← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
07-11-25 - Guad Squares - Jimmy Fallon - Spongebob - Trump - Morgan Freeman - Hotel Host Brady - Billy Bob Thornton - Ozzy
00:22:17
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Corey Thriller
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. Really? You look beat up today. What's going on? Just been iffy on the sleep this week. Iffy? Yeah. Bills? No. What's got you stressed, man? I'm just. You lay down, you try to sleep, it doesn't happen. You start thinking afterwards. What are you thinking about? I don't know anything. Why I'm not sleeping. You think about how you don't know anything? Pretty much. Well, I'm worried about it. Well, it's similar to like your whole Neil degrasse Tyson. Oh, you're. You're in your own head. Yep. Your brain is just falling into itself. But it kept you from combing your beautiful hair today and you just showed up. I swear I did. And it just. It picks right back up on its own. It's crazy. It's just doing what it wants. Yes. And you look like it's. You look a little crazy. That's the Lee Harvey thing. Yeah, you got that Lee Harvey. It's just. It's lack of sleep, all right? If I ever kill anybody, I'd tell you. Okay? Don't say that. Jesus. If I ever kill anybody, I don't want to know any of that stuff. All right? You're going to know. You'll be the first to know. Because, you know, he's like spry and bright eyed. A lot of the times you're like, ah, thrillers here. He walked in today like you got a lot on your mind. We don't know what's going on. You can tell us. It's a safe place. Nobody's listening while it's recording. You know what you should do is turn the mics on over sports station. Just vent. No one will hear it. You'll get it off your chest. I think some folks on that national end of that. Do you think that's what's going on over there? Yeah. Thriller also does some shifts at the alternative station. Oh, you want one of our bumpers? The new sweep. I heard we're working on something. You've heard it? Yes. Yeah, I think it would fit right in. I think it's a good idea to have that right. 93. 3. You can run that during your shift. Yeah. See how that goes over. That's one of the older ones, though. Don't use those exact ones anymore. Oh, get us some new ones. We gotta do some work. All right, it's time now for Thriller to get us through this deal and get us out of here. On a Friday, it's your Guadalupe Squares, hosted by Corey Thriller. Walt Cory. Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin the Top Letter Square with Jimmy Fallon. Oh, my God. It's so good to be here right now. Kendall, I've been so happy to see you. Jimmy. Hey, Brady. What's going on? My man Free's here. Fruit's here sooner. There's Toledo. I don't really care about that. Jimmy. Jimmy. I met a coach. Get Brett. Sean Knight's over on the couch, and what he's doing is I get McMahon. Only skinny. Like, he's lost a bunch of weight. I don't know. Announced that he's lost a ton of waves. Where's my music, Brett? I didn't realize it. Hang on. Might get a commercial. Hang on. Okay, I've got a little bit of. I got a little bit of a temper this week. I had a fight with Sophie Cunningham. I don't know if you guys saw that. It was that. Nobody can put it on the air. Yeah, she came on the show. She started getting really mouthy. I had to kick her ass. No, she doesn't know karate at all. I tell her it's crap. She can only fight other WNBA girls. So I took her down. You gonna have her back on? Never. It's so funny, Freddie. What? Three hours dry. What happened? Yeah, I was sober for a little while. Yeah, shots. She knocked my. Shots fired. Where? I'll take them anyways. Cheers. Brad, that's Chris. Hey, tell Mathias I'm coming in at three. Local legends. I'm there all the time. Screech. Tonight on the Tonight Show. Okay, all the other girls from the wnba, except Sophie Cunningham, we have that awesome angel, Reese. She's gonna probably miss the chair by a foot and a half to the left, but that's okay. She's gonna play one on one with Blake Shelton. She's gonna. One on one with Blake Shelton. We're gonna get her out there and then she tips. We're not gonna have Sophie Cunningham out anymore. She came out and started yelling at me. I like that brat. I like a submissive bitch. Everybody knows Fallon likes a submissive bitch. You don't know my dark side, and you don't want to know it. Okay? It's good to see you, Thriller. Yeah. Yeah. Good to have you out here also. That's the way you treat me, right, Jimmy? That's how to treat Jimmy Fallon. All right, now to the top middle Square. We have SpongeBob joining us. Hello, Thriller. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's good to see you. Yeah, good to see you look sad. Well, you know. Has someone in your life hurt you? No, it's self inflicted. Don't worry. Oh, no, he's suicidal, Patrick. See, things can't be all bad. Okay, well, tell me what hurt? What if I was your therapist, Thriller, what's the thing that hurts you most? Uh, self judgment. What's the most wrong with you? You got time? No. Cherry pick. Okay, well, I can't reach cherry shoe. Yeah, but then, oh, it's your leg. Bang. Well, my advice to you is get used to it. There's no cure. Back to work, thriller. All right. 93.3 all DZ. It just sounds wetter each time. Well, I'm in the sea. That is true. All right, good. Over now onto the top right square. President Trump, how you doing? I'm not great. What's going on? I'm not great. I looked at the Epstein list and had to determine that there was no list. But there's a lot of guys on that list. Security threat, Right? There's a big security threat. The list doesn't exist, Thriller. But if it did, it would be a security threat. Trust me, I've seen it. And I don't want to lie about the list, but my God, is that list dangerous? The one that doesn't exist? That's what I'll tell you right away. I'm not real happy with Femme Bondi. Oh, yeah. She said there was. She said there wasn't. That's it. Toledo. I'm just gonna tariff you for 55% because I think you're a piece of. I'm in a mood. Why? I'm kind of like. I'm kind of like Thriller, right? You don't know why. On the reg. You don't know why. But I'm not real happy. I'm not happy. It's French fry day. I should be happier, but I'm not happy. 7:11 Slurpee and French fries is not a lot better than that. It's a good combo. Good, great combo. I don't know why you're hanging your head so low. Thriller. And get some. Go in there, Slushy. Go get a Thriller. Could you. Could you shoplift? And I bet you could. And no one would say a thing. As long as it doesn't fall out. Yes. Yeah, I think you can. I think you'd walk out with it in your hands. Every be like, you know what? Let him have it. Let him have it. He's been through enough. Let's try that today. Let's shoplift with a handicapped guy and see if anyone stops it. Hide it in a wheelchair. Who knows? You don't need a wheelchair. It's better the way you move. The way you move. I love the way you move. I like to watch you walk away. What? I think you heard me. Anyway, go ahead. I'm sorry for what ailed you. Nah, it's all right. You're busy enough. On now to the middle left square. Morgan Freeman joining us. That's you. What are you playing? Hey, what's going on? And once again, Toledo's porn drowned out my music. Morgan got Toledoed. I've been Toledoed by Toledo before. I just wanted to come on here and express myself about the quality of this program. This morning we listen. I'm playing it Toledo. It's up to you now. There you go. Turning on kdkb. This is ridiculous. This weekend on kdkb, we're going to the zoo. We're not the normal zoo. Are those slugs? That's a slug in its own way, Brady. Same texture. If it hits the ground, it leaves a gooey patch. The show started off strong this morning with Brady telling us why it was french fry day. Simply because we love them. Then it moved on to 45 minutes of a fart sound that would not go away. That's not a fart. It wasn't a fart. Indeed. And no man likes to say that. Was that a fart sound? That was no fart. I have to go change my pants. And it moved right on after way too long on the fart noise into the saddest story I've ever heard in my life on the radio about a dog who passed away after finding a home just two weeks earlier. The fart sound. The dog, Brady. Sometimes I look at Brady and hear that fart sound, and I'm reminded of his sisters. Three burly, short, gentleme that used to handle their business in the washroom at Shawshank. And boy, did they handle their. They got it done. Sometimes Andy Dufresne would come back with a beehive, a good foot and a half hanging out of his ass. So you have seen the beehive? I've seen the beehive. I was in prison for over four to five years. Oh, my God. Red was Here. Oh, I carved it right into the side of one of those beehives. So thank you, morning sickness and all its participants for the most cockeyed but well rounded show I've ever heard in my life. And always remember, apartmenthomes.com is the best. The apartment Internet. What? No, that's different. Let's go, Bloom. You should not be confusing us at all. Cuck. Completely different. That's a lonesome side. Let's close it up. Everybody wins. All right. Now on to the center square. We have hotel host Brady. How you doing? Hey, want to go on a trip with me? I won't get your room. You got to sleep next to my farts. I would really rather not. You're going to be wishing you had that other guy in the room from the video today. Hey, Caitlyn, remember me? I'm Brady. Does this ring a bell? Yeah. Two in the morning. Brady also sleeps naked. Hey, if you got a 16 year old girl, you want me to drive her across state lines and sleep in the same room with her? There's nothing unusual about that at all. No, you're keeping her safe. That's what it is. Exactly. Thriller gets it. I keep all the teens safe. You chain them to the radiator? Yep. You take away all the stuff that they can hurt themselves with like necklaces and jewelry and clothing and you leave them in the room for your own uses. And then later you fart all night while they're in there. While you suck it in through a cpap. That's right. You've got a similar life A little bit. Sometimes. Come with me. I'll take you around the world. Almost one sickness. Magnetic upd. Hi. Hi. I'm Richard Karn and you may have seen me on TV talking about the world's number one expandable garden hose. The brand new pocket hose. Copperhead with pocket pivot is here and it's a total game changer. Plus your super light and ultra durable pocket hose Copperhead is backed with a 10 year warranty. What could be better than that? For a limited time you can get a free pocket Pivot and their 10 pattern sprayer with the purchase of any size Copperhead hose. Just go to getcopperhead.com that's getcopperhead.com for your two free gifts with purchase getcopperhead.com darkness on now to be a middle right square. Billy Bob Thornton joining us. That's right. That's the wrong guy. Hold on. How did I get over here? How in the world did that just happen? There Was a little Morgan residue left in me. Oh, no. Oh, my God. I realize what I just said. Yeah. Don't. Don't search that online. You wouldn't say that to Tom Petty. Which. These are too hard to separate. Yeah, they are. Music. No, it's not that. So much. Brock. Now I'm just. Now. Now it's Brock. Now I'm just gonna leave them all in. They're all just morphing like some sort of acid trick. That's your fault. You did this. Which is all because of you. All right, fair enough. Your downtrodden attitude has created some sort of nightmare where we don't even know what squares we're in. Well, let me do you a favor. Are you effing with me right now? I'm literally not. All right, cheer up, son. Things can't be all bad. You got one good one. That's right. 50% is still enough. But it's better than 40. Good point. On. Now to the bottom left square. By the way, that might be the saddest thing I've ever heard a corporate guy ever say. That's. That's the sunny side of life. For him, 50 is better than 40. What a high bar you've set for yourself. Good morning, gentlemen. Hello there. I'm 83 years old. I'm the actor. Laugh it up, fuzzball. Look away, Marion. Oh, he's doing his quotes. Jeez, who you talking about? He's giving us. Yeah, he was giving us. He's. He's older. So we flash him back to his movie scenes, and he's doing lines. I get it now. Okay. Classic lines from the Secret Square. I see what you did there. Okay, now to the bottom of the square, we have Ozzy joining us. Come on. It was just my last day, Brett. I thought we were retired, what happened here? Yeah, I thought so, too. I wouldn't have to come out and do this stuff anymore. How are you doing? Hey, Thriller. You want to be in a foot race? I think I can still beat you. It'd be close. I think it'd be very close. People could watch us. You see my artwork with those chimpanzees? I did. Did they beat you up beforehand? Yes, I was mauled by them. It was insane. It was the most incredible thing I've ever been a part of. And I said, I was in there. I recognized one of those chimpanzees, and I said, hey, your bubbles used to be Bubbles. Bubbles are still around. But bubbles was. Yeah, he's in there with those other chimpanzees. Now. He's an artist. He's a lesbian. They all turned into artists eventually. Well, I just couldn't believe what I was seeing there. Just look around and like, I know you babbles are looking at me and go, shh. He didn't want anyone to know he's a famous chimpanzee. He'll rip your face off when a chimpanzee gives you the shushies. Do it. They are very strong. They're incredibly strong. You're gonna find out. You know, that's like a retarded person. Don't pick. You'll find out the hard way. You prod one of those and the next thing you know, there's like the. That's like the difference between a chimpanzee and a human man. The thing in between. So they're mentally reserved for missing link. Ozzy, why'd you put the grass in your butt? Because the chimpanzees had shown me that it feels very good. And let me tell you this, they're right. Get that grass from your ass, Ozzy. Oh, God. Sharon's here again. She always dry fingers. It keeps me around like a puppet. Pull it out. Yeah, not too much now. Go ahead. Thriller. All right. All right. He's off today. Bottom right square. Our Lord and Savior. It's Ripley. How you. I'm off a little too. Why is that? Morgan Freeman forgot the part of the show where John and I were gay together. Oh, yeah? What did it sound like? I'm on fire. Fireball. Turn around. Ouch. I assume you're on top, sir. I'm not done yet. Careful, you're gonna call Bubbles. Oh, is that at least 93? 3. Get on with the show. Okay. All right. Run the show, damn it. Who do we have today? We got Brooke, Dick Brody. That's right. And maybe this guy's wife, Stephanie. Stephanie and Brody. Stephanie, are you there? I'm here. All right. Good job. She's kind of a hostage, so we gotta give her a break. And broke Dick Brody is on someone named Megan's phone because he doesn't. A woman pays your bills. All right, Stephanie, go ahead, pick a square. Ask the guy with you what to do next. Top right. Hey, President Trump. Excellent job. And you know what? Just like the election. I like it. A man told a woman what to do and she voted. Trump, excellent job. Good to talk to you, Stephanie. How are you today? Did you hear the fart sound? It was gross. How are you? These guys won't stop playing that fart noise. It's disgusting. You ever have a beehive or a prolapse, Stephanie? No. No. I'm very confused why her husband had to remind you whether or not you'd had a. Don't let them know. Don't let them know. Very strange moment to hear a man's voice in the background say no. Remember? Of course. Always answer that question with no. I don't want people thinking my wife's B hole is about to drop. I got a question for you, sir. I've got an answer. All right, go ahead. If left untreated, Chagas disease will kill you by leaving you unable to poop. I know about Chagas disease. I got it at Epstein Island. That didn't happen. It never happened. But when it did, we all got Chagas and we had to leave. It was a bad weekend at Epstein Island. That never occurred. Chagas is a terrible thing and it clogs you up. Elvis died of Chagas. All right, you don't want to. You don't want to be dead with a belly full is what I always say. Sleepy Joe's got the Chagas. Really? No stains. That's right. He used to be known as. He used to be. That's right. No stains. They used to call his underwear Sloppy Joe. But now it's Sleepy Joe got the Chagas. Very real. Can't poop. Very real. Trust me. Trust me, Stephen Happening killing you. True. She got it correct. Yes. I was waiting for your answer. My brain is out of here. Oh, my God. All right, can we get your husband to come help Cory a little bit? I am completely. Can you whisper in Cory's ear what to do next? All right, off to Brody. Make your selection. Ah, Morgan. Morgan Freeman. Okay, yeah. Finally this goes just right. There's no way I'm gonna be short winded enough not to make this the last square of the day. Oh, yeah. Now, let's recap our contestants. Sure. We have a man who has a woman paying all his bills, whose name Megan John Holmberg dreams of a day, someone named Megan pays a bill. I'm just gonna leave that one right there. Gotta go. Send me a postcard from the couch. By the way, Blackjack. That may be a mic drop just cause it was hilarious. And we all know that the weekend is now ruined based on one simple funny line. Thriller is dying and we don't know why, but he'll tell us eventually he just stops showing up. Then there's Stephanie, the woman on the phone with absolutely no concept of an answer without the help of a Man, that's a good woman. My favorite woman. Just when you lost faith in humanity, Stephanie shows up and says, whatever he says, I'll say. Yep. Stephanie and her husband go to restaurants, I'm sure. And she just says, no need for a menu. I can't read. He'll take care of this. But unlike Megan, Stephanie's never paid a bill either. That usually falls right in the lap of the man sitting in the driver's seat trying to give answers and listen at the same time. And his name is James. Stephanie's laughing because she knows it's true. All right, go ahead. Ask me a question. All right, question for you here. Apu is the only Simpsons character that has had five fingers on each hand. True or false, Apu, quiet down. James, you're not even playing. Break the illusion of having the girl contestant sitting in the car. Apu has three fingers just like the rest of us. They wouldn't have given an Indian extra. Okay, that seems ridiculous. I know. God was the only one who had five on that show. You wouldn't know about that. I do because I've played God, because I am God. Go ahead. So you were saying false there. Now, Stephanie, do you agree or disagree with false? I agree. Correctness. There we go. Excellent work, Stephanie. All by yourself. Okay, yeah, we're letting it ride onto Brody here. Make your selection. Ah. I'm gonna say false as well, I think. Oh, good one. Yeah. Tried to give you a chance, Brody. Oh, man. Oh, man. We already gave the answer. What are we doing? I don't know. I don't either. Put it out of its misery. That was exactly what I was just about to say. You know who the luckiest being on the planet is right now at this very moment? Who's that? Alyssa. That dead dog I talked about earlier. Because at least she wasn't alive to hear this cacophony of nonsense. Good riddance. Alyssa, you checked out just in time before we met Brody. We're jealous of Alyssa. Let's just recap that for a second, too. Brody was just on the phone and heard the show where we said, that is correct. The answer had been established. What was Brody's next words? I say that's false, too. As if we needed you, Scientist Brody, to give your assessment of what we already knew is true. He's never heard the show, sir. I was in a classroom once with Brody. Oh. The teacher said, two plus two is four. And Brody rose his hand. The teacher said, brody. And he said, I believe that answer is four. And then the rest of the kids just laughed and laughed. And that's why Brody can't get a job and why Megan pays his bills. I'm going home now. Jesus. Better if you do. Let's get out of here. Silly nonsense. Are we hooking them both up? Give him both his answer. We ain't got time for all this. Knock down some mailboxes. We're done. That's enough of us, Thriller. I'm really rooting for you. I don't know what's going on. For what it's worth, I have vacation in two weeks. You gotta wait two more weeks like this? Oh, man. We're canceling the Squares for two weeks? You got a fortnight of this behavior. Okay. Actually, one week. What's the thing? What's going on? Nothing. Just low sleep. Just low sleep? But there's not. There's a reason you're not sleeping. Magnesium citrate. And it isn't just that. Your mind is racing. Yeah. You did something. I might have a stomach ache. But that's neither here nor there. What did you swallow? A delicious meal. 93. 3. What did you swallow? All right, that's it. We're done. Thriller. Go enjoy your weekend. Nobody else going out doing anything. Good on everything. All right, we're done. Sean Knight's filling in for Larry. He's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a great weekend. We'll see you Monday right here in the morning segment. Until later. Bye. Hey, it's not Weir here. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.