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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Brett
Morning sickness. Thank you very much. Miles to nowhere, brought to you by Mucinex. Guzzling it for the last 48 hours. Putting me behind the wheel is dangerous. You don't realize that when you're on Mucinex until you're about a mile into your r going, the Mucinex. This is a bad idea. Keep it together. Stay on target. It was weird. I got to about Thomas and a guy changed lanes and I'm like, hold, hold. I'm like, he's just changing lanes. Calm down. Like, oh, boy, I got some Mucinex tension going right now. Guy who emailed me was mad that I brought up Covid the other day because I tested for. Just to see. Not that I would have done anything differently had I had a terrible case. Bruce says, john, might I suggest that the man with the wiener in his mouth take it out and. Or I'm sorry, wiener in his ass. Take it out and put it in his mouth so it shuts him up so he can listen to the genius that is free every morning. I believe you are what you eat. So tell that man I think he's a dick. I don't want to go that far with J. Fell. He's just still wired up about COVID I mentioned it. It triggered him. He flashbacked all the times Covid touched him. He got fingered by Covid in 2020. It ruined lives. This guy says, really? There's a guy out there who thinks you're in a conspiracy theory to advance Covid. You guys can't jack up your Jeep, change windshield wipers, or do anything really handy at all, but you're part of one of the largest conspiracies ever. Yeah, right. That's happening. Yeah, Robert, you're right. This is. If you ever watch the video of Brett and Brady trying to change my windshield wipers on my Jeep, you'd realize this is not the place the government's going to turn to. Go. This is exactly the go getters I need for this project.
Brady
You think Fauci can change some wipers on a Jeep?
John Holmberg
That's right.
Brett
Really? You want to be in that camp?
John Holmberg
Give us that EM50 project.
Brett
You want to be a Fauci guy? Okay, you know what's sad? I don't know. I know you can't. I know I can't. I know you can't reach him, which is even worse. Fauci probably has that same problem. I'm not saying he's a dumb man. I'm saying that he's probably, you know, he was in over his head like everyone was, and then he got real stupid and like, he's got agendas. We're just not very bright. And then with the marching and stuff, people are like, the problem isn't the passionate protester. It's the man child that leaves his mom's basement, starts chucking rocks to get a free TV from Walmart. Yeah, see, to me, that Jason's right. That's where the marching thing goes sideways. I think it's because marches are dumb. And I think in this day and age, when you are. When you're so used to getting a prize for what you do, when it marches over, you look around and go, did they fix it? And when it's. When nothing happened other than your voice was heard, I think it frustrates people more that they've got to leave and there's no solution because, you know, if you order doordash and like someday that, you know, you might. Or you might not get food. I think this day it's interesting how they.
Brady
Yeah, I've never heard much about the wrap ups.
Brett
Well, it's instant satisfaction. We're in a world of instant satisfaction. So the march has got to have results. For most of the idiots in it to feel like it was, there was a reason for it. You can't just march to the end and then it's like, all right, everybody go home. Like, we do it. Yeah, well, they hurt us. Is anything different? Got the point across. Not a thing is different. And then they get mad. And you know a guy on email who's 100% right, he's like, you're taking too much Mucinex. They've tried leaving marchers alone and they nearly burned major cities down. Like, yeah, I get it, you know, But I don't like to compare anything to the summer of 2020, because I was ready to march and I'm not a marcher. Like, I was frustrated that year, like, keeping things, you know, I can't go anywhere. Like, everything was shut down. I felt everyone felt oppressed. Everyone, no matter what. It wasn't, you know, and then people who had really been oppressed for years felt double oppressed. And that just blew up. That was a tinderbox. This is not too far off. But I don't think everyone's feeling pushed back now. Back then, everyone did. That was weird. That year and a half, we have all just kind of Skipped. Like we ignore it. This is weird. Like a year of the whole world is being locked up. It was weird.
Brady
But were those marches. Was that during. Was that when the BLM marches to happen?
Brett
Yeah, but I mean, it was because everybody was like.
Brady
And we still were kind of on a.
Brett
We all right in between. We were all oppressed. We were all being told we have to listen to a higher power tell us that you can't go anywhere. And then the whole George Floyd thing happened and everybody's, you know, the tensions were high to begin with, let alone now start mucking about the streets and doing weird stuff like taking full. Everybody felt like the powers had too much power. Everyone, even people who were like, you know, kind of pansies about it, didn't want to be locked up. It was weird. So I don't compare those two times to now because I don't think Logan Paul's going to get involved in this. And he couldn't wait to march ever. Just wanted to go outside. It was odd. But, you know, I'm not. I'm not saying I got solutions. I'm just saying what I see ain't working. So maybe there's a better way. And I think ignoring, like I take Brady's approach, just ignore it. How bad could it be? Valtteri Valtora around this thing? So, you know, get your rose colored glasses on and go. Is it in my neighborhood? Nope. All right, we're gonna just ignore it. Seems about right. I'm just. I'm doing a good job of that. This one's. Well, I'll get to that in a little bit. We have to get to the thing yesterday. Now I saw this. This is how you have to worry about. The real news is that they do have an agenda. It isn't Covid based, but they're very careful. Yesterday I saw a story about women who had to be rescued off Camelback Mountain. And it was bad. One of them is in terrible condition and four of them are hurt. And they had like thousands of fire. If you see the pictures, there's 100 firefighters. They've got the big wheel. They've got a helicopter. They rescued these ladies off of Camelback Mountain who they decided yesterday to go up on Camelback Mountain 108 degrees and try to. That's not an easy hike. People think that's just a walk up, you know, like a trail. It gets tough. And so, you know, if you're not used to the heat or you're not doing this on a regular basis, it's going to Kick your ass. Well, it did. And it was all over the news yesterday that they did a rescue. It's gone. It's hard to find the story. But it was a mommy empowerment group that went out there. And the lady on the news keeps talking about how it was a success, even though they had to be rescued because they had heat exhaustion so badly that they had to put firefighters at risk. And the one lady's like, and it was great. Everybody did really great. Nobody did great. If you're on the Big Wheel and the fire department is surrounding your big Wheel on the trip down the mountain, it wasn't a good hike. It's a bad hike.
Brady
They didn't talk about how many ladies.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'm not sure if they did.
Brett
I don't know. Like, Maybe it was 4,000, you know, and four went. If they had 4,000 women climbing in a mommy empowerment group, first of all, good on you for getting that many mommies involved in 109 degrees. Second, still, four is a high number. To lose four or five thousand people going up that mountain is not unusual during, you know, the week, I would suppose. And I don't hear about it too often. When you lose four in a day, it's a bad hike. It's a bad hike. I don't know about, you know, Everest, but if you lose four in a day, I'm thinking you're grateful for the survivors. But it's a bad hike.
Brady
One, one in critical condition. Two were air flight out.
Brett
Yeah. I'll tell you.
Brady
Third or the fourth one refused.
Brett
Yeah, she didn't, you know, they.
Brady
They iced her up.
Brett
I'll tell you this, because now they.
Brady
Show the new ice machine they have.
Brett
That'S great for the fire department. Yeah, they can ice shop and put it all in the ice up that Big wheel. I went on a bike ride once with my friend's wife, and she fell off her bike, cut her leg up pretty bad. We had to have the fire department show up. And they show up. It's a lot of them. One call, and they're like, we're getting. And that. We were a quarter mile off the trailhead, and she's bleeding pretty. You know, she had a big cut on her calf. I was fine. I rode up the hill. When I turned around and I saw somebody laying down behind me, I'm like, well, I got to get Mike's wife. And I rode back down, and she's down, and I'm like, all right, let's call you. Can't walk. And they all showed up I consider that a bad ride. Even though 50% of us were absolutely fine. We had a ride or down the day you almost died. We made it back, and I still consider that a bad ride. Josh and I talk about that like, oh, boy, we almost killed Brett. It's 113. I love riding in that stuff. 113. Josh and I are killing it. And Brett was a different color at the end. Brett would have been bigoted towards himself at the end. He turned this odd shade of beige that was not human and then sort of went gray. And I'm like, you need to come up with a slur for whatever.
John Holmberg
Started marching.
Brett
Yeah. He just started marching against whatever was oppressing him. You weren't normal. That's a bad ride. We almost killed Brett. Got back to it. Took you about an hour to normalize. And you didn't like it.
John Holmberg
Nope.
Brett
And we took that risk. We knew. But this is the lady that said the thing about that. It was pretty great. Is this it?
Holly Bach
We are a women's mom's group that we said we want to push ourselves to the next level. We want to push past our limits. Sometimes people miscalculate. And it was a miscalculation, but it wasn't. She wanted to push herself. They wanted to push themselves. They did pretty. Pretty good. Pretty amazing, actually.
Brett
No.
Holly Bach
And sometimes things don't work out the way we hope.
Brett
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nobody did amazing. If you're in a big wheel on the way down the hill, no one did amazing. Don't encourage this. Don't say it's a women's power. Look. When 10 dudes come to rescue your women's empowerment march. Shut up about it. Just say it was. There's a bunch of broads who made a mistake. That's it.
John Holmberg
What's with these broads? Any kind of mom puts themselves and everybody else at risk. Climbing up a mountain when it's 108 degrees.
Brady
Trail was open.
Brett
That was wrong with they need a PR guy, because at the end, you're like, we don't mention that this is a mommy empowering group, because people like Holmberg are gonna make fun of it tomorrow. You guys gotta shut up.
John Holmberg
Who's that?
Brett
Holly Bach.
John Holmberg
Oh, man.
Brett
She covered this. Oh, the blockster.
Holly Bach
Some of the tactics they use today could help save that woman's life and other lives in the future.
Brett
I think her mother is a model and her dad is a predatory cat. He's just. There's something special about her. You can't, like, immediately. That group needed to get together and say, all right, when the firefighters get here, we're just four chicks who made a mistake. We're not an empowerment group. We're not like, what are we, the Amelia Earhart mommies group? We're a failure. We crashed. This was a goof. We're not talking about it. We got 10 dudes that are going to come rescue us right now. Bad for women's empowerment. I hope that lady's okay. I hope they're all all right. But pr, you get your own internal PR team to recognize. You can't go to a news camera and go, you know, she just wanted to push herself. She. She did great. Everybody did great. Like, no, you were on big wheels getting toted off the mountain by men. It's a bad woman's movement.
John Holmberg
On top of that, these broads put all these dudes at.
Brett
At risk, right?
John Holmberg
40, 40 first responders up there trying to save their dumb asses.
Brett
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
John Holmberg
It's 108 degrees out. What the hell are you doing?
Brett
There's signs.
Brady
Well, that's what they.
Brett
Well, it was right on the. It was on the bubble, but they.
Brady
It was on the bubble and they were. They're trying to blame the weather service.
Brett
For saying, well, they can blame anybody. Look.
Brady
And the guy defined it. Here's what we do on the.
Brett
I blame the weather service. I went outside yesterday and I knew exactly what it was. It was a little too hot. So the weather service and the signs and everything else, and the mommies and there's certain times when I get on my bike and I'm like, I'm going to ride in this heat today. And I'm like, it's got me today. I like, I know immediately when the sun's, like, touching me, and I'm like, I don't like this one. Morning sickness medicate. Kupd.
Dick Toledo
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Brett
It's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. He knows this market up and down, and his message is simple and straightforward. He wants to buy your house for cash as is. No repairs or upgrades and a firm final offer with no chance of canceling. If he moves it at all, you get $5,000. So while the other guys come and go, Doug Hopkins is here to stay. Sell your home right now and start the entire process online@doughopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now. There's been time. I love riding in the heat. I love it. I love riding in the heat. I love. But anything over 110, I'm really not doing it. And I've done it a couple of times and there's. And I'll coat myself and water my hole and I'm dry in five minutes. So I am loaded with all this stuff. But look, women's empowerment groups can't be rescued by men and still call it a success. It's just a bad idea.
Dick Toledo
Just got a text her in that says, not for nothing, I'm anonymous. But I was on that call yesterday. Those ladies were absolute dumbasses.
Brett
Okay, thank you from a first. First responder who shall remain anonymous.
John Holmberg
And that guy's life is at risk because of these dummies.
Brett
The only reason, knowing this, what I know now, that I would go hike on Camelback with no water today is to meet Holly Bach. That's about as. That's. That's really the only reason you'd want to do this. You know what never happens? Daddy empowerment groups getting stuck on stuff. It doesn't happen. We don't. We don't do it.
Brady
Just so frustrating. Who wants to march with me today? Shut down Camelback.
Brett
Yeah. Usually a daddy empowerment group is five guys at Zips talking to the one dude who stepped outside his marriage trying to fix stuff for him. Like, like there's five. Daddy empowerment. I'm gonna lose everything. That's a daddy empowerment group. They don't go up mountains. They might go camping or golfing. We don't. You never see it. All us daddies were on the mountain and we did great. You all got rescued. It was a failure. No. We wanted to push ourselves. Like you're idiots. Daddy empowerment group. Quit it.
Brady
Some of them did pretty good. Man.
Brett
Think about that. Ladies. You don't need to be empowered. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Some of them.
Brett
Some of the dudes were great. The dead guy. Yeah. That's bad. But not in critical condition.
Brady
She really pushed herself.
Unnamed Female Speaker
She pushed.
Brett
She pushed herself. It was a miscalculation. Right? That almost led to her death.
Brady
But if she comes out of this, she'll realize.
Brett
Here's the worst part about it. I don't know if the stupid hiker law is gonna kick in. And the mommy empowerment group's gotta pay for their own rescue.
John Holmberg
Should.
Brett
But a bunch of dudes are gonna write checks to pay for the rescue. That's the worst part of mommy empowerment group. They had a Monday morning off. That means they're not working. So whoever's covering the bills at home has to pay the stupid hiker bill. Which means mommy empowerment group has to go.
Unnamed Female Speaker
Roger.
Brett
What is it?
Unnamed Female Speaker
I just got a bill for $1,100 for the mommy empowerment group failure. I mean.
Brett
Supermarch Postinos.
John Holmberg
Is that expensive this week? What's her. Aren't you?
Unnamed Female Speaker
Well, we got rescued and we have.
Brett
To pay for that.
Unnamed Female Speaker
Can you. Can I. Is there any.
Brett
So them dude's gonna have to pay that bill. Cause these chicks aren't working. It's Monday. In the middle of the day. Either they've got morning shows on radio. And I didn't see Beth out there.
John Holmberg
Was ladonna out there or they're not?
Brett
Harvey? No. Ladonna's on top of the mountain going, I am king of Phoenix.
John Holmberg
Come on, pussies.
Brett
Get up here. Who wants a piece of Ladon? I'll be on the top of the hill. Race you to the top, bitches. Ladonna takes the big wheel up anyway.
Brady
On her back.
Brett
On her back. Just in case one of you broads tumbles. Ladonna's got all the risk. We're not calling any men. You got all the men you need here. Yeah. I didn't see any morning show hosts or women who worked overnights hitting the mommy empowerment trail. That's a bunch of PV and Gilbert moms and Arcadia ladies with a day off because they have every day off. Do mommy empowerment. That's the stupidest phrase.
Brady
You know, 5:30 in the morning.
Unnamed Female Speaker
Yeah, you should.
Brett
But they're pushing. And maybe I'm a bad influencer.
John Holmberg
Success.
Brett
Obviously, I like riding at like three in the afternoon on hot days. I'm a weird lizard that way. But I also know not to do it when it's like 108 about it. That's about where you got to stop. And I've done more. It's not good. And, you know, I think to myself, and I'm alone. If I crash, I die. If I knock myself out, I'm going to get cooked out here. And I think that's pretty dumb. But I know that. I know how dumb I am when I do that. I enjoy the hell out of it because I like the heat a lot. It's weird. It's growing up here. Sometimes you just. Some people lean into it and some people don't. It's like people who love snow, like blizzards and stuff. I don't get that at all. But I understand the extremes. I love the heat. Doesn't bother me whatsoever. However, I have a burn period.
Brady
I've been out here for, you know, like, the summer kicks on in end of September. Okay, done with this?
Brett
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm done with it. But I like exerting myself. Yeah. I like hitting the trails. I like doing stuff that makes me just swamp sweat. Love it. But I never call it the Johnny Empowerment movement. I know it's stupid. It's the John's being dumb, but he likes it thing. It's the selfish John movement is what it is. But stop with like. Could we just stop with mommy empowerment? Do I have to constantly remind you it's not that big a deal? Like, look at Africa. Babies just fall out of those people. They're not even in hospitals. And they pick them up and they put them in baskets and they get back to work. It's like, I'm not saying that's the goal or they're better. It's just not that good for you, you know, Maryvale moms don't have mommy empowerment. They gotta go to work. They gotta get up and put their kid into preschool and like a daycare and go to work. The only people who have mommy empowerment movements are rich. No. Poor moms are gathering together in, you know, the worst is called a get together. Well, they know. They're just like. Usually it's like, all right, which one of your kids did this? That's usually a mommy empowerment move in Maryvale to try to find the kid who's painting on stuff or whatever.
John Holmberg
Like when the talons are screwing up or something.
Brett
You're not going over to Maryvale and finding five moms with Monday off. And they're gonna have an empowerment march up Camelback to see how strong they actually are. Nope, not happening. Not a thing. That is a Paradise Valley Arcadia Gilbert annoyance. Mommy empowerment group. Please go to South Phoenix. And how many of them are going? We're all taking the day off for mommy empowerment. Nope. It's easy. They love being moms. The mommy empowerment lives in their house with them. And then didn't have the nerve to still call it success is hilarious. It was just a miscalculation. One of your friends is almost dead. Well, she did real good, though. And that's the danger of Amelia Earhart.
John Holmberg
We should hire them in our sales department. Yeah, that great. That lady would be a great spokesperson.
Brett
Yeah, she can spend some. She should work for a politician. It's like. No, no, no. This is. This. This went really well. I believe your client is like. You're like, he' he's on rape charges. But he didn't do it. He did.
Unnamed Female Speaker
It was a miscalculation.
Brett
Like, he really. He thought. No meant keep going. He thought she was saying, go, go, Please go. He just misunderstood her.
John Holmberg
We look at it as a success.
Brett
We thought it was great. Cause, you know, he stopped even though we thought she. She was saying, go. Anyway, I gotta go. This is a mommy empowerment meeting. Mommy empowerment. You know's fault this is deep down. The husbands. The husbands. No, no, going the other way. Brett. What? You go home and you're like, she's so bored. She's got mommy empowerment marches in June. Yeah. She got too much time on her hands. You gotta get. You gotta give her a chore. Somebody's gotta get this lady doing something. And it's summer.
John Holmberg
Where were your kids?
Brady
She might drop them off with the nanny.
Brett
All right, now Brett's stalking Holly box. What? Yeah.
John Holmberg
That's better than mommy power.
Brett
Broad.
John Holmberg
Look at this.
Brady
Oh, man.
Brett
Yeah, Holly is. She's short, too. I saw her at a son's game. Ian Schwartz has yet to introduce us to Holly Bok again. Her mother was a beautiful model, and her dad was, like, an ocelot or a predatory cat because she's got these, like, feline kind of features. It's very interesting, the Bach. She likes country music, though, so.
John Holmberg
Well, she's obviously hot. So, I mean, you know, I'm a big fan, too.
Brett
Are you? Is she tolerate country music? I have a line I draw. Is she hot enough for country music? Maybe a song, but I think I'd have to dump that.
Brady
I can't take it.
Brett
That's a deal breaker. I don't know that. I don't know that there's hot enough to like country.
Brady
Yeah. Because, you know, I don't know that means she's going to a lot.
Brett
I just Going to shows and it's going to be playing by the pool a lot. You're going to be listening to it in the car. I don't know if there's hot enough to tolerate country music. I don't think so.
Brady
I wouldn't see that. I. I wouldn't have guessed that.
Brett
Her. Yeah. Hot enough to like. Like a night and fake it? Maybe. I don't think I could.
John Holmberg
Oh, come on. You can.
Brett
I don't know country music. I. I wear that on my sleeve. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not that good an actor. What if, like, she's.
Brady
You are.
Brett
I'm pretty good, Brady. I appreciate that. I appreciate the problem.
Brady
Do a night.
Brett
But I'll tell you what, if I'm sitting and it's looking good and the Bach and I are rocking. I'm rocking the Bach and she's like, come in. And I'm like, okay. And we go into her house and she goes, let me set the mood. I don't know if I can get erection. And this is what she likes to listen to in the throws of fan. I can take like, gunna. You gonna break out some. Gunna do some. Some rap. Some. That doesn't bother me. This. This comes my dick down. I don't know if there's dua Lipa like country music so much, I'd be. I don't think. I don't think you can be hot enough to like country music in my world. Says this is a man's opinion of the mommy march. And again, ladies, I hope you're all okay, but don't call this a success on the news. You weren't empowered, you were. What's the opposite of empowered? Weakened. Right.
John Holmberg
Failure.
Brett
Okay, well, that's what it was. I go with weakened. Empowered to weakened. I don't know if that's the failure. Also applies if you were. If the goal of your empowerment movement was to make it to the top of Camelback without rescue on a hot day, fail, then Brett's right.
John Holmberg
Right.
Brett
So you weren't empowered. You were energized. You failed. But you failed. This guy says, and Brett you. I blame you for this. What?
John Holmberg
What did I do?
Brett
You have had an influence on the resurgence, at least with the KUPD audience, of the word broad. I get a lot of emails these broads like you've opened the door for a lot of guys who like that. This one's from Rusty. I'm not so sure. A guy named Rusty hasn't been using the word broad. I think these broads just wanted to get rescued by firefighters so they could have a hot, frosty heat dream. Break out a hot frosty firefighter. That's right. It's all about just meeting a firefighter in the middle of the day while your husband's at work. Said. And they didn't make the fire department send all female firefighters. What a surprise. When it gets real, even they know who gets stuff done. You know what? It's turned into a male empowerment movement.
Dick Toledo
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Brett
Morning sickness. Now a bunch of chauvinists are it's a success. And this is a very old argument from Williams is go home, sit on the couch, ladies, watch the view and eat your bonbons. Bonbons still a thing that used to be a big comedy. They're coming back in the 80s when sitting at home eating bonbons, I might fall down camelback mountain for if Holly Bach was there with the big wheel there she's not, though. A bunch of firefighters are going to be there, make fun of me. And then firefighters leading over John. What were you thinking marching around like this? It wasn't John. Empowerment man did really well. All right, get on the big wheel. We're gonna tote. You know that lady that got spun to death by the helicopter a few years ago? I never heard any of her family saying it was an elderly woman empowerment march. I hope everybody's all right. I hope that lady got cooled off. I hope her body's all right. I hope everybody goes home, and I hope everyone goes home with a lesson learned. You need a hobby or a job or some sort of a charitable thing to do with your days. You're bored, Postinos.
Brady
Somebody ask the director to step aside or step down.
Brett
Somebody's gotta lose a job or a position in this. Brett's right about the postinos. That's where this idea was born. It was either ingos for lunch or Postinos across the street over on Campbell and 40th street, where they sat and.
Unnamed Female Speaker
Said, you know what we should do? Cause we're all mamas. Is drop the kiddos off somewhere and then hike the mountain. In the hottest day of the year.
Brett
I took Josh Blue. I think it's today's the anniversary of it. I took Josh Blue because he was going to climb Mount Everest or K2 or something. And he's got cerebral palsy, something like that. One of them. Multiple sclerosis. He's got one of those deals. Anyway, we hiked up in June, and it took three and a half hours. And we never once called it a success. And we made it. Like, I. I think I made his disease worse because he said he could hike that mountain. And then you know how he learned he's not going to hike K2? He fell down a flight of stairs a couple of weeks later and broke his tailbone. You can't do that kind of stuff. Well, I told him, I'm like, if you can hike that mountain, I'll believe you can hike K2. It's just so bad to sit and scream that you're empowered. And while you're being rescued, I don't. It's not. Stop it. Also, prepare yourselves for a weird weekend because it's Trump's birthday Saturday. They've got like, a 1800 protests planned across the country, and Donald is having a military parade, which we haven't had in a long time.
John Holmberg
It's the 250th anniversary of the army.
Brett
Yeah, that's the big parade are we going to. Are we. Are we rolling out rockets and tanks and stuff?
John Holmberg
So.
Brett
Oh, man. As a boy, I understand how awesome that is. As a grown man, I'm like, oh, this kind of might be.
Brady
Have we ever had people off?
Brett
I don't remember in my lifetime. I don't think I've ever seen military march, actually. They're not like. Not to this scale where we do bombs.
Brady
I always see highlights of Russia and China and.
Brett
Dude, coolest thing I've ever seen. Closest to that was in Coronado on the 4th of July. They had a parade and I'm like, parade's fun. This is cute. And Shriners. And then dudes popping out of cars and riding in little tiny motorcycles. Then a tank. And then this thing goes by, this flatbed with this giant. I don't know what it was. I don't know if it was, like, transportation or if it was a missile of death, but it was on the back of a flatbed and it went down that road and it turned around and went back up because that's how Coronado's Main street is. And I walked behind that, like, what am I looking at? And then dudes marching and then planes went over and it was Coronado's Fourth of July thing, and it was just two. It wasn't like, all of it. But that was the day I'm like, I think I would love one of those missile military parades more than. Anyway, because I'm. Deep down inside, I'm Peter Pan. I'm just a boy a grown man recognizes. Oh, this is gonna make a lot of people mad. And is it worth it? But we're having that Saturday. I'm gonna watch. I think that's. I think it's awesome. I love that kind of stuff because as a little kid, you know, I just wanted to play with tanks and trucks and. And to see the big boy versions. Awesome.
Brady
You rarely get to see our military do stuff.
Brett
Are they gonna do that, like, weird march and then, like, look at the president and salute?
Brady
Well, they stop like, in the Macy's Day in the main GR.
Brett
Do. Oh, no. Oh, you mean. Yeah, I thought they were gonna do, like, a Broadway show.
Brady
They might do another.
Brett
Something from Wicked or Good Night, Good Luck. Maybe just a scene from the Clooney one. I don't know, but I'm core, dude. I'm all for it, but I don't know. Is it. Is it. It's a little weird to me. Like, if Trump on his. It's. It's very Kim Jong Un to stand up there on your birthday and have the military march by and salute you, like that's very Kim Jong Un. I'm not a fan of that. I'm a grown up. So deep down I understand that as a little boy that lives inside me. I really want to see it. Not necessarily the praise part, but those missiles going down the road. Oh man, that's cool.
Brady
It's got two sides, stuff we've never seen before.
Brett
Yeah, like nukes. See, that's the 10 year old. Like if nukes go rolling down the street, I'm like, oh, this is incredible. And then when they all salute the president, like it's a little overboard. Both things are real. Both things can be true at once. I can want one and understand the other. That's my John Empowerment movement.
Brady
Brett, can you imagine? There's a couple just stocked out, RVs.
John Holmberg
Going by the EMC project, the EM50s rolling through.
Brett
Those are under disguise. It's just like the RV show at the stadium better have all the missiles sticking out and the guns and the turret and I'm a fan of that stuff. I'm a fan of looking at that stuff. I'm not a fan of the. It's my birthday now. Like I. It's bad enough that every year we do a birthday party for me that I throw for myself and then I sing just to raise money for the Humane Society. That's the fun part. But it is just to get drunk and goof around. Who throws a birthday party for themselves? Well, if I had the military, I might do it. If we were marching the military up and down the 51 and I got to stand on top of one of those walls and they'd stop and say hi to me. It might do that if I had that juice, but it's dangerous. But again, the 10 year old inside of me is like, I want to watch those missiles go up and down that road so bad. I don't know. I see both sides, so don't argue with me. And. And then I did see the as a sad story sort of. In a weird way, I feel bad for ice cream men in Phoenix because you think like you had a dream to live here and like you're gonna sell more ice cream than anywhere else, it's actually the opposite. Ice cream men do terrible here because kids don't go outside at all in the summer. They're in their backyards or they're not playing outside. So ice cream man on the hottest days just have nothing to do all through the whole summer. And sometimes they'll still brave out yesterday story in Queen Creek. And there's two sides that I didn't really understand on this, but a little boy sat outside when his parents clean the house. He sits outside. And he's autistic. And he has no concept of how money works. And it made the news and everything that he, the ice cream man went by and he'd never seen that before. He didn't know what an ice cream truck was, which to me is tragic for a childhood. If you don't know what an ice cream man is, you're not living a full childhood. And you grew up here. Did you have one?
John Holmberg
Yeah, you remember the. And on top of that, there used to be one that parked across street from Rhodes every day.
Brett
That was the other thing. Yeah. Like, yeah, they were. They didn't drive around.
John Holmberg
Right.
Brett
Like, we didn't have ice cream in. That would wake you, like you're from Ohio. It was a noise that I had.
Brady
To go to another neighborhood.
Brett
You had to run to.
Brady
They weren't allowed.
Brett
Oh, really?
John Holmberg
Gated community.
Brett
Too hoity toity for ice cream men. Evidently they're a little too rapey for your special. Like, they thought you were ahead of the curve. And all your parents thought your. You guys were all abductibles. The abductibles. By the way, delicious lunch.
Brady
Probably, I don't know, second or third grade, I'm over, you know, after school at a buddy's house and he lives in Grandview.
Brett
Some hillbilly.
Brady
All of a sudden. What is that?
Brett
You didn't know. It's the greatest feeling in the world, though. And the music goes by and all the other kids are like. And everything stops and you start chasing it down. Arizona kids don't have that experience. You'll hear an ice cream man, but.
Brady
We have one in our hood.
Brett
They drive around, but they don't excite kids. There's no, like, build up. Like, there's core memory, amazing euphoric feeling. Like there was when the ice cream man. Because it was pretty much every few days.
Brady
And a lot of it hit you. It was like winning the lottery that they carried. You couldn't really get in the store. A lot of times it wouldn't offer.
Brett
Look bomb pops. Mom never got those because they'd melt in the car. Here in Phoenix, you're not. You're not popsicle heavy because it's hard to go from the Safeway to the car to the house without just a puddle in your backseat. It's. They melt so fast, it's not a thing. So we're not that. We had Mr. Lee in Tempe, Super Asian dude who had the hottest daughter ever, Jennifer Lee. And she would for some reason lay in the front yard in her blue bikini. She never laid in the backyard. And we'd bang on his door. I never saw that ice cream truck leave his front door. Like we would just knock on the door and ask for Pepsi. That was bang on the door. What do you want? Well, I mean, you got an ice cream truck parked in front of your house. It's a kid magnet. Oh, God damn it. Hold on. And he'd walk all the way around, open the garage. What do you want? Pepsi's 50 cent. You give him 50 cents. Well, you come back, more Pepsi. You want two Pepsi, you can do it now. I know. Coming back like, all right, two then. Okay, 50 cent. Give him 50 cents. Give him a dollar. You got two Pepsis. One of them's going to get hot before it was over. And he didn't get mad because if he didn't want ice cream, he'd lose money. Evidently on the Pepsis, it's a loss leader. Yeah, it was like, I'll get you Pepsi, but you gotta buy ice cream too. He's killing you on the ice cream. Like Bomb Pop and one of those banana and chocolate ones. And then we would give it to Jennifer, his daughter, and watch her eat. Was awesome. She was porn Asian and she might have been like 16. We were 13 or 12. We just thought it was ridiculous. Hey, Jennifer, is your dad home? Yeah, but he's not happy. When is he? He's an ice cream man in Arizona. Anyway, this one in Queen Creek, they've got the autistic kid outside. And then he runs out. The ice cream man goes by, he's like, I don't even know what this is. And he runs to it and he's like, I want this and that. And he sees all these things and his dad grabs the thing. I don't even know how it happened. And then the ice cream man just goes, it's free. And gives it to him. And I'm like, oh, that's nice. Because you know, he made no money yesterday selling ice cream. The worst thing you can do in 109 degrees, ask the mommy empowerment group. The second worst thing you can do in 109 degrees is have a handful of popsicle or ice cream outside. It's not gonna get a two minute window. You gotta deep throat that thing and gag on it and pull it off the stick because it's brain freeze. Yeah, there's nothing about ice cream outside right now. Even it's too soon. So ice cream, man, I feel for you. And then this kid goes out there and then the one customer he gets doesn't have a concept of money is an adorable autistic from Love on the Spectrum. And then his parents call the news.
Dick Toledo
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Brett
Holmberg's morning sickness. And so now it's like everybody's gonna pretend to be special when they hit this ice cream and Queen Creek because that's how you get free ice cream.
Brady
Get a Choco Taco.
John Holmberg
Oh, Brady's going to Queen Creek today.
Brett
Every time I hear choco taco, I get a little chubby. That was a again. For those of you who don't know, a girl was so dumb once that she said if I'd never had a choco taco. And she said, if you don't like a choco taco, I'll blow you in the car. Well, she didn't realize that I'm a pretty good actor. Choco tacos are delicious, but I played it off like I was eating mushrooms out of the backyard. What is this?
Unnamed Female Speaker
Oh, you really don't like it?
Brett
No, it's gross. Who eats this choco taco? I'll try another bite. Oh, God, that's delicious. This is gross.
Unnamed Female Speaker
I guess I owe you one.
Brett
Yep. I just sat back, put my hands behind my head and got a Choco Taco bj Walgreens, Home to school and baseline. They used to have that when you leave. Choco Tacos. That was the Bryan Adams girl.
John Holmberg
Oh, okay.
Brett
That was one of the dumbest moments in human history. If you don't like it, I'll blow you. All right, let's put this to the test. That could have been a 10 ounce filet mignon cooked perfectly rare. And I'd have been like, something's wrong with it. Anyway, to the ice cream men of Arizona. You thought it was a good idea. It's the worst place in the world to be an ice cream man by far. Yeah. And the autistic kid was like in his early 20s or something. He'll never get past, like the age of eight. So he hits the thing. It's like, man, his childhood to ice cream man is such a great thing. Phoenix needs something like that, and we don't have it because nobody wants one when it's nice outside. You don't want a popsicle when it's like 80. And that's the only time ice cream men go by. You need to be like, in Chicago and. Yeah. And all the ice cream men. I know, like, you parked. They were too lazy to drive around because they know kids aren't outside. They used to be predators. They would go find where the kids were being released from something and parked. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Right there in Longmore. I remember right across baseline.
Brett
I remember that dude. Yep. And he wasn't nice either. Like, no ice cream men in Arizona are ever, like, kind. They're all mad because they've made a terrible mistake. It was the original food truck.
John Holmberg
Mad or chomos.
Brett
Well, definitely that. Yeah. If they're too happy, they're. They're grooming. And that's a sad state of affairs, too. Ice cream men with that little. If you. If Brady just suddenly quit his job to be an ice cream man and be like, oh, boy, killing it. He loves kids. It would just be out of the blue, like, oh, boy, he wants to be with the children.
John Holmberg
Don't get high off your own supply, though. Remember, that's the key.
Brett
Brady couldn't be a very good.
John Holmberg
That's what I'm saying.
Brett
You know what we should do is park an ice cream truck over there at that camelback mountain for those mommy empowerment groups and get them some Bomb pops and some Stars and stripes. So when they're climbing, they've got some sustenance on the Way up, give them a little sugar rush.
John Holmberg
Or a postino's pop up over there right in the parking lot.
Brett
A postino's pop up at camp Camelback. Oh, my. Brett, that's the best business plan ever. Ever. We need.
Brady
They thought about it. They wouldn't let it inside the area. No, you gotta go down the road a couple blocks.
Brett
Oh, yeah, but that's what a pop up would be. They put the pop up in the parking lot and the ladies can go and post dinos back and forth. They'd be in great shape. They'd get a quarter way up the mountain, go, you know what? I wanna go back and get some more bruschetta. And they'd go back and get a pop up bruschetta. I'm like, okay, we'll hike now. They go up and down the mountain six or seven times that day. And you know what we give them is free wine every time they come back. So, like, you take a picture of yourself on top of the mountain, you get a free bottle of wine. Oh, my God. They'd be up down that mountain 20 times. That mommy empowerment group would be on.
John Holmberg
Fire, in shape at that point.
Brett
I'd like to put it out there that postinos has like a. Like a guy who looks like a server. He's more of just like a. It's almost like the way marshals are on planes. He just walks around and listens for women coming up with dumb plans and puts a stop to it. Like, say we call it like a firefighter.
Brady
A monitor.
Brett
Yeah, Firefighter under. He's in. Yeah, but he's in disguise as a waiter. And he walks around and he just listens to conversations. And the second he hears.
Unnamed Female Speaker
We should really try it, it would empower us.
Brett
I'm like, all right, I'm gonna save some firefighters lives. You guys are drunk. It was a bad idea.
Unnamed Female Speaker
We were gonna hike camelback mountain tomorrow. It's June.
Brett
You're not doing any of that. Get a job.
John Holmberg
So it's like the TSA air marshals that fly with you everywhere.
Brady
They just posted up on the entrance rules.
Brett
Yeah. If we hear you talking about an empowering thing in June, we're putting a stop to it. Postinas is going to cut you off.
Unnamed Female Speaker
What do you mean?
Brett
We don't want men coming to save you. All right, all right. We're going to cancel your phone.
John Holmberg
We're holding you to that.
Brett
If you guys get stuck and it's nowhere on the websites anymore.
John Holmberg
No, that was scrubbed.
Brett
Yeah, they scrubbed it because you can't have 40 men rescue four women from their empowerment march and still have the lady barking about how great it went. Postinos, you're to blame here a little too much. You've added too much gumption to last year's cabernet.
Unnamed Female Speaker
This one's got me thinking. Maybe tomorrow.
Brett
Yeah, because it was a Sunday evening.
Unnamed Female Speaker
Just. Just taking a little edge off on a Sunday with the girls.
Brett
And then they got the idea to march tomorrow. Monday afternoon. They're on the mountain.
Brady
The girl they interviewed could have been, like, the leader. And she was kind of on the outside because one of the girls met her because she can read minds or she can read your body. And she's like, oh, okay, I'm gonna start this group. And then they all pay $200 to be a part of the group.
Brett
So you're saying that one of them keeps going. I like that. There's a mind reader that thought it was a good idea to get out in the sun. The mind reader said we should hike? She's a mind reader. Of course we should hike.
Brady
Debbie, your aura is really red right now.
Unnamed Female Speaker
You know what you need is a lot of vitamin D. Like, hours and hours of it.
Brett
They all have a mind reader friend at Postinos. She's a psychic and empath. She's a mind reader. Why do you hang out with that one?
Unnamed Female Speaker
Which one?
Brett
The one that changed her name to Victoria. I think her name used to be Stacy, but now she's like some wizard.
Unnamed Female Speaker
And she's got a gift.
Brett
All right. You gonna look for a job tomorrow?
Unnamed Female Speaker
No, we're gonna hike Camelback mountain.
Brett
You know, her husband's probably, like, good. Yeah, you should do that now. Drop a few LBs. Beyond that, maybe you can get out of this mix. Oh, what a tragedy.
Brady
He passed the ones you made it to the top of Camelback.
Brett
It's an insurance policy. Oh. You see, if your husband's trying to encourage you to hike Camelback mountain because it'll make you more powerful in June, he wants out. You should probably hit the mountain in the middle of the day, because since you don't have a job and all.
Unnamed Female Speaker
What are you talking about?
Brett
Just get up on the mountain, Knock it down. Maybe you'll burn up. I mean, maybe you'll have a good time.
Unnamed Female Speaker
That's a great idea. You know, me and my friends could do it.
Brett
You should talk to them about it at Postino's. There's no monitors. Here's your bruschetta and your reds. I heard you ladies talking about maybe Hiking Hawes Trail today. That's a terrible idea. None of you are in that great a shape. And it's 110, so I'm gonna go ahead and chain you to the postino's floor.
Brady
It's gonna be amazing. We get to the top, we get a free reading, and then we'll just.
Unnamed Female Speaker
Oh, my God, it'll be so empowering. We're gonna get so much accomplished that are not chops.
Brett
PV wives. You're hilarious. You make me giggle. Arcadia. It's four ladies with nothing to do on a Monday and they almost died. Yeah, lock them in the house. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?
John Holmberg
Wake Up Song.
Brett
Oh, boy, I heard the printer going.
John Holmberg
Wake Up Song. Brought to you by our buddies over at Action Ride Shop. And, well, you need to ride when it's a little bit cooler out. Don't be in the mommy empowerment group. And jumping the bike. So now's the time to get that thing serviced and. Or possibly pick up a brand new one over there. They got the full line of pivot, Rocky Mountain. You name it, they got it. Or they can get it for you. And best wrenches in town right there at action ride shop. Two locations right there on Power Road and McDowell, as well as the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern.
Brett
David Vasquez is a dick. Can you imagine the stress put on those yoga pants those chunky mommy empowerment broads had? If those pants could talk, they'd have definitely tried to talk those ladies out of this horrible decision. And I'm not talking about the mountain. I'm talking about wearing yoga pants. Climb all you want, but do it in some loose fitting sweats. Yeah, nobody needs to see that. I don't know if they were chunky or not. I hope they're all okay. I just know somebody needs to talk some sense into them. And I think it's the job of the husband. Unless they want him dead.
John Holmberg
Jabba. Huh?
Brett
Not Jabba. It's Jabba. Jabba the husband. Look, if your husband's all right with you hiking on a Monday and you haven't done it, it he won't watch. I watch a lot of Dateline. That's something. He's like. He's getting away with it.
John Holmberg
Check your policy.
Brett
I think you guys should all go up there. In fact, I'll drop you off.
John Holmberg
All right, on the list, Parkway Drive, Queens, Reich Revolution Calling for Everything going on, Dire Straits, Money for Nothing for John and his Covid backings, all that Mega Death, Metallica and Justice for all angry again for all the revolution. The revolution stuff going on. Los Angeles is burning from bad religion. Pink Floyd money for John Fairies wear boots. Sabbath, three days grace Disturb the meaning of life. Rival sons. Manson and body count. Institutional license. It's National Iced Tea Day.
Brett
It's ice tea day. We gotta do body count. Then ice tea is in it. Well, that has to happen. Institutionalized, huh? Huh? That's the one we're going with. All right, I like that.
John Holmberg
Do we have it in there?
Brett
Yeah, it's right here.
John Holmberg
Okay, cool.
Brett
Institutionalized is the suicidal tendencies. Wait a minute. Not that one.
John Holmberg
No, it's body count.
Brett
Body count? Yeah. That's the wrong one.
Brady
A poll found 8% of Americans.
Brett
You probably have to get it.
Brady
Have never tried iced tea.
Brett
8% have never tried iced tea.
Brady
Yeah.
Brett
How? The only thing bad about iced tea is when you think it's something else. Like when you think you're sipping on a Diet Coke and it's iced tea or vice versa. The expectation of Coke on your tongue, when it's actually tea, it's like you. Like you're licking a pig's butt. It's the worst taste ever. And then you're like, oh, now it's good, because I know it's iced tea. I love iced tea. Just a pain in the ass for home. Either do the Lipton stuff, which is just a sugar bomb, or you got that weird thing sitting out on your picnic table.
Brady
Ronnie, does that sound too good?
Brett
But it's a pain in the ass, and sometimes it's not right. It just tastes like muck water. Anyway, you got it.
John Holmberg
Pull the lyrics up because there's some Fs in there.
Brett
Oh, for crying out loud. Right off the bat.
John Holmberg
Not right off the bat, but all right. Just getting you ready. Getting those ninja fingers in.
Brett
I got it. Just like Climbing the Mountain lyrics.
John Holmberg
Body Count version.
Brett
Body count, 2014 version. Yes. Okay. Okay. I can do this.
John Holmberg
Those fingers ready?
Brett
I got it all ready to go. It's institutionalized. Happy Iced tea day. It's out of control now.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 06-10-25 Release Date: June 10, 2025
In this episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg, along with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delve into a series of engaging and provocative topics. The primary focus revolves around a recent incident involving a Mommy Empowerment Group that required rescue after hiking Camelback Mountain in extreme heat. Additionally, the hosts discuss the upcoming military parade in honor of Donald Trump's birthday and reminisce about childhood memories sparked by an ice cream truck encounter involving a special needs child.
Timestamp: 02:09 - 16:07
The episode kicks off with a detailed discussion about a recent rescue operation on Camelback Mountain. A Mommy Empowerment Group ventured up the mountain during a scorching 108-degree day and found themselves in dire conditions, necessitating the intervention of firefighters.
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Timestamp: 16:06 - 27:46
The hosts transition into a candid critique of Mommy Empowerment Groups, especially in the context of the recent Camelback Mountain incident.
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Timestamp: 28:02 - 32:29
Shifting gears, the discussion moves to the announcement of a military parade celebrating Donald Trump's birthday scheduled for the upcoming Saturday.
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Timestamp: 32:07 - 50:01
The episode takes a nostalgic turn as the hosts discuss the role of ice cream trucks in childhood and a poignant story involving a special needs child.
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Timestamp: 50:35 - End
The episode wraps up with a blend of humor and continued reflections on societal behaviors.
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This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" offers a dynamic blend of current events, personal anecdotes, and unfiltered commentary. The primary focus on the Camelback Mountain rescue serves as a springboard for broader discussions about empowerment groups, societal roles, and nostalgic reflections on childhood experiences. Through candid conversations and humorous exchanges, the hosts engage listeners in contemplating the balance between ambition, safety, and cultural evolution.
Note: The episode contains strong opinions and language that may be considered offensive by some listeners. The perspectives shared are those of the hosts and do not necessarily reflect objective facts or universal viewpoints.