Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: June 17, 2025 Host: John Holmberg | 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio
1. The Bird Gentrification Saga (00:01:12 - 00:03:54)
John Holmberg kickstarts the morning by sharing an amusing yet frustrating experience with his backyard avian residents. Initially, his peaceful sanctuary was overrun by pigeons, which he humorously refers to as "low rent pigeons." However, their departure made way for majestic kestrels, whom he dubs the "high rent" birds. The situation escalated as these kestrels began exhibiting aggressive behaviors, including dropping dead babies into his pool as a form of territorial claim.
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg (00:02:49): "The pistons all go in the same spot. So they were treating this area on my back patio like a restroom... They are assholes."
2. Addressing the Kestrel Conundrum (00:03:54 - 00:09:56)
The discussion delves deeper into solutions for his bird troubles. Holmberg and his co-hosts brainstorm various methods to deter the kestrels, ranging from using drones to install shiny objects and play loud music. The conversation takes a humorous turn as they contemplate extreme measures like deploying pellet guns or flamethrowers, fully aware of the legal repercussions.
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg (00:07:26): "They are assholes. Worst birds I've ever been around in my life."
3. Military Training Amidst the Backyard Battle (00:10:12 - 00:22:23)
Shifting gears, Holmberg discusses a peculiar announcement from the U.S. Department of Defense regarding scheduled military training near Phoenix. He criticizes the announcement's timing and content, suggesting it inadvertently signals opportunities for potential malfeasance.
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg (00:21:48): "Isn't this just getting rid of the people who decided not to do it? Shouldn't we be kind of happy?"
4. Vaccination Memories and Measles Concerns (00:23:56 - 00:57:00)
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the topic of vaccinations. Holmberg reminisces about his childhood experiences with vaccines, expressing skepticism towards the efficacy and motivations behind them. He recounts personal anecdotes, including his distrust of the bird sanctuary's treatment of pigeons and a harrowing story about his first doctor, Dr. King.
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg (00:54:18): "They just jabbed that in me with a... I don't think anybody was lippy back then about it."
5. The Lost Notebook of Love Poems (00:57:00 - 02:01:38)
Holmberg shares a personal and somewhat embarrassing story about a notebook filled with love poems he wrote to his ex-girlfriend's vagina. The notebook was stolen from his Jeep years ago, and he expresses ongoing anxiety about its resurfacing and the potential damage it could cause to his reputation.
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg (01:22:00): "If they find it, they're gonna say he was on a pedestal and evidently the queen of all of them was a girl named Jackie."
6. Guest Appearance: Ryan Reynolds (02:01:38 - 04:43:38)
The episode features a lively conversation with actor Ryan Reynolds. They reminisce about past antics, including Reynolds' high school experiences and interactions with John Holmberg. The banter touches upon Reynolds' early career, his friendship with other celebrities like David Spade, and humorous exchanges about mutual acquaintances.
Notable Quote:
Ryan Reynolds (03:00:00): "I was pretty friendly with most of the people that I wasn't really."
7. Conspiracy Theories and Humorous Debates (04:43:38 - 07:00:00)
The hosts engage in light-hearted speculation and satire surrounding various conspiracy theories, blending humor with fictional scenarios. Topics range from bird-related conspiracies to humorous takes on airline emergencies and celebrity mishaps.
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg (06:00:00): "Neighbourhood's going. You know what?"
8. Entertainment Rundown and Hot Releases (07:00:00 - 10:00:00)
Holmberg and his co-hosts wrap up the main discussions by highlighting new music releases, upcoming movies, and television series. They infuse their reviews with personal opinions and playful jabs, maintaining the show's signature humorous tone.
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg (09:00:00): "Someone found Drew. Hey. Better."
Conclusion
Throughout the episode, "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" blends personal anecdotes, humorous takes on everyday frustrations, and engaging discussions on broader societal issues. John Holmberg, alongside his co-hosts, offers an entertaining mix of humor, relatability, and candid conversations, making the show a standout morning radio experience for Arizona listeners.
Disclaimer: This summary focuses solely on the content segments of the podcast, omitting advertisements, intros, outros, and non-relevant sections as per the provided guidelines.