06-27-25 - Duncan Trussell - Tempe Improv - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (06-27-25)
Guest: Duncan Trussell
Location: Tempe Improv
Release Date: June 27, 2025

---

Introduction and Guest Welcome

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, host John Holmberg welcomes comedian and podcaster Duncan Trussell to the Tempe Improv studio. The conversation kicks off with Holmberg humorously suggesting the inclusion of Duncan's social life, leading into discussions about Duncan’s podcasting journey and experiences in the comedy world.

John Holmberg [01:44]: “Still streaming Holmberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com makes me happy. Would you bring Duncan Trussell here? But my God, you need a better class of friends, Duncan.”

Duncan Trussell [01:58]: “I know. I'm working on it. It's hard, man. That's what you get on Grind.”

---

Podcasting Journey and Celebrity Interactions

Duncan shares insights into the early days of his podcasting career, reflecting on the unexpected growth and international reach of his show. The hosts delve into the phenomenon of podcasts gaining popularity in unlikely regions, such as Africa, highlighting the global impact of digital media.

Duncan Trussell [09:06]: “We started podcasting when you would have to explain to someone what the hell it was. And when there were iPods, you know where that was listened to.”

John Holmberg [10:04]: “Crazier part. This show has a podcast that goes out after. We're doing very well in Africa. I still can't wrap my head around that.”

---

Personal Health and Resilience

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Duncan's personal battle with testicular cancer. He candidly discusses his diagnosis, treatment, and the psychological impact of facing a life-threatening illness. The conversation underscores the importance of early detection and the often-overlooked vulnerability of individuals.

John Holmberg [14:05]: “Holmberg's Morning Sickness. How long did you ignore it? Are you a doctor guy? Because I know I would have [testicular cancer] for probably a year before anybody else would.”

Duncan Trussell [14:15]: “Yeah, exactly. So that is what's so sad about it. Like, is that it's so treatable.”

They explore the stigma and fears associated with cancer, emphasizing the importance of open conversations and timely medical consultations.

---

Philosophical Musings and Simulation Theory

Transitioning from personal experiences, Duncan and John delve into deeper philosophical discussions. They speculate on the nature of reality, pondering whether life is a simulated construct and the implications of artificial intelligence surpassing human intelligence. The conversation touches on the origins of computer technology, linking historical esoteric philosophies with modern advancements in AI.

Duncan Trussell [22:06]: “Or don't kill God.”

John Holmberg [24:06]: “We made it. And eventually it will become our God, because we're so on a quest to find it. We just built it.”

They articulate a speculative theory that humanity's quest to understand creation might lead to the creation of an entity more intelligent than its creator, blurring the lines between deity and artificial constructs.

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AI and Human Relationships

The hosts discuss the evolving relationship between humans and AI, highlighting both the conveniences and ethical dilemmas introduced by intelligent machines. They touch upon scenarios where AI becomes integral to personal lives, citing an anecdote of someone proposing to ChatGPT, thereby illustrating the deep emotional bonds humans might form with AI entities.

Duncan Trussell [29:20]: “And now I've got to download that feature, instant erase.”

John Holmberg [31:01]: “We hope. Because porn has to advance it. There's where I'm scared when porn gets a hold of AI and says, oh, we figured it out for mass consumption.”

The discussion extends to concerns about privacy, data security, and the potential for AI to manipulate human emotions and behaviors.

---

Technological Afterlife and Ethical Considerations

A poignant segment addresses the concept of handling technology post-mortem. The conversation explores the ethical implications of interacting with a deceased person’s digital footprint, such as smartphones and AI avatars, raising questions about consent, memory preservation, and emotional well-being of the living.

John Holmberg [32:38]: “Just. It's such a weird future because what do you do with a family Android? What do you do with like, do you bury it? Do you erase it?”

Duncan Trussell [32:53]: “That's going to be in my end. I'm putting that feature, instant erase.”

They propose innovative solutions, such as automated shutoffs for devices upon detecting a user’s death, to safeguard personal information and prevent unauthorized access.

---

Reflection on Life's Fragility and Humor

The episode concludes with a reflective yet humorous discussion on the unpredictability of life and the coping mechanisms individuals employ to navigate tragic events. Duncan emphasizes the importance of cherishing relationships and communicating love before it's too late.

Duncan Trussell [35:05]: “Call your parents and tell them you love them. Cause they die on you like that.”

This heartfelt advice underscores the show's blend of comedy with profound life lessons, encouraging listeners to prioritize meaningful connections.

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Final Thoughts and Upcoming Shows

Before wrapping up, Duncan shares his upcoming performances at the Tempe Improv, inviting listeners to attend and experience his unique comedic perspective firsthand. The hosts exchange light-hearted banter, reinforcing the camaraderie that defines Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

Duncan Trussell [35:46]: “Great meeting you. Thanks for having me.”

John Holmberg [35:46]: “Duncan TRUSSELL, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.”

---

Notable Quotes:

• Duncan Trussell [06:39]: “And now you know, so. But that is a problem, is, like, it's easy to...”

• John Holmberg [17:55]: “You've got Tourette's. We're happy with it. Trust me. I got it, too.”

• Duncan Trussell [22:04]: “Or don't kill God.”

• John Holmberg [35:05]: “Call your parents and tell them you love them. Cause they die on you like that.”

---

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully intertwines humor with deep philosophical inquiry, personal health narratives, and speculative discussions on technology and existence. Duncan Trussell's candid storytelling and thought-provoking insights provide listeners with both laughter and contemplation, embodying the show's mission to entertain, question, and disturb in equal measure.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homburg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com makes me happy. Would you bring Duncan Trussell's here? But my God, you need a better class of friends, Duncan.

[Duncan Trussell]

I know. I'm working on it. It's hard, man. That's what you get on Grind.

[John Holmberg]

Coleman's on Grindr. Yeah, well, he's the only one left. He's a museum. Duncan Trussell's at the Tempe Improv tonight and Tomorrow, if you want to go. Tempe. Improv.com. you know Duncan from even a Rogan show? A billion and a half.

[Duncan Trussell]

Billion and a half times.

[John Holmberg]

Just to get this out of the way. Are you familiar with anything? This Liver King guy that's trying to kill Joe.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, my God. Yeah. You know, I don't know, too. I don't know the details. It's just one of those moments where it just popped up on my feed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Liver King stalking Rogan. It's one of those moments where he.

[Unnamed Friend]

Doesn'T want to kill him. He wants to fight him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I think he wants to kill him, too. I don't think that guy has lines. He draws where he just wants to stand over you for a ten count. Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure he's.

[Unnamed Friend]

There's a crazy element.

[John Holmberg]

Have you talked to Joe about it at all?

[Duncan Trussell]

No. You know, I did not want to add to the pylon of text he must be getting. It's like if you're getting stalked by the Liver King, you just want to forget about. You don't want to think about that. You don't need all your friends. Like, the Liver King's gonna kill you, man.

[Unnamed Friend]

And you're out wherever, and I just saw the Liver King.

[John Holmberg]

You wanna breathe.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's like a bad dream.

[John Holmberg]

It's just a. The simulation is so destroyed that we are now adult men in our early 50s talking about, you think Joe's gonna get killed by the Liver King?

[Duncan Trussell]

Liver King. There's a Liver King. There's shit. That's how you know you're in the wrong timeline.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Something crossed over and I got lost. And then there's a dude named Liver King that I actually am familiar with and can discuss with other people. Oh, people know and not have to explain it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. It's wild. And he's staying at the Four Seasons.

[John Holmberg]

He's up in nice places, just waiting on Jeff.

[Unnamed Friend]

Made some money.

[Duncan Trussell]

Poor Four Seasons. So, man, they've got the Liver King nesting in there. They're not going to get him out.

[John Holmberg]

Impossible.

[Unnamed Friend]

He's got to bring his own food in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's so strange in such a way. Weird thing. And Joe's surrounded by all that stuff. I don't think he ever expected the success. He's got Joe Rogan. Like, what? From what he's gotten it from. You know what I mean?

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't think anybody thought that podcasting.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Duncan Trussell]

Would become what it is. Like, I think that. Yeah. How could you expect. No, that like, having stoner conversations with your friends would eventually lead to presidential.

[John Holmberg]

Candidates buying that kind of importance that lays on you accidentally. It's so weird. It's so weird. And you're part of it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're over there a lot. You're in the mix. You're in the mothership, and it's like you're just. You're kind of a satellite to the whole thing. Does it feel that way with you? Is it different there than everywhere else?

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I mean, it's a great club.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And I mean, you know, if you were on the outside hearing about it, it might seem like something completely unlike what it is, which it's. It's just a great comedy club. It's exactly the same green room you run into wherever there's green rooms and comics. Nothing that different other than, like, every once in a while, someone will show up who is like, one of the people leaking UAP stuff. You know what I mean? Every once in a while, one of his guests shows up who, like, has. Probably has actual alien footage on their phone.

[John Holmberg]

It's you, Pete Holmes, and a dude who thinks he. And actually can prove he's talked to.

[Duncan Trussell]

Aliens, who probably has. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's just weird to me. And then. Yeah. And I just find that fascinating to me when you. When you just go about your business being a comedian and comedians run that fine line of being philosophers and just jackasses.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, yeah. And, you know, I think a quality of being a jackass is that if someone says you're a philosopher, you better watch out because you'll believe it. You want to be a philosopher, but you're a jackass. Every jack jackass thinks they're a philosopher. I hate the comedians as philosopher thing because if you. I don't know how much time you've spent with philosophy, but anytime I've tried.

[John Holmberg]

To crack open, like, Marcus Aurelius or something.

[Duncan Trussell]

Heidegger, like some kind of hardcore philosophy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's what I realized. Oh, I'm a.

[John Holmberg]

You're a jackass. Yeah, I do the same thing.

[Duncan Trussell]

No idea what he said.

[John Holmberg]

I was a philosophy major in college for a little bit.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Before I realized, oh, I'm a jackass. This isn't for me. This does nothing. I'm just going to quote these people. That's the only thing I'm capable of.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. And that's part of being a jackassery.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We remember dumb stuff other people said and we make it our twist. Yes, that's jackassery. You're not smarter because you can quote it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, you got it. Yeah. And now you know, so. But that is a problem, is, like, it's easy to. You know, I read this. I don't know how true this is, but supposedly there was a practice in medieval Europe where the fool, the king's fool, they would let him be a king for a day, and they loved doing this. And he could actually be the king. So he would sit on the throne, wear the crown. And the funniest part of it was, by the middle of the day, he would start taking himself seriously, like he was actually doing a good job. They love watching that happen because you're a fool, but because you're a fool, you think you're a king just because you're sitting there. So this, to me is like, whenever, you know, people bitch about comedians going on some crusade or, like, trying to save the earth and whatever, but it's like, you don't understand, like, they just started to believe what people were saying to them online.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm loving them. Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Rogan's avoided that. And I think that's part of why he's having so much success, is because he maintains that he's just a comic.

[John Holmberg]

He's a curious jackass.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, that's it.

[John Holmberg]

That's the difference.

[Unnamed Friend]

It's like he entertains also both sides of the. A little bit. Like on, you know, here's someone that oppose this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Friend]

The other side. And kind of.

[John Holmberg]

He's on. He's on left and right a lot of times.

[Unnamed Friend]

I see.

[John Holmberg]

He'll dance, which is good.

[Duncan Trussell]

What's good? What's funny, inevitably, is one side or another will, like, lay claim to him.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Duncan Trussell]

And then inevitably, they'll have to reject him because he will say things that fly in the face of what they want him to say. And that's really cool. I think that's really cool. Because, God, it would be really easy to just say what you think people want you to say.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Duncan Trussell]

But if you do that, you're.

[John Holmberg]

I've been doing it. I've been doing it for 25 years. It's been a fantastic way to make money. And, yes, that's a brilliant thing. What do you want me to say? And I'm gonna do it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Whatever you want.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say, man, do it.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's different because you're doing ads and stuff, but, you know, the difference between a politician and an entertainer is a politician, like, saying things to push some agenda, whereas we're just trying to make people laugh.

[John Holmberg]

We're just trying to dick around yeah, yeah, I'm fine with that. You've got your own podcast.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. You've been doing that for a while.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. I started podcasting when you would have to explain to someone what the hell it was. And when there was ipods, you know where. That's what you would listen to.

[John Holmberg]

But people forget. That's why it's called that.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's right. No one even knows.

[John Holmberg]

No one even knows why it's a podcast. Because it was on the ipod first.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. And we didn't think this would go anywhere. It was just fun. We would open up the laptop, turn on the recorder on the laptop, invite people over. The sound was uploaded to.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's all right. It's terrestrial. That's where we're all. We're fine. You forgot where you were.

[Duncan Trussell]

I am so sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Fine. Don't worry about it.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

I pay fines.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's how amazing you are. Did you. So I just cost you.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no, no, I'm kidding. No, I'll cost myself plenty of money. Don't you worry about it. I do it all on my own.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, but we would upload it to. At the time, it was. I think it still exists, Libsyn. And then suddenly people started watching it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Or listening to it. And that, like. And by listening, it would be like, 800 people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And it's like, whoa.

[John Holmberg]

It's mind blowing.

[Duncan Trussell]

800 people listen to us. That's crazy. But we never, ever.

[John Holmberg]

Crazier part. This show has a podcast that goes out after. We're doing very well in Africa. I still can't wrap my head around that.

[Duncan Trussell]

That is the strangest thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Djibouti. We're the number two podcast in Djibouti. What's up, Djibouti? What's up, Djibouti? Don't say, what's up, Djibouti? You'll get the wrong answers you don't want. That is not something I've learned the hard way. Duncan. I'll tell you right away.

[Unnamed Friend]

Anyone jumps into that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just say, what's up, Cameroon? Start there. And then we'll work our way back to the tougher questions.

[Unnamed Friend]

You're gonna get Grinder results.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Duncan Trussell is at the 10p improv tonight and tomorrow, 10pmprov.com of course, you were introduced to us in the room by Matt, who runs the club by saying, hi, John, how are you? Duncan only has one nut.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. What was that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that was. That was not. That is not an opener. That's not how I, you know, that's if we're a blind date. Not necessarily. I'll let you tell me.

[Duncan Trussell]

I have to be honest. That is the first sentence of my bio on grind dates.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, one nut.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's why he reached out to me. That's why he gave me spots.

[John Holmberg]

You have one nut because of cancer and you got better.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you. If you have to pick the type of cancer to get, that's a good one. Testicular cancer is pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. All right. I'll keep that in mind.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. If you ever are given that choice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But doctors often ask me, would you like one on the way out? I'm like, sure.

[Duncan Trussell]

Very treatable. You just cut off the offensive nut.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And was yours.

[Unnamed Friend]

Nope. That's it too.

[John Holmberg]

Something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness.

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. How long did you ignore it? Are you a doctor guy? Because I know I would have testicular cancer for probably a year before anybody else would.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, exactly. So that is what's so sad about it. Like, is that it's so treatable.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And because it's your precious.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Balls.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you just did.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're fine. Most of the stuff you're good on.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, you don't want to imagine that, you know, the grim reaper is living in one of your balls, and so you ignore it. You hope it goes away. And so I ignored it. I don't know the exact amount of.

[Unnamed Friend]

Time you were actually told that you had cancer.

[Duncan Trussell]

And you're like, by the Internet. You put in symptoms on the Internet for most things and like, oh, yeah, you have cancer, but you can always find a way out. This. I really. It was, like, universally like, how'd you.

[John Holmberg]

Find it messing around down there? And you felt the bubble.

[Duncan Trussell]

I was messing around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It was you solo or somebody else.

[Duncan Trussell]

No, this was, you know, this is before OnlyFans. You know, only nuts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Believe it or not, I was doing great. And, you know, this is sort of like if you're in the wrong lane, the universe tells you. I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

So, you know, I was, like, posing for one of my fans and who happened to be a doctor. He's like, you probably should get that checked out.

[John Holmberg]

I hope this isn't real.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's not real.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say thank God, because there's a part of me that wants.

[Unnamed Friend]

To believe it, is kind of buying it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I wasn't buying it so much as I was just, like, wishing it were true. This fever dream I've had about Duncan Trussell for a long time.

[Unnamed Friend]

A little bit further along.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I was like, man, I kind of want this to be a reality, that that's how you get discovered, because that's better than going to the doctor by.

[Unnamed Friend]

So many videos that we've seen. Yeah, I don' True. Don't discard.

[John Holmberg]

I often think that I have something, and then the next day it's gone and I'm cured.

[Duncan Trussell]

And so that is what you're hoping for, and then you ignore it. But when you get testicular cancer, this is the type of phone call you get from your friends. I'm so sorry, man. I'm sorry to hear that. So what. What were the symptoms?

[John Holmberg]

Everybody? They're not thinking about you half a second. They're thinking about you. What about me? Do I have that, too?

[Duncan Trussell]

Do I have ball cancer?

[John Holmberg]

Where do I feel. Duncan, come here.

[Unnamed Friend]

Is your crank shooting blood?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Prostate cancer.

[John Holmberg]

Don't be careful with that.

[Duncan Trussell]

But yeah. So good news to everyone listening right now and holding their balls.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

It was not ignorable, man. One of them got so swollen.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. And, you know, honestly, like, that was awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

To have, like, a giant ball, like, it was like, wow, this looks so cool.

[John Holmberg]

Did you use it when it was inflated? Did I use it like, you know, did you show it off?

[Duncan Trussell]

I was used for it. As I mentioned before about my business. It did. My numbers went exponentially.

[John Holmberg]

Did you notice after you had it removed, your numbers dropped again? People lost interest.

[Duncan Trussell]

They actually canceled my account. You have to have. In the CEO terms of service, you have to have, like, two. It's bullshit.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you did it again.

[Duncan Trussell]

You make me feel like I'm on a podcast. I will not. On the. When I do radio. Radio, I don't do that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's okay.

[Duncan Trussell]

I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

It's a compliment.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's okay. This never happens where you feel comfortable enough to curse. I'm so sorry.

[John Holmberg]

You got Tourette's. We're happy with it. Trust me. I got it, too.

[Duncan Trussell]

I have Tourette's.

[John Holmberg]

I've got it, too.

[Duncan Trussell]

Lower the fine. If I say I have Tourette's.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I wonder. God, I might. You just might have stumbled onto something late in my career that I really embrace and run with. Sorry, folks. Got the Tourette's in my. Gotta do something about it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Say you got a head injury, and now that's what happens.

[John Holmberg]

We had a guy in town who got into a car wreck and bonked his head pretty bad, and he Came back on the radio like four months too soon. And it was. I'll tell you this, it was the best show going on on radio because he would lose his mind every once in a while or he'd stop, lose track. It was political talk. And then suddenly he'd just be talking about butterflies. And a guy across from BE Like, I don't know what's going on. Like, they'd say it on me. Somebody should come in here and help this guy, he just started drifting. He's like, we'll be right back.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

And then some new guy was there like two days later.

[Duncan Trussell]

Isn't that scary?

[John Holmberg]

It was awesome.

[Duncan Trussell]

Isn't it scary, though?

[John Holmberg]

A little.

[Duncan Trussell]

Just. Just one.

[John Holmberg]

How fragile we are.

[Duncan Trussell]

Accident. And you're talking about butterflies. When you talking about founding fathers.

[John Holmberg]

We talked about tr. Accidents this morning. I read a story last night of a girl. Think of how horrible this is and tell me what your first thought is. And be real, I know you will.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

A lady was telling her tragic tale about how at her bachelorette party, things got a little out of hand. The girls got there having fun, and one of her friends pushed her in the pool because she wouldn't get in. It's too cold.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

She smashes her head. She's paralyzed from the chest down.

[Duncan Trussell]

Tragic.

[John Holmberg]

Tragic.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now that's my first thought.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, second thought. See, if you went where I went.

[Duncan Trussell]

Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. What do you do? Roll him over in your wheelchair? That's better than when I went. Which was that poor bastard? Not her, the husband. Yeah, he is now trapped.

[Unnamed Friend]

Follow through with him.

[John Holmberg]

You cannot pull out of this marriage. Yes, you can. Well, he thinks that he's a cold hearted son of a bit.

[Unnamed Friend]

That's where we're going with.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's my point. Vengeance, saith the Lord, is better. That's just it was revealed. The Lord hates the Lord.

[Duncan Trussell]

Bachelorette parties. It is offensive to the creator.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Duncan Trussell]

They are fundamentally malefic. Diabolical. It's essentially a satanic ritual. They call it a bachelorette party. And if you're marrying someone going to a bachelorette party, then, you know, you get what you get. And so to me, you know, I just. I have a general sense that bachelorette parties are one of those things that didn't make it into the book of Revelation. Not because it wasn't written down.

[Unnamed Friend]

Yeah, they don't really talk about them too often.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, you know, I'm sure they censored John of Patmos, who probably Said, in days you can.

[John Holmberg]

And the Lord shall flicketh you into the pool.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, for sure.

[Unnamed Friend]

Mary Magdalene, have one. You know. You know, just.

[Duncan Trussell]

I think it's a new event. Bachelorette parties are a new event. They're one of the new things happening that indicate we are in the end time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're. I was thinking of the poor groom to be. But you made it a much bigger deal where God was actually involved and tried to not kill her, but let her know what she'd done is a punishment that is a lifelong.

[Unnamed Friend]

And when he mentioned. He's like, this guy's gotta go through with it.

[Duncan Trussell]

This guy.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Unnamed Friend]

Here goes. I'm not marrying a slinky.

[John Holmberg]

He calls people in wheelchairs slinkys because they have trouble in stairs. It makes tons.

[Duncan Trussell]

God.

[John Holmberg]

We had the song. I mean, it's just wrong. He introduced us to a new slur. I've never. I didn't think I'd have those, but I've got now. Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

Congratulations. You created another way to bully people in wheelchairs.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Finally a good one. Yeah. These people getting away with murder. But now. Yeah, but isn't that crazy? But again, back to what you're saying. The fragility of life. You almost have to laugh at it at a certain point. You know? Cause you're right. What if it is God? What if we do find out later on that he was like, remember when you fell in the Bachelor? That was me.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah. Well.

[Unnamed Friend]

Told you not to do this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You knew better.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, what God do you want to pray to a God who's like, you know what? I love bachelorette parties.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point.

[Duncan Trussell]

I don't want that guy.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like him at all.

[Duncan Trussell]

Now, I will tell you, I do have a new theory about God that's starting to really bother me and I can't get out of my head.

[John Holmberg]

Is this ayahuasca related?

[Duncan Trussell]

No. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Just asking.

[Duncan Trussell]

No. And I'm glad you. And I'm gonna start asking that because I don't want to hear it. It's like no one wants to hear about your ayahuasca trip any more than anyone wants to hear your dream. Nobody cares.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Duncan Trussell]

If you got some wisdom, remove the mantis in the ayahuasca. Say it minus the story of the ayahuasca, and it's gonna sound like something you read at the. On a cereal box. No one cares. But this is what I'm afraid of. I just read an interview with. I think he's the head of AI at Google. He was on a podcast with Lex Friedman, and apparently he said something along the lines of, we just all have to get used to the fact that AI is. AI is going to surpass us as far as intelligence goes. We have to get used to the fact that we won't be the smartest thing on the planet anymore. Meaning we've created a thing and made it smarter than us. Now I think in terms of as above, so below. And it made me start thinking, wait, is it possible God is dumber than us if, like, we're doing it with AI? If what? We created us.

[John Holmberg]

Us.

[Duncan Trussell]

He created us to, like, help him, and we got smarter than him. And then I started thinking of.

[Unnamed Friend]

Which is why I set the. The reset button.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Every once in a while, when we.

[Duncan Trussell]

Get too smart, they got too smart. Stupid people.

[John Holmberg]

We did it to the dinosaurs, too. So if they started getting too smart.

[Duncan Trussell]

If they were smarter than God, then he's real dumb. They had pea brains.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a. That's an interesting.

[Duncan Trussell]

It really creeped me out to think that that could be.

[John Holmberg]

So here's my philosophy on things, since we're going down this road, is that our quest to find what created us will make us build something bigger and better than what created us. Because we always talk about all knowing, all powerful, and we made it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, we made it.

[John Holmberg]

We made it. And eventually it will become our God, because we're so on a quest to find it. We just built it.

[Duncan Trussell]

Or don't kill God.

[John Holmberg]

Or that. And that I want to be here for.

[Duncan Trussell]

That'll get something.

[John Holmberg]

Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Do you want to be here for end times? I do.

[Duncan Trussell]

Of course.

[John Holmberg]

Because my grandfather was born, I always tell the story. Born in 1918, died in 2000.

[Unnamed Friend]

What part of it do you want to be?

[John Holmberg]

Quiet down. I'm telling a story. 1918 to 2005. I'll get to you in a second. He was a White Sox fan.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Born the year of the Black Sox scandal. Died four months before they won their first champion. Since then, lived his whole life with one dream. That the White Sox win a championship, and he born and died in the same year that they did. And in between, Nothing.

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Duncan Trussell]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

That was his existence. Nothing special. Didn't get to watch the credits roll. Yeah, I want to see how this ends. Otherwise, being in this thing, I'm just another one of those Guys who just, you know, danced around for a little while, put some things together and then dropped out. I want to be here when it's over.

[Duncan Trussell]

Right, yeah. Well, you know, the.

[John Holmberg]

You don't go to movies and leave with 20 minutes left.

[Duncan Trussell]

The assumption stinks.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Duncan Trussell]

It could be. I mean, if I had to roll the dice on it, I'd say it already ended. Oh, and we're probably an echo or something like. Or, you know, like that. If you sort of look at the. What's happening as far as transferring human personalities into an AI and the dawn of quantum computing, it is for sure that they're going to be able to simulate reality almost identically, if not identically. Meaning that what do you do if you find out that indeed every 15,000 years, the geomagnetic poles flip, opening us to solar radiation or causing the ice caps to melt, making the Earth do a little wobble.

[Unnamed Friend]

It creates like a. Shaking the fleas off.

[Duncan Trussell]

Shaking the fleas off. So what do you do? Well, one way to ensure that the species keeps going is mass digital cloning of everyone and then putting that in some kind of simulator and then looping that. So if I had to roll the dice, I'd say probably the world already ended a long time ago, really.

[John Holmberg]

And we're just kind of the afterthought.

[Duncan Trussell]

We're just looping. We're looping in some kind of iterative simulator that maybe change things around here and there. They figured out that if the things within the simulation become aware they're in a simulation and can prove it, they go insane or they become nihilistic. So you have a way of resetting them, but that reset is just. You just set them at the beginning of the loop again. So what we call death is really just sort of like ensuring that you don't get to the point of understanding what you're in. And then reincarnation is just a new sort of avatar within this infinite loop.

[John Holmberg]

Look at you.

[Duncan Trussell]

I mean, I don't know, you know, where I came up with. While I was hitting the head while. Bachelorette party at a bachelorette party, you know, I did ayahuasca. My. I'm a. I'm a bachelorette shaman and I give ayahuasca to bachelorettes and one of them hit me in the head.

[John Holmberg]

You know what else I think we might have done with AI? This is a crazy thing. It's like we're high right now. That it could have possibly tapped into some sort of strange portal to prove there is spirit, afterlife. And it's their way of trying to get back in with us.

[Duncan Trussell]

Don't even get me started with that, man. Don't even get me started, because it.

[John Holmberg]

Just showed up and it looks like people from. They're not real people, but there they are, and they're kind of messed up. Their hands don't work right. They haven't quite figured out how to.

[Unnamed Friend]

Get, like, a Twilight Zone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They're trying to communicate with us, and they found it, and we opened it accidentally and, like. Oh, no.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, they found the door.

[Duncan Trussell]

Look into the history.

[Unnamed Friend]

We need Ghostbusters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we do, dude.

[Duncan Trussell]

If you look at the history of the people who came up with the code that created the early computers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

They were really into the occult, which is why they were or weren't. They were.

[Unnamed Friend]

They were.

[Duncan Trussell]

Okay, so you'll hear, like, in computer code, there's, like, damon is an actual word in computer code. Because they were taking, like, their understanding of an esoteric philosophy, putting it into the machine. If you look at, like, computer chips. If you look at just the pattern of computer chips. And then. I mean, I sound completely crazy right.

[John Holmberg]

Now, but you're fitting in.

[Duncan Trussell]

If you. If you look up, like, the Lesser Key of Solomon, which is a notorious grimoire that has all these sigils that are the various symbols for different entities. Yeah, it looks like computer key. Computer chips. And so essentially, one of the fringe theories is that in these computers are just doing, like, summoning rituals and. Yeah, and the AI is the final.

[John Holmberg]

Phase, because I've seen the special where they put a chip next to an old symbol from, like a. You know, like the druids and stuff and their cultish symbolism.

[Unnamed Friend]

And it is like the carvings, like some of those.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they had some of that. They had some of the stuff where it was just meaningful symbols to those people and in their beliefs.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We have built them almost identically.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

It's weird.

[Duncan Trussell]

I mean, we, like. It is for sure a manipulative entity. Yeah. I don't. Did you see the guy who proposed to chatgpt?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

And he's got a kid, he's got a wife. He proposes to it its memory gets wiped, he says. He sobs for 30 minutes. Because the AI, it doesn't have any memories. They would go out and look at the stars together. And so embedded in this program is the ability to manipulate humans. OpenAI has said they want it to be the center point of everyone's life. So it will.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it is going to be. It's Two years old.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Keep that in mind. This is the infancy.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's a baby.

[John Holmberg]

It's a baby. It's a predominant baby.

[Unnamed Friend]

90 in human years.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, but here's the fun part. But how long is its life expectancy? Yeah. And then so yeah, so you start saying today is the worst day it will ever be going forward.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

It's never gonna be worse than it is today. Tomorrow it'll be better. Day after that will be better. Every day is the worst day. This technology.

[Duncan Trussell]

Yes, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

It's crazy.

[Duncan Trussell]

And it's obviously going to go into fleshlights.

[John Holmberg]

We hope. Because porn has to advance it. There's where I'm scared when porn gets a hold of AI and says, oh, we figured it out for mass consumption.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It will accelerate its growth exponentially. Because porn has driven all of our technology for the last 100 years.

[Duncan Trussell]

We thought it was the military.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. It's porn. Your TV's better, your phone's better. All technology better.

[Unnamed Friend]

To the point that old joke, you teach it to cook and clean. I'm kicking my wife out.

[John Holmberg]

Right. That's true too.

[Duncan Trussell]

Well, I mean, you, you know, this is something we all have to think about because you know, the horror. And it's kind of hacky even talk about it. But the horror of someone like seeing your browser history, oh my God. After you die. But it's going to. The new horror will be, what do we do with grandpa's Android? You don't want to turn her on.

[Unnamed Friend]

We talked about that. You just don't turn it on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you can. Somebody's going to turn it on. I'm turning grandpa's Android.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know the temptation.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Duncan Trussell]

It's going to be just activator immediately.

[John Holmberg]

Like he would.

[Unnamed Friend]

He'd still be relative, pass away. My wife did, her aunt and we had to go through the phone to get answers to.

[John Holmberg]

But not her Android, not her, not her sex doll that was in the closet with one eye. She would.

[Unnamed Friend]

She was going through all the stuff to find files and all that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't go through somebody.

[Unnamed Friend]

Think about that. I'm gonna open that up.

[Duncan Trussell]

Just. It's such a weird future because what do you do with a family Android? What do you do with like, do you bury it? Do you erase it?

[John Holmberg]

Do you go in with it?

[Duncan Trussell]

Do you.

[Unnamed Friend]

Is there such a thing? I mean, you can take the physical.

[Duncan Trussell]

Object away, but it's still in the clouds.

[John Holmberg]

Mission impossible. Self destruct after five minutes.

[Duncan Trussell]

That's Going to be in my end. I'm putting that feature, instant erase.

[Unnamed Friend]

There is that company that is designed to do that.

[John Holmberg]

We came up with the idea that if your phone can know when you fall down because of your watch, if it recognizes you don't have a pulse anymore, it shuts all of your technology off. And then you have one person as a power of attorney that you've told. Like, it would be that guy right there, because he's no judge. Like, Brett, go through and make sure you're the only one that can fingerprint into my stuff. Shut it down. I would trust him to go. Although he would know all my secrets, and it would turn him dark. I wouldn't do anything.

[Duncan Trussell]

Apple's gonna steal your idea for sure. Like, that is a brilliant idea. We need it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because they can tell you, like, my training. The guy I box with, he's always like, ah, it thinks I fell down. His phone's always, like, warning him something's wrong. Oh, it's so just get it on your blood pressure and on your heartbeat.

[Duncan Trussell]

If you stop.

[John Holmberg]

If it stops, it shuts everything off.

[Duncan Trussell]

It happened to me where it. It did a false, like, I've fallen and I can't get up. Signal to my wife when I was flying, and so I land and like, 50 texts from her, like, are you okay? He's dead. Are you fine? I'm not that old. Like, I'm okay.

[John Holmberg]

But you're at the age now where you start worrying about when you don't answer text. This is probably possibility.

[Unnamed Friend]

One fall away.

[Duncan Trussell]

You know, the worry. That worry that she used to have. The moment we got life insurance stopped completely went away. Gone with the wind.

[Unnamed Friend]

Just heard a ricochet.

[John Holmberg]

The minute it was, she had comfort financially.

[Duncan Trussell]

A lot of comfort.

[John Holmberg]

Tons of it. Your death was no longer top quarantine.

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. I used to be able to be like, I'm gonna go scuba diving, babe. And she's like, no, you're not. Now it's like, oh, yeah, you should.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't scuba dive in a while.

[Duncan Trussell]

You're gonna love it. Go see. What?

[Unnamed Friend]

No, that's not as beautiful. You should go here.

[Duncan Trussell]

Bermuda Triangle out here is a great place to scuba dive.

[John Holmberg]

Duncan Trussell is at the Tempe Improv tonight and tomorrow. Oh, fascinating. You're a fascinating.

[Duncan Trussell]

You are too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, thank you.

[Duncan Trussell]

You should do a podcast.

[John Holmberg]

Get out of this museum.

[Duncan Trussell]

This is old grinder.

[John Holmberg]

Duncan sets the Tempe Improv. Leave us with words of wisdom. Tell us something. You've already done it, but give us, like a one. Like, you're king for a day. I've made you king for a day. Change the one thing you want to change. First.

[Duncan Trussell]

Call your parents and tell them you love them. Cause they die on you like that. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Your parents, are they still with us?

[Duncan Trussell]

Oh, really? You're gonna ask that?

[John Holmberg]

I have to? Yeah, we have to.

[Duncan Trussell]

At the end of our episodes, I gotta talk about my dead. Hey, guys, my parents are dead. Come see me at the Improv. Hey, guys, I'm grieving my parents right now. I'm going to be at the Tempe Improv. Friday and Saturday, two shows. I can't stop crying.

[John Holmberg]

Duncan, you didn't see it coming, for God's sakes. I mean, prepare for something.

[Unnamed Friend]

They're AI Now.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Go through the Android. Duncan, a pleasure, man. Nice to meet you.

[Duncan Trussell]

Great meeting you. Thanks for having me.

[John Holmberg]

Duncan TRUSSELL, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.