07-02-25 - Entertainment Drill - Trying To Pronounce Birth Control Medicine That Stops Periods - BO

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: Entertainment Drill - Trying To Pronounce Birth Control Medicine That Stops Periods Release Date: July 2, 2025

John Holmberg and his co-hosts embark on a whirlwind of entertaining and provocative discussions in this episode of Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" on 98 KUPD. From navigating tricky medical terminologies to satirical political debates and celebrity song inspirations, the episode is packed with humor and insightful banter.

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1. The Pronunciation Predicament: Nexplanon

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg grappling with the pronunciation of "Nexplanon," a birth control implant. This segment highlights the challenges of communicating complex medical terms in everyday conversation.

• John Holmberg [02:09]: "Next planon. Next planet. That's what I'm saying, jackass."

The humorous struggle underscores the often confusing nature of medical jargon and sets the stage for a deeper conversation about birth control methods and their implications.

2. Birth Control and Bodily Autonomy

The hosts transition into a candid discussion about birth control medications that halt menstrual cycles. They delve into the potential health risks associated with long-term use and advocate for more natural approaches.

• John Holmberg [02:09]: "What’s really bad for you? That thing that stops your period for three years doctors say is okay."

The conversation takes a bold turn as they joke about drastic measures like vasectomies, emphasizing personal choice and responsibility.

• John Holmberg [03:59]: "The fair thing to do is have the lady on her birth control for 10 years. And then right before her organs start to rot out from all the medicine that's just torn her apart, she gets to come off of that stuff and you go get your balls cut."

3. Navigating Peyronie's Disease with Humor

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing Peyronie's Disease, a condition affecting the penis's curvature. The hosts dissect the medical aspects with a blend of humor and skepticism.

• Brady [07:52]: "Flaccid penis longer by up to 2 cm. Who needs that?"

John Holmberg humorously debates the necessity and effectiveness of surgical interventions, highlighting common misconceptions and promoting a light-hearted approach to serious topics.

• John Holmberg [08:03]: "I don’t need my flaccid penis to be more impressive."

4. Political Parody: Golf Match Between Biden and Trump

Shifting gears, the show delves into a satirical take on politics by imagining a golf match between President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump, orchestrated by golfer Bryson DeChambeau.

• John Holmberg [08:47]: "I'll put the pay for everything. It's all covered."

The playful banter mocks political rivalries and the absurdity of public figures engaging in leisurely competitions, providing listeners with a comedic respite from current events.

5. Celebrity-Inspired Songwriting

In a lighter segment, the hosts explore famous songs inspired by celebrities. They list various tracks and humorously speculate on the real-life inspirations behind them.

• Unknown Host [11:50]: "Okay. You're so Vain."

The discussion covers a range of celebrities, from Michael Jackson to Justin Timberlake, blending musical insights with witty commentary.

• John Holmberg [12:07]: "Jessica Simpson. No."

6. Wrapping Up with Light-Hearted Commentary

The episode concludes with a mix of humor and casual conversation, maintaining the show's signature entertaining and often irreverent tone.

• John Holmberg [13:08]: "There's no rock song."

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [02:09]: "Next planon. Next planet. That's what I'm saying, jackass."

• Brady [07:52]: "Flaccid penis longer by up to 2 cm. Who needs that?"

• John Holmberg [08:47]: "I'll put the pay for everything. It's all covered."

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Conclusion

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" masterfully balances humor with meaningful discussions, making complex and sensitive topics approachable and entertaining for listeners. Whether tackling medical terminology, poking fun at political scenarios, or dissecting celebrity culture, John Holmberg and his team ensure an engaging and memorable morning show experience.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

The rest of Holmberg's Morning Sickness this is the Big Red Radio. It's John Holmberg here and thank you for listening to the Best of morning sickness. 2024 in the books doesn't mean you can stop taking care of yourself. You have to for forward into the new year and don't do it with resolutions or silliness for crying out loud. Call my [e-mail] you got a couple more days to take advantage of their amazing deal. Hombergen train get you two months of training for 199 bucks. Turn you into a sheepdog. Keep you from being a sheep. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical Black rerun Brady. Entertain me. I'm still trying to figure out why I said next. Next plan on right next plan and next. How the hell do you say it? I don't want. I don't like being. I don't like words. I don't know. Stop. And it's just spelled out that Brady Would say it the same way. Next planning. And he knows words. How would you say that, Brady? N, E, X, P, L, A, N.

[Unknown]

O, N. Next planon.

[John Holmberg]

Next planon. Next planet. That's what I'm saying, jackass. Me bounce off every wall in this building. And I don't know what it is either, but Melissa just got some and she was really happy. Next planet. Same thing. John, look that up for me. Have. Have Siri pronounce it. I need to know my. My lady meds. Yeah, Anyway. And I didn't know that stuff. Well, that's really bad for you, though, also. You want to talk about that? They say that stuff like, oh, the jello and the lemon juice and the ibuprofen might be bad for you. You know what's really bad for you? That thing that stops your period for three years doctors say is okay. That costs a few bucks. Nothing about shutting your system down is good for you. Causes all sorts of health problems. The fair thing to do is have the lady on her birth control for 10 years. And then right before her organs start to rot out from all the medicine that's just torn her apart, she gets to come off of that stuff and you go get your balls cut. Because if you're against kids that much, you know, shouldn't. It should be naturally done. Which is the way Brett and I did it. Yep. Which is a little Asian guy drilling a hole in your nut sack. And then John Gordon did too. Drilling a hole in your nut sack and then cauterizing the lines. Yeah, Larry, that's right. This is a room full. Brady should have done. Was his idea to start. You're the one who introduced us to Dr. Lynch saying you were going to do it and then you didn't. Because Brady wants to be 85 like Tony Randall and put a baby in some broad checkout like Pacinos doing in Teniro. Wouldn't that be the worst?

[Unknown]

Having a kid?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Lift one past the goalie now.

[Unknown]

Oh, fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

You would want a baby for real.

[Unknown]

No, I'm good.

[John Holmberg]

If Ronnie came to you and said, hey, I thought it was over, but it's not. Oh, well, we'll have another kid.

[Unknown]

All are welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God.

[Brady]

Just gonna need helmets for them.

[John Holmberg]

When you told me, hey, we're having a kid, I mean, I would. I don't think I could. Rolf Banerjska those nuts. Harder. Kick you square in the balls. What are you thinking? Oh, I can't imagine it. I don't want that to happen. Go get him cut anyway. Vasectomies are the way. Next plan on. Next plan. Yeah, she said it's pronounced next plane on. You got it at the end. That's what I said, isn't it? I don't know. Not my fault you guys have vagina medicine. There's no medicine for a dick, is there? Just Viagra. Just to make it better. Yeah. Yeah. There's only make our. Yeah, yours has to shut down all the gross. We don't have any pills. One for. What's the one where it makes Peroni's disease?

[Brady]

The one that makes you go sideways?

[John Holmberg]

I want Peyronie's. I want a question. Yeah, I want to. I want to. I want to peek around edges.

[Brady]

How would you tackle yourself at that.

[John Holmberg]

Point with a curve?

[Unknown]

I don't know, like playing pilot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. It's like scoop it. It's like taping a hockey stick. Get around the edge, man.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

It's not big enough to be a problem. It's not like I'm sitting there working with it.

[Unknown]

Depends on the size of the curve.

[John Holmberg]

Square footage. It's just my hand will slide around an edge. Ever rub a side of a counter? Watch. It's just like doing this. There you go. Smooth edge. If it's at a 90 degree angle.

[Brady]

Big curve you got there.

[John Holmberg]

I'm proud of it. If it was like it was 90 degrees like A.

[Unknown]

Then there might be a little trouble.

[John Holmberg]

That would be harder. Yeah, I kind of. I think the Peroni's disease drawings are like. I want one of those like in porn when the guy's got the upside down erection. Yeah, the ones that point down. Yeah. Fascinating.

[Brady]

Is that a problem or they don't have a ligament or something?

[Unknown]

I hear they clip the ligament there and it takes the.

[Brady]

They clip it on purpose?

[Unknown]

Yeah. Cuz you.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why spitball.

[Unknown]

Cuz it says. No, they say because you're taking. It's takes the curve out.

[John Holmberg]

No, it adds more curve down. You've seen what I'm talking about.

[Unknown]

Well, like the ligament's not supporting it. Huh.

[John Holmberg]

It just looks like. It looks like a. Like a hose bib that you didn't spin all the way around. It's going the wrong way. It's the same shape like this. Only it's like this.

[Unknown]

Oh, I've seen them one where it didn't have the curve just then.

[John Holmberg]

It would be straight out.

[Unknown]

Yeah, straight out.

[John Holmberg]

But that's what I'm not talking about. I'm talking about the ones that curve down.

[Brady]

Those are cool box.

[John Holmberg]

And you've heard of people who Clip the ligament.

[Unknown]

That guy? Yeah. I read something one time, a guy thinks he by doing that, and the doctors are saying, no, do not do that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, don't clip your penis later on your own, at least. That's a bad idea. But what you can do to get that curve out is a little jello powder, some lemon juice, and ibuprofen. It works for men too. I'll go home and try it myself. That's how much I trust this system. We need to have Dr. Lin in one day to school us on all this stuff. Too busy just cutting nuts out. Let's do a remote from his place. People are like, you know what else shuts it down? Fentanyl. Ladies, give it a try. That'll close your mouth too. Oh, good Lord.

[Brady]

Thanks to Google. AI Yes. Cutting the suspensory ligament, also known as ligamentolysis, can make a flaccid penis appear longer by up to 2 cm.

[John Holmberg]

Flaccid penis longer by up to 2 cm. Who needs that? What am I doing with my flaccid penis? Being big says.

[Brady]

But it doesn't actually change the penis's length.

[John Holmberg]

I don't need my flaccid penis to be more impressive.

[Brady]

This ligament attaches the penis to the pubic bone, and during the procedure, the surgeon will sever it and move skin from the abdomen to the shaft of the penis.

[John Holmberg]

We're. I'm tapping out on that. You're the UFC champ. I tapped out the penis, then lays.

[Brady]

Closer to the body at a more.

[John Holmberg]

Obtuse angle, making it appear longer when it's useless. Right. So just. You're impressive when you pee. Yeah, apparently. Well.

[Brady]

Or you get your dangler into the water like you're nuts.

[John Holmberg]

I sit to pee. Nobody's looking at this. Feel like the guy at the bathroom. Hold on. Move out of the way. Look out now. Oh, you've cut the ligament, I see. Yes, I did. I regrets that. I'll never forget that guy.

[Unknown]

We got another great thing that came out of the debates last night. Bryson DeChambeau is going. He offered to host Joe Biden and Donald Trump in a golf match on his YouTube channel. He says, I'll.

[John Holmberg]

I'll put the pay for everything. It's all covered. And that's really what came out of the debate. It was like when Biden said he could out drive Trump. We all shook our heads like, don't. Don't get into feats of strength, Joe.

[Unknown]

Then it got specific. You can't carry a bag. I carry a bag.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't play if you carry your own bag. I get that. That was some schoolyard stuff right there. I beat you by 50 yards in the end. Okay, let's not act like children, Joe. It's your second childhood for him to say that. I know you're having your Alzheimer's second childhood right now, but let's not act like kids and let's not get into feats of strength. You're a piece of paper. Let's be honest. I can beat you. Beach. Sorry. Right there. I get my golf clubs. I'm going to get my clubs. I'm going to beat my 50 yards. 50 yards?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You would have beat me by 50 yards. And then how long is it going to take for you to walk to a ball you've hit? 50 yards? My guess is Joe's gonna have to hold your hand and you gotta walk about 50 yards, and you're gonna need a nap and a. Sammy.

[Unknown]

Gave me.

[John Holmberg]

A very weak voice. I hit a bull. 3,000 yards. Says he gets 3,000 yards. He doesn't know what he's talking about.

[Unknown]

Trump would snap. It's five minutes to line up this putt.

[John Holmberg]

How long are you gonna stand over it? Ah, there's a peach. Joe.

[Unknown]

Chills his Caddy Wee.

[John Holmberg]

Great shot, Joe. All right, it's eight feet in front of you. Take the long, long walk. The trail of tears. I call it to your ball, which should take about a year. Hey, we're almost done with hole one, and we've been playing for three hours. Joe's really cooking 50 bucks.

[Unknown]

Trump eats it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Trump starts picking his. You want to smoke a little weed, Joe? It's good stuff. I got it from a Negro. That's Obama's weed. I told you. I think I answered, hey, let's party. He plays the Journey. It's all Caddysack. 50 grand says you missed this putt. Joe, you're on. All right, go ahead.

[Unknown]

The dude from the bear. Jeremy Alan White is portraying Bruce Springsteen in an upcoming biopic.

[John Holmberg]

That'll work.

[Unknown]

And he says he's gonna sing all the songs, so.

[Brady]

I don't know about that.

[Unknown]

He's working on it and says we're gonna give it our best try. He hasn't met the Boss yet.

[John Holmberg]

Movie about him.

[Unknown]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady]

Taron Edgerton did a pretty good job at Elton John, but I still wanted to hear the Elton John songs.

[John Holmberg]

Did he sing them?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know that. I didn't watch that movie. It was so gay looking, like, even for me. Real Gay.

[Unknown]

Here's some famous songs written about celebrities.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. You're so Vain.

[Unknown]

Didn't even put that one on. They don't know who's in the top 10, basically. Or the 10 that they listed.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Dude looks like a lady.

[John Holmberg]

Michael Jackson.

[Unknown]

Aerosmith. Nope. It was a Motley Crue. Singer. Vince Neil.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Vince, you.

[Unknown]

Your body is a wonderland. I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Jessica Simpson.

[Unknown]

No. Oh, they're saying Jennifer Love Hewitt. Possibly. It's not confirmed, but that's where all of me. John Legend.

[John Holmberg]

Tegan.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck.

[Unknown]

Bad Blood. Tay Tay Swift.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Bad Blood is about Scooter Braun. No. Is. Is it about Scooter Braun? No, it's about that boy that. I don't know his name, but he's not a boy.

[Unknown]

Katy Perry.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Ooh, I didn't know that.

[Unknown]

And then another Tay Tay. Famous Kanye West.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And Kim Kardashian. They're in a fight about that. Kim Kardashian won't let that go.

[Unknown]

Cry Me a River by Justin Timberland. Brittany Flowers by Miley Cyrus.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's about. I forgot the guy's name.

[Unknown]

Liam.

[John Holmberg]

Liam. That's right.

[Unknown]

Liam Hemsworth about it. And rock.

[John Holmberg]

There's no rock song.

[Unknown]

No. Yeah, that's it. Candle in the Wind double. Originally, Marilyn Monroe.

[John Holmberg]

Diana Ross. Diana.

[Unknown]

And then Princess.

[John Holmberg]

Princess Diana Ross, as I always used to call her. You didn't know her middle name?

[Unknown]

I did. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just Princess Diana Ross. She's not coming up, though. She's staying down for good. The original was Norma Jean. Goodbye, Norma Jean. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. Hi, I'm Richard Karn and you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. The brand new pocket hose Copperhead with pocket Pivot is here and it's a total game changer. Plus your super light and ultra durable pocket hose, Copperhead is backed with a 10 year warranty. What could be better than that? For a limited time, you can get a free Pocket Pivot and their 10 pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size Copperhead hose. Just go to getcopperhead.com that's getcopperhead.com for.

[Brady]

Your two free gifts with purchase.

[John Holmberg]

Getcopperhead.com.