07-03-25 - Prank At British Office Has Us Remembering Some Of Our All Time Great Pranks We've Pulled And John's Love For Pranking The Scottish - BO

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 07-03-25 - Prank At British Office Has Us Remembering Some Of Our All Time Great Pranks We've Pulled And John's Love For Pranking The Scottish - BO Release Date: July 3, 2025 Host: John Holmberg Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Introduction to Workplace Pranks

In this episode of Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, Holmberg's Morning Sickness, John Holmberg and his co-hosts delve into the world of practical jokes, particularly those played within the workplace. The discussion highlights both the camaraderie fostered by such pranks and the potential pitfalls when they go too far.

The Infamous British Office Prank

John opens the conversation by sharing a particularly elaborate prank he admired from a British office. In this scenario, new employees are introduced to the company with a series of light-hearted jokes as part of their initiation. However, one prank stands out for its emotional impact:

"They put a fake podcast on a computer, and when she comes back from lunch, they're all gathered around the computer. They whip up fake tears... Russia just nuked D.C." (04:00)

This prank involved a fabricated emergency broadcast about a nuclear attack, leading to genuine distress for the new employee whose family resided in Washington, D.C. The prank was so convincing that it spiraled into legal troubles for the company when the employee filed a formal complaint for emotional distress.

Reactions and Consequences of Extreme Pranks

John and co-host Eric discuss the fine line between a memorable prank and one that causes real harm:

Eric: "What are the odds you hit bullseye that the family is from." (05:53)

John reflects on the unpredictability of such pranks, emphasizing the importance of knowing your audience:

"The bigger your reaction, the better the joke is... But no, no one can take the reveal and be happy that it didn't happen." (06:00)

The conversation underscores the risks associated with pranks that delve into personal and emotional territories, potentially leading to lawsuits and damaged relationships.

Comparing Past and Present Pranks

The hosts reminisce about the "good old days" when practical jokes were more widely accepted and even expected in various workplaces. They reference anecdotes from John’s time at Tony Roma's, where pranks like watering plastic plants or creating fake tasks (e.g., "baked potato soup") were common.

John: "Practical jokes are beautiful. Hazing was fun until people started getting hurt." (15:03)

Brady adds his perspective on how the modern workplace environment has shifted, making such pranks less feasible due to increased legal awareness and sensitivity toward emotional well-being.

Personal Prank Stories from the Hosts

The episode features several personal stories from John and Eric about the pranks they've orchestrated:

1. Meeting at the Mall: John recounts repeatedly misleading his Scottish friend Thomas to different locations within the mall, culminating in Thomas walking aimlessly:

   "He's sitting there, talking... immersed in the prank, and in the end, no real harm done." (34:07)

2. Household Pranks: In a more personal setting, John describes placing dog waste in toilets and sabotaging air conditioners, leading to humorous yet inconvenient situations for friends:

   "They got home to rotting dog poop in all their toilets... That's the good one." (37:04)

3. Seat Heater Prank: John details a prank where he secretly turned on the seat heaters in a friend's car, causing discomfort and confusion:

   "Every time you prank a Scotsman, they end with, 'you bastard.'" (37:04)

These stories illustrate the hosts' creativity in pulling off pranks that are disruptive yet not malicious.

Reflection on the Decline of Practical Jokes

As the conversation progresses, the hosts express nostalgia for an era when pranks were a staple of workplace culture. They lament the current environment where legal repercussions and heightened emotional sensitivity have curtailed such playful interactions.

John: "Practical jokes are dead... People have to be less uptight about this stuff. This is too good. And practical jokes dying. And they're so fun." (09:45)

Brady and Eric discuss how modern workplaces prioritize professionalism and legal safety over the lightheartedness that pranks bring, making it challenging to maintain the same spirit of camaraderie.

Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg (04:00): "They put a fake podcast on a computer... and the nukes are on the way, and the whole world is coming to an end."

• Eric (05:53): "What are the odds you hit bullseye that the family is from."

• John Holmberg (15:03): "Practical jokes are beautiful. Hazing was fun until people started getting hurt."

• John Holmberg (09:45): "Practical jokes are dead... People have to be less uptight about this stuff."

Conclusion

Holmberg's Morning Sickness episode from July 3, 2025, offers a candid exploration of practical jokes, blending humorous anecdotes with thoughtful reflections on their place in modern society. John Holmberg and his co-hosts provide listeners with a mix of laughter and introspection, highlighting both the joys and risks associated with workplace pranks.

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Tune In: Stay entertained and up-to-date by tuning into Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), the 98KUPD app, or www.98kupd.com every weekday from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM.

Transcript

[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness time once again to talk to you about this week's pick of the litter. Lost Our Home pet rescue is where I go and I got to say thanks to our friends at Turf Monsters AZ.com this week we're going to focus once again on Chai and Noah, a little bonded pair. They're adorable three and five year old little terrier mix type dogs. You got to see them. They're best friends and they will make your house better. They like other dogs too, so it's a perfect match. They wear those adoption fees. If Chai and Noah are right for you, they're this week's pick of the litter brought to you by turfmonstersaz.com this.

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[John Holmberg]

The Best of H's Morning Sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. I combing through my British websites of information. I have no idea why I do this. I'm fascinated by the two or three British news sources that I follow and one of them showed this. I think, look, the days of practical jokes are pretty gone, especially at work. There's been a few great practical jokes at work that have we of course infamously did a fake drug test here. Right down with actors and everything else. That was one of my favorite things that's ever happened in this building. The day after Eric text me I got hi for the first time in forever. It was awesome. And then the next morning we put it together in an hour to have Brady's friend Doug come down pretend to be a drug testing doctor in our bathrooms. And we had the announcement in an email that came out, we're going to do drug testing. Anyone caught with a positive test is immediately terminated. Your guy came down and folks were sweating and people were sweating. And so you go in, you take the test and everything else. When it came to Eric's turn. The best part was opening that bathroom door or having the bathroom door open. And our friend who was playing the part of the doctor said, he just offered me $4. That's a bribe. He had $4. And he tried to get the doctor off his back. He tried. We tried to get him to pee in the urinal in the cup next to the doctor. Yeah, $4. And then he said, if you give. And Doug even said, if you give me the four bucks, we'll call this. And he gave him the money. And then Doug said, He gave me $4. That's a bribe. And then. And then you just hear, oh, God. And he collapsed and started to cry on the dirty, dirty Guadalupe bathroom floor. Great practical joke. A great one. A great one. Now, lawsuits, lawyers, emotional stress. The management shouldn't have allowed it. And our managers were in on that. Lots of stuff like that. Well, this one in England, I think, is one of the greatest ideas for a practical joke ever. And everyone in the office, because the CEO and the manager are behind, it's a small company, and so they. With a new person, they always practical joke them in, right? So this lady goes to their new. Their new job. I don't remember what the company's called, but she goes to work. She's there. They introduce her. Showing around, you know, it's copier. This is where you go to this. A lot of coffee over here. And then at 11:30, whatever, tea time, time to go. You go do your thing. See you in an hour. By all means, enjoy your lunch. All right. She leaves. They put a fake podcast on a computer, and when she comes back from lunch, they're all gathered around the computer. They whip up fake tears. They have a few things going on. What's going on? Russia just nuked D.C. and they've got a fake podcast playing of the horrors that are going on right now in Washington, D.C. and the nukes are on the way, and the whole world is. It's coming to an end, right? So they've got this convincing pseudo podcast that's going, she comes back in, well, this late, and they've done it to a few of them. Everybody's in on it. Everybody's had it done. It's a rite of passage. Everybody in the office has had this prank pulled on them, and so far, so good. Well, what they didn't realize was her entire family lives in Washington, D.C. she's gone, like, lost it. Emotionally disastrous. It's over. Doesn't take time to listen to the podcast. Like oh, what's going on?

[Eric]

Let's just leave.

[John Holmberg]

Lost it. Lost her mind. Freaked the f out. They're having a good time with that. I didn't know she didn't just announce my family's there. She just turns into a big puddle. Jello's up crying her eyes out, crawling around, just emotionally so distraught that so after the laughs kind of subsides, like, okay, it's okay. It's okay. We do this to everybody who's here. And then she reveals that the whole family's in D.C. and why did you do this? And this isn't funny. And so now it's a not funny. Well, guess what? In England, she's filed a formal complaint against the entire office. And there's going to be some lawsuits and some workers. I don't know how they do it over there, but you're going to get some money. They're going to owe her for emotional distress. She can't just take the joke.

[Eric]

Come on, you hit. I mean, again, I think the risk of the practical joke.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious.

[Eric]

What are the odds you hit bullseye that the family is from.

[John Holmberg]

And as the jokey, you have to take that into consideration too. What are the odds they knew my whole family's in D.C. they didn't know, man, you bastards got me. That's essentially what the practical joke is. You're the bigger your reaction, the more it does get you, the better the joke is. And then when it's revealed and you realize nothing happened, you go on about your day calling. You guys are dicks, like, you told. And you're more embarrassed that your reaction was so ugly cry than anything else. But no, no one can take the reveal and. And be happy that it didn't happen. Now they're victims and say, oh, it's all because you hurt me. It's like, no, he didn't. You're fine. Nothing happened.

[Eric]

Interesting that you didn't even try to. I mean, what would you do if that happened? I'd be on the phone calling my relatives in Washington just to say, is this real? You know, like, maybe they survived or.

[John Holmberg]

Most people would probably have that. Yeah. First things first. Let's see if they're okay, let alone a podcast. Right, Right. But they did that just. And just to have. If you walked into a room and everybody's in tears and hugging, you're like, what's going on? They're nuking America. You know, us is getting nuked right now. What? And then you turn it up for a second. The first thing I think we'd all do is like, wait a minute, what are you talking about? And then you'd listen to the thing for a minute. And as convincing as the podcast can be, I think it's one of the best practical jokes ever. It doesn't even have to be nukes. It can just be some insane under attack that's happened now you gotta consider. She just thought, there's a bunch of people in London, America's under attack. So your brain's like, are we next? You didn't realize that she's all from there and stuff. And so they knew she had American ties. They didn't know it was all D.C. like, her whole thing. I think it's a great joke, but, yeah, she's. They basically said.

[Eric]

Well, it still has to go.

[John Holmberg]

It's going to court, they're gonna get in trouble. I don't know if it goes to court, they're gonna get fines, they're gonna get. Somebody's getting paid, people are getting money, and there's gonna be some reprimanding. It says, guys at work always do a prank on the starters. And then it's just the way it's been. And then at the end, everybody goes, oh, my God, that was terrible. And then we. We're all having fun and hilarious. I. And the guy who said this is. I'm not the ringleader of this, but I do participate. And when it was done the other day, we had no idea the family was in Washington, D.C. and they basically said, it's a bomb. And the new. In the podcast, the quote was, the whole city's been obliterated. There are no survivors. So they were saying it like, don't even bother calling. They were wiping the place out, but they didn't think she needed to call anybody. So luckily the manager came in and calmed her down and got her into a relaxed state and then she was left. She called the police immediately on her co workers. She felt unsafe. And then the guy says, I'm really scared because it wasn't my idea, but, man, did I ever join in. And I'm screwed. I'm really worried about what's going to happen next. It says the company's going to have to prepare itself with legal counsel. The woman has every right to escalate the situation, seek damages, and instead of having to laugh at the new person's expense, they're going to probably all be reprimanded or at least potentially fired, but at least punished. That's a funny prank.

[Brady]

Couple days off.

[John Holmberg]

That is a funny prank. Oh, yeah. I don't care what anybody says at the end of a practical joke, so long as no one's actually hurt. Because then it's not a practical joke anymore. Then it's just a painfully realistic joke if someone's bleeding or injured. Not a joke anymore. But if you can dick around with somebody's brain and manipulate them like a puppet for a couple minutes and then let them off the hook, that's like that. You gotta. People have got to be less uptight about this stuff. This is too good. And practical jokes dying. And they're so fun.

[Eric]

Punk and back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, punks. We love watching them. It's like there's things that people get in their cars towed and you feel emotional distress. Like the one that they did on Punk where they took the guy's dog and they wouldn't and he was out of his mind, and they're like, okay, we gotta go out there and get this. So you don't mess with people's living creatures, kids, family, whatever. But they were taking this guy's dog in his car and they. People just lost it. And then you realize, oh, you son of a bitch. You got me. There's no more. You got me. The new. The new world is no. There's no you got me. And remember, office breaks used to be kind of fun. I used to do it all the time at Tony Roma's. And I bet you it's emotionally distressing now, but all the new busboys that would come in, I'm like, what are you doing? And I'm a 20 year old manager, so there's no reason, like, they looked at me like one of them. I was five years older than most of them, like, what the hell are you doing? What? You do this on your first day, you're gonna let me down this badly? What's going on? These plants. Didn't anybody tell you to water these plants every hour? You know, dead plants all over the place, you moron. And it was at the busiest times, and I'd get them a little pitcher of water. I'm like, go water the goddamn plants and don't let me your one job tonight. You're the new. This is ridiculous. Somebody told you that, right? I don't remember. I'm sorry. Every one of them reacted the same way. And every one of them was out there just pouring water on a whole load of plastic, crappy plants that had no, like, root system or they need moisture. They're just pouring water. And the customers were always the one that said, hey, son Those are plastic. Huh? He told me, I gotta water these. There's nothing better than a 15 year old or 16 year old kid. Dumb as a stump. They're not smart, not one of them, not a zero. You can fool them easily.

[Eric]

Still work today?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, probably.

[Brady]

It would still work even better nowadays, these morons.

[John Holmberg]

But there were a couple that came back. It was a dick move, bro. It was a dick move. And just, you know, have them walk around. Oh, I baked potatoes basement in the.

[Eric]

Old building that never had a basement. Oh yeah, we need some files. Will you go get them?

[John Holmberg]

And that's easy.

[Eric]

They're not going to wandering around for 25 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

One of them backfired really bad at Tony Romas because I told it was wasn't very busy and the new kid was there and I told him, I said these idiots like, what are you doing? And I put a full baked potato in some water in a bowl and I'm buttering the baked potato, but I haven't cut it open. Buttering it and I'm seasoning the water. He goes, what are you doing? And I'm like, baked potato soup. He's like, what? I'm like, this idiot wants a baked potato soup. And he's what is that? Like you're looking at it. I'm like, go give it to him. And he goes out to the tail. I said, I don't want to see this guy ever again. He's pissing me off. Go give it to him. And he walks out with potato and a bowl of water. Here's your baked potato soup, sir. And the old man's like, is this some sort of joke? Kid's like, what? Is this some sort of joke? What's wrong with you? You baked potato soup, sir. I was told to bring it to this table. This isn't baked potato. It's a baked potato in water. You piece of. He lost it. This old man going, I want to talk to the manager. I want to talk to everybody. Almost wanting sickness.

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com if I told you I had an idea for a project and said to you, in order to finish the project, We've got about 10 steps to go through, and seven or eight of them are time consuming and could ruin the entire thing. Doug Hopkins, he offers you cash for your home as is right now, and that process is over. He doesn't change that price or you get $5,000 guaranteed. Your house soul. Start the process online right now@dough hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins. 1, 800, now. In the time it takes you to actually board a flight from Group 8 now boarding Premier altitude elite club members. You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Limited availability pickup through participating Hyundai dealer and select markets. Holmberg's morning sickness. So I had to go out there and, like, was there something wrong? He brought me this. I'm like, I cannot bully kid. You know, we can't get any good kids at all. I'm so sorry. This is unreasonable. He's very new. Yeah, we should consider letting him go. I walked away. I'm like, you're an idiot. I might have to fire you. I don't want to get. What did I do? Like, that's not me. And then we all went back in the kitchen and laughed. Kids got tears in his eyes and like, see? Welcome to the team, you idiot.

[Eric]

Sir, would an onion loaf make this go away?

[John Holmberg]

But the old man was not happy with. With the joke. We. We played it and we. We included an. An unknown. And then I went back and told him, like, well, we were playing a little joke on the new kid. We told him to bring that to you. We didn't expect you to get upset. We're sorry. I bought him all this stuff. Not good. Not a good note. It's not a quality. It's not professional. Like, all right, well, you can all day.

[Brady]

I'm 20 ribs.

[John Holmberg]

I don't need this. Yeah, you want to get punched in the face, old man? You're cruising for it. But, yeah, but those days are over because now the. Not only that, the customer would probably call a lawyer. They gave me a rancid baked potato that had E. Coli on it. And the busboy would lose his mind. His parents would get involved. And practical jokes are beautiful. Hazing Was fun until people started getting hurt. Yeah, it's just this guy said, my husband was in the Navy or lady. And they get the newbies to get buckets of steam for them to fix the boilers. It was amazing how many idiots would try to figure out how to get a bucket of steam over to another guy. Go get the steam, goddammit. These things are dying. But it just doesn't, you know, it's just ridiculous. It's a stupid world we live in where every other practical joke, I don't think I've ever had a good one pulled on me. I don't think I've ever been in a you got me thing. I might have watered the plants at Tony Roma's, which is where it happened, but I think I. I don't know. But pranks are dead and people will sue. And if you're a person who gets suey after a practical joke, no matter how good it is, and I highly recommend, if you've got a new person in the office, that whole nukes thing, that's a good one. That's a really good one. Dummy up a podcast and have that thing going on a computer.

[Eric]

It's a pretty easy sell.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. And that's the scary part is it's like that doesn't seem so far fetched, but everybody's emotional. Megan told me that there's a person that she knows that her. At her work. The lady came in and said, I'm not gonna work today because I'm not on my anxiety medicine. So everybody gets a day off. She showed up to tell everybody.

[Eric]

Well, that was nice of her.

[John Holmberg]

I can't. I can't function. You can't get over it. That was the olden times. You go in and you felt like crap or you're having an anxious day or the world's collapsing around you and you had to work. Now you just go in and that's those wellness days that were invented by ladies. I'm fine. I just don't feel like it today. That's not. That's not a thing. It's mental health. I know. We all have it. We have to. The whole point of it is, let's get through this and then we'll deal with it after work. I can't get my job done. Well, then you're fired. Like that's getting. Yeah. Truck drivers, cops, firefighters, military guys. None of them can go, I'm having a rough day. I'm gonna take the war off today.

[Eric]

Well, there was a. I think it was a Wisconsin. There Was a fire, and they were called to it, and the two firefighters started fighting.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's different. It was different. Just a couple assholes didn't get along.

[Eric]

Yeah, we need someone else.

[John Holmberg]

One dude needs to be in House 13 in the next couple of weeks. Yeah, it's. Practical jokes are dead. But, man, oh, man, do I ever want to do the. And I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll host the podcast if you guys want to put it together and give me a couple bucks. I'll definitely put a podcast together about the nukes falling, Whatever city you want them in. Give me a couple bullet points, some things to. To throw out there. And I'll do that, because that's one of my. That is one of the best practical jokes I've read about. And then, of course, it doesn't end with everybody laughed. The new person was, like, felting. And that was the thing about practical jokes that used to be great. You felt included. After it was all over, you felt like, oh, these guys actually are. Are letting me in. If you're not part of the practical jokes, if you're not part of the fun.

[Eric]

We've got someone down on the scene. Let's go to them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's really hot.

[Eric]

My skin's sloughing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we did one a long time ago. It was a little out of hand where we had a fake listener bothering a radio guy, and she kind of fell in love with him. And we would write letters as the fake listener to this guy and say, if you don't, I'm gonna be at this location on Thursday at, like, 7. I need you to meet me. And please, if you don't come, I'm gonna kill myself. And it was always. No, it was always. He just pointed to Larry. It wasn't there. It was. And we. Her name. I don't even know if her name's the best one. Her name was dolorosa suicidio, which means painful suicide in Spanish at this building.

[Brady]

Or the other building.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And we would do it to a couple of people, try to get them to go visit that. But we'd always pick a time where they had something to do, right? So it was like he has an event or something. So it'd be like. Like, if you have eos tonight, it would be. You'd get the letter that said, seriously, Brad, I've fallen in love with you. You're my favorite person in the world. My life's gone to hell. You're the only thing that keeps me alive. Listening to you, you're my inspiration. I'm going to be at The Applebee's on 7th street in Camelback at 5:00'. Clock. And if you don't show up, I'm gonna kill myself. We got an event at 5. I gotta go to Eos. Losing his mind. And then we just laugh for half an hour. Oh God. Oh God. Another letter. A couple days later I contemplated suicide. But I understand you were busy. You can make it up to me today at noon. I'm gonna be at blah blah. I can't do it. I'm at work. I gotta. Oh my God. You're just letting me down left and right. And the poor guy had so much empathy. We, by the way, just let it kind of go away. Dolorosa just died. Faded. Yeah, well, Dolorosa probably hung herself now. Was that a bridge too far? Sure, I know, but were we in the other room laughing like crazy?

[Eric]

You know, it's just a skosh over the line.

[John Holmberg]

Not really, no. Nobody got hurt.

[Eric]

Again, you're thinking you'd know it from the get go with just the name.

[John Holmberg]

Would you have known Dolorosa Suicidio? Yeah, I mean, but it's like she.

[Brady]

But when you think about it.

[John Holmberg]

And by the way, the first letter we wrote was that she was from Mexico, she learned English from the radio. Like the whole thing was about like how important he was to her. And we knew the dude would fall for it and he kind of did. It was awesome. And still to this day, this is 27 years ago, to this day, we sit and talk about Dolosa. I wonder what Dolorosa's doing today. I wonder where she's hanging around, you know. But it was. Cause he was fun to mess with all sorts of stuff, you know. He also had a pack of condoms in his desk drawer that we would go through after he left and we would take the condoms and open one and put back the package. He wasn't allowed to go, all right, who's been messing with my rubbers at work? So we just waited for them, right? Why are they there? Why do you have rubbers at your desk? But he did. Oh, we had some fun on that one. But that's fun. And at the end, if he just said, ah, they said we'd have let him off the hook. But you know, it got a little bit like the letters were so flowery and beautiful. God, I was good at writing those. I was Dolorosa Suicidio. And I think that's. We looked it up before it was pre Internet we didn't know if we had to look. Hard to find painful in Spanish. And I think it's dolorosa or something close, which is where we came up with. And then we kind of changed it up. Like, my friends call me Dolly. So it was like getting away from all the language of the painful suicide as the name. And you don't mention, hi, I'm Dolorosa Suicidio. She just signed it Dolorosa Suicidio. Oh, it was good stuff. Did anyone go to jail? Were there lawyers and cops involved?

[Eric]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, you ordered pizza with your group of guys for that dead girl. Did anyone go to. That was horrible. Did anyone go. Doesn't it work? No, just. No. There's been a few. There's been a few. This guy says, I'm a fire sprinkler fitter here. We get apprentices looking for pipe stretchers, the skyhooks, henways. What's a henway? Four or five pounds. Yeah, we would make. This guy says, I worked at Fry's. We made the new people shake off all the salad dressings at night so the oil would separate. So they go through the aisles and just shake. That's a great one. Yeah. And people have catfished. This one says, I'm torn on this one, John. I do enjoy a good laugh and silliness of a practical joke, but on the other hand, money. And that's what it's come down to. People have figured out how to sue over a practical joke. If someone gets hurt, that's not it. But emotionally hurt from a practical joke. No, don't. Don't go crying to therapists and everything else. In fact, if you're a good therapist, you'll say, hey, it sounds like you're. A new group of people are welcoming you in. They're letting you be one of the crew. Now, if it's an everyday thing where they're just. Now you're just a target, and then you got something but one practical joke. It's got to be a pattern. But they're gonna. Everybody's gonna lose their job.

[Eric]

I told you about the one I knew, the guy, that news buddy went to a sushi restaurant and he had another person call. As the restaurant said, we had an outbreak, some bad fish, and we need to test people to make sure that you didn't catch the bacterial infection that you're testing positive for. So we need you to take a stool sample, put it in Tupperware, and drop it off at the police department. And they. The guy went up to the Building.

[John Holmberg]

With the Tupperware with poop to the.

[Eric]

To the police station.

[John Holmberg]

That's a great one.

[Eric]

And he says, the guy up front, what do you.

[John Holmberg]

I'm here, drop off my, My sample.

[Eric]

Yeah, my sample.

[John Holmberg]

That's a great one. That's a really good. My friend Stebbings, he shared a room with me a few years ago in Vegas because I had a two bedroom suite and he was only up there for a day with his wife. And at the end of the dinner on a, he was leaving on a Saturday night, so we had dinner Saturday night and he goes, I'm gonna go pack up and get out of here. Thanks for everything, blah, blah. Goes to the room. And in the room there are these big pots, these decorative pots and they're filled with river rocks and plants. And so he took all the river rocks and he put them under the comforter in the bed. So even when you pulled your sheets back, when you get in bed, it was more rocks than bed. And it was awful. And I walked in and the heat was up to like 82. He toilet papered the room. So all the obvious pranks were like, ahahaha. The good one was the rocks in the bed. And I'm like, oh you son of a bitch, I'm drunk and spending all that time putting rocks back where they go. I'm laughing, I'm like, you got me. That's a good one, right? But two weeks later he has the nerve to call me and this is like end of July, maybe August, he has the nerve to call me and say, hey, dog sitter can't come to the house today. We're running late coming back from San Diego. Can you keep an eye on the dogs? I'm like, you betcha. Went to his house immediately. Air is going off, they're coming back to a hot box, air goes off. And he had a mastiff and a lab. The mastiff, Chloe was 160 pounds, the lab, Rudy's probably 100 pounds. And the dog sitter for the week they were in San Diego didn't clean any poop, not at all. So I took it upon myself to scoop up all the poop in the backyard and put it in every toilet in their four bathroom house and just leave it there while the house heated up. They got home eating burritos and walked in the door and it was just rotting dog poop in all their toilets. And I mean, I filled them up to where a flush was going to be. Questionable morning sickness. And I just remember right here I said, are you Guys home yet? Yeah, we're about five minutes out. Thanks for everything. You bet. Never forget you put rocks in my bed. Huh? And then they found out. And a few minutes later Matthew, his son, walked in. He goes, this is bull. Kick his ass. Come on over here, Matthew. It was great. That's the good ones. I like those. Those are good jokes. That was really the only time that, you know, Mark got me. Was not a terribly gifted joke, but it was good. The nuke joke on the podcast, that's pretty stuff.

[Eric]

I had a similar out of town one. I went out of town, a friend said he'd watch my fish. I had an aquarium, salt water. His prank was to turn the heat up too. And cooked all my fish.

[John Holmberg]

Killed your fish.

[Eric]

See people About a thousand dollars.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. That's not funny. That's that somebody got hurt.

[Eric]

It wasn't a prank.

[John Holmberg]

If things. Just didn't know if things die. I had a prank once where my friend's wife was pretty hot so I banged her quietly for like a year. And then I didn't tell anybody. And then the big reveal like haha, you got him. I got, I got you.

[Eric]

Top that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you can't do those kinds of things. It is weird though, so. But now you do it and you're done. Yeah. Yes. Remember in the movie Jackass when they showed that guy. That was the best practical joke I've ever seen in my life. When they told the one guy that he. He got into the cab and they glued pubes to his face and he was supposed to say he had and he had to play the character. And he gets in this cab and the cab driver in the middle of it thinks he's a terrorist and starts just puts a bag over his head, blindfolds him and then just starts driving him around that and he was in terror. Like it was horrible. No, no, it's a joke. It's a joke. It's joke. It's not a joke to me. And just destroyed this guy's life. That is a lawsuit. But that was so funny. I was in the theater pissing myself. But we can't do it anymore. This one said my parents played a prank on me once. I was 10. They replaced that War of the Worlds on. Or they put the War of the Worlds on their radio, disconnected all the cable, packed up military bags and played the entire thing that we were under attack from aliens. I was 10. They were probably getting called to go into war is what they said. I was so scared. I was asking if we were Going to be okay. About an hour later, they revealed the whole thing's a joke. That's kind of a mean thing to do, but at least 10 year olds can't sue you. Yeah.

[Brady]

Weren't there people losing their minds over that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They didn't know. I mean, radio was new. Yeah, you think? Think now. Think about what everybody says now. Well, the Internet's so full of misinformation and people don't know where to get there. Think about how susceptible people have always been to this dumb box of idiots like me telling you stuff and take it with a grain of salt. But back then, there was no reason to believe the radio could lie to you. You assumed decent people were on the other end and weren't going to try to take advantage of you. The bad thing about War of the Worlds was before it, they said it was a joke. It's all art coming up here for this show, right? They didn't do it in the middle, but they told you in the beginning. If you missed the beginning, the war was with the aliens and it was starting right now.

[Eric]

And I thought they did it at the end as well.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. Don't know. I don't know. Anybody got to it.

[Eric]

The ones that hurt enough, we got to do something about it.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody was just making love one last time to that filthy, unhygienic woman who didn't have tampons yet and didn't understand that shaving was going to be a thing of the future. I'm going to grin and bear it, gut one out and give my lady one last poke. Kids, you're all gonna die today. But yeah, they were stupid, but they fell for it. So people are, you know, we wanna, we wanna believe, but now, now there's pills and psychiatrists and everything else.

[Eric]

They still had to. Didn't they do disclaimers for the West Wing?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the West Wing wasn't a practical joke. They did a thing where there was a nuclear attack and they had to run a scroll. And they picked and chose where it was. New Mexico and Arkansas, where the dumber Americans live. And they ran a scroll at the bottom that said, please don't call NBC. This is fake. This is a television show. Because they started realizing on the east coast people are buying into this a little bit by the time this show gets to the dummies in New Mexico. So New Mexico was the last one that they ran the scroll. Hey, leave us alone. We're not killing anyone. There's no. No real nukes. Oh, my God. Uh. Oh, Is this a practical joke? One the last one?

[Brady]

I believe so.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Oh, no. I don't like how it starts. I was clean up at. At the meat department at a grocery store. I asked a 14 year old. I asked this 14 girl, it says courtesy clerk, to ask the store manager where the fallopian tubes were so I could drain the meat counter. See, that's funny. Hey, go ask the boss where the fallopian tubes are. I got. I gotta drain my meat. Okay, but if you get a practical jump plate on you, just, you know, just roll with it. Roll with it. Have fun. The world is fun. This guy says those in the commercial tire industry, we used to have new guys take summer air out of all the tires and put in winter air. That's fun. That's a good one. But I do like the nuclear holocaust.

[Brady]

When I was back in the shop, you know, working on cars and stuff. Back in the day, we'd send like, the new guy. You know, the old thing was a blinker fluid and muffler bearings and stuff like that. And so nobody ever bought it. But we had this one dummy come in and, hey, man, we need muffler bearings.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, where do I go?

[Brady]

Just go to Autozone, pick it up. We called, we had the Autozone. Hey, this idiot's coming by. Send him over to O'Reilly's.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

We sent him to like four or five different parts stores.

[John Holmberg]

I just remember the time I got Thomas Wells, our Scottish listener because. Hey, Johnny, what are you doing? I'm at the mall. Well, I was at the Chandler Mall and he was at Fashion Square. Oh, Donna and I are at the mall too. She's getting her hair done. Let's have lunch. Like, okay, where you at? I'm like, I'm by the Build a Bear. All right. Or no, it was Rocky Mountain Candy Company. Rocky Mountain Candy Company. All right. And all that is stay put. I'm like, okay. And so he gets to that and he texts me again. Well, the first time I did this to him, I was actually at Fashion Square. And I would leave where I said I was gonna be next time. I was at the mall. I got him again. He says, all right, I'm next to the Kendi Company. Where are you? I'm like, oh, Megan saw something. We went to Pottery Barn. Over to Pottery Barn. Oh, no. That is. Stay there. I'll find you there. I'm like, all right. This dude and I knew the mall well enough. I'm like, all right, he's gonna come this way. We go outside, we go down. We'll go way on the other end. Where are you? You're not a Pottery Barn, you bastard. Like, oh, we went on to Dillard's. I. I forgot I was supposed to meet. You were taking forever. I don't even think you're here. Like, yeah, bastard. Wait, my dad go. And then I just got in the car. I'm texting him now. We went to Charming Charlie's. There's evidently some baubles there. Charming Charlie's on the other side of the mall. You bastard. All right, I know it's a mall. Big deal. Walk it off. Gets to Charming Charlie's, and I get a text. You're not here, are there? You blasted. I got him a lot. Thomas was funny.

[Eric]

He got his 10,000 steps in.

[John Holmberg]

He got a lot of walking in that. And then the other time, I was at Chandler, and he goes, oh, yeah, at the mall. My guy, where are you right now? Send a photo. And I sent him a picture of Dillard's. I'm at Dillard's. All right, this time of minute. Wait, at Dillards. We're getting that. I'll having lunch. You owe me. Like, okay. He goes over to this. You're not a Dillard, you bastard. What have you done? I'm like, I didn't say I was at Fashion Square. Ah, hate you.

[Brady]

This guy said he worked the ramp for America Airlines, and they would have. Or America West Airlines back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

And some of.

[Brady]

Some of the pilots would go up to the new ramp agents and ask where the keys of the plane were.

[John Holmberg]

Damn keys.

[Eric]

Guys got an extra set.

[John Holmberg]

I forgot about the other time I got home. The other time I got Thomas, I had a Volkswagen Touareg, and it was something about the Germans that can make things that heat up humans pretty good. The sea heaters, the sea eaters, were so insanely hot. And Thomas is like, I got. I got a foursome forest at Sunridge Canyon. Sunridge Canyons in Fountain Hills. It is far. And he goes, we'll go out like you. Because I like to play golf in the middle of the day, and summer doesn't bother me. Two of us go out there, we have fun. It's one o' clock start time. Like, it's 112 degrees today. I know, it's horrible. He comes to the house. I'm like, I'll drive. Put your clubs in. And I put his seat heater on the highest level it can go. And I'm like, it's been sitting in the sun. So the seats are hot. Oh, my God. They're right there. They're cooking. And then we start on 44th street and Camelback, drive them all the way, get up to Shea. I took the long route. I took Shea all the way across, and he's sitting there. He's just talking. Ah, Donna and I were at dinner last night. What's going on? These seats won't cool off. It's so hot. Anyway, we're at dinner last night. I was. Good Lord. And he starts to get his feet up in the chair. He's perched up. I can't sit down. Calm down. You're making me nervous. I'm trying to drive over. I don't understand it. It's just seat hot. Like, it's hot, but I'm not a baby about it. Well, it's just so oppressively hot. And he finally sits down. He's squirming around. I can't. I can't get comfortable in this chair. It's just overheating. I'm like, I don't know what's wrong with you? The air conditioner's on. What's going on? I don't know, but I'm burning up. And then he sees the little. The thing you click with all of its orange. Yeah, you got the seat heaters on you, buster. I hit you whole day just bitching and crying about his legs being on fire, and I probably could have hurt him. That seat burned you in the winter. But we were right around, I guess, about 112th and Shea. So all the way from Camelback and 44th street to 112th and Shea, he's dealing with fire ass. And every time you prank a Scotsman, they end with, you bastard. It never ends with anything else. Well, and he didn't sue me. In fact, we were texting the other day, joking around. We're friends still.

[Brady]

A couple of people in the restaurant business have said this one, they make the new guys go back there and drain the hot water out of the coffee machines.

[John Holmberg]

Right? That's a good one. Oh, I love that. Anyway, practical jokes. I do like that one. Get a podcast together. I'm your man. You want me to do it? I won't charge you for the first one, but I will do your nuclear holocaust podcast that you can play for the new guy when he comes back from lunch. I think it's gold. You bastard. Oppressive. My favorite thing was he was literally hands on the side of the seat, feet. He's standing on it. I'm like, will you sit down if I stop fast. Why can't. The seat is so hot. It's oppressively hot. Like it was oppressing his nature to be man. I can't sit in the seat. How you doing it? Like. I don't know. Volkswagen has some issues with the way they design this thing. So sometimes the sun hits it just stays hot. I don't think they were designed for the desert. That's not true. Rommel was a desert fox. These chairmans know about desert warfare. Then he'd get him off on politics. For a second he wasn't so hot. And then he'd start squirming. We could have heard him. Torched him. You Buster? Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. Can you pd.