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Brett Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?
Byron from MMP Guns
The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9 millimeter hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.
Brett Holmberg
Well it sound MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.
Byron from MMP Guns
That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com.
Larry McFeely
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John Holmberg
Good morning everybody.
Brady
Hello there. Welcome to the Morning Sickness. How are you? It's Monday. It's 5:45. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Big Dick Toledo. My name's John. Hopefully you had a lovely weekend. Everything is great. I had a an odd start to the day all the way around. Boys. Got an owl the size of a monkey that's sitting on the back of my on the power lines there. That doesn't look surreal. This thing is your size, Brady. He's not small. This is a big ass owl. Got the Kestrels going. I got this owl and my dog Jack Ham no fan of this owl. And for some reason Jack Hamm can see this owl from any room in the house at any given time. Without windows or anything else. No provocation. Nothing. The owl will get Jack's attention simply by being. And he's always right and he flips the F out. So about 2 in the morning a couple of morons with pool cues wandering around the backyard wondering what the hell's going on and saw this Brady sitting on a wire.
John Holmberg
What's up Hoot?
Brady
Hoot Like Jesus, Woodsy, get off my. This thing is huge. Hey, bro.
Big Dick Toledo
No pigeons, Freddie.
Brady
I know. It was a very. Your brain plays tricks on you. Later. He's very easy. He got rid of your pigeon problem. How's that wife? You want me to cart her away or what do you got? Your brain plays tricks on you when you're middle of the night and stuff. But I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be accurate when I state that this owl has a 44 and a half foot wingspan. It takes up.
Big Dick Toledo
What kind is it?
Brady
A condor owl? It's a pterodact. O is the biggest goddamn thing I've ever seen.
Brett Holmberg
Jurassic park over there now or what?
Brady
It's happening. Yeah, well, like. Yeah. I just read an article this Colossal.
Big Dick Toledo
Science released one of their.
Brady
They got rid of dire wolves and they're asking now do dodo birds. And I think the first one is on a wire in my backyard. But Jack can see that thing, I swear to God, no matter what, so. And it's not afraid of pool cues, by the way.
Big Dick Toledo
Or a dog just turns his head, looks at him. What are you trying to do?
Brady
It did it down at the dog. Like, can you fly? Because if not, just this is a waste of time for everybody. He literally almost like said it. You can't fly and you're not going to climb that wall. So just go to bed. I'm not doing anything to you. He lost his cork anyway.
Big Dick Toledo
Just start throwing Tootsie Pops at him.
Brady
I thought about that and he. He.
Brett Holmberg
1, 2, 3.
Brady
And he said, I threw a small infant at him and he crushed the skull. Three licks, by the way. Same thing.
Brett Holmberg
What's going on with your neighborhood over there, man?
Brady
There goes the neighborhood, the birds. I rather live in Maryville right now. No, the birds are afraid. All the gunshots keep the birds away in Maryville. Maybe we need a little more gun play in my hood.
Big Dick Toledo
Your yard is like watching that Pee Wee Herman documentary. Guys got bobcats, coyotes.
Brady
He had wildlife everywhere. But it was. Yeah, just real quick, just pool cue, quickest thing in your hand. Also learned something that you know, got guns. Didn't want to break out the guns.
Big Dick Toledo
In the back of your mind that. That documentary of the guy that killed his wife or the owl is always in your mind.
Brady
Always. First off, for the little dogs I've got in their dog run, there's another run that's encased. It's a coyote run for nighttime because you get coyotes nearby and the older dog, Gordon and Frankie are not. They don't hear so well anymore. They're like 14, 15 years old, so they're not hearing so great. They're fine. They're spry, but they'll wander around. Not. No. So at night. Coyotes, I want. So they're in a cage, basically. It's pretty big at night, so they can go out and poop and pee and then come back into the room. But for the most part, the owl thing, they couldn't get them because they're like £15, but he could F them up. Like an owl's talons could rip into your skull.
Big Dick Toledo
You don't want to see it. Attempt made.
Brady
And the more I watch that, you know or know about that staircase documentary, the more I think to myself, God damn things, doing it again.
Brett Holmberg
I thought that was gonna be fixed.
Brady
Well, no, we'll get to that. We'll get on here. Okay.
Big Dick Toledo
I gotta wait until someone comes back from Cambodia.
Brady
Yeah, there's a guy in Cambodia who has to watch that get fixed.
Brett Holmberg
He stuck at customs.
Brady
We got people to fix it. Jesus Christ. But if I touch this thing, it stops working completely. It drives me nuts. And in my headphones, it's even worse. But, yeah, I said, can we get that fixed? And Mike, the IT guy's like, I'd love to, but I can't until the end. Dave comes back from Cambodia because he wants to watch. Like, what is he. He cucks electronics? Just fix the goddamn.
Brett Holmberg
Was he Brando and Apocalypse now or something, or. What is this?
John Holmberg
I can't get enough of looking at your work, Mike.
Brady
Anyway, the more I watch that staircase or learn about it, the more I'm like, the owl did it. That poor dude went to jail. Back and forth to jail for, like, years on years on years. And then, you know, the neighbor that had his head almost ripped off by an owl's talon? And then the. It all works. It's all the same. That owl did it. So I do think of that. And this owl, it's changed a little bit. Huge.
Big Dick Toledo
Me, too, because we have, you know, our mini schnauzer now.
Brady
Yeah.
Big Dick Toledo
Ziggy.
Brady
How fat. What is the weight?
Big Dick Toledo
He's probably 13 pounds.
Brady
Might try to pick it up and fail, but that's worse.
Big Dick Toledo
He's a yapper.
Brady
They'll just rip. Oh, that helps a little.
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
But, yeah, they'll rip the. They'll. They'll triangulate the skin right off of their backs. So, yeah, owls are. Owls are. And, you know, I was gonna throw rocks, but, hey, what are you gonna do? There's an owl Jack doesn't even hear it. Jack just has owl senses he's out. He's like, autistic. It's. It's pretty awesome to watch. Anyway, got that going on. Then I hop in the car and come here. Driving along and bing. My check engine light comes on. And that should be. Look, it's a 2012 Jeep. I take really good care of it. But, you know, it's 14 miles. It's 111,000 miles on it. I've done it. And then every once in a while, it does it after. After the warranty's up, the little engine light should just turn dollar signs. Because that's all you think when you see it, when you're. Oh, crap. Just a little dollar sign should pop up on the BO Here. Oh, great. So I. I took it over to Bill Luke before I even came here this morning. I ran it down to the Jeep, and I'm like, hey, can I get this fixed? I'm like, yeah, we'd love to, but one of our mechanics is on vacation. He really likes to watch. And I'm like, oh, is that how all things work? Poor Mike. He. He's not allowed to do anything without his boss in town, and he had to call him, hey, there's a problem with the KUPD board, and John would like that thing fixed. And hopefully they're saying he's being really cool about it because it's been a week or so since this thing, and I don't know if it's gonna start. I have to make adjustments. Tell him to wait till I fly back. I can't imagine that getting fixed without me.
Big Dick Toledo
I'll get that in the phone lines after masturbating.
Brady
I gotta masturbate to that. I gotta watch it. Pull that and push one in. Oh.
Brett Holmberg
Where'S that sound.
Brady
I did get that email from. First email I get this morning, 5:39am I got a case of the Monday Blues. Boys, could you please play me some poop sounds from Friday's show? Yeah, you know what? That might not be a bad idea to just start the whole day with a little prolapse audio. We're back. Jesus, it's worse than I remember. That's terrible. Anyway, what are you gonna do? So I got kestrels. I'm not allowed to kill them. I got woodpeckers. I'm not allowed to kill them.
Brett Holmberg
How's your woodpecker situation, by the way?
Brady
There's feathers in the backyard. And I believe Al, who wasn't supposed to go in the backyard on Thursday did. And there was a woodpecker in the trash.
Brett Holmberg
You gotta get that done.
Brady
I agree. Yeah. Come on. I think it was one of those.
John Holmberg
Will you please not go in the backyard? There's rogue woodpeckers.
Brady
Yes, ma'. Am. Crazy bitch doesn't want us going the backyard. We're gonna go back there anyway. Killer. And I haven't seen a woodpecker since. But I did see the very distinct woodpecker feathers. They look like the end of a cool dart. They're black and white. They're really neat. I actually wanted to pick one up, but I'm like, they probably have lice. I learned that when I was a kid. Lice? All birds have lice. That's what I was told. That my grandma convinced me that all gays were trying to kill me. And all birds have lice. So, you know. So you're a kid. You don't pick up birds that are hurt or whatever. My grandma. Well, you gotta remember my grandma was from back in the early 1900s when they didn't have anything. And, like. And that by that I mean sanitation or disinfectant or anything else. So anybody who played with a bird dropped dead in, like, two days. Because whatever it had, the kid got.
Big Dick Toledo
So it's high risk anyway for a woodpecker to nest amongst kestrels and owls.
Brady
I agree. Sure. And the owls and the kestrels have gotten together. This goddamn thing. So I've got a bunch of animals in my backyard I'm not allowed to kill. I can poke them with a pool stick, though. They'll be sorry. Fly over me. I think that thing would perch on it and start it. It's. I'm just gonna name it Brady. I'm just gonna say. There's Brady again.
John Holmberg
Hoot. Hoot. Hoot, Hoot. Whoops.
Brady
So he's back there doing what he does.
Big Dick Toledo
You need to build an entrance to your whole neighborhood. That whole cul de sac. And there in the tote Raptor acres.
Brady
Oh, it's getting there. Yeah. Might as well just make it a. What do they call a repair area or whatever. Yeah. Repairing. I just have them all back there and charge admission. This Al does not care. He. He is a. I don't give a owl like, noise rocks. Hooting back. The fake owl I have on top of my house. He's looking at that. Like, I'm gonna make that my. Like and that. And the fake owl is big. He's like four of them. He would. He's got to know that even though he's like, I know it's fake, but they do. Because I'm dumb. I'm a bird. I don't know for sure what that, but he's got to look at that and go, I would make mince meat of that little thing. I got to get a, like a fake owl the size of one of those, you know, like a fair at food City, they give away those giant teddy bears. Like one of those things with an owl's head.
Big Dick Toledo
Buy a woodsy's outfit.
Brady
Just stand in the backyard is woodsy. It was a shotgun.
Brett Holmberg
Please take a video of that.
Brady
And even still, I think this, this owl would be like, challenge accepted. Like, I'm going in big ass owl is what I'm saying. Brady the owl.
John Holmberg
Hoot. Hoot.
Brady
It's big. All words. Morning sickness.
John Holmberg
Hear the words you say sometimes.
Larry McFeely
I mean, who talks like that?
Brady
98 PD it's Larry McFeely.
Jordan
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Brady
Holmberg's Morning sickness.
Big Dick Toledo
It's weird shining the because we have two that rotate in our neighborhood. And when you put the flashlight torch up in the tree, there they are. They just look at it.
Brady
They stare at it. I read that online. You're supposed to hit them with light. They don't like that bad. Yes, they do. They seem to, like, enjoy it. Like he just stares into the light. Like everything you're not supposed to do. I've heard that. Little red laser pointers. And their eyes will bug them. Who's gonna dig? Who's digging that out of the junk drawer?
Big Dick Toledo
Once or twice you, you. You torch it. But I'm, you know, I've got torture to look at you. There it is.
Brady
My dude didn't care.
Brett Holmberg
You need to get one of them flamethrowers from MMP guns and quit screwing around.
Brady
Make it done like a roast. Yes, that's exactly right. Brett's right. And you know what? And people will email and Go. You know, you get fined by that. Good, then. It was a super expensive steak. 44. Owl. I will eat it and I will enjoy it. And it'll plop down in my backyard burning up. And then I'll pluck those burned up feathers, punch it in the mouth, and make some sort of alb stew out of it. I'm sure my dad knows how to do that. Just take it to steak 44, prep this up. Whatever those spices you put on your steaks, that's good stuff.
Brett Holmberg
Butcher's owl.
Brady
The butcher's owl. Oh, baby. Yeah. Just get somebody to help me out. And just not a lot of meat on an owl. Like, make some owl wings. I want to try them out.
Big Dick Toledo
It's a baseball cat.
Brady
Yeah. Put some sauce on it and give me some of that flank. Owl.
Brett Holmberg
Every dad sent High Yellow down here.
Brady
He'll take care of this thing. I got that. So he'd climb that pole and go grab you out and just grab it by hand. High Yellow is becoming like William Wallace. I've never met him, but every story I hear, hi Yellow picked up a donkey and threw it at the neighbors.
Big Dick Toledo
I'm like, what a giant of a man.
Brady
400 pound donkey picked up. And that's the first. The first story I ever heard about High Yellow. For those who are just tuning in, my dad has a farmhand named hi Yella. Yeah, I know. Me too. I said it too. You know that's a slur, right? Yeah, I know, I know. We already determined that my dad and High Yellow don't care because that's how he introduces himself to people names. High Yellow, ma'. Am. His hat over his chest. It's very weird. Stories are legendary. But evidently at one point, he picked up a 400 pound donkey and carried it somewhere. My dad picked up a 400 pound donkey and put it in the back of a truck.
Big Dick Toledo
Jesus.
Brady
I know. And I'm like, that's. You got to exaggerate the weight. And I looked it up. Like Most donkeys are three or four hundred pounds. I'm like, either way. 300 pound deadlift. He got it in there at 70 something years old. It was dying. It was his donkey. And when he put it in the back of the truck and he stayed out there so coyotes didn't eat it. Like, wow. But High Yellow can lift them and like pitch him.
Brett Holmberg
He sounds like Mongo from Blazing Saddles. Punches a donkey in the face.
Brady
And pretty much I picture rides in.
Big Dick Toledo
On a Brahma bull.
Brady
Yeah. And High yellow is like 70 also.
Brett Holmberg
Oh, really?
Brady
Yeah, he's not young.
Brett Holmberg
Oh, man.
Brady
My dad and hi Yellow. Wandering around the high plains of Texas just lifting donkeys. That was. You know, I used to ask my dad, what are you gonna do when you're retired? I don't know. Donkey lifting was never on the list, but it's there. Maybe I'll go out there with a half black guy in Texas and just start chucking donkeys all over the land. I'm like, that's an interesting idea, but sure, go get him. And that's what he's doing. He and I, yellow, build stuff together. And it's pretty neat. I want to go out there. It's just too far away. There's, you know, there's five or six pagodas out there. Oh, the stuff they built for the horses.
Big Dick Toledo
The red ones he built in your place.
Brady
And all those terrible Chinese whatever that thing was in our backyard.
Brett Holmberg
Got them all over your pergola or whatever.
Brady
He is now better at building stuff because he sent a. Hyella has learned him how to. How to build some glorious barn stuff like these. The stables they built for the horses. Oh, my. I'm like, hi, Ellen. I did that this week. What? Yeah, I put out the. I kind of drew what I wanted, and this was what. It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. It looks like he made it. A Lincoln Logs. Hyella knocked it out. And I'm guessing Hyella just like, isn't that a giant tree, Ms. Holmberg? And my dad would cut the tree up. Go, go. Pull down another tree by its roots. Hi, Ella. We're one short.
John Holmberg
What's that singing going on?
Brady
Gotta talk that barge Lift that beer. Here you go, Mr. Holmberg. Great work, Ayala. I bet you could use some lemonade. Sure could, sir. Let's go get us some. My dad used to do that to me. I was high yellow up until I was about 19. My dad used. That was my dad's patented work phrase. I bet you could use a drink. Yeah, I'm pretty thirsty. Why don't you go get us some? Oh, that was your way of not doing it. I get it. Okay. Yeah. So you got that for the owls and all that stuff. I do have to say we had a. A morning sickness outing on Friday and we should do that more often. It was quite lucrative. I learned something. When Brady stands behind you to slot machine, he ruins it. It just absolutely ruins it. Mush went from had. But me and Dr. Jordan, disgraced Dr. Jordan, who happened to be at the casino with us. We had our Dinner. And then we met with disgraced Dr. Jordan, and boom. Disgraced Dr. Jordan, who was just. He's at the casino and happened to be there. We run into him and boom, boom. And then I hit one. I got a $8,600 thing. Jordan's got a couple of big ones. And we're sitting there cheering and yelling, getting paid.
John Holmberg
Woo hoo.
Brady
Brady comes by.
John Holmberg
ATM won't even pay me.
Brady
It's the only machine that's a guarantee in that building. And he said. He said that. And then I watched all three of those machines, which wouldn't. And then Brady stood there, all of it gone. All the winnings were gone. And then you walked away. And as I looked and saw your back waddle away like the end of a, you know, Incredible Hulk episode where there was just the sad music of a guy who can't get money out of an ATM. $7,200. I'm like, well, at least I got it back, Brady. Freddie disappeared, and I got most of that back. And Jordan goes, man, ice cold. Like, I know he's. He's bringing the terrible juju. Even Toledo won. Did you walk with anything?
Brett Holmberg
I think I was down. I was doing okay for a minute, and then I was down. Probably like 300 at the end, but it was fantastic.
Brady
Cash everywhere. All mine. Nobody gets it. Mine, mine, mine. You may think you're gonna get it from me, but you're wrong. It's mine.
Big Dick Toledo
That doesn't include the four hits I saw you guys make.
Brady
We're talking about. Oh, we had a lot. No, you didn't. You weren't there for the good. You. You literally saw you. Okay? You literally showed up and watched us get paid. We had already hit him when you showed up, I swear to God. Ice cold. Not a. Not a win, not a cherry. Watched you walk away, and we looked at each other and like, was this.
Brett Holmberg
The theme song that was playing?
Brady
You walked away. Yeah.
John Holmberg
ATM won't even pay me. This place is brutal. I should probably take my. Take myself somewhere else.
Big Dick Toledo
Take my. To go back somewhere else.
Brett Holmberg
You're your creamed corn.
Brady
That's another thing about you. When did you start using your fork for the community food? When did that happen? When did you become eight?
Big Dick Toledo
I thought you were taking your portion out of that.
Brady
It was for everybody.
Big Dick Toledo
No, no, I didn't touch it when.
Brett Holmberg
I saw him digging in.
Brady
I didn't touch it. What did you just say when you saw him digging in? He might have wanted something.
Big Dick Toledo
I thought he ordered what he wanted.
Brett Holmberg
No, no, I saw the pitchfork come like I'm out.
Brady
They're called sides for the table.
Big Dick Toledo
I thought we just were in the side. Cuz no one else wanted any of that.
Brady
Of course not. Your dirty, you know, sleep mattress. How do you sleep at night?
John Holmberg
Just fine. On a sleep mattress.
Brady
Mattress.
John Holmberg
And I sleep all night long.
Brady
Just went. And I had to say it. I'm like, are you using your gross. And even still. You thought my one scoop was. The rest was yours.
John Holmberg
No. Yes, you did.
Big Dick Toledo
I didn't think that was one scoop out of there.
Brady
The first, it wasn't half and it certainly was like a quarter. I took my quarter. Assuming the other boys might want some of the sides as well. I asked for a separate plate. To be a decent human being, you deserved the bad luck that night.
John Holmberg
I should probably go reach over onto someone else's plate. Take some food.
Big Dick Toledo
I'll finish my salad and.
Brady
And you didn't know that was a salad. Yeah, you know that Brady did not know. He saw that it was a skirt steak on special and he said, I'll have that skirt. You didn't see that it was a salad. Because I said I'll have the salad. You know it's a salad, right? And your face went full. If there were ceiling tiles, you'd have looked at them, huh? It's a salad. It's not just a skirt.
John Holmberg
Hold the lettuce.
Brady
Oh, yeah, that's what we said. Hold the lettuce, ma'. Am. He didn't know. Very lucrative evening. And then. But hopefully. And hopefully none of us get sick from Brady deciding to throw all of his spit forks into our food.
Brett Holmberg
Did you stop at five guys on the way home or anything? Because I mean, that salad wasn't gonna cut it.
Brady
And by the way, I know for a fact that you eat the community food off of one thing because you were the first one into the au gratin. Potatoes for everybody. And you went straight with your fork as well. That's where the first.
Big Dick Toledo
No, no, no. You ended up getting both. I didn't go in there. I waited till you were.
Brady
Well, yeah, I deserved some of it. It's not like I was taking from you. I end. Yes, there's no debate. I took some. But how did I do it? I cut it and I put it on a separate plate.
Big Dick Toledo
In my mind, I was planning on splitting it with what?
Brady
And then you might as well have spit on it. I cut it in half and then push the plate to you. I just took a little off the end there. Assuming that maybe Brett or Toledo would Want some? But before they had an opportunity to even ask, your dirty spit fork was already into the community bowl. And when I said, are you using your fork for the community food? You go, yes, proudly. It was no like, oh, is it no one and no thought of the boys. It was a giggle fest. We had a good time, but it was blast. A lot of. A lot of fun. And again, a little hidden gem in this town that nobody knows about. We talk steak 44. We talk ocean. We talk. You know, what's that one out there? Dominic's? Is that what it's called?
Big Dick Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
Even Durant's downtown, which is going to be owned by Stake 44 soon. I'm very excited about. About Choia Steakhouse over in that casino, Arizona. It's not on par with them, but as far as pricing and what you get, it's right there pretty darn good.
Big Dick Toledo
They're also. That group is redoing the chart House.
Brady
Are they? That's great. And they're great. But you can't get out of stake 44 without spending three or four hundred bucks for two people if you're drinking. Yeah, we left there four of us for $300, and we were drinking, which is crazy. It's insane. And their food's inc. It's very good.
Brett Holmberg
Brady was actually drinking, too.
Brady
Yeah, Brady had a pop. Yeah. All said and done, it was great. And we won so much money at the end of the night, and we were playing so much that they came by and they said, did you have dinner tonight at Cholla? Like, we sure did. Did they comp that like, no, I'll be right back. Like, hot diggity. This is how a good company treats their employees. Morning. Sick.
John Holmberg
You hear the words you say sometimes.
Larry McFeely
I mean, who talks like that?
Brady
98K u p d. There's no better.
Jordan
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Brady
Holmberg's morning sickness. And then they came back and he. And he covered the bill. For me, it had been a while since I felt that way, so I was like, God, this is nice. So, yeah, it was really good. So I. It was good. It was a fun night. But, yeah, I've never seen, like, you were indignant about digging your fork into the community food. You didn't even think. Brett didn't ask. You didn't want. You wanted to. You should have had some of that back.
Brett Holmberg
Look good.
Brady
Look good for up until I was selfish.
Brett Holmberg
The corn souffle, too, that none of us got a whole.
Brady
I knew you ordered that for just.
Big Dick Toledo
You're not the only one that forgot about it.
Brady
Would you leave it in your car? But you ordered that just.
Big Dick Toledo
No, no, I took. No, I took it, but I forgot.
Brady
We ordered it because we didn't order. That was your order. But then at the end of the night when the server came over and she goes, oh, you didn't even touch this. Do you want me to box that?
John Holmberg
Yeah, box it up. We're gonna take that home.
Brady
Like, are we gonna take that home? I'm pretty sure we know who is going to take that home.
Brett Holmberg
How was it?
Big Dick Toledo
Could you take it in? Can I take in that iron cauldron? It's in. I just want to take that home, too.
Brady
We were convinced that because you ordered a mistake salad, that when you left, you went to five guys, pulled over, and just dipped a burger into that corn souffle. Like, there's no way you were satisfied with that amount of food full. No, that's why I needed all that community. You ate the rich community food and made sure no one else was getting any of that.
John Holmberg
Let me get in there.
Brady
The indignant nature.
Big Dick Toledo
That's why, you know, I knew I had a salad coming my way, so I went heavier on the sides.
Brady
You didn't know until you ordered it.
John Holmberg
The sides got there after.
Big Dick Toledo
Well, that's what I'm saying. That's why I ordered sides.
Brady
I. I told you, Brady, you ordered the sides.
Big Dick Toledo
I just said the au grat and potatoes in the corn.
Brady
And then I said, anything else? And I saw a wonderful call with the lobster Mac. Lobster Mac and cheese. And I believe I said, lobster Mac. You boys are gonna love this.
Brett Holmberg
I'll bet we would've.
Brady
I should have just said, brady, you're gonna get the majority of that.
Big Dick Toledo
Try it.
Brady
You should go later today without Brady. I didn't realize. Yeah, it's a war. That table becomes a war. The machine gets going, and it's. And his eyes turn black like a shark. Like a doll's Eyes. And it's quick answer. It's like, are you eating that with your regular fork? The community food?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
Oh, all right.
Brett Holmberg
It was like the Gaza strip at that table.
Brady
It was a dividing one. It was a dividing one. Yeah. It was Netanyahu on my end. I don't believe you can do that. Pretty sure you have to put that back.
John Holmberg
Nope.
Big Dick Toledo
I was sending drones out.
Brett Holmberg
Yeah, your fork was a drone.
Brady
Little tiny paraglider went by and stole some of that and brought it to Brady. He's like, oh my God, yes. His face when I asked him, are you?
John Holmberg
Yes.
Brady
Oh, you're all right with it then.
John Holmberg
Why wouldn't I be? They're mine.
Brady
The fact that you thought just because it was on our side of the table that I'd be okay with that. You didn't care. That was yours. It's like what Thomas Wells said. If it was in reach, it belonged to Brady. He would reach over onto your plate. It was going. It was going down. It was fun though. Enjoyed it. And then the creme creme souffle. I don't know what the hell that thing was. You ate that on the way home. You took a couple of bites.
Big Dick Toledo
No. You know what? It's still in the refrigerator.
Brady
You didn't even eat it?
Big Dick Toledo
No.
Brady
Why not? Forgot, I guess. One of us could have had it. But no, Today.
Big Dick Toledo
Today's the day.
Brady
I'm glad. Give us a report. Call Brett and Toledo on a. On a party line and tell them how good that was. And then remind them of the Mac and cheese as well. That next time you guys go, it should be a treat for you. You're getting pricked.
Big Dick Toledo
I doordashed on the next day.
Brady
It was pretty solid. I enjoyed it. So a treat taking you boys out. Brett, Toledo, I'll take you guys out for a make good.
Brett Holmberg
Can we get the lobster Mac and cheese?
Brady
The disposal can't go every day. We'll get you guys out. You know what? Today we'll go over there after all. We'll just get. We'll get the Mac and cheese so you guys can experience that. And you separate plates.
Big Dick Toledo
You'll probably like it.
Brady
Yeah, it was. It was a treat. It was quite a treat. Anyway, next time on the menu, giant cooked Brady sized owl. That's all I care about. I get that owl on that plate and I'll be happy. Thrilled. In fact, completely and utterly thrilled. Just a weekend was like at. Feels like the whole city was just shut down. I think we've hit the middle of summer. I had to go To a Walgreens. And everybody has that look on their face. You know, we had the casino day. Everybody looks like they're done. Like, we're hitting that second half of summer. It's. It has been a pretty good one. But, man, I'm. I was seeing some grouchiness this weekend, and it's not. Everybody's good. I think we're about to have a little moment like, so be careful. No road raging. No. Nothing like that. I think people are at their wits end already.
Big Dick Toledo
Early dog days.
Brady
Yeah. This summer kind of. For some reason. I think it's. I think it's. People are. People are acting a little bit. They're stumbling a little right now.
Brett Holmberg
Nor any done with summer.
Big Dick Toledo
Monsoon on Wednesday.
Brady
And it's been kind of a mild one since I heard. Has not been that bad. But I think it's. I think it's getting to people as I've seen a lot of grouchiness going on. A lot of it. There was a guy at the. At the casino on a Friday. Jordan and I were playing. He comes up and he throws. He's got half a tooth is broken off hats on sideways. It looks like somebody drew him, and he just kind of came to life from a. Like, he just jumped off a train. He might as well had a hobo sack on. And he looks. He goes, you got any. Look, actually, we're doing pretty well. Mind if I take the machine right here by you? Like, no, you're good. Have a seat. And then he goes, well, too rich for my blood. It's like, what I just hit for 27K. Like, oh, my God. Oh, damn. You need to go get your teeth fixed, like, immediately, sir. This is amazing, but I'm not gonna keep doing that. And, like, what the hell? You got 27,000 in your pocket right now, and you're telling strangers. We were considering maybe, you know, he's a train hobo. How hard would have that been to knock down? But, you know, so be careful when you're at those casinos. And I also like that the casino recognizes when you've got money in your pocket because they offer you a walk to the car. But I think of Brett's. People want a little walk to the car. You want us to follow you out to the car? We know you got a lot of cash. I'm like, no, I'll do.
Brett Holmberg
I'll be all right for the effort.
Brady
Yeah, I don't. I don't think I'm gonna do that. That. What's your little corn? Cream. Cream you got that? A little bucket to go. One of them.
Big Dick Toledo
They walked me out.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Hey, can I get an escort to the car? I got gold in my hands.
Brady
Yeah. They offer you a walk to the car?
Big Dick Toledo
It did take me about, I don't know, 15 minutes to find the entrance that I came in. Upkeep, circling. It's like the first time we need to go into the Aria.
Brady
Not knowing the line, trying to find where everything is.
John Holmberg
This is.
Big Dick Toledo
I think this was the door.
Brady
I came in a couple doors, and there's no.
Big Dick Toledo
There's no valet there.
Brady
Well, there's one that isn't.
Big Dick Toledo
There's one that was just all. You know. And so I was out there for about five minutes. Like, where are they?
Brady
Just looking for a guy. Oh, you're at the east. You're on the wrong side. That's all right.
Big Dick Toledo
I did a couple laps. It was good.
Brady
I got a belly full of rich cheese and crab. Your mind wasn't working.
Big Dick Toledo
Some of this lobster Mac.
Brady
You know what? You got your steps in.
Brett Holmberg
I wish I could say the same.
Brady
Brett. Good news is, Brett, you. You've got. You dodged a lot of calories. Brady did it for you.
Brett Holmberg
Oh, thanks.
Brady
He made it so you could. He eats. He's like Jesus of food. He takes. He absolves all of your caloric sins.
Big Dick Toledo
Went by the cholla three or four times. Hey, there it is again.
John Holmberg
There's the choya.
Big Dick Toledo
Great lobster Mac.
John Holmberg
Pop back in there and grab some more lobster Mac.
Brady
That little fork went right over to that plate. What are you doing? What?
John Holmberg
Toledo and Brett don't get any. They're nothing. They're nothing without us.
Brady
You barely got any. I got a couple of scoops, and I was. I was pleased with my quarter. I didn't get a ton. I was getting eyeballed when I scooped it. I'm gonna tell you that, too. I. I felt the police on that.
Brett Holmberg
Stab you with a fork.
John Holmberg
You gonna eat all that?
Brady
No, I'm just gonna take some.
John Holmberg
I better get my community fork in there. Got a little bit of a drooling problem. Let me get back in there.
Brady
It was weird, but you were very. It was war. It was war. I haven't eaten with Brady like that in a while. It was war. Every man for himself at the Brady table.
Brett Holmberg
He's like Putin. He's trying to extend his borders and stuff like that.
Brady
Yeah, the Mac and cheese was Crimea. He got that. Then you looked over at the a gratin potatoes and like. Well, that's our Ukraine. We either stand down or We. We fight back. We fight back. And then that dirty little fork went right into it like, well, that's ruined anyway. That's why you got to remember he eats in storm drains when the food is. So the man will go to a storm drain pie eating contest. There's no way he's thinking about you. But next time through, Brett, you and Toledo today, we'll go over there, we'll do a make good. Sorry, Brady, you can't go. You got too much.
Big Dick Toledo
I understand.
Brady
Yeah. The balance of food power has been Ethiopia over here. And you the rich west.
John Holmberg
My stomach is full of rich foods.
Brady
Meanwhile, Brett's got an iv. I hardly got any.
John Holmberg
I had a salad. What are you talking about?
Brady
I like that you saw skirt steak and did not even see the word salad. There's no way you saw. Because your face when I said, you know, it's a salad.
Big Dick Toledo
Eight ounce.
Brady
Yeah, you even said it.
John Holmberg
Skirt steak on special looks pretty good.
Brady
I looked at him like, where's he seeing that? Because it said huge letters, skirt steak salad.
Brett Holmberg
I know Toledo's whispering meat. There's no way he knows it's a salad.
Brady
No way. And when it showed up, the disappointment.
John Holmberg
Of, ah, it's covered in green garbage.
Big Dick Toledo
What's it sitting on?
Brady
And it's. And it's not as hot as you normally would get a steak. When it's on a salad, it's like, you know, it's not on a hot plate. I was waiting to hear some complaints.
John Holmberg
Steak sucks.
Big Dick Toledo
I made up for it.
John Holmberg
Might as well.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
I'll get back at these guys making fun of me.
Brady
You did not know that was a salad. And your face was hysterical. I'll have the salad as well.
John Holmberg
What are you talking about, salad?
Brady
He ordered a salad.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, I know. I know that. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, the salad with meat on it.
Brett Holmberg
That's why he was drinking. It was the only way he could get himself through that salad.
John Holmberg
You got any heroin love? I'm not gonna get through this.
Brady
But they made up for it with copious amounts of other people's lobster Mac. But thanks to Cholla. That was nice. They knocked that whole thing down. It was really good at Opus One.
Big Dick Toledo
Was delicious.
Brady
Yeah. Hey, you know what? No skin off my back. They comped it. Not at first, but later they did. I went back in there after they did that, and we gave the girl another hundred bucks because it was, like, the right thing to do. But, man, like, four hours later, they gave us a free meal.
Brett Holmberg
Who should order some lobster Mac then?
Brady
Well, that's what Jordan wants. Jordan went back. Was food's free. And Jordan went back and ate by himself. Went, jackass. We went home. Man, that lobster Max sounds good. Now, you guys, you know what Jordan got? I wish. It's a good if he did. There's nothing. The chef came out and looked for you. First goes, it's safe. It's okay. Coast is clear. Yeah, it's a good thing, though, because you'd still be craving it if you had it. Yeah. Only Brady and I know the glories of the lobster, man. You would if you'd still be like, oh, guys, I want to go back and get more at least it's kind of not on your. You never got. You never got a taste, you know?
Brett Holmberg
Never got the fix.
Brady
You never got the fix.
Big Dick Toledo
You're not so good.
Brady
First one's free and then. Then it starts costing you your life. Let's get a wake up song. Oh, by the way, this is a sounds from Brady. And hopefully Caitlyn didn't spend the night on Friday because she'd have heard that all night long with that lobster Mac.
John Holmberg
Oh, God.
Brady
You had to be thinking to yourself too, John.
John Holmberg
Taking my lobster Mac for when I.
Brady
Went in and cut my part. You thought that was yours. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Give us a wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. It's out of control now. 98 KUPD.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 07-14-25 - Huge Owl Has Taken Up Residence At John's House Freaking Out His Dog - We Had An HMS Dinner At Casino Where Mush Brady Put His Fork In Community Sides
Release Date: July 14, 2025
Host/Author: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness hosted by John Holmberg, listeners are treated to a blend of quirky personal anecdotes, community interactions, and humorous escapades. The show delves into the unusual presence of a massive owl near John's residence, disruptive encounters at a local casino dinner, and reflections on the summer's evolving mood in Arizona.
[01:20] John Holmberg:
John kicks off the discussion by sharing an odd sighting—a colossal owl perched on the power lines near his home. This unexpected visitor isn't just a spectacle; it's causing turmoil for his dog, Jack Hamm, who becomes agitated at the mere presence of the owl.
[01:20] Brady:
Brady humorously describes the owl:
"It's a big ass owl. Got the Kestrels going. I got this owl and my dog Jack Ham no fan of this owl."
He quantifies its enormity, claiming a 44.5-foot wingspan, emphasizing its intimidating presence.
[02:26] Brady:
Continuing the conversation, Brady muses about the owl's potential identity, jokingly referring to it as a mix between a condor and a pterodactyl:
"A condor owl? It's a pterodact. O is the biggest goddamn thing I've ever seen."
The trio speculates humorously about the owl's origins and its impact on the neighborhood, blending fictional elements with real-life frustrations over the owl's disruptive behavior.
[14:07] Brady:
Brady introduces listeners to High Yellow, a legendary farmhand known for his incredible strength and larger-than-life stories. He recounts tales of High Yellow lifting 400-pound donkeys, painting him as a mythical figure akin to William Wallace.
[15:05] Big Dick Toledo:
Adding to the lore, Big Dick Toledo describes High Yellow's feats:
"I'm like, what a giant of a man."
These anecdotes serve to highlight the community's camaraderie and the larger-than-life personas that populate their local tales.
[17:00] Brady:
The conversation takes a turn to a memorable evening spent at a casino dinner. Brady recounts how he inadvertently caused tension by meddling with the communal food:
"We had our Dinner. And then I hit one. I got a $8,600 thing."
[18:10] Brady:
Describing the incident further, Brady explains his overzealous approach to sharing food with his friends led to a comedic conflict:
"Brady comes by. ATM won't even pay me."
[19:24] Brady:
The tension culminates in a humorous exchange about using a fork for communal plates, leading to playful accusations and banter:
"I threw a small infant at him and he crushed the skull. Three licks, by the way."
[21:41] Brett Holmberg:
Brett reflects on the night's events with a mix of humor and camaraderie, highlighting the group's playful dynamics:
"It was a giggle fest. We had a good time, but it was a blast."
This segment underscores the show's blend of humor and relatable group dynamics, illustrating the misadventures that can occur even in seemingly mundane settings like a casino dinner.
[28:35] Brady:
Shifting gears, Brady comments on the broader community's mood as summer progresses:
"Feels like the whole city was just shut down. I think we've hit the middle of summer."
He observes a rise in grouchiness and a general sense of people reaching their limits under the intense heat.
[29:45] Big Dick Toledo:
Adding to Brady's observation, Big Dick Toledo notes the onset of the monsoon season and its mild impact so far:
"And it's been kind of a mild one since I heard."
[30:00] Brady:
Reflecting on personal interactions, Brady shares a story about encountering a distressed individual at the casino, emphasizing the unpredictable nature of summer and its effects on interpersonal behavior:
"There was a guy at the casino... he just kind of came to life from a like, he just jumped off a train."
These reflections provide a backdrop to the episode, situating the personal anecdotes within the larger context of Arizona's summer climate and its influence on community interactions.
[35:37] Big Dick Toledo:
As the episode winds down, Brady and Big Dick Toledo joke about finishing their meals and the lingering allure of the casino's lobster mac and cheese, highlighting their enduring camaraderie and the night's memorable events.
[36:55] Brady:
Brady concludes with a humorous take on their culinary adventures and the unresolved tensions of the evening:
"The fact that you thought just because it was on our side of the table that I'd be okay with that."
[36:53] Brady:
Ending on a playful note, Brady invites listeners to embrace the chaotic energy of the morning show:
"Give us a wake up song... It's 98 KUPD."
This finale encapsulates the show's essence—blending humor, personal stories, and community interactions to create an engaging and entertaining listening experience.
Brady on the Owl's Size:
"It's a big ass owl. Got the Kestrels going."
[01:20]
Brady Describing High Yellow:
"Pick up a donkey, that's the first story I ever heard about High Yellow."
[15:05]
Brett on the Casino Fork Incident:
"That was a giggle fest. We had a good time, but it was a blast."
[21:41]
Brady Reflecting on Summer Mood:
"Feels like the whole city was just shut down. I think we've hit the middle of summer."
[28:35]
Final Invitation by Brady:
"Give us a wake up song... It's 98 KUPD."
[36:53]
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully combines humorous storytelling with relatable community experiences. From the enigmatic presence of a giant owl disrupting domestic peace to the lighthearted chaos of a casino dinner, John Holmberg and his guests navigate the highs and lows of summer in Arizona with wit and camaraderie. Listeners are left entertained and eager for the next installment of this beloved morning show.