Episode Summary: "Worst Job In City Might Be Divers Who Scrubbed Salt River Of 8k Pounds Of Trash We've All Been Swimming In"

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Host: John Holmberg
Air Date: July 1, 2025
Episode Title: "Worst Job In City Might Be Divers Who Scrubbed Salt River Of 8k Pounds Of Trash We've All Been Swimming In - BO"

Introduction

In this engaging episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg delves into the often-overlooked but incredibly challenging job of divers tasked with cleaning the Salt River. Joined by co-host Michael, the discussion unpacks the environmental and societal impacts of pollution in local waterways, interwoven with their characteristic humor and candid storytelling.

The Herculean Task of River Divers

John Holmberg opens the conversation by highlighting a local hero—a police officer who specializes in water rescues and spearheads efforts to clean the Salt River. He remarks:

"He's got to put the suit on and go down and start looking for your drunk uncle. So they got a scuba team together when these guys aren't doing much of rescuing and they went down to Salt river and scuba'd up 8,000 pounds of trash."
[00:31]

The team’s mission involves retrieving a staggering 8,000 pounds of debris, far beyond the typical cups and cans one might expect. Among the collected items were over 100 cell phones, raising questions about why individuals are risking their safety by leaving devices unattended in the river:

"They found 100 cell phones. And I still don't understand why people are bringing their cel. Keeping them loose hand. Like I'd be scared to death myself."
[02:53]

Types of Waste Encountered

Michael joins in, adding a comedic yet poignant touch to the grim reality of the situation:

"Gotta do a selfie."
[02:58]

The conversation shifts to the variety of waste discovered, including used condoms, which sparks humorous yet critical commentary on public hygiene:

"They found over a hundred cell phones and 8,000 pounds of garbage... loads and loads of condoms. Like, oh, God, river water girl."
[03:49]

The hosts navigate this sensitive topic with humor, discussing the absurdity and repulsiveness of such waste in natural water bodies.

Environmental and Public Health Concerns

John emphasizes the broader environmental impact, noting the ecological harm caused by such pollution:

"This salt river cleanup is a tough gig. And surprisingly, no, like, bodies. No Brett bodies. No, no Brett's been out there. Nobody. No bones, nothing."
[06:37]

The discussion extends to other polluted areas, such as public pools, drawing parallels between natural water bodies and man-made recreational facilities plagued by contamination:

"They just tell you... it's almost the annual Verrado shutdown. That pool closes every year for feces. Too much feces."
[11:10]

Personal Anecdotes and Humorous Insights

Interspersed with serious commentary are personal stories and humor that make the episode relatable and entertaining. John shares his misadventures with public pools:

"I've never had a child in my pool... two children in my pool. What is going on?"
[13:34]

He humorously recounts the chaos of unexpected pool guests and the subsequent need for intense cleaning measures:

"I shocked the pool when those two kids were in there... a quinceanera and a live birth. It was unintentional, but we had a quinceanera and a live birth."
[14:18]

The Human Element: Responsibility and Community Effort

The hosts touch upon the importance of community responsibility in maintaining clean public spaces. John commends the divers' efforts while lamenting the ongoing challenges:

"Tip of the cap to the guys who went through all that, because that ain't fun at all. It's repulsive."
[07:44]

Michael suggests practical solutions, emphasizing the need for collective action to prevent further pollution:

"We just gotta shut it down, fence around rock and then put pictures up of what we used to do before we could. Because we can't have nice things because everybody ruins it."
[15:44]

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a blend of humor and a call to action, urging listeners to recognize the importance of environmental stewardship. John and Michael's conversational style not only entertains but also educates the audience about the real-world implications of pollution and the heroic efforts of those who strive to combat it.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: "They found over a hundred cell phones and 8,000 pounds of garbage... loads and loads of condoms."
  [03:49]

• Michael: "Gotta do a selfie."
  [02:58]

• John Holmberg: "Tip of the cap to the guys who went through all that, because that ain't fun at all. It's repulsive."
  [07:44]

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness not only sheds light on a critical environmental issue but does so with a unique blend of humor and sincerity, making it both informative and highly entertaining for listeners.