06-19-25 - Greg Warren - Tempe Improv - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 06-19-25 - Greg Warren - Tempe Improv - In Studio
Release Date: June 19, 2025
Host/Author: Greg Warren, Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD

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Introduction

In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness hosted by Greg Warren, listeners are treated to an evening of humorous banter, sharp observations, and relatable anecdotes. Recorded live at Tempe Improv, Greg is joined by an unnamed comedian whose candid and comedic insights drive the conversation. The episode delves into everything from celebrity news and barbecue woes to quirky tea preferences and the challenges of managing personal hydration in extreme heat.

---

Celebrity Gossip: Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins' Split

[01:40] Greg Warren:
The episode kicks off with Greg addressing a humorous take on the high-profile split between Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. The conversation quickly becomes a playful jab at celebrity lives, with Greg quipping, “Susan Sarandon owned a pingpong store,” leading to laughs and light-hearted skepticism about the truth of the statement.

[02:00] Unnamed Comedian:
The guest responds with disbelief, “She owned a pingpong table tennis. Come on,” fostering a friendly debate about the accuracy of celebrity news and the often bizarre details that come with it.

---

The BBQ Debate: Frustrations with Restaurant Inconsistencies

[02:55] Greg Warren:
Transitioning seamlessly, Greg steers the conversation towards a universal pet peeve: inconsistent availability of menu items in barbecue joints. “When I ask for ribs at 2:30 in the afternoon, they say they haven’t had ribs since 11:05,” Greg expresses his frustration, highlighting the gap between advertising and actual service.

[04:24] Unnamed Comedian:
The guest shares similar experiences, lamenting the untimely absence of advertised items and the disappointment it brings. “It feels like it’s my fault when they don’t have the sauce they advertised,” he adds, resonating with many listeners who have faced similar issues.

[07:00] Greg Warren:
Greg sarcastically suggests, “Maybe they’re getting squeezed by their distributors,” humorously attributing the shortages to a flawed supply chain rather than poor management.

Notable Quote:
[08:00] Unnamed Comedian:
“I am mad, man. I like when you go to support. You go to the steak place. Oh, we're out of the...”

---

Tea vs. Coffee: A Comedic Take on Beverage Preferences

[13:00] Greg Warren:
The dialogue shifts to a spirited debate over tea preferences, especially the infamous Earl Grey. Greg points out, “When Brady says, ‘not my cup of tea,’ it’s a nice way of saying this is gross,” dissecting the polite dismissal behind seemingly mild phrases.

[14:35] Greg Warren:
An advertisement break for Chime seamlessly blends back into the conversation, maintaining the show's flow.

[15:37] Unnamed Comedian:
The guest hilariously recounts his disdain for Earl Grey, “I have one sip of the tea... I walk to the door. Right in the garbage,” showcasing his strong preferences with comedic flair.

[16:53] Greg Warren:
Greg teases, “You think she would turn you,” poking fun at the social repercussions of such strong opinions.

Notable Quote:
[17:10] Greg Warren:
“Here's your eyeballing that you are 56. This is what a 56-year-old man does for fun. Eyeballs. Tea shops and I don't know, maybe that one's on the list, but we'll see.”

---

Dealing with Extreme Heat: Hydration and Humor

[18:08] Unnamed Comedian:
The conversation takes a turn towards personal experiences with extreme heat, as the comedian shares, “I went for like a two-hour walk and I was hydrated. I was drinking Gatorade... But I still felt the heat for three days.”

[19:00] Greg Warren:
Greg humorously questions the necessity of such lengthy walks in the blazing sun, “Even on a nice day, who's walking around for two hours?”

[20:14] Unnamed Comedian:
The guest adds a funny anecdote about interacting with homeless individuals while staying hydrated, highlighting the unexpected encounters that come with unusual coping mechanisms.

Notable Quote:
[21:00] Unnamed Comedian:
“I got good news. 65.”

---

Marrying Billionaires: Light-Hearted Speculation

[23:11] Greg Warren:
In a playful tangent, Greg muses about the possibility of comedians marrying billionaires, drawing parallels to the American Dream. “If Jay can do it,” he suggests, igniting laughter and imaginative scenarios about newfound wealth and relationships.

[24:03] Greg Warren:
He continues, “I think I would watch Belly Full of Tea. It’s a bunch of guys in their 50s but belly full of Tea takes a lot of breaks,” blending humor with personal preferences.

Notable Quote:
[23:15] Greg Warren:
“I think a billion dollars is every man’s price.”

---

Final Banter: Lazy Boy Chairs and Self-Defense

[25:24] Unnamed Comedian:
The episode wraps up with a hilarious discussion on the perils of Lazy Boy chairs, escalating into mock self-defense strategies. “Find that clicker, you can take anything you want in this house,” the comedian jokes, poking fun at the dependency on remote-controlled recliners.

[26:03] Greg Warren:
Greg adds, “The eradication of the Lazy Boy chair,” humorously highlighting the exaggerated consequences of such everyday items.

Notable Quote:
[27:29] Unnamed Comedian:
“I lost that clicker a couple of days ago. If you find that clicker, you can have anything you want in this house.”

---

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends humor with everyday frustrations, making it a relatable and entertaining listen. From celebrity gossip and barbecue disappointments to the nuances of tea preferences and coping with extreme heat, Greg Warren and his guest offer a comedic lens through which listeners can view their own experiences. Whether you're a fan of lively debates or just looking for a good laugh, this episode delivers a perfect mix of entertainment and insightful humor.

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Tune In:
Catch more episodes of Holmberg's Morning Sickness weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10 AM on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), the 98 KUPD app, or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

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You agree to receive recurring automated marketing.

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Available@pocket hose.com terms. You thought that was funny? Morning sickness.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Greg Warren]

What the hell is wrong with you? No, no. I don't know that you're telling the truth. Greg Warren is here. I think he might have just lied to us. Right here is Susan Sarandon knows a pingpong store.

[Unnamed Comedian]

She owned a pingpong table tennis.

Come on.

[Greg Warren]

Okay. Sorry about that.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Oh yeah.

[Greg Warren]

In.

[Unnamed Comedian]

In. In Manhattan called Spin and.

[Greg Warren]

Really?

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Susan Sarandon of Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Atlantic City.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Was this while they were together or she did spin that she got it.

[Greg Warren]

With the divorce settlement.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't know, man. Well, I, I didn't know they divorce now. I don't feel funny at all.

[Greg Warren]

It got depressing fast with it. No, I've just broke the news that Susan Saran and Tim Robbins aren't together, and Greg Warren is miserable at the 10pm Prov tonight. You are here or you're staying for the weekend, though?

[Unnamed Comedian]

No, just tonight.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, okay. All right.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Night only.

[Greg Warren]

What's the deal? How come you're not sticking around?

[Unnamed Comedian]

I think I had a prior engagement.

[Greg Warren]

All right, so they got you off on the Thursday, said you're sticking to this one.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

All right, Beautiful. That's a good thing. Greg's at the 10pm prov tonight if you want to go 10. Pimprov.com is where you go. But in the meantime, you were asking about places to go get barbecuing.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And we told you Eric's family barbecue out there in the West Valley is about as good a barbecue. And I'm not one of those guys who. I'm like, well, the way you were saying. No, I've been to barbecues. I went to this one. It's good.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

That's how I am with almost all barbecue. It's like, man, that's fine.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

This one was game changer.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Really? Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

When I, I'm like, oh, I get it now.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I might need to go. I went to a little Miss last time.

[Greg Warren]

Good stuff.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Um, but you used to be in the barbecue game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

At a restaurant for eight years.

[Greg Warren]

Too many people. Too many people died.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Okay.

[Greg Warren]

Sarandon and, and Robbins divorced immediately after having a marriage.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Tofu wasn't a big seller.

I don't get it. Well, here's my thing, man. And I, I'd like to ask you about it. Just seems. And I'm, I, I'll go to some barbecue place every city I go.

[Greg Warren]

Sure.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Like, I, I love it. But it feels like it's the one business where it's just fine for them to not have the stuff that they advertise that they're going to have. It's as if it's my fault. I'll be like, hey, I'd like to have some ribs. You want ribs? You want ribs at 2:30 in the afternoon? Son, we ain't had ribs since 1105. They line up for these ribs. Billy, we got a boy out here says he wants some ribs. I don't know who's gonna bring it to him. Maybe Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. It's just if it like you guys put it on the menu, burn ends.

[Greg Warren]

And you're still open. And you're. You're open.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah, yeah. And. And I see your little sign back there that says, we've been round since 1974. I would just think during that time frame, you would. Had a. Gotten a little better handle on the demand for the product.

[Greg Warren]

I have a bit of a retort.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Okay.

[Greg Warren]

Any store that has such poor English on their signs, probably not great at preparation.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You could be. You could be right.

[Greg Warren]

Maybe you could gauge it off of we've been round, you're saying.

[Unnamed Comedian]

So if their grammar isn't intact, their.

[Greg Warren]

Ability to forecast is probably not great at forward thinking.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I think I see what you're saying.

It might be subject to that.

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

If they looked at that sign and said, that's for our place right there. We're hanging that and be like, maybe they're not the best planners.

[Unnamed Comedian]

And I. And of course, you guys, you can.

Bring on another smoker or, you know.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah. But you're right. No restaurants. Like, we're out of everything.

[Unnamed Comedian]

No. Yeah. They don't say that. And they don't make it like it's your fault. They apologize usually. Yes.

Now that's true.

[Greg Warren]

Barbecue places make you feel bad.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Little Miss. What kind of moron are you that you would come in here and ask for the thing that we said we were going to have?

[Greg Warren]

Little Miss used to close the doors before they opened. Like, you get in line before they opened and then before they actually said, we're open, they're like, that's it. End of the line.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Understand them.

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

That you people are showing up before you're open and you're saying, nope, you're not eating here.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I did wait in line at Little Miss.

[Greg Warren]

I waited an hour.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah. And the other thing is, man, I don't care for when they do that. Like, we're open from 11 till we're out. Whenever we run out. How about you guys just see if you can stretch it to 3:30? Like just stretch. Just. Just stretch it to 3:30.

[Greg Warren]

Order more.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yes.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I did break a rule with you guys because. Because, you know, I go every city.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Comedian]

And a while ago, I sort of stopped asking the locals where to go.

[Greg Warren]

Oh.

[Unnamed Comedian]

And you guys proved me right, because it's never close. It's never. It's. It's always, I want to go this place by my hotel. You don't want to go there. You don't want to go there. You got to travel that's not real barbecue. That's not. Here's what you're going to do. You went on freeway, you gonna go in about 47 miles, you're gonna come to a rusted down mailbox. Now you turn right, make a right. You know I'm talking about.

[Greg Warren]

Brady knows where you're at right there.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Brady knows. You get on that gravel road and you just keep going. Now there's a man lives in a dirt hole. Now he comes out of that hole every Thursday morning with a brisket. That's some barbecue. That's. He don't take money. You gotta give him baseball cards. But it's a.

[Greg Warren]

It's.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It's what you're gonna want. Right.

[Greg Warren]

There you go to go describing him this scenario.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

Yes. He would take baseball cards over money. He's a trader.

[Unnamed Comedian]

How are you really?

[Greg Warren]

Oh, Brady's a trader. Brady would much rather trade you a thing than pay cash money. I love that you just said that. Because I live with it. It's fantastic.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Barter town.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. You know what I just thought of too? These barbecue guys that get arrogant with you. Maybe this is a full like pyramid trickle down that their distributors are like, hey, we need to order extra for tomorrow. We got a big line.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You want to do what?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, extra meat. Really? You're closing at 11 tomor. Maybe it just also. So they're getting.

[Unnamed Comedian]

They're getting squeezed.

[Greg Warren]

They get squeezed by the guys they order from. The farmers are like, you want more pigs? Okay. Right. Hey, that's junior. This guy wants more pigs for his popular rep. You're closing at noon?

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah, yeah.

How many smokers you got?

Yeah, yeah. There's just one guy in Des Moines, Iowa, that is. That is starting off this whole thing just.

[Greg Warren]

The whole thing trickles down from that dude who can't keep up.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And it's all everybody's fault when you try to order the food. You're right that now I'm mad about it.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I am mad, man.

I like when you go to support. You go to the steak place. Oh, we're out of the.

[Greg Warren]

If I go to McDonald's, I know that the ice cream machine is not going to be working. So take it off the menu. Make it a special. Put a sign up hand.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Finally turned into a lawsuit.

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

People sued because they're like, get it off the menu. I'm wasting my time. Your ice cream's delicious.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Really?

[Greg Warren]

Oh, it never works.

[Unnamed Comedian]

The machine.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. The company made the.

[Unnamed Comedian]

The company made machine.

Yeah.

Were exclusively the contracted to repair them.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Comedian]

So Those machine in one guy all the time and all the running upside job to me. Oh, it was.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, it was. It was mine.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It was.

[Greg Warren]

It was a mob Donald.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Oh, broke. We gotta send a repair down there.

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

We have to get into the hour. We have to get into this being. And we talked a little bit about it. This sounds like I'm going down one way and I'm not. It's a great day for comedy. It is today, June 19th. A great day for comedy.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Okay.

[Greg Warren]

And it's not what you think. I'm not going to go to. It is the hope of the American dream lives for all comedians now that Jay Moore has sold the Lakers for $10 billion.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Oh, that's right, man.

[Greg Warren]

Think about that like you're in the same profession.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Me and more.

[Greg Warren]

You could accidentally marry a billionaire who.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You're right, man.

[Greg Warren]

It's a great day for you people.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I didn't even think about that.

[Greg Warren]

And that's a bad thing to say on Juneteenth. It's a great day for you people. I should probably rephrase how I said it. It's a that for comedians.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Because you guys are the ones like the dreams alive. If Jay can do it.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Greg could do.

[Unnamed Comedian]

What's he got? I mean.

[Greg Warren]

Right.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Well, there's a journey involved.

[Greg Warren]

Oh yeah. He had some problems.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Are you ready? I mean, you got to go deep into drugs.

[Greg Warren]

You probably have to have a drug.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Bottom out at one time.

[Greg Warren]

Dig yourself.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Seems like. Seems like I'm at an advanced stage to be really getting into drugs.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. No, it seems like. Yeah. If you haven't done it by now.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

That's how I feel.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It feels sort of really stupid.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, probably not.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Just might not come out of it.

I'm gonna take a run at it right now.

[Greg Warren]

Now's the time I'm really diving in to the heavy hitters.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. But it is. Would you. Are you a married guy?

[Unnamed Comedian]

No.

[Greg Warren]

Have you been married?

[Unnamed Comedian]

No.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, good for you.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It's all for this moment. And. Yeah. And I don't know. You guys are sports guys. I mean, can you tell me, is there any daughters of any of the NBA teams out there that are eligible or.

[Greg Warren]

I'm telling you right now. Worth the search.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I don't know. But that's what Google was invented.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I. I like was dating the girl.

[Greg Warren]

That's right. The Bucks.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Owner, Milwaukee Bucks.

Okay.

She's pretty.

Yeah. Okay. That's good.

I think we lost the last hunt.

[Greg Warren]

Has there ever been a comedian that's married a Billionaire before a man. One like a man comedian, not a man billionaire.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't know.

[Greg Warren]

I don't. I think Jay's the first.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I mean, Stedman did some.

[Greg Warren]

Steadman's a hero.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

He did some improv stuff.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, he was. Yeah, that's right. Stedman Sir Laugh a lot.

[Unnamed Comedian]

That's right.

[Greg Warren]

When he was in that improv troupe. Yeah.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I played freeze tag with Steadman a couple of times.

[Greg Warren]

We put yes and once, and he was terrible.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah. He's not. He just knows you.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

But he said yes and to Oprah just enough. And now he's got the house. Yeah. Would you. Would you be interested in that kind of thing? Brady brought up this disgusting idea. The 600 pound sisters. Are you familiar with that show?

[Unnamed Comedian]

No, I'm not.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, well, I think it tells the story. Just with the man I got.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I got. I gotta tell you, I know nothing about it, but I have a feeling. I think I do. You've got a picture. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Kind of gives the game away.

[Unnamed Comedian]

These aren't pretty girls.

[Greg Warren]

Well, no, but they've all the. They've lost all the weight except the skin. Still. They're like, okay. Old curtains.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And one of them has one tooth. And I don't know why she's gone through the great lengths to lose all this weight. Never went to the dentist to get her teeth fixed. But Brady said, would you. If she was a billionaire, would you. Would you?

[Unnamed Comedian]

No.

[Greg Warren]

Brady just showed you a picture.

[Unnamed Comedian]

She might be nice. I really. I really. Especially at 56. Like, I just don't want to comment on anybody's looks.

[Greg Warren]

No, no, no, I'm with you. Except hers. I mean, it's pretty easy.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I just don't think it's a match.

[Greg Warren]

From. You're being very diplomatic.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't think it's a match.

Even dolled up a little bit more.

No, she does. She does look nicer there.

[Greg Warren]

Well, no, she's got some lipstick on.

[Unnamed Comedian]

She did her hair again, this girl. I. I'm gonna guess she would probably watch, you know, a YouTube video of mine or something. Be like, absolutely not.

[Greg Warren]

No.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You don't think so? Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You think she would turn you.

[Unnamed Comedian]

She may not be interested in me.

[Greg Warren]

I don't know that.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Telling you, I think you got to raise your.

[Greg Warren]

To be fair, security levels.

[Unnamed Comedian]

She is no longer 600.

[Greg Warren]

No, she's down to about 100 and something. Yeah. And it isn't for her. It isn't. I mean, it's not that so much as it would be the way she looks. I'll say it, not attractive to me at all. And I think that's kind of what you're saying. And you're being much nicer than I am.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I think a good way. I always try to say it's. I don't think it's a match.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. I think it's when. When Brady always says the phrase not my cup of tea.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

It's basically a nice way of saying this is gross. She's disgusting.

[Unnamed Comedian]

No, that's not what he said.

[Greg Warren]

In a weird way.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

No.

[Richard Karn]

Wouldn't you say that about.

[Greg Warren]

No, because if it's not your cup, I'm not drinking this. It's because something has. Has put you off on it. So you're saying physical.

[Unnamed Comedian]

That girl.

[Greg Warren]

The extreme hygiene. Probably. Yeah. Because you're won't. Somebody has to.

[Unnamed Comedian]

No. This girl in Detroit, I think she might have thought I was disgusting because I think she. I think she used the cup of tea one. You got that?

[Greg Warren]

You're not my cup of tea.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You're saying she didn't. It wasn't just.

But it sounded nicer than.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, sure.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Would you rather have it?

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, because I'm a realist. You guys walk away.

[Unnamed Comedian]

That's a crumbling man. Sarandon and Robbins. Robbins are not together. Not their cup of tea in Detroit actually thinks I'm disgusting.

[Greg Warren]

You had a girl say that to you. I think you're not my cup of tea.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It's a British girl. It was over tea.

[Greg Warren]

Well, she's very specific.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm more of an Earl Gray.

[Greg Warren]

I had a lay this Earl Gray.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Hate it.

[Greg Warren]

My. See now that's what I like to hear. Definitive dislike.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I've got. I've got real opinions about.

What's your go to.

Then here's man, you go to a tea place or you go to a coffee place.

[Greg Warren]

Sure. And.

[Unnamed Comedian]

And they give you. I'll say I have an iced iced black tea and I like a good ice black. Yeah. If. If they go Earl Grey. Earl Grey does not belong as an iced tea.

[Greg Warren]

No.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It should never be an iced tea.

[Greg Warren]

No.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It's a breakfast tea.

Right. Or it's a breakfast tea. Now don't get now an English breakfast tea. Now there's a tea.

[Greg Warren]

Now you got some tea.

[Unnamed Comedian]

That's a tea.

[Greg Warren]

Ok. Street tea.

[Unnamed Comedian]

That's a tea.

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[Greg Warren]

Holmberg's morning sickness but Earl Gray I've.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I, I've gone right to the garbage with it.

[Greg Warren]

No kidding. You're walking right to the trash.

[Unnamed Comedian]

And did you see Earl on the page?

I I no I I there's a perfume to it. Like there's a smell. So I get this. I have, I have one sip of the tea. I'm with my buddy who is a friend of mine now, but he opened for me like the first time ever. We go on the road. I go to the tag. I I take one sip. I walk to the door. Right in the garbage.

[Greg Warren]

No kidding. I won't even tolerate all of it. Right.

[Unnamed Comedian]

And he was baffled by it.

[Greg Warren]

Tolerant of Earl Grey tea.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I can't.

[Greg Warren]

So the lady in Detroit, you were her Earl Grey.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Well, now that you put it that way.

[Greg Warren]

It's tough. Not my cup of tea is not a nice thing. We think we're being nice, but you're basically saying this will never be mine. This is disgusting. Yeah, it's true.

[Unnamed Comedian]

So what then do you drink? What's your.

Well, I'd like an English breakfast with you.

[Greg Warren]

There you go.

[Unnamed Comedian]

After I get off the air. Probably go to Starbucks and get their Emperor's Clouds and Mist. It's a green. I don't see what's funny about that.

I've never.

Because it's a grande.

I would never.

It's two tea bags and it's about that.

[Greg Warren]

That is a hilarious man order. I don't know why.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I'll take Evente Clouds and Mist Yeah.

I think that's grande. Is usually where I go.

Grande clouds too much.

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

It sounds like you believe in unicorns.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't. I don't know.

[Greg Warren]

Makes me think you might.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It's. Yeah. If. If I'm gonna have that. It's a hot tea. Nothing better than they make a nice. There's a. At the hotel I'm staying. I saw a coffee shop and. And they looked like a pretty good iced black tea. I'm gonna give that a shot too.

[Greg Warren]

Here's your eyeballing that you are 56. This is what a 56 year old man does for fun. Eyeballs. Tea shops and I don't know, maybe that one's on the list, but we'll see.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Hey, make it sound like it's not exciting.

[Greg Warren]

You're right. I'm doing less. So I mean, you know, I'm not. I have no tea plans today.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You have our order and go I'll take a. Your black tea and get it. And they go.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You do a spit take.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I think that's. I think that's amateur.

[Greg Warren]

I do too. You know, bush league stuff.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah. I go right in the garbage and it makes a statement.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. And I dunk it.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah. And it makes a sound and you want that thud. I want them to know what they're doing is wrong.

[Greg Warren]

The testosterone is just falling out of the room. Like the tea conversation just eliminates. I mean oddly. Oddly enough it's tea and it's low T. Greg Warren's at the 10p night only Tempe improv.com and it's a. It's good you're here on the hottest day of the year so far. We'll probably get hotter. It's going to be nasty today, man.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Last time I was here is the fourth.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, and it'll get you.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Here's how dumb I am. I was like as long as you stay hydrated, you're fine.

[Greg Warren]

Sure.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You know. So I went. I went out and walked on the 4th. It was like this.

[Greg Warren]

It's hot.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I went for like a two hour walk and I was hydrated. I was like drinking Gatorade. You know. I'd stop in a convenience store and drink Gatorade and water and everything. So I was hydrated. But I still like for three days. I. I guess the heat still get to you even though you're hiding.

You're like a dry sponge. It's weird how the water.

Yeah, man. I had to lay down for a couple of days.

[Greg Warren]

Not outside though. Yeah. Stay in that Greg, just stop walking around.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You gotta go inside when you do that next time.

[Greg Warren]

Even on a nice day, who's walking around for two hours?

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't know, man.

[Greg Warren]

Something going on that's working.

[Unnamed Comedian]

These people in my life.

[Greg Warren]

I'm just gonna. You went kung fu in the middle of July.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I did, man. Yeah, I did. I walked around for two hours. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You know, good tea. I'm. I'm. I'm the. I'm not helping your day at all. But I wonder if that would be a silver alert. When does that kick in?

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah, man. You're. What?

[Greg Warren]

When does that kick in, Sir? Yeah, right.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Sir.

[Greg Warren]

Me at 56. Are you a Silver Alert?

[Unnamed Comedian]

55.

[Greg Warren]

When do you become a silver alert?

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't think I'd. I don't think I'm.

[Greg Warren]

I don't want you to be one.

[Unnamed Comedian]

No, man, I'll be 53 in July.

[Greg Warren]

No, I'm worried about me.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I think I. I think. I think they. I. And then you interact with the homeless a little bit, too, when you're walking around. This guy, I still love him, man. He was calling me og I went into the community, like, it's the OG og. And he asked me to buy him something.

[Greg Warren]

Sure.

[Unnamed Comedian]

And then he said he was a fighter. He said, he's a boxer.

[Greg Warren]

That's bad.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah. And. And I was like, yeah, man, I'm gonna get something for the champ here. And he got. I raised his hand up. I was like, I want whatever the champ wants. And he got some monster energy drink. I'm like, you can't be drinking monster energy drink if you're in training for a fight. Like, that stuff's not. And then he's like, his manager guy is the older guy, like, my age guy was out there, and I'm like, you can't have him drinking the. He's like, man, he does. Well, no matter what.

[Greg Warren]

He was a homeless man training for fights.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Now that you say it, I think I may have been.

I got good news.

What?

65.

[Greg Warren]

What's. Oh, 65.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Okay.

[Greg Warren]

So we're just missing people. Thank God.

[Unnamed Comedian]

A little bit of time.

[Greg Warren]

All right. Because I'll be filming three in July. I don't. I don't want to be a silver alert. And I think someday I might be.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah. I don't. Yeah. I wouldn't take you for one if.

[Greg Warren]

You'Re not right now. Maybe a little bit bit. Like, if I saw you out there.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Right now, I'd be like, this guy's training for something.

[Greg Warren]

You Think so?

[Unnamed Comedian]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Warren]

Well, you think that of a few people. This is a problem you had. This guy must be a fighter. I'm gonna buy him some.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I did, man. He said he was a fighter.

[Greg Warren]

That's all it takes. You're pretty suggestible shape, man.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It did really great reach.

Dude's hydrated.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. Bloated a little. Maybe too much water in your case. Greg Warren is at the 10p improv 10pmprov.com Only tonight if you want to go. Just kill some time and get inside. That's the beautiful thing.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

You always want your audience just looking for shelter.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah, man.

[Greg Warren]

They don't care who's on stage. But you guys are providing air shelter and some food.

[Unnamed Comedian]

There's air conditioning.

[Greg Warren]

There's a nice thing to do.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Real cool.

[Greg Warren]

That's really nice. Do you have plans to. You're staying the whole weekend or you're just gonna do.

[Unnamed Comedian]

No, I got. I gotta show. Matter of fact, I got a show tomorrow night in.

[Greg Warren]

Oh, it's another city. You have a priority.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Santa Maria. Yeah. Yeah.

Unbelievable.

Like up the coast in la. It's beautiful. And then Saturday night I'm doing the Ice House in la. And guess who owns the Ice House.

[Greg Warren]

Genie Buss.

[Unnamed Comedian]

That's right. Jeanie Buss owns the ice.

[Greg Warren]

Maybe not anymore.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Well, that's what I'm worried. Is this thing gonna. I was really.

No, it's not packaged in.

[Greg Warren]

You don't know that.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You think they sold, man? I wonder if I sold all of.

[Greg Warren]

This deal if it was all part of this. Maybe you belong to the Dodgers.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Wow.

[Greg Warren]

Well, you gotta find out. And then you're gonna be rubbing shoulders with billionaires on some.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Saturday I met the. The last time I was at the Ice House. Like one of the brothers from that HBO show.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah. You know the winning time.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was there. Man, I like that show so much.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I can't believe they canceled that show now.

[Greg Warren]

Well, year we had a whole second half of the 80s to deal with.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I know, man.

[Greg Warren]

I loved every second of that thing. But would you if that brother billionaire maybe had an idea on you?

[Unnamed Comedian]

Oh, no, man.

[Greg Warren]

I can't get you to do anything.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Well, listen, man, I love that you had to that. That. That's. That's how desperate I am. Yeah, you. You had me.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, you were.

[Unnamed Comedian]

You turned me switching teams. I'm not a gay man. I think you know that. And then. And then so you're like. Well, his. His prospects are so low that walking.

[Greg Warren]

Around town, hanging out with a home.

[Unnamed Comedian]

We haven't gone through any of the other, I don't know, franchises.

[Greg Warren]

I'm not a gay man either, but every man has his price. I think a billion dollars.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I could get into it.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I think I. The lifestyle. I would. I would envelop myself in it.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah. I mean, you know, I've gotten to the age where now I'm like, listen, this thing is not going to work out how I planned anyways.

[Greg Warren]

How well is it going your way?

[Unnamed Comedian]

All these dreams that I had, they're probably not exactly gonna work, so. So it's fine. I don't need to do anything.

[Greg Warren]

As we age, our tastes change. I used to hate tomatoes. I like them now. Eat them like an apple.

[Unnamed Comedian]

An apple.

[Greg Warren]

Maybe it's the same with gay. You're really for a billion dollars now. I'm not doing it for nothing. I'm not. I'm not going over to the Circle K with the Champ.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And I'm gonna say, hey, how about you and I give this a try? I don't know, but for a billion dollars, I'm pretty much gonna be that guy's best man.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I wish I'd have got that name, that guy's name when he wins the belt. Then. You guys, you guys.

[Greg Warren]

I'll just know it's the Champ. Brought to you by Monster Energy. Yeah, he'll be the only one.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't think you're supposed to be drinking Monster act when. When you're training for a fight.

[Greg Warren]

Well, you are here this weekend looking for not only love, but a nice trail to hike on. Some water.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

And God knows what else. Some good barbecue. Yeah. Anything else we can get you while you're in town? Anything else you need?

[Unnamed Comedian]

No, man. I mean, you guys told me about the barbecue. I don't know if I'm gonna go all the way out to that place because it's only here for a day. If I was here on Saturday.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, you're only here today.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Just today.

[Greg Warren]

Well, you got nothing plan I might go to.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I told you, I'm getting some tea.

[Greg Warren]

Well, that's going to eat up some time. Yeah.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I might go to barbecues.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I think. I think they're good, man.

[Greg Warren]

It is good. If you're looking for good, that's good. Eric's is, I understand, remarkable, but it is a whole.

[Unnamed Comedian]

And maybe I need to do.

[Greg Warren]

It's remarkable. And while you're here, you're just here for a day. Get a belly full of hot tea, get in your car, roll over. 45 minutes or so. And get some barbecue in there and then drive back.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't see Vienna moment there.

[Greg Warren]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unnamed Comedian]

That's the other thing. And I don't think I'm selling a lot of tickets right here. But at our. You get a belly full of tea, man. You can't just go right, right out to the. Like I gotta spend about. Yeah, there's, there's about a hour and a half period where I just got to go to the restroom. Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

It's just you got to make sure that everything's clear.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Get that all cleared out because the tea really accelerates it.

[Greg Warren]

Belly Full of Tea is a good band name.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

I think I kind of. I think I would watch Belly Full of Tea. It's a bunch of guys in their 50s but belly full of Tea takes a lot of breaks.

[Unnamed Comedian]

That's when you get good.

[Greg Warren]

That's right. That's when you're great at everything thing. Well, good luck. I hope you find everything.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Drive you over there.

[Greg Warren]

Brad will do it.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

Then you can nap.

[Greg Warren]

Do you not want to hang out with Brad that long?

[Unnamed Comedian]

I like Brad a lot but it's.

[Greg Warren]

An awful lot to commit to.

[Unnamed Comedian]

No, I just feel, I feel like, like.

[Greg Warren]

Would you rather walk? It's about three hour walk. I think you can do that. Greg, leave us with words of wisdom. Sir. Please change the world.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Man.

[Greg Warren]

It's good stuff.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It's a lot of pressure.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Unnamed Comedian]

It is, it's a, it's, it's, it's, it's quite a bit of pressure.

[Greg Warren]

If you could change. If you could be in charge for a day.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't care for lazy boy chairs.

[Greg Warren]

You would eliminate the lazy.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't think it's just, just go to bed is.

[Greg Warren]

You know what?

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't, I don't care for them and I feel like there's no in between.

You don't want to ever sit up.

Straight like a man or go to bed like a man. I don't care for him.

[Greg Warren]

Lounging.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah. And, and unless you're over 75.

[Greg Warren]

Okay.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Over 75. You've earned the right to sit in.

[Greg Warren]

That chair and have it kind of take you in.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Right, right. Because I also. I don't like a lazy boy chair because I feel lazy. I feel like if something was going to go down it would take me.

[Greg Warren]

It's a while.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Like I'll fight you but it's going to take me about six minutes to find the lever.

[Greg Warren]

Give me a second.

[Unnamed Comedian]

All that. If there's a home invasion electric.

It's slower.

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

All right.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah.

[Greg Warren]

The eradication of the lazy boy chair.

[Unnamed Comedian]

I don't care for him.

My dad.

Unless you 70. If you're 75 and there's a home invasion, you're not getting out of that chair. Take whatever you want.

My dad.

I lost that clicker a couple days ago. If you find that clicker, you can have anything you want in this house.

[Greg Warren]

You're actually happy there's a home invasion. The guy can help you out.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Find that clicker, you can take.

[Greg Warren]

What?

[Unnamed Comedian]

There's an old woman down the hallway. You can take her.

Yeah, my dad at the end had.

[Greg Warren]

The one that stood him up.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah, yeah. Straight all the way up?

Just about.

Now we got something.

Yeah, now you can defend yourself after.

In eight minutes, they'll clear the place.

[Greg Warren]

Out, make more room for fighting. Yeah, that's how you think. Greg. Warren. Tempe. Improv's always good to see you, man.

[Unnamed Comedian]

Yeah, great seeing you guys.

[Greg Warren]

One day, that's all you get with Greg. Go down there. Tempimprov.com that's where it's at. Holmberg's morning sickness.