06-26-25 - Joey Avery - Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Title: Joey Avery - Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio
Release Date: June 26, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Guests: Joey Avery, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Introduction and Guest Appearance

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg welcoming listeners to “Holmberg's Morning Sickness” on 98 KUPD, Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show. The primary guest for the day is Joey Avery, a comedian who’s actively performing at Desert Ridge Improv for the upcoming weekend.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [00:41]: “Joey Avery's here and he's being all handsome with Brad. It's creepy Desert Ridge Improv this morning.”

Personal Life and Relationships

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around Joey Avery’s personal life, particularly his long-term marriage. Joey shares anecdotes about his relationship, highlighting how his wife managed to win his heart despite his initial reluctance to settle down.

Notable Quotes:

• Joey Avery [13:41]: “Two and a half years.”
• John Holmberg [14:18]: “She's giving you carrots. Everything seems okay.”
• Joey Avery [15:07]: “I know what you're saying. Yeah.”

Joey humorously reflects on past relationships and the complexities of maintaining a marriage, especially when previous relationships were influenced by unconventional circumstances, such as ex-partners with affluent backgrounds.

Comedy Career and Future Plans

Joey delves into his career as a comedian, discussing his aspirations to elevate his performances, increase ticket sales, and produce more content. He mentions completing his first comedy special, expressing excitement about scaling his success.

Notable Quotes:

• Joey Avery [15:42]: “I like what I'm doing now. I think I just like to do it all at a higher level.”
• John Holmberg [16:02]: “And you had no idea she had trapped me. And she wasn't even a billionaire.”

He also touches upon the challenges of balancing his professional life with personal commitments, such as guest appearances and live shows, emphasizing his dedication to both.

Humorous Anecdotes and Banter

The conversation is peppered with lighthearted banter and humorous exchanges among the hosts and Joey. Topics range from amusing incidents at bars to playful jabs about personal quirks.

Notable Quotes:

• Joey Avery [02:07]: “Yeah, I'm being all handsome with Brad. It's creepy.”
• John Holmberg [02:16]: “Maybe he's not a Big Kevin. Maybe Kevin Costner banged.”

Political Commentary and Humor

Towards the latter part of the episode, the discussion shifts to current political events, specifically referencing President Trump’s actions related to Iran. Joey offers a comedic take on the situation, blending satire with observational humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Joey Avery [18:07]: “I'm literally wearing a shirt with Barry Bonds smoking a suit, like, y' all hear about Iran?”
• John Holmberg [19:01]: “I love being an American.”
• Joey Avery [20:09]: “That was the best thing.”

Joey humorously critiques the administration's handling of international affairs, using exaggerated scenarios to highlight the absurdities he perceives in political maneuvers.

Closing Remarks and Final Banter

As the episode nears its end, the hosts and Joey engage in final light-hearted exchanges, touching upon upcoming shows and mutual support for each other’s endeavors.

Notable Quotes:

• Joey Avery [23:35]: “Yeah. 98.”
• John Holmberg [24:13]: “Little clumsy compared to my alley Oop, but not bad. Well done.”

Joey leaves listeners with a heartfelt message, encouraging them to attend his performances at Desert Ridge Improv, reinforcing the camaraderie between him and the show’s hosts.

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Key Insights and Conclusions

• Balancing Personal and Professional Life: Joey Avery exemplifies the challenges and successes of maintaining a long-term relationship while pursuing a demanding career in comedy.

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: Throughout the episode, humor serves as a tool for navigating personal anecdotes and broader societal issues, showcasing the therapeutic role of comedy.

• Political Satire: The episode highlights how comedians like Joey incorporate current events into their routines, offering both critique and entertainment through satire.

• Community and Support: The interactions between Joey and the hosts underscore the importance of community and mutual support in the entertainment industry.

Overall Flow and Utility

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" offers listeners an engaging blend of personal storytelling, career insights, and political humor. Joey Avery’s candid discussions, coupled with the hosts’ playful banter, create a relatable and entertaining narrative that resonates with both regular listeners and newcomers. By weaving together humor with genuine discourse, the episode provides a comprehensive look into the life of a comedian navigating personal relationships and societal commentary.

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For more engaging content, tune into Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] look at that. Joey Avery's here and he's being all handsome with Brad. It's creepy Desert Ridge Improv this morning. Joey's here. He's going to be at Desert Ridge Improv tonight, tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday.

[Joey Avery]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome, sir. Sorry we're running late.

[Joey Avery]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Jump right in and make sure we get your time because we were running behind a little bit doing stupid stuff. But. Yeah, you're out here and we were just talking about your hat. You just had a guy randomly approach you at a bar because you wear cool hats.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You get approached by dudes at bars a lot. Because Brad makes me feel like you might.

[Brady]

I'm gonna say yes. Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

You know, from time to time. Yeah. I think my. My dude quotient is. Is going pretty well. Right. Because a hat. A hat. A guy could come up to you and. And just admire the team and be excited. Or in this case, he was just drunk and staring right through my soul.

[John Holmberg]

And wanted to beat you up for the hat you have on, which is a Durham Bulls hat.

[Joey Avery]

A minor league baseball. I don't think he knew what it was. I think he just probably had a lot of. He probably had other issues that he hasn't worked through.

[John Holmberg]

Just a supporter of. Well, the defensive Bulls is his main priority.

[Joey Avery]

That might be it.

[Brady]

Maybe you were disrespectful, played for the rival or something. He had a son that.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, who's the rival at the Durham Bulls? Taking it that seriously.

[Joey Avery]

If we're trying to follow the logic of a guy who was this drunk, I.

[John Holmberg]

That's always fun, though.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Drunk logic is always fun.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because he didn't make it to the pros, so he kept his loyalties in Durham versus whomever they. Yeah, The Tennessee Hilltop.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. Maybe he hated the movie.

[John Holmberg]

That could. Maybe he's not a Big Kevin. Maybe Kevin Costner banged.

[Joey Avery]

Probably a Kevin Costner.

[John Holmberg]

There it is.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Costner nailed his wife. Yeah. And you come strolling in there, just rubbing it. Big supporter. You imagine 35 years later, you son of a bitch.

[Joey Avery]

If Costner bangs your wife, you probably wear that as a badge of honor.

[John Holmberg]

I would, too.

[Joey Avery]

You're probably like, that's actually my fun fact.

[John Holmberg]

If it seemed close, I would encourage my wife to do it 100% just for the story.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah, yeah. Tin cup. That is.

[John Holmberg]

That is is water world, man. Yeah, that's. Yeah, we got something there.

[Joey Avery]

Might hit her with a seven iron.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you got some good stories there. Have you ever had a girl cheat on you with somebody better than you?

[Joey Avery]

Well, that'd be hard. Did you see what I just did for you? Did you see that? That was a nice laugh.

[John Holmberg]

We're on the road together. That was an alley. Oop. No, it's weird because I, like, I, I. I was divorced years ago, and clearly she won the divorce.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because she ended up marrying a guy who worked for Goldman Sachs. And then all the pictures on Instagram and stuff are them in, like, Africa. And then. And then I saw in the newspaper where they live that they bought a house and it made the newspaper.

[Joey Avery]

Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

And I did fine.

[Joey Avery]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But there's a winner and a loser in those. Well.

[Brady]

And that while it looked like you were winning.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought I was killing it. And then. And then they're like, oh, these people bought this, that famous house here in Austin, Texas. And they're like, it was in the paper. If you buy a house in the, in the city, pays attention to it.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. No, you got to pivot at that point and just be like, they're unhappy. Like, for different reasons. Being like, he didn't follow his dream. He's probably got, like, a weird dark side. Like, they're unhappy for those reasons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You're hoping it was a murder house or something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That's why.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I hope it becomes one. Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

My one. My one ex is, like, a billionaire.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, really?

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. Like, yeah, it's. I mean, but it was like, we were high school. Like, I haven't, you know, I don't have a ton of serious exes, but, yeah, she's always on yachts and stuff.

[Brady]

And I'm just like, yeah, but Lauren Sanchez.

[John Holmberg]

Empty.

[Joey Avery]

She's empty. Yeah. Yeah, it's Lauren. How was she getting Married in Venice this weekend.

[John Holmberg]

How is she a billionaire?

[Joey Avery]

Her dad.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, of course she's not a billionaire.

[Joey Avery]

Make a guess.

[John Holmberg]

No, I knew that part. I was wondering.

[Joey Avery]

I knew.

[John Holmberg]

You said a woman. Right, of course. I just want another trace of the trail back to the guy.

[Joey Avery]

No, dad. Her dad rules.

[John Holmberg]

And he's a good guy.

[Joey Avery]

Great guy.

[John Holmberg]

And you guys were together?

[Joey Avery]

Followed me on Instagram yesterday. Really? Yeah. I think I might be back in the will.

[John Holmberg]

He misses you.

[Joey Avery]

He does.

[John Holmberg]

Which means he hates the new guy.

[Joey Avery]

100.

[John Holmberg]

Well, this is.

[Joey Avery]

You have to.

[John Holmberg]

Dude.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. Dude.

[Brady]

So this is relatively fresh. Or is it.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Joey Avery]

From high school. But I don't. I don't forget.

[John Holmberg]

I don't either. Isn't it great?

[Joey Avery]

Is it.

[John Holmberg]

Did you go. Where do you. Where did you grow up?

[Joey Avery]

I grew up in the Bay Area.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so it's a big city, but there's a small area that you grew up in. And now that you've got some notoriety and stuff, do you go back there and find the girl that wouldn't and make her yours?

[Joey Avery]

Well, I can't, cuz I'm married.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care.

[Joey Avery]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Follow. Follow what I say.

[Joey Avery]

I know what you're saying. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is there anybody there that you're like.

[Joey Avery]

Ooh, oh, there's piles of them. Anyone who's ever rejected or wronged me, I want to occupy a level of real estate in their head.

[John Holmberg]

That's beautiful.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Love that.

[Joey Avery]

Isn't that good?

[John Holmberg]

That almost made me cry. I'm not gonna lie. That was. You should work for Hallmark. Yeah, that was gorgeous, Joey. That's nice.

[Brady]

Make a good card.

[John Holmberg]

That would. Yeah. I'm going to occupy space in your head. Son of a. Joey, Avery's at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend. So you are married?

[Joey Avery]

I am.

[John Holmberg]

And does she care that you care that the billionaire dad is following you again? Because that's a tough one for your current wife to realize that.

[Joey Avery]

I didn't bring that up.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Probably. You were so cavalier about it.

[Joey Avery]

I mean. Yeah, it's a local, right? I mean, I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, we're pretty big in Djibouti. That's the truth. That is actually true. We have a following in Djibouti.

[Joey Avery]

No, because I, you know, I keep, like, any. Any girl who I've ever been with. The dad always kind of likes me forever. Like, I can just get along with the boys.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Joey Avery]

And she knows that.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. If the billionaire dad talked you into dating his daughter again, would you leave your current situation?

[Joey Avery]

No, no. No, because happiness is, is more important.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it.

[Joey Avery]

You said you were well distributed, but.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, man, it's crazy. Billionaires. You can find some happiness.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. It is funny though, when you're, when you're just like at some point, I imagine you're just sitting on, on a yacht for the 90th day that you did nothing to earn in your own life and you're just made of 90% champagne and you're like, maybe this wasn't now. Now I have to get into some new weird like fetish or something like what's next?

[John Holmberg]

Right. You know, it'd be fun to find out. It would be fun to find out what's better than this.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's up to you.

[Joey Avery]

That is true. When you just like work and live a normal life, you never really get to find out what's truly wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Meanwhile, you're going to spend your 33rd weekend in a row in a Day's Inn hanging out with the likes of Brad and club owners.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah, that is true.

[John Holmberg]

Could have been on a yacht.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. When you look at Brad, it, yeah. Really recontextualizes what Monaco is probably like.

[John Holmberg]

Every day or whenever you want. Yeah, that's the best.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What were we talking about a few days ago for a billion dollars and there was some sort of.

[Brady]

Yeah. Would you're. And you'd say, would you. Would your wife be okay with this?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if you did something for me. But a billion dollars? Do you have a price for like any sort of weird activity?

[Joey Avery]

A price for. We all have. Everybody's got a price for every sort of weird activity.

[John Holmberg]

Right. You'd bail out for a billion.

[Brady]

Right?

[Joey Avery]

I don't know. I mean, what is your price?

[Brady]

600 pound sister.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. 600 pound sister. You know who those girls are?

[Joey Avery]

I don't know him specifically, but I think I have a pretty good idea.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, it's right there in the top.

[Joey Avery]

They lift them in a crane. Right.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they lift him in another house through a wall.

[Joey Avery]

Right. It's like Harry Potter.

[John Holmberg]

But would you. Because I remember now. Yeah. Would you do that? And everybody's like, I'm not so sure.

[Joey Avery]

For a billion dollars to marry or make Lovely.

[John Holmberg]

Please. Or.

[Joey Avery]

Okay, so you're, you're digging through the folds.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All you'd hear coming out of that house is from me.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. Are you kidding me? Billion or million?

[John Holmberg]

Billion. For a million. I do it. Okay.

[Joey Avery]

I'm going to say yeah. A billion is, is a laugh.

[John Holmberg]

These guys were like, I'm not sure.

[Joey Avery]

For a billion you wouldn't eat. You wouldn't eat a sloppy box for a million dollars.

[John Holmberg]

Joey Avery. Very classy. Absolutely. The. The right way to answer that.

[Joey Avery]

Come on, you can help out. Like, you know.

[Brady]

You know, I would try, but they would say, oh, you didn't do it.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Yeah. Because you're just looking something.

[Joey Avery]

Well, obviously, it doesn't have to be. Nothing can please them. They're insatiable. So they got to be £600.

[Brady]

He's like, he said, finish off.

[John Holmberg]

No, you got to finish her off. Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

Oh, dear.

[John Holmberg]

I need to put plastic.

[Joey Avery]

It's gonna be a problem.

[John Holmberg]

I'll do it.

[Joey Avery]

But in fairness, no one's probably found.

[John Holmberg]

But what would be worse? Magic button.

[Joey Avery]

The magic button. I was gonna say. I don't think I can say that word.

[John Holmberg]

The second you hit it, she's gonna be like, what's that? She's never found.

[Brady]

You're down there for a half hour, and you. And you failed. So it was just a waste of time.

[John Holmberg]

You stop.

[Joey Avery]

Are you. Keep going.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a second. You quit after 30. Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

That's a million dollars an hour. Eats some Popeyes. Let her keep eating.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't mean to be rude, but look at Brady. He'll eat anything. He's pulling up at 30 minutes.

[Joey Avery]

Here. No, just fight for it, dude.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Land the plane.

[Brady]

Think about, like, I don't have problems, you know.

[Joey Avery]

Well, well.

[Brady]

Going through the fold.

[John Holmberg]

I'm discovering this right now.

[Brady]

This is now that fat apron up.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. You got to get in there.

[John Holmberg]

It's now the John and Joey show, and unfortunately, we have run out of time for you, Brady. You're gonna have to go. Yeah. I don't understand when people do that, because I think that is a very true statement that. That you would do a lot more than you think you would for.

[Joey Avery]

For the right amount of money.

[John Holmberg]

Extreme amount of money.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't believe anybody that's, like, about love. And I'm like, no, shut up.

[Joey Avery]

No, but there is. There is. It's a balancing game. But. Yeah. I mean, if you get the right amount of money, you know, you could.

[John Holmberg]

I'd do it.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know where I draw that line.

[Joey Avery]

I don't either.

[John Holmberg]

Ass play.

[Joey Avery]

Well, what kind?

[John Holmberg]

You know.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, I do.

[John Holmberg]

You're familiar with it. Everybody's been. That's not so bad. Yeah. And. Yeah. So you're. Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

Knuckle. Makes you wonder about the full. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I was actually talking about her, but let's get into this joke.

[Joey Avery]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

The 600 pound sister. If you.

[Joey Avery]

Oh yeah. Well, I mean because you might unleash the Kraken.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Joey Avery]

Oh, and that you don't want to do.

[John Holmberg]

I'd bathe in it for a billion dollars. I'd be into this scat play. All of it. Don't care. 600 pound sister unleashing on me like. Yep.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. See anything that, like there's. There are very few things that take a few hours that I wouldn't do for a billion dollars. It's more about like the rest of your life stuff that gets squirrely. But it's like a weird, a weird hour with my 600 pound girl. Just. I'm getting wet and wild. Give me a poncho. Let's go to the zoo.

[John Holmberg]

We're going. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I've always said this in its growth.

[Brady]

Put the machete. I'm going through there cutting through the.

[John Holmberg]

Put some plastic down. Don't wreck any matches. Make it nice for the next guy and so just get out of there.

[Joey Avery]

The next guy.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's probably somebody else going to use that.

[Brady]

Billionaire.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The next America's next billionaire. Ira Banks. Is there judging a new way to create wealth.

[Joey Avery]

It's like the reverse Bonnie Blue.

[John Holmberg]

There's something something. Check out Homberg's Morning Sickness [e-mail] It's.

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[John Holmberg]

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[Joey Avery]

Two and a half years.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you were together for a while?

[Joey Avery]

Yeah, like 13 years.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Joey Avery]

We met in college. Oh, all right. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This is a long time coming. Did you put the heat on you?

[Joey Avery]

No, she didn't. She, she, she slow played it. She, she did a brilliant thing and she knew when we met in college that I was kind of like, I was like, hey, you know, I really like you, but I want to be, you know, I still want to be single and free or whatever. And so she just played it really cool. Yeah, she just bottled up the crazy and played it really cool. And she'll tell you. She's like, I told myself, she's like, play it cool. Don't be a. Don't be a weirdo. Yeah, you'll scare them off.

[John Holmberg]

And like. Yeah, like you're a racehorse.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah, exactly. She did a really.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's giving you carrots. Everything seems okay.

[Joey Avery]

And then it was like, yeah, forever. I, like, wanted to be single, but I didn't want to lose this person who I really like for my life. And now we're 13, 14 years in. It actually works.

[John Holmberg]

And you had no idea she had.

[Joey Avery]

Trapped you I had no idea she had trapped me. And she wasn't even a billionaire.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know how that happened. Did you know the girl in high school was a billionaire when you were.

[Joey Avery]

Like, I don't know if it's Bill. It's, it's several hundred, whatever it is. But, yeah, we all knew they were like the. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The family.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

Is the wife an earner at all?

[Joey Avery]

She is. She is. She makes her own.

[John Holmberg]

Is she a comedian?

[Joey Avery]

No. Thank God. Could you imagine?

[John Holmberg]

No, I can't. I see people do it and I'm like, I don't know why you're doing this.

[Brady]

There's only one that I know well.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Tom. And, and, but, yeah, there's plenty that date each other. I'm like, I don't know how you get away with this.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah, it's wild when I see it and it works. I'm like, I'm happy for you, but I, I, yeah, I need to be the only one doing this.

[John Holmberg]

You can't have somebody competing or. What if they hacked some of your stuff that was mine.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah, that and also, it's like, I don't want both of us to be in the same head space all the time. I want comedy to be this cool thing that I go do and then I come home or I hang out with my friends who aren't comedians and it's this exotic world to them, and we're not just sitting around complaining about like social media algorithms or whatever. Like, happens in green rooms now, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Yeah. And it's, it's going well.

[Joey Avery]

It's going well.

[John Holmberg]

The end game is what, what do you want to, what do you want to have happen to the Joey Avery experience?

[Joey Avery]

I mean, I like what I'm doing now. I think I just like to do it all at a higher level. I'd like to sell more tickets, do more shows, put out more stuff. I just filmed my first special, which is exciting. And, yeah, you know, just start selling out club weekends if that stop doing morning radio. Well, I always come see you guys.

[Brady]

There we go. He's on his way.

[Joey Avery]

I need to check in on, on my 600 pound sisters.

[John Holmberg]

You need to come back in here. Just cover going, guys, I did it. Yeah, I don't, I, I. What I want is great success for people. And the first sign of that is that conversation we just had, which is, oh, I'll always come see you, and then. And then live at the Footprint center downtown. You're in the arena.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And for some reason Joey didn't show up that weekend. Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

You go, can we. Morning radio at night, Right?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. And that's what I want. Because.

[Joey Avery]

No, I cancel. I had tickets to a Broadway show last night that I canceled to fly here, to get here, to see.

[John Holmberg]

They made you do that?

[Joey Avery]

They did. It's in the contract.

[John Holmberg]

You did not do that because you wanted to. You were forced to do that or they were going to take my.

[Joey Avery]

I will say this is my favorite morning. That's nice that I'm not lying.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I appreciate that. But still, the bottom line is, eventually, you're going to not wake up for this. And that will be the greatest gift you can give.

[Joey Avery]

I'll send you a text.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, text.

[Joey Avery]

I can't be like, dude, I'm in town. And then, you know what? I'll invite you to the show. And you know what you'll say? I can't make it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can't go. I'm busy that night. Adam. Ray, text me to the. I'm in town on Friday. I can't wait to. Hey, bro, I'm gonna be there. I'll see you on Friday. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, awesome. And then Thursday. Oh, plane got canceled, bro. Not gonna get there till three. I'm like, I knew it. I know that it's gonna happen. And Joe Coy, all these guys. Yeah. The best part is. And now we're running late in the. This is our 25th year, so I don't know if we're gonna be there for all these. When we see you on your way back down. Yes. And that's my. That's been my gift. That's been. You got too big. And then. Oh, you're coming back on our show. That's when I know.

[Joey Avery]

It is a mountain circle. It is a mountain, and you go down it.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Yeah. There's another side. And it's fun to watch. Hey, we haven't seen you in years. What's going on? You're playing the clubs again.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. And then they don't want to talk. You go, which wife is this exactly?

[John Holmberg]

You know, Titus. So we get it, all right? He understands. Joey gets it. Yeah. Yeah. So what else is going on in your world?

[Joey Avery]

Well, not much. I mean, I'm in New York, which is fun. Yeah. Tape the special and just kind of traveling around, and it's been great.

[John Holmberg]

Are you concerned that we're in the middle of World War Three? Perhaps. Is it fun?

[Joey Avery]

So that was interesting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that was.

[Joey Avery]

Trump bombed Iran, like, 10 minutes before I had to Go on stage.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Joey Avery]

So I got to let a room full of people in Cleveland learn that news from me, and I'm, like, the weirdest news source. I'm literally wearing, like, breaking news.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

I'm wearing a shirt with Barry Bonds smoking a suit, cigar on it, like, y' all hear about Iran? Or. Sounds like we're going after the nuclear facilities.

[John Holmberg]

Did you. Did you intentionally go up and say I should tell the people?

[Joey Avery]

Well, I. I mean, to. To be ultimately cynical and honest with you, I was like, this might be. You know, there may be a war breaking out, but this is a hell of an opportunity for a topical clip.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

So I went up and I filmed it, and I edited that night and posted the next morning on my Instagram.

[John Holmberg]

You were fully selfish about potentially the end of our interests. Yeah, that's true. I liked it. That's a good way to see that.

[Joey Avery]

You know, and it's just. It was just funny because the way he did it. I mean, he bombed them, and then immediately he's like, now's the time for peace.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

He did the, like, slap him in the face and then run away and be like, it's over now.

[John Holmberg]

It was like, when your dad spanks you and he goes, this hurts me as much as it does you.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There was that moment, like, wait a minute. He was just really. We blew a bunch of stuff up, and now's the time for peace because we're done.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I love being an American.

[Joey Avery]

It's fascinating watching Trump, because I could see. I feel like once he. Once he, like, engages with someone, then he kind of starts liking them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

Like, I feel like now he's being, like, nice to Iran. He's like, they told us about their missiles. They.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he thanked them.

[Joey Avery]

He did, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We want to thank. Let us know.

[Joey Avery]

That was great.

[John Holmberg]

We really appreciate that. And then there's like, oh, I guess that, like, we just winked and nodded at the dude shooting missiles.

[Joey Avery]

Well, and it's funny because I think that's always been a part of military is you. You do these kind of things in the background, which are supposed to. It's supposed to help Iran save face. Like, hey, we need to send some missiles. But we're going to tell you because we don't want to escalate.

[Brady]

There's a sort of call.

[Joey Avery]

Supposed to be a backroom deal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

Trump just tweets it out. He goes, I want to thank them for their weak missiles. I don't know if you're supposed to tweet that.

[John Holmberg]

Did you see him cussing.

[Joey Avery]

That was the best thing.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't that the most.

[Joey Avery]

Fired me up.

[John Holmberg]

I wanted to wave a flag for like a half an hour. I don't know why. I've never. I. Because he walked off to Never heard another president.

[Joey Avery]

They don't know what the. I won't say they're doing.

[John Holmberg]

And then he just left.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It was his TV training.

[Valley Chevy Dealer]

He knew.

[John Holmberg]

He knew that was the monster shot.

[Joey Avery]

It was helpful, too, because I think we've all felt that way where it's. It's another one of these, like, are we 100% sure we need to be involved? Scenarios. And so when he lashed out like that, I felt seen a little bit. Yeah. I was like, I also think they don't know what the f. They're doing is.

[John Holmberg]

It was a wildly fun moment. No matter which side you're on, you have to sit back and go, okay, that might.

[Joey Avery]

Well. And what are the side. I mean, not to dive into, like, Middle east politics right now, but, like, what. What are the. Are we our own side? Is our side just Israel? What are. What are our own interests?

[John Holmberg]

I think it's just Israel. True.

[Joey Avery]

That's what it seems like.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm fine with that.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Iran's been a pain in the ass since I've been alive, so, yeah, it's enough.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah, you're doing the same thing. He did that where you're just being a parent. You're like, they don't know what they're doing.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Turn it down. We've said it for 45 years. Turn it down. And they won't. Yeah, we went up and we turned it up.

[Brady]

Fine.

[John Holmberg]

You do not want me to come up there. That's basically what this was. Don't make me turn the car around. And I. Yeah, I got no problem with it.

[Joey Avery]

Do you ever have that calling the dude?

[Brady]

Dude, they just took my car away.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can't. I can't make it. Dick.

[Joey Avery]

Do you ever had. Did you see the videos of the. The bombers? Like, the B52 bombers?

[John Holmberg]

I saw the plan. Cool.

[Joey Avery]

But then you go, like, when they forgot I paid for that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I forgot.

[Joey Avery]

I did buy that.

[John Holmberg]

I kicked in on that. I actually did some research and looked up how it works.

[Joey Avery]

How does it work?

[John Holmberg]

I still don't know, but there's a load of stuff in there. Like, they hide the engines. They've got, like, cooling things so it doesn't make a heat signature. It's an incredible thing. It's $2 billion per plane.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. Don't crash it. I'm glad they didn't crash.

[John Holmberg]

Don't crash one of those. I will actually get a little bit.

[Joey Avery]

The boys were probably again we can debate policy but the boys were probably fired up to take that out for.

[John Holmberg]

A spin and actually use it actually. And they've been staring at these 30,000 pound bunker busters like what do they really do?

[Joey Avery]

It must have been nice. It's like when I go out for a weekend I have a bag full of merch and then like my hope is that when I go home my bag will be lighter because I'll have sold some merch. I think that's how they felt about those 30 pounds.

[Brady]

How about the 37 hour flight? That's what I. Oh yeah. On the plane we found out all.

[John Holmberg]

This stuff there is.

[Joey Avery]

Do you fridge. Do they have United in flight entertainment. Take a break.

[John Holmberg]

You watch a movie.

[Joey Avery]

You're watching a Kevin Hart film.

[Brady]

Fire up a hot pocket in the microwave.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They still show cruddy movies.

[Joey Avery]

So were were they. Do they have a catheter or like what's the pee scenario?

[John Holmberg]

They do have a bath bathroom.

[Joey Avery]

Oh yeah. In the B52.

[John Holmberg]

In the B52. A little restroom and go in there because it's just the catheter wouldn't be enough. Just 37 hours is guys like Brady need the bathroom. You need the bath a couple of times.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah. You can blow up the drop is.

[Brady]

One of those frozen poops.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You can also insult to injury.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And brings would be about 28.

[Joey Avery]

It went down with the ball.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Joey Avery]

Infiltrated the nuclear facility.

[John Holmberg]

Blow it up and you just hear gross. Like the Iranians.

[Joey Avery]

It smells bad.

[John Holmberg]

Joey Avery's at Desert Ridge improv all weekend long. We thank you for getting up and doing this. Maybe for the last time.

[Joey Avery]

Ah, we'll see.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna be in a theater next.

[Brady]

The special comes out.

[John Holmberg]

Special comes out.

[Joey Avery]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Seeing big things for Joey Avery. Don't screw it up.

[Joey Avery]

I'll always come see you guys. Or at least send you a text when I don't.

[John Holmberg]

No clue. How many times we heard ghost with a ghost emoji clue how many times Always come.

[Joey Avery]

I'll tell you this. I'll always come see you guys as long as our interests align.

[John Holmberg]

And for a billion dollars I'm gonna make you do something weird. It's perfect. Joey. Leave us with words of wisdom. Sir.

[Joey Avery]

Yes. You know, life is confusing and it's hard to know what to do. But the best thing that you can ever do is come on out to the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend, folks. Thursday through Sunday. Joey Avery. I'll be there. Check me out.

[John Holmberg]

Little clumsy compared to my alley Oop, but not bad. Well done. Desertridgeimprov.com Go see Joey this weekend. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[Joey Avery]

98.