← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
07-11-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
02:56:38
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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. When you run a business, there are a lot of boxes to check. Let's see, Payroll, Check. Inventory. Check. Insurance. Well, good things. Simply Business makes getting small business insurance fast and easy. Just answer a few questions, review your quotes and get covered in under 10 minutes all online. It's that simple. Check insurance. Off your list at Simply Business. Dot Comberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 the Eve of PT Good morning everybody. Lowther. Welcome to Friday. It's 7:11. We're giving away free stuff. Like, I'm sure 7:11. Oh, yeah, it's free stuff. Slurpee craz 7:11 day. Hi there. This is the morning signature. My name is John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. And off and running for yet another glorious day. And let me say this to start the whole show. If you are one of the people who have been donating to Operation Hydration, one of the. Well, we have that. Say a trucking company. You had Winston water coolers. American mailbox. American. The guy scrapped off money. And someone from our sales staff is going to probably call you. Ignore it. Ignore it. They're going to ruin it. It's a charity event, Don. Let it turn into this. They're under so much immense pressure for whatever reason that they start to call up our charity people who are so sweet and start to barrage them like we're a timeshare. I will apologize in advance and just say they're very nice people, but just say no. Just. That's all I can tell you. Just. I know I'm gonna get yelled at for this. I'll write a check. I don't care. That's fine. Unless it's Toledo or Ben. Don't answer the phone if it says kupd. If it says kupd. Yeah, it's gonna be one of them. Yeah. And you're gonna be in a Ramada Inn for four hours, like, watching a. Like, just don't. We want you to continue to be incredibly gracious and giving. And one thing that ruins that is sales. So this is a charity event. This is not us trying to make money. So please ignore them. I know our company wants. It hates me doing this. Don't care when you. When you're. When you're pressed so hard by your company to do charity work, and they love when you do. And they then. And they get. They get trophies and stuff for this. And I don't understand why they. They go to, like, events to try to win trophies. Incentives. Steak knives, BMW. Yeah. Throw some stuff in. But they literally have an event every year for the radio executives to go up and have. I'm turning into Corolla. You know, these idiots, they run radio. They have this event every year where they pat themselves on the back for. For all the we do on the air. And then. And then they ruin it and we have to fix it. So I'm doing it before they ruin it. If anyone from sales calls you about your charitable donation and how they ignore them, I'm not sure who it was, but I got a call yesterday from our sales. Can I speak to the owner of Brady's Sauce? Speaking. Hey, Heather. What's up? How do you know me? I'm standing next to you. You called me. I'm literally at your desk. Anyway, that's not too far from. That's weird. I won't give him any. I got into a fight. Like, a funny fight, but it was like. They're like, what's the name of that company that drops off? I'm not telling any of you vultures. There's no way we could get them for them. Like, you're not getting them for anything. They're generous, kind people. Don't ruin that. Our advertising is amazing. If you want to advertise, that's different. If somebody's place and time. Place and time. There you go. Place and time. You don't fleece people at charity events for more. They already gave. They're giving. You don't ask Santa for more and then, like, make him pay. If they want to, they'll come. Come to you as advertisers, not as donors. Go to enough charity events. The last thing you need is them hitting you up again after you already donated. So I'm putting that out there right now. Stop it. Stop wrecking our event. Go to your stupid Crystal Ball award or whatever that thing is and start to scream and yell about how unbelievably charitable your radio station is. And keep in mind, it's me, mother. I don't get an award so I can ruin this. Stop wrecking our stuff. But, John, it's a slump buster they're trying to break. I know, I know. The sales people, they're on their way. Their leader. I have to say it. I've been doing this too long. I've watched this happen too many times. When they started in yesterday, we had too many. And this. This. This is a tribute to how generous our audience is. So many people came here yesterday to drop stuff off the screen play. I'm terrible with names. Kaliyah's got a list I don't have in front of me, but they dropped off, like, 20 cases of water. We had six pallets of water from that. Cox wasn't Cox. Irvin Irving. Irving. Cable. Cable. Yeah. You got it. Thank you. They came by, dropped off. These guys dropped off 30 cases from the hell is it Screen Unlimited. Countless amounts of people showed up. Seya again. We didn't get to them yesterday. The trucking guys, they're. They're coming in with, like, semis and dumping stuff off here. And our sales staff is like, what is going on out there? They got enough money for that charity. They got enough money for us. I'm like, stop, stop. So you'll get calls from all these wonderful people. You're gonna get calls from our sales team. Just ignore them. They're very nice. They're very. And if you're interested in advertising, sure, go. I'm interested in advertising, but don't hit me up about, you know, charity stuff. I hate it. Oh, I hate it. Chuck used to drive me nuts with that. You got a $20,000 donation from someone for Lost Our Home Pet Rescue? Yeah. Does he have any money for advertising? No. He gives it to charity. He doesn't? No. Clearly, his business is skyrocke. He's got 20 grand in his pocket to give to a charity. That means he should. He doesn't need to advertise. He's doing pretty well. You're never doing what he will call him. He makes rockets, and then the last thing they want to do is hear from you is because every time they do, you call them and try to hit him up for more dough. Let it calm down a little bit. So I had to get that out there because it's driving all of us nuts. I heard Brett bitching to Toledo that couldn't even get out there. People just like swarming them like bees on dropped ice cream. Anyway, so we love our sales. They drive us nuts sometimes. And occasionally, on their massive quest for the mighty advertising budget, they lose sight of what's going on. I'm not going to. I used to get in trouble all the time for saying, hey, KSLX is doing a great thing. I would say about, like, Kez, I still Think Kez got the best charity thing I've ever seen. If they're still behind it, I'm pretty sure they are. Channel 3 does the Christmas angel program. I think that's the most unbelievably generous thing that the city does every year. Love it. Absolutely love it. Sounds great on the radio, but when I say, hey, go give to them, I used to get it. Why are you telling people about it? Because it's beautiful. It's a wonderful thing. It's the competition. There's no competition with orphans. You don't go there. Goddamn orphans aren't as good as our goddamn orphans. Like, we're not gonna fight the. I got a call from a lady named Susan asking me to help with her slump. Buster. Is this. Am I to believe this is sales related? That's the it's our time broad. Yeah, it is. Yeah, that's her. It's our time. So. Yeah. And then they start yelling, we got to do more charity stuff. We got to win an award. Who gets that award? Well, we do. The people who didn't do anything. Yes. Doesn't that make sense to everyone else? I guess. Do I get to go to the awards ceremony? No. It's all the way in Vegas. We're not going to pay for you to go to Vegas. We go. It's in Cabo. Yeah. It's always a screwed up part. And so I got. If I'm not benefiting from it and I got to pay for things that I'm going to start spewing the truth. You take that to the bank. All right. I got this. Emo. We got to solve this guy's life right here real quick before we get to anything else. This is a. This is a. Legitimately. I might actually wait on this. I'll wait on this thing. I'll wait. I'll. Hold on. I should. I'll ice it. Cuz I think it's. It's. Yeah, it's got some legs to it. And I'm. And I. We need to help this guy for sure. And I think he definitely needs us. I did see yesterday. And I want this. And I. And I don't know how to order it. That they're now wrapping telephones in this synthetic thing. The skin. Skin. Did you see it sunburn? And it burns in the sun. What? Oh, it's awesome. It feels like human skin. But ones I saw, though, aren't iPhone cases. Yeah, I know. They're for Google and they're for Samsung. Yeah. Is that the only one they'll get to it if those guys. That's why I'm going to the Google, Samsung people need to get on this and make this a big deal. So the iPhone people. The first time you've ever been better for real, like you guys say you are, but if you're a green bubble, you're poor. That's all we think as iPhone users, we're like, oh, you're a green, green bubble. Sorry, things are going your way. And you guys, my wife. It's a much better system, and it's okay. You keep telling yourself that green bubble. And. And then I'm assuming you have to go drive for Uber at night. I do. Go ahead and get out there and do your thing. But this is the first time ever, I'm like, damn it, I want that skin thing. And it's also for people. I was reading about it. The benefit is. Is it for white people or people with. What? Yeah, because knowing if you're getting too much sun. Yeah. Because if your phone starts turning colors, it's like, so are you, by the way. So your phone' you can put some suntan lotion on it. You could. You can lube it up a little. And it feels. Evidently, I gotta get a hold of it. Yeah, I don't think you have to. It just. It burns. It's something. But if you're looking like, oh, jeez, this thing's catching too many rays. And that means I gotta cover up or I'm out here too long. Phenomenal idea. Just an absolutely great idea. Plus, it's just creepy enough to be neat. If your phone feels like you, you know, skinned a person. If you've got, like, Jane gum. Silence of the Lamb's Ph. And you've got a skin phone. Oh, baby. That's cool. Are they gonna catch some heat? Because. Okay, cool. It's only in white. Good point. It's an excellent point. Yeah. It's like pantyhose used to always get. Yeah. That is a legitimate concern, though. Back when pantyhose were a thing and black ladies were like, this is nude. Not when I'm nude. It's like, what is this? Like. Yeah. So they had to change some of that up. Yeah, I guess that's true. You have to have. So you gotta shop ethnicity in your phone case now, or what? Ethnicity. Get the word right. Doesn't matter. I know those. I'll go with the white skin there. That's what my. I don't think you would be. I have a feeling, like, most whites with emojis found the Black. The black middle finger. And everybody went with those. That's true. All the whites. I think if there were black skin phones, most wacky whites would have their black skin phone. Yeah, you're probably right. Actually, people like that. Yeah. Well, they'd be. They'd start making jokes. You see, the rest of them like, things like that they did this themselves. That they skinned a man. And the south would be. They. They'd have. Then they start. Yeah, yeah. They'd start liking it, too. You're right. We can't do it. Never mind. Whole idea is shot. Sales must have gotten involved. God damn it. It's over. Ruined it. And then you got the. The guy that's going to have this phone case. Like, damn it. What happened? My phone turned into an Indian. It's red. And. Yeah, now he's mad at it. Yeah. Never mind. I thought it was a great idea when it was people of color ruined it. Isolate that. You're right, Brady. Damn. And you know who really ruined it is Brett and his friends already. Well. Cause you guys would have walked around with the people of color phone skins and laughed and giggled and made it a thing. Look at that. Had a name for your phone. Isn't that. Oh, it does. It does have mocha. Okay. And kind of beige and then, like, Nordic. The person on the right. That phone shouldn't be out in the. When the sun's up, that thing is toast. That's not going to make it through a Phoenix day. But that feels like skin. And I don't know why that appealed to me so much. I thought that was neat. But now Brett ruined it by saying he wants one, and then. Then he can't even say the word ethnicity. He's got other words for ethnicity. Whoa. Anyway, I thought that was a cool idea, but as we. As we hash it out here on the air, you realize how quickly whitey would ruin that thing with making everything racist. Way to go. Yeah. I don't even. Like, the second, you know, your friend, like, fires over the black middle finger on his phone, you're like, oh, no, I have, like. And most of my friends say, I better change mine. The best one ever was Baxter. All of his emojis are little Asian girls, and it is creepy and hilarious. Like, it takes me by surprise every time. And he somehow or another has real big ones. Like, his emojis come through and almost take up your whole screen. And, like, the laughing face is a little. It's. She's got the hat. Hat and every. I don't know where he Got all these. It's hilarious stuff. But see, you know, little rosy cheeks and the makeup and it's. But that's. It's racist because they let us. And what we've learned from the Internet and everything else. If you let whitey kind of dabble in it. Oh, he will. He'll find it hysterical every time. So. Yeah, never mind. Thanks a lot, Brad. I wonder if Maryvale uses the white middle fingers and stuff. Yeah. Do black people think it's funny when a white middle finger comes up? Or they just so used to it in Maryville? Yeah, yeah. That's not funny to them anymore. I wonder what their joke is with emojis. I don't know. I don't either. Thunder horse calling. Yeah, because I don't do. I don't do it because I'm a decent human being. I don't flip people off with emojis too often or use the. The black fist to pound it out or the p. Thumbs up. Thumbs up. Yeah. All mine are white, but I don't know, is it like when you're listening to rap, an N word in it. You won't listen to that around your black friends. Is it the same thing with your emojis when you're one of those jokesters? I don't know that you send your black emojis to all your white friends, but to your black friends, white emojis. And do you have black friends? Probably not. So most of them probably don't. So I wonder, emojis do you send? I do. I send them. I don't send emojis. I'm a man. I don't know when that. No. My dad started sending emojis to me and I realized. My dad. I get the thumbs up all the time from my dad. I'll occasionally. Thumbs up or heart a comment like, yep, love it, thanks. Or you know. Or the laughing thing. Yeah, yeah, usually. Haha. Yeah. But I don't do the. I don't do the wacky, you know, little happy face crying and based on like how many I send is how hard I. I don't get it. I just like. Good one. There needs to be just one for people like me. This goes a good one. Yeah. The five or six little yellow balls with tears coming out of their eyes and like, okay, you laughed five out of how many? I don't understand. Okay. Yeah, I think L needs to be one. I laughed quietly. I didn't laugh out loud. I wasn't rolling on the floor. No one's ever done that. I just Write I peed. That's usually my things. Like that one got me. I peed a little. So I wonder. Yeah, I just got a. Swiffer just sent me a. That's kind of a neat one. Nice job, Swiftford. It's a black middle finger and then a heart came out of it and floated across the screen. I don't know how you did that. That was neat. Kind of like that. What if. Yeah, okay. This one says, it's like letter got from the listener, forget his name, J finger. And then. I love you, man. Yeah, yeah. Hey, you're the best radio host I've ever heard, you miserable piece of puke face bastard. Hey, thanks, buddy. Anyway, and then I saw another thing and this is. This is exciting to me. Oh, you're not reading it. Don't read them. Don't read them. Don't read your. Your emails stay on your screen. But Stephen, funny. Good job, Stephen. Off the air lq, when this becomes a permanent podcast, we'll do a few of those. But you're not allowed to do that and I'm uncomfortable with it. I saw something yesterday that I think is the future. I think there's certain times when you look and go, what's the next Apple? What's the next IBM? How do you get on the ground floor? This is it. This is absolutely it. I was watching a late news thing last night. It was middle of the night. I'm watching crazy. The AI has figured out how to take you on an LSD trip without any drugs. And LSD users are like remarkably accurate. Like they tested it out on LSD people, people. And it's like everything they've ever known about what an LSD trip is. AI is they can take you on rides that you will. That you can go on trips safely. Because what the one thing evidently LSD has, and this is what's kept me away from any hallucinogenic, is the quote, bad trip. You don't know when you're gonna go on a bad trip. And dudes will freak out and have like. It's like being in a nightmare you can't get out of. And they figured out just good trips all day. Well, it's AI, so AI is basically like, here you go. We've eliminated the chance of like a murderous nightmare that makes you scared of and giving you nothing but pleasure. And it's. They had VR goggles, but then a couple of them had just opportunities to go on these trips. I don't know how they did it. They didn't inject Them or there was nothing inside their body, but like, you know, they went on these immersive, unbelievable things. That's the future. As much as we love drugs in this world and LSD has been around forever and people eat drugs. The older I get, the more I realize I have been the oddball. You're the oddball. But most people do something if it's weird. I have people that, I never would have suspected that knock out coke now and again, never would have thought of it. And they're like, oh, yeah, that's just a little. I do that every once in a while for fun. I'm like, I never would have known. So we're always looking for something. And look, don't Pollyanna this and say they're losers because drinking is just as bad. Like, anytime you're trying to get a buzz or a little something on us, we all love it. People have bad trips. Drinking. Yeah. Oh, sure. Drinking's a depressant. Depends on how you react. It's a depressant. Everybody kind of has, like, less than. I mean, you can have fun buzzing when you overdo it, or you're a bad drinker and you keep going, oh, absolutely. Drinking is probably the worst one. And it's not even bad for the drunk. It's bad for everybody around him. That's what's worse. At least LSD is usually only bad for the dude on the trip because he's sitting in a room with a lava lamp by himself. But we love it. So this company is going to try to mass produce LSD trips. And, like, there's the future. That's it. Because we can sit and go, wow, it can do law for us, or it's gonna do medical stuff. Once this company gets hold of how to take you on an LSD trip, all the medicine and lawyers and everything else, they'll hop on that technology. This is the future. I don't have a name for you and I need it. But is that any better? What do you mean? I mean, because will that become an addiction? No, of course not. But at least it's not. Oh, the Internet already is an addiction. It's worse than everything else. So once we start going on trips, that thing could be more dangerous. I'm not talking about whether it's healthy or. Or not. I don't give a flying. I just thought about you, like. Yeah, of course, if you're curious, at least there wouldn't be. But there still is an addiction part. Dennis Miller said it in 1991. When we have virtual reality Sex at our. And you can rent sex with a supermodel and you don't have to leave your house. It's going to make crack look like Sanka. It's. That is going to be the new addiction. It's a dopamine. And everything you're doing, your, your brain will produce drugs. That's what you're trying to get the drugs to do is release extra of what your brain's got. But this is the future because it's. It's like the way porn goes. Hey, we came up with a new streaming thing. All other streaming things will be like that's going to be the future. And they climb on board. This will be it. And I had, I tried to find something about it and it. Little bits, nothing major, but it was basically an article that kind of went on. But it didn't get of the. It says if you've ever tried to. If you ever fancied the effects of acid without actually taking the drug, there's a video now that does the trick for you. A host of people that have promised. The short clip gives an accurate idea of what the typical psychedelic experience looks and feels like. So get ready to satisfy your curiosity without worrying about having it in your system. The only problem is now you can do it. Be addicted to that and it's not testable so you can do it. Work says most people who dabble in acid do. So they enjoy the hallucinogenic properties. And this thing can mimic that pretty darn close. It didn't give the name of the company that's doing it or the people that are about to release it, but it's an LSD trip that's going and they're. They're showing it to LSD people. That was the thing in the newsletter. They were showing it to LSD people and they're like, it's perfect. The first guy who's been doing lsd since the 70s, like that is perfect because that's one of the. And it wasn't like it was something he'd already seen. He goes, that's exactly the experience. And you can put it up on a TV screen and make me feel like, yep, that's. That is. That is the calming influence and the wonderful trip that you'll go on every once in a while. They're not all the same for everybody. But he's like, that would be a lovely, A lovely drop for him would have been this thing you guys just put out an absolutely lovely thing for. For me. And then other LSD users like this is great. So keep your eyes open. And if you've got a financial advisor, Jeff. If you've got a financial advice, we get Jeff Jr. On this. Trajan. Drop everything and find out who's about to sell lsd. Trips through downloadable content. That is the future. You just put the meta goggles on like you're watching porn and it's the one dude had. Had goggles on and that never took. Cause it's clumsy. Like, I've even had that. And it's just weird. It's pretty awesome, but it's clumsy. Like you got. You've got. You've disappeared from society. The first few people that watched this watched on VR goggles and they were really happy about it. But you can. And it isn't cartoonish and weird like the little clips they were showing. I'm like, wow, that's different than the, you know, the, the Rob Zombie video that makes you feel like you're in some sort of psychedelic thing. I. It was interesting what they were doing with people and the shapes of faces and like these melting things. And it wasn't constant the way they do, the way they try to tell you. And I've never done it, so I don't know what it is. But they're always like. You'd think you're just constantly in a, you know, a dolly painting where everything's melting and you're running and you're scared and there's an Indian and all that. It's not that. There's a lot of calming things and then just weird stuff starts to happen. So it's accurate. So the next guy just watched on a big TV and it was one of those rounded kind of. Of imax. It was huge, but it was. And he sat in the chair and he goes, this is remarkable as this is. This is exactly the experience. Like, this is. This is what your brain does. This is perfect. And he was going on and on about it and then, yeah, so that'll be the future of everything. And I for one, can't wait, because I don't. I want to know. Look, too many people we talked about a little bit yesterday risk everything to try, like mass and coke and heroin and whatever, and I know it. Or too many people do it for it to suck. It's the stuff it does to you after. So if they can figure out a way to just make you have that buzz and then. And then you're fine. It's still going to screw some people up, but at least we all get to kind of go, oh, well, that's neat, because I'd like to know what it's. I want to know what the. We had that guy on when I had him. I had people call him, like, know. I don't get it. I watch. I watch people on fentanyl and they just look like they're sleeping and they're miserable. It looks awful. I watched train spotting. There wasn't an ounce of that. That looked appealing to me. Why in the world would you ever say, yeah, let's try that. What have. What have you seen that makes you say, that's something I want to try. And everybody who's ever done it is like, it's the most remarkable thing my body's ever been through. You're just laying there, it's like, yep. You have no idea how good. My uncle, my cousin was a big drug addict, used to. To say, if you like sex, it's like 20 times better. And he said, but it's just not worth it in the end because your body's gonna close up. And I'm like, well, yeah, I'm not doing it. That doesn't like. That's the. The risk rewards not there. If it's on tv, oh, baby, I'm doing it every day. It'll be fantastic. You'll never see me again. Holmberg's morning sickness. And chemically, I'll be okay. My brain will just be all screwed up. But that's the future. And I'm. I'm probably not going to do the drug trips on tv. I'm just going to sit and smoke cigars and light hundreds on fire while all you people do it. Because I'm going to figure out how to invest in this while it's still on the low floor. This guy says, as an LSD person here, I can tell you that this product is just going to be like that sex helmet thing in the movie Demolition Man. It's not the same. Well, financially it will be. When all of the people who don't know different than you want to dive in, give it a try. Yep. That's a fact. You're right. It's probably not the same. It's probably the synthetic version of what you do. But for people who like me, who are scared to death of the real thing, I'd give that a run. What are you guys doing? Be all over that. So if you guys figure out the name of the company who's putting this out. Out or whatever, or if I find it, trust me, I won't say a word because I want it all for myself. But if you guys figure it out, let me know. It was really just. And again, when you watch TV in the middle of the damn night or you start digging through your phone and Neil DeGrasse Tyson videos start messing with you, and the next thing you know, you start seeing these things. Oh, it dives. It's. It's pulling me down. And technically I'm already on an LSD trip every time I watch watch Neil Degrasse Tyson and I can't stop. Or it takes me down a road where I'm like, oh, I'm in the. I'm in the hole. That's a trip in itself. Like the Internet takes me on trips all the time. So to be some sort of, you know, pearl clutching Pollyanna, that goes, I can't believe this is something. You do it every day. You do it every time you're on Instagram. Instagram is a dopamine releasing machine. You're on drugs when you're on Instagram. When you're scrolling, it's. It's proof it. Anderson Cooper was on 60 Minutes that time. They took his phone away and turned it on and it was out of reach while they talked to him. And then someone intentionally kept texting him while they measured his. They were pretending they were doing another stress test on his body, but they would ding his phone from across the room. His whole body would react like he'd been. Yeah, like he, like he was getting doses of. Of herald going. Like his body was releasing, like, I gotta know that. And you'd get these huge, like, what's happening? And your body was releasing a chemical from a ding on your phone. So to act like, you know it, that we're not capable of this or we're not all on drugs in the first place. We are, we are absolutely on drug. And it's, it's just not getting into our veins or we're not smoking it or snorting it. We're holding it in our hands and we're thumbing it up and down. That's a big drug. And we all act like we're not. I would never. Got two questions for you. What do you got? What's the update on the baby woodpecker? Oh, yeah, you're very curious about the wildlife. Well, I went, I went back to the house yesterday to find my lawn guy, Al, in the front yard. And I said, how's it going, Al? And I've got a sprinkle. Of course I do. It's 130 degrees outside of the course. I have an Underground sprinkler line that's not working. He goes, john, all your plants up here are starting to. Starting to crisp again. I noticed that the other day. I was like, I turned up the water. And he goes, nope, not gonna work that underground line right there. They gotta come out. Oh, yay. And he goes, wasn't allowed in your backyard today. Oh, she shut it down. Yeah. Evidently you got a bird back there. I'm like, all right, nice. Yeah. Did you give her the leaf blower then put her to work? And I said, I know you're running late, but if you want to go back there now that I'm back, you're more than welcome to go anyway. The Berg so those who don't know. Yesterday a baby woodpecker was sitting in the backyard and the world stopped at my house. I had to stop working. There were phone calls I had to make to yard people that made sure that because of this four ounce thing, the entire backyard could not be leaf blown. It's just not a thing. We couldn't have possibly put a little shoebox over, over it. Then said, just avoid the shoe box. But no. So yesterday the little woodpecker, its mother stood in the palm tree above it, screamed. And the woodpecker bounced its way back up into the little house in the palm tree, which is a good move. And then fell out again. Trying to. He's trying to fly. He's like the weakest one. So he's close. He's not even close. Okay, then he's getting pushed out. He's a rock, this dude. There's another one in there. I'm not sure he knows he's a bird. Like there's. The other ones are. The other ones are gone. I think they're out. I think they got jobs and whatever. This one is Toledo's son, it just won't leave the house. It's not really doing anything. It can't. It's not spreading its wing. I call it Alex the Woodpecker because he just won't leave the house. He tried to be out on his own for a while and his parents still had to go get him. So yes, the update on the woodpecker is that I have a ton of leaves in my backyard because Al couldn't go back. That's the update. He'll be fine. Or not. Not. Told you what to do. I look strapped a leaf blower to her back and put her to work was her idea. I should have asked Ali. I said, hey, can I borrow that leaf blower for. For 24 hours. What are you doing? Put this on your. Put this on your back. You effed it up off my basketball court. I'm not going out there. It's a million degrees. Well, that. Now the birds out there all the time. And she said, she goes. I watched it climb the tree. And then the mama bird was up there and. And it fed it, like. How long were you standing outside? Are you okay? I watched through the window. Oh, God. It's like a movie to you. Could be a bird walking. Got time to lean, got time to clean. Get to work, sister. You know what? I should have married you. If it wasn't for all the hair and poop, you and I would be a very happy couple. I came home and I'm. I'm leaning on a thing. And there's Brad's. What are you doing? I'm watching these beautiful birds, honey. Isn't it amazing? Not amazing when I can see that, you know, there's dirt all over the floor. You got time to lean, you got time to clean. I'm gonna treat her like I'm running a Bennigan's anyway. What are you doing? You got a bird watching all day long. I'm busting my ass at work all day long, telling fought jokes, doing my thing, dealing with sales. Come home to you, and you're looking out a window at a goddamn woodpecker. Let me show you a cartoon Woody and the bald guy. It's just like being here. Here's a rag and a mop. Get the word clean. You. I'm gonna kick you out of the nest Anyway. Thanks for asking, Brady. The woodpeckers and I can't keep up to date with all woodpecker activities. Just the ones that have decided to make my backyard their home for a while. I don't see those too often. Every goddamn day. Constantly. All over. Well, I don't see the babies. Yeah, you know why I don't see them? Because I don't give a about woodpecker baby. I wouldn't know it was a woodpecker baby. Just a bird that fell out of the nest. And I look and if the parents don't care, why do I? It's like me driving down to Tucson to pick up Toledo's kid. I'm like, if they don't want to do it, how did I get on the hook here at the woodpecker baby? Mom, mama doesn't want anything to do with it. Who am I to get involved in their lives? I'm not doing that. If I see Michael and Troy in the cul de sac, and one of them standing outside crying, I'm driving away. Yesterday it was. I don't know if the twink fell out of the tree. Well, if a twink was in a tree, I'd look at that. If he fell out, I'd drive away. Before I get blamed for pushing twinks out of trees. What were you. Mr. Holmberg was watching. You did help. Twinks and trees. What are you gonna do? I didn't. I want to see what they were gonna do next. And one fell out, and he did nothing. All right, I'm getting out of here. I had no. I didn't see a thing. Those two gay guys in a tree. That's surprising to all of us. Yesterday I was here, 52nd street, and Thomas, and I was having lunch with Shan, man. So I was gonna meet up with Shan, man, and I was running early, and I text him. I'm like, hey, man, if you want to meet, I'll be there 15 minutes earlier than I thought, if you want. He goes, yeah, okay. Like, cool. I think it's Thomas. I don't know which one it is. Right past the. I don't know. Like, I don't know. I don't know where it is. 52nd Street, Thomas or Osborne. I always get those confused. Dude in the light ahead of me, he's at the red light, and then it turns green. He doesn't go. And I'm about to do the horn because I think he's texting, and he gets out of his car, and I'm like. And then he just kind of grabs the door that's open, and the frame of the windshield starts pushing. Starts. Starts. Older fella, and he's not good at pushing his car. And you know what my first reaction was? And thank God for technology. I looked at him, and I'm like, oh, this is going to take a minute. And I thought I could ram him, but it was like, help nudge it. Yeah. And then I looked down at the temperature gauge inside my car, and it said, 114. I'm not getting out there. You're on your own, pal. That's pretty much what I did. It took him about four and a half minutes and two cycles to get the car through. I just waited. Ooh. I felt bad for him, but I'm like. He was trying to. I'm like, first off, he was dumb. You go straight. You push straight. He's trying to turn and push and turn, and he's trying to make a left like this Is gonna take you half an hour. And if you're listening out there. Yeah, I was the guy in the black jeep behind you, just not doing anything. I'm sorry. It was way too hot to help yesterday. Kind of. The black jeep is behind bunch of baby ducks on. Nothing you can do about that. It's not my fault your car sucks. I'm sorry. If my jeep broke down, I would. I'd put the winch on a tree and I'd tug it across the road and I'd be like, I'm out of everybody's way. I didn't honk or bother him. Weren't hanging out the one. Come on, Grab some places to be, pal. I couldn't get around him because he was so slow. Once he got a little momentum. And then evidently, incidentally and I didn't know this, every intersection has a little bulge in the middle for drainage so they don't pool water. And he hit. You can't see. It's like a mini. Yeah. But it started rolling back a little. And I watched him dig in. And I didn't do anything if it was. If the weather was more cooperative. It's the cold and flu season. I'm not getting out of there anywhere. I'm not doing this. But I waited for him to get just out of the way. And by the way, I wasn't the only one. Everybody was going around me to the right and getting through and going right by him. And at least I had the decency to sit behind him like, I'm gonna wait this out. I was behind you in line. What an angel. We're in this together. I'm not getting out. We're in this together. He got out of the way. I even waved to him. That's how generous and kind I am. Sales went up and tried to sell him something. It was amazing that they were like, oh, wow, need some tires. This dude needed a car. New engine. He's a. It's a yellow something or other. I don't even know. It was one of, like. Like one of them Russian. Like when, you know, Russian presidents drive around, you're like, what is that car? Like, they've got squares. That's exactly what this was. Only it was like sun yellow. So I'm like, I'm not. Look, no offense to anybody out there with a sun yellow Russian diplomat car. I'm not going to dabble around with poor people like that. That's. There's. He's going to end up asking me for money the next day. And again, I'VE been burned by helping individuals. I'll help charitable events. I'll help companies and stuff like that. I love that. But every time I've ever tried to help someone one on one, for the most part, that one guy that was going to kill us with cocaine and a baseball bat and all we did was put my friend. And I pulled over and said, do you need help? Yeah. You farm boys want to help me out? Like, what farm boys? What? He gets in the jeep with us because you guys. You guys need me to pay you anything. Like, we're good. Just take you up to Circle K and you do your thing. You do. You guys want some coke? You farm boys do some coke? And we're like, oh. And we dropped him off and drove away. Was this in Hillbilly Payson or something? It was in Mesa. Oh, wow. And yeah, it was before it was super developed. So this was probably out by Ellsworth Elliott area. There was like one Circle K, and he was just standing on the side of the road. And we're like, we should help because somebody had just helped us at the river. So we're like, we should pay it back. Pick this dude up. And all he wanted to do, he's just bags of cocaine in his pocket pockets. And we're driving around for five miles looking for a convenience store for them. You farm boys want some coke? We're not farm boys. Why do you say that? You're out here. Yeah. You're out in the farm. I figured. Yeah, it's like 10 at night. Nobody's farming right now. If I was a farm boy, I'd be in bed getting ready for tomorrow's harvest. Quit calling me. Now, you wait for. Wait for me right here. I'll be right back. Farm boys. Mark just goes, go, go, go, go, go. And we drove away and left him. We gotta get up early to milk the cows. We'll see you later. Yeah. The cat heard. I. I heard Daisy is crying. There's something wrong at the barn. Then we drove away from Sam Kinsey. It was a mess. Let's get us a wake up song. Five eight, five, nine thousand eight hundred a good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 can hear of PT H's morning sickness. You gotta get up to here and make you laugh until you puke. They might make you come undone. Make your cock rise with the sun. We'd like to welcome you to this morning's show with John Brett and Brady and Big Dick Toledo. They call us hobs but we are not worth miles to nowhere. They speak on controversy. Who's bobbing? Johnny Snob. They think Dua Lipa's great for the faint of heart. They're not. Homer's morning sickness. You gotta get up to hear it. Makes them laugh, makes em cry. In all seriousness and fun. Make your cock rise with the sun. We'd like to introduce our main host. They say he looks like Squidward with that big huge nose. But that's a prere. They own the mornings airing over 20 years. Like a blue pill they're still going. Brady comes in shorts to report the news. He knows. But you can't eat at Porkopolis because it closed. Bummer. Homer's morning sickness. You gotta get up to hear it. Make you laugh until you spiel what you want. When they are done. Make your cock rise with a sud. Homework's morning sickness. You gotta tune in and listen. Tap that up. Yeah, don't get screwed in the end. All in good fun. Big Red radio's got you son. It was directly from the leader of the place. Ah, there we go. Miles to nowhere. Everybody. That's the glorious Katie and the Hobbs starting off Friday for you. 6:46. Got an email. Guy said for instance, listening to your woodpecker story, it sounds like you might have a downsy woodpecker. That's a cartoon I'd watch. Down syndrome. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. It's just plowing through giant trees. It's so strong. Strong. That down syndrome woodpeckers out there cutting down an O. And then the bald guy just goes out and mashes it. It's one episode. Woody's not smart enough to get away. Woodpecker is licking our windows. Ew. Clit it. Downsy woodpeckers bagging my groceries. Oh, I've heard of about you. We'll see. I'll keep you up to date on the woodpecker. But as it stands right now, he's. You know birds are supposed to do with this. They knock him down and they're like go fly. Get out of here. What Toledo should be doing to his kid. Get out. Can't. Yeah, he's screwed. Can't humans ruin that? And this One said earlier in the. The conversation, you told Brett, it's too bad you're not gay. You'd be a great couple. I can't imagine a scenario of Brett being the bottom, but you. Are you okay taking that big Italian salami? All right, Andrew, first off, you overthought one sentence of this show way too much to hop on your computer. Andrew Krieger. And if I were gay, I think I'd want to take the big. I think I'd be. That'd be. I'm not. That's what's keeping Brett and I from being together. We're not gay. We were born this way. Thanks, Gaga. Ye. We can't help it. It's who we are. Would I be interested in Brett if we were homosexuals? Maybe. I don't know. He's hairy and disgusting to me as a heterosexual. As a homosexual, maybe he's my type. I manscaped, though. So I'll tell you this. You don't have enough money. I'd be one of those. And nobody in this room has enough money. Oh, I definitely. I'm not gonna look. So you're gonna take it from Tripp? I would, yeah. I would take it from Tripp for a little while. How are the ratings? Turn around. Time to make a donation and then, you know, live the lavish lifestyle. But that's if I was homosexual. Signing checks with your Mont Blanc pen. Here. Ow. It's a present for you. Reach in your ass and get it. Oh, another Mont Blanc pen. Thank you, honey buns. Yeah. Day Tripp is into it. He. You got an athletic ass. Thanks, boss. I want to take you to Baltimore this weekend, and we're gonna fire all over the walls. Okay, fun, honey bunch, but see, I'm not. I'm not. It's not appealing to me, but if I were gay, I think I'd be a size queen. And I think I'd also be after the cash. I wouldn't waste money with some broke dick. Gay. It's a man. You just go next door and try it out. They're both well off. That's what I'm saying. Troy and Michael are well off, but I'm not interested in it in that regard. I am interested in the idea of it, thinking, wow, that does look pretty good. And I don't think I'd go for Twinkie guys, because actually, Troy always goes, yay. What are you doing in your back backyard? I said it was a basketball court. He goes, we sports ball. Like, he wouldn't be a good twink. For me, Cuz I want a dude we can post up. You want a similar? I want a dude that's like me, that will do a little one on one. And maybe while we're doing some backing down around the post, he starts getting a little hard. You and Stebbings, I mean. Oh, Mark and I have talked about it a million times. I mean, you guys used to roll with your shirts off, you know, so talking about chicks, look where that got us. But if we were gay, oh, we'd be out there in Hopkins house the whole time. Negative edge pool watching sunsets and just be beautiful. Yeah, if I was a woman or a gay guy. Waste time with Brady or you, dude, better have some cash. I don't know what you're doing. Is that all love is? Yeah, it's comfort. I'm not wasting my time being poor. If I, if I can control that without doing work and all I got to do is blow somebody and get all the bills paid. I'm considering it as I say it. Are those dating services? Millionaire matchmakers. You mean smart dating services where the girls are like, no, I'm gonna waste my time with Toledo. What's out there that's actually like decent? Like, can I find a decent one that's already comfortable? I would do that. That in a second. If I was a young broad, I wouldn't listen to the social pressures. You think I'm gonna sit there with some other 25 year old dude, we're gonna make it. Someday I'm gonna have all these. Oh God, bro. I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna find some 45 year old who's already established himself and I'm gonna milk that till it's dead and then get the will. It's the plan. Idiots. Love more partners. Love. No, it's not. You hold all the cards. You have all that power as a homosexual or a woman, you know, and you're going out with breath. The hell's wrong with you, Messiah? I don't question s a pretty woman. Yeah, I don't question it. Comes home, looks at you every day. Yeah, she's got a like budget and account and stuff. Dumb. Yeah, it's. You gotta appreciate it. It's a nice thing. But it doesn't make any sense when you boil it down to like, you know, you take the emotion out of it. You're like, what are you thinking? That ass is not going to last forever. Use it wisely. But you know what's funnier about that is, is that the like the dumb girl who does that to like the 80 year old man? Like, he's not gonna care if you let yourself go a little bit. Because he looks around in his age group and he's like, let's go. Like, Jesus Christ. These are just bags of dust. I'm surrounded. Surrounded by. You can be a little bit plump. You can kind of lay off a little bit. You're not gonna get so fat. He's disgusted by you. Before he dies, I'd be all over that. I wish I was attracted to dudes. I wish it was inside because I would have. You guys would be blown away at my bezos life lifestyle. And that dude would be in a wheelchair. His legs would be so useless from all the blowing. He would not. My mouth would barely be hanging on and he couldn't. He couldn't walk. Meanwhile, just loaded, loaded, going anywhere we wanted. That relationship would be the only one in the world where we'd have to sit down and he'd be like, honey, like, yeah, what is it? I need you to stop blowing me so much. That would be the only time that conversation would happen. It's just too much. I appreciate it, but I have to say. Say it's too much. Trip would have to do that. I have to tell you, John, you're blowing me too much. No man's ever said that. But you would if you dated me. If I was interested. Trip's gonna be texting you here in a few minutes. Hey, I'm in town this week. Yeah, if I was interested and I was at work, I'd be flirting with him like crazy. Oh, hey, John. Hey. Hey, nice pants. Those Mack Weldon. Yeah. And the next thing you know, my shirt's off and he's like, I've seen worse. And then I'd be all over him if I were interested in that, you know, hair poop. I'm not. But I can separate myself and fantasize for a little. Brady's disgusted by the whole thing cuz he's into like love and living in shacks and nonsense and paying for other people. No, that's dumb. You should think my way, Brady. Consider being gay for a little. You're not getting any younger, friend. Be gay and live the life for a little while. What do you got to lose? Get on out there. Find yourself a rich homosexual. Start sucking. There was. That's right. That's right. And you say it like a foreman on a construction site. All right, boys, start sucking. Is that how Dan used to walk onto the site every week? All right, you guys thought you sucked last week. They're doubling down now that the heat's here. Everybody gets here and starts sucking at three in the morning. Yeah, I. I don't know what I would. I know I wouldn't be a. I don't know if you. If I were predetermined for that, I would definitely be great at Holmberg's. Morning sickness. I'm not. Yeah. If we wouldn't have any furniture, it would just be a gigantic mansion. Empty, with just mops. Porcelain. Porcelain and mops. Hose everything out. That's it. Yeah. Maybe a drain in the middle of the floor. Like a slaughterhouse. Just got the hose out. Power washer. It's like a giant shower. Just get it out. Power wash the floor. Get right on the hose. Stainless tables. Yep, tables. Who knew you're already to dinner. Kind of that. I'm eating. I'm eating just fine. We don't even have a kitchen. Just a giant. Like a prayer room in the Middle East. Just a giant room. The drain in the middle of it. But that's how I would be gay. I think the gays are doing all right. If you're gay and you're with a poor gay and you're poor, that's just stupid. Two poor gays living together. Is there such thing? It can't be. Would think so. They never see a charity for, like, helping the poor gays. Doesn't happen. All right, here's this email. And this. This was. This had me thinking, and Brett, you're going to love part of this. It says, and it's not because it's racist or anything. It kind of goes after people says, hey, Holberg, I tried to get in with your comedian yesterday. We had Aon Crockett on and he was solving people's relationship issues and whatever he said. And I have a real one, I could get through. Tonight is a big night for my relationship. I think it meant last night. My girl has the worst taste in movies. I'm 37 years old and she's 26. We're going to see Superman. That is a good. It's not bad. It's good age gap. We're going to see Superman. I don't want the whole relationship to hinge on a movie like Superman. But I tell you, if she doesn't quote, get it, I think I'm out. She never understands little stuff. When we watch TV or movies. I'm always trying to have conversations about what we just watched. And she can't. If she draws a blank on something like Superman. I think I have to go. She wanted to watch old movies a couple months ago to try to relate. So we all picked our favorite three movies. My first one was Fargo. Hers was Breaking dawn, that horrible Twilight. Oh, that means she's hot. Yeah, that's what I think it says. About eight minutes into Fargo, she looks at me and she goes, are they going to talk like that the whole time? She meant the accents. She wasn't listening to the words they were saying. She just didn't like their voices. And I said, they're not singing. You don't have to like their voices. It's just part of where they're from. She bitched enough right off the bat and covered her ears several times that we just turned it off. It disappointed me because Fargo's so great. It's one of my favorites. She didn't even give it a chance. Breaking dawn was our next selection. I made one comment, I'm like, jesus, Kristen Stewart can't act. She turns the TV off and says, fine, forget it. And walks away. We tried again a week later with the list of the greatest movies ever we found on the Internet and the ones we'd never seen. We were going to have a weekend starting with Brett's people. We chose the Godfather. Goddamn right. Marlon Brando started talking as the iconic Godfather and she laughed and goes, oh, my God. Seriously, what is he, a cartoon? Dtb. Dump that bitch. This is ridiculous. Ridiculous. And we just turned it off because she wouldn't stop giggling. It's the legend. Her selection of all time on the list was Psycho. Neither of us had seen that. Her reaction to that one. Ready? She said out loud. So did they used to think all trans people were murderers back then? I laughed and I'm like, no. She goes, it's so obviously not the mom. I'm like, all right, we're turning this off. Nice job, Sherlock Holmes. Superman is my last straw. If she says something absolutely stupid about a movie as life, light hearted and shallow as Superman, I'm afraid I have to bail. But she is so sexy and so normal in almost every other way, but when it comes to movies and entertainment, I'm just not sure it's there. Am I being overreactionary or is a movie deal breaker a real thing? Are there better tests, Jeremy? Wow, the big one. There are movie deal breakers, sure. Yours probably would be her thinking, godfather is horrible. Yeah, dump that. Yeah, making fun of Marlon Brando in your house. Goodbye. It is a again. I'll go back to my friend Chuck who was going to marry a woman He. He was. He had purchased a ring he was going to ask this woman to marry. They laid in bed one weekend and had a sex and movie marathon, 48 hours. And the movie that he said they chose because she had never seen it was going to Gone with the Wind. And as they took a break, because it was a two at the time, two CDs, you had to. Or two DVDs. You had to change it out. And he said after the first half ended, he got up, they had sex, and it was amazing. It was the best weekend of his life. They're banging away, watching this great movie. She didn't say anything the first time through. Have sex again during the intermission part before they switch DVDs. It was unbelievable. Put the second half of Gone with the Wind in. And as it was starts, she says, who wins the war? And he realized right then and there he was making a terrible mistake. He goes, I. I can't marry her. He had the ring in the drawer. This was going to be the day. And she said something as simple as who wins the war? Now, if you're in the car right now going, what do you mean? That's a logical qu. It's Gone with the Wind. It's a Civil War movie. If you ask who wins the war, two hours into the four hours, you still haven't grasped that it's the American Civil War and we're fighting in the deep south here. And you still are questioning, like, is it going to be important if who wins this? Yeah, you are no longer part of my life. You're in your car right now going, well, that's a reasonable question. It's. There's a reason you're single. There's a reason there's no tan on your face. Your finger, ma', am, Your finger. If the tan line is gone, there's no ring tan. You are completely orange from fingertip to wrist. In his relationship. And the guy in the letter 3726. Yeah, I put her in the. The moldable. You can manipulate her brain. There are a lot of things that they have, they've never been familiar with. Now you're getting into nature. Nurture. Yeah. And then. Is it an eight? Takes a little. I mean, that's patience. See, I wonder at 26 if her entertainment base has been established and it's going to be nearly impossible to get her out of can be. But even if it was, it doesn't matter. That person. Oh, it sometimes comes around. I mean, I've known people that got married and the Wife wasn't a real big football fan, gets into it. That's indoctrination of a singular event. Yeah. Okay. You're talking about entertainment and movies. There's a shallow factor. I don't know. I've seen people go around, you know, from all sudden, they're. I haven't run into them in a while now. They're huge country fans. Yeah. Those are lost human beings. That. I know that to me, yeah, those people. That's a lost human being. And yeah, your music, musical tastes can change. I think those things can change, but that's actually getting worse. Hanging out with. I think you can be influenced. Yeah. I think Fargo being a fantastic, amazing movie, if you don't give it a chance, you're never going to. Yeah. So that, to me is the big red flag in this one as the deal breaker is that she didn't even sit back and try. But I can see stumbling like he did. Like, you know, it is Breaking Dawn. It's awful, and it's hard. You just, you know, if I go in there, you have to go in there and just remember, you can't make any snipe. Yes, you can. You're a human being. You're an individual. If you wanted to back. There's a. There's the problem. I think he's afraid of her. If he's doing that, I can't talk. I can't talk around her. Then you've got a bigger problem. You should be able to say what she favorite movie. Because you see how it didn't work on that side. Sides like, well, you really like this movie. Great. No, there's a difference. Because if you're trying to manipulate, you're trying to find someone to like everything, nobody's gonna do nobody. That's black and white. That's a dumb argument. Nobody's black. I know, but people have to realize that. I. I don't think. I don't think anybody's trying to say you have to like everything I like or not, but to expand your horizons more than eight minutes of Fargo and get lost in it, I think you're biggest red flag there was when you said, pick your favorite movie and she brought you the third or fourth one from Twilight and didn't ask you, have you seen the first three? It's a little deep. You can't get into Breaking dawn parts one and two if you don't know what the hell's going on in the first one. Your favorite movie can't be Rocky 3. It just can't be Clever was great, but he was awesome. But the reason you liked it is because you'd already established your relationship with Rocky. The third movie in the sequel cannot be your favorite one. You can't bring them Lord of the Rings, the third one, and say, this is great. And they're like, I haven't seen the first two. You're gonna love this. No, you're not. You have no idea what's going on. That's Red flag. Important casino for you. Yeah. If she sat and said, this is stupid. Eight minutes in, like, oh, goodbye. And she won't give it a chance. Like, I understand if she watched the whole thing and she goes, that's just not my thing. Still going to make me go, we're going to have some trouble. I had the little Nikki syndrome. I remember that. And how did that relationship work out? Divorce her. She loved Little Nikki. Yeah, Like, I'm not saying it was her favorite movie, but she loved that movie. And I'm all like, that's a. I should have known right there. Red flag. I mean, I should have. But instead you ran with it for five years. I gave it a shot. He did what you said. Just keep quiet. Right. Try. Maybe she'll come around. You have to watch it every day until that pile of S came on the tv. But it's there. But I'll tell you this. Little, Little Nikki likers. If you have a girl who's got like little Nikki and she gives it two thumbs up, that's like having somebody with genital herpes. It's not there every day, but it's always around. Watch for the flare up. Yeah, you gotta watch for the little Nikki flare ups because when it comes up, it's gonna remind you like, oh, no, this whole thing's a mess. Yeah, you gotta. You got somebody who says Grown Ups 2 is an awesome movie. You're not changing her mind. She brings you Breaking dawn as her favorite movie at age 26. If she was 14. Yeah. Okay. And it was 12 or 15 years ago. Yeah, I got you. Yeah. They're dumb. That's when you met 26. And she's still hanging on to Breaking dawn as number one. There's an exception to every rule, I guess. But this one, this one's tough. The movies are very important. Well. And that only lasts until you realize they're all so dumb. Yeah. If Chuck Powell can't deal with it, who of all people won the war And Gone with the Wind was a. Broke off an engagement that was going to happen in like 10 minutes. He had planned it. This weekend was going to end with a romantic gesture, and he cut it off and broke up with her. Because of who won the war. It's like, I can't. I can't spend my life explaining that kind of stuff. That's. That's not manipulation. That's re education. You got to start over from fourth grade at that point. Go. All right. When there's a Civil war thing going on on tv, she might ask who won. That's too much. That. That's too much to try to deal. All those movies, though, that's a big one. And it's less about what you have in common and more about what she brings to the table. If her favorite movie's Breaking dawn and yours is Fargo, you probably have a pretty decent gauge on movies and entertainment. She doesn't. That's. That's number one. Changed a little bit in this. The younger generations. How so? Movies aren't as dumb. Yeah. All we talk about is how dumb they are. They're hard to entertain. They don't. They've got a low bar. They don't take time for any. Did you do the movie questions with Megan when you. Yeah, she and she. It was a little off putting at first. We said, you know, have that conversation. So what are your favorite movies? And this was 2005 and like two months earlier, Anchorman had come out and her favorite movie of all time was Anchorman. I'm like, no, not your favorite movie this summer. Like, what was your favorite movie ever? Anchorman. Oh, my God. Wow. It's the best movie that's ever been made. I'm gonna give it to you because it's very funny and that, you know, you like a laugh. That's a good thing. You just haven't really thought about this, have you? Anchorman, like, all right, we're good shoes. Wooing you. Yeah, yeah, you got. You got. Great. So Anchorman it is. What's your favorite movie? It's Alfred Hitchcock's 1954 classic Rear Window with Jimmy Stewart, Grace Kelly. Amazing movie. Raymond Burr is the neighbor. The unreal. I don't know what that is. That's right. You don't. What's yours again? Anchorman. Okay. Sean likes his movie Pillow Window. Yeah. Yeah. She's an advertising maven. She just. She just picked up. Yeah. Rear Window's amazing. It's a great movie. Great sales. Is going to start calling them now, probably. I heard that. But yeah. So if. Whoops. If it became a problem where that was never ending. But I did kind of question. I'm like, you know, like, what's your favorite serious movie? I don't remember what she said. Anchorman. I'm like, no, that's not. She had a couple in there that. I'm like, all right, we're okay. We're okay. Anchorman being number one was scary funny. I mean, you. When you're, you know, in this particular case, 37, 26. Yeah, it's kind of funny. Some of the favorite, like the favorite. Say her favorite serious movie. Yeah. Could be something that is just, you know, One Tree Hill or. Yeah. She might have something done that you don't know. That's why that Breaking dawn hit her. Well, because when she saw that you're dating, she's probably 18, right? You're dumb. Well, there had to be some great movies that came out since then. I would. It's not even the best of the Twilight series. Is that the first one? No, it's like three. She's. She's dumb. You're dating. Oh, that's like Rocky iii. Yeah, exactly. That's why I said you can't pick Rocky III as your favorite movie of even the Rocky series. It can't be. You do it on favorite characters from Rocky. Clubber's up there. Oh, yeah, absolutely. But I mean, there is no Clubber Lang. I don't know how we always end up on this. There's no Clubber Lang without Apollo Creed. Yeah. If you didn't. If Apollo wasn't there, you wouldn't understand why Clubber Z even a thing like just some angry black man that hates Rocky. It was built by Rocky, the great white hope, stealing away the title. So now Clubber shows up to avenge what is rightfully his. He's a great character, but you can't have those talks with somebody who asks who won the war. Gone with the win. That's it. You just can't. You can't even have Rocky talks. Notebook. Notebook's a girl movie that no man understands. But I think we. But they understand why the girl. Yeah, I think we give them a. I think we give them a little pass on that because it is thought out. It's like, it's not a dummies movie. It's just way too over romanticized for most male brains to sit back and like, understand. And God forbid you watch Notebook for real and tell the girl what a. You know, like there's a whole thing like she spent her whole life with a guy lying. So that's. That's woman movies, though. That's like Sleepless and Seattle. Like, they leave regular dudes. You allow them that category. That's their deal. But their. Their. Their movies are all like, I was with the wrong guy the whole time. The whole. The whole thing about the Notebook is about a dude. They reunite later like, she was with the wrong guy. Yeah. And then so she goes back right before he dies of Alzheimer's to say, I should have been with you. It's like, that's horrible. There's nothing romantic about like that. Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump? Yeah. Jenny's the worst character in movie history. The meanest bitch along alive. Used a whenever he was convenient and then dumped the AIDS baby on him. Forrest Gump's horrible. That's. There's nothing about that. That's. That's nice to Forrest. It's an anti R word movie. It is. Just abused the R word movie. The luckiest R word in the world, by the way. I mean, he just stumbled into cash like crazy. Then she gets aids, dumps the AIDS baby on him. Now he's got to raise a kid by himself. He takes care of nothing. She's dying of aids. She wouldn't have the time of her life. Comes home, doc. Just don't know what it is I got. I got rammed so often by the Black Panthers and stuff. You were there at that one party I was at. Still take. Just taking it constant. I had a baby. This one's yours. Remember when I let you roll around on me because I was a. And I banged an R? Word. I do. That was fun. Yeah. Anyway, this came out of me afterwards. This little std. He's good. I've got the aids, though. I'm gonna lay in your bed until I die, and you're gonna pay for it. Kid's gonna be a film star. Yeah. Whatever it was. Is he. Yeah. He's total. And she even says it to him. He's smart in the head. And she even says, yeah. No, he's not like you. He's not a retard. Can we go upstairs and do that thing again? Sorry, Forrest. Those days are over. If you want your dick not to fall off, you better start. Stay away from me. I'm Jenny with aids. I wish it was a bird. A bird fly far, far away from here and get the aids. And she did. And we all went, oh, my God, what a beautiful love story. Like, no, it's not. She abused a rich, mentally challenged man at every turn, every turn, whenever her life fell apart. Let me go find that rich retard. He'll Help me out. All I gotta do is occasionally roll over on it. Takes two seconds. Made him sit through everyone forest. There's a roommate in there. They use her towel. Dude. That's the worst part. They do. Yeah, yeah. There's a hundred percent. He hits the 2 meter hole like Luke Skywalker. Puts the biscuit in a basket. She disappears. Comes back with a seven year old. Are you out of your mind? Like shooting womp rats back home. Forrest Gump would have been a good movie if it ended with you need to leave. Totally. I don't want to see you ever again. Jenny, you got aids. And then just credits roll. They're like, what the hell did I just watch? Stupid is gone. Jenny come back with the aids. I kicked her out the house. Mama would have never let aid Jenny in. They never say aids. But you have to be an idiot not to know that she describes AIDS when she comes back. It's an AIDS. She came back with two STDs. Little Faust and AIDS. You need to take your bumpy ass out of my house. I'd rather Bubba's dead bodies than you. Forrest, I thought we were. You used me. Cause I'm special. That movie's awful. Now maybe that's a Good Red Flag 1. Let her show her Forrest Gump and see if she's like, that was romantic. Like get this bitch out of the house. You know what you're in for. Yeah. But if you got. If you got a look. If you've got somebody who's consistently like, find out how deep it goes. But if your favorite movie is one of the Twilights, I don't. I think you're already pre built to. Not really. That's a tough one. Tyler said. Never thought of it that way. I think Jenny just won s heel of the year. Yeah. Yes. Watch that movie again with Jenny as a bad guy, as like a Batman villain and you will see Forrest Gump in a different light. Same way I always say about It's a Wonderful Life. I had to explain that to your mom. That's about a narcissistic who thinks that if he died, the whole place would fall apart without him. He's a delusional lunatic who has suicidal ideations and then starts to hallucinate that an angel says you're so important that my friend had that and they put him in the Looney Ben. He thought he was the catalyst for why the world worked. His brain went nuts and he started to see people and have schizophrenic delusions that were telling giving These. These delusions of grandeur that the earth's on its axis only because of you. It's the same thing. That's what It's a Wonderful Life is all about. A guy who's so delusional and into himself that he thinks if he wasn't there, the world would fall apart. He goes on this drug trip through, you know, Pottersville. Cuz without him, everybody's. His mom was a. That movie is such. It's a Christmas classic. But when Jimmy Stewart leaves and comes back and sees his mom, she's running a whorehouse. Why? Because Jimmy Stewart wasn't born. Do you think, Brady, that if you weren't born, your mother would be a. Of course not. You're not that important. She'd have been just fine. So if you look at it through Forrest Gump's eyes. John. Or if you look at Forrest Gump through Jenny's eyes, he shows three times in her life. Prematurely ejaculates once in the dorm. Check that box. Kicks her boyfriend's ass at the Black Panther party. True. And gets her pregnant. Those are the three times they interact. Pretty effed up. That is true. That is very true. The only time he shows up in a relationship, life bangs her a little quick. She gives him a handy, right? Yeah, it was a handy. And then beats up a Black Panther and then knocks her up and leaves. So I guess there is truth to that. He does chase her around. He's a little stalkerish, I guess if I. I guess there's a lot of time in between there. Wow. You know, I never thought of it that way. You want to change the perspective of it. Through Jenny's eyes, she's got this stalker that every once in a while she's got to beat off to get him away from her. That's interesting take. And it's true. This nut bag's running all over the world. And then every once in a while he shows up over. Romanticizes their childhood relationship. What a fool. Believes she's like, ah, she's doing her own thing. The in my window again. Jerk him off, maybe he'll go away. And she does. Wow. Nobody in forest company any good anyway. Good luck to you, Jeremy. But yeah, if she's. If she likes Superman too much or if she just doesn't get it or complains about it. They saw it last night. Curious to see what. What happened? What you did. No. Didn't they say they were going. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. He said. Yeah, he did say yesterday. Got it yesterday. Afternoon sickness. Holmberg's Morning sickness. Yeah. But do you base it on this new Superman movie? That's part of the issue too. It depends on how she reacts to it. Superman can't have too much of reaction. It should just basically be a movie that's dumb, fun, and everybody leaves and goes, that was all right. Or it's so bad, you can laugh and hate talk about it afterwards. But if somebody is. Then you learn if she's got a decent opinion or if she's got thoughts that work in her head, or if she just goes, that was good. That was bad. Then you got adult on your head. Movies are important. I had a friend, they saw it last night, and he. He's like, it was really good. Okay, well, I'll. I'll judge a whole friendship off of that. If somebody tells me a terrible. Yeah, that's what I always wonder. I even asked Brady when he told me that Billy Sutton was like. Is Billy a good gauge of movies? There are certain people that come out with, like, pretty good for the most part. Like, I agree with what he's. Does he like Fast and Furious seven or eight or something? I mean, I don't know about that. I don't think so. There's a lot of people that come out of the gates talking about how great a movie is, and if they hit me two times with movies that suck that are great, I kind of think less of them. Like, I just. It's just a. It's a connection thing. It might not be. You know, it's not for me. I mean, it's one thing if special effects are amazing. Story kind of sucked, but, you know. Yeah. And the reason we all know that. That may sound crass and rude, but it's true is this. If you met a girl and her favorite movie of all time was Dude, Where's My Car? You'd immediately think less of her. Oh, yeah. So it does matter. And you're not gonna try to nurture out of that. Like, that's one that you're. That's a hidden. She's far gone. I'm pumping this, and I'm getting out of here before she fires up. Easy kill. Because you realize you're not always gonna be having fun with her sexy body. Sometimes you're gonna have to sit on the couch and figure out what there is to watch. Watch. And if she's like, dude, where's my car? And that's part of your future, you're in trouble. This one says, my wife asked during the attack in Pearl harbor if that bad movie we ever Got the Japanese back. Married a smoke show. I love you again. Not forever, though. Always remember that their asses don't stick. They like that. But their movie tastes are always going to be curious about whether or not we got the Japanese back. And that's the scary thing about a hot chick who doesn't develop a personality. She's leaning on how good she looks. Eventually she's going to have to know stuff to be interesting or she's going to be alone. Yeah. And this one brings up thing I always tell you, same as Karate Kid. Daniel's the real bad guy. Yeah, Daniel is a jerk. Tries to steal a guy's girlfriend constantly. Johnny's trying to say, please, I don't want to fight, I want to do this. I'm not. I'm trying to get on the straight and narrow. Daniel keeps egging him on. Goes into that thing at Castles Coasters as the shower and. And he just. He antagonizes Johnny until it's just all he can take. And instead of fighting him, he says, let's go, we'll do it. We'll do it in a, you know, controlled setting instead of just fighting on the beach. Johnny loses it once on the beach when he goes over and starts messing with his ex girl. Breaks the boom box. Yeah. But he was told, hey, that's my girl. And the girl's like, no, we're going through a thing. And the dude should have been a decent human being and not rubbed it in his face that he was trying to be the next dude in At Elizabeth Shoot. Yeah. Daniel is the bad guy in the Karate Kid when you watch it again. And Miyagi's a pedophile, he's a groomer. Would never happen. Got away with it multiple times. Every time he moved, he found some new kid in the apartment complex he started to take to the beach and dance with. Well, there are those movies that have the, you know, the other. The alternate meaning, I guess, kind of like that, you know, it's not supposed to be, but that's the way it turns out. They say the Top Gun is the gay thing. Yeah, I mean, homosexuals movie. Tom Cruise is actually gay in the movie. You can ride my tail anytime. Yeah, that's how it ends. He chooses gay. And he made the right choice. He did. Look at killing McGillis. Now look what happened to. Look what happened. Had he stuck in Val Kilmet too, at that point, I'd take the late Valley Kilmer. Had he stuck with Kelly McGillis or Val Kilmer. If I'd have told you I'd give you a time machine and show you a picture of both of those two people two years ago. And then we go back in time and then say, which one would you choose? Kelly McGillis or that knowing what you know now, it's like, oh, I'd be gay with Val Kilmer all day. I'd nurse him through his cancer all the way through. Not gonna. Kelly McGillis ballooned. I saw Kelly McGillis last October. I couldn't believe what I'd seen. I'm like, that's not her. Well, no, I. I did and I did realize it. I was a little tough because it was at the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta. So she was one of them. And I'm like, which one is she? I can't quite. She's blending in. Even when she glowed, she didn't look. No, it wasn't the night go. I didn't watch the night go. Just they're trying to get her off the ground. But it was over 80, so she couldn't. She wasn't going up. Even Bridget Fonda. Have you seen her? Unbelievable. Compared from Jackie Brown to that. Unbelievable. Yeah, it's crazy. It's nuts. Yeah. Somebody just emailed in and goes, oh my God. Jenny was the victim in Forest Gump. I've never seen. Seen it. The first interaction as adults. They were both in college. She was on a date with another guy and while they were making out in the car, Forest ran to the car and yanked open the door and started to assault the man. Yeah, I've never looked at it from Jenny's perspective, cuz I've always hated Jenny so much. Maybe I'll go back and watch Forest Gump this weekend as a Jenny fan and see how creepy and gross Forest is. That's right. She's in the car. But wasn't he being. Being aggressive or. No, I can't. Well, that from what Forest was. Or was she all about it. They're role playing and it's the 60s. She had no rights. Maybe he was being aggressive. She was asking for it. It was the Johnson administration. Lady gets in the back seat. Lady gets what she gets. It's the 60s, baby. The girl said she her favorite movie was dude, where's my Car? I would propose to her I the spot. Fifteen years from now you're going to regret that when you're giving half to a girl who love dude wears my car and her fat ass and her sweats in the courtroom is just going to make you mad. Yeah, girl. The girl in the 60s gets in the back seat you can do whatever you want. In the 60s, that's where the love making happen, where babies were made. That's where it used to be, man. Jenny was begging for it. Force goes in there. Captain save a ho. He's a sea blocker. You find out later on the movie she spent more time in the back. Of course she got the AIDS. All the girl did was party through the 70s. That's it. She was a hippie and then she was a drug. She was a drug addict. I'm gonna have a hard time watching in Jenny's favor because I've got such a pretty predetermined belief that Jenny was the worst movie character in the history of movies. Worse than Darth Vader even. At least Darth Vader had a turn in the middle. He's like, I know what I'm doing is wrong. I get the end. When they peeled his mask, he found love and I was wrong. Well, he went off for a pack of smokes years ago and then showed up at TR of the Jones. Weird about him. He left and then turned into a black guy. Yeah, I'll be right back. He came back and I got. I really fully embraced this whole look, I am your father. And then they peeled the mask off and he's like, ah. Everything I did, I'm so sorry. Terrible. Travis just wrote him, man. My wife of 10 years favorite movie is Dudes my. Where's my car? F. Is it true that's what he said? Yeah. That's his wife's favorite movie. And they've been married 10 years. He's kept it together for 10 years. Enjoy the next five live because you don't watch it all the time. You're gonna want to sell her to Doug Hopkins as is pretty soon. Dude, where's my car? Girl doesn't age well. Boy, she looked good when she told you. Dude, where's my Car? Is my favorite movie, I'll tell you that. 7:26. What do you got on the big board of musical treats? Good luck. Jeremy and his girlfriend of dumb Wake up song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Getting those bikes ready for the bike parks this season. Want to head up to Angel Fire or whatever, but you got to get the gear too. And Action Ride shop has it all in stock. Full face helmets, all the pads you're going to need. Get the bike tuned up before you go. At two locations right there on Power Road and McDowell. The brand new location or the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern Best wrenches in town. It's Action Ride Shop actionrideshop.com Michael has an interesting take on Forest Gun. Cuz I always thought Forest loved Jenny because she did anal scene with. Was that. I mean it's. I miss someone. It's assumed 70s AIDS and all that stuff. That couldn't have been. She was a drug addict too. But I would assume with Jenny's lifestyle she dabbled in the back. Well, I mean she's probably in some black2.com videos. Oh sure, you know, some old Beta tapes. Yeah, I mean she was hanging out with the Panthers and everything. Nothing but dudes in that room. I mean the Panthers let her in. Yeah, they're not gonna let some white lady in there just to make. Make cookies. And she was in the normal shape that they like too. So, you know. Well, I think back in the 70s that was different. Oh really? I think they're like those skinny whites back then. Somewhere around 2006 that changed. Look at the Mod Squad, man. Some good stuff there. But that. That lady was narrow. Yeah, I don't know. We're gonna need a black guy when he wakes up to email us and tell us. Well email Sean Knight cuz he'll be on time. Listen to the. When you're listening to the podcast, don't be afraid to emus. We'll get to it. But tell us, tell us when that changed. When did the. Maybe it's always been but I don't think so that the thick white woman was the prize. I think that was right after Paris Hilton kind of bored us to tears for that video. And they changed up everything had to be. Anyway, sorry. I digress. All right, on the list, Lamb of God, Bullet for my Valentine filter and crystal meth for our conversation earlier trip like I do the who the DG's tragedy for the Russian diplomat you left in the middle of the road yesterday. Metallica, gnr, Rammstein, Tool, Velvet Revolver, Soil, the Doobie Brothers, what a fool believes for forest gum. And in this moment, horror for Jenny. Let's go within this moment's horror. Jenny. Anytime I can change people's minds about It's a Wonderful Life and forest Gump, I will do it. I'll have that conversation with you all day. You all watched the Shiny Easy movie and you didn't use your brains. You got lost in the funny wacky ping pong side of the story. Not realizing that Jenny was out there while that was going. I want to see the Jenny movie. Like while Force is off in China winning ping pong tournaments. It's spin Off. Let's go find out what Jenny was up to. And it'll just be her. Just dive into that life under Black Panthers and Studio 54. And yeah, she was a war gets the AIDS comes back. That is true, though, from Jenny's perspective. But he kept coming back, so it wasn't like he. He was. He's a bit of a stalker, but he was also an R word, so got to give him a little bit of a gap, get a little something great, you know, just walking back to his house and where was his mother? And all this taking him back to Sally Field and said, hey, this one got loose again. Put him back in his cage or whatever. You kept. That worked? Yeah. Horror by Endless moment I haven't heard this for a while. This is a good one. This is one of those solid ones. You're pretty happy with it. You got it ready? Yeah. All right, Here we go. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership feed. I have heard enough of this. You P.D. kornberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 movie thing hits a nerve. I dated a girl whose favorite movie was Donnie Darko, and she said, seriously, if you don't get this or like it, we can't date. I watched it. I didn't get it or liked it, and I was fine with never seeing her again. Yeah. You realize right then and there, there's something on it. As Matthias has the same taste, so to speak, in movies as Brett, but to her, they all taste like blood and sound like ringing ears. You don't like it? All these movies. My movie taste always has blood in my mouth. And Thunder Horse, our black listener, has. He's up. He's up. What? And he's settled. The. When did black guys really start liking fatter white women? Okay, he has it like, down to a big booty. White girl loving black here. I believe it was between 2002 and 2005 when we blacks took notice to white girls. Big asses. Because of college volleyball. That took off around 2007. I would have never. I'd have never gotten that Jeopardy. Question right. College volleyball. Yeah, but the ones we've watched weren't. College volleyball might be different. I don't know where I looked. That's his answer. No. Is that a special on bet? I never. When do you even see college football? Volleyball huh. Anyway, have to go back to the videos from some of these teams. Notice the audience. Oh my gosh. God. It's. It's all African Americans. Oregon taking on Fresno State. And they've. They've sold out all of the arenas. I have no idea. Well, thank you, Thunder Horse. That's. That's not my opinion. That's from the community itself. If you guys disagree and you're of that persuasion, well, then you need to hash it out amongst each other. Don't blame me. Anyway, it's time for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at All Pro shade concepts, all pro shade. 20 years of throwing shade, two decades of quality custom installed patio shades, awning, sunscreens, all. All that stuff right there for you, putting shade on your patio is a great idea right now. And if you're thinking about it and you got a spot, all you need to do is go to their website, allprochade.com and get that done. Allproche.com Brady Report Good Friday morning to Phoenix. Hello world. We've made it. Yes, Friday, big day. It's the national 711 day. Yeah. And National French Fry day. Why is that? Is it best French fries? When's best deal day? That's got to be coming up, man. Excellent answer. That was an excellent answer. Thank you, Senator. You've won the debate. Yeah. I thought you said why. I did say wise that. And you answered it like you were four. I'm going to take a lap. Yeah. Not cuz we love French fries or every day would be French fries day. Brady. Why would they specifically have 711 BE. It's pretty close to every day because just say, I don't know, £6 billion of fries. But it's why 711 is national French Friday was the simple question. It's not because we love French fries. Guess what tomorrow is. I like turtles. Yeah, we're gonna still have French fries on the 12th. Why not the 12th? Don't ask questions. I'm just asking. Like it doesn't say on there. It's like this is the reason why. That's why I said. Oh, the reason why it's celebrated on the 12th. On the 11th. What did you think I was asking? I don't know why SE White National Fred Friday is also celebrated on the 11th. Yeah, I said why is today National French Friday? It doesn't say. Oh, that's all I needed to hear. Because people love them. Yeah, because everybody loves fries. Well, duh. Yeah. But why today? Oh, you want to know why? What do you mean oh, don't go changing? No, no, never. Well, and he thinks he can manipulate someone at 26 you. This is. You've been this way the whole time I've known you. Somebody's got to know. Toledo. Look it up. Okay. Why is today the day they chose? And that's why I asked what I thought was a fairly clever question. Is it best deal day? Is there some sort of French holiday involved in French Fry day? I don't know. You and your trickery. This year's Slurpee day marks the 90th 90th anniversary of 711 98. Yep, we're getting close. They were convenience stores opened in 1927. It was called the Southland Ice Company. The name then was changed to Totem Stores. UMS you totems were all over. I don't know if that's the same place, but ums were everywhere. This just says totem. Utotem was racist. 7 11s so that even out. Remember the signs? So it was just a totem pole with a big U and in like Indian wood letters. T O T M. You totem. Cuz you'd go in and grab it and leave with it. Nobody's going to help you. Basically the sign says you're on your own. You do. It was the name of the store, but it was written in Indian language. You totem. The reason why you know 711 because their original hours were 7am till 11pm the slurpee was invented by an accident. 1958. A soda fountain, Dairy Queen store. There's the old utotem and had a totem next to it. They even put an apostrophe over the M. You totem. You totem. And that was essentially do it yourself, asshole. They got one guy behind the counter and he's not boxing up a thing. You do it. There was a Pac man in the U totem in Poway, California when I lived there. We used to run to that U totem and it was loaded. And I don't mean to sound racist, but the store was racist. So you'd go in there and. And you would hear immediately the dinging of the ding, ding, ding when the door would open. And then out of any corner of that you totem. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Everybody out. We are not here all day for video games. And my one friend Tony's like, we've got tons of quarters. No, no, no, no, no. Get out. Why do you have the game? Get out. And we'd have to stand outside while One guy played Pac man or whatever game he had and he had a couple of brand. And keep in mind this like 1982, it's a big deal like in and out, stand inside. And if his game was over and he's out of quarters, then you'd go next. Wow. And that was the only way this dude would do it. I swear he could be home and you'd go down there and swing that door, ding, ding, ding. And you hear car door would shut. No, no, no, no, no. He knew when we went in that store to play only video games, he hated us. But he put a video game thing in there. He was going to make a still making money. He hated us in there. We'd ride our stupid bikes just across the street, right across the road. Poway road boom. Apparently he didn't get a cut of the Pac man proceeds. Evidently it was somebody else's deal and he was t. All it's done is bring in a bunch of teen kids. And I don't like any of them. They are eight years old. They never buy anything. No, no, no. That's probably where I get that. Oh no it isn't. All Indians do that. Come on. You ready for an answer to your French fry question? Yes, please. In 2022, checkers and rallies, fast food restaurants went on a mission and petitioned the national day calendar people to change the date of the national French Friday which was celebrated every year on July 13th. 13th. They, they changed it to the second Friday in July. Oh, so it's not the 11th, not the 11th. It's always the second Friday in July. Because my only other answer would have been the 11s. Looks like two fries does. Yeah, but why seven? It's a question. It's a reasonable question. So it's the second Friday in July. No other special meaning. Here's a good story. Guy in France, finally he's in the news after he went on a road trip with his wife and and daughter and he forgot her at a gas station. Did he? Oops. His name. 62 years old and his wife was 60. Their 22 year old daughter was also with them but fell asleep in the back seat. They left Paris from Morocco last Friday, which is a 27 hour drive. Oh, they made it. Made several stops during the first leg. Pulled into a gas station around 4:30 in the morning, apparently fueled up and he left without her. Didn't realize it until 186 miles later. No, he realized every second of it. Someone else realized it when she started calling the authorities and then they found him, by the way. Better than what happened to Gabby Petito. What? I always say, a road trip that lasts longer than 13 hours, you're risking murder. So he did the right thing by saying, I'm at my wit's end. I'm going to leave you here, the utotum, and I'm just going to drive on to Morocco. You figured up. No, no, no, no. Do not leave your fat old wife here. My friend. He called bonjour. But no, no, no. Bon. George, mon frere. No, no, no, no. Take the fat woman away from here. Monfre. He speaks a little French. Of course he does. He assimilates. Yeah, he's in there. He's got. Hey, look, he's businessman. It's not clear if she had been sleeping in the back or what. Or maybe she got out. He didn't realize it, but he called the cops at 8:30am to report it. To turn himself in. He couldn't remember which gas station he stopped at? Of course not. Or even the city it was in. Very vague details. His daughter was sleeping during this whole episode. So cops eventually tracked her cell phone. Cops thought there was a chance that she left her. He left her there on purpose, but decided it was an honest mistake. So he's not in any legal trouble, just trouble with his wife. 180 miles and it's a mistake. It's on both. The wife can't be pissed, right? Exactly. 180 miles. Isn't that like Flagstaff? Wouldn't she call it further than that? It's almost Gallup, isn't it? Well, I don't know where you're going now. You're heading east, but like you go past Flagstaff, about 40. You got something on your lip. It's driving me nuts. What is that? Food. Yuck. It was water fight. And it was globbily. It was. It was the Ted Cruz. I think he did it to himself. Yeah. Wasn't a booger, but it was something. So 189 miles of not noticing, you're the only other person in the car awake with you. Yeah. And then to give vague details, somewhere along the line, I left her. Can't really pinpoint where I last saw her. You're turning yourself in. You're trying to get away with one. And I give you. I give you a for effort. No, no, no, no, no. Got a coup. Virginia. They're behind bars after they got DUIs while driving a stolen RV and having sex behind the wheel. All right, it happened last Wednesday in Bluefield, West Virginia. This Is the better story, Brett. Yeah, that's a good one. Cops saw this 48 year old dude, Matthew McDonald behind the wheel. 35 year old Shannon Bryant straddling him. Both were not naked. He pulled them over about a half mile down the road. Shannon was behind the wheel, huh? Somehow he basically was sitting on the seat and she was straddling him. But she was the one driving. Oh, she was reverse cowgirl. Yeah. Yeah. Like what? Well, I don't want to say it this way, but like what your dad used to do. Put you on your knee. But yeah, different in its own way. They admitted they were getting it on. He also admitted he was the original. Original driver. But then she took over. Well, she took over the wheel paraphernalia. A bag filled with white powdery substance. Then they ran the plates and saw the RV was stolen. They both got busted for drugs in the RV and indecent exposure. She also failed a sobriety test. No, he also had several warrants out for his arrest. Did you say this couple? Yeah, West Virginia. I'm surprised, dude. Oh, yeah, he's pure west. He looks like. There's his lady. Oh, she's 90, but she's not a. He looks like Billy Bob Thorton's brother. And so does she. Holmberg's morning sickness. Why don't you take off all your clothes there and climb on top of me while we drive around this RV for a little while? I have to try and make myself have some sort of orgasm to your disgusting face, head and body. But I need you to face the other way because I can't look right at you because you look like this. Oh, Christ. We should do it this way. I prefer doing it where you're facing the way away from me. Oh, don't take your shirt off. You're just like Billy Bob Thornton. Well, so are you. And that's why I need you to face that way. You know, why don't you steer the car, make yourself useful while I try to anally penetrate you, slam on the brakes and throw her through the windshield, for Christ's sake. I'll work the pedals, don't worry. Yeah, take your seat belt off. He's trying to kill her. You trying to seduce me? Yeah, exactly. Don't worry about it. Just hop on here and ride me. Seems so dangerous. You haven't seen anything yet. And now it's time for some science news. Come on, get excited by the good stuff. Yeah, sorry. He was enamored by the idea. Hillbillies banging away on each other. West Virginia Road. And by the way, if you're going to have behind the wheel sex, it's not a full nudity thing. It's a lift the skirt, move the underwear to the side deal. It's not a. You don't take off all your clothes. What are you crazy? I remember years ago, maybe they just woke up in the RV and decided to drive. I don't even know how this happened. Out from the. From the bedroom back there. And then. Remember Brian Hansen's wedding where you made me accidentally fake blow you? One of the greatest stories in my life that I was. I swear to God, Stephen Hawking was stronger than me for 18 seconds while that happened, I weakened so badly. We were at a wedding. An old dying man was giving a speech to his granddaughter. It was his last week on the planet, by the way. And I dropped my fork at the table. It's all on video, too. Oh, my God, it was too. He died like. Like a week later. It was the last days. He's emphysema. He's in a wheelchair. He's got the oxygen. You barely hear I love my girl so much. And I dropped my fork, and as I bent down to pick it up, Bray smacked my bald head and pushed it into his genitals and started. I mean violently smashing my face into his. His balls. And it was so goddamn funny that my body shut down. And we were. We were right there. Oh, you were. You were with us. Yeah, no, I know, but we were right. The table was near. Oh. Oh. We were in the heart of the machine. Yeah. This was like the wedding. We were prominent. And I hit. The sound has to be on the video. It was. So that was the thing. We didn't know. And I. We. And we. I was laughing so hard and I couldn't release from his grip of death. And my head is bam, bam, bam. Into his balls. Over. And I felt 120, 130 times. It felt like I never thought I'd ever. I finished. I thought I was in the gravitational. Yeah, a couple of times. I look like Toledo's lip a minute ago. I was like in the gravitational pull of Brady's balls forever. And I couldn't move. So then later. Yeah, the smack in the back of the head. So the guy who's wedding. It was brings the video to work and says, I gotta play something for you guys. And you hear the smack and the thing and then the laughing. I don't know why I was telling that story. What was I telling that story? What were you talking about before that Now I just distracted. What was the story we just told that brought that on? You just. It's in your hands, Brady. Look down. You're talking about the West Virginia story. He just. No, Toledo said, I love the good stories. And then I can't remember why I was going with that. Anyway, that reminded me of that. Damn it. I had another place I was going with that. See, again, this is the. That was the. How powerful that story is. It weakens me to this day. Never lived a worst 18 seconds of my life. I know what it's like to be paralyzed is because once his chubby little hand hit the back of my head and made that noise and pushed the first bounce into his balls, I was in his hysterics. I'm like, oh. But I couldn't laugh. So my whole body's like, just close it up. Close it up. One of those. All right, that's perfect. Shut her down. Shut her down. And bam, bam, bam. Right into the. Oh, it was awful. Now it's time for some science news. I have no idea why I was telling that story. It had something else. Hello, my friends. Science news. We'll get there. Well, I'll figure it out. In monkey news. A study found monkeys prefer watching videos of their friends over. Over other videos of strangers. I watched a special on this the other day where they were shown. This was crazy. Chimpanzees were in a room with a TV strangers were on. Didn't care. Yep. Filmed. Another group that they hang out with lock in. Wow. They. And the thing that the scientist was trying to figure out is can they recognize themselves? Are they self aware? Yeah, well, they are self aware to a certain degree. Not like we are like where we understand life and death. Although they think maybe, maybe they might. They might understand that it's not forever, but they're not sure. But they. They don't know. Like they know when. When a primate looks in a mirror, it's pretty sure it knows that it's them. They're pretty sure because at first they'll look and then they realize it pretty quickly. On tv, they didn't even know for sure if they would recognize the surroundings. But all of them, they were like five. They filmed them all day long, hanging around. And they showed him like movies of other, like gorillas. They didn't care at all. And then when it was them on tv, all five heads were on the tv. Like, hey, that's us. Didn't pay attention to hellcats. It was weird. It was crazy. It was insane. Researchers in Zambia found Chimps might be using blades of grass as fashion accessories. They like to shove the long blades of grass in their ears and. And butts. Okay. In Zambia, for no apparent reason, they say they. They dangle them out of there. Experts say it's like humans and other animals, but they copy the behaviors, and they try to display plugs with feathers, accessories. Yeah. All right. Everybody likes a little ass play. Not tons, but, you know, space moves. Tease it. You put a blade of grass in my ass, I might like that. I look good. Yeah. Well, I don't know if it looks good, but it's. I mean, I'm certainly not. What? I'm certainly not visually appealing, but it's doesn't look good. That looks good to me. No, it doesn't. I mean, the idea of it me like, oh, that tickled my. I'm not saying that I want to watch. I'm not that. You've got the best responses. Yeah. Something wrong with them. In space news, an object from the outside. Our solar system will zip bias 135 mile. 135,000 miles an hour this fall. Is that right, John? Is that how fast we're going? I can't get into that again. It's probably a comet, but some say aliens. It's just. It's just the third interstellar object we've seen. We've ever seen. The first time we saw One pass was 2017. Yeah, I don't know what. I don't know what we do with those things anymore. I just. We watch them go by. It seems like that's all we do. It's like star traffic. Like we're sitting there with a radar gun. Oh, this one's going 40,000 miles. There's a couple hillbillies having sex in the front. And pet news, most cats prefer sleeping on their left side. Okay. We've never known why, but a new study analyzed 408 YouTube videos and. And found it might be a survival thing. It lets them see better out their left eye because their body doesn't block their field of vision as much. It's important because their left eye is controlled by the right hemisphere of their brain. There you go. The right hemisphere does the heavy lifting, like things sizing threats, sizing them up. So seeing something out of the way. Left eye causes a better response, a quick reaction. Brady, that might be the most interesting story you've ever done. That's your science, dude. Get out of here. Run before it gets bad again. Pittsburgh's Naturalists are celebrating their big bowling outing. I mean, Nudists. Yeah. Balls out. Bowling event will take place on. On Saturday at the Craft in Ingram Lanes. I get a hand at the Phoenix. We don't really have a naturalist society that pops up, do we? Like, it's too hot. 30 bucks a person. Arkasanti. You think a city this size, we'd know where the nudes are? Oh, yeah. I've lived here for 40 years. I have no idea where the nudes are. Only got, like three good months out of the year to do. Oh, there's good. There's good. Nudity time. Nighttime. Oh, look, I'm on this night schedule now. You'd think the nudes would be nocturnal. Only clothing allowed for attendees are shoes, which are required and optional bottoms for the women. But they said, please bring a towel and a bag for your belongings. You don't have any? Evidently. Evidently. When you leave, you gotta. You gotta dress before Au natural. Everyone has to be over 18 years old. Yeah, yeah, that's a good rule for nudity. Sexual activity is not permitted. Oh, I'm out. Violators will be asked to leave. Ooh. I dare you to try to get me out of here. Brie's gonna grease himself up. Go ahead, try and throw me out. He'll slide right off. Now there's a nudist colony in new restaurants, river and Tucson. Yeah, I know they're far, but Phoenix doesn't have one. We're a big city. You'd think we'd have some sort of nudie bar, like, like swimming thing. We got so many pools, you'd think we'd have, like, a skinny dipper. Okay. Cave Creek's weird, though. That's like, not even part of us. It's just close because here's the nudist directory. Nudist directory. As far as the city goes, Cave Creek's sort of a dingle bear. It's hanging on, but it's not really part of us. It's a clothing optional bed and breakfast. Where's that? Casa Jardin? I have no idea where any of this stuff is. That's what I'm talking about. It's in the 85004 area. 8504. That's right down the street. Yeah. Oh, we're 85008, right? Yeah. That's close. Just got a text from Hanson. Burst in. Yeah. Love you guys. Great hearing the story again. Hilarious. You can hear it on the video. Yeah, we know, we know, we know. You still have it. You got to send it to us just off. No, I never want to see It. I want it to live in my mind. No, my visual of this is perfect. If I don't want to watch the video, I can't hear it. I know what happened. Oh, I lived it. Oh, there's. That's what you see in fat slobs at the Shangri La. They got their pants on at least. But he don't. I don't think. Is that a woman? Yeah, this one is. Jesus Christ. If I have to ask, you shouldn't be naked. If you're naked and I'm like, is that a woman? That wasn't a woman. Yeah, there's no good ones. And you'd think Phoenix, we should start that. It would be the Skinny Dipper Society of Phoenix, where we just have naked pools. I think that would. That's kind of got some legs. Because we don't have any nudity places. We're the fifth largest city in the. Not that I want to see them break free because they're never what you think. You turn into a Lululemon place now. You're. Put your clothes back on, everybody. You don't. You don't belong. You're too fat. John, just so you're aware, naked swimming is allowed in Sun City. Is it allowed or are they just tired of trying to get these people. Oh, look, he's wandered off again. Hold up, Holmberg. Let's not encourage more. More nudity communities with the decent amount of hot people here. There's more. There's more tanks and tortas that don't need their clothes. I agree. There's too many Tortugas out there. Is that what tortas are? I thought that was a food. Tortoise is a sandwich. Like, oh, Mexican sandwich. I see. Yuck. But, like, if you put one in Scottsdale over by, like, you know, the Caesar Republic, and you just had a nudity pool Maricopa resident here. There's a nudist colony down here. Nobody wants. Wants to see you people naked. That's why we put you in Maricopa in the first place. We didn't want to see you with clothes. We built Maricopa for people that we didn't even want to see it. Like in T shirts and jeans. I've seen Shang. New River. You don't want. No. No one wants to go. But in New river. Put it in a cool place. There's one in Tonopa, too. There's a hot spring there. Who's going to that? 100% don't recommend all the hot natives that live hundreds of miles from us in Tonopah are getting. We don't want to see that. And all of our texters know about Shangri La. Scottsdale. I know, but, like, in the city, there's a market here. It's an untapped market. I don't want to see it. Gotta be a struggling resort. We could go in and refurbish. No, no, you take a regular one and you make a naked pool. But you have stipulations on that. Oh, yeah. There's a scale at the door, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no men are allowed in. I want it to be like Caligula. Just a bunch of hot girls with huge cans wandering around. There you go. And me. All right, ladies. I'm the lifeguard. Got a couple of pretty videos. First one's Australian rules football. Play by play on a fight that happens on the field. Whoops. Aussie rules is the balance. That's your sack still going. All right, here you go. No, hang on. That's not Aussie rules. That's something else. Throwing up. I didn't see that right off the bat. That was a screw up. All right, here we go. Oh, look at this. They're going in hard now. This is ridiculous. Avery with a backhanded punch. He's on again. Oh, punch is being thrown. Oh, look out. She's on here. Good. And look at this. We'll stick with play. They're shaping up to each other. Punches being thrown left, right and center. She is on out here. He's out for the count. Look at this. This is ridiculous. There's a man. He hasn't moved. The number 11 there. For Linda's fun. It was Turner knocking him out. Gone to the ground. Cheap shot, though. Wasn't looking. Yeah, he hits it. I've never seen a guy get clotheslined from behind before. But it closed. He went out like a light. The punters on Almanac, man, when I was in Australia, they love that footy. Getting to the footie match. I like. What? You like footy. What are you talking about? So it's rugby with kicking. It's Australian rules football. Footy. It's. It's. Yeah, there's like a field goal. It's awesome when you watch it. And then the top three shows in the. In the nation were the footy hour. Let's talk footy. And it's footy time. I'm not kidding. Like, it was all swimming events. I looked in the newspaper when I was there. Top three shows. It's about football. Footie time. It's all about footy. Let's talk footy. And it's like all different people just talking about footy and everything's cute. They can't call it football, footie, brickies. It was great. But then I started to get into it because they were in their playoffs when I was there. Oh, yeah, that place was going bananas. Next one's a hot girl. Traffic trying to stunt standing on the back of one car, being followed by another. Oh, she's trying to do a backflip onto another car that's moving. Oh, these girls are sexy. Oh, she misses the car and then gets run over a little by another hot girl. And did not execute like it did in the planning. I think the blonde girl driving the back, the second car slows down. Play that again. I think she tries to kill the brunette. The brunette's doing the backflip off car one. They're bumper to bumper. But when she does the backflip, the blonde slows down. She backed off. So the brunette was gonna die. That's a competition between women. You can't even get them to cooperate in life and death matters. What you get for having two women drivers, I don't know about that. I mean, if you. Probably not wrong, but this is a guy at a soccer match trying to hype the crowd up, but got a bullhorn, and he's just puking all. Oh, it looks like Wilford Brimley puking all over. That's you. I just saw his face. This is Drew. Hey. Better. You'd still be doing it if you pull this off. What's up, fans? Look at how wet. Where's it going? I don't know. It's going down below. Those are wood. Oh, my God. Those are wood planks. He's throwing up. Look, there's people moving in there. You're right. He's throwing up on a wood plank, second story. And it's leaking through the wood planks down to. They're recycling. They're just somebody's ass, too. Is this an old 1800s playhouse? Yeah, it does look. It's one of the older arenas. Look at. It's old wooden. It would be like if they built the Coliseum on the 16th hole for the Phoenix Open on a wood. The commenter agrees with you. I puke, therefore I am. It looks like an old. It looks like stuff you'd see at the Renaissance Festival, except for Brady's there barfing on everybody. I hate limey theater. Oh, man. Yikes. All right, it's Friday with Brett. Here we go. All right, sit back. We'll start off easy. All right, number one is a girl in a kitchen. Oh, not a kitchen. And some sort of a. There's a guy with his domination. Oh, she's whipping his. His penis is tied up with a bunch of straps and a rubber band around the ball. Arms on her, though, too. And she works out. She's got strong Lou Valentino. It is her former weekender, Lou Valentino. And she has a. Or is that a dude? That's a fellow. Right. A fellow with hands. A fellow with an augmented set of breasts whipping a man's erect penis that's been strapped down. Oh, Brett. All right, this is a lady with her vagina has been. Wow. Violated by a bunch of toys. There's a speculum. There's a sort of strange meat thermometer. She's strapped up in a vibrator. Nipple clamps on. She's in a. Oh, and it's working because she just. It worked. See? She peed all over the place. Oh, look at that. She's got a mask on. Oh, my God. She's got her nipple rings. Honestly, if that what I'm looking at right now, the close up of her genitals was in my fridge, I'd throw it out. Oh, yeah, that's no good anymore. Something happened to that. I'm calling Kansas City Meats and I'm gonna say, hey, guys, I got a bad order. Are you. You're gonna have to. Have to smell it. You gotta smell it. That's a key. All right, here's another one with the guys. But he's dig dugging his own testicles. He's got an air pump. He's got an air pump in his. In his scrotum. And it's. It's. It's dig dug size. It's humongous. He's. Oh, it stops right on time. Okay, he's inflating his scrotum. Oh, it is so close to blowing up. Honestly, John, at this age, how big would yours get? Oh, I could float away. That. I am kind of curious as to. My scrotum is way too big. There we go, gentlemen. Somebody's butthole. Oh, God. It just. It just burst. An alien. Oh, that's the biggest one. Yeah, that's. That's not a rosebud. That's the pageant of Roses parade. I'm waiting for an alien to come. My God. Small intestine. It's. It's an elephant's brain Right back in. Brings it back home. Oh. Oh, look at the size of his anus. He's gonna. He's gonna blow another bubble. I always wondered what happened to the Hubba Bubba, man. Unbelievable. That is ridiculous amount of exposure. What mess are you looking at? What did I miss? You know, we're gonna have to watch again. Second expansion. He can inhale and exhale his opponent. Wow. Oh, is he done? Up top. Yes. There you go. More, more, more, more. Concentrating on the road. I couldn't. Well, Brady, you realize that the guy's not just beating off, right? There's a thing going on underneath it is a humongous amount of information intestine that comes out of his bottom and then he sucks it back in. We didn't have the sound the first time. Oh, my God. I'm never going to not want to watch this. I want this on a loop in the lobby. Oh, my God. Okay, enough. One more time. Oh, man. Wait. We got to hear the big. That can't be. I mean, sh. Here we go. Here we go. Brace ourselves. He's sucking it back in. It's going back in and he's going to blow it back out at us. You know what's really sad? Yeah. Oh, we lost Brad. You know who's having nightmares right now? Caitlyn. That's all she heard in the hotel room with Brady this weekend. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, my God. What in the. That's a top tenner. Yeah. Do it again. I'm not. I'm the whole show from. We've got what? We got an hour and 37 minutes left. Guess what's going to. All of it. Is this all of it? I'm not turning this off. Does that have a loop button? Brett, let's go get some breakfast. Oh, my God. Oh, it goes back in and then it's just anticip. Ok. See, don't say farts are fun. It's not a fart. That's when a fart is funny. No, if all your insides come out, you're right. It is fun. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my Lord. Holy cow. Yeah. Do it again. You know, Lisa usually asks me how work is when I get home in the afternoon every day. Show her. Show her. Let me give you a little taste of what I did at work today. Look at the size of what comes out of his bottom. And then when it goes back in, he's got like, oh, yeah. No, that's never gonna get. That's never gonna get old. That's never, ever gonna get old. Oh, Lord. How come we didn't have sound the first time? Oh, that's not for nothing, but it sounds like. Did you know the sound before? I didn't either. Oh, yeah. It sounded like a bowl of spaghetti. Jesus. Is that his lung? It's. It could be huge. Your lungs aren't that big. I mean, when he bursts that. It's like that when they used to have that, the plastic filled with that slime and you stick your hand or pull it out, makes that same sound. Did your neighbor make you do that? What are you admitting to? Right? It is. Here it is. Oh, I know, I know. I know when to turn it here. Don't worry about it. I got my eyes on. Oh, my God, the aftershocks. Well, I'm just blown away at this. The thing that's coming out of his butt is the Elephant Man's head. Yeah, it looks. You know what it looks like? It looks like those new safety helmets in football. The Guard. The Guardian Cat. Guardian. It's the Guardian. Oh, Lord. Oh, Brett. We may need to shut this segment down. There's no possible way anything gets better. And the fact that Brady noticed the dude finished. Of all people, to know that this was pleasurable to that guy. I was just waiting for the rest of them to fall. When does your body know that's enough? Because I don't have that. That's so funny. Like his doctor. This is. This is what, you know, like, if you were a veteran in the NFL. This is year six, seven of the Guardian. When he. When he first did the Guardian helmet, it wasn't going like, no, no. And is he done yet? And when he goes to the doctors, there's a guy like, all right. Hey, what's been going on back here? Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Christ. Just put my head in there and see what's going around. Anyway, that is a classic. We're finishing. There's no way. I can't. You got nothing else? I don't. I can't top that one. Well, okay, I got one more, but I got a top. Let's have a little cracker after. Oh, God. Jesus. It's a dude. I'll just wait. It's a dude going to town. Going to town on what is the thickest penis I've ever seen in my life? What in the. Kind of cut in half. And now he's kind of working the scrotum and then back up to that giant thing. Now he's taking his regular size wiener. Oh, and he's in reverse sounding. They. They have opened up the bigger penis's urethra with surgery, and he is yeah, he's docking with him by putting his regular man sized penis into the urethra of the other guy. And they are enjoying it a lot. I didn't know. Again, that's going on right now. City five million, Brady. We got at least one or two guys trying that. No way. Have you been down on Melrose? You know where that is? Melrose area has this happening regular? Yes, it is. Yep, it's happening, my friend. Holy smokes. So, John, disturbingly. What? That noise sounded a lot like your impression of the golden bachelor making out with his suitor. That's true, it does. It's that noise you heard coming out of that dude's butt is strikingly similar to when old people make out. Oh, all right, send it to us one more time. Brett. Let's hit the road with that one. Okay, hang on. Oh, God. Man, oh man, oh man. I mean, it's. It's literally indescribable at a certain point. Remember when we were just amazed at the first few beehives, the first few rose buds? Like, oh, that happens. We're numb to that now. And now you can literally birth a full infant size butthole. Like, that's a six pounder at least, wouldn't you say? Like, that's a full baby. Infants aren't that big. So, ladies, one thing I know now is childbirth isn't that hard because these guys are loving it. They're actually having orgasms while this happens. But I mean, this is. That isn't a reason. That might be more than that. Might be bigger than an average human birth. Look at that 12 pound box. Yeah. If you put three holes in it, that's an 11 pounds bowling ball. Oh, it's going back in now. And here we go. I'm sorry, that's my favorite one. I threw up watching an Asian lady eat flies. That doesn't bother me at all, man. Which always goes back to my theory on this. I just hate watching watching Asians eat. It's 8:28. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report. It's 98 Holmberg's Morning Sickness. It is Friday, quarter to nine already. No matter what kind of fun we have on the show, there's always somebody that wants to make it. Fox. MSNBC related. We listened to that gargantuan beehive butthole pop in and out of there. My stomach stomped me, laughing so hard. That fart noise was hilarious and we all enjoyed it. And I thought, you know what? This is what the world should be about. This is fu. Bible Love brings us all together hilarious butthole videos that make us all laugh and not think of our problems. But no, I was wrong. Brady email comes in, says, imagine that. That's the sound AOC's vagina makes when she drops her panties. Like, if you made that political, how. How in the world did you make that a political thing? Come on, that's not politics. It's just math. I thought it would make us all join hands and unite going, you know what, liberal cuck? You know what, nutbag conservative? You can be friends again. I also had Toledo create this, and I think this is a pretty great. I haven't heard it yet, but let's just listen, shall we? 93. 3 all day. Dz. Oh, he's getting. Add the poop sound in. Oh, 33. I got you. I got 93. 3. We're winning. Can we replace their sweepers over there with that? Oh, that's ultimate. Radio pranks. Remember when radio pranks used to be fun? You were allowed to do them. 93. 3. Cause we know it's still fun all day. Z 93. 3. Sorry. Ah, don't worry about it, Brady. I'll take all the beating for this. Get your checkbook out, be fine. Head on home. Brady. I'll take the beating for this. Thanks, Kurt. I would tune in over there if those sweepers. Oh, my God. Literally. People say it all the time. It's the laughing out loud of radio emails. I drove off the road. I think I might if I was listening to that. It's like there's another 21 pilots coming up. More 21 pilots. We'll be back in just a couple seconds right here on your alternative all day Z933. Ah, I mean, they already hate us. I don't care. Trips is going to come in with a board with nails on it and just take it in the back of the head. You Jack. Yeah, there's Cho's. I'm going to need that. Coming up some more St. Vincent, then we're gonna go flashback to the chili pepper. 93. 3. You enjoy it too much. You're a bad influence. You're a bad influence. This is in the show now. Oh, you're a bad influence on me. This is your fault to a certain degree. Oh, man. You know, it's fun when a whole radio station hates you and you stop caring. There's something freeing about when everybody in a building just can't stand you and you're like, you know what? Watch this effort. Yeah. Oh, that's great stuff. Thank you very much. See? And how did somebody make that political. Can't we all just have some fun with a guy's butthole falling out? And the noises that makes without thinking about Trump or comma or aoc. Come on. Oh, and that's not a fart sound, people. Are you guys left in a fart sound? No. Well, pretty close. It's a funny sound. You know what it is? It's just quality radio. And. And they would understand that if they knew what that is. 93. 3 multi zone. Anyway, sorry about that, everybody. It's too funny not to do. Cody agrees. This dude. That is absolute gold. That s is great. Eh, I'd reword that. Yeah, radio pranks used to be a great thing. I gotta hand it to old KU when they used to prank KDKB all the time when they were competing rock stations. Yeah, one of my favorite. I don't know if it was Pratt or not. I'll give credit even to a douchebag when it's good. But when he. When they rented that fire truck and KDKB tried to do an entire broadcast from Tower Records and somehow or another KDKB pissed KPD off and got Aerosmith. Like a couple members of Aerosmith were going to show up and they parked the fire truck in the. The parking lot. Nobody was any the wiser. And every time they were listening to the station, they kind of got an idea of what, you know, like dream on would be ending. And you know, when you're in the world of radio and music, after a while you got like 14 seconds left in this song. Fire up. And so they'd be like, just. Just be ready. Like, you know, I don't know, Dennis McBroom or somebody was about to just. And you see the mics go on. He tells everybody to be quiet for a second. And they would just. I mean, the second you'd be like 93.3. KDKB put the sirens on and you could not hear them the whole time. Hilarious. Anyway, great job, Brett. Thanks for this. As I'm crying, I can't breathe, I'm gasping. That is so goddamn funny. Yeah, it's fine. Anyway, and when I say it's fine, I don't mean, like by the traditional way. This is going to be money exchange. It's horrible. Sorry about that. So, you know, it'd be great if. If Caitlyn still had the recordings of Brady in the bathroom in the hotel. I bet you it would trump that. I'm gonna get mine. Actually. That might be actually a Pretty good thought. We've got those Volvo things to give away. Oh, yeah. Stick around all day. Z 933. Why? We're children, Brett. We're children. It's your fault we got those Vol Beat things to give away. The goat Package for volbeat coming up until after you. You are the worst friend I have. That's the best. Because I am a child and I like this. Watching you lose it is making me want to do it more. And it's. It makes me the idiot. You're like a Tickle Me Elmo right now. I can't stop. I want to do it over and over and over. And look at him. He's gone. And that just encourages a guy like me to keep making the thing happen. And it's not fair to you guys listening. It does just sound like a fart. But if you could see what we saw. Totally. I think we explained it. It'll probably be in the top 10 for this year, if not number one. We're still doing that show for sure. It's. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise it's just gonna happen. Once this becomes its own podcast. We'll send these out to you. We don't have the HR to worry about. Anyway. Anyway, the Volbeat stuff. July 26th, my birthday. And we're celebrating with Volbeat. They're coming to town. Gonna be a talk to. See. We're gonna get you backstage and we're gonna pick a winner later today. So we got two to give away. Yeah. This morning we're going to do that periodically. So in the 9 o' clock hour we're going to have a chance for somebody just when we'll just announce it at certain point because we. We've run out of time because of 53 years old in two weeks. And I've spent an hour making this guy laugh with. With prolapsing butthole. Oh my God. Brady's reassessing his entire existence. He was laughing. I mean, it's just. He's blown away the. That how much you like. And he's also thinking we're gonna get in trouble for that. Nobody over there is gonna be happy about this. 1893. 3. That's fine by me. I mean, they can't stand me out loud. Nobody here can anymore anyway. No one's got my back. I'm gonna go ahead and fight back. It's. They're gonna do the volbeat thing a little bit. And then we're gonna do the entertainment drill. If Brady's still here. It's 98k hey, it's not weird. It pretty cool actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. We've had enough silly fun today with dumb stuff. It's time now that we can't do this. No other. No other show will take you out on the ride like this before with a mic that DJ can control. Oh no. First and foremost, let me say. But before we get to that, let me. Before I get to the sets. Cuz we've. We've given you the laughs and now it's time to kind of get a spotlight. The show's about to end and normally this is when the self righteous comedian sits at the end of the stage and tells you down on the steps. Yeah. Tells you about his battle with obesity or drugs or alcohol. Like the end of Springer when he does. It's my final thought. But then we get to the square. Thank you to Antonio yesterday for being another person. Gave us a thousand bucks for the operation Hydration, which yesterday, I do believe was the biggest single surprise donation day. Now we've had days before where I remember last year when the guys over at Hensley dropped off that semi truck of water and we knew they were coming. Like we knew about the. Yesterday was a whole bunch of. We didn't know. Tons of them. Tons. And this whole week has been Arizona mailbox Service. I mentioned Antonio yesterday and I didn't call his name as company. The right name. Right? So. And again, I remind you of what I said earlier this morning. I give your company name out as a thank you for your donation to our charity. If our sales staff calls you ignore them. This isn't about making money right now. And I know our sales staff hates when I say that, but let's not ruin a good thing by making this a timeshare for the decent people who are doing this. And I'm telling. I'm talking to our sales staff. Leave them alone. You'll get your crystal award some other time. Stop it. This is not a way to have a group of people say, hey, we'd like to be part of your charity and then get hounded by a sale. Heather, she's texting. I'm teasing. I'm teasing him like crazy about this. And thank you though. Antonio. Correct. Yes. Arizona mailbox service. They. They dropped off a thousand bucks yesterday, which is a ton of water. More and more and more. So all the people that did that yesterday, we thank you, thank you, thank you. On our quest for a million bottles of water for the Phoenix Commission. Also, our friends at Jay Schwartz up there at Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Dr. J and his crew, you can drop off there if you'd like. Also, Matthias Bar, too. And Matthias Bar. That's right. Legends out there in. I always say, Chandler. It's in Mesa. Yeah, East Mesa. So you get out there, local legends you can drop off there. Brett picks that up. You bring that in yourself. And she's doing a thing. So if you bring in, like, five, 24 packs of water, she'll give you a 10 gift card. So just. She's paying back. There you go. Yeah. Another great thing. So thank you to everybody, and thank you, Antonio. Sorry I got your company name wrong yesterday. I didn't mean to. I'm kind of an idiot. Now, where was I? You gonna drag me down? I was just. I took you. I took you on a ride today, Brett. Hey, did. And I enjoyed it. I enjoyed riding with you. Brady did, too. I actually, as much as I like listening to you laugh hysterically, that's a. It's fuel for me. Seeing Brady kind of being sad about it is also, like, because Brady goes through the ramifications of watching you're laughing. And I think when Brady sees Brett laughing, he thinks, this can't be good. Like, I think he fears for his future and you don't care. And I am, somehow or another, the Circle K gas pump in the middle of all that, and I gain power from it, sort of, in a weird way, it's so. It's like, you know, whatever you give Superman, other than kryptonite, that strengthens him, your disdain and your absolute uncontrollable ass. But it's been fun. I know Brett was to going to the bathroom, and he was in the hallway. You could hear him laughing. He's a child. And it was fun. And I'm glad you enjoyed today. Now ready? Show takes you for a ride. Oh, man. This show takes you for a ride. I mean, a big ride. It's gonna be tough. Are we ready? God, I hope. I hope you guys can handle what I'm about to do. So you remember. Well, you know what I do with Lost, our home, pet rescue. I'm there a lot. I do the pick of the litter every week. Every week. Got another one this week, Spaghetti. And we were doing spaghetti, and we're gonna have the video and stuff, and spaghetti's bouncing around and Brandon down there at Lost, her home goes, you know, Spaghetti is. He's just fun. Let's just get him on the treadmill. And Spaghetti gets on the treadmill and runs the videos at 98kupd.com spaghetti forgetting, needs a home. It's been there for a little while, too long. Year and a half old, sort of Aussie mix with something, something, something. He's cool as hell. Fun dog, awesome on the treadmill. We had a great time. And it just reminded me yesterday of why we do this, how much fun it is that we do this and that we get to do this and. And it's a way to give back. Four or five weeks ago, Alyssa was the dog that we did, Older dog, dog, whose owner died. And I included that in my commercials with Trajan about making sure in your will that you have a place for your pets. It's. It's very specific. And you may think that your family's just going to take your pets. Sometimes they can't, and then they're at the mercy of whatever. And that was what happened with Alyssa. Luckily, Alyssa landed at lost, our home pet rescue. I think she was eight or nine. Older, big dog had some health issues. She had some valley fever. And so it was going to be a tough one. It was going to be a very special person out there that picked up Alyssa. A week after we did it, one of the glorious anonymous KUPD listeners adopted Alyssa. Alyssa got a home and her owner passed away. She was very sad. But when she. She saw you, she made the room better. She calmed the room. I remember being in the room with her the first time thinking to myself, this dog makes the world better. You know how we always say chevelle makes the radio better? Alison Chains makes her speaker better. Certain animals, certain people, certain just living beings make a room better. And Alyssa was one of those. When I went in and I'm like, we gotta do something. This is why we do this. She got a home. She got adopted and passed away last Tuesday. Oh, and it busted me yesterday. We went in there yesterday and. And she said, Alyssa got to her house and two weeks after she was there, laid down and just went away. But found peace to that person that did that and gave that gift. I can't say thank you enough. This gets me. Yeah, this gets me. I can't say thank you enough for doing that, because that's what I would love to do with my whole life, is to take dogs that are at their end and give them a chance. I feel like I should play the fart sound just because get a little heavy, but yeah. So thank you to whoever you are. Don't know. Didn't leave a name, didn't say go to from kupd. Went in there with a heart the size of this building and said, it's not going to last long, but it can't die in a shelter. Took her home. She got comfortable and went away. So that's why we do what we do there. I know that sounds really rough to only have had a dog for two weeks, three weeks a year, 10 years. They find a home. So thank you. I don't know who you are, and I hope you hear this, but thank you because that is exactly why the people at the shelter do their job. Exactly why. I go there every Thursday with Amy, and we do this every Thursday because we want to. Amy and I were doing this for the week longest time. Kind of behind the station's back in a way because there was no commercial. I'd add a commercial where there wasn't one. Like, it wasn't this big paid thing. We weren't making any money. Nobody's doing anything like that. Doing it because we wanted to, because we knew people out there like that existed. And there's plenty of, like, dogs there that you don't have to worry about. They're going to drop dead in a week or something. But that was a. That's a beautiful story. So thank you to whomever you are. I don't know you, but this is the only way I can get it out there. So thank you. And that's it. Now back to the farts. I'm so sorry for making everybody have to sit through that. We'll be right back. 933. Had to do it. I had to do that. I couldn't. I couldn't let that go. I couldn't let it. I'm sorry. You know, Melissa found love and laughter and happiness, and so did Brett. Stop the roller coaster. Everyone's happy. So there you go. We'll have the entertainment drill coming up next. And thank you for indulging me on that. That meant a lot. It's 98. Hey. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. UPD Hornberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by any agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Nirvana for you. Drain you. Ew. Not today. Not today. Not today. Yeah. The roller coaster continues. I'm happy to have done that to you guys today. That's the gift we have as quality professional broadcasters. We can prove to you we're all things to all people. Prolapsing butts, tears in your eyes. That's the show in a nutshell and you're welcome for it. That's all I gotta say. It's time now for Brady to entertain all of us. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com the Home Tactical Black Self Defense. If you want to get in on this thing, now's the time. You got kids going to college, which is a wild deal. I never understand sending your daughter or son off to some place and go, he'll be fine in a strange new place, especially a girl. And then they sit back in the newspaper constantly says stuff like, you know the number one place girls between 18 and 25 are attacked on college campuses. Well, send her off. Bye. Enjoy Baylor. Have fun at Michigan State. God forbid, enjoy Ohio State. But you might as well have them have some preparation at least peace of mind in their minds that they're like, you know what if the worst case scenario does happen, I've got something in my back pocket I can train with. Get them in there. Even going to asu, I mean, having them off on their own like that, it's crazy. And that that time is coming here for a lot of parents. So if you're thinking about that, do that. If you're just somebody who's thinking to yourself, you know what? I wouldn't know what to do if the world went sideways on me. Get it together. Become more confident. Confidence is something you earn. It isn't something you just have and you have to go out and get it and you can grab some of it real easy. Reactdefense.com they provide it. Check it out. Two months, 199 bucks for everything they've got to offer. You can see everything they've got to offer right there on their website, reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment. Here's a list of some celebrities that played background characters before becoming famous. Well, the most famous one is Kevin Costner as the the corpse on the slab and the Big Easy, or not the Big Easy. What was that called? Big Chill. He played a frat boy in Night Shift. Oh, that's right, a night shift. 1982. Another one in the morgue. Weird Lady Gaga. She played a high schooler in an episode of Sopranos 2001. Did you know that? I did not know that. Wow. Something you just learned about the Sopranos. Is that real, Brett? I don't know. I'm gonna Google it. Sean Penn. He had an uncredited role on Little House on the Prairie, 1974. Really? Benicio del Toro sits on the hood of a car in Madonna's 1987 video La Isla Bonita. Yeah, here's Brett finding out. Oh, you just found it, Brett. There's a Lady Gaga right there on the Sopranos. The Out. That's her man. Look at her face. Oh, the man's trying to eat at&t. Girl, Lily. She's like a comedian now and just sexualizes her and she's selling her boobs. I just. Well, where. Where Only philanthropy. Screw her. What's her name? Mariana. Oh, yeah, I saw her on that. The AT Midnight show. She does that every once in a while. It's off the air now, but they were. And she was. Started doing that is. It's only. Only philanthropy, oddly enough. And it raises money to charity. She sends you some racy photos. Yeah. You pay for it. And she's helped this mom out. Now she's doing it to raise money for the Los Angeles fires. Remember when she was mad at all of us? Yes. Talking about her boobs when she was the at&t girl, oddly enough. And I don't know how this happened, the episode I saw of her on At Midnight was the same one with Apeon Crockett. So full circle, I guess. But then Lily's all about her boobs now. Like, don't look at my boobs. Don't look at my boobs. Oh, wait a minute. I can't get a job. Are you on them? Get them up on the screen. God damn right I am. Oh, you can't hold the one she sent to guys. No, this is just like her Instagram. Look at this. Oh, she loves her boobs. But we were. We were. She was mad at us. And remember she did that big Instagram post about how we're not supposed to look at her that way? And what a bunch of jerks. We were. Jack Rectified. Yeah. Now she's on this dirty, sexy, only philanthropy thing. She looks great. I don't know why she was mad. We were calling her pretty all the time. Now don't talk. Oh, you're gonna ruin it. Like, she's. Wait there. She's on At Midnight. She's way too active about, like, things. But, you know, and I admire that she's going back to her basics, because that's where Bread's Larry David will star in a new HBO sketch comedy series about American history. It's being produced by Barack and Big Mike Obama. Is that right? Yes. Pretty. Pretty good. Pretty good. Larry, we need you to be a little less acerbic in this one. You're playing Thomas Jefferson and. But Big Mike is my slave. We're not going to down that road. Larry. One of the writers says the characters Larry is playing didn't change history. In fact, they were largely ignored by history. That's a good thing. Like most people who exist, Justin Bieber released a surprise album today. Oh. So all this brooding and he'd been working on it I guess for a while. It's called Swag. But everything he's been doing lately like making people question whether or not he's physically and emotionally and mentally there has all been promotion and he wrote a check to what's a Scooter Braun to get out of his. Finally release him from his record deal. I understand that. So this album, they're saying it's more vulnerable and less polished. That's what I've been looking for. That's gonna suck. So's that show doing with Barack. Yeah, it's not bad. Pretty vulnerable. That's why I'd describe my performance. He's very vulnerable. We're all vulnerable when Big Mike's in the room. Cuz you never know when he's going to smash your face into a pillow and go to work. Pipe down, Barry. Roll him. Drop trout, David. I had to take my pants off though. Mrs. Obama's fairly upset. I want to watch that. I don't know what the Obamas Larry David would produce together, but I'm curious. Yeah, it. It has me very curious. Well, I get over here. Thriller. You're alive. Other than that. Oh well. I mean by producing two. It's that in that basically throwing in money. You throw in the money and then you have final say on stuff. So like you're. You're behind the project. You know you're Rock's touring all over right now. Million dollar So's Big Mike's. Big Mike's got the podcast and telling everybody men stink. Going against it. A little feedback from the Black Sabbath show that happened last weekend. Tony Iommi made a comment. Bill Ward evidently got up on the drums. I forget if it was Iron man or whatever, but he takes his shirt off. Ew. And Tony says he loves. Looks like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings. Yeah. You don't want to see dudes in their 80s with their shirts off. And he goes, the best thing is he. It's. It's what he's all about, Bill. He doesn't care. Yeah. But unless it's a skin cancer screening, let's just keep our shirts on after we're 75. What do you say? And Ozzy teamed up with the chimpanzees to create five paintings. They're sell. They're going to sell them at an auction to raise money to save the chimps. And I saw them. And Aussies is the sixth best one. Yes. I was trying to paint these. These chimpanzees, but they're unbelievable. They're all little Picassos. Little furry. I thought it was just a bunch of Italian women, to be honest. Just a little short, hairy people with paintbrushes. Turns out they were. They were chimpanzees, Brady. And they paint incredibly well. I tried, but I couldn't keep up. They were amazing. Right now they're at 1,300 bucks. One of the chimpanzees looked at me and actually said so much like us. It was amazing. It was an unbelievable thing. I had a chimpanzee in my backyard looking at me. It was the Jane Goodall of chimpanzees. He was watching my family. Aussie in the Mist. I would watch that for months. And just silverback gorillas just monitoring every move he makes. That would be great. All right, that's it. Thriller. What were you going to say about that? I was going to say for them making a show I thought you're going to do because of the size difference between Big Mike and Obama. Yeah. They're different, apparently. Sorry. Barack and Big Mike. Yeah. Be a revamp of Webster, what with Larry David. Yeah. They adopt and Barack plays as Webster. Wait. Oh, I see. Yes. Okay. So Big Mike. Yes. Is the former offensive lineman for the Lions. Married to Susan Karas Papadopoulos. Met the Papadopoulos family. Yes. And they adopt Barack because the size difference you say is the same as Larry David's gonna be. Ma'. Am. Yeah. Who's the mom? Well, I have it as writer. It's an maybe. Yeah. Well, definitely between Big Mike. Well, yeah. Larry David is Ma'. Am. All right. Well, that's an interesting concept. Need to adjust your meds there. It's 9:35. We've got the Guadalupe squares coming up. We're going to give away the Volbeat to a goat to one of the winners of the squares today. And then end we're going to do another one because we've lost track of time. So the winner will get this. Maybe both of them. I don't know. Depends if they're good contestants. I'll leave that up to Brett. All right. One right? At least one, right? Yeah. If it's a good game, then everybody's going to win something. We'll let Brett decide. And otherwise at the end, we'll just have people call in during Sean Knight's show. Sean, you may have some responsibilities you don't know about. Today. You want to play the squares 585-9800. That's what you do. We'll get a girl, we'll get a guy, and we'll play those squares next. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. You P.D. holmberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. The Evil P.T. really? You look beat up today. What's going on? Just been iffy on the sleep this week. Iffy? Yeah. Bills? No. What's got you straight? I'll just. You lay down. You try to sleep. It doesn't happen. You start thinking afterwards. What are you thinking about? I don't know anything. Why I'm not sleeping. You think about how you don't know anything? Pretty much. Well, I'm worried about it. Well, it's similar to like your whole Neil degrasse Tyson. Oh, you're. You're in your own head. Your brain is just falling into itself. But it kept you from combing your beautiful hair today and you just showed up. I swear I did. And it just. It picks right back up on its own. It's crazy. It's just doing what it wants. Yes. And you look like it's. You look a little. Little crazy. That's the Lee Harvey thing. Yeah, you got. You got that Lee Harvey. It's just. It's lack of sleep, all right? If I ever kill anybody, I'd tell you. Okay? Don't say that. Jesus. If I ever kill anybody. I don't want to know any of that stuff, all right? You're gonna know. You'll be the first to know because, you know, he's like spry and bright eyed. A lot of the times you're like, ah, thrillers here. He walked in today like he's. You got a lot on your mind. We don't Know what's going on. You can tell us. It's a safe place. Nobody's listening. It's while it's recording. You know what you should do is turn the mics on over at the sports station. Just vent. No one will hear it. You'll get it off your chest. I think some folks on that national end of that. Do you think that's what's going on over there? Yeah, Thriller also does some shifts at the alternative station. Oh, you want one of our bumpers? The new sweep. I heard you were working on something. You've heard it? Yes. Yeah, I think it would fit right in. I think it's a good idea. Have that right. 93. 3. You can run that during your shift. Yeah. See how that goes over. That's one of the older ones. They don't use those exact ones anymore. Oh, we'll get us some new ones. We got to do some work. All right, it's time now for Thriller to get us through this deal and get us out of here. On a Friday, it's your Guadalupe Squares, hosted by Corey Thriller. Walt. Corey. Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin the Top Letter square with Jimmy Fallon. Oh, my God, it's so good to be here right now. I'm so happy to see you. Hey, Bry, what's going on? My man Breeze here. Fr's here. Sunrise, Toledo. I don't really care about that. Sean Knight's over on the couch and what he's doing is like Ed McMahon, only skinny. Like, he's lost a bunch of weight. I don't know why he just announced that he's lost. Turn away. Where's my music? Didn't realize it. Hang on. Might get a commercial here. Hang on. Okay, I've got a little bit of. I got a little bit of a temper that this week I had a fight with Sophie Cunningham. I don't know if you guys saw that. It was that. Nobody can put it on the air. Yeah, she came on the show, she started getting really mouthy. I had to kick her ass. No, she doesn't know karate at all. I tell her crap. She can only fight other WNBA girls, so I took her down. You gonna have her back on? Never. That's so funny. What were you three hours dry? What happened? Yeah, When Silver Flew away. Yes, she knocked my. Drew. Shots fired. Where? I'll take them. Cheers. Cheers. Brad, how it's good to tell Matthia I'm coming in at three. Local legends. I'm there all the time. Screech tonight on the Tonight Show. Okay. All the other girls from the wnba, except Sophie Cunningham, we have that awesome angel, Reese. She's gonna probably miss the chair by a foot and a half to the left. But that's okay. She's gonna play one on one with Blake Shelton. She went on with like, Celtics. We're gonna get her out there and then have some me bound tips. We're not gonna have Sophie Cunningham anymore. She came out and she started yelling at me. I don't like that br. I like a. Like a submissive. Everybody knows Fallon likes a submissive. You don't know my dark side and you don't want to know it. Okay. It's good to see you, Thriller. Yeah, yeah. Good to have you out here also. That's the way you treat me, right, Jimmy? You, Jimmy Bell. All right, now to the top middle Square, we have SpongeBob joining us. Hello, Thriller. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's good to see you. Yeah, good to see you. You look sad. Well, you know. Has someone in your life hurt you? No, it's self inflicted. Don't worry. Oh, no, he's suicidal. Patrick. See, things can't be all bad. Okay, well, tell me what hurts? What if I was your thing? Therapist. Thriller. What's the thing that hurts you most? Self judgment. What's the most wrong with you? You got time? No. Cherry pick. Okay, well, I can't reach cherry. Oh, it's your leg. Bang. Well, my advice to you is get used to it. There's no cure. Back to which Thriller? All right. The 93. It just sounds wetter each time. Well, I'm in the sea. That is true. Over. Now on to the top, right square. President Trump, how you doing? I'm not great. What's going on? I'm not great. I looked at the Epstein list and had to determine that there was no list. But there's a lot of guys on that list. Security threat. Right. There's a big security threat. The list doesn't exist earlier, but if it did, it would be a security threat. Trust. Trust me, I've seen it. And I don't want to lie about the list, but my God, is that list dangerous? The one that doesn't exist? That's what I'll tell you right away. I'm not real happy with Fem Bundy. Oh, yeah. She said there was. She said there wasn't. That's it. Toledo. I'm just gonna tariff you for 55% because I think you're a piece of. That's. I'm in a mood. I'm kind of like I'm kind of like Thriller right now. You don't know why. You don't know why. But I'm not real happy. I'm not happy. It's French fry day. I should be happier, but I'm not happy. 7:11 Slurpee and French fries. There's not a lot better than that. It's good combo. Great combo. I don't know why you're hanging your head so low. Thriller and get some slushy. Go get a Thriller. Could you. Could you shoplift? And I bet you could. And no one would say a thing. As long as it doesn't fall out. Yes. Yeah, I think you can. I think you'd walk out with it in your hands. Every. Be like, you know what? Let him. Let him have it. Been through enough. Let's try that today. Let's shoplift with a handicap guy and see if anyone stops it. Hide it in a wheelchair. Who knows? You don't need a wheelchair. It's better. It's better the way you. The way you move. The way you move. I love the way you move. I like to watch you walk away. What? I think you heard me. Anyway, go ahead. I'm sorry for what ailed you. No, it's all right. You're busy enough. On now to the middle of square morgue for Freeman joining us. That's you. What are you playing? And once again, Toledo's porn drowned out my music. Morgan got Toledoed. I've been Toledo by Toledo before. I just wanted to come on here and express myself about the quality of this program. This morning we listen. I'm playing it Toledo. It's up to you now. There you go. Turning on Katie kb. This is ridiculous. This weekend on kdkb. We're going to the zoo. We're not the normal zoo. Are those slugs? That's a slug in its own way, Brady. Same texture. If it hits the ground, it leaves a. A gooey patch. The show started off strong this morning with Brady telling us why it was french fry day. Simply because we left them. Then it moved on to 45 minutes of a fart sound that would not go away. That's not a fart. It wasn't a fart. Indeed. And no man likes to say that. Was that a fart sound? That was no fart. I have to go change my pants. And it moved right on after way too long on the fart noise into the saddest story I've ever heard in my life on the radio about a dog who passed away after finding a Home just two weeks earlier. The fart sound. The dog, Brady. Sometimes I look at Brady and hear that fart sound and I'm reminded of the sisters. Three burly, short gentlemen that used to handle their business in the washroom at Shawshank. And boy, did they handle that. They got it done. Sometimes Andy Dufresne would come back with a beehive. A good foot and a half hanging out of his ass. So you have seen the beehive? I've seen the beehive. I was in prison for over four to five years. Oh my God. Red was here. Oh, I carved it right into the side of one of those beehives. So thank you, morning sickness and all its participants for the most cockeyed but well rounded show I've ever heard in my life. And always remember, apartmenthomes.com is the best. The apartment Internet. What? No, that's different. That's. That's gold. Bloom. You should not be confusing us at all. Completely different. That's a long time. Let's close it up. Everybody wins. All right now, honor to these center square. We have hotel host Brady. How you doing? Hey, you want to go on a trip with me? I won't get your room. You got to sleep next to my farts. I would really rather not. You're gonna be wishing you had that other guy in the room from the video today. Hey, Caitlin. Remember me? I'm Brady. Does this ring a bell? Two in the morning. Brady also sleeps naked. Hey, if you got a 16 year old girl, you want me to drive her across this and sleep in the same room with her? There's nothing unusual about that at all. No, you're keeping her safe. That's what it is. Exactly. Thriller gets it. I keep all the teens safe. You chain them to the radiator. You take away all the stuff that they can hurt themselves with, like necklaces and jewelry and clothing and you leave them in the room for your own uses. And then later you fart all night while they're in there. While you suck it in through a cpap. That's right. You've got a similar life A little bit. Sometimes. Come with me. I'll take you around the world. On now to be a middle right square. Billy Bob Thornton joining us. That's right. That's the wrong guy. Hold on. How did I get over here? How in the world did that just happen? There was a little Morgan residue left in me. Oh, no. Oh my God. I realized what I just said. Yeah. Don't. Don't search that online. You wouldn't say that to Tom Petty. Which. These are too hard to separate. Yeah, they are. Music. No, it's not that so much. Brock. Now I'm just. Now. Now it's Brock. Now I'm just gonna leave them all in. They're all just morphing like some sort of acid trick. That's your fault. You did this. This is all because of you. All right, fair enough. Your downtrodden attitude has created some sort of nightmare where we don't even know what squares we're in. Well, let me do a favor. Are you effing with me right now? I'm literally not. All right, cheer up, son. Things can't be all bad. You got one good one. That's right. 50% is still enough. But it's better than 40. Good point on. Now to the bottom left, where our secret square. Give us a hint. By the way, that might be the saddest thing I've ever heard a cripple guy ever say. That's. That's the sunny side of life for him. 50% is better than 40. What a high bar you've set for yourself. Good morning, gentlemen. Hello there. I'm 83 years old. I'm the actor. Laugh it up, fuzzball. Look away, Marion. Oh, he's doing his clothes. Jeez. Yeah, he was giving us. He's older, so he's flashing back to his movie scenes. Okay, classic lines from the Secret square. I see what you did there. Nice. Okay, now to the bottom of the square, we have Ozzy joining us. Come on. It was just my last dives. And Brett, I thought it was. Were retired, what happened here. Yeah, I thought so, too. I wouldn't have to come out and do this stuff anymore. How are you doing? Hey, Thriller. You want to be in a foot race? I think I can still beat you. It'd be close. That would be very close. People could watch us. You see my artwork with those chimpanzees? Did they beat you up beforehand? Yes, I was mauled by them. It was insane. It was the most incredible thing I've ever been a part of. And I said, I was in there. I recognize one of those chimpanzees. And I said, hey, your bubbles used to be Bubbles. Bubbles are still around. Bubbles? Yeah. Isn't there with those other chimpanzees? No, he's an artist. He's a lesbian. They all turned into artists eventually. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing there. Just look around like, I know you. You're Bubbles. Look at me. And go. Shh. He didn't want anyone to know he's a famous chimpanzee. He'll rip your face off. When a chimpanzee gives you the shushies, do it. They are very strong. They're incredibly strong. You're gonna find out. You know, that's like a retarded person. Don't pick. You'll find out the hard way. You prod one of those and the next thing you know, it's like. That's like the difference between a chimpanzee and a human man. The thing in between. So they're fundamentally. It's like a missing link. Ozzy, why'd you put the grass in your butt? Because the chimpanzees had shown me that it feels very good. Enough me tell you this. They're right. Get that grass from your ass, Aussie. Oh, God. Serenity again. She always dry fingers. It keeps me around like a puppet. Pull it out. Yeah, not too much now. Go ahead. Thriller. All right. All right. He's off today. Bottom right square. Our Lord and Savior. It's Ripley. I'm offering Little Tube. Why is that? Morgan Freeman forgot the part of the show where John and I were gay together. Oh, yeah? What did it sound like? I'm on fire. Fireball. Turn around. Ouch. I assume you're on top, sir. I'm not done yet. Careful, you're going to call bubbles. Oh. Oh. Is that at least me? 93. 3. All dizzy. Get on with the show. Okay. All right. Run the show, damn it. Who do we have today? We got Broke Dick Brody. That's right. And maybe this guy's wife. Stephanie. Stephanie and Brody. Stephanie, are you there? I'm here. All right. Good job. She's kind of a hostage, so we gotta give her a break. And Broke Dick Brody is on someone named Megan's phone because he does. A woman pays your bills. All right, Stephanie, go ahead, pick a square. Ask the guy with you what to do next. Top right. Hey. President Trump. Excellent job. And you know what? Just like the election. I like it. A man told a woman what to do and she voted. Trump. Excellent job. Good to talk to you, Stephanie. How are you today? Did you hear the fart sound? It was gross. How are you? These guys won't stop playing that fart noise. It's disgusting. You ever have a beehive or a prolapse, Stephanie? No. No. I'm very confused why her husband had to remind you whether or not you'd had a. Don't let them know. Don't Let them know. Very strange moment to hear a man's voice in the background say no. Remember? Of course. Always answer that question with no. I don't want people thinking my wife's B hole is about to drop. All right. Got a question for you, sir. I've got an answer. All right, go ahead. If left untreated, Chagas disease will kill you by leaving you unable to poop. I know about Chagas disease. I got it at Epstein Island. That didn't happen. It never happened. But when it did, we all got chagas and we had to leave. It was a bad weekend at Epstein island. That never occurred. Chagas is a terrible thing and it clogs you up. Elvis does. Out of chagas. All right, you don't want to. You don't want to be dead with a belly full is what I always say. Sleepy Joe's got the Chagas. Really? No stains. That's right. He used to be known as. He used to be. That's right. No stains. They used to call his underwear Sloppy Joe. But now it's Sleepy Joe got the chagas. Very real. Can't poop. Very real. Trust me. Trust me. Stephanie killing true. She got it correct. Yes. My brain is out of here. Oh, my God. All right, can we get your husband to come help Cory a little bit? I am compl. Can you whisper in Cory's ear what to do next? All right, off to Brody. Make your selection. Ah, Morgan. Morgan Freeman. Okay, yeah. Finally this goes just right. There's no way I'm gonna be short winded enough not to make this the last square of the day. Oh, yeah. Now, let's recap our contestants. Sure. We have a man who has a woman paying all his bills. Whose name? Megan. John Holberg. Dreams of a day. Someone named Megan pays a bill. I'm just going to leave that one right there. Got to go. Send me a postcard from the couch. By the way, Blackjack. That may be a mic drop. Just cuz it was hilarious. And we all know that the weekend is now ruined based on one simple funny line. Thriller is dying and we don't know why, but he'll tell us eventually. He just stopped showing up. Then there's Stephanie, the woman on the phone with absolutely no concept of an answer without the help of a man. That's a good woman. My favorite woman. Just when you lost faith in humanity, Stephanie shows up and says whatever he says, I'll say. Yep, Stephanie and her husband go to restaurants. I'm sure. And she just says, no need for a menu. I can't read. He'll take care of this. But unlike Megan, Stephanie's never paid a bill either. That usually falls right in the lap of the man sitting in the driver's seat trying to give answers and listen at the same time. And his name is James. Stephanie's laughing because he knows it's true. All right, go ahead. Ask me a question. All right, Question for you here. Apu is the only Simpsons character that has had five fingers on each hand. True or false? Quiet down, James. You're not even playing. Break the illusion of having the girl contestant sitting in the car. Apu has three fingers just like the rest of us. They wouldn't have given an Indian extra. Okay, that seems ridiculous. All right? I know God was the only one who had five on that show. You wouldn't know about that. I do because I've played God. Because I am God. Go ahead. So you were saying false there. Now, Stephanie, do you agree or disagree with false? I agree. Correctness. There we go. Excellent work, Stephanie. All by yourself? Yeah, just doing it. Okay. Yeah, we're letting it ride on to Brody here. Make your selection. Ah. I'm going to say false as well. I think winner tried to give you a chance, Brody. Oh, man. Oh, man. We already gave the answer. What are we doing? I don't know. I don't either. Put it out of its misery. That was exactly what I was just about to say. You know who the luckiest being on the planet is right now at this very moment? Who's that? Alyssa. That dead dog I talked about earlier. Because at least she wasn't alive to hear this cacophony of nonsense. Good riddance, Alyssa. You checked out just in time before we met Brody. We're jealous of Alyssa. Let's just recap that for a second, too. Brody was just on the phone and heard the show where we said, that is correct. The answer had been established. What was Brody's next words? I say that's false, too. As if we needed you, scientist Brody, to give your assessment of what we already knew is true. He's never heard the show, sir. I was in a classroom once with Brody. Oh. The teacher said, two plus two is form. Brody rose his hand. The teacher said, brody. And he said, I believe that answer is four. And then the rest of the kids just laughed and laughed. And that's why Brody can't get a job and why Megan pays his bills. I'm going home now. Better if you do. Let's get out of here. Silly nonsense. Are we hooking them both up. Give them both with his answer. We ain't got time for all this. Knock down some mailboxes. All right, we're done. That's enough of us, Thriller. I'm really rooting for you. I don't know what's going on. For what it's worth, I have vacation in two weeks. You got to wait two more weeks like this? Oh, man. For two weeks, you got a fortnight of this behavior. Okay. Actually, one week. What's the thing? What's going on? Nothing. Just low sleep. Just lost. But there's not. There's a reason you're not sleeping. Magnesium citrate. And it isn't just that. Your mind is racing. Yeah. You did something. I might have a stomach ache. But that's neither here nor there. What did you swallow? A delicious meal. 93. 3. What did you swallow? All right, that's it. We're done. Thriller. Go enjoy your weekend. Nobody else going out doing anything. We go down everything. All right, we're done. Sean Knight's filling in for Larry. He's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a great weekend. We'll see you Monday right here in the morning segments. Until later. Bye. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I've heard enough of this. Running a business means checking a lot of boxes. Let's see. Payroll, check. Inventory, check. Insurance. Ah. Good thing Simply Business makes getting small business insurance fast and easy. Check insurance. Off your list@simplybusiness.com.