06-30-25 - Overheard Conversation About How Bad Things Are Brings Up Brazen Bull Torture Times - BO

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: Overheard Conversation About How Bad Things Are Brings Up Brazen Bull Torture Times - BO
Release Date: June 30, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Broadcasted On: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio (97.9 FM)

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Introduction

In the June 30, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, host John Holmberg delves into a thought-provoking and darkly humorous discussion sparked by an overheard conversation. Joined by his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, Holmberg explores historical contexts to challenge contemporary complaints about the state of humanity.

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Overheard Conversation Sparks Debate (01:43 - 05:41)

The episode kicks off with Holmberg recounting an overheard conversation in a waiting area where a listener laments, "It's the hardest time for humanity" (02:13). Holmberg seizes this moment to introduce the Brazen Bull, an ancient Greek torture device, as a stark contrast to current grievances.

"Do you know about the Brazen Bull?" Holmberg asks, drawing listeners into the grim history of this device (02:19).

He explains that the Brazen Bull was designed to cook its victim alive, turning their screams into what sounded like the roar of a beast, almost musical in nature due to its construction.

"They said you could live up to like 30, 35 minutes... It's insane," Holmberg remarks, highlighting the horrifying efficiency of the device (03:37).

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Historical Context and Modern Comparisons (05:41 - 09:57)

Holmberg transitions to discussing the guillotine's evolution to make executions a prolonged spectacle, comparing it humorously to crowd-pleasing entertainment.

"It's like a Mike Tyson fight. I'm not spending all this money for seven seconds," he quips, emphasizing how even brutal methods were modified for public consumption (08:12).

This leads to a broader commentary on how historical atrocities are sometimes cited to undermine current societal complaints. Holmberg argues that while today's issues may seem dire, humanity has faced and endured much worse.

"People have sucked forever. But we suck a lot less now than we used to," Holmberg asserts, providing a perspective that tempers modern frustrations (07:27).

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Humorous Anecdotes and Listener Interactions (09:57 - 12:19)

The conversation takes a lighter turn as Holmberg and his co-hosts share witty remarks and humorous takes on serious subjects. They mockingly suggest the Brazen Bull as a "barbecue pit" and joke about integrating historical torture devices into modern-day conveniences.

"There's nothing like a Brazen Bull in your backyard," Holmberg laughs, blending dark humor with historical reference (11:20).

Listener interactions are filled with sarcasm and playful banter, further emphasizing the show's characteristic blend of humor and critical commentary.

"Look it up, dummy. You're not having such a tough go," Holmberg retorts to a complaining listener, reinforcing the episode's central theme (10:05).

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Conclusion

Holmberg wraps up the episode by reinforcing the idea that while current times have their challenges, humanity has always faced significant hardships. By juxtaposing ancient torture methods with modern-day complaints, he encourages listeners to gain perspective and appreciate the progress made over the centuries.

"Enjoy your Amazon package and your wine membership. Idiot," Holmberg concludes with a mix of humor and finality, leaving listeners both entertained and contemplative (11:23).

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Key Takeaways

• Perspective on Complaints: The episode uses historical atrocities like the Brazen Bull to highlight that complaints about modern hardships may overlook the severe struggles humanity has faced in the past.

• Humor as a Tool: Holmberg employs dark humor and sarcasm to engage listeners, making serious topics more approachable and thought-provoking.

• Listener Engagement: Interactive segments with listeners provide a dynamic and relatable element, showcasing diverse viewpoints and reinforcing the show's interactive nature.

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Notable Quotes

• "Do you know about the Brazen Bull?" – John Holmberg (02:19)
• "People have sucked forever. But we suck a lot less now than we used to," – John Holmberg (07:27)
• "Look it up, dummy. You're not having such a tough go," – John Holmberg (10:05)
• "Enjoy your Amazon package and your wine membership. Idiot," – John Holmberg (11:23)

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness continues to blend humor, history, and candid discussions to entertain and provoke thought among Arizona's #1 morning radio audience. Tune in weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 98KUPD or visit www.98kupd.com for more episodes.

Transcript

[Patrick Riley]

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[Hombre]

All they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of Hombre's morning sickness.

[Patrick Riley]

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[Hombre]

And then I heard yesterday I was at a doctor's and a vet's thing and I went over to I'm sitting in the waiting area and I have my dog with me. She's in her muzzle just in case she's drugged up because she doesn't like vet visits. So we got a kind of transit owner. So she's there and there's a lady talking on speakerphone and she's at the complex and she says, and it's weird, it's what we've been talking about. She Says to whoever she's talking to.

[Listener 1]

It'S the hardest time. It's the hardest time that we've ever had.

[Hombre]

Oh, she's going through a thing. I'm unloading the dog from thing, and I've never.

[Listener 1]

I don't. I think it's the hardest time for humanity.

[Hombre]

And the guy on the line goes, it's. It's just. It's a terrible, terrible time. But have you ever heard of the brazen bull? He says, and there was that. So that was the conversation. That was the grand theft auto conversation I'd heard. And I thought that's the best argument to anyone saying it's the worst time in humanity ever. If you know anything about the brazen bull, the dude in the other line hits her over the head with, I know you're going through a rough thing and you think that humanity's caving in, but do you know about the brazen bull?

[Listener 1]

No, I don't. What is that?

[Hombre]

Well. Well, you're sitting here bitching about gas prices and how everything's gone to, you know. Well, morally. There used to be a giant brass bull that they would cook people in if they didn't think the right way.

[Listener 2]

Climb in the butt, close the door behind you.

[Hombre]

And, you know, I didn't know this about the brazen bull because I ended up looking at them like, what else did that thing do? Because are there any. Plus, I also look to say, are there any barbecue pits in town that cook in them? So the brazen bull sort of invented the French horn, which I didn't know. The nose hole of the brazen bull was a sound amplifier for what was going on inside. But because they didn't want to hear screaming, it had this almost kind of opening, then a twisty, thin pipe that would turn it into, like, a musical.

[Listener 2]

Much pressure would cause sound.

[Hombre]

It would. Well, no, the person screaming inside would make a. Make a noise, and it would. It would tighten up. And then as it came out, it was almost musical. Their screams were like. Like, this is incredible. There needs to be a barbecue place that cooks in the brazen bull. But basically, if you were like a guy who said, I don't believe that Joe Biden is correct, then somebody would show up at your house and just grab you open the side of the brazen bull, put you in it, most of the time nude, and it's all brass, and they put it over an open fire and it's enclosed, and. Oh, yeah. And then smoke would come out the nose, too. It was also doing that because it Looked like a bull's a lot. And then just, you know, it would like hundreds and hundreds of degrees and slowly cook you for. They said you could live up to like 30, 35 minutes. And if you've ever walked on a sidewalk in Phoenix in the summer, multiply that by 10 and you can't stop walking on the sidewalk. It's insane. And then. But that lady who was complaining that this is the worst humanity's ever been. Look at the Brazen bull. We invented that.

[Listener 3]

There it is, little hatch on top.

[Hombre]

It was real and it was a government thing. We don't like what you thought. Get in. You know, and then there's the horn.

[Listener 3]

You'Re talking about there.

[Hombre]

Yeah, that's like a. French horns in it. And so when you'd scream, that thing would. Because you could. It was basically soundproof in there because it would just echo around for your. And it would horn out the noise of your screams into a different pitch. It was like a. It was like t pain stuff. It was a. It was a pitch controller. Auto tune. Auto tune. Yeah. So, yeah, that is the best argument I've ever heard for. It's so bad right now. Humanity. This is the worst it's ever been. You know, end times are coming. These doomsday nut bags out there in Gilbert that think this is the worst it's ever been. Brazen bull. But the dude hits her on the speakerphone. You ever heard of the Brazen Bull? And I just started laughing as I'm pulling Yardley out of the car. I'm like, this is great.

[Listener 3]

There's the, you know, better inaction of.

[Hombre]

It's. It's.

[Listener 2]

There's different positions.

[Hombre]

It looks like, oh, you can jam them in the side. There was ones. You could lay them down. You could.

[Listener 3]

There's all the steam coming out the mouth and nose.

[Hombre]

Yeah, Isn't that crazy? And we sit and complain that this is the worst it's ever been. Imagine people who were threatened by the Brazen Bull every single day walking through the streets. And we're like, it's never been worse. Like, yeah, I want time traveler guy to go get me a brazen bull fearer. Wait a minute. This is as bad as you think humanity's ever been. Yes. That's so hard to be a child today. Oh, yeah. Brazen. Look it up. Brazen Bull. Wikipedia. Do you have Wikipedia yet? Look it up. This man from the past says that Brazen Bull days were worse. You know, with the plague and all. Insane. I'm going to use that from here. On out.

[Listener 3]

Turning the screams of the dying into the roar of a beast.

[Hombre]

Yeah. It would make noises like it was singing, like the bull was singing itself. Isn't that nuts?

[Listener 2]

And you can come watch it for free.

[Hombre]

Oh, that's true, too. This guy emailed. This is actually the inventor of the Brazen Bull was the first guy in it. Because the ruler at the time said, well, you made a torture creation. I don't like that so much. Let's see if it works. And they stuffed him in it. Oh, the dude who made it.

[Listener 3]

Somebody did make a barbecue you gotta make.

[Hombre]

Brady. I don't know how you don't have a Brazen Bull in your backyard.

[Listener 1]

Sears it beautifully.

[Hombre]

And I want, like, an authentic.

[Listener 3]

That's like a charcoal grill smoker there.

[Hombre]

Because they always say that a charcoal grill, the more you clean it, the less good it tastes like. You gotta have the old.

[Valley Chevy Dealer]

Gotta be seasoned.

[Hombre]

You gotta have a few dead bodies. You know, 1300s, Greeks.

[Listener 2]

Imagine that. This one didn't cook as well. It was bigger. When I need you to clean it up. We got another one coming in. Yeah, next week.

[Hombre]

Let's get in there. But yeah, that dude is. He nailed it. He nailed it because that lady complaining that her kids are upset and tick tocks ruin their brains. And it's just so hard to be alive. And the word humanity's at its worst. No, it's not. I think we've graduated. We were pretty bad still, but I think it's just proof that humans have sucked forever. But we suck a lot less now than we used to.

[Listener 2]

And keeping along with the burning theme, I. I saw that on this day in history, this was. Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.

[Hombre]

That used to be a thing we'd do publicly. Oh, and the guillotine. Because I started. I went. I went and ended up watching a show called Dark Matters on history because I wanted to see Brazen Bullet was up there. My friend Alex told me about it. I'm like, hey, that's interesting. Some guy said the Brazen Bull today got me all fired up about that. So I went and looked. People initially were really upset at the guillotine. They were like, this. This sucks. The guillotine sucks. They're like, why? It's too fast. As a crowd participant, I can't just. You know, I'm not. It was like a Mike Tyson fight. I'm not spending all this money for seven seconds. I need this thing to. So what they started to do was dull the blade and do, like, multiple cuts a day. They Were cutting so many heads off, but by the end of the day, it wasn't going through the last guy. So they take the worst criminal, put him in there and go, all right, you're number 18 today. And that thing wouldn't cut through. So they have to just keep bringing it back and dropping it and bringing it back and dropping it till it finally got all. And that was the crowd pleaser. That was one like, yeah, this is.

[Patrick Riley]

What we're grand finale.

[Hombre]

So you tell me that it's worse today than it's ever been and I'll bring up brazen bulls. And you know, the modifications to the incredibly useful guillotine. Because the crowd didn't like how quick it was going. You know, I got all ready for this. I risk the plague, I come all the way down here. What is 3 seconds? This guy didn't even hear anything. Just lops it off.

[Listener 2]

That's why they modified it to put it on an angle.

[Hombre]

Well, that was to make it better. Yeah, yeah, that was the king's idea. He ended up dying by it too. King Louie. It's like if you just make it on a. It'll slice sideways and like, oh, that's a good idea. The crowd will love that. So hearing that kind of stuff makes me giggle now. Cuz I always hear moms. It's never a guy. It's the worst it's ever been for humanity. Some lady's kids getting picked on.

[Listener 1]

The bullying I just did's terrible. And he's not gonna be. And he's got mental and I don't have enough pills.

[Hombre]

Brazen bull.

[Listener 1]

What's that?

[Hombre]

Yeah, look it up, dummy. You're not having such a tough go.

[Listener 1]

Well, that's stupid. That was a long time ago.

[Hombre]

Well, you were the one who said all of humanity. You brought up all time. If you're saying it's the goat times for horrible, think before you speak. I'll give it to you that it's pretty weird right now compared to 40 years ago. But if you're saying it's the worst time humanity's ever had. Brazen bull. That was a for the win on the phone. It was fun to listen to.

[Listener 2]

Crime was at an all time low. Unless they didn't like.

[Hombre]

Yeah, you know, well, but that was the idea is like, oh, good, this will slow crime. And then you'd say something like, boy, that Biden sure is a piece of garbage. It's like just anybody who didn't like it turned you in for treason.

[Listener 2]

And if the bull hasn't Been fired up for a while. Let's just pick somebody in the city.

[Hombre]

You do it. The bull's getting cold. Worst time to be alive. Zip it. Sister needs to take those plague bodies and just shove them in the river and hope the river did the work. They didn't know what they were doing. Be glad you're alive now.

[Listener 1]

But the bullying and my son and rap music and so many blacks.

[Hombre]

Right? Okay. Knock it off, Gilbert. Mom, it's not so bad out there.

[Listener 1]

But they're in our neighborhood now. They're gooning.

[Hombre]

Okay. Put you in a brazen boy. You're complaining about nothing. Enjoy your Amazon package and your wine membership. Idiot.

[Listener 3]

Postino.

[Hombre]

It was pretty great. And the better part is the dude on the other end of that phone. And all I was doing was unloading a. A drugged up pit bull out of the back of a car. And I hear seven seconds of this. But I. I got so much out of their relationship. Which was. She bitches all day and he shuts it down. Yeah, yeah. No, I know it sounds terrible. You've heard the brazen bull, right? Like he went right to the worst thing he could think of while she complained about her day. You think it's bad, huh? Yeah. If you know about the brazen bull. No, I don't. Look it up. And then shut your mouth and appreciate your situation. I know the ladies at work drive you nuts, but this is not the worst time for humanity.

[Listener 3]

You might be now, John. In that girl's defense, if someone from the Bronze Age came to today, they'd say it's the worst time of humanity. They can't beat their kids and their.

[Valley Chevy Dealer]

Wives bleed inside their homes.

[Hombre]

That's true. The good point. Yeah. My wife's period. This is the worst time it's ever been to be. Man. They're letting women walk around indoors with the scourge. Remember back in the days of the first Testament when she had to walk around the city streets and couldn't go inside while she bled? Those were make Earth great again, Miga. It was a great. It was a great moment, though. Just loading up my dog. Or at least got a torn acl. So take her over to that doctor that makes braces. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.