07-02-25 - Couple In Houston Found A Baby In A Bush And We Think We'd Keep Walking - BO

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: Couple In Houston Found A Baby In A Bush And We Think We'd Keep Walking - BO
Release Date: July 2, 2025
Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Location: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

---

Introduction to the Topic

In this gripping episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, the hosts delve into a distressing real-life scenario: the discovery of an abandoned baby in a bush in Houston. The conversation unpacks the emotional and legal complexities surrounding such an incident, blending humor with serious contemplation.

---

Discovery and Immediate Reactions

The episode begins with John Holmberg recounting a harrowing story:

John Holmberg [02:10]: "I saw Eliza the dog, her owner had passed away... If you're covered and protected, at the very least you'll have peace of mind knowing that those beautiful beasts will have a home."

Although this quote relates to pet care and estate planning, it sets the stage for the deeper discussion on responsibility and care for dependents, including humans.

Brady Bogen reiterates the challenges of sudden discoveries:

Brady Bogen [05:16]: "There's a baby in there... Like, no parents around."

The hosts discuss the initial shock and confusion one might feel upon finding an abandoned child, highlighting the instinctual dilemma of whether to intervene or keep moving.

---

Moral and Legal Dilemmas

The core of the conversation centers on the appropriate response to finding an abandoned baby. John Holmberg expresses his conflicted feelings:

John Holmberg [03:44]: "I don't want to find a baby ever in my life. That's the worst thing in the world you can find is a stray baby."

Bret Vesely agrees, emphasizing the universal reluctance:

Bret Vesely [03:48]: "No one ever wants to find a baby."

The hosts debate the practicality and ethics of intervention. John suggests:

John Holmberg [04:50]: "Babies are different than animals. I'm not picking it up. I ain't touching it."

In contrast, Bret shares a more hands-on approach:

Bret Vesely [13:06]: "I might make that call, let me tell you, and then try to... keep the baby out of the sun."

This juxtaposition highlights the varying perspectives on responsibility and the fear of unintended consequences, such as being wrongfully accused.

---

Personal Anecdotes and Experiences

The hosts share personal stories to illustrate their points. John Holmberg narrates an unsettling experience:

John Holmberg [07:03]: "My husband was kayaking down the Verde River and saw something on the shore. It was a suicide with a shotgun."

Bret Vesely adds to the narrative with a troubling incident:

Bret Vesely [17:21]: "I remember hearing that... Sure is."

These anecdotes serve to underscore the unpredictability and emotional toll of encountering such tragic situations in everyday life.

---

Humor Amidst Horror

Despite the serious nature of the topic, the hosts infuse humor to alleviate tension. John Holmberg jokes about hypothetical scenarios:

John Holmberg [05:09]: "Kids should be chipped. And then you run the wand and where they live, we take them back."

Bret Vesely adds a lighter note:

Bret Vesely [14:49]: "It made for a little bit better story."

This blend of humor and horror makes the discussion more relatable and engaging for listeners.

---

Concluding Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the broader implications of such discoveries. John Holmberg muses:

John Holmberg [18:46]: "The people who find the bodies... That's exactly why you have never found a baby. Nope."

Bret Vesely supports the need for caution:

Bret Vesely [13:29]: "I think I'm with Brett on this one. I might call later and go, I think I saw."

The conversation concludes on a somber note, acknowledging the complexity of human emotions and societal expectations when faced with such heart-wrenching situations.

---

Key Takeaways

• Ethical Responsibility: Finding an abandoned baby presents a moral dilemma between intervention and self-preservation.
• Legal Implications: Fear of being wrongfully accused complicates the decision to help.
• Emotional Impact: Personal stories highlight the deep emotional scars associated with these experiences.
• Humor as Coping: Injecting humor helps in managing the distressing nature of the topic.

---

Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg [03:44]: "I don't want to find a baby ever in my life. That's the worst thing in the world you can find is a stray baby."
• Bret Vesely [03:48]: "No one ever wants to find a baby."
• John Holmberg [05:09]: "Kids should be chipped. And then you run the wand and where they live, we take them back."
• John Holmberg [18:46]: "The people who find the bodies... That's exactly why you have never found a baby. Nope."

---

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a poignant exploration of unexpected responsibilities and the human psyche's response to dire circumstances. Through candid discussions and personal anecdotes, the hosts provide listeners with a blend of empathy, humor, and reflective insights.

Transcript

[John Holmer]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk to you about my friends at Trajan Wealth. Boy, I had an experience just this last week. You guys know I do the pick of the litter. And I saw Eliza the dog, her owner had passed away. There was no paperwork saying where Eliza would go in case of a passing. If you're covered and protected, at the very least you'll have peace of mind knowing that the those beautiful beasts that you pet and love every day and love you back will have a home. Trajan wealth can help with that. Get you an estate plan ready to go. All you have to do is call them. 480-990-3300. Trajan Wealth Legal services offered through Trajan Estate Law Firm, llc.

[Brady]

This fourth of July celebrate family fun and the freedom to save with your Valley Chevy dealers. It all starts with spectacular offers available now at the Valley Chevy July 4th event. You'll have the freedom to choose from an extensive lineup ready for all adventures ahead, including popular models like the legendary Silverado. With four powerful engine choices. The the road trip ready Equinox blending first class comfort with intuitive tech and the feature packed Chevy tract with undeniable value. No matter how you celebrate the 4th of July, it's always better in a Chevy. But don't miss out. Visit a Valley Chevy dealer near you today.

[John Holmer]

All they show with none of the fluff. Let's get started. There's more of the best of Homburg's morning sickness. This segment brought to You Guys by Mo Money Pond, 12th street and Indian School. Now, whatever you're looking for, it doesn't matter if it's electronics, jewelry, tools, pretty much, you name it, they got it there. All right, check them out [e-mail] or like I said, just go to the store and check them out. 12th street in Indian School, it's Mo Money Pond. And I don't know if I'm capable of like being the person who discovers that, you know, the person who saw the bodies, you see the bloody bodies. I think I'd make that call. But there was a story yesterday, I think it was in Houston where the couple was just, you know, walking their dogs or riding their bikes and their dogs were with them and whatever, and a lady looked over in a bush and saw two little feet like just kind of kicking and just walked, you know. Like, they're just sitting there on the edge of the thing. And she goes, honey, a baby. And they picked it up immediately. And I'm like, what would I do? First off for me is don't touch it. Cause I've tried to help a kid at a store once who seemed lost. He's walking up to me like I'm his dad. And I'm like, are you okay? I remember just saying, are you okay? Huh? Are you all right? Oh, I thought. And then he started to look nervous, like he was scared, like, can I help you? And I took his arm. Didn't hold his hand or anything. Took his arm. And the lady came across. Get your hands off of him. Like, all right, fine. I should have kicked him in the back. I didn't really. I was trying to help. That's what you get. You're the one. And I wanted to say, why don't you keep your eyes on him, bitch? I just raised your kid down this aisle. I'm not doing that again. But I. How many times have been biking that you and I will joke and, like, I have literally photographed children's pants on the trail. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And then were you with me that day? And then the next thing we saw was a. Yep, another set of kids clothes. And then, like, adult coats all along this wall. Keep riding. And I'm like, I'm not investigating this. Nope. I don't know where the naked kid is or the dude who owns that coat is, but I just going to keep riding. And if I saw a little baby sticking out of a bush, I'd get curious. But I'd also assume somebody must be close. I might stop and start screaming, hey, baby, there's a baby. And if nobody steps up, that's mine. Okay, bye. I don't want to find a baby ever in my life. That's the worst thing in the world you can find is a stray baby.

[Brett]

I think people agree with you on that. No one ever wants to find a baby.

[John Holmer]

No one wants to find a baby. But I don't know what I would do if I found her baby. Like a little hangover on that thing and end up stuck with it for a while. I pick up dogs. If I see a dog, you know, if it's got a collar, you know what to do, right? We got a collar babies is what I'm saying. You got to put a date in a place it lives. Maybe. Chip it. I know Bible people. Calm down. Chip the baby. Keep riding. None of my business. You'd ride right by. I Might check for a collar. And then I'd take it over to the baby. Oh, the dog. Yeah, I would I. To my baby. Oh, no, I'm talking. If we collared babies, then I take it to the baby vet and do a wand on it, scan it. They don't chip it. It stays in their facility. Say what? Say it again. You were not.

[Brady]

Put it back where you found it if there's no chip on it.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, just wash your hands of it.

[Brett]

It's scary what you're doing with the cats.

[John Holmer]

No. You're hanging out with your cats. Yeah. You've got cats in your backyard. Yeah. But you kind of left it alone. But babies are different than animals. Babies are different than animals. Yeah. I'm not picking it up. I ain't touching it. And again, I don't know.

[Brett]

It's one of those things where sometimes you feel like I. I can see where she's feeling. No, something's not right here. And there's a baby.

[John Holmer]

We gotta left a baby. We gotta chip babies. It's gotta happen. Put a chip in it and let it last five or six years in case it gets loose. Kids should be chipped. And then you run the wand and where they live, we take them back.

[Brady]

We were at the hotel in Bangkok, and you know how they have, like. Instead of doors, you go in the first doors and then you go in the second doors. That little void area.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. There's a.

[Brady]

There's a baby in there.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Like, no parents around.

[John Holmer]

Not touching that.

[Brady]

I walk by and I'm like, lisa, I'm like, you think there's a person.

[John Holmer]

For the baby in a foreign country? None of your business. Keep going. As we kept walking, you end up getting caned or something. I'm not doing that.

[Brady]

And what you said. Somebody will find it.

[John Holmer]

Somebody's finding that baby, and they're going to be citizens. They might. I might be. This is a trap. Baby's lantern. Now, I would definitely help, but I ain't touching that baby. And we need to collar them. Put the, you know, name, address, all that kind of stuff. Put it on there. And if they don't have that chip it. Because that's horrifying to me. Brett and I have been on rides where I'm like, something's not right here at all. I took pictures of the baby clothes because I'm like, nobody just throws an outfit over here. And then next to it, adult clothes. And I'm like, this can't be where they changed. There was nothing else there. I'm like, this is weird. Do I call someone? I'm like, nah, it's just clothes. Probably a horrible crime. Out of sight, out of mind. I saw one. It was off of. What Was that, like 20 Something Street? No, it was 12th street, just along the 51. I think that's 12th Street. And up against this thing, I saw a mound of dirt. And sticking out of it was a. A like the end of a pair of jeans. I'm like, I'm just going to keep riding. I don't want them. I'm not making. I don't want any of these phone calls coming. Somebody had buried some jeans. I just made it in my head that somebody pooped their jeans and then buried them and then left them and buried them. Let's keep going with that. It wasn't on a trail. More in the neighborhood to the trail. It was like in houses and up against the wall by the freeway. And I'm like, I'm not you. If you took the time to bury those jeans, someone else will. Somebody else will do it. But a Toledo over in Thailand? A baby in a vestibule. No, thanks.

[Brett]

Maybe that's a good little questionnaire before the. You know, is there a chance that you might lose your baby then?

[John Holmer]

It has to be chipped now, Brady. And then you put a chip and.

[Brett]

A mini alarm on it.

[John Holmer]

I was on the phone with you when city workers from Gilbert brought Kirby back to you. Sure enough, little rascal scooted out. Thanks, guys. What just happened? Kirby walked away. Time she was maybe four, three, I don't know. Just left while you were on the phone with me in the front yard. You had to. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Somebody needed to bring her back. Not so in the front yard that people weren't concerned. So probably more so a little bit in the road, down the road and worrisome. You were another one. You know, you were a kid that wandered and got your mom got phone calls and said, hey, your son's over on our porch again. And his diaper in his bottle. Hilarious.

[Brett]

With his hands out.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Wanting some cake, something. Finding babies is scary as hell. No way.

[Brett]

It is most of people, like in a, you know, neighborhood again, you know, back then it was making a call saying, well, luckily they recognized me on that.

[John Holmer]

Well, you were well known.

[Brett]

Sometimes in the neighborhood, you see a kid running around like, I didn't know my neighbors. And that's the first time I met, you know, rowdy. He was as young as I, but he was down by the.

[John Holmer]

Just walked around in the diaper. And stuff.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

See, my first reaction is just like, somebody better do something about this. I wanna. Like. I even asked the baby. I've asked. Baby, are you all right? Huh? You okay? Yeah. All right, that's enough for me. That's good by me if you're. If you're answering those questions.

[Brett]

Second time. Luckily, I knew who he was. It was nine o' clock at night.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And I opened the door.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. He's just standing at the door. Yep. Yeah. That would scare the hell out of me. That's a horror movie. A baby on my doorstep at night. Close the door. Close that door. Call the cops. I hear something outside. I don't know what it is. Dude. Marauder. I'm gonna get my guy. We have a castle loss here. As we get rid of this thing. He's trying to break in the baby. Trying to break.

[Brett]

Son, hand me the knife. Give me the knife.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, I think on the questionnaire, do you think you might lose your baby? Everyone has to answer that. Yes, because everybody will eventually lose their baby.

[Brett]

Well, then we're gonna chip it.

[John Holmer]

Such a weird.

[Brett]

If you think you have to chip your baby, you might not be.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. But you have to chip your dog. And I'm not gonna listen to my dog. You don't know. I think chipping baby is a great idea. Especially when you get stories like, isn't it great? I'm like, no, none of this is great. Well, two diligent people found that baby. Somebody lost it. And it would be real easy if it had a tag to take it right back. Hey, found your baby. It's over in the bushes. Like a band. Marcus Place. Chipping babies. Chipping babies is great. Oh, God. This said, my husband was kayaking down the Verde river and saw something on the shore. It was a suicide with a shotgun. And that's not the first body he found as a young adult out in the wild. Well, Julie, your husband was a murderer. And he would play pretend he found dead bodies. You find two dead bodies in your life independent of each other, you're a murderer. That happens.

[Brady]

This fourth of July. Celebrate family fun and the freedom to save with your Valley Chevy dealers. It all starts with spectacular offers available now at the Valley Chevy July 4th event. You'll have the freedom to choose from an extensive lineup ready for all adventures ahead. Including popular models like the legendary Silverado. With four powerful engine choices. The Road Trip ready Equinox blending first class comfort with intuitive tech. And the feature packed Chevy tracked with undeniable value. No matter how you celebrate the Fourth of July. It's always better in a Chevy. But don't miss out. Visit a valley Chevy dealer near you today.

[John Holmer]

Homburg's morning sickness. It's a smart move to pretend you found them. You believe it's the fifth time found another dead body. Same exact mo I was kayaking and there they were with a gunshot wound to the head. Suicide. It's amazing how many people kill themselves when I kayak.

[Brett]

I just wanted a little getaway in Detroit.

[John Holmer]

I kayaked. You know, there's Canada to the north. I'm right there in the end of dead guys again. Can you believe it? Honey, you had the weirdest luck. I know. Probably keep this to ourselves.

[Brett]

So you were tubing in the canal and you came across the body.

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You're not allowed to tube in the canal.

[John Holmer]

Just. Just. There's another one kayaking down the old aps. Can I or srp, whoever runs it, I don't care if I pay one of them. I know that. Both of them, I think. But yeah, finding a dead body. And then the worst part is if you find something, you call like, I want to stay anonymous. Now you're guilty of like, you did something. Like the reason that baby is where it is because. So you got to give them all your info. And now you're in silent witness. I keep telling you guys, you like the silent. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

[Brett]

That's not even a silent witness.

[John Holmer]

You and I together, finding a baby on the bike trail. We would say something.

[Brett]

You would.

[John Holmer]

I'd keep pedaling. See you later, pal.

[Brett]

Now.

[John Holmer]

And don't work out with that baby. I gotta go to a court case. They think I did it. But you chip it and you take it over to the baby vet and it finds the house. But how would you. How would you.

[Brett]

I mean, like, so you would. On a trail. You're like, I'm ignoring it. Like today, you're out on the trail this afternoon.

[John Holmer]

Well, it's out on the trail.

[Brett]

And then you find out an hour later that's going to die within an.

[John Holmer]

Hour out there anyway. What am I going to put in the backpack?

[Brett]

You could have been there.

[John Holmer]

That would. Sit well. Let me ask you this.

[Brett]

Sit well with me.

[John Holmer]

Do I have a bike lock? Because I'm not leaving my bike out there. I'm responsible with the things I own. This person didn't even lock it. He's not losing. They're expensive. Josh is going to laugh at you. So I can't carry a baby on a bike trail. So I'd have To lock it to something. If I don't have my bike lock, who's going to be along?

[Brett]

I'd be, you know, if I had my phone with me which would most make a call, let me tell you, and then try to, you know, keep the baby out of the sun and.

[John Holmer]

All right.

[Brett]

I might stay there until someone.

[John Holmer]

Here's a bottle of water. I'm out. And pour water on it. Yeah, I might pour water on it. My phone was overheated, so the emergency call was the only thing I had.

[Brett]

Yeah, I might make that, you know, when not knowing the situation and I know it's a, you know, could be a trap, whatever. What if the parents were out there all three hiking and they lost it and the baby.

[John Holmer]

I just think that's a bad parent if you kill your kid a baby on a hike.

[Brett]

Okay, bad parent. I'm still not going. Well, that's your parents fault, kid. I got a bike ride.

[John Holmer]

I do have a bike ride though, Brady, and I'm in the middle of it. It's a heavy breathing and there's a lot of work involved and stopping is the worst thing you can do. It causes cramping. I kicked that homeless guy that time and he screwed up my whole day. And like Brett said, you should have just kept riding. And he was 100% right. Because then homeless guy started to tell me about how the aliens and the locusts and the birds are robots. And I'm like, oh God.

[Brett]

It made for a little bit better story.

[John Holmer]

It made for a great story for the radio. If I didn't work in the radio, I'd probably ridden right past that guy.

[Brett]

Because you're not gonna share, Hey, I left a baby the other day on the trail.

[John Holmer]

Well, nobody's gonna say that. Oh, I would, I would. Brett and I almost. We saw a baby, we made a couple. But who leave. Who take. Hey, who takes a baby on a hiking trail? B Who just puts it down. That's their intention. And then what? Now I've got an emotional attack. I won't need. I wouldn't even, never even date a single mother because I don't want to get attached to her kid. Next thing you know, he's like, somebody left a baby in the woods. I find it. I'm like, great, well what happened to it? Next thing you're getting calls. Well, we found the parents and they don't want it. So he's available. Ah, nuts. Like lost your home for. And then he's gonna want to meet me when it gets, you know, cognitive Reasoning and. Thanks, dad.

[Brett]

How about this? What about in the back of a car? You see a car?

[John Holmer]

Yeah, I'd help with that. That I would. Yeah. That I would. I'd make. Because you know why? It's a cool. You get to bust the windows.

[Brett]

That's true.

[John Holmer]

I do that. For a dog, for sure.

[Brett]

That's good.

[John Holmer]

I would definitely help. But I mean, I honestly think with a dog, nobody ever blames you for stealing the dog. When you bring it back, if you're holding the baby and you're like, I have a baby, you're immediately a suspect. Like, it's not like Good Samaritan immediately if you find a baby. Like, if I pick a baby up in the. In the. On the trail, and I'm like, I've got this baby, see? And people are like, our baby's missing. It's almost always you, but I Who finds the baby.

[Brett]

Amazing. The same way. Like, you're saying that homeless guy took my entire day.

[John Holmer]

Well, I took an hour and a half.

[Brett]

An hour and a half. Took a chunk out of your day. And that kind of bothers you. Normally, I wouldn't do that, but you do an hour and a half for a dog, no problem. You found a dog.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, because dog doesn't have a choice. I know. The baby doesn't either.

[Brett]

Same thing. I mean.

[John Holmer]

But, you know, here's the thing, though. A dog can wander off into, like, it can be a stray, can hurt someone else. It can do damage. It's. It's lost, it's done. So, yes, I would do that.

[Brett]

I guess what I find a lost.

[John Holmer]

Dog is not going to make people. Like, if I return your lost dog, you're immediately going to say, oh, my God, thank you. Yeah, I return your lost baby. You think I stole your baby? Nobody's going to say, oh, you get loose again. Thank you so much. You're going to. If I show up with a baby, I'm not touching it. That's my point. Like, if I find that baby, I'm just going to photograph it, call the police, maybe stand by it for a little while, pour water on it like Brett said. But none of my. None of my handprints or DNA are touching that baby.

[Brett]

I understand there can be some weird situation in less than a. It was last year coming out of a store. I don't know if it was Target or something like that. And this little girl's standing there, she's in tears, and I'm with Ronnie. I'm like, oh, she's lost, right? Yeah. So I stop. Are you looking for your parents?

[John Holmer]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Shakes her hand. Well, let's go in.

[John Holmer]

And you held her hand?

[Brett]

Didn't hold her hand. I was saying, let's go to the management. Maybe they can make her off with them before we start going over there all sudden. Older woman. It's grandma. And she has six grandchildren.

[John Holmer]

Lost the baby.

[Brett]

Lost one of them.

[John Holmer]

Sure. And I just. Like I said, thank you. I've helped and got yelled at for. Yeah.

[Brady]

Do you remember our friend Becky's wedding? I think you. You guys were there when this happened. So her little nephew.

[John Holmer]

I think he was the climber. Yeah. Little redhead, Crazy. Yeah.

[Brady]

Came over to me. Just found me out sitting at our table there in their yard. Looks at me and taps me on the shoulder. Will you unzip my zipper?

[John Holmer]

Nope. And I looked around. I'm like, no, I won't.

[Brady]

You were there. And I'm like, I'm being punked. Somebody's setting me up.

[John Holmer]

And then when you did it, I was like, toledo.

[Brett]

You were like, you're not gonna tell anyone, right?

[John Holmer]

Yeah. And then his dad came over and said, what about me, big fella? Toledo was unzipping zippers all night. I'm not saying that I wouldn't help. I'm saying that's a sticky situation. To see a baby's feet out of a bush, that's horrifying. Pick up. Honestly, pick up a baby at the target and walk around with it, say, look what I found. People are gonna think you're a bad guy. You do it with a dog. Everybody, you're a hero. It's better.

[Brady]

Because you said their feet were moving.

[John Holmer]

Oh, if I found a dead baby, I would just look. I tried to. When I tried to pick up that rope in my backyard and it turned out to be a snake, I laid down. My initial reaction was to lay next to it. I just laid down, and I can't even see that other snake that got in my house. I pooped. I stood on a table. I don't react well to that. But I see a dead kid or something on a bike ride. I think I'm with Brett on this one. I might call later and go, I think I saw. But I don't want anybody to know that I found the dead baby. Now they're gonna suspect me.

[Brett]

Because you. Yeah, I become a suspect.

[John Holmer]

The people who find the bodies. Brett knows this. Are usually the ones who kind of probably did it. That's why you don't touch any, find any. That's why. That's exactly why you have never found a baby. Nope. Because you've never done one. Nope. Babies don't get lost. Philip's right. Philip just emailed. Babies get abandoned. You try to return an abandoned baby, they're just gonna run away from you and then blame you for something. That's right. The parents are already crazy if they lost a baby. Babies don't get lost. That's a great phrase. Our. Our blind listener, Sean hit us up. Best part about being blind? I didn't see nothing.

[Brett]

Might as well be Italian.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, Rockefeller. Has it made Sean, didn't you? Never mind. You can hear it. What would be worse? If Sean's walking around with that stick. The hell is this?

[Brady]

This is this baby bruise.

[John Holmer]

There's something in the middle of my. And he just keeps poking baby in the sidewalk. Hello? Anybody around this thing? And then you just have to know where to step over and act like, well, I'm blind. He can get away with everything. Holmberg's morning sickness. What a blessing it is for him to have lost his sight. Never have to deal with this. Well, she shouldn't be on the trails anyway. I don't think. I'm not a big one for him on the bike. Yeah, it's probably not a good thing. Yeah, it's crazy. But that's a story. When I read it, I'm like, what would I do? I know I would help, but then my brain's gonna start working. They're gonna think I killed this baby. You find the dead baby, you know what I would do? I would call the police. Go. My friend Brett and I were riding, and he called me up and said, you gotta come see this. No. Well, they wouldn't believe you. And then he left. I think he did it. I don't want to find anything like that in my life. People find that stuff. You watch movies. It's like they're always heroes at first, and then it turns out they're uno. If I find more than one baby in my life, that means two things. I'm spending too much time in the avenues, or Brett is getting really sloppy. The evidence. It's the evidence. You'll find it's crazy. It's a terrible discussion. Man, oh, man. Now, like, we went down the road and little bridge and looked over and saw two little feet. And they didn't realize what they'd seen until they got real close. My husband was right there with me and the dogs, and I yelled to him, like, this is a baby. And my husband's like, call 911. I'm sure. That's not his first thing. Let's get the hell out of here. No, we've got to do something. No, just run. Get the kids away from it. Don't want to see this.

[Brett]

All right?

[John Holmer]

They're going to think we did this. And now I'm wondering, because my brain works this way. This flowery story about a whole family that found an abandoned baby later on, are we gonna find out they did it? Remember the lady? We were like, oh, my God. Kids. Stolen by a black and tossed into that river. And we all felt terrible for her for a minute. We found out she did it. Balloon boy, Falcon. Remember? Oh, dad was just goofing around in the backyard with an experiment, and the boy got in. He didn't know. And off it went, these poor people. And later we find out it was all for attention.

[Brett]

Hiding in the attic.

[John Holmer]

He was in there the whole time.

[Brady]

Told the hide in the attic.

[John Holmer]

Gave up the game to Wolf Blitzer on cnn. Dad. Yeah. All these stories where people get all this credit. You start wondering, wait a minute. The ones who did it. Dad's like, I should have put him in the goddamn balloon. For real. There was a. There was a. I can't remember the dude's name. It was. I would say, Anderson. Major Anderson or something like that. He was a. It was a doctor on a military base back in the late 60s. He started wanting to get rid of his family, and he. He read a story about Charles Manson, so he hired some drifter chick and had her break in. And like, he said, here, stab me here. He got stabbed, like, 21 times. But he was a doctor, so we knew where all the safe places to get stabbed were. And then he said, all right, I'll be right back. And then he just slaughtered his kids and his wife. And then. And then he. After being stabbed, they're not sure before, after, or otherwise, but I'm pretty sure he killed everybody his blood was on. And then, you know, all the stuff where he kind of was. Clearly.

[Brett]

Probably did that first. And then.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, probably. And then afterwards, the girl didn't do it. He did it. But he's like, put one back here.

[Brett]

Thanks.

[John Holmer]

And then she kind of did. If she was a police informant, he didn't know that. So when they went to trial and stuff, it was over. But he was like this poor husband. Like, oh, it's just a terrible, terrible thing. And when the cops didn't tell the public at the time, but he had written die pigs on his wall, because he was. He was like, it's Just a. These Manson kids are everywhere. This hippie culture, drug stuff. And he said that the one girl was standing in the room chanting, acid is great. Kill the pigs. And then so, like, 25 years later, they get him again because he's like, yeah, none of this makes sense to you. So they throw them in the can, and now they're kind of, like, revisiting the things. They're like, there are some things here that happen. They found a wig hair there, and he said there was a lady with a wig there. And they found handprints and things of people that they couldn't identify. The greatest part about it was all of the people who were murdered had different blood types, which is what got him, because his blood was where it shouldn't have been, over his wife and stuff, and then over his kids. Like, why is his blood in every room? Because it was easy to figure out who was what, even before DNA. It's a great story, but initially, the point being, everybody felt for this dude. He's on Dick Cavett's show. He's like, I can't believe they put you through that. You went through a trial. And poor, Poor, poor man, O.J. first day, everybody's like, oh, my God, poor O.J. and those kids. It's, like, terrible. We felt bad for OJ for, like, two days. And everybody's like, hold on a second. What's going on with O.J.

[Brett]

I felt he's running. I didn't feel it.

[John Holmer]

That was four days later. Four or five days later. I didn't know. Like, I honestly believe the OJ Thing was like, I assume he's probably done it. Like, he's done something terrible or he knows. But he also could have just lost his mind, that his. The mother of his kid was just decapitated. Yeah, they are after him. I don't know how I'd react if I didn't do it. And then they're like, you did it? And I'm like, but I didn't. And then I got a mustache and a gun and a wig and a buddy willing to drive me to Mexico. I think maybe I just think about that for a second. I don't want to go to jail. I don't. It looks bad. Did I do it? No. But they think I did. And I really don't have a good answer. I mean, he clearly killed her. But you know what I'm saying? At the time, none of us were like, well, this is it. Speculation over. This is how it is. O.J. did it. And here's How? Nobody knew a thing.

[Brady]

No, all that info came out.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, we all over the trial weeks, we all assumed something wasn't kosher.

[Brett]

Yeah, you're assuming if someone is running.

[John Holmer]

Yeah, I think that most of us were.

[Brett]

Like, I would stay there. But you don't know the situation. You don't know they can interview me. I wasn't the guy Brett would run.

[John Holmer]

He ain't talking to my attorney. Well, they're still looking for the killers for this. This is still an open case, so Brett needs to be quiet. Where were you again? Well, when? 30 years ago. 30 years ago? Last night. My parts for my Mustang.

[Brady]

Parts for my Mustang?

[John Holmer]

Yeah. You've got some Mustang parts in Brentwood, California. You are at a junkyard. Interesting.

[Brady]

John, my dad is not Italian, but he's found multiple dead bodies.

[John Holmer]

He's a murderer.

[Brady]

Running along the canal here in Central.

[John Holmer]

He's a murderer. He's a murderer. You know how many I'm on the canal three times a week at least.

[Brady]

How many dead bodies you found?

[John Holmer]

0. Head on a swivel. And I'm pretty. I'm an observer. I see stuff. Zero dead bodies.

[Brady]

Babies.

[John Holmer]

Well, just baby clothes. Yeah, that's still so weird. I can remember. I remember the. The shirt and the pants had like, bedazzled like a. Like a. The more, you know, rainbow with a star on the pocket. Like, yuck. Took a picture of it and left and went, well, if I hear anything about the news about a naked baby and a guy without a coat running around, I'll say, I know where their pants are. I don't know if that helps. Hi, Officer. I know where baby pants are. Where were you? I didn't click. I'm not. So what. What were you doing with baby pants? God damn it, Brett. Brett was right. Next thing you know, we're running up the 17 towards Flagstaff in the back of a 57 Ford where I got a gun and a mustache going, I didn't do that. Why would you have baby pants that don't belong to you? You're goddamn right, John.

[Brady]

Here's one for your next Dr. Lynn ad. I was working on patrol and my wife called me at 2am and all I heard her say was, I can't find our son.

[John Holmer]

Oh, God.

[Brady]

Little turd decided to wake up and play hide and and seek in the middle of the night. Not cool, bro.

[John Holmer]

Yeah. Yeah, well, guess what? He's going to be the world record holder because I'm not getting up for that. I let him keep hiding. Yeah, you hide as long as you want. Who's 2 year old can get out like they may. Oh, there. Yeah. But now they make you do like even my house, when I did one construction project. They're like all the doors now to pass inspection, have to have a secondary lock or.

[Brady]

Well, he might have been playing hide.

[John Holmer]

And seek in a house. How old was coming?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmer]

When she disappeared, I was on the phone. Oh, okay.

[Brett]

And she went out the front door and I was still on the. The phone.

[John Holmer]

He's on the phone with me. I heard the whole thing and it was. How old was she, though? Three. Oh, okay. And God knows how long she was gone. He was. He was laughing.

[Brett]

We were on the phone for hours.

[John Holmer]

We were on the phone for a while. We were on the phone for a while and then. Hang on, somebody's at the door. The best part was he didn't know. And I'm laughing on the other side. And one of the workers on the street just brought Kirby back. Where was she? I don't know. She just wandered off.

[Brett]

Thank you, Guillermo.

[John Holmer]

Thank you, guys. That's nice. This yours? I just remember hearing that. Hi. Is this yours? Sure is.

[Brett]

Bottle of sauce.

[John Holmer]

He was so. He was so un. There was no parental panic. There was like, oh, my God. Kirby got out. It's a bottle of sauce for your tamale, Javier. That mosquito definitely belongs to me. How long she been out there? I don't know. We got. Got some work done and then saw her and like, she probably take her back in. Okay.

[Brett]

Then the other came in with another kid. I'm like, no, you're not getting a bottle of sausage. Not my kid.

[John Holmer]

Bringing babies through you. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.