06-12-25 - BR - THU - Survey Of Who Has Best Fast Food Fries - Man Arrested For Stabbing Man w/Machete - Breeds Most Likely To Get Dog Diarrhea - 70yo Arrested For Peeing On Pallet Of Spam

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 06-12-25
Release Date: June 12, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Station: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Duration: Approximately 32 minutes

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1. Operation Hydration: Supporting Phoenix Rescue Mission

In this episode, Brett and Matthias spotlight Operation Hydration, a charitable initiative aimed at collecting water donations for the Phoenix Rescue Mission. Brett is actively participating by collecting water at Safeway on 39th Avenue and Happy Valley Road.

• Brett shares, "Nobody should... die of thirst because of water” ([03:43]).
• The team acknowledges the contributions from local businesses such as Safeway, Albertsons Amco, Lerner and Row, and Schwartz Laser Eye Centers.
• Matthias emphasizes community involvement: "We are collecting all of those water donations... it's a great cause" ([03:25]).

Highlights:

• Shelly Boggs from Super Nintendo is also contributing by organizing water drives at her office.
• The initiative rewards participants with Pantera tickets and 98KUPD swag, encouraging more community members to donate.
• Brett humorously interacts with listeners, challenging them to hold three cases of water for a chance to win additional prizes ([04:30]).

2. Brady Report: National Celebrations and Hospitality Trends

Brady Bogen introduces the segment with celebratory notes on National Jerky Day and National Peanut Butter Cookie Day, sparking light-hearted banter about unconventional food pairings.

• Brett humorously critiques the combination: "Bad combo. Terrible.” ([06:48]).

Transitioning to more serious topics, Brady discusses a trend that could potentially phase out traditional hotel front desks:

• Brady states, "70% of American travelers are more likely to check themselves into a hotel using an app or self-service kiosk” ([07:05]).
• Brett relates personally, sharing his experience with app-based check-ins in Vegas ([07:34]).
• The discussion touches on generational differences, noting that Gen Z travelers are less likely to leave tabs open at bars, possibly due to better budgeting habits ([08:11]).

3. Survey: Best Fast Food Fries

A comprehensive survey analyzing 40,000 Yelp reviews was discussed to determine the best fast-food fries in Arizona:

• Brady announces, "McDonald's. Wendy's is close second to last” ([10:50]).
• The consensus among hosts:
  • McDonald's: Dominates the survey despite occasional inconsistencies in fry quality.
  • In-N-Out: Ranked highly but critiqued for the fries tasting frozen ([10:55]).
  • Shake Shack and Freddy's Frozen Custard and Steakburgers: Praised for freshness, though Brett expresses a personal preference against their taste ([11:07]).

Notable Quote:

• Brett on McDonald's: "McDonald's is the best by far, so good. Except for when they miss.” ([11:46]).

4. Incident Report: Machete-Related Stabbing in Florida

A concerning incident was reported involving a man using a machete during a verbal altercation:

• Brett questions the situation: "Did he start the argument with a man with a machete?” ([12:54]).
• Brady provides details: "Angel Ramos Arce, 35 years old, got into a verbal altercation at a Circle K in Kissimmee, Florida, before stabbing the dude with the machete” ([12:57]).
• Discussion highlights the dangers of confronting an armed individual and the importance of de-escalation ([13:05]).

Notable Quote:

• Brett emphasizes caution: "If you're willing to walk publicly with a machete, you're probably willing to use it.” ([27:13]).

5. Health Segment: Dog Diarrhea and Breed Susceptibility

A report from the Royal Veterinary College in the UK was discussed, focusing on dog diarrhea across different breeds:

• Brady shares findings: "One in every 12 dogs experienced diarrhea serious enough to go to the vet each year” ([15:07]).

• Highlighted Breeds with Higher Risk:

  • Maltese
  • Miniature Poodle
  • Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
  • German Shepherd
  • Yorkshire Terrier
  • Cockapoo

• Conversely, lower risk observed in Jack Russell and Chihuahua breeds ([16:24]).

Hosts' Commentary:

• Brett shares a personal anecdote about his English Sheepdog's messy experience, highlighting the challenges of grooming long-haired breeds ([16:32]).

6. Local News: 70-Year-Old Arrested for Vandalism at Sam's Club

A bizarre incident involving a senior citizen was reported:

• Brady details, "A 70-year-old Florida man... was arrested for peeing on two pallets of canned goods, including Spam and Vienna sausages, at a Sam's Club in Lady Lake, Florida” ([17:47]).
• Altercation: After the act, the man wandered to the snack section, settled on patio furniture, and completed his shopping before being identified and arrested ([18:19]).

Legal Implications:

• Charges include: Disorderly conduct and criminal mischief, the latter being a felony due to the extensive damage caused ([18:34]).

Discussion:

• Brett and Toledo humorously speculate on the extent of the vandalism and its impact on the store's inventory ([19:20]).

7. Viral Video Commentary: Humorous and Tragic Incidents

The hosts reviewed and commented on several viral videos submitted by listeners:

• Waitress Stumble: A waitress stumbles over a chair at a bar and crashes through a glass window. The incident raises discussions about stunt safety and viral content ethics ([20:55]).

  Brett shares a personal story about his father's accidental encounter with a sliding glass door, drawing parallels to the video and adding humor to the discussion ([21:03]).

• Little League Football Incident: A video depicting rough play in a children's football game led to conversations about sports safety and appropriate coaching practices ([24:40]).

• Landscaping Fight: A creative altercation involving a plant stabilizing pole turned into a makeshift weapon, highlighting unusual fight tactics ([25:34]).

Notable Quote:

• Brett on the landscaping fight: "It's me versus a Jo Koy, I think... fighting against dudes with sticks.” ([26:17]).

8. Upcoming Interview: Michael Longfellow from Saturday Night Live

The episode wraps up with a teaser for an upcoming interview featuring Michael Longfellow, who has recently interacted with Billy from Saturday Night Live.

• Brett introduces Michael, mentioning his appearance on SNL and his ties to Phoenix ([29:38]).
• Discussion hints at Michael's local roots and his experiences in the entertainment industry ([30:07]).

---

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of light-hearted banter, community-focused initiatives, and engaging discussions on current events. From supporting local charities to dissecting viral moments, the hosts maintain an entertaining and informative atmosphere, ensuring listeners are both amused and informed.

Notable Quotes:

• Brett on Operation Hydration: "Nobody should... die of thirst because of water” ([03:43]).
• Brady on Fast Food Fries: "McDonald's is the best by far, so good. Except for when they miss.” ([11:46]).
• Brett on Machete Incident: "If you're willing to walk publicly with a machete, you're probably willing to use it.” ([27:13]).

---

For more details and to listen to the full episode, visit 98KUPD or tune in weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 97.9 FM.

Transcript

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought.

[Matthias]

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[Brett]

64000 you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available@pocket hose.com terms we are cruising through Thursday morning and that means Brett is out and about doing what he does. And that is Operation Hydration on Thursday. Brett's out there this morning. Brett, if you could AI clone yourself, would you bang it?

[Matthias]

Myself?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Matthias]

No. Why?

[Brett]

Just to feel how you feel. No, no, I'm with you. Would you, would you three way mathia with it? Yeah, I might. Eiffel Tower. You have to Eiffel Tower with you so you could. You could see you like, there's no intimidation factor with you. And even friendly fire probably wouldn't bother you. Like if AI is technically mine, it's technically something you do all the time anyway. AI fires one and hits you. You're like, you son of a bitch. Just laugh at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matthias]

But I'm not, I'm not doing myself, you know. But you know, I like the tower. No problem.

[Brett]

See, and this is where the AI replicants are going to be a problem is that idiots like us talk about this. Meanwhile, China, Russia, they're just building armies as we're just sex crazy lunatics eating Cheetos. We Got priorities banging ourselves on a Friday night. Anyway, uh, Brett's out there this morning at Safeway on 39th Avenue and Happy Valley Road. Operation Hydration for the summer. Every Thursday, Brett goes out to Safeway and get you guys to drop off some water. Just like the gang at State 48. Doors and windows yesterday. Dropped off a boatload, couple pallets plus, which is a ton of water. I didn't realize how much that was. And Also our friends, Dr. Jay Schwartz, I mentioned that earlier. He's doing his drive out there. You can go to any of the Schwartz laser eye centers and drop off. They're doing theirs for their own purposes, for the Phoenix rescue mission. I got no problem with that. And Super Nintendo Shelley Boggs has emailed and says we're doing the water drive to my office. So she's got it going on and she's over there. I think she's off central. I don't know if you just barge in with a thing of water and tell her just drop off some money. Super Nintendo. Shelly Boggs will handle that. So she's doing good things as well.

[Brady]

She can deliver three cases I've seen.

[Brett]

Oh, she can carry some water. That girl can carry. So, yeah, that's a beautiful thing. So thank you. Super Nintendo Shelly Boggs. That's awesome, too. Brett, how's it going out there for you this morning?

[Matthias]

And Matthias Bar is actually collecting water for us too, so.

[Brett]

Glorious.

[Matthias]

Yeah. So local legends out there in East Mesa, so. But she'll. She'll be taking those waters as well. But right now, I'm not there. I am here on the Avenues again. I don't know why you guys keep sending me the Avenues, but anyway. Yeah, I know. That's how charitable I am. I actually go to the west side for this stuff, so.

[Brett]

So you can.

[Matthias]

But like you said, I know I do. 39th Avenue and Happy Valley Road. Right here at the Safeway, we are collecting your water donations. And, you know, some people are just swinging by on their way to work, and so. Oh, I don't got time. Here, take some money. All right, great. So drop off an envelope. I'll go do some shopping for you. Because like you always say, in a state this big, nobody should, you know, die of thirst because of water. So we're collecting all of those water donations. And of course, I gotta thank our friends from, obviously, Safeway and Albertsons Amco and our friends over at Lerner and Row for hooking all this up, but come on, I will sign you up for Pantera tickets and I Got some KUPD swag for you. And I guess that's about it for right now. But we need. We need some people out here. It's. It's a little light so far.

[Brett]

Okay, See if you can get.

[Matthias]

I'm calling you guys out.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, get out there. Avenues and see if you can get somebody to hold three cases of water and how long they can do it and the person who does it the longest. This morning, you can give them Pantera tickets.

[Matthias]

Oh, you really want to do that?

[Brett]

I think so. It's harder than you think.

[Matthias]

Okay.

[Brett]

Yeah. And make them walk around the truck like they have to keep one case. One case. Well, one case is a pain in the ass because the sides always rip. But if you just kind of make your hands like a forklift and plop three on there and you got to walk around, you can stand there for a while, and it's. It's no fun, but, you know, because your hands are extended, I don't care how strong you think you are, it starts to weigh on you mighty fast. Three cases was rough. So head on over to the Bob's.

[Matthias]

Enough.

[Brett]

No, no, no. We don't. We don't talk to the lawyers or the Bob's. We. We basically do what our sales staff does. We. We go ahead forward with it, and then we ask for forgiveness later. That's how it works.

[Matthias]

All right.

[Brett]

Good luck, bro.

[Matthias]

I'll do it.

[Brett]

Have at it. 39th Avenue and Happy Valley, out to Safeway this morning. That is where Bird is, and he's going to handle you just beautifully as the day progresses. So head on out there and help us out. Phoenix Rescue mission says thank you in advance. Phil. Emails and. Oh, my God. Happy Valley Road. So dangerous. Bread should be. So. Yeah, it's not a place where you. Sounds like you're in peril at all. Happy Valley Road sounds like there's bunnies and unicorns bouncing around. But then you get that 39th Avenue in there, and you're like, oh, no, maybe it is bad. I've never been up there. I don't know what it's like. No idea what's at Happy Valley and 39th Avenue. Probably a smoke.

[Brady]

17.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, that right there scares me. I'm not getting too crazy up there either. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by All Pro Shade. You want to put some shade in that backyard of yours? They can do it easily, and you can get on it right now. The heat is here and it's here to stay. All Pro Shade Concepts can get you shaded mighty quick. Block out 95% of the sun's UV rays. Those are the bad ones. Cut your dust and wind and get a patio that you can use in these hot summer months. Drops the temperature up to like 20 degrees in some cases. That's pretty awesome. Get shady all pro shade.com Brady report it.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world.

[Brett]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Jerky Day.

[Brett]

All right.

[Brady]

And National Peanut Butter Cookie Day.

[Brett]

Bad combo. Terrible. Those do not pair well. Big sandwich jerky, peanut butter sandwich. You are a hillbilly. Your trailer will light on fire someday.

[Brady]

Hotel front desks may become a thing of the past. 70% of American travelers are more likely to check themselves into a hotel using an app or self service kiosk instead of walking up to the traditional front desk. And it goes even higher. 82% among Gen Z travelers.

[Brett]

I get that whenever I go to Vegas. I check in on the app on my plane. My key is on my phone.

[Brady]

The only thing is, you know, and checking out is every now and then. I guess I always think that, oh.

[Brett]

I just want to make sure I.

[Brady]

Get like if there's charges that are on there that I didn't do, you.

[Brett]

Can do that on the TV in your room and it can actually do it on your phone. I never check out. I just leave. And then they'll send you a list. You can call them later if it's bad.

[Brady]

Yeah, I've done it the last couple times.

[Brett]

I just leave. Checkout's a pain in the ass. And it's usually just like, okay, here you go. You know, I mean it's. They're gonna charge either way.

[Brady]

According to a report by the New York Times, Gen Z doesn't leave their tab open. Unlike their millennial predecessors like us. Yeah. Regardless of how many drinks they end up purchasing during a night out. There is personal finance professor at the University of Maryland said the generated the generational difference could be due to the budgeting habits of the younger adults. I also hear that that generation also is not. They're not going out to bars.

[Brett]

They don't go to bars. Hardly at all. They're. Yeah, they're not social like that. They don't leave their tab open. That's weird.

[Toledo]

Bartenders hate it because they go up, order a drink, close it out.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Over time leaving your tablet.

[Brady]

Credit card companies love that.

[Brett]

Convenient for you. Yeah. Yeah. Credit cards get a charge every time you go. Probably because Nobody's generous. They're all like, I'll buy around. Then you have to buy like, they're all round robins. And plus, they're. You know, they don't date. They don't. I don't know what's going on with that thing. That old generation's a mess.

[Brady]

The company that owns Keurig and Dr. Pepper and a bunch of other brands just released its first ever state of beverages report and found the most important drink of all.

[Brett]

Water.

[Brady]

People's favorite coffee. It's the top beverage Americans say they can't live without. 62% agree with that statement.

[Brett]

Is that scientifically untrue? I think you.

[Brady]

It's their survey. They said, my.

[Brett]

You could live without it. I think you need water more. And I know there's water in coffee, but it's a diuretic, so it actually dehydrates everything in it. Got to pee it up. That works the opposite. Yeah. People are dumb then, is what that study says.

[Brady]

Yeah, but. And then they say America's favorite beverage is soda. Sure, 53% and taste more than any other flavor.

[Brett]

But if you were asking the question, what's the one liquid you can't live without? And you don't answer. Water. You're just dumb because that's like, just fact. Like, nobody's gonna be crawling through the desert and, like, pass a puddle to get to a Starbucks.

[Brady]

No, but they're asking about every day, you know, like, sure. Hey, what beverage can you. Oh, I gotta have my coffee.

[Brett]

Sure. Yeah. A creature comfort.

[Brady]

Another company did their annual review based upon Yelp reviews on the best fast food. French fries.

[Brett]

McDonald's. It's not even close. I don't know why people even have this.

[Brady]

McDonald's. Wendy's is close second to last.

[Brett]

What? That's insane.

[Brady]

The restaurant Supply Company is one who analyzed 40,000 Yelp reviews that mentioned fries across 21 major fast food chains.

[Toledo]

Dare put In N Out up there.

[Brett]

Yeah. In N Out's frozen.

[Brady]

Number one.

[Brett]

No way. Those things taste like they're still frozen.

[Brady]

Shake Shack. Number two.

[Brett]

Those are good.

[Toledo]

And they're not frozen. They're fresh.

[Brett]

That's the problem, is they don't taste like I'm used to. They're weird. I'm not a fan of their fries at all.

[Brady]

Freddy's Frozen custard and Steak Burgers. Number three.

[Toledo]

Those are shoelace ones. They're like shoestring sticks.

[Brett]

Give me McDonald's Wendy's raising canes is.

[Toledo]

Is up there.

[Brett]

Chick Fil. A strong.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah, those Are waffles.

[Brett]

I'm getting hungry. Stop it.

[Brady]

They had bring back some waffle fries. Yeah. For some reason, McDonald's did not make that list.

[Brett]

But they always say, like ice cream.

[Toledo]

It's like voting Aaron judge to the all star game.

[Brett]

Of course he's there. Yeah, yeah. It's. It's not making Michael Jordan MVP every year he played because you just had to mix it up because you already knew who it really was. McDonald's is the best by far, so good. Except for when they miss. And occasionally you'll get a miss like the goof of the end of the pile of fries. And get those. Oh, yeah, rigid brown ones. All the.

[Toledo]

All the stragglers.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

We got a machete stabbing that happened in Florida. Stabbing. Yeah.

[Brett]

Wow.

[Brady]

Angel Ramos Arce, 35 years old, got into a verbal altercation at a circle K in Kissimmee, Florida, before stabbing the dude with the machete. It happened about 4, 5, 13pm the deputy was stopped by a woman claiming her brother was injured by some man talk. Talking to him. And then the dude that stabbed him with the machete drives the victim to the hospital.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. A little empathy afterwards. So he did.

[Brady]

He didn't work out well for him, though. He's still charged with.

[Brett]

Did he start the argument with a man with a machete? Because I can tell you right there that's the time to de. Escalate.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Somehow the guy. It doesn't say how it all rolled out.

[Brett]

You don't even side eye a guy with a machete.

[Brady]

Because they're basically saying all they found him is this guy drove him to the hospital. He was stabbed. Yeah, with the machete by this guy. If you know any further information about the incident, please contact.

[Brett]

Well, that guy over there without a machete. Sheriff looked at the guy with the machete and he said, what are you looking at? And then they were in the hospital. They were going to the hospital like seconds later. What is it in.

[Brady]

I'm sorry, man. Do that.

[Brett]

What are you looking at? Machete walking around with a machete and not doing some sort of weird jungle tour. But like he's bad news.

[Brady]

Like Toledo said. Stabbed.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's going straight in, man.

[Brady]

I guess some of them have that straight.

[Brett]

That's a saber edge cut. Either way, I see a guy with that kind of blade walking around and it's high. Hello, sir. I might actually just stay in the car.

[Toledo]

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[Brett]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

Scientists at the Royal Veterinarian College in the UK have released some very important research on dog diarrhea. They examined millions of dogs and found that one in every 12 dogs experienced diarrhea serious enough to go to the vet each year. But the risk was higher in six breeds compared to the average dog.

[Brett]

A veterinarian worthy diarrhea.

[Brady]

Of the dogs of six breeds that experience diarrhea more frequently.

[Brett]

Oh, hold on, you need a drum roll for this.

[Brady]

The Maltese. Oh, the miniature poodle.

[Brett]

Lots of diarrhea there. Oh, and hair. Oh, that's poopy butt.

[Brady]

The cava poo.

[Brett]

Okay, it's cavalier and a poodle.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

King Cav. King Cavalier.

[Brady]

King German Shepherd.

[Brett]

Again with the hair. Oh, Yorkshire terrier number one cockapoo. Well that's appropriate. That's how they got to know.

[Brady]

Interesting three poodle crossovers.

[Brett]

All of them have the hair that does not mix well with diarrhea.

[Brady]

Only two breeds, the Jack Russell and the Chihuahua Hua had a lower risk of diarrhea.

[Brett]

There's not much worse than poopy butt on a long haired dog. My old English sheepdog came in once and I was walked by me and Dutchie was the sweetest dog in the world. And that smell and she's wagging like she was so happy that like her stomach felt better or something. And then I watched her walk away and it was like she Sat on a German chocolate cake. It was everywhere. And scrubbing that off of her. Oh, my God. I had one of those I actually bought because of her hair, a rubber brush for. For butt scrubbing.

[Toledo]

For one of those ones that looks like it's got fangs in it.

[Brett]

Yeah. It's got little like bubbles.

[Toledo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

And just scrubbed her butt. And there was weirdness because she liked it.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

When I hit the hole.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I'm scrubbing the legs and she was like scrambling a little bit. I hit that hole and she stopped like. Yeah, that's the spot.

[Brady]

A couple weeks ago. Ziggy.

[Brett]

It happens.

[Brady]

The scrubbing wasn't working.

[Brett]

Gotta trim it.

[Brady]

Had to do some grooming.

[Brett]

I've used the trimmers that I use.

[Brady]

On my head clippings.

[Brett]

I will use the actual trimmers when my hair gets too long on dog butt. I don't think I've ever cleaned them. I gotta be honest. I don't think I've ever oiled those things or cleaned them. It's fin.

[Brady]

We had a 70 year old Florida man, he's facing charges for peeing on hundreds of cans of Spam at a Sam's Club. It was in Orlando. His name's Patrick Mitchell. It happened May 30th. He pleaded not guilty in court this week. Cop series at Sam's Club in Lady Lake, Florida, where he stopped to urinate on two pallets of canned goods, hundreds of cans, a pallet of Spam. And he also whizzed on a stack of Vienna sausages. The canned Vienna sausages.

[Brett]

Could I get a hundred cans of Spam with one pee?

[Brady]

Well, he's peeing on the palate.

[Brett]

I know, but I mean, they're counting like that.

[Toledo]

He didn't get them all.

[Brett]

But if he hit some Vienna sausages too. He was spinning. But he wrecks the whole thing.

[Toledo]

He was writing John is what he was.

[Brett]

That's right. He was walking and running. So if he was. So if you pee on a pallet, it. The whole thing.

[Brady]

He's lacing the side.

[Brett]

Yeah, the whole thing shot. I see.

[Brady]

And so he. He said after he whizzed, he zipped up and wandered around the snack section for a while. Sat down on some patio furniture for about 10 minutes, paid for everything in his cart and left. They id'd him using his Sam's Club card and arrested him at his home in the Village.

[Matthias]

Wow.

[Brett]

He got away with all of it in store.

[Brady]

Yeah. He's facing charges of disorderly conduct, criminal mischief. The second one's a felony because he damaged over a thousand dollars worth of merch. The store had to unload.

[Brett]

Both pals who got it.

[Brady]

3,300 cans of Vienna sausages.

[Brett]

They didn't throw it away. Gave it to a shelter. They did.

[Brady]

That's still.

[Brett]

Still good. It's in a can.

[Brady]

Still writing it off. It's, you know, the value is $10,585.

[Toledo]

If you're at a shelter then, and you see odd food, because I imagine, well, Vienna sausages, I'm like, that can't be on the menu a lot.

[Brett]

Right.

[Brady]

There's the wizard.

[Toledo]

You got to think somebody.

[Brett]

Something happened to something happened to it.

[Toledo]

There's a reason why it's.

[Brett]

They're just hoping that most of the people the shelter aren't keeping up with, like, Brady's news. Like, did you see we got two new pallets of Spam Guys, don't touch that stuff. I was reading the other day. I'm hungry too. Yeah, I know, I know. We're all hungry.

[Toledo]

There's a show I listen to.

[Brett]

I listen to a morning show still. And. Yeah, don't eat that.

[Brady]

Nintendo Switch 2 is the fastest selling game console of all time.

[Toledo]

Crazy.

[Brady]

It reached a record breaking 3.5 million units in four days.

[Brett]

That's amazing. And they were running short. Like, they had lines around the block for that. Yeah. By the way, somebody has thrown in the word. The rallies for best fries. You're right. When you get a good rally, it's in there. It's really good.

[Toledo]

Except for fresh.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. But some rallies get, like, dirty. Yeah. And you get, like, a bad. But, man, when they're good, they're right. That's up there. All right, I'm with you. All right. Fred, you got any videos?

[Brady]

Got some. Got some pretty.

[Brett]

Vince, the day off from Brett. Thank God.

[Brady]

Let's see the first one. Oh, I've looked at this a couple times. This girl stumbles. She's clearing off a table. She's at a bar.

[Brett]

It's a bar restaurant. She's a waitress.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It's like some sort of weird night vision video. She's cleaning a table. She's the last one there. It's two in the morning, probably. She stumbles over a chair. Oh. Goes right through the glass window in the front. Oh, my God. Oh, how fast it could all end.

[Brady]

I'm seeing if this is like a stunt.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. I mean, what's the point of the stunt at all? She. Lucille Ball. It's like she slapped the comedian. Just wanted to prove it.

[Brady]

Two hands on the viral, bro. Two hands on the tray.

[Brett]

She didn't spill any of that tray till she hits the front window. That thing. Yeah. Put the tray down and brace yourself. Wow. Is she dead? I'll never forget that. That my dad. Whenever I see somebody hit a window like that when we were in San Diego, my story about my dad is so great. We all barbecuing, and I.

[Toledo]

It's your fault, right?

[Brett]

Oh, it's completely my fault. So he's running in and out with barbecue trays. Shuts the sliding glass door. Or I did, because I went inside and he was still outside by the grill. Shuts the door. He comes back with dinner on the plate. He's done grilling. Burgers stacked up. He's got the buns in another hand, a spatula. He's like, barbecue, man. And he didn't know I'd shut the door. And Marcy Holmberg kept a clean house. That glass was clean. And dad hit it so hard, the whole house moved. And the food was everywhere. And the window just goes for like 20 minutes. And he's standing outside just in a pure fury, looking at all the food he's prepared on the ground. And all the money's just dollar signs floating around him. Who shut this goddamn door? And me and my sister are laughing because it made a dad imprint on the door. His greasy face from barbecuing slapped. His big nose, looked like Carl Malden's face just pressed up against our. And he smashes up against the glass. And for whatever reason, the quote of my lifetime. And I still don't understand it. And I was supposed to, like, I stopped laughing when I saw how mad he was. And he looked us both just dead in the eyes, and he goes, that's how one of the Supremes died. We still don't know if that's true or not. I still. I looked as many. Sometimes when I think of the Supremes, I always look, which supreme walk through window. I don't think it happened. I think he was in a concussion. And, like. But that's how he was telling us kids we were idiots, you know, that's how one of the Supremes died. I'm like, okay, are we not supposed to laugh at that? Because that just got funnier. You've got cte, old man.

[Brady]

Was it the sneak preview of Undercover Brother with an old man?

[Brett]

Old man ran into the windows middle of the day at Chris Town Harkins. Brady and I were at Kristown Harkins, which was a stretch in the first place. To see Undercover Brother. And an old man couldn't find the door. And he just smashed into one of the windows that he thought was a door, hit the ground, and then shouted at the top of his lungs in an empty theater.

[Brady]

Why?

[Brett]

And then empathetic Brady and empathetic John laughed for 40 minutes. I was in tears. And the wife went over like it has happened several times. And in fairness to him, all the windows had a bar across the center.

[Brady]

It's deceptive.

[Brett]

And so did the doors. You had to know where the doors were. So he just walked where he thought that that bar across the center of the window would push open, and it didn't. And he faced it. And the whole harkens. That safety glass doesn't break. It just wobbles. He cursed God. He was talking to his savior that he had been forsaken. All he is is just like a bird now. He's just. He thought that was an opening.

[Brady]

Next one's little league football. Little goal line stance here.

[Brett]

Find out if that's how. One of the supremes I'm on just.

[Toledo]

Went through three of the four of them and nothing mentioned on any of it.

[Brett]

It's goal line stand, Brady, not stand. Yeah, stance would be like a pose. Like gay football. All right, kids running around the corner off the left end, strips one tail. Oh, and then another kid at the goal lines up like a six yard run. Once he gets to the goal line, an adult smashes this child. Oh, my God. And he led with his helmet. That's a 15 yard penalty. Oh, my God. That's just.

[Toledo]

He's not experiencing heads up play.

[Brett]

No, that is. That other kid is in a wheelchair. Sorry, son, you've been shaziered right there on the field. My God. You wonder why single moms don't want their kids to play football. That video right there, is it too.

[Toledo]

Soon for that adjective?

[Brett]

Shaziered? Yeah, probably.

[Brady]

We got a fight on this one. And the guy is. I call it landscaping fight because he gets pretty creative. Here goes to the plant.

[Brett]

Oh, he pulls a plant out of the ground. The stabilizing pole stick that holds it straight. And it's me, it's a guy. We start beating him with this stick. Oh, the other guy's got some karate skills. The dude taking the beating roll. And then he's running away like, oh, on the head. Caught him in the head with it. Oh, and now it's the stick guy is gonna win this fight. Nobody's trying to stop this. There's a guy leaning on a tree with his phone. There's a dude leaning on a tree right next to the fight. Like it's just an everyday thing.

[Toledo]

Did he just bow up?

[Brady]

That's right. Yeah. But watch the second hit on. If you can hear the audio.

[Brett]

Ow. Yeah. The first one, he pulls that stick right out of the ground. And then I'm standing there. It's me versus a Jo Koy, I think. Yeah, the Owls are pretty good. Yeah. You didn't know that was gonna hurt, did you? We work on that at Tactical Black, fighting against dudes with sticks. Oh, and there's some owls involved. But the last thing you should do is ball up. You gotta get your arm out of there. You gotta hit that thing and bow it and then step forward. You gotta get inside the stick. Cause if you're at stick hitting distance, the business end of that stick means more. Don't get hit with a stick. And also, if a guy's got a big stick you just pulled out of the ground, start running.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Maybe not stick around.

[Brett]

There's no shame in that. I don't know how mad you can be at somebody. Like, again, the machete guy. I see a dude with machete, he automatically wins. I am not gonna mouth off to machete guy. If you're willing to walk publicly with a machete, you're probably willing to use it.

[Brady]

It's not like the movies where the guy smiling, like, finally takes a knife out on me. Come on.

[Brett]

Yeah. And then you do the come get me. No, it's not. He's got a machete. That's not normal. Kids, get back in the car. It's age 17. We're going to check in with Brett again in just moments. He's over there at 39th Avenue and Happy Valley, the scariest place in Phoenix, according to Brett, because it's an avenue. He's at the Safeway. Operation Hydration cooking right along. You can get out there and drop some stuff off. We'll chat with Brett next. It's 98 KU50. There goes your Brady Report. Morning sickness. 98 KD.

[Toledo]

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[Brett]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. It's 98 KUP. Sorry, I just. I've been. I'm distracted. Something horrible has happened in the. People keep bothering me with the information that Dua Lipa is engaged to someone named Callum Turner. It's tough. Tough, Brady. It's tough. I'll get over it. But a lot of people are sending me pictures of the happy couple and replacing Callum's head with mine. And it's just mean. It's just flat mean. I tell you the lead story. He looks like a nice young man. Congratulations, sir. He's won the battle. The war rages on. Our guest today, Michael Longfellow, has met Billy for a couple of times.

[Brady]

Come on.

[Brett]

She's been on Saturday Night Live. Probably kept his distance, but he's a good looking guy. He should have made that move. Michael's from Phoenix. We'll talk to him a little bit. Brett's out there this morning, 39th Avenue and Happy Valley. And Brett, you're complaining about being in the Avenues. A guy emailed and said where Bert is today is like the Mini Gilbert of the West Valley without Mormons and crushing judgment. So you're in a really nice area. You're in a good spot. Happy Valley Road is not where any murders happen.

[Matthias]

It's still an avenue. It connects to Maryvale at some point.

[Brett]

Everything does, though. All right, I see. So the Ave makes you nervous. You're just worried about Adam. Yes. Our. Our Indian albino came out to the van this morning.

[Matthias]

Yes. And he actually showed up carrying three cases.

[Brett]

He did it himself. He brought his own.

[Matthias]

Brought him out of the car. Brought his own.

[Brett]

I'm like, good man. All right, so you covered him up himself.

[Matthias]

So his mom came out and hooked him up.

[Brett]

His mom was with him?

[Matthias]

Yep.

[Brett]

Is she Indian or Albino which side did he get it from?

[Matthias]

Definitely not her side.

[Brett]

Okay, gotcha. Understood.

[Matthias]

She is not albino by any means.

[Brett]

He had to lose his mind if you gave him Pantera tickets because you said you hooked him up.

[Matthias]

Oh, are you kidding me? Of course.

[Brett]

If you're an Indian albino and you show up, you're getting something from us. All Indian albinos are constant. That's the gift of being an Indian albino, and I know it's not gonna break the station. Wherever you show up, you get a prize. That's the. That's the trade off for being an Indian albino, because you're the only one. Like, you're a unicorn. You should always get a prize for just going out in the daytime.

[Matthias]

Oh, absolutely. He comes out every.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Matthias]

And he's from Tempe, too. He came all the way up here for this.

[Brett]

Yeah. The sun is out. He should be inside his teepee or whatever he's in and not go out as an Indian albino. But there he is, risking it all. He should get prizes. And we gave him tickets to Pantera, and I'm sure he lost his mine. How's it going out there this morning? Good.

[Matthias]

It's going good. After I called out the west side, man, they are showing up in droves. The guys from Republic showed up, threw me 125 bucks.

[Brett]

Nice.

[Matthias]

Brutus just showed up with 100 bucks. Thunder Horse showed up with some water. Everybody's just showing the love here and doing great with the donations up here.

[Brett]

So glorious.

[Matthias]

Even though it's an avenue, it was definitely worth coming up here for, because, again, it's for the charity, for sure.

[Brett]

That's beautiful. Awesome. And the Pantera tickets, I don't know if you got any more. You got the Offspring, you got all sorts of stuff, and people are popping by, loading you up with envelopes full of cash and water. It's all for great cause. A Phoenix Rescue Mission. 5th largest city in the nation. We should never hear about people who need water to make it through a day. That is for sure. So we're helping them out, and the Phoenix Rescue Mission does great work. Awesome job, Brett. We'll talk to you in a little while.

[Toledo]

Thanks.

[Matthias]

We'll see you.

[Brett]

There you go. Brett out there with the Indian albino. That's a sighting, man.

[Brady]

Look forward to meeting him.

[Brett]

That's like a phrase that you like. Even the phrase is unique. I've met him. You met him? Yeah, we met him at the Halloween show when we played Slayer, and he lost his mind, like, you're not an Indian. He goes, I'm an albino. And I'm like, that's. Come on, here's a prize. That's just the way life has to work. Michael Longfellow is going to join us in a little bit from snl. And from Phoenix. He's back home. This is his home. We'll talk to Michael next. It's 98 KUPD. It's out of control now. 98 K.