07-07-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Detailed Episode Summary (07-07-25)

Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, delivered an engaging and humorous broadcast on Monday, July 7, 2025. Hosted by John Holmberg with assistance from Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo, the episode navigated a variety of topics ranging from listener interactions and traffic law critiques to personal anecdotes and contest announcements. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing the key discussions, insights, and memorable moments from the show.

---

1. Post-Holiday Reflections and Upcoming Football Season (03:17 - 06:00)

John Holmberg kicked off the show by welcoming listeners back from a spirited Fourth of July weekend. Emphasizing the transition from holiday festivities to the excitement of the upcoming football season, Holmberg remarked,

"The reason I love 4th of July so much is because the two next steps are my birthday and football season. It's like right around the corner."
(03:26)

The hosts shared their anticipation for football's return, highlighting how the sport often unites listeners and reduces the likelihood of disputes that might arise in the absence of a common conversational topic.

2. Listener Dispute Over Trump Allegations (04:00 - 07:00)

The show delved into a listener’s heated exchange regarding former President Trump. John read an email from a listener who recounted a confrontation initiated by one of the weekend hosts:

"I had a listener fired off, quit being anti Trump, like, damage, stop bashing on Trump."
(06:36)

The hosts engaged in a humorous attempt to identify the meddling weekend host responsible for stirring controversy, fostering a light-hearted discussion about internal show dynamics and listener interactions.

3. On-the-Go Observations: Biking and Public Disputes (07:00 - 20:00)

John recounted an incident observed while biking near Indian School:

"I had to flop off the canal and get from the canal to the other canal and just jump over Indian School. And there were two older dudes yelling at each other in the middle of the day about Trump."
(05:18)

This led to a broader conversation about public behavior, the impact of political tensions, and the approaching football season's role in mitigating daily conflicts. The discussion seamlessly transitioned into tips on valet services, with Brett humorously debating the necessity and etiquette of tipping valets:

"You struggle with tipping a valet guy when I can actually see the car. I struggle with tipping a valet guy when I can actually see the car."
(07:24)

4. Traffic Laws and the Photo Radar Debate (20:00 - 75:00)

A significant portion of the show focused on criticizing Arizona’s photo radar systems. Brett passionately argued against the effectiveness and fairness of automated traffic enforcement:

"Just another way to fleece the elderly and scare them into giving more of their money away."
(04:00 interspersed throughout)

The hosts brainstormed creative (and comedic) methods to undermine photo radar tickets, including the outrageous suggestion to display oversized items like giant dicks to confuse the cameras. They debated the legal implications and practical challenges of such tactics, blending satire with genuine frustration:

"Holding up a giant dick to fool cameras."
(05:18)

Dick Toledo shared his personal experience with Game Day Men's Health, indirectly tying it back to themes of control and autonomy, further enriching the debate on personal freedoms versus automated systems.

5. Bans from Public Venues and Managing Fan Conduct (75:00 - 130:00)

The conversation shifted to the topic of being banned from public venues, specifically referencing Diamondbacks games. Brett recounted a humorous yet pointed critique of how sports organizations handle disruptive fans:

"We should invite him with a kiss and see how the Diamondbacks security handles it."
(75:00)

John shared a personal anecdote about being banned from a Sears store due to mischievous elevator tampering in his youth, highlighting the challenges and often arbitrary nature of such bans:

"Brett, you're gonna like this. We got Dave McCaskill banned."
(77:49)

The hosts proposed tongue-in-cheek solutions for managing banned individuals, emphasizing the need for structured and fair exclusion policies while maintaining their characteristic irreverence.

6. Contest and Giveaway: Volbeat VIP Experience (130:00 - 150:00)

In a lively segment, the show announced a contest to win VIP tickets to a Volbeat concert, complete with meet-and-greet opportunities and exclusive merchandise. Brett detailed the attractive perks, encouraging listeners to participate:

"You get two general admission tickets or a couple seats within the first five rows of the stage, plus a meet and greet with Volbeat."
(129:00)

The excitement around the giveaway was palpable, with the hosts discussing various elements of the VIP experience, from backstage tours to personalized interactions with the band. This segment underscored the show's commitment to engaging listeners through valuable and entertaining giveaways.

7. Relationship Talk and Personal Anecdotes (130:00 - 150:00)

The hosts delved into personal relationship struggles, particularly focusing on issues related to weight and personal health. Brett shared a candid and somewhat controversial email from a listener expressing concerns about his wife’s weight:

"I told her I don't think I'm attracted to you anymore. You're pushing 200 pounds and look unhealthy now."
(141:04)

This led to a broader discussion on the dynamics of relationships, personal responsibility, and the balance between support and personal boundaries. The conversation was marked by a mix of empathy, humor, and blunt honesty, typical of the show's unfiltered style.

8. News Highlights and Final Segments (150:00 - End)

Towards the end of the show, the hosts shared brief news snippets and light-hearted commentary on current events, including the ranking of sci-fi TV shows and notable incidents like Dr. Phil’s bankruptcy filing:

"Dr. Phil's Merritt Street Media Company just filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy."
(161:34)

These highlights provided listeners with concise updates, delivered with the hosts' signature humor and critical perspectives.

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Notable Quotes:

• "I'm the only guy I know that bangs the ass out of his wife. For real."
  — Brett Vesely
  (145:00)

• "So, yeah, just be considerate. That's coming from me."
  — Brett Vesely
  (26:50)

• "People tip him."
  — John Holmberg
  (05:25)

• "This is a good one, Brady."
  — Brett Vesely
  (121:40)

Concluding Thoughts:

Holmberg's Morning Sickness continued to deliver its trademark mix of humor, candid discussions, and listener engagement. By tackling topics ranging from political disputes and traffic laws to personal relationships and concert giveaways, the show maintained its position as a go-to morning radio program in Arizona. The hosts' ability to blend serious commentary with levity ensured a dynamic and entertaining listen for those tuning in.

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Note: All timestamps refer to the minutes and seconds within the episode transcript.

Transcript

[Byron]

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[Brett]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Byron]

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[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Byron]

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[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Byron]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Brett]

John Holmer here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about lifechangeloan.com here's another email I got says, hey, Holmberg, my wife and I are buying our first house and I don't want to commit to paying someone for three decades. I heard you mention life change loan and it really rang true that paying someone for 30 years, that's a ripoff. So what do we do? You're going to cut off a ton of years and pay a lot less in interest. With life Changer loan, the average time most clients have five years loans paid off and they're going to save about 250,000 in interest. You control all your equity equity from inside your banking. Believe me when I say it's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com Sickness, you've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday post vacation weekend. Big old Fourth of July celebration. It is 5:45 this. It's the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big Dick Toledo. We're off and running, ready to go. Brady's being Brady's currently. I have to fix this.

[Byron]

Blinded.

[Brett]

Well, it's not even that. He looks like Glenn Close from the Natural right now, and I can't. He's like glowing. If Brady was a video game, he'd be the next character I'm supposed to talk to.

[John Holmberg]

He's just win.

[Brett]

Definitely lit differently than everyone else. Yeah. Back and everybody's back from their fourth of July, the big super summer break. It's awesome. Everything's fun when it comes to that. And the reason I love 4th of July so much is because the two next steps are my birthday and football season. It's like right around the corner. Football starts in like two weeks. It's awesome. There's camps. You got all that stuff. Preseason will be.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you meant actually show stuff on tv.

[Brett]

Oh, they show stuff on tv. Brady, if you're a footballer.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. No, they're.

[Brett]

You're a Bengals fan. You guys are passive. You don't count.

[John Holmberg]

I meant preseason games like that.

[Brett]

That's all. That's three weeks away. It's the first week. August, it's gonna knock you out. It's coming right around the corner, man. So I get excited now because 4th of July usually means. All right, that's enough of that. Everybody gets back to work with summertime stuff, and then we go watch football, which is so close. And that's just really, basically the only joy that you have after a certain amount of time is the football season. Everything else is work or, you know, struggle with this or doing that. And you're looking at the same people every day. And then football happens, conversations you can't miss. And I say that only because Brett starts the day off with reading one of the texts from the weekend that evidently there was a fight quickly between a listener and one of our weekenders. And it just got a guy to fire off, quit being anti Trump, like, damage, stop bashing on Trump. And it's like, what weekend, guys? We trying to figure it out.

[Byron]

Yeah, I don't know. We know it's not Brandon.

[Brett]

No, it's not love, Brandon. Love is. And he's. Is he a. He likes Trump more than.

[Byron]

Yeah, he's a libertarian.

[Brett]

He's a wild libertarian. Like, he's like odd. Oh, yeah. I like it. And then. Yeah. So it can't be. I mean, Chris Kelly. But he, he's not going to go do that. So it's either Jeff Vella. No, I don't say.

[Byron]

I mean, maybe, but I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

No, he gets to keep his tips now.

[Brett]

That's true. People tip him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

For above and beyond service. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Really? I didn't think so. It might be just a. I don't think that's accurate.

[John Holmberg]

That's what he calls them, tips.

[Brett]

So we're trying to figure out which weekend guy pissed off and got all political. Like he went full Green day on somebody on the weekend. I don't know. And yeah. And football being back means. And I was telling you guys off there, I was riding my bike on the canal. I was heading down over actually close to here, and I got to about, I guess that's 64th Street, 60 something street in Indian School. And I had to flop off the canal and get from the canal to the other canal and just jump over Indian School. And there were two older dudes yelling at each other in the middle of the day about Trump. And that one guy was mad about tips and the other guy was screaming fascism. And I'm like, what are they. What are they angry about? And like you said, Brett, they're in their 60s. If you're still working for tips in your 60s.

[Byron]

Yeah, just hang yourself yeah, it's over.

[Brett]

I mean, I understand getting a few tips, but you should be. You should probably be doing a little bit different than. I don't know, maybe you're just a great limo driver. I can't figure out what you do in your 60s and just live off of. I guess. I suppose that's a thing, but just a football. It'll fix everything. And a couple of. We're getting to that point where we haven't had anything to look at a guy and go, how about that game? Like, it hasn't happened in four months. Five months since we've really always had something to talk about. And we filled time for those four months. But right after the Fourth of July is when we start to realize without it, we're gonna fight. And so it's getting close.

[John Holmberg]

You know, speaking of the tip. The tip experience I had was staying at the hotel, and they said, you know, for. They charge you $40 a day for parking. Yeah, but 45 includes valet service.

[Brett]

Wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

So it's for $5 more? Well, that's what I'm saying. And they're saying. No, that. That covers the valet.

[Brett]

No, it doesn't.

[John Holmberg]

Like.

[Byron]

Yeah, if you're an ass.

[Brett]

I did it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Still.

[Brett]

Yeah. You can't do that.

[John Holmberg]

You tip the guy.

[Brett]

Of course you tip the guy. He's doing it. That's. That's actually where tipping. Like, he's doing your service. So long as they get the car. I don't. What is going on with this thing. Yeah, see, the music's going crazy. Ah, goddamn Trump hating part timers messing with our stuff. Yeah. Just turning on and off on its own now. Michael, he'll fix it, but. Yeah, I don't know why that's happening.

[John Holmberg]

It's shorting out.

[Brett]

No clue why that's happening. I'm just gonna switch over to this side, see if we can make that work. That's. Yeah. It feels like there may be a small fire developing. And that wouldn't be so bad if this building burned down, would it? I don't think. You know, I don't care. I'll probably get charged for it. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, get your checkbook out. Besides that. Yeah, the tip thing goes. If. If the valet guy gets your car, he gets a tip. But if I can see my car from where he is, I. I struggle with tipping a valet guy when I can actually see the car.

[Byron]

When you walk 30ft, when I can.

[Brett]

Still, like, have conversation with you while you're getting in and I'm at the Thing. I'm like, I can do this. Like, just give me the keys, and then I gotta give you, like, 10 bucks or something like that. Come on. That's crazy. I like that. At the Rah Rah room, they walk you to your car. It's a little weird.

[Byron]

They walk you to your car.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. You're parked in a garage. They take you right off the bat.

[Byron]

So they don't drive your car?

[Brett]

Yeah, at first. Then they park it, and then at the end of the night, I went out there. Well, they'll go get it. Oh. But if it's right around the corner, they just walk you to it. Oh, okay.

[Byron]

I thought they were escorting you to your car. It's like, I could have did this myself.

[Brett]

That's what I said. It's like, I don't know, But I don't know. I don't understand it. I still give the guy money, but it's nice. It's nice to have someone walk into your car. I don't know. It's weird, but you're like, this is high service. You're like, I just.

[Byron]

I would have first class ring at the end, too. It's like you walk home after your date.

[Brett]

I let them finger me, and they. We fumble around in the back a little like teenagers at the prom. And Works out great. And all the traveling that had to be done. Brady, you went on. Did you go anywhere? You didn't go anywhere. I stuck it out. I'm with you. And I didn't want to deal with any of this because the best story that happened over the entire 4th of July was that a plane for American Airlines had to turn around because some nosy something or other peeked over the shoulder of another person and saw in their text, somebody text them that said R.I.P.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And they lost their minds. And they're like, oh. So she tells. I guess you're supposed to say something if you see something, but I don't know how many times I've. Every flight, I try to double jinx back, saying, unless this thing ends up in the ground, I'll see you in an hour. Or, you know, chances are this one's going into the dirt. We're gonna land really early, but it's gonna be closer to Flagstaff than it is Vegas. Like, that kind of stuff right there. The plane's gonna crash. I make a. A reference. If somebody saw the text and we had to turn around every time. 90% of my flights, someone would see me text something absolutely inappropriate and make.

[John Holmberg]

That one kicked in that.

[Brett]

Okay. But here's the thing. You're gonna know, because the authorities are gonna come to you and go, can we take a look at your phone? Interstate something. I was like, oh, oh. That prick sitting next to me was reading my text. And then you're gonna find this out. And I know they probably tap dance around it a little bit like, all right, everyone, we had a security breach. Everyone off the. We need to talk to you. And then the lady that was sitting next to you that's now in another room crying, we need to talk to her. And everybody else said, what's going on? You're gonna know who did this. So if you're gonna prick around and read people's texts and then get a whole plane diverted, we're gonna know.

[John Holmberg]

Besides, I was thinking diverting the flight. It's still in the air. If it was going to happen.

[Brett]

Well, that's not true, Brie. You know those flights that left Boston, they had about 30 minutes before they hit New York.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but if the guy finds out it's being diverted or whatever in his plans. Well, they're gonna change up the plans then.

[Brett]

Well, you know. Yeah, it depends. Well, if he has intention to blow the plane up, you solve nothing. All right, so you say. Say nothing. Even if you see a guy strapped with bombs, it's too late.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, if you see a guy that's trapped with bombs, yeah, it's probably.

[Brett]

Well, I mean, it is.

[John Holmberg]

The odds are that we're gonna turn around.

[Brett]

Look.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, then I won't do it.

[Brett]

You may have changed my mind, because at that point, what am I supposed to do? We're in the air, and this guy, you didn't catch him. And now it's my job to piss him off some more. Now I think. I think I'm screaming Allah Akbar and I'm going down with him. I think that's. I think that's it. I think. I think that's pretty much the end of it. I might.

[John Holmberg]

And so when they land and he says, rip. Yeah. I was more of a dead relative.

[Brett]

Oh, wait a minute. You don't get text from dead people.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, that's with the. His text had rip, and it was from a relative that had passed away.

[Brett]

But you don't get texts from dead people.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, I know it's from his relatives saying, rip about the other relative that passed away.

[Brett]

Oh. Oh, I see. Oh, I got confused by.

[John Holmberg]

That's what the test was.

[Brett]

Dead. Me too. I don't know. Welcome back. Yeah. Yeah. It could be anything.

[John Holmberg]

He had Someone that passed away in.

[Brett]

His family, rest in peace. Or it could have been like you. You know, you and I could have joked and had that same thing. But he may change my mind once.

[Byron]

Maybe he's a big rip torn fan.

[Brett]

Oh, that could be. He's a big horn guy. There's a lot of those still left. They had just watched dodgeball and thought, you can dodge a wrench. You can dodge a ball. It's like, oh, there's a rip to rip. I love the old rip. A Rip Taylor $1.92 beauty pageant or whatever. That one. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It just. Would you say something?

[John Holmberg]

You think that would have been able to. You could have assessed that and solved it right there.

[Brett]

Rip. You'd think so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's an rip, Don.

[Brett]

But I already know what it is. It's some lady who you can see on her face, this isn't gonna be easy. The second she complains and you're like, ugh. Or protocol kicks in, all right, she's gonna demand something gets done. I read his text, and he's definitely got plans to do something terrible. I think, okay, well. And once you tell the pilot, he probably has to do something where. All right, we got something going on on the plane. We might have to. We're land a little early. And I'm sure the pilots don't flat out say it sounds like we got a terrorist on the plane here. We're gonna go ahead and land in San Luis Obispo. They're probably like, yeah, we're having some engine trouble. We're gonna pop her down here in Tucson and see what's going on. Blow the plane up. Somebody blow the plane up. Let's keep going. It doesn't matter. I'm a terrorist. This plane will go to Cuba. Yeah, where do you draw that line? If the guy sits next to you and he goes, I have a bomb. It's too late now.

[John Holmberg]

You're on.

[Brett]

Yeah. Pretty rose colored glasses. Yeah. What do you need? Why would we buy? It's gonna take one. That's true. You've got a bomb. Walk up there and get us a couple of vodka sodas before. At least make this somewhat pleasurable. You want to drink? You're kind of cool. Had I met you a day or two ago, I probably wouldn't blow up this plane. Yeah, it's. It just seems like nosy people on planes are already bad enough. That's why I always just watch porn on the phone. You want an eyeful? You're gonna get one. I think it's hilarious. I will constantly won't divert the flight. I constantly do things that make it so. If you want to look at my phone, you're gonna find some stuff. Oh, wow. This one. I didn't know. The British Airways flight attendant was arrested for being unclothed on a recent flight.

[John Holmberg]

That's the pictures.

[Brett]

No, it's what the. We still have the 1970s in our mind when we think of flight attendants.

[Byron]

Think of that Pan Am show with Margot Robbins.

[John Holmberg]

Did you check it out?

[Brett]

I can't. I can't imagine seeing any flight attendants at all with their clothes off being attractive at this point. That is not a group of. That's not the Love Island USA team right there. Although that whole crew just keeps saying slurs and curses and getting kicked off, which is great. This guy says I drive a manual car in valet. Or I drove for Dominic's. Remember that restaurant? Dominic's coming back. My girlfriend and I were out for an anniversary. Oh, he has a manual. And the valet parked. I see what he's saying. I read that wrong. And so we gave it to the valet. My girlfriend and I were out for our anniversary and nobody could drive a manual to go get my car, so I had to go get it. And I left my girlfriend at valet at the booth because she had heels on. Didn't want to walk all the way through that parking garage. And the bastards had the audacity to say, hey, a little something for the effort. Yeah, you don't give that guy a tip. How did they park it? He should pay you. Absolutely. How did they get it to the parking garage in the first place? The one guy, probably Trevor, went on.

[Byron]

Break or something and he couldn't.

[Brett]

Sorry, dude, I'm on break. Can't get your whip. So. Yeah, I don't think. Yeah. Now that Brady's kind of brought it up, I think I might go rose colored glasses on the flight too. If I was sitting next to a dude who's like, I'm going to blow the plane up. I already took off. What am I going to do about it? What do you want me to fight you? You're still going to explode.

[John Holmberg]

Tell me why you're doing this.

[Brett]

I have an idea. I don't need to.

[John Holmberg]

I have some ideas. But where did it all start?

[Brett]

Your benevolent, beloved God has talked you into this and it seems like a good idea.

[Byron]

See Sonny Bono, an airplane, two. Buying the third bomb from the left or something or what?

[Brett]

Yeah, tell me where it all started. Bracelet. It all started on the. Not 9. 11. Your 911. September of the year 1. 711.

[Byron]

He tried it with strippers. Why not terrorists?

[Brett]

Yeah, you know, I mean, tell me where it all started.

[Byron]

Save you.

[Brett]

I was born inside of a religion that. Okay, never mind. I shouldn't have asked. Shouldn't have asked. Yeah, I guess if he told you I had a bomb or he's texting about his bomb and stuff, I'm looking over, going, blows the plane up. Huh. What do you do for a li. What? I guess. What did you do for a living? Weirdly enough, I work for tips. So it's. I'm kind of in a quandary. The new law is better. I work for Uber. I don't know. It's all weird. The whole week was a strange kind of get up. And then I. And then I saw that Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry are splitting up and all I thought.

[John Holmberg]

And he's hooking up with the. Oh, he's Jake the hairdresser in Venice.

[Brett]

He had. He was seen with Sydney Sweeney, the hairdresser. He had some other chick. And then. So she goes on a boat and puts a bikini on and starts taking pictures of her like it was paparazzi, but she's posing in all of them. So it's. And then the headline says, I'm the one. Or you're. You're the one who lost here. Orlando. All right. And then you start thinking to yourself, because I remember watching Katy Perry and that annoying. Remember when they were astronauts for eight minutes, her and her friends.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

And they. And they went up and they pretended, played, pretended that they were in space, they were spacemen. And. And she sang and she's annoying stuff. And then I remember when it came back down, somebody's like, there were shots of Orlando Bloom and he wasn't there. And I didn't put two and two together at the time, but he didn't go. Like, I know anyone I care about goes up in space. I'm going to return. I'm going to that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're just. That's one of those things where you better go.

[Brett]

Wives and families. Yeah. Your wife's not gonna be real happy with you if you. Like, I got other stuff to do. It's like, I'm going into space. Like at 8:30 I'll be in space. And at 8:38, I'll be home. Like, okay, I'll just see at home. Like, you're not gonna get away with that. And he wasn't there. So then I started to think, now knowing what we know now he was rooting for that thing to explode.

[John Holmberg]

There was no way read, you know, dirt during that whole thing, that he was totally taken back by the whole thing.

[Brett]

Of course.

[John Holmberg]

That, like, it's like, you know, oh.

[Brett]

He didn't want it to be.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing?

[Brett]

This is a pain in the ass.

[John Holmberg]

This is not history in the making.

[Brett]

No, no, no. And that might have been why they broke up, because she thinks she's Sally Ride now. But the better part is, is deep down, we now, a month or so later, know that Orlando Bloom sat there and quietly hoped for that thing to blow up.

[Byron]

Well, submersible was already done. So he's like, all right, how about this one?

[Brett]

We'll try this. They're not gonna do a second ride in the subs. Katie. I've got an idea. The blue origin's gone, and there'll be nobody. It's just remote control. You're gonna fly around in a rocket drone. I hate to see Gale go. Cause her and Oprah are a cute couple. But if Katie's on the thing, it's just gonna have to sacrifice everything else. Lauren Sanchez and all that.

[John Holmberg]

And the highlight was Bezos beefing it, trying to get to the door.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. That was the fun of it.

[John Holmberg]

Like, was that him?

[Brett]

But, yeah, seriously, start thinking about. There was one man on the planet that thought to himself, if she just goes, it's. I get. Imagine he's getting all of that extra ass based on the fact that he and Katie aren't together. Now, what would have happened had she blown up in that plane or in that rocket? Orlando Bloom would have been God. So in his own way, they probably hated each other. Because if you don't go to. You don't go to your wife's rocket launch. You don't like her at all. Like, it isn't. It's. It's not a cordial breakup.

[John Holmberg]

It's a pretty big deal.

[Brett]

It's not a. It is not an amicable split at that point. You gonna go to my rocket launch at least to just keep up appearances? Now, I hope it explodes.

[Byron]

I'm going out with Sydney Sereni.

[Brett]

Yeah. Enjoy the Challenger ride, sister, because I'm done with you. And he had his fingers crossed. And everybody's like, oh, look at Orlando. He wants Katy Perry to come back, but. But you don't know what was going on in his head. And what I would love is to go back and ask him, like, what were you thinking when the rocket took off? Where you're like, gosh, I hope this works. Or, come on, baby.

[John Holmberg]

What pub were you in?

[Brett]

Show me that when that was happening. Putting a hundred bucks down next to the guy. 100 bucks if it blows up. You can. It's yours. Katy Perry's husband just gave me 100 quid. He's hoping a rocket explodes. Yeah. This guy says, eight minutes in space, and Katy Perry thinks she's an astronaut. That makes me a professional gynecologist since I was 15. All right, calm down. That's kind of funny, but it's also gross. Cause that means you were looking for things wrong. You weren't in there for pleasure. You were searching for lumps and cysts and oozing and discharge. That's. That's gross. That is gross. Otherwise, it was an uneventful Fourth of July. There was nothing here. Absolutely nothing happened. It was great. And then my Dad's only, like, 20 minutes from that flood in Texas. I called him, and I'm like, hey, you're in the. I don't. I've never been there. Not going all the way over there. He doesn't let. Here's the problem with where my dad lived. You can love somebody, only so much. Mileage comes into play. It's almost like a rental car. Would you like to spend extra for extra miles? Like, no, I'm not gonna do that. That's essentially, I'd have to fly to San Antonio, Houston, or Austin. Two of those cities don't have direct, so I gotta bounce up to Denver or something first. And so it's like six hours on a plane. Or you go to Houston, they're gonna rent a car and drive for two hours. I don't care about him that much. He'll get here on his own. This is a big city, and he knows where I live. I gotta find it. And he always tells me. He goes, oh, we live on this. Not a very big place. We've decided to just have land, and we're building a house on it. So you'd have to stay in downtown Fredericksburg. I don't even know what that is. Now I gotta go to a city. I don't know where I am. This sounds awful. Let's just meet in the middle somewhere or whatever. So I called him and I said, you live in hill country in Texas? Yeah. And he said, yeah. I said, how close are you to these floods? Guadalupe. Ruby's like, 20 minutes away from me. I'm like, no kidding?

[Dick Toledo]

Of July. Celebrate family fun and the freedom to save with your Valley Chevy dealers. It all starts with spectacular Offers available now at the Valley Chevy July 4th event, you'll have the freedom to choose from an extensive lineup ready for all adventures ahead, including popular models like the legendary Silverado. With four powerful engine choices. The road Trip ready Equinox blending first class comfort with intuitive tech. And the feature packed Chevy Trax with undeniable value. No matter how you celebrate the 4th of July, it's always better in a Chevy.

[Brett]

Chevy.

[Dick Toledo]

But don't miss out. Visit a Valley Chevy dealer near you today.

[Brett]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Okay, so you're right in the middle of this. And he goes, oh, yeah, it's right in the center of it all. I'm like, how about that? I said, how much rain have you got? And he texted me and he said, 3.39.

[John Holmberg]

What's the gauge?

[Brett]

And I said, is that 3ft and a third with the inches or you? And then I realized that as Holmbergs, what we do is we're very specific with inches. And I guess that's just a family trait. Cause what other time in your life would you ever give three point? You say three and a half, 3.39 inches, and I'm like, that's three feet. Like, like, what are you telling me here? I don't know. It's very close to. It's four inches. And I'm like, okay, now I understand. When we get. When homburgs get between 4 and 8 inches, we start adding in the threes and point twos and all that. So we're taking all we can get. But that was just on his land. I know.

[John Holmberg]

So when they gauge that, like, if she got an inch of rain.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is that based upon the surface that would be water would be an inch above?

[Brett]

No, no, it's just. It collects. It's a collection of. So you. Have you ever seen a rain water gauge? It's just bucket and it weighs it. Basically. It's just kind of that. So that's how much has fallen in the area. But it doesn't necessarily mean you have an inch of water. It's.

[John Holmberg]

An inch would be comparable to having that if it's.

[Brett]

If it was uniform across the board. Yeah, probably. Probably. But I mean, up high, if an inch of water is falling in your spot, it's falling over here. Over here it starts.

[John Holmberg]

Because when you get back to the, you know, Midwest or any place that have big rivers, they show, you know, they have the bridges and the levels, like a 19. You know, someone put the date 1933.

[Brett]

Way up high, right. And that's probably after like three inches of water because it's. It's. You start getting Neil DeGrasse Tyson with that whole thing. It's like the spread of it. The. The. The. You know, how dry the ground is and how much it sits, how much it absorbs. But, yeah, he went out and it was in, like four hours. They had three and a half inches. And he said it hadn't stopped raining since. Last time I checked, we were at 3.39. And I'm like, what the. So that's, you know, that's the 1 4th of July story. That's terrible.

[John Holmberg]

I told you that. I saw video people sitting there. Here comes the flash flood coming down the dry riverbed.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the police are like, I need you to. Guys, sit back, step back. They're all recording it.

[Brett]

I think it's time we stopped that. I think it's time to be 20.

[John Holmberg]

People washed away if they did.

[Brett]

Good. Well, good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Because I think it's time we stop that. If you stood in the freeway. It's not a cop's job to go get you off the freeway if you're just. I just want to see what a car looks like coming at me. Film away.

[Byron]

We see all those Indian guys standing next to trains and taking selfies and.

[Brett]

Stuff in the village. Well, you know what? You never see Indian cops, right? Yeah. You never see Indian cops. Like, no, no, no, no, no. It should not stand by that. No, they're just like. There was a lot of Indians. There's a billion of us. A few of us need to get hit. I don't want to see it anymore because I saw that and I saw multiple angles, which means there were TV crews and every. I have. I have no emotion for weathermen that stand in hurricanes and idiots that want to film a wall of water coming at them. I just. I just. I have. I have a great Nike defense. I know when it's. Sometimes I overshoot it, but I know when it's time to run. I know when it's like, that wall of water looks huge. I'm not gonna stand here and watch this. I'm first one out of the gates. I don't like any of that stuff, but there's people that film it.

[John Holmberg]

I'll film it from high grounds.

[Brett]

I won't film it. I'll watch the news. I'm not gonna do a good job of that. Ever watch your own videos? They suck. Yeah, all of them.

[John Holmberg]

They all suck at them. You think this is gonna be amazing.

[Brett]

I don't know. Why? People take so many videos of things. They're almost all bad. The only good videos is when your dog's doing something dumb and it's only good to you. You start showing it to other people, and next thing you know, you're walking around with a photo album of annoying crap. Yeah. Nobody takes good videos. And if you do, it was an accident. You're not going to be the one that gets the Guadalupe river rush that. Everybody's like, man, I'm a professional, and I did a terrible job. You. You nailed it. You're this. You're the star. It's just gonna be for you later.

[Byron]

Dan didn't send High Yellow down there for some video he may have.

[Brett]

I haven't. I didn't ask him if High Yellow was still around. Did you send High Yellow down? Huh? He has a friend named Huck. They go down there every once in a while. So, yeah, my dad's right in the middle of that. And then I. I watched the news, and they had some pastor on talking about. I had to hand it to the dude on Fox because he was. The pastor was like, miracles are happening each day here in the central hills of Texas, Two people were saved. 20 miles down, they got washed, and they lived. God is great. And I'm like, there's 81 dead people, you insensitive prick. We're talking about the two that lived as the good thing. If he was so great, why did it happen in the first place? Let alone you saved two, you lost 81 and counting. Don't go on TV and start talking about how awesome this is. Shut up. It's terrible. But I. Again, though, I have no sympathy for anyone. You want to stand on the end of a Runway and, like, I want to see what a plane looks like coming right at me. Okay, you're allowed to do that completely. And if you screw up somebody's car or you do something, you got to pay for it. It's got to happen out of your checkbook afterwards. Trust me. They'll ask for it. They'll get it. It's no big deal. But, yeah, just go stand in front of natural disasters and wonder. When we said, brady, you and I went to Hawaii and we walked around that volcano, that was one of the dumbest things I've ever done. There's no purpose to that. It wasn't pretty. We didn't learn anything. It was big, and it stunk.

[John Holmberg]

Looked down a vent.

[Byron]

Yeah, but it was a Lizzo concert or what?

[Brett]

Yeah. Yes, it was big, it was ugly, and it Stunk. It was Lizzo. She just laying down with her legs out.

[John Holmberg]

You pretty much could be in and out in 20 minutes.

[Brett]

20 minutes. We wandered around like waiting for something to happen. They've just. It's just this trail that goes all the way around. You're like, oh, this is a TV moment. I did not need to be here. And the sulfur stinks and the restaurant was bad.

[John Holmberg]

So we improvised. And turned into a fake tour.

[Brett]

Yeah, made fake tours out of it, which is fun. But yeah, standing next to a volcano. Eh? Why? We do a lot of dumb stuff every day. That's the dumbest you can be as the human. So I don't think the cops, the poor cops had to go stand by the river just in case idiots wanted to be in it that day. Whenever they have those huge storms and you see that one dude surfing. God, no. I'm not doing it. I'm not rescuing you.

[Byron]

Thanks, Bodhi. Keep going.

[Brett]

Why'd you rob the bank? You're gonna not enjoy your money.

[John Holmberg]

Bet you my truck can get through that.

[Brett]

It's just dumb. But I do have to hand it to pretty much everyone. And the state of Arizona did a good job with its only fireworks from the ground on the weekend. It didn't sound as much like Beirut as normal. So to the veterans and to the dogs. We're working on it. I'm still on your side, guys. I think any veteran of war with a little PTSD hates how Arizona allows you to just blow up whatever you want in your backyard. Got that? Dude won't die. I gotta say, I've been defending a 90 year old veteran in my neighborhood for 10 years now. Like, this dude's impervious. Like you can launch fireworks now. I'm not gonna defend him anymore. I thought it was like, man, he's in the final stages of his life. He just doesn't die. He's still there. He's got like a 1934 Ford pickup truck in his driveway. It's cool. All four tires are flat and have been forever, but it still looks good. He can't drive that thing. If he walks outside of the house, everybody rustles him back in. So I know he's probably not allowed, but I always worried when people would launch fireworks within a doorway away, that this poor old man sitting in there, just thinking of the Japs and stuff like that's all that's got to be going through his mind, is it? Drop it again. Put some sunshine on him. Like he just has to flash back. But nobody seems to care. About the veterans when it comes to 4th of July or anything like that, they just want to. They just want to watch the boomers go off. Dogs running all over. It wasn't so bad this year. I know it was bad. And I give you 4th of July and New Year's Eve. It's the days before and days after that. I don't understand. Because if you have a grandfather who's been through war and you wander over and go, pop, pop, hey, tomorrow's gonna be loud. And then it starts that day, and evidently, today's gonna be like, that's when he's gonna lose it. You can prep him for the Fourth of July. The sixth, not so much. But they gave you through the weekend. Hopefully you got it out of your system. I didn't see any news stories of people's arms and hands getting blown off. I'm sure Brett will have videos of that later.

[Byron]

I'm hoping.

[Brett]

But if you're currently walking around with your hand bandaged, I find it hilarious. It's the risks of the fun that you're. You're having.

[Byron]

Did you get the flyover? They did that big flyover on the 4th, like the jets coming out of Luke and.

[Brett]

No. Oh, did they loop the city again? Yeah. What time was that?

[Byron]

Six in the morning. No, no.

[Brett]

Yeah, No, I missed that. What was flying? I think.

[Byron]

I'm not sure.

[Brett]

I think they're F35s, but. Okay, cool.

[Byron]

Fighter jets from. From Luke, and I guess they were kind of circling the valley in Mesa down to Maricopa.

[Brett]

They did that during COVID once.

[Byron]

Yeah, I think they did it. They. They didn't come out as far as.

[John Holmberg]

Us, so I don't know for Mustang.

[Brett]

Those old P51s, they start floating those planes all over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they had a little four band formation, and then another plane went by and spelled out the logo. And in the smoke, the Fantastic Four movie promoting that.

[Byron]

I guess there's a commercial following it.

[Brett]

Well, the military's got to make money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It wasn't on the. It was a different deal. It wasn't the military.

[Brett]

Okay. It wasn't the Blue Angels. I was gonna say. Jesus Christ. Don't forget to plop down some cash at the theater.

[Byron]

Trump's making some money on that.

[Brett]

All right. But theaters are in trouble. What movies are dying. The Blue angel said after the show we should go watch the terrible Fantastic Four movie. Anyway. What are you gonna do? Happy Fourth, everybody. Now let's just settle in for the hot summer, My birthday and football. It's right around the corner. We'll have stuff to talk about soon that won't make everyone fight or email the station saying stop hating Trump. Stop Trump bashing.

[Byron]

We announce a contest today too. That's a volatile thing.

[Brett]

Oh, that's right. Is that happening for sure?

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, nobody today. I'm not sure I still work here. No one told me we started today. I'm gonna pack up some stuff and get out. Yeah, thank you. Because I. I wasn't. No confirmation from that for me at all. So. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm. I'm pretty sure I'm on thin ice around here. I don't know what's going on. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one. We'll scream it together. 585-9800 it is. It's your turn now to make something happen. And it's 98 Kup, Wake Up. It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Brett]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. It's insane. It was miles to nowhere. Thank you, Katie. And the Hobbs getting us through once again. I got a bark at Katie. In a minute, Katie. Hobbs gonna take my lashing in a second, right? Get the books out. This guy says 4th of July. I have a full blown redneck now lives across the street from. He's got like a thousand kids dude as his bro Dozer park next to a giant ass boat right in his driveway. Two cars parked out in front of the house now. So it's just a complete mess. So where does this doofus light his fireworks? Right in front of my house. And I'll tell you what, I never rooted so hard for a guy to get his hands blown off than I did this 4th of July. Thanks to that ass hat my dog's crapped everywhere, freaked out for hours on end.

[Byron]

How neighborly.

[Brett]

Yeah, payback's a bitch. And her stripper's name is karma. That's right. Yeah, it is kind of. But again, I'll give you the 4th of July and New Year's Eve. I can prepare for that. But don't do it on nights this you know, at least ask. Tell your neighbors if you're gonna have a party, the right thing to do is tell your neighbors, hey, we're up a little late. It's gonna get loud but It's a one off, but if you just spray it on them and then two in the morning, of course they're gonna go, hey, enough.

[Byron]

Yeah. Are you guys dogs? All good.

[Brett]

Yeah. The two that used to hate it so much are deaf now. Okay. So it's kind of better. Still not great. Yeah, but better.

[John Holmberg]

Our neighborhood was kind of light according to. Oh, was it Ronnie?

[Brett]

But yeah, it wasn't that bad.

[Byron]

Yeah, yeah, we had the re. We got the rescue dog. You know, we rescued the Doberman, and he was just like, what's going on?

[Brett]

Cool.

[Byron]

I'm just gonna chew my bone. Yeah, whatever.

[Brett]

Some care, some don't care. It's crazy. But, yeah. So, you know, just be considerate. That's coming from me. I got two emails in a row, which are odd. Tamara emailed in and said, look what I got on my phone yesterday. And it was a. It was kind of an interesting. It was a. You know, one of those alerts that pops up and it was. It said, disability Pride Month has begun. Discover Games for Disability Pride Month. Now, you remember a couple weeks ago, we talked about the St. Louis Cardinals and Chip Carey, who talked about Disability Pride Month and has the disability. And then he didn't say flag. He said, sounds like flag, but it isn't. And he used the Brennaman flag, and he said it, and then it was just raucous laughter that they had to turn the mics off for 45 seconds while they tried to figure out if they still work there. But we were trying to figure it out, too. Is Disability Pride gay cripples or just people super proud of being, you know, not able bodied, as they say? I got it. I got an answer.

[Byron]

I'm gonna step out of this conversation.

[Brett]

Why?

[Byron]

No, because I'll just.

[Brett]

You have enough money to cover it?

[Byron]

My checkbook's a little light right now.

[Brett]

I got your back, buddy. It's totally legal to do that. It says, john, I have to correct you on Disability Pride. Oddly enough, it was right after I have one leg and it starts. The subject says, it's Disability Pride Month. I have one leg. I'm technically disabled. And trust me, I'm hardly proud of it. I shot my own leg when I was 17. 12 gauge against my thigh in the back of a pickup truck. Oh, point blank. Blew his thighs apart. Anyway. Says to take pride in how this happened and why it happened would make me completely stupid. It's like having proud of my debilitating stroke due to drug use month. Granted, that's not everyone's story, but Disabled pride does not mean we're gay. It's just another group for you to hate, you able bodied white bastard. Well, that is true. He doesn't have a point there. So that other than other than being able bodied, I'm right there with you. No one ever says, thank God I've got bird bones. What a gift. So proud of my condition. It's like you said. I bet you're trying to cure the thing you're so proud of, though. Just my two cents. Signed Travis Hoppalong Kessinger, loyal listener. Loyal listener since 2012. Now based in Billings, Montana. Not Toledo's dad. Thank you, Travis. A lot of extra information there at the end. Touched them all, but he nailed them all. And that's. You know what? I look at the disabled pride thing. I mean, go ahead and find. But the word pride is now associated with gay. So when I see disabled pride, I get nervous. As an able bodied, white cisgender, gay, Jew, I don't know what I am anymore. I look at the word pride and I'm like, tiptoe. You know, proceed with caution. Don't get, don't get grouchy about pride is gay. I'm sorry, that's just. They took it. That's there. So disabled people, you have to come up with another word. Plus, you're not proud of that. It is what it is. It's just, you know, life, pride. I'm proud, I'm breathing. But he's right. Like, Michael J. Fox doesn't go on TV and go, I'm so proud of my Parkinson's. It's like, no, just proud of yourself. You're fighting this mess, disease, pride. Yeah, but all you're doing as far as I see, is trying to cure this thing you're so proud of. It's like when Lizzo was running around talking about how proud she was to be fat and how, you know, she had all this pride and body positivity and then she lost weight. Now she can't stop posing in bikinis and talking about how healthy she is. And I'm like, yeah, I wish she would. That's what we were telling you when you were getting mad at us a while ago. Do you remember how mad she'd get when people be like, lizzo's a pig and south park did the thing and Lizzo's a pig. And she's like, arrr, it's body positivity and you guys are jerks. For now, she's skinny and all it is is health benefits. And we know exactly what you're proud of and not proud of and you shouldn't be proud of that. You can accept it. There's no pride in that. It's like me being proud of my nose. I'm not. Pride look like a candy apple with a carrot sticking off the end of it. I'm dead. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Rhino Pride.

[Brett]

I'm not proud. The only time you start saying your pride is, yeah, I have Rhino pride. I'm not. My Rhino Pride Month is not. That's for people with huge noses. They have to act like they're okay with it. We're not okay with it. You're not okay with it. There's a cure for it. I just don't want to spend the money. And my only fear is if you cured my giant nose, what if the doctor messed it up and it got worse? That scares the hell out of me. So yeah. Rhino Pride Month is not a thing. I would run around with flags and stuff. So just say. And it says, what games would you play for? Disabled pride depends on the disabled, doesn't it? Like I'm. I'm not gonna do stair climbing events for a lot of them. I think disabled pride comes with a. It all depends. But I preferred it when I thought it was gay because pride is gay and there probably aren't that many disabled gays. I'm sure there are a few. But I don't think there's a load to where they need their own month. But when I see the word disabled people, this is on you. You have to change that. When I see the word pride, I tread lightly because you don't want to step on that and end up losing your job or writing checks to people you don't know.

[John Holmberg]

And awareness should be.

[Brett]

That's not bad. That's pretty good. Awareness is always safe because that feels like we can ignore it and let them go about their business. You say disabled pride and I think there's going to be a street closed. If I look at it wrong. They're going to report me. And that those pride people get grouchy. You cuz. You know. But you can. I. I honestly that maybe the only parade I'd ever go to is the Disabled Pride parade. There's a bunch of gay disabled running around in boas and they decorate their crutches and their sticks and their chairs with. It would be pretty. It would be pretty awesome. Flamboyant disabled people. I'm all in on that. And I watched the wnba. There's a lot more disabled gays than I thought when they thank you very much. That was. I won chance to take a swing at the lady basketball. That checkbook out. Trust me, I'm working for free now.

[Byron]

You're gonna have season tickets to the Mercury before this is all said and done.

[Brett]

That's what I'll work for now. It's true. So it's kind of fun also. And this is the thing I wanted to get to right here. I personally believe that I had quite a hand in this and no one will ever give me credit for it because they would have to admit they knew. I'm pretty sure that I helped stop photo radar the way it used to be in this city by making it a very loud media push on this end from the number one show in the city that they don't pay attention to. But it still exists. When I said it was unlawful, the way they had a secondary business taking photos of us and saying we'd done something wrong in cahoots with law enforcement to where like if McDonald's agreed to start saying, ah, I got jaywalkers and we're taking pictures of them, McDonald's find you and they send out letters. You would never pay that fine if some secondary business finds you. You're not allowed. I'm big on this right now. You're not allowed to be fined. Just willy nilly. Arbitrary fees coming out of the sky just is not right. So you have. They're starting to bring it back. Some new company just popped up and said that they're talking about photo radar and they're on this campaign now on the news and everything else. And this is one of those moments where you have to start seeing through it. They're talking about the safety and your kids and oh, it's just, it's. They go to small towns and like ever since we put these cameras up, we've noticed a massive difference in safety. And Phoenix is. The numbers are coming, blowing them up where they're like, oh, it's one of the most dangerous major cities for car accidents and everything else. I'm all for the red light running. I'm all for cameras for that. I have no problem with you blowing through a red light and getting your picture taken and at least getting shown, hey, we caught you. You could have killed someone. That one needs. But if you're just speeding on Lincoln, there's nobody there and some computer takes a picture of you. If you're on the i10 and they've got one set up like they used to have every mile and they can get you multiple times if you're not paying attention. You don't even know. And you get all those tickets, by the way. And I know that from having done it on purpose. How many tickets you get? If you're flying down the I, 10, I'm going like 90. And you get a ticket from the first one, and then a mile and a half later, another one will get you. It's. You would. If a cop pulled you over, you probably wouldn't get that second ticket. You'll get two or three. So I have to start my campaign again. And I'm going to try to talk Larry the king of cupd into starting something where we give away, maybe in conjunction with castle boutique or fascinations, 18 inch veiny penises, because it is illegal.

[John Holmberg]

Speed rods.

[Brett]

Speed rods. That's a good one, Brady. I like that. We'll call it speed rods. And you put a speed rod in front of your face and you. And if this company that takes pictures of you holding a giant wiener. And I know that this was back 12 or 13 years ago, and some of the pictures weren't very clear. Technology with cameras has gotten great. So you're gonna get veins and wrinkles and dots and like this giant dildo that I would encourage you all to hold while you speed. Buy these cameras. It's illegal for the state to disseminate pornography through the mail. And if you've got a big wang out like I do, and I'm proud it's a framed photo in my house, you give it to your neighbor with children preferably, and say, come with me. We're going over to the paradise valley courthouse or the Phoenix courthouse, and we're gonna say, did you send this to my house? Cause this isn't even me. I don't know why you're sending me pictures of a guy holding a great big dick, but my kid opened it, and I'm gonna sue you for your city bond. They'll panic like you've never seen in your life because they're not allowed to do that. And then they'd have to admit, well, it can go to the wrong house. And if it can go to the wrong house, then it is a flawed system because very rarely does a police officer pull Brady over and Brett gets the ticket. It doesn't happen. But that's what these photo radar things, they're going to try to sell you on the idea that it's safer, it's better, it slows people down. It does nothing. It did. There was zero difference in safety. What it does is scared old people into throwing $130 the state's way without ever questioning it. And the reason why is because on the bottom of the paper they sent you, the company, not the state, the company that sent you something in conjunction with the state said, if you don't pay this, you don't have a driver's license anymore. And that is just simply not true. This is not true. They have to process, serve you. They have to serve you. And they've changed the rules for that, too. So I'll go back on my crusade. Brady, get my stick and my pony. We're going to knock down some windmill because they're lying about this and it's starting again. And I don't know what the new company's name is. What was it? Red Box? Red Flex was the original one, right? The new one back is. And all the news is like, oh, it's necessary. No, it is not. Our freeways will flow exactly the same way with or without those cameras. And in the daytime, you don't know when it's taking your picture. And on a freeway, it can only choose, like, a lane or two.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing worse than if you've had it happen before. But it's catching that flash.

[Brett]

Sure. After I like it, you go by.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I think I just got it.

[Brett]

I love it. In fact, this guy's got a good idea. Drive around with a mask on like it's Covid. Excellent. And then you go in and go, I don't know who this is. I think someone stole my car. I'd like to file a complaint. Oh, it's you, isn't it? No, it's some dude in a mask. I'd never wear a mask. Trump 2028, and then you just lose your mind on it. There's ways around this that are huge. How about Operation Ramrod? John? Yeah. If I could get the station behind giving away giant dicks, and I don't know that if that's ever been done before.

[Byron]

Why are we stealing promotions from Katie kb? I mean, this is. Come on.

[Brett]

Well, you know, we're above that. When. When. Here's my promise to the disabled pride community. Is that when we kill this a second time, which I'm convinced we did it the first time. A second time. We'll give all of our surplus dicks to KDKB to give away at their next parade, none will go to waste. Holmberg's morning sickness. Those wieners will find homes. And, boy, will they find homes. Dark, hot homes. But, yeah, it's. It's time that we. We did this again. That is not. You know, everybody brings up big brother, and it's too much. Everybody. Oh, that's big brother. This is. This is insane that you would. That you would adhere to that kind of crap to say that, you know, speeding along a freeway at. Prove it. Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't. But you got to go and into the courtroom and have the thing. It's all stacked against you. You. So you just. This one says that the best way to avoid a cam ticket is have your wife drive. They never go over the speed. That's very true. Like, one thing I'm convinced of is that Megan will never get one of these tickets. In fact, the camera. Somebody could draw her. You could have, like, a courtroom artist on the side of the freeway drawing her, going. We were going. 1. I've never been in an accident. You hit our mailbox. Well, that doesn't count. Okay, how did you hit the mailbox? The end of the driveway, and you were pulling in. You hit it on the wrong side. It's still a quandary. It's Neil DeGroth. Tyson could not figure out the physics of how she hit the mailbox with the passenger side on the. I still don't know how that happened, and I watched it, and I don't know how it happened. Did I just hit that? You did. That's your fault. Why? Because you were standing in the driveway. Huh? Yeah, I was trying to pull in, and you were in the driveway, and you distracted me. You shouldn't have a driver's license. There should be, you know, many other cars and people are out in the. One guy in the driveway made you hit a pillar.

[Byron]

Hope that old man got that tractor beam shot off. It was gonna be a short trip.

[Brett]

Exactly. So I'm on my crusade again, and I'm gonna be the only one that does this. For some reason, the media seems to be jumping in on this in a big way.

[John Holmberg]

And are they putting. Oh, I didn't see, like, Are more going up this time.

[Brett]

Well, I don't know if it's official yet. They're pushing it, and I don't know. There was an. Used to drive up and down the i10. We took. We. Toledo was with me the day I got the. The framed ticket with the big dick in my hand.

[Byron]

So it's you guys at a big crank in the middle.

[Brett]

It's just me. And unfortunately, the really good one's black and white, but you still see it. And I am. I was speeding on purpose. I was going, like, 90, and I'm flying. And I'd hold the dick up right when those cameras and you could see the little thing shudder. Just laugh. It's fun to do, by the way, if you got an open freeway in some time. Grab a dick and hang on. It's, it's. I'm telling you, it should be the.

[Byron]

New promo from David Lee.

[Brett]

Grab a dick and hang on. Camel country went away.

[Byron]

Is this the same dick that was on the side of Brady's car when he took it off out of the parking lot?

[John Holmberg]

18 inches multi.

[Brett]

We had a purpose. We stuck it to Brady's car and he didn't see it and he drove away. And as it's flopping around, I'm like, that thing's got some weight on it. At speed would actually kill a man.

[John Holmberg]

I assaulted the town of Guadalupe.

[Brett]

Yeah, we had to. We called him Brady, pull over. We were gonna let you go, but we had to go. That was the same day we had to go all the way to Peoria. And Brady was the first one. We watched him pull out of the parking lot and he didn't see it. And we adjusted his side mirror so he couldn't ever look. I went to great lengths of sticking that to his car. It was awesome. And then. But that thing donging out as he drove away. First off, we couldn't stop laughing long enough to call you immediately. You got a mile away before, like, okay, okay. Somebody called. And the best part of that phone call was, Brady, you need to pull over. What for? You can't see it, but on the side back quarter panel of your, you've got an 18 inch dick stuck to the side of your car. And it's large. You guys are slap jags. That's the best he had. Slapjacks really put us in our place. And then he pulled over at the gas station. Come on. So we got hold of it when we went to Peoria. And that was when I came up with my brilliant plan of ending photo radar that day. And I did it. My neighbor in Arcadia took his young son to the Paradise Valley courthouse and said, I got this in the mail today. What is this? The photo radar. This is not me, not my car. And I don't know what that is. Oh, the lady behind the counter. And my son opened it and this toe headed little boy standing there. It was great. Best part is my neighbor was a tall, handsome version of me. Shaved head, tall guy, great. More than happy to do it. And then suddenly, rover. I had to go to the city. We went to Phoenix. He and I went to Phoenix. Paradise Valley was the one I went was my sovereign citizen guy who I thought might get us arrested. He was a sovereign citizen of the United States and he announced it to everyone who asked and then did a commercial code. I'm a sovereign citizen of these United States and I hold blah blah blah blah blah blah under the universe UCC 1215. And I'm like, oh my God, he better know his stuff. And he went to Paradise Valley and told him you're disseminating porn through the. Through the mail and that's illegal. And your city bond is $34 million and I will have it. Poor old lady at the counter has no idea what. Why am I looking at a picture of a guy holding a dick? This isn't what I signed up for. So KUPD's. We should call it the big dick giveaway. We'll just put Toledo's face on it. Oh, there you go. And that way we get. You can do whatever you want with it, but it is not. Cuz I don't know. I'm going to take John's advice on traffic tickets anymore. I'm an HOV lady and last week I got my first HOV lane ticket. Might have been my fault because I passed a motorcycle cop. Well, there again you're an idiot. That's your fault. The police didn't have jurisdiction on the freeway when they're on motorcycles. Well, that's your fault, dummy. Police always have jurisdiction. You know, you never see cops on motor chips was all about motorcycles on the freeway. You never see motorcycle cops just shaking their fist. Why you not my Joe's picture. There's Ponch.

[Byron]

Step on it.

[Brett]

He can't pull us over. He's a motorcycle cop on the freeway. Those are the ones they want on the freeway. They're faster. Dumb. That's just silly. Anyway, I will stop this again and I'll do it and you guys can. You guys can king me later. But I'm for this. Brady, would you ever hold the dick up and drive fast? You want your Kirby to do it? She's driving now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she wouldn't do it. I wouldn't.

[Brett]

You wouldn't let her do it? You'd rather pay the fine?

[John Holmberg]

No, just reveal aware again. It's like in the past. You just knew where they were. Yeah, that helped.

[Brett]

No, it's. There's. The problem is people speed and slow down and speed and slow down. It just disrupts the flow of traffic to have these cameras. It's. It actually makes you an idiot driver. That you'll be going, oh crap, there's a thing. And then everybody breaks or somebody does something abrupt. It, it, it's dumb, it's a terrible idea.

[John Holmberg]

Then it's a slight laziness factor.

[Brett]

What do you mean you won't pick up your.

[John Holmberg]

No, you hold it up and do it. And then you get sent to you. Now you got to go down there.

[Brett]

No you don't. And say not until they serve you. Just make sure that all your pictures are in the past but always have a dick in the picture just in case they serve you. Cuz they won't. The city will look at that and go, don't do it, don't do it. This guy says in today's age someone will be suing, pressing charges for pics of dicks in their mail. So let them do it. Give some money back to the state. We already pay so much in taxes. It's true. Just another way to fleece the elderly and scare them into giving more of their money away.

[John Holmberg]

Frustrating that the fact that I don't know if it, you know, like you said, the research shows. Does it improve?

[Brett]

Look, I can tell you right now, the research that you do to say it improves it. You'll find it. The research you do that says it sucks, you'll find it.

[John Holmberg]

The red light running is.

[Brett]

Has it done anything? I don't know, nobody knows. But I guarantee you there's certain people that'll say it has and certain people that say it hasn't. There's no definitive answer there. But I do know we are according to.

[John Holmberg]

I've always heard that we are, you know, one of the leaders.

[Brett]

Awesome Ash. Because all our roads are straight. We just get going and we lose it for a second. And we try to gun lights because they're straight. You can. There's no like turns or weird stuff. They don't run red lights, I guarantee you. At that weird thing at McDowell and 19th and Veering, that's six way stop.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's running red light to go on a green light.

[Brett]

Hate that thing. I don't know where I am. I've lived in this city for a hundred years.

[John Holmberg]

Well which way am I going?

[Brett]

I get on that thing and I almost start crying. I'm like, I need to be on that road. What lane do I need to be in to go there?

[Byron]

The angled one taking grand anywhere FC up.

[Brett]

Oh, it's six stops, there's a stick and there's a fifth thing. And like no railroad tracks and everything. I don't know. I love roundabouts those make sense to me. I like four way stops. Those are second best. This six way thing, if you want to talk about somebody being cautious, watch me. At a six way stop, I'll sit through a light just to watch everybody else. It's like double Dutch here. Let's just see how this goes and then I'll join in later. But no camera's necessary there because people will pay attention because it's confusing. When it's straight shots, we run stuff. But I'm going to. I'm going to stop this again. I will make it my pledge to you that this photo radar thing is no good. No good unless they take all the money from photo radar, all of it, and use it to train and hire more police officers. So it'll go away. Its objective is to end it, Then we'll go, then we can run with that. But they're not doing that. This is essentially saying, we're, we're undermanned and we're gonna stop trying. Nowhere worse than Lincoln Road. They've got like a weird computer set up. You know what else is another thing? They've got a truck that sits there 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They don't use the minivan thing.

[Brett]

Yeah, they got two minivans on Lincoln, one on McDonald's. So within like a mile, there's three. And they're just parked. And I'm like, isn't that kind of a waste of money to have a truck that could be used?

[John Holmberg]

Just when did they pack that up? When does it get a break?

[Brett]

I've never seen it. Not there. Oh, that one dude had, man. He. My sovereign citizen went in there with his sovereign citizen nonsense and demanded it's a computer that flashed the ticket recalibrated in front of him. And I'm like, you don't even know what that would look like. They could just come in and tinker with it and be like, we're doing it because. Yeah, but it puts them out. They're just gonna throw this away. If enough of us do this, this goes away. I agree that this needs to end. If you don't catch me, it doesn't count. I'm not gonna sit here and take pictures of Brady and then give them to the. To the police. And they're like, it's enough for me. Let's find him the car. You imagine that if I didn't like how you pulled into the parking lot and I took some photos of you, I'm like, this is illegal. He makes a left Hand turn here every day. It's illegal. I took photos and I brought it to the city. And they find you. It's not a citizen's arrest. There's no arrest. It's a citizen being an asshole. And then I just go. And then. And then the state would be like, you're out of your mind. You're taking photos of a guy. We can't prove this, but for some reason, this company can't. Oh, you got me going now. First day back.

[John Holmberg]

The thing that got me too with the red flex was the amount of money that they got.

[Brett]

Oh, they got a time like a third. What does this one mean? It says, guys, not to beat a dead horse, but sounds like something a dumb broad would say, right?

[Byron]

Basically talking about driving around a big dick.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. Well, you know, or just whip it out there. Get a little roadie action going or something like that. Have the wife participate. Make sure that you've got something pornographic and awful happening in your car right around those traffic jams. You know, it'll end it. If you could talk your grandparents into it. If you could talk Grandma into driving around with one of those big floppy pancakes laying over the top of the steering wheel, the state would be like, we're gonna end this. We don't wanna. We don't need to. If we start showing them things they don't wanna see, and trust me, most of us, nobody wants to see our naked. Start driving around like Bo and Luke with our shirts off, they're gonna stop this whole photo campaign. But we need. I don't know if we do. We still have a relationship with the folks at Fascinations. We're gonna need 3,000 giant dicks.

[Byron]

Sales department's gonna be all over that.

[Brett]

I'm sure of it. Our big. Our big giveaway. That's what we should do. A Slump Buster Big Dick Super Drive. See who can get the most dicks down in sales.

[Byron]

I can't imagine Susan calling the meeting for that.

[Brett]

Why? She has a Slump Buster sale. It's the same thing this one says. You think? Rico Blaze flashes his third arm to the camera as he's passing by and asks the judge for a framed picture. Rico Blaze goes by. Oh, no. All right. Officer Rico Blaze, sir. Nuts a lot up in this house. How you doing, Bert?

[Byron]

How you doing, Rico?

[Brett]

Bert, I gotta tell you something. I met your girl the other day over at that bar she works at. All right. Dam you all got married. And I saw the ring. It's cute. But if that girl was mine, Brady, she'd Have so many carrots in her hand, she'd be a vegetarian. When you get that photo radar up there, John, talking about big dicks, you gotta buy one. That's adorable. Some of us come equipped. And when I say come equipped, you know what I'm talking about. So Nuts, a lot can make it rain inside the car. You want to have the Bellagio on your photo? I'm offering a brand new service. So Nuts, A lot will ride for free when these cameras go up and coach you with a milk like honey that you can't even imagine. You're gonna look like. Slimer from Ghostbusters went by, take that over to the city and show them that's me covered in man milk. And I don't think you should be sending that. I'd like to counter the KUPD offer with Rico Speed Rods. Actual size Rico Blaze dicks that can drive because they have their own self awareness. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You want for your freedom?

[Brett]

Yeah. You know what we should have too? Fat white women in the front seat. Nobody wants to see them but me. Anyway. So get your pictures. Start speeding fat white ladies. You know what? I can make him speed, Brett. All I have to do is, hey, fat white lady, come here. And they fly him. All right? Yeah. I heard John mention that he looks like a candy apple. Something on me looks like a candy apple too, except for it's on a radio tower. I like your idea. Homework. You white men go out there and buy yourself some giant dicks. Us black guys are gonna save $83. That's right. I know how much they cost. Don't ask how. I just do. All right. So long. There he goes. Rico Blaze back for no reason. It's been a minute. It has been a minute, sir. Nuts. A lot took a break. Is he still doing videos?

[Byron]

I don't have to look him up. Yeah, he's got nothing else to do right now.

[Brett]

You go ahead and do that. Another thing over the week that we were off was there's a fan that was banned from Diamondbacks games for the whole year. This has to end. This. This is silly. They. They banned fans for. There's no way this can be implemented. You can't. You can't ban. Nobody's. Nobody's paying attention. This dude has interfered four different times from his seat in games. So he's reached over. And so by the fourth one, they're like, that's it. No more season tickets. You're out. You can't sit. Who. Which one of those old people is watching you come into the that knows you. Who's gonna recognize you? You just sit in a different spot, right?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, if he's not interfering with the Look. Outfield warrior.

[Brett]

You.

[John Holmberg]

You sit in so many different seats. There's enough.

[Brett]

Enough people in there. Anyway, they say he's banned from Chase Field.

[Byron]

Thank you.

[Brett]

Try. Try to ban me from Chase Field. I remember I got banned from the Comic Con because I was making fun of the nerds. They said, you're banned, and I went back the next day, and I'm like, it's a costume party, you dumb. How are you gonna find me banning me from Halloween? No, you're not allowed to do it. How will you know? We won't. We were hoping you were. Wouldn't say that. So this guy's been banned. He's an idiot. Quit touching the ball. Dave McCaskill.

[John Holmberg]

Do they put the photo up?

[Brett]

Well, one of them, yeah.

[Byron]

It's like the post office.

[Brett]

They got the wanted signs in the wow lobby. If you see this man, it's like, what are we supposed to rat him out of? Like, that's the guy that shouldn't be here.

[John Holmberg]

He's the guy on the wall.

[Brett]

How about instead of banning him, he just scoot him back diamond, Put him.

[Byron]

In the three hundreds.

[Brett]

Put him. Yeah, put him. Put him up high for a little bit. So you're allowed in this level only.

[Byron]

Nothing coming up there anyway.

[Brett]

If we sit. And the only thing you could do is just ban him from the front row. It's the only.

[John Holmberg]

And I mean, that eliminates the whole problem.

[Brett]

Put him two rows back. He's a season ticket holder. You don't want to piss them off. You have a chat with him going. You interfered a little too much to be a. We can't trust you courtside here. You got to sit back a few rows. Look. Oh, I love. So you blew this. This is your fault.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I mean, if he is a season ticket holder, if he's not hot, he is still hard.

[Brett]

Well, you can't do it.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, if you're just a general fan. Look, and you're like, we can't have you sitting on that line, right?

[Brett]

On your season tickets, it says knock it off. Yeah, all over. Knock it off. We have the right to take this from you at any given time. If you act like a dick, you know, no refund, you lose your tickets. And I was worried about that when I brought my one friend to a basketball game for the Suns and he was on Molly or something, I didn't know it. And he started to Try to touch the people in front of us. And then used, like, two racial slurs. So we left. And I'm like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna lose my seats. I knew that those were the rules. Like, I followed the protocol. I didn't want to be out the money, but to have them come up and go, all right, you and you. You're banned from the arena. You can't. Nobody's. Nobody's implementing this. There are no wanted posters. You can't. There's. It's an artificial thing. And the news, like, he's been banned for the whole year. But he did. He did keep touching baseballs. And that's dumb. Didn't we learn from bartman at all 23 years ago, now 22. Didn't Baartman teach us? Keep your hands in? If you go back and watch the Steve Bartman play, he's got enough balls there behind him. Oh, my God. That guy's stolen baseball after baseball. But the Bartman play, everybody's like. Everybody was reaching over. No, they weren't. Bartman was. He was the only one that got involved. The other guy pulled his hands back. Don't reach over. You have your line. And that's the thing that's gonna just. And there's. The other thing, is that Diamondbacks move the fence in a foot and a half, Put a barrier. You know what I mean? Make it so we can't reach the players. It's not that important anymore. But this idiot.

[John Holmberg]

It'd be good if they made him wear a bracelet or something, you know, that had the invisible fence. They'd get zapped if they reached over.

[Brett]

That would. That would be awesome. And I would love to watch that. Because I was his friend. I'd be putting his hand in that invisible line. Constant. Oh, I'd be electrocuting him. Like, you know, Percy and Green Mile. But yeah, he's on TV now. He's like, for. How are you, dude? I'm gonna take that guy to a. If you're listening right now, Dave McCaskill, I'd like to invite you to a ball game. I'm taking you to a ball game, and we're gonna sit in seats that aren't up close so you can behave like a normal human being. Only reason I want to do that is to watch those old people going, you're the guy that's banned. Like, yeah. And what the are you gonna do about it, Gladys? We're in.

[Byron]

Don't we have that Hubbard suite coming up here soon? We can just bring him with us.

[Brett]

I don't know if I'm gonna be allowed in there right now. It's kind of something that they asked me to be part of, and I'm not so sure I'm anyone who likes me here. So we'll see. You guys can go and take Dave McCaskill in my place. I think that'll work out nicely. Yeah, but it was a home run ball in the eighth, and if it was a interference, then it wouldn't have been a home run ball. So you have to kind of judge all that. Dave. Mike. Dave McCaskill. I'd like to take you to a ball game. Drinks, food, on me. I'd like to take Mr. McCaskill just to see this Diamondback security crack staff in action of what they would do if Dave tried to get back in there.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe we could even buy a message for the.

[Brett]

Welcome Dave McCaskill.

[John Holmberg]

Happy birthday.

[Brett]

We do one of those tweets of him and I sitting next to each other. Look who I'm with. Yeah. And he's just reaching over a fence because he can't stop himself.

[Byron]

That's brilliant.

[Brett]

He might be an idiot. I don't know Dave McCaskill at all. But I think that would be pretty fun because I don't see any implementation of banning someone from a stadium ever. Then they just do that with something else, too. They ban.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

There's another guy that interfered, but it wasn't even interfering. He did something dumb.

[Byron]

Well, the White Sox guy got banned.

[Brett]

That's right. What was he doing?

[Byron]

I forgot he was Austin Catal's.

[Brett]

That's right. Because he. He started to say horrible things about his family and made a man cry. I'd like to invite him to a ball game, too, just. And not because I think he's a good person. I just want to see the crack staff.

[John Holmberg]

The band work.

[Brett]

Yeah. It doesn't work banning things when you have. You have to have a structure for it, like a band. Now, that's just the honor system. Yeah.

[Byron]

I think you can get them by the Walmart greeters that are working at.

[Brett]

The D backs never once gone into a ball game and thought, man, look at the go getters they've got on the front lines here. Those lines last forever because they can't figure out the bippies that touch your phone. Yours isn't working, Mike. No, you're not working. I have my ticket. You can see it.

[John Holmberg]

I want to take the guy that's been banned all the ballparks and just set up a table in the lobby for autographs.

[Brett]

Banned in all 32 parks. Has there been a guy who's been banned from all of them?

[Byron]

Yeah, that guy from the White Sox.

[Brett]

Team for all the games. Oh, I thought it was just Chicago.

[John Holmberg]

The entire mlb.

[Brett]

What's his name? Let's fly him out here. I'll pay for the tickets, we'll get a ticket out here, and we'll have him sit down. The only person that might actually see this and hate it is Katelma. He might look and go, that's that dick that made me cry.

[John Holmberg]

Can you imagine if it'd be interesting to see if you could point him out?

[Brett]

You couldn't. Who at the Arizona Diamondbacks knows that guy's faith?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'm saying, even if for Kappel, if he could point him out.

[Brett]

This guy says, I was banned for life from Target on Gilbert in the 202 for stealing headphones back in high school. I've been back there a hundred times. Yeah. All new employees there. You would. You should hope that Target has some sort of a turnover from high school to. When you're in your 30s and 40s, you go back and see the same people. Like, no, no. Oh, my God. When are you gonna leave this job? I'm a target for life guy. I'm here forever. I have my eyes on you.

[John Holmberg]

And what happens on the band, maybe that's how it keeps it out. Like, if you are found in the. In there, there's a huge fine.

[Brett]

Based on what? Yeah. Where's the legality? I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. How do they.

[Brett]

You can't. Again, you cannot turn them away. Let me say this for everybody listening. You can't just randomly find people out of the blue. You can't. No.

[Byron]

You sure?

[Brett]

No, I know first. I know for a fact. Okay. Can't be done. Whoops, wrong button. Yeah, it can't be done. So if the diamond's like, all right, that's it. You're fine. Don't pay it. What are they gonna do? They have. They're not an authority to anything. They just ask you to leave. That's all they can do is ask you to leave. And if you start pitching a fit, you'd be arrested. And I don't know if the dude, when he left the ballpark the last time, signed some papers that said, you can be arrested for this.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

That's different.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying.

[Brett]

If he agreed to anything, then it's on him. But if they just said all Right. You're out, and you're banned forever. And then they kicked him in the butt like a cartoon. Get out of here. Boing doing down the sidewalk. We never want to see your face again. You're banned. All right. The next day, I'd have gone back the next day on principal. Like, I did the Comic Con with Larry. Next day, that's it. You're banned. Why? You were making fun of it. I'm like, it's something to make fun of. I interviewed Randy the Macho Man Savage six times. They were all six different people. I mean, yeah, that's hilarious. I'm gonna make fun of that. You're not allowed in here. It's a safe place. All right? Right. So I'm. I'm banned forever. Okay. See you tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Sign this.

[Brett]

How will. How. And I even said, how will you know I'm there? Oh, well, no, I don't think you will. I went in there, no mask, no nothing. Just walked around, totally fine. Next day. Bands are. Bands are for people who are kind of pussies to pat themselves on the back like they got some sort of. Oh, I got it. Done. Done. That's different. You could be banned from something. But unless.

[John Holmberg]

I don't disagree with the D back guy. Interfering four times.

[Brett]

That's a lot of interfering. The guy's a dick. But just scoot him back. It's an easy solution. Just go, hey, we love your passion, but you can't control yourself. We're going to have to move you back five roads. I want to sit up front. No. You burn that bridge. Or put him in that seat again. And then put, like, a big box around him, like a big, clear box. He's not. And he tries to reach for something, he just smashes his hand into the. Ow. See? You're gonna learn eventually. Or have a guy that sits there at the stairs, who works for the Diamondbacks, shock him every time he reaches over the fence. But if he reaches four times, you're asking for it. But, Mr. McCaskill, I'd like to take you to a ball game. We've got Company C. We got that suite. I think that's the 23rd.

[Byron]

Something like that.

[Brett]

Yeah. Go see the Astros. They hung 18 on the Dodgers the other day.

[Byron]

Sure. Trip was about to hang himself.

[Brett]

No, I'm pretty sure that was it. Yeah. But, yeah, the. We'll take Dave McCaskill. That'll be fun. So, open. Invite Dave McCaskill. You've got one ticket waiting for you to any Diamondback game you want to Go to. All you got to do is contact me. [e-mail] let's test this band, Dave. I need to see some paperwork, and I can't get in trouble for taking the band guy. All I have to do is go. He didn't tell me. Wait a minute. You're banned from the stadium. It's kind of badass, but if you're interfering with baseball, you're just a dick. Four times. That's a lot. In the outfield, too. That dude was. He's hungry for baseball, and he's like a hungry hippo. They just come to him.

[John Holmberg]

The whole reason I got the seats.

[Brett]

I got banned from the Sears at Fiesta mall because me and my friend Mark Stabbings were screwing around with the elevator two floors. And we kept. We found the stop elevator button, and an alarm would go off, and we got a massive kick out of that. And then the alarm stopped going off, and we would stop it, like, and try to leap out, like, before. It would get all the way to the bottom. We'd hit a thing. We figured out this elevator was faulty in, like, a hundred directions. The doors would still open whether it had landed or not. And we were crawling out of there, flopping around. And then some guy just grabbed my shirt. And he's just like, regular guy, dressed like Brett, but he was evidently Sears security. Good gig, honey. We're on easy street now. I just got a gig at Sears. I'm Sears security.

[John Holmberg]

When he got caught, tears.

[Brett]

Oh, horrified.

[John Holmberg]

Horrified.

[Brett]

On the verge. On the verge. I. I cried later. But at the time, I. Mark was still running, and I think I actually said the phrase, give yourself up, man. I thought. And I think. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure I treated it like we got caught robbing a bank. But we were just breaking the elevator. They were furious on the morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. And they didn't. You know, the guy said, you're banned from this Sears for life. I think we were back there that day. I don't. I think we actually walked past that guy a couple more times. Like, what's he gonna do? Yeah, What? We were in the parking lot. Remember? Sears was down in that little gully. So you go. We're walking around like, we had to go home. And I'm like, there's a whole rest of the mall. We can avoid the Sears. So we're like, wonder if we went. And we walked back through the Sears to get to the mall, and nothing happened.

[John Holmberg]

Hung out at Mer.

[Brett]

Go round I think we. I think I did. Now that I'm remembering. I don't even. Merry go Round was around going to Aladdin's castle. We went to Aladdin's Castle. I kind of remember almost crying. I don't think I. I didn't sob, which is rare. I normally in those situations when authority.

[John Holmberg]

I thought there was one of them. You got.

[Brett]

Oh, there's plenty of times I cried when I got yelled at. That one. I. I got emotional, but I wasn't sobbing. I was just trying to get Mark to give himself up. We were just getting in more trouble. Trouble with him because he had me by the shirt and he's reaching for Mark. And Mark was ducking and dodging real good. And at the time, I was just a boy. And Mark had grown into full grown man. So we were in sixth grade. So he was already six feet tall.

[John Holmberg]

Mustache had.

[Brett]

Had hair. Yeah, he's like an Iranian woman. That dude was covered in air and he's. And. And so he's reaching for. But he had to hang on to me. Me. And I was squirrely, but I had given up. I kind of. I gave up. Right.

[Byron]

Dan was gonna get a hold of you when he got home.

[Brett]

That was my biggest fear. Oh, my shirt. Mr. Didn't call. He didn't. I did scream because he was twisting up. My shirt was a Varnay tank top. Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

You don't mess with that at the time. Expense.

[Brett]

That wasn't cheap. It was one of the good ones, too, with just the logo. Didn't have any of the nonsense like, you know, the dripping or the acid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Op cord shorts.

[Brett]

Yeah, I had that on, too. More than likely. I don't remember my short, short selection that day, but I probably quarter up. But bottom line was I was banned from the Sears that day. And Even at age 12, I got.

[John Holmberg]

A kid in the tank top messing with the elevators.

[Brett]

The little girl in a tank top and is. Yeah, great big abductor. I think they were trying to rape him in the elevator. Anyway, the big one got away. Let him go. Ban him for life. That's what I was gonna do. You're bad for life. All right. See, in five minutes. And we were 12 and we figured out a way around it. So to Mr. McCaskill or whatever your name is, 23rd.

[John Holmberg]

You're okay.

[Brett]

You're okay. We're gonna put you. We're gonna put you where you can do no harm. You know what's gonna be fun? I'll call Studley up there at the ball and we'll have McCaskill in the booth with. I'll give him a tour. No one will know. Not a soul will be like, aren't you the guy banned. Ah, stop the game. Turn this stadium around.

[John Holmberg]

Give him the pole with the fishing net over there so he can catch balls.

[Byron]

The Hairy carry fishing net.

[Brett]

That's a great idea. It gives him what he loves, interrupting things with stuff he shouldn't have, and also keeps him away from the field of play. It's great. This guy says, I had a former colleague who was at a play at Madison Square Garden. She worked for a company who was in litigation with Matt. Madison Square Garden. Their facial recognition found her in the audience and kicked her out. I don't think that's accurate. I'm pretty sure she made a stink or told the wrong person and got kicked out. The only one I'd be worried about is the Intuit Dome in Los Angeles, the Clippers place. Because you pay with facial recognition there when you.

[John Holmberg]

You in the little kiosks.

[Brett]

And no kiosks, everything. There's no checkout. So you go into the thing, and then if you want, you put your card in a machine and then do a facial recognition. And then you go into, like, the food place, and it's all like a convenience store. And you open one of the doors, take out a Pepsi, whatever, and then you turn and you just look at this thing, and it charges you.

[Byron]

They don't got that at Chase. They can barely get the roof open.

[Brett]

For God's sake, let alone.

[Byron]

I mean, come on.

[Brett]

That's part of their billion dollar enhancement program. Jesus Christ. Brett's right this way.

[John Holmberg]

Just wait.

[Brett]

Brett's 100% right. So Jesus Fries has people with downs as their greeters and cart chasing. Imagine if they stopped at the door. I would listen to them. They're strong. I don't want to do that.

[John Holmberg]

They're not getting away.

[Brett]

Also, and this is. This guy's right, too, is that maybe John and Dave can be on the Kiss Cam together. I'd like that. To kiss the band guy. This one says, John Dave McCaskill should have taken your advice and had a dildo in his other hand while he caught the. Those balls. Sure, that's the same. Oh, man. You can't ban him holding the dick. What's the matter with you, putting that on the picture? That's your fault. It says at the Cardinals game, if you get kicked out, they make you take a fan code of conduct class before they let you in to renew your season tickets. They have your wife buy them, put them in a P.O. box. This is. This is so easy to get around, Said Holmberg. The man who started Red Flex, sold that company and started America American Traffic Systems, which is the new company the city's trying to use. Same guy. He sold Red Flags because they realized it was a scam. They just changed the name. This one says, my wife has a co worker whose sister works at State Farm Stadium, and she says that their facial recognition cameras are incredibly accurate. All right, then why do we still have crime? When in the world do we still have crime? Just facially scan everybody in the audience, check for warrants, and then start scooting people out of there. I don't believe that they would. I don't. Maybe they do. But somebody would have to know you. And then the facial recognition thing would get turned on. Just you. But if they're just scanning the crowd willy nilly.

[John Holmberg]

It happens every game. They scan the crowd and the entire crowd.

[Brett]

Then there's rapists and murderers and people wanted for things. Why aren't they just arresting folks like crazy?

[John Holmberg]

A ton of people?

[Byron]

That's the west side you imagine.

[Brett]

You're right.

[Byron]

I mean, come on.

[John Holmberg]

At least 200 arrests.

[Brett]

I think they have facial recognition software, but they have to implement it on you. You know, no alarms are going off. If Brady walks in. He's got like 20 tickets he hasn't paid for, all right? That guy can't watch a Cardinals game today. They want people in the seats.

[John Holmberg]

Send them an ad at the snack area.

[Brett]

He hasn't bought anything. His facial recognition said Brady was gonna buy at least four Dippin Dots cups today. Maybe they have it. But if they do and it's that accurate, we could end crime. Why wouldn't we do that? Everybody gets facially recognized, and then they just scoop out the bad guys. I'm not so sure I believe that. And we'll find out if the Diamondbacks have incredible Mission Impossible technology in the stadium. When I take Dave McCaskill out for a drink and a tour and maybe some time in the booth to meet the guys broadcasting. And only thing is, when I introduce you to Bob Renlee and Steve Berthune, you have to say, hey, Dave McCaskill banned for life. And see what they do about it, because they're not even gonna care. Stop with these fake, like, proclamation, silly. Ban me from a ballparking. Challenging me. I'm getting back in there. I'll grow a mustache. You won't know. I'll draw on wacky eyebrows or I'll wear Mr. Orange's thing. If Mr. Orange went back to his son's game, no one would know the dude was in disguise the whole time. I don't think he's getting out of jail anytime soon for that old kiddie porn thing, but still. Band Bert, what do you got on the big board of Musical Tree? All right.

[Byron]

Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. It's a little hot out there right now, but everybody's heading up north and over to New Mexico for bike parks. And, well, Action Ride Shop's got everything you need for your bike park season, including all the pads, full face helmets, and of course, getting that bike tuned up before you take off. Action ride shop. Two locations. The brand new one right there on McDowell and Power, and of course, the OG on Gilbert Road. The southernactionride shop.com is where you need to go.

[Brett]

By the way, Scott Haynes makes a great point going back to the Orlando Bloom Katy Perry thing. Says Orlando Bloom was invited to the Bezos Sanchez wedding in Italy. Katy Perry wasn't. And she was on the rocket with Lauren Sanchez.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting.

[Brett]

Now, maybe the invite came before anybody knew they were going to split up. But wouldn't that have been your.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta believe that they were.

[Brett]

They were. They were together. Only one went. Wouldn't your space.

[John Holmberg]

Fellow astronaut.

[Brett]

Yeah, your fellow astronaut. Wouldn't they like. No, Orlando, you can't go. That's Katie's invite.

[Byron]

Now, did Gail and all the rest of them go that were in that rocket?

[Brett]

Gail and Oprah were there.

[Byron]

Okay.

[Brett]

Without Steadman?

[Byron]

He was busy, you know.

[Brett]

Well, his wife's a lesbian. No one likes to say that, but that's gotta be the. You don't go that. It's like if Brady and I were seen everywhere. It's like, oh, yeah, they're married, but they're always together. Like going to weddings together. Just us. That's gay. We're automatically gay. Maybe we're not acting on it, but we're gay. Brady and I are gonna go to the Bezos. Start going to weddings. Yeah, try telling Ronnie that. John and I are gonna hit that Bezos Sanchez wedding. Well, I'd like to go. No, he's my date. You're Gavin.

[Byron]

Did Orlando get the Orlando and guest invite then or what?

[Brett]

Plus one. Yeah, but Katie didn't.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

And the first got there singing.

[Byron]

That got her banned.

[Brett]

Yeah, then he started boning everybody.

[John Holmberg]

She let out in the. With her hairdresser.

[Brett]

Sanchez's hairdresser. Oh, oh, Katy Perry. Oh, boy, I wonder what she looks like pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

They. They had a picture of them trolling the streets of Venice.

[Brett]

I never understood the Katy Perry thing. All I see is Elijah Wood. They're the same face.

[John Holmberg]

I think he got wind of that.

[Brett]

He thinks John's right. Yeah.

[Byron]

You think maybe that's a dude now one.

[Brett]

Well, that's Katy Perry.

[Byron]

Yeah, I know, but I. Hairdresser. I don't know her name.

[John Holmberg]

Just say Orlando Bloom and hairdresser.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'd like to see that. But yeah, that's an interesting take there because she was in space with one of the people getting married and. And invited by the other guy getting married. So the two people getting married ask Katy Perry, not Orlando Bloom. She's all right.

[Byron]

I don't know if that's her.

[Brett]

I mean, he's just hogging everything right now because he. Good for him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that was her.

[Brett]

He's. He's free of Astronaut Jones so he can do whatever he wants. So that's how horrible. She had to be Katy Perry invited to go to Space by Jeff Bezos and said, my wife will go too. Oh, that's great. And then they get married and Katie can't go, but her husband can.

[John Holmberg]

No one's. And none of them have really said any of the tabloids.

[Brett]

Yeah. Unless it was an agreement between Orlando and Katie. But you think Katie would have precedent there, having had been out of the atmosphere with one of the two people getting married. I think once you share.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe that was the fallout that initially Orlando was invited with the girls on the Blue Origins. And it was like, I don't gotta send Katie.

[Brett]

Try to hose them all. Yeah, because you had to have Lady Weekend. I remember Katie didn't even look out the window. She just sang to the camera and picked Daisy. Idiot. This one. I thought she couldn't be more pretentious and annoying. I'm an Orlando Bloom fan. I would love to sit down and talk to her. What were you thinking when that ship made it back? Were you happy deep down? Were you like, oh, did it make it? What do you got up there?

[Byron]

A bunch of stuff going on. Detachable penis for the crank on Brady's car. Citizen Dick. Don't touch me. I'm Dick for the photo radar. And the big thing this weekend was the Black Sabbath.

[Brett]

Ozzy farewell and leave it to another broad to ruin that. Ozzy's final show, 60 Years in Rock. What's the headline? Kelly Osborne gets engaged. She got married and they're like. She stole the headline from her dad's career by being you Know, have your moment some other time. Selfish broad. Exactly. And the dude from Slipknot should have known better. Yeah, you don't do that at Ozzy's last show. That just remains Ozzy. That's his thing. That's Ozzy's day. Maybe you did it the day after. But you keep it quiet. You don't tell the press. So they start asking Kelly Osborne questions. He hasn't accomplished anything.

[Byron]

So we got Hole in the sky from Sabbath. The song Black Sabbath. Our first song. Mr. Tinkertrain. Miracle Man. Cool thing was Lamb of God broke out a cover of Children of the Grave there, and they released it. Oh, so they played on the bill, too. So it's kind of.

[Brett]

This is live. No, this is. All right, let's do that.

[Byron]

Let me pull it up here.

[Brett]

Little tribute to Ozzy on his way out there.

[John Holmberg]

And happy birthday. Sinister Gates.

[Brett]

Is it Sinister Gates from Avenged. Sevenfold today. Stupid name, but great band. Very Emerio. Tried to get married. I think I got married this weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Congratulations.

[Brett]

I read the headlines. I'm. I'm not sure what just happened, but my big day. All I saw was that Kelly Osbourne got the headlines.

[John Holmberg]

When is your final show?

[Brett]

I think it. I think we have another one coming up. We're gonna start a tour. We're gonna tour. This last show went so well, Brady. We're gonna tour.

[John Holmberg]

It sounds good.

[Brett]

The final show. Forever as it's gonna. Never ending, perpetual show. Thanks, Kelly. I got married, dad. When did you do that, love? During your final performance. So I could have some headlines. You so much like your mother, you want all the. Did you see any of the footage of Ozzy? Yeah, it was. I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

The vocals were strong.

[Byron]

You can see how much he wanted to get up out of that chair, though. Yeah, it was.

[Brett]

It was. That's not easy to watch. No, I watched a few minutes of it. I'm like, all right, I get it. I wouldn't have been happy at that.

[Byron]

The thing that. I mean, Sabbath only did five songs. I mean, it's their big farewell and they only did five songs.

[Brett]

Well, they're all a hundred.

[Byron]

I know, but still.

[Brett]

I don't want to watch hundred year old men doing stuff. Stones are still doing it. I don't know how that's. There's something special going on there. And I still don't really want to watch them do that. No. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I haven't heard enough of this morning sickness. You've Been deceived by an agent of satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Rude? It's the biscuit right there. The limp bizkit. It's rolling right along and we're doing the same. First day back after the big week. Hopefully you guys are all feeling okay about going to work again. Somebody broke the radio station, though.

[Byron]

We gotta get mike down here.

[Brett]

Yeah. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster playing that's doing it all on its own.

[Byron]

I'll text him.

[Brett]

That's weird. I can use the other. Use the auxiliary. It is time now for brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the brady report and it's brought to you by our friends. Man, are they our friends now at all? Pro shade con. I was searching for shade. I did the dummy. It's an annual event for me. I can make it out there without shoes. I'll be all right. Two steps. Torch. I couldn't make it to the pool.

[Byron]

It's horrible.

[Brett]

I do it every year, and every year I tell myself, you know, this is a bad idea. And I ran out there thinking that I just. All I had to do is just go out to one spot and come back. And within two steps, my feet were on fire. And I'd already committed to. I did it, but my toes were blistered. It was terrible. What I needed was shade. Brady and all pro shade helps you with that. They'll get you shade in the backyard. The best friend of everybody in Phoenix is shade in the summertime. And these are the best people in the world to give it to you. 20 years of shade means two decades of quality custom installed patio shades, awnings and sunscreen. And all you guys have to do is head over to allprochade.com and check out everything they've got for you to make your life shady. Brady reported.

[John Holmberg]

Good Monday morning to you, phoenix. Hello, world.

[Brett]

Hi.

[John Holmberg]

Happy national day of rock and roll.

[Brett]

All right. Yeah, it said like some sort of Russian immigrant. Happy national day of the rock and the roll. It will kick ass.

[John Holmberg]

Couple of baseless fun facts. Slimer and ghostbusters was originally going to be called onion head. And the early ideas for the title included ghost stoppers, ghost smashers, ghost breakers.

[Brett]

There's a flip of the coin. End up with ghostbusters. Yep, all would have worked. No one would have cared.

[John Holmberg]

Almost half of the U. S. Presidents in the past 80 years have been left handed.

[Brett]

Wait, am I say it again.

[John Holmberg]

Almost half of the US presidents in the past 80 years have been left handed. Harry Truman, Gerald Ford.

[Brett]

Obama was a Southie.

[John Holmberg]

George H.W. bush, Bill Clinton, Barack, Ronald Reagan.

[Brett]

Reagan was a southpaw. I didn't know that. I know Obama was because he wrote like one of those you lefties. Right. Sometimes like you're right handed. The hook that weird like you should just put it in the other hand, you're doing it wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Some of the early top casting choices for the movie Speed. Stephen Baldwin and Ellen DeGeneres.

[Brett]

Yuck.

[John Holmberg]

Would have been a different movie.

[Brett]

Well, we didn't know for sure she was gay then. She, she was Ellen the comedian. You didn't know? Nobody knew.

[John Holmberg]

No. And I think but just even I guess that does it changes everything changes a little bit.

[Brett]

Because if you knew she was. If it was Ellen today could have.

[John Holmberg]

Had some good chemistry.

[Brett]

Maybe I don't, I don't care to know that Stephen Baldwin's face freaks me out. So that's just a bad look. I don't like looking looking at them.

[John Holmberg]

Waffle House owns its own record label called Waffle Records and its songs are mostly played in their restaurants.

[Brett]

I didn't know that any of it. I didn't and won't ever know what songs are played in a Waffle House. Something bad has happened to me. If I'm in a Waffle House I'm like I'm here for the music.

[John Holmberg]

Here are a couple of things that happened 10 years ago on this Week 2015. Jared from Subway was busted.

[Brett]

That's where 10 year anniversary of Jared.

[John Holmberg]

His home in Indiana.

[Brett]

Remember watching that on TV that morning?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Because it was all. It was in Indianapolis, right? Or near there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was in Indiana.

[Brett]

Yeah. And he and that big giant house he had and they had those forensic trucks outside and helicopters and computer after computer being toted out of Jared's house and his wife was on. In the. On the porch. Oh, that was a great day.

[John Holmberg]

He will be eligible for parole parole in 2029.

[Brett]

He's coming back.

[John Holmberg]

Two NFL players lost fingers playing with fireworks.

[Brett]

Jason Pier Paul.

[John Holmberg]

C.J. wilson also lost. Lost two fingers in the mishap. C.J. retired. Jason made the Pro Pro bowl in 2020.

[Brett]

Yeah. CPP just quit a couple years ago. If at all maybe one year.

[John Holmberg]

Your odds of winning the Powerball Powerball got worse. They added 10 more balls 10 years ago.

[Brett]

Oh that was the 2015 edition.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Gave your. Your odds were 1,292 million.

[Brett]

Don't pay attention to that. There's still a one in front of it.

[John Holmberg]

The woman's world cup final was the most watched soccer match in US History.

[Brett]

Hey, I want to thank Mexico. And I don't do this too often because it's a dump, but thanks for beating the United States of America in soccer and putting this whole thing to bed. I got tired of trying to watch sports shows on my vacation and then break in with Alexi Lawless now and again to bark about a team no one knows anything about. And, and evidently a bunch of the players for the U. S. Men's national team, like, they were just like last minute fill ins. And so they beat like Portugal and Trinidad Tobago and some other nonsense place.

[John Holmberg]

Portugal's a good team.

[Brett]

Okay, I don't know if it was Portugal. I'm just throwing countries. I know that. And by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I do.

[Brett]

Sure he does. And, and by the way, Brady, go yourself. Who cares? I'm just saying, I wasn't in a debate about soccer at all. I'm just throwing out countries nobody cares about if they win or lose. And they said, oh, America's gonna do this, America's gonna do that. And then Mexico went and just trounced them. The only thing I wished that would happen was that Trump would have gone in and deported. The Mexican team right afterwards. Would have an great win, you guys. Great win. Now everybody line up. You're going to alligator Alcatraz, which is an awesome thing that happened last week.

[Dick Toledo]

Just see how they're building it already.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, they've. It's built, it's done. Toledo. I toured it. It was an amazing thing. Alligator Alcatraz. That's right.

[Dick Toledo]

Avoid the alligators.

[Brett]

Well, there's a bridge, but not for them. Try to escape the tent and get eaten by alligators. That's how it works in Florida.

[Byron]

They can't finish the 10 off, but.

[Brett]

But they got.

[Byron]

They got a whole prison built in like 10 minutes.

[Brett]

It was 10 days. Yeah, they built a prison, houses, 5,000 people. Alligator Alcatraz. And they did it with alligators, Brady. And that's the future. The future is the past. Like kings used to have moats filled with gators. We're doing that again. It worked.

[John Holmberg]

The hot new dating trend for women is to show up for first dates without doing their hair and makeup. Like, here's the real me. Take it or leave it.

[Brett]

Leave it.

[Byron]

Yeah, well, save me some money that night.

[Brett]

Who's that? There's the, that black guy that does a podcast that's just, just mean. As sin to women. And he tells them why they're single. And they keep calling him.

[Byron]

What is that?

[Brett]

It's hilarious. I think his last name's Clark, but he's the most abrupt and correct person ever. Women will call and say, how come I don't have a man? And the. And one lady said, she calls up and he's looking at her on the zoom and he goes, rate yourself between 1 and 10, but you can't use 7. And rate yourself without hair extensions and eyelashes and all that. Just you who you are. And she goes, eight. Nope. And he hangs up. And then a lady called and she goes, I'm an engineer. I have a college degree. I did this. And he goes, how tall are you? And she goes, 5. 4. And he goes, what's. What's your dress size? And she goes, 16. He goes, you ain't choosing to be single.

[Byron]

What? Find this. I gotta listen to this.

[Brett]

I was dying. Tell us what that is. Yeah, and somebody will remember it because I was. I was pissing myself. Somebody sent it to me on Instagram. This dude. Knocks him down like bowling pins. These. You know, I have a job and I don't want a man. I don't need a man. I've chosen this. What exactly is your weight? 168. You are not choosing anything. It's happening to you. It's fantastic. And the one lady goes. He goes, Rachel sub, 1 out of 10. Did the thing again. And she goes, I don't know. An 8? He goes, 8 out of what? 100. Oh, he's brilliant.

[John Holmberg]

A new survey found that a third of Americans have named their car Whitey and Darky.

[Brett]

That's what I call them. The word dark isn't bad.

[John Holmberg]

I do have wine under the name Black tyranny. Nice.

[Brett]

That's very regal. Lib cucks. Can't even hear a word. How was your cruise, by the way? Toledo? It was good. You did the poor person stutter there?

[John Holmberg]

It's the.

[Brett]

You.

[Dick Toledo]

You find out why it's called the booze cruise. Yeah, there's a lot of alcoholics. There was a lot of jelly rolls on this.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

On this cruise.

[Brett]

It's a cruise. Cruise.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know.

[Brett]

I've never been on cruise. I've never been on one. Jelly rolls love cruise. Yeah. Because hotels moves them from place to place. They don't have to do any assisted.

[Dick Toledo]

Walkers that were on this cruise.

[Brett]

Holmberg's morning sickness. And you just did the Ensenada.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. It's like it was a three night one out of la, left Tuesday night. Wednesday morning we're in Ensenada. Spent about five hours in Ensenada.

[Brett]

Meh.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't need it. Don't need any more of it.

[Brett]

That's when my mom. That's the one. That very cruise has been going on for years. That's one my mom tried to win every day on KOB Radio Albuquerque. The big trip to Ensenada coming up here on Thursday, 8:15. My mom would sit by the. I was late for school a couple of times. Just calling it.

[Dick Toledo]

Boat is massive though.

[Brett]

It was.

[Dick Toledo]

I've never been on one that big. It's 16 decks and it's ridiculous. Casino and like three theaters and you.

[Brett]

Just kind of cruise along the Mexican shore and then come back.

[Dick Toledo]

After we left Ensenada, we went south and did a loop and went back up to la.

[Brett]

Just cuz why not?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, cruising.

[Brett]

That's right. Marcy was so into that idea. I'm gonna win that trip.

[Dick Toledo]

Did she ever go on the cruise?

[Brett]

She qualified like four times times.

[Dick Toledo]

Like even on her own, she never went on it.

[Brett]

That looks like the dude. I think that's him. Kevin. Everybody saying Kevin Samuels. He's great. Yeah. My mom would sit there and kob the morning Zoo on KOB 8 15. We're going to give away another shot at that trip to Ensenada. Smoke. She'd run over the phone. Hold on. Dial in. And then.

[Dick Toledo]

Doesn't seem like a cru.

[Brett]

He ain't going with her. He wasn't going to get on that boat. What are we doing? No, my sister. My mom would have gone or I'd have gotten drug along. Right. But then they changed it to where you had to do an envelope. You had to mail in. And then they drew a name out of a postcard. Just put a postcard self address. And then you'd put the postcard in. They pull. They pulled her out a couple of times. Then you had like eight minutes to call and she called up and got on the list. And then they would put you in like the monthly drawing or something. Like they acted like they were given a cruise every day, but I think they gave like two away all year. My mom was losing her mind. That's right. KO Me. Rupert Holmes there with the Pina Colada song. Hey, who wants to go for a cruise?

[Dick Toledo]

We got to Ensenada and we parked next to a carnival.

[Brett]

The big boats, the real ones compared to ours, which. Oh, you were Royal Caribbean. Yeah. Boats are great.

[Dick Toledo]

Ovation of the Seas. It's the biggest Boat that sails out of la.

[Brett]

Did you take the kids? God, no. Oh, God. But they were everywhere.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, they were everywhere.

[Brett]

Any hellcats on the deck? That was on the carnival. Oh, that's a carnival.

[Dick Toledo]

He's right.

[Brett]

He's on the carnival. People leaving their car in that parking lot. No. Put it on the boat. No.

[John Holmberg]

This dude in Florida got caught speeding last week and the timing couldn't have been worse. It was right after the new super speeder law went into effect.

[Brett]

What's that?

[John Holmberg]

Florida just added a law that hands a tougher penalty if you're caught driving over 100 miles per hour. Well, yeah. You now can get up to a month in jail for it.

[Dick Toledo]

We have that, don't we? Extreme speeding or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

There's extreme speeding. I don't think we have the super speed.

[Brett]

If you're going over a hundred, you should probably sit out.

[John Holmberg]

The law went into effect at 1201am last Tuesday and the guy got caught driving 100, 104 in a 70 mile an hour zone two minutes later.

[Brett]

That's excessive.

[John Holmberg]

Officials confirmed it was the first person to get ticketed. Under the new law, first time offenders can get 30 days in jail or 500 fine or both.

[Dick Toledo]

You think that accident you saw, that kid was doing 100 when he went by you?

[Brett]

At least the one where his head. The kid's head fell off. That was. That's. We're coming up on the 10th year anniversary of that, that 2016.

[Dick Toledo]

I think I just remember that morning.

[Brett]

You might have been 15.

[Dick Toledo]

You were shaking that.

[Brett]

I'm still thinking about that. Saw that kid's head fall off. It was weird. And it wasn't. He was holding someone else's head. The driver. When I. What do you mean? The car. Oh, the. You.

[Dick Toledo]

The girl in the back seat.

[Brett]

Girl in the back seat's head fell off into his lap. Oh, and I thought it was his head because he's holding it. And then his head lifted up and I'm like, there's two heads. Heads.

[Byron]

Oh, I've been playing hot potato. I'm throwing that back in the back seat.

[Brett]

I'm out if it lands on you. Yeah, I'm not kidding, Brett. It was rain and blood in that car. It was this. It's still, to this day, the most unreal, surreal thing ever. It was, it was. It's. It's not human. What I looked at. It wasn't. And evidently she slid through the door and the driver's seat. The gap between the driver's seat and the driver's door. Her body jammed in there and her head broke down. Oh. Oh, thanks for bringing that up, Rich. Welcome to welcome Back. Jesus. He was going over 100 miles now. At least.

[Byron]

Can we see it on OP Live this weekend? Those 100 mile an hour things?

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. We send them right to Alligator Alcatraz. Ready? That's what we do. Toledo. Keeps it up, he's gonna end up in there.

[John Holmberg]

I guess. Yesterday the Chinese newspaper reported that a man checked into the hospital with abdominal pain.

[Brett]

Clamps.

[John Holmberg]

He had pale face. Sweating profusely. Complaining of the smoke.

[Brett]

Come on. That was for you.

[John Holmberg]

A CT scan of the man's abdomen.

[Byron]

I was trying to keep it quiet.

[John Holmberg]

Showed a foreign object that seemed to have pierced. Pierced his stomach and ended up in his abdominal cavity. The man's abdomen was already as hard as a board. They said in. In fearing a potential fatal.

[Brett]

Land the plane, Brady. What was in his ass?

[John Holmberg]

An eel.

[Brett]

Oh, God. I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

I would have not Ate his way through his stomach. I would not have done that either.

[Brett]

I wouldn't have gone to that route.

[John Holmberg]

They were shocked to discover the live eel still alive, swimming in his organs.

[Brett]

Intentionally put there or just happenstance laying on the beach.

[Byron]

I've seen the video.

[Brett]

I know. I just wanted. I just wanted to hear you say it. We stuffed it in there himself.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. Pulled out. It was eating good.

[Brett]

Well, we don't know what. How big was it before?

[John Holmberg]

I'm just telling you, that's a bloated eel.

[Brett]

You think that thing's a little thick?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Well, when it comes to bloating, I'm gonna go with you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I know, I know.

[Brett]

You know a good bloat. Damn.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if you saw the statue, the new statue they put up in Manhattan.

[Brett]

The giant penis.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's supposed to be a foot fountain.

[Brett]

I thought it was supposed to be 10 foot tall.

[John Holmberg]

Installation thumb. Yeah. It was a pink leg cut off at the knee, brimming with tongues.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And ending in a giant foot with red toenails.

[Brett]

I saw it. Honestly. That it was a real. Like it was a penis. I didn't know that this was. People are saying, I. I mean, look. But then you take my thumb away and it's a foot. Yep.

[Byron]

You can get away with a ticket with that.

[Brett]

There you go. You drive around one of these. These. Good luck, Governor Hobbs. Taking pictures of me doing that. Yeah, that's a. When they showed it on the news, I didn't pay attention to the thing that said that the people in New York were a little upset at this thing just sitting in the middle and. Why? Where is it? It's just the middle of a sidewalk. It's not even like a normal place. It just plopped it down anywhere.

[John Holmberg]

I have three quick radio videos.

[Brett]

Sorry, I've been busy.

[John Holmberg]

Stretch people.

[Brett]

By the way, love Kevin Samuels. I'm new to the Kevin Sa. He's a professional woman roaster.

[John Holmberg]

I think I saw a couple of his things on Instagram and he'll pop up. Yeah, that's.

[Brett]

Somebody sent me an Instagram and he's like, this guy's awesome. And I'm like, this.

[Byron]

You didn't send it to me, man.

[Brett]

You know, I was busy that day. Jesus Christ. You got enough to go through? I. I send you plenty. We share quite a bit, but, yeah, that's. It was. This dude is.

[Byron]

I got a couple of videos ready to go.

[Brett]

We'll watch for him. Okay. He's remarkably quick to these ladies. And they, to their credit, take the punch like. It's almost like he's some sort of Svengali over there. The A they call him. Made me at first think, okay, this dude is staging all this. There's no way a woman would. Would call you.

[Byron]

I mean, the title of this one is delusional Woman realizes she's a six and is not Getting into vip.

[Brett]

All right, play it. I don't. I didn't watch any of it yet. Oh, just didn't. All right. Never. All right, we'll get to it. Maybe later. I want to hear it. Yeah, he's. He's so fast. I. I loved it. All right, go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

First one little national anthem. Maybe you saw this over the weekend?

[Brett]

Yeah. She passes out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

In the middle of the National Anthem. Where was. Was this? Oh, you got to plug it in there, Rich. Hang on. Yeah. Where. Where are we? Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

That's the Constellation Field.

[Brett]

Is that your computer? What are you doing?

[Byron]

Is unplugged in.

[Brett]

Oh, for Christ's sake.

[Byron]

You got Toledoed, Brady.

[Brett]

Toledo twice and third time. Jesus Christ. And he's looping it just to rub it in.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

All right, here now. Anything, Rich? No. There we go. She almost made it to the end.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I like the photographer down there. She's gonna capture the moment.

[Brett]

What games? Constellation Field. So it's the Space City Cowboys down there in Texas. I got their shirt. I don't like to make comments about the national anthem. That cost you money.

[John Holmberg]

Next one. Some festival going on.

[Brett]

What are they doing? They're spinning on top of a Tree. There's a bunch of.

[John Holmberg]

Never seen anything like it, but they didn't stabilize it too well.

[Brett]

Oh, there's like, this dead tree that there's a bunch of dudes, hillbillies doing. It's the worst carnival ride ever. It's a tree with ropes around the top, and they're spinning. Oh, there's just carnage everywhere now. The aftermath is just bodies laying everywhere.

[John Holmberg]

There's no one home there.

[Brett]

Well, the shaman can't be there for a little while. He's busy bleeding chickens. Yeah. What awful third world part of Mexico or something like that. Where are we? Veracruz. Wherever that is. Veracruz. I think that is Mexico.

[John Holmberg]

Last one you wanted some fireworks fall.

[Brett]

Out, by the way. The good news about that is, is they're in such a crappy place that when the tree tipped over and almost killed all those people, they didn't hit a very good. Nothing was built structurally sound. So the house they hit fell down. They just hit on dirt. Yeah. So if it was in America and that happened, you'd hit a structure, and probably the structure would kill you. But at least the house gave way to the weight of a human body.

[Byron]

Broke your fall.

[Brett]

Yeah. It can only take about £148 before it's dust. Little pig gigs. All right, go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

This guy decides he'll take on the Roman candles in bottle rockets with a shield.

[Brett]

A tiny shield to his face. Oh, people are just shooting fireworks at a guy. Oh. And he's got, like, a. Like a trash can lid, and now they're just firing hundreds of them. Well, this isn't fair. Like, one of the throat here. Oh, here's the thing. I think he agreed to, like. Oh, he won. They're shooting at him like it's Star Wars.

[Byron]

There's Comic Con.

[Brett]

I would go same. I mean, if this was the Ren Fair idea. Yeah. You know what? By the way, success. Dude did well.

[John Holmberg]

He did. He took a couple.

[Brett]

Oh, sure. No, he lost a couple of battles, but his friends are dicks, because I'm pretty sure there's multiple guys firing at him.

[Byron]

Oh, has Captain America. Shield isn't doing all.

[Brett]

No, he's blocking a few, though. That one got him. Don't drop it from your face. Captain America. That's Captain Rhode island, that kid is. They're having the time of their lives. That's all that matters, really, when you're trying to kill your friends. That was fun. All right, Brett, shall we? Here we go. Been a minute.

[Byron]

And the boy's been saving up a.

[Brett]

Few, by the way. Kevin Samuel they say he has a YouTube channel that you watch his entire podcast. I don't know if I could sit through the whole thing. I think I like the one punching out.

[Byron]

Yeah, but.

[Brett]

But unless he's.

[John Holmberg]

He probably gets into it.

[Brett]

This one.

[Byron]

This one's for Brady.

[Brett]

It's a beautiful blonde lady with a huge tube. Yeah. Looks like a vuvuzela. Remember the host from the World Cup? It is a vu vuzela. She's blowing it with her butt. And the things they can do in Brazil. Wow. Those awful toys that they do at soccer games. She's got one in her ass. Oh, don't act like you like it. Stop it. All right, next one.

[Byron]

This one's kind of hard to see.

[Brett]

Here. We're at a factory. Oh, my God. Some sort of weird.

[Byron]

Some kind of rolling machine.

[Brett]

Rolling machine sucks a guy in. The second his hand touches the rollers, he goes in there and just eats him a lot. Broke his neck. It had to. Right away, his head went backwards first so much.

[Byron]

And this was just backing away like.

[Brett]

The other guy's like. I actually think, go home. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

That ruined that car.

[Dick Toledo]

Like your boys at the Ford Museum with you.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, they threw you in. Laugh, Rick.

[Byron]

All right, here's some more OSHA videos for osha.

[Brett]

We're in a wood chipper. We got a lot of branches. We're going. Oh, guys, stop it. In the wood chipper. Oh, God. Oh. Grabbed his one leg. It's bent his other leg backwards. Don't stop it. Keep it going. There's no reason to pull him out. There's no reason to pull him out. Finish him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that yelling and screaming, you still aren't coming back normal. You've got curtains for a leg now. Oh, my God. Why? Why won't anyone learn not to stomp on top of the wood chipper? Here you go, Grinder. Don't steal. Oh, they just let the dude figures it out. Take a look at the guy with this. With the saw. Look at his shirt. Yeah, look at the. It's just a beautiful little kitty.

[John Holmberg]

It might be a uniform.

[Brett]

The dude's got a cat with like. So we'll wait till he turns it. Turn it on. Let's watch him. I saw this guy. It's just a. It's like a strange Picasso cat. Yeah. Very colorful, festive shirt for the job of guy who chops off your fingers. And the other dude seemed like he was okay with it. He volunteered it. Like, he didn't. It was almost. He treated it like he was at the barbershop. Cause his. His index finger was dangling, and he put it back up like, you missed a spot.

[Byron]

This one's entitled. Guy must have drank some water from one of those Toledo countries.

[Brett]

Toledo country. Oh. Oh, my God. That's a lot of diarrh. Raining poop. He's in a hospital bed and there must be six pounds of poop coming out of him.

[Byron]

Here's some hillbillies from, like, Indiana.

[Brett]

All right, all right. Oh, God. It's a lady sitting in the driver's seat of a truck peeing out the driver's door. Oh, she is onto the head of some hillbilly laying next to the car. This is definitely Midwest. Oh, yeah. And she's soaking him. He's not moving.

[Byron]

He's just taking it.

[Brett]

Man. And you know what's worse? Somebody had to film this and then go, what song do you want to use?

[John Holmberg]

I got it.

[Brett]

I got. I got a good one. It's jazzy. All right. I have not missed this. All right, there's a guy's got penis and balls and a clamp, and he's had a. Having urethra sex. Giant drill bit, some sort.

[Byron]

I love the music, though.

[Brett]

Yeah, listen to it.

[Byron]

Oh, he's going back for more, too.

[Brett]

That's a foot long.

[John Holmberg]

It's like the screw, whatever that instrument.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

What are those called? Yeah, I know. We'll just end with that.

[John Holmberg]

This.

[Brett]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[Byron]

This one's entitled Crushing.

[Brett]

He's got his testicles all bound up and they're swollen up to the size of, like, oranges. Now he's putting them in some glass case, and he's got clamps on the glass case. He's in a hurry, too. I would be, too, if my balls were that swollen. He's got them all clamped up, tied up. Oh, I see. Yeah, he's stuffing them in there. No, please, no.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

And Steve Carell is involved somehow. He's clamping it. Oh, he's going to smash him. He's going to smash him in the. That's it. Is it done? Oh, thank God. We didn't see that ending. So it's basically a two glass or two plex glass sandwiched together.

[Byron]

And you just tighten it and you.

[Brett]

Tighten it down to squish your balls.

[Byron]

It's like a vice.

[Brett]

You pancake them. Why?

[Byron]

They walk amongst us.

[Brett]

Why? Yeah, they're out there right now. There might be a guy in this building.

[Byron]

Who do you think?

[Brett]

Mike.

[John Holmberg]

Mike.

[Byron]

No, he's got to fix our stuff. No.

[Brett]

Yeah, I Think Mike does that to his balls. Mike, I was in a conversation this week. I watched the Turning Point about the Cold War, which is a fascinating nine part documentary. It's outstanding. And basically, huh. It's on Netflix. I think everything that happened started with Hitler. Hitler was the reason why. Why the nukes, why the fights, why Russia? Why us?

[John Holmberg]

All this stuff, all the positioning.

[Brett]

And then you start looking at, like, all the things that have been hidden and covered and who knew what and what government did this and that. And it dawned on me how stupid I've been that the things we don't know. And I don't know why I'm thinking, like, Mike's balls and stuff. I was just. I can't tell you. And I've worked in this.

[Byron]

You got to get the light.

[Brett]

Well, I've worked for this company for 25 years. Years. Right. This particular ownership group for 11 and a half. I feel pretty confident that I know the inner workings, but I don't know anything that's going on here. Deep down, I couldn't tell you everything that's gone on here, like in private meetings or something like that. Now imagine us as citizens trying to figure out what the government's up to.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

You can't even figure out your own workplace.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

There's no. And just for whatever reason this weekend, I'm like, I don't know what kind of game Tripp is playing with this or that. I don't know what he's doing there. I can assume it.

[Dick Toledo]

What his goals are.

[Brett]

You mean and that's what. Something I've got tons of knowledge about. We sit and try to figure out what the government's saying, what they're doing, what's real, what's AI, what's.

[John Holmberg]

And the layers on that and knowing above that.

[Brett]

And it really made me realize I'm a nihilist. Nothing matters. None of this is like, I can sit, like, hearing those people bitch about tips and taxes. And, you know, we have no say, really, when it comes to, like, me and Toledo having a conversation. Why do we waste so much time yelling at each other about politics? If you're gonna do something, do something. Don't yell at your friends. It was like this eye opening thing. And I don't know why Mike's balls made me think of that, because all I thought was, maybe Mike does smash this ball. I don't know everything that goes on here, but we all play pretend that we know everything that's going on and the mechanisms of government. We have no clue.

[John Holmberg]

I Mean, that documentary is probably similar to. They all seem to have that same trend, same thing on the. The Osama bin Laden.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's the turning point, year, period. But that's all hindsight, too. This is a history lesson. I didn't see that one. But, I mean, a lot of the stuff about bin Laden, like, we could have done this. We could have done that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you didn't realize how many people, how many was involved.

[Brett]

Everybody.

[John Holmberg]

And what was going on.

[Brett]

And you got it. Yeah. Watch the phrase. It's very long, but it's basically the entirety of the Cold war. It's. It's pretty fantastic. And how it's back. You know, it went away for a minute, and it's back. Weird. But then you're like, huh, Here I am sitting there barking at bread about backs on tips and alligator Alcatraz. We don't know anything. You sit and yell at each other over it. Stop. You can. You can still have an opinion, but stop yelling at your friends. Stop going on Facebook and telling everybody you won't be friends with them if they don't agree with you. You really don't know what's going on. You're a surfy. You walk along the surface crust with the rest of us. You don't know what's going on underneath. If you want to dig, don't yell at your buddies anymore. And that's it. Good night, everybody. There you go. That is your Brady report. And Mike's balls are in a vice right now. Ah, Mike still need you. There it goes. It's your Brady report. It's 98. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. You P.D. hberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98, 10 years of. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up, Brady. Shut up. The last thing I want to hear in a story, Brady saying the phrase pepperoni nipples on a dude. On a guy. I don't know why you're telling that story when I heard you say pepperoni nipples. I checked out. I didn't send that one. What's on, Beth? Oh, checked in with Izzy for a second. I know that you had two reactions emotionally to pepperoni nipple. Man, yuck. And I'm hungry.

[John Holmberg]

It was a funny bit.

[Brett]

Yeah. Let's get a pizza. Brady said right after. I don't Know why? Pavlovian? Here we go. This is cool. Now we're gonna. Because no one told me about this for sure. Brett knew about it. That was your job.

[Byron]

I told you this morning we had a lot of stuff to catch up from, from the week.

[Brett]

That's true. I didn't know this would had been confirmed, but it is beginning. So today I'm just going to let you know what. What the hell's going on. And then as the weeks go on and we get closer and closer to volbeat here for my birthday and yeah, Volbeat decided to come out, play the 26th of July. So John's birthday, we'll come out, we'll do that for him. Like, thanks to the boys in Volbeat, my Nordic brethren. Here's what we're giving you guys. It is a. The goat. They call it a goat. Private VIP experience, meaning the grace of all time. Here's what you'll get. And it's worth about 800 bucks, which is pretty amazing.

[Byron]

VIPs aren't cheap.

[Brett]

No, I mean it is crazy what they're getting for that. So this is what you get. So you get a choice. You get two general admission tickets. That's like the pit standing.

[Byron]

Yeah, I think that's the pit.

[Brett]

Yeah. Or you can get a couple seats within the first five rows of the stage. So you can either be one of those people. Some people like standing, some people like having a seat. It's up to you. You get to pick. You'll get a meet and greet with volbeat that includes one professional individual photo with the band members taken by the official tour photographer, so you don't have to do it on your phone and go, wait, wait, wait. Then you get private group production tour experience, including the rig rundown led by a member of volbeat tour team. I. I have no idea what that is.

[Byron]

So basically showing you the amps and the pedals and stuff for the guitars and. Yeah, yeah, one of those.

[Brett]

Don't touch that.

[Byron]

Don't touch that.

[Brett]

Marshall, you'll get a lot of. Don't touch that. But that's still.

[John Holmberg]

This one goes to 11.

[Brett]

Yeah. Don't touch that. Don't touch that. That's what that tour's going to be. I'm not going to lie to you. Come here. Follow me. Don't touch it. Don't touch that. It's like if your parents took you to a museum on vacation. You didn't realize you were in a museum and your dad's like, ah, nuts. All right, put your hands in Your pockets. What?

[Byron]

I'm not paying for a goddamn thing.

[Brett]

Goddamn hands in your pockets. That plate is $5,000 dollars. Don't touch it. That's going to be that tour. But it's an experience. You won't touching pain. Yeah. You're not. Don't touch it. So that'll happen. I don't know what that that is.

[Byron]

I don't think you can buy that. I don't think that's part of the meet and greet. That's something special for.

[Brett]

Yeah. And it is kind of neat to tour around, see all the stuff. Then you get access to an intimate.

[John Holmberg]

End up with a couple of picks.

[Byron]

Guitar picks.

[Brett]

Oh, you'll end up with that. You're going to get more than that, Brady. Access to an intimate pre show area just for goat. Private meet and greet experience package holder. And that gets you complimentary snacks and beverages. Gotta love that. Snacks and beverages are never bad. Autographed VIP exclusive volbeat merch. So they're gonna give you some autograph stuff from volbeat. Additional VIP exclusive volbeat merchandise. Not autograph, but more stuff. You're gonna walk out of there with a bag of stuff. Two commemorative VIP laminates and lanyards. Which means you're gonna be able to wander around all you want. Crowd free tour merchandise. What does that mean? Shopping opportunity. Dedicated. You get to go to their dedicated stand before the crowd gets there.

[John Holmberg]

So you get to pick out what you want.

[Brett]

You get to raid the store like handicapped kids do at Christmas at the toy store before they open it to the general public. You get to go in there, make.

[Byron]

Sure you got your size ahead of time.

[Brett]

You know. You know exactly. Sell out the way they do orphans and stuff sometimes. Like all right. All the kids who have love in their lives will get to tour the store. Your friends first on site perks like VIP check in the black carpet entry. I've never heard of that.

[John Holmberg]

VIP chicken.

[Brett]

Chicken. Yeah, that's right, Brady. VIP chicken. Very important chicken. A black carpet entry. I don't know what that is. Dedicated road crew. That means you get your own people, right?

[Byron]

That part I'm not sure. I thought you were helping them.

[Brett]

I think. Yeah, I think it. I think think gonna move stuff.

[Byron]

I think so.

[Brett]

And a priority lane into the venue. You get your own walk through. And I know exactly where they're gonna do that.

[Byron]

That's nice.

[Brett]

I know exactly where that is. And it's awesome because you cut through everything. So I'm guessing they're gonna load you up down where you go into the Rah, rah room. That back. There's a back door at the southwest corner of the arena. And then you're gonna go in there, and then you'll be like, in the guts.

[Byron]

It got in the amphitheater.

[Brett]

Oh, it is. Is.

[Byron]

I'm pretty sure.

[Brett]

Oh, you might be right. Yeah. I thought this was downtown. You're right. This is at talking. Well, still, you know where that is. All right. Even better. That's even smoother. Yeah.

[Byron]

You don't wait in the summer heat in that line. Just go right through.

[Brett]

Yeah, it is with the afternoon. You're right. I thought it was downtown. You're getting a load of stuff here. And we're just going to give you guys chances to qualify for this thing. We'll do it starting tomorrow with qualifications. Just wonder. I want the rundown of what this is because I wasn't sure about about it until Brett told me this morning. So two general admission tickets is probably the route I'd go. I mean, if you want to sit, I'm going. You're going to take the seat. The meet and greet with volbeat's going to be cool. We're not going to do another interview like we did last time?

[Byron]

I don't think so. Not on this one.

[Brett]

Ask a few questions, see what they do. Yeah, I don't know what the. The production tour is interesting to me because the rig rundown down is just this dude pointing out all the equipment. Don't touch that. That's his hand. It's a stack. This is what we use for this. Yeah.

[Byron]

Your dad giving a tour.

[Brett]

God damn. Touch it. God damn it. Don't touch that. All right. You just bought it. Yeah. And all this autograph stuff. So this is great. And Volvit's here July 26th. This is pretty awesome. We're gonna start giving these away tomorrow. Handing you guys chances to get back there and then just have the most exclusive backstage thing. Now, I've always complained that backstage isn't cool anymore unless it's that this is cool. Cause you're getting stuff and the band is taking care of you.

[John Holmberg]

It's for you to do. You're supposed to be there, standing there.

[Brett]

The worst part about backstage is when the band doesn't want you there. Like, this is their invitation to you. It's different when the band expects you, but when you're standing backstage and you're like, what do I do now? Then you just get pushed against a wall while the band walks by because you're not allowed to look at them backstage. Is either all in or nothing.

[Byron]

Where it sucks.

[Brett]

Yeah. Where it's horrible. And if you're all in, it's awesome. If. If it's not, you're just getting knocked all over the place. This is awesome. You get a roadie, you get to hang out. I love this. So there you go. Volbeat gave us all this stuff. We can't thank Aaron. Dude's done it again. He just hands us all this great stuff so you don't get these things anywhere else. And volbe's a great band to do this with. And you're going to get great seats to go see a great band live, too. They're are outstanding hour and a half, which is great entertainment, so get ready for that. We're going to start giving those away tomorrow. And we'll have ways to do that that you can't fathom because we haven't figured it out yet either. So there you go. The Volbe contest is yours in just moments. We got a what would Brady do? Coming up. It's 98 KUPD. It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. What would Brady do? Hmm. There we go. It is time now for what would Brady do? The moment in which Brady puts down all of the things that he does right. To rub it in your face. Big vacation weekend with the daughter. You and Kirby went out and hung out.

[John Holmberg]

And her friend Caitlin.

[Brett]

You brought Caitlin and Kirby. Did y' all share a room? How'd that work?

[John Holmberg]

We did.

[Brett]

All three of you?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You didn't put them in their own room?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

You had to share poop room for four people, but there were two bathrooms or something? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

Oh, they had to. Some poor girl had to smell her friend's dad's deuce every day at least once.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

Yes. Brady, yes.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know you did, too.

[Brett]

You poop four times a day.

[John Holmberg]

They weren't around.

[Brett]

They were. Why didn't you just get them their own room then if they weren't needing your supervision constantly? You know how that would be. Never smell your friend's dad's poo. All right, little ladies, clear the room. At night, you always talk about pooping before bed. They weren't out and about on the town without you. Late nights, you guys all went in. They're Watching tv. You hosed up, took a huge deuce, and that poor girl had to breathe in Bogan dump. That's awful.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe once.

[Brett]

No, multiple times. Your rose coloring time. Were they in there every night before bed?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Then you pooped in front of them?

[John Holmberg]

No, because I didn't. I didn't poop it.

[Brett]

But you say you wake up in the middle of the night. No.

[John Holmberg]

Well, just recently I've been down to.

[Brett]

Basically, once you've dropped down a little.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

All right, good for you. Normal human feces. Nothing worse than having it wake you in the middle of the night. I can't even imagine. That's way too much work down there. You can't be getting proper sleep if your body's churning out deuce. Gotta make more deuce. But he's asleep, sir. I don't care. We're backing up.

[John Holmberg]

Shut the deuce factory now.

[Brett]

Let's go. Well, good for you. I guess you're. You're growing into a real boy now. Proud of you. It's time now for Brady. One day. Brady, we call it. Once a day. Could be bad, though. You might have one of them Elvis impact deals going on.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think so.

[Brett]

All right. You're pretty confident with your flow.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good flow. It's a good flow.

[Brett]

You didn't one time come out of that bathroom. What about showering and stuff? How do you share a hotel room with a teenage girl?

[John Holmberg]

They showered at night.

[Brett]

But what about their showering? Like that poor girl had to sit and you were in the room. Room and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

That's just not a problem.

[Brett]

Oh, it's a problem.

[John Holmberg]

Easy peasy.

[Brett]

I would have known for sure. You're different. But if Dan took my sister and one of her friends on a vacation, the showering would have been a problem. Ugh, that's weird. Was it a two bedrooms? There's two beds in one room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, two beds in one room.

[Brett]

So you all just kind of laid there together, farting, I mean. Oh, you know, you were gas. You know you were. You gassed out.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't gas out.

[Brett]

You didn't fart once.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't.

[Brett]

All night long. The one thing you.

[John Holmberg]

It was a gas free night.

[Brett]

You don't know that. You sleep.

[John Holmberg]

When I fell asleep. I can't.

[Brett]

That poor girl might as well have been abducted by human traffickers. She had to lay in that bed and shake. Why does your daddy wear all that stuff? He's like a deep sea diver over there. Look at him. Good night, girls. You know you did. You gassed it out. I know you did. You know it. You can't control that. Would you want that? You and a friend and Kurt. No, no. Miserable. Like when you were 8, 16. Every had a blast. I bet that girl did. Whatever you said, just keep him awake. It's fluttering. It's like curtains in the wind down there. All right. That I have to put a ban on as the last time you share a hotel room with two teen girls. Your daughter by herself is fine, but that poor girl had to.

[John Holmberg]

It sounded bad.

[Brett]

It does. It sounds bad. Because it is.

[Byron]

Now he thinks about it.

[Brett]

Because it is gonna take the neighbor girl to San Diego and bash Shaq up with her, huh? Yeah. I don't need to get her own room. That poor girl. She had to sleep in, like, a parka and stuff. She couldn't just wear, like a normal sleep.

[John Holmberg]

Part of the deal.

[Brett]

I get.

[John Holmberg]

You want to go on the trip or not?

[Brett]

Oh, man. No, sir. I didn't. She doesn't go next year anyway. And Ronnie didn't get to go because of scheduling stuff. But you two were gonna sleep together in that situation. Had Ronnie gone, you wouldn't have gotten them their own tight, would you have. You'd have slept in that whole week.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Without boning your. None of that.

[Byron]

No hotel sex.

[Brett]

Yeah. That's the whole point.

[John Holmberg]

You know how trips work out.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

With timing and everything.

[Brett]

Yeah. You're talking about her period and stuff, but still. So they told her she can't go now.

[John Holmberg]

We've been pretty good on that.

[Brett]

So what you're saying is. And this is gross, those two girls you brought probably started to cycle just to get used to vacation periods. Because that's what they do. So you just had a couple of bleeders and you and your machine. Disgusting. You didn't want your own room?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

Because.

[Brett]

Why? Yeah, why not share. That's why I call them. Why not? I tell you why not Share. There's teen girls. You share a room with Kirby at home.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

That's right. There's a reason. Gross.

[John Holmberg]

Share house.

[Brett]

I know. She got her own space where she can shut a door. You can share the Holiday Inn. You don't have to be in the same room again.

[John Holmberg]

I could handle it for four days.

[Brett]

But could they? I'm not asking you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. No. We had a blast.

[Brett]

She's. You know what? I bet she's been asleep ever since you guys got home. And her parents are, like, pretty. Sure did wear our little girl out. I don't like saying it out loud. Did you get a lot of sleep on your trip, honey? No, mom, the gas. The gas. I didn't sleep a wink.

[John Holmberg]

Headache. Sulfur. Headache.

[Brett]

The old man. The old man, he sleeps with some tubes on his face and his eyes are wide open. He just stared at me all night. Farted. Hi, Caitlin. Want some eggs?

[John Holmberg]

Aw, eggs too.

[Brett]

Christ. In about an hour. Oh, and it's also miserable because you're popping out of bed at 6 in the morning. Naturally, yeah. Oh, those two are laying there miserable, bouncing around, farting, pooping. You took dumps while they slept. Yeah, well, most of the time, but she had to. She's probably having dreams of, like, living in a cow pasture. What's happening?

[John Holmberg]

Maybe induced a nightmare.

[Brett]

And you have to hear that. That through the door. Dropping them down in there.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus.

[Brett]

Poor girl. Probably opened her eyes like, where am I? That's a strong one. That's kind of orange.

[John Holmberg]

They never knew.

[Byron]

Is that what you're going with?

[John Holmberg]

Stealth. Stealth.

[Brett]

You girls cold? Every time I walk by that bed, everybody's shaking. We're fine, Mr. Pokenfoot. Ever. Just please turn the fan on.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna heat her up.

[Brett]

Time for bed anyway. Well, now, I don't even care what this is. This. You're disgusting. Victor says, well, I just got in my car. Welcome back. First thing I hear is you can't get good sleep. Trying to tune out a deuce. And you are right, it's true. Poor girl. I'm so sorry to this, Caitlyn. Poor girl. I'm sorry that your host was so cheap he didn't want his own space. That you wanted to share their poops too. That's even worse. Let them have their own room. You have to have girl poops. Look, anyway, well, Brady was brought to you by Mo Money Pond. I'm sure they did. They're eating well. Dumping it.

[John Holmberg]

We ate well.

[Brett]

All three of us in the same toilet. Oh, I feel so bad for that girl. You paid for the trouble trip.

[John Holmberg]

I did.

[Brett]

Are you gonna pay for the therapy too, or.

[Byron]

That wasn't included.

[Brett]

That wasn't included in the.

[John Holmberg]

That's her responsibility.

[Brett]

Yeah, she knew what she was getting into. She looked at your little body and thought, this is gonna smell eventually.

[John Holmberg]

That's part of being scholarship.

[Brett]

That was nice of you. Except for the room part. She should have brought her own. Thanks, Mr. Bogan, for covering everything, but I'm gonna get my own room. Why your ass. You. You may have made the good choice there, Cait Land. But anyway, Mo money ponds on 12th street in Indian School. MMP Guns is where you want to go inside of there and check out everything you'd need. If I was that girl, I might get one for protection for next year's trip.

[Byron]

Byron will give you a discount.

[Brett]

Byron, I'll give you a Brady Gas discount. You've. You've seen the worst of it all. He'll get you a flamethrower. You can light the whole place up. You can go over there. Momentypon.com Check out MMP guns. Brady, are you ready?

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, ready.

[Brett]

Then he acts like, oh no, I clamped it up all weekend. I didn't fart once. That poor girl listened to 20 a night. You haven't been able to control sleep farts. And you've been bragging about it since I've known you. Bragging about it. Can't help it. In your sleep. You can.

[John Holmberg]

It's under control.

[Brett]

Sometimes you can't help it. That poor girl. Dear Brady, speaking of. Oh, Brett, you're gonna like this. When my wife has orgasms, she has full body releases and sometimes loses control of her bowels. I was gonna try to read that without laughing, but I can't. No kidding, guys. I effed up out of her. Sometimes it's absolutely everywhere. Sometimes it's just a little bit. Okay, now she's going to see if she can get treatment to have it stop. And I realized when she said she was going to the doctor that I don't want this to stop. She says it's disgusting, but it's sort of a point of pride. Now I'm the only guy I know that bangs the ass out of his wife. For real. We have to lay plastic down sometimes, Brian.

[Byron]

So it's like American Psycho in there or what?

[Brett]

I don't know what this one is.

[John Holmberg]

What's.

[Brett]

Basically he's asking would you. If your wife wanted to get that fixed.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

Yeah, me too. I don't know why that's a question. Although I mean you. Now you know where the phrase came from. Guys have been saying that for years.

[John Holmberg]

But it. You know, is he worried if by getting it fixed then it. She loses that.

[Brett]

Here's what I think.

[John Holmberg]

Part of she won't have an orgasm anymore.

[Brett]

I think if you hit a certain level, right. And then you miss it. You think it's not as good. Like if I. Like if. Let's say Brett and I are gay and I give it to him good. And every time I give it to him, he has an orgasm. It's obvious when a man does. But when it's really good. His nose bleeds every time. His nose doesn't bleed. I know he hasn't hit the peak. So you've actually set your bar high now. The feces is disgusting. But he knows now if that doesn't happen, she got like a 6 out of 10. So what you have to start doing is what Brady does. Don't care if they have orgasms.

[John Holmberg]

I was always girlfriends have orgasms. Wives do not.

[Brett]

Ah, that. That's terrible, Brady. Can't believe you'd say such a thing.

[Byron]

Didn't we have a video about that a couple weeks ago with the full explosion?

[Brett]

Yes, they all blend.

[John Holmberg]

But I think yes, one time and it's getting fixed right away. I mean, for me. I mean, just the fact of laying plastic down.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't like that idea. It's too much preparation.

[John Holmberg]

That is.

[Brett]

Holmberg's morning sickness. I mean, unless you're gonna have one of those oily, fun, crazy things. But you do that in a different. You do that.

[John Holmberg]

You still have to have plastic on hand.

[Brett]

You do that in Caitlyn's bed when she's not around. You do that. That's the. That's what a. Well, Brady, that's what normal men see a two bedroom host hotel as. The sex bed, the sleeping bed. Yours is the fart bed, the kids bed. And it's disgusting. I'd rather have a wife that dumps every time she has an O than share a hotel room with two teenage girls. Now don't even say no. One of them's better because we'll replay that and the owners will get furious. Brie likes to share bedrooms with. What is he, Jared? One of them's my daughter. Oh, God, stop it. So yeah, you get it fixed. But I kind of understand. You know, I'm playing devil's advocate because immediately I'd be out. You take a dump more than once while we're doing it and that the ball game's over. I don't want to do that anymore.

[Byron]

More than once.

[Brett]

But I also pretty proud of myself.

[John Holmberg]

Could be a deal breaker.

[Brett]

Oh, it's a deal breaker.

[John Holmberg]

Like if you were going out out with a person and then you hook up.

[Brett]

If it happened. Look, here's the thing. If it happens and she's like, that's normal. Like if she's crying and everything, like that one girl that. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, if she, you know, basically admits she lost control. I'm so sorry.

[Brett]

That one time that.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, little pride.

[Brett]

The Brian Adams girl lost control and started peeing at first I was disgusted. And then I'm like, I made her body stop functioning like it was improperly functioning. Like you think about it, brain neurons and atoms and all sorts of stuff started banging into the wrong spots of her head. Bodies doing stir. Arms flopping around like she couldn't control herself because of me. And at first you're like gross. Then, then you're sitting there just wiping pee off going, I did something awesome. Don't, Brett. Goddammit. I just remember going. And she went, what's that? Oh my God, I'm peeing. It was in that particular position of face to canyon.

[Byron]

I don't know if. If I'm with some broad and she's got Bellagio ass, I'm out.

[Brett]

Oh, Bellagio asses. I think I draw that line. You're allowed to lose control of the front.

[Byron]

Yeah, I mean once. That's a once difference between peeing and, you know.

[Brett]

No, but Bellagio has done it. Tasted like licking an ever. Ready? It's the weirdest thing. And when you test a bad battery.

[Byron]

She'S got a 9v up there.

[Brett]

Exactly the same kind of strangeness. Damn it, Brett. Who else can we help like this at all? Dear Brady, I just shared a room with a middle to late aged man.

[Byron]

Oh God.

[Brett]

Oh no. Dear Brady, my wife is now hovering about 191 pounds. She says it's because of. All right, Brett said it. Hold on, you're not wrong. It's Palladio. Yeah, you're not wrong. But for the rest of the people who care about humanity, let me start again. Once again, Brett's Brett's opinion on this. The out. Oh, the man's trying to eat. All right, it says my wife is now hovering around 191 pounds. I screwed that up too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, that is a big woman.

[Brett]

That's a big lady. She says it's because of our kids she hasn't been able to lose the weight. Our youngest is 19.

[Byron]

Oh, come on.

[Brett]

I know she won't do the Ozempic because it's expensive. And I've talked to her about that not being a problem, but she just won't do it. I told her I don't think I'm attracted to you anymore. You were fine before. 25 pounds ago you were still big, but that was about as high as we can go because you look unhealthy now. I'm not bad with the weight, I'm bad with the trend. This is the direction this is headed. I don't want her to be unhealthy. And content with it. She's pushing 200 pounds. I recently told her I'm gonna leave her if she doesn't lose the weight because a, she has no thought of me, and B, she has less thought of herself. So if I love her, I should want her to be healthier because I know if I leave, she will lose weight. I'm not going to be happy if my wife doesn't care about herself. I'm in a real mess here. What would Brady do? Victor. Wow. That's from a place of love. A lot of people heard that as mean, like Brett, but it was from a place of love.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to hear that word in here again.

[Byron]

Yeah, 191.

[John Holmberg]

So a couple things. One, she could. Sometimes you can qualify for the ozempic. Or we goi.

[Brett]

She didn't want to do it if.

[John Holmberg]

But if. Because of expense, that's all right.

[Brett]

Well, I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what it sounds.

[Brett]

Seems like she's trying to fight losing it, because if he's willing to.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand.

[Brett]

If he's willing to pay for it, her expense thing's out the door.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if she doesn't want to lose it.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Then she must be feeling. I mean, and she's fine. I gotta believe that. She probably wants to be. She wants to lose some weight.

[Byron]

I don't know. That kid's 19 years old. That excuse died.

[Brett]

That's what I'm. Fifteen years ago, the second you say, oh, I can't because of the baby weight, and your kid is like, legal voting age, you're. You're. That excuse just means I'm not doing it. I'm looking for reasons to tell you just get off my back. And that's a trump card for ladies. They throw down the baby weight. I had three kids. Like, okay, yeah, I can get it. And I'm not saying you have to be £120, but you're going to be 200 by this time next year, and that's not good either.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, he can't do anything about it. She doesn't want to lose weight. She's not.

[Brett]

Then do you leave someone you care about about because they've stopped taking care of themselves?

[John Holmberg]

I would. You know, in the. In the past, I'd always say, oh, no, you. You've committed, sure, you're in this relationship. But there's a point in time where health can start kicking.

[Brett]

That's what he's saying. He's not. She's not healthy. And he doesn't want to be around that. She's gonna lose her toes soon. By the way, Batman's right. It says there's no hovering at 191 pounds. That's true. Shouldn't use the word hovering at 191. You're. You're grounded. Yeah, when somebody. But that's a. That's a. Like, you read this guy's email, and it comes from a place of caring. He's saying, if I love her, heartbreak will make her lose weight. That'll make her healthier, so maybe I should do that. And then in the end, everybody gets what they want. Maybe you get back together. Maybe you find out you're the reason she doesn't care about herself. That. That is a signal back. Like when. Like if someone stops caring about themselves in front of you and you say, hey, I want you to do this. Like, no. Like, they're doing it to you, too. Like, they're basically saying, you are not motivation enough for me to care about myself. And if she's pushing two bills and the kid's 19 years old, you're still blaming that There's. There's a lack of motivation and ambition that is.

[John Holmberg]

Ever since it, you know, put that weight on, I just haven't been able to get it off.

[Brett]

No, you're not trying.

[Byron]

Well, he probably hasn't been able to either.

[Brett]

Yeah, he can't push her off there. That's a tough bench. Dead weight. Get it off either, man. I mean.

[Byron]

I'd motivate her with Cordell and Cordell.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's a good motivation. I actually think this guy's coming from a good, healthy perspective of saying, look, you need to take care of yourself. I don't need to be a priority in your life at all. I'm gonna walk away. Oh, my God. And if she flips out, it's like, what do you need to do? I'm like, you need to start caring about this and not just me and my needs. Like, you're dying in front of me. You're. That's big. I'm 206.

[John Holmberg]

And just knowing that stepping away, like you're doing that. You can't get upset when she puts her life together and gets right. Totally fit.

[Brett]

That'll be when she leaves. But that's. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

You can't say.

[Brett]

Very true. Because you can't be like, I did this to make you care about yourself and love yourself. And then when she does, you can't get back. Well, why didn't you just like you're doing this to like, you should see her like thinner and happy and alone without you and think, you know what? It was me. Maybe you're the. Maybe you're the reason why she doesn't care. Maybe she needs that jump start. But I think that's right.

[John Holmberg]

But is it to the point you know of he's saying, has he fallen out of the attraction part of it too?

[Brett]

Of course, yeah. He told her in the first. Like Maggie said, I told her, I'm not attracted to you anymore. And it has less to do with the weight and more to do with the fact that she's okay with it, that she's okay with not trying. Ambition can be sexy. And seeing somebody £200 trying to be 180.

[Byron]

Well, men are visual too.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, yeah, but that's a goal oriented person.

[John Holmberg]

On themselves for sure.

[Brett]

Oh, sure.

[John Holmberg]

Like, because like you could. They can be totally hot, very attractive if they're not seeing it.

[Brett]

Oh yeah, they get it.

[John Holmberg]

It's unbelievable.

[Brett]

They know what's supposed to be hot. They just try to fight it. They don't like reality too often, but when they're 191, she thinks she's. If she starts trying, she's never gonna get back to where she was, so she might as well just be this. It's like if I, if I get down to 160, I'm still not gonna be happy with myself, so what's difference? And that's what he's seeing. He's like, well, you're not happy. You're making me miserable now. And the couch, this huge cavern and I can't lay down anymore. My back is all curved.

[John Holmberg]

I would say don't be afraid to dive in. You know, she needs to come around and think. All right, well, maybe going on a WOVI or OIC to start it off, but lifestyle is going to have to change eventually.

[Brett]

Build a barn in your backyard. Here's where you stay until you're better. Jesus, John, you painted a great picture of Brady's teenaged Adventureland vacation. Reminded me of Silence of the Lambs where the girl was stuck in the well. Probably smelled like Brady's farts in there too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God.

[Brett]

This girl. This girl passes out, cries and pisses herself every time she hears a bathroom exhaust fan. Now she's got ptsd. What's. Caitlyn, wake up. What's happened, little darling? Brady, what did you do to our daughter? What a nightmare that had to be for poor Caitlin, she had a great time. Don't ask, Ass. I'm sure you had fun while everybody was awake. But the night terrors. Oh, that poor girl. And she got Kirby laying next to her, too. Yep, Kirby's a bogan. She was catching. She was catching some heat all night in that bed. They shared a bed. And Kirby was ass blasting her like crazy. Poor Caitlyn. We're here for you, Caitlin. Brett, give Caitlyn tickets to something. That poor girl's been through enough. It's 9:34. There you go, everybody. That is what Brady did. And boy, oh, boy, should be ashamed of himself for some of it. It's 98. That was what Brady did. Listen, hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. It's audio slave. Rare, like a stone. Just wanted to say, people emailing me about the volbeat giveaway tomorrow. We'll start qualifying winners for that only. Only one winner, right? I think people think that they're gonna win every day.

[Byron]

We're only doing it this week, too.

[Brett]

Yeah. And it's just this week. Yeah. We'll do two tomorrow, one Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. So it'll be five total qualifiers, one winner. Not everybody's gonna get back there because the guy's like, oh, I really want to win tomorrow. Like, okay, you do. But just keep in mind, one. And I just got an email. Volbeat will throw in a kiss. Yeah. So the last little piece of that is, if you want, you can ask Bo Beat for a kiss. Now, if they don't want to talk about it before, they're going to give you all that other stuff. So just act like we all know this is going on. And then at the last second. Guys, how about my kiss? Now they'll know what you're talking about. And then if you don't talk about it. That's exactly right, Richard. Exactly. You don't bring it up, they won't bring it up. And you don't bring it up. Just at the end, go in for a kiss. It's part of the prize pack. I just want to boldly fight you. What are you doing, stupid dude? Let's take a kissing. We just had a guy backstage try to kiss me. That would be awesome. That is a great prize. We're very proud of that. And also Larry will get upset saying this. We got another one coming up later. Perhaps, perhaps later this summer was another band you want to be backstage with. So we had. Hello. That comes with a kiss, John. Oh God. You can't kiss those guys. Who's the first one we did this with? Disturbed. Disturbed. And now we're doing Volbeat. And then somewhere in September, October.

[Dick Toledo]

And you said the dude knew what he was doing.

[Byron]

The guy was pro.

[Brett]

He was interview.

[Byron]

Yeah, he knew what he was doing.

[Brett]

Yeah. Wait till you see the next one. So full beach coming up July 26th. We got an entertainment drill coming up next. It's 98 Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Look, we can come back day one. We're already giving you extra time. How's that for you, huh? We don't screw around with that leaving early stuff. We haven't figured it out yet. I would like to. 24 years. 24 years of trying to try to leave early. Just can't be good. Too dedicated. They say they're wrong. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the HUM Tactical Black Self defense training. If you want to get out there and start training for the future, well, then you should do it. You got kids going off to college. That's a big one right now. A friend of mine again, and I'm at that age where friends all have kids going to college. College. Worried about his daughter, worried about this. I'm like, you know what you need to do before you send her off is get her some training. Get her in there, have some confidence. I talked to Fitz about it on break and he. He was talking about he met a guy who had been in the can and he said all those dudes do are trained to fight in the streets when they get out. And he goes, and it is real, man. It's real. And it doesn't mean you're gonna be invincible. It just means that you'll have some confidence. Confidence before you know bad things can happen. Right now you got nothing. At least get something put in your back pocket and they'll teach you the proper ways to do it. It's scary when you think about that those guys that go to jail, that they're there for a year and the only thing to do is to train how to be a worse person when they come out. A lot of them do that. You don't want to get tangled up with those types. So put something in your back pocket, get a little confidence. Start becoming a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. They teach it and they teach it fast. Reactdefense.com. you start today, you'll be blown away by what you will be tomorrow. It's the home of Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[John Holmberg]

Dr. Phil's Merritt Street Media Company just filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. They went to court and they filed a lawsuit against its distribution partner, the Trinity Broadcast Network.

[Brett]

The religious thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

Yeah. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Allegedly. That TBN breached the company's contract which ended up costing Merritt street over a hundred million dollars.

[Brett]

You are a. And so is your God, who has not distributed my show properly. He was the original Jesse from Breaking Bad. What are you looking at? I love Dr. Phil. I miss his old show. I hate. I hate that he became self important. It's back in the day when he was just Dr. Phil.

[Dick Toledo]

Adam Ray's doing his best to keep him relevant.

[Brett]

Adam ray does the Dr. Phil I like. Yeah. Like everybody laughs at him like this was the real Dr. Phil. That would just. No, you're doing it to yourself like a little tough love. And now he's got his podcast where he's trying to change your life and all he does is sell you. If you ever listen to his podcast, you know, that's interesting. More so interesting is this hook for my hip. If you lay on it just right, I'm like, you're selling me an Instagram ad every few seconds. He, he has a tie in to buy a book or a program or just yell at people again. That was what was fun.

[John Holmberg]

President Trump's going to hold a UFC event at the White House.

[Brett]

By the way, I bought the hook.

[John Holmberg]

Celebrating 250. You did? Does it work?

[Brett]

I don't know. It's not in yet. But I did buy it. It's $200. Have you seen that ad? It's supposed to dig into your hip bone and release your psoas, which is where all of your pain lives. And you learn that when you go through a lot of physical therapy. Is that in the front of your hip here? You can't get it with your own fingers. You can't dig in. Your body won't let you.

[Dick Toledo]

Fixed with the new.

[Brett]

Oh, I am. But it's always for like back pain or sciatic nerve or anything like that. So you just dig this thing in there. Massage therapists can't even get there with their thumbs. Lay down on it, push on it and it digs into your hip and it releases the psoas, which is very hard to do. And there's another thing in there. So the lady's been selling this to me. Every time I see something and I'm like, I'm getting that.

[Byron]

It's 200 bucks.

[Brett]

$200 for just basically a stick with a curve. But it's got a purpose. Sorry, go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

So the event would go down at the white house.

[Brett]

House.

[John Holmberg]

He wants 20 to 25,000 fans there. Full card. John bone Jones said he retired, but he said, you know what?

[Brett]

I'll come back for that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll throw down on that.

[Brett]

Okay, great. It's the big throwdown at the white house. We're gonna have that there. The grouse at the house, we call it. There you go. We don't know. We haven't come up with a great name yet, but there's not a lot going on in the world. So I figured, why not do this?

[John Holmberg]

Entertainment weekly has ranked the 30 best sci fi TV shows of all time.

[Brett]

Well, sci fi geeks will automatically go to. Is that David duchovny show X files?

[John Holmberg]

X files. X files came at number seven.

[Brett]

They love that one.

[John Holmberg]

Kirby's.

[Brett]

Oh, and then you're gonna get star Trek people. You're to get star trek, but also the cable people will go with that Battlestar Galactica thing that went crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Number two.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'm thinking of sci fi people. They're the dorks that overdo things that nobody else watch but does.

[Dick Toledo]

Babylon 5. That's another one. Yeah, that's a cable one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it might be lower down. Number 10, quantum leap.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Number 9, lost. Number 8, firefly. X Files 7. Star Trek. The next generation.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, they're gonna put all the star treks on there.

[John Holmberg]

Mystery Science Theater 3000. Number five.

[Brett]

I still watch rift tracks. The guys who they're not allowed to call it mystery science theater anymore, they got rift tracks on the original.

[John Holmberg]

Star trek. Number four, Doctor who. Number three, Battle star. Galactica. Number two. Number one, alf. The twilight zone.

[Brett]

Oh, I was wrong for sure. I nailed it with alf.

[John Holmberg]

Shape of you by ed sheeran is the most streamed song ever on apple music. It's followed by the weekend's blinding lights.

[Brett]

Really, man.

[John Holmberg]

And then God's plan by drake. Then I post a bunch of highlights from ozzy triumphant final show.

[Brett]

Getting a lot of videos from people showing me Ozzy on the show. And I'm happy for him that it's over more than anything else that Sharon.

[Byron]

Finds another cash grab.

[Brett]

Exactly. And that's what I'm worried most about is that all these people just got duped into going all the way to England spending thousands of dollars and then Ozzy's gonna do another one. And the only thing you're kind of hoping for is eventually you were right. Remember in 1993, no more tours. And everybody bought shirts. That was it. He was done 32 years ago. He quit. I went and he was back a year ago.

[Byron]

Retirement sucks tour or something like that. It was something like that.

[Brett]

It was, was. And you know, Kiss has done it. No, everybody's done. This is my last tour and they won't stop. This is nice that Azie's finally finished, cuz Sharon's driving him into the ground.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, you said you saw a little bit of it. But Jason Momoa, when he was the master of ceremonies and when he introduced Pantera, jumped into the oh yeah, Cowboys from Hell start.

[Byron]

He just jumped right in the audience and was going in the circle bit.

[John Holmberg]

Steven Tyler surprised fans and performed Train Kepper rolling, Nice. Walk this way and. And covered a whole lot of love.

[Brett]

And he's another one that I don't really want to see doing too much.

[John Holmberg]

And Jack Black appeared in a pre tape segment where he played Mr. Crowley backed by the sons of Tom Morello and Scotty.

[Byron]

He couldn't show up, right? I mean, it was Jack Blackout going.

[Brett]

On Fly out for a day.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett]

That'S a big hunk of man flying at you. With Jason Momoa jumping into the crowd.

[Byron]

No, he crawled it. He crawled over the bed. He didn't stage dive. No, he didn't stage dive. No, he didn't stage dive.

[Brett]

And I think I'd move like. I don't want to see a guy that size wrestler all of a sudden. I'm not catching that. I'd have to have the confidence in the rest of the. Those, you know, limey Brits standing next to me, grabbing hold of him as well like that.

[Dick Toledo]

They would stay put also.

[Brett]

I don't want to be the only one going. I got it. I did that once with a concert when I assumed the rest of the crowd was with me. And I almost got into a fight with the entire Hell's Angels as they chased my black friend down the stairs. I thought I had backup. And then I realized what I was in the middle of. I realized I had to kill my position. Black friend with those Hell's Angels in order to get into the. There he goes. Yeah, he just kind of climbs in. That's better. That's pretty cool. That had to be a great day, though. The bands were incredible.

[Dick Toledo]

Sauce and malice and change.

[Brett]

They.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, we've seen them 100 times, but they still sounded.

[Brett]

Oh, they're just awesome.

[Dick Toledo]

In a big show or in a.

[Byron]

Big festival like that.

[Brett]

Is Larry giving away that money yet? Yes. Not last week. Damn it. You missed it. Well, congratulations to the big winner. Larry's got nothing for you. He's all done. Today Larry comes in with brand new stuff to give you. Be nice to Larry. He'll be nice back. I'm gonna go watch some elf. Have yourselves a great Monday. We'll see you tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness. So long. Hey, it's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Brett]

No membership feed I have heard enough of this.

[Dick Toledo]

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