07-11-25 - Woodpecker Reacts And What If Its Slow - Emailer Asks Would Bret And John Be Gay For Each Other - Emailer Asks For Relationship Advice For His 26yo GF About Her Fave Movies Being Red Flags

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Released on: July 11, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Bret Vesely, Brady Bogen, Dick Toledo
Station: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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1. Woodpecker Reacts and Its Behavior

Overview:
The episode kicks off with a listener email discussing a humorous take on woodpeckers, prompting the hosts to engage in a lively and comedic discussion about the bird's antics.

Key Points:

• Listener's Woodpecker Story: A listener describes a scenario involving a particularly persistent woodpecker, which the hosts find amusing.
• Hosts' Reactions: The team humorously exaggerates the woodpecker's behavior, likening it to a relentless character in a cartoon.

Notable Quotes:

• Bret Vesely [02:08]: "Got an email. Guy said for instant listening to your woodpecker story, it sounds like you might have a 'downsy' woodpecker. That's a cartoon I'd watch."
• Big Dick Toledo [02:42]: "It's just plowing through giant trees."

Discussion Highlights:

• The hosts playfully mock the idea of a woodpecker with exaggerated traits, leading to a series of jokes about the bird's strength and persistence.
• They compare the woodpecker's behavior to characters in popular culture, enhancing the comedic effect.

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2. Would Bret and John Be Gay for Each Other?

Overview:
A listener poses a provocative question about whether hosts Bret Vesely and John Holmberg would consider being in a same-sex relationship with each other, sparking a humorous and candid conversation about sexuality and friendships.

Key Points:

• Listener's Query: The question challenges Bret and John to consider a hypothetical scenario regarding their sexual orientations.
• Hosts' Banter: Bret and John engage in lighthearted banter, debating the plausibility and their personal preferences.

Notable Quotes:

• Bret Vesely [02:45]: "If I were gay, I think I'd want to take the big..."
• John Holmberg [04:29]: "I manscape, though."
• Bret Vesely [05:02]: "Yeah, Day trip is into it. You got an athletic ass. Thanks, boss."

Discussion Highlights:

• The hosts joke about their differing preferences and physical attributes, emphasizing the playful nature of their camaraderie.
• They touch upon societal perceptions of masculinity and attractiveness in a humorous context.

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3. Relationship Advice: Favorite Movies as Red Flags

Overview:
A listener seeks advice on his relationship, expressing concern that his 26-year-old girlfriend's favorite movies may indicate deeper compatibility issues.

Key Points:

• Listener's Concerns: The girlfriend favors movies like "Fargo," "Breaking Dawn," and "The Godfather," which he perceives as red flags.
• Hosts' Analysis: Bret leads a critical examination of the girlfriend's movie preferences, suggesting they reflect on her personality and the health of their relationship.

Notable Quotes:

• Bret Vesely [13:48]: "Are there better tests, Jeremy. Wow. The big one. There are movie deal breakers."
• John Holmberg [15:45]: "Yeah, dump that."
• Bret Vesely [19:08]: "So that, to me, is the big red flag in this one is the deal breaker, is that she didn't even sit back and try."

Discussion Highlights:

• Impact of Movie Choices: The hosts argue that a person's favorite movies can reveal significant aspects of their character and compatibility.
• Specific Examples:
  • "Fargo" and "The Godfather": Viewed as complex and profound films, the girlfriend's admiration for these movies is seen as a positive trait initially but later questioned based on her reactions.
  • "Breaking Dawn" and "Dude, Where's My Car?": These are critiqued as indicative of superficial preferences and lack of depth in understanding narratives.
• Red Flags Identified:
  • Lack of Appreciation for Nuance: The girlfriend's inability to engage deeply with complex films is seen as a sign of possible disengagement in the relationship.
  • Criticism of Romantic Movies: Favorite movies like "The Notebook" and "Forrest Gump" are deconstructed to highlight perceived negative traits in her character based on her movie preferences.

Conclusion: The hosts suggest that while movie preferences alone shouldn't dictate the fate of a relationship, consistent misalignments in values and tastes can be indicative of deeper incompatibilities.

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4. Musical Treats and Ongoing Discussions

Overview:
Towards the end of the episode, the hosts briefly touch upon their favorite music tracks and continue their playful banter about various movie characters and scenarios.

Key Points:

• Music Recommendations: The hosts share their current favorite songs, adding a lighter note to the intense discussions.
• Continued Humor: The conversation shifts back to dissecting movie plots, particularly focusing on "Forrest Gump," with the hosts providing alternative, humorous interpretations of the storyline.

Notable Quotes:

• Bret Vesely [44:30]: "Now look what happened. Had he stuck taking Val Kilmer, too? At that point? I'd take the late Val Kilmer all day."
• Brett Vesely [45:18]: "This is one of those solid ones you're pretty happy with. You got it? Ready?"

Discussion Highlights:

• Alternative Perspectives: The hosts offer unconventional and humorous takes on classic movies, challenging traditional interpretations.
• Engagement with Listeners: They encourage listeners to share their thoughts and continue the conversation beyond the episode.

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Final Thoughts

Overall Summary:
This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" delivers a blend of humor, candid conversations, and sharp critiques centered around listener interactions. From playful debates on hypothetical relationships to in-depth analyses of personal compatibility through movie preferences, the hosts engage in entertaining yet insightful discussions. Their ability to balance humor with genuine advice makes for an engaging listening experience, especially for those navigating similar relationship dilemmas.

Notable Mention:
Despite the comedic tone, the episode touches upon meaningful aspects of relationships and personal compatibility, urging listeners to reflect on the influences of shared interests and values.

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Disclaimer:
The content discussed in this summary reflects the nature of the original podcast episode. Some language and sentiments expressed by the hosts may be offensive or not suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

Converg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil.

[Brett]

Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98 can you pity all first morning.

[Brady]

Satan gotta get up to here and make you laugh until you puke. They might make you come undone. Make your cock rise with the. We'd like to welcome you to this morning's show with John, Brett and Brady and big Dick Toledo. They call us hobs but we are not worthwhiles. To nowhere they speak on controversy. Who's Bobby and Johnny's knob? They think Dua lipa's great for the faint of heart. They're not. Homer's morning sickness. You gotta get up to hear it. Make some laugh. Makes them cry. In all seriousness and fun. Make your cock rise with the sun. We'd like to introduce our main host. They say he looks like Squidward with that big huge nose. But that's a prereq. They own the mornings airing over 20 years. Like a blue pill. They're still going. Brady comes in shorts to report the news. He knows. But you can't eat at Porkopolis because it close. Morning sickness. You got to get up to hear it. Make you laugh until you spe. Wipe you off when they are done. Make your cock rise with the sun. Homework's morning sickness. You got to tune in and listen. Tap that up. Yeah. Don't get screwed in the end. All in good fun. Big rip. Radio's got you, son.

[Brett]

That was directly from the leader of the place. Ah, there we go. Miles to nowhere. Everybody. That's the glorious Katie and Hobbs starting off Friday for you. 6:46. Got an email. Guy said for instant listening to your woodpecker story, it sounds like you might have a downsy woodpecker. That's a cartoon I'd watch. Down syndrome. Ding, ding ding ding, ding ding ding.

[Big Dick Toledo]

It's just plowing through giant trees.

[Brett]

It's so strong. Strong. That down syndrome woodpeckers out there cutting down an oak and then the bald guy just goes out and mashes it. It's one episode. Woody's not smart enough to get away. Woodpecker is licking our windows. Ew. Quit it. Downsey woodpeckers bagging my groceries. Oh, I've heard about you. We'll see. I'll keep you up to date on the woodpecker? But as it stands right now, he's. You know, birds are supposed to do what this. They knock him down and they're like, go fly. Get out of here. That's what Toledo should be doing to his kid. Get out. Can't. Yeah, he's screwed. He can't. Humans ruin that. And this one said earlier in the conversation, you told Brett, it's too bad you're not gay. You'd be a great couple. I can't imagine a scenario of Brett being the bottom, but you. Are you okay taking that big Italian salami? All right, Andrew, first off, you overthought one sentence of this show way too much to hop on your computer. Andrew Krieger. And if I were gay, I think I'd want to take the big. I think I'd be. That'd be. I'm not. That's what's keeping Brett and I not gay. We were born this way. Thanks, Gaga. Yeah, exactly. We can't help it. It's who we are. Would I be interested in Brett if we were homosexuals? Maybe. I don't know. He's hairy and disgusting to me. As a heterosexual. As a homosexual, maybe he's my type.

[John Holmberg]

I manscape, though.

[Brett]

So I'll tell you this. You don't have enough money. I'd be one of those.

[John Holmberg]

I get it.

[Brett]

And I'm. Nobody in this room has enough money. Oh, I'm definitely. I'm not gonna look.

[John Holmberg]

So you're gonna take it from Trip?

[Brett]

I would. Yeah. I would take it from Tripp for a little while. How are the ratings? Turn around. Time to make a donation. And then, you know, live the lavish lifestyle. But that's if I was homosexual.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Signing checks with your mom. Blanc pen.

[Brett]

Here. Ow. It's a present for you. Reach in your ass and get it. Oh, another. Another mount. Blanc pen. Thank you, honey buns. Yeah, Day trip is into it. You got an athletic ass. Thanks, boss. I want to take you to Baltimore this weekend, and we're gonna fire all over the walls. Okay? Fun, honey bunch. But see, I'm not. I'm not. It' appealing to me, but if I were gay, I think I'd be a size queen. And I think I'd also be after the cash. I wouldn't waste money with some broke dick. Gay. It's a man.

[John Holmberg]

They can just go next door and try it out.

[Brett]

They're both well off.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying.

[Brett]

Troy and Michael are well off, but I'm not interested in it in that regard, I am interested in the idea of it thinking, wow, that does look pretty good. And I don't think I'd go for Twinkie guys because actually Troy always goes, yay. What are you doing in your backyard? I said, oh, it's a basketball court. He goes, we sportsball. Like, he wouldn't be a good twink for me because I want a dude we can post up.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You want a similar.

[Brett]

I want a dude that's like me that will do a little one on one. And maybe while we're doing some backing down around the post, he starts getting a little hard.

[John Holmberg]

You and Stebbings, I mean.

[Brett]

Oh, Mark and I have talked about it a million times.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, you guys used to roll with your shirts off, you know, so.

[Brett]

Talking about chicks, look where that got us. But if we were gay, oh, we'd be out there in Hopkins house the whole time. Negative edge pool watching sunsets and just beautiful. Yeah. If I was a woman or a gay guy. Waste time with Brady or you, dude, better have some cash. I don't know what you're doing. Is that all love is? Yeah, it's comfort. I'm not wasting my time being poor. If I. If I can control that without doing work and all I gotta do is blow somebody and get all the bills paid. I'm considering it as I say it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Are those dating services? Millionaire matchmakers.

[Brett]

You mean smart dating services where the girls are like, no, I'm going to waste my time with Toledo. What's out there that's actually like decent? Like, can I find a decent one that's already comfortable? I would do that in a second. If I was a young broad, I wouldn't listen to the social pressures. You think I'm going to sit there with some other 25 year old dude? We're gonna make it. Someday I'm gonna have all these. Oh, God, bro. I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna find some 45 year old who's already established himself and I'm gonna milk that till it's dead and then get the will. It's the plan. Idiots. Love my partners. Love. No, it's not. You hold all the cards. You have all that power as a homosexual or a woman, you know, and you're going out with breath. The hell's wrong with you, Messiah?

[John Holmberg]

Hey, I don't question it.

[Brett]

Maia's a pretty woman. Yeah, I comes home, looks at you every day and goes, appreciate. Yeah, she's got a, like budget and account and stuff. Yeah, it's. You gotta Appreciate it. It's a nice thing. But it doesn't make any sense when you boil it down to, like, you know, you take the emotion out of it. You're like, what are you thinking? That ass is not gonna last forever. Use it wisely. But you know what's funnier about that is, is that the, like, the D does that to like, the 80 year old man. Like, he's not gonna care if you let yourself go a little bit. Because he looks around in his age group and he's like, let's go. Like, Jesus Christ. These are just bags of dust I'm surrounded by. You can be a little bit plump. You can kind of lay off a little bit. You're not gonna get so fat. He's disgusted by you. Before he dies, I'd be all over that. I wish I was attracted to dudes. I wish it was inside because I would have. You guys would be blown away at my bezos life lifestyle. And that dude would be in a wheelchair. His legs would be so useless from all the blowing. He would not. My mouth would barely be hanging on. And he couldn't. He couldn't walk. Meanwhile, just loaded, loaded, going anywhere we wanted. That relationship would be the only one in the world where we'd have to sit down and he'd be like, honey, like, yeah, what is it? I need you to stop blowing me so much. That was the only time that conversation would happen. It's just too much. I appreciate it, but I have. I have to say, it's too much. Tripp would have to do that. I have to tell you, John, you're blowing me too much. No man's ever said that. But you would if you dated me. If I was interested.

[John Holmberg]

Tripp's gonna be texting you here in a few minutes.

[Brett]

Hey, I'm in town this weekend. Ye. If I was interested and I was at work, I'd be flirting with him like crazy. Oh, hey, John. Hey. Nice pants. Those Mack Weldons. Yeah. And the next thing you know, my shirt's off and he's like, I've seen worse. And then I'd be all over him. If I were interested in that, you know, hair and poop. I'm not. But I can separate myself and fantasize for a little. Brady's disgusted by the whole thing. Cause he's into, like, love and living in shacks and nonsense sense and paying for other people. No, that's dumb. You should think my way. Brady, consider being gay for a little. You're not getting any younger, friend. Be Gay. And live the life for a little while. What do you got to lose? Get on out there. Find yourself a rich homosexual.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Start sucking.

[Brett]

There was. That's right. That's right. And you say it like a foreman on a construction site. All right, boys. Stop sucking.

[John Holmberg]

Is that how Dan used to walk onto the site every week?

[Brett]

All right. You guys thought you sucked last week. We're doubling down now that the heat's here. Everybody gets here and starts sucking at three in the morning. Yeah, I don't know what I would. I know I wouldn't be. I don't know. If I were predetermined for that, I would definitely be great at it. Holmberg's morning sickness. I'm not. Yeah, we wouldn't have any furniture. It would just be a gigantic mansion. Empty. With just mops.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Porcelain.

[Brett]

Porcelain.

[Big Dick Toledo]

And hose everything out.

[Brett]

That's it. Yeah. Maybe a drain in the middle of the floor.

[John Holmberg]

Like a slaughterhouse. Just got the hose out.

[Brett]

Power washers. It's like a giant shower. Just get it out. Power wash the floor. Get right in the hose.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Stainless tables.

[Brett]

Tables. Who need. You're already to dinner. Kind of that. I'm eating. I'm eating just fine. We don't even have a kitchen. Just a giant. Like a prayer room in the Middle East. Just a giant room. The drain in the middle of it. But that's how I would be gay. I think the gays are doing all right. If you're gay and you're with a poor gay and you're poor, that's just stupid. Two poor gays living together.

[John Holmberg]

Is there such thing?

[Brett]

It can't be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Brett]

They never see a charity for, like, helping the poor gays happen. All right, here's this email. And this. This was. This had me thinking. And Brett, you're gonna love part of this. It says, and it's not because it's racist or anything. It kind of goes after people says, hey, Holmberg, I tried to get in with your comedian yesterday. We had a Fion Crockett on, and he was solving people's relationship issues and whatever he said. And I have a real one. I couldn't get through. Tonight is a big night for my relationship. I think it meant last night. My girl has the worst taste in movies. I'm 37 years old and she's 26. We're going to see Superman. That is a good. It bets good age gap. We're going to see Superman. I don't want the whole relationship to hinge on a movie like Superman. But I tell you, if she doesn't quote, get it? I think I'm out. She never understands little stuff. When we watch TV or movies, I'm always trying to have conversations about what we just watched, and she can't do it if she draws a blank on something like Superman. I think I have to go. She wanted to watch old movies a couple months ago to try to relate. So we all picked our favorite three movies. My first one was Fargo. Hers was Breaking dawn, that horrible Twilight.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that means she's hot.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's what I think it says. About eight minutes into Fargo, she looked at me and she goes, are they gonna talk like that the whole time? She meant the accents. She wasn't listening to the words they were saying. She just didn't like their voices. And I said, they're not singing. You don't have to like their voices. It's just part of where they're from. She bitched enough right off the bat and covered her ears several times that we just turned it off. It disappointed me because Fargo's so great. It's one of my favorites. She didn't even give it a chance. Breaking dawn was our next selection. I made one comment. I'm like, jesus, Kristen Stewart can't act. She turns the TV off and says, fine, forget it, and walks away. We tried again a week later with the list of the greatest movies ever we found on the Internet and the ones we'd never seen. We were gonna have a weekend starting with Brett's people. We chose the Godfather.

[John Holmberg]

God damn right.

[Brett]

Marlon Brando started talking as the iconic Godfather, and she laughed and goes, oh, my God. Seriously? What is he, a cartoon?

[John Holmberg]

Dtb. Dump that bitch.

[Brett]

This is ridiculous. And we just turned it off because she wouldn't stop giggling at the legend. Her selection of all time on the list was Psycho. Neither of us had seen that. Her reaction to that one. Ready? She said out loud. So did they used to think all trans people were murderers back then? I laughed and I'm like, no. She goes, it's so obviously not the mom. I'm like, all right, we're turning this off. Nice job, Sherlock Holmes. Superman is my last straw. If she says something absolutely stupid about a movie as light hearted and shallow as Superman, I'm afraid I have to bail. But she is so sexy and so normal in almost every other way. But when it comes to movies and entertainment, I'm just not sure it's there. Am I being overreactionary, or is a movie deal breaker a real thing? Are there Better tests, Jeremy. Wow. The big one. There are movie deal breakers. Sure. Yours probably would be her thinking. Godfather is horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, dump that.

[Brett]

Yeah. Making fun of Marlon Brando in your house. Goodbye. It is a. Again. I'll go back to my friend Chuck, who was going to marry a woman. He. He was. He had purchased a ring he was going to ask this woman to marry. They laid in bed one weekend and had a sex and movie marathon, 48 hours. And the movie that he said they chose because she had never seen it was Gone with the Wind. And as they took a break, because it was a two at the time, two CDs, you had to. Or two DVDs. You had to change it out. And he said after the first half ended, he got up, they had sex, that it was amazing. It was the best weekend of his life. They're banging away, watching this great movie. She didn't say anything the first time through. Have sex again during the intermission part before they switched DVDs. It was unbelievable. Put the second half of Gone with the Wind in, and as it starts, she says, who wins the war? And he realized right then and there he was making a terrible mistake. He goes, I can't marry her. He had the ring in the drawer. This was gonna be the day. And she said something as simple as who wins the war? Now, if you're in the car right now going, what do you mean? That's a logical que. It's Gone with the Wind. It's a Civil War movie. If you ask who wins the war, two hours into the four hours, you still haven't grasped that it's the American Civil War, and we're fighting in the Deep south here. And you still are questioning, like, is it gonna be important if who wins this? This. Yeah. You are no longer part of my life. You're in your car right now going, well, that's a reasonable question. It's. There's a reason you're single. There's a reason. There's no tan on your finger, ma'. Am. Your finger. The tan line is gone. There's no ring tan. You are completely orange from fingertip to wrist.

[Big Dick Toledo]

In his relationship. And the guy in the letter, 3726.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I put her in the. The moldable age.

[Brett]

You can manipulate her brain.

[Big Dick Toledo]

There are a lot of things that they have, they've never been familiar with.

[Brett]

Now you're getting into nature. Nurture.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah. And that is.

[Brett]

It takes a little.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I mean, that's patience.

[Brett]

See, I wonder at 26, if her entertainment base has Been established. And it's going to be nearly impossible to get her out of.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Can be. But even if it was, it doesn't matter. That person. Oh, it sometimes comes around. I mean, I've known people that.

[Brett]

Got.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Married and the wife wasn't a real big football fan. Gets into it.

[Brett]

That's indoctrination of a singular event. Yeah. Okay. You're talking about entertainment and movies. There's a shallow factor. I don't know.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I've seen people go around, you know, from all sudden, they're. I haven't run into them in a while now. They're huge country fans.

[Brett]

Yeah. Those are lost human beings. I know that. To me, yeah, those people. That's a lost human being. And yeah, your musical tastes can change.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I think those things can change, but.

[Brett]

That'S actually getting worse.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Hanging out with.

[Brett]

I think you can be influenced.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I think Fargo being a fantastic, amazing movie, if you don't give it a chance, you're never going to.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So that, to me is the big red flag in this one is the deal breaker, is that she didn't even sit back and try.

[Big Dick Toledo]

But I can see stumbling like he did. Like, you know, it is Breaking Dawn.

[Brett]

It's awful, and it's hard.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You just. You know, if I go in there, you have to go in there and just remember, you can't make any snipe.

[Brett]

Yes, you can. You're a human being. You're an individual.

[Big Dick Toledo]

If you wanted to back.

[Brett]

There's a. There's the problem. I think he's afraid of her. If he's doing that, I can't talk. I can't talk around her. Then you've got a bigger problem. You should be able to say, what.

[Big Dick Toledo]

She'S my favorite movie. Because you see how it didn't work on that side. It's like, well, you really like this movie. Great.

[Brett]

No, there's a difference. Because if you're trying to manipulate, if.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You'Re trying to find someone to like.

[Brett]

Everything, nobody's gonna do. No, but that's black and white. That's a dumb argument. Nobody's black.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Well, I know, but people have to realize that. I don't think.

[Brett]

I don't think anybody's trying to say you have to like everything I like or not. But to expand your horizons more than eight minutes of Fargo and get lost in it. I think your biggest red flag there was when you said, pick your favorite movie, and she brought you the third or fourth one from Twilight and didn't ask you, have you seen the first three It's a little deep. You can't get into Breaking dawn parts one and two if you don't know what the hell's going on in the first one. Your favorite movie can't be Rocky 3. It just can't be. Clever was great, but no, he was awesome. Yeah. But the reason you liked it is because you'd already established your relationship with Rocky. Yeah. The third movie in the sequel cannot be your favorite one. You can't bring them Lord of the Rings, the third one, and say, this. This is great. And they're like, I haven't seen the first two. You're gonna love this. No, you're not. You have no idea what's going on. That's. That's rip. Wildly Important Casino for you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

If she sat and said, this is stupid. It eight minutes in, like, oh, goodbye. And she won't give it a chance. Like, I understand if she watched the whole thing and she goes, that's just not my thing. Still gonna make me go, we're gonna have some trouble.

[John Holmberg]

I had the little Nikki syndrome.

[Brett]

I remember that. And how did that relationship work? Divorce her? She loved Little Nikki. Yeah. Like, I'm not saying it was her.

[John Holmberg]

Favorite movie, but she loved that movie. And I'm all like, that's a. I should have known right there. Red flag. I mean, I should have.

[Big Dick Toledo]

But instead you ran with it for five years.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Gave it a shot.

[Brett]

He did what you said. Just keep quiet. Right. Try. Maybe she'll come around.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You have to watch it every day.

[John Holmberg]

Until that pile of S came on the tv.

[Brett]

But it's there. But I'll tell you this. Little. Little Nikki likers if you have a girl who's got, like, little Nicky and she gives it two thumbs up, that's like having somebody with genital herpes. It's not there every day, but it's always around.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Watch for the flare up.

[Brett]

Yeah, you gotta watch for the little Nicky flare ups. Because when it comes up, it's gonna remind you, like, oh, whole thing's a mess. Yeah. You got a. You got somebody who says Grown Ups 2 is an awesome movie. You're not changing her mind. She brings you Breaking dawn as her favorite movie at age 26. If she was 14.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Okay. And it was 12 or 15 years ago. Yeah, I got you. Yeah, they're dumb. That's when you 26. And she's still hanging on to Breaking dawn as number one.

[John Holmberg]

There's an exception to every rule, I guess. But this one. This one's tough. The movies are very Important.

[Brett]

Well. And that only lasts until you realize they're also dumb.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If Chuck Powell can't deal with it.

[Brett]

Who of all people, won the war? And Gone with the Wind was a. It broke off an engagement that was gonna happen in, like, 10 minutes. He had planned it. This weekend was gonna end with a romantic gesture, and he cut it off and broke up with a. Because of who won the war. It's like, I can't. I can't spend my life explaining that kind of stuff. That's. That's not manipulation. That's re education. You gotta start over from fourth grade at that point. Go. All right. When there's a Civil War thing going on on tv, she might ask who won. That's too much. That's too much to try to deal with Holmberg's morning sickness. Oh, those movies, though, that's a big one. And it's less about what you have in common and more about what she brings to the table. If her favorite movie's Breaking dawn and yours is Fargo, you probably have a pretty decent gauge on movies and entertainment. She doesn't.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's.

[Brett]

That's number one.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Changed a little bit in this. The younger generations.

[Brett]

How so?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Movies aren't as dumb. Yeah.

[Brett]

All we talk about is how dumb they are. They're hard to entertain. They don't. They've got a low bar. They don't take time for anything.

[John Holmberg]

Did you do the movie questions with Megan when you.

[Brett]

Yeah, she and she. It was a little off putting at first. We said, you know, have that conversation. So what are your favorite movies? And this was 2005, and, like, two months earlier, Anchorman had come out, and her favorite movie of all time was Anchorman. I'm like, no, yeah. Not your favorite movie this summer. Like, what was your favorite movie ever? Anchorman. Oh, my God. Wow. It's the best movie that's ever been made. I'm gonna give it to you because it's very funny and that, you know, you like a laugh. That's a good thing. You just haven't really thought about this, have you? Anchorman, like, all right, we're good shoes.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Wooing you.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. You got. You got. Great. So Anchorman it is. What's your favorite movie? It's Alfred Hitchcock's 1954 classic Rear Window with Jimmy Stewart, Grace Kelly. Amazing movie. Raymond Burr is the neighbor. The unreal. I don't know what that is. That's right. You don't. What's yours again? Anchorman. Okay.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Sean likes his movie Pelo Windows.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. She's an advertising maven. She just. She just picked up. Yeah. Rear Window's amazing. It's a great movie. Great.

[John Holmberg]

Sales is gonna start calling them now.

[Brett]

Yeah, probably. I heard that. But yeah. So if. Whoops. If it became a problem where that was never ending. But I did kind of question, like, you know, like, what's your favorite serious movie? I don't remember what she said. Anchorman. I'm like, no, that's not. She had a couple in there that. I'm like, all right, we're okay. We're okay. Anchorman being number one was scary funny.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I mean, when you're, you know, in this particular case, 37, 26. Yeah, it's kind of funny. Some of the favorite. Like the. Her favorite serious movie.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Could be something that is just, you know, One Tree Hill or.

[Brett]

Yeah. She might have something done that you don't know.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's why that Breaking dawn hit her. Well, because when she saw that.

[Brett]

You're dating.

[Big Dick Toledo]

She's probably 18, right.

[Brett]

You're dumb.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there had to be some great movies that came out since then. I would.

[Brett]

It's not even the best of the Twilight series.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Is that the first one?

[Brett]

No, it's like three. She's dumb, you're dating.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's like Rocky three.

[Brett]

Yeah, exactly. You can't. That's why I said you can't pick Rocky 3 as your favorite movie of even the Rocky series. It can't be. If you would have favorite characters from Rocky Clubbers up there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Brett]

But I mean, there is no Clubber Lang. I don't know how we always end up on this. There's no Clubber Lang without Apollo Creed. Yeah. If you didn't. If Apollo wasn't there, you wouldn't understand why Clubber's even a thing. Thing. Like just some angry black man that hates Rocky. It was built by Rocky, the great white hope, stealing away the title. So now Clubber shows up to avenge what is rightfully his. He's a great character, but you can't have those talks with somebody who asks who won the war. Gone with the win. That's it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You just can't.

[Brett]

You can't even have Rocky talks.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Notebook.

[Brett]

The Notebook's a girl movie that no man understands.

[Big Dick Toledo]

But I think we understand why the girl.

[Brett]

Yeah, I think we give them a. I think we give them a little pass on that because it is thought out. It's like. It's not a dummies movie. It's just way too over romanticized for most male brains to Sit back and, like, understand. And God forbid you watch Notebook for real and. And tell the girl what a. You know, like there's a whole thing, like, she spent her whole life with a guy lying. So that's. That's woman movies, though. That's like Sleepless in Seattle. Like, they leave regular dudes.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You allow them that category. That's their deal.

[Brett]

But their. Their. Their movies are all like, I was with the wrong guy the whole time. Time. The whole. The whole thing about the Notebook is about a dude. They reunite later. Like, she was with the wrong guy. Yeah. And then so she goes back right before he dies of Alzheimer's to say, I should have been with you. It's like, that's horrible. There's nothing romantic about like that.

[John Holmberg]

Forrest Gump.

[Brett]

Forrest Gump? Yeah. Jenny's the worst character in movie history. The meanest bitch alive. Used a whenever he was convenient and then dumped the AIDS baby on him. Forrest Gump's horrible. That's. There's nothing about that. That's. That's N to Forest. It's an anti R word movie. It is. Just abuse the R word movie. The luckiest R word in the world, by the way. I mean, he just stumbled into cash like crazy. Then she gets aids, dumps the AIDS baby on him. Now he's got to raise a kid by himself. He takes care of nothing. She's dying of aids. She wouldn't have the time of her life. Comes home, doctors don't know what it is I got. I got rammed so often by the Black Panthers and stuff. You were there at that one party I was at.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Still taking.

[Brett]

Just taking it constant. I had a baby. This one's yours. Remember when I let you roll around on me because I was a whore and I banged an R word. I do. That was fun. Yeah. Anyway, this. This came out of me afterwards. This little std. He's good. I've got the aids, though. I'm gonna lay in your bed until I die, and you're gonna pay for it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Kid's gonna be a film star.

[Brett]

Yeah. Whatever it was. Is he. Yeah, he's totally. And she says it to me. He's smart in the head. And she even says, yeah, no, he's not like you. He's not a retard. Can we go upstairs and do that thing again? Sorry, Forrest. Those days are over. If you want your dick not to fall off, you better stay away from me. I'm Jenny with aids. I wish it was a bird. A bird. Fly far, far away from here and get the aids. And she did. And we all went, oh, my God, what a beautiful love story. Like, no, it's not. She abused a rich mentally challenged man at every turn, every turn, whenever her life fell apart. Let me go find that rich retard. He'll help me out. All I gotta do is occasionally roll over on it. Takes two seconds.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Made him sit through everyone.

[Brett]

Florist. There's a roommate in there.

[John Holmberg]

They use her towel too.

[Brett]

That's the worst part. They do.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

There's a hundred percent. He hits the 2 meter hole like Luke Skywalker. Puts the biscuit in the basket. She disappears, comes back with a seven year old. Are you out of your mind?

[John Holmberg]

Like shooting lump rats back home.

[Brett]

Forrest Gump would have been a good movie if it ended with, you need to leave, bitch. Totally. I don't want to see you ever again. Jenny, you got aids. And then just credits roll. They're like, what the hell did I just watch?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Stupid is gone.

[Brett]

Jenny come back with the aids. I kicked her out the house. Mama would have never let AIDS Jenny in. They never say aids, but you have to be an idiot not to know that she describes aids. When she comes back, it's an AIDS movie. She came back with two STDs. Little Forrest and AIDS. You need to take your bumpy ass out of my house. I'd rather Bubba's dead body than you, Forrest. I thought we were. You used me. Cause I'm special. That movie's awful. Now maybe that's a good red flag one. Let her show her Forrest Gump and see if she's like, that was romantic. Like, get this out of the house.

[John Holmberg]

You know what you're in for.

[Brett]

Yeah, but if you got. If you got a look, if you've got somebody who's consistently like you, find out how deep it goes. But if your favorite movie is one of the the Twilights, I don't. I think you're already pre built to. Not really. Oof. That's a tough one. Tyler said. Never thought of it that way. I think Jenny just won s heel of the year. Yeah. Yes. Watch that movie again with Jenny as a bad guy, as like a Batman villain, and you will see Forrest Gump in a different light. Same way I always say about It's a Wonderful Life. I had to explain that to your mom. That's about a narcissistic asshole who thinks that if he died, the whole place would fall apart without him. He's a delusional lunatic who has suicidal ideations and then starts to hallucinate that an angel says, you're so important that my friend had that and they put him in the loony bin. He thought he was the catalyst for why the world worked. His brain went nuts and he started to see people and have schizophrenic delusions that were telling. Giving these delusions of grandeur that the earth's on its axis only because of you. You. It's the same thing. That's what It's a Wonderful Life is all about. A guy who's so delusional and into himself that he thinks if he wasn't there, the world would fall apart. He goes on this drug trip through, you know, Pottersville because without him, everybody's like, his mom was a. That movie is such. It's a Christmas classic. But when Jimmy Stewart leaves and comes back and sees his mom, she's running a whore house. Why? Because Jimmy Stewart wasn't born. Do you think, Brady, that if you weren't born, your mother would be a. Course not. You're not that important. She'd have been just fine. So if you look at it through Forrest Gump's eyes, John. Or if you look at force Gump through Jenny's eyes, he shows three times in her life prematurely ejaculates. Once in the dorm. Check that. Kicks her boyfriend's ass at the Black Panther party. True. And gets her pregnant. Those are the three times they interact. Pretty effed up. That is true. That is very true. The only time he shows up in her life, bangs her a little quick, she gives him a handy, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was a handy.

[Brett]

And then beats up a Black Panther and then knocks her up and leaves. So I guess there is truth to that. He does chase her around. He's a little stalkerish, I guess if.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I. I guess there's a lot of time in between there.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. You know, I never thought of it that way.

[Brett]

You want to change the perspect perspective of it? Through Jenny's eyes, she's got this retarded stalker that every once in a while she's got to beat off to get him away from her. That's an interesting take. And it's true. This nut bag's running all over the world. And then every once in a while he shows up over romanticizes their childhood relationship. What a fool. Believes she's like, ah, she's doing her own thing. The in my window again. Jerk him off, maybe he'll go away. And she does. Wow. Nobody in Forrest Gump was any good anyway. Good luck to you, Jeremy. But yeah, if she's if she likes Superman too much or if she just doesn't get it or complains about it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

They saw it last night, curious to see what.

[Brett]

What happened, what you did.

[Big Dick Toledo]

No. Didn't they say they were going, oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. He said. Yeah, he did say yesterday, going it this afternoon. Holg's morning sickness. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But do you base it on this new Superman movie? That's part of the issue, too.

[Brett]

It depends on how she reacts to it. Superman can't have too much of reaction. It should just basically be a movie that's dumb, fun, and everybody leaves and goes, that was all right. Or it's so bad you can laugh and hate talk about it after, afterwards. But if somebody is. And you'll learn if she's got a decent opinion or if she's got thoughts that work in her head or if she just goes, that was good. That was bad. Then you got adult on your head. Movies are important.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I had a friend, they saw it last night, and he. He's like, it was really good.

[Brett]

Okay, well, I'll. I'll judge a whole friendship off of that. If somebody tells me a terrible. Yeah, that's what I always wonder. And I even asked Brady when he told me that Billy Sutton's like, Is Billy a good gauge of movies? There are certain people that come out.

[Big Dick Toledo]

With, like, pretty good for the most part. Like, I agree with what he's.

[John Holmberg]

Does he like Fast and Furious seven or eight or something? I mean, I don't know about that.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I don't think so.

[Brett]

There's a lot of people that have come out of the gates talking about how great a movie is, and if they hit me two times with movies that suck, that are great, I kind of think less of them. Like, it just. It's just a. It's a connection thing. It might not be, you know, just not for me.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it's one thing if special effects were made, Amazing story kind of sucked, but, you know.

[Brett]

Yeah. And the reason we all know that, that may sound crass and rude, but it's true, is that if you met a girl and her favorite movie of all time was Dude, Where's My Car? You'd immediately think less of her.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

So it does matter. And you're not going to try to nurture out of that. Like, that's one that you're like, she's far gone. I'm pumping this and I'm getting out of here before she fires up. Because you realize you're not always going to be having fun with her sexy body. Sometimes you're going to have to sit on the couch and figure out what there is to watch. And if she's like, dude, where's my car? And that's part of your future, you're in trouble. This one says, my wife asked during the attack in Pearl harbor if that bad movie we ever got the Japanese back.

[John Holmberg]

Married a smoke show.

[Brett]

I love you again. Not forever though. Always remember that their asses don't stay like that. But their movie tastes are always going to be curious about whether or not we got the Japanese back. And that's the scary thing about a hot chick who doesn't develop a personality. She's leaning on how good she looks. Eventually she's going to have to know stuff to be interesting or she's going to be alone. Yeah. And this one brings up thing I always tell her, Same as Karate Kid. Daniel's the real bad guy. Yeah, Daniel is a jerk. Tries to steal a guy's girlfriend constantly. Johnny's trying to say, please, I don't want to fight. I don't want to do this. I'm not. I'm trying to get on the straight and narrow. Daniel keeps egging him on. Goes into that thing at Castles coasters as the shower. And he just. He antagonizes Johnny until it's just all he can take. And instead of fighting him, he says, let's go, we'll do it. We'll do it in a controlled setting instead of just fighting on the beach. Johnny loses it once on the beach when he goes over and starts messing with his ex girlfriend. Breaks the boombox. But he was told, hey, that's my girl. And the girl's like, no, we're going through a thing. And the dude should have been a decent human being and not rubbed it in his face that he was trying to be the next dude in At Elizabeth Shoe. Yeah, Daniel is the bad guy and the Karate Kid. When you watch it again and Miyagi's a pedophile, he's a groomer. Would never happen. Got away with it multiple times. Every time he moved, he found some new kid in the apartment complex he started to take to the beach and dance with.

[John Holmberg]

There are those movies that have the, you know, the other. The alternate meaning, I guess kind of like that, you know, it's not supposed to be, but that's the way it turns out. They say the Top Gun is the gay thing.

[Brett]

Yeah, I mean homosexuals movie.

[John Holmberg]

Tom Cruise is actually gay in the movie.

[Brett]

You can ride my tail anytime. Yeah, that's how it ends. He chooses gay. And he made the right choice. He did.

[John Holmberg]

Look at Kelly McGillis.

[Brett]

Now look what happened. Look what happened. Had he stuck taking Val Kilmer, too? At that point? I'd take the late Val Kilmer. Had he stuck with Kelly McGillis or Val Kilmer? If I'd have told you, I give you a time machine and show you a picture of both of those two people two years ago, and then we go back in time and then say, which one would you choose? Kelly McGillis. Or that knowing what you know now, it's like, oh, I'd be gay with Val Kilmer all day. I'd nurse him through his cancer all the way through. I'm not gonna. Kelly McGillis ballooned. I saw Kelly McGillis last October. I couldn't believe what I'd seen.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I'm like, that's not her.

[Brett]

Well, no. And I did realize it. I was a little tough because it was at the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta. So she was one of. And I'm like, which one is she? I can't quite. She's blending in.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Even when she glowed, she didn't look.

[Brett]

No, it wasn't the Night Go. I didn't watch the Night Go. Just. They're trying to get her off the ground, but it was over 80, so she couldn't. She wasn't going up.

[John Holmberg]

Even Bridget Fonda. Have you seen her?

[Brett]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

From Jackie Brown to that.

[Brett]

Unbelievable. Yeah. It's crazy. It's nuts. Yeah. Somebody just emailed in and goes, oh, my God. Jenny was the victim in Forrest Gump. I've never seen it. The first interaction as adults. They were both in college. She was on a date with another guy, and while they were making out in the car, Forest ran to the car and yanked open the door and started to assault the man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I've never looked at it from Jenny's perspective because I've always hated Jenny so much. Maybe I'll go back and watch Forrest Gump this weekend as a Jenny fan and see how creepy and gross Forrest is. That's right. She's in the car.

[Big Dick Toledo]

But wasn't he being aggressive or. No, I can't.

[Brett]

Well, that.

[John Holmberg]

From what forest is he protecting?

[Brett]

Was.

[John Holmberg]

Or was she all about it, a.

[Brett]

Role playing and it's the 60s. She had no rights. Maybe he was being aggressive. She was asking for it. It was the Johnson administration. Lady gets in the back seat. Lady gets what she gets. It's the 60s, baby.

[John Holmberg]

The girl said she. Her favorite movie was Dude, Where's My Car? I would propose to her on the spot.

[Brett]

Fifteen years from now, you're gonna regret that. When you're giving half to a girl who love. Dude wears my car. And her fat ass and her sweats in the courtroom is just gonna make you mad. Yeah, girl. The girl in the 60s gets in the back seat. You can do whatever you want in the 60s. That's where the love making happened. That's where babies were made. That's where it used to be, man. Man, Jenny was begging for it. Forest goes in there. Captain Saho, he's a sea blocker.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You find out later on in the movie she spent more time in the back.

[Brett]

Of course she got the AIDS. All the girl did was party through the 70s. That's it. She was a hippie and then she was a drug addict. She was a drug addict. I'm going to have a hard time watching in Jenny's favor because I've got such a predetermined belief that Jenny was the worst movie character in the history of movies. Worse than Darth Vader, even. At least Darth Vader had a turn in the middle. He's like, I know what I'm doing is wrong. I get the end. When they peeled his mask, he found love and I was wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he went off for a pack of smokes years ago and then showed up at Trinity.

[Brett]

Weird about him. He left and then turned into a black guy. Yeah. I'll be right back. He came back and like, I. I really fully embraced this whole look, I am your father. And then they peeled the mask off and he's like, ah. Everything I did. I'm so sorry. Terrible.

[John Holmberg]

Travis just wrote him, man. My wife of 10 years favorite movie is Dudes. My. Where's my Car? Is it true that's what he said? Yeah. That's his wife's favorite movie. And they've been married 10 years.

[Brett]

She's kept it together for 10 years. Enjoy the next five because you don't.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Watch it all the time.

[Brett]

Time. You're going to want to sell her to Doug Hopkins as is pretty soon. Dude, where's my car? Girl doesn't age well a boy. She looked good when she told you. Dude, where's my Car? Is my favorite movie, I'll tell you that. 7:26. What do you got on the big board of musical treats? Good luck. Jeremy and his girlfriend of dumb Wake.

[John Holmberg]

Up song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Getting those bikes ready for the bike parks this season. You want to head up to Angel Fire, whatever. But you got to get the gear too. And Action Ride Shop has it all in stock. Full face helmets, all the pads you're going to need. Get the bike tuned up before you go. At two locations right there on Power Road and McDowell. The brand new location or the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern. Best wrenches in town. It's action ride shop.

[Brett]

Actionrideshop.com Michael has an interesting take on Forrest Gun. Because I always thought Forrest loved Jenny because she did anal scene. Was that. I mean, it's. It's assumed 70s, AIDS and all that stuff that couldn't have been. She was a drug addict too. But I would assume with Jenny's lifestyle, she dabbled in the back.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, she was probably in some black to dot com videos.

[Brett]

Oh, sure, you know, some old Beta tape.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean, she was hanging out with the Panthers and everything. Nothing but dudes in that room.

[Brett]

I mean, the Panthers let her in. Yeah, they're not gonna let some white lady in there just to make cookies.

[John Holmberg]

And she was in the normal shape that they like too. So, you know.

[Brett]

Well, I think back in the 70s that was different. Oh, really? I think they're like those skinny whites back then. Somewhere around 2006 that changed. Look at the Mod Squad, man. Some good stuff there. That lady was narrow. Yeah, I don't know. We're gonna need a black guy when he wakes up to email us and tell us.

[John Holmberg]

Well, email Sean Knight because he'll be on that time.

[Brett]

Listen to the. When you're listening to the podcast, don't be afraid to emus. We'll get to it. But tell us. Tell us when that changed. When did the. Maybe it's always been, but I don't think so that the thick white woman was the. The prize. I think that was right after Paris Hilton kind of bored us to tears for that video and they changed up everything had to be. Anyway, sorry, I digress.

[John Holmberg]

All right, on the list, Lamb of God, bullet for my Valentine filter and crystal meth for our conversation earlier trip like I do the who the DG's tragedy for the Russian diplomat you left in the middle of the road yesterday. Metallic in our Ramstein tool velvet revolver Soil the Doobie Brothers, what a Fool Believes for Forest Gump. And in this moment, horror for Jenny.

[Brett]

Let's go within this moment's horror. Jenny. Anytime I can change people's minds about It's a Wonderful Life and Forrest Gump, I will do it. I'll have that conversation with you all day. You all watched the Shiny Easy movie and you didn't use your brains. You Got lost in the funny, wacky ping pong side of the story, not realizing that Jenny was out out there while that was going. I want to see the Ginny movie, like, while Forrest is off in China winning ping pong tournaments.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Spin off.

[Brett]

Let's go find out what Jenny was up to. And it'll just be her. Just dive into that life under Black Panthers and Studio 54. And yeah, she was a war gets the AIDS comes back. But that is true, though, from Jenny's perspective. But he kept coming back, so it wasn't like he. He was a. He's a bit of a stalker, but he was also an R word. So got to give him a little bit of a, you know, a gap of get a little. Some grape, you know, just walk him back to his house and where was his mother and all this. She was taking him back to Sally Field and said, hey, this one got loose again. Put him back in his cage or whatever you care for. That worked? Yeah. Horror by end of this moment. I haven't heard this for a while. This is a good one. This is one of those solid ones you're pretty happy with. You got it? Ready? Yeah. All right, here we go. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. You PT.