06-12-25 - Michael Longfellow - SNL - Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Michael Longfellow on His Journey to SNL and Beyond

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

Host: John Holmberg

Guest: Michael Longfellow

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1. Welcome and Introduction

John Holmberg kicks off the episode by warmly welcoming Michael Longfellow back to Arizona, highlighting his roots at Desert Mountain and his impressive achievement of landing a spot on Saturday Night Live (SNL). Holmberg sets a friendly and engaging tone, making listeners feel at home while celebrating Michael's local ties and national success.

2. From Desert Mountain to Los Angeles

The conversation delves into Michael's transition from Desert Mountain High School to Arizona State University (ASU). Holmberg teases Michael about his move to Los Angeles shortly after college, hinting at his ambition and readiness to pursue a career in comedy.

Michael Longfellow shares, “I knew I needed to go to LA or New York” (02:12).

3. Early Career and Breakthroughs

Michael recounts his initial steps in the comedy scene, including opening for established comedians which eventually led to his being noticed by key figures in the industry.

Holmberg recalls, “You opened for somebody... and I saw you on SNL like a year later” (02:27). This highlights the rapid progression of Michael's career from local gigs to national television.

4. The SNL Experience

A significant portion of the discussion centers around Michael's tenure at SNL. He describes the grind and intensity of working on the show, balancing creativity with the demanding schedule.

Michael Longfellow explains, “The grind has to be insane” (08:43), emphasizing the challenges faced by cast members. He also shares a memorable encounter with Lorne Michaels, noting, “He saw me at a showcase... It was surreal” (02:35).

5. Personal Life and Relationships

Holmberg and Michael touch upon Michael's personal life, including his long-term relationship and how it has remained stable despite his rising fame. Michael humorously contemplates the idea of a prenup, reflecting on his supportive girlfriend who is a digital media analyst.

Michael Longfellow remarks, “She laughs at her own jokes a lot” (16:11), illustrating the dynamic and supportive nature of his relationship.

6. Family Dynamics and Upbringing

The conversation explores Michael's family background, particularly his parents' divorce shortly after his birth and how it shaped his personality and approach to comedy. Michael shares insights into living between his divorced parents' homes, which fostered different facets of his comedic persona.

Michael Longfellow shares, “I'm a writer at dad's and a performer at mom's” (13:54), highlighting how his upbringing influenced his dual approach to life and comedy.

7. Comedy Influences and Inspirations

Michael discusses his comedic inspirations, mentioning Jeff Dunham and the impact of meeting established comedians like Jon Lovitz. He reflects on how these interactions have both inspired and challenged him to carve his own path in the industry.

Michael Longfellow notes, “I'll never be Jeff Dunham” (15:25), showcasing his awareness of the uniqueness required to succeed in comedy.

8. Local Comedy Scene and Future Aspirations

Returning to his hometown, Michael expresses enthusiasm for the Phoenix comedy scene, praising its vibrancy and the potential for emerging talent. He hopes to inspire local comedians and contribute to the growth of Arizona's comedic landscape.

Michael Longfellow states, “There's a lot of stuff here. It should get a lot more people popping out” (19:14), indicating his commitment to nurturing local talent.

9. Paintball and Personal Hobbies

In a lighter segment, Michael shares his recent experience with paintball, humorously linking his childhood aspirations of owning a cool gun with his current pastime.

Michael Longfellow quips, “Sniper would be my preferred way of combat” (18:34), adding a playful touch to the conversation.

10. Words of Wisdom and Closing Thoughts

As the episode nears its end, Holmberg invites Michael to leave listeners with his words of wisdom. Michael playfully responds with surreal and humorous thoughts on AI and relationships, showcasing his characteristic comedic flair.

Michael Longfellow humorously suggests, “If you could AI like yourself... Would I have sex with it? Yes” (20:07).

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Notable Quotes

• Michael Longfellow: “I knew I needed to go to LA or New York.” (02:12)
• Michael Longfellow: “The grind has to be insane.” (08:43)
• Michael Longfellow: “I'm a writer at dad's and a performer at mom's.” (13:54)
• Michael Longfellow: “I'll never be Jeff Dunham.” (15:25)
• Michael Longfellow: “Sniper would be my preferred way of combat.” (18:34)

Conclusion

John Holmberg's interview with Michael Longfellow offers an insightful look into the life of a comedian who has successfully navigated the transition from local stages to the national spotlight of SNL. Michael's candid discussions about his career challenges, personal life, and comedic inspirations provide valuable perspectives for aspiring comedians and fans alike. The episode not only celebrates Michael's achievements but also underscores the supportive and vibrant comedy community in Arizona.

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Thank you for tuning into Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD. Stay connected by tuning in weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most.

[Holmberg]

Trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. Morning sickness. All right, now we're on air now. Michael. Michael Longfellow's here. Welcome him home, everybody, because this is your. That's you right there. This is your. This is your home, and you're an ASU guy. Desert Mountain. We just found out you went to Desert Mountain, and there you go. Now you're on SNL and you're killing it and coming back here. Just. It's waving your dick around.

[Michael Longfellow]

Thanks, man. I'm doing my best.

[Holmberg]

That's awesome.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah, dude.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. And you're just. It's got to be so weird coming back.

[Michael Longfellow]

It's. I mean. Yeah. I don't know. It's not weird. It's cool now, is it? It's way awesome. Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Do you get to do.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah. How often do you come back?

[Michael Longfellow]

Not as often as I should. Just the holidays are when I'm doing.

[Holmberg]

Parents are still here.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Mom is.

[Michael Longfellow]

Mom's here. Everyone's here.

[Holmberg]

Everyone's still here. So when you come back to you. Because this is what I would do. You, like, find people that you thought that doubted you and then just, like, find them and just, like, find them a safe way or just wander by. You try to find people to get revenge.

[Michael Longfellow]

Totally.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. That's what I would do.

[Michael Longfellow]

I mean, that's probably why I started. Comedy was like, two people were like, you're not funny or something.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

Hang out with the guys.

[Michael Longfellow]

Then you get. By the time they, like, you know, maybe you're, like, cool enough that you don't care anymore.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. You stop caring.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah. You're like, I don't care.

[Holmberg]

I'm better than this. It's so good. Yeah. It's such a cool thing. So you graduated at Desert Mountain. You go to asu. You immediately leave. Right. Like, after issue. Did you stick around here for a while? You went right to la. Like, you knew.

[Michael Longfellow]

Around for, like, a couple months. I knew I needed to go to LA or New York.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

And then, yeah, I opened for someone and they helped me move to.

[Holmberg]

Because, yeah, I remember you. I can't remember who it was, but you opened for somebody. And the cringe factor always of the guy opening, talking about how he's from Phoenix. I'm like, oh, local. And you're just assuming. And you were great.

[Michael Longfellow]

Thank you.

[Holmberg]

And I couldn't remember who it was. And I remember that guy's good. Like, he was really, like, you were funny. Like immediately. And I was like, that's fantastic. And then I forgot who you opened for. And then off you went. And I remember next time I saw you, I think it was on snl. I'm like, holy crap, I saw that. I saw Jimmy Fallon open for the lady who played Alice in the Brady Bunch movies.

[Michael Longfellow]

Really?

[Holmberg]

Yeah. And she was so bad, she started giving posters away. Fallon killed. And nobody knew who he was yet. So it was kind of that same thing. I'm like, that guy's great. And then there you were on SNL like a year later. How did you get from that stage at Bridget's last laugh to SNL?

[Michael Longfellow]

What was the route, LA? Yeah, for six years I went to LA. I did like a Conan set. I don't know.

[Holmberg]

You just started doing comedy like every.

[Michael Longfellow]

Day for 10 years.

[Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Michael Longfellow]

Lorne was in the audience once or something.

[Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Is that true? Lorne Michaels just showed up and he's like that guy right there.

[Michael Longfellow]

I mean, it was like at a showcase thing. Yeah, there was an SNL related and. Yeah, he saw.

[Holmberg]

Did you know he was out?

[Michael Longfellow]

I didn't know he was out there. No.

[Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Unnamed Guest]

So it wasn't at a freak off or anything like that?

[Michael Longfellow]

It wasn't.

[Holmberg]

You've been to a freak off yet now that you're kind of in the whole mix?

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah. I've never seen Lauren there though.

[Holmberg]

No. That's good. Nice move. That was. That's proof Lauren's been the one right there. That's not immediately trained to say Lauren was not at the freak off I was at. He doesn't do that, you know. Lauren's seen some stuff though.

[Michael Longfellow]

Sure.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

I. I love.

[Holmberg]

Of course you love. Lauren is God. Never been in a free gulf according to Michael Longfellow, but not the ones I've been. We know for sure. Michael's at Desert Ridge Improv this weekend. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. DesertRidgeimprov.com is where you get tickets. So you come back here, you're a Diamondbacks fan. You're like local, everything. Do you do any. Is there anything you miss that you're gonna do when you're here?

[Michael Longfellow]

I mean, I'm gonna go to a D Vax game on Sunday, hopefully.

[Holmberg]

Are you. You're going to go see him?

[Michael Longfellow]

Anything that I miss?

[Holmberg]

That's Father's Day to do.

[Michael Longfellow]

I used to just play World of Warcraft. I didn't really do a lot.

[Holmberg]

Were you a popular kid at Desert Mountain?

[Michael Longfellow]

No, but I wasn't on. I think it was Just not a great anything. Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Just the guy that, you know, vacillated to everybody. Yeah. And you. And you said off the air, and I don't know if this is a lie or not. You used to listen to this stupid show.

[Michael Longfellow]

Dude, I listened to you on the way to high school.

[Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Michael Longfellow]

Middle school. Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Isn't it creepy meeting me, though?

[Michael Longfellow]

It's. It's cool. You're one of the few radio guys because you always. You listen to people and then you look them up and you're like, what? Ask what they look like. And I, for some reason, had.

[Holmberg]

You nailed it. Exactly what I look like.

[Michael Longfellow]

Exactly what I thought.

[Holmberg]

Kind of chemotherapy patient with a big nose.

[Michael Longfellow]

I. In different words. Yeah. That's actually pretty. That's better than mine.

[Holmberg]

That's fairly accurate. Yeah. So, yeah, you're back here and you're gonna go to Diamondback.

[Unnamed Guest]

It's good to hear in a way.

[Holmberg]

You picture Brady to look like that.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yes.

[Holmberg]

You just had this figured out.

[Michael Longfellow]

It's just gold for some reason.

[Unnamed Guest]

Nailed it.

[Michael Longfellow]

This station. Nailed.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, we. We're upset and you've met her, so I just need you to give me the. The basic vibe. Dua Lipa is engaged. That just happened this morning. That's heartbreaking to so many, including myself.

[Michael Longfellow]

I.

[Holmberg]

You've been in a room with her.

[Michael Longfellow]

I have.

[Holmberg]

And did you have the vibes that maybe there was a chance for you?

[Michael Longfellow]

I mean.

[Holmberg]

No, no, not at all.

[Michael Longfellow]

I briefly met Dua Lipa at the end of the show where the credits are, like, rolling.

[Holmberg]

So during the week when you're at, like, readings and, like, stuff, you kind of are in there, but you don't get to interact.

[Michael Longfellow]

Oh, wait, she hosted, didn't she? That's right. No. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I'm not in the show, so you're not, like, interacting.

[Holmberg]

So when you're.

[Michael Longfellow]

I can't remember that week.

[Holmberg]

When you don't have much to do on a show, do you go, like, hang out for the whole thing or you just wander around 30 Rock.

[Michael Longfellow]

You're there, you know, for the writing days. You're there.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

And then it depends on, you know, half the sketches rehearsed, like, Thursday and then Friday and so. So when you find out, sometimes you might just slip out, pop in for a little one rehearsal, and that's it.

[Holmberg]

Really?

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

That's kind of cool, actually. Get a day off, you don't even know you had it.

[Michael Longfellow]

It's good and bad.

[Holmberg]

No, it's horrible.

[Michael Longfellow]

There's a couple of those in a Row. You're like. You feel. You know, you're technically off, so you.

[Holmberg]

Go get, like, something to eat and then go back for the end.

[Michael Longfellow]

Pretend I'm not stressed.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. And then you're just riding.

[Unnamed Guest]

I'm busy riding.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah. Thinking of. That's what you always say you're going to do. I'll just get a head start on next week.

[Holmberg]

And you don't.

[Michael Longfellow]

No. You just kind of.

[Holmberg]

So the afterparty with Dua Lipa, you didn't go.

[Michael Longfellow]

I did go.

[Holmberg]

And nothing. You didn't. You didn't even take the opportunity to just touch her. God, I would bother her. I don't like bothering people either, but that one is one.

[Unnamed Guest]

Then who would be one that.

[Holmberg]

Who did.

[Unnamed Guest]

I'm like, all right, I got to.

[Michael Longfellow]

I mean, Jack Black.

[Holmberg]

That was pretty cool.

[Michael Longfellow]

That was cool.

[Holmberg]

The 50th had to be unreal. 50th was surreal because you're in a sketch. I remember the one with you and it was Eddie Murphy's in it.

[Michael Longfellow]

And Thompson. Yeah. I'd never. It was just an easy week at work, too, because we kind of had all the.

[Holmberg]

It was done.

[Michael Longfellow]

There's so many legends that everyone else did it. So I just showing up for like a short day and then. Yeah, I was like tearing up and.

[Holmberg]

It had to be insane.

[Michael Longfellow]

It was crazy. It caught me for sure.

[Holmberg]

Because you're like two years in at that point, right? Or his third year.

[Michael Longfellow]

That was my third year.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. And then they throw this bomb at.

[Michael Longfellow]

You, and you see Richard Dreyfus is sitting behind me in the audience because all we. They all sat us in the audience. And then. Yeah, it was like the first time I was like, dude, Phoenix. And then. Yeah, he's yelling at me.

[Holmberg]

Bridget's Last laugh to this.

[Michael Longfellow]

It's like the first time I did that, I was like, duh. That's crazy.

[Holmberg]

Are you the only person who's been on the stage of Bridget's Last Laugh that has been on television for something other than a felony?

[Michael Longfellow]

I'm.

[Holmberg]

I'm pretty sure.

[Michael Longfellow]

Probably. Maybe Laughs on Fox has a couple.

[Unnamed Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Has a couple of people have bounced.

[Michael Longfellow]

But like, real tv, probably Bridget's is like, yeah.

[Holmberg]

Scripted television.

[Michael Longfellow]

Bridgets is the path.

[Holmberg]

Not like Cops. Yeah. You think so? I think people have skipped that for me. You played Bridget's Last Laugh, dude. Multiple times.

[Michael Longfellow]

All the time.

[Holmberg]

Isn't that crazy?

[Michael Longfellow]

Weekly.

[Holmberg]

And did well there.

[Michael Longfellow]

I remember doing well there and it being like a big thing.

[Holmberg]

Unreal.

[Michael Longfellow]

I was like, maybe I'm next step.

[Holmberg]

And did you feel like John Henry.

[Michael Longfellow]

When he respected me? It was huge.

[Holmberg]

And he doesn't anymore?

[Michael Longfellow]

No, but I don't think he did in the beginning.

[Holmberg]

He gave you a little love once.

[Michael Longfellow]

But then he was like, yeah. He was like, all right.

[Unnamed Guest]

Got the nod.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. And in your first couple days at snl, you're like, it's got to be insane. What is the. What is the quiet, the pacing? Because I've gotten to be friends with Jon Lovitz, and his one thing is. So he's amazing, except for when he's your friend, because he likes the phone a lot.

[Michael Longfellow]

I went by and just said hi, and then he gave me advice for, like, 30 minutes.

[Holmberg]

He'll do that, too. Yeah. And it's great, and it's good. But then, like, he'll call you on his drive home for no reason. There's. There's a weird, surreal moment with me because I was idolized John when I was a kid. And then now that I've gotten to be friends with him, I've had to tell him to shut up. I went off the phone, and it's so strange to tell somebody that used to look up to, like, I don't want to talk to you anymore. But it's like, you'll get. You'll get that all the time with that. But Saturday Night Live guys find you, and he always talks about the grind was brutal. Being on the show is the best time of his life, and he can't. He's like, when you're not there, you feel like you miss it. But the grind has to be insane.

[Michael Longfellow]

That makes sense. That sounds like it will all be right. Yeah, the grind is. Yeah, the grind's a lot, but it's, like, better than not being on the show. So it's all good. Problems.

[Holmberg]

It's crazy.

[Michael Longfellow]

It's like, more moments of stress. But I'm dressed as a frog, so it's like, what am I. What am I really stressed? Before, I was, like, stressed about being a failure.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

And my girlfriend's boyfriend were like, their parents are eating comedy stuff.

[Holmberg]

That's true. What about ex girlfriends?

[Michael Longfellow]

Work?

[Holmberg]

How does this work?

[Michael Longfellow]

I've been with my girlfriend for, like, eight years.

[Holmberg]

Eight years from. You're young.

[Michael Longfellow]

You only have, like, one ex girlfriend.

[Holmberg]

You only have one ex girlfriend.

[Michael Longfellow]

One or two.

[Holmberg]

You don't parade this around her a little bit. If any bitter people that we can mention on the air that could hear this, anyone that you'd be like, take.

[Michael Longfellow]

That, sir Teacher, Mrs. Raycraft.

[Holmberg]

Who's that?

[Michael Longfellow]

She's a computer teacher. I just remember being quiet.

[Unnamed Guest]

I went out with her.

[Holmberg]

She was awful.

[Michael Longfellow]

No.

[Holmberg]

I don't even know.

[Michael Longfellow]

I could be screwing up if she was super nice. And I'm thinking of a different her.

[Holmberg]

Name is Ray Kraft.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah, I was a good student.

[Holmberg]

Were you? You were just a normal kid.

[Michael Longfellow]

I just. Yeah. I played World of Warcraft and I didn't want to get in trouble because my dad would take it away. So I just like didn't do anything bad.

[Holmberg]

How?

[Michael Longfellow]

When I got to college.

[Holmberg]

When did you know you were a stand up? When did you know you were like wanted that?

[Michael Longfellow]

I remember wanting to do it like sophomore, junior year of high school. Secretly.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

But when I had to like actually choose what I want to do in my life.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Morning Sickness Medicate K u p D.

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[Holmberg]

By texting 64,000. You agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Hose. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pocket hose.com terms Holmberg's morning sickness. What was ASU about? Where'd you go for that?

[Michael Longfellow]

ASU was. I had to go to college. I tried to like go to.

[Holmberg]

You had to?

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Parents. Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

Literature degree.

[Holmberg]

Really?

[Michael Longfellow]

Clearly. I had no idea you got a B.A.

[Holmberg]

So you got.

[Michael Longfellow]

I got a B.A. in literature. But even before I started, I was like, I want to be a comedian.

[Holmberg]

Really?

[Michael Longfellow]

I'll just drop out of this a couple of, you know, get the parents their little.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, give them a little. Give a little taste, let it out and then do your thing.

[Michael Longfellow]

And then I finished. I finished the last two years online because I was like, I'm gonna need to travel for comedy then. I didn't go anywhere really. But it was still.

[Holmberg]

It's the same thing.

[Michael Longfellow]

It's the same thing exactly.

[Unnamed Guest]

When you the, you know, head out to la, how are the folks? They're like, all right, I scholarship you for a year.

[Michael Longfellow]

My dad was worried for sure. But my mom was supportive immediately. She was like, I think she was just excited to say I was interested in anything.

[Holmberg]

Did your dad think you were funny? No, my dad didn't think I was.

[Michael Longfellow]

Funny at all because they're divorced. So I have kind of like two different personalities at each one of their houses. My mom was like, yeah, that's the only thing I could imagine you doing. And then my dad was like, you don't talk. But that's just because I had like, yeah, a couple pairs of step. He would move new people into the house every. You know. And so I was like, I just got comfortable with these last ones. And then I get like two teenage stepbrothers. Just bullies move into my house.

[Holmberg]

They started working you.

[Michael Longfellow]

I just stayed in my room.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

You know.

[Holmberg]

So at his house, you're dead quiet. You're a thinker.

[Michael Longfellow]

I'm a writer at dad's house and mom's house.

[Holmberg]

You're a performer.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah, I'm like ADHD manic at mom.

[Holmberg]

This is working out great. You're working your material out at dad's in your head. You get. And put it on the stage at moms.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah, exactly.

[Holmberg]

That's brilliant.

[Michael Longfellow]

It was great.

[Holmberg]

I wish my parents got divorced earlier.

[Michael Longfellow]

I do.

[Holmberg]

My dad.

[Michael Longfellow]

They were never even together in my conscious lifetime.

[Unnamed Advertiser]

Really?

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah. Like six months after I was born, they got divorced.

[Holmberg]

Was it because of you? You think you were the way.

[Michael Longfellow]

No, I think it was my sister.

[Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Michael Longfellow]

My mom is pregnant with her. So that's like probably her fault.

[Holmberg]

Six months after you were born, she was pregnant. That's not how it works.

[Michael Longfellow]

Not six months. They were 14 months apart.

[Holmberg]

That's about right.

[Michael Longfellow]

All I know is before I had thoughts, man.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Before you knew what was going on, there was no dad in the house and you still had to go to his house everywhere once in a while.

[Michael Longfellow]

They were great.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Which is awesome. A couple Christmases you got it all together.

[Unnamed Guest]

Stayed in town.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

Nice.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah. They live like 15 minutes away.

[Holmberg]

That's great. And of course dad, who didn't think you were funny, now brags about how funny you are to everybody.

[Michael Longfellow]

Of course.

[Holmberg]

That's what my dad did.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah. I don't know if he thinks of his favorite comedian is Jeff Donna. Oh, I'll never be as fun.

[Holmberg]

You're never going to be Jeff Donna.

[Michael Longfellow]

I love that. I've seen a lot of Jeff Donald too. Just because my dad has him on the tv. He's got some stuff.

[Holmberg]

He's great. He came in here once without the puppets. No. And still did it.

[Michael Longfellow]

Is he funny?

[Holmberg]

It's not as funny. It doesn't work as well when it's just his hand or nothing. It's like when he has the puppets direction. They did the hand for one of them. Like. Well, he doesn't. One of them is just a trigger. So I remember he did a thumb. Like he was like a lighter. And I'm like, this isn't working. And then he did like I closed my eyes and jalapeno on a stick got funny again for a second and. But it wasn't there. And then he pulled Walter out, which was fantastic. Walter's pretty funny. Yeah. You'll never be Jeff Dunham. You're dead. You only did that once.

[Unnamed Guest]

So.

[Michael Longfellow]

And that's fine.

[Holmberg]

Isn't that great that your dad will scream at you One day. You're no Jeff Dunham like whenever you get.

[Michael Longfellow]

No, I had an uncle sake those talking crap about him. I think just because I was like man, that he's. He came up at Thanksgiving or something and my uncle was like, you're just mad. Jeff Dunham's funnier than you. I'll never forget it. I'll forget my kids names before I forget that.

[Holmberg]

Is your girlfriend different now that you've had all this success? That's. No, she stayed the same.

[Michael Longfellow]

Awesome. Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. So she was supportive while you were at Bridget's?

[Michael Longfellow]

She was supportive. She would have to.

[Holmberg]

You're doing open micrs. She's here.

[Michael Longfellow]

She had like a normal job and.

[Holmberg]

What does she do?

[Michael Longfellow]

She's a digital media analyst.

[Holmberg]

Oh wow.

[Michael Longfellow]

Like a math degree.

[Holmberg]

Like she's got some brains.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah. Comedy related at all?

[Holmberg]

Not funny even probably.

[Michael Longfellow]

She's funny in her own way.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

Her own dark mathematical writer, but yeah, she makes funny.

[Holmberg]

Does she know she's funny or is she one of those black.

[Michael Longfellow]

She laughs at her own jokes a lot. Which is kind of funny.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

To me it's always good.

[Holmberg]

That's weird. So yeah, you're staying with like this is that thing where you're like, all right, she was there in the beginning, she's here now. Nothing's different. We're doing this.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah. I thought about, you know, being a hack and just dumping my girl.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

Tv, sure. Like Bette Midler or something. But I love her and so it's like not a choice.

[Holmberg]

Now wait, you were going to dump her for Bette Midler?

[Michael Longfellow]

You know, you're like, oh, I'm on TV. Maybe I'll be.

[Holmberg]

You'll start swinging.

[Michael Longfellow]

14 year old me would be like, dude, what are you doing? You're on the. But I love her.

[Holmberg]

So then what are you going to do? Love conquers all, they say. Yeah. Get a prenup because you're going to be famous.

[Michael Longfellow]

I don't know. I think she still makes a little money.

[Holmberg]

For now she's doing.

[Unnamed Guest]

Let her know right now I would.

[Michael Longfellow]

Like to take half of her stuff.

[Holmberg]

Okay, well then get a prenup and do that.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

Let's make sure this. Are you gonna pop?

[Michael Longfellow]

My dad is a retired divorce attorney.

[Holmberg]

Here we go. This is perfect. Yeah, this is great. Michael Longfellow's at Desert Ridge Improv. Tonight, tomorrow and Sunday. Or actually tomorrow you're. This Thursday, isn't it? You're not here tonight. What are you doing tonight?

[Michael Longfellow]

I don't know. What should I do tonight?

[Holmberg]

I don't know. Find something around here.

[Michael Longfellow]

I was paintballing last night.

[Holmberg]

Did you go here?

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

You were in town last night?

[Michael Longfellow]

We went for a meal with Keith's birthday, and I remember. Remember, like, when I was 12, I was like, oh, dude, if I ever have money someday I'm gonna buy a cool gun. And I literally remembered playing, like, a month ago. I was like, oh, I have money. I, like, stopped in the middle of the game.

[Holmberg]

It was like, to realize I have some money.

[Michael Longfellow]

A month later, I have, like, three paintball. Where's. Where's my wedding ring?

[Holmberg]

It's right in that. That shelf over there with that orange tip gun.

[Unnamed Guest]

It's being made.

[Holmberg]

I didn't even know they still did paintball in the summer here.

[Michael Longfellow]

It's. This one was indoors.

[Holmberg]

Oh, even better. Where.

[Michael Longfellow]

It'S called American Paintball Coliseum. Shout out.

[Holmberg]

Okay.

[Michael Longfellow]

No free press.

[Holmberg]

No, that's fine. I don't care.

[Michael Longfellow]

It was like, Phoenix somewhere downtown. Yeah, a little bit.

[Holmberg]

No kidding. How about that?

[Unnamed Guest]

Two years ago. Want me to buy paintball guns or.

[Holmberg]

Soft three times fake stuff? Those. What do they call that?

[Michael Longfellow]

The airsoft.

[Holmberg]

Airsoft.

[Michael Longfellow]

That's not.

[Holmberg]

Paintball's better because it leaves a mark.

[Michael Longfellow]

Paintball's better.

[Holmberg]

Bruises you. I got hit.

[Michael Longfellow]

More intense. You're scared.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. You are actually nice in fear. Did you win last night?

[Michael Longfellow]

I won a couple games.

[Holmberg]

You walk out of there pretty proud. Snipery.

[Michael Longfellow]

No, because I'm still so new that I like.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, you kind of strike me in there. You could. Sniper.

[Michael Longfellow]

Oh, that'd be cool.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Ghillie, suit up and start.

[Michael Longfellow]

Sniper would be my preferred way of combat.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

Far away.

[Holmberg]

Hiding.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah. They can't see you.

[Holmberg]

Way far away. One job. You take a couple of days to do it if you want. Take your time. That's beautiful. It's good. It's good to meet you. Welcome back home, man. It's good to. It's good to see somebody pop from Phoenix because we've got such a vibrant comedy world around.

[Michael Longfellow]

It's really good. I had no idea until I went other places.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. We got three huge clubs with these guys. A couple other places. Bounce around. There's a lot of stuff here. It should be. Should get a lot more people popping out.

[Michael Longfellow]

I agree.

[Holmberg]

Do you know anybody that you're like, oh, my God, this guy's coming up here?

[Michael Longfellow]

Oh, not these days.

[Holmberg]

No.

[Michael Longfellow]

All the. There's a ton of people that were with me and are now doing well. Like, they moved to LA as well. Chappelle, Lacey, Jet Ski Johnson, Michael Turner. Like all the good ones. I feel like.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

Kind of moved on. I'm sure there's young kiddos out there, hopefully out of touch with the scene.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. But it's awesome to see all the success you're having. I think it's great. Leave us with words of wisdom. Michael Longfellow, fix the world. Help us out.

[Michael Longfellow]

If you had an semi truck.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

Seems plenty of truck to me. What a dumb. And more stuff like that.

[Holmberg]

It was very gold blue. We talked about it earlier. Because they're building AI babies. Yeah. Out of real sperms. If you could AI like yourself.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

And it's only gonna be alive for like 48 hours.

[Michael Longfellow]

Would I have sex with it?

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yes.

[Holmberg]

See, that's what I battled. That I would be.

[Michael Longfellow]

I'd get material or something.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. You would actually get a story. And also you'd know where you're weak. It's like game film, right?

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah. I'd go into my. Be like my girlfriend. You're a liar.

[Holmberg]

It is too.

[Michael Longfellow]

It's not that great.

[Holmberg]

What would you be most worried about?

[Michael Longfellow]

What would I be mo.

[Holmberg]

Mine would be aggression.

[Michael Longfellow]

Mine would be scent.

[Holmberg]

That's a big one, too.

[Michael Longfellow]

You'd never really smell yourself the way other people would.

[Unnamed Guest]

You be able to pick that up because you're just. You're basically have that commonality to begin with.

[Holmberg]

Oh, that's true. It's like going into somebody's house.

[Unnamed Guest]

You're not gonna know this.

[Michael Longfellow]

Cats.

[Holmberg]

If you've got cats, you don't smell it. But if you don't.

[Michael Longfellow]

You said yours would be aggression.

[Holmberg]

Aggression. Like, am I too hard a hugger? Am I too. Do I grip too hard?

[Unnamed Guest]

My head's around your neck.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. Am I like. Do I hug too aggressively? Do I touch and feel too? And my two. Ah.

[Michael Longfellow]

You know, mine would be hanging out afterwards.

[Holmberg]

Yours is the awkwardness.

[Michael Longfellow]

Get this guy out of here.

[Holmberg]

How would it feel if AIU didn't want to be there? Like, he's putting his socks on. He's like, well, I got to get to work.

[Michael Longfellow]

I somehow find a way to be like, they're dumb. No, it's me.

[Holmberg]

Probably a lesbian.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

It's a weird thing, but it's. You know that's gonna happen because if they're inventing organs and skin and all that, the first thing. Porn's gonna get ahold of this and build.

[Michael Longfellow]

Oh, that's. Yeah. For sure.

[Holmberg]

Immediately. That will be hopefully disposable.

[Unnamed Guest]

Then the clone army.

[Holmberg]

Then the clone armies come, and then the wars and then we're all out.

[Michael Longfellow]

Doesn't sound too bad.

[Holmberg]

It actually sounds like a pretty neat way to go out.

[Michael Longfellow]

It could solve a lot of issues.

[Holmberg]

It's better than what my grandpa saw. It was boring his world. And we got clone sex robots and armies that fight. They're not even real people.

[Michael Longfellow]

Oh.

[Holmberg]

I'm all in on sci fi being real. That's pretty great.

[Michael Longfellow]

Yeah, That's. I think wars should just. Why can't we go off the honor system where it's like a paintball game?

[Holmberg]

You got me. Michael Longfellow. Pleasure, man. Best of luck to you. Hopefully this thing explodes and we're you never have to come back here again.

[Michael Longfellow]

Because I hope I do.

[Holmberg]

Well, we'd love to have you.

[Michael Longfellow]

You guys are legends. It's sick to be. I'm not even kidding.

[Holmberg]

That's stupid. That's dumb. Michael longfellow, everybody. It's 98 KUPD. It's out of control now. 98. Can you.

[Nicole Byer]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms. Flyer. Today's style tip. When it comes to making a statement, Treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild. Like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com.

[Holmberg]

Ooh.

[Nicole Byer]

Fierce. This has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Holmberg]

Wayfair. Every style, every home.