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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. All right, HMS Podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. All right, just a Note that the three venues will all be closed on July 4th. That's Friday night. That doesn't mean there's a lack of comedy, though, because we have Francisco Ramos coming in on Saturday at Stand Up Live run on Hirshberg and Camp Bertrand, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday at Tempe Improv. And John Heffron is going to be at the Desert Ridge Improv on Thursday, Saturday, Saturday and Sunday as well. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com sickness.
Brady
You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil.
John Holmberg
Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 the year of pity.
Brady
Homework morning sickness. Gotta get up to hear it. Make you laugh until you peel they might make you come undone. Make your cockro with the sun. We'd like to welcome you to this morning's show with John Grant and Brady and big Dick Toledo. They call us hobs but we are not worthwhiles. To nowhere they speak on controversy. Who's bobbing? Johnny snob. They think dua's great for the faint of heart they're not. Homer's morning sickness you gotta get up to hear Makes em laugh, makes em cry. In all seriousness and fun. Make your cock rise with the sun. We'd like to introduce our main host. They say he looks like Squidward with that big huge nose. Ha ha. But that's a prereq. They own the mornings airing over 20 years like a blue pill they're still going. Brady comes in shorts to report the news he knows. But you can't eat at Porkopolis because it cloth Homework's morning sickness. You gotta get up to hear it. Make you laugh until you spiel Wipe you off when they are done make your cockride with the sun. Homer's morning sickness. You gotta tune in and listen. Tap that app yet. Don't get screwed in the end. All in good fun. Big red radio's got you, son.
John Holmberg
I just really need the Trump administration to succeed and to save this country. They're doing so much good and then for them to do something like this tears My guts out. So I'm watching Alex Jones cry again, which is hilarious whenever a man cries like that. But here's the dangerous thing. He's got a camera set up on his steering wheel, like it's aimed right at him driving. I don't. I don't like this at all.
Big Dick Toledo
Is this so he, you know, can multitask?
John Holmberg
I don't know what it is.
Big Dick Toledo
It's show from the car.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Why not just pull over and, like, you know, have a moment in your. I'm going to puke probably right now. My mouth is watering right now. He's going to throw up because he doesn't like what happened with the. With the Epstein files. Because I have integrity. What? And, you know, I just really need the Trump administration to succeed and to save this country. Dude needs to stop, like, stop driving and doing videos. That's the first. If you want to help save young people, don't drive around doing videos all day. You're gonna run one over eventually. I like when Alex Jones cries. I find that endlessly entertaining. When a grown man starts crying over a topic like nothing's happened to him. He just read some words he didn't like in a situation that made him upset that he's not really even related to, and he starts sobbing that he's.
Big Dick Toledo
Gonna cry either way. Because if there was stuff and it came out.
John Holmberg
Oh, no, the Epstein thing. If it was the other way, sure. But the tears for me are thrilling because he's not even related to it. He's just a news anchor. When news anchors cry, something has to be, like, against the entire world for me to be, like, emotional or like a dog story, But I would avoid that. Tighten up, son. Deliver the information. And they go, all right, cut the cameras. And they go privately sob, the way men used to. You cry in public over something, that's information you don't like. Tell you what, bro. I just gotta make sure that trash truck's supposed to pick up the trash on Wednesday, and I didn't get the bucket out in time, and I just. You're a lunatic. I don't trust a crying man. I don't trust a man with his emotions that out of. Check if you ever sat down at, like, a restaurant with me. Brady. Never hear about what happened with the Trump DOJ and the Epstein files. No. What's going on? You know you're not gonna believe what's going on. Jesus Christ. Lock it down.
Big Dick Toledo
Even that's completely different, because that's private.
John Holmberg
No, it isn't. We're In a restaurant. Lock it. I would still. I'd walk away from the table.
Big Dick Toledo
I know, but it's different when. That's the thing. I mean, it's different when these guys are doing it.
John Holmberg
Sure. Live. But again, if it's supposed to appeal to anyone. I believe he's that emotional. He's unstable. Oh, no.
Big Dick Toledo
Because he's.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Big Dick Toledo
Unstable.
John Holmberg
But imagine if I'm sitting there, I'm telling you, like, my dog died. I might get weepy. Yeah. Family member died.
Big Dick Toledo
It would be a little off putting that this is what's.
John Holmberg
But even still, if you told me in a restaurant, you know, had a little trouble last night with the old wife. All right, lock it down. Maybe we shouldn't be out. And you're not ready to be in public yet.
Big Dick Toledo
You know, what if the person. If it's a friend or whatever, they get one or two. I'm like, all right, there's more stuff that's going on, obviously, that caused this.
John Holmberg
I don't give you a whole lot of grace with the crying thing if we're in public, like, no, no, no, no, no. Lock it down. Lock it down. My first thoughts are about me. So they're going to think we're gay. And they're going to think I broke up with you. This is bad. This is weird. Lock it up. Just knew I talked to you about the Epstein files. I'm like, are you. Are you openly weeping? I'm going to go to the bathroom and not come back. I'm going to Toledo's. Dad this lunch. Goodbye.
Big Dick Toledo
I think you'd have. You have every right just to go.
Francisco Ramos
Knock it off.
John Holmberg
It would be worse, though, because you'd. If you. What? If you waited until the food got there and then Brady turns and goes, you seen Wicked? Oh, no. I mean, the ending part with the witches are, oh, Jesus Christ, lock it up. But yeah, don't cry as a man talking about stories. If you start feeling like you're going to cry, excuse yourself and go embarrass yourself quietly in a bathroom. Wrecked that somewhere in the 80s and 90s. Real men cry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We cry about death and we cry about, like, things that have happened to us. We don't cry about everything. Lock it down. You certainly don't make videos of yourself crying. Alex Jones has a lot of reasons to cry. Like, a billion of them. But I find it funny.
Big Dick Toledo
Not the past. Funerals.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Have you ever looked at being born? Have you ever looked at, like, yeah, but if you're. Okay, fine, still. But if we're at lunch together, and you start talking about your child being born, and you start crying. I'm like, this dude's an emotional lunatic. Like, we're not there anymore.
Big Dick Toledo
I don't know you well enough. I know I would never do that.
John Holmberg
I know you perfectly well enough. We've known each other for years. If you did it today, I'd be like, all right, see ya.
Big Dick Toledo
Exactly.
John Holmberg
Not dealing with this nut bag the day Kirby was. That's how well I know you.
Big Dick Toledo
Like.
John Holmberg
I don't think you'd do it.
Big Dick Toledo
No.
John Holmberg
Like, you're gonna break down too hard based on that. And if we're sitting at lunch and you start talking about your dad's funeral and start crying, I'm like, this dude's not over it yet. He's not ready to be in public. Lock it down. Lock it down. No more crying. Guys. When's the last time you were at a restaurant? You looked over and saw two dudes sitting there, and one of them was sobbing, and you didn't think it was hysterical?
Big Dick Toledo
Don't know if I've ever seen it.
John Holmberg
I have once, and it's hysterical. Any man crying at a table at all, even if he's with a woman, like, oh, this poor SAP's getting dumped. Like, you don't think I've seen.
Big Dick Toledo
I've seen women.
John Holmberg
Women cry all the time. They're supposed to. I'm not telling women not to cry. That they're emotionally unsafe. Help it. They're built that way. They are emotionally incapable of controlling themselves. We are built a different way. In public, a man starts crying. Hilarious. If you don't know him.
Big Dick Toledo
Drunken cry.
John Holmberg
Oh, the drunken prize. The best. Because you know what? You lose control of your emotions. You are not a normal human being. You've been manipulated emotionally. It's the best. I understand a tear rolling down a guy's eye, but the second you do, you're done. Go. Go hide somewhere. I did it at that Mr. Rogers documentary, but I was in a movie theater, and you know what I did? I realized that when I did that, I'm like, oh, Jesus, it's on. Like, this is bad. I didn't. I wasn't proud of myself. The next. Yeah, but it's a movie. They're designed to get you emotionally. And my next move for the next four or five minutes. Lock this down. Don't make that noise again.
Big Dick Toledo
It's a struggle.
John Holmberg
It's a dark room. It's a dark room. It's okay. Nobody can pinpoint it. And everybody else Is probably crying too. Lock it down. Don't leave this thing. It's still emotional again in the wheelchair. Like lose, lose, lose all the emotion. Let's get it back together. But I knew even then when it was okay to cry. They were. It was designed to do that movies with dogs that die. I'm gonna cry, but I'm not gonna talk about it. A couple days later and still open, like break down. Alex Jones has a problem emotionally. I believe they call that unbalanced. Chemically imbalanced. Man. I read some news today. Oh, check. Check, please. Let's get you out of here.
Big Dick Toledo
When? I think it was two days ago when I talked about the Epstein thing.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Big Dick Toledo
The government announced and everything. There was a comment about Alex Jones. Like, I didn't even know he was.
John Holmberg
Yeah, he still does stuff. He still evidently does it while he's driving. He might be for Uber or something, but he's. He's in his car making a mess.
Big Dick Toledo
Well, people are getting paid at least because he's still garnished for life, right?
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't know what that deal is. Billions of dollars. He'll never make the money he owes the Sandy Hook people, so. But yeah, you can't steal a man's right to make a living for himself. He just to take the extra so I don't know what his life is like. Car looks nice. Looks clean. If it was an Uber. It's four star just looking at it. I don't know about the crying driver. Ever got in the car with a crying Uber? It would just stay. Guys read the real estate. Did you read the article about the DOJ and what they're doing with the Epstein files? All right. Does you know we're not going to go change their minds? Canceled trip. Waymo never cries. I'd rather be in a. People always say that, like, what if the Waymo goes crazy? What if Alex Jones is your driver? Would you rather have the crazy Waymo that's going to go around the airport 100 times in a circle or dude who's on his last, like thread. I don't know if I go on. Get on that freeway. Just hit the gas. Never turn back. You know how it is, Brady. What do you do for a living, brother? Pull over. Pull over, you crying music. Turn up something else. This news gets me. All right, I'm gonna call away. Mo. Pull over, you big. Brad's going out this morning. He's not gonna cry. Well, if he does, laugh at it because that's hysterical. Albertsons as where he's going where? Carefree highway in the i17. We're testing limits with Brett. We're seeing how far we can push him directionally. Carefree highway now, I17. That's a good one. And last year, if I remember right, that one started real slow. And then we just got a slew of stuff. You can donate some water for operation hydration yesterday. Six pallets of water. I don't have the name of the company in front of me. Toledo will come in and yell it at me in a second. Update in the time it takes you to actually board that flight from Group 8.
Brady
Now boarding Premier Altitude Elite club members.
John Holmberg
You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Yes, that Amazon, where you buy everything else.
Brady
Mid tier Altitude Elite. Feel free to board now.
John Holmberg
So while you're waiting for them to make up new boarding groups, you can order your dream car and the dealer will have it ready in no time.
Brady
Now boarding groups one through seven.
Big Dick Toledo
So close.
John Holmberg
Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more detail. Limited availability pickup through participating Hyundai dealer in select markets. Holmberg's morning sickness. But six pallets of water, I never knew what. Oh, it was. It was communication. No, they put. They put cables in the ground.
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Unbelievable. I never knew what that looked like. When you say six pallets of water, man, it is a semi truck. It is tons of. So on our quest to get a million bottles of water for the Phoenix rescue mission, stuff like that most certainly helps. That is a huge jump in the right direction. Amazing. You can help out today by grabbing a case and piling on. Each case counts towards that goal. And you can do it this morning.
Big Dick Toledo
Get a shout out.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Cave. Yeah. And if you want to drop off a ton, but you can do that too, or some money. We'll talk to Brett. He's also got Volbeat and Pantera tickets. He's out there this morning at Carefree highway and the i17. So all you folks that are out in that area, go in, give Brett an envelope with some money, say, go inside, get a couple of those cases. He'll do it for you. Or you can turn around, come right back out and drop the water off yourself. Try to fill that truck up this morning. I think that's a beautiful thing. So thank you in advance and thanks to Albertsons this morning. And go get your Volbeat Pantera tickets from Brett. They're hanging out out there in a beautiful way. Brady, I don't know if this emailer here hates me or loves me. I'm in a very strange relationship with J. Foe. Now, a few weeks ago, back in June, early June, I read the one that says you're not a man. Quit saying Covid. And I said. I said, you're paid to do this. Covid doesn't exist. And your staff. And you continue to bring it up. Oh, poor John Holmberg thought he might have Covid. You don't. I listen because you're the best morning show around. Huh? Wait a second. All the pathetic sponsors that you constantly praise, they ruin everything and everyone. Endless commercials and pathetic music. Go back to the morning show. Cause you have talent for that. You're making me bipolar. Feel free to call me out on the air. I'll give you a good 30 minutes. We'll laugh. You lost me five years ago. Besides, you'll never be on the air with this or honest about anything. Just abide by your contract and your pathetic life. I've been a fan since 2001. What is going on? There's really nothing else around but you and Joe Rogan signed jfo. That one confused me back in June. Right. Haven't heard from him since. And I remember reading that on the air last night at 2:05am that's when you know you got something brewing.
Francisco Ramos
Is it from Maryvale? Can you tell?
John Holmberg
No, I don't know. He didn't sign. Like Maryvale Pride or anything at the end says, all right, you win. You toasted and roasted me back my last email. I actually enjoyed it because I'm a man, unlike you. I'm not a bitch. All right, here we go. I deserved it. You couldn't resist. But to go out all out several times between the numerous pathetic commercial companies. You're giving up on the Suns. You're a Steelers fan. Good luck this season. Moose Knuckle. You'll never admit, due to your contractual obligations, any of this advertising and marketing. What would Brady do? Who are these people? There's some sick stuff. After been very funny for 25 years. You've earned it all. Wow. I can't tell if he likes it or not. That's what I keep saying. I just wonder. The facts I presented to you, which being friends with everybody doesn't justify. You all have it made early mornings. You're hilarious. Then it happens. Commercials, comments, lame ass suck up songs. What the huh says keep promising everything you're paid to do. And Volbeat, what a great band. Solid band. July 26th out in Glendale. But let it go. They're not stellar. Keep living off your life and endless Backyard talk. I'm amazed. It takes local radio stations to keep homeless people hydrated, promoting endless companies and corporations. You're doing a good job giving that water around.
Francisco Ramos
What is happening?
John Holmberg
It's free. Yeah, but we all pay for it. For you. Stick up for your talents. It's priceless. Quit. Quit being a douchebag. Facts are facts. I hope you call me out again. I'll keep listening because someone said it's free. You sort of. From 5:45 to 10 pathetic commercials advertising refurbished songs. Enjoy being number one because literally there's no one else like you. This is hard for me to get through. At least I'm effing honest and crime free. Unlike most of your trash. Unlike most of your trash talking listeners. Now go get water for everybody because our governor won't do anything. What the F does our governor actually do? Nothing. J. Foe. I have no idea what to say to that other than don't crumple it up.
Francisco Ramos
We got.
John Holmberg
I got it on there. I got it. We're good. No, I'm trusting it's in a file.
Francisco Ramos
Created a file.
John Holmberg
I've created a digital file. Okay. If you know anyone whose first name starts with J and last name is like Fontana or something, be aware of them and just say, hey, how late did you stay up last night, Jay? Fo know, three, four o'. Clock.
Francisco Ramos
You're assuming he's got acquaintances.
John Holmberg
It's a good point. These are Those dudes at 2:05 in the morning saying, you know, I got a bone to pick with that morning show.
Big Dick Toledo
Just spitting facts.
Francisco Ramos
Yeah, not sure you.
Big Dick Toledo
There's J, meet Lady J. Yeah, talk to.
John Holmberg
Oh, I don't want Guten talking balls. Yeah, I don't. I don't know what. I don't know what a 200 face. I don't know what a 2:05am email is supposed to sound like, but I'm pretty sure they all sound like that. Yeah, not a lot of 205 emails that come rolling in there.
Francisco Ramos
I think he's a little pissed he got kicked out of the bar and.
John Holmberg
No, I think he just got home from one.
Francisco Ramos
That's what I'm saying. He got, you know, he didn't get.
John Holmberg
Kicked out if it's 205. Well, he got kicked out because they're closed. So he's not mad. They didn't want to leave. They love him there. Trust me. He's Jay.
Big Dick Toledo
Foe is there one side and foe is the other. Like it's multi personality.
John Holmberg
He loves us.
Big Dick Toledo
They're going back and Forth.
John Holmberg
He thinks you're hilarious, you piece of. Yeah, Freddie, you're the best. Doing great job for the city now. Keep doing your stupid, you know, slave labor for all these advertisers. You pile a garbage piece of. Keep it up. You're doing a great job. You're number one for a reason, my friend. I hope you die in a car wreck. Huh?
Francisco Ramos
That's like getting jabbed nine times and then stopping, going, hey, you're awesome.
John Holmberg
You know what it is? It's like, I respect you, bro. I think you're a good guy. But here's everything I hate about you. It's that conversation. It's that conversation. I don't know. I don't know. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do about it? You got no control. I'm like, what? What are we talking about? You're really good at what you do. Like, I am so confused by this argument. I don't know. Like, I would rather you were a woman. At least I'm supposed to be confused.
Francisco Ramos
It might be AI, but he has the worst promise ever.
John Holmberg
If he's AI. AI is good now. Yeah, I don't know what that was. FU Holmberg for monetizing your life, being hilarious and a good person. You dirty piece of. Yeah, if you want to go J foe the whole time, says maybe Brady wrote it because that's how he speaks in sentences. None of it makes sense. It's kind of half and half. Was he reading a Brady report script or just trying out for the Volbeat post it game?
Big Dick Toledo
See, at least he's consistent.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I don't know. That's a weird one. He's bipolar, that's for sure. Maybe it's one of them Gilbert moms that hates me so much for calling out truths about how that paranoid group of fragile heads is out there screaming and crying about things that aren't that big a deal. That is a drunk man right there. Said, wait a minute. What did I miss? John, are you really giving up on the Suns? That's the one thing that guy took from it. No, I'm not giving up on this. I'm not happy with the Suns. Dale will be in here later today. I'll tell you this about the Suns. Devin Booker signed a two year extension yesterday and so he's going to be here till 2030. No, they're not trading him. Toledo. They're hanging on to garbage. The suns are the NBA's junk drawer now. My friend Brian said that yesterday. I'm like, you are so right. Everybody's got three or four screwdrivers or a couple tape measures in their junk drawer. You got extra and you don't need either of them. And then. But you just won't let go to the drawer. You just won't let go to the. The junk drawer. It has no semblance of order. It has no real plan. The junk drawer just opens up and you hope you find something in there. And that's what the suns are. They're the junk drawer. You open it up and you hope that all the things in there are going to get you to the next thing you need. But you don't get rid of them. Well, you can't get rid of it because you never know when you're going to need it because you don't have a plan. Yeah, the junk drawer is only there for the times you're like, I got no. I got no idea what to do. Let's. Let's consult the junk drawer. It's the. It's the magic eight ball of everybody's house. I need a tape measure. That's 20.
Big Dick Toledo
I've got four scorpion light.
John Holmberg
I have 40. Exactly. It's in there. In Arizona, everybody's got at least one. And it doesn't work very well.
Francisco Ramos
No, because the batteries have been in there for two years.
John Holmberg
There's free batteries floating around. It may be the used ones, they may be new. You don't know. But I've got four 25 foot tape measures, two of which don't retract on their own anymore. To do why did I do the other two? No, I know which ones are what.
Francisco Ramos
Oh, you do?
John Holmberg
I have no need for two of them to still be in existence.
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah, we've kept it down just to one that works in the junk drawer.
John Holmberg
The junk drawer has no semblance of order. The junk drawer is a disaster. The suns are the junk drawer Now. Surprise you now and again that the junk drawer has everything you need. And it'll pop up every once in a while. Oh my God, the junk drawer. What a great day for the junk drawer. I found the batteries. I found the sticks that smell good. I found matches. I got a tape measure and a screwdriver. Everything I needed today was in the junk drawer. That's a big win. The next time you go to the junk drawer, none of it's in it. You just got blown out by the Lakers. That's essentially what this is. You have no plan. There's no consistency to the junk drawer. There's papers in it. Why? What's that? I have a small plant in the junk drawer. An old, small plastic plant. Why? It's not good enough to display, but it's in the junk drawer.
Big Dick Toledo
I've got a water tester.
John Holmberg
Of course you do. Why? You're making my point for me. It has nothing to do with what's in your junk drawer.
Francisco Ramos
Lisa's got three checks that she deposited mobile still in there from like three years.
John Holmberg
Just in case somebody calls and says, let's see those. Write down the confirmation number. You only keep things in the junk drawer just in case. Break glass in case of emergency. The Suns are now that. And here's another thing. And I love the guy. I think he's great. I think he's awesome for the city. Devin Booker's not serious about winning championships. End of story. You don't. You don't extend what you've already got at three years for two more years. Looking at what just happened to the team you're on. If you were serious about a championship, if you're serious about a championship, you're like, let me see what you guys do in the next couple years. Because I'm looking at this roster right now and I'm saying no.
Francisco Ramos
But explain to me what his options are as far as, I don't know how NDBA contracts work. Is his best option staying here or what his best option doesn't matter. Doing something similar.
John Holmberg
Players run the league. The players run the league, right? If he went to the gym right now and said, I don't want to play here anymore.
Francisco Ramos
They can facilitate their own training.
John Holmberg
Of course they can. They've run. They can't. Coaches are getting fired because of players. There's no coach that gets hired. Devin Booker was in on the. He sat down a couple times in the meetings for the new coaches. The players are in charge. So he can go to the GM and go, so let's see what you're building here. And I'm not. I'm not getting a. I'm not extending this unless he's just complacent and content. Likes his house with where he is, doesn't really care if they have a good roster or not, because right now they don't.
Francisco Ramos
Again, maybe have Kendall over.
John Holmberg
They're a junk drawer. They have five centers, four shooting guards, no point guard, a forward here, kind of a guy here. They don't have a roster. Holmberg's morning sickness. So he sits and looks at that and says, you know what? Give me a couple more years with this. It would be like signing a five Year deal at kslx. What are you doing?
Francisco Ramos
What about the summer league? Is nothing going on in the summer.
John Holmberg
League for the Suns? What does that have to do with him? I don't know.
Francisco Ramos
But no, there's coming up, isn't there?
John Holmberg
No, look at their roster. I know their roster. It's not like you're. And again, if you're relying on the summer league to build your roster, you got no plan.
Francisco Ramos
Yeah, I guess.
John Holmberg
Right. This is a mess of a team. So the guy through all that J Foe email. What this guy got out of it or are you giving up on the Suns? I'm pretty upset with him.
Francisco Ramos
One quick one on J Foe. You sure that's a man, John? Because Jesus Christ, that sounds like my ex girlfriend.
John Holmberg
I'll give it to women for this. Almost 90% of the time the 2:05am email is a guy.
Francisco Ramos
You think?
John Holmberg
Almost. Yeah, always. Like, women aren't email reactionary. They. They stew on things, hold it in, and then later when they're actually mad at you, then they bring up things from like the Paleolithic era. Let's go back in time, thousands of years. Oh my God. I was a major man once. And you've got this. They store it. Dudes go home. Go. Yeah, give that dude a piece of my mind even though I like him quite a bit. It doesn't make any sense. That's a guy email. I'm almost convinced of it. Women don't go home from the bar at 205 and if they do, they're slump busters. They've got somebody with them. Yeah. So there. You get me off on the Suns right now. My buddy Brian coined the phrase and I couldn't agree more. Junk drawer. We've all got one. We have no real idea of what's in there. We just have a lot of hope. There's a lot of hope when you open the junk drawer that what you're looking for will be there. The suns are that. You look in there and you're like, man, I need a. I need a Phillips head screwdriver. But I need it to be like sunglasses size.
Big Dick Toledo
I know of at least six things that I can depend on. The junk drawer that's in there.
John Holmberg
Right. That's not a plan.
Big Dick Toledo
No.
Francisco Ramos
9,000 paper items in there. Rubber bands.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you gotta. It's a mess is what it is. And usually you're like, yeah, there's a couple things that are pretty good. Devin Booker's pretty good. You got a couple guys on the team that are okay. They Fit in the junk drawer and you can pop them out and go, this is a good one. We'll use this.
Francisco Ramos
But what does every junk drawer have? It has that organizer that means nothing.
John Holmberg
That's full of junk. Yeah, Sons are a junk drawer. And it's frustrating to be a season ticket holder.
Francisco Ramos
Toledo, to let you know, Booker can get the most money from the sun. So that's the incentive to sign for him. He has all the juice to go anywhere he wants in context of a trade. To John's point, the team wants to face to sell tickets. So they are being stubborn, trying to make it work without moving.
John Holmberg
They're not in control of this. Devin Booker can go to them right now and go, I don't like, I don't like the direction of this team and I demand a trade. You see it all the time. And then you got to trade that contract. And people would pick his contract up. It's heavy, but they'd pick it up. What he did was, man, I'm comfortable here. Most money I can make is with them championships or maybe it'll happen. Who knows? I want to do it. Who's like, this is. This is not a team. He's going to be 29. This is not a team that I'm going to win a championship with. As it sits right now, I need them to promise me that if this continues on another year that I got to see some action here. You dismantled the team that was in the NBA finals and built this and now you're cash strapped and he goes and takes two more years. To me, that speaks volumes about how complacent he is here. I don't like saying that and I hope I'm wrong. I hope that they've magically come up with a new set. I looked at their roster. They've been 18 year old center and two guys they're paying behind him that are centers. Also. None of it makes sense. You got six shooting guards, five centers. The team is not. It's, it's a mess. A coach that's like 14. I hope I'm wrong. I don't think I am. They are far from being contenders. And that made me sad yesterday for Devin Booker. I hate when I see that in sports when a dude sticks with a team that sucks and then you realize, oh, he likes being the big fish in a pond. He has no drive for titles. He has. He doesn't want that pressure. He doesn't like that. He doesn't want to be the guy that either got you there or did or Was supposed to and didn't. Devin Booker isn't the guy that's gonna be like, he'll get us a championship. I think we all know that. And there's nobody else on that team that you're looking at going, oh, that's the guy that's going to carry us over the top. Devin is the guy. He's the face of the franchise. Oh, it's so frustrating. God, I hate that. We'll talk about it with Dale later. And he. I bet you he has the same opinion.
Francisco Ramos
What do you. What if Dominating has a great year?
John Holmberg
Oh, I have a bet with Kevin Ray that Dominating will get a ring before Devin Booker. Oh, man, it's gonna happen. He's gonna have that bet. Yeah. There's no way that Ayton doesn't get a championship ring. Being a complete failure on the roster somewhere. Somewhere he'll just bounce around until he gets one and then it'll be a champion and Devin Booker won't because you know, you know DeAndre is going to stumble into one. Just like being a seven foot dude who's like, I can do stuff.
Francisco Ramos
Like Bill Walton, Celtics.
John Holmberg
Well, Bill Walton with Celtics still, somebody had to worry about. Dominating is just a dude that helps out during practice. Like, you know, he's in LA now, so at least his driveway can't ice over. He's going to make practice. And by the way, speaking of Jay Foe, I got a thing says, I'm sure you're going to get an apology from that guy when he's in AA with the other dude that was screaming at me a year ago. That's true. That Gilbert guy that got mad.
Francisco Ramos
John, keep up the great work. You are the south park of radio.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you piece of. I guess. Anyway, speaking of all of our clients that we just shove our noses right up their asses. Good dudes. Good dudes. Like him a lot. Those are good dudes. Doug Hopkins pieces. Love that guy. He's awesome. Does a great job. Does a great job.
Francisco Ramos
He's the face of LA TV too, by the way.
John Holmberg
Oh, he's all over.
Francisco Ramos
Got off the cruise. I was like, what?
John Holmberg
Doug's all over. He's great. He's killing Southern California. There's a guy who does similar stuff, but not as good as Doug in Cleveland. And he put up billboards and he's in trouble. Cause billboards have a thing that says, yes, I buy crack houses. And yeah, he does. But they're mad at him. They're saying, oh, I would just say that he's like Because I buy crack houses. Those are real things.
Big Dick Toledo
I'm lying.
John Holmberg
And he says, what I do is buy homes. Generally, they're dilapidated, abandoned. No one lives in them. We buy the property, we fix it up, and we make affordable housing out of it. Well, the Cleveland city council president's like, we don't like that. I buy that's trash. Says, maybe it should be with some people that are reputable, but not with somebody coming in, clearly making a mockery of the neighborhood you have. Take Cleveland. You are the mockery of a neighborhood. You have crack houses. This guy's got a great ad campaign. In fact, I'm going to say it in the next spot for Doug Hopkins when I do it. Hey, Sean, over here, chilling away for Doug Hopkins. Yeah, you got a crack house? He'll buy it.
Francisco Ramos
There it is.
John Holmberg
He looks like a crazy person. Yeah, he does. But he buys crack houses. Doug Hopkins has told me stories about wandering in a house.
Francisco Ramos
You're welcome, community.
John Holmberg
Exactly. Nobody else is gonna buy it. So if you've got a crack house and you want more crack and you're out of money, that's the dude to call. Hopkins will give you crack cash as is for your home, and you wander the streets looking for crack. Doug will fix your house up, make your neighborhood better. I want a guy who's gonna buy.
Francisco Ramos
Crack house knowingly or unknowingly. Doug's bought a crack house knowingly.
John Holmberg
Really? Oh, the stories Doug has about a few of the places he's got. It's like, man, crazy. Now, if it's a clandestine meth lab.
Big Dick Toledo
Turn around and make some money on it. Doesn't matter what.
John Holmberg
But you got to be careful when you know that meth has been boiled up in there.
Francisco Ramos
Yeah, I imagine the remediation process is a little bit.
John Holmberg
But if they don't have the lab set up, I'm not asking any questions.
Francisco Ramos
Just paint it. Paint the walls.
John Holmberg
Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. The dude that sold it to me did not divulge. I know Doug didn't make it a clandestine meth lab. So the people he sold it to can go back two steps and go, pretty sure we know who did this. Crack houses, somebody. I love that there's a company out there that's willing to do that. If I had a crack house in my neighborhood, sweep that up. Somebody's got to buy that crack house. Now, my neighborhood, somebody would buy it because it's a really nice neighborhood. There's a crack house in it. We'd kick those people out and we'd get good people. And they're not selling or making crack like you said.
Francisco Ramos
He says, why are people complaining? These are not occupied. They're eyesores. No one's living in them. We do buy these properties.
John Holmberg
We fix them up.
Francisco Ramos
We make affordable housing out of them. What is the issue?
John Holmberg
I'll tell you what the issue is.
Francisco Ramos
Gilbert Moss.
John Holmberg
No. Cleveland has exposed nerves about people making fun of their city. So the second you say the crack house, they're like, whoa, where? Well, we don't. Ohio. You look right there. Ohio doesn't like to admit when things goes wrong. They're still defending Ohio state.
Francisco Ramos
Didn't we play 3,000 sex? Dude, that song. That was about Cleveland. Well, that was about all of it. Everything bad.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, yeah. That was a long time ago. The guy that made fun of Cleveland, mistake.
Francisco Ramos
Everything was wrapped.
John Holmberg
It's known as the mistake on the lake. So when you've got billboards that say, we buy crack houses, it reminds everybody they're in Cleveland, and nobody likes to be reminded of that. Toledo probably has that. We have crack houses. And everybody's like, of course you do. Your Toledo. They still don't like to acknowledge it. They say things like, they're still really good parts of Toledo. Yeah, I don't know about that. I saw about 80%.
Big Dick Toledo
It's gonna be first in on that here. Running billboards.
John Holmberg
The Hopkins. Yeah. He did market the billboard over on main street that says the thing about trailers. That ain't a good picture of a trailer.
Francisco Ramos
You can Home buyer Andy's buying crack houses.
John Holmberg
We don't know. I don't know if he can or not. I just want people to do it. I want somebody buying crack houses. So that guy. We should put the billboards up. Doug Hopkins. Your commercials are safe with me from here on out. Even if you live in a crack house, you want some crack money, they'll go give you cash for your crack and house. You can keep the crack, scoop all that crack up and get out of there. Doug will clean it up. That's a service that this city. You know who's gonna do it if he doesn't? The city.
Big Dick Toledo
Or it just sits there, right?
John Holmberg
And they're gonna have to go in there and either clean it up or board it up or keep an eye on it or put a fence around it. They're gonna spend some money on the crack house. People are. That's a good group. It's a damn fine group. And also, you have to be careful of this. Another thing I saw yesterday, Michael Rapaport, who's been in here a few times. We all know Michael Rapaport. He posted a meme of what he thought, I think. I don't know if he knew if it was AI or not, but it was an AI picture of a guy in the Auschwitz camp, one of the prisoners playing a violin. I didn't see the post, but everybody's mad at him because it wasn't real. It's an AI. It looked pretty real to me. It's a. It's. Look. Would you know this was AI. It's a. I mean, it is emaciated dude in a camp playing a violin. And I don't know what Michael Rappaport's point was. It says he's under fire for sharing social media picture where a prisoner in a concentration camp. The Auschwitz Museum Memorial said it's. We checked it. It's fake and it's disrespectful. Can't. Can't we now AI, we're going to be wrong a lot with AI over the next few years.
Francisco Ramos
We're going to be wrong more than we are now.
John Holmberg
We have to give people a little bit of grace to say, oh, okay, yeah, I'd have fallen for that, too. I didn't know that. I don't know. Holmberg's morning sickness. I just watched a movie a couple months ago about how they had boxing matches with the prisoners, and it's heartbreaking. I don't know how real or fake it was, but I didn't think it was disrespectful because it made my heart fall out of my body saying, this was a human. This was something humans did. So. Yeah, but they're yelling at Michael Rapaport like, he did that to hurt the. The Holocaust victims. And I'm like, I don't. I think they're all right with it. And maybe all he has to do is go back on. And I thought the picture was touching. Turns out it was a. I didn't know, like, you know, that would be a.
Big Dick Toledo
An easy fix in a way. I'm sorry.
John Holmberg
Right. But I saw that picture in AI or otherwise. I thought. I thought it was kind of the triumph of the human spirit. These people were facing the worst of the worst of the worst. Dude picked up a violin and started to give them music that's actually kind of beautiful, but it's not real. So. Yeah.
Big Dick Toledo
And some of them didn't have a choice.
John Holmberg
They were forced to play the violin. I don't know if you didn't play the violin. I'M sure there were moments where they're like, pick up your viola.
Big Dick Toledo
Just like the boxing.
John Holmberg
Well, the guy wanted the choice. He was a good boxer. And then, yeah, they kind of put him in there and made him. Made him fight some guys. And they'd kill him if they lose. That was the problem. So you fought for your life, for real. But I don't. I don't really think. Okay. And the one and the two was a. Like, that would be the easiest day at Auschwitz. Learn the viola. Okay. I don't have to pick up any anvils or. No, you're learning to play a stringed instrument. Today. I got the good job. I'm gonna play that violin. It's gonna be easy. Evidently, it wasn't real, and I don't know what that means, but Michael Rappaport's getting it. So you can get canceled for AI stuff now. Did he create it? And even if he did, if I didn't know the difference until someone told me. Was it that bad? I don't think he was making fun of anything.
Big Dick Toledo
We appreciate the nod to the memorial, but this was a bad. This was a AI photo. Yeah, sorry.
John Holmberg
That or just leave it alone.
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
If they were playing beach volleyball, I'd be like, hey, wait a minute. This doesn't add up. I don't think they had Wreck Day then, maybe, because that seems like a joke. This one didn't look like a joke at all. It looked like a. Like a touching photo, was somebody playing a violin. But they're all over him now, and I don't understand anything anymore. So is it a Fiddler on the Roof reference? That's a good point. I don't know. Is that. I don't know. He's not on the roof. I don't know. I honestly didn't see the whole thing, but I didn't think it was.
Francisco Ramos
Did he have the track? If I were a rich man.
John Holmberg
I don't know. I am worried more that you can get in trouble for an AI thing that you thought was real. And I don't know who it's maybe gonna stop.
Francisco Ramos
Brady's segment.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. Yeah. Because Brady's getting fooled by him pretty much all the time. And how many times have you been fooled and you didn't know Exactly. He's walked away from it.
Francisco Ramos
To your point, very soon we're all gonna be in that.
John Holmberg
In that camp, right?
Francisco Ramos
Everything we see.
John Holmberg
I have no idea. I completely got me.
Big Dick Toledo
You know, if it makes me laugh, I'm still sure.
John Holmberg
But there's the danger of. Of that generation having AI? Well, sure, if Auschwitz AI makes you laugh, Brady, you've got a bigger problem. This is a great one.
Francisco Ramos
Isn't Michael Rapaport that lesbian US soccer chick?
John Holmberg
No, no, no, no. That's. That's Megan Rapineau. And that's offensive that you confuse the two of them. AI. Michael Rapaport might be Megan Rapinoe, but you can't get into this. So if you do an AI thing and you're older and then you post it on your Instagram, just know, I can't believe this is happening. You might lose your Social Security or something in the future, start dicking around with Instagram and AI, I'd say, don't do it again, like I've always said. And it's getting worse. All that stuff is a viper in your pocket. You think you're having fun or you think you're actually trying to make some sort of a point or that you're being important. And the next thing you know, you look the day I get a call from the Auschwitz museum saying, I've screwed up and I didn't mean to, man. Oh my God, you know, bad it would feel. And you can't explain it away. Then TMZ is talking about it. You're like, oh, no, I'm not posting anything ever again.
Francisco Ramos
You just stand on your heritage with the Auschwitz people.
John Holmberg
No, I'm not. What I'm saying is don't post a single thing ever again. You never know, years from now, like, you know that thing you posted was fake and it offended the Auschwitz museum. Like, I didn't even know it was fake. And now I got this to deal with. Not worth it. Keep taking pictures of your food until Africa goes. What are you guys doing?
Francisco Ramos
Wait a minute. They haven't yet.
John Holmberg
No, they haven't got the Internet yet, but when they do and they start seeing America bragging about food, it's gonna be an all out war. What is Tiramisu. You have photos of it. Tons and tons of photos of it.
Francisco Ramos
Oh, it's delicious.
John Holmberg
Oh, you should try it. You take photos of your food to rub it into us. It's not why we do it. Well, that's what it feels like. And the next thing you know, you're in a fight with Africa because you take pictures of food and people without food.
Big Dick Toledo
Like that after we posting of other countries food too. Serving up at the little stores and stuff. They're. They're getting it back. The bowls of flies and stuff.
John Holmberg
Okay, that's your Algorithm. Yeah, look, that's not what we're talking about. I don't think India and Africa care about the fly Bowls, but they do care about, like, happy birthday effort over at, you know. Yeah, that steakhouse over on Ivy and whatever. And we take pictures of food, mash it up. Don't eat it all. We're photographing it all. If Africa gets hold of that, that's insulting.
Francisco Ramos
Hey, we're a week removed from the Competitive eating championship. 87 Twinkies.
John Holmberg
So we just not just ate 70. And to have hot dogs, you think Africa looks at that and goes, you know, they're playing with their food. There's groups of people over there in Ethiopia that are just wandering around picking up. Does dirt taste good to you today? It tastes bad to me.
Francisco Ramos
Don't be jealous. He loses the competition if he throws up.
John Holmberg
So, yeah, I found something called the Internet. Let's look. Food, food, food, food, food, food, food. America has tons of food. This guy had 70 hot dogs in 10 minutes. I would like 70 glizzies in 10 minutes, too. I have not had them in my entire life. Keep it up with your stupid posts. I feel bad for Michael Rappaport, though, because I'm not sure what his intention was, but I don't think that photo was. I don't think he was trying to be funny anyway. You got to give him a break, too. He's a Knicks fan. He's been through a lot in the last month and a half.
Francisco Ramos
John, to go along with your point, did you see that the Marco Rubio AI version fooled the White House staff.
John Holmberg
We're all going to hell for this thing. This AI things got us. Wow. Older people shouldn't mess with it. Younger people are gonna. They're gonna twist you up and knots trying to figure that out. Don't try to keep up. AI's gotcha. I I.
Big Dick Toledo
And now you can use it to the other side, too. You post something that is real, like, well, it's AI.
John Holmberg
Everything's AI. I I watch cats videos where they make these AI cats walking around and pet dogs. And then the one where I was the saddest thing I've ever watched, there was this dog walking through a school, and all the students at the school were pigs, and they're teasing the dog, but they're not. Like, they're just oinking at him and pointing and, like, he just puts his head down. You know, he's been ridiculed. And he walks along in this big tabby cat pets him on the head, takes him home and gives him a bath, which I thought was odd. And I'm watching the whole thing. Gives him a bath, feeds him and stuff. And he's like, oh. And then the next day, the pig and that dog are driving around in a car and you just hear. And they run over a pig, and then they cook and eat the pig. And the dog's pretty elaborate. Oh, it's amazing. It's that cat. He does all sorts of crazy stuff. He walks around like people and he, like, saves other animals lives. And area's cooking. He's making like fries and stuff. Oh, it's unreal. And I don't know if that's the same page, but it was incredibly elaborate. It moved me. And then they ran that pig over, and the next thing you know, they have this pig with an apple in its mouth. And the dog couldn't be happier. And basically what it teaches you through the adorable use of animals is that revenge is the best medicine. And these AI cats have me completely like, I'm in. I wasn't fooled by it. I knew it wasn't real. I know there's no school for pigs, and I know cats don't give dogs baths in tubs, so it's pretty easy to figure it out. But anyway, by the way, to David Vasquez, I can't read your joke, but it's hilarious. Thank you. Just got it on the email. What do you got on the big board of musical Treats? We got to go to Brett in a little bit. He's out there at the Albertsons on care was a Carefree highway and I17. He's probably getting there right about now. Operation hydration going on. So we'll check in with him in a minute. But in the meantime, what do you got on the board of musical treats brought to you by our friends at Action Ride Shop. Get on out there. If you don't. If you had plans to. It was 104 degrees in Sedona yesterday.
Big Dick Toledo
Oof.
John Holmberg
Yeah. So even biking up north a little bit.
Big Dick Toledo
Crystals.
John Holmberg
But yeah, there's a lot of divorced ladies doing yoga in the woods. I'm sweaty. This is hard. I don't think I want to have sex with you today, Ramon. In the woods to get over my ex husband and get my groove back. It's too hot.
Francisco Ramos
Does your melted crystal adversely affect your chi?
John Holmberg
No, but the guy who gave you the crystal in the first place will lie and say it's good luck because he's trying to bone you. Doing yoga in the woods. Here. Here's Your sounding bowl. That should make your swamp box clear up and get us ready for the next move. I call it the Nasser pelvic touch. Is that good? Your husband didn't know about it.
Big Dick Toledo
Nasser yoga.
John Holmberg
It's Nasser yoga. That's what all these divorced ladies go do. 44, 45 years old. They pick up yoga in the woods with some guy in tights. He doesn't know yoga. He's just limber.
Big Dick Toledo
Don't you modify the shirts that say Namaste Nasser Nasarte?
John Holmberg
What's that? Oh, it's my own variation. Would you like to go out into the Sedona woods? I'm very limber. He's unbelievably did the splits and then he did this thing to my pelvis. My husband never did anything like that. That's why he's getting away with it.
Francisco Ramos
Bullet with a name for the baby Hit the floor by Bullet for my valentine. The Hives countdown shutdown always good. Ozzy. Mr. Crowley. George Thurogood. Bad of the bone for the Maryville baby.
John Holmberg
That is a badass baby. I'm gonna tribute to the baby. Bad to the bone. I like that one. Nah, they're coming up. We'll get some more Volbeat later. Bad to the bone for that baby in Maryvale. So much tougher than those Gilbert teens that can't get their hair pulled without calling the police chief. A baby got shot in Maryvale yesterday. He's fine. Maryvale, you rule. I'm a big fan of Maryvale. Gilbert. Take a lesson. Toughen up, buttercup. My daughter got her hair pulled at the in and out. We called the police chief. Maryville baby got shot last night. I gotta go to work. See you.
Francisco Ramos
See you in the afternoon.
John Holmberg
Where's the baby? He's in intensive care. He's all right. He's one of his friends from baby daycare is in there. Ray. Ray. He got stabbed. Maryvale? You brought a little formula? Didn't want. Didn't want. See the. I don't even know if that's the thing. The police chief of Maryvale going on. This is a problem. An epidemic. Babies getting shot will not be stood for. Mary. That's going to happen. Hannah got her hair pulled by Hannah at the in and out. Where's the police chief? I lost a rhinestone on my back pocket. Don't anyone move. Oh, yeah, I like this.
Francisco Ramos
She's no longer friends with Kaylee and Kylie.
John Holmberg
Bad to the bone works. This is a good one for that Maryvale baby. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Hi, I'm Richard Karn and you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. The brand new Pocket Hose Copperhead with Pocket Pivot is here and it's a total game changer. Plus your super light and ultra durable Pocket hose Copperhead is backed with a 10 year warranty. What could be better than that? For a limited time you can get a free pocket pivot and their 10 pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size Copperhead hose. Just go to getcopperhead.com that's getcopperhead.com for your two free gifts with purchase getcopperhead.com.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: July 10, 2025 Title: New Vid Of Alex Jones Crying In Car Over Epstein List Has Us Questioning Cryers - JFo Has Emailed In Another BiPolar Letter - Cleveland Investor Has I Buy Crackhouses Billboard - Michael Rappaport Posts Fake AI Holocaust Image
Released on July 10, 2025
Discussion Highlights: John Holmberg initiates the episode by addressing the recent video of controversial media figure Alex Jones crying while driving, particularly over the Epstein files. Holmberg expresses skepticism about Jones' emotional display, questioning its authenticity and the potential dangers of such behavior.
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Discussion Highlights: The hosts delve into a vehement email received from a listener identified as 'JFo.' The email is highly critical of the show, containing personal attacks and expressing frustration over changes in the program's content and advertising.
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Discussion Highlights: A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to promoting and discussing "Operation Hydration," a community effort to collect water for Phoenix's rescue mission. The hosts encourage listener participation and provide updates on the initiative's progress.
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Discussion Highlights: Holmberg and the co-hosts shift focus to evaluate the performance and management of the Phoenix Suns basketball team. The analogy of the Suns being like a "junk drawer" underscores the perceived disorganization and lack of strategic planning within the team.
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Discussion Highlights: The hosts analyze the marketing campaigns of Cleveland-based investor Doug Hopkins, who advertises buying "crack houses" to refurbish them into affordable housing. Despite Hopkins' intentions, the campaign has sparked controversy and ridicule.
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Discussion Highlights: A significant segment is devoted to the incident involving actor Michael Rapaport, who shared an AI-generated image depicting a Holocaust scene. The image was deemed fake and disrespectful, leading to public backlash.
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Discussion Highlights: The episode concludes with lighter segments covering local weather conditions, humorous takes on yoga practices in Sedona, and a brief mention of a local incident involving a baby being shot in Maryvale.
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This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" navigates a variety of topics, from political controversies and community initiatives to sports critiques and the ethical use of AI. The hosts maintain their characteristic blend of humor and candid discussion, engaging listeners with both serious analysis and light-hearted banter. Notable moments include the deep dive into Alex Jones' emotional state, handling of listener criticism, and the insightful critique of local sports and real estate marketing strategies. The episode underscores the show's commitment to tackling both local and broader societal issues with wit and unfiltered honesty.