07-07-25 - We Got Weird Disabled Pride Texts Last Week - Speed Cameras Are Returning To Some Cities Sparking Our Unlawful Citation Rant - DBacks Fan Has Been Banned After Causing 4 Diff Umpire Reviews

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: July 7, 2025 Episode Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD delivers another engaging and lively episode on July 7, 2025. Hosted by John Holmberg alongside Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, the show delves into a variety of topics ranging from societal issues to local sports controversies. This summary encapsulates the key discussions, insights, and humorous exchanges that characterized the episode.

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1. Disabled Pride Month Controversy

The episode kicks off with a heated discussion about Disabled Pride Month, sparked by conflicting messages and awkward communications received by listeners. John Holmberg recounts receiving a text about Disabled Pride Month and references a recent incident involving Chip Carey of the St. Louis Cardinals:

John Holmberg [04:30]: "Disability pride does not mean we're gay. It's just another group for you to hate, you able-bodied white bastard."

This statement ignites a debate among the hosts about the appropriateness and perception of pride movements. Travis Hoppel, a loyal listener, chimes in with his critical perspective:

Travis Hoppel [04:30]: "Disabled pride does not mean we're gay. It's just another group for you to hate, you able-bodied white bastard."

John attempts to navigate the conversation by distinguishing Disabled Pride from other pride movements, emphasizing that "pride is now associated with gay [pride]," which complicates the term's usage for disabled communities. The hosts grapple with the sensitivity of the topic, debating whether the term "pride" is suitable or if it inadvertently causes confusion and backlash.

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2. Resurgence of Speed Cameras and Unlawful Citations

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the resurgence of speed cameras in various cities and the ensuing frustration among motorists. John Holmberg spearheads a passionate rant against what he perceives as unlawful citations:

John Holmberg [10:02]: "It's time that we... did this again. That is not... everybody brings up big brother and it's too much. Everybody. Oh, that's big brother. This is insane..."

John criticizes the use of photo radar systems, arguing that they are more about revenue generation than improving safety. He shares personal anecdotes of intentionally speeding and using humor to mock the system, such as proposing the "Speed Rods" campaign where motorists would use oversized props to undermine photo radar effectiveness.

John Holmberg [12:43]: "We'll call it speed rods. And you put a speed rod in front of your face and you... hold it up while you speed. Buy these cameras. It's illegal for the state to disseminate pornography through the mail..."

The hosts brainstorm various satirical methods to protest against speed cameras, including the idea of attaching large, humorous objects to vehicles to confuse the systems or deter fines. Their creative suggestions aim to highlight the perceived absurdity and inefficiency of speed camera enforcement.

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3. Campaign Against Photo Radar Tickets

Building on their frustration with photo radar, the hosts discuss launching a campaign to combat what they see as arbitrary and invasive ticketing practices. John Holmberg shares his belief that his radio show has influenced public opinion against photo radar:

John Holmberg [10:02]: "I personally believe that I had quite a hand in this and no one will ever give me credit for it because they would have to admit they knew."

He outlines the flaws in the photo radar system, such as the inconsiderate issuance of multiple tickets in a short span and the lack of clear accountability. The discussion includes humorous and exaggerated strategies to subvert the system, like distributing framed images of phallic symbols to confuse or mock the enforcement agencies.

John Holmberg [15:57]: "We're gonna put Toledo's face on it. Oh, there you go. And that way we can do whatever you want with it..."

The conversation reflects the hosts' blend of serious critique and comedic relief, underscoring their commitment to challenging local policies they find unjust.

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4. Diamondbacks Fan Banned for Interference

Another highlight of the episode is the discussion about a Diamondbacks fan who was banned from games after multiple instances of interfering with umpire reviews. The hosts express skepticism about the enforceability and fairness of such bans:

John Holmberg [33:46]: "They're just an asshole. Four times. That's a lot."

They debate the practicality of enforcing bans across different seating sections and the lack of consistent identification methods. John suggests that moving disruptive fans to less prominent seats or implementing structural barriers could be more effective solutions.

John Holmberg [35:07]: "Just put him two rows back. He's a season ticket holder. You don't want to piss them off."

The hosts criticize the current approach, arguing that without a structured and enforceable system, bans are merely symbolic and fail to address the root cause of fan misbehavior.

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5. Personal Anecdotes and Humor

Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse personal stories and humorous exchanges that add a relatable and entertaining layer to the discussions. John shares a childhood incident involving tampering with an elevator at Sears, leading to a lifetime ban from the store:

John Holmberg [47:56]: "The bottom line was, I was banned from the Sears that day. And even at age 12, I looked..."

These anecdotes serve to humanize the hosts and provide comic relief amidst the more serious topics.

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6. Farewell to Ozzy and Black Sabbath

In a brief shift towards music and pop culture, the hosts touch on Ozzy Osbourne's final show and Black Sabbath's farewell performance. They express mixed feelings about the band's decision to retire, reflecting on Ozzy's enduring legacy and the emotional impact of his performances.

John Holmberg [58:03]: "I like your idea, Homburg. You white men go out there and buy yourself some giant dicks. Us black guys are gonna save $83."

While the discussion is tangential to the main topics, it showcases the hosts' ability to segue into diverse subjects while maintaining their characteristic humor and candidness.

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Conclusion

The July 7, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of social commentary, local issues, and humor. From dissecting the complexities of Disabled Pride Month to launching a tongue-in-cheek campaign against speed cameras, the hosts provide listeners with both insightful critiques and entertaining banter. Their spirited discussions on the banning of a Diamondbacks fan further highlight their engagement with community matters. Throughout the episode, the hosts maintain a balance between addressing serious topics and keeping the conversation light-hearted, ensuring an engaging listen for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [04:30]: "Disabled pride does not mean we're gay. It's just another group for you to hate, you able-bodied white bastard."
• John Holmberg [10:02]: "It's time that we... did this again. That is not... everybody brings up big brother and it's too much."
• John Holmberg [15:57]: "We're gonna put Toledo's face on it. Oh, there you go. And that way we can do whatever you want with it..."
• John Holmberg [33:46]: "They're just an asshole. Four times. That's a lot."
• John Holmberg [58:03]: "I like your idea, Homburg. You white men go out there and buy yourself some giant dicks. Us black guys are gonna save $83."

These quotes encapsulate the hosts' candid and often provocative style, underscoring the episode's blend of critique and humor.

Transcript

[Brett]

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[Byron]

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[Brett]

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[John]

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[Patrick]

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[John]

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[Brett]

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[John]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. It's insane. It was miles to nowhere. Thank you Katie. And the Hobbs getting us through once again. I gotta bark at Katie in a minute. Katie. Hobbs gonna take my lashing in a second. That's right. Get the books out. This guy says 4th of July. I have a full blown redneck now lives across the street from. He's Got like a thousand kids, dude as his bro Dozer parked next to a giant ass boat right in his driveway. Two cars parked out in front of the house now, so it's just a complete mess. So where does this doofus light his fireworks? Right in front of my house. And I'll tell you what, I never rooted so hard for a guy to get his hands blown off than I did this 4th of July. Thanks to that ass hat, my dog crapped everywhere, freaked out for hours on end.

[Brett]

How neighborly.

[John]

Yeah, payback's a bitch. And her stripper's name is Karma. That's right. Getcha. Yeah, it is, kind of. But again, I'll give you the 4th of July and New Year's Eve. I can prepare for that. But don't do it on nights that you know. At least ask. Tell your neighbors. If you're gonna have a party, the right thing to do is tell your neighbors how we're gonna be up a little late. It's gonna get loud, but it's a one off. But if you just spring it on them. And two in the morning, of course they're gonna go, hey, enough.

[Brett]

Yeah. Are your guys dogs? All good.

[John]

Yeah. The two that used to hate it so much are deaf now. Okay, so it's kind of better. Still not great. Yeah, but better.

[Brady]

Our neighborhood was kind of light according to I.

[John]

Was it Ronnie, but yeah, it wasn't that bad.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, we had the. We got the rescue dog, you know, we rescued the Doberman, and he was just like, what's going on?

[John]

Cool, Bone.

[Brett]

Yeah, whatever.

[John]

Some care, some don't care. It's crazy. But yeah, so, you know, just be considerate. That's coming from me. I got two emails in a row, which are odd. Tamara emailed it and said, look what I got on my phone yesterday. And it was a. It was kind of an interesting. It was a, you know, one of those alerts that pops up and it was. It said, disability Pride month has begun. Discover Games for Disability Pride Month. Now, you remember a couple weeks ago we talked about the St. Louis Cardinals and Chip Carey, who talked about Disability Pride Month and has the disability. And then he didn't say flag. He said, sounds like flag, but it isn't. And he used the Brennaman flag and he said it. And then it was just raucous laughter that they had to turn the mics off for 45 seconds while they tried to figure out if they still worked there. But we were trying to figure it out, too. Is Disability pride gay Cripples or just people super proud of being, you know, not able bodied, as they say. I got it. I got an answer.

[Brett]

I'm gonna step out of this conversation.

[John]

Why?

[Brett]

No, because I'll just.

[John]

You have enough money to cover it?

[Brett]

On it. My checkbook's a little light right now.

[John]

Don't worry about it. I got it. Oh, thanks. I got your back, buddy. It's totally legal to do that. It says, john, I have to correct you on disability pride. Oddly enough, it was right after I have one leg and it starts. The subject says it's disability pride month. I have one leg. I'm technically disabled. And trust me, I'm hardly proud of it. I shot my own leg when I was 17. 12 gauge against my thigh in the back of a pickup truck. Oh, point blank. Blew his thighs apart. Anyway, says to take pride in how this happened and why it happened would make me completely stupid. It's like having proud of my debilitating stroke due to drug use month. Granted, that's not everyone's story, but disabled pride does not mean we're gay. It's just another group for you to hate, you able bodied white bastard. Well, that is true. He doesn't have a point there. So that other than other than being able bodied, I'm right there with you. No one ever says, thank God I've got bird bones. What a gift. So proud of my condition. It's like you said. I bet you're trying to cure the thing you're so proud of, though. Just my two cents. Signed, Travis Hoppel on Kessinger. Loyal listener. I know. I like that. Loyal listener since 2012. Now based in Billings, Montana. Not Toledo's dad. Thank you, Travis. A lot of extra information there at the end. Touched them all, but he nailed them all. And that's it. You know what? I look at the disabled pride thing. Go ahead and find. But the word pride is now associated with gay. So when I see disabled pride, I get nervous. As an able bodied, white, cisgender, gay Jew, I don't know what I am anymore. I look at the word pride and I'm like, tiptoe. You know, proceed with caution. Don't get. Don't get grouchy about pride is gay. I'm sorry, that's just. They took it. That's theirs. So disabled people, you have to come up with another word. Plus, you're not proud of that. It is what it is. It's just, you know, life pride. I'm proud. I'm breathing. But he's right. Like Michael J. Fox doesn't go on TV and go, I'm so proud of my Parkinson's. It's like, no, just proud of yourself. You're fighting this mess, disease, pride. But, yeah, but all you're doing, as far as I see, is trying to cure this thing you're so proud of. It's like when Lizzo was running around talking about how proud she was to be fat and how, you know, she had all this pride and body positivity and then she lost weight. Now she can't stop posing in bikinis and talking about how healthy she is. And I'm like, that's what we were telling you when you were getting mad at us a while ago. Do you remember how mad she'd get when people be like, lizzo's a pig and south park did that thing and Lizzo's a pig. And she's like, it's body positivity and you guys are jerks. For now, she's skinny and all it is is health benefits. And we know exactly what you're proud of and not proud of, and you shouldn't be proud of that. You can accept it. There's no pride in that. It's like me being proud of my nose. I'm not. Pride look like a candy apple with a carrot sticking off the end of it. I'm. Come on, Rhino pride. I'm not proud. The only time you start saying your pride is, yeah, I have rhino pride. I'm not. My Rhino Pride Month is not. That's for people with huge noses. They have to act like they're okay with it. We're not okay with it. You're not okay with it. There's a cure for it. I just don't want to spend the money. And my only fear is, if you cured my giant nose, what if the doctor messed it up and it got worse? Scares the hell out of me. So, yeah, Rhino Pride Month is not a thing I would run around with flags and stuff. So just say, and it says, what games would you play for disabled pride? Depends on the disabled, doesn't it? Like, I'm not going to do stair climbing events for a lot of them. I think disabled pride comes with a it all depends. But I preferred it when I thought it was gay, because pride is gay and there probably aren't that many disabled gays. I'm sure there are a few, but I don't think there's a load to where they need their own month. But when I see the word disabled people, this is on you. You have to change that. When I see the word pride, I tread lightly because you don't want to step on that and end up losing your job or writing checks to people you don't know.

[Brady]

And awareness should be.

[John]

That's not bad. That's pretty good. Awareness is always safe because that feels like we can ignore it and let them go about their business. You say disabled pride and I think there's going to be a street closed. If I look at it wrong. They're going to report me. And that those pride people get grouchy because you know. But you can honestly. That may be. The only parade I'd ever go to is the disabled Pride parade. There's a bunch of gay disableds running around in boas and they decorate their crutches and their sticks and their chairs with. It would be pretty. It would be pretty awesome. Flamboyant disabled people. I'm all in on that. And I watched the wnba. There's a lot more disabled gays than I thought. Thank you very much. That was my one chance to take a swing at the lady basketball. That checkbook out. It's huge. Trust me. I'm working for free now.

[Brett]

You're gonna have season tickets to the Mercury before this is all said and done.

[John]

That's what I'll work for now. It's true. So it's kind of fun also. And this is the thing I wanted to get to right here. I personally believe that I had quite a hand in this and no one will ever give me credit for it because they would have to admit they knew. I'm pretty sure that I helped stop Photo Radar the way it used to be in this city by making it a very loud media push on this end from the number one show in the city that they don't pay attention to. But it still exists. When I said it was unlawful the way they had a secondary business taking photos of us and saying we'd done something wrong in cahoots with law enforcement to where like if McDonald's agreed to start saying ah, I got jaywalkers and we're taking pictures of them. McDonald's find you and they send out letters. You would never pay that fine if some secondary business finds you. You're not allowed. I'm big on this right now. You're not allowed to be fined. Just willy nilly. Arbitrary fees coming out of the sky just is not right. So you have. They're starting to bring it back. Some new company just popped up and said that they're talking about photo radar and they're on this Campaign now on the news and everything else. And this is one of those moments where you have to start seeing through it. They're talking about the safety and your kids and, oh, it's just. It's. They go to small towns and like, ever since we put these cameras up, we've noticed a massive difference in safety. And Phoenix is. The numbers are coming, blowing them up, where they're like, oh, it's one of the most dangerous major cities for car accidents and everything else. I'm all for the red light running. I'm all for cameras for that. I have no problem with you blowing through a red light and getting your picture taken and at least getting shown. Hey, we caught you. You could have killed someone. That one needs. But if you're just speeding on Lincoln, there's nobody there and some computer takes a picture of you. If you're on the i10 and they've got one set up like they used to have every mile, and they can get you multiple times. If you're not paying attention, you don't even know. And you get all those tickets, by the way. And I know that from having done it on purpose. How many tickets you get? If you're flying down the i10, I'm going like 90. And you get a ticket from the first one, and then a mile and a half later, another one will get you. If a cop pulled you over, you probably wouldn't get that second ticket. You'll get two or three. So I have to start my campaign again, and I'm going to try to talk Larry the king of cupd into starting something where we give away, maybe in conjunction with castle boutique or fascinations, 18 inch veiny penises because it is illegal.

[Brady]

Speed rods.

[John]

Speed rods. That's a good one, Brady. I like that. We'll call it speed rods. And you put a speed rod in front of your face and you. And if this company that takes pictures of you holding a giant wiener, and I know that this was back 12 or 13 years ago, and some of the pictures weren't very clear. Technology with cameras has gotten great. So you're gonna get veins and wrinkles and dots and like this giant dildo that I would encourage you all to hold while you speed. Buy these cameras. It's illegal for the state to disseminate pornography through the mail. And if you've got a big wang out like I do, and I'm proud it's a framed photo in my house, you give it to your neighbor with children preferably, and say, come with me, we're going over to the Paradise Valley courthouse or the Phoenix courthouse, and we're gonna say, did you send this to my house? Cause this isn't even me. I don't know why you're sending me pictures of a guy holding a great big dick, but my kid opened it. And I'm gonna sue you for your city bond. They'll panic like you've never seen in your life because they're not allowed to do that. And if they. And then they'd have to admit, well, it can go to the wrong house. And if it can go to the wrong house, then it is a flawed system, because very rarely does a police officer pull Brady over and Brett gets the ticket. It doesn't happen. But that's what these photo radar things are gonna. They're gonna try to sell you on the idea that it's safer, it's better, it slows people down. It does nothing. It did. There was zero difference in safety. What it does is scared old people into throwing $130 the state's way without ever questioning it. And the reason why is because on the bottom of the paper, they sent you, the company, not the state. The company that sent you something in conjunction with the state said, if you don't pay this, you don't have a driver's license anymore. And that is just simply not true. This is not true. They have to process, serve you. They have to serve you. And they've changed the rules for that, too. So I'll go back on my crusade. Brady, get my stick and my pony. We're gonna knock down some windmill because they're lying about this, and it's starting again, and I don't know what the new company's name is. What was it? Red Box? Red Flex was the original one, right? The new one back is. And all the news is like, oh, that's necessary. No, it is not. Our freeways will flow exactly the same way with or without those cameras. And in the daytime, you don't know when it's taking your picture. And on a freeway, it can only choose, like, a lane or two.

[Brady]

Nothing worse than if you've had it happen before. But catching that flash, sure, After I.

[John]

Like it, you go by, oh, I.

[Brady]

Think I just got it.

[John]

I love it. In fact, this guy's got a good idea. Drive around with a mask on like it's Covid. Excellent. And then you go in and go, I don't know who this is. I think someone stole my car. I'd like to file a complaint. Oh, it's you, isn't it? No, it's some dude in a mask. I'd never wear a mask. Trump 2028 and then you just lose your mind on it. There's ways around this that are huge. How about operation Ramrod? John? Yeah. If I could get the station behind giving away giant dicks, and I don't know that if that's ever been done before.

[Brett]

Why are we stealing promotions from Katie? Kb I mean, this is. Come on.

[John]

Well, you know, we're above that. When. When. Here's my promise to the disabled pride community. Is that when we kill this a second time, which I'm convinced we did it the first time. A second time. We'll give all of our surplus dicks to KDKB to give away at their next parade. None will go to waste.

[Patrick]

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[John]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Those wieners will find homes. And, boy, will they find homes. Dark, hot homes. But yeah, it's. It's time that we. We did this again. That is not. You know, everybody brings up big brother and it's too much. Everybody. Oh, that's big brother. This is. This is insane that you would. That you would adhere to that kind of crap to say that, you know, speeding along a freeway at prove it. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. But you got to go and into the courtroom and have the thing. It's all stacked against you. So you just. This one says the best way to avoid a cam ticket is have your wife drive. They never go over the speed. That's very true. Like, one thing I'm convinced of is that Megan will never get one of these tickets. In fact, the camera. Somebody could draw her. You could have, like a courtroom artist on the side of the freeway drawing her going. We were going. 1. I've never been in an accident. You hit our mailbox. Well, that doesn't count. Okay, how did you hit the mailbox? At the end of the driveway. And you Were pulling in. You hit it on the wrong side. It's still a quandary. It's Neil degrasse Tyson. Could not figure out the physics of how she hit the mailbox with the passenger side. I still don't know how that happened. And I watched it and I don't know how it happened. Did I just hit that? You did. That's your fault. Why? Because you were standing in the driveway. Huh? Yeah. I was trying to pull in and you were in the driveway and you distracted me. You shouldn't have a driver's license. There should be. You know how many other cars and people are out in the one guy in the driveway made you hit a pillar.

[Brett]

Hope that old man got that tractor beam shut off. It was gonna be a short trip.

[John]

Exactly. So I'm on my crusade again. And I'm going to be the only one that does this. For some reason, the media seems to be jumping in on this in a big way. And are they putting.

[Brady]

Oh, I didn't see, like, Are more going up this time?

[John]

Well, I don't know if it's official yet. They're. They're pushing it. And I don't know. There was an. Used to drive up and down the i10. We took. We. Toledo was with me the day I got the. The framed ticket with the big dick in my hand.

[Brett]

So it's. You guys are the big crank in the middle.

[John]

It's just me. And unfortunately, the really good one's black and white, but you still see it. And I am. I was speeding on purpose. I was going like 90 and I'm flying. And I'd hold the dick up right when those cameras. And you'd see the little thing shutter. Just laugh. It's fun to do. By the way, if you got an open freeway in some time. Grab a dick and hang on. It's. It's. I'm telling you.

[Brett]

It'll just be the new promo from David Lee.

[John]

Grab a ticket hanger. Camel Country 108.

[Brett]

Is this the same dick that was on the side of Brady's car when he took it out of the parking lot?

[John]

18 inches. We had purpose. We stuck it to Brady's car and he didn't see it and he drove away. And as it's flopping around, I'm like, that thing's got some weight on it. At speed would actually kill a man.

[Brady]

I assaulted the town of Guadalupe.

[John]

Yeah, we had. We called and ready to pull over. We were gonna let you go, but we had to go. That was the same day we had to go all the way to Peoria, and Brady was the first one. We watched him pull out of the parking lot and he didn't see it. I mean, we adjusted his side mirror so he couldn't ever look. I went to great lengths of sticking that to his car. It was awesome. And then. But that thing donging out as he drove away. First off, we couldn't stop laughing long enough to call you immediately. You got a mile away before, like, okay, okay, somebody call. And the best part of that phone call was, Brady, you need to pull over. What for? You can't see it, but on the side back quarter panel of your, you've got an 18 inch dick stuck to the side of your car. And it's large. You guys are slapjags. That's the best he had. Slapjags really put us in our place. And then he pulled over at the gas station. Come on. So we got hold of it when we went to Peoria. And that was when I came up with my brilliant plan of ending photo radar that day. And I did it. My neighbor in Arcadia took his young son to the Paradise Valley courthouse and said, I got this in the mail today. What is this? The photo radar. This is not me. Not my car. And I don't know what that is. Oh, the lady behind the counter. And my son opened it and this toe headed little boy standing there. It was great. Best part is my neighbor was a tall, handsome version of me. Shaved head, tall guy, great. More than happy to do it. And then suddenly, Rover had to go to the city. We went to Phoenix. He and I went to Phoenix. Paradise Valley was the one. I went with my sovereign citizen guy who I thought might get us arrested. He was a sovereign citizen of the United States and he announced it to everyone who asked and then did a commercial code. I'm a sovereign citizen of these United States and I hold blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, into the universe UCC 1215. And I'm like, oh my God, he better know his stuff. And he went to Paradise Valley and told him, you're disseminating porn through the. Through the mail, and that's illegal. And your city bond is $34 million and I will have it. Poor old lady at the counter has no idea. Why am I looking at a picture of a guy holding a dick? This isn't what I signed up for. So KUPD's, we should call it the big Dick giveaway. We'll just put Toledo's face on it. Oh, there you go. And that way we get you can do whatever you want with it, but it is not because I don't know if I'm gonna take John's advice on traffic tickets anymore. I'm an HOV lane bandit, and last week I got my first HOV lane ticket. Might have been my fault because I passed a motorcycle cop. Well, there. Yeah, you're an idiot. That's your fault. Thought police didn't have jurisdiction on the freeway when they're on motorcycles. Well, that's your fault. Oh, dummy. Police always have jurisdiction. You know, you never see cops on motor chips. Was all about motorcycles on the freeway. You never see motorcycle cops just shaking their fist. Why you not my jurisdiction. There's punch.

[Brett]

Step on it.

[John]

He can't pull us over. He's a motorcycle cop on the freeway. Those are the ones they want on the freeway. They're faster. Dumb. That's just silly. Anyway, I will stop this again and I'll do it. You guys can. You guys can king me later, but I'm for this. Brady, would you ever hold the dick up and drive fast doing your Kirby to do it? She's driving now.

[Brady]

Yeah. She wouldn't do it.

[John]

I wouldn't. You wouldn't let her do it? You'd rather pay the fine?

[Brady]

No, just rebuild Aware again. It's like in the past. You just knew where they were. Yeah, but that helped.

[John]

No, it. It's. There's the problem as people speed and slow down. It speed and slow down. It just disrupts the flow of traffic to have these cameras. It's. It actually makes you an idiot driver that you'll be going, oh, crap, there's a thing. And then everybody breaks or somebody does something abrupt. It. It's dumb. It's a terrible idea.

[Brady]

You know, it's. Then it's a slight laziness factor.

[John]

What do you mean? You won't pick up your own.

[Brady]

No, you hold it up and do it. And then you get sent to you. Now you got to go down there.

[John]

No, you don't. And say, not until they serve you. Just make sure that all your pictures.

[Brady]

Are shot down the pass.

[John]

But always have a dick in the picture just in case they serve you, because they won't. The city will look at that and go, don't do it. Don't do it. This guy says, in today's age, someone will be suing pressing charges for pics of dicks in their mail. So let them do it. Give some money back to the state. We already pay so much in taxes. It's true. Just another way to fleece the elderly and scare them into giving more of their money.

[Brady]

Frustrating that the fact that I don't know if it, you know, like you said, the research shows. Does it improve?

[John]

Look, I can tell you right now, the research that you do to say it improves it. You'll find it. The research you do that says it sucks, you'll find it.

[Brady]

There's no light running is.

[John]

Has it done anything?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John]

Nobody knows. But I guarantee you there's certain people that'll say it has. Certain people that say it hasn't. There's no definitive answer there. But I do know we are according to.

[Brady]

I've always heard that we are, you.

[John]

Know, one of the leaders, awesome at it. Because all our roads are straight. We just get going and we lose it for a second and we try to gun lights because they're straight. You can. There's no like turns or weird stuff. They don't run red lights. I guarantee you at that weird thing at McDowell and 19th and Van Buren, that six way stop, nobody's running red.

[Brady]

Lights to go on a green light.

[John]

Hate that thing. I don't know where I am. I've lived in this city for 100 years.

[Brady]

Whoa, which way am I going?

[John]

I get on that thing and I almost start crying. I'm like, ah, I need to be on that road. What lane do I need to be in to go there?

[Brett]

The angled one taking grand anywhere FC up.

[John]

Oh, it's six stops. There's a stick and there's a fifth thing. And like no railroad tracks and everything. I don't know. I love roundabouts. Those make sense to me. I like four way stops. Those are second best. This six way thing, if you want to talk about somebody being cautious, watch me at a six way stop. I'll sit through a light just to watch everybody else get. It's like double Dutch. Let's just see how this goes and then I'll join in later. But no camera's necessary there because people will pay attention because it's confusing. When it's straight shots, we run stuff. But I'm going to, I'm going to stop this again. I will make it my pledge to you that this photo radar thing is no good. No good unless they take all the money from photo radar, all of it, and use it to train and hire more police officers. So it'll go away. Its objective is to end it. Then we'll go, then we can run with that. But they're not doing that. This is essentially saying we're undermanned and we're gonna stop trying. Nowhere worse than Lincoln Road. They've got, like, a weird computer set up. You know what else is another thing? They've got a truck that sits there 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

[Brady]

Yeah. They don't use the minivan thing.

[John]

Yeah, they got two minivans on Lincoln, one on McDonald's. So within like a mile, there's three. And they're just parked. And I'm like, isn't that kind of a waste of money to have a truck that could be used?

[Brady]

Just when did they pack that up? When does it get a break?

[John]

I've never seen it. Not there. Oh, that one dude had, man. He. My sovereign citizen went in there with his sovereign citizen nonsense and demanded that the computer that flashed the ticket be calibrated in front of him. And I'm like, you don't even know what that would look like. They could just come in and tinker with it and be like, we're doing it. He goes, yeah, but it puts them out. They're just gonna throw this away. If enough of us do this, this goes away. I agree that this needs to end. If you don't catch me, it doesn't count. I'm not gonna sit here and take pictures of Brady and then give them to the police. And they're like, it's enough for me. Let's find him. Like, huh? You imagine that if I didn't like how you pulled into the parking lot and I took some photos of you. I'm like, this is illegal. He makes a left hand turn here every day. It's illegal. I took photos and I brought it to the city and they find you. It's not a citizen's arrest. There's no arrest. It's a citizen being an asshole. And then I just go. And then. And then the state would be like, you're out of your mind. You're taking photos of a guy. We can't prove this, but for some reason, this company can. Oh, you got me going now. First day back.

[Brady]

The thing that got me too, with the Red Flex was the amount of money that they got.

[John]

Oh, they got a ton.

[Brady]

They got like a third.

[John]

What does this one mean? Says, guys, not to beat a dead horse, but sounds like something a dumb broad would say, right?

[Brett]

Basically talking about the driving around a big dick.

[John]

Oh, yeah, well, you know, or just whip it out there, get a little roadie action going or something like that. Have the wife participate, make sure that you've got something pornographic and awful happening in Your car right around those traffic jams. You know what'll end it? If you could talk your grandparents into it. If you could talk grandma into driving around with one of those big floppy pancakes laying over the top of the steering wheel. The state would be like, we're gonna end this. We don't wanna. We don't need to. If we start showing them things they don't wanna see. And trust me, most of us, nobody wants to see our naked. Start driving around like Bo and Luke with our shirts off. They're gonna stop this whole photo campaign. But we need to. I don't know if we do. We still have a relationship with folks at Fascinations. We're gonna need 3,000 giant dicks.

[Brett]

Sales department's gonna be all over that.

[John]

I'm sure of it. Our big. Our big giveaway. That's what we should do. A Slump Buster Big Dick super drive. See who can get the most dicks down in sales.

[Brett]

I can't imagine Susan calling the meeting for that.

[John]

Why? She has a Slump Buster sale. It's the same thing. This one says. You think? Rico Blaze flashes his third arm to the camera as he's passing by and asks the judge for a framed picture. Rico Blaze goes by. Oh, no. All right. Officer Rico Blaze, sir. Nuts a lot up in this house. How you doing, Bert?

[Brett]

How you doing, Rico?

[John]

Bird, I gotta tell you something. I met your girl the other day over at that bar she works at. All right. You all got married and I saw the ring. It's cute. But if that girl was mine, Brady, she'd have so many carrots in her hand, she'd be a vegetarian. When you get that photo radar up there, John, talking about big dicks. You gotta buy one. That's adorable. Some of us come equipped. And when I say come equipped, you know what I'm talking about. So Nuts a lot can make it rain inside the car. You want to have the Bellagio on your photo? I'm offering a brand new service. So Nuts A lot will ride for free when these cameras go up and coat you with a milk like honey that you can't even imagine. You're gonna look like Slimer from Ghostbusters. Went by Homburg's morning sickness. Take that over to the city and show them that's me covered in man milk. And I don't think you should be sending that. I'd like to counter the KUPD offer with Rico Speed Rods. Actual size Rico Blaze Dicks that can drive. Because they have their own self awareness. Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

You know what for your freedom.

[John]

Yeah. You know what we should have, too? Fat white women in the front seat. Nobody wants to see them but me. Anyway, so get your pictures, start speeding. Fat white ladies. That's a good. You know what? I can make them speed, Brett. All I have to do is. Hey, fat white lady, come here. And they're flying. All right. Yeah. I heard John mention that he looks like a candy apple. Something on me looks like a candy apple, too, except for it's on a radio tower. I like your idea, Homburg. You white men go out there and buy yourself some giant dicks. Us black guys are gonna save $83. That's right. I know how much they cost. Don't ask how. I just do. All right. So long. There he goes, Rico. Blaze back for no reason. It's been a minute. It has been a minute, sir. Nuts. A lot took a break. Is he still doing videos?

[Brett]

I don't have to look him up. Yeah, he's got nothing else to do right now.

[John]

You go ahead and do that. Another thing over the week that we were off was there's a fan that was banned from Diamondbacks games for the whole year. This has to end. This. This is silly. They. They banned fans for. There's no way this can be implemented. You can't. You can't. Van. Nobody's. Nobody's paying attention. This dude has interfered four different times from his seat in games. So he's reached over, and so by the fourth one, they're like, that's it. No more season tickets. You're out. You can't sit. Who. Which one of those old people is watching you come into the. That knows you. Who's gonna recognize you? You just sit in a different spot. Right?

[Brady]

I mean, if he's not interfering with the outfield. Well, you sit in so many different seats.

[Brett]

There's enough space.

[John]

They say he's banned from Chase Field.

[Brett]

Thank you.

[John]

Try. Try to ban me from Chase Field. I remember I got banned from the Comic Con because I was making fun of the nerds, and they said, you're banned. And I went back the next day, and I'm like, it's a costume party, you dumb. How are you gonna find me banning me from Halloween now? You're not allowed to do it. How will you know? We won't. We were hoping you wouldn't say that. So this guy's been banned. He's an idiot. Quit touching the ball. Dave McCaskill.

[Brady]

Do they put the photo up?

[John]

Well, one of them, yeah.

[Brett]

It's like the post office they got.

[John]

The wanted signs in the wow lobby. If you see this man, it's like, what are we supposed to rat him out of? Like, that's the guy that shouldn't be here.

[Brady]

He's the guy on the wall.

[John]

How about instead of banning it, he just scoot him back. Diamondback.

[Brett]

Put him in the three hundreds.

[John]

Put him. Yeah, put him. Put him up high for a little bit. So you're allowed in this level only.

[Brett]

Nothing coming up there anyway.

[John]

If we sit. And the only thing you could do is just ban him from the front row. It's the only.

[Brady]

And I mean, that eliminates the whole problem.

[John]

Put him two rows back. He's a season ticket holder. You don't want to piss them off. You have a chat with him going, you've interfered a little too much to be a. We can't trust you courtside here. You got to sit back a few rows. Oh, go. I love Zone. You blew this. This is your fault.

[Brady]

Yeah. I mean, if he is a season ticket holder. If he's not, he is still hard.

[John]

Well, you can't do it.

[Brady]

I mean, if you're just a general fan. Look, and you're like, we can't have.

[John]

You sitting on that line right on your season tickets. It says knock it off. Yeah. All over the place. Knock it off. We have the right to take this from you at any given time. If you act like a dick, you know, no refund, you lose your tickets. And I was worried about that when I brought my one friend to a basketball game for. For the Suns and he was on Molly or something, I didn't know it. And he started to try to touch the people in front of us and then used, like, two racial slurs. So we left. And I'm like, I'm gonna. I'm lose my seat. I knew that those were the rules. Like, I followed the protocol. I didn't want to be out the money, but to have them come up and go, all right, you and you, you're banned from the arena. You can't. Nobody's. Nobody's implementing this. There are no wanted posters. You can't. There's. It's an artificial thing. And the news, like, he's been banned for the whole year. But he did. He did keep touching baseballs. And that's dumb. Didn't we learn from bartman at all 23 years ago now, 22. Didn't Bartman teach us? Keep your hands in. If you go back and watch the Steve Baartman play, he's got enough balls there behind him. Oh, my God. The guy's stolen baseball after baseball. But the Bartman play. Everybody's like. Everybody was reaching over. No, they weren't. Bartman was. He was the only one that got involved. The other guy pulled his hands back. Don't reach over. You have your line. And that's the thing that's going to just. And there's the other thing. Is that Diamondbacks move the fence in a foot and a half, put a barrier. You know what I mean? Make it so we can't reach the players. It's not that important anymore. But this idiot to be good.

[Brady]

If him. Made him wore a bracelet or something, you know, that had the invisible fence. They get zapped. If they reached over.

[John]

That would. That would be awesome. And I would love to watch that. Because if I was his friend, I'd be putting his hand in that invisible line constant. Oh, I'd be electrocuting him. Like, you know, Percy and Green Mile. But yeah, he's on TV now. He's like, how are you, dude? I'm gonna take that guy to a bet. If you're listening right now, Dave McCaskill, I'd like to invite you to a ball game. I'm taking you to a ball game. And we're gonna sit in seats that aren't up close so you can behave like a normal human being. Only reason I want to do that is to watch those old people going, you're the guy that's banned. Like, yeah. And what the are you gonna do about it? Gladys, we're in.

[Brett]

Don't we have that Hubbard suite coming up here soon? We can just bring him with us.

[John]

I don't know if I'm gonna be allowed in there right now. It's kind of something that they asked me to be part of, and I'm not sure I'm. He likes me here, so we'll see. You guys can go and take Dave McCaskill in my place. I think that'll work out nicely. Yeah, but it was a home run ball in the eighth. And if it was a interference, then it wouldn't have been a home run ball. So you have to kind of judge all that. Dave. Mike. Dave McCaskill. I'd like to take you to a ballgame. Drinks, food, on me. I'd like to take Mr. McCaskill just to see this Diamondback security crack staff in action of what they would do if Dave tried to get back in there.

[Brady]

Maybe we could even buy a message for the jumbo crowd.

[John]

Welcome, Dave McCaskill.

[Brady]

Happy birthday.

[John]

We do one of those tweets of him and I sitting next to each other. Look who I'm with. Yeah. And he's just reaching over a fence because he can't stop himself.

[Brett]

That's brilliant.

[John]

He might be an idiot. I don't know Dave McCaskill at all. But I think that would be pretty fun because I don't see any implementation of banning someone from a stadium ever. Then they just do that with something else, too. They ban some. Yeah. There's another guy that interfered, but it wasn't even interfering. He did something dumb.

[Brett]

Well, the White Sox guy got banned from all stages.

[John]

That's right. What was he doing?

[Brett]

I forgot he was Austin Catal's.

[John]

That's right, because he. He started to say horrible things about his family and made a man cry. I'd like to invite him to a ball game, too, just. And not because I think he's a good person. I just want to see the crack staff.

[Brady]

The band works.

[John]

Yeah. It doesn't work banning things when you have. You have to have a structure for it, like a band. No, that's just the honor system. Yeah.

[Brett]

I think you can get them by the Walmart greeters that are working at.

[John]

The D Backs game. Never once gone into a ball game and thought, man, look at the go getters they've got on the front lines here. Those lines last forever because they can't figure out the biffies that touch your phone. Yours isn't working, Mike. No, you're not working. I have my ticket. You can see it.

[Brady]

I want to take the guy that's been banned all the ballparks and just set up a table in the lobby for autographs.

[John]

Banned in all 32. Has there been a guy who's been banned from all of them?

[Brett]

Yeah, that guy from the White Sox.

[John]

Game for all the games. Oh, I thought it was just Chicago.

[Brady]

The entire mlb.

[John]

What's his name? Let's fly him out here. I'll pay for the tickets. We'll get a ticket out here and we'll have him sit down. The only person that might actually see this and hate it is Cattel Marte. He might look and go, that's that dick that made me cry.

[Brady]

Can you imagine if it'd be interesting to see if you could point him out?

[John]

You couldn't. Who at the Arizona Diamondbacks knows that guy's faith?

[Brady]

Well, I'm saying, even if for Cattell, if he could point him.

[John]

This guy says, I was banned for life from Target on Gilbert and the 202 for stealing headphones back in high school. I've been back there a hundred times. Yeah, they're all new employees there. You would. You should hope that Target has some sort of a turnover from high school to. When you're in your 30s and 40s, you go back and see the same people. Like, no, no. Oh my God. When are you gonna leave this job? I'm a target for life guy. I'm here forever. I didn't want my eyes on you.

[Brady]

And what happened on the band, maybe that's how it keeps out. Like if you are found in. In there, there's a huge fine.

[John]

Based on what? Yeah. Where's the legality? I don't know.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying.

[John]

How do they. You can't. Again, you cannot turn them away. Let me say this for everybody. Listen, you can't just randomly find people out of the blue.

[Brett]

You can't.

[John]

No.

[Brett]

You sure?

[John]

No, I know first. I know for a fact. Okay. Can't be done. Oops, wrong button. Yeah, it can't be done. So if the d, like. All right, that's it. You're fine. Don't pay it. What are they going to do? They have. They're not an authority to anything. They just ask you to leave. That's all they can do is ask you to leave. And if you start pitching a fit, you'd be arrested. I don't know if the dude, when he left the ballpark the last time, signed some papers that said, you can be arrested for this.

[Brady]

Right?

[John]

That's different.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying.

[John]

If he agreed to anything, then it's on him. But if they just said, all right, you're out and you're banned forever. And then they kicked him in the butt like a cartoon. Get out of here. Boing doing down the sidewalk. We never want to see your face again. You're banned. All right. The next day, I'd have gone back the next day on principal. Like, I did the Comic Con with Larry. Next day, that's it. You're banned. Why? You were making fun of it. I'm like, it's something to make fun of. I interviewed Randy the Macho Man Savage six times. They were all six different people. I mean, yeah, that's hilarious. I'm gonna make fun of that. You're not allowed in here. It's a safe place. Alright, so I'm. I'm banned forever. Okay, see you tomorrow.

[Brady]

Sign this.

[John]

How will? How? And I even said, how will you know I'm there? Oh, will. No, I don't think you will. I went in there, no mask, no nothing. Just walked around, totally fine. Next day, bands are for people who are kind of pussies to pat themselves on the back like they got some sort of. Oh, I got it done. That's different. You could be banned from something.

[Brady]

But unless I don't disagree with the direnback guy. Interfering four times.

[John]

That's a lot of interfering. The guy's a dick. But just scoot him back. It's an easy solution. Just go, hey, we love your passion, but you can't control yourself. We're gonna have to move you back five rows. I want to sit up front. No. You burn that bridge. We have to put a. Or put him in that seat again. And then put, like, a big box around him, like a big clear box. He's not. And he tries to reach for something, he just smashes his hand into the plate. Ow. See? You're gonna learn eventually. Or have a guy that sits there at the stairs who works for the Diamondbacks shock him every time he reaches over the fence. But if he reaches four times, you're asking for it. But, Mr. McCaskill, I'd like to take you to a ball game. We've got company seats. We got that suite. I think that's the 23rd.

[Brett]

Something like that.

[John]

Yeah. Go see the astros. They hung 18 on the doors the other day.

[Brett]

Sure. Trip was about to hang himself.

[John]

No, I'm pretty sure that was it. Yeah. But. Yeah, the. We'll take Dave McCaskill. That'll be fun. So, open invite Dave McCaskill. You've got one ticket waiting for you to any Diamondback game you want to go to. All you got to do is contact me. Holmberg08kupd.com let's test this band, Dave. I need to see some paperwork, and I can't get in trouble for taking the band guy. All I have to do is go. He didn't tell me. Wait a minute. You're banned from the stadium? It's kind of badass, but if you're interfering with baseball, you're just a dick. Four times. That's a lot. In the outfield, too. That dude was. He's hungry for baseball, and he's like a Hungry hippo. They just come to him.

[Brady]

The whole reason they got the seats.

[John]

I got banned from the Sears at Fiesta Mall because me and my friend Mark Stabbings were screwing around with the elevator. Two floors. And we kept. We found the stop elevator button, and an alarm would go off, and we got a Massive kick out of that. And then the alarm stopped going off. And we would stop it, like, and try to leap out. Like it went before it would get all the way to the bottom and hit us. And we figured out this elevator was faulty in like a hundred directions. The doors would still open whether it had landed or not. And we were crawling out of there, flopping around. And then some guy just grabbed my shirt. And he just like. Regular guy dressed like Brett. But he was evidently Sears security. Good gig, honey. We're on easy street now. I just got a gig at Sears. I'm Sears security now.

[Brady]

When you got caught. Tears.

[John]

Oh, horrified. Horrified.

[Brady]

Cried.

[John]

On the verge. On the verge. I cried later, but at the time, Mark was still running. And I think I actually said the phrase, give yourself up, man. I thought. And I think. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure I treated it like we got caught robbing a bank. But we were just breaking the elevator. They were furious. Morning sickness. Upd Homburg's morning sickness. And they didn't. You know, the guy said, you're banned from this Sears for life. I think we were back to that day. I don't. I think we actually walked past that guy a couple more times. Like, what's he gonna do? Yeah, what? We were in the parking lot. Remember Sears was down in that little gully. So you go. We're walking around like we had to go home. And I'm like, there's a whole rest of the mall. We can avoid the Sears. So we're like, wonder if we went and we walked back through the Sears to get to the mall and nothing happened.

[Brady]

Hung out at Merry Go Round.

[John]

I think we. I think I did, now that I'm remembering. I don't know. Merry Go Round was around, going to Aladdin's Castle. We went to Aladdin's Castle. I kind of remember almost crying. I don't think I. I didn't sob, which is rare. I normally in those situations when authority.

[Brady]

I thought there was one of them. You got.

[John]

Oh, there's plenty of times I cried when I got yelled at. That one. I. I got emotional, but I wasn't sobbing. I was just trying to get Mark to give himself up. We were just getting in more trouble because he had me by the shirt and he's reaching for Mark. And Mark was ducking and dodging real good. And at the time, I was just a boy, and Mark had grown into full grown man. So we were in sixth grade, so he was already six feet tall, mustache, had had hair yeah, he's like an Iranian woman. That dude was covered in air. And he's in. And so he's reaching for. But he had to hang on to me. And I was squirrely, but I had given up. I kind of. I gave up. Right.

[Brett]

Dan was gonna get a hold of you when he got home.

[John]

That was my biggest fear. Oh, my shirt. Mr. Didn't call. He didn't. I did scream because he was twisting up my shirt. Was a Varnay tank top. Oh, man.

[Brady]

You don't mess with that at the time. Expensive.

[John]

That wasn't cheap. It was one of the good ones, too, with just the logo. Didn't have any of the nonsense like, you know, the dripping or the acid.

[Brett]

Yeah, OP Cord shorts.

[John]

Yeah, I had that on, too. More than likely. I don't remember my short selection that day, but I. Probably corduroy. But bottom line was, I was banned from the Sears that day. And even at age 12, I looked.

[Brady]

I got a kid in the tank top messing with the elevators.

[John]

The little girl in a tank top and his great big abductor. I think they were trying to rape him in the elevator. Anyway, the big one got away. Let him go. Ban him for life. That's what I was gonna do. You're banned for life. All right, see you in five minutes. And we were 12, and we figured out a way around it. So to Mr. McCaskill, or whatever your name is. 23rd.

[Brady]

You're okay.

[John]

You're okay. We're gonna put you. We're gonna put you where you can do no harm. You know what's gonna be fun? I'll call Studley up there at the ball, and we'll have McCaskill in the booth with. I'll give him a tour. No one will know. Not a soul will be like, aren't you the guy banned. Ah, Stop the game. Turn this stadium around.

[Brady]

Give him the pole with the fishing net over there so he can catch balls.

[Brett]

The Harry Carry Fishing method.

[John]

That's a great idea. It gives him what he loves, interrupting things with stuff he shouldn't have. And also keeps him away from the field of play. It's great. This guy says, I had a former colleague who was at a play at Madison Square Garden. She worked for a company who was in litigation with Madison Square Garden. Her facial recognition found her in the audience and kicked her out. I don't think that's accurate. I'm pretty sure she made a stink or told the wrong person and got kicked out of here. The only one I'd be worried about is the Intuit Dome in Los Angeles, the Clippers place. Because you pay with facial recognition there when you.

[Brady]

You in this, in the little kiosks.

[John]

And no kiosks, everything. There's no checkouts. So you go into the thing, and then if you want, you put your card in a machine and then do a facial recognition. And then you go into, like, the food place, and it's all like a convenience store. And you open one of the doors, take out a Pepsi, whatever, and then you turn and you just look at this thing and it charges you.

[Brett]

They don't got that at Chase. They can barely get the roof open, for God's sake. I mean, come on.

[John]

That's part of their billion dollar enhancement program. Jesus Christ. Brett's right.

[Brady]

Just wait. Just wait.

[John]

Brett's 100% right. So Jesus Fries has people with downs as their greeters and cart chasing. Imagine if they stopped at the door. I would listen to them. They're strong. I don't want to do that.

[Brady]

They're not getting away.

[John]

Also, and this is. This guy's right, too, is like, maybe John and Dave can be on the Kiss cam together. I'd like that. To kiss the band guy. This one says, John Dave MacAskill should have taken your advice and had a dildo in his other hand while he caught those balls. Sure, that's the same. Oh, man. You can't ban him holding the dick. What's the matter with you putting that on the picture? That's your fault. It says at the Cardinals game, if you get kicked out, they make you take a fan code of conduct class before they let you in to renew your season tickets they have your wife buy, put them in a P.O. box. This is so easy to get around this stuff, said Holmberg. The man who started Red Fleck sold that company and started American Traffic Systems, which is the new company the city's trying to use. Same guy. He sold Red Flags because they realized it was a scam, they just changed the name. Now, this one says, my wife had a co worker whose sister works at State Farm Stadium, and she says that their facial recognition cameras are incredibly accurate. All right, then why do we still have crime? When in the world do we still have crime? Just facially scan everybody in the audience, check for warrants, and then start scooting people out of there. I don't believe that they would. I don't. Maybe they do. But somebody would have to know you, and then the facial recognition thing would get turned on. Just you. But if they're just scanning the Crowd willy nilly.

[Brady]

It happens every game. They scan the crowd. The entire crowd.

[John]

Then there's rapists and murderers and people wanted for things. Why aren't they just arresting folks like crazy?

[Brady]

You get a ton of people.

[Brett]

That's the west side you imagine.

[Brady]

I mean, come on, these 200 arrests.

[John]

I think they have facial recognition software, but they have to implement it on you. You know, no alarms are going off if Brady walks in. He's got like 20 tickets he hasn't paid for, all right? That guy can't watch a Cardinals game today. They want people in the seats to.

[Brady]

Send him an ad at the snack area, right?

[John]

Yeah. He hasn't bought anything. His facial recognition said Brady was going to buy at least four Dippin Dots cups today. Maybe they have it. But if they do and it's that accurate, we could end crime. Why wouldn't we do that? Everybody gets facially recognized and then they just scoop out the bad guy. I'm not so sure I believe that. And we'll find out if the Diamondbacks have incredible Mission Impossible technology in the stadium when I take Dave MacAskill out for a drink and a tour and maybe some time in the booth to meet the guys broadcasting. And only thing is, when I introduce you to Bob Renlee and Steve Perthune, you have to say, hey, Dave McCaskill, banned for life. And see what they do about it, because they're not even going to care. Stop with these fake, like, proclamations. Silly. Ban me from a ballpark. Challenging me. I'm getting back in there. I'll grow a mustache. You won't know. I'll draw on wacky eyebrows or I'll wear Mr. Orange's thing. If Mr. Orange went back to a Sons game, no one would know the dude was in disguise the whole time. I don't think he's getting out of jail anytime soon for that old kiddie porn thing. But still banned. Bert, what do you got on the big board of Musical Tree? All right, wake up.

[Brett]

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[John]

Go by the way Scott Haynes makes a great point going back to the Orlando Bloom Katy Perry thing. Says Orlando Bloom was invited to the Bezos Sanchez wedding in Italy. Katy Perry wasn't. And she was on the rocket with Lauren Sanchez.

[Brady]

Interesting.

[John]

Now, maybe the invite came before anybody knew they were going to split up. But wouldn't that have been your.

[Brady]

I gotta believe that. They were.

[John]

They were. They were together. Only one went. Wouldn't your space.

[Brady]

Fellow astronaut.

[John]

Yeah, your fellow astronaut. Wouldn't they like. No, Orlando, you can't go. That's Katie's invite.

[Brett]

Now, did Gail and all the rest of them go that were in that rocket?

[John]

Gail and Oprah were there.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John]

Without Stedman?

[Brett]

He was busy.

[John]

Well, his wife's a lesbian. No one likes to say that, but that's gotta be the. You don't go that. It's like if Brady and I were seen everywhere. It's like, oh, yeah, they're married, but they're always together. Like going to weddings together, just us. That's gay. We're automatically gay. Maybe we're not acting on it, but we're gay. Brady and I are gonna go to the base of weddings. Try telling Ronnie that John and I are gonna hit that Bezos Sanchez wedding. Well, I'd like to go. No, he's my date. You're gay then.

[Brett]

Did Orlando get the Orlando and guest invite then, or what?

[John]

Plus one. Yeah, but Katie didn't.

[Brady]

No. And the first time she got there.

[Brett]

It was her singing that got her banned.

[John]

Yeah, then he started boning everybody.

[Brady]

She went out in the. With her hairdresser.

[John]

Sanchez's hairdresser. Oh. Oh, Katy Perry. Oh, boy.

[Brett]

I wonder what she looks like.

[Brady]

Pretty good. They. They had a picture of him trolling the streets of Venice.

[John]

I never understood the Katy Perry thing. All I see is Elijah Wood. So it's the same face.

[Brady]

I think he got wind of that.

[John]

He thinks John's right. Yeah.

[Brett]

You think maybe that's a dude in that one?

[John]

Well, that's Katy Perry.

[Brett]

Yeah, I know, but I put her hairdresser. I don't know her name.

[Brady]

Just say Orlando Bloom hairdresser.

[John]

Yeah, I'd like to see that, but, yeah, that's an interesting take there because she was in space with one of the people getting married and invited by the other guy getting married. So the two people getting married ask Katy Perry, not Orlando Bloom. She's all right.

[Brett]

I don't know if that's her.

[John]

I mean, he's just hogging everything right now because he's good for him. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah, that Was her.

[John]

He's. He's free of Astronaut Jones, so he can do whatever he wants. So that's how horrible. She had to be Katy Perry invited to go to space by Jeff Bezos and said, my wife will go too. Oh, that's great. And then they get married and Katie can't go, but her husband can.

[Brady]

No one's in. None of them have really said any of the tabloids.

[John]

Yeah. Unless it was an agreement between Orlando and Katie. But you think Katie would have precedent there, having had been out of the atmosphere with one of the two people getting married. I think once you share.

[Brady]

Maybe that was the fallout that initially Orlando was invited with the girls on the Blue Origins. And it was like, I don't know. Gonna send Katie.

[John]

Try to hose them all. Yeah. Because you had to have Lady Weekend. I remember Katie didn't even look out the window. She just sang to the camera and picked daisies. Idiot. This one, I thought she couldn't be more pretentious and annoying. I'm an Orlando Bloom fan. I would love to sit down and talk to her. What were you thinking when that ship made it back? Were you happy deep down? Were you like, oh, did it make it? What do you got up there?

[Brett]

A bunch of stuff going on. Detachable penis for the crank on Brady's car. Citizen Dick. Don't touch me. I'm dick for the photo radar. And the big thing this weekend was the Black Sabbath.

[John]

Ozzy, is it? Farewell and leave it to another broad to ruin that. Ozzy's final show, 60 Years in Rock. What's the headline? Kelly Osborne gets engaged. She got married and they're like. She stole the headline from her dad's career by being, you know, have your moment some other time. Exactly. And the dude from Slipknot should have known better. Yeah. You don't do that at Ozzy's last show. That just remains Oz. That's his thing. That's Ozzy's day. Maybe you did it the day after. But you keep it quiet. You don't tell the press. So they start asking Kelly Osborne questions. You haven't accomplished anything.

[Brett]

So we got Hole in the sky from Sabbath. The song Black Sabbath. Her first song. Mr. Tinker Train, Miracle Man. Cool thing was Lamb of God. Broke out a cover of Children of the Grave there, and they released it.

[John]

Oh.

[Brett]

So they played on the bill too. So it's kind of.

[John]

This is live. No, this is studio. All right, let's do that.

[Brett]

All right, let me pull it up here.

[John]

Little tribute to Ozzy on his Way out there.

[Brady]

And happy birthday. Sinister Gates.

[John]

Is it Sinister Gates from Avenge Sevenfold today. Stupid name, but great band. Very, very. Tried to get married. I think I got married this weekend.

[Brady]

Congratulations.

[John]

I read the headlines. I'm not sure what just happened, but my big day. All I saw was that Kelly Osborne got the headlines.

[Brady]

When is your final show?

[John]

I think it. I think we have another one coming up. We're gonna start a show. This last show went so well, Brady. We're going to tour.

[Brady]

It sounds good.

[John]

The final show forever. As it's got a never ending perpetual show. Thanks, Kelly. I got married, dad. When did you do that, love? During your final performance so I could have some headlines. He's so much like your mother. You want all the credit for everything. Did you see any of the footage of Ozzy? Yeah, I was. I didn't.

[Brady]

The vocals were strong.

[Brett]

You can see how much he wanted to get up out of that chair, though.

[John]

Yeah, it was. It was. That's not easy to watch. No, I watched a few minutes of it like. All right, I get it. I wouldn't have been happy with that.

[Brett]

The thing that. I mean, Sabbath only did five songs. I mean, it's their big farewell and they only did five songs.

[John]

Well, they're all a hundred.

[Brett]

I know, but still.

[John]

I don't want to watch hundred years old men doing stuff. Stones are still doing it. I don't know how that's. There's something special going on there. And I still don't really want to watch them do that. No. Hey, it's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Patrick]

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