← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
06-13-25 - ManCave Upgrade Finals - Part One - Dale Is Here And We Introduce The Contestants
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Brady
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Head north to catch Michael Longfellow. Sets Friday through Sunday at the Desert Ridge Improv. The east side features Jonathan Kite this Friday through Sunday at the Tempe Improv. And from Breaking Bad and better Call Saul Famous, the multi talented Laval Crawford performing Friday and Saturday night downtown at Stand Up Live. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com all right, we're about ready to go here. This is going to be fun. I'm going to save the surprise for later, but there is a clear cut favorite for this contest in a huge way. And no, it's not because of boobs. Just going to let you know I did not know this, but there is no possible way. I'm all right. I'm not going to say it just because it's going to seem rigged, but it's so great and it's awesome that it's happening. So I'm very excited about what's about to happen with our glorious game, the man cave upgrade, courtesy of our friend Hop over here, Meathead from Prestige, the one the only who is here. And I just want to thank you for all the work you've done around my house. The grill looks great. My the game system that I broke is still inoperable. Kevin and I go back and forth on schedule constantly. I'm like, hey, can you make it over here at like the blah blah? Yeah, Aaron. And I say, I can't make it. Or then you say, you're not coming, so I need my grill. The back and forth is great. It is fun. And then we're just like, screw that guy. Meathead's here. He can take care of all your gaming needs. Thank you for doing this once again this year. You're very excited about this. This is awesome. I look forward for this moment. Whole year this is. Would you do. This is a Super bowl for me. How bad are your years? How bad? This is lonely. At the shop. All I could think of is what I when I get here, I'm like, I wish I was the contestant. Yeah, then you could win your own store. Yeah, that's dumb. Give him a old fashioned, Brady. He seems down. I think he wants more boy butter. Yeah. What do you Want last year two days to get off. Yeah, that was gross. Smell lasted in here for a week. I think you could smell me from my house. It smelled like dollar store condoms for like 14 days. Yeah. How would you know the what? Oh, yeah. You got to go for the dollar store ones. I like it when they break. It's more exciting. You can get singles. Yeah, yeah. You can buy the singles. We're going to have Dale come up here in a minute. You've not met Dale yet, but you sponsor Dale's segment on Thursday, which is an unbelievable gift for Dale, and he has not met you. So today we will introduce meathead to Dale Helister. He's on his way up the stairs now. It should take me trick him first and be like, he's meathead. No, no, no. We're not giving the game away. Don't give it away. What are you looking for this year to. Because you're going to want to. You're giving away most of the stuff. The. The pool table, the ping pong table, the air hockey, the smoker. You got all the other twin peaks giving away $200. You got wise brothers or wise coatings giving out their floor, which is awesome. Garage floor coating is huge. If you're going to put it in your garage, what are you looking for? I'm more excited for the. The contestant that wants to keep it and, you know, actually use it. Not. That's right. Like sell it off. Well, but maybe more or less. There's always that option. There's always the option. We'll see. It is exciting when they actually want the prize. Yeah. Rather than the cash equivalent. Yeah. Not. Which, by the way, is $150. We robbed on that. No, no. You got to think tariffs took place before this also. It's even more than normal. Oh, you got inflation on this product. Yeah. But we like to say for the cash equivalent, that's only $150, so they take the prize. 149.99. That's exactly right. We're ready. Is Dale up here yet? The elevator is so slow for Dale. All right, we're gonna. This house trying to break down. I'm gonna get ahead of the game here. We're gonna do introductions with the crew, and then we're gonna have contests, and each round will eliminate one. It doesn't look like the girl is gonna make it. And I don't know why she was qualified. She said sure. So we've got. We're only gonna have our four contestants, and one of them is A super surprise. You should have went on Facebook or Instagram and just blast her. Why? Why would we. Why, Kevin, Why? She ruined the moment. No, she's. This is his Super Bowl. She's ruining it. Dale, come on. And Dale Hellistray is here and he's all dressed up. Looking good. Come on in. Dale, why are you waiting outside? Yeah, you're in his spot. Scoot over to that one. Dale Hellistre, a judge now for our glorious contest. Welcome, Dale Meathead. Meathead. Dale Prestige Billiards. A dot com. Yeah, we're fine. He can hear. All right. It'll be fine. We're getting to the next two minutes. That's it. Dale, I need you. Have you ever judged anything before that didn't, like, involve wet? A couple. A couple beauty contests. Yeah. How did you do? I did great. Yeah? Yeah. All right. What was your name again? Rachel. Rachel, will you stand up at the microphone real quick? Now you're going to judge people today. Rachel's here. Rachel, would you please rank everyone in the room 1 to 10? 1 to 10? Yeah. As far as dating abilities, just start with Brady. Dating ability? Yeah. Six. Okay. Dale. Five. I'll stop there. He didn't even beat Brady. Oh, man. Get out. Get out. I mean, I would have believed anything but him a six. Him a six. You lost a. What about Bret? Just to go down the line, I say seven. All right, Meathead. Eight. All right. Not surprised. Me. Nine. You don't have to do that. That's a lie. She knows how this game's now. She has no credibility. How do I think I was set up? The judge is a five. Why do I think I was set up? Something's wrong with her. All right, sit back down there. Very accurate. Very accurate. Yeah. So basically, no matter what, Dale came in last. That's all I wanted to do. We've never had the opportunity to actually get the judge right to. And Dale's always said he's like an eight. Yes, especially among 60 year olds. I'm a 10 plus. That's so not true. That's so not true. And he said he'd win at a gay bar. Yeah. I'd outdo you at a gay bar. You would not outdo me. No way. All I have to do is stand up. 60 year old. So you tell me you tried to carry Slate with this dude right here. This dude right here picked up Slate like it was nothing. You said you tried to do it, too. I tried to pick up the next one because it looked easy. He's put together A little different than you. Yeah, but still, it was so easy that I thought, I'll strain, but I'm gonna do it. I didn't budget out of the truck. And he goes, couldn't get it, huh? And then he's the only one who can do it. He can lift a pool table on his back. He's built. Yeah, he is built for carrying things heavy. Lifting heavy, heavy objects. Yeah. He's not a small man. Meathead. All right, we're gonna get the introduction out of the way. Dale, is there anything as a judge that sways you right off the bat that isn't nudity? Well, what am I judging? It is the man cave upgrade. So. Yeah, I understand that, but what am I judging? The contestants, there's kind of a rundown. The beginning, the be beginning of it will be their introductions. And you're gonna have to eliminate someone after they introduce themselves. So you're looking on personality, okay? You're looking for, like, you know, a spark, somebody who deserves a fun room. Like, you've been to my house, seen my game room, and you don't deserve that, by the way. But isn't it fun? Yeah, it is fun. It is fun. So you want somebody who's host a fun night, okay, to get all this free stuff you don't want an adult person to get. Is this. You'll see. No, no, no. When they're in the other room, I can say it's coming home with me. Trust me. Trust me. You're gonna have a tough. So you have no criteria. Just impress Dale, okay? Nothing about you. Be honest. Yeah, and be honest. Are there any single moms? No. We had the woman. We had one, and she was on her way, and I said, dale's judging, and suddenly she's witness relocation. She mustn't be going home and getting all dolled up. She jumped on an India Air flight and she got out of there too soon anyway. It's never so far away. It's 8:06. The man cave upgrade begins next morning sickness. Medicate, can you? It's Nick Tolito from homework's morning sickness for chime, the checking account that helps you manage your money better. How nice would it be to have a checking account that instead of charging you fees, helps you build credit get paid early and more with chime checking. There are no minimum balance fees and no monthly fees. And with your chime secured credit builder Visa card, you'll pay no annual fees or interest or be required to have a minimum security deposit or credit check to apply and enrolling in direct deposit with CHIME helps you get your paycheck up to two days early for free. So move toward a better financial future with Chime and get started today at Chime.com Homeberg where you'll open a Chime checking account in just two minutes. That's Chime.com Holmberg Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA member is fdic. Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Fees apply at out of network ATMs. MyPay eligibility requirements apply. Credit limits range from $20, $500. $2 fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime checking account required. Go to chime.com disclosures details. Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, I'm wildly excited about today's game. This is gonna be fun. This is gonna be good. We've got our man cave upgrade. Everybody. It is upon us and it's time to meet our contestants for the game room. And the game room is glorious. And brought to by our friends at prestige billiards. Az. You're gonna get yourself a pool table. You're gonna get yourself a top for that which is a ping pong top. I have the same deal at my place and it's awesome. You play more ping pong than you think when you get that table. Air hocks. It's a great place for your snacks too. It is a great place. Yeah. And that's absolutely true. When I have my Steeler games. The ping pong table goes over the queso right on there. Put queso on it. Tablecloth. It doubles as a. It also doubles as a poor person's Thanksgiving setup. It's awesome. Ping pong table is multi uses air hockey. You got the, the smoker 200 gift card to Twin Peaks. You got wise coatings floor. I think that's awesome. And then $1,000 from game day Men's Health to get you what they got. And it all goes to the winner. Let's find out who we've got. Contestant number one's name is Hayden McElroy. Please step forward. Hayden McElroy, come on in here. Let's welcome Hayden, everybody. Hayden, step up. Grab the headphones, put them on there and get right on that microphone like you're dating it and tell everybody who Hayden McElroy is and what he does. All right. What's up guys? Hayden McElroy listening to you guys for quite a while and basically what a little bit about myself. I just, I'm a Pool technician around the valley. Born and raised here. That's pool boy? Yeah, pool boy. But I run it. It's my. My manager. So you run pool boys? No, I actually don't even have any employees. It's literally just myself. One man. Just a one man operation. That's a good way to live. Yeah. All right. There you go. All right. Why do you need a game room? Because I love my games, man. I love pool. I literally need it also as a little escape from my wife. So you want to get away from your wife? She's a shrew sometimes. You don't like chlorine? You're about done with her? No, not done. But, you know, a little. A little garage escape would be nice. Would you put it in the garage? Yeah, yeah. That's just like you said to get that garage floor. Awesome. Set it on. Great. So you get a smoker as well with this, would you. What would you smoke for Brady and Dale if they came to your game room? Oh, man. Probably maybe some briskets. Yeah. Maybe multiple classic ribs. Yeah, Briskets. Yeah. Load up on that. Yeah. All right. I like that. And what would your. What's your drink? What's your drink of choice? Oh, are we talking alcohol? Yes, sir. Non alcoholic. I'm simple, man. Just a simple Jack and Coke. Jack and Coke. Right down Dale's alley. He's the only one. He's also at the bottom. What would you name your bar? Oh, man, shoot. Let's call it something. Something edgy. I don't know. I don't know. JonBenet's can. Oh, man, that's not good. That's. That's a hard one. My bar is called the Steel Swede. The Steel Swede. I like it. I like. I'm Swedish. You look German. You don't know what I know. All right, think about the name of the bar, lad and gentlemen, contestant one is Hayden Mac. I got one question since I'm judging. That's right. Have there ever been a lonely housewife that's seduced you're cool while you're cleaning? Yeah. Yeah. What's a good pool story? Yeah. O man. Not saying you did anything. So you know nothing. Nothing like, you know, what you guys see online? Pornhub. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing like that. But you've peeked in some windows. Yep. All right. Hayden McElroy, the peeping Tom. All right. Nice job, Hayden. Thank you. Thank you. Peeping Tom. Hayden. All right, next contestant is Russ. Is it Brokeback? Brokeback, bro to back. Yeah. Is there two T's? I go By Brody. Yeah, I know, Russ. I just didn't know your last name was Bro Toback. Russ is here. Russell, welcome to the man cave upgrade. You're dressed in a. Is that a dua lipa shirt? What are we looking at? No, it's skinned. Oh, okay. And then you've got a pink sport coat on and a vest and your shirt says. Are you effing kidding me? Okay. Edmund Kemper. Okay. Serial killer Kemper. Yes. He killed his mother and tore out her vocal cords and put him in the garbage disposal because he hated how she talked to him. Yeah. Good guy. He's a fan. Let's. Let's meet. He's got some making up to do. Russ Broatback. Known Russ Brody. Is that right? Okay, Russ, go right ahead. Yeah. 60, twice divorced. I have a daughter that's 22. Okay. Photographer. I've shot John. Yes. Linda. At Joe Squirrado years ago. Yes. Yeah, yeah. We go back for Wheeling and. Like that. Oh, come on now. That's right. You've been out with us in the past in the trucks. What is the thing attached to your nose and ear called? Just nose. Ear Chain. It's a nose. I make these. Oh, okay. Dale, have you ever considered that. I was just thinking that you would look good with that. I think I'm a punk rocker, so. Yeah, you got the look. I used to have hair down to my butt and really two foot mohawk at one time. No kidding. So what is the. What is the reason for two divorces? First one, she cheated. And then the second one, Covid killed this. No kidding. Couldn't be together that much. Yeah. So you got room for a game? Cabin fever? Yes. You don't have a current lady in your life? I have two life partners. What does that mean? They're my forever wives. I don't know. This is. This is a TV show. I'm poly, so. No kidding? Yes. Polyamorous. Meaning you like multiple partners? Poly single. Poly single. So at one time, I had nine partners. How do you do that? It's a harem. No, everyone pretty much likes each other and. Wow. Yeah. It makes for you. Couldn't get through Covid with one, but afterwards you decided nine is a better chance. I moved away for that one, too. I lived up in Yarnell. Oh, there's a problem. Yeah, it's too far away from everything. Game room's gonna be busy. Yeah. All right. So this. You're just gonna. It's just gonna. The pool table felt. I gotta get a good scotchgard on that for him. He's gonna wreck that. What would you name your bar, Rod? Probably the beast. Yeah. Dale, do you have any questions for us? You're a little afraid of Russ. So I had an idea for coming in today. I was going to bring my emotional support person, but she had a doctor's appointment. What does that mean? She was going to be dressed like that? Oh, my goodness. Yeah, she's just like with a collar and a leash. Well, you should have done that though. Yeah, that would have been too. So bad. But she has a doctor's appointment. She's sick and I just got back in. Back to the kennel. Yeah, she just got back into town from Henderson and so. So she's got. But yeah, she's probably just worn out. One of our contestants. She's safe. Than her autopsy Alice. Autopsy Alice. She has an autopsy scar. Literal scar from a self. Wait a minute. She did it? She tried to give herself an autopsy? Kind of, sort of. But yeah, it's scarification. And she likes being scarred up. Yeah. So basically what we've learned about Russ Brody is that he's insane. Yes. Yeah, I'm in the fetish, the goth, you know. Yeah, the rock scene. Yeah. The closest you've ever come to killing someone. I have. Okay. Do we want details still? It was in the military. Oh, in the military. Oh, jeez. He's got legal killing. Legal murder. All good for you. All right, Russ, Excellent introduction there. All I got to say is that all that really doesn't faze me. It's that you photograph John. It was so fun. His pictures were fantastic. You were in them. That's right. Thank you, Dale. I agree. All right, Russ. Thank you very much. Broke back bro to back. Bro to back. Brody. Brody. I know, but it looks like it. I can't help it. On the cardigan, it's Dick Toledo from homework's morning sickness. For Chime, the checking account that helps you manage your money better, Chime is unlike any other banking app. When you set up a qualifying direct deposit with your Chime checking account, you get access to my pay, which gives you up to $500 of your pay before pay when times are tight. MyPay carries all the benefits of Chime, including fee free overdrafts of up to $200, no monthly or minimum balance fees, and access to over 50,000 ATMs, more than three times the top three national banks combined. Move toward a better financial future with Chime and get started today@chime.com Holmberg where you'll open a Chime checking account. In just two minutes. That's chime.com Holmberg Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA members. FDIC Spot Me Eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Fees apply at out of network ATMs. MyPay eligibility requirements apply. Credit limits range from $20 to $500. $2 fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime checking account required. Go to chime.com disclosures for details. Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years. Family owned for three generations, they offer the largest selection of power tools from Milwaukee, Makita, DeWalt and more. They also specialize in tool repair including hydraulics like Burndy and Commerc Electric contractor tools as well as having a state of the art on site glove testing facility. Visit Fisher Tools in store or online@fishertools.com and use promo code KUPD for 10% off your order. 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That's water to 64,000 for your two free gifts with purchase w a t e r to 64,000 by texting 64,000. You agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket Host. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available@pocket host.com terms Holmberg's Morning Sickness Joshua Davis is contestant number three. Come on in here. Let's welcome Joshua Davis to the Man Cave Upgrade Contest. Joshua welcome sir. Morning. How are you? I'm doing great. Tell us about Joshua Davis. Joshua Davis I'm 32. I look, 42. I feel 52. I'm a pool guy, too. I own a pool guy. Yeah. But I. I fix swimming pools, so I do the equipment. You're better than the other guy? Slightly. Okay. Like that? Yeah. Hayden would work for you. Correct. Okay. Yeah. You'd be under me. Understood. Yeah. What's the name? This guy's been hit on. You think he's good? Oh, he's. You're attracted to him? No. He's been hit on by house. Yes. Have you. Have you had a housewife story as a pool man? Yeah. I mean, I don't take it that far because I'm a happily married man, but ye. How far do you take it? Fingers, round, second base. Johnny round, second base. Slap her around a little bit. Yeah. Give her a little push. Push choker for a second. Okay. I understand. That doesn't count if. If she doesn't push back. It's not correct. It doesn't even count. It's a one way street. So. Have you ever had a housewife come out and like, start to talk to you? Yes. You're right. He is one of those pool boys that say he's walking around and listening and shirts off. I don't take my shirt off. But sometimes they do. That's what I like to do. Yeah. So you've been doing this for a while. You would definitely run Hayden's life. He's a. A secondary pool. Correct. He's a low level dollar store guy compared to your high operation. And then what would you name your bar? What would I name my bar? Blackout. Blackout bar. Where our slogan is Blackout with your rack out. Totally allowed. You know, encouraged, if you will. You've got room for this at your house? Yes. Put it in the garage right next to the side by side. Make it a, you know, a fun little man cave, you know? That sounds great. And if you were to smoke for Brady and Dale, what would you smoke? I'd start with some smok as the appetizer and then I'd get the. Have the brisket going. I'd probably use the traeger for the poppers and then this new smoker for the brisket and get some Mac and cheese and some cornbread on the side. Brady's gonna jerk it. This is an outing. Yeah, he's sore to the top. He's already got Brady's final. Dale, do you have any questions for Joshua? No, I just. I. Again, right now he's. You like him. All right. And. And cherry on top. I do enjoy country music. Chilling by the Pool just for Dale. I'm sorry, guys. Right to the bottom. Right to the bottom. Variety is the. Variety is the spice of life. We can't trust a country fan with pool sticks. And those heavy balls, they'll kill themselves. Variety, Johnny. Somehow impale yourself on a pool stick. Joshua, anything else we should know about you? Nope. That's it. Oh. I've got a 17 year old daughter. Okay. I'm still with the baby mama. She's my wife. We had her at age 15. Yep. Born and raised in Lake Havasu City. Moved out here. My wife's a. An RN and a surgical unit. You said you're 32? Yes. You got a 17 year old. She just graduated high school. Starting college in August. So we're the 1% of the 1%. How about that? All right. That's impressive. All right, Joshua, Excellent job hopping out of here. It's Joshua Davis, everybody. And finally, Dale. I don't even know we can just rip this off. No, we can't. Our last contestant is a friend of the show. That's right. He is known here as als. Max. That's right. And welcome to the microphone, Matt Molly. Am I saying it right? Matt. Als. Male. Maley. Okay. He's been diagnosed with als and he said. I know. And now you have to take this away from him. That sucks. Yeah. Don't be a prick, Dale. But he's fun. It's okay. You can like laugh at it and everything. I don't. I do. He's hilarious. Wait till you hear him talk. You don't have a heart. Matt. Hop on up here and tell everybody about yourself. My name is Matt. That's right, Dale. I'm four. Needs me. And have been nine most Matt. ALS for almost two years now. Two years. Dale. ALS Matt. And look at you, 43. You have to take this away from him. You've already got somebody in first place. We got other categories. That's right. That's right. And wait. And you're gonna try to stop him from doing it. He brought a translator, for crying out loud. Matt, tell a joke real quick. Are you his wife? No, I'm kind of like. He's kind of. Because she dissed me in the rankings. She's the one that said you were a five. So she put him down at the bottom rank. Dale. Seven and a half. Seven and a half. No. Matt, you're back. Dale, you're back. Matt is actually one of the most fun people. We've gone to concerts and stuff with Matt and he's great. So when I saw him walk in. I'm like, oh, this will be tough because we know him. We're comfortable with what's going on with Matt. You're gonna be wildly uncomfortable all day. I'm totally comfortable. Are you? You're willing to tell him he's not good enough. What would you name your bar? Matt? I. No limit. No limit. No limits. No limits. All right, but. And yet so limited it. Are you good at pool? Hell, no. Yeah. Or you're gonna have ping pong. I want to see that. Yeah. You're terrible at ping pong. Come on. Okay, we'll play. He's challenged me to a ping pong. I'll kill him. No, you wouldn't. I destroy him. 110 wouldn't even be close. Just listen to him, Dale. Take the paddle to his hand. Walk right through. Yeah. Now swing the arm. There you go. And we're gonna give him a smoker. He's gonna light the place on fire. Are you good at smoking? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can smoke stuff. What would you smoke? Brisket. I just think of you. Mac and cheese. He just sounds aggressive is all I'm hearing. Yeah, that's good. Good. And I'm happy to see Matt because he looks great. Like, he looked really good. Yeah, because a year ago, we weren't sure, you know, it was 108. That's true. You look like garbage. A year ago. He's all clean and pit. Yeah. This is it. Dale, do you have any questions for Matt? Have you ever been hit on by a housewife cleaning a pool? Yeah. Okay. Is everything down south still working? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you ever use it? The only thing that was funny. It is the only thing that works. Proven. Show Dale that it works. Right now, Dale wants to see in the hands. He's got two strangers. That's true. That's not fun, is it? No. Beating us really hard. Let me tell you. What, do you have to hire out? I may need to. You may need to. But right now you're still working it as best you can. But it's. The right one's still good. Left one's off later. That's the same for me. Oh, it's a pain in the. So you stuff that one in your ass? Yeah. Oh, I see. Okay. The right one works and the left one's a pain in his ass. You gotta watch this on Facebook. Dale is in hell right now. This is a nightmare. It's the claw. The claw. I understand him now. I speak Matt. All right. Als. Matt is here and he is Contestant four. Thank you. Als Matt, please leave the room. We have to deliberate on who's going to go on first round elimination. You got to get rid of one right off the bat, Dale. Right off the bat. And we'll do that during the break. Dale is here as the judge. It is the man cave upgrade and we didn't know Als Matt was in the contest, but man, talk about a leg up. I mean, not physically. That would be awful. You know what I'm saying? It's 829. The man cave upgrade is here. Entertaining already. It's 98. It's out of control now. So you've got a business, but what about a brand? The difference? More of you. 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