06-24-25 - The Simulation Becoming More Real As Trump Dropped The F*Bomb On Press - Did Local News Send A Coded Hit In Donut Story - New Study Claims 92 Percent Of Men w/Big Noses Have Big Units - Emailer Asks Bret About Usage Of Broads In The Office

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode 06-24-25 Summary

Release Date: June 24, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Broadcasted on: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show, Holmberg's Morning Sickness, delivers another engaging episode filled with humor, current events, and lively discussions. Hosted by John Holmberg alongside Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, the show tackles a variety of topics ranging from political outbursts to peculiar local news stories. Here’s a detailed breakdown of the episode’s key segments:

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1. Weekly Pick of the Litter: Eliza the Dog [00:08 - 01:37]

Bret Vesely kicks off the episode by promoting the week's special dog adoption feature. Sponsored by Turf Monsters AZ, they spotlight Eliza, an 11-year-old dog from Lostarhome.org. Bret encourages listeners to visit 98KUPD.com to view Eliza’s video and consider adopting or fostering her.

Notable Quote:
Bret: “Eliza is 11 years old. So get on over there. Check that out.” [00:15]

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2. Weather Chatter and Summer Reflections [01:37 - 05:15]

The hosts transition to discussing the unusually mild summer in Arizona. John Holmberg reminisces about more typical summer weather, contrasting it with the previous year’s extreme heat.

Notable Quote:
John Holmberg: “It's been a weird one because remember last summer everybody said, well, this is how it's going to be forever.” [01:45]

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3. President Trump's F-Bomb Outburst [05:15 - 08:06]

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Bret Vesely detailing an unprecedented moment where President Trump reportedly used an F-word during a press conference. The hosts analyze the implications, comparing it to characters like Rob Ford and referencing the “simulation theory” pondering whether such events are scripted or AI-generated.

Notable Quotes:
Bret Vesely: “I've never heard that before the real F word.” [02:12]
Bret Vesely: “He’s angry, and I giggle at that sometimes.” [05:30]

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4. Local News Under Scrutiny: The "Heroes Donuts" Story [15:04 - 19:58]

The hosts scrutinize a local news segment announcing the rebranding of Lamar's Donuts to Heroes Donuts. Bret Vesely suspects a coded message behind the innocuous announcement, humorously suggesting it might signal a hit on Lamar’s Donuts.

Notable Quotes:
Bret Vesely: “Somebody's getting murdered. Who cares about Lamar's Donuts on Bell Road and I17?” [15:17]
Bret Vesely: “It is definitely the green light to a guy with a suppressor on the end of a weapon, that's for sure.” [16:36]

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5. The Nose and Penis Size Correlation Study [20:15 - 28:40]

In a humorous and satirical segment, Bret Vesely introduces a fictional Japanese study claiming a 92% correlation between men’s nose size and penis size. The conversation is filled with exaggerated banter and mock-seriousness, highlighting the absurdity of such studies.

Notable Quotes:
Bret Vesely: “What has become a 92% fact is that if you have a big nose, you probably have a big wang.” [24:24]
Bret Vesely: “Science says so. It's a study by scientists to determine...” [24:37]

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6. Listener Email: Usage of "Broads" in the Workplace [32:00 - 36:50]

The episode features an email from a listener named Alan, who inquires about the appropriateness of using the term "broads" in the office. Bret Vesely and the hosts engage in a comedic debate over the term’s offensiveness, reflecting on evolving workplace norms versus traditional slang.

Notable Quotes:
Bret Vesely: “Is this acceptable behavior? Yes, because of you.” [33:21]
Bret Vesely: “We are hurtling into idiocracy.” [15:17]

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7. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts [36:50 - 43:32]

As the show nears its end, the hosts continue their playful banter, touching on topics like plastic surgery, pop culture references, and personal anecdotes about family members' quirks. They wrap up the episode with light-hearted humor, maintaining the show’s signature entertaining tone.

Notable Quote:
Bret Vesely: “Cheers to all you dudes out there have been living with these giant noses all your life.” [39:53]

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Key Themes and Highlights

• Humor and Satire: The hosts consistently use humor to discuss serious topics, making light of political events and sensational local news.

• Listener Engagement: The inclusion of listener emails adds an interactive element, allowing the show to address real-world concerns with a comedic twist.

• Current Events Commentary: From presidential outbursts to bizarre local news stories, the show offers a unique and often irreverent take on current happenings.

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Notable Quotes Overview

1. Bret Vesely on Eliza: “Eliza is 11 years old. So get on over there. Check that out.” [00:15]
2. John Holmberg on Last Summer: “It's been a weird one because remember last summer everybody said, well, this is how it's going to be forever.” [01:45]
3. Bret Vesely on Trump's Outburst: “I've never heard that before the real F word.” [02:12]
4. Bret on Codified News: “Somebody's getting murdered. Who cares about Lamar's Donuts...” [15:17]
5. Bret on the Study: “What has become a 92% fact is that if you have a big nose, you probably have a big wang.” [24:24]
6. Bret on Workplace Language: “Is this acceptable behavior? Yes, because of you.” [33:21]
7. Bret’s Closing Toast: “Cheers to all you dudes out there have been living with these giant noses all your life.” [39:53]

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness effectively blends humor with commentary on current events, providing listeners with both entertainment and a satirical perspective on Arizona’s societal quirks and national political happenings. Whether debating the legitimacy of a bizarre study or decoding potential threats in local news, the hosts maintain an engaging and lively atmosphere throughout the morning show.

For more episodes and updates, tune in weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 98KUPD or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness and it is time once again to talk to you about this week's pick of the litter, brought to you by our friends at Turf monsters. Turf monsters. AZ.com lost her home. Pet rescue is where I went for this week's pick of the litter and it is a special case. Eliza is this week's pick of the litter. The video is at 98kupd.com Click on pick a litter and see. Eliza is 11 years old. So get on over there. Check that out. They'll waive the adoption fees if Eliza's right for you. Also look into short term fostering from June 26th to July 3rd. They need fosters. Check it out at lostarhome.org still streaming Homburg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. This. That one got me. It's the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, There's Big Dick Toledo. Let's go, shall we? It is perfect outside, by the way. We are in paradise. It's been a weird one because remember last summer everybody said, well, this is how it's going to be forever. It's 110 degrees every day. We have like 107 days of the summer. We're over 110 most of June. We're gonna get it this year, almost all of July. And it's been actually pretty normal. Like, this is what, this is what I remember summer being like when I was a kid. And then in the next week or start seeing some monsoon storms and it's like by the book, which I'm kind of enjoying. Waking up and having your windows down in the car.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Beautiful out there. It's glorious outside. It is. And I've never heard. I kind of woke up laughing again. I'm here for the jokes. I don't know that the simulation is real. I don't know if we're living this matrix for real. If this is all AI, if we're uncovering the fact that we created our own universe through some sort of pod people thing like in the Matrix. Now we're discovering we're our own makers as we create our new overlords and AI Because I heard the president say the F word this morning in a press conference. And I've never heard that before the real F word. Homo. Effort. No, neither. I've never heard either.

[John Holmberg]

Not the N word.

[Brett]

No, no. Okay, the N word. Bread. We don't like that willy nilly with that. Nuclear. Nuclear bread. Nuclear. God darn it, Brett.

[Brady]

He was pissed.

[Brett]

He was furious. He's walking through that grass that they always. They don't have like a walkway for presidents. And surprised the grass is doing so well. They walk on that grass.

[John Holmberg]

Pavers out there.

[Brett]

Some pavers, some step by step pavers. They're always walking, parking the grass like hillbillies. It's very American. Then he's walking by and the press is yelling at him, you mad? Cause at this he. Look, that ceasefire thing he did yesterday, I mean, we punched Iran in the face. They did a coup. They called us and said, we're gonna throw a couple bombs at one of your bases to retaliate, make it look like we care, but just know that we're doing that. And they're like, all right, thank you. They did exactly. They did exactly what they said. We knocked those down. And then if you don't want to.

[Brady]

Save those, it's a waste of money. They're not gonna go anywhere.

[Brett]

We already have the. Mr. President, we might as well chuck them at you. So, yeah, it was the end of a dirt clawed fight. And they're like, I got six left, let me throw them. And so he's like, okay, go ahead, but thank you for the warning. And then they negotiate a ceasefire, which was huge. That was a monstrous kind. Look. And then Iran said in 12, I don't understand how a ceasefire works. It'll be like, all right, Brett, we're not going to punch each other starting in 12 hours. Yeah, we got six hours. What do you think's going to happen? I'm going to start chucking stuff. I got 12 hours to beat him up. Okay, consider it done. I hate that guy.

[Brady]

Maybe that's the amount of time they need for breakdown setting up stuff.

[Brett]

We've already started counting, Mr. President. We're on like 45 down to zero. It's so close. Let us have this and then we'll stop. So Iran launched a couple extra. And they're like, all right, they missed. And then Israel, we're going to launch ours now. And then they launched like a barrage and crushed like, like an hour or so after the ceasefire ended. Iran chucked like two. And Israel went nuts. And Trump is furious. And so he's walking through that grass this morning. What we have here is two countries that have been fighting so Long. They. They don't know what the they're doing. And then he keeps walking.

[John Holmberg]

I missed that.

[Brett]

Oh, my. What just happened? It, like, literally just happened a little bit ago. And you're like, whoa. I've never heard a president say the F word to the press like that. And I giggled and laughed and, like, just started to wonder what's going on. So he's not happy. And it's, you know, it's tense. It's a tense region. If it wasn't for all that oil, we'd let him just be like, Africa and ignore everything that goes on there. But it's. The money interests are so great in that area. We have to pay attention. Otherwise, it would be like, nobody knows what's going on in Africa. And there's a horrible stuff over there. We just don't have a stronghold on their minerals and oils. If we did, we'd be. We'd be constantly battling the warlords and stuff. It's crazy. But, man, that was fun because he hit it hard. He hit the F in fricative hard. Oh, they don't know what the they're doing. I'm like, whoa. And then he just starts storming away like it was a movie line delivery. Watching it right now.

[John Holmberg]

I'm trying to find it hang. I'm trying to find an edited version.

[Brett]

Pretty awesome. But no, then that's the crazy part. Like on Yahoo. No Edit. It was just straight on there. I was like, whoa. I thought I'd hear a beep. I didn't. It's like, no, don't dump it pretty quick.

[Brady]

It's pretty obvious.

[Brett]

Oh, I can hit it. If you find it, I can drop it. But it's. He's angry, and I giggle at that sometimes. I know it's where he's heading now.

[Brady]

Cause it's like his whole day is ruined. You know his plans.

[Brett]

It started at six. They did what? And last night, I was awake at, like, midnight. He was tweeting. Does this dude ever sleep? He's 80. We couldn't keep my grandpa, like, awake through a White Sox game. Although that's a White Sox game. I don't think anybody can stay awake through White Sox.

[John Holmberg]

I agree with him on that.

[Brett]

But, my God, it was impossible. Like, the only thing he stayed awake for was Archie Bunker reruns. And occasionally, like, White Sox winning game. He'd sit through the whole thing. For the most part, we'd lose him. I thought he faked sleeping most of the time to avoid my grandma coming in barking about some nonsense. And Now I'm kind of. As you get older, you understand. Oh, as dudes get into their 50s, they fake being asleep so nobody talks to him. I get it now. I see. I was out there going, oh, I'm sorry, you're asleep. No, I'm not. I'm just. I'm really good at making you think I am. So I talked to my friend Shelly this morning. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were sleeping. Is she gone? My dad was the master of one eye open. You'd walk by the couch, as one eye would open and look at you, and he was asleep, but he'd one eye ya across the room. And then once you looked at him, that eye would close. Be like, don't talk to me. He was huge about sleeping. My dad slept on the couch all the time.

[Brady]

Hey, Daddy.

[Brett]

Yeah. If he was home, he ate, he'd say the phrase, he'd come in the door and go, what's for sup? That was every day. And then he'd hit the couch, eat the food on the. On the. You know, was provided. And then he'd lay down and, like, he'd look at the TV and he'd go, what else is on? That was the last thing I usually heard from my dad every day was, what else is on? And then I'd start turning it, and I'd look back and both eyes were closed. And I'm like, wow. I made it through three of our five channels because he was too cheap to get cable. And he was asleep. And then he slept till like, 10, and he got up and he looked at everybody, and then he'd go to bed. I don't think he was Now. Now, as I age and get a little wiser with the world, I don't think my dad was ever really asleep. He was just avoiding talking to all of us. And I can't blame him. We had nothing but nonsense to levy at him. And it was.

[Brady]

Well, he's. He's yelling eight, ten hours a day.

[Brett]

No, he was. Well, he was. Yeah, and then. But then he was. That was a day. He had a desk job by then. Here he goes. I think this is. This is it. Watch. Yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Do they violated it? But Israel violated it too. Questioning if Israel is Israel. As soon as we made the deal, they came out and they dropped a load of bombs, the likes of which I'd never seen before. The biggest load that we've seen. I'm not happy with Israel. You know, when I say, okay, now you have 12 hours, you don't go out in the first hour. Just drop everything you have on them. So I'm not happy with them. I'm not happy with Iran either. But I'm really unhappy if Israel is going out this morning because the one rocket that didn't land, that was sh. Perhaps by mistake. That didn't land. I'm not happy about that.

[Brett]

You know what we have?

[Big Dick Toledo]

We basically have two countries that have been fighting so long and so hard that they don't know what the they're doing. Do you understand that?

[Brett]

And then he doesn't walk away. That's learned from. Yeah, those are his years of TV right there. That's how. Yeah, he dropped the mic and he walked to his helicopter. That is. That is. Come on. That's awesome. I don't care. I'm with you if you're a lib cuck or you're a wild righty. Brett's right. That's awesome. Dad's mad. Like when dad gets mad at the right people, you walk like. My dad's a badass. He's an idiot sometimes, but he's a badass. Now it is. I understand. I'm gonna hear from you, Cucks. Get your signs ready. But you guys have been cussing. Every time I look down at. At a. At a lib march, they've got signs that say F this, F that. Your. Your. Those politicians have been cussing like crazy lately. They're very angry. Tim Walls did it the other day because he wants to. He wants people to think he's a man, so he thinks they pretending. Look, Stretch, you can't do it. Decorum is lost in politics. They're saying the F word now. Idiocracy is.

[Brady]

Tim Wallace is going to come out and say it today. He's going to try to try it.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

I'm going to get you.

[Brett]

You suck rubber, you piece. That's not cussing, Tim. Go back in the tampon face. No, that's your stop, Tim. You don't know how to football coach. I gotta go. Yeah, that's my dad. Yeah. The only one that's proud of him is the neurodivergent kid. And I got no problem with that either. I'm just saying. Yeah, I'm. I'm not on either side. I do like that. If that was Barack a problem here is nobody knows what the going on. You'd have been like moron. Where'd that come from?

[Brady]

That is solid.

[Brett]

There's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Are.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Brett]

But you know for a fact he hears it every day. Good morning, honey. What the going on, Barack? Big Mike's mad. Everybody run.

[Brady]

That's what happens. It's not honey, it's Big Mike.

[Brett]

Morning, honey. You know what to call me, you mother string bean. Sorry about that, Big Mike. Boy lives. Hate that one. I get emailed about that a lot. What are you doing that for? You're racist. I'm like, how's that racist? I just think she's huge. You're racist because you hate my I thought Barack was a wonderful human being. Didn't agree with him on a lot of the things he did. I thought he was kind of feckless, but I thought he was an amazing representative of the United States. Morning, honey. What's for breakfast? Sorry to beef. You need to put some weight on. I don't feel you at all when you're on me. Well, that's rare. You're usually Shut up. Sorry, Big Mike. Everyone run.

[Brady]

I go talk somewhere.

[Brett]

I better go give a speech about something where Big Mike isn't allowed to be. I bet you he screamed Everybody run a lot in the White House. Just a mad scramble as Big Mike, you Don't want to see me when I'm angry. All right, everybody get out of here. Big Mike's mad.

[Brady]

My sleep number is three.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'm 86. I'm at 86, and I sleep hot. You sure do, Big Mike. Yeah. What the Is going on? Everybody get out of here. Big Mike Smash. But, yeah, if we had any present. But it is. We are hurtling into idiocracy. Mike Judge is the best philosopher since Socrates. He's unbelievable. That movie is turning into reality before our eyes. And if you watch the movie Idiocracy, it's. I think it's in, like, the year 2500. He thought it would take a couple hundred years for this. It took 12 before. It was like. It's pretty accurate now. My God. It's crazy. It's nuts. We do have a guy in the. In the WWE hall of Fame as president, which was kind of the idiocracy joke, is that President Camacho was a former wrestler. It's nuts. So what are you going to do? But, yeah, I'm only here for. I'm only here for the laughs, because I think that's all we've got right now. And that was a good one this morning. Even though it's a very serious topic, I still find it quite hilarious when he said what he said and then did the mic drop walk away. It's like when that. Remember that mayor in Toronto a few years ago, the crackhead one, Rob Ford? Yeah. When he said that thing live tv, when he just turned and said, by the way, the lady that said I wanted to eat her. I don't. And that was. That was in his press conference.

[Brady]

She said that? Yeah. The documentary on him is out right now.

[Brett]

I don't care to know more about him. I just know that that was a moment when I'm like, oh, by the.

[Brady]

Way, she said she wanted me.

[Brett]

I don't wanna. I don't want to eat that lady. I remember watching that on the news going, what the. It wasn't live when I saw it, but is that real people? And then I was like, I kind of think that's funny. Like, that dude's facing allegations by saying exactly what that woman. Oh, it's great.

[Brady]

Got so absurd that the people turn around. Like, we love this guy.

[Brett]

What happened there? Did he just say that? So it's happening before our eyes. Speaking of before our eyes. Well, I've got a whole bunch of things I just want to let you guys know that. Oh, I think I saw a hit on the News. Last night, I think I saw local news deliver a mob style message through a story. And I'd like Ian Schwartz from Channel three to let me know if I did or did not see this. But in the middle of a real newscast, a real one for no reason whatsoever, there was a news story where they just said Lamar's Donuts on Bell Road is temporarily closed while it undergoes a name change. It will now be Heroes Donuts. That was a news story. And I'm like, that is code. They called a code. Somebody's getting murdered. Who cares about Lamar's Donuts on Bell and i17 at all, changing names and all.

[Brady]

And that was it. Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't see nothing.

[Brett]

Don't worry about it. There was. There was video of Lamar's Donuts. Lamar's Donuts will be changing names to Heroes Donuts. So it is temporarily closed. That's. The snake flies high towards the sun. Like that's one of those, you know, the eagle flies close at midnight. It's that kind of set a new.

[Brady]

Way to slide in. Like for a five grand. We'll, we'll announce that on air.

[Brett]

We will. We'll call for a hit on your wife for another five. Yeah. That's how bad local TV news is, is that they'll take hit money. Now that is a. That's not a news story.

[John Holmberg]

Don't tell our salespeople down there. Oh man, we're going to be doing that all day long.

[Brett]

You talk about a slump.

[John Holmberg]

The chair is against the door.

[Brett]

You talk about a slump buster. These people will be will a hitman services. We would take that money right now. That is for sure. Yeah, I don't know. The Kentucky String Bean. The Kentucky String Bean is in the building. We'll be right back with weather. I'm like, what? What did she say? Who cares about Lamar's Donuts? But it's a story and it's. And then I looked again just to make sure. And it's on their website too. And it says almost the exact same thing. North Phoenix residents looking for freshly fried doughnuts need a new home. Now Lamar's Donuts on bell Road and I17 is temporarily closed.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about it. You didn't see nothing.

[Brett]

A banner on the building indicates the new name Heroes Donuts. And then, and then the story before it.

[Brady]

The home hasn't changed.

[Brett]

No, it's just a name. The story before it was that dude that crucified that pastor up in New river or wherever it was. I don't remember very Serious news story about a local murder. And then the girl, Brianna Whitney, by the way, did a great job, sat and interviewed this dude, and he said he did it for Jesus. He wants to get executed. He did it, you know, because the Bible says to take all the evil out of Israel. It's a very heavy story. He's like, and I did exactly what God did, because this guy's leading the flock astray. And you're supposed to get rid of those. That's Old Testament stuff. And that's the way this works. And I'm proud of my work. God will forgive me. That's how this is. And she goes, how would you feel if I executed you? And he goes, good luck trying. And then we're like, ooh, that was a good story. And then the next one was. Lamar's Donuts has closed. It is now called Heroes Donuts. We'll be right back. It's definitely the green light to a guy with a suppressor on the end of a weapon, that's for sure. Here we are getting in trouble for, you know, just making jokes someone didn't like. I'm not calling off for hits like Channel three is when the pastor broke.

[Brady]

The Lamar donut in two, not share it with the congregation.

[Brett]

Brianna did that. She gave it to the murderer, and she said, will you break this in half? Look at the screen and say, the eagle flies at 2, 215. I'll do that. Sure. It's for God. I'll do that. It's crazy. So I think I witnessed a. I think I witnessed Jared Dillingham and Nicole Kreitz called out a hit yesterday. Who cares that Lamar's. I've never heard of Lamar's Donuts, so it's not like a Phoenix institution.

[John Holmberg]

The cops have. I just got a message.

[Brett]

Oh, they know Lamar's.

[John Holmberg]

Lamar's is actually really good. I should know.

[Brett]

He's a cop, so. Yes, but that's kind of like saying to Brady, hey, they're changing the name of a barbecue. That place is great. Well, of course you think so, but it's not like just because you like it. It's an institution. I've never heard of it, and I've lived here since I was 10, so.

[Brady]

I'm not so sure if. If it was great, you'd know it would stay Lamar's Donut.

[Brett]

That's exactly right. Unless. Was it a hit on Lamar? I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Don't ask.

[Brett]

I understand that Lamar makes all his donuts by hand, and because it's Lamar, the Hole in the middle is a lot bigger. You know what I don't want to. Donut. Named after a black guy.

[Brady]

He might have returned.

[Brett]

They're making those holes, but these are kind of thin. These kind of look like hula hoops. Welcome to Lamar's Donuts, where everything is done by bodily function. May I help you? Jesus Christ. Yeah, okay, I'll have. I'll have that stringy one over in the corner. What happened there? I blew the middle out.

[John Holmberg]

Of course you did.

[Brett]

All right, that's called the Big Mike. And also, by the way, take a.

[Brady]

Dozen of these nuts. Donut holes.

[Brett]

Brad, I hope you don't mind, but I'm looking at you right now and your new nickname is Button Dick. And Brett, you're just average man. And I am a God. A God. Science says so. It's a study by scientists to determine how a lady can look at a man and tell exactly how well he's hungry by a body. You know, they've always said big hands, big feet, which turned into big gloves, big shoes, it doesn't matter at all. Big ears was a thing not universal. What has become a 92% fact is that if you have a big nose, you probably have a big wang. That is a study from science. One visible body part can reveal the size of your willy. Proven. Although there's a Japanese study. So what? Well, that's. Shut up, Brad. Shut up. No, you laugh either. Button Dick.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna be calling tong today to.

[Brett]

Make sure that's right. It's fair to say it doesn't really matter to ladies. According to this article, so long as you have that can do spirit, Button Dick, you'll still be okay.

[Brady]

Oh, good.

[Brett]

There's something something. Check out homework's morning sickness pod.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Brett]

Holmberg's morning sickness. I don't have to work half as hard as you do, Button Dick, because obviously by my face I have a big one. According to science, the diary of was a good diary of a CEO podcast went on. It was a urologist part of the revealed the study. It said keep your eyes on one part of a man's body. If you want to know exactly what's going on down there, the study is a Japanese study where they looked at only Japanese men. Shut up, Brad. There's some limitations to it. It doesn't necessarily go into everybody's history, but essentially they measured all the body parts and found that universally a man with large nose length was correlated with a penile length, not your hand and feet. 400 men from China between 20 and 56 studied that the centimeters of your big old chopper was closely related to your nose. Then ear like that's a testicle size was also involved in this as well. And that is. Come on, you can't deny me that swing. Big, big nose. I gotta set on me. It's not. The balls are so big, but there's a lot in them. There's a. I've. I have an unpacked bag down there.

[Brady]

Package.

[Brett]

Look, I've got. There's no reason. I basically took a full suitcase for a weekend. There's no. It's got a couple of shirts in there. Nothing big. Malik added that the. While we've seen sperm quality change over the last 50 years, we've also seen penis length changes and seen that penile length is increasing. Not for you, button dick. Or you over there, you greasy Italian. They think it's because of the onset of puberty is changing and boys are getting exposed to factors that are making them go through puberty faster. They're getting more exposure to testosterone and developing longer wieners. For true. Then me and my Pinocchio face should be highly, highly under demand.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Gene Simmons didn't sponsor this.

[Brett]

He's got a big one, too. Why would Gene Simmons sponsor such a thing? Because of his nose.

[John Holmberg]

His other buddy from the squares and.

[Brett]

What are you talking about? Making Jew jokes right now? Is it because you're envious?

[John Holmberg]

I didn't say that.

[Brett]

Is it because your people fought us, fought with the Germans? Is that exactly. Yes. You people over there with your small penises, your average noses. You've seen my nose. Let me talk to my friend, Benjamin Netanyahu. Benny, come in here. Thanks, Gene. Yes, you understand also, Bradford, but your nose tells a story. And your story is. I have a child's dick, John. However, that would be a national park. So, Redwood, let's be honest. What's going on with his giant nose?

[John Holmberg]

What does Dave Draymond think of this?

[Brett]

Let's ask him. Dave, come on in here for a second. Dave, what do you think of this study? Thank you, Benny. I think that maybe the study Yaka kaka and Brady, we're very sorry for you because clearly I appreciate you. You have a vagina with that tiny little button on your face. Ladies. It's irrefutable science. Irrefutable.

[Brady]

Adrian Brody's just smiling.

[Brett]

Adrian Brody has a leg for Adrian Brody. Can. Can do double dutch with his. It's Adrian Brody's got the stern Brody. I mean Carl Malden. Back in the day, if you went to 70s noses. W.C. fields. My God. W.C. fields was packing a brick.

[Brady]

Jimmy Duranty.

[Brett]

Oh my Lord. The history of this thing. Milton Berle had a big nose. Evidently they we found out for sure that was real big noses. That's right. You make your Jew jokes all you want there, Bert. Quite adorable. Meanwhile, we'll wander around with our pockets filled with cash and our pants filled with Craig. Good luck said. Is this why in Pinocchio they only showed the top half of his body? No, you weirdo. They weren't gonna do nudity in Pinocch.

[Brady]

Didn't have time to whittle.

[Brett]

Why would they ever do that? And now Geppetto carves out the huge one. Although Geppetto, we've talked about this. His name has the pedo is right there in his name. Yeah, like pedophile crazy. Andy says fake news. I got a big nose and I'm hung like a five year old. Are you Jewish?

[Brady]

He said the percentage.

[Brett]

No, no. 92%. He's one of the 8% of dudes with huge noses that got gypped. I got a good sized nose. Screw you guys. And you don't want me saying that because I'll rip you in half. I'm packing. Evidently a Japanese study funded by your people Israel Rabbi Holmberg, that has. You're just mad because you've got a tiny nose, Carl. All you little nose people are going to be like the Irish now just angry. You're gonna have little nose complex. Not little man's complex anymore. Tiny little button noses means little tiny dicks. And also it was universal that you have a tiny nose. It's. No, not one. 100%. Not one had a big dick. That was it. Tiny noses equals button peepee.

[Brady]

So we're gonna see a new kind.

[Brett]

Of rhinoplasty surgery to have your nose enlarged. Yeah. So the ladies are interested, but what a disappointment you'll be. And that's true of all. You know facial surgery is when you find out what you really look like. That's. You know these Kardashian kids. It's Gonna be kind of overwhelming. You know who's got the one that really. I looked at pictures of Meghan Markle before her nose surgeon. I think she's beautiful, but she has a huge nose. And she made that kid with Prince Harry. That thing's gonna be all screwed up until she starts carving that original nose off. If that kid picked up her natural like DNA and her stuff passes on to him, he's gonna have.

[Brady]

I don't think I've seen her pre.

[Brett]

It's a big no.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It'S more of more width than.

[Brett]

It's a wider nose than. Yeah, she's got a real narrow nose. But remember her, her grandfather in law was very worried because she was half black that it would come out with black features. Remember that came out in that book that he said, what color will the child be? Will it have the features? That isn't a picture of her, is it there? I haven't seen that one. There's a few of them. You look on the line and Meghan Markle's got a big wide nose. Still pretty, but not like she is now. Not there? No, not there. But that's not fair. That's like a picture of her in like 10th grade.

[John Holmberg]

Christ.

[Brett]

Going through some changes. But that one right there, that's the one I saw. It's big. She's gorgeous now. And I'm all for ladies doing that, but when you start having babies, you got to reveal that. You got to tell your husband or your boyfriend. Even if you're like, you know, if you guys are serious and like, I want to have kids. I want to have children too. How many? I want to have like four. I want to have at least four. We're going to be so happy. I have to let you know, I used to have the nose of a baboo. Oh my God. What? Yeah, this is a nose job. When we make kids, it's going to come out totally crazy. Big nose. That means he's got a big dick though, right? I mean, that's okay.

[John Holmberg]

Better be a boy.

[Brett]

Better be a boy. If it's a girl, I mean, she seeks that. How about that?

[Brady]

Growing up and seeing what Michael Jackson did in the first couple years, Michael.

[Brett]

Jackson had a hammer and then turned it into that sliver. Well, that's the thing I always question. We used to think Michael Jackson was a freak. And now everybody that gets plastic surgery, I think comes out looking like him. I look at all those Real Housewives, the Kardashians, to a certain degree, they've got all Michael's features, those weird big eyes, that tiny slit of a nose. And then they. Michael never did crazy lip stuff. He'd paint his on, like, latoya.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brett]

It's the same thing. But latoya is today's image of. Of, like, beauty. And we used to make fun of it. There's pictures of Michael before the surgery, and that kid had a big hog. Look at that face. That dude had a big hog.

[John Holmberg]

He had a couple of them. Because here's 75 to 79.

[Brett]

Oh, he like the later one. The doctors after the first surgery were like, I can't sew him up. I can't keep. I can't keep cutting. This nose is too big. And then 10 years later, he's like, I want more. Like, oh, all right, we've had enough rest. Let's get back in there.

[John Holmberg]

Then you got this train wreck.

[Brett]

Yeah. And then that thing at the end when he turned into that weird ghoul.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was all right. With off the wall nose.

[Brett]

He's a good looking kid. Yeah, I think he's good before the nose surgery.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here we go. Here's all the years.

[Brett]

No, Michael's nose, too. And then evidently just would fall off every once in a while. It was a. It was a snap on. Anyway, that aside, Brad, you look like you're doing okay. Your nose isn't small. No, you're not. Sorry, Brady. You've got that. I mean, it's embarrassing. I'd wear a mask if I was you. After this study, put some underwear over putty.

[Brady]

I'm gonna put some putty on here.

[Brett]

Grow it. Grow it out. It's true. And then you see those guys, like Dale Hellestray with that gigantic head, and his nose is too small for his face. You know what that means down south? Totally out of proportion. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, I'm telling you, keep it up. I'll keep it up. You keep it up, no one will notice. Button dick. Anyway, sorry about that. But when people go, he's got a little button nose now, you know, unfortunately. And I'm sorry for all you people out there that are running around thinking that that's bad. That is exactly how it is. There's something, something. Check out Hornburg's morning sickness [e-mail]'s Morning Sickness. And then we'll close out this beginning thing with Brett's email this morning. This is great. So what's up, Brett? This comes from Alan. Says, hope all is well on your end. My company's doing some sexual harassment and other company policy yearly training for my job. And I saw this. I busted out laughing because I heard it in your voice, Brett. Others looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn't care. It's hilarious. Keep on killing it. I love you guys. Now, I told you this a couple weeks ago. You have brought this word back into common lexicon. This is, like, back in. And it basically says, what is that thing? Is it an employee?

[John Holmberg]

An employee is constantly rude to female an employee is constantly rude to employee or female employees and tells them that they are dumb broads.

[Brett]

Is this acceptable behavior? Yes, because of you. Yes, it is. This got put on a test. It's like we've got. We've had a rash of guys calling the girl employees dumb broads. We have to let them know that's not okay. I didn't think we'd have to put that back on the test. What a dumb broad. They're saying it a lot of. There's no way. This was on the test a year ago. There's no way we're about to celebrate five years of Brett. This is your contribution.

[John Holmberg]

We're trend setting over here.

[Brett]

We aren't trend setting. If you're trend setting that way, it's going to cost me money. So I'm saying we are not trend setting. You are trend setting, and you are doing it with the word broad like it's 1954.

[John Holmberg]

I want to know if he answered.

[Brett]

True or false on this one. They had such a dilemma in the office that that was a 50, 50 question. And they're like, let's include it and see if. And there's one guy that's like, what's wrong with that? What if she's acting like a dumb braw? You're not allowed to say that anymore. What world do we live in?

[Brady]

Yeah, what'd you put down for the answer, man?

[Brett]

And the better part is in the question. It says, an employee is constantly rude to female employees and tells them that they are dumb broad. This was not a problem before he showed up. We had eliminated what?

[John Holmberg]

You are trend setting over here.

[Brett]

Hey. Oh.

[Brady]

Then what is acceptable?

[Brett]

Honey, honey, honey, honey. What are you doing over here? What are you. What are you doing? What's wrong? I don't understand. Vito, you're acting like a dumb broad. I know. Like, I mean, what is this? Hey, guys, come over here. Take a look at this dumb broad. What a dumb broad. Where did you guys get this? What, did you watch guys and dolls last night? This dumb broad doesn't know what she's doing.

[John Holmberg]

Look, toots, you don't know what you're doing.

[Brett]

All right, everyone gather around. We gotta talk to the guys. I don't. Where did you guys hear this? It's like when little kids say the F word. You know what, Mom? I just don't know. Oh, where did you hear that? Brat? In an office place, like. All right, who's. Why did you guys say broad so much? I don't know. There's a guy in a radio says it. It seems funny. Well, it's not funny. Alicia is crying now. She's an emotional abroad. No, it's the word broad. It's not.

[Brady]

Drop that.

[Brett]

It's not the adjective before broad, you idiots. Listen, it is dumb broad. Trying to tell me how to talk now like she's my mother. My mother was not a dumb broad. She was. God damn it. Take it back. That's you, Brett. You did that.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. We're trend setting over here.

[Brett]

That should not be in the sexual harassment quiz. It's too easy of a question.

[John Holmberg]

It's question three. It's like, right up front, too.

[Brett]

That's a three of 15. Number three. We're done saying this, right? No, false. Kind of dumb broad. Question is three. Hey, Tony, look at number three. What'd you put for three? This is confusing me.

[Brady]

I think we're supposed to say false to that.

[Brett]

It just seems so unnatural. Why would I say false to that? Then that makes me, like. Like I'm a dumb broad.

[Brady]

Obvious. Who created this test?

[Brett]

Anthony, Tony. Big T. Stop. Stop talking and finish your test. Dumb broad. Number three.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Vinny.

[Brett]

False. It just feels like I'm going against my nature here. That's your fault. I'm convinced Brett's got one thing he's done in this show that is guaranteed his fault. That's it. That's it. The use of the word broad. I never said it. It never really come. It doesn't come out of my mouth. But I have to do it in an accent to make it. He's dumb. I can't just say, well, that's a dumb broad. Like, I've got too much diction and eloquence and plus, my dick is so huge because of my nose. I. Sorry. Don't want to offend the dumb broads.

[Brady]

And I thought he kind of picks it up from movies and stuff like that.

[Brett]

No, no. Talk to his dad. You talk to his dad. You'll hear it. These broads over here, but they're just hogging up all the. I was at it. I was at your house for that. I don't know when that was. Was that your birthday? Yeah, I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Everybody's hanging around. Your dad walks through and there was like nine girls in the kitchen standing around the proschute or whatever the hell you guys made the lasagna. I don't know what. I don't know how you guys say it's lasagna to all of us. They. They take away vowels for no reason. I got the lasagna. And your dad goes get his gaggle of broads hanging around. Like, what they're allowed to eat. He was mad that there were too many in them. They were congregating.

[John Holmberg]

Then he holds court outside, too.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. I had to fight my way through about nine broads to get one meatball and some prosciutto. Boy, there are a lot of button nose dudes emailing right now. So by your logic, then I know immediately that dude's got a tiny nose. Sarah Jessica Parker has her horse face, so she's also hung like one Reuben. It's just for men. Blow your little nose because nobody's gonna blow anything on your body but you, starting now. Does Big Mike have a big nose? She does, yeah. And you can pretty much count on. I can tell you that this study is accurate. Who are you talking to, Rod?

[John Holmberg]

Omar says, my wife asked me where I got broad from. Told her forget about it.

[Brett]

It's you. People are asking at home. Why do you say that all of the sudden? You're like Clara Peller. You've got a catchphrase, and it's just one word, broad. To be used generously, liberally. Does a large nose on a woman mean a big muff? I don't know. They didn't do that study. Yuck. Who would do that study? And who volunteers pixelated?

[John Holmberg]

We don't know.

[Brett]

Hey, honker, come here for a second. What do you need? Let me see your muff. I want to see this. I think that's question four on the sexual harassment thing. You got a big nose. And I'm doing a little personal study. I want to see if a big nose on a woman means a, you know, a gaping hole. You know what I'm saying? So drop trowel.

[Brady]

Anyway, the Greeks are just smiling.

[Brett]

Study. Oh, it's correct. Great big noses. My God. Anyway, so cheers to all you dudes out there have been living with these giant noses all your life. Like me walking around.

[Brady]

At least you got that going for you.

[Brett]

What. What is. What are you saying. Are you saying that I should be disappointed about other things?

[Brady]

You know, hammered about the nose?

[Brett]

Oh, the nose has been a horrible thing. But I didn't realize it was universal. I mean, I knew all the rest of it. I don't like to brag, but this is a good question. Actually, Jeff, I like your question. It says, would it be acceptable if you balanced out the good women by praising them for being intelligent broads?

[John Holmberg]

I think so.

[Brett]

That's a smart broad right there. How does she get mad at that? I am not abroad. Oh, uppity broad too. That's what you get when you get them book learning broads.

[Brady]

Yeah, Brett, this summer's gonna travel abroad.

[Brett]

Guy says the question tells the story. If the employee is constantly rude, what are these broads doing to warrant that? Why these broads pissing off all the boy employees dying. You did that. And I know you did it because the dude's taken the test. And he took his phone out and took a picture of his computer screen and sent it to Brett. Thought of you. Thought of you. When I read this one, broads and.

[Brady]

Brett goes to the next level, toots.

[Brett]

Is like, toots, broads. Toots doesn't offend me at all because it was lady Elaine Fairchild's favorite word on Mr. Rogers. Boomerang. Boomerang. Toomerang. What's up, toots? She'd say it all the time. And I always used to laugh as a kid because if you said toots like her, it didn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

I say it like Sinatra.

[Brett]

I wave my magic boomerang. Hey, toots. I'm like, oh, that's great. Yeah. Sinatra is why you do it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Brett]

Got a problem with all these broads over here? Come here, toots. Guys in broads, he would say to the broads, I love it. So, yeah, that's on it. And that question is so easy to answer for anyone but Brett and his followers. And it's cult like weirdos. But I. I fall into it too, because I say, I don't say it as me. I find it hysterical that it is said. You say it for real?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

These broads downstairs are driving me nuts. And I'm like, I can't help but think you're joking, but you're not. That is a question that shouldn't be on any test. Nobody in 2025 should struggle with that one. Now would we call people dumb broads in the office? I'm like, no, Dumb. Anything in the office is dumb.

[Brady]

I don't see what's wrong with that.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If it looks like a broad talks.

[Brett]

Like abroad, then it's abroad. Yeah. Next thing you know, Brett, we're gonna be wandering around the office and they're gonna have signs up that say, quit calling home a good Jew. What's the fun in this place? The magic is gone. That's what you get when you start working with broads. And God forbid you turn one of them into management because you know what happens next? Dude, this. They start floating around in their broomsticks. Anyway, back to work, you crazy mixed up broad. I think it's great. So anyway, great job, Brett. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one. 585-9800 and we'll scream it together. It's 98K. If you can hear me. I'm sorry, I've got. I'll lift my giant nose. Either way, the microphone might be muffling the sound or is that my huge dork? Thanks, Japan. It's 98KV. Wake up Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98.

[Dick Toledo]

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