07-03-25 - More Pranks and More Info The Pedophilic Burglar From Nextdoor - BO

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: More Pranks and More Info The Pedophilic Burglar From Nextdoor - BO
Release Date: July 3, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo

---

Introduction to the Episode

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness aired on July 3, 2025, host John Holmberg, along with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delves into a mix of lighthearted pranks and a serious discussion about a criminal case making headlines in Arizona.

---

Pranks and Personal Anecdotes

Timestamp: [00:38] - [09:50]

The episode begins with John Holmberg recounting humorous experiences with his friend Thomas, particularly focusing on pranks that have both entertained and frustrated listeners. One notable prank involves making a car seat uncomfortably hot, which had Thomas visibly distressed:

John Holmberg [01:45]: "I'm in tears laughing. I can't. And then he'd try to normalize like it was okay... Sweat just pouring off of his head. Like you gotta get your act together."

Another memorable prank discussed is when Brady Bogen used to untie people's golf bags at each hole during golf outings, leading to confusion and frustration among fellow golfers:

Brady Bogen [04:29]: "He's never once got me."

Further entertaining stories include pranks aimed at friends and acquaintances, such as tricking Megan into believing a burglar was in her backyard, resulting in her fearing for her safety:

John Holmberg [04:37]: "I'll go stand outside in the backyard when she comes home. And I say, 'Hey, I think there's a guy back there.'"

These stories highlight the camaraderie and playful dynamics among the hosts, setting a jovial tone for the episode.

---

The Pedophilic Burglar Incident

Timestamp: [09:50] - [20:13]

Shifting gears, the hosts address a grave topic that has been stirring conversations across Arizona—the alarming case of a burglar with pedophilic tendencies, dubbed the "Pedophilic Burglar" on social media platforms like Nextdoor.

John Holmberg critically examines the media portrayal of the criminal, emphasizing the severity of the crimes committed:

John Holmberg [08:16]: "Once you get attached to that word at all, you are out on society. There's no comeback. None. You cannot be brought home, forgiven anything."

The discussion delves into the nature of the burglar's actions, including his intrusion into a family's home and inappropriate behavior towards a four-year-old child. The hosts debate the appropriate societal and legal responses to such offenders:

John Holmberg [16:14]: "There's only one that matters. Pedophile murderer is the only one worse. You know, takes out his victims."

Brady Bogen adds to the conversation by questioning the classification and societal labeling of the criminal, contemplating the implications of combining serious offenses like burglary and pedophilia:

Brady Bogen [16:01]: "That's gonna stack on there pretty easy."

The hosts also discuss the role of alcohol in influencing behavior, with John Holmberg asserting that alcohol serves as an inhibitions releaser rather than a cause of heinous actions:

John Holmberg [13:05]: "Alcohol doesn't make you do bad things that you didn't already want to do. Certainly isn't any creation or excuse for pedophilia or burglary."

The segment serves as a platform for the hosts to express their outrage and advocate for stringent consequences for such criminals, reflecting the community's concerns and the importance of addressing such serious violations.

---

Closing Thoughts and Community Reflections

Timestamp: [20:13] - End

In the concluding parts of the episode, John Holmberg appeals to the listeners to remain vigilant and proactive in reporting and handling such criminal activities. He underscores the community's role in supporting victims and ensuring that justice is served promptly and effectively.

John Holmberg [20:07]: "They have him. All you care about is what got stolen. There's only one thing that matters here, stupid."

The hosts reinforce the message that society must not tolerate or downplay the severity of crimes involving the safety and well-being of children, advocating for a collective stance against such offenders.

---

Final Remarks

Throughout the episode, Holmberg's Morning Sickness balances humor with serious discourse, reflecting the multifaceted nature of everyday conversations. By addressing both lighthearted pranks and pressing societal issues, the hosts engage listeners in meaningful and entertaining discussions that resonate with their Arizona audience.

---

Note: This summary excludes promotional content and focuses solely on the core discussions and themes presented in the episode.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness time once again to talk to you about this week's pick of the litter. Lost Our home pet rescue is where I go. And I got to say thanks to our friends at Turf Monsters AZ.com this week we're going to focus once again on Chai and Noah, a little bonded pair. They're adorable three and five year old little terrier mix type dogs. You got to see them. They're best friends and they will make your house better. They like other dogs too, so it's a perfect match. They wear those adoption fees. If Chai and Noah are right for you, they're this week's pick of the litter brought to you by turfmonstersaz.com this.

[Doug Hopkins]

Fourth of July celebrate family fun and the freedom to save with your Valley Chevy dealers. It all starts with spectacular offers available now at the Valley Chevy July 4th event. You'll have the freedom to choose from an extensive lineup ready for all adventures ahead, including popular models like the legendary Silverado with four powerful engine choices, the Road Trip ready Equinox blending first class comfort with intuitive tech. And the feature packed Chevy tract with undeniable value. No matter how you celebrate the 4th of July, it's always better in a Chevy. But don't miss out. Visit a Valley Chevy dealer near you today.

[John Holmberg]

The Best of the Morning Sickness is on the air. 98 KUPD. Do any of you people do any actual work? The Best of Homburg's Morning Sickness Guy emailed me and said how did you not laugh your ass off while Thomas was. I did. And the funny part was that was making him more mad that I was laughing at how hot a seat was because I. It's one of the. Yeah, it's one of those jokes. It's like, what's wrong with you? And then I would. I pretend to be mad at him for squirming around, but sit down. Gonna put you in a child seat. I can't sit in this thing. It's like an oven. I've never felt anything so horrible in my life.

[Brady]

His back was loose.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and he was the best part. I wish I'd have had that on video. Sweat just pouring off of his head. Like you gotta get. You got to get your act together. We're about to golf for four hours. It's 112. If this hurts, I'm not going to make it. Johnny. Johnny. This is the worst day I've ever had. And miles of him bitching. Oh God. Another red light. I can't take this. I'll sit in the back seat and like. You're not sitting in the back seat. I'm not Driving Miss Daisy. Sit down and be a man. And then you could laugh. And I was. I was in tears laughing. I can't. And then he'd try to normalize like it was okay. That was building this new fries over here. I think it's just overkill. There's a safe way across my leg that on fire. He would try to have a moment where it didn't bother him, but it was just too much. I don't know how you're doing it. It's your seat as hot as mine. Like reach over, like. Get your hands off the driver. What's wrong with you? I can't tell what's going on. You got the seat eater, son, don't you? You bastard. I hate you. Anyway. I want to get him again. I got to hang out with Thomas more. He's just a blast. I don't care. Whatever you want to pick. It's Thursday. It's the day before a three, four day weekend. Something easy state of slow decay maybe in flames is always solid. Let's go with a little of that for Thomas's last in flames. Now I just want. Now all I want to do is prank Scotsman all day long. And he's never gotten me. I'll put that challenge out to Thomas. He's never once got me. Brady had a good prank for a while there on the golf course where he would just untie people's golf bags like every hole. And you'd drive away in the cart and your bag would fall off the cart. And it takes about six times before you realize somebody's doing it. You just think the cart's broken. That's a fun one. But then now golf clubs are a thousand dollars each. You can't start screwing around. And people get really pissed off because heads will explode. It's there. Oh, and then Thomas and I forgot about that. Thomas and I pranked Megan that time. Let's get Megan. Is she hold. I'm like, no, she'll be home in a minute. I got an idea. Because I had just had these doors added to the back of my house that made it go right out to the back so it was wide open. I'll go stand outside in the backyard when she comes home. And you say, hey, I think there's a guy back there. I did it. And I've never heard a scream louder in my life. And I thought she was gonna kill Tom. And all you hear is Megan. That's me. That's me, dude. Gonna call the police. Stop screaming. Kill him. Kill him. You people are insane. You bastards. That was every prank he's wanted to do.

[Brady]

Oh, he pranked himself, too, at one time because he thought he got a sweet ride.

[John Holmberg]

Wasabi.

[Brady]

Oh, no, they got a white bronco. Oh, yeah, you're gonna get some comments on that one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he bought a 94 white Bronco he still had. I got my OJ ride. You want to take that? I'm like, I never want to get in that with you. You can ride in the back. I got a mustache and a gun. Wheat and put it. And then the time he came over to my house and thought I pranked him, but I didn't. When I had chicken wings and he went to dip it in the guacamole, which no one does. Only a Scottish person would think that's a good idea. He dipped it in the guacamole. And I came back out, and he's laying in the yard crying, what have you done, Johnny? What have you done? Like. Like tears rolling. I was like, ah, dipped those wings. What's on those? Dipped him in the guacamole. And I can't see straight. My chest is on fire, like. Well, first off, no one dips wings in guacamole. And second, that's wasabi. Ah. Took a huge helping. I ate a pound of wasabi in his nose. Face. I think my nose broken. It makes you feel like your nose is gonna bleed. Crying his eyes out in the backyard. Who puts that next to wings? I'm like, who dips their wings in what they think is guacamole? I've never heard of that. From Scotland. We eat the insides of sheep. And then there's the story that I talked about yesterday that's now it's getting national attention and stuff about that dude that wandered into that house. They've called him the pedophilic burglar. You can stop at pedophile. You don't need that. You don't need that burglar to that. You're a pedophilic burglar. And you come in and go, I'm the pedophile burglar. Right. Well, I'm gonna go guard the kids. You have at everything else. The burglar part doesn't bother me at all. What about the, like, you can. You can have the word pedophilic in front of pedophilic hamburglar and suddenly you're just handing that guy a bunch of burgers going, is this gonna cover you for a little bit? Like a half of it? Pedophilic guy who cured cancer. You still have a few questions about the first word. He's just a pedophile. If he took a couple, you know, items off the shelf, consider yourself lucky that he didn't act in the first part of his title. But yeah, yesterday we were talking about it. He was in a person's kid's room. I thought it was a daughter. It's their son. Four year old kid. And he had his. He did, you know, and evidently the dad started to rough him up. I was talking about it because on next door app all the comments were like, oh, good. Use violence in front of your 4 year old to show how it solves problems. Like, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Did you hear the pedophilic burglar was in the house? I'm using a whole bunch of violence on that. That may be the worst title of a criminal other than like, I don't know, genocidal burglar, I guess. Maybe Even still, I think pet. Both are really bad. Burglar part, not necessary. The pedophilic pickpocket. There's half of that is just not a thing. Pedophile, Boom. Across the board. That's it. And evidently he made contact with the 4 year old that made it. So they're like, all right, we could consider this a sexy crime.

[Brady]

Confirming that he knew what was in the room, not that he was so drunk that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he was that drunk too.

[Brady]

And that he's like in his mind because he's in the bedroom, he's getting ready for bed.

[John Holmberg]

They, they caught him. He said, I don't know, I was so drunk, I don't know what I did. Yeah, so. But what you did is gonna get you the title pedophilic burglar.

[Brady]

That's gonna stack on there pretty easy.

[John Holmberg]

So you're a pedophile. Oh, no, I'm also a burglar. I mean, like, that's the good part. Like I'm. Oh no, no, no, you're getting it all wrong. I'm more burglar than pedophile. Like, no, there's no degrees here. You're a. That's it. The pedophilic burglar. Not a good band name.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I am the pedophilic astronaut. Fuck you, I'm an astronaut. God dammit. I'm a hero. Nah, but the whole thing you said before, that ruins everything. Proving my point once again that once you get attached to that word at all, you are out on society. That's it. There's no comeback. None. You cannot be brought home, forgiven anything. I don't know. I don't want to forgive you. I don't want anyone to forgive you. Certain things are forgivable. That's one of them. You just. No, no, no. You're done here. You're touching kids. Little four year old kids. You're breaking it drunk or other. I've been really drunk before. I mean really drunk. Never did pedophilia cross the brain like I'm so drunk, kids are hot. No, it's not the alcohol that does that. There'd be. I'd be all for banning it. Nobody gets so drunk that kids suddenly are on the radar. That's going, you're going into the game with that. It drops your already installed inhibitions. That's it.

[Brady]

You can understand to a certain level that one is probably too far. I mean, I had a friend in college that was so drunk he thought the turntable was the urinal. Lifted the lid.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, sure. I can see you peeing in the wrong place. Maybe a little bit.

[Brady]

Working it.

[John Holmberg]

Nuisance. Probably should lay off the sauce. He does dumb things.

[Brady]

But any other one, you know, do it to that level.

[John Holmberg]

To me, drinking to excess like that. The worst that's going to happen is you're going to do something you've always wanted to do sober. It's in your brain. This dude doesn't like going to the bathroom. He likes peeing. He wants to just go when he feels it. So he's like ah. And said I because I had a. My ex girlfriend. I talked to her a few years after we broke up. This was the one who wrote me the Brian Adams letter. She came back, imagine. And that was when she wrote the Brian Adams letter. We broke up. We moved on. She did. I was a mess, she moved on. She ends up going with this guy who's a marine who in the middle of the night comes home drunk once. And this is why she wrote me the Brian Adams letter. Comes home drunken, wakes her up and he goes, I could kill you anytime I want to. Then he went into the closet and started peeing. And then she wrote me the letter, like right after. Like you weren't so bad after all. Junos. Why does everybody sign off like that at the end of this beautiful letter? She plagiarized from Brian Adams it's it said. Love, Jacqueline. P.S. holy forgot how big your Juno was.

[Doug Hopkins]

This Fourth of July celebrate family fun and the freedom to save with your Valley Chevy dealers. It all starts with spectacular offers available now at the Valley Chevy July 4th event. You'll have the freedom to choose from an extensive lineup ready for all adventures ahead, including popular models like the legendary Silverado with four powerful engine choices. The Road Trip ready Equinox blending first class comfort with intuitive tech and the feature packed Chevy Trax with undeniable value. No matter how you celebrate the 4th of July, it's always better in a Chevy. But don't miss out. Visit a Valley Chevy dealer near you today.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com if I told you I had an idea for a project and said to you, in order to finish the project, We've got about 10 steps to go through and seven or eight of them are time consuming and could ruin the entire thing. Doug Hopkins, he offers you cash for your home as is right now, and that process is over. He doesn't change that price or you get $5,000 guaranteed, your house is sold. Start the process online right now@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins Hol's morning sickness.

[Brady]

It happened at 4am she was pending.

[John Holmberg]

A letter at 6am 6am she's ready. I need to move in with Juno's this guy. So we went to the closet, peed all over her clothes and to me I told her too. I think this, this didn't help the reconciliation. Although I got back in there once. That's why she wrote the letters, like, I can't live without that. I told her, I said he was mad enough at you that he's always wanted to pee on your clothes and the alcohol was his excuse to do it. You don't get so drunk ever to sit back and go, oh, I was out of control. It's something you've always wanted to do. That's why when drunk guys walk up to their bosses, they go, I want to tell you something. It isn't the alcohol. It's what's been stirring around in their sober brain for a long time. The alcohol says, go do it.

[Brady]

It's been called the truth serum.

[John Holmberg]

It's, it's sort of a truth serum. It's more of an inhibitions releaser. You're not necessarily telling the truth because you're babbling, you know, but you're Saying.

[Brady]

Stuff that you normally wouldn't say.

[John Holmberg]

Extreme amounts of racism usually pop out of people. And you're like, oh, he's been harboring that for a long time. That's how I know who. A real racist versus somebody who's like, not, you know, like me. Like a bigot towards all people, whites included. But I've never been so drunk that I just start shouting out slurs and all that stuff. This song will always make me laugh. But, yeah, she had that. And, you know, that's a rough way to wake up. Is that the guy you're with after you're with an angel like me? Wakes you up with a murder threat and then pisses on your clothes.

[Brady]

Sleeps off for a little bit. Good morning, honey. How are you?

[John Holmberg]

Why is it smelling here? Oh, did I get so drunk I pissed all over your outfits? Yes. I don't know what I was doing. He knew what he was doing. And then sober him's like, oh, I can't believe I actually did it. Been thinking about it.

[Brady]

I said that.

[John Holmberg]

And then you act like you didn't know. But when you're a pedophilic burglar and you blame the alcohol, it's not the alcohol's fault. If alcohol did that, it would happen all the time. There's a lot of drunk people every day. They'd be like, oh, alcohol makes you a pedophile sometimes. Nope, you've been drunk too. Blitzed. Been with Brett when he's staggering. Brett's weird about getting drunk because he turns a little bit into, like a mummy. I knew Brett doesn't get stagger around screaming drunk. Brett gets that. I've killed a lot of people drunk. Yeah, that kind of thing. Where he just kind of gets. He's like, oh, he's like silent witness over there. He just stays quiet. Whatever happens around him happens. I remember I was at a wedding with Brett. Single swinging dick. Brett was there, and I didn't know as he was as drunk as he was. And there was a chick at this wedding that was. Everybody's like, brett, congratulations. You are back on this. This is. You are going to hose for hours. This chick's totally in. Brett's hands were down to his side, and he's just kind of. He looked like a buoy. He was just kind of bobbing around a little bit like, I don't think Brett's here anymore. No, he's pretty much gone. And this girl's climbing on him like a jungle gym. Next day, I'm like, how was that? I. I Just went right to bed. I didn't touch it. You got in the car with Ted the next day and threw up all the way home. But I've seen you super drunk and you never once said, let's go to a playground. Because alcohol doesn't do that to you. You're already in somebody's clothes. You're already a pedophile before the drinking. You just haven't acted on it yet. And the alcohol is the key to creepy that unlocked that door. Alcohol does not cause the problem. You were the problem and then you decided to combine the two. But pedophile burglar, I don't care about burglar part.

[Brady]

What a combo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, everything you can say, what a combo. You put pedophile before anything. It's what a combo. There's only one that matters. Pedophile murderer is the only one worse. You know, takes out his victims.

[Brady]

But originally I was there to steal.

[John Holmberg]

But then I wandered into a bedroom. Seeing as how I'm multitasking, I'm also a pedophile. And there was a four year old. So I put down the Hummels and I went and tried to. And then the dad came in and started to fight me. Violence in front of children. How dare you. And that's where you have to just check the lady on next door. There was a couple of them who, who had the problem with the dad violently removing him and you know, people saying you should have shot him in the head. Oh, violence in front of a four year old. That's a good. It was like. Did you hear what they call this guy? The pedophile burglar. You want your, you don't think, you think it's worse that your kid saw some violence to fight off a pedophile than it would have been? What are you supposed to go open the door for him and call him out like a puppy? Come on, let's go outside. No pedophilia inside. I still say shooting.

[Brady]

I mean, if I had time.

[John Holmberg]

I do too.

[Brady]

If I had time to say, hey, cover your eyes. Earmuffs. Daddy's gotta get to work here real quick.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I gotta start throwing some sharp bows.

[Brady]

We're go in the other room.

[John Holmberg]

Let me take the pedophile burglar out of your room. Huns buns. Daddy. Oh no, no, no, no. Violence doesn't solve a thing with the pedophile burglar. If you're in my house and I don't expect you in my house and it's like 2 in the morning, I'm going to assume you're a pedophile burglar. Game over. I'm making the worst assumption ever. And thanks to the news, I now can with a title. Uh, oh, got one of those pedophilic burglars in the house. And the guy's just there. No, no, no. I'm not a pedophile. I'm like, yeah, I don't trust you. I'm just a burglar. Not tonight. Just because there's no kids here. Always assume it's a pedophile burglar and rid them of the world. They're from the world.

[Brady]

Get more when he's in jail, it's like, could have had a Picasso, but if it wasn't for that four year old.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, really got distracted in that. That millionaire art collector's house. Being a burglar, that's hard enough, but add in the pedophile part, there's some real, you know, I gotta stay focused. Damn it. I see a crib. I'm never gonna get all these Venus de Milos out of here. Yeah, that guy needs to just drop the burglar part from his card. You know, nobody ever puts like, rapist, accountant. You're no longer an accountant anymore. You trumped it. You searched. Whatever. The second thing is, I'm a murderer. Firefighter. Oh, eh, not a firefighter anymore. This the worst. It's, you know, it's like having a minor in college. I majored in psychology. I minored in communications. Shut the up. Who cares what you aren't gonna do. It was my second. I don't care. Shush, shush, shush, shush. Majored in pedophilia, minored in burglary a little bit. So I dabble. I dabble. Yeah. Pedophilia in front of anything, you're pretty much done. So this dude. Yeah, they had him. They finally caught him. They had him on video all over the house. I'm happy for, you know, literally not a lot of people got hurt. Except I'm unhappy that the pedophile burglar isn't hurt worse. Like at least break an arm, do something to the guy while he's climbing the fence. Take a bat. You gotta have a bat or a golf club or something. He needs a. You need to whack him one time. 12 gauge. Yeah. You know. Oh, okay. So I guess your. Your child learns that if someone breaks into his room that the only way to solve that is through some type of violence. You're right. Absolutely. Yep. Anybody breaks into your room and you. You try to be a pacifist at that time. Guess what? You're going to become a victim quickly. I tried to talk him out of it, but there was just no reasoning with the pedophile burglar. You hear yourself, dumbass? Imagine that. Crazy. It's just bananas.

[Brady]

Wait. Thank God we got him because. Yeah, it's been like the Paradise Valley. The 138 houses have been terrorized in pedophile and pedophiled.

[John Holmberg]

I like I said that you can't pedophile a house, but I see what you're going with.

[Brady]

It's a new description.

[John Holmberg]

They even care. Like, would you even report that he broke into our house? They touched my son. There's also a few things missing. It's like, oh, wait a minute. Well, really. I checked. After the sun got pedophiled, as Brady says, I went around. I got my PlayStation 2, by the way. He's pretty pissed off. He's a pedophile and a burglar. You don't care about what got stolen. There's only one thing that matters here, stupid. Yeah, your business car says pedophile slash anything. You're not the anything part. I'm a world renowned oncologist slash pedophile. Oh, okay. We don't care about your cancer research anymore. I'm an actor. Can I take your order, please? I'm a pedophile actor. Can I start you guys off with some drinks? What? What, what? What? I like to act, but I'm waiting tables. That's what actors. Actors are always. Anyway, so I ask of. I ask of our jail listeners just one thing. Don't cut him any breaks for being a burglar. Don't trip. Just, you know what to do. You. You boys know what to do. Sending the sisters in after him when the pedophiles burglars show up to the cell. You boys know how to handle it. And then next door, app lady who's got a problem with, you know, not trying to call in a social worker and chat down the situation with the pedophile burglar. Just know this. The justice inside those gray walls. That's what most of us are feeling. And that guy's not gonna make it through much jail as a pedophile burglar. And how dare you, pedophile burglar disparage the good name of alcohol by trying to make that the reason why you have these feelings. That has nothing to do with it. I had three drinks last night watching baby reindeer and never once thought this is a good idea. Alcohol doesn't make you do bad things that you didn't already want to do. Certainly isn't any creation or excuse for pedophilia or burglary, for that matter. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.