06-27-25 - Neck Injury Wedding Reacts/Emails - Broomhead Wants John To Be His Celebrity Dinner As Brady Admits To Eating Muskrat And Squirrel - New Golden Bachelor Doesn't Want Anyone Older Than 50 To Suck Face With

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Summary: June 27, 2025

Hosted by John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, this episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" delves into a mix of listener interactions, pop culture critiques, and humorous office anecdotes. Here's a detailed breakdown of the key discussions, insights, and conclusions from the episode released on June 27, 2025.

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1. Listener Emails and Reactions

The episode kicks off with the hosts addressing listener emails, initiating a blend of humor and candid conversation.

• Slinky Nickname Controversy:
  Katie reads an email from "Super Nintendo Shelley Boggs" expressing amusement over a nickname "Slinky" used for someone in a wheelchair.

  • Katie (03:16): “Super Nintendo Shelley Boggs has emailed in and said, you guys are making me question my heart because I'm dying, laughing...”

• High School Reunion Anecdote:
  Another listener shares a story reminiscent of high school bullying resurfacing after a "mommy makeover."

  • Katie (04:23): “A guy emailed in saying, John, your story about Mesa reminds me of when I ran into the ugly girl from high school 15 years after...”

• Discussions on Respect and Sensitivity:
  The hosts navigate the fine line between humor and sensitivity, addressing the implications of using derogatory terms and reflecting on personal growth and societal attitudes.

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2. The Golden Bachelor Show Discussion

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to critiquing the newly introduced "Golden Bachelor" reality TV show, focusing on its casting choices and societal implications.

• Age Preferences and Superficiality:
  Katie and Brett dissect the show's premise of limiting participants to individuals under 60, highlighting perceived shallowness.

  • Katie (14:11): “The golden bachelor is just the bachelor with really old people and handsome old people. Like, the ladies are pretty for their age.”
  • Brett (18:10): “Well, that's changing with Mel Owens.”

• Critique of Physical Appearances:
  The hosts mock the emphasis on appearance, discussing unrealistic beauty standards and the exclusion of authentic connections.

  • Katie (19:07): “I don't want someone whipping their hair off at the end of the night. No, that's if I wore a wig. Men in toupees. This is what's unfair in the world.”

• Generational Clashes and Entertainment Value:
  They explore how the show's format might incite generational tensions for entertainment purposes.

  • Katie (21:00): “The cat fight would...”

• Philosophical Take on Relationships:
  The hosts delve into deeper questions about what people seek in relationships versus what's portrayed on reality TV.

  • Katie (23:43): “I don't want anyone to challenge me. I really enjoy just having fun. Why do we have to challenge each other?”

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3. Sales Department Slump Buster and Office Humor

Transitioning from pop culture, the conversation shifts to internal office dynamics, particularly a "slump buster" contest aimed at boosting sales performance.

• Contest Mechanics and Humor:
  The hosts share anecdotes about unconventional methods to motivate sales teams, infused with humor and self-deprecation.

  • Katie (33:05): “We've got a three-day weekend next week. Everyone took this week off...”

• Derogatory Remarks and Reflective Humor:
  The discussion includes light-hearted but insensitive jokes about colleagues, highlighting the casual nature of workplace banter.

  • Katie (33:28): “Last night she was down at Alchemy 48. I'm in a slump. I'm a slump too. You wanna have to have you wheel me up those stairs. Oh God, it's a slink.”

• Cultural References and Personal Stories:
  The hosts incorporate personal stories and cultural references to illustrate their points, making the conversation relatable and entertaining for listeners.

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4. Musical Break and Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with a musical interlude featuring a mix of rock genres, maintaining the show's energetic and eclectic vibe.

• Music Segments:

  • John Holmberg (31:23): “Finalist Limp Bizkit, Rob Zombie. Feel so numb for Slinky. Ludicrous rollout.”

• Final Banter:
  The hosts engage in playful banter about upcoming events and the show's continuity.

  • Katie (34:31): “Another reason not to join a frat.”

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Notable Quotes

• Katie (14:11): “The golden bachelor is just the bachelor with really old people and handsome old people. Like, the ladies are pretty for their age.”
• Katie (19:07): “I don't want someone whipping their hair off at the end of the night. No, that's if I wore a wig. Men in toupees. This is what's unfair in the world.”
• Katie (23:43): “I don't want anyone to challenge me. I really enjoy just having fun. Why do we have to challenge each other?”
• Katie (33:05): “We've got a three-day weekend next week. Everyone took this week off...”

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Conclusion

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" offers a blend of humorous takes on listener interactions, sharp critiques of reality TV trends, and insight into the hosts' interpersonal dynamics within the workplace. Through candid conversations and unapologetic humor, John Holmberg and his team engage listeners in a lively discourse on societal norms, personal relationships, and everyday office life.

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Tune in weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 98 KUPD or visit www.98kupd.com to catch more episodes of Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Yay.

[Katie]

Thank you Miles to Nowhere. It is Katie and the Hobbs getting you through your Friday morning for the big week. Next week's Friday 4th of July and all that. Good Lord, maybe 130 degrees up until then, Super Nintendo Shelley Boggs has emailed in and said, you guys are making me question my heart because I'm dying, laughing, dying laughing at that damn slinky thing I'm like, well, you should have known. You listen to the show Super Nintendo. Boggs, be careful. You're. This is brand liability. Sweetheart, I'm sorry for you to even get close to this. Got a guy who email and he said, john, your story about Mesa reminds me of when I ran into the ugly girl from high school 15 years after. And we used to make fun of her because she was so fat. She got a mommy makeover and she walked by us and we're like, do you know who that is? He has her name in here. I'll just use a different one. It's Lisa. Remember her from high school? Lisa the pig. Yes, Lisa. She got all fixed up after her first kid and she looks great. Married a guy with some money. They're divorced now. Guy gets with Lisa the pig after the mommy makeover. There's just some things you can't change with surgery. Evidently he's like, deep down, she was still Mesa. I didn't get into details of it, but I'm assuming that there was just visual.

[Brett]

No chemistry.

[Katie]

Noel, once the clothes came off, you saw. Ah, they missed a spot. You're doing an awful lot of Spanx and push up bras and Lululemons. A lot of things that are dressing Mesa up a little bit. You can put lipstick on a pig. They say, well, Mesa, I want you to put lipstick on. I loved. I loved my time there yesterday. It's weird. People are worried about Brady. Brady, are you running on three of eight cylinders this morning? What the hell did that have to do with a dead guy falling off a building? Enjoy hell, Brady, because I don't think you love the God you say you love. There's no way anybody lets you in after this morning. Damn you guys. I'm going home and throwing out all my kids Slinkies the second I walk in the door. And they won't know why. And I'm not telling them. It's your fault, Brett.

[Unknown]

What?

[John Holmberg]

What did I do?

[Katie]

You introduced us to it. I had never heard that. I've heard all the dark stuff I thought I could hear. I didn't realize that anybody had ever nicknamed someone in a wheelchair a Slinky. You're welcome. Just horrible, man.

[Brett]

The fact that the thing happens like a horrible thing happens to you. But. Yeah, but you understand. You see what I gotta marry now. Yeah, Dumb, dumb. Your fault.

[Katie]

This is gonna kill me forever. Anyway, anyway, by the way, yesterday I'd like to thank another radio station in town. They treat me great over at that radio station. I should work there. They're nice to me over there. KT car had a thing yesterday covering something said asking a question. Who would be the one celebrity you would invite to your social function here in town? Wedding, house party, etc. On the broomhead show. And I came up as the winner, for God's sakes.

[Brett]

How about that?

[Katie]

How about that? It's John Holmberg. Not only cuz he's intelligent, cuz he's funny. And it also included Frank Caliendo, second place. The funny part about that is I don't want to come to your party. It's weird. If you wanted me there, I wouldn't want to be there.

[Brett]

Neither does Frank.

[Katie]

And I think that's why people would want me to go to their party. I think there's a. When somebody's like me is kind of reclusive and I actually leave for some reason people think that means more and I think it does too. It's like I don't willy nilly go to random house parties because let's face it, 98% of house parties are awful. Just terrible. Food flies, kids, hands, man. I don't want to do that. And Brady's different. Brady's a guy who likes to go down to storm drains and start firing through food. I couldn't do it.

[Brett]

It's gotta be a nice setup in the storm drain.

[Katie]

But yeah, sure, yeah, you gotta have some tablecloths. I'm not. Yeah, we're not screwing around. I understand. You're not just gonna go down there, eat off the ground. You're not a raccoon. But you would probably if they just left pies laying around the storm drain. Try a couple of them. Something different if they were wrapped in foil.

[Unknown]

Come on.

[Katie]

It was wrapped. I mean, you've eaten turkeys. Neighbors have buried in the past. Stranger neighbors. Not even friends.

[Brett]

I've eaten muskrat before.

[Katie]

Have you?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Is that true?

[Brett]

Yeah. Straight off the road there's a game dinner that we have in the fall. And who my dad would do it amongst his hunting friends.

[Katie]

And they would bring weird.

[Brett]

And they'd bring over stuff that they've caught or. Yeah.

[Katie]

Killed roadkill.

[Brett]

Trapped muskrats for the fur. So one guy smoked a muskrat. Smoked beaver.

[Katie]

The hell? No, no. See, stop trying to swing at pitches that aren't there. What's wrong with you?

[Brett]

That was the. That was.

[Katie]

No, you don't.

[Brett]

Worst.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's why they don't serve it. Of course. When will you understand the logic that if it's not in a Restaurant. It's not food. That's my argument of tamales. There's no place that serves muskrat on special Friday. There's a reason tastes horrible. Were you guys thinking you were gonna discover this? You don't think cavemen back in the day fired down a muskrat or two and said, what are you doing this?

[Brett]

It'd be like, squirrel something. Not a big fan of squirrel.

[Katie]

Of course not. That's why we have tons of squirrels and nobody's eating them. There's a reason. Rats, squirrels. There's a reason you think that way back in the day.

[Brett]

Rabbits a stretch. Some people really like.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Katie]

But you think way back in the day when they were hunting for their food, they had a few squirrels and, like, stop hunting these. These are disgusting. And then they didn't pass it down. The reason we don't eat squirrels today.

[Brett]

I don't think they're turning down a squirrel.

[Katie]

We can. We can say ditch pickles. Are you kidding me? You can thank Ugh and mu for us not eating squirrels because they fired at a couple like, we got to start shooting deer or something. These are disgusting. And then they just didn't tell the next generations. And then they started to point it like, squirrels are off the menu. Unless you're a hillbilly in Ohio and you guys have traps and decide to have a barbecue of things no one wants. That's disgusting.

[Brett]

Antelope, elk, you know, you name the. Those are.

[Katie]

That's venison. That's deer. We've discovered over years that that's a little tougher to eat. We like things that taste good and reproduce quickly. I don't know how cows got away with what they get away with, but we've made so many of them that we kind of got through their gestation period being a little long. We like stuff that reproduces and tastes fantastic. Things that reproduce fast, and we don't eat them. I already know that that's a bad combo, because rats. We should be eating rats like crazy if they were good. Oh, my God. As fast as they reproduce. But we won't even eat rats.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody likes a rat.

[Katie]

Nobody will eat rats. That's right, Brad. Nobody eats rats. I don't need anything with the word rat in it. Brady's eating muskrat. My neighbor in West Virginia, Todd Beebout, pounded on our door once while we were eating dinner.

[Unknown]

Come outside, John. Gotta show you something.

[Katie]

Like, John's eating dinner right now.

[Unknown]

Well, they just ran over two rats out in our road. You wanna come see it?

[Katie]

No. The hell is going on out there? And he's out there scooping it up with a. With the top end of a cardboard box.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Scooping it off road.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Oh, and they. He took it over to his family and they stewed it up, did something with it. I was from Indiana and West Virginia. Was. I was the bougie kid. Oh, you don't know because you're from highfalutin Beverly Hills, Indiana. I'm like, no, Indiana is worse than most places. Except here you guys are scraping food off the ground. Well, yeah. Before something else gets it. Anyway. Don't eat rats, Brady. I didn't figure I'd have to tell you that. Would you go to somebody's house if they had a muskrat game night?

[Brett]

No, because I tried it once.

[Katie]

Yeah, but if somebody had it, would you go.

[John Holmberg]

If you hadn't had it?

[Brett]

I guess if I hadn't had it and it was there.

[Katie]

Muskrat. Whether or not it would squirrel night.

[Brett]

It wouldn't be, you know, if that was the only options. I'm gonna eat something beforehand.

[Katie]

You're gonna fill up.

[Brett]

All we're doing is muskrat.

[Katie]

You might have a. Well, no, then that's essentially what you said. Game night.

[Brett]

I know.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And you know, cuz, you know, you also have goose wild turkey, and you know all since probably 20.

[Katie]

I can tell you right now, if that's on the table, the plate that stays full all night is rat.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. It's the tray that's over there.

[Katie]

You're telling me they had turkey and rat in the same party? And you tried the rat?

[Brett]

It's muskrat.

[Katie]

It's rat, man. That's rat. Yeah. You don't eat rats.

[Brett]

I did. I took a bite. Thank you.

[Katie]

This is why Porkopolis closed.

[Unknown]

We can use squirrel or rat mate. No one will know.

[Katie]

But we don't need them. We don't need them for a reason we'd never have. We got a hunger problem and squirrels and rats running all over the place. And even Africa's like, what else you got? We can't even send half of New York's rats to Africa and go, it's meat. I know. We'll starve. That's good. Thanks, though. Just for fun. It's just on my mind. I'm sorry. I can't help myself.

[Brady]

Get something, something. Check out homework's Morning Sickness [e-mail] this 4th of July.

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

Holg's Morning Sickness.

[Katie]

Why is it got me so bad? And then this is fun. You know how we made fun of the Golden Bachelor last time they Tried this. And the best part was those old ladies because they do the confessional. So the golden bachelor is just the bachelor with really old people and handsome old people. Like, the ladies are pretty for their age.

[Brett]

And wasn't the. The original golden bachelor is this one a little bit younger?

[Katie]

No, 66.

[Brett]

66.

[Katie]

I think they're about the same.

[Brett]

Yeah. Okay.

[Katie]

I don't know that it was.

[Brett]

I thought maybe he was like 70, maybe. Whatever.

[Katie]

He was a good looking dude and this guy is as well. But the. The original one we made fun of because, you know, they were. They would talk and they'd get like this. Like, these women have shut it down in their lives, right? They have not been dating and they all kind of made. I haven't been on a date in five years. I haven't done. I haven't done much of anything since my husband divorced me or since. Since the, you know, the breakup or the really bad ones, which were, you know, since the death. And they were going through some emotional stuff. So they would say that. And like a good portion of them had never kissed anything. And you find out that as a lady ages, her face gets real soft and isn't, you know, she's not using her lips. They get like, almost like a horse's nose. That's the best way I can describe.

[Brett]

Callouser?

[Katie]

No, super soft. Like weak. And then when that dude would go in and kiss one and it seems like I just wanted to have an evening with you. And then they'd sit on the couch and then you'd hear the waterworks and it would start. The machine would start chunking out. We're trying to make moisture down here. It was like. It was like. It was like Tatooine for years. They had to have moisture farmers to get it fired up again.

[Brett]

And it was just spitting out snowflakes.

[Katie]

For a little bit. It was just. Yeah, it was just. I don't think. I don't think it's working. Oh, just give it a second. It's like a sprinkler that hasn't run for years. It'll spit some water. You're like. You've been in a house that hasn't had its water on. You turn on. There's a ton of air in the pipes. That's the noise they made at the end there. And you turn it on. All right, I got it fired up. That's what their body parts were doing. Their mouths hadn't been kissed in ages. It had been ages. So they.

[Brett]

It's running off. Like it's Gore Tex. The water's not absorbing into this thing.

[Katie]

It's brown, it's shooting out all rusty. Okay, I got her going and then. But the dude's making out with her and she's. The first time ever woke her nethers up like they're starting to puke out a little water and like, oh, this is great. And you can hear it like, like the stretching for the first time. It's alive. It's like Frankenstein's beast. But what you didn't count on was this dude. Stubble and 60, 70 year old man. Stubble is awful. Grandpa used to like, my grandpa used to always grab me when I was a kid and when he hadn't shaved for a couple of days and then just start rubbing his stubble on my cheek to like. It was like carpet burn. The dude was, it was awful. And he laughed. I think I was bleeding. So this guy, this old golden bachelor, would start making out with these ladies who hadn't had any action for years. And they'd go into the confessional, they'd.

[Unknown]

Be like, this is the best thing I've ever seen in my life.

[Katie]

And it looked like they'd just been blowing up latex balloons all day. Their mouths were all like red and he'd been rubbing his thrash. They had not been kissed forever and the stubble had torn their lips to shreds. So I loved the original golden bachelor because the chicks, like you saw on tv, you watched a woman's dead vagina come to life and they didn't have to have nudity or anything else. But the second that that guy showed and he's kissing 30 or 40 old ladies, which is gross in the first place. But he's like, these 60 plus year old ladies who, you know, they're divorced and single for a reason.

[Brett]

Well, that's changing with Mel Owens.

[Katie]

Yeah, the new guy, he comes out of the gates like, all right, first and foremost, don't give me anybody oversee 60. That's gross. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Yeah, he's like 45. 60 is my max. But I don't want old ladies. I don't want anybody with fake parts. I don't want fake hits automatically out, kid. He said, I'll bounce them the second I find out they're over 60. And he's like, I'm not doing it. And everybody's kind of like, yeah, all the guys are like, perfect, why else would you. And the lady's like, I think the quote that I saw, the one lady said, you know, people are going to think you're shallow, you're on the Golden Bachelor.

[Brett]

On top of adding that, you know they need to be fit.

[Katie]

Yep.

[Brett]

Because I stay in shape.

[Katie]

Yeah. No stuff, no phony parts. I don't want any hip replacements. I don't want any of that nonsense. And wigs, wigs don't give me that stuff. And the dude just. He's already been picked.

[Brett]

Is that too demanding? I mean, the, the wig thing. I don't think so.

[Katie]

I don't want somebody whipping their hair off at the end of the night. No, that's if I wore a wig. Men in toupees. This is what's unfair in the world. A man with a toupee, a woman makes fun of, He's a sad, sad man trying to hold on to something. But that weave. A weave or a woman in a wig, that's just the way things go. They're bettering themselves somehow. There's wig stores. If there was a toupee store, there'd be a laugh track standing outside of it with every guy that went inside. You wear a wig as a bald man, you're sad. You wear a wig as a woman. And it's because it's just not fair.

[Unknown]

The pressures of society to look a certain way.

[Brett]

Lady contestants. This guy, you know, is a lawyer and a former linebacker for the Los Angeles Rams.

[Katie]

These chicks are loving it. And that's the best part. Old ladies are mad. They're saying he's shallow and he's like, yeah, I'm on the Golden Bachelor. The reason a 66 year old man goes on TV to have sex with multiple women is not to do it with women who are retirement age.

[Brett]

I am picking your choice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he wants their daughters.

[Katie]

Yes, exactly. And he picked 45.

[Unknown]

Like that's 21 years younger than him.

[Katie]

Right. You think he wants something? You think he wants. You're already proving his point by bitching about the first thing he said. I don't want you guys who complained the whole time.

[Unknown]

Well, you just want some young, fun girls.

[Katie]

Did you hear yourself? Yeah, exactly. Why would I want some old unfun person who's mad at young women? Of course that's what he wants. He's going on tv, of course.

[Brett]

Stretch with the producers to begin with to go like 45. Good, good. Oh, we gotta go a little bit.

[Katie]

Go lower. Bring him a 28 year old.

[Brett]

We can't do that.

[Katie]

You gotta mix it in. The Golden Bachelor has to have a 28 year old mixed in just to watch the women lose it.

[Brett]

It's interesting where they came up with that figure where things like, okay, 45 to 60.

[Katie]

Yeah, it's more.

[Brett]

I can't.

[Katie]

We'll.

[Brett]

We'll catch too much.

[Katie]

No, it's more fair to have a male trans athlete in high school sports than it would be to add a 28 year old to the Golden Bachelor. That is. That is the most unfair balance of all. The 28 year old. These women, even the 45 year olds would be like, I can still compete, but this is pushing it. Especially if she's spectacular.

[Brett]

It's like you're looking over at 28 pieces of coal and one diamond.

[Katie]

Well, that's rude. But maybe you're right, I guess. Okay, Brady, I suppose that's something. But no, there'd be other natural. There'd be the big diamond, like the hope diamond and then other diamonds and then the ladies in their 60s, then Nicole.

[Brett]

But if you're throwing the 28 year old, it's not fair.

[Katie]

Oh, it's completely, it's. It shifts at all. But then what a great TV show. As he has to navigate how he will be seen by the general public because he's gonna lean towards that 28 year old if they're. Cause all the discussion.

[Unknown]

Don't you want someone to talk to or have something with common interest? What do you know? What do you have in common with a 28 year old?

[Katie]

I can think of one thing. You're not gonna like the answer.

[John Holmberg]

I want something different.

[Katie]

You're gonna like the answer to what I tell you. But I. But the other ones, like they'd have to fight harder and they'd be so mad at her because already the 60 year olds are mad at the 45 year olds. If you can make everybody mad at the 28 year olds. This show just went. It's the number one show on TV, no question. But they can't do it because the dude would guaranteed start leaning into the 28 year old. And then the fights would start, which is better tv, but they'd get lawsuits. Next thing you know, somebody shoving somebody in a pool. You know what happens? You know what happens after that? We end up with slinkies. And then. But he. You know what they've never done on that show? And in fairness to this guy's list of like nobody over 62, nobody with artificial hips, no wigs, none of that. They've never rolled up a wheelchair one. If he said, I don't want to. I don't want a person who can't walk. Nobody'd be like, he's being shallow. Dude's got his list. He is shallow. He's going on the Golden Bachelor to find somebody for the last 15 years of his life. He's shallow. He wants something awesome. He don't want to make a mistake. He doesn't want to challenge. He doesn't want to fight with someone. He doesn't want an intellectual equal that's gonna question everything he does. He wants somebody that's fun. And maybe all those things apply after. That's the first and only thing an older dude's looking for. I want someone fun.

[John Holmberg]

He dealt with all that crap already.

[Katie]

Exactly why he's single in his 66. He already dealt with the one that started to challenge him at every turn.

[Unknown]

You just don't want a strong woman to challenge you.

[Katie]

I don't want anyone to challenge me. I really enjoy just having fun. Why do we have to challenge each other?

[Unknown]

Well, don't you want to have a deep conversation?

[Katie]

No, hardly ever. Like sometimes. But most of the time it's about sports. That's as deep as I really want to get. I can talk about politics. Most of the time it's going to cause a fight. Shallow or not.

[Unknown]

You don't like a strong woman?

[Katie]

No, I do. I like a fun woman first though. And then strong can shoehorn its way in there.

[Brady]

It's something, something. Check out Hornberg's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Katie]

You ever ask a woman that. Don't you want a man to just constantly challenge you?

[Unknown]

No.

[Katie]

It makes sense when they answer it. When we answer it, suddenly we're jerks. That show is gonna be great. And this dude's gonna be making out with these 60 year olds and they' going to be so mad at the 45 year olds and then I swear to God, if they break out a 28 year old who's into old dudes, the, the. Oh, the. The cat fight would.

[John Holmberg]

Comes the Anna Nicole Smith walking out the door.

[Katie]

So awesome.

[Unknown]

She's just here for money, right?

[Katie]

What are you here for? Attention. You didn't show up for love. You're here for love. You didn't even know the guy. You're here for cameras. But they're mad. They're mad.

[Brett]

When does it start?

[Katie]

I don't know. But I'm excited about it because this dude came out of the gate hot, starting to rattle off what he won't do. Anybody over 60. I'm bouncing him like first words out of his mouth in an interview about the New golden bastion. All people want is that thing to be like some sort of precious grandma, grandpa falling in love. But you found an incredibly handsome older man. Incredibly shallow women who are more about their appearance than they are about their personality. But they're mad when you point that out because they're like, they're gonna. They're not showing up in T shirts and jeans when they get out of that limo. They're gonna be going to a gala and their hair is going to be perfect and their fake cans are going to be up and they're going to tell you, don't call me shallow. Like you're on the Golden Bachelor. Go get kissed. And watch your lips turn all. You're going to need some carmax because that dude, some stubble is going to rip those things. And then that noise old people make when they kiss. I'd like to kiss you. What is that?

[Unknown]

My vagina's fired up.

[Katie]

Oh, it's starting to shoot. Water hasn't done that in years.

[Unknown]

My lips hurt. We have to stop kissing.

[Katie]

It's that soft, soft horse lip.

[Brett]

Thunder happens. Then it missed, like, the grocery items in the store.

[Katie]

It always takes it back to food. I'm surprised it was vegetables this time. But we took that right into the old grocery store.

[John Holmberg]

He's grossed out by the old people. So he's grossed out by vegetables.

[Katie]

Oh, it's his correlation. Excellent job.

[Unknown]

When I think old people kissing, I'm disgusted. It's like being at this grocery store in that weird aisle with those green things.

[Brett]

It's like broccoli.

[Unknown]

Then they try to water it down.

[Brett]

Making out with a prune.

[Unknown]

It reminds me of vegetables.

[Katie]

I do still kind of marvel at that when I'm at the Safeway sometimes. Oh, oh, the rainstorm happening things about that. I don't know if I get calm, if I just like neat. I feel like I'm part of something. You hear. I'm not like 10 aisles over and I hear the thunder and I run to it. I just. If I'm in that aisle and the thunder starts, I'm like, oh, no, that's cool. And then it rains on them a little bit. I don't know that it does a single thing. Because prior to like 10 years ago, grocery stores never had. They never watered down the vegetables. They were just there. Somebody came up with the idea of the Vegas show around the vegetables. And then we're all kind of like, that's fresh. And it's making them fresher. It's laying there still anyway. I don't know when the golden bachelor starts. But this dude's getting heat already, and I commend him. Tip of the cap. He's calling it what it is. I have two artificial hips. I'm not mad at him. If some lady said, I want a guy who doesn't have artificial hips, I'd be like, okay, I don't blame you, but I'm 100%, sister. You're screwing up.

[Brett]

You're missing out.

[Katie]

You are. You're gonna have a dude who doesn't have artificial hips. His hips hurt all the time. Mine are golden. Golden Bachelor. We're watching old people try to bang on tv. Now, that's our entertainment. Women. And it's great. And again, how shallow did you think he wasn't when he agreed to go on and date 30 women at once for the general public to watch?

[John Holmberg]

Now, shallow are the broads, too. I mean, they're the ones going on there.

[Katie]

They're the more shallow of any of them.

[Brett]

How great is the interview? Oh, it promotes the show.

[Katie]

Like, oh, it's amazing. Great job. This guy says, men don't want deep conversations. We've got jobs. We do that at work. Women never leave their kitchen, so they will never understand. Signed guy from 1950. They're always in the kitchen waiting for more conversations. Why? I want a five across the face. You know many conversations I've had today, I don't need one from you.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Katie]

Why you chin on the idiot box? Uncle Milky's on. Anyway, here's your drink. I just. I love. I love when people try to make the Golden Bachelor. Like the way people actually have deep, meaningful relationships. And then they get mad when a dude calls it what it is.

[Unknown]

Stop it.

[Katie]

Because you just stomped on the unicorn fantasy of all the ladies watching with their deadbeat husbands that they hope someday after that ends that they'll be in their 60s and someone will still love them. But then the dude comes right out on TV and goes, I don't want to touch anything that's over 60. That would make me throw up. And they're like, oh, I hate it. I hate it.

[Unknown]

He said the thing we all know. I hate it. I hate it.

[John Holmberg]

He should be revered.

[Katie]

He should be interested. Golden bachelor make a big gold statue out of him.

[Brett]

But wait, you're worth how much exactly?

[Katie]

Changes everything. Because her parts are not 60. She's done a good job of that. She's like, mesa surprise you down there. Just gotta dig around a little bit. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats? Wake up.

[John Holmberg]

So I'M brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And now's the time to get those bikes ready. Not only for the trails out there in Pause, but also the bike parks are open now, so Action Ride Shop's got everything. And get the bike ready to roll. Or you can get all the gear to hit those bike parks. You know, the full face, helmets, the pads, all the gear you're gonna need. It's all at Action Ride Shop, brand new location right there on Power Road. McDowell, you got to see this one, too. As well as the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern. It is Action Ride Shop.

[Katie]

D by Hopkins House.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, you should have stopped in.

[Katie]

St. John, six miles. Oh, they were closed by the time I was. It was like seven o' clock when I was. There's another seven or eight miles from there. It's far. It's a long haul. This guy says old ladies are like high school girls when it comes to that. You could tell when a high school girl was making out because she'd show up with clown face. Yeah, their lips get all like. Like sunburned looking.

[Unknown]

Hey, what's going on, Grandma?

[Katie]

Have you been making out?

[Unknown]

No, why?

[Katie]

Well, we heard it sound like some of the pipes had been banged into and started to spit water a little. Is that. Was that you back there?

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah. No, I had my compressor fire up again.

[Katie]

Easy.

[Unknown]

I got moistened up by my new boyfriend, Gary. So he's kissing me and he ripped my lips to shreds like I've been rubbing my face into the Berber.

[Katie]

What do you got up there?

[John Holmberg]

Finalist Limp Bizkit, Rob Zombie. Feel so numb for Slinky. Ludicrous rollout.

[Katie]

You're done.

[John Holmberg]

Mammoth Parkway Drive, because they're going to be in town on Tuesday. We're not going to be here. Kill switch engage. They're going to be there. Dirty Blackstone from Danzig Escape for the guy Leaving Slinky on the stairs from Metallica. Welcome to Planet Mother Effort Rat. You're in love for Brady, Eating muskrats, Cold Chamber seven Dust and the Union Underground.

[Katie]

I, like, feel so numb.

[Brett]

No Dawkin.

[Brady]

Huh?

[Brett]

Dawkins birthday. 72. I thought JG might call in or something.

[Katie]

Yeah, I'm surprised you're not here with cake for everybody.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. JG was off yesterday.

[Katie]

Oh, that's celebrating. Maybe he. Yeah, he took the couple days off for the big docking festival he throws in his bed.

[John Holmberg]

It's like other morning shows in this building.

[Katie]

There aren't nobody's here. Well, we got a three Day weekend.

[John Holmberg]

What are we doing wrong?

[Katie]

I don't know. We've got a three day weekend next week. So everybody took this week off and next week. I don't get it. Everybody will be here in jeans and T shirts today too. I'm like is today a holiday? No, next week is. Next week's not a holiday. Although we are taking our vacation. But we're getting ding vacation days. I don't think these people are doing it. I think this whole crappy work from home deals going on.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it is the slump buster down there.

[Katie]

So we are in the midst of the slump buster. Ed's leading by the way downstairs in the slump buster.

[Brett]

Is it really now? It's now a four way tie.

[Katie]

Oh it is.

[Brett]

Yeah. There's.

[Katie]

Wow. Who's. Who's the second, third and fourth?

[Brett]

I think the. Well not second. Thor. Three or four people have two on their leading with.

[John Holmberg]

I think Jill's in there. I think Both of Jennifers 4 people.

[Brett]

That are tied at the top.

[Katie]

So the number one is that two of our sales. Four of our salespeople have two fat chicks each.

[Brett]

Yes.

[Katie]

And they're trying to get out of this slump for the summer. So nice job to Ed, Jill and both the Jennifer and Jennifer for fat people and trying to get out of their slumps because that's what a slump buster is. But our sales department is too dumb to know that Jill got her second.

[Brett]

One on the board at 2am yesterday.

[Katie]

Yeah. Yeah. Last night she was down at Alchemy 48. I'm in a slump. I'm a slump too. You wanna have to have you wheel me up those stairs. Oh God, it's a slink.

[John Holmberg]

Did she call Susan right away to put her on the board?

[Katie]

Yeah, put me on the board. Yep. Slump buster. I got a real good story about my slump buster still in my bed. You win. It's kind of like our sales department's having the thing that my friends old fraternity used to have which was Monday underwear reveal or they who had the biggest underwear of the weekend. Who talking about the fraternity. Yeah, the pikes. Idiots. And they would hold up their big underwear and they wouldn't and you could tell this was legit. And oh and you also had a store bought. You also had to have a Polaroid of you with that person that's not having sex but like proof that you didn't just go buy giant underwear and then muck it up and then put it up as one of your weeks because you got free beer for the week.

[John Holmberg]

I'll take the L on that one.

[Katie]

There was a dude, the champion. And then their wall was just covered in fat girl underpants.

[John Holmberg]

Another reason not to join a frat.

[Katie]

Yeah, I don't know. Why would you put yourself through that? I'd pay for my beer to not do that anyway. It feels so numb. For the slinkies out there, it's rob zombie. It's 98. Kupd bread your dick.

[Brady]

Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[Katie]

He said fully erect.

[Brady]

98.