← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
06-10-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
02:45:15
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- [00:00]
Brett Vesely
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- [00:46]
John Holmberg
Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big Dick Toledo. This the morning sickness and yeah, I've got. I've got to. I should not be driving. I'm telling you, I broke my own rule this morning.
- [01:02]
Brett Vesely
Here we go again.
- [01:03]
John Holmberg
Well, because I say that those wrong way crashes are almost always caused by cold medication and allergy stuff.
- [01:11]
Brady
You made it all the way.
- [01:13]
John Holmberg
I might have. I don't know. That's a good. There's a good possibility. I was. If you saw a white jeep blazing down past you in the wrong lane, that was me. I don't remember getting here.
- [01:23]
Brett Vesely
Should ask Megan to drive you.
- [01:24]
John Holmberg
I'm never gonna do that again.
- [01:26]
Brett Vesely
You'd have been fine.
- [01:27]
John Holmberg
I'd rather go down to the airport and get into a cockpit and go. I've never done this before, but let me give this a run and ride in a car with her while she's driving. That's crazy. Let Michael J. Fox ride my bike. I'll do the handlebars and I would rather do that anyway. It's. Yeah, I don't know what's going. It's just this massive head just attack. And I jokingly said yesterday that I tested for Covid just because I have tests from years ago. Expired old tests. Tried one Friday, said I had it. Tried one Sunday, said I didn't. I don't care. But I get it. You can't mention that word. Guy says you're not a man. Quit saying Covid. You're paid to do this.
- [02:16]
Brett Vesely
Oh, Jesus.
- [02:16]
John Holmberg
Covid hasn't existed for years and you and your staff continue to bring it up. Poor John Holmberg got Covid then. He didn't. That's right. I got paid a pretty penny to say that I Listened because it's the only morning show around. All the pathetic sponsors you continually praise ruin everything and everyone.
- [02:38]
Brett Vesely
Really?
- [02:38]
John Holmberg
Don't talk about TVs Doug Hopkins that way. That's not nice. The endless commercials and pathetic music. Go back to the actual morning show you have talent for. Call me out on the air. I don't care. I'll give you a good 30 minute laugh. But five years ago, when Covid happened, you lost it. Besides, you'll never air or be honest about any of this. Just abide by your contracts and pathetic lives. HMS fan since 2001. There's really nothing else around except you and Joe Rogan. All right, dude. I wish I could convince people like you that I would take money to talk about COVID if it was available. It's not. Where are. Where are the people that know the guys who pay to talk about stuff that's not real? Because you've got a huckleberry right here. I will take that money. I will gladly if it's substantial. Otherwise, I'm just gonna stick to the good stuff, like Turf Monsters and people are doing good jobs for me and stuff. I go in my backyard and I'm like, this is nice. These people deserve to be talked about. They've done a great job. I've really enjoyed dealing with the gang at Turf Monsters. Doug Hopkins, I really enjoy his company. He's a nice man. I. I'm glad we have a relationship in real life and in business. But where in the world is my opportunity to be a crooked pile of. Because it doesn't exist. No one's ever asked me to talk about. COVID said, we'll pay you. I wish because I do it, there's an opportunity.
- [04:08]
Brady
Everyone got fired yesterday on the COVID.
- [04:12]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw that. That RFK fired everybody. But I just don't understand that. I. I want. I. Look, radio is known for this. And I've been pretty. I've been actually kind of the opposite of most radio people. Where. And you guys have paid a price for it a few times. Where I'm like, we're not doing endorsements for certain things. It's just not happening. You know, we're not gonna butt up against other things. If you're not using the product, we're probably not talking about it. It's that kind of deal. Cause it almost always backfires on you when you say you're using something and you're not and then you reveal it. It's almost inevitable it makes you look like a dickhead. But when, like when it comes down to covert subversive, like, we'll give you millions. Like, people think that has happened. It hasn't happened. I don't know if you've been offered anything. You're from that.
- [04:57]
Brett Vesely
No, I would take it.
- [04:57]
John Holmberg
Yeah, me too. I try to stay on the up and up when it comes to business, but if you want to do underground stuff with me, I'm as crooked as they come. Sure.
- [05:06]
Brett Vesely
My people are all about that.
- [05:07]
John Holmberg
I'm not going to talk about driving Cadillacs when I don't. I'm not. But I will if you give me, like, you know, hey, look, we've got a big, you know, government conspiracy. Oh, I'm in. Because I want to be in on the drama as much as I want the money. That would be great. So, yeah, I jokingly mentioned Covid yesterday, because I've got this head cold, and this dude says that it doesn't exist. And then once again, somebody, and I don't know who, but if you're out there, you want to pay me for that? Evidently, there's contracts and stuff. I need a lawyer for this. Like, I. I don't. He. He knows I don't know this.
- [05:42]
Brett Vesely
So in the words of Sergeant Holka, lighten up, Francis.
- [05:46]
John Holmberg
His name's Jay Foe, and he says, I'm not a man because I mentioned the word Covid, and I need to go back to the morning show I'm good at, which five years ago, I was compromised by becoming part of the. The COVID backstory. And, Brady, are you. Except you're conspicuously quiet. Are you accepting Covid money?
- [06:07]
Brady
Not Covid.
- [06:08]
John Holmberg
Oh, no. Tell me, Brady, what? Oh, big food. You're in with big food.
- [06:13]
Brady
Yeah, big food.
- [06:14]
John Holmberg
Damn you. In the big food. Big food damage. I don't even have anything like that. I'm just another Jew that controls the media. That's it. That's all I am. I can't help myself. It's what we do. So, anyway, J. Foe. I wish. And. And look, you seem to know that this is going on. Put me in touch with some of these people. You know, I could use a little extra. I got to pay some extra bills I didn't. I didn't see coming in the last few weeks. Yeah, one big one. You guys could definitely Jay Foe help out, if you don't mind. Brett, do it, too. I don't know, Brady. Do it. Brady would do it. Who am I talking about? Brady would do it. He'd talk himself into it being legit.
- [06:57]
Brady
It's helping people.
- [06:59]
John Holmberg
I Don't know. Is it just mentioning Covid, like, talking about, like, still. I didn't even say be afraid. And by the way, I'm still here. Like, even if I have Covid. Tripp came in yesterday. He's like, you have Covid? I don't know. Maybe I'm. I'm going old school. It's 2020, bitch. And he just goes, so you shouldn't be here. And I'm like, we're fine. Don't worry about it. It's just a cold.
- [07:18]
Brett Vesely
Brady and I wore masks the entire.
- [07:20]
John Holmberg
Show yesterday just because you didn't. And I breathed all over everything. And I have this microphone, and Larry used it after I was done. Everybody gets it. We'll all survive it. We're not. Like I said yesterday, we ain't scared of no covet. Maybe it kills us again. I don't know. Maybe it wasn't real. But I don't see, there's the problem. I don't know. Nobody's ever. I'm not important enough ever to have. And now it's. Aaron Rodgers is the quarterback for the Steelers. I got to deal with this. I got hydrochloroquine around. I've got. Who knows what's going on with that, But I just want to know.
- [07:52]
Brady
Could be the chemtrails, too.
- [07:53]
John Holmberg
Probably.
- [07:54]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [07:54]
John Holmberg
I like those states that are. They're banning chemtrails.
- [07:59]
Brady
Seek to outlaw chemtrails, even though they aren't really detected yet, by the way.
- [08:06]
John Holmberg
Good.
- [08:07]
Brady
But that just.
- [08:07]
John Holmberg
Sure. And I don't doubt that there's stuff in it, but not necessarily. But if there's a massive conspiracy to make chemtrails poisonous, don't you think that banning it, they'll just find a more like a better way? Like this is at least out in the open. I don't know. Maybe chemtrails are doing stuff. But I find it funny that we're living to be, like, 90. Everything's getting easier every single day with convenience and technology. And we still seem to think that there's this. Just like we had too many people like that. I'm kind of for the idea of the government coming up with a plan to slow us down a little bit. There's 8 billion people on the planet. Since the day I was born, that number has doubled. That seems a lot. And I don't feel like we're getting slowed down too much as a species by all this conspiracy. And sure, it keeps you sick and the money keeps flowing, but I don't know. I got an iPhone. I'm pretty happy.
- [09:00]
Brady
I didn't realize, you know, I heard about the chemtrails before. You know, there's always been that theory and conspiracy going on.
- [09:07]
John Holmberg
Sure.
- [09:08]
Brady
But I didn't realize how much it got into controlling the weather.
- [09:12]
John Holmberg
Oh, it controls everything. And that's what. It's the only thing us Jews can't control.
- [09:17]
Brett Vesely
What, you're working on the weather?
- [09:18]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, we're working on it, my friend. I got a whole group of us. We were so busy with COVID right now and collecting checks. Damn it. That would be nice. I would really enjoy that. So if you're out there, big Covid, and you got. You got. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. You got at least four huckleberries in this building. And be like, let me hear you out. What you got? Yeah, I said it years ago when everybody was mad at gas companies and they start. But I need it. I need gas. So I can't be too mad at them. They do good stuff. They were just. You know, it was the locals that were raising the prices. And I'm like, look, I'm mad about the prices, but if Exxon came to me and said, here's a couple million bucks to talk about how great gas is, I'd be like, gas is pretty great. That's maybe changed my mind on gas is pretty great. I'm wearing shoes, and if it wasn't for oil, that I wouldn't have these on.
- [10:10]
Brady
So would you do a listener cruise on the Valdez?
- [10:13]
John Holmberg
Yeah, we'd.
- [10:14]
Brett Vesely
I would.
- [10:16]
John Holmberg
That sounds nice. I'd go to Thunberg that Greta gotten stuffed in that plane. Speaking of chemtrails, getting stuffed in that plane yesterday was hilarious. She hated every second of it. They jammed her in a plane and sent her home. She didn't get to do her sailboat home, Greta. Anyway, so, no, J. Foe, I'm not even gonna make fun of you. And thanks for saying nice things. You've been listening since 2001. I don't know when you thought we made that swaparoo to be contracted corporate shills for Covid, but it just didn't happen. And I think I've been pretty honest with you guys about everything, for the most part, since 2001 doing this show. I'd tell you. Like, if Covid. People came to me and told me, by the way. If they told me, by the way, it's all horse crap, and we want you to be the voice for it. Like, all right. And then I'd get in with Them. And then I'd like, write a book and tell everybody the truth. And I'd, you know, I'd probably get murdered or whatever, but I'd be a millionaire beforehand. I would get my. Eventually this would pay me to expose it if it's fake, because that's what I'd like to do more than anything else. I'm too inquisitive or to realize, oh my gosh, it is kind of real. And then take money and try to be Don Quixote and warn people, but nobody's ever approached me. I've never been talked to about it. So in a way, I'm kind of. My feelings are hurt that I'm not a big enough deal in any sort of way for Covid to come to this show and say, we need you guys. You got a voice in the city. Closest thing is a guy named Coman and he runs the comedy clubs. And he talks to me a lot about like, hey, we need you. I'm like, yeah, that's nice, but you're not Covid. You can start with a K. It's not even the same. Like, alphabetically. You're not even the same. But I knew this would happen when Aaron Rodgers became a Steeler. I knew this. I knew I'd start feeling the. The cult, like, membership of Aaron Rodgers existence in my life. We'll see how that goes. But anyway, it's nice to be thought of as something, I guess. I guess that's what we'll have to take. Brady. After 25 years of this, people think we're a big enough deal that there's still the sellout. Well, not even the sellout. The underground government conspiracy. People need us to push their agenda. That. That's a compliment to think that we've. That's an achievement. That's like being. That's like people thinking you're gay in Hollywood. You've gone to another level of like, wow, they're paying that much attention to me. I guess if they think that we're. We're pushing an agenda of definite government conspiracy and we are the mouthpiece of it. That puts us in the thing, by the way. No, I doordash just like the rest of you guys, one leg at a time.
- [13:03]
Brady
That's the. I think the last thing they'd want us shilling away for something in the government.
- [13:11]
John Holmberg
Why? Well, cause we tell, right? Yeah. Like, if it was fake, we'd say something. That's what I said. Like, we've been fairly honest. I don't know. I don't get it says John. No way you're shilling for Covid. You're not getting paid by big pharma like that. But I do think the whole show might be getting paid for some dick hardening medicine. Because I'm hearing a lot of ads about that. That is true. Toledo and Brett have been talking a lot about that dick hardening medicine.
- [13:35]
Brett Vesely
I'll get paid. No doubt about it.
- [13:37]
John Holmberg
And you.
- [13:38]
Brett Vesely
I am using the product.
- [13:39]
John Holmberg
You're using the product. And it's not necessarily to get your dick hard. Although when you get testosterone, I'm not gonna lie, I'll tell you that. That testosterone.
- [13:46]
Brett Vesely
But the Peptides too. That's what I've been really doing.
- [13:48]
John Holmberg
That's right.
- [13:48]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [13:49]
John Holmberg
And you like it?
- [13:51]
Brett Vesely
It's great.
- [13:52]
John Holmberg
In fact, you're doing it so much, I've actually talked to the people about doing it. See? Yeah, it works. Brett's endorsement worked on me. You crooked son of a bitch. Sell out, get paid.
- [14:03]
Brady
Peptides sound delicious.
- [14:05]
John Holmberg
No, no. You don't eat them. You shoot up. Wrong. Big food, see? Big food. He always takes him. That's why we always say that. It's always food with you. What, he's been paid by big food. Yeah. I don't know. It's also stupid. Everybody's so dumb. But if I could, I would absolutely take that money. The marches in LA and everywhere else, I might be naive to this whole thing. I watched a lot of that stuff yesterday, and they're breaking out. Like, their anchors are now marching along with people. And I looked and I'm like, okay, the cops are all in riot gear. And that makes people nervous, evidently. And then the National Guard's not even. They're there, but they're not doing anything.
- [14:50]
Brady
Pisses them off.
- [14:50]
John Holmberg
It pisses them off, right? What happens? Just throwing it out there. We just ignored it. Well, we don't send the cops. Like, ask the marchers, where are you guys headed? And they're like, to the Capitol. Like, all right. And then we just have like a thousand cops at the Capitol. Just like, don't break anything. We just let them walk around. I think they just walk until they get bored. And they're like, are you done? Like, yep. Okay. But when you line this, it does kind of look like you're in a fight when you line the streets with cops and don't stop traffic. Like, if they just start marching in the middle of the road, it's like, all right. People are driving along, like, could you move? I'm trying to get home from whatever you're doing, you're doing.
- [15:31]
Brett Vesely
Have fun.
- [15:32]
John Holmberg
The only rule. The only rule I have for a march about not wanting to leave the United States and Brady brought up yesterday, you can't wave a flag from somewhere else. That's kind of gonna. That's the thing that makes people go, we don't care about you. If you're walking around with a flag of another country saying, I don't want to go here ever, don't deport me. And I understand the argument. Like, it seems a bit aggressive. But what if marches and all marches, not just this one, all of them. All of them. We just let them have it. Go ahead, walk away. We should build like a street march street. So here you go. You marches right down to the capitol, and you just stand there until everybody gets bored again. It's too hot to be mad here. I'm never worried about Phoenix marches because it's way too hot to care. Look, there's a certain aspect of marching here where pretty much signing up for whatever it is at the end. If I can just go home or into air conditioning, like, I'm not going to stand in this for a cause. It's just, I don't love anything that much. I don't have any cause that great. Like, even dogs and stuff, it's like, we got to do something. All the dogs are like, I don't know. We wait till, like, November. It's too hot to march. I follow the lead of the gays. The homosexuals won't even be proud in June. They only do that when the weather's nice and they're smart. But if we just let them march, Like, I watched Los Angeles marches yesterday, and it was like, they were like, the news loves it. They're trying to like, oh, what's that over there? Oh, some over there. And nothing was really going on. And they're like, man, it's going to be a bad night. Like, well, you keep telling everybody that, and they're going to feel like it might be. So, you know, if you ever walk in your house when you thought you heard a noise, and so you're listening for noises, and then the next noise scares you, and it's just like the air conditioner coming on. That's when somebody tells you to be like, oh, it's going to get bad. It's going to get bad. The first noise you hear is like, is this it? So of course you're on edge. So what happens if we just ignore it? I know business owners would be like, oh, we can't. I'M like, well, if they trash your place, hopefully you have insurance. I know that sounds terrible, but it's better than the alternative, which is every day for like weeks on end that you don't have business because the marchers are going by and cops are everywhere. Just ignore it. You stand by there and I don't know where. I'm not a march guy. I don't think I'd ever march. I don't know that I'm a march guy.
- [17:43]
Brady
I've heard mixed, you know, reports, like people saying, oh, it's been very peaceful.
- [17:49]
John Holmberg
Sure.
- [17:50]
Brady
And I. I believe there's parts that it has been very.
- [17:53]
John Holmberg
Course.
- [17:54]
Brady
But seeing at least some of the videos and stuff, I'm like, man, all.
- [17:59]
John Holmberg
Things can be true at once.
- [18:00]
Brady
Peaceful about that.
- [18:01]
John Holmberg
Both things can be true at once. That. That's very peaceful and very. And then there's some pockets of crazy and the pockets crazy. You're going to get the attention. That's fine. I understand that, but I just don't. I don't like the march thing. I don't. I don't know. I could do it during business hours and go into the capitol like before five march down there and just like, say, can we talk to somebody about some things? And then, you know, I don't know. Or make some phone calls. That seems to be the one thing that politicians can't stand. We had that guy on last Tuesday, and evidently a lot of you bothered Representative Montenegro. And he made a comment like, all right, enough. But he didn't hear the bill. But he made it. Made it known that he was tired of the emails and the phone calls, which is good.
- [18:43]
Brett Vesely
Still wouldn't hear it, though, huh?
- [18:44]
John Holmberg
Well, he. Yeah, it was too late. It was a little late. Tuesday, Wednesday. It wasn't even their fault. It was like, that was the thing he had to sell, but they're going to try to work it into something else anyway. You just kind of, you know, I have to stay diligent. I get marching to a certain degree. I'm not going to do it. I don't like anything that much. I'll just find something else to do. It's a passion problem. It's probably a white guy problem. I'm like, what am I so angry about? You know, there's Amazon. Everything's so great. And I understand that if I lived, like, if I was illegal here and essentially you try to take my Amazon away, I'd be pretty pissed off. But I'm not much right. If you took away all this technology, maybe I'D march. But even still, I'm not so sure. I'm not a marcher, but I thought marches have to be like, hey, we're gonna go from. We have to, like, sign a paper. So we're gonna go from, like, central and, you know, that's a parade. Yeah, that's a parade. Okay. All right. I don't know the difference, to be honest with you. One just seems a little bit angrier than the other. But I'm the angry one during a parade because it's clogging something up. And I think parades are stupid. I don't know what I'd rather do, a parade or a march. I think I'd go to a march first.
- [19:57]
Brett Vesely
I said they should have kept Metro center there. They could all designated march in air conditioning. They got an Orange Julius in there, you know? I mean. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- [20:08]
John Holmberg
Like a march a week. That's not a bad idea. I just don't. I just don't. I think if we just told the cops, like, just hang out, find out where they're going, have a couple cops hanging around the front, go, where are you guys headed? And they're like, down to the Capitol. Like, all right. And then you call ahead and you're like, hey, they're coming to the Capitol. And I think they're taking Washington. Like, okay. And then just kind of wait there and let them walk around. It just seems. It was like when I used to do the zombie walk in Halloween and thousands of people, they just kind of closed the lane off of the street, and then we walked along. Like, when it was over, you just kind of stood there like, is there a band? Like, are we going home? And then everybody kind of went home in their job. Exactly. Like, I think everybody goes home. There was one of the years that I actually did that we ended up at the Ballpark, and we're in the, like, that area between what used to be. What is it? It's the Guy Fieri's now and then. And then the Ballpark, and they have that. We're all standing there, and everybody's kind of milling around, and there's, like, some kiosks. And I got on stage, and I'm like, hey, everybody, thanks for that. That was fun. I'm like, I think there's a band next. They might have already played, I don't know. And they're like, all right. They all stood and watched me, and I'm like, I'm going home. And I remember saying that to the mic. I'm gonna go home. And I put it on because I'm like, I think I'm done. And if I'm done, a lot of you will disperse. It was a fun thing.
- [21:24]
Brett Vesely
You're like forest. You were just done.
- [21:26]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I was done. I'm gonna stop running. And I did. And that's enough. And I went and grabbed something to eat at Windsor and I went home and that was it. And that's kind of how marches feel to me. It's like at the end, did anything happen? We were like, they really got mad at us today. Just ignore it. The media won't. So you'll still get your attention. And that's really all you're looking for.
- [21:47]
Brady
Draws more people to it.
- [21:48]
John Holmberg
I just don't get waving flags for other countries. When you're saying, I want to stay and you can hate and like protest all day long. I think that's great.
- [21:56]
Brett Vesely
But Matthew said it's not a march though, it's a full blown riot at this point.
- [22:00]
John Holmberg
Sometimes. Yeah, it can be. But I think the part of that riot part is that there's a bunch of dudes with like tear gas masks and guns pointed at you. So it makes you feel like you're in a fight even when you're not. This one said, John, you sound so naive right now. A lot of these people are being paid to go there. Oh, I know, that's true too. Yeah, that's true that you got the. But that the reason why is because it's covered as if there's an adversarial. I don't think it's naive to say that if we took away the adversary, it would just be a bunch of people on the same page walking down the street.
- [22:38]
Dick Toledo
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- [23:39]
John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness. I think the problem is, is that people are going to get all crazy and try to rile them up. And they might. But as long as you have the like. As long as we act like, afraid, like there's paid. There's paid actors here. They're going to blow up all of our stores. We better get thousands and thousands of police officers. Then they're going to be like. Then it's easier to rile them up so the paid actors have a harder job. When normal people are just walking down the road and they're like, let's. Let's break into this piano shop. They'd be like, no, there's no reason for that. I think most people down there are pretty cool.
- [24:10]
Brady
Let's burn a car.
- [24:11]
John Holmberg
Yeah. And they've had. They've had situations when they, you know, they lose their minds and marches and stuff. But I don't know that they've done it if we ignored them as far as like, you know, police presence and all that stuff. Just, you know, we meet you at the end. Maybe it's wrong, maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's crazy. Maybe what I'm saying is crazy. But it seems like the thing we're doing doesn't work. So I'm just coming up with an alternative idea, you know, what they all need to do. And I've been told this by a couple of very important people. We need to get our Covid misters out and miss them with COVID Because I know how to do that now. I know how to.
- [24:45]
Brett Vesely
How much are you making? Get 10 grand off this thing or something about it.
- [24:51]
John Holmberg
10 grand that's in and out of my pocket like nobody's business. Please. It'll take a lot more to buy me off with COVID conspiracy money then. 10 grand. Covid. The feel good hit of the summer. I may or may not have it. I don't know. It just seems like I'm watching this thing. Maybe it's the cold medicine. Maybe I'm on the Mucinex and it's making me think either too clearly or too stupidly. But I'm watching the riots and I'm Like, I think this seems like the fastest way to make this stop. I'm not so sure what I was watching yesterday anybody knew where they were going. Like, the cops would stop and look around, and then they just start walking. And the marchers seem to go with them, like, okay, this way. And then they get to an intersection and they'd all turn like, yeah, we're moving them this way. And then the cops would stop and, like, regroup and then set up a new line. And I'm like, I'm not so sure. The marchers or things are just kind of out there. I don't. I don't think they had, like, a dedicated route. They seem like you get pushed around. Well, it could be pushed around pretty easy. Instead of just like, ignore them and let them walk around, It'll turn into like a New Year's Eve party. Maybe some stuff goes wrong. But, you know, and I don't understand.
- [25:59]
Brady
I know they won't report on the. You know, there's probably more walks and protests that happen that have been peaceful.
- [26:07]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they're getting it out.
- [26:08]
Brady
Just, you know, from what I've seen from L. A. My perception is, man, they have a tough time having a peaceful.
- [26:16]
John Holmberg
Well, it's just. Well, and it wasn't what it was.
- [26:18]
Brady
I mean, throughout the.
- [26:19]
John Holmberg
That bad. The problem I don't get is that if you start mashing up cop cars and painting on the sides of buildings, your taxes are gonna go up. Who do you think pays for that? That's dumb.
- [26:31]
Brett Vesely
Not like, it's not high enough already.
- [26:32]
John Holmberg
Right? They have to hire, like, government buildings that have f ice sprayed all over them. That's a government job. Tax money pays for those. We gotta hire a company to go cover that up. And some of that's marble. It's not gonna be easy.
- [26:47]
Brady
The Kobe Bryant mural.
- [26:50]
John Holmberg
No, completely. Oh, they'll fix that.
- [26:54]
Brady
Oh, I can't.
- [26:55]
John Holmberg
Well, no, I'll just repay Kobe over it. If it was a mural, was it a spray paint mural?
- [26:59]
Brady
Yes.
- [27:00]
John Holmberg
Oh, man. I'll fix. They'll paint right over that. There's nothing. You hire a few dudes over there from Echo park and you're fine.
- [27:07]
Brady
Might have been. Not spray paint. Could have been.
- [27:09]
John Holmberg
Yeah. They probably shell act over it, so they'll. Don't. I'm not worried about that. If there's one thing LA is not short on, it's a bunch of spray paint artists you can go fix stuff with. But washing stuff off, that's a job. And that porous marble, man, that's not if you ever get a cup ring on your Carrera marble countertops. Jesus Christ. You have to hire a guy. So I don't get it. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's the Mucinex. But it's kind of watch that whole thing. Like, it seems like there's a better way. Just let them march. Ignore it. And if they start losing their minds, we got cameras everywhere.
- [27:44]
Brady
You know, there's where the controversy is. Who. Who drew first blood? You know, when did it get. It get out of hand?
- [27:52]
John Holmberg
There's no. If. There's no, like, adversary there. And just letting them march and they start beating each other up. Okay. It's just at the end, you just can't go into the building. I don't get it. I just don't get it. So that's just my take. And again, argue with me all day because I'm not saying I'm right about anything. I'm just saying, is this an idea? Just leave them alone. They're mad. I don't know if they're gonna cause any trouble until they started getting harassed a little bit. The Phoenix march seems to be just fine. It's too hot. Turn up the heat a little bit, make them only march in Phoenix in June, and all of our problems are solved. I also saw the story about that dude. Oh, this is crazy. That he. That father that killed his daughters. And then they checked his computer and the things he was searching and stuff.
- [28:40]
Brady
Where they went camping.
- [28:42]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's. Is that the one? Yeah, they were. He's 31 years old, and he searched on Google. How does a person move to Canada? How to relocate to Canada. Fastest way to get to Canada. Jobs in Canada. Canada, Jobs. And he was looking for jobs and stuff. He's clearly thinking about going to Canada. And they're like, are you going to Canada? It's like, no. Like, you gotta. I have had recently, like, sometimes you search stuff, and this might be Mucinex again. I was on the. I watched a lot of Better Call Saul because I haven't felt well. So I've been, like, binging some stuff I know I'm gonna like. And it led me right into the Breaking Bad and the first couple episodes, and I'm like. And I forgot. So just the other night, on my computer, I. Or on my phone, I text in what kind of acid dissolves a body.
- [29:26]
Brett Vesely
Oh, nice.
- [29:28]
John Holmberg
Then all I think about is, like, if Brett has another incident and there's a body that's like, flo. It's Hydraulic, I think I. Now I don't remember again.
- [29:38]
Brady
Hydrochloric.
- [29:39]
John Holmberg
Hydrochloric, maybe. I don't know. I don't remember what it was, but it was. I can't remember right now. I want to search again. Brett, Search that for me real quick. But I've had, like, several of those. My dog has happy tail. Have you ever had a dog with happy tail?
- [29:52]
Brett Vesely
Yes.
- [29:53]
John Holmberg
It's horrible. So Yardley hits the corner of the bedroom wall, the spare bedroom, and splits her tail open. Happy tail is when dogs have that hardwired tail and it hits something and it breaks. You've. It's the Bellagio. It's a murder scene in your house, everywhere. And they don't. It doesn't hurt it. They just keep wagging that thing and they're. They're a sprinkler system of blood.
- [30:22]
Brady
I'm surprised Coco has not. I mean. Yeah, that Coco is a K12 nightstick.
- [30:28]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [30:28]
Brady
It doesn't break.
- [30:29]
John Holmberg
Well, it hits a corner. It will, because Yardley can poke an eye out. She can break a bone with his tail. She hits the side of this, like the. Where the wall meets. It's a 90 degree. And she cranked it and she got happy tail. Happy tail is very real. And it's rare, but it's. When it happens, you know, there's blood everywhere. So again, same day about the. The acid in the body. I'm texting. How do I get a lot of blood off of matte paint? And I'm like, I'm gonna go to jail a lot.
- [31:00]
Brett Vesely
Come on, man.
- [31:01]
John Holmberg
I know, but how do you do it? Because it doesn't come off. Look at me. Yes, you do. Hydrogen peroxide washes the paint down. And that's the stuff that gets blood out. And I have to paint over it. But the. I'm never gonna match that. So now I gotta paint the whole room. I mean, the blood is everywhere. It looks like the staircase. It's like O.J. would be like, man, this is a lot of blood. It is. It is. And it's just worse. And it's. Where she was hitting the wall is just. There's 7,000 marks. And then just all over the woodwork, the door. I like tappy tail because she was so happy her tail was going so hard and so happy that she hit the wall and it split. It. It is gross. And I've seen it twice. Not in the hallway. This, like, the blood is every. It's a murder scene. It is truly. Like, there are murder scenes. Like, Scott Peterson had Less evidence in his house than I do. I'm not worried because you DNA test that's going to come back three legged pitbull. It's not going to be a thing.
- [32:01]
Brett Vesely
Ours was, ours was so bad that we wound up having to get the tail docked because he just kept breaking it open. Yeah, it was just bad.
- [32:08]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yards is a wagger and she loves using it to hit stuff. Like she does it on purpose. Yeah, she goes to like knock on doors. She'll stand in a doorway when she wants something and hit her. Hit the wall with her tail and look at you. Like hey, over here. It's hilarious. But she smashed it and there's blood everywhere.
- [32:25]
Brett Vesely
Belgian, he was like Indiana Jones.
- [32:27]
John Holmberg
Yeah, thing like a bullwhip.
- [32:28]
Brett Vesely
Snap. Yeah.
- [32:29]
John Holmberg
So I got blood everywhere. So I don't know. Like this dude, remember that guy a few years ago that killed his wife on New Year's Eve? And then like two days later it's like, how do you get blood out of the cracks of a wood floor? And then he ran off and he found. He got the list and then he went to the Home Depot and bought all of that and he was just like, oh, I was just watching a team. Like, why'd you buy it all then? I don't. It's just goofing around. Where's your wife? I don't know, she's vacation or something. Yeah, they got this but this guy killed his kids and then started to be. And they're like, where are you going? Like, no, we're not. I'm nothing. It's like, how come you keep looking at Canadian? They're trying to go to Canada. I don't know what you're talking about. Is it nine six and five year old daughters that he reported missing and then he was going to flee to Canada. Your computer remembers everything. I'll never forget Larry's mom, when she retired was doing work for the state, just filing court documents and like getting all like she was putting on paper for lawyers, things from cell phones. And I didn't know this until Larry's mom said it every time you type anything in your phone, even if you delete registers. So if I'm writing Brady, I'm going to kill you by using, you know, like I'm not going to really send that and I just delete it. It's in there. And she and they would. When they had phone access to these, these prisoners, they had every keystroke ever done. All the backtracks, all the misspelled words that you deleted and redid. Everything's in there. It was insane. So if you're gonna do that kind of stuff, don't now. I'm nervous about searching Happy Tail because there is my. That spare room is. It's more blood than it is room at this point. I've never seen that. I didn't like it was shooting out. I didn't see it when she did it, but I picked at the scab.
- [34:23]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [34:23]
John Holmberg
Oh. Every time she wags, it's like it hits a trigger. It's hilarious because it's blood. It's like a horror movie, but. And it doesn't hurt, evidently. At all. She does not care. She keeps mashing that tail up against corners of stuff.
- [34:40]
Brett Vesely
Just can't help themselves, you know? Even if it does hurt, they're just like.
- [34:43]
John Holmberg
He's just so happy.
- [34:45]
Brady
What'd you do, wrap it?
- [34:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah, you gotta put something around it. Just kind of keep him from banging into stuff, opening it up again. Bottom line is, you know who'll never have that for. For me or any of you guys? A woman. A woman will never, ever break her tail open because she. Women don't have the happy wife. The happy wife syndrome. They do bleed a lot, but it's not because they're so happy they can't contain their inner. They'll never get so excited, they'll ram into a wall for you. That's why dogs are better than people. Women, Same thing. You'll never meet a man so happy that he runs to the door and opens up a part of his body like a vein. I'm sorry. Just so happy to see you. Actually. Just cut myself wide open and I don't care. I just want to hug dogs the best. Anyway, let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800 A good one. Brought to you by Mucinex. It cures Covid, which is still very real. It's 98k upd. Wake up Arizona's most powerful rock nav station. It's out of control now. 88 K U PD. Morning sleeperness. Morning sickness. Thank you very much. Miles to nowhere. Brought to you by Mucinex. Guzzling it for the last 48 hours. Putting me behind the wheel is dangerous. You don't realize that when you're on Mucinex until you're about a mile into your ride going, the Mucinex. This is a bad idea. Keep it together. Stay on target. It was weird. I got to about Thomas and a guy changed lanes and I'm like, hold, hold. I'm like, he's just changing lanes. Calm down. Like, oh, boy, I got some mucinex tension going right now. Guy who emailed me was mad that I brought up Covid the other day because I tested for. Just to see. Not that I would have done anything differently had I had a terrible case. Bruce says, john, might I suggest that the man with the wiener in his mouth take it out and. Or, I'm sorry, wiener in his ass. Take it out and put it in his mouth so it shuts him up so he can listen to the genius that is free every morning. I believe you are what you eat. So tell that man I think he's a dick. I don't want to go that far with J. FO he's just still wired up about COVID I mentioned it. It triggered him. He flashed back to all the times Covid touched him. He got fingered by Covid in 2020. It ruined lives. This guy says, really? There's a guy out there who thinks you're in a conspiracy theory to advance Covid. You guys can't jack up your Jeep, change windshield wipers, or do anything really handy at all, but you're part of one of the largest conspiracies ever. Yeah, right? That's happening. Yeah, Robert, you're right. This is. If you ever watch the video of Brett and Brady trying to change my windshield wipers on my Jeep, you'd realize this is not the place the government's going to turn to. Go. This is exactly the go getters I need for this project.
- [37:52]
Brady
You think Fauci can change some wipers on a Jeep?
- [37:55]
Brett Vesely
That's right.
- [37:56]
John Holmberg
Really? You want to be in that camp?
- [37:58]
Brett Vesely
Give us that EM50 project.
- [37:59]
John Holmberg
You want to be a Fauci guy? Okay, you know what's sad? I don't know. I know you can't. I know I can't. I know you can't reach him, which is even worse. Fauci probably has that same problem. I'm not saying he's a dumb man. I'm saying that he's probably. You know, he was in over his head like everyone was, and then he got real stupid and, like, he's got agendas. We're just not very bright. And then with the marching and stuff, people are like, the problem isn't the passionate protester. It's the man child that leaves his mom's basement, starts chucking rocks to get a free TV from Walmart. Yeah, see, to me, that Jason's right. That's where the marching thing goes sideways. I think it's because marches are dumb. And I think in this day and age, when you are. When you're so used to getting a prize for what you do, when a march is over, you look around and go, did they fix it? And when nothing happened other than your voice was heard, I think it frustrates people more that they've got to leave and there's no solution because, you know, if you order doordash and like, someday that's, you know, you might. Or you might not get food. I think this day it's interesting how they.
- [39:14]
Brady
Yeah, I've never heard much about the wrap ups.
- [39:16]
John Holmberg
Well, it's instant satisfaction. We're in a world of instant satisfaction. So the march has got to have results. For most of the idiots in it to feel like it was, there was a reason for it. You can't just march to the end and then it's like, all right, everybody go home. Like, we do it. Yeah, well, they heard us. Is anything different?
- [39:32]
Brady
Got the point across.
- [39:33]
John Holmberg
Not a thing is different. And then they get mad. And you know a guy on email who's 100% right, he's like, you're taking too much Mucinex. They've tried leaving marchers alone and they nearly burned major cities down. Like, yeah, I get it, you know, but I don't like to compare anything to the summer of 2020, because I was ready to march and I'm not a marcher. Like, I was frustrated that year, like keeping things, you know, I can't go anywhere and, you know, like, everything was shut down. I felt everyone felt oppressed. Everyone, no matter what, it wasn't, you know, and then people who had really been oppressed for years felt double oppressed. And that just blew up. That was a tinderbox. This is not too far off, but I don't think everyone's feeling pushed back now. Back then everyone did. That was weird. That year and a half, we have all just kind of skipped. Like, we ignore it. This is weird. Like a year of the whole world is being locked up. It was weird.
- [40:31]
Brady
But were those marches, was that during. Was that when the BM BLM marches to happen?
- [40:36]
John Holmberg
Yeah, but I mean, it was because everybody was like.
- [40:39]
Brady
And we still were kind of on a.
- [40:40]
John Holmberg
We all right, in between. We were all oppressed. We were all being told we have to listen to a higher power tell us that you can't go anywhere. And then the whole George Floyd thing happened and everybody's, you know, the tensions were high to begin with, let alone now start mucking about the streets and doing weird stuff like taking full. Everybody felt like the powers had too much power. Everyone, even people who were like, you know, kind of pansies about it, didn't want to be locked up. It was weird. So I don't compare those two times to now because I don't think Logan Paul's gonna get involved in this. And he couldn't wait to march. Everybody just wanted to go outside. It was odd. But, you know, I'm not. I'm not saying I got solutions. I'm just saying what I see ain't working. So maybe there's a better way. And I think ignoring, like, I take Brady's approach, just ignore it. How bad could it be? Valdez, Val de Ra around this thing. So, you know, get your rose colored glasses on. Let's go. Is it in my neighborhood? Nope. All right. We're gonna just ignore it. Seems about right. I'm just. I'm doing a good job of that. This one's. Well, I'll get to that in a little bit. We have to get to the thing yesterday. Now, I saw this. This is. This is how you have to worry about. The real news is that they do have an agenda. It isn't Covid based, but they're very careful. Yesterday I saw a story about women who had to be rescued off camelback mountain. And it was bad. One of them is in terrible condition, and four of them were hurt, and they had, like, thousands of fire. If you see the pictures, there's a hundred firefighters. They've got the big wheel. They've got a helicopter. They rescued these ladies off of camelback mountain who they decided yesterday to go up on Camelback Mountain, 108 degrees and try to. That's not an easy hike. People think that's just a walk up, you know, like a trail. It gets tough. And so, you know, if you're not used to the heat or you're not doing this on a regular basis, it's gonna kick your ass. Well, it did. And it was all over the news yesterday that they did a rescue. It's gone. It's hard to find the story, but it was a mommy empowerment group that went up there. And the lady on the news keeps talking about how it was a success, even though they had to be rescued because they had heat exhaustion so badly that they had to put firefighters at risk. And the one lady's like. And it was great. Everybody did really great. Nobody did great. If you were on the big wheel and the fire department is surrounding your big wheel on the trip down the Mountain. It wasn't a good hike. It's a bad hike.
- [43:06]
Brady
And then talk about how many ladies.
- [43:09]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I'm not sure if they did.
- [43:10]
John Holmberg
I don't know. Like, maybe it was 4,000.
- [43:13]
Brady
Four went.
- [43:14]
John Holmberg
If they had 4,000 women climbing in a mommy empowerment group. First of all, good on you for getting that many mommies involved on 109 degrees. Second, still, four is a high number. To lose four or five thousand people going up that mountain is not unusual during, you know, the week, I would suppose. And I don't hear about it too often. When you lose four in a day, it's a bad hike. It's a bad hike. I don't know about, you know, Everest, but if you lose four in a day, I'm thinking you're grateful for the survivors. But it's a bad hike.
- [43:44]
Brady
One, one in critical condition. Two were air flight out of there.
- [43:49]
John Holmberg
I'll tell you.
- [43:49]
Brady
Third or the fourth one refused.
- [43:52]
John Holmberg
Yeah, she didn't need to. You know, they.
- [43:54]
Brady
They iced her up. I'll tell you this, because now they show the. The new ice machine they have at the.
- [43:58]
John Holmberg
That's great for the fire department. Yeah, they can ice shop and put it all in that. They ice up that big wheel. I went on a bike ride once with my friend's wife, and she fell off her bike, cut her leg up pretty bad. We had to have the fire department show up. And they show up. It's a lot of them. One call, and they're like, we're getting. And we were a quarter mile off the trailhead, and she's bleeding pretty. You know, she had a big cut on her calf. I was fine. I rode up the hill. When I turned around and I saw somebody laying down behind me, I'm like, oh, I gotta get Mike's wife. And I rode back down, and she's down. And I'm like, all right, let's call the. You can't walk. And they all showed up. I consider that a bad ride. Even though 50% of us were absolutely fine. We had a ride or down the day you almost died. We made it back, and I still consider that a bad ride. Josh and I talk about that like, oh, boy, we almost killed Brett. It's 113. I love riding in that stuff. 113. Josh and I are killing it. And Brett was a different color at the end. Brett would have been bigoted towards himself at the end. He turned this odd shade of beige that was not human and then sort of went gray. And I'm like, you need to Come up with a slur for whatever.
- [45:00]
Brett Vesely
Started marching.
- [45:01]
John Holmberg
Yeah. He just started marching against whatever was oppressing him. You weren't normal.
- [45:05]
Brett Vesely
That's a bad ride.
- [45:06]
John Holmberg
We almost killed Brett. Got back to it. Took you about an hour.
- [45:10]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [45:10]
John Holmberg
To normalize. And you didn't like it.
- [45:12]
Brett Vesely
Nope.
- [45:13]
John Holmberg
And we took that risk. We knew. But this is the lady that said the thing about that. It was pretty great. Is this it? We are a women's mom's group that we said we want to push ourselves.
- [45:23]
Brady
To the next level.
- [45:24]
John Holmberg
We want to push past our limits. Sometimes people miscalculate. And it was a miscalculation.
- [45:28]
Dick Toledo
But it wasn't.
- [45:30]
John Holmberg
She wanted to push herself. They wanted to push themselves. They pretty good. Pretty amazing, actually. No. And sometimes things don't work out the way we hope. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nobody did amazing. If you're in a big wheel on the way down the hill. No one did amazing. Don't encourage this. Don't say it's a women's power. Look. When 10 dudes come to rescue your women's empowerment march. Shut up about it. Just say it was. There's a bunch of broads who made a mistake. That's it.
- [45:51]
Brett Vesely
What's with these broads? Any kind of mom puts themselves and everybody else at risk climbing up a mountain when it's 108 degrees.
- [45:58]
Brady
Trail was open.
- [45:59]
John Holmberg
Hell's wrong with. They need a PR guy. Because at the end you're like, we don't mention that this is a mommy empowering group because people like Holmberg are gonna make fun of it tomorrow. You guys gotta shut up. Hollybach.
- [46:09]
Brett Vesely
Oh, man.
- [46:10]
John Holmberg
She covered this. Oh, the boxer. Some of the tactics they use today.
- [46:14]
Brady
Could help save that woman's life and.
- [46:16]
John Holmberg
Other lives in the future. I think her mother is a model and her dad is a predatory cat. He's just. There's something special about her. You can't. Like, immediately that group needed to get together and say, all right, when the firefighters get here, we're just four chicks who made a mistake. We're not an empowerment group. We're not like str. What are we, The Amelia Earhart mommies group? We're a failure. We crashed. This was a goof. We're not talking about it. We got 10 dudes that are going to come rescue us right now. Bad for women's empowerment. I hope that lady's okay. I hope they're all alright. But pr. Get your own internal PR team to recognize. You can't go to a news camera and go, you know she just wanted to push herself. She, she did great. Everybody did great. Like, no, you were on big wheels getting toted off the mountain by men. It's a bad woman's movement.
- [47:04]
Brett Vesely
On top of that, these broads put all these dudes at risk, right? 40, 40 first responders up there trying to save their dumb asses.
- [47:11]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
- [47:12]
Brett Vesely
It's 108 degrees out. What the hell are you doing?
- [47:14]
John Holmberg
There's signs.
- [47:17]
Brady
Well, that's what they're. It was right on the.
- [47:22]
John Holmberg
It was on the bubble, but they.
- [47:23]
Brady
On the bubble and they were. They're trying to blame the weather service.
- [47:26]
John Holmberg
For saying, well, they can blame anybody.
- [47:28]
Brady
There's a level look, and the guy defined it. Here's what we do on the you.
- [47:33]
John Holmberg
Blame the weather service. I went outside yesterday and I knew exactly what it was. It was a little too hot. So the weather service and the signs and everything else and the mommy and there's certain times when I get on my bike and I'm like, I'm going to ride in this heat today. And I'm like, it's got me today. I like, I know immediately when the sun's like touching me and I'm like, I don't like this one.
- [47:55]
Dick Toledo
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- [48:56]
John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness there's been time. I love riding in the heat. I love it. I love riding in the heat. I love. But anything over 110, I'm really not doing it. And I've done it a couple of times. And there's. And I'll coat myself and water my hole, and I'm dry in five minutes. So it's. I. I am loaded with all this stuff. But look. Women's empowerment groups can't be rescued by men and still call it a success. It's just a bad idea.
- [49:23]
Dick Toledo
Just got a text her in that says, not for nothing, I'm anonymous, but I was on that call yesterday. Those ladies were absolute dumbasses.
- [49:32]
John Holmberg
Okay, thank you. From. From a first. First responder who shall remain anonymous, and.
- [49:39]
Brett Vesely
That guy's life is at risk because of the death.
- [49:41]
John Holmberg
The only reason I would. The only reason, knowing this, what I know now, that I would go h around on Camelback with no water today is to meet Holly Bach. That's about as. That's. That's really the only reason you'd want to do this. You know what never happens? Daddy empowerment groups. Getting stuck on stuff. It doesn't happen. We don't. We don't do it.
- [49:59]
Brady
Just so frustrating. Who wants to march with me today? Shut down Camelback.
- [50:03]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Usually a daddy empowerment group is five guys at Zips talking to the one dude who stepped outside his marriage, trying to fix stuff for him. Like. Like there's five. Daddy empowerment. I'm gonna lose everything. That's a daddy empowerment group. They don't go up mountains. They might go camping or golfing. We don't. You never see it. All us daddies were on the mountain, and we did great. You all got rescued. It was a failure. No, we wanted to push ourselves. Like, you're idiots. Daddy empowerment group, quit it.
- [50:35]
Brady
Some of them did pretty good, man.
- [50:37]
John Holmberg
Think about that, ladies. You don't need to be empowered. Yeah, some of them. Some of the dudes were great. The dead guy, yeah, that's bad. But one in critical condition.
- [50:44]
Brady
She really pushed herself.
- [50:45]
John Holmberg
She pushed hard. She pushed herself. It was a miscalculation. Right. That almost led to her death.
- [50:51]
Brady
But if she comes out of this, she'll realize.
- [50:53]
John Holmberg
Here's the worst part about it. I don't know if the stupid hiker law is going to kick in and the mommy empowerment group's got to pay for their own rescue, but a bunch of dudes are going to write checks to pay for the rescue. That's the worst part of mommy empowerment group. They had a Monday morning off. That means they're not Working. So whoever's covering the bills at home has to pay the stupid hiker bill, which means mommy empowerment group has to go. Roger. What is it? I just got a bill for eleven hundred dollars for the mommy empowerment group failure. I mean, supermarch.
- [51:26]
Brett Vesely
Why Postinos is that expensive this week?
- [51:28]
John Holmberg
What's her.
- [51:29]
Brett Vesely
Aren't you.
- [51:29]
John Holmberg
Well, we got rescued and we have to pay for that. Can you. Can I. Is there any. So them dude's gonna have to pay that bill because these chicks aren't working. It's Monday in the middle of the day. Either. They've got morning shows on radio. And I didn't see Beth out there.
- [51:41]
Brett Vesely
Was ladonna out there or.
- [51:43]
John Holmberg
They're not Harvey? No. Ladonna's on top of the mountain going, I am king of Phoenix. Come on, get up here. Who wants a piece of ladonna? I'll be on the top of the hill. Race you to the top, bitches. Ladonna takes the big wheel up anyway on her back just in case one of you broads tumbles. Ladonna's got all the risk. We're not calling any men. You got all the men you need here. Yeah, I didn't see any morning show hosts or women who worked overnights hitting the mommy empowerment trail. That's a bunch of PV and Gilbert moms and Arcadia ladies with the day off because they have every day off do mommy empowerment. That's the stupidest phrase.
- [52:30]
Brady
You know, 5:30 in the morning.
- [52:33]
John Holmberg
Yeah, you should. But they're pushing, and maybe I'm a bad influencer.
- [52:37]
Brett Vesely
It was a success, obviously.
- [52:38]
John Holmberg
I like riding at like three in the afternoon on hot days. I'm a weird lizard that way. But I also know not to do it when it's like 108 is about it. That's about where you got to stop. And I've done more. It's not good. And, you know, I think to myself, and I'm alone. If I crash, I die. If I knock myself out, I'm gonna get cooked out here. And I think that's pretty dumb. But I know that. I know how dumb I am when I do that. I enjoy the hell out of it because I like the heat a lot. It's weird. It's growing up here. Sometimes you just. Some people lean into it and some people don't. It's like people who love snow, like blizzards and stuff. I don't get that at all. But I understand the extremes. I love the heat. Doesn't bother me whatsoever. However, I have a burn Period.
- [53:30]
Brady
I've been out here for, you know, like, yeah, the summer kicks on in end of September. Okay. Done with this?
- [53:37]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm done with it. But I like exerting myself. Yeah. I like hitting the trails. I like doing stuff that makes me just swamp sweat. Love it. But I never call it the Johnny empowerment move. And I know it's stupid. It's the John's being dumb, but he likes it thing. It's the selfish John movement is what it is. But stop with the, like, could we just stop with mommy empowerment? Do I have to constantly remind you it's not that big a deal? Like, look at Africa. Babies just fall out of those people. They're not even in hospitals, and they pick them up and they put them in baskets and they get back to work. It's like, I'm not saying that's the goal or they're better. It's just not that good for you, you know, Maryvale moms don't have mommy empowerment. They gotta go to work. They gotta get up and put their kid into preschool and, like, a daycare and go to work. The only people who have mommy empowerment movements are rich. No. Poor moms are gathering together and, you know, the worst is called a get together. Well, no, they're just like. Usually it's like, all right, which one of your kids did this? That's usually a mommy empowerment move in Maryvale to try to find the kid who's painting on stuff or whatever from.
- [54:51]
Brett Vesely
When the talons are screwing up or something.
- [54:53]
John Holmberg
You're not going over to Maryvale and finding five moms with Monday off, and they're gonna have an empowerment march up Camelback to see how strong they actually are. Nope, not happening. Not a thing. That is a Paradise Valley Arcadia Gilbert annoyance mommy empowerment group. Please go to South Phoenix. And how many of them go, we're all taking the day off for mommy empowerment. Nope. It's easy. They love being moms. The mommy empowerment lives in their house with them and then didn't have the nerve to still call it success is hilarious. It was just a miscalculation. One of your friends is almost dead. Well, she did real good, though. And that's the danger of Amelia Earhart.
- [55:42]
Brett Vesely
We should hire them in our sales department. That lady would be a great spokesperson.
- [55:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah, she can spend some. Oh, yeah, she should work for a politician. It's like, no, no, no.
- [55:52]
Brady
This is.
- [55:53]
John Holmberg
This. This went really well. I believe your client is like. You're like, he' he's on rape charges, but he didn't do it. He did. It was a miscalculation. Like, he really. He thought no meant keep going. He thought she was saying, go, go. Please go. He just misunderstood her.
- [56:09]
Brett Vesely
We look at it as a success.
- [56:11]
John Holmberg
We thought it was great. Cause, you know, he stopped even though he thought she. She was saying go. Anyway, I gotta go. This is a mommy empowerment meeting. Mommy empowerment. You know whose fault this is deep down? The husbands. The husbands. No, no. Going the other way, Brad.
- [56:26]
Brady
What?
- [56:27]
John Holmberg
What? You go home and you're like, she's so bored. She's got. Mommy empowerment marches in soon. Yeah. She got too much time on her hands. You got to get. You got to give her a chore. Somebody's got to get this lady doing something. And it's summer.
- [56:42]
Brett Vesely
Where were your kids?
- [56:46]
Brady
She might drop them off with the nanny.
- [56:49]
John Holmberg
All right, now Brett's stalking Holly box. What? Yeah.
- [56:52]
Brett Vesely
That's better than mommy power broad. Look at this.
- [56:54]
John Holmberg
Oh, man. Yeah, Holly is. She's short, too. I saw her at a son's game. Ian Schwartz has yet to introduce us to Holly Bok again. Her mother was a beautiful model, and her dad was like an ocelot or a predatory cat because she's got these, like, feline kind of features. It's very interesting, the Bach. She likes country music, though, so.
- [57:19]
Brett Vesely
Well, she's obviously hot. So, I mean, you know, I'm a big fan, too.
- [57:23]
John Holmberg
Are you? Is she not enough tolerate country music? I have a line I draw. Is she hot enough for country music? Maybe a song, but I think I'd have to dump that.
- [57:40]
Brady
I can't take it.
- [57:41]
John Holmberg
That's a deal breaker. I don't know that. I don't know that there's hot enough to like country.
- [57:47]
Brady
Yeah, because, you know, if she likes that means she's going to a lot.
- [57:49]
John Holmberg
Of times going to shows, and it's going to be playing by the pool a lot. You're going to be listening to it in the car. I don't know if there's hot enough to tolerate country music. I don't think so.
- [58:00]
Brady
I wouldn't see that. I. I wouldn't have guessed that her. Yeah.
- [58:04]
John Holmberg
Hot enough to like. Like a night and fake it? Maybe. I don't think I could.
- [58:09]
Brett Vesely
Oh, come on. You can.
- [58:10]
John Holmberg
I don't know country music. I. I wear that on my sleeve. I'm not. Yeah. I'm not that good an actor. What if, like, she's.
- [58:17]
Brady
You are.
- [58:18]
John Holmberg
I'm pretty good, Brady. I appreciate that.
- [58:20]
Brady
I appreciate the prop do a night.
- [58:22]
John Holmberg
But I'll tell you what if I'm sitting and it's looking good and the Bach and I are rocking. I'm rocking the Bach and she's like, come in. And I'm like, okay. And we go into her house and she goes, let me set the mood. I don't know if I can get erection. If this is what she likes to listen to in the throws of passion. I can take like, gunna. You gonna break out some. Gunna do some. Some rap. Some. That doesn't bother me. This. This thumbs my dick down. I don't know if there's Dua Lipa. Like country music so much, I'd be. I don't think. I don't think you can be hot enough to like country music in my world. Says, this is a man's opinion of the mommy march. And again, ladies, I hope you're all okay, but don't call this a success on the news. You weren't empowered. You were. What's the opposite of empowered? Weakened. Right? Failure. Okay, well, that's what it was. I go with weakened empowered to weakened. I don't know if that's the failure. Also applies if you were. If the goal of your empowerment movement was to make it to the top of Camelback without rescue on a hot day, fail, then Brett's right. Right. So you weren't empowered. You were energized.
- [59:50]
Brett Vesely
You failed.
- [59:51]
John Holmberg
But you. You failed. This guy says, and Brett, you. I blame you for this. What.
- [59:57]
Brett Vesely
What did I do?
- [59:58]
John Holmberg
You have had an influence on the resurgence, at least with the KUPD audience of the word broad. I get a lot of emails. These broads. Like, you've opened the door for a lot of guys who like that. This. This one's from Rusty. I'm not so sure. A guy named Rusty hasn't been using the word broad. I think these broads just wanted to get rescued by firefighters so they could have a hot, frosty heat dream. Break out a hot, frosty firefighter. That's right. It's all about just meeting a firefighter in the middle of the day while your husband's at work. So then they didn't make the fire department send all female firefighters. What a surprise. When it gets real, even they know who gets stuff done. This is. This. You know what it's turned into a male empowerment movement. Now a bunch of chauvinists are.
- [60:49]
Brett Vesely
It's a success.
- [60:53]
John Holmberg
And this is a very old argument from Williams. Go home, sit on the couch, ladies. Watch the view and eat your bon bons. Bonbons still a thing that used to be a big comment about coming back in the 80s when sitting at home eating bon bons. I might fall down camelback mountain for if Holly Bach was there with the big wheel up there, she's not. A bunch of firefighters gonna be there to make fun of me. And then firefighters leaning over. John, what were you thinking marching around like this? Give us a John. Empowerment man did really well. All right, get on the big wheel. We're gonna tote. You know that lady that got spun to death by the helicopter a few years ago? I never heard any of her family saying it was an elderly woman empowerment march. I hope everybody's all right. I hope that lady got cooled off. I hope her body's all right. I hope everybody goes home, and I hope everyone goes home with a lesson learned. You need a hobby or a job or some sort of a charitable thing to do with your days. Is this your bored postinos?
- [61:50]
Brady
Maybe ask. Ask the director to step aside or step down.
- [61:54]
John Holmberg
Somebody's got to lose a job or a position in this. Brett's right about the postinos. That's where this idea was born. It was either ingos for lunch or postinos across the street over on Campbell and 40th street where they sat and said, you know what we should do? Cause we're all mamas. Is drop the kiddos off somewhere and then hike a mountain in the hottest day of the year. I took Josh Blue. I think it's today's the anniversary of it. I took Josh Blue cause he was gonna climb Mount Everest or K2 or something. And he's got cerebral palsy, something like that. One of them. Multiple sclerosis. He's got one of those deals. Anyway, we hiked up in June, and it took three and a half hours. And we never once called it a success. And we made it. Like, I. I think I made his disease worse because he said he could hike that mountain. And then you know how he learned he's not going to hike K2. He fell down a flight of stairs a couple of weeks later and broke his tailbone. You can't do that kind of stuff. Well, I told him, I'm like, if you can hike that mountain, I believe you can hike K2. It's just so bad to sit and scream that you're empowered. And while you're being rescued, I don't. It's not. It's not to stop it. Also, prepare yourselves for a weird weekend because Trump's birthday Saturday, they've got like a 1800 protests planned across the country. And Donald is having a military parade, which we haven't had in a long time.
- [63:31]
Brett Vesely
250Th anniversary of the Army. Yeah, that's the big parade.
- [63:35]
John Holmberg
Are we gonna. Are we. Are we rolling out rockets and bombs and stuff?
- [63:40]
Brady
Hope so.
- [63:41]
John Holmberg
Oh, man. As a boy, I understand how awesome that is. As a grown man, I'm like, oh, this kind of might be.
- [63:50]
Brady
Have we ever had.
- [63:51]
John Holmberg
I don't remember in my lifetime. I don't think I've ever seen military march. Actually. They're not, like. Not to this scale where we do bombs.
- [64:00]
Brady
I always see highlights of Russia and China and.
- [64:04]
John Holmberg
Dude, coolest thing I've ever seen. Closest to that was in Coronado on the 4th of July. They had a parade. And I'm like, parade's fun. This is cute. And Shriners. And then dudes popping out of cars and riding in little tiny motorcycles. Then a tank. And then this thing goes by, this flatbed with this giant. I don't know what it was. I don't know if it was, like, transportation or if it was a missile of death, but it was on the back of a flatbed and it went down that road and it turned around and went back up because that's how Coronado's main street is. And I walk behind that, like, what am I looking at? And then dude's marching and then planes went over and it was Coronado's Fourth of July thing, and it was just two. It wasn't like all of it. But that was the day I'm like, I think I would love one of those missile military parades more than anybody because I'm deep down inside, I'm Peter Pan. I'm just a boy a grown man recognizes. Oh, this is going to make a lot of people mad. And is it worth it? But we're having that Saturday. I'm gonna watch. I think that's. I think it's awesome. I love that kind of stuff because as a little kid, you know, I just wanted to play with tanks and trucks and. And to see the big boy versions.
- [65:18]
Brady
Oh, you rarely get to see our military do stuff.
- [65:22]
John Holmberg
Are they gonna do that, like, weird march and then, like, look at the president and salute?
- [65:25]
Brady
Well, they stop, like, in the Macy's Day in the main grandstand and do.
- [65:29]
John Holmberg
Do songs, toss guns. Oh, no. Oh, you mean, like. Yeah, I thought they were gonna do, like, a Broadway show.
- [65:35]
Brady
They might do another.
- [65:35]
John Holmberg
Something from Wicked or Good Night, Good Luck. Maybe just a scene from the Clooney one. I don't know. But I'm core, dude, I'm all for it, but I don't know, is it. It's a little weird to me. Like if Trump on his. It's. It's very Kim Jong Un to stand up there on your birthday and have the military march by and salute you. Like, that's very Kim Jong Un. I'm not a fan of that. I'm a grown up. So deep down I understand that as a little boy that lives inside me, I really want to see it. Not necessarily the praise part, but those missiles going down the road. Oh man, that's cool.
- [66:12]
Brady
It's got two sides, stuff we've never seen before.
- [66:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah, like nukes. See, that's the 10 year old. Like if nukes go rolling down the street, I'm like, oh, this is incredible. And then when they all salute the president, like it was a little overboard. Both things are real. Both things can be true at once. I can want one and understand the other. That's my John Empowerment movement.
- [66:33]
Brady
Brett, can you imagine? There's a couple just stocked out, RVs.
- [66:38]
Brett Vesely
Going by the EMC projects, the EM50s rolling through.
- [66:43]
John Holmberg
Those are under disguise. It's just like the RV show at the stadium. Better have all the missiles sticking out and the guns and the turret and I'm a fan of that stuff. I'm a fan of looking at that stuff. I'm not a fan of the. It's my birthday now. Like I. It's bad enough that every year we do a birthday party for me that I throw for myself and then I sing just to raise money for the Humane Society. That's the fun part. But it is just to get drunk and goof around. Who throws a birthday party for themselves? Well, if I had the military, I might do it. If we were marching the military up and down the 51 and I got to stand on top of one of those walls and they'd stop and say hi to me. It might do that if I had that juice, but it's dangerous. But again, the 10 year old inside of me is like, I want to watch those missiles go up and down that road so bad. I don't know. I see both sides, so don't argue with me. And. And then I did see the. It's a sad story sort of. In a weird way, I feel bad for ice Cream men in Phoenix because you think like you had a dream to live here and like you're gonna sell more ice cream than anywhere else. It's actually the opposite. Ice cream men do terrible here because kids don't Go outside at all in the summer. They're in their backyards or they're not playing outside. So ice cream man on the hottest days just have nothing to do all through the whole summer. And sometimes they'll still brave out. Yesterday story in Queen Creek. And there's two sides that I didn't really understand on this, but a little boy sat outside when his parents cleaned the house. He sits outside and he's autistic. And he has no concept of how money works. And it made the news and everything that he, the ice cream man went by and he'd never seen that before. He didn't know what an ice cream truck was, which to me is tragic for a childhood. If you don't know what an ice cream man is, you're not living a full childhood. And you grew up here. Did you have one?
- [68:40]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, you remember the. And on top of that, there used to be one that parked across street from Rhodes every day.
- [68:44]
John Holmberg
That was the other thing.
- [68:45]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [68:46]
John Holmberg
Like, yeah, they were. They. They didn't drive around.
- [68:48]
Brett Vesely
Right.
- [68:49]
John Holmberg
Like we didn't have ice cream in. That would wake you. Like you were from Ohio. It was a noise that I had.
- [68:53]
Brady
To go to another neighborhood.
- [68:54]
John Holmberg
You had to run to.
- [68:55]
Brady
They weren't allowed.
- [68:56]
John Holmberg
Oh, really?
- [68:57]
Brett Vesely
Gated community.
- [68:58]
John Holmberg
Too hoity toity for ice cream men. Evidently they're a little too rapey for your special. Like they thought you were ahead of the curve. And all your parents thought your. You guys were all abductables. The abductibles, by the way. Delicious lunch. The abductibles.
- [69:10]
Brady
Probably, I don't know, second or third grade. I'm over, you know, after school at a buddy's house and he lives in Grandview.
- [69:18]
John Holmberg
Some hillbilly. What is that? You didn't know? It's the greatest feeling in the world, though. And the music goes by and all the other kids are like. And everything stops and you start chasing it down. Arizona kids don't have that experience. You'll hear an ice cream man, but.
- [69:33]
Brady
We have one in our hood.
- [69:34]
John Holmberg
They drive around, but they don't excite kids. There's no, like, build up. Like there's no core memory. Amazing euphoric feeling. Like there was when the ice cream man. Because it was pretty much every few days and a lot of the day.
- [69:49]
Brady
That they carried you couldn't really get in the store. A lot of times it wouldn't offer.
- [69:53]
John Holmberg
Look Bomb pops. Mom never got those because they'd melt in the car. Here in Phoenix, you're not. You're not Popsicle Heavy. Because it's hard to go from the Safeway to the car to the house without just a puddle in your backseat. It's like they melt so fast, it's not a thing. So we're not that. We had Mr. Lee in Tempe. Super Asian dude who had the hottest daughter ever, Jennifer Lee. And she would, for some reason, lay in the front yard in her blue bikini. She never laid in the backyard. And we'd bang on his door. I never saw that ice cream truck leave his front door. Like, we would just knock on the door and ask for Pepsi. That was his bang on the door. What do you want? Well, I mean, you got an ice cream truck parked in front of your house. It's a kid magnet. Oh, God damn it. Hold on. And he'd walk all the way around, open the garage. What do you want? Pepsi's 50 cent. You give him 50 cents. Well, you come back, more Pepsi. You want two Pepsi, you can do it. Now. I know. Coming back, like, all right, two then. Okay, 50 cent. Give him 50 cents. Give a dollar, you got two Pepsis. One of them's gonna get hot before it was over. And he didn't get mad, because if he didn't want ice cream, he'd lose money. Evidently, on the Pepsis, it's a loss leader. Yeah, it was like, I get you Pepsi, but you gotta buy ice cream, too. He's killing you. On the ice cream. Like Bomb Pop and one of those banana and chocolate ones. And then we would give it to Jennifer's daughter and watch her eat. Was awesome. She was porn Asian, and she might have been, like, 16. We were 13 or 12. We just thought of. Hey, Jennifer, is your dad home? Yeah, but he's not happy. When is he? He's an ice cream man in Arizona. Anyway, this one in Queen Creek, they've got the autistic kid outside. And then he runs out. The ice cream man goes by. He's like, I don't even know what this is. And he runs to it, and he's like, I want this and that. And he sees all these things, and his dad grabs the thing. I don't even know how it happened. And then the ice cream man just goes, it's free. And gives it to him. And I'm like, oh, that's nice. Cause, you know, he made no money yesterday selling ice cream. The worst thing you can do in 109 degrees, ask the mommy empowerment group. The second worst thing you can do in 109 degrees is have a handful of Popsicle or ice cream outside. It's not gonna be a two minute window. You gotta deep throat that thing and gag on it and pull it off the stick. Cause it's brain freeze. Yeah, there's nothing about ice cream outside right now. Even it's too soon. So ice cream man, I feel for you. And then this kid goes out there and then the one customer he gets it doesn't have a concept of money. Is an adorable autistic from love on the spectrum. And then his parents call the news.
- [72:33]
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- [73:31]
John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness and so now it's like everybody's going to pretend to be special when they hit this ice cream and clean creek because that's how you get free ice cream.
- [73:42]
Brady
Get a choco taco.
- [73:43]
Brett Vesely
Oh, Brady's going to Queen Creek today.
- [73:46]
John Holmberg
Every time I hear taco taco, I get a little choppy. That was a again. For those of you who don't know, a girl was so dumb once that she said if I'd never had a choco taco. And she said, if you don't like a choco taco, I'll blow you in the car. Well, she didn't realize that I'm a pretty good actor. Choco tacos are delicious, but I played it off like I was eating mushrooms out of the backyard. What is this? Oh, you really don't like it. No, it's gross. Who eats this Choco Taco? I'll try another bite. Oh, God, that's delicious. This is gross. I guess I owe you one. Yep. Yeah, I just sat back, put my hands behind my head and got a Choco Taco. Bj, Walgreens, almost school and baseline. They used to have that when you leave. Choco Tacos. That was the Bryan Adams girl.
- [74:40]
Brett Vesely
Oh, okay.
- [74:41]
John Holmberg
That was one of the dumbest moments in human history. If you don't like it, I'll blow you. All right, let's put this to the test. That could have been a 10 ounce filet mignon cooked perfectly rare. And I'd have been like, something's wrong with it. Anyway. To the ice cream men of Arizona. You thought it was a good idea. It's the worst place in the world to be an ice cream man by far. Yeah. And the autistic kid was like in his early 20s or something. He'll never get past, like the age of eight. So he hits the thing. It's like, man, his childhood ice cream man is such a great thing. Phoenix needs something like that and we don't have it because nobody wants one when it's nice outside. You don't want a popsicle when it's like 80. And that's the only time ice cream men go by. You need to be like, in Chicago and. Yeah. And all the ice cream. And I know, like, you parked. They were too lazy to drive around because they know kids aren't outside. They used to be predators. They would go find where the kids were being released from something and parked. Yeah.
- [75:38]
Brett Vesely
Right there in Longmore. I remember right across baseline.
- [75:40]
John Holmberg
I remember that dude. Yeah. And he wasn't nice either. Like, no ice cream men in Arizona are ever, like, kind. They're all mad because they've made a terrible mistake. It was the original food truck.
- [75:52]
Brett Vesely
Mad or chomos.
- [75:53]
John Holmberg
Well, definitely that. Yeah. If they're too happy, they're. They're grooming. And that's a sad state of affairs too. Ice cream men with that little. If you. If Brady just suddenly quit his job to be an ice cream man and be like, oh, boy, killing it. He loves kids. It would just be out of the blue. Hang on, boy. He wants to be with the children.
- [76:14]
Brett Vesely
Don't get high off your own supply, though. Remember, that's.
- [76:16]
John Holmberg
That's the key. Brady couldn't be a very good.
- [76:18]
Brett Vesely
That's what I'm saying.
- [76:22]
John Holmberg
You know what we should do is park an ice cream truck over there. At that camelback mountain for those mommy empowerment groups and get them some bomb pops and some stars and stripes. So when they're climbing, they've got, you know, some sustenance on the way up. Give them a little sugar rush.
- [76:34]
Brett Vesely
Or a postino's pop up over there, right in the parking lot.
- [76:38]
John Holmberg
A postin. Postino's pop up at camelback. Oh, my. Brett, that's the best business plan ever. Ever. We need.
- [76:48]
Brady
They thought about it. They wouldn't let it inside the area. You gotta go down the road.
- [76:53]
John Holmberg
Why?
- [76:54]
Brady
Couple blocks.
- [76:55]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, but that's what a pop up would be. They put the pop up in the parking lot and the ladies can go and post dinos back and forth. They'd be in great shape. They'd get a quarter way up the mountain, go, you know what? I'm gonna go back and get some more bruschetta. And they'd go back and get a pop up bruschetta like, okay, we'll hike now. They go up and down the mountain six or seven times that day. And you know what we give them is free wine every time they come back. So, like, you take a picture of yourself on top of the mountain, you get a free bottle of wine. Oh, my God. They'd be up and down that mountain 20 times. That mommy empowerment group would be on.
- [77:27]
Brett Vesely
Fire, in shape at that point.
- [77:28]
John Holmberg
I'd like to put it out there that postinos has like a. Like a guy who looks like a server. He's more just like a. It's almost like the way marshals are on planes. He just walks around and listens for women coming up with dumb plans and puts a stop to it. Like, say we call it like a firefighter.
- [77:45]
Brady
A monitor.
- [77:45]
John Holmberg
Yeah, firefighter under. He's in dis. Yeah, but he's in disguise as a waiter, and he walks around and he just listens to conversations. And the second he hears we should really try it, it would empower us. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna save some firefighters lives. You guys are drunk. It was a bad idea. We were gonna hike camelback mountain tomorrow. It's June. You're not doing any of that. Get a job.
- [78:04]
Brett Vesely
So it's like the tsa air marshals that fly with you everywhere, they just.
- [78:07]
Brady
Get posted up on the entrance rules.
- [78:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah. If we hear you talking about an empowering thing in june, we're putting a stop to it. Postinas is going to cut you off. What do you mean? We don't want men coming to save you. All Right. All right. We're going to cancel your phone.
- [78:25]
Brett Vesely
We're holding you to that.
- [78:25]
John Holmberg
We're holding you to that. If you guys get stuck and it's nowhere on the websites anymore.
- [78:33]
Brett Vesely
No, that was scrubbed.
- [78:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they scrubbed it. Because you can't have 40 men rescue four women from their empowerment march and still have the lady barking about how great it went. Postinos, you're to blame here. A little too much. You've added too much gumption to last year's cabernet. This one's got me thinking. Maybe tomorrow. Yeah, because it was a Sunday evening just. Just taking a little edge off on a Sunday with the girls. And then they got the idea to march tomorrow. Monday afternoon. They're on the mountain.
- [79:09]
Brady
The girl they interviewed could have been, like, the leader. And she was kind of on the outside because one of the girls met her because she can read minds or she can read your body. And she's like, okay, I'm gonna start this group. And then they all paid $200 to be a part of the group.
- [79:24]
John Holmberg
So you're saying that one of them is corn. I like that. It's a mind reader that thought it was a good idea to get out in the sun. The mind reader said we should hike. She's a mind reader. Of course we should hike.
- [79:40]
Brady
Debbie, your aura is really red right now.
- [79:42]
John Holmberg
You know what you need is a lot of vitamin D. Like, hours and hours of it. They all have a mind reader friend at Postinos. She's a psychic, an empath. She's a mind reader. Why do you hang out with that one? Which one? The one that changed her name to Victoria. I think her name used to be Stacy, but now she's like some wizard, and she's got a gift. All right. You gonna look for a job tomorrow? No, we're gonna hike Camelback Mountain. And, you know, her husband's probably, like, good. Yeah, you should do that.
- [80:15]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [80:15]
John Holmberg
Drop a few LBs. Beyond that, maybe you can get out of this mix. Oh, what a tragedy.
- [80:22]
Brady
The ones you made it to the top of. Camelback.
- [80:24]
John Holmberg
It's an insurance policy. If your husband's trying to encourage you to hike Camelback mountain because it'll make you more powerful. In June, he wants out. You should probably hit the mountain in the middle of the day because since you don't have a job and all. What are you talking about? Just get up on the mountain, knock it down. Maybe you'll burn up. I mean, maybe you'll have a good time. That's a great idea. You Know me and my friends could do it. You should talk to them about it at Postino's. There's no monitors. Here's your bruschetta and your reds. I heard you ladies talking about maybe hiking Hawes Trail today. That's a terrible idea. None of you are in that great a shape. And it's 110 out, so I'm gonna go ahead and chain you to the Postino's floor.
- [81:03]
Brady
Could be amazing. We get to the top, we get a free reading, and then we'll just.
- [81:09]
John Holmberg
Oh, my God, it'll be so empowering. We're gonna get so much accomplished at our not chops PV wives. You're hilarious. You make me giggle. Arcadia. It's four ladies with nothing to do on a Monday, and they almost died. Yeah, lock them in the house. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?
- [81:31]
Brett Vesely
Wake Up Song.
- [81:33]
John Holmberg
Oh, boy. I heard the printer going.
- [81:36]
Brett Vesely
Wake Up Song. Brought to you by our buddies over at Action Ride Shop. And, well, you need to ride when it's a little bit cooler out. Don't be in the mommy empowerment group and jump on the bike. So now's the time to get that thing serviced or possibly pick up a brand new one over there. They got the full line of pivot, Rocky Mountain. You name it, they got it. Or they can get it for you. And best wrenches in town right there at action ride shop. Two locations right there on Power Road and McDowell, as well as the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern.
- [82:02]
John Holmberg
David Vasquez is a dick. Can you imagine the stress put on those yoga pants those Chunky Mommy empowerment broads had? If those pants could talk, they'd have definitely tried to talk those ladies out of this horrible decision. And I'm not talking about the mountain. I'm talking about wearing yoga pants. Climb all you want, but do it in some loose fitting sweats. Yeah, nobody needs to see that. I don't know if they were chunky or not. I hope they're all okay. I just know somebody needs to talk some sense into them, and I think it's the job of the husband. Unless they want him dead.
- [82:37]
Brett Vesely
Jabba.
- [82:38]
John Holmberg
Huh? Not Jabba. It's Jabba of the husband. Jabba the husband. Look, if your husband's all right with you hiking on a Monday and you haven't done it, he won't check him out. I watch a lot of Dateline. That's something. He's like. He's getting away with it.
- [82:54]
Brett Vesely
Check your policy.
- [82:56]
John Holmberg
I think you guys should all go up there in fact, I'll drop you off.
- [83:00]
Brady
All right.
- [83:00]
Brett Vesely
On the list, Parkway Drive, Queens. Reich Revolution calling for everything going on Dire Straits Money for nothing For John and his Covid backings All that Megadeth, Metallica and Justice for all Angry again for all the revolution the revolution stuff going on Los Angeles is burning from bad religion Pink Floyd money for John Fairies wear boots Sabbath, three days grace Disturbed the meaning of life Rival sons, Manson and body count. Institutional license is National Ice Tea Day.
- [83:32]
John Holmberg
It's ice tea day. We gotta do body count, then ice tea is in it. Well, that has to happen. Institutionalized. Huh? Huh? That's the one we're going with. All right. I like that.
- [83:45]
Brett Vesely
Do we have it in there?
- [83:46]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's right here.
- [83:47]
Brett Vesely
Okay, cool.
- [83:47]
John Holmberg
Institutionalized is the suicidal tendencies. Wait a minute. Not that one. No, it's body count. Yeah, that's the wrong one.
- [83:55]
Brady
A poll found 8% of Americans.
- [83:57]
John Holmberg
You probably have to get it.
- [83:58]
Brady
Have never tried iced tea.
- [84:00]
John Holmberg
8% have never tried iced tea.
- [84:04]
Brady
Yeah.
- [84:05]
John Holmberg
How? The only thing bad about iced tea is when you think it's something else else. Like when you think you're sipping on a Diet Coke and it's iced tea, or vice versa. The expectation of Coke on your tongue, when it's actually tea, it's like you. Like you're licking a pig's butt. It's the worst taste ever. And then you're like, oh, now it's good, because I know it's iced tea. I love iced tea. Just a pain in the ass for home. Either do the Lipton stuff, which is just a sugar bomb. You got that weird thing sitting out on your picnic tank.
- [84:39]
Brady
Ronnie does that. Santi.
- [84:40]
John Holmberg
It's good, but it's a pain in the ass. And sometimes it's not right. It just tastes like muck water. Anyway, you got it.
- [84:48]
Brett Vesely
Pull the lyrics up because there's some Fs in there.
- [84:50]
John Holmberg
Oh, for crying out loud. Right off the bat.
- [84:53]
Brett Vesely
Not right off the bat, but all right. Just getting you ready. Getting those ninja fingers in.
- [84:59]
John Holmberg
I got it. Just like Climbing the Mountain lyrics.
- [85:03]
Brett Vesely
Body Count version.
- [85:04]
John Holmberg
Body count 2014 version. Yes. Okay. Okay, I can do this.
- [85:11]
Brett Vesely
Those fingers ready?
- [85:12]
John Holmberg
I got it all ready to go. It's institutionalized. Happy iced tea day. It's out of control now. 98. KUPD, Holmberg's morning sleeper. His morning sickness. 98.
- [85:30]
Brady
Can you repeat?
- [85:34]
John Holmberg
Hey, we're back. No, it's horrifying in here. I've got that covet that I've been paid to have. Sorry that sneeze attack took Me. This might be a minute.
- [85:45]
Brett Vesely
How much you make on that Covet thing?
- [85:47]
John Holmberg
Oh, making a fortune. You know, the COVID people came to me, so we'll pay if you mention us. I'm like, all right, I'll do it. You know, the big Covid. People wander door to door.
- [85:58]
Brett Vesely
They're still around.
- [85:59]
John Holmberg
Yeah. They'll knock on the door. And you know what's crazy is sometimes they'll ask somebody like, will you take money for talking about COVID And I'm like, no. And then we never mentioned that either.
- [86:10]
Brady
Bless you.
- [86:11]
John Holmberg
There we go. Giving it to the whole city. I'm in the midst of an attack.
- [86:19]
Brady
We're doomed.
- [86:20]
Brett Vesely
Super spreader.
- [86:21]
John Holmberg
I am a super spreader. Through your speakers. This is crazy. Hold on. Good Christ.
- [86:28]
Brady
It's all that Mucinex.
- [86:29]
John Holmberg
Oh, I can't get enough of that stuff. I'm gonna start doing shots of Mucinex. That. It feels great. Brett saw me in the hall. I was wandering on. Did a stretch, was walking like Thriller, and I was like, whoa. Jesus. It was kind of wobbly. Mucinex gets me. Anywho, it's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by All Pro Shade Concept. Arizona's best patio shades. We've been telling you about All Pro Shade for a while, and if you haven't gotten on board, well, it's not too late. There's. It's gonna miss a couple days gonna have. It'll make you appreciate it more. Like today, you'll be out there in the 109 degrees going, I wish I had Shade. Then All Pro Shade will show up and give you shade. You'll be like, should have done this a long time ago. Homebird show was right. You go to allprochade.com and check out all. They've got free installation on every product. Product free estimates. They'll come out, you point at the area you want it, and they'll say, all right, here's what we got to do. They're the best in the business for a reason. All pro shade.com Brady reported.
- [87:29]
Brady
Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.
- [87:30]
John Holmberg
Hello, world. Hi.
- [87:33]
Brady
We know it's Happy National Iced Tea Day. It's also National Egg Roll Day.
- [87:38]
John Holmberg
Oh, iced tea and egg rolls. That's. Oh, and Super Nintendo Shelly Boggs text over and said 8% of people haven't had iced tea. That was your stat.
- [87:47]
Brady
That didn't like.
- [87:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I've never tried it. Right.
- [87:49]
Brady
That's right.
- [87:49]
John Holmberg
Mormons they don't have it. They won't. They don't drink the tea because that's start as hot. I don't know if iced tea counts.
- [87:58]
Brady
But I think a bunch of backed off on soda.
- [88:01]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I think they're allowed to suck down caffeine again because they don't feel a thing.
- [88:06]
Dick Toledo
No caffeine.
- [88:08]
John Holmberg
They're still not on caffeine, right?
- [88:09]
Dick Toledo
No caffeine. All the little Mormon soda shops you.
- [88:12]
John Holmberg
See, they're all caffeine free, right? Yeah. Well, that's what my coke zeros are. Caffeine free. I think maybe. No, no. The caffeine free ones are. I've got a box at home that are caffeine free. The box is very.
- [88:22]
Brett Vesely
Throw those away.
- [88:22]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [88:23]
Brett Vesely
Caffeine free.
- [88:24]
John Holmberg
I don't care. I just like the bubbles.
- [88:27]
Brady
Couple of baseless fun facts. Weird Al Yankovic has one top 10 single, and it's not Amish paradise, which peaked at number 53. It's white and nerdy, which climbed to number nine in 2006. It parodies the song Riding by Chameleonaire and Crazy Bone.
- [88:52]
John Holmberg
Okay.
- [88:54]
Brady
Weird Al's next highest charting song was Eat got to number 12 in 1980.
- [88:59]
John Holmberg
That would have been the one I guessed.
- [89:01]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [89:01]
John Holmberg
Eat. It would have been the one I.
- [89:03]
Brett Vesely
About fat too. Didn't he do that for Michael Jackson too?
- [89:08]
John Holmberg
I think. Yeah. Fat had to be up there too. I thought I lost some jeopardy and all that.
- [89:11]
Brady
One evidently not higher than number nine.
- [89:13]
Brett Vesely
Oh, wow.
- [89:14]
John Holmberg
And Rick Derringer, who just died, evidently, was Weird Al's producer for, like, his first few albums. And Rick Derringer was the guy who had the hell's the name of that song. A rock and roll hoochie coup. Remember Real American? A Real American. The Paul Hogan thing. But I didn't know that. And Weird Al was. When Rick Derringer died a few weeks ago, was like, this is the guy who changed everything. Like we. We work together almost exclusively right off the bat. Crazy.
- [89:40]
Brady
I just saw today the guy that did the original Don McLean that did American Pie.
- [89:45]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [89:45]
Brady
Says Weird Al's parody is better than my original.
- [89:49]
John Holmberg
It's incredible. The one that he did for Star Wars.
- [89:53]
Brady
Yeah.
- [89:54]
John Holmberg
Do you know why it's so great? He hadn't seen the movie. He wrote that based on what he was told about what was coming. And it was about the new Star wars that came out like 2000 or Whenever. It's incredible.
- [90:07]
Brady
For almost 60 years, the Beatles were the only artist to ever have five songs in the top five spots on the Billboard chart. Simultaneously on April 4, 1964. The top five were. Can't buy me love, twist and shout, she loves you, I want to hold your hand and please please me. But thanks to the chart changes and streaming, it's happened four times in the last four years. Kendrick Lamar, Drake and Taylor Swift. Twice.
- [90:40]
John Holmberg
Brace yourselves. Oh.
- [90:43]
Brady
Elephants grow six different sets of teeth in their lives. Once the six ones fall out, they die of starvation.
- [90:52]
John Holmberg
Really? Yep. I gave it to him.
- [91:01]
Brady
Get the Lysol. I knew it was coming.
- [91:06]
John Holmberg
You didn't hear me say it's creeping over here. Brace yourself.
- [91:09]
Dick Toledo
But I wasn't sure what was coming.
- [91:11]
Brady
Lethal today.
- [91:12]
John Holmberg
It's Pedialyte. He was a little shy earlier with the Lysolyte.
- [91:21]
Brady
There he goes.
- [91:22]
John Holmberg
And Pedialyte makes me gassy normally. Yeah, it's a bad one.
- [91:26]
Dick Toledo
Oh, there it is.
- [91:28]
John Holmberg
I gassed it up. I. I love doing that to Brady. I. Most of the time. And this is not bragging. My farts don't smell. I get away with it at least twice a day in this room. You guys don't even know. Today there is something special inside me. And it's a good moment.
- [91:48]
Dick Toledo
Tinkles Brady's.
- [91:54]
Brady
America has laws against animal abuse.
- [91:56]
John Holmberg
That was especially bad before.
- [91:58]
Brady
There were laws against child abuse.
- [92:01]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they kept kids working until 19, 20 something. They didn't care about kids. And animal abuse was different back in the day compared to what it is now like, and it's good. I'm glad both child abuse and animal abuse are wrong. Yep, you heard me. Thank you. I'm running for president on those platforms. What a. What a stance I've taken. But now that they make like what used to be considered animal abuse back in the day, you had to go pretty far to get somebody's attention. They'd kill animals like crazy or let them live outside and fend for themselves. And that ain't happening anymore. Kids are the same.
- [92:40]
Brady
According to a new report, the average American only gets a nine and a half hours to themselves every month.
- [92:46]
John Holmberg
Month.
- [92:48]
Brady
Which breaks down about 20 minutes a day.
- [92:51]
John Holmberg
Just alone. Yeah, just time by yourself.
- [92:57]
Brady
Two hours and 20 minutes a week.
- [93:00]
John Holmberg
That's not enough. Most of that's probably in the car between people.
- [93:08]
Brady
You know, there's a new poll out on navigation skills and only 16% of people are confident they're excellent navigators without turn by turn GPS directions.
- [93:21]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, that's the broads on Camelback.
- [93:23]
John Holmberg
Well, they didn't get lost. They just got tired and laid down, lost their brain. So he just attacks the word broads. It's you. You're. I swear my emails are loaded with broads. Broads, broads.
- [93:38]
Brett Vesely
Taking it back.
- [93:40]
Brady
72% of people claim they're very good at reading physical or digital maps. 68 said their. Their sense of direction is very good.
- [93:54]
John Holmberg
No, I'm pretty good about knowing where I am. I get a little bit confused sometimes. Up in North Scottsdale, I found that, like, I don't know where I am. When I get around, I'm never up there. So for the most part, part. Arizona, we're a grid. It's pretty simple city to figure out. All right, we got to get our word out, right? Yep. I don't even know Lysol. I don't even know how Brady.
- [94:16]
Brady
Good one.
- [94:20]
John Holmberg
He's such a baby. He farts and he eats it. He sits and giggles and anybody else farts and it's like, oh my God, today's word. And I'm going to give you a second. You're going to put it up now.
- [94:32]
Dick Toledo
Know I'm ready to type it in.
- [94:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I don't know our numbers anymore.
- [94:36]
Dick Toledo
It'll go. It'll go live at 8, but Djibouti. Oh, geez. Okay.
- [94:39]
John Holmberg
Djibouti is today's word.
- [94:42]
Brady
We didn't do that one before.
- [94:43]
John Holmberg
Did we do it?
- [94:44]
Brett Vesely
I think we did.
- [94:45]
John Holmberg
Did we do it already?
- [94:45]
Dick Toledo
I thought we did.
- [94:46]
John Holmberg
All right, then Cameroon. Which one didn't? I thought we did. Cameroon. Whichever one we haven't done yet. I'm on Mucinex, man. I don't remember yesterday.
- [94:53]
Brady
Cameroon I think is good. I think we did.
- [94:55]
John Holmberg
Did we do Djibouti. All right, Cameroon it is. Is. Cameroon it is. Are we still doing great in our African numbers or have you looked?
- [95:03]
Dick Toledo
They're.
- [95:03]
John Holmberg
They're. We're slipping.
- [95:05]
Dick Toledo
Precipitous slide, but we're slipping. Sliding a little bit.
- [95:07]
John Holmberg
There's a. The arrows pointing down in Africa right now. And we got to step it up, boys. Start clicking.
- [95:12]
Dick Toledo
One of the Bobs didn't pay a bill.
- [95:15]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they. Well, they only bought a month's worth of fake listeners up there at the Hubbard higher hierarchy. Morning sickness medicate.
- [95:26]
Brady
KU PD Holmberg's morning sickness in Rio Rancho, New Mexico. This 16 year old JV baseball player admitted to peeing in the opposing team's water jug during a game. Dick.
- [95:44]
John Holmberg
During a game.
- [95:46]
Brady
Yep.
- [95:47]
John Holmberg
That's hard to do.
- [95:48]
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
- [95:50]
Brady
He managed to do it and he was in court in the former prosecutor and current state senator basically said he's opposed to what the. The judge ruled. He said he's innocent. Well, he's not guilty because what he did was he didn't assault anyone physically.
- [96:16]
John Holmberg
Right.
- [96:16]
Brady
But the.
- [96:17]
John Holmberg
But he did admit to peeing argument.
- [96:18]
Brady
To that is, well, if I spit in somebody's hamburger, take a bite, that's battery. Doesn't that.
- [96:25]
John Holmberg
Is it. I don't know.
- [96:27]
Brady
According to. New Mexico doesn't have a statute that makes it a criminal for someone to mess with someone else's food or pee in a water bottle.
- [96:39]
John Holmberg
They don't have a rule against that.
- [96:41]
Brady
They don't have in New Mexico. That will be changed.
- [96:45]
John Holmberg
In the meantime, it's going to be a slew of folks peeing in each other's food. It's not against the law at all there.
- [96:53]
Brady
Yeah. The statute is written. The statute is written very broadly to encompass any unlawful touching.
- [97:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [97:03]
Brady
Obviously throwing a rock or spitting on somebody.
- [97:06]
John Holmberg
Right. Physically banging into it. Here's the thing about it, and I don't blame lawmakers. They didn't think they'd ever have to write laws to say don't pee in each other's food. So it's fair to say that New Mexico didn't have a law against it because we shouldn't have to. But I guess we do. It's kind of broadly assumed that if you're pissing in somebody's food, you're a bad person. But we didn't know we'd have to make that against the law. We didn't know you'd argue it down either with a lawyer. All right. It's active.
- [97:35]
Dick Toledo
Oh, yeah.
- [97:36]
John Holmberg
Cameroon 97936. That's what you text. Qualify yourself for the Man Cave upgrade. All the goodies coming from our friends at AZ or Prestige Billiards. Az. You got Twin Peaks, you got Wise Coatings. Get your floor redone. Game day. Men's Health is going to be on this. Thousand dollars for that if you win the whole deal. Today's qualifier gets $50 in gift certificates to Vaughn Hansen's Meat and Spirits. Cameroon. We're sliding a little bit down there in Djibouti and Cameroon, where we were at for a second there. We were second. Remember when the ratings used to come out every month for radio? Yeah. And they used to always weight it based on race.
- [98:17]
Dick Toledo
Oh, yeah. And we did our whole thing over.
- [98:20]
John Holmberg
In the old building, for sure.
- [98:21]
Dick Toledo
Catering to them.
- [98:22]
John Holmberg
Catering to Mexicans who wanted to listen. We had to. But every once in a while, that radio station that was on the reservation would pop up.
- [98:29]
Dick Toledo
Yes.
- [98:30]
John Holmberg
And it would, like, go through the moon. And that's what we were in Africa like we'd show up. There you go. We would hit like second place in Africa because I think they're waiting whitey over in Djibouti. So what you're saying is white listeners are getting more credit to talk industry terms.
- [98:45]
Dick Toledo
We. We lost a meter.
- [98:46]
John Holmberg
We lost a meter and we're falling right? Because in Cameroon, Djibouti, we had a.
- [98:51]
Brett Vesely
They have meters there.
- [98:52]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh yeah, we had a. Well it got stolen probably. We lily white 40 year old dude just putting us through the moon in the ratings in Djibouti and Cameroon.
- [99:00]
Brady
Beeper.
- [99:01]
John Holmberg
Yeah. And maybe it's the same dude and he was just traveling back and forth from Cameroon and Djibouti.
- [99:05]
Dick Toledo
Oh, there you go.
- [99:06]
John Holmberg
Are they close? Close? No.
- [99:08]
Dick Toledo
Okay.
- [99:08]
John Holmberg
Africa's very large. It would be like being in Boston and Salt Lake City. So maybe, maybe he had family in Djibouti and he was weekending in Djibouti and either way we're slow. So Cameroon is today's word. 97936. Good luck.
- [99:25]
Brady
According to research about summer travel says about 82% of Americans plan to travel this summer. Wallet Hub just did a list of the best and worst cities for staycations.
- [99:39]
John Holmberg
Okay.
- [99:40]
Brady
They did it on 180 cities across.
- [99:44]
John Holmberg
Don't read all of them.
- [99:45]
Brady
Not based upon 41 key metrics.
- [99:49]
John Holmberg
Alamogordo should be on that number one. Phoenix.
- [99:53]
Brady
Cincinnati, Ohio.
- [99:54]
John Holmberg
Well yeah, because it's a terrible city. It's not good to live there or staycate or anything.
- [99:59]
Brady
Restaurants, places to eat, the how many.
- [100:03]
John Holmberg
Parks per capita residents.
- [100:05]
Dick Toledo
I like that Adams Hill. But yeah, I don't know.
- [100:08]
John Holmberg
Here's the fun of it. Whole weekend Cincinnati people, Mount Adams. If people live in Cincinnati, vacationing there proves my point about how stupid those people actually are. You know you can leave, right? It's the Alcatraz of Ohio. Skyline surrounded by just prisoners in water, spaghetti and chili. Just disgusting.
- [100:31]
Brady
Tucson and Scottsdale were 12 and 13.
- [100:34]
John Holmberg
Tucson definitely is the Cincinnati of Arizona.
- [100:37]
Dick Toledo
Scottsdale is the same as Tucson. As far as staycations I don't think so.
- [100:41]
John Holmberg
But if you like if you live in Scottsdale.
- [100:44]
Brady
Yeah there's staycation in Scottsdale.
- [100:46]
John Holmberg
Like if you live in Maryvale.
- [100:48]
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
- [100:48]
John Holmberg
And stay Kate in Scottsdale. I don't know if it counts because you're already in Scottsdale if you're living in there. Why it's too expensive is probably the reason. Staycations in Scottsdale aren't cheap.
- [101:03]
Brady
This 21 year old man got arrested in Clearwater Florida on Sunday after he called 911 and said a stripper wouldn't have sex with him. Happened in a place called Oz. Oz Gentleman's Club. He was originally from Saudi Arabia, which doesn't have strip clubs. Strip clubs. So he probably wasn't familiar how things happened here.
- [101:27]
Dick Toledo
So he was.
- [101:28]
Brady
He called 911 because he was in the Champagne Room.
- [101:30]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [101:31]
Brady
Gave him 300 bucks. Said, I need the police over here. This woman's not having sex with me.
- [101:38]
John Holmberg
Yeah, this is wrong. He's making a valid point.
- [101:41]
Brady
And in his country he got arrested.
- [101:43]
John Holmberg
You better listen. Yeah, Surprised he went to the authorities.
- [101:47]
Brady
Not only is he out the 300 bucks, but he had to pay it $500.
- [101:50]
John Holmberg
Wait a minute. I am in trouble. She should be stoned to death. What are you talking about? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. What am I getting killed there for? She's the one who has not slapped on knobs. Why don't she listen? She's woman. All right, come with me. Haji, what is going on? The man is beating him. Did you not hear what I said.
- [102:15]
Brady
Pointing at the woman?
- [102:16]
Dick Toledo
I will stone you.
- [102:17]
John Holmberg
The woman should be stoned to death in a public Square. Give her $300. That's what I said.
- [102:25]
Dick Toledo
What are you hearing?
- [102:26]
Brett Vesely
You know his cellmates are pissed. Smells nothing but your car in there. Just noses, bleeding, eyes water.
- [102:32]
John Holmberg
You won't believe what I'm in here for. I give a woman $300, the police take me away. The man's words.
- [102:41]
Brady
I like you. You want Rolls Royce, you're going to.
- [102:44]
John Holmberg
With me after the we get out of this hellhole, I'm gonna get you a iroxy. We both have iroxy. We go get this lady, we kill her. Why would we not?
- [102:56]
Brett Vesely
He's Jamie Farr from the CannonBall Run.
- [102:58]
John Holmberg
It's $300. I don't get to sex her. Yeah, it's a tragedy, man. It's tragic. What are you in for? Nothing. I didn't do anything either. That bitch had it coming. That's what I said.
- [103:14]
Brady
We should get same.
- [103:15]
John Holmberg
You know this slapping broad. I hear that word on radio this morning. Slapping broad. You could not hit the broadside of a broad. Lesbians, they're everywhere. Get me on top of this woman, make good she owes me money. He's got to be going crazy. Chop off her ankles at least. You can't have Saudi. I don't understand that. Why? I know Saudi like the Middle Eastern dudes love strip clubs. Because you know every time you're there, there's always one and he's always in sweatpants. And well, there's always one. I'm not saying gotta have room for dragging the breeze. I'm saying no matter what, no matter how sparse the crowd, one of them is from the Middle east and he's always got cash in each hand. And at any point, if you stay long enough, he'll be like, come on. Eventually he's gonna start yelling at someone. What is going on? Come on. Because the woman didn't listen to everything. Put your face on it. No, don't. Come on. Listen. I am manual woman. You listen. Sharia law. Take off top, put face on it.
- [104:24]
Brady
Got a couple of capitalist pigs.
- [104:28]
John Holmberg
I watched too much of that bin Laden thing.
- [104:32]
Brady
First videos. The dad's got the kids on a boat, Little boat ride.
- [104:37]
Dick Toledo
The.
- [104:37]
Brady
The older sister is not enjoying herself.
- [104:39]
John Holmberg
No, she looks like she's gonna puke now.
- [104:43]
Dick Toledo
No, she's not.
- [104:44]
John Holmberg
Oh, fish jumps in.
- [104:46]
Brady
It hits the kids right in the.
- [104:47]
John Holmberg
Head and it landed in the boat. Awesome. You got dinner. Did the fish actually stay? And that's a big fish.
- [104:55]
Brady
Oh, y.
- [104:58]
John Holmberg
This is a group of Mormon.
- [104:59]
Brady
Stayed in the boat.
- [105:01]
John Holmberg
Still in there. Are the kids still in the boat?
- [105:04]
Brady
Oh, yeah, they're yelling.
- [105:05]
John Holmberg
It looks like they just got hammered first. Get out two rows. That's like my dad. It's kind of the Al Qaeda. It's the Al Qaeda of fish. He sacrificed his own life to beat up three toe headed whites all the way back. It hit all of them too. By the way, have you seen the Obama Osama thing?
- [105:27]
Brady
Not yet.
- [105:27]
John Holmberg
Have you seen it? I know we talk about. You thought there's one. There's one. Also another part, because my main takeaway was the dude who got yelled at by his wife for being late for a recital when he was killing Osama bin Laden and his wife still nagged him. The other one is one of the. There's a blonde girl in it and she's like 44, pretty hot. Yeah. It's like, that's only 23 years ago. Like, how in the world did they. How old was she?
- [105:51]
Brady
And she goes, right out of school.
- [105:52]
John Holmberg
Yeah. She goes, I was at USC and they had a job fair and for the CIA. And I went over there and she's pretty hot. And they showed pictures of her in college where she was really hot. And she goes, as the vice president of my sorority. And they really liked how I would, you know, some of the girls would make bad decisions and I would kick them out. And I'm just looking at it. I'm going, somebody at the Job fair wanted to you. And you turned out to be pretty good at what you did. She was unqualified. 100%. You don't get hired at the CIA because you. You're tough at your sorority meetings. And they really resonated with that. And it was like, I would rather be. I was willing to sacrifice doing what was right for being popular. And she's like, so I would get rid of some of the girls for bad decisions. So she was the bitch in the sorority to get you kicked out.
- [106:39]
Brady
She's in charge.
- [106:40]
John Holmberg
Hilarious. But she's still pretty. Like, she still looks good now. And you're like, how old was she when this is. She might be 45, if tops. She had to be 20 when she was in the CIA. Yep. Because some dude at a job fair at USC, like, let's go get us some sorority checks and rotten. Tell them to get jobs in the CIA. And they landed one.
- [107:04]
Brady
The last one is she was flying drones.
- [107:06]
John Holmberg
Brady. Remember when she said they gave her. They gave me a drone. And I said, am I gonna have to like. Literally, her quote was, am I gonna have to like. Like, kill people with it? And then later, I kind of. You know, after 9, 11, I kind of let that go because I was less conflicted. Did you ever. The guy from the job fair. I got follow ups.
- [107:28]
Brady
The last one is second base. Was a cool way to lay some pavers.
- [107:33]
John Holmberg
Okay. Oh. Got an empty driveway. They're stood up on these cinder blocks like dominoes. And the first one gets pushed. Oh, my God. Is this gonna work? Shut up. It's a good 125ft. 130ft of pavers.
- [107:56]
Brady
Watch.
- [107:58]
John Holmberg
Shots your mouth. Is that AI? How does that.
- [108:03]
Brady
Oh, no.
- [108:04]
John Holmberg
How does that work? All the papers fall like dominoes. They hit a wall in the back and then they straighten themselves out because.
- [108:11]
Brady
The last one moves up enough.
- [108:13]
John Holmberg
It scooched them all back. That's insanity. Yeah. That's. The guy says, are they all chipped? That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
- [108:29]
Brady
I know.
- [108:30]
John Holmberg
Cannot be reached.
- [108:31]
Dick Toledo
We need Neil Degrasse Tyson.
- [108:33]
John Holmberg
Is that how you. Yeah. No, I don't wanna.
- [108:37]
Brady
The last one goes because nothing's holding it back. So it moves up just a little bit.
- [108:44]
John Holmberg
All of them scooted. I think one would scoot up and they would just fall. Why would they all. I don't understand how that worked. Fantastic. Yeah.
- [108:54]
Dick Toledo
We don't know. We can't explain it.
- [108:57]
John Holmberg
Science. That's science. All right. Wow.
- [109:01]
Brady
That's it.
- [109:01]
John Holmberg
I want to try that. I Want to start a project now? Just need. I will fail a thousand times out of a thousand.
- [109:09]
Dick Toledo
A couple pallets of pavers. The one by twos.
- [109:17]
John Holmberg
Got an email. It says so cool you got that Saudi Arabian guy to show up in your studio so fast for the show. Just like you do all those guests for the Guadalupe Square signed. The dumbass from yesterday. Let's not make fun of that guy from yesterday.
- [109:28]
Brady
We've got a bullpen.
- [109:30]
John Holmberg
I keep all my accent people in the hallway just in case he came running in here. He had a story to tell. Bert, what do you got?
- [109:37]
Brett Vesely
All right, we're light today, so that's okay.
- [109:42]
John Holmberg
I'm flying, man.
- [109:44]
Brett Vesely
There's a little motorcycle action.
- [109:46]
John Holmberg
Okay.
- [109:47]
Brady
Hot dogging.
- [109:48]
John Holmberg
Got a mic?
- [109:48]
Brett Vesely
No, not really.
- [109:49]
John Holmberg
Got a camera on the back. Oh, I was gonna say camera on the back of one of the motorcycles and the gu. Into the oncoming traffic to pass the other bikes and he gets eaten up by an escort. Wow.
- [110:00]
Brady
Yeah, I know these head on collision sometimes.
- [110:03]
John Holmberg
How did he not see that? You're right. How in the world?
- [110:05]
Brady
Cuz the one guy next to him was pulling a wheelie right off the bat. So maybe he looked over at that Wheelies.
- [110:12]
John Holmberg
The second you're an adult and you're popping a wheelie.
- [110:15]
Brady
Popping a wheelie.
- [110:17]
John Holmberg
Oh, come on, man. This is too much, too fast. Went from motorcycle accident to the biggest strap on I have ever seen in black and white. Which I appreciate. It's like that's an artistic thing. Yeah. The last few episodes of Better Call Saw. Look at that. That thing is two feet long.
- [110:36]
Brady
Wow.
- [110:37]
John Holmberg
It is.
- [110:39]
Brady
And look at the cans on that dude.
- [110:40]
John Holmberg
Yeah. You can't get. Did he have cans?
- [110:42]
Brady
Yeah.
- [110:43]
John Holmberg
The one on the ground or the one.
- [110:44]
Brady
There's two guys, one probing.
- [110:47]
John Holmberg
I think he's just got gynomaster strap on. Yeah, no, no, no. I know, but he's got. I think he's got lonely bumpy boobs.
- [110:54]
Brady
Oh, my hairy arms.
- [110:57]
John Holmberg
Is that a girl? That may be a girl.
- [110:59]
Dick Toledo
That's a girl.
- [111:00]
John Holmberg
That's a girl with the strap on. I thought it was a boy too, Brady. Based on the hairy arms. Those are some. That was not what I was looking at. I was looking at. I was looking at that atrocious ass on that skinny man body. But I guess that's probably a girl. And it is just the. And plus it's bigger than the man taking the two footer. Oh man, that is the biggest. Jesus.
- [111:27]
Dick Toledo
She's got to take three steps back to get out.
- [111:30]
John Holmberg
Thing is huge. I Didn't know a butt could do that. I know mine can't, so.
- [111:39]
Brett Vesely
And this one, we'll just say this is. You know, we always talk about Action Ride shop being able to fix anything.
- [111:46]
John Holmberg
Sure.
- [111:46]
Brett Vesely
This may be one they can't.
- [111:47]
John Holmberg
Okay, possible they can. Ah. We're looking at the sprockets of the chain. The guy's got his wiener going into the chain. He's putting the chain onto the. The gears, the sprockets. That's the lowest gear you've got. Oh, God. And he's got the chain around his penis, and it's trapped up against the gear mechanism. Now they're pedaling. Oh. Did it make holes abusing his pee pee? Can we watch that giant thing again? Sure. Click back on that one. I'm trying to figure out. Good Lord. Where does it go inside of him. It's two feet. There's not enough room. It's hitting his heart.
- [112:33]
Brady
Is this an illusion?
- [112:34]
John Holmberg
It's hitting his heart. This might be a David Blaine thing. Yeah. That thing is touching that guy's heart. It's that long. Yeah. That's a woman. Those are boobs. They're not good ones, though.
- [112:44]
Brady
Serious pipes.
- [112:45]
John Holmberg
Look at. I didn't catch that the first time. Put her whole hand in there. You ready for some more? Yeah, let's keep going. Oh, my God. Yeah. This is an optical illusion. This is. This is a magic trick. No, human, like. His stomach is in disarray. There's no way. It's like driving a truck through a furniture store. He's hitting everything.
- [113:12]
Dick Toledo
She's gonna puncture a lung.
- [113:13]
John Holmberg
Oh, the lungs. They're being bashed out of the way. The heart's wondering what's going on.
- [113:17]
Brady
I think he's coming out his mouth.
- [113:18]
John Holmberg
His esophagus is affected. This is huge. That can't be real. That cannot be a real thing. Brady. I'm with you on this one. That's AI. No human butt can do this. This. It's just pushing things all over inside. That's the biggest thing I've ever seen in my life. Well, you can buy those. That's like. That should be illegal.
- [113:38]
Brett Vesely
Oh, you know you can buy those.
- [113:39]
John Holmberg
Yeah, but we shouldn't. We should. We should not be allowed to own those. Look at. There's an irresponsibility going on right in front of us. She's horrible at it. Good God, man. What's going on out there right now, Brady? City of 5 million. Somebody is walking around today just had that done to him. Man or woman?
- [114:00]
Brady
I don't know, at least he prepped for it.
- [114:04]
John Holmberg
I hope so.
- [114:05]
Brady
Not.
- [114:06]
John Holmberg
That's not dry.
- [114:07]
Brady
It's not a.
- [114:07]
John Holmberg
A Leon sweater Party's like, who What?
- [114:10]
Brett Vesely
Just the ugly, sweaty sweater party.
- [114:12]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Katie. KB's doing that tomorrow, I think. Yeah, it's fun. The big strap on nights they have over there with soul sun or whatever bands show up in the town. Yeah, that's the. I'm. I can't imagine that that would be fun to anyone. That's a challenge. I got two feet of this PVC pipe I'm going to put in here. I'm like, where does it go? I don't have two feet of room.
- [114:39]
Brady
Like, maybe it fits, but curl around.
- [114:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it doesn't, like, start. It was thick, like 2ft. Straightening out urine from my hips to my clavicle. That's not even. It's not even the same length. And I'm up to my shoulders. Where does it go? I need to know.
- [115:00]
Dick Toledo
No, I want that erased.
- [115:02]
John Holmberg
I need to know where it goes. I need to have one of those things like when we had a health class where they had the camera inside or that. Or maybe like x ray machines where you can see how what, like, stuff's like, getting out of the way. Like.
- [115:15]
Dick Toledo
Like an MRI.
- [115:16]
Brady
Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
- [115:17]
John Holmberg
He's the only one. He's the only one that can help us. Maybe he'll do an episode on this Startalks with Neil Degrasse Tyson. We're going to talk about where does it go today? The word you're looking for is Cameroon. 97936 is the number text. Cameroon to 97936, where we were number two and we are slipping. So let's help ourselves out. Cameroon. And you can qualify for the man cave upgrade coming Up Friday. It's 98 KUPD. There goes your Brady report. It's out of control now. 98. Morning sickness. That's a good, like, podcast idea. There's the cult right there. That's the fire one. We were just talking about the cult that was from 89. And I. And I told the boys, I said, there's one thing in my entire, like, musical life. I guess that's what I have. I don't know. Mucinex, that the cult wasn't a bigger band because they weren't good enough to be when they were great. Firewoman. All the stuff that they did, it was as good as it gets.
- [116:26]
Brett Vesely
She sells sanctuary.
- [116:28]
John Holmberg
Oh, ciao, baby. Like, everything that you know from them is outstanding. Everything else is dreadful. There's no Middle to the Cult. Like there's nothing. Oh this one. And then you. I'm doing my glasses skip. But like you skip past that song to get to all their hits and that's it. That's all they are. And I don't know that there's any rock band that has that many unbelievable songs that are playing 35 years later that are still relevant that have that many awful songs underneath them too. It always goes back to my theory that the longer you are as a band, the more absolute you release, the worse you get. Get. The longer you're around, the worse you get. If you have one hit per album, that means you have 10 stinkers for the most part. So every time you put an album out.
- [117:15]
Brady
Yeah, they're. They're more than. Way more than a one hit one.
- [117:18]
John Holmberg
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Cold was huge and Sonic Temple's great. I. Yeah. I would wonder if there's any other band that has that the falloff is like unlistenable. Like cuz there's bands like 7 Dust that some of their songs aren't hits but they're still really good.
- [117:32]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [117:33]
John Holmberg
They're just not. You just. You understood why they didn't pop the Cult. You listen to the stuff that you don't know. It's horrible. Like it is. It is. It is few and far between to find a listenable song that the Cult didn't release. That was good.
- [117:48]
Brett Vesely
Yeah. That Indian album that we were talking about.
- [117:50]
John Holmberg
Dreadful. Terrible. Anyway, we'll get right to it. I got to get to this before we move on. Remember Beezy yesterday from what Would Brady Do? Beasy was the one that had the wife that was. Yeah. He's got a career.
- [118:04]
Brady
Living the open.
- [118:05]
John Holmberg
Well yeah, they're living something.
- [118:08]
Brady
Open marriage.
- [118:09]
John Holmberg
It's not anymore so much though is because he emailed us and said he had an injury and it made it so we can't get hard on a work related injury where his wiener doesn't work anymore and he didn't give us any details and that's all we cared about. So then he can't get hard ons anymore. But he and his wife, who he likes to have swinger parties with and evidently likes to cuff, he no longer enjoys that because he can't get wood and he feels like a real man satisfies his wife and he's not. He's insecure.
- [118:35]
Brady
Starting to get jealous.
- [118:36]
John Holmberg
So we made fun of broke dick Beasy. Bdb. Bdb. Hey Buck. It says hey Holmberg. It's Beezy and we Made fun too. It's like you Beezy. The guy who was out of work for a couple weeks because something happened. You work with him, let us know. We didn't hear from anybody.
- [118:56]
Brady
We were searching because you didn't get was maybe an injury to the taint.
- [119:00]
John Holmberg
That's what we thought. Well, we're pretty close is Luckily I work in a place where there's only three other people with me in the room. Two of them are black and one is an old woman. So none of them heard you talking about me. My ed comes from a direct strike I took from a fall onto a horizontal pole. I cracked my pelvis and messed up my back. I was walking over a beam, which I should not have been and I slipped and landed really hard like I was jumping on a horse. Anyway, the injuries turned out to be fairly severe. I was dicking around so I didn't get any money from it. Just mostly got covered for the time I missed at work. It's a small metal works place. I'll leave it there. And by the way, you guys didn't help me at all yesterday morning. Thank you. Bees. Well, now we know he did a slip off of a froodle. I didn't know you could break your pelvis that way, but I guess it makes sense Fence he slammed down onto a pole slap jacking around just around at work. Two brothers and an old lady like you ain't gonna use your dick again now because you know that, right? Damn. Damn. How'd you see that be just drug broken dick. Oh. Oh. It's gonna be hard to look in the corner and see Bey while I his wife this weekend. The two brothers that you work with, if they're banging your wife, that's going to be even harder. And that's the only hard thing about you, Beasley.
- [120:24]
Brady
Is that permanent?
- [120:26]
John Holmberg
I don't know. That's. Well, damn it. Brady. There's another beezy. You're listening. Is it permanent? Can you get better? And what happened with your wife? Did you talk to her? Follow up. But thanks for the update because I was on it. What in the world happened to that. That guy?
- [120:43]
Brady
Penile implant.
- [120:45]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I wouldn't do that.
- [120:46]
Brady
If you still have the urge.
- [120:48]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'm not doing that. That would kill my urge the second I start pumping it up with my hand. I mean the minute I'm done with.
- [120:55]
Brett Vesely
The turns into a Reebok. Yeah, you're done.
- [120:57]
Brady
I'll do the Viagra pinch and fill it.
- [120:59]
John Holmberg
No stop.
- [120:59]
Brady
Fluid.
- [121:00]
John Holmberg
Stop it. That's embarrassing.
- [121:01]
Brady
Ultrex 7000.
- [121:02]
John Holmberg
I'll do. Have you looked into this?
- [121:03]
Brady
I had a fraternity brother that sells him years ago.
- [121:06]
John Holmberg
Oh, that's right. You talked about that. That's right. Either way, I'll take the pills, and when those wear off, I'm checking out. There's no reason to continue, like, the sad slap because, you know, in order to find out you have ed for real, you have to go through probably about 10 different embarrassing nights with it. Like, no, no, I think this. And it's kind of like half. And it doesn't work and it goes away and you're like, oh, no. And then it just stops being. And there's nothing worse. As a man, that's. There's no reason to keep going. Just stop. Don't go putting tubes and apparatus and.
- [121:44]
Brady
Have pinch and go.
- [121:45]
John Holmberg
No pinching. Go, go. Just go. No pinch and go. Piss and go. You're done. Whatever God you believe in has shut your body down for a reason. It's time for you to check out. Now, if it's reversible, like, if you're, like, unhealthy and your body's reacting, saying, hey, I don't get hard anymore because the blood flows back bad, and work on that. But if the doctors are like, yeah, you got this, and it's forever, just stop. We also learned yesterday we have a new black listener and maybe two more over at Bey's office if they get hold of his. It says, our new black listener's name is Robert, and his name is Robert Lavender, which is the most awesome, smooth Bobby Lavender man. The Big Purple, I call him. All right. He probably doesn't like it if I call him the Big Perp, because that's what. Anyway, it says. Hi, it's your new black listener, Robert, currently listening to your show with my friend Edgar and Jerome. That sparked a question or debate. So Robert Lavender wants to.
- [122:44]
Brady
Bobby Lav.
- [122:45]
John Holmberg
Bobby Lavs wants to be involved. Big Perp wants to be involved in what we do, he says, and this is just for no reason at all. I think he's on the Big Perp right now. I think he's taking some purple drink. Your superhero villain has lost his or her powers, and I like that you've included it. Could be a girl needs your help to get him back to save the world. And in return, you're rewarded with three options to choose from. One, you give up a body part and your family is rich forever. Two, you give up two family members and you're rich forever. Three, you spend one month in the worst prison in extremely harsh conditions and sustain unimaginable injuries. But live forever. Bobby Lavender says I'd take number three so I could outlive my exes. So you get. You give it. You get. The superpowers are returned, and you save the world. You either give up a body part and your whole family's rich. You give up two family members, or you're rich and you're rich. Or you spend a month in a terrible prison, Chateau d' if. And you're injured terribly, but you get to live forever. Forever. Which one do you do you save? Superman, essentially. And who's your favorite superhero? I think Superman would be mine. I think that's the guy. Yeah.
- [124:03]
Brady
Thor's pretty strong.
- [124:04]
John Holmberg
All right. He's good. Brett, what do you got?
- [124:06]
Brady
I'm gonna give a body part and.
- [124:08]
John Holmberg
Let your family be rich.
- [124:09]
Brady
Yeah.
- [124:09]
John Holmberg
And you're not.
- [124:11]
Brady
If they're rich, maybe. But does it say, why would I live in poverty if. Because I. I don't know.
- [124:18]
John Holmberg
You got it. It says your family is forever rich.
- [124:21]
Brett Vesely
All right, so it's only the three choices. Or is it?
- [124:23]
John Holmberg
That's it. Three choices. Give up a body part, your family's rich. You give up two family members, and you're rich. And you spend a month in the worst prison ever and get injured terribly. But you live forever.
- [124:34]
Brett Vesely
Oh, family members gone.
- [124:35]
John Holmberg
Yeah, same.
- [124:36]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I got a couple pieces, too.
- [124:37]
John Holmberg
I guess I get two round ways.
- [124:39]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [124:39]
John Holmberg
Does it have to be like immediate family?
- [124:41]
Brady
That's what I was thinking, is immediate family.
- [124:43]
John Holmberg
I mean, my old man's 78.
- [124:46]
Brett Vesely
He'd want what was best for you.
- [124:47]
John Holmberg
That's plenty good.
- [124:49]
Brett Vesely
He'd want what's best for you.
- [124:50]
John Holmberg
You know, and I don't need to see him pooping himself like crazy. I give him up, and then that sister of mine.
- [124:54]
Brady
But direct family. Brett, you got one.
- [124:57]
John Holmberg
Yeah. You're kind of screwed.
- [124:59]
Brady
A full life.
- [125:00]
John Holmberg
You got to give up your dad. And then who?
- [125:01]
Brady
Then?
- [125:03]
Brett Vesely
Oh, Then. Then it would. Then if that was the case. Well, because there is. I mean, that is my direct family.
- [125:07]
John Holmberg
That's it.
- [125:08]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [125:08]
John Holmberg
So if they're like, all right, next closest, next one.
- [125:11]
Brett Vesely
Oh, I'd take a body part then, because he's gonna die soon anyway. I'll inherit it, so I'm good.
- [125:15]
John Holmberg
But if you had your dad. Oh, here comes Toledo. He has to go laundry. Yours is easy.
- [125:19]
Brady
I got two blood relatives.
- [125:21]
John Holmberg
Your Alex and your dad are out. Yeah.
- [125:25]
Brett Vesely
What's the problem?
- [125:26]
John Holmberg
Give up the boy.
- [125:27]
Brady
My mom.
- [125:28]
John Holmberg
You'd kill your mom?
- [125:29]
Brady
Alex and mom.
- [125:30]
John Holmberg
Yeah, she's got a lot going on. And then your mom and dad.
- [125:34]
Dick Toledo
Mom and dad.
- [125:35]
John Holmberg
Okay. What if they can't find your dad? He's pretty good at hiding.
- [125:37]
Brady
Oh, Jesus. Well, but that's.
- [125:40]
John Holmberg
Who else you got. It'll just be Alex.
- [125:42]
Dick Toledo
I just People on my dad's side that I've met.
- [125:44]
Brady
Like my Alex and your mom.
- [125:47]
John Holmberg
Let's say that estranged family members don't count. You have to have only got.
- [125:53]
Dick Toledo
Then I've only got two choices. Yeah. I've only got two choices.
- [125:56]
John Holmberg
Off they go. So you would cut off a body part and let them be rich. You know, Alex, what's the third choice? Blow it. The third choice is spending a month. A month in jail. But you live for forever. That's not an option. That's a punishment.
- [126:07]
Dick Toledo
Yeah, that's a punishment.
- [126:08]
Brady
And you're injured, right?
- [126:09]
John Holmberg
And you. And you're severely injured in the prison. You're probably limp. You're probably. You're no longer Duncan.
- [126:14]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, well, you could be severely injured. Like with that last video we saw.
- [126:20]
John Holmberg
You get that Alex? Or like Brady said, Beasy. You get Beasy. You're walking around living forever with Ed. Yeah. Living forever is right out. That is a curse to me. That doesn't. I've never understood. Right.
- [126:31]
Dick Toledo
Watch all your loved ones die and then watch them die again.
- [126:34]
Brady
Love what you watch.
- [126:36]
John Holmberg
You're in prison living too. Just for a month.
- [126:37]
Dick Toledo
For a month.
- [126:38]
John Holmberg
Oh, I thought no, no. You don't live forever in jail. Just go to jail to earn the power of living forever. Yeah. Mine's so, so easy. It's pitiful. Like I can kill two people in my family seconds. My dad, I just tell him, look, what else are you going to do here? Are you done? But my dad's hanging around the restaurant too long at this point. Like, we need to turn this table. Yeah, we gotta go. Let's go. What do you mean? What are you gonna accomplish in the next few years that isn't gonna be weird? Weird?
- [127:05]
Brady
Sorry, you're off the menu, 86.
- [127:06]
John Holmberg
I still lots of stuff to accomplish. You had plenty of time, old man. I got a paycheck waiting for me. I'm gonna give you up two family members. Oh, I know sister. Okay, that makes sense. Not giving away mom. She's sweet. You gotta sacrifice. And he'd do that. I'd let him do. I would do that for him. Hey look, I gotta give up two family members for a whole bunch of money. I could live forever. Like our right. Oh, I'm one of them. Yeah. Okay. Cool.
- [127:34]
Brady
Well, he wouldn't.
- [127:36]
John Holmberg
He'd kill my sister too.
- [127:37]
Brady
Get a bunch of money.
- [127:37]
John Holmberg
He wouldn't live forever either way. I'm just saying, whatever my dad's quandary was, I would be like, okay, I'll help you out with it.
- [127:44]
Dick Toledo
So he'd have money for the short term. I mean, it's style.
- [127:46]
John Holmberg
It's a little selfish at 78 to kill younger family members so you can be rich. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the other thing. What if you. Bobby Lavender, you've come a big perp. You've come up with good stuff here. Do I get to pick the family member or. That's the scary part. They choose.
- [128:07]
Dick Toledo
Oh. Or if you do it and then just randomly and even again, in my choice, there's only two.
- [128:11]
John Holmberg
Yeah. For me, it's like, well, if it's just immediate family, I've already told you that two of the three of them are okay.
- [128:20]
Dick Toledo
If it's blood relatives for me, get rid of my half brothers.
- [128:23]
John Holmberg
So one of them. Either way, for me, one of them's gone that I've already chosen, so I'm fine. That one's dismissed. Then if they go after my mom, I'd be like, that's. That's. That's just rude. She's a weak old lady. She's a beautiful person. But if they got her, they got her. And then me and my dad would have trips. I guess I can live with all of it. I'm fine with that. What about. Oh, that's a good one. What about a family member and someone you see every day?
- [128:51]
Brady
Day to take them out?
- [128:54]
John Holmberg
Yeah. You get a chance that someone you see every day. So it can be an enemy. It can be again.
- [128:58]
Brady
I. I mean, yeah. So I. That's where I went with a body part. I mean, like, I could lose a kidney in Vegas.
- [129:05]
John Holmberg
You wouldn't kill a family member and then someone that you can just get rid of that you see every day. Yeah.
- [129:12]
Brett Vesely
It could be the prick at Starbucks or something.
- [129:14]
John Holmberg
Doesn't matter.
- [129:15]
Brett Vesely
You know?
- [129:15]
John Holmberg
Yes. Somebody that's been up your ass every day. Like, I hate that.
- [129:20]
Brady
It could be a loved one and someone that's here every day.
- [129:23]
John Holmberg
Toledo. Me. Bert. Yeah, Laser. Oh, I'd off Laser in a heartbeat. I don't even see him.
- [129:33]
Dick Toledo
Half this building would be gone.
- [129:35]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't know if I'd have that chat.
- [129:37]
Brett Vesely
GPT.
- [129:38]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. Get rid of the other morning. I don't think I'd kill any of them. They're. They're just fodder. They make my job easier here. I don't know. You kill.
- [129:51]
Brady
I still couldn't do it.
- [129:52]
John Holmberg
What do you mean?
- [129:53]
Dick Toledo
Cuz you can't. He's.
- [129:54]
Brady
He's.
- [129:54]
John Holmberg
You can't even hypothetically kill someone at work? What's wrong with you?
- [129:57]
Brady
Oh no. That's easy.
- [129:58]
John Holmberg
Well then do it.
- [130:00]
Brady
No, but you're saying. And some. A family member.
- [130:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [130:03]
Brady
I couldn't do it.
- [130:04]
John Holmberg
You could do it. There isn't one family member that's like Aunt Mary. Well, I mean, you know, she's almost done.
- [130:09]
Brady
Bunny's in the fourth quarter.
- [130:10]
John Holmberg
Just kill Bunny.
- [130:11]
Dick Toledo
The hot tub ain't. And your mom.
- [130:13]
John Holmberg
Bunny's good.
- [130:15]
Brady
Louie. And bunny.
- [130:16]
John Holmberg
Bunny's 90. Drop bunny like a six. Drop bunny like a two foot putt. She's out. She's had a nice run. She'll understand. Now kill someone at work or someone you see every day. Geez. You struggle with fun.
- [130:31]
Brady
I do. I do.
- [130:33]
John Holmberg
His face is struggling like it's gonna happen. Just kill the person. Moynihan.
- [130:38]
Dick Toledo
You have trouble just out in the ether.
- [130:40]
John Holmberg
You got no goods or bads with Moynihan. He' just end him. There's no beast end him. Scott Taylor gone. Innocuous meeting was gray face out.
- [130:54]
Brett Vesely
Anybody in 2060? Nobody knows them anyway. Yeah.
- [130:59]
John Holmberg
Oh, Ed. Ed. Sorry. Look, we've named a whole sales staff. Brady. We filled all of them with. With zero reservations. You're over there thinking about it. I just point it that one. Which. Who's that? Gardener. Yeah. Gil.
- [131:13]
Brady
That better picking the name out.
- [131:16]
John Holmberg
You liked her. I do like her. But we're getting rich here anyway.
- [131:23]
Brady
Yeah, I guess would be easier.
- [131:25]
John Holmberg
Look. What be easier? What does it draw out of a hat?
- [131:28]
Brady
Yeah.
- [131:29]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Well, I want you to choose. I want you to choose somebody. Kill someone downstairs immediately.
- [131:36]
Brett Vesely
Sorry.
- [131:37]
John Holmberg
You'd lob off a limb and let Kirby and Ronnie be rich forever without you, dummy.
- [131:43]
Brady
Yeah.
- [131:44]
John Holmberg
They're leaving.
- [131:45]
Brett Vesely
Oh, in a heartbeat.
- [131:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah. They're not sticking around for your broke ass. Plus now you're in a. You're an amputee. Like they need that. You waddling around with one arm.
- [131:56]
Dick Toledo
Although you golfing on the peg leg would.
- [131:58]
John Holmberg
Hilarious. I'd go to that. I'd push you every day I could. Who?
- [132:02]
Dick Toledo
Oops.
- [132:03]
John Holmberg
Brady fell again.
- [132:04]
Dick Toledo
You just hip check him?
- [132:05]
John Holmberg
Oops.
- [132:06]
Brady
I made the worst mistake.
- [132:08]
John Holmberg
Should have killed that one. Sorry, Ed.
- [132:12]
Brady
Who'd you kill downstairs? Let's.
- [132:15]
John Holmberg
Good Lord. Any. Anything.
- [132:17]
Brady
I take Cory out. Thriller.
- [132:19]
John Holmberg
You're just mean.
- [132:20]
Brady
Yeah. Poor Bass might as well make it.
- [132:22]
John Holmberg
Would you kill me? You would kill Corey?
- [132:27]
Brady
Yeah.
- [132:28]
Dick Toledo
You're putting him out of some sort of misery.
- [132:30]
John Holmberg
It absolutely hurts. Apollo, the Toledo hater is fired up. Yeah. Gas. You'd kill Corey? No. You can't even quit playing alone. I'd kill Corey with my bare hands. Like, I'll do it now just to put him.
- [132:48]
Brady
You know what?
- [132:49]
John Holmberg
I don't even need this black guy's game. I do it to put it out of his misery. I don't know how he's even wandering around right now.
- [132:54]
Dick Toledo
I love how you can't even put it in the ether.
- [132:56]
John Holmberg
You can't even breathe it. Yeah. You see me right now? Of course. Like I need you to do it. All right, you got it. Pillow over his head and shake that. Shake that weak little neck. He's done. Come on. And somebody's paying me. Corey's gone. I like him, but not that much. I mean, we've replaced Guadalupe Squares host one by one. This will be easy.
- [133:19]
Brady
Line him up.
- [133:19]
John Holmberg
Have Larry come back in here and fill in until we find someone else. The thriller is nice, but off you go. For the right price. Leave it to our new black listener. And all of a sudden, people start dying. Of course. That's how that goes. Yeah. Killing your family is like. You got old people in your family. That's easy.
- [133:43]
Dick Toledo
Yeah, but like you said, what if you don't get a choose? What if it's not the obvious choice?
- [133:47]
John Holmberg
What if they give you the list? Yeah, like circle one.
- [133:53]
Dick Toledo
The people that you most want on it aren't there.
- [133:55]
John Holmberg
What if it's Bunny, Tom and Amy to save Kirby. Kirby.
- [133:59]
Dick Toledo
Oh, you're doing it. You're doing it.
- [134:02]
John Holmberg
I kill myself.
- [134:04]
Brady
So long brother and sister and Mom.
- [134:07]
John Holmberg
Well, you kill all three of them. I just said pick one. He's a mass murderer now.
- [134:13]
Brady
Then Bunny. That's easy.
- [134:14]
John Holmberg
Okay. What if it's Tom and Amy?
- [134:17]
Brady
I'll go Amy.
- [134:19]
John Holmberg
All right.
- [134:19]
Brady
I'll go by the age. By age?
- [134:21]
John Holmberg
Yeah. That means you like Tom better. You jumped on Amy too fast. Now we found out the truth of this scientific experiment. Experiment? Which family member is your least favorite? And Brady chooses Amy. I'd choose Amy. Tom's cool. Damn it. Walked into your trap. Kyle goes. Will you kill somebody already? Brady, please. We've all gone through the exercise.
- [134:47]
Dick Toledo
Who's Matthiah got left?
- [134:49]
Brett Vesely
Her brother.
- [134:50]
Dick Toledo
He's out for.
- [134:52]
Brett Vesely
For me?
- [134:53]
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
- [134:53]
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah. Not my brother.
- [134:56]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah. You'd kill him? Oh, that's not even fought in laws. I mean, I'd pay you. This is great. Wait a Minute. You're gonna pay me to do this? I couldn't possibly. What a gift. And right here, you get away with it, Brady. Even God's in on it. So there's no punishment later.
- [135:16]
Brady
Sweet.
- [135:17]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's pretty cool. You get like a purge. Like a Lord Jesus lightning bolt. You can use it on of top too. What about Kirby, Ronnie or Bunny? To save Tom.
- [135:32]
Brady
To save Tom.
- [135:33]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [135:35]
Brady
Bunny.
- [135:35]
John Holmberg
You kill Bunny, you kill your mother. I just let Tom go.
- [135:38]
Brady
Great wife.
- [135:39]
John Holmberg
Just let Tom die. Save your mother, you son of a.
- [135:44]
Dick Toledo
Love how you spin it.
- [135:45]
John Holmberg
Now Put the guilt on him. See his face. Hate the kill games.
- [135:50]
Brady
Okay. Can I reverse? Come on.
- [135:55]
John Holmberg
You killed Thriller though. And there's a chance he'll come back as a dancing zombie. That's true. You don't want to start messing around with the superpowers. Yeah, I don't want that. Anyway, thank you to our black listener. Fantastic work. He's new. Bobby Lavender, the big perp, as we like to call him.
- [136:11]
Dick Toledo
B Lav.
- [136:12]
John Holmberg
No, no. It sounds weird. No, sounds like a soap. The Cameroon is the word you want to text. 97936. That is the word you text for the man cave upgrade, which is happening on Friday. The finals are at least happening on Friday. And if you guys want involved in that, you got to qualify first. The man cave upgrade is upon us. Cameroon is the glorious word we're looking for today. And what you will win is outstanding. You're going to get yourself all the stuff from our friends at Prestige Billiards. Az duh. And they're gonna give you. I don't even know here. Got the pool table, you got the ping pong table. You got the air hockey table, you got the smoker. Twin peaks gives you $200 in gift cards. Wise coatings gonna coat your garage floor. If you want to make your man cave your garage, that is what they'll do. That's awesome stuff. And then of course, game day Men's health gives you $1,000 in gift certificates to their operation as well. That is what you get as a man for man cave up brand. You can be a woman and win this thing. Why not?
- [137:08]
Brett Vesely
Has that happened?
- [137:09]
John Holmberg
We've had one try to be part of it. She's gonna give it to her dad, which I thought was really cool. And get away with an awesome getaway for a Father's day thing. We should have women involved trying to give this to their fathers for Father's Day, which is this Sunday. It's pretty neat. All the qualifiers for today with Cameroon. When Toledo calls and you get a qualifier. Get $50 gift cards to Vaughn Hansen's Meat and Spirits. Cameroon is the word today. It's gonna close up in just moments. It's 98K. It's out of control now. 98 Tuesday. That means it's time. Hold on, Hub. Well, here we go. Ah, came in wet.
- [137:59]
Brett Vesely
Been doing that all morning.
- [138:00]
John Holmberg
M sneezes There have been hot release. There's been some hot release releases. I'm proud of these. These have some mustard on them. Again, I'd say 95% of the times I release anything from this pristine cavern. There is no smell. But today, strong. Fairly proud of it. It is time for the hot releases. It is brought to you by our friends@new ac unit.com got an email from a guy who got his AC unit replaced, did not go to new acunit.com and is having nothing but trouble. That's 100% true. For everyone else you'd use. I'll just. I don't know. I don't know. It's a bad commercial. New ac unit.com is the place you go if you want to replace that AC unit. If it's starting to, you know, give you ideas like it might not be doing too well. It's the first week you're going to need it. This is not going to be a short run of acu. So if you've got problems already, look into getting that thing replaced right now and doing it quickly. With new AC unit.com they beat out that middleman. So those prices are a lot lower and you save, save thousands, save time. Buy online. New ac unit.com Toledo, your first release me. All the TV games, movies, all that stuff.
- [139:13]
Dick Toledo
Nothing really game wise. Nintendo Switch 2 took over everything last week, so people are still trying to get their new Nintendo Switch. I saw things online where people were waiting in line for a month.
- [139:23]
Brett Vesely
I went to Best Buy just to pick something up for the new house. And there were dudes the night before camped out hanging out for the Switch.
- [139:29]
John Holmberg
Yes.
- [139:30]
Dick Toledo
They had been holding on for like 30 days.
- [139:33]
Brett Vesely
I was like, oh my God.
- [139:34]
John Holmberg
See, that's the crazy thing for me. With the Internet and technology being as good as it is, how come they still can't make those things fast enough for release? Like they know how many people want one.
- [139:44]
Dick Toledo
Well, and you would think Amazon would know how many they have, right?
- [139:46]
John Holmberg
Well, that's my point.
- [139:48]
Dick Toledo
Tells me, well, you better order now. You only got two left in stock.
- [139:51]
John Holmberg
But they do it on purpose to force demand because McDonald's knows how many burgers to serve in a day. Day. They might get a rush, they might not. But if they introduce the McFlurry, they don't get lines around the block when we're out of them.
- [140:03]
Dick Toledo
Like, they know it's because that machine's always down.
- [140:06]
John Holmberg
Well, yeah, that's true, but they produce. Well, my point is they produce enough to know we got a huge demand for this thing. Let's, let's.
- [140:13]
Brady
I didn't notice the what's lines for the s' mores.
- [140:17]
John Holmberg
I should have never brought it up because I knew.
- [140:19]
Brady
Great point.
- [140:20]
John Holmberg
I knew Big Food, but I didn't notice.
- [140:22]
Brady
It wasn't.
- [140:23]
John Holmberg
We weren't talking about this. That. My point is how does Nintendo not just over saturate and then be ready for release date? They're always, you know, we'll get five of them like every store.
- [140:33]
Brady
I think they have the inventory.
- [140:35]
John Holmberg
Of course they do. But why? Why not just sell them all? I don't get it.
- [140:39]
Dick Toledo
Can you change your Instagram to Big Food?
- [140:42]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's Big Food. Big food at 98. Can you do that? Big Food. I'm Big Food.
- [140:50]
Dick Toledo
Netflix this week.
- [140:51]
John Holmberg
Week.
- [140:51]
Dick Toledo
Train wreck. The Astroworld tragedy. Documentary on the Travis Scott Festival.
- [140:57]
John Holmberg
I have music. Is this the one that killed people? Yeah, the rush here in Houston. Did ever tell you that I used to go through Wikipedia pages and change all of the former governors of Arizona's death to trampled at AstroWorld just to see how fast it would get.
- [141:13]
Dick Toledo
How long did it last?
- [141:13]
Brett Vesely
Evan Meekum was there.
- [141:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I killed Evan Mecham. Well, I keep their original death and then say, you know Evan Mecham. I had him crawl out of the ground. Ground. And that because he needed to go to Astroworld where he was trampled to death. It is unbelievable how fast that got corrected. Like Mo Udall was one of them. I don't even know if he was one of the governors. He's just people's names. I remember I changed his to getting trampled to death at AstroWorld. And it was like a dude emailed me within a minute. You can't do this. Like, how did you get my email? He tracked me. It was terrifying.
- [141:44]
Dick Toledo
Didn't Travis Scott also say that he's going to do it again? Again?
- [141:46]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it wasn't his fault.
- [141:47]
Brett Vesely
That was like. That was like the Woodstock documentary, right?
- [141:50]
John Holmberg
A little bit.
- [141:52]
Dick Toledo
Also out on Netflix is cocaine air smugglers at 30,000ft.
- [141:59]
John Holmberg
Oh, cool. Pilots as drug traffickers. I think they're high class drug mules. Do they know what was happening. And if the other. Other way. 26 suitcases. 26. Wait, who cares about bags of pilots? I don't remember what I said before. Wow. That makes the most sense of all.
- [142:30]
Dick Toledo
This one's for you, John. Titan Ocean Gate. They made a documentary there.
- [142:36]
John Holmberg
There was no one named where title was going to fail, but it was.
- [142:40]
Brady
A mathematical certainty that it would fail.
- [142:43]
John Holmberg
Oh, man. This thing's gonna be tough to watch. Stockton saw an opportunity to restart tourist visits to Titanic. Stockton fully believed in what he was doing and that it would work. He wanted fame to fuel his ego. Fame. I have no desire to die. Yeah, that I believe I understand this kind of risk. I thought Stockton was a borderline psychopath. Oh, man. They're blaming the dead man. No kidding. That's another good one.
- [143:12]
Brett Vesely
When you jump on a boat and it's controlled by a PlayStation controller, you know. Come on.
- [143:16]
Dick Toledo
Totally agree there.
- [143:17]
John Holmberg
Second thoughts are things that are homemade that are going to go way down. I don't even want them in the bottom of my pool.
- [143:22]
Brett Vesely
Right.
- [143:23]
Dick Toledo
I don't know if the producers of Love on the Spectrum did this one also, but Virgins is out on TLC this week. Season one, four older versions.
- [143:34]
John Holmberg
Virgins, I guess. Birdies. Yeah. Pure paradise. Not on the beach, though, because that would hurt, I think. And get messy. Yes. I imagine it feels glorious. That's when people do it so much.
- [143:45]
Brady
I'm of course gonna be in my.
- [143:46]
John Holmberg
Head of like, am I doing this right? Am I doing this right? My fear is bad at it. Yeah. Everybody looks like they're 12, 30. I'm 35 years old. I'm 34. He's got a PlayStation controller for a pillow. Oh, my God. You got it. I have never masturbated. I've never had an orgasm. I'm a prude. I felt that crazy. Of course I want it. Who doesn't want it? But.
- [144:09]
Brady
Well, then do it.
- [144:11]
Brett Vesely
What are you doing?
- [144:12]
John Holmberg
You're a woman. Ooh. My situation is I am still a virgin. And what's even more crazy, I am a divorced virgin. That's wild.
- [144:23]
Dick Toledo
What?
- [144:24]
Brett Vesely
That is wild.
- [144:25]
John Holmberg
It doesn't count. Her marriage never counted. Lord, I'm just right. Got a consummate. That right. The magic happens. Unfortunately for me doesn't.
- [144:37]
Brett Vesely
That's obvious.
- [144:38]
John Holmberg
Look, this dude. This dude looks like Bluto from the Popeye movie. When was the last time you had a real date? 10 years ago. Whoa. Alex is a really great guy. I don't know why he's still. Can you bone him? It's Tundra Speed dating. I am scared to approach women. He just needs to get laid. Yeah, I.
- [144:57]
Brett Vesely
Those broads even got laid.
- [144:58]
John Holmberg
Come on. But I don't hook up with people. I've never had a boyfriend.
- [145:01]
Dick Toledo
Like that is abnormal.
- [145:05]
John Holmberg
She's hot though. This one's like good looking. Extremely worried that having sex.
- [145:09]
Dick Toledo
She's a bull rider. Like Meline.
- [145:15]
John Holmberg
Wow.
- [145:16]
Brett Vesely
That's some 40 year old virgin stuff.
- [145:18]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, they did that right out of the movie. They did the same thing. But if you're a woman and you're a virgin and you go on TV to say I'm a virgin, it's. That's your. Yeah, this is.
- [145:27]
Brett Vesely
Your DMs are full comedy on.
- [145:28]
John Holmberg
You go to a bar and say, I'm. I want to have sex with someone. They're like, okay.
- [145:32]
Dick Toledo
They'll line up.
- [145:33]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [145:34]
Dick Toledo
On Prime Video this week. Rom Con. Who the F is Jason Porter? Couple ladies got scammed online. Romance.
- [145:42]
John Holmberg
Our first date. He told me, I waited my whole life to meet you. Heather, my man. I mean, who doesn't want to hear that? Everyone. That's crazy. Made me feel beautiful. Desired. He's sexy. Muscles. Like, what's he doing to you?
- [146:02]
Brady
Extremely complimentary.
- [146:03]
John Holmberg
Yeah. First question you should do is why is this guy with me? I was hooked, man. I met Jace. Jace dawn on a dating app. I had some doubts. Are you really into older women? I'm trying to understand. Who is this guy? I was on my computer and one name just kept popping up. Jason Porter. Jason Porter. Who's Jason Porter? Porter. Who's Jason Porter? Who the is Jason Porter? He was a thief. He committed fraud. Got them all. Yep. That might be fun to watch too. There's some good stuff coming out this week.
- [146:38]
Dick Toledo
Last one I have is podcaster Alex Cooper. She has her podcast call Call Her Daddy. Yeah, she's got a show on Hulu now. Call her Alex.
- [146:49]
John Holmberg
She's exploded in the show. Make it even more mean. You.
- [146:54]
Dick Toledo
She was an astute businesswoman who understood where podcasting.
- [146:58]
John Holmberg
Oh, it's a podcast or it's a show about her podcast about empowerment. No, she killed it. I don't know what happened, but she became huge. Just gargantuan. Anyway, whatever. Those broads in that mommy retreat yesterday, they were listening.
- [147:17]
Dick Toledo
They've listened to Call Her Dad.
- [147:18]
John Holmberg
They love. They were. Probably had it all in their earbuds yesterday while they were getting rested.
- [147:21]
Dick Toledo
Yes, absolutely.
- [147:22]
John Holmberg
All right.
- [147:23]
Dick Toledo
That's all I got.
- [147:24]
John Holmberg
All right, Brett, what do you got?
- [147:25]
Brett Vesely
All right, right here we got new stuff from Buck Cherry coming out this Is Set it free.
- [147:31]
John Holmberg
Okay. He still looks.
- [148:00]
Brett Vesely
He hasn't aged at all. He still looks 70 like he did 20 years ago.
- [148:05]
John Holmberg
Kid Road. Dennis Leary it is. All right.
- [148:16]
Dick Toledo
Yeah, that's Buck Cherry.
- [148:17]
John Holmberg
It's Buck Cherry.
- [148:18]
Brett Vesely
There's one for Dale Dirks. Bentley. Oh, she hates me.
- [148:22]
John Holmberg
Put your IQs down or you'll lose them.
- [148:24]
Dick Toledo
He's in town next weekend.
- [148:28]
John Holmberg
Did he redo the. She loves her mama don't do drama. Holds her whiskey Knows her Whitley.
- [148:38]
Dick Toledo
Oh, you thought she wants me for me from.
- [148:40]
John Holmberg
I thought it was she hates me. Just one little thing. She hates me.
- [148:51]
Brady
Pretty much.
- [149:03]
Brett Vesely
All right, let's just keep with that theme of how great it is. Neil Young and the Chrome Hearts.
- [149:09]
John Holmberg
Oh, no. Still alive. Again. The Chrome Hearts. Here it comes.
- [149:28]
Brady
Yeah.
- [149:29]
John Holmberg
That's enough.
- [149:29]
Brady
Crazy Horse wanted nothing to do with this.
- [149:31]
John Holmberg
Nobody. Everybody's Crazy Horse gets a call. It's like Neil's still alive.
- [149:35]
Brett Vesely
Let's keep it going for John here.
- [149:37]
John Holmberg
How about with him? Christ, Brett. What, are you trying to kill me? Today I'm on Mutinex. New stuff from the Cure. It is the Cure.
- [149:43]
Brett Vesely
It's the remix from their last album. This is Can Never say Goodbye. The Paul Oaken film cinematic remix.
- [150:02]
John Holmberg
Weird Children's clown. I can't.
- [150:13]
Brett Vesely
No right.
- [150:14]
Brady
Cutting myself.
- [150:16]
Brett Vesely
How about Van Morrison Cutting the corners.
- [150:19]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Brown Eyed Girl's the most. Unbelievably.
- [150:24]
Brett Vesely
Dance is good, too.
- [150:25]
John Holmberg
Yeah, but really annoying. Karaoke. You can't get out of karaoke. Yeah, exactly. Somebody's singing that. I like his voice, but I don't need to hear him at 85. This guy's got corners. And I'm standing still Missing you and I always. All right, that's enough of a fan.
- [150:49]
Brett Vesely
All right. And then I'll just bring us to N word or F word the game to sweeping the nation. And this is actually new music, too, from 50 Cent.
- [150:56]
John Holmberg
Fitty's got a new one out.
- [150:57]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, this is. Call me crazy.
- [150:59]
John Holmberg
The Brady won last week.
- [151:01]
Brady
I'm going Mother Effer.
- [151:03]
John Holmberg
Damn it. Mother effort me forever. Same.
- [151:12]
Brett Vesely
Brady. So street.
- [151:13]
John Holmberg
I'm going to go with super friendly N word.
- [151:15]
Dick Toledo
Super friendly N word.
- [151:16]
John Holmberg
Like really? Like embraceable. The embraceable. N word you Embraceable. N word you. All right.
- [151:22]
Dick Toledo
That leaves me with the angry ones.
- [151:24]
John Holmberg
All right, here we go. Fitty, go get him. It is what it is, man. I wanted. I wanted Mother so bad. Freddy had first choice and he took it. I knew that.
- [151:35]
Brady
On the ones and twos.
- [151:36]
John Holmberg
Damn it, Chunk. Second Right away.
- [151:38]
Brady
I need that going this morning.
- [151:40]
John Holmberg
Did you have that One rolling ton of a fire with this one.
- [151:47]
Brett Vesely
One title of the creator show, this is what happens.
- [151:49]
John Holmberg
Like, somebody tips him off. He's got some. Maybe a big perp is giving him tips through the text.
- [151:55]
Brady
Kirby, text me just before that. She was listening.
- [151:57]
John Holmberg
You should introduce Kirby to big Bob Lavender. Big Bob, Big perp Bob lavender. It's 9:25. There you go, everybody. Those are your hot releases. Brought to you by new AC unit dot com. Save thousand, save time. Buy online. New AC unit dot com. It's out of control now. Morning sickness, this guy. Jeez. Trying to do your job around Easter. Getting farked at. What do I owe you? Money?
- [152:37]
Dick Toledo
Reminders.
- [152:38]
John Holmberg
Anywho, now I forgot what I was gonna talk about. You son of a. It's your fault. Anyway, most of the stuff I was reading about here has been about that mommy empowerment thing. So I did kind of want to give the PSA out there. It's like, already 100 degrees today right now. So if you're in a mommy empowerment zone and you guys want to climb something right now, highly recommend you climb the oven and do some work in there and get some cookies made. If you're at home and you're empowered and you got nothing to do today, hiking's a bad idea. Somebody just sent me a clip from Fox 10. Evidently, there were 11 of them. We talked about the women's empowerment climb yesterday that ended with firefighters rescuing everybody.
- [153:20]
Brady
And four couldn't handle it.
- [153:21]
John Holmberg
We had a. A first responder email back and say they were a pain in the ass. We didn't say which one. He didn't. He remained anonymous, but he said I was on that call. Dumbasses. Bunch of dumbasses. Anyhow, so now's the time we give out our, you know, end of the morning's kind of winding down. This is when the women's empowerment movement gets going. For those PV moms who have nothing to do most of the things, they got their coffee out of the way. Probably that brisk walk down whatever calle they live on. Arm in arm. Yeah, they're pushing something ahead of them. It's either a Yorkie or a Yorkie ass. Gordon rides around in that. He's old now, but he gets still pretty pvish. What should we do today? Let's empower each other. And then they try to climb a mountain. They put firefighters at risk. So today, as a man, let me suggest as a men's empowerment for movement, you go home, you shower up, you make a nice meal, have a stiff drink waiting for the fellow. When he gets home and thank him for that paycheck.
- [154:25]
Dick Toledo
Learn how to make an old fashioned.
- [154:26]
John Holmberg
And you're mad at me, but I'm saving your life. You're the ones that are trying to trek the mountains at 110 degrees, you dummies. Although it did make my news better last night. And better still, there was a woman in charge at Channel three that scrubbed the story.
- [154:41]
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah.
- [154:42]
John Holmberg
It wasn't on there. It was on there this morning at 5 and it was gone by the time I had you looking. And you were looking for it. You had to have it sent to you.
- [154:50]
Dick Toledo
Is that true? I missed that part of it was scrubbed.
- [154:51]
John Holmberg
Really? It was gone? Well, they can't have it. Look, somebody pointed out. And that's. I went off on this again. Somebody pointed out the funniest thing of the video of the lady talking about the women's empowerment movement being such a success is that you can hear the boop boop of the fire truck backing up while she says how great it went.
- [155:10]
Dick Toledo
All I heard was her say sometimes they make mistakes.
- [155:13]
John Holmberg
Sometimes it just overshoots your boundaries. We miscalculated. And again, this never happens. Daddy empowerment movements are usually there's. Well, I'm. You know, it's not great. Usually there's a prostitute involved. That's probably a daddy empowerment movement. Usually a daddy empowerment movement is six dudes walking through a casino. That's they're not golf course. Very rarely are Daddy empowerment movement movements.
- [155:40]
Brady
Even the Promise Keepers. So you know what?
- [155:43]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [155:44]
Brady
Stay close to your wife so she doesn't get into women's empowering.
- [155:49]
John Holmberg
Super. Off the mountain, those dudes were all in turmoil. We don't like to keep the promise we've talked about. Yeah, I don't include the Promise Keepers in anything. That was a bunch of dudes trying to save their half. That was all that was. I screwed up, man. I gotta find Jesus or something. I don't need. Yeah. That was just packed with dudes just like. I'm lost.
- [156:10]
Brady
Happened.
- [156:10]
John Holmberg
You know what happened? The same thing happened to you. We all had it happen. Just listen to the dude down there. He somehow has managed to get through it. And the dude on the stage, turns out he did it too. He just hadn't gotten caught yet. All of it was bad. But these empowerment movements. And it's too hot to be empowered. Let's just say that we need to print up T shirts and sell them at Postinos. It's too hot to be empowered today.
- [156:32]
Dick Toledo
Less empowered.
- [156:33]
Brady
Can we learn from the guy that had the sweat right room. The.
- [156:36]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, the sweat lodge guy up there in Sonoma. It snowed a bunch of people into thinking if they sweat harder, their lives would get better. I don't know how that works.
- [156:44]
Brady
Purify.
- [156:44]
John Holmberg
If you guys just sweat it all out. Really, it's distorting you in sweat. Your glands are the problem. If we could just wring you out like a towel water right now.
- [156:54]
Brady
No, you're not. You're not feeling it.
- [156:55]
John Holmberg
Weak people need water when they're sweating out all their bodily fluids. You just sit here and sweat. Okay? Okay. Yeah. It's never ending, these scams. You know what? My grandma never did wander off into the woods with a yoga mat with a stranger. It just never happened. She never got into a yurt and then turned up the coals Grandpa wouldn't want. What are you doing? $185. I'm gonna go to a yurt, and they're gonna put hot coals in it. I'm gonna sweat out all my toxins. Stand by the oven. Sweat out all the toxins. There. You're good, let's say. Yeah. You're not getting that. That's not happening. And grandma lived to be, like, 85. She was happy. We got an entertainment drill coming up in seconds. This is not what I was going to talk about, but Toledo ruined it. It's 98. 98. KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Look at us go. This is a mucinex. Keeping this thing's churning till end. The lido have you yelling at me the whole time. Poon tanging around with my clock. Hollywood show folk. And this is about the time every day that the mucinex wears off, I start getting a little dopey. It is time now for the entertainment drills brought to you by our friends over@reactdefense.com the Home Tactical Black. And it is Father's day week. And they are saying basically, hey, Dad's presence. Something. You're looking at your dad's like, it's a nice. He looks like a lowercase B. He's getting a little chunky. He. You're not real comfortable thinking, I don't know if my dad could defend himself anymore. My dad, if he lived here, would be going with me all the time because he bows up to homeless people. He doesn't know what he's getting into. He can still hit. I'm surprised my old man can pop. And here's the thing. That's crazy. If you've got a dad who's older if you're a dad or you're thinking about helping your dad that out, one of the true, truest things you can do for your body is exercise and think at the same time. It's the best thing you do to your brain. It's amazing. There are people up there in the Silver Sheepdog program at React defense in their 70s that have put away walkers that have had their cognitive skills start to return to a better thing because they've got something to focus on. They've got a physical activity and they're moving, moving. You keep your body moving and you're going to do better as you get older. Plus you're just going to be better at being you. I mean, young, old, doesn't matter. But if you're a dad and you want to protect yourself from not only just bad people out there, but kind of deteriorating, there's nothing better. And this price right now is ridiculous. Two months for $199. My God, it's a Father's day. Get it for dad right now. Get it for your husband who is a dad. He can protect the family a little better if he's got some of this training under his belt. Plus he's going to start looking a little bit better for you as well. Ooh, there it is. It's react defense.com. check it all out right there. It's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
- [159:57]
Brady
Great news. We won't have to hear about Justin Baldini. And yeah, Blake Lively's court case.
- [160:05]
John Holmberg
The big thing got Judge said you're both pricks.
- [160:08]
Brady
I'm throwing it out.
- [160:08]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he tossed the big Baldini 400 million dollar whatever towards her and then so that kind of negates everything she's fighting about. It means it's all going to disappear. It's the least interesting Hollywood story of all time. A lot boring going on with the ball team. Nobody saw the movie that they did together that caused all this.
- [160:31]
Brett Vesely
And then it came out.
- [160:32]
John Holmberg
Oh, it's been out for years.
- [160:34]
Brett Vesely
No idea.
- [160:34]
John Holmberg
And the weird part is is that women watched it.
- [160:36]
Brady
Well, some women watched ends with us.
- [160:38]
John Holmberg
But nobody was interested enough in this controversy to go seek it out. Most of the time when something like this happens, like what movie are we talking about? And you see it just like dominate Netflix. Never happened. Never happened.
- [160:51]
Brady
Buzzfeed just put a list of great movies that completely fall apart at the end.
- [160:58]
John Holmberg
Oh, there's a few of them.
- [161:00]
Brady
Yeah. I'll give you the list that they came up. Hancock.
- [161:04]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, that's.
- [161:05]
Brady
That got really took 136 degree turn. Turn into something really weird tacked onto the plot.
- [161:12]
John Holmberg
Yeah. That wasn't a very good movie to begin with.
- [161:14]
Brady
Signs.
- [161:15]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I liked Signs. That was like, actually surprisingly. But it does get a little weird at the end.
- [161:21]
Brady
Grief.
- [161:22]
John Holmberg
What?
- [161:23]
Brady
Why does the car fly?
- [161:24]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that is kind of strange.
- [161:27]
Brady
That's all the way at the end.
- [161:28]
John Holmberg
But the power to fly the car into space the whole time. And we had to watch a. Why didn't you just take Grease Light Lightning out of the LA riverbed?
- [161:37]
Brady
They put wizard of Oz on there. I never. The remark was I never forgave the movie for having it all turn out to be a dream. What was the point of all of that?
- [161:49]
John Holmberg
Well, it, like made Dorothy appreciate her surroundings a little better. She was always. She's always thinking about where, like, the grass was greener is the message of the wizard of Oz. I was like, you take a look around you. Everything you have that you ever needed in your life is right there for. For you.
- [162:04]
Brady
Interstellar. Totally flummox me on the romantic relationship at the end.
- [162:09]
John Holmberg
That one wasn't good at all.
- [162:12]
Brady
Glass. Dud ending to a decent trilogy.
- [162:17]
Brett Vesely
What's.
- [162:18]
John Holmberg
That's the unbreakable. Right? Mr. Glass.
- [162:20]
Dick Toledo
Mr. Glass.
- [162:20]
Brady
You can defeat Bruce Willis with a puddle.
- [162:23]
John Holmberg
I don't remember Glass. I don't think I saw it.
- [162:27]
Brady
X Men Origins. Wolverine.
- [162:29]
John Holmberg
Green.
- [162:30]
Brady
The third act. And the screwed up version of Deadpool ruined it. The overall film.
- [162:36]
John Holmberg
You know why that got ruined? Oh, that was you. Logan is the one you wrecked. Yep.
- [162:42]
Brady
Yeah.
- [162:42]
John Holmberg
Yeah. When you told everybody the day it came out that he dies.
- [162:46]
Dick Toledo
Actually, I think it was the Thursday before.
- [162:48]
John Holmberg
It was. It was. That's right. Because you said. He said. Yes, it was. It was the. No, you saw the screening. That's right. Like you didn't know. We didn't. That's the whole point of going to movies. You guys. Dicks. Slap J. It was our fault that he said Logan dies. What? What? Oh. Can make me the bad guy.
- [163:12]
Brady
There was a poll that asked Americans which presidents have the best hair.
- [163:19]
John Holmberg
Ooh. Reagan.
- [163:20]
Dick Toledo
Jfk.
- [163:20]
Brady
Reagan was number four.
- [163:22]
John Holmberg
Wow. I don't think it has hair.
- [163:23]
Brady
JFK was number one up until.
- [163:26]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it got messed up.
- [163:27]
Brady
Just had one bad hair day. It got.
- [163:30]
John Holmberg
Who else had great hair? McKinley.
- [163:32]
Brady
Benjamin Harrison.
- [163:33]
John Holmberg
That's the dude I'm thinking of. That dude's got a mop.
- [163:37]
Brady
They're saying number three. Abraham Lincoln. Some of these I can't. You know, Franklin Pierce was number five. Ulysses S. Grant. But Trump was not at the bottom of the list.
- [163:48]
John Holmberg
Who was. We have a bald guy.
- [163:51]
Brady
The bottom of the list was William McKinley.
- [163:55]
John Holmberg
Well, how does Washington get up there? He was faking.
- [163:57]
Brady
Gerald Ford.
- [163:59]
John Holmberg
He was bald.
- [163:59]
Brady
John Tyler. And then Trump was. Nixon have a full head of hair, too?
- [164:06]
John Holmberg
Nixon had good hair.
- [164:08]
Brady
Nixon did not. He's number 10.
- [164:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Nixon had good hair.
- [164:12]
Brady
He just beat out Thomas Jefferson.
- [164:14]
John Holmberg
He was. Well, he was redheaded, but he was. He was powdered up, too.
- [164:17]
Brady
Clinton was number 12.
- [164:19]
John Holmberg
Good hair. Bush had good.
- [164:21]
Brady
George W. Yeah. Was number seven.
- [164:24]
John Holmberg
Obama.
- [164:25]
Brady
I guess he was number 15.
- [164:27]
John Holmberg
It's tough to comp. Oh, I mean, it is. Was that good for. It's the best and worst black president hair we've ever had.
- [164:36]
Dick Toledo
Is it good or is it what we know?
- [164:37]
John Holmberg
It's both.
- [164:38]
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
- [164:38]
John Holmberg
He's also first and last in black presidential hair.
- [164:46]
Brady
And, you know, I. The presidents don't change their hair at all during the office.
- [164:52]
John Holmberg
Turns gray.
- [164:53]
Brady
Yeah, it just turns gray or.
- [164:54]
John Holmberg
But not Trump. His gets stronger.
- [164:59]
Brady
We lost a legend in the funk.
- [165:01]
John Holmberg
Yes, we did. Most definitely. You have any. You got it right. Get it, man. Put it on the list.
- [165:10]
Brett Vesely
Best bass lines ever.
- [165:11]
John Holmberg
We might put it on the list for singing dead. Just let the audience do it. Let Chris Coutero knock this silly. And that documentary about them was pretty cool. Yeah.
- [165:30]
Brett Vesely
How many people done?
- [165:32]
Brady
There's a lot of people on stage.
- [165:33]
John Holmberg
It's a big group, like 13 or 14 stones. What's this one called?
- [165:39]
Brett Vesely
Thank you.
- [165:40]
John Holmberg
Thank you. Let Me Be Myself for Let Me be Mice Elf. Again, it's spelled that way, right? The cool little touch of Sly Stone. Thank you for letting me be Mice Elf. M I C E E L F. I thought it was a goof the first time I saw him. Like, yeah, I got a misprint. Mice elf. Anyway, have to get on there. I have to say this. It says, my dog's. My mom's dog meets. Mila was my kid's favorite and cancer got her leg and there's nothing we could do. She was 10 and lived a good life. Dogs make people happy. And this dog did her job well. She is survived by her sister Dixie, and her best friend, Callie, a German shepherd. Can we get a shout out to my sad family? Absolutely. You got a shout out to the sad family. And we all have a couple of cookies for our dogs and tip one back for Mila. Another one. One of the HMS Doggies that has passed. My goodness. Now stop it. Get 10 of these a day. Now, I sent pictures. The dog was on the slab. His name is Aaron. I just threw it away. Anyway. Sorry you're going through that. That's it. We can fix a little bit of your sorrows if you're having a bad day. If you're in your mommy empowerment group. Only made it a quarter of the way up the mountain before men had to save the day.
- [167:03]
Dick Toledo
Actually made it that far.
- [167:05]
John Holmberg
Some of them.
- [167:06]
Brady
Some of them.
- [167:06]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [167:07]
Brady
I guess that's fair.
- [167:08]
John Holmberg
Somewhere in the parking lot laying down. So hot. I don't want to be an empowered mommy today. Make it stop.
- [167:17]
Dick Toledo
I can't empower today.
- [167:18]
John Holmberg
I want to empower tomorrow. Or maybe in the evening.
- [167:21]
Brady
The lady interviewed just cut the four people that didn't make it. Yeah, you guys are out of the group.
- [167:27]
John Holmberg
New empowerment movement's down to seven. It's like the. Like they're from the ultimate race. The amazing Race. From whatever it is. We're going to get down to one empowered mommy by the time this is all over. And it's going to be me. Kick the. Out of all you empowered mommies. Like the most. Like. What do you get if you're in first or the most empowered mommy. I feel sorry for the chunky one that comes in last and the four that got rescued. Anyway. Empowered mommies. Good luck today. Empowered daddies. Sorry. You're probably working so your empowered mommies can act like jackasses on mountain. We're done. Larry's gonna help you guys get feeling better. He's got money for you. Yeah, he's gonna. He thinks I probably be cutting some checks to some empowered mommies. Some rich empowered mommies are gonna make me pay them.
- [168:12]
Dick Toledo
You get cash.
- [168:12]
John Holmberg
You get cash money. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It is. Larry's gonna be handing out money too. Toyota Valley Toyota. Toyota dealers and lar. That's the museum. Mucinex. They're gonna hand you some money. Larry's gonna tell you about it. The excellent adventure is what he mentions. Be nice to Larry. He'll be nice back. We're done. I'm gonna go take more Mucinex and sleep the day away. Have a great one. We'll see you tomorrow. It's out of control now. 98. Can you PD.