07-10-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: July 10, 2025 Episode Summary

Published on July 10, 2025

Hosts:

• John Holmberg
• Brady Bogan
• Bret Vesely
• Dick Toledo

Guests:

• Aafion Crockett
• Dale Hellestray

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1. Welcome and Community Announcements

The show kicks off with John Holmberg providing updates on local comedy venues, noting that three major spots will be closed on July 4th. He highlights upcoming performances by Francisco Ramos, John Heffron, and others at various improv theaters.

John Holmberg [00:00]: "It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week."

2. Sophie Cunningham and Jimmy Fallon Controversy

A heated discussion ensues around reports of a fight between Sophie Cunningham and Jimmy Fallon. John Holmberg expresses skepticism, suggesting the incident might be staged and criticizes Cunningham's actions both on and off the WNBA stage.

John Holmberg [02:07]: "She's just a hot chick while she was here, right?"

3. Maryvale Baby Shooting Incident

The hosts delve into a brief news segment about a baby being shot in Maryvale. John Holmberg humorously trivializes the incident while contrasting it with local teen violence in Gilbert, Arizona. The conversation touches on community safety and the perceived lack of serious response from authorities.

John Holmberg [03:50]: "A baby in Maryvale was shot. And they're kind of like, all right, I got to go to work."

4. Critique of Homeowners Associations (HOAs)

John Holmberg launches into a critical analysis of HOAs, branding them as predatory and ineffective. He recounts an anecdote about an HOA member handing out free water, which he interprets as suspicious behavior likely linked to ulterior motives.

John Holmberg [12:48]: "I have a bone to pick with that morning show."

5. Operation Hydration: Community Support Initiative

The show highlights Operation Hydration, an initiative aimed at providing water to those in need. Brett reports from the field, detailing substantial donations from local businesses like Winston Water Cooler and Mobile Detailing Company Kane.

John Holmberg [43:35]: "So, yeah, we have an active audience who participates with us."

6. AI-Generated Content and Social Media Risks

A segment discusses the rise of AI-generated images and misinformation. John Holmberg references an incident involving Michael Rapaport sharing a fake Auschwitz prisoner image, emphasizing the dangers of AI in spreading false narratives.

John Holmberg [67:16]: "We're all going to hell for this thing. This AI Thing's got us."

7. Sports Commentary: Phoenix Suns and Devin Booker

The hosts shift focus to sports, particularly critiquing the Phoenix Suns' strategic decisions. John Holmberg condemns Devin Booker's two-year contract extension, arguing it signifies a lack of ambition within the team.

John Holmberg [165:48]: "They are far from being contenders."

8. Callers' Interactions: Relationship Advice

Interactive segments feature callers seeking relationship advice. Aafion Crockett adopts a satirical role, offering blunt and controversial guidance to listeners struggling with personal relationships.

Aafion Crockett [127:22]: "There's a lady who called us the other day, and she said..."

9. Highlight on Local Events and Donations

Back to community support, John Holmberg thanks individuals like Antonio from Arizona for significant donations and encourages continued participation in Operation Hydration.

John Holmberg [81:03]: "We got people dropping stuff off right now here at the station. Brett, these guys have dropped off 16 cases of water."

10. Comedy and Impressions with Aafion Crockett

Aafion Crockett showcases his talent with various impressions, including Chris Rock and Maya Angelou, adding humor and entertainment to the show.

Aafion Crockett [121:10]: "I've done my job."

11. Final Remarks and Encouragement

The episode concludes with John Holmberg reiterating the success of Operation Hydration and expressing gratitude towards supporters. The hosts encourage listeners to continue their community efforts and tease upcoming segments.

John Holmberg [87:41]: "This is a beautiful thing. Thanks."

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [00:00]: "It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week."
• John Holmberg [02:07]: "She's just a hot chick while she was here, right?"
• John Holmberg [03:50]: "A baby in Maryvale was shot. And they're kind of like, all right, I got to go to work."
• John Holmberg [12:48]: "I have a bone to pick with that morning show."
• John Holmberg [43:35]: "So, yeah, we have an active audience who participates with us."
• John Holmberg [67:16]: "We're all going to hell for this thing. This AI Thing's got us."
• John Holmberg [165:48]: "They are far from being contenders."
• Aafion Crockett [127:22]: "There's a lady who called us the other day, and she said..."
• John Holmberg [81:03]: "We got people dropping stuff off right now here at the station. Brett, these guys have dropped off 16 cases of water."
• Aafion Crockett [121:10]: "I've done my job."
• John Holmberg [87:41]: "This is a beautiful thing. Thanks."

---

Conclusion:

The July 10, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD was a blend of community updates, social commentary, and interactive segments. The hosts navigated through topics ranging from local incidents and community initiatives to critiques of broader social issues like HOAs and AI misinformation. Operation Hydration stood out as a significant community effort, garnering substantial support and donations. The episode maintained its characteristic mix of humor, controversy, and candid discussions, ensuring engagement and relatability for its Arizona-based audience.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. All right, HMS Podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. All right, just a Note that the three venues will all be closed on July 4th.

[Brady Bogan]

That's Friday night.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't mean there's a lack of comedy, though, because we have Francisco Ramos coming in on Saturday at Stand Up.

[Brady Bogan]

Live run on Hirshberg and Camp Bertrand.

[John Holmberg]

Thursday, Saturday, Sunday at Tempe Improv.

[Brady Bogan]

And John Heffron is going to be at the Desert Ridge Improv on Thursday.

[John Holmberg]

Saturday, Saturday and Sunday as well.

[Brady Bogan]

For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com.

[Aafion Crockett]

Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You'Ve been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday 5. 45. Good morning. Sick. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. We're off and running, and I'm already scrambling for. I've got several emails out of nowhere, people telling me that Sophie Cunningham and Jimmy Fallon got into a fight. I'm trying to find it like they got into a real fight on the show. She tweeted out. I found this as a Don't invite me on your show to speak and then expect me to smile through the censorship. You kind of agreed to the parameters of it, didn't you, Spicy? I mean, I'm all on spicy's side. I, I, I have no problem whatever Jimmy Fallon. If it was bashing the wnba, he was wrong. Jimmy Fallon. You don't talk to Sophie Cunningham like that, Will. We'll get more on that as the story develops. But finally, Jimmy Fallon's show is interesting.

[Dale Hellestray]

They're trying everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and it wouldn't surprise me if this was all staged, that Sophie is now known as an enforcer. Where? Here. She never stood up for any of the lesbians on her team. And then she went to Indiana and stood up for Caitlin Clark once, and suddenly she's got a title of enforcer. She was just a hot chick while she was here, right?

[Dale Hellestray]

Enforcer?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I guess, yeah. I mean, she's not the toughest girl in the WNBA on the map. That's all it took. 600,000. Excuse me, 600,000 different people found Sophie Cunningham on social media. She added 600,000 people. Boom. Just because she wrestled a girl poorly for. So for Caitlyn Clark. And here she had. Diana Tausi never defended her once. She had, I don't know, the rest of the team, but she had other lesbians she could have fought for here. Never once did it. And just. That's the key. And it goes back to what we were talking about yesterday with Gilbert. Blonde chicks with long hair wrestling each other is newsworthy and it's fun to watch no matter what.

[Dale Hellestray]

So wonder how many followers any of those girls picked up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they got a few. They got a couple, by the way. Also, breaking news. Hey, Gilbert. Moms listen to this and then shush about how tough your town is. Shush it. Shush. Shush. Listen. I know. Shush. A baby in Maryvale got shot yesterday. It's on the news for, like, half a second. Did you hear what I just said? I'm going to repeat, a baby was shot by a gun in Maryvale yesterday. The story's about two lines long, and it says, we'll figure it out. When we figure it out. You're not going to hear another thing about it. And guess what? The baby lived. The parents aren't freaking out on the news. They're not losing it, having town hall meetings. I'm going to say it one more time. This phrase, kind of important. A baby in Maryvale was shot. And they're kind of like, all right, I got to go to work. Two blonde girls at the In N Out get into a fight at Gilbert, and they want to have the police chief on tv.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's got the rest of the story. A baby going to work got shot on his way to work.

[John Holmberg]

You may tell you this. The baby who was taking care of his kids in Maryvale doing nothing more, also shot back and killed the guy who shot at him first. The other baby. That's right. A baby was shot in Maryvale. I didn't see the Maryvale. Does Maryvale have a police chief? They're probably.

[Dale Hellestray]

It rotates.

[John Holmberg]

Your baby got shot? Yeah. Yeah. You gonna do something about that? Did you see the dude what done it?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

What'd you expect me to do, man? Well, look, you got a pack of smokes. You were the one watching the baby. How am I. I wasn't even here. Are you his father? Excuse me, sir, are you his father? Answer the question. I know you hate this question, but are you the father? And, yeah, Maryvale had a baby. Get shot?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes, I am. I was at work. Well, then that's okay.

[John Holmberg]

Those are. I don't think that's accurate. I don't think you're a representation. I don't think your representation of Yes, I am the father and I was at work is accurate in Maryvale. I don't think those two phrases just I am the father and I was going to work early in the morning. I don't think that's a Maryvale thing. Again, I repeat, a baby was shot in Maryvale. I didn't see the police chief. It wasn't an eight minute story. They couldn't wait to get out of the story on Channel three.

[Dale Hellestray]

No video.

[John Holmberg]

No, there's no video there.

[Dale Hellestray]

Babies filming.

[John Holmberg]

They're not rats putting up ring cams over there. They got them all over Gilbert. That's why we got to see the story. This is the whole story. Police responded to a baby being shot at 11:30 on 83rd Avenue in Camelback. The lieutenant told Arizona's family that 30pm p.m. yeah. A police lieutenant at the scene told Arizona. Yeah, they're not up that. What are you talking. Maryville is not up that. Are you familiar with what we're doing here? Says a police lieutenant at the scene told the Arizona family the baby was shot. First responders took the baby to the hospital. Detectives have responded to investigate. There's no information leading to the shooting. Yeah, the baby. There's information that would have led to the shooting. Baby side eyed me. So take that, Gilbert and all your. Get the Gilbert police chief on what's going at KTR yesterday. Full segments. The Gilbert teens are at it. A baby was shot in Maryvale. We're talking about Gilbert teens getting into fist fights over guerrilla style burgers. Stop it. I don't want my town to turn into Maryvale. That's why we report this stuff. No, I see crying moms with blurred faces because they're afraid of retaliation. Meanwhile, babies are taking bullets at 11:30 at night.

[Dale Hellestray]

The baby doing outside the Gilbert moms are going to strike back at In N Out. Maybe your menu is too aggress.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Animal style.

[John Holmberg]

Animal style. They don't like that.

[Dale Hellestray]

Promoting violence.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Brady, you gotta move. You gotta get out of that. I want you to move to Maryville. Pretty much. We're starting to hate all people who are like, I live in Gilbert. I already kind of have. You're like the last one. You're the last one. When you say I live in Gilbert. I'm like, yeah, I like him, but he's Doing his best. He's doing his best. People come from Maryville. I'm like, at least you're real. I understand you've had. You've been through some life experiences I can relate to. Not the baby getting shot 11:30 at night. I don't want to make fun of a baby getting shot at 11:30 at night, but it's kind of awkward. What was he doing up? You know, he had a deal to make. I don't understand anything anymore. But. So yeah, keep that in mind while you're watching blonde 15 year olds pull each other's hair in the Gilbert parking lot. Next thing you know, I got to listen to gatos and Bruce St. James. Well, it's a problem. It's a problem. Come on. No, were they fighting over the last. Last bottle of Mac foundation at Sephora or something? I mean, come on. I have no idea.

[Dale Hellestray]

Someone finished the other one's fries.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody had their. Her nails were pointier than the other ones because they do those pointy nails now. I don't know. I have no idea. But it is annoying. And no, Brady, I don't think hot chicks fight each other over fries. You're really self and his world idea. You are really hyper folk. You must be starving this morning.

[Brady Bogan]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, baby shot in Maryville. News to come? I doubt it. They might bring it up a couple more times, but unless they've got. Unless the baby had weaves of long blonde hair and its hair whipped in the wind, the news isn't going to cover. But they sure will watch a couple of 15 year old blondes tugging on each other's hair in a parking lot. And then the poor police chief of Maryvale. Hey, we're calling to talk to you about the baby being shot. And his answer would be which one? And then Maryvale hangs up because they're smarter. Never thought I'd say it. Maryvale greater than guilty. At least the citizens, the residents, they're more fun. You know, it's better out there. They're not sitting there shaking all the time. Their kids are gonna kill em. But it's better barbecue out there too, Brady. Oh, hey, that's probably true. Yeah, way to play his game, Brett. That spits. I guarantee you that's true. I guarantee you that's a fact. That blonde. What are they with the bland sauce that they use out there and spices? Well, couldn't possibly. I have something called silent ref, so. Whatever. I don't want to go to bed and have my heart hurt.

[Dale Hellestray]

Bring Maryville out to Gilbert. You have to be gone by 5pm.

[John Holmberg]

You know, be gone when the sun goes down. Yeah. So it's breakfast. They're gonna want him to bring breakfast. Well, that's not gonna happen. Maryvale breakfast. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Babies work later.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, the babies are out cleaning up the kitchen. 11:30. That lazy ass baby doing in bed. It's only 11:30. Maryvale babies go to bed late. Yeah. I gotta find this thing about Sophie. So keep that in mind when you're wandering around Gilbert this morning telling each other with, you know, last night's Postino's wine breath, that you're just afraid for your child's safety. A baby was shot in Mary. We don't live in Maryvale. We don't. You can't be empathetic towards your kids. Only if you're gonna make some sort of stance about violence with kids. You have to be. You have to be all of it or none of it. Just my kids matter. It's silly. There's another dude on the news last night. I watched and I didn't get a good vibe off the H. I don't like hoas at all. I've made my stance on hoas in a huge way. I hate them. I will never live in it. You don't have your new one. I moved out. You got one. And you've had your issues with HOA stuff.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I hate HOAs. I think they're. It's the biggest blackmail mob scam that for some reason people are into. That I don't get. Just go knock on your neighbor's door and tell them not to park in the road. Could you not do that? You might get into an argument with him. And he has a right to go. I'm going to park in the road. And you have a right to go. Oh, I hate that. And then you either keep the fight alive or he'll move the car or it just is what it is. Tell him to see where it is in person. Right. Yeah. And it's cowardly. I don't like it. Yard tattle, tattle on the. On the mob bosses and they find you for nothing. And it's just a scam. But in certain cases, usually get a lot of notes. This one's. Yeah. Notes and warnings. And then, like, they will steal your life from you if you don't pay them, for God's sakes. I understand that feeling. There's a guy in Goodyear that stands outside his house and he gives out water. And he was on the news too, last night, and he was like, and the HOA is like, go inside, like. And I like that HOA that basically wanders around to the, to the neighborhood, Brady's and says, get, get in the house. It's hot outside. What are you doing giving out water. To who? There's nobody out here. The kids. And then his thing was, I give it to kids, I give it to delivery workers, I give it to couples holding hands. Like, who? What couple is out walking around in this? Nobody's out there walking around. What you're doing is expressing how insanely lonely you are. Miserable with the family that lives inside the house. And you're trying to make new friends outside that don't want you either. Get in your house. There are plenty of places that give away water. And if anybody's taking a walk in this 117, 118 degree days and they don't have any water and they need you, there's a bigger fish to fry with that HOA than there is the guy in front. You got dehydrated people wandering around on lovers walks in the middle of 118 degrees. There's no need for him to stand outside and give away water. I automatically assume two things. Pedophile, immediately. First thing in my, if I see a dude outside giving away free things in his yard and nobody asked for it. Grooming. First thing in my mind, ah, grooming. Anybody that interested in making sure that the neighborhood's kids are okay and none of them are his, he's up to something. Chris Hansen's gonna be walking out. Yeah, I don't trust that dude at all. Anybody that's like, yeah, I don't have any kids of my own. I want to make friends with yours.

[Brady Bogan]

Nope, nope.

[John Holmberg]

That's called stranger danger. And the other thing I was always.

[Dale Hellestray]

What are you giving out? Yeah, Mike's Hard Lemonade and cookies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the thing I was always told. Take nothing from people you don't know. Like, if I was a kid out there, me and Stebbings used to ride our bikes around the middle of 112 degree days in summer, going back and forth to his house and my house and doing whatever we were. There was a dude in the front yard at any given time going, kids, come here, I got some free stuff for you. You ride faster the other way. Cuz we were raised, but you're taught. Yeah, sounds like the old creepy guy from family. It is. You killed thirsty. It's hot as hell out here giving away some free water. It's not tainted. You can trust me. You don't you tell your kids immediately. The HOA is right. It's the only time I'll ever agree with an hoa. Hey, dude. Do Gooder, get back in the house. My wife's in there. I hate it in there. Rather stand in the sun, give people think I'm a pedophile. Get in the house, jackass. And lovers that are wandering around a Goodyear neighborhood holding hands in 118 degrees. That to me shouts out, abduction situation. Somebody's doing that against their will.

[Dale Hellestray]

You want to take an afternoon walk?

[John Holmberg]

No. No one wants to take a walk. Hold my hand. Don't touch me.

[Dale Hellestray]

He made that up.

[John Holmberg]

We'll start sweating. Of course he did. He's trying to be. He's trying to cover that. He's. He's grooming. He's throwing bait out there for the children. It's for the kids. Anytime a dude in your neighborhood, and nobody asked him to do it, says the phrase, it's for the kids, like he's just out there with a jump rope. I need a second. No, I'm going in. You're creepy.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's got the other side of it tied to a pole.

[John Holmberg]

I'm ready to jump. I want to watch you bounce, son. Yeah. It says the violation is a hundred dollars. The fine started. He goes. I have no idea why they're coming down on him. Another guy. I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. Here we are in July, the hottest day of the year, and we're still talking about water coolers and free cold water and how wrong it is. You know why we were a tougher, better generation? Is because. Well, first off, it's my generation that sucks, because this dude's probably one of mine. And we've raised the most fragile group of pussies on the planet because we took away their ability to sneak up to any house in the neighborhood, put their head under a hose spigot and get some water. That used to be pretty normal. You knew seven or eight people on your street. Usually they had a kid. You're thirsty. It's like, let's go to Begley's house and get some water. You never knocked on a door or asked the parents. You just turn their spigot on. And sometimes that would happen at your house. You'd look outside and go, oh, Stevings and Begley are getting water.

[Dale Hellestray]

And you never gotta wait two minutes to find.

[John Holmberg]

Get the cool stuff sometimes cancer hose, you know, all the toxic plastic, which.

[Dale Hellestray]

Is great, great taste.

[John Holmberg]

All of your stupid kids are Kids with water comes from a city farm. I'm thinking of plastic bottle made by Coca Cola. Oh, my God. Yeah, I can't have water out of a cat too hard.

[Dale Hellestray]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

Cats have touched my tummy with anything. How's your tummy doing anyway? You're on 15 different medications. You don't seem to let that bother the inner lining of your stomach. Stomach talon. God, I hate your children so much. Pansies. Meanwhile, I'm looking over at Maryvale where a baby is nursing its bullet wounds today. And it made it. Nobody's really going. Well, he shouldn't drink out of taps. I guarantee you they're drinking water from a fire hydrant. That's fine. They play in fire hydrants and they drink from fire. I'm fine with Mary Maryvale. You're winning. He's like Rambo. He's got his knife out and he's sewing himself back up and everything else. What are you doing there? Oh, he's selling a bullet. Good baby. He's a genius. Nice stitches. He's a goddamn genius. Look at that little baby. He going to be back to work tomorrow? I'm going to get sleep anyway. Yeah, I just. I hoas serve no purpose in my mind. But that's a good one if you're going to get any time to rat out a neighbor. The local pedophile handing out free stuff in the front yard. Nope. It isn't Halloween. It doesn't make any sense. And even in Halloween, I'm skeptical of the dude who likes it too much. You know, the childless guy that's got too much going on at his house. Come on, kids. I want to be all your friends.

[Dale Hellestray]

You have to walk through the house to get to the candy.

[John Holmberg]

I've said it a million times. Christmas time. Some people. So that single dude in your neighborhood that's sitting there dressed as Santa Claus, that's. He's getting something out of that. Your kids aren't and he is.

[Dale Hellestray]

Is.

[John Holmberg]

That's weird. But at least it makes sense seasonally. July, free water guy whose first words. It's for the children. There are no children. I don't know if you've noticed, but for the last 18 or 19 years, there are no children outside anymore. Even in when the weather's nice.

[Aafion Crockett]

When the.

[John Holmberg]

We used to have to go play basketball. You have to wait till the other guys were done to get your guys out on the court. And they're like 25 people and like 18 of them are standing outside the court waiting their turn. That doesn't happen anymore. At all. At all. Pristine nets that very rarely get used to. Hate that. You go to a basketball court you like, and then a few weeks later, they'd put chains up there, and you're like, oh, crap, this thing's gone completely ghetto. I used to like the ones that were at the real nets outside. That was outstanding. There was always a few extra dudes. Not anymore. They don't go outside anymore. So handing water out to the kids. You're handing a water out to a kid who obviously his parents do not care about him at all. Didn't even buy him an iPad to be fat and lazy inside, nobody's playing outside. And I want to meet the Gilbert or Goodyear lovers. It's perfect time for a walk, don't you think? Yeah. It's the last thing you want to do with your girlfriend if you love her is give her swamp box in the middle of the day and try to be romantic about it. It's disgusting. You got to go home and clean her out. It's like a Grease 2 dudes or something. When you said the Goodyear lovers, I was like, swamp box. What are you talking about? Well, they get swamp box, too. It's just different. Different box. It's like a truffle butter thing. They got like a. You still don't want to go walking around and create friction in that area. Yeah. 118 degrees. You're gonna froth down there. You homosexuals would like some free water.

[Brady Bogan]

It's over here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We'll pour down our cracks. That's fantastic. Who are you? Just a guy handed out water to lovers walking around in 120de. Totally normal. Yeah. And I know people are like, wasn't it a better time? And you could trust your neighbors? No. I watch a lot of murder shows. You can never trust your neighbors. Back in the day, when they said, trust your neighbors, your parents told you not to never, ever, ever talk to those weirdos. Like, you can trust them to a certain degree. There was always that one dude on the street that you're like, don't talk to him. He was the one doing weird stuff, like had a lawn chair in his front yard watching you play, you know, wiffle ball or something. Like, why is the childless guy reffing the game? We didn't ask him to come away. You guys need an umpire? No, thanks, Mr. Hawk. Go back inside. I'll just sit here and watch. I love watching the children play. That one time my mom gave me away in San Diego to that guy whose kid died. She felt bad for him and he knocked on the door. Never met him. Knocked on the door. Can I take you sounding away watching adventure. I lost my boy a couple years ago. He's about your son's age. Sure. Like what the hell. Next thing you know I'm in the back of a an opal going to the ocean with some strange guy with a handlebar mustache. Yeah, he didn't rape me. Hi, I'm Richard Karn and you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. The brand new pocket hose Copperheim Head with pocket pivot is here and it's a total game changer. Plus your super light and ultra durable pocket hose Copperhead is backed with a 10 year warranty. What could be better than that? For a limited time you can get a free pocket Pivot and their 10 pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size Copperhead hose. Just go to get copperhead.com. that's get copperhead.com for your two free gifts with purchase. Get Copperhead dot.

[Brady Bogan]

Comberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

I was allowed to bring a friend of equal age and I brought my buddy Tony. And we stood on the wheel watching boat. Just asking each other how come we're here. It's like his kid's dead and he just wants to look at us. Was this Mr. Carlson from a Different Strokes or what? I mean, you and Dudley were looking at the new bikes. That's exactly what it was. Trust your neighbors.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Live your life without a neighbor touching your butthole. That's what you're. That's all we're all trying to do. They're not all after but just, just you know. This one says be careful Junos. This email says he. Thanks. It says you might get boycotted for talking smack about Gilbert. You might have all these 40 plus ladies that try to look 25 after you again. Can you imagine them going to the news in those new high heels? They have all new shoes now. That's true. Since the Gilbert goons thing, they've got all new shoes they need to show off. So they need to get on the TV again. Those new Steve Maddens Maryvale just right now there's a dude out there putting putty in the hole in his house that got to his baby patch. Head up. Doug Hoffman sees this. He ain't gonna buy this thing around.

[Dale Hellestray]

The Golden Goose, right?

[John Holmberg]

Even in your neighborhood if there was a guy, if you. You do it sometimes. But you've gotten a reputation where you're at least not gonna Rape any. You stand outside and give people sauces, they'd walk.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm just saying, when you talk about it, it's just nice to.

[John Holmberg]

To.

[Dale Hellestray]

You know, if something were. If we weren't home. Growing up with Kirby or whatever, felt pretty comfortable that she could go across the street or next door.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's always had people they knew because.

[Dale Hellestray]

I. I think about that. That man, if it turned and it becomes an absolute nightmare, it's the worst. You're living in a neighborhood, and all sudden, like, what this guy's running into the guy giving away water.

[John Holmberg]

But you're talking about people. You know, everybody was. Had neighbors. Like, it's okay to go to their house if we're not here. Something bad happened. I'm talking about the dude down the street when nothing bad has happened and you guys are home and he's outside his house trying to give free things to your kids, Adding, teach your kids that. That ain't normal. And the hoa, which I've never thought I'd say. Same thing I said yesterday. Two phrases I never thought I'd say. The HOA is right, and Dennis Rodman's daughter is beautiful. I never thought those words would ever fall out of my mouth.

[Dale Hellestray]

And we've talked about it before, but when we were growing up, the worst thing was, even though it's supposed to be a positive thing, the. The safety spot. Like, just put that up in the window.

[John Holmberg]

I never liked those when I was a kid.

[Dale Hellestray]

Lets kids know this is a safety spot.

[John Holmberg]

I had four or five of my own safety spots, but I always thought that that was the best ruse for a child abductor. And I was a child when I realized that, I'm like, well, put this up here. Who puts the E in their window? Or whatever letter they give those? Oh, yeah. The. Ready. I never wanted to go to that person's house.

[Dale Hellestray]

That was the hunter orange.

[John Holmberg]

Ours were red. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We had red E's. And you put them in the windows. And what was the E for? Emergency. Emergency. Emergency rape is what it was. The guy was inside just waiting for one. That was the last place that was. And even as a kid.

[Dale Hellestray]

Erection.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Got a strong one. Big red one sticking out like lipstick. I even as a child, looked at that and said, if I was a guy who wanted to hurt kids, I would. I would get one of those. You know, they don't wander around dragging their claws on the ground. They're normal people that fool society and become E houses. No way. You never went to your teacher's House. That was weird. And you never went in one of those E houses you don't take free stuff from. Nick Hoa is right. That's your teacher. As Brittany Zamora. Well, that was different. That was when you were of age, if the hormones were pumping and Brittany was wise enough never to take them home. Home. I don't know how she got away with boning that kid where she boned him, which was like in the class.

[Dale Hellestray]

E in the hood of her car.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there was another one of those the other day where the husband, poor bastard. But he, to his credit, he got. He told on her right away. And I don't know, I. I keep that dead quiet, but he was going through his wife's phone like she's up to something. And the last thing he expected to find was text from one of her students in sixth grade. Sixth grade again. 12, 13 years old. And immediately called the kids. Parents. I called the kid, you know, I'll show. Who's this bastard saying, I love you, darling. I can't wait to be. Oh, cool. This son of a. And who's this Talon guy? Hello. Was your father around? Something's going. No, it's my phone. What the hell in that? Are you Carlos? Yeah, what's it to you? You son of a. Are you having sex with my wife? Wife, probably. Let's get. Oh, my God. And he called. That kid's found. His kid's parents called immediately. And the parents were like. We saw some text messages we were concerned about too. We didn't know who it was for. Thought it was one of his little girlfriends. It was, but it was also his teacher. And I don't know if I'd tell on that. We've talked about this a million times. But Megan starts boning a 12 year old, I'm staying put. I'm not. Nobody's gonna know. I'm never talking about it. I might even give that K some free water. On his way out the door, I'm like, good for you. Nice job, clown. For a 12 year old. I'm not doing it. I'm not telling anyone.

[Dale Hellestray]

Looking away.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, man. Cuz having been in this business long enough, I know. Names are released and you start. You see that on the news tonight. Megan Holberg caught with a 12 year old boy. I'm like, oh, boy, that's coming back on me. She's already in trouble. Now I got to live my life. I gotta. I'm expected to go back out there and be normal now. It's impossible. Especially because my name is Mostly consonants. It's not common. People will remember that. Two things I'll get from that moment. Are you ready? You're related to that guy that plays for the Maple Leafs? No. Why do I know your name? You don't. Wait a minute. Home that you're the dude whose wife had that? Yes. All right. Just give me my Chipotle and kill. I gotta go. Never talking about it again. Ever. Having slumber parties at the house the kids allowed in. He bring his friends over. I'll play video games with him. Well, he gets it done, no one will know. She can marry him. I'll be the best man. I'll never talk about it ever in my life. I need to talk to you. I was giving out free water the other day and One of the 12 year olds walked by and I noticed the bulge. Oh my God. What's happening? Happening. One thing led to another.

[Dale Hellestray]

I appreciate you being honest.

[John Holmberg]

I just would like you to not turn me into that. I'm never talking about this again. When this conversation over, it dies. You're so much bigger than my husband. Ah, Christ, I'm not. And I don't want to be mean, but if we ever have sex again, you're not gonna feel anything. This kid has opened me like a Holland tunnel. What? You're gonna have to just go back door and tell do it a few times before I let him do it. Cuz once he's back then there it's like those change purses with the elastic. He's ruined it. It's. I'm wide open. Yeah, I am forever. Forever. Forever. Forever. Remember Lou Diamond Phillips? When his wife left him for Melissa ATH and lesbian things started. What do you remember? You remember Lou Diamond Phillips for Labomba? Or that first that always comes up young guns. Yeah. He had movies, he had a career. Lou Diamond Phillips was a big deal. Wife starts boning Melissa Etheridge and he's like oh, there's Lou Diamond Phillips. Remember him? He was in Labamba. And also his wife. Immediately the next story is the. The personal tragedy he had nothing to do with. It's the bridge building rules. Anyway, 12 year old do you leave? You stick that out.

[Dale Hellestray]

I. It'd be tough to stick around.

[John Holmberg]

Why? You've been married long enough. You're probably not having sex anyway. What's the big deal?

[Dale Hellestray]

You found someone else, obviously.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and she wasn't using you anyway. So life is the same now. There's just a 12 year old every once in a while that comes by, introduces you to the new gonna Hit. And then he leaves. And you're good. Everything's fine.

[Dale Hellestray]

It would just. I think the tough, you know, if I stuck it out, it'd be the worst. Enough for the video games. I'm trying to get to bed.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. You go to bed at like 8. And then he'd turn to his new girlfriend. Your grandfather's mad a lot. That's my husband, Toby. Is he gonna use our bed? Half of it. Yuck. You hear him splashing around in the pool at night together? He's got his water wings on, never saying a word. And neither should you, Brady, because I will. It would be. Oh, could you imagine?

[Dale Hellestray]

You just know.

[John Holmberg]

You go over the house, oh, and.

[Dale Hellestray]

There'S a couple of kids playing in the pool.

[John Holmberg]

Did you. Did you adopt that? What is this? Don't ask. It's Ronnie's new side piece. The first maybe. I don't know. What would be like a month? Brett, maybe. Poor Brady. Poor Brady. We'd be quiet about it, and then one of us would bounce a joke back and forth in the hallway and we'd start laughing. It'd start like the whole Thriller thing started, just kind of like real quiet. And then all of a sudden, boom. All. Until we're like, look, we got to talk to you. We've had some real good jokes about how your. Your wife is boning that 12 year old. And then, I mean, Toledo's a. He's a bastard in a basket. And we've had great fun with that. At first it was a little like, ooh, maybe he's sensitive. And then once you realize we don't carry sensitive. This is something we. Yeah, that's why you never talk about it ever. So just know they're out there and they're trying to hand you free water. Hoa. Good job. That's what I'll tell you right now. That's the best thing I can say today. The HOA did a nice job. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. That's the phone number. You give it to us good and strong, and we'll scream it together. It's 98. KUPD. Wake up.

[Aafion Crockett]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this for you.

[Aafion Crockett]

PD Converg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. Evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Navigate to the year of P. Morning sickness Gotta get up to here and make you laugh until you peel they might make you come undone. Make your cockrise with the sun. We'd like to welcome you to this morning show with John Grant and Brady and Big Dick Toledo. They call us Hob not worth miles to nowhere. They speak on controversy. Who's bobbing Johnny Snob that they think dua leap was great for the faint of heart? They're not Homer's morning sickness. You gotta get up to hear it. Makes em laugh, makes em cry. In all seriousness and fun. Make your cock rise with a son.

[Brady Bogan]

We'd like to introduce our main host.

[John Holmberg]

They say he looks like Squidward with that big hu. But that's so prereq. They own the mornings airing over 20 years like a blue coat they're still going. Brady comes in shorts to report the news. He knows. But you can't eat at Porkopolis because it closed. Homebridge morning sickness. You gotta get up to hear it. Make you laugh until you spiel wipe you off when they are done make your cockride with the sun. Homeburg's morning sickness. You gotta tune in. I just really need the Trump administration to succeed and to save this country.

[Brady Bogan]

And they're doing so much good.

[John Holmberg]

And then for them to do something like this, terror my guts out. So I'm watching Alex Jones cry again, which is hilarious whenever a man cries like that. But here's the dangerous thing. He's got a camera set up on his steering wheel like it's aimed right at him driving. I, I don't, I don't like this at all.

[Dale Hellestray]

Is this so he, you know, can multitask?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what it is.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's show from the car.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Why, why not just pull over and like, you know, have a moment in your. Probably right now. My mouth is watering right now. He's gonna throw up because he doesn't like what happened with the, with the Epstein files. Because I have integrity. What? And.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, I just really need.

[John Holmberg]

The Trump administration to succeed and to save this country and do so much good. Dude needs to stop, like, stop driving and doing videos. That's the first. If you want to help save young people, don't drive around doing videos all day. You're going to run one over eventually. I like when Alex Jones cries. I find that endlessly entertaining when a grown man starts crying over a topic like nothing's happened to me. Him, he just read some words he didn't like in a situation that made him upset that he's not really even related to. And he starts sobbing that I got.

[Dale Hellestray]

I was gonna cry either way because if there was stuff and it came out, oh, no, the Epstein.

[John Holmberg]

But again, if it was the other way, sure. But the tears for me are thrilling because he's not even related to it. He's just a news anchor. When news anchors cry, something has to be, like, against the entire world for me to be, like, emotional or like a dog story. But I would avoid that. Tighten up, son. Deliver the information and then go. All right, cut the cameras. And they go privately sob the way men used to. You cry in public over something, that information you don't like. Day one. Just gotta make sure that trash truck's supposed to pick up the trash on Wednesday. And I didn't get the bucket out in time. And I just. You're a lunatic. I don't trust a crying man. I don't trust a man with his emotions that out of check. If you ever sat down at, like, the restaurant with me, Brady. Never. Hear about what happened with the Trump DOJ and the Epstein files. No. What's going on? You're not. You're not gonna believe what's going on. Jesus Christ. Lock it down.

[Dale Hellestray]

Even that's completely different. Because that's private. Private.

[John Holmberg]

No, it isn't. We're in a restaurant. Lock it. I would still. I'd walk away from the table.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know, but it's different when. That's the thing. I mean, it's different when these guys are doing it on.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Dale Hellestray]

Live.

[John Holmberg]

But again, if it's supposed to appeal to anyone. I believe. He's that emotional. He's unstable.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, no. Because he's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Unstable.

[John Holmberg]

But imagine if I'm sitting there, I'm telling you, like, my dog died. I might get weepy. Yeah. Family member dies.

[Dale Hellestray]

It would be a little off putting that. This is what's.

[John Holmberg]

But even still, if you told me in a restaurant, you know, had a little trouble last night with the old wife. All right, lock it down. Maybe we shouldn't be out. You're not ready to be in public yet.

[Dale Hellestray]

You know, what if the person. If it's a friend or whatever, they can get one or two. I'm like, all right, you're not. You know, there's more stuff that's going on, obviously, that caused this.

[John Holmberg]

I don't give you a whole lot of grace with the crying thing if we're in public. No, no, no, no, no. Lock it down. Lock it down. My first thoughts are about me, so they're gonna think we're gay and they're gonna think I broke up with you. This is bad. This is weird. Lock it up. Just knew I talked to you about the Epstein files. I'm like, are you. Are you openly weeping? I'm gonna go to the bathroom and not come back. I'm gonna. Toledo's dad this lunch. Goodbye.

[Dale Hellestray]

I think you'd have. You have every right to go.

[John Holmberg]

Go.

[Dale Hellestray]

Knock it off.

[John Holmberg]

Like, it would be worse though. Cuz you pray if you. What if you waited until the food got there and then Brady turns and goes, you seen Wicked? Oh, no. I mean, the ending part with the witches are. Oh, Jesus Christ. Lock it up. But yeah, don't cry as a man talking about stories. If you start feeling like you're going to cry, excuse yourself and go embarrass yourself quietly in a bad bathroom. They always had to wreck that somewhere in the 80s and 90s. Real men cry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We cry about death and we cry about, like, things that have happened to us. We don't cry about everything. Lock it down. You certainly don't make videos of yourself crying. Alex Jones has a lot of reasons to cry. Like, a billion of them. But I find it funny.

[Dale Hellestray]

Not the past. Funerals.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Have you ever looked at being born? Have you ever looked at like, yeah, but if you're. Okay, fine. Stay still. But if we're at lunch together and you start talking about your child being born and you start crying, I'm like, this dude's an emotional lunatic. Like, we're not there anymore.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't know you well enough. I know I would never do that.

[John Holmberg]

I know you perfectly well enough. We've known each other for years. If you did it today, I'd be like, all right, see ya.

[Dale Hellestray]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Not dealing with this nut bag. The day Kirby was.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's how well I know you. Like.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you do it.

[Dale Hellestray]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna break down too hard based on that. And if we're sitting at lunch and you start talking about your dad's funeral and start crying, I'm like, this dude's not over it yet. He's not ready to be in public. Lock it down. Lock it down. No more crying. Guys, when's the last time you were at a restaurant, you looked over and saw two dudes sitting there and one of them was sobbing, and you didn't say it was hysterical?

[Dale Hellestray]

Don't know if I've ever seen it.

[John Holmberg]

I have once, and it's hysterical. Any man crying at a table at all, even if he's with a woman. Like, oh, this poor SAP's getting dumped. Like, you don't think I've seen.

[Dale Hellestray]

I've seen women.

[John Holmberg]

Women cry all the time. They're supposed to. I'm not telling women not to cry, that they're emotionally unstable. They're built that way. They are emotionally incapable of controlling themselves. We are built a different way. In public, a man starts crying. Hilarious. If you don't know him.

[Dale Hellestray]

Drunken cry.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the drunken cries the best. Because you know what? You lose control of your emotions. You are not a normal human being. You've been manipulated emotionally. It's the best. I understand a tear rolling down a guy's eye, but the second you do, you're done. Go. Go hide somewhere. I did it at that Mr. Rogers documentary, but I was in a movie theater, and you know what I did? I realized that when I did that, I'm like, oh, Jesus, it's on. Like, this is bad. I didn't. I wasn't proud of myself. The next. Yeah, but it's a movie. They're designed to get you emotionally. My next move for the next four or five minutes. Lock this down. Don't make that noise again.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's a struggle.

[John Holmberg]

It's a dark room. It's a dark room. It's okay. Nobody can pinpoint it. And everybody else is probably crying too. Lock it down. Don't leave this thing. It's still emotional again in the wheelchair. Like, lose, lose, lose all the emotion. Let's get it back together. But I knew even then when it was okay to cry. It was designed to do that. Movies with dogs that die. I'm gonna cry, but I'm not gonna talk about it. A couple days later and still open, like, break down. Alex Jones has a problem. Emot. I believe they call that unbalanced. It's a chemically imbalanced man. I read some news today. Oh, check. Check, please. Let's get you out of here.

[Dale Hellestray]

When? I think it was two days ago when I talked about the Epstein thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

The government announced and everything. There was a comment about Alex Jones, like, I didn't even know he was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he still does stuff. He still evidently does it. Well, he's driving. He might be for Uber or something, but he's. He's in his car making a mess.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, people are getting paid at least because he's still garnished for life, Right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know what that deal is. Billions of dollars. He'll never make the money he owes the Sandy Hook people, so. But. Yeah, but you can't steal a man's right to make a living for himself. He just to take the extra. So yeah, I don't know what his life is like. Car looks nice. Looks clean. If it was an Uber. It's four star just looking at it. I don't know about the crying girl. If you ever got in the car with a crying Uber, would you stay? Guys, read the Not Real Stage. Did you read the article about the DOJ and what they're doing with the Epstein files? All right, just. You know what? We're not going to go. Change their minds. Canceled trip. Waymo never cries. I'd rather be in a. People always say that. Like, what if the Waymo goes crazy? What if Alex Jones is your driver? What would you rather have? The crazy Waymo that's going to go around the airport 100 times in a second circle or dude who's on his last, like, thread. I don't know if I go on get on that freeway. Just hit the gas. Never turn back. You know how it is, Brady. What do you do for a living, brother? Pull over. Pull over. You crying music. Turn up something else. News gets me. All right, I'm gonna call away. Mo. Pull over, you big pussy. Brad's going out this morning. He's not going to cry. If he does, laugh at it, because that's hysterical. Albertsons is where he's going. Where? Carefree highway in the i17. We're testing limits with Brett. We're seeing how far we can push him directionally. Carefree highway now. I17. That's a good one. And last year, if I remember right, that one started real slow. And then we just got a slew of stuff. You can donate some water for Operation Hydration. Yes, we yesterday. Six pallets of water. I don't have the name of the company in front of me. Toledo will come in and yell it at me in a second.

[Brady Bogan]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

But six pallets of water, I never knew what. Oh, it was. It was communication. No, they put. They put cables in the ground.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Unbelievable. I never knew what that looked like. Like, when you say six pallets of water, man, it is a semi truck. It is tons. So on our quest to get a million bottles of water for the Phoenix rescue mission, stuff like that most certainly helps. That is a huge jump in the right direction. Amazing. You can help out today by grabbing a case and piling on. Each case counts towards that goal. And you can do it this morning.

[Dale Hellestray]

With a shout out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cave. Yeah. And if you Want to drop off a ton? You can do that too. Or some money. We'll talk to Brett. He's also got Volbeat and Pantera to tickets. He's out there this morning at Carefree highway and the i17. So all you folks that are out in that area, go in, give Brett an envelope with some money, say, go inside, get a couple of those cases. He'll do it for you. Or you can turn around, come right back out and drop the water off yourself. Try to fill that truck up this morning. I think that's a beautiful thing. So thank you in advance and thanks to Albertsons this morning. And go get your Vol Beat Pantera tickets from Brett. They're hanging out out there in a beautiful way. Brady, I don't know if this emailer here hates me or loves me. I'm in a very strange relationship with J. Foe. Now, a few weeks ago, back in June, early June, I read the one that says, you're not a man. Quit saying Covid. And I said. I said, you're paid to do this. Covid doesn't exist. And your staff. And you continue to bring it up. Oh, poor John Holmberg thought he might have Covid. You don't. I listen because you're the best morning shower around. Huh? Wait a second. All the pathetic sponsors that you constantly praise, they ruin everything and everyone. Endless commercials and pathetic music. Go back to the morning show. Cause you have talent for that. You're making me bipolar. Feel free to call me out on the air. I'll give you a good 30 minutes, we'll laugh. You lost me five years ago. Besides, you'll never be on the air with this or honest about anything. Just abide by your contract and your pathetic life. I've been a fan since 2001.

[Dale Hellestray]

What is going.

[John Holmberg]

There's really nothing else around but you and Joe Rogan sign J. That one confused me back in June. Right. Haven't heard from him since. And I remember reading that on the air last night at 2:05am that's when you know you got something brewing.

[Toledo]

Is it from Maryvale? Can you tell?

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't know. He didn't sign. Like Maryvale Pride or anything at the end says. All right, you win. You toasted and roasted me back my last email. I actually enjoyed it because I'm a man, unlike you. I'm not a. All right, here we go. I deserved it. You couldn't resist. But to go out all out several times between the numerous pathetic commercial companies. You're giving up on the Suns You're a Steelers fan. Good luck this season. Moose knuckle. You'll never admit due to your contractual obligations any of this advertising and marketing. What would Brady do? Who are these people? There's some sick stuff. After been very funny for 25 years. You've earned it all. Wow.

[Dale Hellestray]

I can't tell if he likes it.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I keep saying. I just wonder the facts I presented to you which being friends with everybody doesn't justify. You all have it made. Early mornings. You're hilarious. Then it happens. Commercials. Comments. Lame ass suck up songs. What the huh says. Keep promising everything you're paid to do. And Volbeat. What a great band. Solid band. 7-24-26th out in Glendale. But let it go. They're not stellar. Keep living off your life and endless backyard talk. I'm amazed it takes local radio stations to keep homeless people hydrated. Promoting endless companies and corporations. You're doing a good job giving that water around.

[Toledo]

What is happening?

[John Holmberg]

It's free. Yeah, but we all pay for it. For you. Stick up for your talents. It's priceless.

[Dale Hellestray]

Quit.

[John Holmberg]

Quit being a dude douche. Facts are facts. I hope you call me out again. I'll keep listening. Because someone said it's free. You sort of. From 5:45 to 10. It's pathetic. Commercials advertising refurbished songs. Enjoy being number one because literally there's no one else like you. I. This is hard for me to get through. At least I'm effing honest and crime free. Unlike most of your trash. Unlike most of your trash talking listeners. Now go get water for everybody because our governor won't do anything. What the F. Does our governor actually do? Nothing. J Fo. I have no idea what to say to that other than don't crumple it up. We got to. I got it on the. I got it. We're good. No, Trust me. It's in a file. Created a file. I've created a digital file. Okay. If you know anyone whose first name starts with J and last name is Fontana or something. Be. Be aware of them and just say hey. How late did you stay up last night? J Fo. Hello. Three, four o'. Clock.

[Toledo]

You're assuming he's got acquaintances.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good point. These are Those dudes at 2:05. Yeah. You know I got a bone to pick with that morning show.

[Dale Hellestray]

Just spitting facts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Not sure you.

[Dale Hellestray]

There's a foe. Meet lady J. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Talk to. Oh, I don't like Guten talk involved. Yeah, I don't. I don't know What? It. I don't know. 200 faces. I don't know what a 205am email is supposed to sound like, but I'm pretty sure they all sound like that. Yeah, not a lot of 205 emails that come rolling in there.

[Toledo]

I think he's a little pissed he got kicked out of the bar and.

[John Holmberg]

Now I know you just got home from one.

[Toledo]

That's what I'm saying. He got.

[John Holmberg]

You know, he didn't get kicked out if it's 205. Well, he got kicked out because they're closed, so he's not mad. They love him there. Trust me. He's j.

[Dale Hellestray]

Foe is one side and foe is the other. Like, it's multi personality.

[John Holmberg]

He loves us.

[Dale Hellestray]

You're going back and forth.

[John Holmberg]

He thinks you're hilarious. You piece of. Yeah, Freddie, you're the best. Doing great job for the city now. Keep doing your stupid, you know, slave labor for all these advertisers. You pile a garbage piece of. Keep it up. You're doing a great job. You're number one for a reason, my friend. I hope you die in a car wreck. Huh?

[Toledo]

That's like getting jabbed nine times and then stopping going, hey, you, you're awesome.

[John Holmberg]

You know what it is? It's like, I respect you, bro. I think you're a good guy. But here's everything I hate about you. That conversation. It's that conversation. I don't. I don't know. What are you gonna do?

[Brady Bogan]

What are you gonna do about it?

[John Holmberg]

You got no control. I'm like, what? What are we talking about? You're really good at what you do. Like, I am so confused by this argument. I don't know. Like, I would rather you were a woman. At least I'm supposed to be confused.

[Toledo]

It might be AI but he has the worst pronouns ever.

[John Holmberg]

If he's AI, AI is good now. Yeah, I don't know what that was. FU Homeberg for monetizing your life, being hilarious in a good person. You dirty piece of. Yeah, if you want to go J. FO the whole time. Says maybe Brady wrote it because that's how he speaks. In sentences. None of it makes sense. It's kind of half and half. Was he reading a Brady report script or just trying out for the Volbeat post it game?

[Dale Hellestray]

See? At least he's consistent.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know. That's a weird one. One. He's bipolar. That's for sure. Maybe it's one of them Gilbert moms that hates me so much for calling out truths about how that paranoid group of fragile heads is out there screaming and crying about things that aren't that big a deal. That is a drunk man right there. He said, wait a minute. What did I miss? John, are you really giving up on the Suns? That's the one thing that guy took from that. No, I'm not giving up on this. I'm not happy with the sun. Dale will be in here later today. I'll tell you this about the Suns. Devin Booker signed a two year extension yesterday and so he's going to be here till 2030. No, they're not trading him, Toledo. They're hanging on to garbage. The suns are the NBA's junk drawer. Now, my friend Brian said that yesterday. I'm like, you are so right. Everybody's got three or four screwdrivers or a couple tape measures. Measures in their junk drawer. You got extra and you don't need either of them. And then. But you just won't let go to the drawer. You just won't let go to the junk drawer. It has no semblance of order. It has no real plan. The junk drawer just opens up and you hope you find something in there. And that's what the suns are. They're the junk drawer. You open it up and you hope that all the things in there are going to get you to the next thing you need. But you don't get rid of them. Well, you can't get rid of it because you never know when you're going to need it because you don't have a plan. Yeah, the junk drawer is only there for the times you're like, I got no idea what to do. Let's consult the junk drawer. It's the magic eight ball of everybody's house. I need a tape measure. That's 20. I've got four.

[Dale Hellestray]

Scorpion light.

[John Holmberg]

I have four. Exactly. It's in there. In Arizona. Everybody's got at least one and it doesn't work very well.

[Toledo]

No, because the batteries have been in.

[John Holmberg]

There for two years. There's free batteries floating around. It may be the used ones, they may be new. You don't know. But I've got four 25 foot tape measures, two of which don't retract on their own anymore to do. Why did I the other two. No, I know which ones are what.

[Aafion Crockett]

Oh, you do?

[John Holmberg]

I have no need for two of them to still be in existence.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, we've kept it down just to one that works in the junk drawer.

[John Holmberg]

The junk drawer has no semblance of order. The junk drawer Is a disaster. The Suns are the junk drawer now. Surprise you now and again that the junk drawer has everything you need and it'll pop up every once. Oh, my God. The junk drawer drawer. What a great day for the junk drawer. I found the batteries. I found the sticks that smell good. I found matches. I got a tape measure and a screwdriver. Everything I needed today was in the junk drawer. That's a big win. The next time you go to the junk drawer, none of it's in it. You just got blown out by the Lakers. That's essentially what this is. You have no plan. There's no consistency to the junk drawer. There's papers in it. Why? What's that? I have a small plant in the junk drawer. An old, small plastic. Plastic plant. Why? It's not good enough to display, but it's in the junk drawer.

[Dale Hellestray]

I've got a water tester.

[John Holmberg]

Of course you do. Why? You're making my point for me. It has nothing to do with what's in your junk drawer.

[Toledo]

Lisa's got three checks that she deposited. Mobile still in there. From like three.

[John Holmberg]

Just in case somebody calls and says, let's see those. Write down the confirmation number. You only keep things in the junk drawer just in case. Break glass in case of emergency. The Suns are now that. And here's another thing. And I love the guy. I think he's. He's great. I think he's awesome for the city. Devin Booker's not serious about winning championships. End of story. You don't. You don't extend what you've already got at three years for two more years. Looking at what just happened to the team you're on. If you were serious about a championship. If you're serious about a championship, you're like, let me see what you guys do in the next couple years. Because I'm looking at this roster right now and I'm saying no.

[Toledo]

But explain to me what his options are as far as I don't know how. Ndba. Contracts. Contracts.

[John Holmberg]

Work.

[Toledo]

Is his best option staying here or what? His best option doesn't matter. Doing something.

[John Holmberg]

The players run the league. The players run the league. Right. If he went to the gym right now and said, I don't want to play here anymore.

[Toledo]

They can facilitate their own training.

[John Holmberg]

Of course they can. They've run. They can't. Coaches are getting fired because of players. There's no coach that gets hired. Devin Booker was in on the. He sat down a couple times in the meetings for the new coaches. The players are in charge so he can go to the gym him and go, let's see what you're building here. And I'm not. I'm not getting a no, I'm not extending this unless he's just complacent and content. Likes his house with where he is. Doesn't really care if they have a good roster or not because right now they don't.

[Toledo]

Again, maybe have Kendall over.

[John Holmberg]

They're a junk drawer. They have five centers, four shooting guards, no point guard, a forward here, kind of a guy here. They don't have a rock. So he sits and looks at that and says, you know what? Give me a couple more years with this. It would be like signing a five year deal at kslx. What are you doing?

[Toledo]

What about the summer league? Is nothing going on in the summer.

[John Holmberg]

League for the Suns? What does that have to do with it? I don't know.

[Toledo]

But there's nothing coming up. Isn't there?

[John Holmberg]

No. Look at their roster. I know their roster. It's not like you're. And again, if you're relying on the summer league to build your roster, you got no plan.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[John Holmberg]

This is a mess of a team. So the guy through all that J. Foe email, what this guy got out of it or he giving up on the Suns? I'm pretty upset with him.

[Toledo]

One quick one on J. Fo. You sure that's a man, John? Because Jesus Christ, that sounds like my ex girlfriend.

[John Holmberg]

I'll give it to women for this. They almost 90 of the time the 205am email is a guy. You think Almost? Yeah, always. Like women aren't email reactionary. They. They stew on things, hold it in and then later when they're actually mad at you, then they bring up things from like the Paleolithic era. Let's go back in time thousands of years. Oh my God. I was a major man once. And you've got this. They store it. Dudes go home. Go. Yeah, give that dude a piece of my mind even though I like him quite a bit. It doesn't make any sense. That's a guy email. I'm almost convinced of it. Women don't go home from the bar at 205 and if they do, they're slump busters. They've got somebody with them. Yeah. So you get me off on the Suns right now. My buddy Brian coined the phrase and I couldn't agree more. Junk drawer. We've all got one. We have no real idea of what's in there. We just have a lot of Hope. There's a lot of hope when you open the junk drawer that what you're looking for will be there. The Suns are that. You look in there and you're like, man, I need a. I need a Phillips head screwdriver. But I need it to be like sunglasses size.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know of at least six things that I can depend on. The junk drawer that's in there.

[John Holmberg]

Right. That's not a plan.

[Dale Hellestray]

No. 9,000 paper items in there.

[Toledo]

Rubber bands.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You gotta. It's a mess is what it is. And usually you're like, yeah, there's a couple things that are pretty good. Devin Booker's pretty good. You got a couple guys on the team that are okay. They fit in the junk drawer and you can pop them out and go, this is a good one. We'll use this.

[Toledo]

But what does every junk drawer have? It has that organizer that makes. Means nothing.

[John Holmberg]

That's full of junk. Yeah. Sons are a junk drawer. And it's frustrating to be a season ticket holder.

[Toledo]

Toledo to let you know, Booker can get the most money from the Suns. So that's the incentive to sign for him. He has all the juice to go anywhere he wants in context of a trade. To John's point, the team wants to face to sell tickets. So they are being stubborn, trying to make it work without moving.

[John Holmberg]

They're not in control of this. Devin Booker can go to them right now, go. I don't like. I don't like the direction of this team and I demand a trade. You see it all the time. And then you got to trade that contract. And people would pick his contract up. It's heavy, but they'd pick it up. What he did was, man, I'm comfortable here. Most money I can make is with them championships or maybe it'll happen. Who knows? I want to do it. Who's like, this is. This is not a team. He's going to be 29. This is not a team that I'm going to win a championship with as it sits right. Right now. I need them to promise me that if this continues on another year that I, I got to see some action here. You dismantled the team that was in the NBA Finals and built this. Yeah. And now you're cash strapped and he goes and takes two more years. To me, that speaks volumes about how complacent he is here. I don't like saying that and I hope I'm wrong. I hope that they've magically come up with a new. I looked at their roster. They've been 18 year old center and two guys are paying behind him that are centers also. None of it makes sense. You got six shooting guards, five centers. The team is not. It's. It's a mess. A coach that's like 14. I hope I'm wrong. I don't think I am. They are far from being contenders. And that made me sad yesterday. Four down, Kevin Booker. I hate when I see that in sports when a dude sticks with a team that sucks and then you realize, oh, he likes being the big fish in a pond. He has no drive for titles. He has. He doesn't want that pressure. He doesn't like that. He doesn't want to be the guy that either got you there or did or was supposed to and didn't. Devin Booker isn't the guy that's gonna be like, he'll get us a championship. I think we all know that. And there's nobody else on that team that you're looking at going, oh, that's the guy that's gonna carry us over the top. Devin is. Is the guy. He's the face of the fringe. Oh, it's so frustrating. God, I hate that. We'll talk about it with Dale later. And he. I bet you he has the same opinion.

[Aafion Crockett]

What do you.

[Toledo]

What if Dominating has a great year?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I have a bet with Kevin Ray that dominating will get a ring before Devin Booker. Oh, man, it's gonna happen. He's gonna have that bet. Yeah. There's no way that Ayton doesn't get a championship ring being a complete failure.

[Dale Hellestray]

On the roster somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

Somewhere he'll just bounce around until he gets one and it'll. And it'll be a champion and Devin Booker won't because you know, you know DeAndre is going to stumble into one. Just like being a seven foot dude who's like, I can do stuff like Bill Walton, Celtics. Well, Bill Walton with Celtics still actually was somebody had to worry about. Dominating is just a dude that helps out during practice. Like, you know, he's an elder a now, so at least his driveway can't ice over. He's going to make practice. And by the way, speaking of J Fo, I got a thanks as I'm sure you're going to get an apology from that guy when he's in AA with the other dude that was screaming at you a year ago. That's true. That Gilbert guy that got mad.

[Toledo]

John, keep up the great work. You are the south park of radio.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you piece of. I guess, anyway, speaking of all of our clients that we just Shove our noses right up their asses. Good dudes. Good dudes like him a lot. Those are good dudes. Doug Hopkins. Piece of love, that guy. He's awesome. Does a great job. Does a great job.

[Toledo]

He's the face of LA TV too, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's all over.

[Toledo]

He got off the cruise. I was like, what?

[John Holmberg]

Doug's all over. He's great. He's killing Southern California. He's doing great. There's a guy who does similar stuff, but not as good as Doug in Cleveland. And he put up billboards and he's in trouble because billboards have a thing that says, yeah, yes, I buy crack houses. And yeah, he does. But they're mad at him. They're saying, oh, I would just say that. He said, because I buy crack houses. Those are real things.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm lying.

[John Holmberg]

And he says, what I do is buy homes. Generally, they're dilapidated, abandoned. No one lives in them. We buy the property, we fix it up, and we make affordable housing out of it. Well, the Cleveland City council president's like, we don't like that. That's trash. Says, maybe it should be with some people that are reputable, but not with somebody coming in clearly making a mockery of the neighborhood you have. Take Cleveland. You are the mockery of a neighborhood. You have crack houses. This guy's got a great ad campaign. In fact, I'm say it in the next spot for Doug Hopkins when I do it. Hey, John, over here. Chilling away for Doug Hopkins. Yeah, you got a crack ass. He'll buy it. There it is. He looks like a crazy person, but he buys crack houses. Doug Hopkins has told me stories about wandering in a house.

[Toledo]

You're welcome, community.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Nobody else is going to buy it. So if you've got a crack house and you want more crack and you're out of money, that's the dude to call. Hopkins will give you crack cash as is for your home, and you wander the streets looking for crack. Doug will fix your house up, make your neighborhood neighborhood better. I want a guy who's going to buy crackhouses knowingly or unknowingly.

[Toledo]

Doug's bought a crack house knowingly.

[John Holmberg]

Really? Oh, the stories Doug has about a few of the places he's got. It's like, man, crazy. Now, if it's a clandestine meth lab.

[Dale Hellestray]

Turn around and make some money on it. Doesn't matter where.

[John Holmberg]

But you got to be careful when you know that meth has been boiled up in there.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I imagine the remediation process is a little Bit.

[John Holmberg]

But if they don't have the lab set up, I'm not asking any questions. Questions.

[Toledo]

Just paint it. Paint the walls.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. The dude that sold it to me did not divulge. I know Doug didn't make it a clandestine meth lab. So the people he sold it to can go back two steps and go, pretty sure we know who did this. Crack houses, somebody. I love that there's a company out there that's willing to do that. If I had a crack house in my neighborhood. Sweet. Sweep that up. Somebody's got to buy that crack house now. My neighborhood. Somebody would buy it because it's a really nice neighborhood. There's a crack house in it. We'd take those people out, and we get good people. And they're not selling or making crack, like you said.

[Toledo]

He says, why are people complaining? These are not occupied. They're eyesores. No one's living in them. We do buy these properties.

[John Holmberg]

We fix them up.

[Toledo]

We make affordable housing out of them. What is the issue?

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you what the issue is, Gilbert.

[Toledo]

Mom.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Cleveland has exposed nerves about people making fun of their city. So the second you say the crack house, they're like, where? Well, we don't. Ohio. You look right there. Ohio doesn't like to admit when things goes wrong. They're still defending Ohio State.

[Toledo]

Didn't we play 3,000 sex? Dude, that song, that was about Cleveland. Well, that was about all of it. Everything bad.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a long time ago. The guy that made fun of Cleveland, the mistake.

[Toledo]

Everything was wrapped.

[John Holmberg]

It's known as the mistake on the lake. So when you've got billboards that say we buy crack houses, it reminds everybody they're in Cleveland, and nobody likes to be reminded of that. Toledo probably has that. We have crack houses. And everybody's like, of course you do. Your Toledo. They still don't like to acknowledge it. They say things like, they're still really good parts of Toledo. Yeah, I don't know about that. I saw about 80%.

[Dale Hellestray]

You can be first in on that here. Running billboards.

[John Holmberg]

Hopkins. Yeah. He did the billboard over on main street that says the thing about trailers. That ain't a good picture of a trailer. Trailer. You can.

[Toledo]

Home buyer Andy's buying crack houses.

[John Holmberg]

We don't know. I don't know if he can or not. I just want people to do it. I want somebody buying crack houses. So that guy. We should put the billboards up. Doug Hopkins, your commercials are safe with me from Here on out. Even if you live in a crack house, you want some crack money, they'll go give you cash for your crack and house. You can keep the crack, scoop all that crack up and get out of there. Doug will clean it up. That's a service that this city. You know who's going to do it if he doesn't? The city.

[Dale Hellestray]

Or it just sits there.

[John Holmberg]

Right? And they're going to have to go in there and either clean it up or board it up or keep an eye on it or put a fence around it. They're going to spend some money on it. The crack house people are. That's a good group. It's a damn fine group. And also, you have to be careful of this. Another thing I saw yesterday, Michael Rapaport, who's been in here a few times, we all know Michael Rappaport. He posted a meme of what he thought, I think. I don't know if he knew it was AI or not, but it was an AI picture of a guy in the Auschwitz camp, one of the prisoners playing a violin. I didn't see the post, but everybody's mad at him because it wasn't real. It's an AI. It looked pretty real to me. It's a. It's look. Would you know this was AI? It's a. I mean, it is emaciated dude in a camp playing a violin. And I don't know what Michael Rapaport's point was. It says he's under fire for sharing social media picture where a prisoner in a concentration camp. The Auschwitz Museum Memorial said it's. We checked it, it's fake and it's disrespectful. Can't. Can't we now AI, we're going to be wrong a lot with AI over the next few years.

[Toledo]

We're going to be wrong more than we are now.

[John Holmberg]

We have to give people a little bit of grace to say, oh, okay, yeah, I'd have fallen for that, too. I didn't know that. I don't know. I just watched a movie a couple months ago about how they had boxing matches with the prisoners. And it's heartbreaking. I don't know how real or fake it was, but I didn't think it was disrespectful because it made my heart fall out of my body saying, this was a human. This was something humans did. So. Yeah, but they're yelling at Michael Rapoport like he did that to hurt the Holocaust victims. And I'm like, I don't. I think they're all right with it. And maybe all he has to do is go back on. I thought the picture was touching. Turns out it was AI. I. I didn't know, like, you know.

[Dale Hellestray]

That would be a. An easy fix in a way. I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But I saw that picture in AI or otherwise. I thought. I thought it was kind of the triumph of the human spirit. These people were facing the worst of the worst of the worst. Dude picked up a violin and started to give them music that's actually kind of beautiful, but it's not real. So.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. And some of them didn't have a chance choice.

[John Holmberg]

They were forced to play the violin. I don't know if you didn't play the violin. I'm sure there were moments where they're like, pick up your viola.

[Dale Hellestray]

Just like the boxing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the guy wanted. He was a good boxer. And then. Yeah, they kind of put him in there and made him. Made him fight some guys. And they'd kill him if they lose. That was the problem. So you fought for your life for real. But I don't. I don't really think. Okay. And the one and the two was a. Like, that would be the easiest day at Auschwitz. Learn the viola. Okay. I don't have to pick up any anvils or. No, you're learning to play a stringed instrument today. I got the good job. I'm gonna play that violin. It's gonna be easy. Evidently, it wasn't real. And I don't know what that means, but Michael Rappaport's getting it for you can get canceled for AI stuff now. Did he create it? And even if he did, if I didn't know the difference until someone told me. Was it that that bad? I don't think he was making fun of anything.

[Dale Hellestray]

We appreciate the nod to the memorial, but this was a bad. This was a. AI photo. Yeah, sorry.

[John Holmberg]

That or just leave it alone.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If they were playing beach volleyball, I'd be like, hey, wait a minute. This doesn't add up. I don't think they had rec day then maybe. Because that seems like a joke. This one didn't look like a joke at all. It looks like a. Like a touching photo. It was somebody playing a violin, but they're all over them now, and I don't understand. Understand anything anymore. So is it a Fiddler on the Roof reference? That's a good point. I don't know. Is that. I don't know. He's not on the roof. I don't know. I honestly didn't See the whole thing, But I didn't think it was.

[Toledo]

Did he have the track? If I were a rich man, Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I am worried more that you can get in trouble for an AI thing that you thought was real. And I don't know who it's making.

[Toledo]

Stop. Brady's segment.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Yeah, because Brady's getting fooled by him pretty much all the time. And how many times have you been fooled and you didn't know?

[Aafion Crockett]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

He's walked away from it.

[Toledo]

To your point, very soon we're all.

[John Holmberg]

Going to be in that.

[Toledo]

In that camp, right? Everything we see.

[John Holmberg]

I have no idea. I completely got me.

[Dale Hellestray]

You know, if it makes me laugh, I'm still sure.

[John Holmberg]

But there's the danger of that generation having AI. Well, sure, if Auschwitz AI makes you laugh, Brady, you've got a bigger problem. This is a great one.

[Toledo]

Isn't Michael Rapaport that lesbian US Soccer chick?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no. That's Megan Rapinoe. And that's offensive that you confuse the two of them. AI. Michael Rapoport might be Megan Rapinoe, but, man, you can't get into this. So if you do an AI thing and you're older and then you post it on your Instagram, just know, I.

[Dale Hellestray]

Can'T believe this is happening.

[John Holmberg]

You might lose your Social Security or something. In the future, if you start dicking around with Instagram and AI, I'd say, don't do it. I again, like I've always said, and it's getting worse. All that stuff is a viper in your pocket. You think you're having fun or you think you're actually trying to make some sort of a point or that you're being important. And the next thing you know, you look. The day I get a call from the Auschwitz museum saying, I've screwed up and I didn't mean to, man. Oh, my God. You know, bad it would feel, and you can't explain it away. Then TMZ is talking about it. You're like, oh, no, I'm not posting anything ever again.

[Toledo]

You just stand on your heritage with the Auschwitz people.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not. What I'm saying is don't post a single thing ever again. You never know, years from now, like, you know, that thing you posted was fake and it offended the Auschwitz museum. I'm like, I don't even know it was fake. And now I got this to deal with. Not worth it. Keep taking pictures of your food until Africa goes. What are you guys doing? Wait a minute.

[Toledo]

They haven't yet, no.

[John Holmberg]

They haven't got the Internet yet. But when they do and they start seeing America bragging about food, it's gonna be an all out war. What is tiramisu? Do you have photos? Photos of it? Tons and tons of photos of it.

[Toledo]

Oh, it's delicious.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you should try it. You take photos of your food to rub it into us. It's not why we do it. Well, that's what it feels like. And the next thing you know, you're in a fight with Africa because you take pictures of food and people without food. I like that.

[Dale Hellestray]

After we posting of other countries food too, serving up at the little stores and stuff, they're. They're getting it back. The bowls of flies and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's your algorithm? Yeah. Look, that's all we're talking about. I don't think India and Africa care about the fly bowls, but they do care about, like, happy birthday effort over at, you know. Yeah, that steakhouse over on Ivy and whatever. And we take pictures of food, mash it up. Don't eat it all. We're photographing it all. If Africa gets hold of that, that's insulting.

[Toledo]

Hey, we're a week removed from the Competitive eating championship. 87 Twinkies.

[John Holmberg]

So we just not just ate 70 and a half hot dogs. You think Africa looks at that and goes, you know, they're playing with their food. There's groups of people over there in Ethiopia that are just wandering around picking up. Does dirt taste good to you today? It tastes bad to me.

[Toledo]

Don't be jealous. He loses the competition if he throws up.

[John Holmberg]

So I found something called the Internet. Let's look. Food, food, food, food, food, food, food. America has tons of food. This guy had 70 hot dogs in 10, 10 minutes.

[Brady Bogan]

I would like 70 glizzies in 10 minutes too.

[John Holmberg]

I have not had them in my entire life. Keep it up with your stupid posts. I feel bad for Michael Rappaport, though, because I'm not sure what his intention was, but I don't think that photo was. I don't think he was trying to be funny anyway. You got to give him a break too. He's a Knicks fan. He's been through a lot in the last month and a half.

[Toledo]

John, to go along with your point, did you see that the. The Marco Rubio AI version fooled the White House staff.

[John Holmberg]

We're all going to hell for this thing. This AI Thing's got us.

[Aafion Crockett]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Older people shouldn't mess with it. Younger people are gonna. They're gonna twist you up and knots trying to figure that out. Don't try to keep up. AI's gotcha.

[Dale Hellestray]

I I and now you can use it to the other side, too. You post something that is real, like, nope, it's AI.

[John Holmberg]

Everything's AI. I W I I watch cats videos where they make these AI cats walk around and pet dogs. And then the one where I was the saddest thing I've ever watched, there was this dog walking through a school, and all the students at the school were pigs, and they're teasing the dog, but they're not. Like, they're just oinking at him and pointing. And, like, he just puts his head down. You know, he's been ridiculed. And he walks along and this big tabby cat pets him on the head, takes him home and gives him a bath, which I think was odd. And I'm watching the whole thing, gives him a bath, feeds him and stuff. He's like, oh. And then the next day, the pig and that dog are driving around in a car, and you just hear. And they run over a pig, and then they cook and eat the pig. I'm like. And the dog's elaborate. Oh, it's amazing. It's that cat. He does all sorts of crazy stuff. He walks around like people, and he, like, saves other animals lives. And there he is cooking. He's making, like, fries and stuff. Oh, it's unreal. And I don't know if that's the same page, but it was incredibly elaborate. It moved me. And then they ran that pig over, and the next thing you know, they have this pig with an apple in its mouth. And the dog couldn't be happier. And basically, what it teaches you through the adorable use of animals is that revenge is the best medicine. And these AI cats have me completely, completely, like, I'm in. I wasn't fooled by it. I knew it wasn't real. I know there's no school for pigs, and I know cats don't give dogs baths in tubs, so it's pretty easy to figure it out. But anyway, by the way, to David Vasquez, I can't read your joke, but it's hilarious. Thank you. Just got it on the email. What do you got on the big board of musical treats? We got to go to Brett in a little bit. He's out there at the Albertsons on Care was a Carefree highway and I17. He's probably getting there right about now. Operation Hydration going on. So we'll check in with him in a minute. But in the Meantime, what do you got on the board of Musical Treats brought to you by our friends at Action Ride Shop? Get on out there. If you don't. If you had plans to. It was 104 degrees in Sedona yesterday.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oof.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So? Even biking up north a little bit.

[Dale Hellestray]

Crystals.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, There's a lot of divorced ladies doing yoga in the woods. I'm sweaty. This is hard. I don't think I want to have sex with you today, Ramon. In the woods to get over my ex husband and get my groove back. It's too hot.

[Toledo]

Does your melted crystal adversely affect your chi?

[John Holmberg]

No. But the guy who gave you the crystal in the first place will lie and say it's good luck because he's trying to bone you. Doing yoga in the woods. Here. Here's your sounding bowl. That should make your swamp box clear up and get us ready for the next move. I call it the Nasser pelvic touch. Is that good? Your husband didn't know about it?

[Dale Hellestray]

Nasser yoga?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's Nasser yoga. That's what all these divorced ladies go do. 44, 45 years old. They pick up yoga in the woods with some guy in tights. He didn't know yoga. He's just limber.

[Dale Hellestray]

Don't you modify the shirts that say Namaste NASA Nasarte?

[John Holmberg]

What's that? Oh, it's my own variation. Would you like to go out into the Sedona in the woods? I'm very limber. He's unbelievably did the splits and then he did this thing to my pelvis. My husband never did anything like that. That's why he's getting away with it.

[Toledo]

Bullet with a name for the baby Hit the floor by Bullet for my Valentine. The Hives Countdown shutdown always good Ozzy. Mr. Crowley. George Thorogood. Bad of the bone for the Maryville baby.

[John Holmberg]

That is a badass baby. I'm gonna tribute to the baby. Bad to the bone. I like that one. No, they're coming up. We'll get some more Volvo. Bad to the bone for that baby in Maryvale. So much tougher than those Gilbert teens that can't get their hair pulled without calling the police chief. A baby got shot in Maryvale yesterday. He's fine. Maryvale, you rule. I'm a big fan of Maryvale. Gilbert, take a lesson. Toughen up, buttercup. My daughter got her hair pulled at the in and out. We called the police chief. Maryville baby got shot last night. I gotta go to work. See you. See you in the afternoon. Where's the baby? He's in intensive care. He's all right. He's one of his friends from baby daycare is in there.

[Brady Bogan]

Ray.

[John Holmberg]

Ray. He got stabbed. Maryvale? You ruled a little formula didn't want. Didn't want. See the. I don't even know if that's a thing. A police chief of Maryvale going on. This is a problem. An epidemic. Babies getting shot will not be stood for. Mary. That's to going to happen. Hannah got her hair pulled by Hannah at the in n Out.

[Dale Hellestray]

Where's the police chief?

[John Holmberg]

I lost the rhinestone on my back pocket. Don't anyone move. Ah, yeah, I like this.

[Toledo]

She's no longer friends with Kaylee and Kylie.

[John Holmberg]

Bad to the bone works. This is a good one for that Maryvale baby. It's not weird.

[Aafion Crockett]

It's pretty cool actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[Aafion Crockett]

You PD Hberg's morning s been deceived.

[John Holmberg]

By an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. I check in with Brad here. I just got an email from guys. It's great show so far this morning, guys. No wonder you're the best morning show. How can anyone listen to you every day? Same old crap. Of course. Long commercial break. Great companies that do great work and give back to this community couldn't be prouder that they're on the station. Greedy capitalist pigs. Some great banger songs too. Break stuff. I want to break my radio over my head. The music's so bad, but I love it. I love you guys. I think you're the best. Now go yourselves. Sign Jay. Forget about it. That's our new Jay Foe. That's true. Thank you, Ryan. That's exactly how I felt reading J Foe's email. And hopefully at 2:05 in the morning he'll once again email some sort of return. Brett's out there this morning. Before we get to the Brady Report, he's at Albertsons and Carefree highway in the I17 and he's doing the operation hydration thing, which by what was the name of the company yesterday?

[Toledo]

Irvin Cable Communications.

[John Holmberg]

Cable Communications. Irvin Cable Communications dropped off six pallets of water yesterday. So, Brett, you have less work to do today. But I don't want that kind of attitude. I want you to push it out there and kill it for us this morning. How's it looking out there on Carefree highway and the i17? Where is he? Oh, wait. Sorry. There he is. Sorry, Brad. I didn't hit the button. Go ahead. That's all right. I'm out here working, man, and that van turns people into dicks. All right. And I'm bringing in the numbers, though. Yeah, you are. You're crushing it now. I got to give it to you. God bless. Is it going well out there this morning? I'm already slammed. The. The guys from North Phoenix, Winston Water Cooler. Philip, the owner, decided he's going to donate ate four pallets. Wow. So they showed up with a truck already, and I'm. I'm sending them to the station. I'm like, dude, I can't take that with me. But he's like, yeah, we'll haul it down there. So four more pallets from.

[Aafion Crockett]

What is it?

[John Holmberg]

Winston Water. What? Winston Water Cooler. The owner, Philip, decided to donate all that, and it's the North Phoenix location because there's a couple different locations, but he wanted to make sure it's North Phoenix. The other. The other guys around the valley haven't stepped up yet. Oh, that's fantastic. This is amazing. Yeah. So thanks to Philip and Doug, who dropped it off, and then Pexa Auto Work, the mobile detailing company Kane dropped off 100 bucks for me in an envelope. Sonoran Medical dropped off some cash or a mechanical dropped off some cash. So we're. We're rocking and rolling here, man. All right. That's a beautiful thing. I have a. I'm sorry if I seem distracted. I am in the. I'm in the middle of a domestic. What? Well, I've got a problem at home. It's about a woodpecker. I've got a woodpecker. And it isn't because the woodpecker is damaging anything around the house. It dropped its baby. And so I got a text. Will you tell Al and the yard crew not to do the backyard today? There's a fledgling woodpecker under the tree. And I emailed back. Well, yesterday. Here was the conversation I had yesterday. It was like, there was this peacock in the tree, and a little peacock was laying under the tree. And I'm like, what are you talking about? What do you mean? Like, we have peacocks in the backyard? No, what are you talking about? Did I say peacock? Yes, I meant woodpecker. Oh, right. That's a natural miss. So now there's live at the World Wildlife Zoo, or. What is this? I got this. This yard with a 1oz bird in the back, and I'm supposed to tell my yard crew not to do any work back there because Just tell them to avoid the goddamn bird.

[Dale Hellestray]

We have a nestling in the.

[John Holmberg]

So she sends a picture of Woody Woodpecker, and she goes, this doesn't. I'm like, woody was an asshole. The backyard can't wait one more week. What if the bird's still there? How long does this go on? He's in the path where they walk. Ask them to step over the bird. They're not blind. We don't have oracles in the backyard.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, if she doesn't like it, it's what?

[John Holmberg]

Brett strap a leaf blower to her back and have her do the yard herself? Damn it, I love Brett. He's one. Look, something in that house is getting blown, and it ain't me. So you better get that leaf blower on your back and walk around that backyard and get it done. If Al isn't allowed back there. Yeah, she wants me to text him. I'm like, you're home. Go outside and talk to Al. Oh, he won't listen to me. No, probably not. And neither am I. Click. Pretty. I'm texting. It's back and forth. Oh, okay. So then the last one I got. Are you cool if I do that? You're not going to beat me? Me? I hadn't honestly. I honestly hadn't thought about it until just now. No promises, but if the backyard don't get done. Yeah, it's on the table. Let's see if the company gets mad when I go. You know, at home today, there's a pretty good chance. Little domestic. I gotta get out of here. I got a woodpecker that's laying in my backyard. I gotta work around that. And I went out and I said, pick it up. Put it somewhere. Somewhere else. I'm not going to touch it. Oh, don't get me started. Yesterday, get a ladder, Put it in the tree. When we had the peacock talk, it was. When we were. There was a problem in the dog room. The dogs have their own little, like, house in the back. It's, like, not a dog house. It's supposed to be a casita or, like, a night, but it's. It's turned into the dog's paradise. They have two backyards. These dogs are spoiled beyond belief. And we go in there, and there was maggots. You ever have a maggot outbreak? They just show up, and then there's like, 80 of them. It was around the trash can there. You know, it's weird. Something happens. Something got down there. The dogs brought something in, God knows what instead of doggy doors. And stuff. So they got in there. They're maggots. The whole room had to be, like, pulled apart.

[Toledo]

Find the source.

[John Holmberg]

So, no, but everything. She's throwing everything away. And I'm like, what are you doing? What are you doing? That dying peacock we have in the backyard. They're known for that. She's throwing it. I'm like, you don't throw everything down. This is all gone. It's. And wouldn't, like, would sweep it. And then she's stomping them into the thing, and they don't die. They're rubber. It was this big mess with maggots. And then I'm hearing about the peacocks. I'm like, this is a disaster. I don't know what's going on here, but I'm not playing along anymore. So now this whole you're not gonna beat me thing. I hadn't really put that into play. Well, but you know what? Brett might be right. That might be an answer. I'm telling Al to skip the back backyard. Go ahead. Go ahead. Or. Or put some gloves on and pick that bird up and put it in a. Why do I care about this woodpecker? Its own parents left it. It's the Toledo woodpecker. It was just left to its own devices. Nope. There's. I don't understand this at all. Sorry for the. I digress.

[Toledo]

Sorry for the Brady interruption here. So, John, you're saying Megan got her peckers and cocks.

[John Holmberg]

Don't pun with me right now. I'm not in the mood. All right, Brett, you're done. I'm done? The whole conversation. Conversation's over. You can't have. You can't have a decent conversation. Conversation with these people without them going punny. All right? Brett's out there this morning. I'm sorry. I'm distracted. Carefree highway in the I17. Operation Hydration. Going strong, my friend. Knock it stiff. We'll talk to you in a little bit. And thanks to.

[Aafion Crockett]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Winston Waterworks. That was awesome. Four more pallets, guys. This thing is going nuts. I got a peacock issue. Huh? I'm telling him to skip the backyard. Why? The whole thing. Yep. They're right in the path where the guys would be walking. Move him.

[Dale Hellestray]

Shoebox.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. I can't touch him. Glove up, please. Touch him, please. What? I'm worried for the little guy. I want him to make it. Then go put your gloves on. Put him in a shoe box. Put them up on the counter for a minute. Let Al and the guys go through. Do the Yard. Then put him back. What if the mom doesn't know where he is? It's a terrible, terrible woodpecker, mom is what it is. You say you love animals. I do.

[Dale Hellestray]

If it's anything like hummingbirds, that guy was pushed out of the neck nest.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they. We have them all over the backyard. They push them out all the time, and then they watch.

[Dale Hellestray]

Basically they have a batch birds watch.

[John Holmberg]

Them, and they're like, get on your own. Stand on your own two feet. And then if you get close, they start dive bombing the woodpeckers. Oh, all birds. We got those kestrels back there.

[Toledo]

Love birds back there.

[John Holmberg]

No, they're gone. The kestrels killed and ate all those. I've got falcons. It's a safe haven. They know that nothing bad can happen to them there. And the woodpeckers and the kestrels are the only ones back there now. And they're all dick birds. We have a whole backyard of dick birds. It's like I invited all Irish birds to my house.

[Toledo]

Dick birds.

[Brady Bogan]

Pen name.

[Dale Hellestray]

You got gypsy birds.

[John Holmberg]

I just got the last one. I won't cancel. Hopefully it hides in a bush. I'm also hoping those falcons don't kill him.

[Toledo]

She's busy.

[John Holmberg]

No, look, the falcons could very well eat this bird. That's the only real concern that she should have have is that the falcons that she's harbored and loved are now going to eat the other birds that she likes. And their babies.

[Dale Hellestray]

They have to feed their babies.

[John Holmberg]

Don't start in Richard Attenborough with the circle of life in my backyard. If Snow White had it her way, nothing would die. It's crazy. I might text Al and go. Do me a favor. If you see a little bird laying on the ground, see how far far he can push it with a leaf blower.

[Brady Bogan]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

No, I just went out and looked at him. I want to cancel again. Do you? Do you. I am at work. I am at work. Oh. This is why guys in the 70s, like, get a job, get out of the house. Just. I can't take it. I'm. I. Like I was. I. I used to say, no woman of mine's gonna work. But you're right. Get a job. I'm tired of you calling me at work. So, John, you leave the house and a bunch of peckers show up. Yeah. See, this is the type of people I deal with. But you guys are no help. Will, I might have to go home.

[Dale Hellestray]

Guys, take care of it.

[John Holmberg]

You guys think you have a woodpecker problem. But your gay neighbors have just made holes in all the walls that could be like Troy and Michael might have made. It's those damn woodpeckers. How come they're all about waist height? Yeah, I don't know. Very good point. High wall. Yeah, it seems awfully circular. This is a precision pecking stop. It's time for the Brady Report. While I deal with the domestic. God forbid the person at home actually do stuff. It's time for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade Concepts. If you want your shade in your backyard and keep your dying animals safe that are just falling out of trees willy nilly, All Pro Shade can help. You can get out there and make it great. Yesterday was brutal. Touching the ground was awful. Everything was hot. Everything. So shade is an important part of your backyard. Also something I didn't think about. I've got a little area I might have to consider where when it gets to be like 115 or more, I lose my plants. No matter how much water is going on or whatever else, little shade might help that out.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oven.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because it still gets sun and stuff like that. So pretty awesome deal. So I'm looking at that too. All Pro Shade can help you out. They've been putting shade on us for 20 years. They're the best in the business. Trust them to do it the right way. AllProche.com Brady report it good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world. Hi.

[Dale Hellestray]

Happy National Pina Colada Day.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. Coconut drink.

[Dale Hellestray]

Couple of random fun facts. Wayne Gretzky is the only player to score 200 points in an NHL season. He did it four times.

[Toledo]

He's also. There's like 13 guys who hit 100 assists. He did it 11 times.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Or 13.

[John Holmberg]

You take away all of his goals. He's still the leading scorer in hockey with just assists. It's unreal. His number of assists is. Ovechkin just passed him for most goals and he's still 800 plus points behind him total because he's nowhere near him in assists. And. And can you just pass Gretzky? Be like two.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

He's got like 807 goals or something like that. And he's like a thousand points behind.

[Dale Hellestray]

The busiest Domino's Pizza location in the world is the one right outside of the Marine Base Camp Lejeune in North Carolina.

[Aafion Crockett]

Oh man.

[John Holmberg]

You don't drink the water there.

[Dale Hellestray]

The white dashed lines the dog highway. How long do you think they are each?

[John Holmberg]

Each line? Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Two feet.

[Toledo]

Three feet.

[Dale Hellestray]

Funny, a lot of people say two.

[John Holmberg]

10Ft long each on the freeways. Yeah, because I'm looking at. I thought like all right, highway lines. That's not right.

[Dale Hellestray]

The white ones are 10ft.

[John Holmberg]

If they're white, they're 10ft.

[Toledo]

It's a long one. Look out there. Those are long. I don't know if that's. That's not a highway.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean I'm looking at the road. You're right. I never really paid attention along the white lines. Up your nose is through your veins. White lines. Vision, dreams of passion. 10ft of white lines. Maryvale just woke up. What?

[Dale Hellestray]

Only 4% of the calls routed to fire departments in the U. S are for actual fires. Majority of the calls are medical emergency.

[John Holmberg]

Emergency. They handle everything. Car wrecks, fire department. They're busy.

[Dale Hellestray]

Rumor has it that Apple's upcoming iOS 26 update will include a feature that detects if you're having phone sex over facetime. It'll pause your camera and a warning screen pops up that says you may be showing something sensitive. If you feel uncomfortable where you should end the call then there are two buttons. Resume audio and video or end call.

[John Holmberg]

Supposed to be a security hold on. It's basically the are you sure of like committing to a buy double click to buy is now before you jerk off all over yourself.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure you know what the phone is right? I don't really to want to do this if I'm in the middle of jerking off. The phone ain't stopping and some people.

[Dale Hellestray]

Are creeped out that Apple knowing when you're being naughty.

[Toledo]

Oh yeah, they'll. They'll have all that they know. They already know for me when you're closing rings on your. On your iwatch and you're laying down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah yeah. The my naughty is pretty easy to find. It's like when I search 35 different videos for Pornhub in a 10 minute span.

[Toledo]

You're saying it's a little obvious?

[John Holmberg]

It's fairly obvious what I'm about to do.

[Dale Hellestray]

There's this woman in San Jose, California. She's been getting hundreds of Amazon packages over the past year. All of them contain the same thing. Oversized fake leather car seat covers which are made in China. They're scattered all. All over a property. She can't even. It can't even. None of them fit in her car seat to begin with.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, what? They just threw them in her yard.

[Dale Hellestray]

These packages keep arriving to her house.

[John Holmberg]

Does she want them?

[Dale Hellestray]

She complained to Amazon.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on though. But she Tried them out first.

[Toledo]

Apparently, she said one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see. She might have done what I do and thought she ordered one.

[Dale Hellestray]

She contacted the Amazon arrived. They promised her the deliveries would stop, but they didn't. They told her to dispose of the boxes herself or donate them. The woman said she couldn't afford to do that. And no charity wants hundreds of fake leather car covers, car seat covers. Then she contacted local news. They looked into it. Turns out that Amazon, the Amazon seller was in China. And they randomly put her address as the return address because they wouldn't have to pay to have the large boxes sent all the way back to China. Once that story aired on the news, Amazon finally sent a truck over to her house to pick up all the boxes. Hundreds of them.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe that's what happened with me in those cabana clothes. Could have sworn I only ordered a couple and it was 40.

[Toledo]

I think you're on the.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, I got a. Kyle's right. He goes, so wait a second. My phone's gonna C block now. Apple's gonna make the iPhone C blocker app, and they already have. And it's probably also covering for you.

[Dale Hellestray]

Just in case you're. You know.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a bad idea. It's that drunk text thing.

[Dale Hellestray]

Is it for the. You know, also, like, if you're FaceTiming at all. Well, that's like one of people, what I'm saying. Yeah, like when they do the office.

[Toledo]

Oh, like Zoom, where you haven't.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, the Zoom call.

[Toledo]

I don't think you can face it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Would it warn you on that?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. But, like, you're saying you're jerking off at an office meeting.

[Dale Hellestray]

The guy's joining, doesn't realize he's still on the Oris. You know, people are getting busted on. We've had that.

[Toledo]

Where they're naked or whatever.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No phone's stopping you from being that dumb. If you're jerking off and you're still signed up for your Zoom meeting and you don't notice the other squares and they're so staring at you.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's just supposed to be my head.

[John Holmberg]

What are you jerking off for? I couldn't help it. I know that people jerk off during meetings and stuff, but if you get caught doing that, it's not your phone's fault for not warning you. Remember, they had that app there for a minute that said, are you sure? With the drunk text, anything that came after 1:30, it knows where you are.

[Toledo]

So if now you can edit.

[John Holmberg]

Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. You can also Delete it and hope they didn't see it. Oh, I did. There's a. There's a thing that says undo undo text, but it tells the person that you unsent something.

[Toledo]

Oh, it does?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because I did that with Frank yesterday. I was texting my buddy Colin. I got it back and forth and accidentally sent Frank the. What I meant sent to Colin made no sense. And I just did undo text, and he goes, what did you delete? Why aren't you talking to me like he was? I'm. Like, I sent the wrong thing to wrong guy. It was a picture of my. I'm jerking off. I can't lie to you.

[Brady Bogan]

But if.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if you're facing timing. Wait a minute.

[Toledo]

You meant to share a picture of your dick with Colin?

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We just didn't give it to Frank. Yeah, Colin was asking about if it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Was talking about woodpeckers again.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I needed to see if it was infected. No punning. I'm done with the puns. It's a real domestic.

[Dale Hellestray]

There's a new study out of the Ohio State university that shows 9% of young adult workers in their 30s will.

[John Holmberg]

Be raped at Ohio State University.

[Dale Hellestray]

Use alcohol, marijuana, marijuana or harder drugs like cocaine while on the job.

[Toledo]

Push down all the rapes.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Then they have Ohio State have something to blame all their rapes on.

[Dale Hellestray]

Say 6% it's alcohol. 3% marijuana. 1% are taking cocaine or other hard drugs.

[John Holmberg]

I watched the Scarlet and Gray scrimmage the other day, Brady. I heard the crowd go, oh, wait, watch the documentary. They should burn the school down. Don't watch the documentary. No, watch it. They should burn the school down. The guy I know, Jeff, he's a big Ohio State guy. And I said, have you seen the documentary? We were having lunch at Rosie's last week.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And we're sitting at the bar. And he said, no, I haven't. He goes, but I've heard friends talk about it. And he goes, they're Ohio State fans. He goes, I'm not like them. Like, what do you mean? He goes, I can't defend it. And I'm like, oh, if you're a real Ohio State fan, that's how they're going to determine whether or not you're a true blue, scarlet, gray or not. And then, sure enough, as we're there, some big fat guy walks in and he's wearing an Ohio State T shirt, and he sits at the other end of the bar. Like, look at him. It's Tuesday at 11. O' clock in the afternoon in his Ohio State gear, just guzzling beers. We're at least on vacation. And he started laughing. And he gives him an oh. And the guy goes, oh, like, yeah, he's into. He's defending rape. That's who you're getting in bed with. Oh, that documentary is an eye opener.

[Dale Hellestray]

There's a Detroit cop that got arrested, stole 600 bucks from Percy, pulled over, didn't know his body cam was on. Oops, Removed her from the car. I need you to step outside the car while I search the car.

[John Holmberg]

And it showed him lifting up the purse. Oh, so that's when we need the cameras to be C blockers.

[Dale Hellestray]

And that's what the the chief was basically saying. This is a good reason why we have the cameras.

[John Holmberg]

Protects everybody. That's why I like when OP live goes to a thing and people hold up their phones. I'm filming all this. And the guys are like, so am I. I want your badge number. And he gives it to him. Like, here, take a picture of it. I like, I'm filming all of this. My badge number is on the screen. I'm gonna show this to your superiors. They watch everything I do. What do you talking about?

[Dale Hellestray]

46 year old Jesse Lawrence Hale was recently treated at a hospital in Logan, Utah for an undisclosed ailment. And he left his phone behind. That was bad news for Jesse because as soon as the hospital workers found it, they called the cops. Turned out his phone was loaded with underage porn. Wouldn't have known it it because the phone was locked, but he made one of the images his wallpaper.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God.

[Dale Hellestray]

They saw it on the lock screen. Reported last reported him last Thursday. He got arrested. Walked into the police station on Monday and asked about the phone. He claimed someone had sent him the photo.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dale Hellestray]

Said he should have deleted it, but they also said it would be nice to just pay a fine or take a class instead of doing jail time.

[John Holmberg]

Can I take a class to get out of this?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, but to search his phone and found 20 illegal photos on it. At that point, he asked them to just not tell his mom.

[John Holmberg]

So hold on.

[Dale Hellestray]

46 years old?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Don't tell my mommy.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So in this same report, my phone knows to tell me, hey, you're jerking off and that my phone a problem. But it can't tell me that's child porn. Probably not make that your screensaver, but it'll let me know you might be doing some sensitive stuff here on your facetime. You sure about this? But it takes four Steps to use as wallpaper. As both. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm gonna make it black and white. It's gonna be artistic.

[Toledo]

It's my favorite one. I have to see it all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Ridiculous.

[Dale Hellestray]

Finally, the. The Tropical Fruit.com ranked the 10 best cereals of all time.

[John Holmberg]

Those are the people that I would have asked, so. Yeah, go ahead. Okay. What are the tropical fruit people? It's going to be Froot Loops.

[Toledo]

Has to be.

[John Holmberg]

They love tropical fruit. That's like the only thing they're going.

[Dale Hellestray]

To Fruit Loops is number nine.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand how the tropical fruit people can be so bougie.

[Toledo]

This Apple Jacks in there.

[John Holmberg]

Oops. All Berries.

[Dale Hellestray]

You got number 10, Frosted Flakes. Number nine, Fruit Loops. Number eight, Lucky Charms.

[Toledo]

Do you like the all berries?

[John Holmberg]

No. Yeah.

[Toledo]

No one does.

[Dale Hellestray]

Number seven, Wheaties.

[Aafion Crockett]

No.

[Toledo]

Is this best selling?

[Dale Hellestray]

Number six, Captain Crunch. Crunch Berries. Number five, Honeycomb. Number four, Cinnamon Life. Number three, Fruity Pepper Pebbles.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go.

[Dale Hellestray]

Number two, Cocoa Krispies.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting.

[Dale Hellestray]

Number one, Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

[John Holmberg]

It's good. All right. That's not a bad list. I don't like the berry one, but I figured the fruit people would be a little fruitier. Hey, I did. Not in a gay way. Although if you're part of the fruit conglomerate and you run around with that car.

[Toledo]

Tropical fruit dot com.

[John Holmberg]

I'm with Tropical fruit dot com. Oh, from the Caribbean.

[Toledo]

Deceptive.

[John Holmberg]

You're one the of the kids from St. John's why do you say that? I thought you said you were a tropical fruit. I'm sorry, I misunderstood.

[Dale Hellestray]

Tricks not on the list.

[John Holmberg]

Trix.

[Dale Hellestray]

Golden Grahams.

[Toledo]

Golden Grams.

[John Holmberg]

Golden Graham's. Very good. But between Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Golden Grams.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're going with.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Someone also mentioned the CTC Honey Bunches of Oats. Of oats? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No. Or the Honey Cheerios.

[Dale Hellestray]

No. They were saying that one.

[John Holmberg]

Honey, when you say someone, who are you talking about on the list? You've had this discussion with other people.

[Dale Hellestray]

And there were people. There were people that.

[John Holmberg]

Looking at his phone, I'm like, are you getting immediate response to this through your group? Tropical Fruit Dot com. Go there a lot.

[Dale Hellestray]

Someone else was pissed that Grape Nuts wasn't on there.

[John Holmberg]

I go there a lot to see if the enemy is up to anything. I don't like those tropical fruit.comers. only worse than that is rolling Veg. Don't Google that.

[Dale Hellestray]

Got a couple of Brady videos.

[Aafion Crockett]

Brady accidentally stumbled upon that.

[John Holmberg]

Rolling. Vegetables. Disgusting. Let's take a. What? Why are they all Limping. What's wrong with them? That one can barely talk.

[Toledo]

Where's the vets?

[John Holmberg]

He would. Vegetable studio. That's it. All right.

[Dale Hellestray]

You'll like this one. This is a tough one. On the back. We're in Saudi Arabia pulling under a bridge. This guy doesn't make the call.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't lean. Oh, he's down into the. He's in the back of a truck. They're trying, and it's way too high. And they got a duck to go under this little overpass. And the one guy doesn't do it, just breaks his spine. Oh, yeah, it just shatters us. It hits him in the shoulder square and just crumbles his spine up. Neck is broken, spine is broken. I like the somber Middle Eastern music they use for that. I didn't know they had love songs in Afghanistan.

[Toledo]

Just two months ago in May.

[John Holmberg]

Way to go. So he's back to work.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I've been holding on this waiting.

[John Holmberg]

To see if he's all right or not. All right. Weightlifting at Michigan State.

[Dale Hellestray]

Little backyard leg day.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Toledo]

Why Michigan State?

[John Holmberg]

Guy's got a Michigan State shirt on. All right. He's doing a little squat. Now it's on his back. Oh, my God. It knocks him down. Now it's on his neck. His spotter does nothing.

[Dale Hellestray]

It has no end.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. I'm not. There you go. It smashes his head with it. And the spotter does nothing.

[Dale Hellestray]

Spotters need a little work.

[John Holmberg]

He just grabbed his waist while the weight was crushing his head. Tried to pull him out from under. They might have been overdoing it.

[Dale Hellestray]

All right, last one's guy hot dogging with his shotgun.

[John Holmberg]

He's walking around spinning. Oh, he dropped it and it just blew his pants off. I've never seen anything like that. So lucky. That's how badass that neighborhood is. Listen to the reaction.

[Dale Hellestray]

Nobody moved.

[John Holmberg]

They laughed. There's children. Guy drops a shotgun.

[Toledo]

Plus, it's like a border checkpoint, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

Drops a shotgun, blows his own pants off. The local children are amused. You know what?

[Dale Hellestray]

I kept listening. I'm wondering if they threw that in there.

[John Holmberg]

Let. No you, Gilbert. You've made nothing but babies. Let me hear it one more time. Gun goes off, pants come down. Local kids are loving. That is awesome. Meanwhile, I gotta sit and listen to the police chief feign worry that a girl got her hair pulled at the In N Out in Gilbert because they won't leave it off the news every time something stupid happens to one of their babies. Teen violence is on the Rise. These kids are laughing at a shotgun blast where no one got hurt. They didn't even call the police. You babies. I like that one a lot. I'm kind of glad Brett's not here. We'll check in with Brett in a little bit. He's over at Albertsons. He's doing good things. Operation Hydration is flying along this summer. We were worried when we came up with the idea for getting a million bottles to the Phoenix rescue mission, but, man, oh, man. Six pallets yesterday, four more today. I don't even know how many bottles 10 pallets is, but we've gotten. That's probably. We're probably well past 20 or 30.

[Toledo]

I think the first pickup from the mission when we first started it was. Was 10 pallets total.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. When they had the first one.

[Toledo]

Yeah, yeah, that was. First one way back in.

[John Holmberg]

All right, so we're. We're. It's strong. Like, what we're doing is strong. And that's just the stuff in the lobby, let alone the trucks that have dropped off on their own. All right. Operation Hydration this morning, and Brett's been getting crushed, which is great. Carefree highway and the i17. You got a company that wants to help out. We love that. If you just want to be an individual dropping a couple of cases, Cases off, everything goes to the same place, and it's an awesome deal. We'll talk to Brett next. There goes your Brady report.

[Brady Bogan]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

Brett is out there this morning. He is hanging out for Operation Hydration. He's on Carefree highway in the I17 at the Albertsons. Had a huge morning. We got people dropping stuff off right now here at the station. Brett, these guys have dropped off 16 cases of water. They just came by and dropped. Oh, man. We're getting killed today. This is great. How's it going out there where you are? We're crushing it up here. A lot of people, like, a lot of people are just dropping off some envelopes and stuff because, you know, I gotta get to work and I gotta go fight that 17. Yeah, but like I said, I mean, we. We got crushed with the four pallets coming by earlier. Everybody's dropping off cash, so, you know, it was worth me fighting that west side I17 traffic to get up here. Made it all worth it. That's right. You know how many with captured ladies you passed to get to this Albertsons? Doing what I can, buddy. Right. Brett, you're a good man. You didn't even. You didn't even stop for the screaming. Like, like everyone else in the West Valley as you drove past another shed with a. A hostage in it. It's the West Valley, like a day that ends in wide. That's exactly right. And you knew it. And you went all the way out there and look at the good it's doing. If philanthropic needs have been met. And you're doing great. You still got some Vol beaten Pantera tickets. You're gonna be out there for another 30 minutes. Minutes or so. Truck's probably. It's. It's getting there. I gotta. I still gotta go back in and buy some more. More water because like I said, everybody's just dropping off money. Let's see. Collins, tree trimming dropped off a bunch of water for us, so taking care of him. And you know, we gotta thank obviously our friends over at Learning Row Amco and of course Safeway and Albertsons because they're helping us out a lot with this. So it's a Carefree highway and I17, but come on up and drop off some water with it. There you go. Well done. My friend Brett's out there till about nine, so get on out there, help him out. And he's doing a nice thing in very hot weather for good people. Phoenix rescue mission gets it all. Thanks, Brett. Yep. All right, we'll see you. And thanks to you guys as well. That's very nice that we can still be the only radio station in town that says, hey, can you help us out? And it works. You know, we had a thing the other day, one of the stations that won't be mentioned, that they tried to do something and I thought it was wonderful. Full. And they had like 20. 20 people. So they gotta have actors trying. You gotta have an active audience. You have an. Hey, I don't, I don't. Look, if you're pushing for something, every little bit counts. But you want things to get bigger. This is an awesome thing. We have an active audience who participates with us. And I couldn't thank enough for that. They're good people.

[Dale Hellestray]

30,000 bottle day so far. Pacing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Is that what you did the math on the Palace? Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

If there were 16 pallets and then some.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we have 16. We had six pallets yesterday, four today, and then 16 cases. That's what you're. Oh, 16 pallets.

[Dale Hellestray]

No. So we're. Good.

[John Holmberg]

Lord, if somebody's dropped 10,000. We had a lot of bottles on our way to a million. And then you start to realize how hard that's going to be. Eh, Might overshot A little bit. But you know what? Every bottle matters. And that's what's cool. Aon Crockett is here. This dude is brilliant. Every time Aon's here, we. I never make him do his impressions. And he's one of the best impression out there. But we always get off on a topic.

[Dale Hellestray]

Today's the day.

[John Holmberg]

Today I'm focusing on Aeon. Surprise. Every time. Like last time. Like, oh, you do a great. At the end. I know. I know him. But we got off on all sorts of stupid stuff last time he was here. And silly, because P. Diddy's thing had just started. So we were talking about. He was at a white party, lost track of time. Next thing you know, he's done one or two we gotta revisit. Oh, now and see. And then we're gonna miss it again because you're really not getting. Is Afion's ability to do some. He's the best Chris Robin I've ever heard. And Chris Rock impressions aren't like, super hard. As someone who does it, he is. It's the best I've ever heard. It's so good. Really good. Nathan Crockett's coming in here next. It's 98. Hey. It's not weird.

[Aafion Crockett]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[Aafion Crockett]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. All right, off we go. Aon Crockett is here. He's at Stand Up Live Tonight, tomorrow and Saturday, standuplive.com. and I apologize to you because you're. You're a very talented man. You do tons of impressions. I always. I admire impressions. I love impressions.

[Aafion Crockett]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

And you do a ton of them. And you've been here a bunch of times. And every single time, either P. Diddy's doing something stupid. And you had a story about that last time you were here. It was right when all that stuff started to go.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And. And then you broke out. Like, kind of your fault. One of the first things you said was, I was at a white party.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah. It wasn't my fault. It's just history.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

So I lost all train of thought going. You're not doing any Chris Rock today. We're going right into this. What happened at the white party? And nothing. You were at a. Like a tame one. Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah. I was at a. A day. A day White party. And. And as I said out loud.

[John Holmberg]

D, E, Y or day. White party.

[Aafion Crockett]

I say it out loud. You can take that. How you want to take. Was either a whole bunch of white people or I was at a whole day.

[John Holmberg]

White.

[Aafion Crockett]

White party with black people dressed in white clothes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

However you want to flip. Was more like a cookout. You know what I mean?

[John Holmberg]

Okay. That's.

[Aafion Crockett]

You've heard the Boots on the Ground song now. Where everybody. Where them fans at? It was one of them. A lot of line dancing on the grass of a Beverly Hills mansion, but nothing to report.

[John Holmberg]

Like, you were never worried about getting called into court.

[Aafion Crockett]

Absolutely nothing. I wasn't worried about getting called into court or into somebody's bedroom. Like, you know, I keep my perfect.

[John Holmberg]

You kept it together.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah. I keep my rear end to myself. You know, that's kind of been a practice.

[John Holmberg]

You know what?

[Aafion Crockett]

It's been a practice.

[John Holmberg]

You should speak at elementary schools with that as the theme. Keep your rear end yourself. Kids.

[Dale Hellestray]

Kids.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, That's a key.

[Aafion Crockett]

Stranger Dangers, which you should say if a grown man offers you baby oil in a. In a comfortable bed at a party.

[John Holmberg]

It's a fact. I don't want to go to bed at any party I've ever been to. That's a fact.

[Aafion Crockett]

Why would you want to go to bed?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, I mean. Yeah, we both. We both made the mistake.

[Brady Bogan]

I know.

[Aafion Crockett]

Depending on where you might be, you. You know, you might take a nice guy's trip to Puerto Rico. Doctor. I don't know. You know, it might be appropriate.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Aafion Crockett]

Then.

[John Holmberg]

But you have that moment where the other guy that's with you goes, can I come to. And that's when I draw lines. I am a one boner per room guy.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's my rule.

[Aafion Crockett]

Nah, you can't. You can't come to. Or come to.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Aafion Crockett]

So we're going to go ahead and entendre that and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So last time you were here, that.

[Dale Hellestray]

Was a glizzy fest.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. It was ridiculous. Wings.

[Aafion Crockett]

I'm laughing that you know the term glizzy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

That's crazy.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't look like a guy who would know glizzy.

[Aafion Crockett]

No, you don't.

[John Holmberg]

Except for think about it. Yeah. Think about it. He kind of does. He's gonna learn all the terminology for food.

[Aafion Crockett]

Oh, we own it now, right?

[John Holmberg]

He's not gonna pass up here in glizzy and watch it.

[Dale Hellestray]

I gotta know.

[John Holmberg]

Is that how you order that? He's gonna learn the secret code and that's it.

[Aafion Crockett]

But in hip Hop Glizzy is code for other things.

[John Holmberg]

The fact that he's.

[Aafion Crockett]

He used it perfectly.

[Dale Hellestray]

Alexander's sheet, which is interesting because how it turned into a hot dog.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Aafion Crockett]

Right. Weird, Right?

[John Holmberg]

Right. Cylindrical item. It kind of makes sense in its own weird way. But you haven't been anything that could pop up in the news later, like, years from now. You're not waiting, are you one of the. Yeah. You have something that you put. You posted. Somebody sent me because I had just said similar things, and they said, this guy feels the same as you. And I'm like, oh, that's a Crockett. And it was a post that said, money can't solve all your problems. And you just said, yes, it can.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I said, it solves all your problems. And you know who says that? Poor people.

[Aafion Crockett]

Poor people say it. And people who have gotten a lot of money and don't know what to do with it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

Because there's some people that will never be satisfied. And if you're not satisfied with $100 in your pocket, you won't be satisfied with 100 million. You're always going to be looking for the next 100 million and the next and the next and the next. But I'm good with 100 million.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It would solve a lot of issues.

[Aafion Crockett]

All my issues. I'm going to be honest with you, except some of my family. Family members. 100 million is gonna do it for me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

It'll keep it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I always hate those. I hate those people that say, like, they'll watch a lottery winner and the news will jump on this when a lottery guy blows his whole life.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they're like, well, that happens most of the time, but. No, it doesn't. So many people win the lottery and are super happy afterwards, and people who didn't win want them to be miserable, so they point that out. Money, money, money solves all your problems.

[Dale Hellestray]

Just the point of that. You're gonna have problems no matter what. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm out of caviar problems. Yeah. So they sent it to me. I'm like, yeah, he's right. You're the only one that says it.

[Aafion Crockett]

Different level, different devil.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you want more.

[Aafion Crockett]

I want more.

[John Holmberg]

I want it all.

[Aafion Crockett]

Listen, man, I'll take more money every day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

Just give me more money. Just give me more money. Because here's the thing.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'll tell you when to stop.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say when.

[Aafion Crockett]

Keep pouring.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Not saying when.

[Aafion Crockett]

The thing is this. With. With money. Just give it to me every day.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty. That's. Yeah. That's the whole point is if I give it to me, I'm every day. There won't be a bad day in that.

[Dale Hellestray]

There's.

[John Holmberg]

The only bad day is the day you don't give it to me.

[Aafion Crockett]

That's the only.

[John Holmberg]

That is true.

[Dale Hellestray]

Like, if I were to hand you a hundred dollar bill every day, would you. Like, would that bum you?

[John Holmberg]

Would I ever. Not one day would I ever not look forward to seeing.

[Aafion Crockett]

I'm not going to feel disrespected.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

In that. That's. It's a good day.

[John Holmberg]

All right, now I've got here in the diddy thing. I read an article yesterday about the diddy thing where the male prostitutes are now worried about their future. And then I noticed that they all were nickname.

[Aafion Crockett]

Because the Punisher, they're worried about their future in their business. Yeah, they want to stay in the business.

[John Holmberg]

They're worried that they have a target on their back, I think. Which they did in the first place. I think literally. Literally had a target on their back.

[Aafion Crockett]

A target and a man on it. Glizzy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's their. Their. The nickname of the guy talking is like, I don't want anybody to know who I am. And then he calls himself the Punisher. I don't know if females have that kind of like the vice grip. Do they have nickname names, too? Who? Prostitutes, women. They don't. Do they?

[Aafion Crockett]

Why don't frequent?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I was just asking. You've been to white parties. I was trying to trap you. Right.

[Aafion Crockett]

I know what to spend my money on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I was trying to sting you on that. You walked right through it.

[Aafion Crockett]

Damn it.

[John Holmberg]

You were fast.

[Dale Hellestray]

Have you been with the Cave yet?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the Cave, the nicknames.

[Dale Hellestray]

I mean, like, what?

[John Holmberg]

Big Montana, me and all my guys.

[Aafion Crockett]

Can answer that one. It's cavernous.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Have you met Echo, the female prostitute? We have the meats was say, like. Yeah, I don't get it.

[Aafion Crockett]

We call her Arby's.

[John Holmberg]

If you're on crockets at Stand Up Live tonight, tomorrow and Saturday. All right, can you do. I hate to do this to you. Can you do the Chris Rock.

[Aafion Crockett]

You know what? I spoke to Chris Rock at a party one day recently, and I said, hey, man, does it ever offend you that I do the impression? He said, come on, man, I'm famous, man. Okay, you're supposed to. Okay, you're supposed to. Everybody know who I am, so. No, I'm getting offended, man. Keep doing it, man. Get your money, man.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. It's perfect.

[Aafion Crockett]

Crazy, man.

[John Holmberg]

It's perfect.

[Aafion Crockett]

Crazy.

[John Holmberg]

No one else should do it. I'm done with it. I'll never do it again.

[Aafion Crockett]

No, look, there's some. There's some good ones out there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's good ones.

[Aafion Crockett]

I'm the originator of that version.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's perfect.

[Aafion Crockett]

And I always go on record as to say I learned how to do Chris Rotten impression from Sean Wayans when they hosted the MTV Video VMAs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

Him and Mark. Marlon. Sean opened up the show with doing Chris Rock. And it was the most brilliant, really, seven, eight minutes of opening dialogue ever. He's doing Chris Rock type jokes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

You didn't see it.

[John Holmberg]

Just YouTube it as an impression. He's doing Chris's act, only not only new material.

[Aafion Crockett]

100%.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Aafion Crockett]

Oh, my God. And he's calling out people in the audience like Britney Spears and all of them, Britney Spears. Britney Spears is here again.

[John Holmberg]

Oops.

[Aafion Crockett]

I did it again. Well, tell me what you did the first time. You can't sing. You know, you just all. I'm editing. I'm editing because I'm on the air, but Google it. Shawn Wayans, Chris Rock.

[John Holmberg]

And that was the one that unlocked it for you.

[Aafion Crockett]

That. That's the one that made me say, oh, that's how you do it. And that's my. One of my big brothers. So, you know, he. He has no issues with that.

[John Holmberg]

And here's the thing about you that people may not know, and this may sound insulting. It's not meant to.

[Aafion Crockett]

Go ahead, man.

[John Holmberg]

Insult me. Famous with famous people. You're probably more famous with famous people than you are us regulars.

[Aafion Crockett]

That's crazy. That's how accurate that is.

[John Holmberg]

It's weird because I see, like, every famous person. I go, Afian Crockett. I know. And I've seen you in videos with Will Smith and hanging out with these guys. And all these people are, like, best friends with you. And I'm like, why aren't you the biggest star in the world? Because you are amongst the stars.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah. Because of the baby oil.

[John Holmberg]

Because you wouldn't do it. Not enough. You wouldn't blow.

[Aafion Crockett]

Don't do the baby oil.

[John Holmberg]

You refused to blow them.

[Aafion Crockett]

I'm comfortable being. Being unblowable and in my, you know, marginal public thing.

[John Holmberg]

You've had wonderful success.

[Aafion Crockett]

I've had great success.

[John Holmberg]

You are incredibly famous.

[Dale Hellestray]

I like this.

[Aafion Crockett]

Great.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

Right. But sure, I'm not Kevin Hart level. Right. But he's blown too many guys don't say that. I can't. That's my friend.

[John Holmberg]

I say, of course he is. You're famous.

[Aafion Crockett]

Theme Kevin Hart. Like that. Yeah. I don't know why that is. I do have. I do have friends in high places.

[John Holmberg]

I saw you with Larry David. I'm like a Fen Crockett. Knows everything. Everybody. Everybody loves you. And, like, you should be the most famous guy in the. In the world.

[Aafion Crockett]

I should be. But you know what? At this point, just give me the money.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Just keep paying.

[Aafion Crockett]

I am content with just the money and I. And being able to disappear. Give me 100 million.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

You'll probably never see me up here again.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Would you rather be like that and have the respect of all your peers beyond, like, measure, or have like, you know, a meteoric rise and fall? A ton of money?

[Aafion Crockett]

I would. You said a ton of money.

[John Holmberg]

You get a ton of money.

[Aafion Crockett]

The respect of money.

[John Holmberg]

No, you lose. Nobody, nobody famous or in your peer group likes you. They don't care. But you. I'm not like, going to say Dane Cook, but we're all talking about it like his. I like Dane Cook, but we all know what happened. It was above his pay grade. He's been in here since, and he's like, that was too much for me to handle. I didn't know I was doing, like, he had that jump to, holy crap, crazy. And then I don't.

[Aafion Crockett]

I don't want to rise and fall because if you notice anything about my career, I've been in the game since 95.

[John Holmberg]

It's been a long time.

[Aafion Crockett]

30 years.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

Right. And so I've been able to progress every year and still be in the game and. And like you said, gain the respect of the top dogs in the game. So it's like, crazy. I'm still here. My journey is one of consistency. So I'd rather just have that. Like, I don't need it all. Yeah. Bernie Mac said that one time in an interview. He said, I don't want to be really hot for two years and then be not unknown again. I would rather be lukewarm for 20, 30 years. Because lukewarm means you're still here, you're still getting jobs, you're still halfway through it.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think afion in 1997 was. Would have said that?

[Aafion Crockett]

I don't think so. Aon in 1997 would have been like, I want to be the biggest star in the world. But that's. That's youthful, no matter how long it takes. Naivete.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's dumb. Yeah, it turns out it's dumb because.

[Aafion Crockett]

What happens is you start to meet these people who are at the top of the food chain and they're not always happy. Not saying all of them are, but they're not all. It's not what it's cracked up to be.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no. It's pressure.

[Dale Hellestray]

And sometimes though, something can pop that you'd never think. And all of a sudden it. That's that two year run where whether it's a character or something and you're pigeonholed in that.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's what Dan Cook said when he was here that time. He goes, dude, I was just doing my act. And the next thing you know it was exploding. And he goes, I didn't know that it was going to do that. And it went crazy. And then you start to think about the pressure to maintain that it's impossible. Right. So you can't do it.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah, well, it depends on where you are in life. I'm not going to say that it's impossible to maintain. It's just for some people, it's just a different. We're all always in different places, places in life we don't know what someone's dealing with mentally, family wise. We just don't know. So I try not to judge anybody. It can happen to anybody.

[John Holmberg]

But that's where we're different.

[Aafion Crockett]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Because I judge everybody immediately. Almost immediately.

[Aafion Crockett]

You definitely don't care.

[John Holmberg]

I don't.

[Aafion Crockett]

And I love that about you. You don't care. I have so much care that I still carry until I get on stage. When I'm on stage, I've seen that I'm a different person. I've seen that I go balls out on stage, stage. But in my day to day life, I'm very politically correct.

[John Holmberg]

You had something on your Instagram that was about a woman who you asked, what do you want more from men? And I, I paused it like, I haven't done that in a long time. The lady said, more energy.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he goes, what? And she was like, what?

[Aafion Crockett]

And I was very kind.

[John Holmberg]

You were super nice at first.

[Aafion Crockett]

I want to know what you, what.

[John Holmberg]

The context was sexual or like when.

[Aafion Crockett]

You walk in the room, you want him to have more energy in greeting you. She said, nah, more energy in the bed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

So then I'm still politically correct. I say, okay, is your man a hard working man? Because I'm thinking he doesn't have the energy because he's, he's bringing home the bacon.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

She's like, well, I'M single. But. And that's when it went.

[John Holmberg]

It was over. It was over. It's like, wait a minute. You want more energy in the bed and you're. And you're single. Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

Get a man in the bed first.

[John Holmberg]

The line I love the most was, you're getting low energy. Club dick. That's your fault.

[Aafion Crockett]

That is on you.

[John Holmberg]

You. You getting low energy from this empathetic aon you're getting here. Goes away for about 90 minutes on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Down a street.

[Dale Hellestray]

Who was the guy we were talking about earlier this week that he passed away, but he would break down the women.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. What the hell was his name? Kevin something. He was a dude.

[Aafion Crockett]

Kevin Samuels.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, I love Kevin Samuels.

[Aafion Crockett]

No, Kevin Samuels.

[John Holmberg]

I just rediscovered Kevin Samuels here recently, and I started to get into that hole, and I'm like, my God, this is a dude.

[Aafion Crockett]

So. Which I don't realize. I used to do an impression of a version of him during the pandemic.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really?

[Aafion Crockett]

Because he was always on IG Live.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

And had this big following and giving relationship advice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

So I created this character, Dr. Devin Fontaine, who had the glasses and the gray beard.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

But just way more flamboyant than.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

Kevin Samuels. But it was all based on where.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What he was doing.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah. What he was doing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Yeah. I've just gotten into that. But I've had moments and that I've been.

[Dale Hellestray]

What size dress are you?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a great.

[Aafion Crockett]

People don't like the truth.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Aafion Crockett]

And you might. You might listen to him and say, man, that's. That's harsh. That's. But he's you. He just doesn't care.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You have to have a little of that. Well, if you're gonna. If you're gonna ask the question.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's stating reality in the fact that.

[John Holmberg]

I can give you the answer.

[Dale Hellestray]

See yourself as an eight.

[John Holmberg]

You're not. Yeah. But I can give you the answer you want or I can give you the truth.

[Aafion Crockett]

Which is it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. You pick it, because I'm giving you one. And if you.

[Aafion Crockett]

There's a reason why you're on my phone right now.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Aafion Crockett]

With these relationship issues.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lady who called us the other day, and she said. She's 54. And she said something. And I said, well, because she was bragging about how good she looks. I'm like, what is it about you that looks so good? And she goes, I have great breasts. And I'm like, they've been augmented. And she goes, no, they're really big in their natural. I'm like, well, they're 54. Nothing. 54 year old. That has not been touched up. Hold on.

[Aafion Crockett]

Do we have time to take a caller?

[John Holmberg]

Would you like to. Would you like relationship advice with a fee on Crockett?

[Aafion Crockett]

All right, do it.

[John Holmberg]

We can do that. 585-900. If you want a feon to fix it, he can do that. You're going to get a call. It's not. You're. It's going to be surprising because these people are coming at you hot now. So when. If they. If they choose to be brave enough.

[Aafion Crockett]

They can't be coming at me any hotter than the city's already hot.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. It's a little warm. You picked a kind of a rotten weekend.

[Aafion Crockett]

It's a little. It's a little.

[John Holmberg]

You're not going to do anything and you're wearing a coat.

[Aafion Crockett]

Well, it's only because. Same reason he is. I'm under the AC right now.

[John Holmberg]

He's doing that because his doctor told him if he didn't. There's a lot of reason that cod. That's medicine. That's glizzy.

[Aafion Crockett]

That's glizzy.

[John Holmberg]

You want to see this lack of. Yeah, we'll take a caller for Aon Crockett right now and see. But yeah, I like that. But I told her I'm like if I had like a. A 1971 car and I told you it's never been touched up.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

It would be. It would be awful. 54 year old natural breasts that you're bragging about. Yeah, you can't. All right, we got. But I'd like to see them original. I could be wrong. I'm willing to admit. You know what?

[Brady Bogan]

You're.

[John Holmberg]

You're bucking the trend here. All right, let's see. We got a guy named Eric is online. Eric, are you there? I am, yes. All right, Eric, you're on with Afion Crockett. He wants to solve your life. Go ahead.

[Dale Hellestray]

Or the doctor.

[John Holmberg]

It's Dr. Afion. We'll go with that.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah, we'll just go with Dr.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Right now, Eric, go ahead. I'm a 33 year old single dad.

[Aafion Crockett]

Single dad.

[John Holmberg]

Struggle to settle down. Because my interest. I do, I do. But everything that follows falls across my lap. That's good. Is my age. But then, no, everything that. That is good that works out for me is 23 with no kids. But then everyone tells me that I should find myself someone within my 30 year old range 23. 33 is not bad.

[Aafion Crockett]

No, it's not. What makes you. That's what you should be focused on. You should stop listening to other people. How old is your kid?

[John Holmberg]

She's 10.

[Aafion Crockett]

She's 10. Oh, okay. She's a little adult. So it's not like the kid is doodling everywhere and throwing on the wall. So she's kind of self contained. So that shouldn't be a relationship deterrent. Unless every woman that's walking in the door, she's like, you ain't my damn mama, you know, and then she becomes that kid. So we got the kid out the way. So. So where's the problem? You saying you, you like the hoes?

[John Holmberg]

And, and let me add this in real quick. You're the, you're the father of this child, right? Yeah. I'm assuming. I'm just. I'm just making sure. It's modern day. You never know. Allegedly. Yes. So you only have the kid every two weeks?

[Aafion Crockett]

Oh, what's the arrangement? Is she with you full time?

[John Holmberg]

You only get her every other weekend. 50. 50. 50.

[Aafion Crockett]

50.

[John Holmberg]

So you have whole weeks off to bang the 20 year olds that you like?

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah. Where's the problem? You have a good life.

[John Holmberg]

You're screwing this up yourself.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah, you're the problem, sir.

[John Holmberg]

But the one thing the. The one thing that when I try to find someone that is my own age, I can't find one that has no kids. It's always going to be a 30 something year old with three or four baby daddies. Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

So it sounds like you're having a good time with these 20 somethings.

[John Holmberg]

I don't.

[Aafion Crockett]

I've yet to see where the problem is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Unless.

[Dale Hellestray]

Unless you're the one that wants to find the 30 year old.

[John Holmberg]

You're making your own drama.

[Aafion Crockett]

That sounds like peer pressure. Yeah, it sounds like people from his church are like, hey Eric, you need to find a good girl who's in your age range and who knows how to read.

[John Holmberg]

Are you a Mormon, Eric? I am not a Mormon. What is your religion? I think Apheon nailed it. I don't go to church. You're just doing this to yourself without like God pressure. This is dumb. That's your fault.

[Aafion Crockett]

You're the problem, Eric.

[John Holmberg]

It's you.

[Aafion Crockett]

I solved it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm the problem. Yeah, go drive around ASU and do your work, my friend. I actually, I'm actually down the street from ASU. Of course you are. Of course you are.

[Aafion Crockett]

IDs. And you're good Bro.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Dale Hellestray]

Get rid of the white van.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a little weird. Don't do that. All right. Thanks, Eric. All right. Eric likes.

[Aafion Crockett]

And the baby old. No, no baby.

[John Holmberg]

Now. We're gonna keep going. People think you're gonna solve their lives.

[Aafion Crockett]

Get to it.

[John Holmberg]

Split up. All right. Sean is on the line. Sean, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. All right, you're on with a. On crockety. Solving the world's problems. Go ahead. Hey, how's it going? All right, so I'm 50 years old. My girl is 42.

[Aafion Crockett]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

We have a kid together and stuff. But it's like, I want her to be a lot freakier. And she's like real button down, conservative. Okay? So I don't know what to do about that.

[Aafion Crockett]

Was there ever a moment when she was freaky? When y' all met, was she ever freaky and then she just kind of switched up after the kid? Or was she always like that and your dumb ass knew it and still went for it? Still went for it?

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, she. She was kind of freaky. She wasn't like, like freaky freaky, but. But she'd get down. And now it's like she. She just wants to, like, I don't know, just do it normal and somebody else do it normal.

[Dale Hellestray]

He's going through a midlife.

[John Holmberg]

I'll read between the lines. Do it normal means the butt's out of play. It used to be sort of like a birthday Christmas thing. I picked.

[Aafion Crockett]

I picked up something else.

[John Holmberg]

What do you got?

[Aafion Crockett]

She's smashing somebody else.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that possible? No, no, no. Why is that not possible? Yeah, of course not, my girl.

[Aafion Crockett]

Maybe not mine.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't seen my glizzy. No, no, no, no, no. Anything like that. She's a stay at home mom and she's always home with the kids and stuff. So she really.

[Aafion Crockett]

Have you met the mailman?

[John Holmberg]

She would have to be a magician. Oh, it could be. Maybe.

[Aafion Crockett]

Here's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

My son is. My son is a pretty big kid. And I'm not.

[Aafion Crockett]

Don't, don't be. Don't be fooled by the stay at home mom thing, right? How. How many hours are you out of the house per day?

[John Holmberg]

About 12.

[Aafion Crockett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Plenty of time.

[Aafion Crockett]

Glizzy Town. She's going to Glizzy Town with somebody else. And by the time you get to her, she's wore out.

[Dale Hellestray]

So she got a glizzy.

[Aafion Crockett]

She is like, all right, you go. I'm gonna lay down on my back.

[John Holmberg]

You Know what, though?

[Aafion Crockett]

Do what you do.

[John Holmberg]

Let me find this silver lining. Silver lining is she is freaky. You're getting your wish. She is completely freaky. Just not when you're home.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

Else.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah, yeah, Sean. Here's the thing, Sean, you may not know this, but women get freakier as they get older. This is the thing. They get. They get better with age. Okay? So you. You did something wrong. I don't know what you did.

[John Holmberg]

You.

[Aafion Crockett]

You pissed her off, you neglected some things, and now she's bone in the Amazon delivery guy.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly it. I think he's right.

[Aafion Crockett]

She ain't ordered nothing off Amazon in three years.

[John Holmberg]

Sean, let me ask you this. When you say you want her to get freaky, what's, like, top of the list? Like, what's the thing? You're like, this will be the first.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah. What's missing off the menu?

[John Holmberg]

What's. Yeah. What aren't you getting? I don't know. Maybe a threesome. Or. Or, hey, that's easy. The Amazon guy shows up at 3. You should just come home early one day. There you go.

[Aafion Crockett]

I don't think that's the threesome. He had it.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't either.

[Aafion Crockett]

He wants the one glizzy. The one glizzy, Max.

[John Holmberg]

So you'd like to bring another one of her. Here's another. Now, there's new, new rules. So you've got your eye on someone else, and you want to bring her in and not get in trouble.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah, Sean's the problem. He wants too much.

[John Holmberg]

Just bring someone home. Oh, you want her to go get a like. Well, she's sitting around doing nothing with the kids all day. So you think she can't be cheating on you, but you think she's got enough time in the day to go pick up a girl, right?

[Aafion Crockett]

Your expectations. Your expectations are not realistic.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Sean, they're not at all.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah, you're the problem.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well, I guess the Cosby solution is all you've got left. All right, Good luck, Sean. She ain't gonna get free with him. She's already doing. I think you're right. All right, try another one. One more. Joe is on the line. Joe, what's wrong with your life? And let Aeon Crockett fix it. Yo, what's going on, guys? So I got this unique situation here. I. I had a good job, right?

[Aafion Crockett]

That was making good money.

[John Holmberg]

Went to court with. With my baby mama, and they.

[Aafion Crockett]

She tried to get.

[John Holmberg]

I lost that job. She tried to get me to get.

[Aafion Crockett]

Pinned on for that. That income. She recently just lost her job, and now she's trying to get me to.

[John Holmberg]

Let go of all the child support.

[Aafion Crockett]

That she now owes because she made too much money.

[John Holmberg]

What would you do?

[Aafion Crockett]

Wait, run that back.

[Dale Hellestray]

So he had the money and she was tapping his income, but he. You lost a job, she got a good job. Now it's reversed around. So she's paying you, but now she.

[John Holmberg]

Just lost her job, Right?

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah, exactly. When you lost your job, she was trying to tax you and still make you pay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And she was.

[Aafion Crockett]

Now she's trying to weasel out of her obligations now.

[John Holmberg]

Right, exactly, exactly.

[Aafion Crockett]

Legally, she's obligated to pay you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

So if she's trying to now butter up and rub on your glizzy, he's saying, come on, let's just let it go for now. Nah, I'm gonna keep that same energy is what we say in the black community. Keep that same energy you had when I lost mine and you wanted all the money. Now you. You lose your little job.

[John Holmberg]

Pay me.

[Aafion Crockett]

Pay me what you owe me. Keep that same energy.

[John Holmberg]

Hell yeah. And on top of that, she even.

[Aafion Crockett]

Threw it in my face that she would always make more money with her job than she. Than I'd ever make with mine. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How much money is she making now?

[Aafion Crockett]

You know, exactly zero.

[John Holmberg]

He's got. You gave him the energy. Did you hear that?

[Brady Bogan]

He load up.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah. Point to your glizzy. But how much making now, huh? What are you talking about?

[John Holmberg]

Over here?

[Aafion Crockett]

Go, go. Full on Joe Pesi on the son.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Get yours.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, what are you talking about over here, huh? Are you, Are you. Are you currently still doing stuff with her, though? No, no, it's. It's been some years. You hate. You guys hate each other.

[Aafion Crockett]

Yeah. Do you have some new joints? You got some new joints in. In the lineup?

[John Holmberg]

Working on something. Working on something, man. She listens, though, so she might be. She might be honest right now. You know what I'm saying? She's listening. She understands your situation. It' of unique. So she's.

[Aafion Crockett]

He's laying next to her.

[John Holmberg]

He can't. He can't say. Can't say hello.

[Aafion Crockett]

I heard. I'm out here.

[John Holmberg]

I'm out here cutting off people's water. Ain't paying the bills, man.

[Aafion Crockett]

Oh, okay. Oh, so you got. There you go. Go to your ex's house and cut off the water.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. She's not paying her bills. Cut the water.

[Aafion Crockett]

Cut the water. She gonna walk around Here, stank and sweaty in this hot. Listen, cut the water off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You can provide, like, her. Her cleanliness or her swamp ass. It's all up to. You're like. You're like. Like Gandalf right now with that. That little pole you use.

[Aafion Crockett]

Gandalf.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Close her down. You're like a wizard. You can. You can make this woman stink. I like that. Good luck to you.

[Aafion Crockett]

Disclaimer. I'm not a licensed therapist. Everything I've said is only opinion and meant for entertainment purposes only.

[John Holmberg]

He's chat. GPT. Don't worry about it. All right. Thank you. Thanks, Joe. We'll see you. There you go. See, look at you. A fixing the world.

[Aafion Crockett]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

And you do that sometimes in the crowd when they start talking to you?

[Aafion Crockett]

No, I do it. I. I open up my shows. Every. Every show, I. I open up for Q and A. Yeah. And we talk about relationships. I fix people's life live. So show up tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

Tomorrow, Saturday. Stand up live.

[John Holmberg]

Bring a problem.

[Aafion Crockett]

It's going down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It'll work out. It's beautiful. Yeah. Is there any. What impression do you do that you wish was more famous? That was more, like a thing. You're like, man, I worked on this, and it's really good.

[Aafion Crockett]

Maya Angelou.

[John Holmberg]

Because you're Maya Angelou.

[Aafion Crockett]

As soon as I started doing it, a bunch of copycats sprung up.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious. Yeah. Nobody should. Yeah. Nobody should copy your Maya Angelou.

[Aafion Crockett]

No, they should leave it alone. But. But it is what it is. It's all love. Yes. Maya, Maya, Maya, Maya. A grown man should not be able to do my voice. But he is. He's doing it. He's doing it well. He's doing it like a phenomenal woman. Phenomenal woman.

[John Holmberg]

Hey. Yeah, it's great.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's hard to, like, push that.

[John Holmberg]

On to people saying, you don't know how good that is. Yeah.

[Aafion Crockett]

What are you gonna say? Is it a party conversation?

[John Holmberg]

Like, yeah, you know.

[Aafion Crockett]

You know, I got a good. A great mind.

[John Holmberg]

I got a good mind.

[Aafion Crockett]

I got a killer Maya Angelou impression. What are you doing after this?

[John Holmberg]

Not moving, though. It's not.

[Aafion Crockett]

Let's go get some food and let me drop this. My own.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And not a lot of women who would be impressed by that are really the ones that are gonna go jump right into bed. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not sure the Maya Angelou feminist is the one that's gonna really enjoy that. To the point.

[Aafion Crockett]

But I'm willing. I'm willing to try.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Always Try it. Afion Crockett at Stand Up Live tonight, tomorrow and Saturday. Leave us with words of wisdom. What do you got? You already done enough.

[Aafion Crockett]

I've done enough?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think that's it. Those are your words of wisdom? I've done enough.

[Aafion Crockett]

I've done my job.

[John Holmberg]

I shall fight no more forever.

[Aafion Crockett]

Cut the water off.

[John Holmberg]

That's a beautiful thing. 8 fee on Crockett, everybody. It's 98.

[Aafion Crockett]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[Aafion Crockett]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Three time world champion Dale Hel is in the room right now. Welcome, Dale. Dallas Cowboy.

[Brady Bogan]

How come I don't hear anything?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. What are you doing wrong? I don't know.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's your own fault.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, there we go.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brady Bogan]

There we go. That knuckleheaded comedian.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't hear me introduce you as three time world champion.

[Brady Bogan]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Dale Hel of the Dallas Cowboys also played for the Ravens and the Raiders and the Bills and didn't anything there but three time world champ.

[Brady Bogan]

I got the AC championship game in Buffalo.

[John Holmberg]

With Buffalo and. Yeah, but didn't get it. Didn't quite finish her off there, did you?

[Brady Bogan]

Would you be happy with an AC championship game this year for Pittsburgh if they lost it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No.

[Brady Bogan]

They get there.

[John Holmberg]

Second place sucks. Third place is last.

[Brady Bogan]

So you rather miss the playoffs? You.

[John Holmberg]

And if you're not going to go all the way, what do you do?

[Brady Bogan]

And your little bed buddy?

[John Holmberg]

You're setting me up for my first question. You're absolutely right. If you're not going to win it all, it's a failed season.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you realize how many people have actually won a super.

[John Holmberg]

I know there are very few successes in the NFL. I agree. Most all are failures.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And if you're just happy being there, wow. So be it. Wow. I guess if you. I guess if winning the division is enough for you, congratulations.

[Brady Bogan]

Doesn't that make it for a fun season for a fan though?

[John Holmberg]

Up until that thing where they are. Yeah. I mean that branded as failures get.

[Dale Hellestray]

All the way to the Super Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, you win a lot and you get branded as a Super bowl loser. Failed season.

[Brady Bogan]

I. I like to ask some of my buddies who've played in Buffalo and in Pittsburgh and Pittsburgh, they've got champions and I like to Ask him. I go, what? Well, what's the super bowl loser party like? Oh, you know, I mean, what is that?

[John Holmberg]

Do they have the party?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, they do.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, that's miserable.

[Brady Bogan]

I was just telling the story because when we came out here for the super bowl, you know, Jerry Jones went to the city of Tempe. We were staying at the beach. Oh, yeah, you told me that. And, and got the drinking hours changed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because everything closed at one back. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You're planning on winning. Blah, blah, blah. Like.

[John Holmberg]

No, but it can backfire because like what Oklahoma City did for game six or seven of the championship game against the, the Pacers, they parked the buses, they were going to do in the parade that had Oklahoma City Thunder world champions wrapped already down by the Pacers locker room. And you know, had not Halberton blown his leg up, there's a good chance that would have been it. And here's how I know. Only the super bowl winner is successful and it's a failed season. Never go in the locker room of the losing team and have them going. That was great. We had a great time out there. Made it to the Super Bowl. What a season.

[Brady Bogan]

No, but it might.

[John Holmberg]

They're miserable.

[Brady Bogan]

After a week you're, you're sav. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

When you start to sav your lies.

[Brady Bogan]

But, but I'm saying. So let me finish story. So he was, he went to the Tempe City council and, and said we, we need to get drinking hours extended. And everybody in the media like, oh, he's getting ready for a party. And Bubba. Well, you don't. Middle of the fourth quarter, go. Oh, we got a 14 point lead. Let's throw it together. Let's throw together party. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's this.

[John Holmberg]

And I was actually at that thing and I remember Jerry Jones going and going. My long snapper is an alcoholic. We need to make him happy till.

[Brady Bogan]

Four in the morning act actually, cuz I don't think we got there till 10:30, 11:00 clock at least. And, and, and, and Barry was pretty hammered.

[John Holmberg]

That. Oh, Switzer. Yeah, well, he was hammered during the game. Right? You didn't need him at all.

[Brady Bogan]

No, not a whole lot. Not a whole lot. Super nice guy though.

[John Holmberg]

Serious. A wonderful guy.

[Brady Bogan]

Probably my favorite good drinking buddy. He actually knew your family.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

Jimmy didn't.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna need a wild amount of crack and prostitutes and ain't that to last till 4 in the morning.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you got us. Was there a lot of drug use at your super bowl parties?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

But I had statue limitations. Is up. You can say.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't. Well, again, it was. You didn't. And I've told you this before. The White House.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

There are certain guys who didn't even know about the White House.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Because we were not.

[John Holmberg]

Which was the sex. The sex domicile. That was right across from your practice.

[Brady Bogan]

You could see it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Albert Harper pointed out that. That's it. I'm like. I never even knew it was there. But I. I was never gonna get invited. So the drugs. I'm. I'm sure there were some going. I'm sure they let some slappies in, like, you know, the Holbergs or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And then Dale Dhell was at the ouse party, which was pretty cool. You were allowed in that.

[Brady Bogan]

But I had a good friend who. We're still buddies today from about 8 years old. He's gonna get me drunk. That was his thing. He's get me drunk on. Because you don't, you know, you don't eat.

[John Holmberg]

And.

[Brady Bogan]

And. Yeah. So he's buying triple Jack Daniels and not buying. Getting triple Jack and cokes. But the idiot was getting himself a triple Jack and coke. So he went down before.

[John Holmberg]

Way before.

[Brady Bogan]

Go on. That had to be a fun part.

[John Holmberg]

Dale. Hell street series brought to you by our friends at prestige billiards. Prestige billiards. AZ.com if you've gone to Kevin yet and you've met him, you didn't get your game room room straightened out. He does grills. He does all the toys and the games. He put a pool table in my rental house. A beautiful thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you help him carry the slate?

[John Holmberg]

I did. I did. I did. This time. I helped him carry the slate.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. I had my finger on it. Like, it's going over here.

[Brady Bogan]

Was it on a dolly?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And it was like. And put it over there. And he had his son there, too, so I didn't want to get in the son's way.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Kid needs to learn, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And plus, I wasn't getting paid. I was paying for this. Why am I doing all the heavy lifting? So bring it in there. Yeah. So he'll get you. Gets you hooked up.

[Brady Bogan]

And he is built like a slate carrier.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's how he got built.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Kevin's a good dude, but he's getting everything. He's getting furniture. I didn't know that he got furniture for my rental. Like, game room. It's awesome. So go to prestige billiards. A.com and buy what Dale has not bought cuz he's too cheap so far. Now speaking of cheap, before we get into real, I want to talk sports with you. You started giving Brady a little grief. Yes, about trans. You asked what did we do on our vacation?

[Brady Bogan]

And we.

[John Holmberg]

I don't do anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Go to Vegas.

[John Holmberg]

I don't go anywhere. I might for my birthday, but I'm not sure.

[Brady Bogan]

When's your birthday?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yours is tomorrow. I just realized. Happy birthday. Dale. Dale, what are you. What are you doing for your birthday?

[Brady Bogan]

My wife put together little shindig, I guess there's this game show place where you go and play games.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so real safe, family fun.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it's family.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, but we're not staying in the same hotel room or anything.

[John Holmberg]

Getting something.

[Brady Bogan]

My 30 year old daughter staying with me.

[John Holmberg]

So you found it as equally strange that Brady took two 16 year old girls to San Diego and slept in the room with them?

[Brady Bogan]

I think it was the, the nonchalantness that he said. Yeah. Why am I gonna get them a room?

[John Holmberg]

Why would I get them a room? He said to you. Because you even said, why didn't you get him a room? Why would I get them a room if I, if.

[Brady Bogan]

If I have Hillary and Kendall? They're 33 and 30. But if they're 16, 17 years old, they're bringing a friend.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want them to smell your ass, cuz that's what you'd be blowing farts on them.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, what are you doing? I mean, what are you turning away and looking away? Because they're changing.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what I said. Poor girl was a hostage.

[Brady Bogan]

That's weird.

[Dale Hellestray]

I already had it booked. She asked she could bring a friend last minute. Ronnie wasn't going, so I said sure.

[John Holmberg]

And then you got to get him. You could have said yes.

[Dale Hellestray]

I couldn't afford a second.

[Brady Bogan]

They don't pay enough here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, it's true. He's. He's struggling right now. I mean he can still afford. He can still afford. Take a stranger's kid all the way to San Diego and pay for everything.

[Brady Bogan]

What did the other parents say? Yeah, you're rooming with my daughter?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, 16, they requested she can go as long as she rooms with us.

[John Holmberg]

A Mormon community.

[Brady Bogan]

So I mean, I mean, 16, it's one thing. Is there six, seven, eight.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you have to keep in the room, right? Legally, like they're.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but 16, are you walking around? What? In shorts, no shirt? Are you nothing?

[Dale Hellestray]

I sleep new in your skin.

[John Holmberg]

God, that's still nothing to say.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a sight.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about it. It just looks like a guy.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, there's a lot to see. Just not what you want.

[John Holmberg]

No genitals. Don't worry about that. You're not going to see anything dirty. No, you're right. I need. How did you walk through the room?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Always shirt. Always clothed. Yeah. Like you just never wore super comf.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you sleep at night with your shirt off?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You drop top with this girl. Oh, that's so awkward.

[Dale Hellestray]

I would say her name and then take my shirt off.

[John Holmberg]

Dale, your daughter would your daughters go to their six go back in time to when they were 16 and Brady and his daughter want to take your daughter over to San Diego and you find out he was in the room topless.

[Brady Bogan]

First question. Other two rooms.

[John Holmberg]

First and only question and I'll kick in. Where were the parents of her? Like saying hey if you're going to take her because she's last minute, we'll kick in for another room because we know that's weird and we don't want her sleeping with you. They didn't even offer.

[Dale Hellestray]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Now hold on. You got one room. So did you get a king size bed?

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I got a no. 1 twin. I made them like they want a king. I go, no twin. Two queens.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's weird. And.

[Dale Hellestray]

And a pull out couch.

[John Holmberg]

Like she didn't want to sleep with Kirby. Did you get comfy taking the shirt off?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And just go, here it is. Cl Glorious.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, they already. It was already. Everyone was already asleep. You kind of fall asleep and then.

[John Holmberg]

You wake up and take it off.

[Brady Bogan]

But you wake up in the morning.

[John Holmberg]

And then you wake up and your clothes are.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm up.

[John Holmberg]

They sleep in Brady. Okay, but Caitlyn went to sleep and then you took your clothes off and then. So if she woke up tomorrow.

[Dale Hellestray]

The other night I kept. I didn't take the shirt because I did that. I had to change that up a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

But she like she walks by in the middle of night to go peek. All girls do. And sees a naked corpse. Their.

[Dale Hellestray]

Their bed was close to the bathroom. They never got up at night.

[John Holmberg]

But she still got a glimpse of it. And she's still having nightmares. Like that is awful.

[Dale Hellestray]

Again, core memory.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you even think about this? Like as you're driving?

[Aafion Crockett]

No, I didn't.

[Dale Hellestray]

I didn't think about that at all.

[John Holmberg]

You got to think they're right and.

[Dale Hellestray]

It'S right on the bubble. I'm like, okay, well if we do it next year. Maybe I will.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't think maybe.

[Dale Hellestray]

But, but next year might be a verbo. Because we did that one year. She brought a phone, I got a house.

[John Holmberg]

But I'll tell you this right now. He would do this again next year if it wasn't for the ridicule he received immediately upon finding out.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'll do the same thing.

[John Holmberg]

That he was human trafficking. He was human trafficking. A while.

[Dale Hellestray]

There'll be four of us in there.

[John Holmberg]

This is the defense mechanism that Brady right here is that he's trying to.

[Dale Hellestray]

But we did it the year before too.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but.

[John Holmberg]

And, and you had your wife there, which is four weirder. Here's the other thing. And I don't know if this still goes on. Both of you guys probably have a spot. I, I, I actually do suffer from this. I don't know if you two do anymore. Probably not. You know, nocturnal boners that you wake up with a huge raging array.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, no, I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have that anymore.

[Dale Hellestray]

That didn't happen.

[John Holmberg]

I have it.

[Brady Bogan]

I, I was okay. I was okay with theory, but not a huge one.

[John Holmberg]

I wake up on the couch sometimes. I'm like, jesus, what have we had company? Like it just comes screaming out and that's.

[Dale Hellestray]

I've never.

[John Holmberg]

You don't get those.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, I have gotten them, but I didn't recently.

[John Holmberg]

You're supposed to get one every night. That's you're supposed to get.

[Dale Hellestray]

Maybe I've slept through one, but I have. I don't get one.

[John Holmberg]

You can't sleep through mine. Mine taps me on my shoulder.

[Dale Hellestray]

Last. Last night.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my.

[Dale Hellestray]

Last night. I remember.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my Lord.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's terrible. Sometimes it feels like it's going to rip through the skin. It's like one of those sausages, like in those pack. And I was like, how is it?

[Brady Bogan]

The little weird.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. How's it packed in there?

[Dale Hellestray]

So why can't that guy show up all the time?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, where's that guy ever? Like, sometimes it's like the top of it works and the middle's not right or vice versa.

[Brady Bogan]

But what I want to know is when you sat down on the bed to get ready to go to bed, did you even think about not taking your shirt off? Did you think this is a little.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, I thought about. Yeah, I kept it on for the most part. And then I woke up, you know, like two in the morning.

[John Holmberg]

And then took your pants off.

[Dale Hellestray]

I took everything off.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Good Lord. You had one of those weird boners. Yes, I Couldn't do that. Just for the fear that my. My massive erect be noticeable by the. Even my daughter. I don't want her in there for that.

[Dale Hellestray]

But you're. Yeah, it's different. It.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You said they were closer to the bathroom, but I know you have to get up in the middle of night. Yeah, that's a. That's the thing with the bathroom. One bathroom?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Two girls and you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you go dumpless for a couple days?

[John Holmberg]

That's what he tried to sell us on that.

[Brady Bogan]

Or did you go down to the lobby?

[John Holmberg]

Went down the lobby once I lobby once.

[Dale Hellestray]

She would go to the lobby.

[John Holmberg]

You have to call the authorities. And then she'd get nabbed and pulled back into the room.

[Brady Bogan]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Because.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, we need to meet her.

[John Holmberg]

Then she dropped some serious ass. He lied about this. He's not going to tell you the truth later. The truth will, because I asked him. I'm like, you poop in the middle of the night, late night. You used to talk about that all the time. And he said no, not anymore. Don't do that anymore. And then later in the story, he's like once at 2 in the morning. So that girl had to inhale Brady's.

[Brady Bogan]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Brady's Dew.

[Brady Bogan]

And you're making noise and usually the fans don't drown out the sound and everything.

[Dale Hellestray]

Stealth. It was very stealthy, believe me. No explosion. It was smooth saucer.

[Brady Bogan]

So seriously, the parents were okay. The stains in the toilet?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You left stains in the toilet.

[Brady Bogan]

They get up in the morning.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, I left it on there.

[John Holmberg]

Boy. Yeah, this is.

[Brady Bogan]

And her parents were okay with it?

[Dale Hellestray]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

No they weren't.

[Brady Bogan]

See because they.

[John Holmberg]

That and we had a black asked.

[Brady Bogan]

I.

[John Holmberg]

He's defending Dale. You can't get it. You can't get around his. His normalizing.

[Dale Hellestray]

I have fun with me on vacation.

[John Holmberg]

I mean well, because we're adults we could. But as a 16 year old girl. As a 16 year old girl lives down the road. I shouldn't have fun with you on vacation. That shouldn't happen ever. I shouldn't relate to you. I shouldn't want to do the same things as you. And I certainly shouldn't want to sleep in the same hotel as you at all.

[Dale Hellestray]

Really wasn't that big of a deal.

[Brady Bogan]

But okay. So what you guys do? Of course, not in your mind, not.

[John Holmberg]

To you, but to the world. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

What you guys do?

[Aafion Crockett]

We.

[Dale Hellestray]

I rented a boat one day and.

[John Holmberg]

Took him into the international waters and got Newport beach.

[Dale Hellestray]

Went to Newport and Went around the.

[Brady Bogan]

So you could have a boat in.

[John Holmberg]

Lieu of the room he's just left in the boat. Just dumped off the edge. Anyway. He normalizes the Very unusual. I was glad to see your face when you. When he said that he did. Did that. You're like.

[Brady Bogan]

I would not see that. The same room.

[John Holmberg]

That was Dale's first. What?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

I didn't think anything of it.

[John Holmberg]

But you should have. Yeah. And most pedophiles don't, but, I mean, that's when we have to draw.

[Brady Bogan]

I feel their parents thought about.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

I. I can. You know, they didn't say anything to me.

[John Holmberg]

That is weird, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's too trusting of a name. Yes. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I would not allow.

[John Holmberg]

Would you let. Yeah. Would you let Kirby?

[Dale Hellestray]

You would.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Not in 100 years.

[John Holmberg]

That's just weird. I wouldn't put you.

[Dale Hellestray]

My daughter went on vacation with your family.

[Brady Bogan]

We get another room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're not sleeping with Dale.

[Dale Hellestray]

Didn't if you. If I figured the. Yeah. The kids. I mean, it depends how there. How many there were. There's three of us.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Two of them get a room and you get a room. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That way you can.

[John Holmberg]

You're not going to divide it up where I didn't think it was.

[Dale Hellestray]

I didn't think it would be that uncomfortable for them. And maybe I'm making a. The air. Well, it.

[John Holmberg]

You found out it was 16, 17. No, 16's not okay. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Dale Hellestray]

I don't know that I mean. But it was no different from when we go on vacation. My family.

[John Holmberg]

There'd be.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, it's another person's.

[John Holmberg]

And I'd have a friend, a stranger that would stay with your family in the same room.

[Dale Hellestray]

No, I'd bring a friend on vacation.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you would stay in the same room with your parents.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah, sometimes 16 in high school.

[John Holmberg]

I can't imagine trying to think of a. Your parents would want their own privacy, wouldn't they?

[Dale Hellestray]

We did it both times.

[Brady Bogan]

And you're sharing a bed in high school with another dude.

[John Holmberg]

There's that too. No, no, we didn't do that. There's. You're right, Dale. I missed that part.

[Dale Hellestray]

You get to pull away usually in the room.

[John Holmberg]

And so everybody.

[Dale Hellestray]

But then you think about. Yeah, that's different when it's teens because you think about what they do. What you do on spring break or fall break. You're all cramming into. There'd be six people in a room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But not your parents or someone else.

[Dale Hellestray]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's the weird thing, right? Yeah. Anyway. You're a strange young man. Thanks for. Thanks for all that. It is odd.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey Johnny. Are you Shane Sudra?

[John Holmberg]

Let me tell you this. Hold on. I know for a fact if my dad stayed in a room with my 16 year old sister at and her friends there would have been problems.

[Brady Bogan]

There have been fireworks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cause her friends were ridiculous. Like she was friends with Stephanie Seymour, the old model in like eighth grade. She came to our house and so she had friends on that caliber for a little while. And my dad wasn't even allowed in the house when her friends were. Well he would stand in the window and watch them swim and stuff. And then I'd be like what are you doing? Get out of here. And then I'd look out the window and the two of us just be standing there like American gothic painting. Just staring. Standing up. Went and looking at this 1980s rock video in our backyard. So I know for a fact.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Dan wouldn't have been able to. Wouldn't have been allowed to do that.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I, I, I just think six. There's an age cut off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

At 16.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a little old.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So next time. Now. Now.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, now.

[Dale Hellestray]

But what I want looks like no friends for Kirby.

[John Holmberg]

No, she can still have friends.

[Dale Hellestray]

Just you like in a second room.

[John Holmberg]

You're too cheap not to look like a pervert. Like you're paying to. Not like you're not helping them. You're helping you. And don't you want private time?

[Brady Bogan]

You see, that's what I.

[John Holmberg]

That's me. I would like, I'd like. You know.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't you want to be. Don't you like to get in your underwear and just hang out?

[John Holmberg]

So to speak? You know, give yourself a tug.

[Brady Bogan]

Little espn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, give yourself a tug. Whatever you want to watch. And give yourself a T. Didn't you feel like. Give myself a tug and get some good sleep. Get rid of these three.

[Dale Hellestray]

Three day video vacation with.

[John Holmberg]

That's ten. My daughter and her friend and we'll.

[Dale Hellestray]

And we'll have a fun time.

[Brady Bogan]

And you snuck into the bathroom.

[Dale Hellestray]

We'll have a gay old time.

[Brady Bogan]

He snuck into the bathroom at 2am to take a dump. And you don't.

[Dale Hellestray]

There's no sneaking.

[Brady Bogan]

There's no stinking.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Claude. Make way ladies. It's happening. At least it was a long room anyway.

[Dale Hellestray]

Bathrooms.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's gross as well. Nobody wants to smell.

[Brady Bogan]

What I want to know is the suns sent you a season ticket invoice. We're.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. We're getting into this, dad.

[Brady Bogan]

Somebody's got to pay it.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we're getting into this. Dale Hellster. Now I want to talk about sports, for Christ's sake. You bothered Brady enough about his perversions and it's time to move on. Yeah, I'm with you on that one though.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Brady, can I take your daughter and her friend?

[Dale Hellestray]

You know, you guys, you did it. I'm gonna get a. Yeah. Second room.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't it be weird if I just did that? There's like. Just stayed in the room with Caitlyn in two different beds.

[Dale Hellestray]

What do you mean just you all on vacation.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, hey, Caitlyn, why don't you just. Oh, I do know her. I know her as well as.

[Dale Hellestray]

You know, if it was just you and Caitlyn.

[John Holmberg]

And it's like Caitlyn gets a bed and I get a bed and because that's just the way it's worked out. She's a last minute replacement. I got an extra bed. She can stay in my room.

[Dale Hellestray]

I would go in your room.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. You're staying with Kirby and Ronnie and the whole gang.

[Dale Hellestray]

Mix it up.

[John Holmberg]

Or you'd rather have. And here's another thing I wouldn't do. If you're like, oh, Kirby and Caitlyn can have your room and you can stay with us. I'd be like, ah, yourself. No, that's not happening.

[Brady Bogan]

John here one queen bad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm not doing that, Brady. I shared a. I shared a room with him once in Vegas. And it was a big suite and it had a living room and a bed and two bathrooms with jet tubs. First thing the angel does is take a jet bath and he runs and you. And then. So this was before. Before CPAP came into his life.

[Dale Hellestray]

Cal gone.

[John Holmberg]

So, yeah, he got taken away. He crawls into bed, into the big king sized bed. I'm sleeping on the couch, which was fine by me, right? And I'm down on the. It's a big room. And all I hear is like that dude's dying. And then it kind of little snoring. And then I kind of calm through it and like, okay, at least it's consistent. It's nice noise. And then suddenly from the bathroom, he left the jets on and it had drained, right? So it starts blowing jets.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's on a timer, but the timer wasn't switching.

[John Holmberg]

And he was in there and then not in the bathroom, but it was his bath. And he goes, what's that? I'm like, I don't know. It sounds like the bath jets.

[Dale Hellestray]

Oh, it woke the king up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then he goes, right. He didn't even get up to fix it. It was just going to be a noise we all dealt with.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, what is so weird? See, when you talk about you guys really rooming together.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I, I room with my brother on a trip. We went to see Ohio State football game. And I made a decision very quickly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

When he came walking out of the bathroom in his shorts and no shirt. And I said, no. I walked down to the front desk. I need my own room. I can't see this.

[John Holmberg]

Brady and Randy Johnson shared a room room once.

[Brady Bogan]

R the picture.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Those two cheap bastards laid together in.

[Dale Hellestray]

A Best Western, booked the room. And he says, you get a room. And I go, yeah, I, you know, Ontario, California. Best Western.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Like it was decent. So I booked the room. I go, it's. It's 99 bucks a night. And so if you want me to get you one. Oh, no, cool. I'll split it with you.

[John Holmberg]

And you said, okay.

[Dale Hellestray]

And the minute we get to the. I ran a car.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

And I said, I'm also flying on Southwest. I'm figuring whatever he's like, I'll get the same flight. So he did and everything. And the minute we got to the door of the room.

[Brady Bogan]

What were you doing in Ontario, California with Randy Johnson?

[Dale Hellestray]

Seeing the drag race.

[John Holmberg]

He went to the NHRA races. He was caps and he wanted to.

[Dale Hellestray]

Photograph get on the tree there and.

[John Holmberg]

But you said yes to that, which is as strange as him saying yes to that.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure, I'd say.

[Dale Hellestray]

But you had a, you had a roommate.

[John Holmberg]

And football, they make you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And what. And the good. The higher ups could have the last.

[Brady Bogan]

Six, seven years of my career, I had a room by myself.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. But you earned that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, it isn't.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yes. For some people.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't. You're not.

[Dale Hellestray]

It didn't bother me that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but at least it's another guy.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The daughter and her friend thing, that's unforgivable.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not sleeping in the same room. Randy Johnson's. And I was.

[Dale Hellestray]

I, I didn't look at it that way.

[Brady Bogan]

So what he do give you $47.50?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. What the hell.

[Dale Hellestray]

And $35 and 50 cents for the rental car.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Cash at the door right there. That's your fault though. It's like Randy Johnson.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll just stay in your room with you.

[John Holmberg]

You're like no you won't. You giant loaf. Get your own room. Yeah, they get tons of room. It's Ontario. You'll find your. I'll just sleep in the bed with you.

[Dale Hellestray]

I just asked a simple question. You sleep on your stomach.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You can stay and then I, and then I slap guts with Brady for an hour and a half. He slept through it.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, do you travel?

[Dale Hellestray]

He was a pleasant roommate.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you travel with your CPAP machine?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right. You have to pack it up, put in a backpack.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, in the backpack.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So poor Caitlyn, the 16 year old girl had to wake up one.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's, it's about this big. It's about the size your phone. A little bit thicker like and so.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you break that out with the girls in the room?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. So Caitlyn woke up to pee in some naked Darth Vader I keep in the hallway. You should have kept yourself in the hallway. It's all weird. Witnesses hostile there. Yeah. All right, we're going to talk about basketball here in a bit. Yes. Anyway, we'll get to that in a second. Dale Hell is here courtesy of our friends at Prestige billiards. Prestige billiards a.com for all your gaming and beyond needs. It's 98.

[Brady Bogan]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's get right to it. It's 9:46. Dale Hellas Tray is here. He's been here for a long time now and we very rarely talk sports but we have to now I went off a little bit about it this morning, Dale. Devin Booker signed a two year extension with the Phoenix Suns. And you're looking at me, you know what I'm thinking and I've been on the Devin Booker is a great guy. Let's not turn him into Larry Fitzgerald. Let's not turn him into Shane Doane. And then you have have to realize is it Devin Booker that is the problem? Two more years, guaranteeing five more years with the Suns here at least on contract. It's a nice deal, lot of money. 300 something million dollars now total through the next five years for a team that has been dismantled that no longer has a chance at a championship on paper.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

They're not a contender and he was happy to sign for two more years. What does that say about that player to you?

[Brady Bogan]

Well again Dan, you and I don't agree on much but I, but I told you and I talked about it and I said trade him, have to trade. So Brady and Bird are going to get upset because Devin Booker got trade. Who cares what's the best for the team and what can you get the most for? And I was reading something this morning. He played 75 games last year, which is the most he's played since his second year in the league. Other things I watched him playing the Olympics last summer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm like, wow, okay, defense, hustle.

[John Holmberg]

He's awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And then he gets into the season, he looks like he's. He's playing with nails in his.

[John Holmberg]

See, I look at him as a really good player, really good defender, reliable. You know, you're very rarely going to.

[Brady Bogan]

Get 75 years disagree with you on the defender part when he wants to be.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's true of all NBA players. I think almost every one of them who scores has lapses on defense. And he's 26 and he just has.

[Brady Bogan]

40 minutes worth of lapses sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes it's like, yeah, I'll get those two points back. So yeah, there's that. But I think it speaks louder to a guy who says, nah, championships maybe don't really care how important is a great setup. Yeah. And he's happy here now. He's the face of the franchise. As the face of the franchise. To be absolutely brutal on Devin. Six coaches in 10 years while he's been here. One championship run, but that got dismantled.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it's because DeAndre got a $400.

[John Holmberg]

Million roster that he was the face of along with another guy that didn't make the playoffs. And Suns fans are like, no, we can't lose them. And I want to ask all of them why.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's because it is. It's interesting. You bring that up to anybody who likes basketball or Suns fan and they go lose their ever living mind. Well, Luca, look what happened in Dallas with Luca. And I said, okay, so they lost their mind for a month or two. And guess what? I have a feeling they're gonna be pretty damn good next year.

[John Holmberg]

I have a bet with Kevin Ray that deandre Ayton gets a ring before Devin Booker.

[Brady Bogan]

He's with the Lakers now.

[John Holmberg]

He's got to find one because he's. Give him credit for that. Yeah, he's not standing pat now. He. Portland was like, you've got to go like that.

[Brady Bogan]

And he never wanted to go to.

[John Holmberg]

Portland, but he was a free agent, so he picked a team. It's like he's got a good chance here. LeBron and.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And Luca, this is exciting. This is the best. He picked an opportunity to advance at least his status.

[Brady Bogan]

And Devin get A run. I'm fine with the rebuild. By time we get a. A roster worthy of maybe playoff consideration. It'll be my fourth year.

[Dale Hellestray]

33 son can get a champion.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Maybe seven. That little Debbie will come up. Debbie is awesome. You know, but I just, I look at this and I just. I have to ask Phoenix fans, why do you lock on emotionally to these guys? And now he's got a two year deal and I'm like, well, now I know for sure why that this junk drawer known as the Phoenix Suns is absolutely not competing and their star doesn't care.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you have the same questions about Larry Fitzgerald?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

You did.

[John Holmberg]

Shane Doan. I used to say, gotta get rid of Shane Doan. He's the problem. He's the only constant to your team not winning it to the point where.

[Brady Bogan]

He was the only one about five owners.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. But he stayed through all of it. So if you're going to get rid of all this other stuff, why is it so important to keep him? Larry Fitzgerald? Let's be honest. The super bowl run, kind of an accident. That was a 9 and 7 team that still holds the record of being a football team that was down by 30 points or more in more games in a Super bowl run than any other team. They really. They. They were down 30 points six different times that year.

[Brady Bogan]

And your Steelers almost lost you. And they should have lost.

[John Holmberg]

No, they shouldn't.

[Brady Bogan]

Should have.

[John Holmberg]

They shouldn't.

[Brady Bogan]

They didn't.

[John Holmberg]

They.

[Brady Bogan]

And the referees wanted to win.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they won no matter how Dale and I think you know this Steelers won that too. Either way.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes. I am totally with you on the Devin Booker thing. Number one. Why wouldn't he force his way?

[John Holmberg]

Go contender where New York is dying. He wants to play with Cat. Go.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And get stuff back.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

But maybe they don't have anything to offer. Somebody else would. Cleveland something.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, it's got to be that maybe that the other teams aren't trust.

[John Holmberg]

He's not on the block.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I don't think they have any offers conversations and then, then you find out Durant's kind of doing things to. To lower his value. The sun don't get enough back from. I. I don't know. I was so excited about Matt Ishbia because again, me too. After Sarver for a decade and. Oh no, we're. We're. We're money poor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He was broke as an owner. He couldn't do what Ishbia did, which is throw money everywhere. That's not working.

[Brady Bogan]

Thing is he threw through the money at home. Homeburg. Hell and Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that. Yeah. And that was the thing about Sarver. We all hated him because he was just the owner for himself, right? And he locked into a championship run accidentally with that team that wasn't supposed to do what they did, but they did anyway. I look at Devin Booker and I say, please, Suns fans, recognize. If you want a title, get serious. If you don't clog up that arena cheer and scream real realizing it's for nothing.

[Brady Bogan]

$145 million.

[John Holmberg]

That ain't bad. I'd take that. That's getting. He's getting that no matter where.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, he's not getting that much because he got the bird rights and all.

[John Holmberg]

That, but he's getting his money. Eventually he's gonna get his money.

[Brady Bogan]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

He's fine.

[Brady Bogan]

And then you got your boy, Bradley Beal.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's not going to. Don't worry about that. We don't talk about Bradley Beal. That's a different. No, Bradley Beal is a lost topic. That's abortion. Bradley Beal is a topic. You just avoid religion, politics and Bradley Beal. It's just. Don't even talk about. He's useless to try to bring up.

[Brady Bogan]

Tell me this. If you were Bradley Beal, put yourself in issues, and you're due 110 million over the next two years.

[John Holmberg]

I ain't leaving.

[Brady Bogan]

And they say, we want watch take a pay cut and we want to waive you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, no, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Unless it all equals 110 million.

[John Holmberg]

Think of Bradley Beal.

[Dale Hellestray]

Situation.

[John Holmberg]

Situation. Prior to this, he was in Washington, D.C. yeah. For years. Miserable. He comes here, he goes to the Bottle blonde one night. What's this? He's hanging around Scottsdale for what's going on over here. And then he's at the Phoenician, he's at the W. He's at, you know, the Caesars. He's at all these places, stake 44. And he's like, I'm not going no anywhere.

[Brady Bogan]

And I got $110 million and they.

[John Holmberg]

Have to pay me that. There's no way for them to get out of it. Why would he force his way to. Yes, Utah. Dumb.

[Dale Hellestray]

Got my crib on Camelback Mountain.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if going. Anyway. So Bradley Beal is religion, politics, abortion and Bradley Beal all just useless. There's no change in anything.

[Brady Bogan]

When the Suns made that made that trade for him and acquired him, I bet you that the addendum H was no trade clause. Oh, and they only got to g they didn't look at.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't think they'd need it. No, he's going to be fine. He's here for two years anyway. Yeah. So prediction for the Suns is they will barely make the playoffs next year if they make it at all. Same exact squad. And Devin Booker will get to 27, 28 a night and be the face of the franchise for five years for no reason.

[Brady Bogan]

You're beyond the media guy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's gonna. He's everywhere. Posters downtown. They're gonna. Statues of them. They're gonna make him out. And it's a. You're. You said this and I was like, oh, you're crazy. You're right. The sons of the Cleveland Browns of the NBA. The absolute. Absolutely right about that. This is a poorly run group and.

[Brady Bogan]

I've been watching them since 1968.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you've been from the beginning.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, from the beginning.

[John Holmberg]

And they've had their little bounces just like the Browns and managed to just monkey that whole thing up the entire way and ruin good things and then try to rebuild it and ruin it again. It's. You were right.

[Brady Bogan]

So.

[John Holmberg]

I hate saying those words. Brad Dale, you were right. I never thought I'd hear those words.

[Brady Bogan]

Come out of your mouth, Bert. You're all clean shaven today. Is that when you go out in public?

[John Holmberg]

I gotta go. I gotta go make some money. Visit the people. He's gonna make sure he doesn't look like a pig, for God's sake. That's why I never leave.

[Brady Bogan]

I wonder if you get another invoice from the sun saying due to the Devin Booker extension your season tickets.

[John Holmberg]

They already raised the prices back in March. You had to renew your tickets in.

[Brady Bogan]

March for a 36 win team. They raised the prices a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Every year I've had season tickets, they've gone up. Jesus.

[Brady Bogan]

And you can't. And you can't sign a contract or anything that says, hey, for next.

[Dale Hellestray]

Like lock them in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, no, no. If you do, you're buying big seats like the front row. Mine are good, but they're not. The front row is a three year commitment.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Yours is a lot of steps to get up.

[John Holmberg]

Well, two is a lot of steps. You don't like. You don't like drop down living rooms. It's like not a thing for you. But yeah, I understand that. And football's right around the corner, so it's. All this is moot.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

All this is becoming pointless and who cares kind of stuff. Because it's great and I like to See that? The Cowboys. Cowboys are back at it. I think the Cowboys are going to win the NFC east. Because you know what? They're. They're taking a page from your guys team. One of their guys just got arrested for having a gun and wasn't allowed to have. And it's. This is exactly like the early 90s cowboys right now. A couple of good wide receivers, a quarterback that's solid. I don't know about the running game, but already the police blotter is filling up with Cowboy roster names and that means championship.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what's fascinating about that? I was talking with Kevin Guy. He's head coach Arizona Rattlers. I broadcast their games and they got their last home game on Saturday and they're fighting for playoff spots, seating, things like that. And I was asking him this about two weeks ago. I said, have you ever had a championship team? Because he's won a number of championships without. Because he keeps saying, oh, these guys are great guys. They're great guys. Great locker room guys, great, great practice guys. And then they'll. They'll fare a little bit on the field. I said, have you ever won a championship without a couple guys? One criminal that you had to keep your eye on and you're ready for 2 o' clock in the morning. Great point. And usually doesn't happen. Usually. You got to have somebody.

[John Holmberg]

You got to have a criminal. Not too far. Not Vonte's Perfect. Crazy. No, not Pac Man Jones.

[Brady Bogan]

Although, did you see. Because I've got a couple.

[Dale Hellestray]

Stanley Wilson.

[John Holmberg]

Stanley just went bananas.

[Brady Bogan]

That guy's the night before the Super Bowl. How. That's Dale.

[John Holmberg]

That's how good crack is. You fight your whole life to get to your. The pinnacle of your career and you're like, but crack. That sounds nice.

[Brady Bogan]

Not. Not Friday, not Thursday, not Wednesday.

[John Holmberg]

Super Bowls tomorrow. Stanley, do you want some crack? Yes. I'm going. How do you even say that?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my goodness.

[John Holmberg]

What time's the game tomorrow? I don't know, like three? Want some crack? See you guys. Game time. Yeah, I'll be there. Don't worry. If I can make it. And he disappeared for days on crack. It's great. Yeah. So, yeah, I think you're right. A criminal.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You need.

[Brady Bogan]

You need somebody that's gonna step over the line a little bit and you gotta reel them back in.

[John Holmberg]

You guys had Michael.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, you had Nate somebody. That's the thing I say. I got a couple texts. Evidently, there's something about the Cowboys. I don't know if it's a show or they're releasing little blurs, but I completely forgot about it. Michael Irvin took cuts in front of a couple guys to get his hair cut in the dorms in training camp.

[John Holmberg]

When you were playing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. And.

[Brady Bogan]

He didn't like the guy who was sitting on the chair.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Wanted to get off and took some.

[John Holmberg]

Scissors and threatened to kill him.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, stabbed him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he did actually stab him. Michael Irvin stabbed a man at the bar. Barbershop.

[Brady Bogan]

Everett McIver.

[John Holmberg]

Damn. Why you been holding this out?

[Brady Bogan]

I forgot about.

[John Holmberg]

How do you forget about that?

[Brady Bogan]

It's just one of those.

[John Holmberg]

Stabbed a teammate.

[Brady Bogan]

Evidently, a lot of black guys would go have this barber. They. They fly them in or whatever, and there'd be 10, 12 of them that get haircuts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Michael didn't want to wait any any.

[John Holmberg]

Longer, so he tried to kill a man and no one stopped him because the guy was. Wouldn't get it.

[Brady Bogan]

He just crazed.

[John Holmberg]

The barber gave him the scissors?

[Brady Bogan]

No, he grabbed this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I wasn't in the room.

[John Holmberg]

In the neck.

[Brady Bogan]

It was around the neck.

[John Holmberg]

He was trying to kill. God. Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just a little snafu.

[John Holmberg]

Right back to warning.

[Dale Hellestray]

It's a warning jab.

[John Holmberg]

Did he get his hair cut after that? Did the dude get up?

[Brady Bogan]

No, he had. He had to go get.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he had to go get stitches and get. Yeah, get his juggling regular protection head to the locker room. This is the kind of stuff you get from Dale.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I've not heard this.

[Brady Bogan]

Some of that came up because somebody's writing a book on Troy and so this guy called me.

[John Holmberg]

And you told him that story?

[Brady Bogan]

No, he. He brought it up to me. And again, I. I knew some of it. I didn't know the whole thing.

[John Holmberg]

Does Michael admit to this?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think he'd sit down here and talk about it, but it's. It's. It's substantial.

[John Holmberg]

You have to understand something.

[Brady Bogan]

You go beast mode when you need a haircut.

[John Holmberg]

You got to get your beast mode.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not waiting any longer. That's you.

[John Holmberg]

It's taking too long. He's got them dreadlocks. Get him out of that seat. That's mine. Give me the ball. I'll never forget that when we were playing in your charity tournament and I was on his team, and I had the ball at the three point strike. And I'm about to make a move, and I turn and there's Michael a foot from me. Give me the ball. What? Give me me the ball. We're on the same team. I know steals it from me. Hits a shot and turns and goes, I'm 40. And then he ran down. I didn't even know what it meant. He was turning 40 like that week. I know what it was. And he lost his mind and he kept stealing the ball from me.

[Brady Bogan]

I think him and Rob Moore were going at it or something.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was a Anquan Bolden. Oh, was it anquan and Josh McCown and him. He had a problem with Anquant and McCown's dunks. They were youthful and it was driving him nuts. He didn't try to kill them, which was evidently going to happen later. He's growing up.

[Dale Hellestray]

Well, Dale knew not to have any any scissors available.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they'll kept all the strap objects.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't go to that.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't go to the same bar? Are you sure you weren't a hide and tight fade anyway. Wow. Well, that's a good one. Dale. Dale Hell stray talks about the attempted murder of the world champion Dallas Cowboys in 1990 through 1994.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Man, oh man. 1996, 95 season. I think it was a strike year. Not real sure what happened. It ended funny. I know. It just didn't end right. It was a failure for.

[Brady Bogan]

But that had to be a fun season for you.

[John Holmberg]

No, it wasn't. It's a nightmare.

[Aafion Crockett]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

It's the Larry Brown to the super bowl and lost. Don't lose Super Bowls. It hurts when they lose. It's even more of a failure. Not making it is less of a failure than getting it.

[Brady Bogan]

Really.

[John Holmberg]

You're on the field playing for the title and you lose what you got there as a. If that's enough for you as a player. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

Making it to a Super bowl or playing a Super bowl is accomplishing a lot of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's great. I'm going to get you both some flowers and tampons. Enough. If you win the super bowl, that's what you were there to do. If you lose it, it's a failure.

[Brady Bogan]

I, I, I don't lose Super Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, see, and you can say that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, yes.

[John Holmberg]

And had you lost one, you'd be like, no, I'm just enough to get there. Bull crap. You'd have been like, no, it still hurts. It's still AFC Championship game. You guys won't shut up about the NFC Championship game in San Francisco. Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

Because was a fail. Are you kidding?

[John Holmberg]

One play.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Of your failed season that year? Well, the Ners went on and won a Super Bowl. Wow. Because you guys couldn't get over the hump because of one play.

[Brady Bogan]

Who's this Jack?

[John Holmberg]

Sean. He's filling in for Larry. Don't worry about it.

[Brady Bogan]

He's raised.

[John Holmberg]

See, he's a Niners fan.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, there's one in every bunch, isn't there?

[John Holmberg]

Well you're saying homosexuals. You're making fun of Sean. I. I apologize, Sean. That was uncalled for.

[Aafion Crockett]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[John Holmberg]

No members if we. I have heard enough of this.

[Aafion Crockett]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. It's time for Brady and Dale to entertain you all. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the Home Tactical Black self defense training. Defend yourself from Michael Irvin and every everyone like him. When you're. When the guys up there at Tactical Black and get you at the barbershop. He's trying to get your high and tight fade and the next thing you know a crazed drug addict wide receivers trying to stab you in the neck with scissors. What do you do? You'll know what to do if you're up [e-mail] and they're doing it two months. 199 bucks is what you get everything they have to offer. That's personal training for a price. You get nowhere else for training that isn't available anywhere else. Check it out. Become a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. Reactdefense.com the home of Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Dale Hellestray]

Peter Jackson and his partner Fran Walsh. They've donated 15 million to resurrect the giant moa bird. They teamed up with that colossal Biosciences that's doing the woolly mammoth.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestray]

They're cloned able to get the DNA. They want to bring this extinct bird back that the giant moa stands about 15ft tall and weighs a couple thousand.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. No.

[Dale Hellestray]

And he wants to bring back to New Zealand.

[John Holmberg]

Have you seen Jurassic park? No go. All 10 of them. They get worse as they go. No, keep. Keep messing with this.

[Brady Bogan]

Who's this Jackson guy?

[Dale Hellestray]

He was the director. He's the guy behind the Lord of the Rings.

[John Holmberg]

Peter Jackson. You don't know anything. It's Michael Jackson was behind Lord of the Rings. That's right.

[Dale Hellestray]

Dale's got something. He's.

[John Holmberg]

Now why don't we do that? Dale. Dale brings up a Didn't intentionally do this, but brings up an interesting point. Why would we keep trying to bring back dinosaurs? Let's bring back Michael Jackson.

[Brady Bogan]

Do. Do we want to do that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because you could cage him and then, like, set him free to do entertainment and put him back. He's not a real person. No, because then they won't quit. It'll be like the sequels of Jurassic Park. Then they'll bring back Jimmy Buffett. They'll bring back Jim Morrison. They'll bring back. Yeah, you know, stuff you don't want.

[Brady Bogan]

To matter with Jimmy Buffett.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Thank you. You make our point. Thanks. Dale makes our point for us now. Now we know we're right. Is that Dale likes Jimmy Buffett. Because, like country music, Jimmy Buffett is for people with down syndrome. Wow. Yeah, it's true. His songs sound better if you hold your to. And you know what that sounds like the crowd singing back.

[Brady Bogan]

You guys do not have any taste in music.

[John Holmberg]

Making a parent on my arm.

[Brady Bogan]

John, it's a sad day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Why sad? Sad day.

[John Holmberg]

Michael finally finished the guy off.

[Brady Bogan]

Netflix is canceling Queer Eyes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady Bogan]

For the straight guy.

[John Holmberg]

The new.

[Brady Bogan]

The new version, it's after 10 seasons where I was coming to an end. The show debuted in 2018. How many episodes have you watched?

[John Holmberg]

I watch everything of the new one. Not much. The old one I used to watch because it was Carson Presley. He was kind of funny.

[Dale Hellestray]

He was at Dreamboat.

[John Holmberg]

This new one with John Van Ness is not as good. John Jay's gotten a job. That's what it's.

[Brady Bogan]

I.

[John Holmberg]

That's why I watched a couple of them. Was John J. Vanessen. John. John Van Ess of the same name, but he's a guy with a beard and he wears dresses and stuff. And it's a Botox. Yeah, don't do that. Dale, get back in your seat. It's okay. Those Botox.

[Brady Bogan]

Over the first nine seasons, there have been 91 episodes.

[John Holmberg]

Do you know that gays bow. Tex. They're b holes. They Botox that so it's smoother and easier to be a bottom. Dale.

[Dale Hellestray]

That's a. Dale knew that.

[John Holmberg]

That's a world you live in, my friend.

[Brady Bogan]

Cheese bigger than you just keep going to those things. How does. How does somebody even think about that?

[Dale Hellestray]

What do they call it again?

[John Holmberg]

The anal Botoxing.

[Dale Hellestray]

Yeah. I thought they had.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

So you get it bleached and Botox.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you can get a bleach. You need to clean it up, keep it clean.

[Brady Bogan]

Donnie, are you pleased?

[John Holmberg]

I would bleach it. I just am afraid to show it to somebody for that purpose. I wouldn't want to sit in a room with it up in the air to get bleached. Mine's pretty good, though.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it is. You looked at it.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I've done a little Clorox boxing on my own. I've not gone through the full diy. But you said. Who would even think of that?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The dude on the bottom isn't struggling. I think it's Jimmy Buffett concert. What is this?

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, Bird. I like it when you're quiet over there.

[John Holmberg]

That's what we said to Jimmy Buffett.

[Brady Bogan]

So the Netflix version of the reboot of the Bravo series, that's evidently when you watched it.

[John Holmberg]

There's a video of it, Dale, if you're interested in watching some on old Botox, if you want to turn your eyes. Come on.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on, Bird.

[John Holmberg]

Jeez Louise. Yeah, It's a video anal examination under anesthesia and Botox injection for chronic anal fissures. Now, this is not the same as getting it done to have anal sex from that. Fissures happen. Fissures are. Unfortunately. I had a friend who had them and I made fun of them and it was. Was. It's not easy. It's just basically. There we go. It's like you get termites in your anus. He had was the fishers and he already initiated the creams, which he time period. And then when I took a look in the office, I could see that he had anal fishers. And I like the term.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, how come we got girls out here grabbing the water that you got? Why don't you go down there and help them?

[John Holmberg]

I did my charity for they were. Whatever would you do? Yeah. Equal rights. See you down there. These ladies want to be treated as equals. So today's the day we're really putting that to us. It's hot out.

[Brady Bogan]

It is hot.

[John Holmberg]

Going out there doing that. It's crazy talk. All right. Brady finished up.

[Dale Hellestray]

We talked about the. The 40th year, 40th anniversary for live Aid. And they're doing all these specials this weekend. This is a list of some artists that refused to play live aid 40 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

They turned it down.

[Dale Hellestray]

Turned it down.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody did it.

[Dale Hellestray]

Michael Jackson.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Dale Hellestray]

Agent said Michael was pain in the ass recording, working on his new project.

[Brady Bogan]

Jimmy Buffett or Michael Jackson?

[John Holmberg]

Are you kidding? That's not even like a conversation humans should have.

[Dale Hellestray]

Rod Stewart, his manager, told the organizers they'd have to guarantee Rod got Prime time news coverage. Rod only found out this a year ago.

[John Holmberg]

Are you kid Thriller or Cheeseburgers in Paradise?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, Rice. You're making our point for us.

[Brady Bogan]

Cheeseburger in Paradise. That's a fun happy song. You're eating hamburgers, drinking beer, Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

Stevie Wonder licking windows, drooling.

[Dale Hellestray]

Stevie Wonder turned it down because he said he found out how white the bill was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, racism.

[Dale Hellestray]

I'm not going to be. Going to be the token black.

[John Holmberg]

Just lie to him. No. Tons of black guys up there.

[Dale Hellestray]

Culture Club.

[John Holmberg]

And then tell all the white guys when you walk by, Steve, you go, what up, blood? Excuse me, Holmes. This is exactly why I'm here. I enjoy all these brothers. What up, Holmes?

[Brady Bogan]

How you doing, player? Did you ever hear Shaq tell the story of meeting Stevie Wonder?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

He. He's. He got an elevator in LA or something, and. And Stevie Wonder was on there with. With one of his handlers. And Shaq gets on the elevator, and Steven said, what's up?

[Dale Hellestray]

Shaq doesn't say anything. He walks.

[John Holmberg]

He's been faking it, is what he said.

[Brady Bogan]

He goes. I swear he can see.

[John Holmberg]

Comedian Dion Cole took a girl to a Stevie Wonder concert. And they were in the front row, and somewhere or another one of Stevie's handlers said, stevie would like to meet you. And said, he took. Took us backstage. And then Stevie's like, I would like you to come to my room and. And took him in the room. And Dion had to stand outside. And he said, I'm pretty sure she boned Stevie Wonder in there. And he's like, how did he know to point her out in the front row in the first place?

[Brady Bogan]

There's something fishy about that.

[John Holmberg]

You think Stevie's been faking it?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You can't trust Stevie Wonder.

[Brady Bogan]

What up, blood?

[John Holmberg]

Hello, player. He just kept going, thinking, so many brothers. Well, it was for Africa. So when you think about it, Stevie might have had a point where all.

[Dale Hellestray]

These culture clubs turned it down.

[John Holmberg]

Where's the black?

[Dale Hellestray]

You know why? Cuz Boy George, Stanley Wilson, he was.

[John Holmberg]

Always too coked up together.

[Dale Hellestray]

Def Leppard.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Dale Hellestray]

That was the year Rick Allen just lost.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Their drummer was missing a limb, and he hadn't learned to play with one arm yet.

[Dale Hellestray]

Huey Lewis in the news. This last one, they pulled out because of concerns on how the money raised would actually be used.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what I would have said, because you know why they raised all that money? For Africa. You know, we are the world and this, this. And they're still hungry so where'd the money go? If.

[Brady Bogan]

Enough.

[John Holmberg]

Johnny Deal. If I gave you $200 million in 1985 for one song, you could at least make it to one nation.

[Dale Hellestray]

Did you get a video of a Live Aid airplane dropping? A bunch of the One. One drop.

[John Holmberg]

You never see any fat people saying thank you for we are the World. Like, they fix everything. Look at my belly. And they're fat and they're running around with diabetes and like they. Phoenix Suns world champion jerseys on and you know, championship gear. Steelers championship. Oh, no, no. There's too many choices, Dale. We got more than your team. Don't start. Only two losses. The Cowboys have several.

[Brady Bogan]

Not when I was.

[John Holmberg]

All right, calm down.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, same time.

[John Holmberg]

And we're done talking.

[Dale Hellestray]

There's a lot of Bengal fans over there.

[John Holmberg]

There are a lot of Bengals champions. Three. Three generations in fact. Bengals losing. Super Bowls. Failed seasons. Each one. Each one. Now, Bengals fans will say that was great. And they'll celebrate. But it's losing.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't like your theory.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's true. It's a fact.

[Brady Bogan]

The whole. The whole regular season, you're excited, you're.

[John Holmberg]

Having fun, and then you're ultimately what? First place loser. Completely, completely let down Bears fan over here. Yeah, I know. I know better than any. Other than Brady. I know better than anybody. The Bengals. Actually, the Bengals are probably better than the Bears over time. That's horrible to say. Anyway, we've picked the right team still, that's all I can tell you. These idiots. I have eight Super Bowls and two disappointments.

[Brady Bogan]

You guys have won eight?

[John Holmberg]

Six. But we've been to eight. Really?

[Brady Bogan]

You've been to six?

[John Holmberg]

Six and two. Hey, we've only had six successful ones. All the. All the other seasons failures.

[Brady Bogan]

Who did they lose to besides Dallas Green Bay? Aaron Rodgers.

[John Holmberg]

Now it's our guy. We're gonna. Yeah, he's a double agent.

[Brady Bogan]

He's married now.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't know what's going on with that guy. Talk football when football's here, Dale. Hella straits here. Courtesy of our friends prestige billiards. AZ.com. get it done. That's it. Good job, Brett. Hey, wait a bunch. I gotta thank Antonio from Arizona. Mailbox dropped off $1,000 to donate. Hey, that's great. Yeah. So big envelope.

[Brady Bogan]

Wasn't only a hundred dollars.

[John Holmberg]

You can count this. Don't worry, Antonio's my people. You got thousand dollars right here. I got these people that on top of the other place that dropped off stuff. The stuff. Morning. The pallets that you got from Winston, was it? Winston Waterworks. Winston Water something. This is Screens Unlimited. They're an energy Saving Sunscreen Company. 30 cases of water they dropped off here. This is a huge day. Nice job, guys. Well done. Dale, you've done nothing for us. Maybe next week. Since you're here on Thursdays. You bring a case of water?

[Brady Bogan]

I just take one when I leave.

[John Holmberg]

She was bringing 80 renting rooms. Christ. All right, that's it. Sean Knight's filling in for Larry. You guys have yourselves a great day. We'll see you tomorrow on the morning sickness. So long. It's not weird.

[Aafion Crockett]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.