← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
07-04-25 - Guad Squares - Biden - Tracy Morgan - Trump - Ozzy - Mexican Carjacker Brady Suave - Virtuous Howard Stern - John C Reilly - BO
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Patrick Riley
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You'll have the freedom to choose from an extensive lineup ready for all adventures ahead, including popular models like the legendary Silverado. With four powerful engine choices. The Road Trip ready Equinox blending first class comfort with intuitive tech and. And the feature packed Chevy tract with undeniable value. No matter how you celebrate the 4th of July, it's always better in a Chevy. But don't miss out. Visit a Valley Chevy dealer near you today. The best of Homburg's morning sickness. This is the big red radio. Here we go. We're ready to go with these here Guadalupe squares, I believe. I think we're all ready to go. Yeah. Squares in place. Everything's there. No Moe today. She's got something else to do. We don't know. Look at the smile over there. Well, we don't know history. God knows what's going on in this building. People don't show up for work. We assume the worst. I don't want so much since this building open like the CDC should be here sometimes anyway. It is time now for the Guadalupe squares with our backup host, Mr. Toledo Bergeron. Richard. Thank you, Johnny. In the upper left square, fresh off of last night's trouncing. It's president at all. You did a great job yesterday. Finish your thought a little cool. Billions and millions and billions didn't say anything. People in the border people. Hey, Cl. This guy's a Cl. Also, we beat Medicare. Help me out. We finally beat Medicare. I don't speak that r. We beat Medicare. What is this guy talking about? There's the freeze. How you doing? I beat you in a drive contest. What's your Handicap. What's a good handicap? 8. Mine's a 3. Is that better? No, it's 5. 6. I'm not handicapped at all. Joe walked me down the course of that handicapped idea. What idea? You didn't finish one idea last week. We beat Medicare. We beat Medicare. I got a little cold. I gotta understand. I got a little cold. Can you sit down then and not breathe on anybody? Cold in the middle square. He's performing downtown. I called for the Dalai Lama one time, I called for the Dalai Lama and he gave me some advice. He said, that's the most coherent thing you've said. Which means inner peace. I got that going for me. I got that going for me. Enjoy your. In the upper Middle square, he's performing downtown at Stand Up Live. This weekend's Tracy Martin. I'm live. It's Stand Up Live. That's what they call it. They don't call it Stand Up Dead. They don't call it Stand up on tape. It's Stand Up Live. I have to be there. How you doing? You sound like I'm the Febreze cow. I was just gonna say, guess where I was last night. In Atlanta. I was in Atlanta. I was behind the presidential debate. And when Joe Biden needed a rest, he sat on me. So I smell terrible. Something wrong with me? I smell like pooping, old man. So you're saying he's got a leak? I'm saying he's got a couple leaks. Febrezin. I got Febreze that. Brady's right. Febreze that. Man. I bet you Joe Biden's pants smell like a sewer. 100%. And I bet you Donald Trump's pants smell like a prostitute. Yep. How do your pants smell? My pants smell fresh, like Febreze because that's what I am, a Febreze couch. Is that the pregnant scent? I get her pregnant? Yeah, this is smell of. This one smells like pregnancy and this one smells like placenta. It's a before and after Febreze. Spray. Spray placenta on that. It can't be worse than what Joe did. I'd rather have be covered in placenta juice than what Joe's got going on in his drawers, what he spread last night, whatever he's got going on. Spray some placenta on that. I like the smell of placenta. That means job's done in the upper right square. And he's here to celebrate a victory lap over last night's. I have to say, former President Trump. Exactly. Thank you, Rich. Thank you, future President Trump. I like to Call myself. It was very easy. I have to say. I've been against the charges that have been railed against me lately. You know, the 34 felony counts seem to have helped you. I'm not a felon. I'm not a felon. But after last night, I have to turn myself in for elder abuse after beating the living out of that old man. What a great night for me. I beat the crap out of an elderly gentleman. And murdering an elderly man on TV isn't pretty, but I did it for America. And you're welcome. You're welcome. Probation violation. I got it done. Let's not be children. It's not. I'm not on probation yet. Let's not act like kids. I'd be in a long drive contest. Okay, Joe. I'm sure that would happen. Luxurious beating last night. You got a gold star beating. That's right. I crushed you. I crushed you like a grape. And actually a grape would have put up a little bit more of a fight because the skin is thicker on a grape than it is on this pot sticker. That's for sure. I'll tell you that. What a great night for me. It's good that you feel some guilt about it. I don't feel any guilt. I really am proud of it. But I do know it was illegal to beat a man that hard all over a television set. Me, there were cameras everywhere. I was. It was like op live, just beating the crap out of an old woman. I felt well behaved and in the end that was just an abusive thing. Check it out. I put out a DVD of it. I don't know if people still do that. Trump fights where I just wander around and beat the living out of elderly men who can barely stand up without the help of their wife. And I think that's adorable. I think it's great. You know, Melania isn't there to hold my hand because I'm upright. I am Australopithecus africanus. I can stay on my feet. Jill had to come out and walk him down a stair. It was tough. Who's next on your fight list? Next on my fight list. I think Eastwood's on there. I've seen him. He's 90. I got that Kimbo. Slice was a good friend. He trained me well as a big, big kimbo fan. Big kimbo down in Florida. Mar A Lago. I used to let him train on the grounds of Mar a Lago. Yeah, it was great. I had Mark last night. I had a couple of moments there. I almost tried to I tried to hold back a laugh when we beat Medicaid. I mean, tell me that America didn't giggle at that. That was a weird one. I don't think he knows what he's doing. All right, sir, we'll rest your fist for a second, we'll get back to you. I also used to love a guy named Brady Bean. Not Butterbean. Brady Bean. He used to fight at Mar a Lago. I think we both know who that really is. Pit fighter. He's a pit fighter. Thick, short, low to the ground, tough to get down. I'm not gonna fight him until he's 80. But I will fight an 80 year old man. Line him up and I'll knock him down like bowling pins. In the middle left square. He's about to be immortalized and cartoon form as a superhero. It's Ozzy Osborne. Hello, Phoenix. Hello. Hello, Brady. What are your superpowers? I watched the debate last night. What was everybody upset about? The guy made tons of sense to me. Like I spoke everything I've everything clear sounding one in the room. Everything he said, I thought things we beat Medicare more. Understand? I speak Bidenese. I'm Ozzy. Oz Biden. Does that mean you beat Medicare too? I beat Medicare as well. Who needs Medicare? Who needs it? I'm English, I don't need Medicare. I don't know. Wonder Twins, activate. Lemmy and I form of a bat. All right, now I'm a bat all the way to the. You gotta fight crime with it, Ozzy. Let me help me fight it. All right, the cartoon's not real yet, boys. Back in your regular form, Ozzy. I got really a Bach siren right in the middle square form of a shot of whiskey. Have at it, Lemmy. All right. In the middle square we bit Medicaid. No you didn't. In the middle square. We learned about it earlier this week that Brady's got a particular knack for getting into a car. It's Mexican Carjacker Brady. Hood, what's going on? I'm Mexican Carjacker Brady. I know how cars work. To steal them. All right, Rico. Oh, I got it. You back off. No, no. Sikhi en matito. I don't drink or smoke, ain't into dope, won't try no coke ask me how I do what I coke. Only addiction has to do with the female species. Eat em raw like sushi that's the hardest part to promo info so please don't judge a book by its cover. There's more to being this Latin lover. You Got to know how to deal with a woman that won't let go. The price you pay for being a jig, Al. There we go. There you go. You can find that part, Brady. I can steal your car home. That's right. I got to go to the dentist today. Where did you learn this set of skills? I don't know. It just kind of happened the other day. What the hell? Jesus is here. Yeah, it was weird, but I got it down. Orderly homes. What's up? Fudger. I said fudger. I wouldn't say the bad words. Essay. All right, Brady, Suave. You need tires, Bien, you rent them? Yeah, I got four. I'm gonna take off my six four and drop on you. All right. In the middle. My 64 is loaded in the middle right now. I got a six, nine. All right. Bien. He's not a fan of Hoktua, girl. He's our virtuous father figure, Howard Stern. And now look. I can't look. Red Robin, are you here? Yeah, Red Robin's here with me. I can't believe what's going on here with this hot tour girl. What a father's nightmare that is. I can't. I. Look, here's what look, Red Robin. In other words, if you had a daughter that was talking on the Internet about spitting into a hand or spitting onto a penis, I can't even imagine where she gets these ideas. I mean, what kind of social standard are we setting here? What's the 90s version of you? What happened? Anyway, tomorrow or Monday on the show, we're gonna have recipes for your Fourth of July party watermelon. It's gonna be fantastic. We'll have tons of that. Carvel watermelon's like fireworks. Gonna love it. It's gonna be great. And then also later today, call us with your worst ride into traffic. I mean, what was the worst day you ever had going on a traffic? This on the all new Virtuous Stern Show. Happened to you? I can't believe I want to just call Hot Poo his vet. I mean, Red Robin, Betelgeuse Baba. Bastard. I just want to put my arm around him. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine anybody putting your daughter through such a thing. Like, you know, we used to have a bit on the show where we'd made dads actually undress their daughters and kiss them. Did you have a daughter? Yeah, but, I mean, not a hawk Tua one. I raised her right. I'm a daddy beside myself. What happened to the society? I mean, who did this in the bottom left square. It's Brady. Secret square. Give his hand, Brady. Hello. Hello. I was the king of England up until 1547. I have six wives. So did I. I have a language you want to remember. Anyway. Six wives I beheaded. Beheaded. One of them. All right, all right. I love to educate. I don't know. He wants to have lunch with. Right? From earlier. Yes. Is that it? Is that right? I don't remember what his name is. We'd have some ale. Oh, that's right. Watching something on the History channel. Sliced in the bottom middle square. We're not sure why he's here, but maybe because of the fourth of July holidays. Shout C. Riley. Exactly right. I'm here for the happy fourth of July. Happy? It's junk C. Riley. The fourth. Oh, my God. We're just like. We're gonna become best friends. Fourth of July's the most exciting holiday ever. I love America. How do you celebrate? I celebrate with beer and food and Brady. And then shooting stuff in the air. Explosions. Shake and bake. That's what I say. It's gonna be great. We're gonna have a glizzy contest. We eat glizzies, and it's gonna be a blast. Brett, you want to come over my fourth of July party? Yeah. Happy John C. Reilly day. That's what I call it. Fourth of John C. Reilly, we call it. Hey, I'm free. Okay. Brittany, you want to come over? Yeah, that'd be great. Come on. Are we best friends? Oh, my God. Did that just happen? You want to go smash pumpkins in my garage? Yeah, me too. My God. It's great to be here, guys. I'm so happy to be here for fourth of July. I'm the most patriotic guy you've ever known. All right. I dyed my pubes red, white and blue. I'll show you later. This fourth of July celebrate family fun and the freedom to save with your Valley Chevy dealers. It all starts with spectacular offers available now at the Valley Chevy July 4th event. You'll have the freedom to choose from an extensive lineup ready for all adventures ahead. Including popular models like the legendary Silverado. With four powerful engine choices. The road trip ready Equinox blending first class comfort with intuitive tech. And the feature packed Chevy tracks with undeniable value. No matter how you celebrate the 4th of July, it's always better in a Chevy. But don't miss out. Visit a Valley Chevy dealer near you today. Holmberg's morning sickness in the bottom right square. It's our lord and savior, Trippery Yeah. I'm proud to be an American. We're. At least. I know. Did you take your surfboard out this weekend? Yeah, I got it in the back of the convertible. I'm gonna drive it cross country. My long board. That doesn't seem safe. And then I'm gonna go surf the mean waves of Baltimore. That's true. It's actually a thing. That's real. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be out there in the Chesapeake. There's surfing. Yeah. They surf the bay sometimes. Tricks dig me because I got a big dinghy. Oh. And I like them young. What? Yeah. Belichick. Yeah. Belichick's a hero. If I do what Belichick did. Let's do the math real quick. She'd be 19. Oh, no. Which is a little old for my taste. Huh? Where do you find hot chicks? At my house? Yeah. Most every Friday. The inner cities of Baltimore. That's not the right place. Yeah. I like the chocolate. They call me the Wire. Before we get into trouble, let's get on with the game. And they love my dragon. Who's on the phone? They're raving for it. You know what I'm saying? Baltimore. I get it. Yeah. We got Chris and Becca. Chris, are you there? I love you, Becca. Yeah. Becca, are you there? I'm here. All right. Pick a square, girl. Go. I'm gonna pick the bottom left. Oh, the secret square. Hello, my love. Do you have any idea who that is? That would be King Henry viii. I am. I am Henry viii. Brady wants to have dinner with a guy because he eats full turkeys in one bite. All right, you're up. Pick a square. We'll take what's his face. The top left. What's his face? I don't remember my name either. I forgot who I was. Thanks for choosing me. Apparently, it's going around. Whatever you have. That's right. Some sort of pox on society. And I got it watching the bay last night. Yeah. Golf ball was out there chipping golf balls this morning. And I didn't kill Nicole Simpson. What? Well, I killed. Not related at all. I was chipping golf balls in the front yard. I was. Drove OJ To Mexico. That was me. What kind of gloves did you have? I used to be Henry viii. Really? Well, yeah. Hey, cool. Where's Jill? I need help walking to the bathroom. All right, hang on. Here's your question. Somebody better get some breeze on this guy. He's leaking like a sip. Gotta get this out quick. While we're. Get it out quick like I do Everything comes out on me quick. I put it in, it comes out quick. How about this? If you were born with crooked teeth and it looks like most likely a descendant of a farming tribe and not a hunter gatherer tribe. Hunter had nothing to do with it. No. Hunter wasn't involved at all. It crooked. Crooked Hunter was in a tribe never. Hunter was never in a. Never in a band of banshees that you're describing. He loves a good man. Not what I said. Good guy. Not what I said. Good people. You're a clay. You're a child. Telling you guys, I don't know how I'm gonna lose this. If I lose this, I'll kill myself. I swear to God. All right. Can we get an answer? I said probably. I grew up in Neanderthal astrolopithicus. So then you had straight teeth. Biden a kiss grew up on the missing. I used to have straight teeth and a tusk. So I used to have tusks. Back in the day, we used to have tusks. One more time. We had a tail. If you were born with crooked teeth, you are a descendant of a farming tribe. That's probably true. Most Maga. Most Maga people have terrible teeth. All right. I just ride woolly mammoths to school. It's great. And I don't have any discrimination. Woolier the better. I like a woolly mammoth. That's how I like woolly mammoths. We defeated. We defeated the. We defeated the awful French. This is real things. These are real things, Chris. He says true. Do you agree or disagree? I'm gonna agree. That is true. I don't love. Fact check. Clown. Becca, you're up. Let's do Mexican Brady. Mexican carjacker Brady. All right, that's what the ladies say. Let's do Mexican Brady. I don't know how to say 69 in Spanish, but I want to. Rico. I can't do this again. Brady. Hey, my chichi. Hey. Hey, lady. Hey, Rebecca. Rebecca. Chichi's mas grande. Chichi muy grande or chichi pequeno. Is each chichi equalato to my tumio. Because that's what I consider a masquerande chichi. It's a big round rack, no? Oh, man. Do you like tamales? Cause I make big ones. Let's see. Mi aprentia vivo locora vena guerra cantamuras. What did you say? Hey, I'm singing, Rico. Alright, Brady, here's your question. Okay. The oldest known written recipe was found on a 37 year old 3700 year old stone tablet. Spit it out, Holmes. Hey, yeah. Hey, Tequiero. Breast man. I think that's what it means. That means I like cans. It's a fact. I can steal your car and I'm good with a knife, but I don't stab people. I just carve up meats, cheeses. That's understandable. I'm good with a switchblade. I got a butterfly knife for that cheese board, player. All right, one more time. The oldest known written recipe was found on a 3,700-year-old stone tablet. Is that true or false? Cubes of cheese are mas grande. Quiro must be smaller for eating. Do you have an answer? I didn't hear you. Yo, kiro Taco Bell. I'm the little guy in the back of the car. The oldest known written recipe was found on a 3,700-year-old stone tablet. Is that true or false? You're big into recipes. Hey, I met a girl the other day. Oh, no. Oh, no. Her name was Consuelo. Do you know why? Because she was real short. Consuelo. See, you'll get it later. Dirtiest clean man. I know you guys will get it later. How about an answer? True or false? That used to mean food, but now it's comedy. Because I don't know the word for comedy. True or false, Brady? I'll say that's el true. All right. He's saying true that the oldest known recipe was found on a 3,700-year-old stone tablet. Becca's. Do you agree or disagree? I agree. That is true. X gets square. All right, Chris, you can take former President Trump for the block. Might as well do it. Yep. That's what we're doing. It's been a big week for me. This will be for the whole enchilada. I like that. Whole enchilada. All right. Welcome back, sir. I'm going to Macayo. It says it right on the sign. Authentic Mexican, like me. I need a ride, though, so lock your doors, okay? President Trump, how are you at jacking cars? Probably pretty good at it. Maybe the best ever. Some say that I could jack a car pretty great. Pretty great, they said. I've had. I've asked several doctors. Cognitively, could you figure out how to jump start? Be like, I'm a smart man. Yes. I don't know much about it. I heard you had two tests left, two tests from two Mexican men that said, I bet you could jack this car. I'm like, I don't know. Let me give it a shot at a Motel 6 or Brady. Brady Suave came by and he said, here's what you do. You take the steering column off. And I got it from here. I said, now go home. Go home. I said, dude, we don't need you. All right, sir, here's your question. Police and firefighters are the only citizens who are exempt from jury duty. Is that true or not? Police and firefighters exempt from jury, Dillard? I. I don't know if that's true. My jury had three firefighters on it, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, because we were putting out some fires, I'll tell you that. Not gonna lie. It was a tough, tough trial. Felt good, though. Felt good. And then to take it all out on an old man last night with the chingazos that I threw, it was strong. It was strong. And you think, who's gonna be strong on the border? Me, who just beat the crap out of an elderly white man or an elderly white man. Fair point. I'd say I'm gonna have to probably go ahead and say firefighters don't make sense. They can't be on juries. I would assume that they're public servants. All right, Chris, but you know what? When I'm president, they'll be on juries. Every jury of mine will have a firefighter I appoint or a policeman I appoint, and there'll be no more. No more Trump crime. All right, Chris. He says true, or do you agree or disagree? Agree. It was false. The girl wins. Becca wins. Congratulations, Becca. And for the fourth flight, everybody gets something. Hold on a second. Everybody gets something. Did you get my joke yet? I got it. She's short. Her name is Consuelo. You spell it a little differently. No, you don't. Then you're in big, big trouble. Mas grande trobalito. What? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You want to know how my girlfriend. Hey, player. Yo, what's up? Do you want to know how my girlfriend. You want to know when my girlfriend's on her period? Because I'm only wearing one sock. I let her borrow it. Kaiji. Yeah. I don't like this, Brady. I do. Give me some lasers. Yeah, no kidding. I forgot my laser. Now you gotta have a radio show, Rico. Brivia La Manana, where we play 24 Hours of Gerardo. Do you have more than one song? I don't know, but we don't play extra songs. It's Gerardo. Queso day, all night. Queso comida. Yeah, okay. I gotta go get him out of here. Happy Fourth of July, everyone. Soon we won't be here next week because neither Will you? Right. So have a nice trip. Be careful. Don't hurt each other unless it's necessary or unless she's into it all. Your fingers. Yeah, don't blow your. Don't blow your fingers off. And once again, it's a little early, but the plea I give all the time. I know you like the boom booms. I know you're entertained by low brow dummy stuff, but when you're lighting off fireworks, at least for the sake of being human, think of the veteran that's living in your neighborhood and the dogs that surround you. Please, for God's sakes, take two seconds before you and the kids go boom boom. And start laughing. That it pisses some people off. Veterans. I have a guy in my neighborhood who's 92 years old. He's fought in like nine wars. They have to take him out of town because I just found this out this year. They have to move him away because the version the people in the neighborhood do, he gets scared. And that's just a 91 year old guy. Think of the guys who fought in, you know, Afghanistan or in their 30s that they're still struggling with this. So be smarter and think. If you've got a neighborhood full of dogs, number one day outside of New Year's Eve for dog heart attacks and dogs escaping. The Humane Society is doing free dog giveaways this weekend because they're already at capacity and they know what's coming. So please, I beg of you. I know you like the boom booms because you're a little be smart about it, but it makes a big puppy noise. I love that. Okay, I get it. Take it somewhere else. Okay? You watch your own dogs. It's not my responsibility. You're right, and I do. But you realize you're kind of wrecking it for other people. Be smarter. That's all I ask. Fourth of July, you're allowed to do it. Have a window of it. Let's not do it all night long. All right, that's enough. Daddy has spoken. Just think, that's all I'm asking. The same people who love fireworks. You're courteous with your boom boom. Yeah. Same people who love fireworks are usually the ones with an American flag in the back of their car and go. Never forget the troops. You forget about them every time you light one of those things firing off random explosions. You got a guy who was an fucking Afghanistan whole for like four days. It can't be in a restaurant. Somebody drops a plate, he loses his mind. I'm a patriot. I love America. I give to tunnels for towers. Meanwhile, there's a guy at 35 years old just pissed himself in his wheelchair because of you. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.