07-04-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD - BO

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona (July 4, 2025)

Hosted by John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo on 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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Introduction

On this Independence Day episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, host John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo deliver their signature blend of humor, satire, and edgy commentary. The show tackles a variety of topics, intertwining listener interactions, current trends, and personal anecdotes with their irreverent humor.

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Trending Topic: Period Canceling Challenges on TikTok

Timestamp: [01:15] – [06:25]

The episode kicks off with a heated discussion led by Brady Bogen about the controversial TikTok trend aimed at eliminating menstruation using a concoction of jello powder, lemon juice, and ibuprofen. Brady expresses strong disapproval of influencers promoting such potentially harmful practices.

• Brady Bogen: "They're trying to eliminate your period through this elixir of jello powder. It's dangerous and nothing I’m getting involved with." ([02:22])

Listener Alyssa Giacoma, referenced for her viral tutorial, is mocked for promoting the trend with over 1.8 million views. The co-hosts debate the legitimacy and safety of the method, emphasizing the lack of credible evidence and potential health risks.

• Health Expert Input: "The method of drinking jelly powder, lemon juice, and ibuprofen to delay your period is not only scientifically unsupported but also potentially harmful." ([05:46])

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Listener Interaction: Suspicious Massage Parlors

Timestamp: [19:08] – [42:29]

A listener named Stacy emails the show concerned about her husband’s frequent visits to massage establishments in an industrial area. The co-hosts humorously speculate about the legitimacy of these venues, suggesting ulterior motives behind the massages.

• Brady Bogen: "Stacy, your husband is just saving money for the family by going to these massage parlors. Don’t ruin it for him." ([20:07])

The conversation spirals into comedic affirmations of male self-sacrifice, with playful jabs at Stacy's motives and exaggerated praise for her husband’s choices.

• Brady Bogen: "He's making your life easier by getting massages for you. Thank you, Brady." ([20:31])

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Anecdote: Bizarre Bike Ride Encounter

Timestamp: [84:00] – [113:00]

Brady shares an elaborate and humorous story about a bike ride where he encounters a man setting up surveillance—or so he suspects. The narrative blends suspense with over-the-top humor as Brady imagines various scenarios, including crime stings and fetish photography.

• Brady Bogan: "I realized my shoes were untied, and suddenly a guy with a big camera was lurking behind bushes. It was like a movie scene." ([85:06])

The listeners are entertained as Brady navigates his imagination, leading to a mock-serious exploration of mundane activities turning into covert operations.

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News Segment: Satirical Takes on Current Events

Timestamp: [43:34] – [70:39]

The hosts deliver a series of news snippets infused with their characteristic sarcasm and humor. Topics range from a woman named Swastika Chandra being banned from Uber Eats due to her name, to curious scientific findings about microplastics in human bodies.

• John Holmberg: "Swastika Chandra is fighting Uber because they won't deliver her food due to her name. It's over." ([44:33])

• Brady Bogan: "Microplastics found in every human testicle? That's terrifying... not really." ([66:07])

These segments highlight the hosts' ability to turn serious news into comedic material, often exaggerating for humorous effect.

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Interactive Game: Guadalupe Squares

Timestamp: [125:29] – [147:54]

The show features an interactive segment called "Guadalupe Squares," resembling a roulette or trivia game where participants answer questions to earn points. The hosts engage in playful banter, often diverting from the game to inject humor and off-topic jokes.

• Brett Vesely: "The oldest known written recipe was found on a 3,700-year-old stone tablet. True or False?" ([142:29])

• Donald Trump (Guest Appearance): "I agree. That's true." ([144:16])

The segment showcases the hosts' improvisational skills, blending factual questions with their unique humor and occasional interruptions.

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Closing Remarks: Fourth of July Reflections and Advice

Timestamp: [147:33] – [150:00]

As the show wraps up, John Holmberg delivers a heartfelt yet humorous plea for listeners to be considerate during Fourth of July celebrations. He urges fans to think of veterans and neighbors when lighting fireworks, blending genuine concern with comedic delivery.

• John Holmberg: "Please, for God's sakes, take two seconds before you and the kids go boom boom and start laughing. It pisses some people off." ([147:54])

The hosts sign off with continued banter, emphasizing community and safety while maintaining their comedic flair.

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Notable Quotes

• Brady Bogen on TikTok Trend: "There's no credible evidence to support it. It's dangerous for women." ([05:46])

• Listener Stacy's Husband: "He’s saving money so you can have better vacations." ([20:35])

• Brady Bogan's Bike Ride Insight: "If I were a private investigator, I'd have stopped her and saved the day." ([93:25])

• John Holmberg's Fireworks Advice: "Think of the veterans and the dogs when you light up those fireworks." ([148:00])

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness exemplifies the show's commitment to mixing humor with commentary on contemporary issues. From dissecting harmful social media trends to navigating absurd personal stories, John Holmberg and his co-hosts deliver an entertaining and thought-provoking morning show experience for their Arizona audience.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

Of July, celebrate family fun and the freedom to save with your Valley Chevy dealers. It all starts with spectacular offers available now at the Valley Chevy July 4th event. You'll have the freedom to choose from an extensive lineup ready for all adventures ahead, including popular models like the legendary Silverado with four powerful engine choices. The Road Trip ready Equinox blending first class comfort with intuitive tech and. And the feature packed Chevy tract with undeniable value. No matter how you celebrate the 4th of July, it's always better in a Chevy. But don't miss out. Visit a Valley Chevy dealer near you today.

[Brady Bogan]

Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed.

[Toledo]

The best of Homburg's morning sickness. This is the big red radio.

[Brady Bogan]

Speaking of genies, if I had one, this might be a wish as well. I'm not much for the influencers of the world. I don't. I think they're kind of manipulating society's brains. But that's the way it works now that people go on there and act like they're talented just for, you know, trying a product and looking pretty good for you. I can't do it. Maybe there's a little bitterness there. I have no idea. But one thing that's starting now and you know, they do the things like tide pod challenges and things. There's a new one called the trying to. Well, basically it's trying to eliminate your period through this elixir of like jello powder. And it works. So that'd be my third wish. Yeah, no more periods, especially on vacation. So this is the thing. They're saying that it's dangerous for women, but ladies listen up and men bring this home to them. It says it's no surprise that countless influencers have been tempted by a controversial period canceling Trend primarily involves a combination of jello powder, lemon juice, and ibuprofen. It's nothing.

[Eddie]

That can't be.

[Brady Bogan]

It's nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Did your sister make this potion?

[Brady Bogan]

It's claimed. It's claimed to stop the flow for a couple of days. So you still have your stuff. But, like, if you're going on a weekend, it always happens. Always happens. Every time.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, I'm broken.

[John Holmberg]

We'll reschedule, right?

[Brady Bogan]

We're not going.

[Donald Trump]

Why wouldn't we still go?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't enjoy your company that much. Unless there's a payoff at the end. That means we're talking more. And that sounds like a bad weekend. This lady named Alyssa Giacoma has tried it. And with her tutorial racking up 1.8 million views in a week, she was motivated to give up, give it a go. And her period Kicked off on a romantic birthday trip. See, she found out. Yeah, she's looking around how to kill her, claiming there wasn't a chance in France she'd have sex while she was away. She said, I have a PhD in tick tock. See, this is why I hate those people.

[John Holmberg]

She sounds like a keeper, though, so far.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, she's got the right idea. Yeah, she says, I learned you can cancel your period for a day. You're going to half a bag of jello. They didn't really specify flavor or anything. Assuming, like, uncooked. I don't think you make the jello. And then it says you give it a nice whirl. And when it smells good, the jello, not your stuff. You're supposed to add lemon juice. So when you're stirring up the powdery jelly, you add the lemon juice. And then you get 600 milligrams of ibuprofen and you have to use the gel ones. I think you click it around. So if that's true, I'm not effing around with it. And then you drink it. I think you just add water, right? Or maybe just a ton of lemon juice.

[Eddie]

Or become a female athlete, professional athlete.

[Brady Bogan]

It could be stopped flowing, give it an hour and then come back for the results. And everybody online did this. They said it was witchcraft, but by the power of TikTok, it worked. And chicks were coming back going, it stopped. My jelly pants are gone. And the whole. Brett, you would like this, because the title of the article I'm reading is Tired of Bloody Nick British. It's pants, Brett. It's pants. Okay, I know it's closed and makes you laugh every time, but it's Pants. Yeah, so you can stop your period. And it says. Thousands of comments with many users skeptical, intrigued of the idea of holding a period off, said, and then of course.

[Donald Trump]

The one you're gonna ruin your body if you do.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, just do it on vacation weekends. You can still have your miserable scourge when you're not. Wait, when we're at home, right? And when we're at home, I can give it a few days, but we got plans. This has gone on since the beginning of time. Talk to any man. Yeah, I'm taking her Hawaii and guess what? She's got like this weird six day flow. I think they do it on purpose. I think they hate it. I think they like, deep down don't want anything to do with us that way, so they fake one. Because we're never gonna like do a double check on that. I don't believe you. Let me see. We're not. They say it. We're like, we're all right. I'm not. I believe you. And then there's the dudes who'll just be like, just do it in the shower. Some murder scene in a hotel room. So yeah, they said that this is a possible thing. The nutritionist and health expert kicked in claims there's no credible evidence to support it. To try to delay your period and it may be harmful. The method of drinking jelly powder, lemon juice and ibuprofen to die, delay or stop periods is not only scientifically unsupported, but also potentially harmful. What's harmful about not having a period?

[John Holmberg]

There's always room for jello.

[Donald Trump]

You see, if you don't, then you go to sleep and the jello pudding.

[Brady Bogan]

Stops and just coagulates. I would shave. If I was a woman, I'd be willing to shave off 15 years of my life for no periods after the age of like 30. Like maybe if you had your kid burying your. But that's brutal. It's got to be the, that's the only time I'm like, man, they have it rougher than we'll ever imagine. I, I But if you said you, you can have your periods all the way through to your 50 or we'll shut those down, but you're only going to live to be like 62. How many of them would be like, done? Get rid of this thing.

[John Holmberg]

I'd sign Matthia up tomorrow.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh yeah, get rid of that. I'll sign it. Oh, I'd be outside with a line around the block just signing up straight. Hey, you signing up? Here's your jello and ibuprofen. Lemon juice. Enjoy not having these anymore. I think if you were a woman and you had a genie, that would be one of their wishes. The 15 billion. They'd try to end childhood cancer and then no more periods or. How come it can't be that?

[Eddie]

Maybe that'd be my thing.

[John Holmberg]

That's my third wish.

[Eddie]

Fix that.

[Brady Bogan]

What? Oh, yeah. No. Doctors won't do it a lot of.

[Eddie]

Times unless there's, you know, problem.

[Brady Bogan]

Major medical issues. You can't just go in and go get rid of this. Maybe that with the genie. A lady can wish for that. And a good lady who loves me would say, I would like my period to be Coke Zero. Then I'd never. There'd never be a downtime. I'd look forward to your period. Oh, are you making the Coke Zero? Sop it up with that cotton thing and then wring it out in my mouth. But, Brad, it's Coke Zero.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but still, just the thought of it. Just the sopping up and all.

[Brady Bogan]

Sopping all up. Up like biscuits and GR and barbecue sauce.

[John Holmberg]

Now Brady's in.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Now imagine that if her menstrual cycle was hot. And yy. You'd never not. You'd be down there all the time stir frying.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You'd have a hat on little plates nearby.

[Donald Trump]

Let's just get some of this on Curb's plate.

[Brady Bogan]

We're going to.

[Donald Trump]

That's straight out of your mom's tap there, Kirby. Dip your bread in it. Dip your bread in it.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on. The genie's involved. You're thinking of it.

[Donald Trump]

Come on.

[Brady Bogan]

It isn't. Still.

[Donald Trump]

Your mom sloughs her eggs and makes Coke Zero.

[Eddie]

Coming in with the onion volcano.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, and now the coup de grasse. A spoonful of sugar from my wife's big period, huh? Give that a taste.

[Brady Bogan]

You know how expensive it would be? You can only get it in, like, a few ounces every month. You'd sell out every Friday. All right, you got a line of people around the door. Mine would be Coke Zero or Dr. Pepper. Cherry. Dr. Pepper. Zero. Oh.

[Donald Trump]

Oh.

[Brady Bogan]

I'd never want you to not be on your period. We need these genies to be real. But if you can try it, ladies, I'd be interested in it, too. Throw on some jello.

[Donald Trump]

Get the jello pudding and lemon juice.

[Brady Bogan]

And then the ibuprofen.

[Donald Trump]

I'll. I'll supply the pills.

[Brady Bogan]

You see, ibuprofen, Mix it up. I think you just add water a little bit, chug it, and then it's period be gone.

[John Holmberg]

We had a woman text in Jen. She said jello is made from ground up horse hooves. Yeah, I'd rather have my period Jello.

[Brady Bogan]

You've eaten Jell O before. You don't think it's horse hooves while you're eating it. You know what else you eat and you have no idea. Stop it. Quit being such a prude. Stop bleeding all over the place. You've ruined the couch. Get that Febrezo. Pretty good stuff. Are we sure this broad isn't just pregnant and perfectly timed with the Jello and Mr. Period? I don't know, but if she can just hold it off, lock it up, maybe the jello powder makes the whole operation kind of glob up into Jello and then it's harder to pass.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to Alberson's today and buying all the ingredients.

[Brady Bogan]

Get all that stuff. Just. Just feed it. You know what? Act like you made her a drink. She comes home from work. I made you this drink. John was talking about this amazing new drink he's trying and have her chug it and then she'll look at you and go, oh, that was weird. He goes, we want to go away this weekend because it never fails, because nothing can ruin.

[John Holmberg]

I go to the room with the aria. You ready?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, I'm like, all right, well, you're going to be at Circus Circus. I'll be at the Aria.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm pretty convinced that I've presented in the past. I've. I've given up on this because it's ruined every time you present a couple of tickets to, like, we're going to Italy, and she just starts bleeding right there. Like, what?

[Donald Trump]

Just a mere mention of a wonderful trip. I started to bleed.

[Brady Bogan]

The hell's going on?

[Donald Trump]

When is it?

[Brady Bogan]

October.

[Donald Trump]

I'm gonna bleed all the way to November.

[Brady Bogan]

God damn it, she's dying. The scourge. This guy says a real man does it anyway and uses everything as lubricant. You're disgusting. O.J. that's gross. Yeah, I'll wait around the house. But vacation. Last thing I want is. I'm not going down there getting that all over my. I'm not. Well, I'm not 18. I don't have to go back to Tony Romas and start bragging about red wings. I'm a grown man, God damn it. Doing that. And over every brown brags about brown wings. Oh, you're not going down there when that's in action either. So stupid. Anyway, try it, ladies. Jello powder lemon juice, 600 milligrams of ibuprofen. And that. I assume if you're bigger, you can get up to like 8 or 900 milligrams of ibuprofen.

[John Holmberg]

So if you're number five.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I don't know about your flow. I'm just saying if you're like Lizzo size, 600 milligrams ain't cutting, it ain't stopping. That's a band aid on a. On a carotid artery. I'd try 1200 or. Yeah, tranker, just track her. By the way, what are we worried about Lizzo's period for? Nobody's going down there. Anyway. If you could have the genie wish her menstrual cycle into any flavor, what would it be? There's so many flavors, you actually just got kind of.

[Eddie]

It'd be like Baskin and Robbins.

[Brady Bogan]

You like the ice cream? That's not bad. Yours would probably be some sort of Italian.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Sambuca, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you'd go for a drink. Oh, yeah, I like that. Yeah. Alcoholic version. Make you a little dizzy. Okay, nice. That's too much black licorice or a.

[John Holmberg]

Nice, you know, 25 year old scotch or something.

[Donald Trump]

No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

You like a sip and drink down there? Yeah, a little.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not doing shots down there.

[Brady Bogan]

Cube of ice, that big square of ice. Yeah. Now I'm sticking with the.

[John Holmberg]

You still with The Coke Zero, Dr.

[Brady Bogan]

Pepper, Cherry, Coke Zero or just Coke Zero? Oh, my goodness. Because I'm never not in the mood for one of those. Sometimes I don't feel like drinking anyway.

[Eddie]

If it really was like a V8 or Bloody Mary mix.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't want to do that.

[Eddie]

I don't think.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't go tomato juice. That's just being a pervert.

[Eddie]

Zango.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. No, Jang, I'm not doing any of that. But it would be good. Genies are important to our lives because it makes you realize what you really want. And John, at the end, you could make a creamy diet Dr. Pepper. All right. Oh, God. Of course.

[John Holmberg]

Always one step too far.

[Brady Bogan]

Always. One guy out there has gotta ruin it all. But that was a good one. This guy says, put the jello in there. It's the ultimate caviar. Yummy. Mommy. Eggs with some Jello. Yeah, all right. That's true, too. Well, to each their own. I say. Guy says that Coke Zero period, might be the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Why? It changes it to a delicious treat rather than what it is, which is the grossest Thing we've all ever heard of in our life. I'm gonna fly us around the world.

[Donald Trump]

I'm on my period that month. How'd you do that?

[Brady Bogan]

How did you do that?

[John Holmberg]

As soon as you call jsx, it starts. As soon as you dial that number, it starts.

[Donald Trump]

Hi, thanks for calling jsx.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, my wife and I want to go on a trip.

[Donald Trump]

Hold on, I've got to hit the button. All right. She's gushing like she's been stabbed. What dates would you like to leave?

[Brady Bogan]

Feels all faithful. Well, now I don't want to go.

[Donald Trump]

And it's an especially painful one, so she's gonna complain most of the weekend.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, great. I can't eat my stomach. Bloating. Then you wonder why those hookers wander around Vegas. They know you here with your wife, huh? You want to go have sex with somebody who's not bleeding?

[Donald Trump]

Where are we staying?

[John Holmberg]

You're at the El Cortez.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm.

[John Holmberg]

I'm over here.

[Brady Bogan]

That should be a rule. If you bleed for the weekend, you stay at the Motel 6 off Strip. I bet you they'd lock it up. I bet you suddenly that thing doesn't happen every time you're on a trip. Oh, you're bleeding. All right. I got you a room down at the El Cortez with three other bleeders. It's like a. You got to share it.

[Eddie]

You're at the Red River Lodge.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it's a commune.

[John Holmberg]

No vacancy sign up there.

[Brady Bogan]

Doesn't even charge. It's just an MGM thing. It's like you've got the. They just turn the Vidara behind the Aria into that. And my wife's got one. She goes, oh, we've got a whole slew of them in there today. Like, it's. It's just one of those things where you go backpacking through Europe and you sleep in a 14 person tent.

[Donald Trump]

You guys all on your periods, too? Yeah, I tried to wreck the weekend, but now they've started this program, so I gotta lock it down.

[Eddie]

She's at the Clamata.

[Brady Bogan]

They don't have a casino at the Clemata. Are you gonna visit her? Hell no. You know what's going on in there? The whole place smells like a bag of pennies.

[Eddie]

That's all it is. Penny slots.

[Brady Bogan]

Penny slots. I like that. Just a bunch of.

[Donald Trump]

Why didn't you.

[Brady Bogan]

Why did you do that again? Conversation. Not too strong. Not your strong point. Not bringing you up here to talk. We do enough of that.

[Donald Trump]

Well, this is stupid. Now.

[Brady Bogan]

You're telling me, hit the salsa bar. Everything is just reminders of what?

[Donald Trump]

Cherry jello, salsa, linguinian clam.

[Eddie]

It's a fact.

[Brady Bogan]

Anyway, try that. And Joshua has named it Cooch Juice, which I don't think is too classy. Wow, again.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And that again, not sure how much jello powder to use. Lots of lemon juice, I guess. And then. That doesn't sound so bad. Really. Sounds like a Kool Aid with some lemon.

[John Holmberg]

It's like lemon jello.

[Donald Trump]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

When you put. That's true. But I would go with the cherry jello powder and then the lemon juice in it would make it, like, kind of tart. And then water it up and stir it. It's like a Kool Aid. I might want to try that on mine. If I drink it and spit it in your mouth, will it become. Will it help? Anyway, somehow or another, you gotta stop that, ladies. But I know for a fact they lie about that every vacation.

[Donald Trump]

We flew all the way to Paris and I started my period on the plane. And we were there for 18 days. And I had to see two doctors because I wouldn't stop.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you enjoy. How much did that cost you there, Dave? Oh, it was $18,000 to take her to Paris and talk to her the whole time. That was great. Really enjoyed the conversation about the Louvre.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, of course.

[Brady Bogan]

You want to go back to the room and do some oral.

[Donald Trump]

My stomach's so bloated. I don't really. I'm not in the mood for that. Let's walk around Paris and talk.

[Brady Bogan]

Great. That sounds great.

[Donald Trump]

Just see the sights.

[Brady Bogan]

Spent $25,000 on your cans and your tummy hurts. We're in Paris. I ain't traveling anywhere. Big reason. Get those laid up. Brady's idea is good. I like the idea of booking them in the El Cortez, but I also really like the idea the MGM starts its own period hotel for all the ladies who wrecked it.

[Donald Trump]

We can't help it.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure seems like you got that thing helped out. Put a pair of plane tickets in your wife's hand to watch it go. I'm menstruating.

[Donald Trump]

It's the plane tickets. What? Cause it.

[Toledo]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Brett Vesely]

This fourth of July celebrate family fun and the freedom to save with your Valley Chevy dealers. It all starts with spectacular offers available now at the Valley Chevy July 4th event. You'll have the freedom to choose from an extensive lineup ready for all adventures ahead, including popular models like the legendary Silverado. With four powerful engine choices. The road trip ready Equinox blending first class comfort with intuitive tech. And the feature packed Chevy Trax with undeniable value. No matter how you celebrate the 4th of July, it's always better in a Chevy. But don't miss out. Visit a Valley Chevy dealer near you today.

[Toledo]

The rest of Homeburg's morning sickness. This is the big red radio.

[Brady Bogan]

I got another email from somebody and this one is a. It's more of a what would Brady do? But it's a design and I hope you guys pick up on it. We'll answer accordingly individually afterwards. Hey, guys. My husband goes to massage places once a week. He has for a while and he says he has to. To de stress. Well, I happen to have access to his phone location and I saw that he was at a weird industrial area down by the railroad tracks. I drove by it and it's a weird little shop with a neon sign that says massage next to a warehouse. He says I'm acting crazy, that it's not a legitimate place. We both listen to you guys in the morning and he says you'll back him up. Is that a legitimate thing or not, Stacy? Right.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, I mean, rent is cheaper in those areas, you know, so.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, is it a legitimate thing? What?

[John Holmberg]

Going for a massage.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it a legitimate thing? This business that he was at? No. You know, Brady.

[Eddie]

Yes, of course it was bros before.

[Brady Bogan]

What are you doing? Of course it was. Stacy, you have nothing to worry about. Your husband goes to industrial massage parlors and warehouse areas to save you a little money.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just saying that means she's a smoke show. Because if she's that dumb.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I'm thinking. Mean, let's not ruin it for them.

[Eddie]

Right?

[Brady Bogan]

Right. They're listening. Stop it. Oh, yeah. Stacy, you're beautiful and smart and this whole thing.

[Eddie]

Look, you have to understand, rent is expensive.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I just was saying. He's saving you money so you guys can have better vacations. He could go over to Monte Lucia or the. The Grand Ambassador and get massages. He's chosen to take. Sacrifice his own cleanliness and, you know, I guess the quality of massage. I'm not so sure it's bad. I don't know. I've never been. I'm not a creep. But he's doing that to save the family money. And I think that you should thank him.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, he's putting himself out there.

[Brady Bogan]

He needs a mouth Hug you. Yep. For you. He could be spending money lavishly on himself, like I think you probably do. Stacy, I bet you've got a bunch of makeup brushes that are extremely expensive. I bet you go to get your face done and your hair and your skin and all that. And you don't go to cheap places because you think of only you. This guy your husband is thinking of, the whole family is like, I could get a quality massage at one of these. I mean, we're a resort laden city. He could be going into any of them. But he's chosen to find a cheap, reasonable place to do this for her, for you.

[Eddie]

To give you your freedom. He's probably sitting in a backyard right now in a chair waiting to get his teeth cleaned.

[Brady Bogan]

That could be. I bet you he's going to Dr. Abuela. And he's. He's ready to go in there and get some dentistry done for you, Stacy. So you can have nice things he sacrifices for you. Yes, of course. It's a legitimate business now. Are you asking me what goes on in there? I don't know that. And I won't step in and say, that man goes to. There's one over on University in 32nd. When I. Sometimes I'll. When I drive to meet you for that game. I used to play golf. Sometimes. You go up University? Yeah. It turns into 32nd. You go by, like two of them. There's a couple of them weird, weird buildings. And there's cars in front of them. And it's cars with men who care about their wives more than other men. That's who it is. He's making your life easier. Guess what else you don't have to do? Give him a massage. It's easier for you if somebody else does that in the day. Doesn't come home, you know, bothering you with needs.

[Eddie]

And they're working on cars below and dancing up on top.

[Brady Bogan]

Steve's building their Jordans up. Exactly. Gucci. Maybe he's waiting for the Gucci bag he's having made for you up in the attic. Dude's getting a tug. What are you guys doing? I don't know what you're talking about. Steve Greenemeyer. That's crazy talk. That man is saving his family money. Your kids are gonna go to good colleges, and he's de. Stressing. You know what, Stacy? The man's filled with stress to the point where he's gotta get a massage a week. What are you doing? Ask yourself what your work is. How are you involved? And your husband is this stressed out.

[Eddie]

When's the last time you gave him a massage?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. How about that? When's the last time you didn't give him grief about him de stressing him. Check his phone locations. What's going on with you, Stacy? Mind your own business and let this man breathe. He did say to Stacy that we would back him. Yeah, yeah. What are you doing? This guy says to Philip, all the men are just a gas. Stacy. Philip Calvert says, what are you doing, ladies? Scooping or snooping around on his phone? Trust him. Let your man get a massage. He's doing it for you. I agree.

[Eddie]

They say I went to a brothel in Spain and I didn't do anything. It's a legitimate deal.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't even know why you're comparing a to a massage party.

[Eddie]

I'm just saying that extreme. You can still go to a brothel without doing anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Look, even if he went to a sorority and a girl gave him a hand job, he's just being polite. And that's one less thing you have to do. Stacy, he's thinking of you. Every girl that gives him a hand job is one less hand job you have to give against your will. We watch tv. We hear you ladies going, ugh, my husband wants to have some sex again. We know you hate it.

[Eddie]

You still won't have to get your carpal tunnel surgery done.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. Meanwhile, you're over there at Hawk Lynn's Foot palace getting rub downs for $35 and your toenails painted, which you could do on your own if you cared about the family at all. Paint your own toes.

[Donald Trump]

But it feels so good. And I like to pamper myself.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, so does he. So does he. And if you had extra money because you're spending it all, Stacy, you could do it at a nicer place. Right now he's got a sacrifice. I remember back in the days of the band, Uncle Jesse, when we would go to our rehearsal place over on Good lord. It was 19th Avenue, McDowell. And it was in a eustoric kind of thing, but every place in there had a band. Instead of, like, people storing their stuff, there were just bands one after another in each un Air conditioned box. Had all our equipment set up and we would rehearse there and we'd do it in the middle of the night, you know, and it was a hallway of storage units and another hallway of storage units and then the third door all the way to the end. And I mean, this was this. This was back before Phoenix had a little life to it. This, you were in the heart of Ugh. All night long. When we would rehearse at 2 in the morning. That massage, neon open sign at that last door. And the whole thing. And I don't care what time of day it was. There was somebody in there. It was crazy. Because dudes care about their families and they wouldn't frequent these places. My God, you shrew. Stacy. And thank you for emailing. This is a good topic that all men need to hear. In fact, guys, right now, get your wives over by the radio and go listen to this. Listen to this lady. And she's ruined lives trying to make trouble where there wasn't any. Snooping through his phone and then following him over to the warehouse. That poor bastard. No wonder he's stressed out. He's got a private investigator he calls wife. You should buy him a present today. Take some of that money that you were gonna spend on yourself and your hair and your makeup and your nonsense. Go buy him something nice.

[John Holmberg]

Get him a gift card. At the age of Ms. Sonny's, that's.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe not a bad idea.

[Donald Trump]

I would like my husband to get 10 free ones. How far we wanna go? Just whatever you normally do, okay?

[Brady Bogan]

Give him the works.

[Donald Trump]

Just the whole thing. I just want whatever you guys do. That's the best package. Okay? We handled his package. Gosh, you guys are accommodating. We bring Saran Wrap.

[Brady Bogan]

I've heard that. I use that as an example all the time. I've never done a massage, but I heard they'll wrap it up with Saran Wrap. That was from one of our promo kids years ago. Danny, you go there and they just wrap it up with Saran Wrap and start going, like, what? Saran Wrap? Yeah. Cause they're.

[Eddie]

If they run out of that.

[Brady Bogan]

Condoms are pricey.

[Eddie]

If they run out of that, then it's a Ziploc sandwich.

[Brady Bogan]

She puts rubber gloves on. I don't know if she does the current hawk tooie situation that's going all over the Internet. But she puts some sort of butter on her hands, wraps it up in Saran Wrap and goes to town. And then no fuss, no musk, gets that cling wrap off, you go home, you go pay, and you leave. I don't know if I could. I don't know if I could stop laughing. If somebody put Saran Wrap on my wiener.

[Donald Trump]

You ready, Joe?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't. What are you doing? Are you gonna bake this thing or store it in the fridge for a while?

[Donald Trump]

Oh, here we go. Okay, you get out now.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And it is a surprising amount of. Of corporate men that take still do the 60s thing. And take time to go get massages.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they need their time.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. Jason says. Hey, it's the most popular thing on the Internet right now. Hey, Stacy, how about a little hawk tua for your husband? Spit on that big thing. Yeah, it is true. I can't believe she wrote in and did that. The man is looking out for her. And what do men do? All we do is sacrifice. Sacrifice this, sacrifice that, so you can have it all. One little thing where he treats himself to a nice massage, and the next thing you know, troubles abound everywhere. Follow him around. Dude, what are you doing with your locations on? You know she's gonna come find you somewhere you're not supposed to be. Quit it. Your location's on. In Brady's case.

[Donald Trump]

I'm at work still.

[Brady Bogan]

And location's on. It's gonna go see him over there with a face full of famous Daves before lunch. He's gonna double down.

[Eddie]

She knows you're having a second lunch.

[Donald Trump]

You're doing second lunch, are you? You're ridiculous. This is.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, choking on a ribbon.

[Donald Trump]

You're ridiculous. This is the stupidest thing. You're always accusing me. I might as well just go have second lunch. I'm getting blamed for it either way. You won't stop eating.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett. Your location services better be off.

[John Holmberg]

No, I mean I, I, I would have a flip phone if I didn't, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

It better be off.

[Eddie]

It says your location is underwater.

[Brady Bogan]

Why are you standing in the lake?

[Donald Trump]

What are you doing?

[Brady Bogan]

Goddamn location services. That's nuts.

[John Holmberg]

See, Brady's got the perfect cover with via shack. I mean it's like, you know, could be the massage place.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, Viet Shack sounds like a place that maybe get a hand job. Are you ready for your hunter job?

[Donald Trump]

Let's get this done, Shaq. I gotta get home for second lunch.

[Brady Bogan]

By the way, the, the place that I described is called Francisco Studio. And a guy said still going strong massage joint still there. That, my friends, was 30 years ago and it's still there. That is a thriving business taking care. That tells you something. That tells you something. There's some wives maybe not getting her done. If a all night massage parlor in the warehouse district of 19th Avenue. McDowell is a 30, 30 year plus business. That tells you that it's not just ah, lonely fellas. That's I don't even know. Do they do massage in there?

[Eddie]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Depends on what area you want massaged. Apparently.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I guess so. Hawktui is the thing. And somebody says is Hawk Lynn the same thing as Hawk tua? I don't know. Hawk Tua is a. It's just non stop. And I don't even. I don't get it. I don't understand why that's taken off so bad. Do not before you. Don't. Don't do that. Be a decent girl. Like an R word. Drool. Make sort of weird noises. Like Patrice o' Neill said, I like when a girl sounds somewhere between choking to death and retarded. That's what we like. Anyway. Thank you for the email, Stacy. I hope we. You know, we're almost like marriage counselors up here. That was a beautiful moment and I'm proud of all of us for step. Not Brett so much. Brett just gave the game away. We turned you around on that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, I mean, come on.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, it's a legitimate business.

[John Holmberg]

It is a legitimate business.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I would. I don't want to go in there because I don't like people touching me. And really, I've been to resorts. I was at the place up in. Well, Jesus. I was in the Virgin Islands for the first marriage. We took a trip to the Virgin Islands and came with massages and whatever. And I don't understand the couple's massage. No, I would never. That's ridiculous. I'll lay here, you lay here. And somehow another. This is romantic to have other people come. Now, here's the thing about the couple's massage. A man doesn't suggest that. It's a woman suggestion, which is basically her way of asking for like a three way. We'll lay there naked. It'll be so romantic. And strangers will come in and start rubbing our body. Now, if you're a man and you're like, hey, I got an idea. Let's go down to the bar and we'll pick a couple of college girls up and we'll bring them back to the house, and then we'll lay together while they do stuff to us.

[Donald Trump]

You're a pervert.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait a minute. That's the same as a couple's massage. And I don't understand how that's.

[Donald Trump]

Couples massage isn't supposed to be sexual.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, it is. That's the whole point. It always says romantic, sensual, couples massage.

[Donald Trump]

That's.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just strangers that are doing jobs because we don't want to touch each other. I don't get the couple's massage, but we got massages thrown in. So I go into the thing and the lady's like, all right, take off your shorts. And I'm like, I'm not. I'M in my basketball shorts. That's enough. I'm not really into this. I'm going to tense up the second your hands hit me. I don't like massage. I don't like being touched by strange. You know, if we're about to do it, sure. Rub away. But if this. If I'm paying you to just touch me. This is like a strip club. This is dumb. It's like a makeout parlor. It's like, all we do is kiss. I'm like, I'm not going in there. This is just foreplay. So she's like, just take it off. And, you know, I'm like, all right, fine. So I take off my shorts, I lay down. She puts the sheet over my back and then folds it over nicely to half of my body exposed, my right half, down the spine, down the right butt cheek crease. And then she. Then she karate chops the sheet right into my butt crack. And I'm like, all right, we're done here.

[Donald Trump]

Like, what happened?

[Brady Bogan]

You think I'm relaxing when you're karate chopping my ass cheeks? That's not good.

[Donald Trump]

I had to tuck it.

[Brady Bogan]

No, you didn't. That. She wasn't going anywhere.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she tucked her.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, she tucked.

[Eddie]

I have full hand in the crack.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I got Anya. I got deep. Terribly stupid music that. I mean, what am I supposed to do? All I'm doing is fighting an erection, and she's asking me, how's your day? Was better before this started. Are you gonna blow me or not? Because otherwise, this is a waste. This is a waste of everyone's time. You know what would make this worse? My wife laying next to me right now, having the exact same thing happen while she's sitting there moaning, some other guy rubbing on her. You don't care for this? No, I don't. I'm gonna roll over right now. If you don't get to work on the goods parts, I'm leaving. Really 180 bucks to not have you do that. I'm not doing it.

[Eddie]

I did it once.

[Brady Bogan]

Couples massage. Wasn't your idea.

[Eddie]

It was Ronnie. Of course it was massage. This, the therapist was supposedly Oprah's.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, God.

[Eddie]

And I went to the spa in the rainforest, you know, up there, so.

[Brady Bogan]

She knows she can wear the big body.

[Eddie]

The lady was a gigantic woman with huge hands. And Ronnie got her.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And I got her minion. We were next to each other, but they started off with this just lay Hawaiian song, prayer to the gods.

[Brady Bogan]

I'd leave right there.

[Eddie]

And. And you're you know, out. You're outside looking at the rainforest.

[Brady Bogan]

I'd be gone right there. I'd be like, no, the rainforest is here. Whether you guys want to sing to it or not, I'm leaving. I would laugh. All right, enough. Get to my wiener.

[John Holmberg]

Let's go, Gill.

[Brady Bogan]

And all they do is work around it. It's like edging. It's like, just get to it. No, that would be filthy. Like, I'm naked. You're rubbing my naked body.

[Donald Trump]

Touch it.

[Brady Bogan]

But your wife's right there. I think she's into it. This was her idea. I don't understand the couple's massage. How was that romantic? Oh, look into your eyes and have some stranger rubbing my naked body. This is. This was a great idea. And I'm not supposed to get aroused because. Especially if you get a hot massage therapist. She starts rubbing, and you're sitting there going, no, I'm thinking of you the whole time. You get some girl in yoga pants, it looks like Livy Dunn. She starts rubbing on you so you can be aroused by your wife. That ain't going well. You ain't taking back to the room.

[John Holmberg]

Most of the time, she's picking out Broadzilla for you.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly. Because she knows what you'll be thinking of later if you come out of that turned on, which is the design of the romantic massage. But if you get a Livy Dunn type that's rubbing on you and you come out of it going, yeah, that really got me going.

[Donald Trump]

I bet it did.

[Brady Bogan]

Now, hold on. This was your idea. And where guys are cooler is if she had some Jason Momoa dude rubbing on her, and she came out of there, you know, soaked up like a wet sponge. Ain't stopping us. I don't care who you're thinking.

[Eddie]

Are you ready?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[Eddie]

Ready for this.

[Brady Bogan]

45 minutes, and I'm just giving that dude a thumbs up. I'm like, you're doing half the work for me. She's gonna close her eyes and think of you, but I'm still gonna be the one doing it.

[Donald Trump]

That was so amazing. And so relaxed.

[Brady Bogan]

Me too. Libby Dunn was fairly. And then we have to lie. Her hands were rough. I didn't really like her. She had bad breath.

[Donald Trump]

Sure. I bet that's what you're thinking about.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, you had Jason Momoa massages. If you're not getting a hand job, you're wasting your money. Unless it's like one of those. Those clinical ones where you got something wrong and you got some dude with his elbow in your spine. If it doesn't hurt, you ain't doing it.

[Eddie]

What's with the metal scraper?

[Brady Bogan]

I used to have to do your hamstring physical therapy. My man Drew. I'd feel his elbow. I'm like, I think that's my heart, Drew. It's like, no, it's got a lot of tension in your back, cuz your shoulder. Like you're touching my heart with your elbow and I hate this. And then later I'd be like, hey, it actually worked. Never once as some lady with half a quartz rock and a lava lamp made me feel better.

[Eddie]

I'll never forget when we did one of those years ago, one of those motorcycle trips. And it was in Worth, Austria. And in this ski shallow pretty lodge, I'm like, all right, there's a massage there. Oh, get a relaxing massage to end the night. And it's Beulah ball breaker, lay down.

[Donald Trump]

She's probably good at Crush me.

[Eddie]

She was really good.

[Brady Bogan]

But you didn't want that when you went in. You wanted a hot, relaxed, borderline sexual massage that no guy goes in there thinking, I want a big to come in here and wreck my day.

[Eddie]

You're thinking the same. Polygirls coming in.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Nope. That time I was in Sedona at the Miyamo and I went in there and I was like the only this gigantic, beautiful. I mean it's gorgeous. And I went in there and I whole locker room's empty. Open my locker and sure enough, some dude who wants to be best friends, well, there's somebody and starts walking over, takes the locker right next to me, and there's thousands of lockers right next to me. Drops his pants. Today. Ah, put my towel back on. I left. I go upstairs and there's a waiting room of half naked men and women sitting in there waiting for them, their name to be called, like they're at the dentist. And I just left Homegren. No, I went downstairs and I said, I'm not feeling so great. My tummy hurts. I don't think it's a good day for me.

[Donald Trump]

Oh my God.

[Brady Bogan]

Would you like to reschedule? Absolutely. Not until that dude over there. Tom, there's 5, 000 lockers. He didn't need to choose the one right next to me. That was creepy. Might as well just touched butts. Gross. You don't want to do that. I'm not into the massage. You haven't guessed. But Stacy, your husband is. There's nothing wrong with that. Let him have his moment. This is where I Read about stuff like, you know, like what Pete Lee was talking about the other. Where young people are just like, screw it, polyamorous, throupling. All that stuff that they're doing is basically saying, ah, tired of chasing people around on the location services. Forget it. Who wants to get jerked off by some Asian lady? How's that hurt you?

[Donald Trump]

It's dishonest.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but still, come on, you didn't know it wasn't that bad. Some Asian lady gives a guy a hand job so he can de stress and be nicer to you. I think that's a gift for the whole family. We should all try it today. Just a flood out the door like it's Little Miss. Just a line of an hour of people waiting. And then the great story about the one in the radio executive here in town who got busted by Sheriff Joe's thing, which was like a three month operation of 90 officers that were going in and out of massage parlors to see which ones were hand job ones.

[John Holmberg]

Hit me up.

[Brady Bogan]

I said the same thing. That's even better if you're a cop. Coming. It was a tough day, honey. I. I went into four different massage parlors and guess what?

[Donald Trump]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

They're all crooked hand job places.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, not bad.

[Brady Bogan]

I know. I'm drained. I'm so beat. I mean, this is the toughest day an officer could ever have. Walking the beat, so to speak. In and out, every one of them. Is there any legitimate massage parlor in this town? I'll tell you what, I'm gonna shut them all down myself if I have to. There is. I'll find it for a lack of looking by this guy right here, Officer. Hand job.

[Eddie]

You gotta find out how many are doing it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

So get a different masseuse every time.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they had this thing and then, and then the paper rated them or not the paper, the police rated them. And the newspapers were there because they alerted the media and they busted. And all these executives and suits come out and the one guy running power 92 arms up and his name on his monogram on his. Everybody was like, hey, we know you. Poor Vaster was just trying to have a nice afternoon. It's a tough one and it's a. You know, and those Asians, they float over here. They used to be doctors and lawyers and stuff over there. And then things got really rough and they come over here, they wash our feet and they give us hand jobs. I mean, it's a pretty nice culture.

[Donald Trump]

Want me to paint toenails?

[Brady Bogan]

Sure. Hand job. Good lord. What did you do before? Oh, I used to be doctor. Oh, my God. How bad did it get where you're from? Oh, I got ladyboy flu. Had to leave. Oh, yeah. You went to Cambodia. That's where Toledo travels, I understand.

[Eddie]

In Milwaukee, they did a client trip. This is in the 90s, but early 90s, they did a client trip to Japan. In Japan, you go to the bathhouse, you get a haircut, soak a little bit handy.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Call it a day.

[Brady Bogan]

A beautiful afternoon.

[Eddie]

About the four days row. I can't. One of the ladies says, my husband, this is the third time he's getting a haircut.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of haircuts.

[John Holmberg]

You know, let's keep it tight.

[Brady Bogan]

Got to keep it tight for 10 days. You know, it'd be suspicious if I'm in there getting haircuts every day. This guy just likes a nice line, like Mike Tomlins guy, you know? Anyway, Stacy, in answer to your question, yes, it's a very legitimate business, and your husband is just. Quit being selfish, Stacy. I think you're selfish. And you said. We both listened to you in the morning. We'd like your opinion on this. You're being selfish. You need to buy your husband a gift and probably give out more mouth hugs because it sounds to me he's pretty stressed.

[John Holmberg]

He needs some release.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's. Yeah, he's. He's working real hard for the family, and you're sitting there following him around. You got nothing to do all day but to look at his locations and then go drive to him. Why aren't you at work? Where's your job?

[Donald Trump]

I don't have to. He's. I had a hair appointment at 2.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's what I thought. Who do you think's footing the bill for that old jerky McJerks a lot over here. Leave him alone. Standing up for the men they see.

[John Holmberg]

Like that house in pv.

[Brady Bogan]

Just. Just let it go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're fine.

[Brady Bogan]

Look around the 12,000 square feet you call home and go, you know what? I can overlook this.

[John Holmberg]

It could be in Maryville.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's right. With some guys not getting massages, can't afford a phone to location services, at least, you know, 28 days of the 30 of the month, I'll be using those location services last week. Drain out all our batteries. Got no more minutes left. Cause you chasing me all over town. God damn it. No wonder I'm stressed out. Need some Asian girl to jerk me off. I got the Third Reich up my ass all day.

[Toledo]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station it's good to be on top, isn't it?

[Donald Trump]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

So get on top and ride with the top morning show in town and the best of Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett, start here and see if you can get through this. I'm not sure you can get through this letter here. Hang on a second. Let me get my news music. Don't read it. Don't pre read it. If Brett can get through this, I think this one's gonna be easier on you. I think you should be able to do this.

[Eddie]

I float right over it.

[Brady Bogan]

My news music. I used to have tons of it. Where'd it go? Ah, come on. NBC News. Bed's missing. There it is. All right, here we go. Ready? And now with the news, Mr. Brett Vesley.

[John Holmberg]

All right, good evening, everybody. Here we go. A woman was banned from. From using Uber's ride share and food delivery service because they deemed her name offensive, despite being common in some countries. For mil.

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[John Holmberg]

For millions of people around the world, the word swastika is associated with the. With the horrors of World War II.

[Brady Bogan]

Good news, Person. I am. I am.

[John Holmberg]

But for swastika, Sandra, it's important.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, that's it. He's firing down.

[Donald Trump]

Yeah, the longest one.

[Brady Bogan]

It was pretty good, though it took.

[Eddie]

A while to get to it.

[Brady Bogan]

Her name is Swastika Chandra, and Uber won't deliver her food.

[Eddie]

It would have been wiped out if it opened up.

[Brady Bogan]

What do you mean?

[Eddie]

Swastika Shanda got pulled over.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no. Yeah. Oh. If he. If he said, somebody, Swastika Chandra has a beef with Uber, you'd have died laughing. Yeah, they built it like you. You had to build to it. Her name is Swastika Chandra, and she's fighting Uber because. And Uber caved. She's fighting Uber because they won't deliver her food because her name's on a list of, like, we're not playing around. If you're going to write, you know, dirty words down is your name. We're not doing it. And she's like, no. Swastikas were a good thing in Sanskrit for thousands of years before Hitler. Well, that got wrecked. Sorry. Can't have it. You guys did a poor job of marketing, and the Nazis did a great job of marketing. It now means something else. No more. If you have to bring the word Sanskrit into your argument, you're out. You're done. It's over. It's over.

[John Holmberg]

The Nazis had a better agency working for them.

[Brady Bogan]

The better uniforms, the better colors. You guys come out and scri.

[Donald Trump]

This used to Be ours.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it's not anymore. The homo F word used to be a bundle of sticks. Not anymore. You can't even point to a bundle of sticks and say, hey, that's a good. Over there. I'm gonna bring those over and start a fire.

[Donald Trump]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

Somehow or another, the Brits still get away with the cigarette.

[Eddie]

Those are too thick.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Yeah, I don't like those. I like the skinny. The more aidsy would, if you will. Anyway, yeah, Swastika. Chandra can't have Uber Eats, so she's like, if she couldn't figure it out, she'd order Uber Eats and they'd decline her order all the time. She's, like, barking and barking and yelling about how her. Change your goddamn name. Swastika. Here's the thing. I'm sure in some language the N word pops up, but doesn't mean that. And maybe, like, your name and like, I don't know, if you're from Indonesia or Micronesia or something, and your language and your name is the N word, and you come over to the United States and you try to hold on to that, you're not gonna last long. It's just not it. I mean, it's bad enough that Arnold has to walk around with what he's got going on in his last name, and I'm surprised that hasn't been, like, an Uber Eats cancel.

[Eddie]

Don't think I ever laughed at that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, when that first happened, the whole country looked at each other like, you guys heard it too, right? And they have the nerve to make Arnold go on TV and go, neighbor, neighbor. Like, the guy even says his own name. It sounds offensive, but we let that one go because, you know, we understood. But you can't stick to that if you're not famous. You can't go wandering into job interviews and your first name is Swastika. Like, I'm not hiring you. That's just a hassle for me. I don't want to hear your argument about how it used to be. Sanskrit has to be constant. You know how I know those people know they're wrong? Cause their argument has the words used to be in it. They know they lost. Used to be means it's not anymore.

[Eddie]

Yeah, but Swazi's really nice.

[Donald Trump]

I mean, just.

[Brady Bogan]

Just change your name to. You can't even keep the Z. Swalla or something. Swallow and look at her.

[John Holmberg]

You wouldn't want that anymore.

[Brady Bogan]

No, yeah, I don't want the Swazi because. Too close. Swazi is. Why do they call you that my Real name's Swastika. She's gonna still say it. Swan, something something, not Swastika. You can't hold on to that, and we can't feel for her. Your name's Swastika. You want Uber Eats, you gotta change your name to something else. That is not a hill to die on.

[Eddie]

You can just call me ss.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah? Yeah. Wouldn't that be worse if her last name started with an S? I'm Swastika Chandra. Oh, just call me ss. Big Harry Potter fan. Yeah, I have a lightning bolt tattooed to my head. Oh, that's great. Swastika. Good move. In fact, I have one for each kid, so there's two right next to each other. Okay, you're a genius. So she grew up in Fiji, and she says it's not a controversial name. And where I'm from, well, you're not there anymore. You left Fiji and now you're eating Uber Eats, and you got to change your name. Sorry. Yeah, they. She's in Australia. I'm proud of my name. It's not a United States issue, but, yeah, don't be proud of your name. No, stop it. Just don't be proud of your name anymore. You can't do it. And there's, you know, I get it. Buddhists and Sanskrit people who are trying to keep that alive want to argue with you. You're automatically out. UberEats has a policy that no one named Swastika can order food. You're the only one, by the way. So change your name.

[Donald Trump]

My parents gave me this name and I'm proud of it.

[Brady Bogan]

She kept saying that in the article.

[Donald Trump]

I'm proud of my name.

[Brady Bogan]

Why?

[Donald Trump]

Because I'm.

[Brady Bogan]

Because it gets you attention. You're an attention whore. That's what you're proud of.

[Eddie]

Meanwhile, get the order out to Shafid right away.

[Brady Bogan]

She said she got a pop up on one of the Uber things on the payment stage that said your first name is in violation. You need to change your name on the app. How hard is it to just change your name on the Uber Eats app and just go on living your life as Swastika? Except for when you order UberEats. So Uber Eats doesn't want to hear the word swastika. That's their right.

[Donald Trump]

They need to change.

[Brady Bogan]

She's like, I think a bit of education is needed. I'm very proud of my name. I believe in the good that comes with it, and I'm not changing it for anybody. Well, you need some education on the way people feel about Swastikas. Here's the. Here's. Here's when you lose me the word ancient and the phrase used to be, if you're throwing the word ancient in to defend something horrible, you've lost already. It's over. Your battle has already been lost. I mean, they've been. Imagine the Jews of Australia wandering around, meeting people with swastikas all over. It's triggering. It's the old Bill Hicks joke. You wouldn't go into the Kennedy compound wearing a rifle pendant. You just know better. I love the guns. Love the guns. Thinking of JFK right here. And it's confusing because, you know, his argument there was, Jesus had the cross. Do you think he wants to come back and see one of those ever again? But yet you guys wear him around like crazy. You don't wander into the Kennedys house with a character. Kay. Thinking of your man. I wear it around my neck every day. It's not a good idea.

[Eddie]

Technically, the wrong cross.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it's not even the right thing. But even still, the representation, once he finds out what stands out.

[Donald Trump]

What do you guys celebrate down here?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it's where you got hung up. We're pretty happy with that. Swastika over here has another argument. If your name's swastika or the N word's in it or, you know, there's all sorts of them, you can't just change your name. You shouldn't be that proud of your name. Knock it off.

[Toledo]

The Best of the Morning Sickness is on the air. 98 KUPD.

[Brady Bogan]

Do any of you people do any actual work?

[Toledo]

The rest of Homburg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

This segment's brought to you guys by Action Ride Shop. Now, if you're thinking about heading up north to hit the slopes for some skiing, some boarding, or if you're just gonna stay down here in the valley and do some mountain biking, Action Ride Shop is your place to be. They got all the gear and all the knowledge you're gonna need, so check them out [e-mail] or better yet, just go visit them over there on Gilbert Road and Southern.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Action Ride Shop. So many. And then I got a new. You just. You sent me one. This is an interesting way to wake up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I thought when I opened it.

[Brady Bogan]

This message is for Home Bird. I just want to say, sticking your finger in a dog's butt when they're fighting works. My dog, Ranger just got attacked and I couldn't move. The lady stuck her finger up her dog's wazoo and he submitted immediately. And I was able to save my boy. Thank you for that. That dog was locked on. My dog. Brooke, did we ever give that information? What's she thanking us for?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I. You must have said something.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe it was in a Brady report or something. And I've always heard grab their back legs and tilt them up. I never even dreamt of giving them the oil check. That's just. I mean, accidentally maybe you find that out by when you're trying to break them up. Former employee of Hubbard Broadcasting and KSLX midday host Paul Marshall just got his dogs got into a fight and he got into like. He got hit hard. Bit in the arm and leg and like bad, bad his. He had to go to the hospital. Like 36 stitches in his leg and a whole. His arm looked like it was leaking. I don't know what that stuff was. He was just gooing out like fat. I'm not sure what it was. Body fat. But yeah. He said he tried to get him apart and he couldn't do it. Yeah. Now we know. Finger in the butt. I would assume finger in the butt breaks up every species fight, but maybe not the gays.

[Eddie]

Back in the day when Shahidi got into a scrap, it was. Fortunately, it worked when I had the base of her tail.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Because I. I had heard that's what they did on the.

[Brady Bogan]

You're awfully close. Yeah. Give it the old. Yeah. I think the only. The only people going at it.

[Eddie]

It's hard. I mean that's.

[Brady Bogan]

You're like, oh, you're just in a.

[Eddie]

Panic and you know, trying to end the Death Star.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Stay on target.

[Brady Bogan]

If you're. Yeah. If you're trying to hit that 2 meter hole, you're shooting womp rats in your ass. It's not good.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it had to be us. Who else would. Who else would give that kind of information? Well, maybe Katie KB.

[Brady Bogan]

But Katie KB's talking about fingers and butts all the time. But in fairness to us saying that it ends something. KDKB's finger in the butt. It's a beginning. It's the start of a. Of a beautiful relationship between man and beast. You got to be careful with them. That's why. I think that's why they do that. They're always drinking around the animal in case there's a fire starting, something poke. Fingers and butts. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that breaks up a fight with me too. That. Learn that in tactical black. I think if you throw a finger in Something that's getting out of hand definitely changes what's going on. So thanks for that, Brooke. I don't remember giving that advice, but.

[Eddie]

Did broomhead text in Broomhead Mike, why saying that what you gotta do is put the finger.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think.

[Eddie]

Why would Mike texting during the discussion on Friday? I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

We didn't talk about this on Friday. We talked about terminal illness. Brooke just shot this one out of nowhere. This came out of the clear blue sky, so I don't have any clue what Brooks talking about. My gay neighbors have moved back into their house. I'll ask them if that would break up a fight or start a whole new party.

[Eddie]

Works with them.

[Brady Bogan]

I think if they're in a scrap and they feel a finger in their butt, that's just a new participant.

[Eddie]

It stops the fighting.

[Brady Bogan]

It would look like they're fighting. It would look as if. Oh, they're in a horrible, horrible scrum. These two gentlemen. We have to break this up. And I've read that if you put a finger in their bottom, I think that's just gonna start a train. I think you're pretty much just gonna. It's gonna look like the end of Soul Train.

[John Holmberg]

I would start a train.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of dancing.

[Eddie]

I think it could just be work in general. If he gets a couple of guys fighting, whoever finger in the butt will separate them.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, that's what I just said. Brady, are you all right?

[Eddie]

I'm talking about women. I'm talking about.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, that's what I said. Everybody but the game.

[Eddie]

I thought you meant to.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no. Any animal on the planet at all. I don't know. What a weird way. What a weird email.

[Toledo]

To start today, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Brady Bogan]

Cease and desist at once.

[Toledo]

The rest of home birth's morning sickness. This is the big Red radio.

[Brady Bogan]

It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady report. And it's brought to you by our friends at all pro Shade Concepts. The best patio shades available in all the world. And you can get them on your house. If you call them up right now, you get a estimate, they take a look at whatever you're looking at, saying you. You want shade here. You want to make your patio bigger. You want to make a spot in your backyard more livable in the summertime. You put these shades on there. They're custom built. They block up to 95% of UV rays, which are the bad ones. And dust and wind Gets cut down. They drop the temps up to 20 degrees. You got an outdoor space you can tolerate free installation, Right. And they cover the end. The installation's covered. You order it, and they're like, we'll come out there and just do it for nothing. Pretty awesome. And as the summer months heat up, more shade is good. There's only one place to get it all. Pro Shade concepts allprochade.com Easy peasy. Frady reported.

[Eddie]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Donald Trump]

Hello, world. We've made it.

[Eddie]

All right, a couple of baseless fun facts. The first white artist with a rap song on the Billboard R B chart.

[Brady Bogan]

Blondie, Vanilla Ice.

[Eddie]

Mel Brooks in 1982.

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[Donald Trump]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Say rapping Rodney.

[Eddie]

It was good to be the king. Based off the movie History of the.

[Brady Bogan]

World part one, that was a charting song. Yep.

[Donald Trump]

It's good to be the king.

[Brady Bogan]

But, oh, I guess Blondie. Blondie was rapping.

[Brett Vesely]

I heard that too.

[Eddie]

Fab five, that was. Yeah. Fab what? What year was that?

[Brady Bogan]

79.

[Eddie]

Not as high in the Billboard R B chart.

[John Holmberg]

I can't imagine Mel Brooks was higher.

[Brady Bogan]

In the r B charts. Yeah.

[Eddie]

R B chart you have.

[Brady Bogan]

It's good to be the king. It's good to be the King.

[Eddie]

It's 1982.

[Brady Bogan]

Wasn't an R B song, though. No, Rapture's more r B than that. You got any rapture? Give me the rap from rapture. Tell me which is the one of them I remember and the other one. I've seen history of the world a million times. All I remember is it's good to be the king. And that's all he said. I don't remember the words. This is rapture. Yeah, yeah, Rapture's great. And then the rap part in the middle was the first time ever that white America was exposed to it in a song they liked trying to find. This is proof. The 70s and early 80s were everyone was in a little drug coma. This song.

[Donald Trump]

Be pure. Take a tour, do the sword, I'll strain the rain.

[Brady Bogan]

Pain the train.

[Donald Trump]

You'll be singing in the rain. Say dump stop. Do pump rock.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it was eating balls and walls and cars. Yeah, with the people meat. That was rapid back in 1980 and people lost their minds over it. It was great. And the good to be the king is. I don't remember this at all.

[Donald Trump]

King of France. Check out my story while you do your dad.

[Brady Bogan]

Was he also the most Jewish guy ever on r B chart? But I was fine.

[Donald Trump]

We were hanging out.

[Brady Bogan]

You remember this? I don't I don't remember this version.

[Brett Vesely]

This is the one that hit the charts.

[Brady Bogan]

Good to be the king.

[Brett Vesely]

Now you see why it hit the charts.

[Brady Bogan]

He said it all through the movie.

[Donald Trump]

It's good to be the king.

[Brady Bogan]

And he would pee on that. Remember, he'd just walk up behind girls that were bent over and give them a thrust and hump them in the butt once. Yeah.

[Donald Trump]

Good to be the king.

[Brady Bogan]

And then he'd walk away. I. The bad part about that was I was doing that to people.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, Connie Christmas parties with co workers.

[Brady Bogan]

That's true. All right. We don't talk about that. We lose our jobs.

[Donald Trump]

They're gone.

[Brady Bogan]

They don't work. Back in 82, 83, when I was nine, I would walk up to people.

[Donald Trump]

It's good to be the king.

[Brady Bogan]

And they all laughed because they thought the impression was funny.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Connie said, your people run the business. So, I mean, that's probably why.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's what they would say. It's like, yeah, he's only eight, but he looks just like Mel Brooks.

[Donald Trump]

It's good to be the king.

[Brady Bogan]

By the way, Sean Phil's points out, and I want to know this now, was Mel Brooks the inspiration for the Beastie Boys?

[Eddie]

Good question.

[Brett Vesely]

Watch that, Beastie Boys.

[Brady Bogan]

Doc. I don't remember. And I don't remember in 1982, every black person in America with their arms in the air going, what's going on? But they should have been. We've had the Hill Sugar Hill Gang for how long? And Mel Brooks has the number one rap song in the nation.

[John Holmberg]

Kanye.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, Kanye was right.

[John Holmberg]

Kanye was right.

[Donald Trump]

The juice. Yeah, it's good to be the king.

[Eddie]

The mortar used in the Great Wall of China included sticky rice. That's one of the reasons it's held together so well.

[Brady Bogan]

Racist. That's racist. You're a liar. Birds would have. Birds would have eaten the wall.

[Eddie]

When you have it, dirt.

[Brady Bogan]

Birds don't care.

[Eddie]

When that hardens up, you can't pick it out of there.

[Donald Trump]

Birds don't care.

[Brady Bogan]

We had to stop using it at weddings.

[Eddie]

The interior wall. Then they put the other.

[Brady Bogan]

So they filled it with. Right. Let it snip on the wall. Let him spitball on the wall. Racist. Yeah. Do you hear? He started to do the architecture of the wall. Because he did. Because I made too much sense.

[Eddie]

Then they layered it in pot stickers.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

Kiosa.

[Brady Bogan]

And then everybody took a break and had a Coke. Or did they? Those jokesters.

[Eddie]

Reader's Digest.

[Brady Bogan]

By the way, all of you at home, if you have a paper to do on China. Don't include that. You're gonna get laughed out of your class.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God.

[Donald Trump]

Yeah, I understand the Great Wall of China's made of mostly rice.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, get out. Racist. We don't say stuff like that.

[Eddie]

And not just rice.

[Brady Bogan]

Sticky rice, Eiffel Towers. Mostly baguettes and cheese.

[Eddie]

Reader's Digest did a list of old timey slang terms that we should bring back. One of them's giggle mug. Someone who smiles too much or constantly has a grin on their face too.

[Brady Bogan]

Like the joker.

[Eddie]

Yeah, it's kind of the opposite of like resting bitch face.

[Brady Bogan]

What are you looking at? Giggle mug. What a wonderful thing to be cursed with.

[Eddie]

Saucebox.

[Brett Vesely]

Brett is on.

[Brady Bogan]

The saucebox is the best.

[Eddie]

Saucebox is your term for your mouth.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Sick of you listening to you shut yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

I still use sauce whole. My grandpa said that a lot for pie hole. Sauce hole's awesome. Sauce boxes outrageous. But saucebox now, thanks to pornhub Different. Well, they have a saucebox.

[Brett Vesely]

And that video we saw yesterday.

[Brady Bogan]

Ugh.

[Eddie]

Humblechook.

[Brady Bogan]

Humblechook Pumble.

[Eddie]

Someone who's greedy and pompous. It's the name of a character in the Great Expectations. Uncle Pumblechook. Wisconsin is the only state in the country and the only place outside of Switzerland where you be you can become a master cheese maker.

[Brady Bogan]

Your news feed's different than ours. And there goes Brady out there.

[Eddie]

State that requires a license to make cheese.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, he's not going there. Rules. Best thing is he finds that to be information that might be interesting to the masses, not just to a small isolated group of people who want to make cheese.

[Eddie]

The world's deepest underwater cave is in the Czech Republic.

[Donald Trump]

Blessed are the cheese makers.

[Eddie]

It's at least 1700ft deep. Yep, as far as anyone's been able to go. They still haven't been to the bottom of it.

[Brady Bogan]

Let us know when they get there. I will. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I'm Pins and needles.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

The FDA has issued a warning letter to a company that appears to be selling products containing human fecal matter without the approval of the agency.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, wow.

[Eddie]

Wait a minute.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you got to get that box. Check.

[Brett Vesely]

But you can get.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you got to get there. The box says, did you check for the fecal matter? Sure did. Okay, clear.

[Eddie]

The FDA wrote to human microbes, a company advertising itself as the world's largest and highest quality stool donor bank. The fecal microbiota therapy transplants is what they send people. It's basically to get your gut on track by using oh, yeah, that's been.

[Brady Bogan]

Going on for a while.

[Eddie]

And there's three ways you can do it. Through enema colonoscopy. And then they say, doesn't it seem other means intuitive to put it back?

[Brady Bogan]

No, it's actually very intuitive. I think it's smart because it teaches your poop what good poop looks like. And then. Yeah, and then. And then you start attacking it. It works like.

[Eddie]

That's how it works with C. Diff.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. For stomach disorders. Well, Cola Gord, you poop in a box and find out if you got colon cancer and you mail your poop to somebody. This one is the. Yeah, the. The fecal trans transplants. It's a. South park did a whole special on that too, where you had to get it back in. And it improves gut health. If you have a terrible C. Diff and Crohn's and all that stuff where your body doesn't do it right, putting something good in there kind of retrains it.

[Eddie]

The FDA just wants to make sure, you know, you can't just, you know, open up and everyone can drop a deuce and put it in the bank.

[Brady Bogan]

Like most medical, you know, deposits. Not for everyone. Not Abuela, not Mikasa. Sioux Hospital. Don't want to do one of those.

[Eddie]

And now it's time for some science news.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, sorry. Where is it? You have it. It's not playing.

[Eddie]

Hello, my friends, Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. A study last month declared that microplastics were found in every human testicle.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, not. I don't know. Mine weren't tested.

[Eddie]

I wasn't tested either.

[Brady Bogan]

I.

[Eddie]

But they're saying after testing so many. You know what?

[Brady Bogan]

Hold on. My phone has been hacked. Maybe they're doing something. I don't know.

[Eddie]

Now, a separate study just found the microplastics are in the shaft as well.

[Donald Trump]

Who did they test?

[Eddie]

Enough people to say everyone 100 in.

[Brady Bogan]

The test said, well, this proves it. It's got it. Because what we eat and drink. Told you anyway, things are manufactured and stuff and there's absolutely no recourse to this water.

[Brett Vesely]

I did go swimming in Thailand.

[Brady Bogan]

You have. You got Morton Plastic. It's so much like ladyboy sperm floating around inside. Oh, it's true. It crawled in every orifice he's got and his cute little Oakley swim trunks. Those weren't fish. Those were well fed sperms that just got bigger and bigger.

[Eddie]

They were giant.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly right. Yeah. That was a cesspool of mutants. You were the only one in the water in that video. Everybody else was smart enough to stay on the shore.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, they were going up on the slide. It's like Slide Rock.

[Brady Bogan]

Worse. That's why we're all. You're not selling it to them? Yeah. It's this that makes it slippery.

[Eddie]

If you don't like coffee, you might be able to blame it on your parents.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[Eddie]

A study by 23andMe found hating or loving coffee might be a genetic trait you inherited.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't care for coffee. My mom loves it. My dad doesn't drink it much.

[Eddie]

Researchers just found out that leeches can jump. The ones they saw were in Madagascar. They don't jump really high, but I wasn't there. They can clear some space. They got a little vert. We got a new dinosaur discovered. Loki. Ceratops. Similar to a Triceratops, but with a little more flair on the horns.

[Brady Bogan]

And a magic stick.

[Eddie]

I got a picture of the locust dinosaur now. Or what after Loki.

[Toledo]

Loki. Dinosaur.

[Brady Bogan]

Roar. I'm Loki. This is my magic little stick. Okay. It's kind of a neat one. He's got two heads. He's got a lower head. And then like a huge. It's like a huge shield stuck to the back of his neck. With two horns on top of that too. Yeah. I don't know how you find out. You found that thing that's kind of neat. They found that they had a rendering that precise immediately. Well, who's gonna prove them wrong? DNA. But I say you DNA it and build one.

[John Holmberg]

We've seen how that moves.

[Brady Bogan]

I know. And then you kill it.

[John Holmberg]

And then you get a different sequence.

[Brady Bogan]

Then you kill it. The problem was we got two. Jurassic Park's a good idea. One at a time. You build it and then you kill it. Then you sell it to homeless for food.

[John Holmberg]

Then you get Newman out there screwing everything up.

[Brady Bogan]

I know. Newman blew it. Hello, Jerry.

[Brett Vesely]

Build it in instant taxidermy is what you're saying.

[Brady Bogan]

No instant food production.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, you take the food out.

[Brady Bogan]

What happens with taxidermy? It is. Well, I guess that's true. But we don't need their heads either. Just in case somebody gets a wild hair. You burn it up. You burn up the remnants like the Indians used to do. You eat all the buffalo. They use their coats. And then you get rid of the. All the other stuff. Or let the world feed it. You don't go walking around piano.

[Brett Vesely]

I saw Flintstones.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. You may know one of their bones. Exactly. Historical documents don't lie. But we build one. We're like, hey, I found a New dinosaur. Wonder what it looked like. And you don't release it to us. You're patient. You're one of those archaeologist people. And you load up a DNA thing and you put it in a lab like you did species and you hope it doesn't break out. But if it does, it'll be easy to spot and you kill it. And then you chop it up and you give it to the zone and tell them it's something else. And they'll it. They're not going to complain.

[Eddie]

A company called Spin Launch wants to launch satellites using a giant catapult.

[Brady Bogan]

I want to see that.

[Eddie]

Me too.

[Brady Bogan]

I. I like our system of rocketry. How big would the catapult have to be to shoot you into space? It would have to bow out into the ocean.

[Eddie]

The two astronauts that Boeing set up in the new space station.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait, you're done with that last story? There's not more to that? No, just we want to use a catapult to shoot satellites.

[Eddie]

Yeah, that trebuchet that.

[Brady Bogan]

They're deciding there's nothing else in that story at all. Like why.

[Eddie]

Oh, I'm sure there is.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, okay. We'll be right back with more information. Toledo. Brett, you can't somebody look up a little bit more on that? I don't know. Uncurious. George over here is driving me nuts. How in the world did you read that and go.

[Donald Trump]

That's all I need to hear.

[Brady Bogan]

Where are they doing this?

[Donald Trump]

I don't know.

[Eddie]

Don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Damn it.

[Eddie]

It's not gonna happen. I'm saying no.

[Donald Trump]

So what?

[Brady Bogan]

That you say that you've done no research and you're just gonna poop on it? Why would it even be a story if it's not gonna happen?

[Eddie]

And even if it's, they like to tease these things.

[Brady Bogan]

Can I see a rendering of what they have planned? Do you know how big a space catapult would have to be? The arm of that thing would have to be miles long.

[Eddie]

Yeah. They enlight the fuse before. Like, it's not like a booster dog.

[John Holmberg]

Was a wily coyote.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. Acme. It's like a chuck it. Those things for dogs.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Now imagine how big it would have to be to throw the ball to space. Okay.

[Eddie]

I'm moving on to the next story.

[Brady Bogan]

He's done.

[Eddie]

We can look into it. You want me to look into it? I'll look at it.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I don't want you to look into it. I wanted you to look into it. You bring us the. The only interesting thing so far has been that.

[Donald Trump]

That's enough. Next story. Good Christ.

[Brady Bogan]

That's crack reporting. You didn't want.

[Eddie]

I might invest in a spin launch.

[Brady Bogan]

You didn't want to see that. You didn't want to see when you read that. Or did you. Is that the first time you've read that? No, read it earlier. Okay. When you read that earlier this morning. Whoa. You didn't think I'm gonna Google search space catapult?

[Eddie]

Yeah, I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

He was researching Cookie Dough Day.

[Brady Bogan]

That's Cookie Dough Day.

[Eddie]

It was so tempting.

[Brady Bogan]

I bet you that distracted me. I bet you his history. The only thing while he's looking at the news stories is like you can a couple of breaches over into. Where do I get cookie dough? Where's free cookie dough on cookie dough day? That's amazing.

[Eddie]

An asteroid the size of the Empire State Building will zip past us in 20. 20. 20, 2029.

[Brady Bogan]

That's millions of years. 20, 20, millions of years.

[Eddie]

2029.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, that's five.

[Eddie]

And it'll come closer to hitting Earth than any large asteroid in human history.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a picture of the catapult. It doesn't use any jet, fool. 10,000 times the Force of Earth's gravity to throw a satellite into space.

[Brett Vesely]

There's. You can't put anything living on it, can you?

[Brady Bogan]

I hope not. What if it fails and just goo.

[John Holmberg]

If it's just satellites, they don't.

[Brady Bogan]

You know. Yeah. They don't need people on them. But eventually you're gonna say, like, we can put people up here. If this is working. You just throw it. You, Dante Culpepper, that thing into the air. How about that?

[Eddie]

So it's like a poppet.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a poppet.

[Eddie]

Like you push the thing down. How does it. I don't see the catapult part of there.

[Brady Bogan]

Suddenly someone has. Somebody's got questions.

[Eddie]

I saw the pig picture right there. No interest.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Our crack reporter. No questions. Jones.

[John Holmberg]

Brady Watkins.

[Eddie]

Anyway, back to the end of the world in 2029.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it gonna hit us?

[Eddie]

They expect it to miss us by 19,000 miles.

[Brady Bogan]

That's pretty close.

[Eddie]

1/10 of the distance to the moon. And it's also happening on Friday the 13th.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it scooting in between us and the moon? 1/10 of the distance. That sure is.

[Eddie]

Well, that's the. Yeah, if it's inside of that.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, if it's one tenth of the distance to the moon and it's that close to us. That's close. Closer to the moon. We're gonna see that thing I've been.

[Toledo]

Warning you about an asteroid headed towards Earth for a long time.

[John Holmberg]

Call Bruce Willis and Buscemi.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, we gotta get some guys up there.

[Eddie]

A 3000 year old mummy was unearthed in Egypt.

[Brady Bogan]

Is this the catapult again? There's a video of the catapult. This is just getting better and better by the second. Oh, turn that off. I need to listen to a real news story. Getting things into orbit has always been the rocket equation. That is the vast majority of what it takes to get a rocket beyond our atmosphere is fuel. More than 90% of it. But what if in fact most of that fuel is not actually needed? Let's just hock it. I think it's going to be 105 today. Welcome to the high desert of New Mexico. They're in New Mexico. In a remote valley of New Mexico. Beyond gates that look like they're straight out of a science fiction movie. It is science fiction. An object that seems like alien technology towers above the terrain. Look at that. They simply let go and it travels outside of the vacuum chamber through the atmosphere. That looked like the picture of when in junior high when they teach you how a man inseminates a woman. Case is a carbon fiber. Look at the size of it. Which spins the launch vehicle or projectile until it hits 5,000 miles an hour and then just shocks it out. A little hole membrane hurtling towards space and eliminating the need to lift all that fuel used in traditional rockets. That's the future. Brady had it nailed. Not really. He had it. We didn't know anything about nailed it. Spinning and then goes up to 5,000 miles an hour. And then it just. It's like the discus. Yes, it does it like a discus thrower. Only if you can imagine him spinning at 5,000 miles an hour and then getting rid of the discus and the mist throws. Well, sure, if it goes off target a little bit. So long, Paris. Wouldn't terrorists get a hold of this fuelless machine? Everything we do that starts good ends up being a weapon. Oh. All you gotta do is tilt it down. Chuck a couple at la. Oh my goodness.

[Eddie]

In the United Kingdom we have a teacher that's in trouble. 30 year old math teacher Rebecca Joins is accused of grooming 15 year old boy. Taking him shopping for a Gucci belt worth about 430 bucks. And it was revealed the police during the interview the boy said she bought the belt and then drove him back to her apartment.

[Brady Bogan]

Get that belt off.

[Eddie]

Where they had unprotected sex.

[Brady Bogan]

Why is that part of it? What does that have to do with anything. Sex is all you.

[Eddie]

They took it to the next level.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

I bought you this belt.

[Brady Bogan]

No rubbers.

[Eddie]

The boy is identified as Boy A.

[Brady Bogan]

That's his name? His rap name, yeah. Oh.

[Eddie]

Because after she got caught and in trouble for him, the age of consent in, in the UK is 16. It's close, but it's 18 if you're a teacher. And since she was his teacher. So she got in trouble, got fired, and while waiting trial, she groomed another 15 year old boy.

[John Holmberg]

She's got a picture of her.

[Eddie]

And the first 15 year old boy said, I'm fine. She's, you know, I know she's 30, but she's pretty. And oh yeah, most of my friends are like, hit that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Boy A is awesome. Congratulations to Boy A.

[John Holmberg]

Boy B. Oh, sign me up.

[Brady Bogan]

No kidding. Nice. I'm pounding that. If she, if I'm 15 and she shows interest at all, it's happening.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Donald Trump]

You're mentally being damaged.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll get over it off. I'm Boy A.

[Brett Vesely]

Talk to me in five years.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna change. I'm changing my name to Boy A and I'm sitting in a room six hours a day. I'm failing all my other classes till she finds me interested.

[Eddie]

Being out on bail for grooming Boy A. And on top of losing her job, police say the teacher soon began to flirt with another 15 year old boy, Boy B. The teacher allegedly began exchanging messages with the child on Snapchat.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[Eddie]

After he learned about the news of her initial arrest, Boy B demanded, get your teas out for me.

[Donald Trump]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Good job, boy.

[Eddie]

She responded, not tonight. And then proceeded to send a picture of her butt.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, she was, oh, you got those pictures too. I'll tell you this right now. Boy B could spend 30 years in her classroom and learn less than he learned that day. Texting with her.

[Eddie]

Boy B says, as a young lad, I thought I was in there. I thought she liked me. That's pictures of her body sent to me. I asked if we could progress. The child said the teacher invited him to her home, which she said was awkward at first, but then we moved to the bedroom, got it on and got it on for 30 more times after that.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Donald Trump]

I love to get with you. I'd love to snog with you, Boy B, but I got a trial. Got to get through Boy A. Then it's all on, right? You and I going to get it together.

[Brett Vesely]

Boy A.

[Brady Bogan]

Picture, Boy B. I like Boy B.

[Donald Trump]

Boy A's caused a lot of Problems. Here's a picture of my bum.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Take a look at that.

[Eddie]

You can have that after my trial with boy A. After Boy B. Boy teacher is pregnant.

[Donald Trump]

All right, lock it down.

[Brady Bogan]

Boy B. Sorry about that, Boy A. I have.

[Donald Trump]

To choose boy B.

[Brady Bogan]

He got me. He put me in foal.

[Donald Trump]

Got a baby grown in my belly.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought I was your Boy A.

[Donald Trump]

Oh, you'll always be boy A. It's court record. You can't change that. You'll always be boy A, but your.

[Brady Bogan]

Semen wasn't as strong as boy B. Got my baby maker gone. I like that. And boy, and that's. Look, you can call it a double standard because it is, but that and a 15 year old boy, there's not a lot of grooming necessary. Necessary? Yeah. It's about five minutes of wanna have a snog with you, right? Yes, I do. I won't have that snog you're talking on. I might not be very good at it.

[Donald Trump]

That's all right.

[Brady Bogan]

And let's be honest, like, they say that like there's something wrong with her for wanting that. I've met women, I'm 51. Something wrong with all of them. Like all the ones that have met me that want to do stuff with me. Something wrong with them. If we went by something wrong with them being the deal breaker, there'd be like 3% of men having sex. There's something wrong with all the. I've seen the men that you've chosen. Ladies in this room, there are four women. I can firmly say there's something wrong with them. Oh, yeah? Yeah. For choosing this.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, 100%.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, none of them, them should be in the situations they're in at all. Now Brady thinks he's a seven and that Ronnie's the big winner, but society says otherwise.

[Eddie]

That's why I'm happy that Flip Orley comes in town every now and then.

[Brady Bogan]

No time. Yeah, it's not. Keep her under that spell and I'll get emails. You know, I was. If you're like 7 or 8, 10, 11, 12, you get into that. That 12 year old kid still got a story about Britney's war. 15. I mean, that was part of working at Tony Roma's. Half the busboys banged all the 27, 28 year old waitresses and they were the coolest kids in the world. And all of them are fine. My friend Matt, my friend Chad, this kid Chris boned two girls in one night. We thought we were gonna buy him a crown. And also evidently all you Red for ed. Teachers can all move over to England because they can afford. Afford to buy their kids 440 belts. Meanwhile, you're begging me for extra cash every year. Lisa should move to Staffordshire on Thump and go teach. We talked about it.

[Eddie]

On hump.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, yeah. Staffordshire on thump. 15 year old humpies.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Well, we've got a couple of good.

[Donald Trump]

Looking kids in the class this year.

[Brady Bogan]

Like you. You're gonna be boy C. If I had a 15 year old kid right now, I would.

[Donald Trump]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Not that way. I would print up Boy C shirts and send them to school. Next.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, just go down the whole Alphabet.

[Brady Bogan]

I used to know Reggie and Ron on Boy C is what is what you get with me. I'll keep my mouth shut. Text me your bum all day. No one's gonna know about it.

[Eddie]

And the one by senior year, still hasn't been any boy letter. It's Fenwick.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just a Fenwick graduate wearing a shirt says Boy Z. Please.

[Donald Trump]

Hi, Fenwick.

[Brady Bogan]

No. Again.

[Eddie]

Still no.

[Donald Trump]

Still no.

[Brady Bogan]

Open your books. Oh, open your shirt, love.

[Eddie]

No, I got a couple of radio videos. First one's a desert party.

[Brett Vesely]

You were on the jihad website in with your mom in Ohio.

[Eddie]

Not sure what they're celebrating. A birthday or.

[Brady Bogan]

Somebody just emailed, says, come on, John. Megan's sticking around because of all the Jew money. The other wives are the ones with issues. That is true. She's got Jew money heading her way. Don't think that's not the only reason. You're not wrong. I haven't figured it out yet.

[Toledo]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. The Best of Homework's morning sickness on 98 KUPD.

[Brady Bogan]

Speaking of doing something weird and dirty, thinking about this, I rode my bike yesterday. Not that I wasn't. Brett. Let me just. Let me start over. Let me start over. I was masturbating publicly yesterday. I understand that. Let me start over.

[Donald Trump]

Over.

[Brady Bogan]

I. I was riding my bike yesterday and Brett knows the area well. So I'm riding up Dreamy Draw. Yeah. So what I'm doing right now is just to get my legs back in shape for biking season. Cuz I don't like the bees and the snakes and they seem to be everywhere right about now. Although we're coming out of that time. I ride up Dreamy Draw. There's this little section where you're going through a neighborhood and then you stop and there's mountain I can run up. Just kind of jog up the hill and then come back. So I ditch my bike and I run up right there by some condos and some. And it's not like a condo complex, but like townhouses, I guess. So I ditched the bike in the bushes, hit the thing, run up the hill. And about halfway up the hill, I realized my shoes untied. I'm like. I got a mess on my hands. I stopped, tie my shoe, and kind of walk lazily up the rest of the hill. I'm paying attention to what's going on behind me because there's some, like, a car parked, and I don't think he saw me at all. So I get up on the top of the hill, and I looked down. The guy's getting out of the car, and he's got this bag. And he goes by. There's this, like, section where there's, like, a pool for a comp that's, like, on the mountainside. I'm on top of the hill. He kind of hides behind this bush. And he's got a camera, like a lens, but probably about the size of this microphone. Maybe like, 8, 10 inches.

[Eddie]

Big old zoom lens.

[Brady Bogan]

Not big, but big enough to notice that it's a zoom lens, right? And he gets behind this bush and sets up shot. I'm like, maybe he's a nature photographer. So I come pumping it down the hill a little bit, and I see a lady parked across the street from my. Where I've got my bike in the bush. I see her parked across the street. She gets out, gets in the back of her car, bag. I look back at the photographer. He's going crazy. You can't hear him. He's far away, but he's going nuts. Like, he's moving. And I know exactly where he is. She has no idea he's there. And then she walks with this bag from where she parked.

[Eddie]

She.

[Brady Bogan]

She passes, like, nine houses and then turns left down the street to walk to a house with a whole bunch. Something terrible was happening. I think I witnessed a private investigator or. I don't know what was going on, but, like, I wanted to tell her. I almost. I almost went over. And not for nothing, but whatever you're doing, somebody's photographing it. And I'm on my bike, and she's still walking. And I'm like. I kind of want to let her know, and I didn't. I was too afraid to be involved in it.

[John Holmberg]

Stay out of it.

[Brady Bogan]

One of the coolest things I've ever seen.

[John Holmberg]

Thought you're gonna tell me you lost another pivot up there.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go again.

[Brady Bogan]

I know my Bike is fine. All points bulletin. Well, the good news would have been that if somebody stole my pivot, I'm like, hey, picture man. Let's get on the. I've never seen that before. I've never seen it in action. He didn't like. He didn't see me at all. Which makes him either bad at it or didn't care. Or maybe not a private investigator. Maybe just trying to bust cash or drug transaction. What is going on?

[John Holmberg]

So I'm bringing somebody.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I thought too. Like, is she. But how bad is she at that? And what's in the bag? I mean, it was like a duffel bag.

[Eddie]

Yeah, that's not with a transaction of.

[Brady Bogan]

Some sort, maybe, but. But she was kind of dressed nicely.

[Donald Trump]

Yeah, that's right.

[Eddie]

Going in for an overnighter.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe at 4:30, 5 o'. Clock. I mean, 5 o', clock, she starts the overnighter.

[Eddie]

The summer airport, catch my flight, she stays here.

[Brady Bogan]

But she parked way down the road.

[Eddie]

Doesn't want anyone else to know.

[Brady Bogan]

Right, but if you don't want anybody else to know, you don't park where she parked and then walk in broad daylight with a duffel bag all the way down the street. Doesn't want anyone else to know. I knew. I'm an idiot and I knew.

[John Holmberg]

So you were by the houses over there.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what I'm talking. No, no, no, no, no. It was way up close to where the bridge goes over 51 to Northern. That road we take, that is mountain on the right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And then. But it's not like mountain yet. It's just a butte. Yeah, that's the mountain. I jumped up, I ran up. It was weird. And I really can't stop thinking about all the things that was there. Murder, she cleaning something up. Are they in on it together? Was this some sort of duffel bags? Right.

[John Holmberg]

I went to meet Sancho up there. You know, kind of like that's what.

[Brady Bogan]

I like to think. But then I wanted. But. So I stop my ride for a second, just kind of rode around. On my map, my ride app, there's this section where I'm just kind of meandering around the neighborhood real slow. Like I'm normally like 12 to 15 miles an hour just flying along. This one is a three. Barely moving. I'm going in and out of. I'm looking for. But I just went all the way down the road and went back. I don't know where she ended up, but it was. And to the private investigator, you know, keep an eye open, man. I could see you. It was so obvious that you were. If you're a PI, maybe he's just a stalker and he's gonna kill her. Or maybe he's a weirdo ex boyfriend and he's building one of those walls of her, you know, like in a one hour photo where he just takes a thousand photos and then makes a big picture out of all those photos of her. It was creepy. I've never seen that before. I was kind of like, what if.

[Eddie]

He'S filming for her too? He's taking pictures to record everything just in case something happens or goes down.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know, like long distance pictures to say she's doing it. Like she's. He's proving he's providing evidence to the cartel.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That she's actually doing what they asked her to do. It could be. I like that. I don't know. It was weird. And I'm. I don't.

[Eddie]

So many times you see those, you know, Nat Geos locked up abroad or whatever, they're delivering packages.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the thing I thought of too is those TV shows that I watch where there's always.

[Eddie]

Just drop it off at this address.

[Brady Bogan]

There's like a thousand photographs of the bad guy or the girl or the, you know, whoever's going in with Sancho and whatever. Somebody's got like a hundred pictures of them walking forward. I've never seen a private investigator actually in action. And I think that's what it was. But again, maybe not. Maybe a horrible murder is about to happen and this guy's been following her around. There's a restraining order. He can't get enough of her. She was a little thick in all the right ways, you know. Oh, nice. Nice. Yeah. Pair of jeans, flowery top.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going with horror.

[Brady Bogan]

I think so too. Horror seems to be the most reasonable one. Especially at five in the afternoon. Just got off work by the houses and she's got, you know, she walked to a house. She kind of, you know, nonchalant, but also didn't park in the right spot. But again, when her car was in, like, if she's trying to hide her car, she did a terrible job. It was on the. It was the busiest road. She could have parked way far away and then walked. But she parked like a little bit from the road. I don't know. It was. It was good stuff though. I. The whole rest of the ride I was thinking about like, what's going on. It's like a murder. Is she now in the throes of passion and that guy's going to go bust in and. And tell her he knows or is he going to take it home? I'm kind of hoping he's the husband. And then he took the pictures. And then when he. When she comes home, he's got them just laid out all over the place.

[Eddie]

What were you doing here?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, what are you doing? I.

[Donald Trump]

You following me?

[Brady Bogan]

What were you doing first? And then on the news later, I did watch just in case there was like a. Somebody was killed. And on Dreamy Draw because it looked bad. It doesn't look good.

[John Holmberg]

Stay out of it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, probably stay out of it.

[John Holmberg]

Could be another Jody Arias thing.

[Brady Bogan]

That's. I thought of her too. Brett, you and I are on the same page here. But I wanted.

[Eddie]

Curious to see how long she stayed in there.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, see, now that's why I wanted to roll up. I wanted her reaction when I just want to roll by. And in my brain, I came up with all the these things that I would say. I would roll by and go, hey, I'm a former private investigator, and I just noticed that you're being followed. I don't know what you're doing, and I don't care. And see if she keeps going, if she laughs or if she goes back to her car. And then my. Then my brain would have run wild with what could have happened if she'd have turned around, it's off.

[Eddie]

It's off.

[Brady Bogan]

And then I'm delivery. Then I'm in the picture and he's like, hey, somebody alerted her. Until, yeah, yeah, whatever. And I'm the rat. And so that's why breath to stay out of it. Hey, real loud. See if she turned around over here. I. You say don't get involved, but for the story I could have had, getting involved would have been great. If I could do it over again and I know that Jay Aerman is listening, and he'd be like, no, I would totally get involved now that I have it in my head what I would say. Because the whole rest of the bike ride, I'm thinking about scenarios and what I would have said and how I would have done this. And I would have gone over there and said. And that was my big takeaway. I'm a former private investigator, and I even came up with a name with this. I was. I thought of a guy played baseball with Brendan Jenkins. And I'm like, I'm Brendan Jenkins. I'm a former private investigator. And I'm. I just. And I would ride by real slow. I wouldn't stop, like you're being followed.

[Donald Trump]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

You're being followed. There's a guy taking pictures of you back there, and if I. Oh, damn it, I. That's what I want. A time machine for now.

[John Holmberg]

Remember Adriana from the Sopranos?

[Brady Bogan]

Damn it. Why do you got to bring that up? Well, she's just a rat. I'm not a rat.

[John Holmberg]

That could have been what she was doing, too. You never know.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm an observer.

[Eddie]

Well, you know, if you would.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know these people. Adriana knew who she was talking to.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just saying, if you would have.

[Brady Bogan]

Went up there.

[Eddie]

And approached her and said, I'm John Holmberg.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[Eddie]

She might have said, no. You look like Brady Bogan.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, she might not.

[Eddie]

You know.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, Brady confused to your. To your scenario. There, the sun was out. So if the sun had sunk a little bit lower behind Squaw Peak, formerly known as Squaw Peak Mountain, you might be right.

[Donald Trump]

You're Brady. I can't see very well when the sun's half down. You're so similar.

[Brady Bogan]

So I don't know what it was, but if I could do it again, all that stuff I had in my head. I came up with fake names. I and Brenda Jinx was a good one. That was a solid ending.

[John Holmberg]

Excuse me, ma'.

[Brady Bogan]

Am.

[John Holmberg]

I'm John Jay.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that's not bad. I'm John Jay.

[Donald Trump]

No, you're not.

[Eddie]

You look human, Agent John Jay.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I just wanted to. And I don't know why I came up with that. That I was the former. I watched way too much TV as a kid. That's what Magnum would have done. Magnum would have ridden by and said something like, hey, something. You're being followed. Follow me.

[Eddie]

Now, what if she said, you know, the bag was heavy and you could see it partially open. She goes, could you help me get this bag up there? And you saw there's cash in there.

[Brady Bogan]

There's the other thing.

[Eddie]

Would you deliver the bag?

[Brady Bogan]

Here's the Magnum PI Moment for me in the scenario is that she had that bag. And then I went by and said, you're being followed. Somebody's. Give me the bag. I'll put it on my shoulder, and right away we'll shake hands. Laugh. Shake hands. Laughing right away. Then go back to your car. I'll take off. If I see this car, follow me any further, I'll just dump it in the woods or something. I came up with, like, I rode for another hour.

[Eddie]

You'd have been alive for five more minutes.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, and then. Yeah, but how Great. Is that ending like, what was John doing? You guys have. Because I'm not really involved in this, but how great would have been the next day that I'm involved in a money drop and I get killed.

[Eddie]

Drug sting.

[Brady Bogan]

And then you guys are like, what the hell? Didn't we know about this? I knew it the whole time. And then I would be watching from a bubble brace like, he let me.

[Donald Trump]

I knew I. I knew I just called it. I didn't say anything just to see what his reaction would be.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you know, you guys all play know it all, even though none of it's wild. No, Brett, I got no idea what.

[John Holmberg]

Who's this? Who's this?

[Brady Bogan]

John? Yeah. Is Chuck Powell coming in this morning? What's going on?

[Eddie]

He's not the guy I work with.

[John Holmberg]

This guy Christopher brings up a good point. Could be paying a ransom, but.

[Brady Bogan]

So then the guy has to take photos of her. But I didn't take pictures of her going to the house. He took pictures of her leaving her car. And I'm not kidding. She walked five or six houses, made a left, and she had another. Because there's no houses where she makes a left. It's all side street that she'd have had to go.

[Eddie]

Instructed not to to park near the place. I mean, obviously, that is a reason.

[Brady Bogan]

Isn't it more obvious if a dummy like me is looking like, why are you carrying a bag that far? Go park in front of his house. I mean, it's not like there was a restricted parking lot or a gate or anything. She could have gone right over if it was not. They made it look a lot worse than it was. Oh, I do it all over. I would just go back right up to her, give her my fake former private investigator name, take the bag, say, I got you. Meet me at the bridge or something. I tell her something stupid like where we would end up meeting. I want to get involved in stuff like that. I want that kind of world. It is idiotic, but it is kind of. It's just a better life. Otherwise, I'm just riding around looking like a short life. Sure. It's not gonna be that long anyway, the way I'm going. It's. I just r word my way through this thing, and then at the end, it's like, I wanna. I kind of want a magnificent, magnificent story. I don't want to be a guy that just sits there on his, you know, getting ice chips shoved down his throat.

[Donald Trump]

More ice cream, please.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, I don't want my last few days just some Nurse giving me ice cream. And that's it. I want a story.

[Eddie]

Detective Broomhead. I just wanna.

[Brady Bogan]

Mike Broomhead from Detective Tactical. Tactical Detectives. I don't know. Listen to me. You're being followed.

[John Holmberg]

And Jim Cross would be in the bushes reporting.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, well, there he goes. The idiot's gonna get shot. Not real sure what he did that for. Jim Cross, go. I would love for. Yeah, I. I blew it. I blew it. Getting involved in that was the right route. I should have done. Damn it. Because it's just so interesting and you need wonder what's going. Like I always say, what's going on out there? Like, what's two houses down from me? You don't know what's going on. These houses, all this weird stuff that you watch the news just you're like. And you're always shocked when it's in your neighborhood.

[Eddie]

Well, you've seen a pretty good, you know, the hood that you've been living in for a while. You've seen porn shoots. You've seen.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, that was. That was Arcadia. That was Arcadia. And then that big crystal meth bust over on Bethany and. Well, it wasn't Bethany. It was one street up. I don't remember what that road is.

[Eddie]

Didn't you have a house of 25 people, too?

[Brady Bogan]

No, that was Arcadia, too. That was over by the village. Yeah, that was a while ago. But the meth house was the dude I was talking to. Because the day before, again, riding my bike and taking a little breather out after my big ride, just do a little whip around. And this guy had the coolest remote controlled cars I've ever seen. That when they jump on these ramps, no matter how they landed, they landed upside down or right side up. The tires were big enough that it was.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's launching these things down the street. I'm like, that's cool. He's got a kid. Next day, they raid this dude's house, and he's got like millions of dollars worth of coke and meth and everything else in there. It was like quarter mile from my place.

[Eddie]

I wish I would have gotten there early.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it was amazing. Yeah, that was a good one. Great one. And then that one time, I was just walking my dogs and I see a cop run by with an AR15 out. I'm like, is everything okay? Yep, fine. Get back to your house. Like, that's not. This is not good. And then I am standing with a labradoodle and a cairn terrier on the end of my road, and they had Some dude holed up in it.

[Eddie]

With your robe on and a pipe.

[Brady Bogan]

Several guys. Oh, no. What's going on? I don't like this at all. How many of you armed men are there? There were like 12 cops with AR15s all surrounding this house. And turned out some guy hold himself up in the house and was threatening to kill himself. They weren't sure anybody else was in there. They had cops, like, everywhere, all guns out. And me, Labradoodle and Karen Terrier guy. Is there anything I can do to help? I mean. Tea, anyone? I've seen some stuff. Stuff? I. I got my head on a swivel. I'm always looking. But this one was really interesting and it's like a Brian De Palma movie. I wasn't supposed to be involved, but I saw something yesterday and. Like what? Like Brett ran through my mind a few times. Don't call the cops. Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Keep riding.

[Eddie]

Your business.

[Brady Bogan]

It is, though, because it is in a couple of those pictures. Yes, it is, because there's no way when I was riding slow by when she was still walking that I'm not in a few of those photos.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter. The guy's gonna be. It's some cancer patient. Don't worry, he'll be fine.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not gonna do anything. Some poor Jew that's got about a month to live. What? Why do you say that?

[Donald Trump]

Move your nose. I can't get a good picture. I know where you are.

[Brady Bogan]

You're blocking the light.

[Donald Trump]

No. You're killing me, kid.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, wouldn't it be great if, like, the whole transaction was screwed up? Cause my nose got in the way of the last photograph. That was. That killed the drop. Like an eclipse. Yeah. And then this. Juno's gotten away. And by the way, speaking of that, yesterday, one of our listeners, Ben, he emailed me. Or. Yeah, he emailed me a little while ago and said, I got the Steeler stuff. I was curious if you wanted it. It's older, and it was kind of a knit hat, a German knit hat I made out of old Steelers championship beer cans, Iron City beer cans. And I'm like, sure, if you want to drive, that'd be great. So he drops it off yesterday. You know, I go down to say hi to him, and he goes, whoa. Oh, the nose. I'm like, you know what? Everyone can go. I'm just playing. I'm like, no, you're not. But that was generous. I appreciate you, dick. Whoa, the nose. Yeah. All right. So that was a cool hat. It's a neat Little knit hat. It's like a little yarn hat. It's got. It's cool.

[Eddie]

Looking at those old highlight reels where they're saying the Steelers running.

[Brady Bogan]

You know whose hat it is? It's Woodsy Owl. He wears a similar little hat to that, only it's black and gold. This one says, typical Jew, always wanting to be in someone else's business. Follow Bird's advice. What does that have to do with being Jewish? You know, other people's business.

[John Holmberg]

Putting your nose.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't belong. This one's I understand. Oh, it's good you didn't get involved, John. It might not be around to tell a story. You never know, bro. But isn't that even better? Doesn't is because watching Dateline NBC is the end. Like, that's the dream ending. I think for almost all Americans. We have a fascination with murder porn. We love it. And I think to be involved in it, like, the murder part would stink. But having that be your legacy and not be the murder murderer. Nobody ever looks at you. It erases everything.

[Eddie]

Part of Neighborhood Watch. And I'm just wondering, what are you doing here?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I've never announced it. You're. You're two. You're two. I want to be friends up front. I'm riding.

[Eddie]

I ain't messing with it.

[Donald Trump]

I'm gone.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, of all people. Yeah, exactly. Look at him, of all people. I don't believe a second of that. A girl walks by and she seems a little bit confused.

[Donald Trump]

Can I help you out? Mamo's looking through the only screen door in Arizona at you. Let's be new friends. Need help with that bag, madam? No.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't want anything to do with this.

[Donald Trump]

I do. I'm the happiest neighbor you'll ever know.

[Eddie]

Got any food in that bag?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump]

Smells like pizza. Are you a pizza man? You're very pretty for a pizza man.

[Brady Bogan]

Not a pizza man.

[John Holmberg]

Is that Cross Brothers?

[Donald Trump]

Go away.

[Eddie]

I'm not familiar with Hordash.

[Brady Bogan]

First I got this Jew following me on a bike, and now this down syndrome kid won't let my bag go.

[Donald Trump]

I was always taught by my mom to help a lady in distress.

[Brady Bogan]

Not in distress. God damn it. Let go of the bag.

[Donald Trump]

Oops.

[Eddie]

Some stacks fell out.

[Donald Trump]

That's too heavy for you. As a gentleman, I want to be chivalrous.

[Brady Bogan]

You get involved? In a heartbeat.

[Donald Trump]

Can I help you out with something?

[Brady Bogan]

It was weird, though, I'll tell you that. I want to go back.

[Eddie]

I want to know what the photographer was doing after that.

[Brady Bogan]

He didn't fight. Like, I couldn't find him. After I. I went down and then kind of cut around the back end of this neighborhood. Started to go back a little bit and his car was gone. And I watched him. He didn't see me. I was up on the side of the hill coming out of this. But it wouldn't have mattered if it was me or anyone else. It was as daylight as daylight can be. And he just jumped up behind this little set of like, there's a little set of bushes on this other trail that goes under, under the 51. And he just kind of set up shop back there. I'm watching him like, what's that guy too?

[Eddie]

What if he had backup?

[Brady Bogan]

Where's the other?

[Eddie]

Some guys been watching you.

[Brady Bogan]

Watch me? Oh, you know, to kill me in case I get too close. And they're just dumb because, I mean, there's a lot of people hiking by. This is a very well traveled road for people just so. So happened yesterday that it wasn't that. Anyway, it was pretty awesome. And if I do it again, I. I definitely ride by. You're being followed. Follow. Meet me at the corner of the bubble and then have her, you know, I don't know what's going on. And if she follows me, then it's more interesting because now she is like, oh, he's helping. It's like a video game. I played way too much Grand Theft Auto and things like that. You get a little helper that comes by. Don't go in that house. Whatever you're doing, you. Somebody knows about it and it's not good.

[Eddie]

Then it would end up like, how much you got in there? Got 2 million. That's just you and I take off and go somewhere and hide.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Yep. Yep. If she's like, if I said, what do you have in the back?

[Donald Trump]

I've got millions in the bag. I don't know what to do.

[Brady Bogan]

I do. We're getting married.

[Donald Trump]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

You heard me.

[Eddie]

Live on a beach.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna leave my bike right here. People are gonna think it's me and we're taking off. We're gone.

[Donald Trump]

I love you so much.

[Brady Bogan]

I know. I'm a hero. Let's go. That's how my scenarios always end.

[Donald Trump]

You're just gonna throw it all away?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. $5 million. We're gonna disappear. We're gonna move to Ajo for a year. Just kind of settle ourselves. No one will look there. We're going to plan ourselves then ajo. That's the plan exactly. For a year.

[Eddie]

And then we'll make our way back to New Hampshire.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah. Back to the barn in New Hampshire. Oh, God damn. No one will suspect a thing. This is all good. Yeah. All of my scenarios ended with her thinking, I'm a hero, and, like, how.

[Donald Trump]

Much can I blow you for this?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, that bill never fully gets paid, madam, but my pleasure.

[Donald Trump]

Okay, let's do this.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. But more than likely, she was just dropping off some invalid's laundry, and some stalker was taking photos of her changing a diaper, and she didn't want the guy to see her car because it's like, ugh, then he'll know what kind of car I've got. So she just walked in. But it's probably a whole lot less interesting than I was making it, but it was pretty neat to see. And private investigators, pretty good gig. I would very much like to watch that again. It says, I hope it was a Mike broomhead text. I hope it was an undercover operation by Phoenix pd And Holberg just exposed it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Way to go.

[Brady Bogan]

They're terrible at it. Then, Mike, come on. You can't go undercover as badly as that. The dude walked into bushes while I was hiking with within, you know, a couple hundred feet of him. He did not see me at all. And I could see him from his angle because he was just trying to make it so she couldn't see him. I could see him the whole way till I got even with the road when he was hidden behind the bushes from my pers, I walked right down the hill just looking at him and screwing something onto his camera and then taking this picture. And it was like 1990 with some big, weird, long camera lens, which makes me think also, it might not be anything other than some boyfriend chasing his ex around. She did have a pair of very tight jeans on, and that flowery shirt she had on looked fresh, you know, not like it had sat through a day of work. So my other guess is she had a butt plug in, and then butts were in play in about five minutes, and that was what was in the bag. Wigs and toys and giant dildos and stuff. God, I need to go. Brad, if we were together, would you have gotten involved? No.

[Donald Trump]

Why not?

[John Holmberg]

I kept riding.

[Eddie]

It's a twofer.

[John Holmberg]

No. Peace out, John Jay.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not getting involved. I'm out of here. Why wouldn't you? Oh, you. If you were with me, I would have definitely done it. If you were with me, I'd have definitely ridden over.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't have known because I'd have been still Right.

[Brady Bogan]

You would have stuck around. I had a road all the way.

[John Holmberg]

Back to my house on the bicycle.

[Brady Bogan]

Screw that. Anyway. Well, it was interesting. I. I can't. I can't live like this with that much interest and then realize how boring everything I've got going on.

[Eddie]

Hey, there's a better angle. If you go up about 25 more feet, tell the guy.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And you know what never crossed my mind? Talking to him. Never in my life. And in movies, that's what happens. The one guy comes up behind the guy taking pictures, goes, you're terrible at this. What are you doing? Leave me alone. What are you doing? I kind of want to go back. I wish I could go back there and do it again. Brett, we're gonna ride around there for a little. You know what would be interesting? If I went back again today.

[Eddie]

You didn't. You didn't.

[Brady Bogan]

She was there again.

[Eddie]

Stick around to see the exact place that she went into.

[Brady Bogan]

No, because it would have been real obvious, because by the time I got to the bottom of the hill, she was still walking. So it's. It's like. It must be like four houses, then a turn. And I don't know if it's like a cul de sac or a side street, but there's no houses for a little bit. And then there's another little. I don't know where she went, but had I gone. Had I gone any slower? I'm in on it. I just didn't know what to do. But I did watch her turn. And then she was still walking down that little side road when I blazed by. And then when I tried to go back, I couldn't find anybody. Anyway, two.

[John Holmberg]

Two people have basically said the same thing. Maybe it was some weird fetish thing going on. The bag probably had a bunch of sex toys in it.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody else that ran through my mind.

[Brady Bogan]

I was like, maybe she's just a hooker with. But why park so far away? Why do you want to get your.

[John Holmberg]

Car noticed and stuff?

[Donald Trump]

By who?

[John Holmberg]

What if it's. What if a guy's old lady shows.

[Brady Bogan]

Up, you got a bag full of dildos in his house.

[Eddie]

Now you gotta run away.

[John Holmberg]

Make sure the dog eats them all. Like the underwear story the other day.

[Brady Bogan]

Just starts shoving them down. The German shepherd, here's King Dong, here's whatever dog.

[John Holmberg]

Starts vibrating while it's walking.

[Brady Bogan]

He's got butt plucks with diamonds in them. And. Yeah, that doesn't make sense. We're afraid to get caught. So I got a further like you find a better route to the car, especially if you're carrying a bag of goods. And if his old lady comes home, as Brett says so delicately about the wife, he just stuffs that under the bed, I suppose. I don't know. And then the hooker has to bounce out the wind. I don't know. It's all so convoluted and fun. There I am in a pair of shorts that were way too short for a bike ride yesterday, by the way. I had to keep worrying my nuts were coming out of these things. I don't know what happened. But the wind.

[John Holmberg]

Katie KB on the back of them.

[Brady Bogan]

They might as well. The wind kept catching the butt. The wind kept catching them. I'm like, might as well. I had a bikini on. The thing was just riding, riding up. Damn it. And I was in a sweatshirt. I look like a big R word on a bike.

[John Holmberg]

That's probably why they didn't bother with you.

[Brady Bogan]

He's not. He's not gonna remember this. Look at him.

[Eddie]

Bald guy in the Richard Simmons.

[Brady Bogan]

And then he pulls the thing down. You know what that might be, Brady. We'll get some close ups of him, but I don't know what's going on. Maybe they were following me and he was trying to make it look like he was following someone else. And they're chasing me around. They got a real show yesterday, that's for sure. Idiots.

[Eddie]

Idiots.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. So the guy's looking at everything he just did. He might have just been taking pictures of bugs too. The whole thing might have been just. This guy's a nature photographer and he saw some.

[Eddie]

Got a nest of a red belly sapsucker he's had.

[John Holmberg]

And he's a bigger R word than you.

[Brady Bogan]

I know baby whales and whatever he doesn't want to. And there I am thinking it's like the most intricate drug drop sex. Just. It was a great movie in like a minute and a half in my life. And I made a last minute decision to run up that hill too. I'm like, I'll just ride. And I'm like, no, John, you're in cardio mode. This is what you've decided to do. Drop the bike, hit the hill, come back down, finish this ride. And so I stopped and ran the hill and saw. Anyway, if you're a private investigator and you happen to be up on Dreamy Draw yesterday, A, button it up a little bit, B, let me know what's going on. I won't say this one says, john, my youngest son is a private eye. He does Stuff to bust like disability and workman's comp fraud. She might be faking. He doesn't use a camera. Phones these days are much less obvious. Yeah, he, this dude had a thing. He had. It's a. It was about the size of this microphone.

[John Holmberg]

How far was he away from her?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I was probably the bushes to me was probably about 50 yards, 60 yards. She was another 15 across the road. So he was. I don't know. I don't know. It wasn't terribly far. But as she walked, walked away from him, she got within 2, 300ft away as he was.

[Eddie]

That could be. I mean, you know that workers comp thing where they said, oh, I can't.

[Brady Bogan]

I can't walk, I can't lift anything, I can't. And there she is carrying a bag of dildos into the sex shop. Yeah, that's. I'm keeping the dildo bag for the store. Even if it's just something as simple as workman's comp. That's interesting. Well then if she's. Ah, but where's she going? All right, story adds up, but it doesn't. Unless she's taking time off, getting paid by her job and whoring around with somebody's husband. All of it's good.

[John Holmberg]

I like that one.

[Brady Bogan]

I like that one too. Says, how do you keep your click clack balls from going in spokes and baby shorts? Well, I have some compression shorts underneath, but those weren't doing me any favors either. I had a bad outfit fit on you and then. Look at this. I'll show you this. This was me trying to. Oh no, I deleted it. This was me trying to get like to photograph what was going on and I accidentally took a picture of my own face on the bike because my, my phone's on the handlebars.

[Eddie]

Flip it around.

[Brady Bogan]

I did flip it around and then it's just me leaning over a phone way too close, talking about our work. Ah, what are you gonna do?

[Donald Trump]

Captured all on film.

[Brady Bogan]

And guy over there dressed a little like Richard Simmons, taking photos of himself and going, me too involved. Brett, we're going riding today. No, meet me at my house about 4:30.

[John Holmberg]

Nope, not there.

[Brady Bogan]

We're hitting straight up dreamy drawn. We're just going to run the hill. You stay at the bottom, I go at the top. You hide in a bush. If that broad shows up again, we'll.

[Eddie]

Know where the next necklace with the big Italian horn on it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, so the photographer won't get a mess with us. That's right. I bet she's got a big Italian horn in that bag. Anyway, my day yesterday started off so. So bland, so boring. So nothing. And then death, which is probably nothing else. Could have been so much better. And then I'd have met Keith Morrison. And then the innocent bystander showed up out of nowhere. And sometimes that happens. We talked to John about it. What were you doing on that hill? I was just running the hill, Keith. And I thought, you know, what's going on with this guy with the camera? He had no idea what he was about to get into, but he involved himself. And now the authorities had questions. Why were you wearing a butt plug? It's a long ride and there's little joy. Anyway, that's none of your business, Keith. I'd like to talk to my lawyer. In baby shorts and a sweatshirt. This R word ran a hill. Four in the afternoon in 100 degree weather.

[Toledo]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Brady Bogan]

Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed.

[Toledo]

The rest of homework's morning sickness. This is the Big RIP Radio.

[Brady Bogan]

It's John Holmberg here. And thank you for listening to the best of holmberg's morning sickness. 2024 in the books doesn't mean you can stop taking care of yourself. You have to forge forward into the new year. And don't do it with resolutions or silliness. For crying out loud. Call my [e-mail] you got a couple more days to take advantage of their amazing deal. Hombergen train. Get you two months of training for 199 bucks. Turn you into a sheepdog. Keep you from being a sheep. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical Black Rerun Brady. Entertain me.

[Eddie]

Someone put a list together of the five most overplayed songs at sporting events. I bet you we can.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, Rock and roll part two or whatever that is. Yeah.

[Eddie]

That did not make the top.

[Donald Trump]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

ACDC's back in blacks. Probably in there. Thunderstruck.

[Eddie]

Thunderstruck is number five.

[Brady Bogan]

Life. God, I don't. You know what? It's not. I'm drawing a blank. And I go to so many.

[Eddie]

All on our station. Just about. Well, one.

[John Holmberg]

Borderline fuel.

[Brady Bogan]

Enter Sandman.

[Eddie]

Enter Sandman. Number one.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, fuels. Yeah, fuels it.

[Eddie]

Fuel's not on there. Not in the top five. Welcome to the jungle.

[Brady Bogan]

Hell's Bells would be another one that I would.

[Eddie]

Seven nation Army. That's even. That's.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. They throw that out there quite a bit. You're right. I don't know.

[Eddie]

Crazy Train was number four.

[Brady Bogan]

Nah, hockey has a lot to do with that. Football and hockey play a lot of rock.

[Eddie]

There are 13 rules that you have to follow if you're gonna be my teenage daughter.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh. To be a bachelorette, one kicked off last night. I know.

[Eddie]

Yeah. First one's minimum age requirement. 21. Must be at least 21. There's no upper limit, though.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you'll be like 90.

[Eddie]

You can be 100.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a limit. They just don't say it. It can't be ages.

[Eddie]

Contestants must be single.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a good start.

[Eddie]

But there are a couple that have it on there with it. They say they're saying single, but they're murky. Murky relationships. Contestants must agree to be filmed 24 7. And all the footage is owned by the show and they can use it however they want.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly right.

[Eddie]

Contestants can't disclose they've been cast.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they got a lot of NDAs and stuff about when they're cast and.

[Eddie]

When they're starting that off.

[Brett Vesely]

And they're quick to kick them off. I've kicked a few off.

[Brady Bogan]

And they can't see each other after the show wraps up until it airs. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

[Eddie]

That's the last one.

[Brady Bogan]

The last episode.

[Eddie]

You got no spoilers after filming wraps because they. No Internet.

[Brady Bogan]

Also because somebody will follow them around, see that they're with that one guy.

[John Holmberg]

So they just gotta hide in seclusion, basically.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it's like a month and a half. They just have to kind of stay away from everybody from the show. Oh, even the losers. Like, because one of them, they broke up pretty soon after the show ended and she started to date. At least verb on the phone and stuff. One of the guys she kicked off.

[Eddie]

You're like this one. Contestants don't normally eat on dates. Producers actually send food to their rooms before the date, so they're not hungry and they don't eat the food. Yep. So because the mic picks up everything.

[Brady Bogan]

I've noticed too. They'll have these glorious plates of food, and they never touch it.

[Eddie]

Never touch them.

[Brady Bogan]

Like steaks and like, perfect baby carrots and like au gratin. Like, you see the whole deal. Lobster. And they never touch it. You know what I would like to be? Homeless living near the Bachelor mansion. Because at the end of the day, you're getting some fine ass cuisine.

[Eddie]

The crew.

[Brady Bogan]

Because, well, you think the crew just takes. They don't give it to the homeless. Oh, maybe that could be like the crew eats. All right, never mind. They'd like to be on the crew tell you. Screw the homeless. I'm with Brady. The crew eat the lobster.

[Eddie]

Contestants have to endure long row ceremonies.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

They film a lot more than what you see on tv.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure, there's a lot of editing.

[Eddie]

No Internet. Limo entrances are strategically arranged. Producers choose the order contestants come out to make things as dramatic as possible. No cell phones. There's a dress code. A lot of people have to do things to avoid patterns that clash on camera. Like stripes and small checkers. Big patterns.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't know.

[Eddie]

Solid whites.

[Brady Bogan]

Checkers. Checkers are no good for tv.

[Eddie]

Contestants bring their own clothes. Although the bachelorette often gets to work with a wardrobe person, they put him.

[Brady Bogan]

Through the star wash. The show is very interesting and it's more fun when it's one girl trying to bone 30 guys.

[Eddie]

Contestants may be asked to take physical and psychological tests.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe they should all.

[Brady Bogan]

No. Yeah. No. They wouldn't have a show. They wouldn't have a show. You got to have the nut.

[Eddie]

Producers want drama.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

But not nothing too crazy. This 75 year old journey fan in Cleveland got bilked out of some guy said he was Steve Perry. Scammed out $122,000. Steve Perry from Journey?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

And I've got this new project I'm working on.

[Brady Bogan]

He just needs a stranger.

[Eddie]

$72,000 one time and then another.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait, 60. There's a missing piece. How did he get in contact with this Steve Perry?

[Eddie]

To Facebook.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, so Steve Perry on Facebook asked a stranger for $100,000 to really put him over the top.

[Brett Vesely]

It was Steve Perry. 525, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. They can't get Steve Perry can't get anybody in the record world to fund his new song.

[Eddie]

He had a business opportunity.

[Brady Bogan]

Smart.

[Eddie]

And he was also looking for a woman in his life.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, is it a lady that did this? Yeah. They're susceptible. Those are susceptible. Blinded by the whole idea. Life may not have worked out these first 73 years, but finally her. Her ship has come in in the form of Steve Perry. And all it's going to Cost her is 100K.

[John Holmberg]

Was her name Sherry, too?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God. If it was Sher.

[Donald Trump]

Steve Perry and I are gonna get married. And I paid him $100,000.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you have no friends, Mom? Do you have no friends? I know you've told people this story.

[Donald Trump]

What's wrong with it?

[Brady Bogan]

What isn't wrong with it? Dumbass. Consistent reviews.

[Eddie]

The Way out west music festival in Sweden will beam audio from the live performances into an IVF lab because supposedly music and vibration Increase the chance of successful fertilization by 5% in the lab.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

They'll beam the music into, like, where.

[Brady Bogan]

The eggs and the sperm are playing in tubes.

[Eddie]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Brett Vesely]

For a 5% increase.

[Eddie]

Queens of the Stone Age.

[Brady Bogan]

You're paying a lot of money, Pulp, you are.

[Eddie]

Pulp is one of the bands.

[Brady Bogan]

Pulp makes it so your. Your tube babies grow.

[Eddie]

Well, Queens of the Stone Age will be there, too.

[Brady Bogan]

This kind of technology. Why is Margot Robbie pregnant? God damn it. Put her eggs in a tube, Christ's sake. Pulp.

[John Holmberg]

I want a little taste of pulp.

[Brady Bogan]

Pulp makes me want to abort myself right now. Trying to remember, P. Yeah, I was just gonna say that. We just played this. Four babies grew in tubes.

[Donald Trump]

And they said that when we grew up, we get married and never.

[Brady Bogan]

I would. I would be Satan in one of those egg baby tube stores. Oops. Forming little glass abortions every day.

[John Holmberg]

Use that song in my Sprite commercials. Sprite and Graham crackers for everybody.

[Brady Bogan]

Right when it starts to jiggle the tube a little and you see that it's working. Oops.

[Eddie]

Man, the vibrations are working.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, they are. The glass broke.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Sorry.

[Eddie]

Elton John was shopping at a shoe store in Nice, France, called Sugar Kicks.

[John Holmberg]

Shocking.

[Brady Bogan]

He could not avoid that store. I don't care what they sell in sugar cakes. Elton John was going in there. Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

He's with his two sons and a bodyguard. And when he asked the owner if he could use their facilities, guy told him, nope, there aren't any.

[Brady Bogan]

Not enough room for the doctor.

[Eddie]

Got a bottle from his bodyguard, took a few steps away from the other customers and peed in it. And he got a little on the floor, had his bodyguard wipe it up with a towel. The shop owner didn't recognize Elton, but for some reason, he asked what he did for a living, and Elton's answer was, I'm Elton John.

[Brady Bogan]

Meanwhile, he's on the phone to the cops going, some fat old lady just took a piss all over the floor. I think she's abducted a couple of young kids.

[Eddie]

I guess some people sided with Elton, like, don't tell a customer. You got to have a facility for us. Don't.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[Eddie]

You don't like. No.

[Brady Bogan]

And Elton John doesn't get to pee in a bottle and get, like, special. If I did that, people would. I'd still be in trouble. If you did that, we'd be in trouble.

[Eddie]

He bought two. Two pairs of kicks for his kids.

[Brady Bogan]

Leave on. Levon likes his money. Some old lady is singing Elton John songs, and pissing in a can makes.

[Donald Trump]

A Lot to say.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you taking a dump? I'm Elton John. I don't care.

[John Holmberg]

Yellow prick. Rose, get out of here.

[Brady Bogan]

You send it, old twink. How dare you talk to me like that? I'm Elton John. Daniel is traveling tonight on a plane. Get your dick back in your pants. What are you doing?

[Donald Trump]

You're in public. You've got kids.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know how, but you've got kids.

[Toledo]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. The best of Homburg's morning sickness. This is the big red radio.

[Brady Bogan]

Here we go. We're ready to go with these here Guadalupe Squares, I believe. I think we're all ready to go. Yeah. Everything's there. No mo today. She's got something else to do. Yeah, we don't know. Look at the smile over there. God knows what's going on in this building. People don't show up for work. We assume the worst. God don't want so much. Since this building open like the CDC should be here sometimes. Anyway. It is time now for the Guadalupe Squares. With our backup host, Mr. Toledo Bergeron. Richard.

[Eddie]

Thank you, Johnny.

[Brett Vesely]

In the upper left square. Fresh off of last night's trouncing. It's president.

[Donald Trump]

Didn'T chance at all.

[Eddie]

You did a great job yesterday.

[Donald Trump]

Finish your thought a little cool. Billions and millions and billions didn't say anything. People on the border. This guy's a clown. Also. We beat Medicare.

[Brady Bogan]

Help me out.

[Donald Trump]

We finally beat Medicare.

[John Holmberg]

I don't speak that Brad.

[Donald Trump]

We beat Medicare.

[Brady Bogan]

You're tired.

[John Holmberg]

What is this guy talking about?

[Brett Vesely]

There's the freeze.

[Brady Bogan]

How you doing?

[Donald Trump]

I was gonna beat you in a drive contest.

[Eddie]

What's your handicap?

[Donald Trump]

Let's get this. What's a good handicap?

[Brady Bogan]

8.

[Donald Trump]

Mine's a 3.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that better?

[Donald Trump]

No, it's 5.

[Eddie]

6.

[Donald Trump]

I'm not handicapped at all, Jill. Joe walked me down the course of that handicapped idea.

[Brett Vesely]

What idea? You didn't finish one idea last week.

[Donald Trump]

We beat Medicare.

[Brady Bogan]

We beat.

[Donald Trump]

Medic. I got a little cold.

[Brady Bogan]

I got. Understand.

[Donald Trump]

I got a little cold.

[Brett Vesely]

Can you sit down then and not breathe on anybody? In the middle square, he's performing down.

[Donald Trump]

I called for the Dalai Lama. One time. I called for the Dalai Lama and he gave me some advice.

[Brady Bogan]

He said.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the most coherent thing you've said.

[Donald Trump]

Which means inner peace. I got that going for me. I got that going for me.

[Brett Vesely]

Enjoy your. In the upper middle square. He's performing downtown at Stand Up Live. This weekend's Tracy Martin.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm live with Stand Up Live.

[Donald Trump]

That's what they call it.

[Brady Bogan]

They don't call it stand up dead.

[Donald Trump]

They don't call it stand up on tape.

[Brady Bogan]

It's stand up live. I have to be there. How you doing? You sound like I'm the Febreze scout.

[Donald Trump]

I was just gonna say, guess where.

[Brady Bogan]

I was last night.

[Donald Trump]

In Atlanta. I was in Atlanta.

[Brady Bogan]

I was behind the presidential debate.

[Donald Trump]

And when Joe Biden needed a rest.

[Brady Bogan]

He sat on me. So I smell terrible. Something wrong with me.

[Donald Trump]

I smell like pooping old man.

[Brett Vesely]

So you're saying he's got a leak?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm saying he's got a couple leaks.

[Eddie]

Febrezin.

[Brady Bogan]

I got Febreze that braised, right? Febreze that man. I bet you Joe Biden's pants smell like a sewer. 100%.

[Donald Trump]

And I bet you Donald Trump's pants.

[Brady Bogan]

Smell like a prostitute. Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

How do your pants smell?

[Brady Bogan]

My pants smell fresh like Febreze because.

[Donald Trump]

That'S what I am, a Febreze couch.

[Eddie]

Is that the pregnant scent?

[Brady Bogan]

I get a pregnant. Yeah, this is smell of. This one smells like pregnancy. And this one smells like placenta.

[Donald Trump]

It's a before and after Febreze.

[Brady Bogan]

Spray. Spray placenta on that.

[Donald Trump]

It can't be worse than what Joe did.

[Brady Bogan]

I'd rather have be covered in placenta juice than what Joe's got going on.

[Brett Vesely]

In his trough spread last night.

[Brady Bogan]

Whatever he's got going on, spray some placenta on that. I like the smell of placenta. That means job's done in the upper right square.

[Brett Vesely]

He's here to celebrate a victory lap over last night's. I have to say, former President Trump.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Exactly. Thank you, Rich. Thank you, future President Trump. I like to call myself. It's very easy, I have to say. I've been against the charges that have been railed against me lately. You know, the 34 felony counts seem to have helped. I'm not a felon. I'm not a felon. But after last night, I have to turn myself in for elder abuse after.

[Brady Bogan]

Beating the living out of that old man.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

What a great night for me. I beat the crap out of an elderly gentleman. And murdering an elderly man on TV isn't pretty, but I did it for America. And you're welcome.

[Brady Bogan]

You're welcome.

[Brett Vesely]

Probation violation.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

I got it done. Let's not be children. It's not. I'm not on probation yet. Let's not act like kids.

[Donald Trump]

I'd be in a long drive contest.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Okay, Joe. I'm sure that would happen. Luxurious beating last night. You got a gold star beating. That's right. I crushed You, I crushed you like a grape. And actually a grape would have put.

[Brady Bogan]

Up a little bit more of a.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Fight because the skin is thicker on a grape than it is on this pot sticker. That's for sure. What a great night for me.

[Brett Vesely]

It's good that you feel some guilt about it.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

I don't feel any guilt. I really am proud of it. But I do know it was illegal to beat a man that hard all over a television set. Me, there were cameras everywhere. I was. It was like op live, just beating the crap out of an old man.

[Donald Trump]

Well behave.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

I felt well behaved. And in the end that was just an abusive thing. Check it out. I put out a DVD of it. I don't know if people still do that. Trump fights where I just wander around and beat the living out of elderly men who can barely stand up without the help of their wife. And I think that's adorable. I think it's great. You know, Melania isn't there to hold my hand because I'm upright. I am Australopithecus africanus. I can stay on my feet. Jill had to come out and walk him down a stair. It was tough.

[Brett Vesely]

Who's next on your fight list?

[Brady Bogan]

Next on my fight list.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

I think Easter squids on there. I've seen him. He's 90. I got that. Kimbo Slice was a good friend. He trained me well as a big, big Kimbo fan. Big Kimbo down in Florida. Mar A Lago. I used to let him train on the grounds of Mar a Lago. Yeah, it was great. I had Mark last night. I had a couple of moments there. I almost tried to. I tried to hold back a laugh when we beat Medicaid. I mean, tell me that America didn't giggle at that. That was a weird one. I don't think he knows what he's doing.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, sir, we'll rest your fist for a second.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll get back.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

I also used to love a guy named Brady Bean. Not Butterbean. Brady Bean. He used to fight at Mar a Lago. I think we both know who that ring is.

[Donald Trump]

Fighter.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

He's a pit fighter. The thick, short, low to the ground, tough to get down. I'm not going to fight him until he's 80, but I will fight an 80 year old man. Line him up and I'll knock him.

[Brett Vesely]

Down like bowling pins in the middle, left square. He's about to be immortalized in cartoon form as a superhero.

[Donald Trump]

It's Ozzy Osborne. I'm Phoenix. Hello. Hello, Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

What are your superpowers Oh, I watched the debate last night. I don't know what was everybody upset about. The guy made tons of sense to me.

[Donald Trump]

Like I spoke everything clear sounding one in the room.

[Brady Bogan]

Everything he said, I thought things.

[Donald Trump]

We beat Medicare.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, understand I speak Bidenese. I'm Ozzy. Oz Biden.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, you beat Medicare too.

[Brady Bogan]

I beat Medicare as well. Who needs Medicare? Who needs it? I'm English. I don't need a Medicare. I'll do another thing. Wonder Twins, activate.

[Donald Trump]

Lemme and I form of a bat. All right, now I'm a bat. What we do, you gotta fight crime with it, Ozzy. Let me help me fight it. All right. The cartoon's not real yet, boys. Back in your regular form, Ozzy.

[Brady Bogan]

Was I really a bachelor?

[Brett Vesely]

And right in the middle square.

[Donald Trump]

Form of a shot of whiskey. How about it?

[Brady Bogan]

Let me.

[Eddie]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

In the middle square we bit Medicaid.

[Brett Vesely]

No, you didn't. In the middle square. We learned about it earlier this week that Brady's got a particular knack for getting into a car. It's Mexican carjacker Brady.

[Donald Trump]

What's going on? A Mexican carjacker Brad Brady. I know how cars work. To steal them. Rico Brady. I got it. You back off Brady. Chiharu que jarado on the head. I added cotto caballano and the chicken. I don't drink or smoke. Ain't into dope, won't try no coke. Ask me how I do it, I cope. Only addiction has to do with the female species. Eat them raw like sushi. That's the hardest part to promote this Latin lover. You got to know how to deal with a woman that won't let go. The price you pay for being a jig alone.

[Brady Bogan]

There you go.

[Donald Trump]

You can find that part, Brady. I can steal your car, homes approved the earlier. That's right. I got to go to the dentist today.

[Brett Vesely]

Where did you learn this set of skills?

[Donald Trump]

I don't know. It just kind of happened the other day.

[Brett Vesely]

Were you going Guadalupe, Jesus is here.

[Donald Trump]

Yeah, it was weird, but I got it down. Bordelay Holmes. What's up, fudger?

[Brady Bogan]

Whoa.

[Donald Trump]

I said fudger. I wouldn't say the bad words. Essay. Pretty suave. You need tires.

[Brady Bogan]

Bien. You rent them.

[Brett Vesely]

I can do that.

[Donald Trump]

Yeah. I got four. I'm gonna take off my six four and drop on you.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

In the middle.

[Donald Trump]

My 64 is loaded in the middle right now. I got a 69. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

BN he's not a fan of hawk to a girl. He's our virtuous. Father figure Howard Stern.

[Brady Bogan]

And look. I can't look. Red Robin, are you here? Yeah, Red Robin's here with me. I can't believe what's going on here with this hot girl. What a father's nightmare that is.

[Donald Trump]

I, I can't, I.

[Brady Bogan]

Look, here's. Look. Red Robin. Yep.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

In other words, if you had a.

[Brady Bogan]

Daughter that was talking on the Internet about spitting into a hand or spitting onto a penis, I can't even imagine where she gets these ideas. I mean, what kind of social standard are we setting here? What happened? Anyway, tomorrow on the or Monday on the show, we're gonna have recipes for your fourth of July party. Watermelon. It's gonna be fantastic. We're gonna have tons of that. Carvel Watermelons like fireworks. You'll love it. It's gonna be great. And then also later today, call us with your worst ride into traffic. I mean, what was worst day ever had go on a trip. This on the all new virtuous Stern show. Happened to you. I can't believe. I, I, I want to just call Hot poo his dad. I mean, Red Robin. Brell Juice Baba. Bastard. I just want to put my arm around him, say, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine anybody putting your daughter through such a thing. Like, you know, we used to have a bit on the show where we'd make dads actually undress their daughters and kiss them.

[Donald Trump]

Like, that's so much.

[Eddie]

Did you have a daughter?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but I mean, not a hawk. Tula 1. I raised her right. I'm a dad. I'm beside myself. What happened to the society? I mean, who did this?

[Brett Vesely]

In the bottom left square, it's Brady. Secret square. Give us a hand, Brady.

[Donald Trump]

Hello. Hello.

[Eddie]

I was the king of England up until 1547. Six wives. I have a language you want to remember. Anyway, six wives I beheaded. Beheaded one of them.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, all right.

[Eddie]

I love to.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly. I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

He wants to have lunch with.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[Brett Vesely]

From earlier.

[Donald Trump]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that it? Is that right?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't remember what his name is.

[Eddie]

We'd have some ale.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that's right. Watching something on the History Channel in.

[Brett Vesely]

The bottom middle square. We're not sure why he's here, but maybe because of the fourth of July holidays. John C. Right.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm here for the happy fourth of July. Happy gets joined. See Riley iv. Oh, my God. We're just like, we're gonna become best friends. Fourth July's most exciting holiday ever. I love America.

[Brett Vesely]

How do you celebrate?

[Brady Bogan]

I celebrate with beer. And food and Brady and then shooting stuff in the air. Explosions. Shake and bake. That's what I say. It's gonna be great. We're gonna have a glizzy contest. We're gonna be eating glizzies, and it's gonna be a blast. Brett, you wanna come over to my fourth of July party? Yeah. Yeah. Happy John C. Reilly day. That's what I call it. Fourth of John C. Reilly, we call it.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, I'm free.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. Brittany, you wanna come over?

[Donald Trump]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Great. Come on.

[Eddie]

Are we best friends?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God. Did that just happen? You want to go smash pumpkins in my garage? Yeah, me too. My God, it's great to be here, you guys. I'm so happy to be here. Fort July. The most patriotic guy you've ever known.

[Donald Trump]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

I dyed my pubes red, white, and blue. I'll show you later. Oh.

[Brett Vesely]

In the bottom right square. It's our Lord and savior.

[Eddie]

Trippery.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. I'm proud to be an American. Well, at least I know.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you take your surfboard out this weekend?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I got it in the back of the convertible. I'm gonna drive it cross country. My longboard.

[Brett Vesely]

That doesn't seem safe.

[Brady Bogan]

And then I'm gonna go surf the mean waves of Baltimore. What? That's true. It's actually a thing. That's real.

[Donald Trump]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll be out there in the Chesapeake.

[Brett Vesely]

There's surfing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they surf the bay sometimes. Tricks. Dig me, cuz. I got a big dinghy. Oh, and I like them young. What? Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Belichick.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, Belichick's a hero. If I do what Belichick did. Let's do the math real quick. She'd be 19. Oh, no. Which is a little old for my taste, huh?

[Brett Vesely]

Where do you find hot ch.

[Brady Bogan]

At my house. Yeah. Most every Friday. The inner cities of Baltimore. Uh.

[Eddie]

Oh, that's not the right place.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. I like the chocolate. They call me the wire.

[Brett Vesely]

Before we get into trouble, let's get.

[Eddie]

On with the game.

[Brady Bogan]

And they love my dragon. Who's on the phone? They're raving for it. You know what I'm saying? Baltimore. I get it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We got Chris and Becca.

[Brady Bogan]

Chris, are you there? I love you.

[Donald Trump]

Becca.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Rebecca, are you there? I'm here. All right, pick a square, girl. Go. I'm gonna pick the bottom left. Oh, the secret square. Do you have any idea who that is? That would be King Henry viii.

[Eddie]

I am.

[Donald Trump]

I am.

[Brady Bogan]

Brady wants to have dinner with a guy because he eats full turkeys in one bite. All right. You're up.

[Brett Vesely]

Pick a square.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll take what's his face. The top left.

[Donald Trump]

What's his face? I don't remember my name either. Thanks for choosing me.

[Brett Vesely]

Apparently it's going around. Whatever you have.

[Donald Trump]

That's right. Some sort of pox on society. And I got it watching the bay last night.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump]

Golf ball was out there chipping golf balls this morning. And he didn't kill Nicole Simpson.

[Brett Vesely]

What? Well, related at all.

[Donald Trump]

I was chipping golf balls in the front yard. Drove OJ To Mick. That was me.

[Brett Vesely]

What kind of gloves did you have?

[Donald Trump]

I used to be Henry vii. Really? Well, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, cool.

[Donald Trump]

Where's Jill? I need help walking to the bathroom.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, hang on. Here's your question. Somebody better get some breeze on this guy.

[Donald Trump]

He's leaking like a step.

[Brett Vesely]

Gotta get this out quick. While we're.

[Donald Trump]

Get it out quick, like I do. Everything comes out on me quick. I put it in, it comes out quick.

[Brett Vesely]

How about this? If you were born with crooked teeth and it looks like most likely a descendant of a farming tribe and not a hunter gatherer tribe.

[Donald Trump]

Hunter had nothing to do with this? No. Hunter wasn't involved at all.

[Eddie]

He had crooked teeth.

[Brett Vesely]

Hunter was in a tribe never.

[Donald Trump]

Hunter was never in a. Never in a band of banshees that you're describing. He loves a good man.

[Brett Vesely]

Not what I said.

[Donald Trump]

Good guy.

[Brett Vesely]

Not what I said.

[Donald Trump]

Good people. You're a clay. You're a child.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Telling you guys. I don't know how I'm gonna lose this. If I lose this, I'll kill myself. I swear to God.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Can we get an answer?

[Donald Trump]

I said probably. I grew up in Neanderthal. I was astrolopistic.

[Brett Vesely]

Then you had straight teeth.

[Donald Trump]

Biden a kiss. Grew up on the missing leg. I used to have straight teeth. And the tusks. I used to have tusks. Back in the day. We used to have tusks.

[Brett Vesely]

One more time.

[Brady Bogan]

We had a tail.

[Brett Vesely]

If you were born with crooked teeth, you are a descendant of a farming tribe.

[Donald Trump]

That's probably true. Most Maga. Most Maga people have terrible teeth.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, Woolly mammoths to school.

[Donald Trump]

It's great. And I don't have any discrimination. Warrior the better.

[Brady Bogan]

I like a woolly mammoth.

[Donald Trump]

We defeated. We defeated the. We defeated the awful French. This is real things. These are real things.

[Brett Vesely]

Chris. He says true.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you agree or disagree? I'm going to agree.

[Brett Vesely]

That is true.

[Donald Trump]

Right? I don't.

[Brett Vesely]

L gets the square fact check.

[Donald Trump]

Clown.

[Brett Vesely]

Becca, you're up.

[Brady Bogan]

All right, let's do Mexican Brady.

[Brett Vesely]

Mexican Carjacker Brady.

[Donald Trump]

All right, that's what the ladies say. Let's do Mexican Brady. I don't know how to say 69 in Spanish. But I want to, Rico. I can't do this again. Brady. Hey, my Chi Chi. Hey. Hey, lady. Hey, Rebecca. Rebecca. Chi Chi's mas grande chichi muy grande or chichi pequeno muy grande. Is each chichi equalato to my tummy? O Because that's what I consider a mas grande chichi. It's a big round rack, no? Oh, man. Do you like tamales? Because I make big ones.

[Brett Vesely]

What did you say?

[Donald Trump]

I'm singing, Rico.

[Brett Vesely]

Say that. All right, Brady, here's your question.

[Donald Trump]

Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

The oldest known written recipe was found on a 37 year old 3700 year old stone tablet.

[Donald Trump]

Spit it out, Holmes. Hey.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump]

Hey, Tequiero Breast man. I think that's what it means. That means I like cans.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a fact.

[Donald Trump]

I can steal your car and I'm good with a knife, but I don't stab people. I just carve up meats, cheeses.

[Brett Vesely]

That's understandable.

[Donald Trump]

I'm good with a switchblade. I got a butterfly knife for that cheese board, player.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, one more time. The oldest known written recipe was found on a 3,700-year-old stone tablet. Is that true or false?

[Donald Trump]

These cubes of cheese are mas grande. Kiro must be smaller for eating.

[Brett Vesely]

You have an answer?

[Donald Trump]

I didn't hear you. The Okiro Taco Bell. I'm the little guy in the back of the car.

[Brett Vesely]

The oldest known written recipe was found on a 3,700-year-old stone tablet. Is that true or false? You're big into recipes.

[Donald Trump]

Hey, I met a girl the other day.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[Donald Trump]

Her name was Consuelo. Do you know why? Because she was real short. Consuelo. See? You'll get it later.

[Brett Vesely]

Dirtiest clean man I know.

[Donald Trump]

You guys will get it later.

[Eddie]

How about an answer? True or false?

[Donald Trump]

That used to mean food, but now it's comedy. Because I don't know the word for comedy.

[Brett Vesely]

True or false, Brady?

[Donald Trump]

I'll say that's el true.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

He's saying true that the oldest known recipe was found on a 3,700-year-old stone tablet. Becca, do you agree or disagree?

[Donald Trump]

I agree.

[Brett Vesely]

That is true. X gets square.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

You can take former President Trump for the block.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Might as well do it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep, that's what we're doing.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

It's been a big week for me.

[Brett Vesely]

This will be for the whole Enchilada.

[Donald Trump]

I like that whole enchilada. All right.

[Eddie]

Welcome back, sir.

[Donald Trump]

I'm going to Mao. It says it right on the sign. Authentic Mexican, like me. I need a ride, though, so lock your doors, okay?

[Brett Vesely]

President Trump, how are you at jacking cars?

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Probably pretty good at it. Maybe the best ever. Some say that I could jack a car pretty great. Pretty great, they said. I've had. I've asked several doctors. Cognitively, could you figure out how to jump start? Like, I'm a smart man. Yes. I don't know much about it.

[Brett Vesely]

I heard you had two tests left.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Two tests from two Mexican men that said, I bet you could jack this car. I'm like, I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me give it a shot at a Motel 6.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Or Brady. Brady Suave came by, and he said, here's what you do. You take the steering column off, and I got it from here. I said, now go home. Go home. I said, we don't need you.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, sir, here's your question. Police and firefighters are the only citizens who are exempt from jury duty. Is that true, or.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Police and firefighters exempt from jury duty? I don't know if that's true. My jury had three firefighters on it, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, because we were putting up some fires, I'll tell you that. Not gonna lie. It was a tough, tough trial.

[Eddie]

Not good, though.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Felt good. And then to take it all out on an old man last night, with the chingazos that I threw, it was strong. It was strong. And you think, who's going to be.

[Brady Bogan]

Strong on the border?

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Me, who just beat the crap out of an elderly white man or. Or an elderly white man.

[Brett Vesely]

Fair point.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

I'd say I'm gonna have to probably go ahead and say firefighters don't make sense. They can't be on juries. I would assume that they're public servants.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, Chris, but you know what?

[Ozzy Osbourne]

When I'm president, they'll be on juries. Every jury of mine will have a firefighter I appoint or a policeman I appoint, and there'll be no more. No more Trump crime.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, Chris. He says true, or do you agree or disagree?

[Brady Bogan]

Agree.

[Brett Vesely]

It was false.

[Donald Trump]

The girl wins.

[Brady Bogan]

Congratulations, Becca. And for the fourth flight, everybody gets something. Hold on.

[Donald Trump]

Did you get my joke yet?

[Brady Bogan]

I got it.

[Donald Trump]

She's short. Her name is Consuela.

[Brett Vesely]

You spell it a little differently.

[Donald Trump]

No, you don't. Then you're in big, big trouble. Mas grande troblito. What? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You want to know how my girlfriend. Hey, player.

[Eddie]

Yo, what's up?

[Donald Trump]

Do you want to know how my girlfriend. You want to know how my girlfriend's on her period? Cause I'm only wearing one sock. I let her borrow it. Kaijin.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I don't like this, Brady.

[Donald Trump]

I do.

[Eddie]

Give me some lasers.

[Donald Trump]

Yeah, no kidding. I forgot my laser.

[Brady Bogan]

I like.

[Brett Vesely]

Now you gotta have a radio show, Rico.

[Donald Trump]

Brivia la Manana where we play 24 Hours of Gerardo. I don't know. I don't know. But we don't play extra songs. It's Gerardo's queso.

[Brett Vesely]

All day, all night.

[Ozzy Osbourne]

Queso.

[Donald Trump]

Comida. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, I gotta go get him out here. Happy fourth of July, everyone. Soon we won't be here next week because neither will you, right? So have a nice trip. Be careful. Don't hurt each other unless it's necessary. Unless she's into it all.

[Eddie]

Your fingers.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, don't blow your. Don't blow your fingers off. And once again, it's a little early, but the plea I give all the time. I know you like the boom booms. I know you're entertained by low brow dummy stuff. But when you're lighting off fireworks, at least for the sake of being human, think of the veteran that's living in your neighborhood and the dogs that surround you. Please, for God's sakes, take two seconds before you and the kids go boom boom and start laughing. That it pisses some people off. Veterans. I have a guy in my neighborhood who's 92 years old. He's fought in like nine wars. They have to take him out the of town because I just found this out this year. They have to move him away because the people in the neighborhood, he gets scared. And that's just a 91 year old guy. Think of the guys who fought in, you know, Afghanistan are in their 30s, that they're still struggling with this. So be smarter and think if you've got a neighborhood full of dogs. Number one day outside of New Year's Eve for dog heart attacks and dogs escaping. The Humane Society is doing fine. Free dog giveaways this weekend because they're already at capacity and they know what's coming. So please, I beg of you. I know you like the boom booms because you're a little. Be smart about it. But it makes a big puppy noise. I love that. Okay, I get it. Take it somewhere else. Okay? You watch your own dogs. It's not my responsibility. You're right, and I do. But you realize you're kind of wrecking it for other people. Be smarter. That's all I ask. Fourth of July, you're allowed to do it, have a window of it. Let's not do it all night long. All right, that's enough. Daddy has spoken. Just think, that's all I'm asking. The same people who love fireworks, be.

[Eddie]

Courteous with your boom boom.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Same people who love fireworks are usually the ones with an American flag in the back of their car and go. Never forget the troops. You forget about them every time you light one of those things firing off random explosions. You got a guy who was in Afghanistan whole for like four days. It can't be in a restaurant. Somebody drops a plate, he loses his mind.

[Eddie]

I'm a patriot.

[Brady Bogan]

I love America. I give to tunnels for towers. Meanwhile, there's a guy at 35 years old just pissed himself in his wheelchair because of you.

[Toledo]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.