06-13-25 - ManCave Upgrade Finals - Part Four - Dale Chooses The Grand Prize Winner

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 06-13-25 - ManCave Upgrade Finals - Part Four - Dale Chooses The Grand Prize Winner
Release Date: June 13, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Guests: Russ, Joshua Davis, Dale (Judge), Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Overview

In this electrifying episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg orchestrates the thrilling finale of the "ManCave Upgrade" giveaway. The competition reaches its peak as contestants Russ and Joshua Davis engage in a heated roast battle to win the coveted grand prize: a comprehensive man cave makeover. With Dale acting as the judge, the episode is filled with humor, competitive banter, and engaging interactions that keep listeners hooked until the very end.

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Competition Recap

Timestamp: [02:06] - [04:12]

John Holmberg kicks off the content by highlighting the intense competition between the finalists, Russ and Joshua Davis. He humorously critiques their storytelling abilities, particularly noting Meathead's tendency to derail stories mid-way, adding a relatable touch for regular listeners.

Notable Quote:

"You're going to hospice before it's over." – John Holmberg [02:06]

Holmberg emphasizes the tough decision ahead, acknowledging both contestants' strong performances and the community's support through emails and texts praising their efforts.

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Contestant Introductions and Initial Roasts

Timestamp: [04:35] - [07:23]

Russ and Joshua Davis return to the stage, and the atmosphere becomes charged as Holmberg introduces the format of the finale—a roast battle where both contestants must defend why they deserve the man cave upgrade while taking jabs at each other.

Notable Quotes:

"Man cave is out of Sun City's Fisterville." – John Holmberg [12:44]
"If you'd like to go on a date with Dale, we'll pay for it." – Russ [04:00]

Joshua starts strong by presenting himself as the quintessential man, contrasting himself with Russ's flamboyant "pink jacket" attire. The banter quickly escalates as Russ counters by mocking Joshua's limited romantic endeavors and poking fun at his own and Joshua's appearance.

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Roast Battle Highlights

Timestamp: [05:10] - [09:23]

The roast battle intensifies with both contestants delivering sharp and humorous insults. Joshua criticizes Russ's fashion sense and questions his manliness, while Russ retaliates by mocking Joshua's relationship status and debating the value of the prize.

Notable Quotes:

"If this was a fashion show, he would certainly beat me. But this is a man show." – Joshua Davis [05:51]
"You're low in testosterone." – Russ [08:06]
"You got one wife, but she's pretty hot." – Joshua Davis [07:06]

They also delve into personal jabs about their lifestyles and appearances, showcasing their competitive spirit and entertaining the audience with their wit and humor.

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Judging and Decision Time

Timestamp: [09:35] - [12:18]

As the roast battle concludes, it's time for Dale to make the final decision. Russ expresses his admiration for Joshua's consistent performance, ultimately tipping the scales in Joshua's favor. Holmberg builds suspense, highlighting the audience's engagement and the high stakes of the competition.

Notable Quotes:

"Joshua is the definition of a man." – Joshua Davis [05:51]
"I've only got one wife, but she's pretty hot." – Joshua Davis [07:11]
"You grew on me as this competition went along." – Russ [10:19]

Dale announces Joshua Davis as the winner, commending his dedication and performance throughout the contest. The prize includes a suite of upgrades from sponsors such as Prestige Billiards and Wise Coatings, along with a $1,000 contribution from Game Day Men's Health.

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Winner Announcement and Closing Remarks

Timestamp: [11:34] - [14:26]

John Holmberg formally congratulates Joshua Davis, celebrating his victory and emphasizing the value of the man cave upgrade. Russ graciously acknowledges Joshua's win and reflects on the competition's camaraderie. The episode concludes with heartfelt thanks to the sponsors and a light-hearted nod to Dale's judging prowess.

Notable Quotes:

"Congratulations to our friend Joshua." – John Holmberg [12:18]
"Thank you for everything. Always good to see you." – Russ [12:32]
"Joshua Davis is our winner." – John Holmberg [12:18]
"The mutual admiration society is upon us." – John Holmberg [14:19]

Joshua expresses his gratitude, highlighting the supportive community and the entertainment value of the event. The episode wraps up on a high note, leaving listeners with a sense of accomplishment and excitement for future competitions.

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully combines humor, competition, and community engagement. The "ManCave Upgrade Finals" not only provided entertaining roast battles but also fostered a sense of camaraderie among contestants and listeners alike. With insightful moderation by John Holmberg and a fair judging process led by Dale, Joshua Davis emerges as the deserving winner, ready to transform his space into the ultimate man cave.

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Notable Sponsor Mentions (Skipped in Summary):

• MMP Guns.com
• Copperhead Pocket Hose by Pocket Host
• Stand Up Live and various Improv locations

Note: Advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections were omitted to focus solely on the episode's main content.

Transcript

[Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most.

[Richard Karn]

Trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Dale]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head north to catch Michael Longfellow sets Friday through Sunday at the Desert Ridge Improv. The east side features Jonathan Kite this Friday through Sunday at the Tempe Improv. And from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul Famous, the multi talented Laval Crawford performing Friday and Saturday night downtown at Stand Up Live. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hi.

[Richard Karn]

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[Holmberg]

By texting 64,000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Host. Message data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available@pocket host.com terms all right, we are in the final stretches of the amazing Man Cave upgrade giveaway. And of course Meathead who can't tell a quick story to save his ass. I mean basically Meathead says, hey, can I tell a quick story? Basically you're going to hospice before it's over.

[Russ]

Walking down the hall, using the restroom, coming back and he's halfway through.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. I want to miss details. You hate, you hate, you hate to not tell him. But in the middle of his quick story, usually there's a moment when he says and then. And it's like oh my God, there's a third act. But you wanted to say something to Dale before he left. Now, or do you want to wait?

[Joshua]

I want to wait till 9. 29.

[Holmberg]

All right. Dale keeps pushing the times. All right, Dale, let's get our contestants back in. Russ and Joshua.

[Russ]

What a competition.

[Holmberg]

By the way, first and foremost, let me just say to both these guys, everybody emails, texts, everybody saying, these two are. They killed it. It's a good battle. Hard choice. And if you're watching right now online, I mean, between making Dale and there, I just watched the video of the scrambled eggs in the mouth of YouTube. What people were watching at home. Yeah. And there is an exact moment where you can tell when the whisk goes in the mouth. Dale just spins slowly like Norman Bates mother in the basement. And Dale's or Brady's smile kind of goes to a. I don't like being alive. It's a great moment. Like, you can actually watch when their hearts fall out of their chest. It's gross. Dale, you have. You have one last.

[Russ]

It's.

[Holmberg]

I mean, are you in the same boat? Where you at?

[Russ]

Well, again, they. They both. I gotta tell you, pink jacket came out of nowhere. I gotta tell you.

[Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Russ]

Gotta tell you. Initial. Initial thoughts. Where he's first out.

[Holmberg]

You wanted him gone first because of the pink jack.

[Russ]

No, wait, more that. The. The scarf thing.

[Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. He's got the aggressive open.

[Russ]

Yeah. And. And he's kind of scared me. And. And it's a great band. And as I said, the pool guy, he. He's had my attention since he walked in here.

[Holmberg]

Very attractive.

[Russ]

Ready to go, Good looking dude.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. That's what.

[Russ]

Hector and ready to go. So.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, I still don't. Let's screw. If you'd like to go on a date with Dale, we'll pay for it.

[Russ]

We're both happily married. I'm masculine enough to say, hey, he's a good looking dude. You're ugly. He's a good looking dude.

[Holmberg]

Is Russ a good looking dude?

[Russ]

I would not say he's a good looking dude.

[Holmberg]

All right. Really not your type.

[Russ]

Yeah. But he's found nine women who think he is.

[Holmberg]

I don't understand. All right, so you are in sort of like deadlock.

[Russ]

Yes. I mean, right now I can flip a coin. All right, we got like. Is this. Quickly just a figure. Is this $5,000 worth of stuff?

[Joshua]

More towards 10.

[Russ]

10.

[Holmberg]

Yeah. It's a nice.

[Russ]

It's a.

[Holmberg]

It's a nice chunk of change.

[Russ]

Hey, that's the shortest story he's ever Told it is. Yeah. And also.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a price. He'll give you a price. He runs a business. Yeah. All right, so these two have already started roasting each other to end this match. A little roast battle between Russ and Joshua. To help out. You have to tell us why you should win and why they should lose in the crudest terms possible, if necessary. It's a good thing als Matt is not here because it would make you both cry. A roast battle will start with Joshua, since you're so attractive.

[Russ]

Who's he roasting? The other guy.

[Holmberg]

The other guy.

[Russ]

Are all of us fair game?

[Holmberg]

Well, you can do whatever you want, but it has to include why you got to punch your opponent, too.

[Russ]

Okay.

[Holmberg]

If you want to run down the list of all of us, do it. You want to take a poke at. Yeah. You're playing why. And why he should.

[Russ]

Why?

[Richard Karn]

You're better than saving your ass.

[Holmberg]

Saving your ass and making this guy look terrible. All right, now we'll start with you, Joshua. You're looking at Russ in his pink jacket.

[Kevin]

All right.

[Holmberg]

And his serial killer clothes. And roast away, my friend.

[Joshua Davis]

All right, well, first, let me appeal why I should be. It's a man cave upgrade. I'm the definition of a man. I got callous here. I take care of my family really well. A blue collar. Work outside. Right. What else could you want for the man cave upgrade?

[Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Joshua Davis]

Versus the pink jack at the fake suede shoes with the buttons.

[Holmberg]

There we go.

[Joshua Davis]

If this was a fashion show, he would certainly beat me. But this is a man show. This is the number one man show in Arizona here.

[Holmberg]

Damn right. Joshua taking a swing at master Hunter Russ. Retort.

[Kevin]

Sorry, Josh, you can't even measure up to this. I. You have one wife. I have nine partners, you know, And. And, yeah. Would I do you? Probably not. But, John, maybe you would bang me.

[Holmberg]

Why did that turn on me so quickly? That doesn't help you, Brady.

[Kevin]

Because he cooks all the time, Dale, even though it's cowboys.

[Holmberg]

But, yo, wouldn't you love to just rail a cowboy, though? Just hear him. Please stop. Please stop.

[Kevin]

Hook me up with one of those cheerleaders and then Don Brett back here.

[Holmberg]

Don Brett. That's right.

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

These are not insults. You're just saying our names.

[Kevin]

Yeah, but it's also. And then, you know, for prestige, for everything you're doing for this, you know? And you guys have hooked me up, and I, like, I appreciate it.

[Holmberg]

Why do you deserve the man cave?

[Kevin]

Because I can entertain a lot of people, have parties at my house. And it's true. Pool table would be fun for some recessions.

[Holmberg]

All right. Oh, God. Joshua, go ahead. One. One last shot at him. Give it. Give us a go.

[Joshua Davis]

I've only got one wife, but she's pretty hot.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, let's do it. Oh, she's 33. Nice kill.

[Joshua Davis]

You see that winner?

[Holmberg]

I saw her videos. Yeah, that's right.

[Joshua Davis]

That's pretty, right?

[Holmberg]

Very, very pretty. Let's see if you have.

[Joshua Davis]

Okay.

[Holmberg]

Can he get one better in his choice of nine for the championship? It's whether or not you've got one in your bevy better than his beautiful single wife. He's scrolling. He's got to look for the good one. He's going one, two or he's looking good. No, no, no, no. Quality. Oh, my God. This one's all right. That's an awful lot of breasts. And they look a little cross eyed, I'm not gonna lie.

[Russ]

Well, that's just because her hands, her.

[Holmberg]

Nipples need Dr. J. Schwartz because one of them is lazy. See, that's how you roast. All right, all right. Anybody else? Rush, do you have anything else to say?

[Kevin]

I know if you win, you're gonna need the men's health thing, you know, because.

[Holmberg]

Oh, you think he's low in testosterone.

[Kevin]

Yeah, but. No, no, dude, you're. It's been awesome. I mean, between the two of us, you know, we've been having fun out here and everything and.

[Holmberg]

Do you think you'd invite him over to the house with the wife and.

[Kevin]

Heck yeah.

[Holmberg]

The 12 year can have fun as a dinner date.

[Kevin]

Yeah, it's like.

[Russ]

I want to know how that conversation go. Hey, honey, We've been invited over to Sun City. Yeah, Yeah.

[Holmberg]

I just want to meet another couple, actually.

[Kevin]

My stick.

[Holmberg]

Russ, Are you one of those guys that's carrying one of those massive hogs?

[Kevin]

I actually. I had a friend, she's like, why does your ex don't like me? And she's like, because you got a big dick.

[Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Thanks for that.

[Kevin]

Thanks for asking.

[Holmberg]

Joshua, are you. Well, you're very average. Is off the rack.

[Russ]

John. Have you ever had a girl say that about you?

[Holmberg]

About my huge penis?

[Russ]

Yeah. Johnny, beyond.

[Holmberg]

No, no, nobody's ever said. Nobody would say that because in order for that to happen, they would have to be like, way young. And that's illegal. And I can't. Yeah, it's not right.

[Russ]

It's too big.

[Holmberg]

Don't show me that, sir.

[Kevin]

Just find a short person with little hands and it makes sense.

[Holmberg]

Well, I tried with Brady. I. I agree that was weird. All right, still not big Dale. It's time for you to decide. Right now.

[Russ]

Yes.

[Holmberg]

Tell us what's in your brain. Not all of it, because it. Well, it would be a shorter story than Kevin, but. Wait, it's Kevin's story? Yeah. Not yet. Yeah, go ahead.

[Russ]

I gotta tell you, obviously a great competition.

[Holmberg]

Excellent work to all of them.

[Russ]

Everything. All of them did a great job. But I. Again, I said. I keep forgetting your name.

[Holmberg]

Josh.

[Russ]

Josh. From the moment he walked in here.

[Holmberg]

He captured your heart.

[Russ]

And I don't know about you vibed with him immediately.

[Holmberg]

Did you feel that vibe?

[Russ]

Yeah, I just. Men stick together.

[Holmberg]

Who's your favorite football team, Josh?

[Joshua Davis]

The Cardinals.

[Holmberg]

Cardinals.

[Russ]

Yeah. That's okay, man.

[Holmberg]

He likes country music and the Cardinals. Put a helmet on this guy.

[Russ]

They're harmless.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. That is true.

[Russ]

But as, as, as far as the competition allowed, I, I. You grew on me as this competition went along.

[Holmberg]

Well, that's. Usually the bacteria does that.

[Russ]

But when, When I saw the, the nose do hickey thingy, I gotta tell you, you had to go uphill a lot.

[Holmberg]

The ear to nose chain made you want to leave the rest.

[Russ]

Oh, yeah.

[Holmberg]

If he was your waiter, would you stay?

[Russ]

I would say, honey, we're gonna go Jack in the box. Go to Jack in the box. I did get up and with it there. There's a place on Bell Road called. It's a breakfast place that's known for its.

[Holmberg]

Kevin, help him out. Speed the story up. It's called Doohickey.

[Russ]

No, it's. It's a feminine place. Anyway, we walked. I walked out anyway.

[Holmberg]

Wow. It's a gay breakfast.

[Russ]

Kind of, yeah.

[Kevin]

Oh, is it Jenny's?

[Russ]

No scrambles or sque pictures or something?

[Holmberg]

You just didn't like the gay vibe and you left?

[Russ]

Yes.

[Holmberg]

No kidding. You don't like your eggs gay?

[Russ]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

All right.

[Russ]

Okay, so I, I'll get. I'll get on with it. He didn't ever lose a round. In my mind, Joshua won every round. So Josh. Josh is.

[Holmberg]

Congratulations. Of the man cave upgrade courtesy of our friends at Prestige billiards. Get the 200 from Twin PE. We got the garage floor coating, which is awesome. From wise coatings and of course $1,000 from a game day men's health that you're going to need because your testosterone is clearly so insanely low. Let's give it to the youngest guy here. He's 33 and we're going to load him up on tea. He's going to have nine wives laying out I like it. Russ, Nice try. Thank you for everything. Always good to see you. Congratulations to our friend Joshua. Last words for Dale. Anybody hop up on that mic and say what you need to say.

[Joshua Davis]

Appreciate it, Dale. And thank you guys for, you know, the sponsors. Holmberg, been listening for 15 years plus probably so. Appreciate it, guys. This was awesome.

[Holmberg]

Thank you. Joshua Davis is our winner. Congratulations. There's people waiting for you outside to sign things. Russia, love to follow that young man full of testosterone out the door. Dale, great job judging. Excellent work.

[Russ]

Is that how you would have done it?

[Holmberg]

Oh, I'd have given it to als, Matt. Out of pure guilt and misery. I don't. I don't know how you do this, but. Yeah, I think. Yeah, I think you did a great job. I think. I think the correct man won.

[Russ]

Okay, good.

[Holmberg]

The man cave will remain out of Sun City's Fisterville. Man cave.

[Russ]

Probably used for ping pong and pool.

[Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, There'll be ping pong balls shooting around Russ's house no matter what. Kevin, you had something to say today before he leaves?

[Joshua]

No, he. He filled the expectations of a judge. Just, you know, he. He looks way different than his voice.

[Holmberg]

Dale does?

[Joshua]

Yeah.

[Holmberg]

I think he sounds exactly like Frankenstein. No, cuz it ain't that funny.

[Russ]

He's used that for 20 years.

[Holmberg]

What were you. Like you said, I want to say something before and that's it?

[Joshua]

No, I. I was. I was gonna describe what I was gonna say, but I. Do you have five minutes?

[Holmberg]

No, no, just. I wanted to do the last story. What. What were you gonna say? That was it. You. You actually asked off there. Hey, is there something I can say to Dale on the way out? Oh, I. But I think he was kind of joking that he'd take.

[Dale]

Dale's got to go.

[Holmberg]

Oh, my God. That was a joke.

[Russ]

Come on, Johnny, get with it.

[Holmberg]

No, no, I'm with it. There's. I'm not the one that needs to get with. Always a pleasure. Oh, God. You're not done yet.

[Joshua]

The way this started. You know how we took over from the MILF contest? Like all the timing and everything. And I'm honored to do this.

[Holmberg]

Oh, listen to this. Trying to bring us to tears. Yeah, give him the pool table. No kidding. He's selling it. Yeah. Beautiful. Excellent work.

[Kevin]

I really.

[Joshua]

I really appreciate what you guys do for us.

[Holmberg]

This guy.

[Russ]

We appreciate you.

[Holmberg]

That's a beautiful supporting Dale, too. The mutual admiration society is upon us. Well, thank you.

[Joshua]

It's like ALS compared Dales. Yeah.

[Holmberg]

That'S how we're gonna leave. That's how we leave it. Okay, ALS to ds. Thank you, everybody. Thanks for all the stuff. And Kevin, always a great thing. The man cave upgrade is over. That's it. We're done. Congratulations to Joshua Davis. The 2020.

[Russ]

Most powerful rocket station.

[Holmberg]

It's out of control now. 98K. You PT. What is daddication?

[Dariona]

The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariona. We call him day Date for short. Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge. And there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go, we worked together. We did a good job.

[Holmberg]

That's dedication. Find out [e-mail] brought to you by the U.S. department of Health and Human Services and the Ad Council.