Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: June 17, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogan, Brett Fesley, Dick Toledo
Description: In this episode, Brett Fesley shares his escalating backyard bird issue, transitioning from lovebirds to pigeons, and now dealing with aggressive kestrels. The discussion intertwines with neighborhood dynamics and a peculiar public service announcement from the Phoenix Police Department regarding military training exercises.

1. Introduction to Brett’s Backyard Bird Dilemma

Timestamp: [00:00 - 02:49]

The episode kicks off with promotional segments for local businesses, including Action Ride Shop and Mint Mobile. These segments set a light-hearted tone before transitioning into the main content.

2. From Lovebirds to Kestrels: Brett’s Bird Battle

Timestamp: [02:49 - 19:02]

Brett Fesley introduces listeners to his escalating bird problem:

• Lovebirds Era:
  "When I first moved into this place, nothing but lovebirds in the backyard… it's like having parrots. They were zero responsibility."
  [02:10]

  Brett fondly recalls the initial peace with lovebirds, appreciating their vibrant colors and minimal upkeep.

• Pigeon Invasion:
  "Then for some reason, they started to move out. And I had a pigeon issue… the pigeons took over like a restroom."
  [03:35]

  The pigeons caused significant nuisance with their noise and mess, prompting Brett’s frustration.

• Kestrel Takeover:
  "Replaced by the mob bird. Well, I've just now been recently introduced to beautiful kestrel… but they're ruining everything."
  [04:50]

  Brett describes kestrels as majestic yet problematic predators, constantly attacking and dropping dead birds in his pool. He humorously likens them to mobsters:

  "They're like, 'Better get 20,' 'Get 15,' and I said, 'Sold.'”
  [05:00]

  The kestrels' aggressive behavior leads Brett to consider extreme measures to reclaim his yard.

• Host Reactions:
  Brady Bogan and John Holmberg engage with Brett’s woes, offering both sympathy and comedic relief. Brady suggests:

  "There's gotta be a nest around here."
  [06:46]

  Brett elaborates on the kestrels' behavior, emphasizing their dominance and the inconvenient presence of dead birds:

  "They started moving and they all go in the same spot… messages are being sent."
  [07:26]

3. Neighborhood Dynamics and “Bird Gentrification”

Timestamp: [19:02 - 34:05]

Brett introduces the concept of "bird gentrification," where pigeons (the "low rent" birds) are replaced by more aggressive kestrels (the "high rent" birds):

"It's bird gentrification. We got rid of the pigeons… except for I'm not sure I like how he did it."
[05:01]

He expresses concern over the kestrels’ increasing numbers and their disruptive influence on his backyard.

• Community Involvement:
  Brett discusses the impact on his neighborhood, noting the presence of other birds and the general unease among residents. The conversation touches on strategies to deter these birds, including suggestions like using drones or shiny objects.

• Humorous Analogies:
  Brett humorously compares the kestrels and an accompanying owl to mobsters:

  "The owl is Tony Soprano. And the rest of them are his henchmen."
  [07:35]

  This analogy underscores the perceived hierarchy and control the birds exert over his property.

4. Public Service Announcement: Phoenix PD’s Military Training Alert

Timestamp: [20:19 - 24:34]

Interwoven with the main discussion, Brett critiques a Nextdoor App post from the Phoenix Police Department (PHX PD):

• Announcement Details:
  "Beginning Monday through June 21, the U.S. Department of Defense will be conducting military training around Phoenix… Residents may notice low flying helicopters, simulated gunfire, and controlled explosions."
  [20:19]

  The PHX PD advises residents not to call 911 during these exercises, framing it as standard military training.

• Brett’s Interpretation:
  Brett perceives this announcement skeptically, suggesting it inadvertently signals to malicious actors that there are opportune times to "start shooting and blowing things up":

  "It's the dumbest warning I've ever seen in my life. Isn’t this just an announcement to bad guys that there's a specific time you can start shooting…?"
  [21:14]

  His frustration highlights concerns about community safety and the effectiveness of such public announcements.

• Co-Hosts’ Perspectives:
  Brady Bogan and John Holmberg engage with Brett's skepticism, debating the intentions and implications of the PHX PD’s message.

5. Strategies and Solutions: Tackling the Kestrel Menace

Timestamp: [24:34 - 35:38]

Brett discusses various strategies to manage the kestrel invasion:

• Bird Repellents:
  "Some guy said there are bird repellent sprays you can get online… Does that kill everything though?"
  [24:00]

  Brett is skeptical about the effectiveness and potential collateral damage of chemical repellents.

• Physical Deterrents:
  Suggestions include using drones or reflective objects to scare the birds, though Brett notes that kestrels seem unbothered by such measures:

  "I've got to build a dome over the house… that's awful. But they're everywhere."
  [25:34]

• Extreme Measures:
  Brett contemplates more aggressive approaches, including the use of firearms, despite the legal and ethical implications:

  "I'll start shooting at them. That's a great idea."
  [25:54]

  His musings reflect a blend of frustration and desperation in dealing with the persistent bird problem.

• Community Suggestions:
  Co-hosts offer lighter suggestions, such as using shiny objects or playing loud music to deter the birds. Brett remains unconvinced, leading to humorous exchanges about unconventional deterrents like flamethrowers and paintball guns.

6. Closing Remarks and Community Reflections

Timestamp: [35:38 - 36:38]

The episode winds down with Brett reflecting on the ongoing battle with the kestrels and the lack of effective solutions. He mentions incidents where his dog enjoys carrying dead birds, adding a touch of dark humor to the situation.

"I got to keep the rats out. When I start shooting, I won't have them with those boys in the neighborhood."
[35:01]

Brady Bogan and John Holmberg continue to engage with Brett, blending concern with comedic banter, reinforcing the show's trademark mix of humor and real-life issues.

7. Notable Quotes

• Brett Fesley:

  "They’re like, 'Better get 20,' 'Get 15,' and I said, 'Sold.'”
  [05:00]

• Brett Fesley:

  "This is what the pigeon do, is…"
  [09:18]

• John Holmberg:

  "Make Holmberg Estates great again. Gotta build that wall, right?"
  [16:03]

• Brett Fesley:

  "I have to have my gun on me. I have to be prepared for it. But I mean, if the owl starts getting a little touchy feely, little too Italian, little handsy, starts talking with his wings, I'm dropping them like a bad habit."
  [26:56]

8. Insights and Conclusions

This episode highlights the challenges of urban wildlife management and the unintended consequences of community announcements. Brett’s humorous yet exasperated narrative sheds light on the complexities of coexisting with nature in a suburban setting. The interplay between the hosts adds a layer of relatability and entertainment, making complex issues accessible to the listeners.

Key takeaways include:

• Wildlife Encroachment: Even seemingly harmless birds can become problematic, leading to significant homeowner distress.
• Community Communication: Official announcements need careful consideration to avoid misinterpretation and unintended signals.
• Humor as Coping Mechanism: The hosts use humor to navigate and discuss frustrating real-life issues, enhancing listener engagement.

Note: This summary omits promotional segments and non-content-related dialogues to focus on the episode's core discussions and themes.