07-15-25 - BR - TUE - Natl Give Something Away Day Will John Give Stebbings His Virginity - 1930s TP Promised No Splinters Sparking John's Plastic Cover Theory - Top 5 Is It Rude Questions Including Going To Restaurant At Closing Time

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: July 15, 2025 Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo Broadcasted on 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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1. Introduction and Guest Announcement

The episode kicks off with a lively banter among the hosts, introducing their special guest for the day—comedian Steve Burns. Although Steve was initially scheduled to join later in the week, he steps in on Tuesday due to scheduling conflicts.

Brady Bogen (00:46):
"We're gonna have a special guest today, comedian Steve Burns coming in on a Tuesday just to be with us."

This unexpected appearance sets a humorous tone for the show, with the hosts expressing excitement about Steve's unique comedic style.

2. National Give Something Away Day

Celebrating National Give Something Away Day, the hosts delve into humorous and exaggerated discussions about personal sacrifices and quirky anecdotes.

Brady Bogen (02:17):
"Happy national give something away day."

The conversation takes a humorous turn as Brady contemplates giving away his virginity, leading to a series of jokes and playful exchanges about personal relationships and past experiences.

Brady Bogen (02:21):
"My virginity as a gay still haven't met that guy. Haven't met that special fella that's made me think this is the one."

3. 1930s Toilet Paper and the Plastic Cover Theory

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Bret Vesely's "Plastic Cover Theory," where the hosts humorously theorize why plastic covers on furniture became obsolete after the 1970s.

Bret Vesely (05:06):
"No one knows the origin of the name 7Up, which was created in 1920."
Brady Bogen (05:10):
"I have a guess."
Bret Vesely (05:15):
"They served it in seven-ounce bottles. Coke came in six."

The discussion evolves into a nostalgic yet comedic exploration of hygiene practices from the 1930s, particularly focusing on toilet paper and its alleged connection to the disappearance of plastic furniture covers.

Brady Bogen (06:23):
"They were using wood as toilet paper. They were using the ends of Babe Ruth's bat for periods."
Bret Vesely (07:45):
"Gross."

The hosts weave in humorous anecdotes about their grandparents' hygiene habits, exaggerating for comedic effect.

4. Top 5 "Is It Rude?" Questions

In this segment, the hosts tackle listener-submitted questions about social etiquette, presenting their candid and often humorous opinions.

Brady Bogen (07:46):
"Is it rude to wear sunglasses indoors?"
Brady Bogen (08:04):
"I think it's douchey."

Top Questions Discussed:

• Refusing a gift: The hosts agree that politely declining is acceptable.
• Wearing sunglasses indoors: Universally deemed impolite.
• Inviting someone to a bridal shower but not the wedding: Considered better than the reverse scenario.
• Staring at someone: Unmistakably rude.
• Entering a restaurant an hour before closing: Rated as highly discourteous unless the restaurant is still lively.

Dick Toledo (12:06):
"Don't go to Applebee's or Chili's at 10 till."

The segment is peppered with witty remarks and relatable scenarios, making it both informative and entertaining for listeners.

5. Comedian Steve Burns' Absence and Technical Issues

Despite the initial excitement, comedian Steve Burns faces personal challenges that prevent him from joining the show.

Dan Flintstone (42:00):
"Go back to Grandma's time and we'll go."

Brady Bogen (42:38):
"The phones never work. He's not coming in."

The hosts express sympathy for Steve, who mentions his father is hospitalized, adding an emotional undertone to the otherwise lighthearted show.

6. Radio Videos and News Segment

A dynamic segment where the hosts comment on various viral videos and news snippets, often blending humor with critique.

Parkour Injury (30:39):
A comically tragic tale of a parkour enthusiast's mishap.

Rugby Collision (31:34):
An exaggerated portrayal of a violent sports collision, highlighting the dangers and lack of safety in such activities.

European Sport of Paddle (33:54):
A satirical take on a lesser-known sport, poking fun at its complexity and participants.

Brady Bogen (36:32):
"That's suicide."
Bret Vesely (37:42):
"Is that a baby bird?"
Brady Bogen (38:08):
"That's my favorite one. That's my new favorite one."

These segments are interwoven with the hosts' humorous commentary, making even the most bizarre news stories engaging for the audience.

7. Humorous Advertisements and Promotions

Throughout the episode, the hosts promote various products and services in their characteristic humorous style.

Game Day Men's Health Ad (00:00 & 09:07):
Repeated promotions for men's health services, blending serious health topics with comedic delivery.

All Pro Shade Concepts Ad (01:03):
A humorous take on window shades, emphasizing their practical benefits while maintaining a light-hearted tone.

Hyundai Promotion (11:30):
A comical comparison between buying a car and boarding a flight, underscoring limited availability and urgency.

8. Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode winds down, the hosts reflect on the day's discussions and tease future content.

Brady Bogen (43:23):
"We'll talk more about Grandma's claims then Steve's. You know his family's dying so he can't come in to be funny. It's going to be tougher now."

Dan Flintstone (43:25):
"He says he would welcome the distraction."

The episode concludes with the hosts maintaining their signature blend of humor, camaraderie, and anticipation for upcoming episodes.

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Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen (08:43):
  "Is it rude to go into a restaurant an hour before they close?"
  "Yeah, 45 minutes is the absolute cutoff."

• Bret Vesely (12:30):
  "Me and my wife cut off restaurants at two hours."

• Brady Bogen (17:11):
  "Nobody puts plastic on the furniture anymore because Grandma's Clam is clean."

• Dick Toledo (26:14):
  "A dual vibrating massager, Omega massager."

• Brady Bogen (38:43):
  "It's a clown nose on a woman's private."

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends humor, personal anecdotes, and light-hearted debates on social etiquette. The hosts' chemistry and quick-witted exchanges make for an entertaining listen, even amidst technical hiccups and unexpected guest absences. Whether discussing quirky theories about household hygiene or tackling the dos and don'ts of social interactions, John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo deliver a memorable morning show experience that keeps listeners engaged and amused.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's Brett Vesely from Holmberg's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health. Look, guys don't want to talk about or even think about things like testosterone replacement, erectile dysfunction, weight loss, or even peptide treatment. You figure, hey, I'm just getting older. It is what it is. Don't believe me? Then you really need to check out Game Day Men's Health. They're your go to Men's Health experts. Everything is done in house. None of this go here for a consultation, then go over here to have your labs done, then back again. I don't know about you, but that's a huge waste of time. So check them out online at gameday men's health.com.

[Brady]

Ready to go with Brady. We're gonna have a special guest today, comedian Steve Burns coming in on a Tuesday just to be with us. And he's here this weekend because he can't make it in on Thursday or Friday, but he can make it on Tuesday, which makes everything weirder.

[Dick Toledo]

It's good stuff.

[Brady]

Steve's good and he's become this unapologetic, like, I don't know if you want to call him like a right wing guy, but he's like, he just doesn't care anymore about people. He doesn't play the game. Seen Steve do some stuff lately. He's like, I'm done with that.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I gotta talk about all the.

[Brady]

Time I wanted to. I watched him do a thing somebody sent me a little bit ago of. I was a. It was a wedding setup. If one of the coolest things I've ever seen a comedian do to a crowd. It was awesome. We'll talk. Steve, he's coming in here a little bit. So let's get to the Brady report now, shall we? It's brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade Concepts. Don't spread yogurt on your windows to keep your house cooler. Get some shade on there. If you're worried about that, you want to actually probably cut down on quite a lot of electric bill, you know, cut back on that in a big way. If you shade up some of those windows that are eating up all that sunshine, you can do that. They have free installation and all their products free estimates. And the shades are custom built to block up to 95% of the sun's UV rays. Those are the bad ones. They cut the dust, the wind and they drop those temps up to 20 degrees. That means the inside of your house. If you strategically place these things will be a lot cooler too. All you have to do is go to allprochade.com simple as that. Brady reporter.

[Dick Toledo]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Brady]

Hello world. Hi.

[Dick Toledo]

Happy national give something away day.

[Brady]

My virginity as a gay.

[Brett Vesely]

It'll do it.

[Brady]

Still haven't met that guy. Haven't met that special fella that's made me think this is the one. I'm a perception, you know. It's too late. He had his chance. Playing hard to get when he was crying in that prelude to poison. Every rose has its thorn. I might have helped out a buddy that night. You know the way the Mormons do in those movies I see, you know, when brother B jerks off his friend because that's what friends do for each other. Oh, that's a good one there. What's that called? The something next door? The. That Mormon show. Oh man, is that a good one. The girls, huh? With brother B. Yeah, there's girls in it. It's not animated though.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I'm thinking of the one that. It's like the.

[Brady]

No, you know, Housewives of Brother B. I'm talking about when brother B beat off his friend cuz he was banging his wife and they were talking about that. Oh, such a great show that was.

[Brett Vesely]

Happening in the Honda with your shirts off.

[Brady]

Well, you know, he was. He was a friend in need but never did it. But let's give something away day.

[Dick Toledo]

He talked to me to it.

[Brady]

Oh man, this was me and Ste. Blue 86 Prelude Alma School in Guadalupe. Tears rolling down his face.

[Dick Toledo]

Just give me a handy right now.

[Brady]

Like you're a good friend. Remember this because there's going to be a time when I break up with somebody. And then right as he finished, he just screamed. He screamed it anyway. I love you Tiffany. Out his car window, which made me laugh. But it would have been better if he made tummy puddles while he screamed it. And then I just kind of washed my hand off in the prelude. Probably on some Taco Bell napkins, said, all right, take me home. This just changes everything.

[Brett Vesely]

And Dan Flintstone was out there waiting for you clowns to show up.

[Brady]

His friends covered in some sort of. They must have been trying to make the inside of that car cooler. There's yogurt everywhere. Oh, this song. I'll never not laugh at this. I don't even know Mark remembers it, but this don't. It was teenage love. What are you gonna do they got back together? It was so sad. Why our shirts were off were beyond me. But they were. Remember sitting there shirtless. Hot, my friend. It was sexy. I agree, Brady. I think it was hot. I gotta go crazy. I'll let you have that opinion. It was probably pretty hot, but man, that was just a weird thing. What a day.

[Dick Toledo]

Couple of basis fun facts. No one knows the origin of the name 7Up, which was created 1920.

[Brady]

All right. No reason why I. I have a guess.

[Dick Toledo]

Because they served it in seven ounce bottles. Coke came in six.

[Brady]

Did that after they named it though.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

They wouldn't. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You know, in the 1930s, a brand of toilet paper called Northern Bath Tissue marketed itself with the slogan 100% splinter.

[Brady]

Free because there was no more wood toilet paper. Oh, the filthy rust couldn't guarantee. Brady, your grandma and my grandma had the worst rust spots of all time with splinters. Those. Those grandma clams of the. Of the Depression. It had to be just disturbing. And we were in a clean. Imagine how bad it was in other nations like France and stuff. Grandma clams. Up until it was the 70s, before women cared for their goods downstairs properly and God knows what future generations will think of us. They stuffed cotton in it. We just plug it with whatever they just. They found socks or mud or like a wasp's nest and just hammered it in there or bled freely. Huh.

[Dick Toledo]

Most of them figured out the the pads are cloth.

[Brady]

Did they? They were invented in 1936.

[Dick Toledo]

The tampon was. But they were pad hygienic stuff for women.

[Brady]

Nobody was making it for a reason. Jani, our African, they were holding up.

[Dick Toledo]

That splinter free toilet paper and putting it in there.

[Brady]

They were using wood as toilet paper. They were using the ends of Babe Ruth's bat for periods. Oh, they still. Jani, my African buddy, he always said the one thing that women don't have is hygiene product. I'm like, why you don't talk about it? That was the same way our grandparents were. Your dad didn't want to talk about. What did your dad say about that? When I said, you ever go down on a lady? Oh, God, no. That's hair pie. He was disgusted by it, and rightfully so. He came from a generation where it was a toxic sewer. It was a dump down there. Yak disgusting Pine weevil. Can't even imagine my grandma's and I've watched her come out of a bathtub. First off, anybody wanting to go down there was bad. Second, whoa. They were afraid to touch it. It was, you know, the. The devil's cave. They didn't go down there and start rubbing on it, and they realized they like it and do it more often. Sickening.

[Dick Toledo]

Gross.

[Brady]

Old people.

[Dick Toledo]

Pine weevil. Insects. Place their poop next to their eggs to keep predators away. All right, Google Posted the top 5 is it rude questions we've been Googling.

[Brady]

All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Is it rude to refuse a gift.

[Brady]

If you don't like it? What do you mean? Like, just don't take it.

[Dick Toledo]

They just want to know if. If it.

[Brady]

Yeah, so if you tried to give me something, say, hey, I got this for you, and yeah, it would be.

[Dick Toledo]

No, I don't want that.

[Brady]

I don't want that. No, you keep it. Yeah, you take it. And then.

[Dan]

Popcorn maker.

[Brady]

Yeah. And then you quietly give it back.

[Dick Toledo]

Is it rude to wear sunglasses indoors?

[Brady]

I think it's. I think it's douchey.

[Brett Vesely]

It's definitely douchey.

[Dick Toledo]

Is it rude to invite someone to a bridal shower and not the wedding?

[Brady]

No, it's better.

[Dick Toledo]

Is it rude to stare at someone?

[Brady]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

Last one. Is it rude to go into a restaurant an hour before they close?

[Brady]

Yeah, 45 minutes is the absolute cutoff. An hour before they close. You have to tell you this from experience. You have to judge it off of how many people are still there. If it's an hour before they close and there's like two tables. No, do not go in.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't be those people.

[Brady]

But if there's like 15, 20 tables and they're still. You still see people milling around and moving pretty good, then you can go in.

[Brett Vesely]

But getting balls.

[Brady]

It's closed.

[Brett Vesely]

In your ranch.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, you're definitely. If. Oh, if you're. If you're going in, you guys, if you ask, are you still open, you already know you're wrong.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, if you gotta ask.

[Brady]

If you gotta ask, if it doesn't look like they're still open, then don't go in there. Because Brett's right. If you like the flavor of swampy kitchen cook balls, then that's what you're going to be getting. There's nothing. Oh, yeah, we're still open. And then you listen carefully when, okay, they seat you, and then the hostess goes back, and you'll hear them in the kitchen going, I just sat three at table 50. And you'll hear somebody in the back go, puto Heather. Or something like that. They scream out like they hate the hostess real quick. I think that's what they said.

[Brett Vesely]

Just watch. Waiting.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. It's so accurate. So insanely accurate. An hour is the absolute. Like, that's the cutoff. 45 minutes. If you're in there and even the sign says 40, don't go in there. The kitchen staff has already started to clean up. It's terrible.

[Dick Toledo]

And it depends on the restaurant, too.

[Brady]

What do you mean?

[Dick Toledo]

Like, if it's a family run restaurant.

[Dan]

It should not depend on the restaurant.

[Dick Toledo]

No, it does.

[Brady]

You still make them. Absolutely.

[Dick Toledo]

You own that restaurant. Oh, and there's a table. Like, I want that table.

[Brady]

Okay. You're talking about the owner. Yeah, yeah. No, that's different than the employees. The employees?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

If there's one guy working there and he's the owner and they have an hour till they close, even if there's two or three employees, he's gonna suck it up.

[Dan]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[Brady]

98.

[Brett Vesely]

It's Brett Vesely from Holmberg's Morning sickness for Game Day Men's Health. Look, guys don't want to talk about or even think about things like testosterone replacement, erectile dysfunction, weight loss, or even peptide treatment. You figure, hey, I'm just getting older. It is what it is. Don't believe me? Then you really need to check out Game Day Men's Health. They're your go to men's health experts. Everything is done in house. None of this go here for a consultation, then go over here to have your labs done, then back again. I don't know about you, but that's a huge waste of time. So check them out [e-mail] in the.

[Brady]

Time it takes you to actually board a flight from Group 8 now boarding Premier Altitude Elite club members. You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Limited availability pick up through participating Hyundai dealer and select markets. Holmberg's morning sickness. If the owner's there, you're screwed. But if the owner's not there, you got an out. And if it's a family run restaurant, the employees are even more miserable because they're probably making dirt money at a family run. If it's not like that's why they're taking that three kids. No, they're miserable. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't go to Applebee's or chili's at 10 till.

[Brady]

No, I mean high risk. Yeah. Oh, I say it's high risk anywhere. Those owners of restaurants that aren't doing so great that last hour and they see you, they're better. You're probably eating a whole Load of boogers.

[Brett Vesely]

And see, this guy says, I run a local restaurant that closes at 10:30. At 10:15, a party of 13 walked in. Extra protein for them, and that's a big bill.

[Brady]

Yeah. And he's. He's still just absolutely all over their meals.

[Brett Vesely]

This guy says, me and my wife cut off restaurants at two hours.

[Brady]

Two's a lot. That's too much. An hour is an absolute perfect cut off. It's etiquette.

[Dick Toledo]

Disney adults should be excited. They're getting their own dating app. It's called Single Riders. It's for Disney superfans.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Dick Toledo]

The guy that invented a guy goes by Joe the bearded nerd on social media. Says he came up the idea two years ago after he got stood up on a date when he went to a bar, Disney World, to get drunk. He's been trying to loop in a programmer ever since. Finally, he found one. He says it's a way that Disney adults can connect to see if there's a spark. But if it doesn't, it doesn't have to be a romantic thing either, says Yopes. I watched this already make friends too.

[Brady]

It was called Love on the Spectrum. And if you're a Disney adult, you've got autism. You're not a normal person. Here's another thing that just popped in my head, by the way, Ray, to argue your point. If I go into a restaurant and the owner's there before it closes and he's excited to see me, I don't want to eat there. There's no. There's no way. It's the. It's not going well.

[Dan]

Thanks for coming in.

[Brady]

The quality of the food's terrible. I've made a mistake.

[Brett Vesely]

The food's probably stale and old.

[Dick Toledo]

There's a reason why they want you.

[Brady]

Oh, exactly. If they're excited to see me an hour before they close. Business sucks.

[Dick Toledo]

We got one.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, I'm not interested in that.

[Dan]

By the way, we have a new listing on our concert calendar.

[Brady]

Grandma Clams at the Mason Jar. Is that real, or is that something I just said? Okay, yeah. Grandma Clam is 1930s. Grandma Clam is a great band name. I mean, think of my Grandma and Brady's grandma and if Toledo. You had a hooker Grandma. I did. Experienced.

[Dan]

That's Hoya.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Good. Good impression.

[Brady]

Is your grandma thinking back at her Brett. What? Hygienic.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. I never think about that.

[Brady]

Don't think about it. Just give it a. Give it a second. Give it a second. Give it a wander.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, because I Don't think. I don't think my grandfather would put up with that.

[Brady]

I'm convinced. I'm convinced I'm right about to put.

[Dan]

Up with each other.

[Brady]

My theory about plastic on the furniture going away after the 70s has everything to do with how bad grandma's clam smelled. There's no. It went away after we started cleaning up the downstairs. Nobody puts plastic on the furniture anymore. That was normal. It had everything to do with the smell of grandma's clam. Either that or she was a squirter. Those are my two theories too.

[Dick Toledo]

They were entertaining a lot.

[Brady]

They had a lot of guest clam. And they sit on the plastic furniture because. And they didn't have like leather couches back then a lot.

[Dick Toledo]

So they had those couples coming over all the time.

[Brady]

Put plastic on that because Paula and her husband are coming by and they've. They're from the 30s, so.

[Dick Toledo]

So detail. They even put the plastic runners on the floor.

[Brady]

Disgusting. Bodies couldn't drip anything down on the carpet either. And what was even weirder about that? As concerned as they were about how dirty their clams were. Because I'm convinced I'm right about this. They carpeted their bathrooms. What the hell was going on in our grandparents?

[Dick Toledo]

They swore up the clam drippings.

[Brady]

What it must have been. They got tired. That's right. Clam dripping is another good band name. They must have been tired of looking down, seeing that weird cocktail sauce colored drippings all around the tile. So like just put it. Put a beige carpet down or something around here.

[Brett Vesely]

That fuzzy carpet that absorbs everything and.

[Brady]

They put it on the toilet.

[Dick Toledo]

The old man spraying everywhere.

[Brady]

They didn't have Swiffers back then, so they couldn't. They just let it go into the carpet. Our grandparents were disgusting. I'm convinced I'm right about this plastic furniture thing. It's gone. Remember? It was everywhere. Every one of us had a. Had a relative with plastic on their furniture. Every one of us.

[Dan]

My question, did they. Did they sell it like that? Was it an add on?

[Brady]

I'm sure it was like a bonus. Like yeah, well throw in the plastic for free for your clan.

[Dan]

Because I don't ever remember it being able to come off.

[Brady]

It was tight and it had zippers.

[Brett Vesely]

On it and stuff like that.

[Brady]

All you had to do. Oh yeah, you could zip it and take it off. But that's in case grandma leaked all the way through the plastic. Why else, Brady? Why else?

[Dick Toledo]

That's just protecting the material.

[Brady]

From what?

[Dan]

Asshole Grandma?

[Dick Toledo]

Everything?

[Brady]

No, because we stopped right he's right. No, he's not. I'll tell you right now, not everything, because it went away. It went away. And the only thing that changed. Kids are still dirty.

[Dick Toledo]

People still spilled antimicrobial cushions, whatever.

[Brady]

Nope, that's a sales job. Not. Then took the plastic off when they invented fds.

[Dick Toledo]

Which was what now?

[Brady]

Lume and Lume. Now you. Now you can have it.

[Dan]

FDS was what, 70, mid-70s, something like that.

[Brady]

And grandmas are. You still had those dying grandmas that, you know, weren't using it. So the plastic stayed on till like, 82, 83. It was gone after that. And Playboy is the way you can see it, as the bushes diminished into small, you know, bushes. Yeah. The plastic slowly disappeared, as did with the disappearance of pubic hair on women. Plastic left the furniture.

[Dan]

Prevalence of waxing.

[Brady]

Yeah. We lost plastic on the furniture when we lost ladies pubic hair because they started paying attention to it. Brady. I'm right. Which one of your grandma's. Baboo, which one had the plastic?

[Dick Toledo]

Neither one of them.

[Brady]

Nobody had plastic. You had someone in your family with plastic because it's relatable. You don't go, huh?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, no. I remember as a kid going into a house and they had the grandma clam. It was it. And it was mostly older people.

[Brady]

That's right.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

They did that for a reason.

[Dan]

You almost hated admitting that.

[Brady]

Yeah, he hates it. He hates it because he realizes he's from the time frame where his grandma was dis.

[Dick Toledo]

We just put it on ours.

[Brady]

You put. Because you're. Because you're leaking. Are you leaking? Well, I imagine with as much barbecue and meat as you're eating it, you probably have some squirts. You're a squirter, too.

[Dick Toledo]

There's this family from Canada. They were holidaying. They were vacationing in England, in Cornwall, walking around the forest. In the St. Nekton's Glen, there's this beautiful waterfall. And it's considered magical by thousands of visitors because at one time King Arthur went through there and Merlin stories behind it.

[Brady]

Merlin wasn't real.

[Dick Toledo]

So the daughter.

[Brady]

He's struggling with reality today.

[Dick Toledo]

The daughter.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

See something sticking out of the ground. They thought it was a little broken branch with moss on it. End up being a horn. And they dig it up and it's a skull with a single horn coming out of it. They found a unicorn, the one that Merlin wrote.

[Brady]

Hold on. Time out. It was sticking out of the ground. And no one noticed this.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And they were.

[Dan]

Excalibur did it.

[Brady]

Yeah. It Was a plant.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. So the guy pulled it out and he goes, sure enough, it's a skull. But I. They brought it to this museum in Bow Castle. The Museum of Witchcraft and Magic.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

This is the skull might have interest them however, they said they deemed it not to be magical.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Instead said it was labeled as a freak animal. So on their way out, they're. They're leaving London. They get to the. They're heading to the airport, but he stops at a pub. They have the skull. And the guy at the pub, the pub says, I'll give you a lifetime supply of beer if you. For the skull. And he's like, well, I'm a big fan.

[Brady]

That's a good sale.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. He, he liked this particular beer. And he's like, okay. So he swapped it out. Here's the picture of the skull.

[Brady]

Yeah. I have a hard time believing that in a place where, quote, Merlin walked around regularly and tourists get to. You're just going to find a unicorn skull one day. Nobody's done any ground looking. Does Brady own this museum? He didn't do any questioning or anything before. And by the way, next time you mention the Museum of Wizardry and Magic, cue me so I can. So I can do this. 93.3alti z because there's no reason to mention that on this station.

[Dick Toledo]

The beer that he loved was called Old Speckled Hen.

[Dan]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health. I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focused. And now with the help of Game Day's board certified staff, I'm looking at peptide and vitamin therapies as well. In a matter of minutes at Game Day's in house lab, a licensed Game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging. And it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's Health locations in the Valley. Take that first step now at gameday.

[Brady]

Phoenix.Com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. And that's in that can somewhere. She's the reason why we put plastic furniture.

[Dan]

Decent band name or is that an album?

[Brady]

No, that's too far. Yeah.

[Dan]

Old Speckled Hand.

[Brady]

Yeah. It's too much. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

In Richmond Heights, Ohio.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Dick Toledo]

Rape police had to turn to facial recognition technology to track down several dirty dancers. This was like live PD or the twerking they jumped on the hood of a cop car, twerked and twerked, and the camera was on recording, but they couldn't identify the people by their asses, so they. They went to the AI.

[Brady]

We don't have AI assets.

[Dick Toledo]

They got both because they're facing the windshield. They. They kind of.

[Brady]

Well, then they did have their faces.

[Dick Toledo]

But they took it. They took it to the facial recognition AI and then tracked him down.

[Brady]

Well, they did have their faces.

[Dick Toledo]

But you couldn't, with the human eye, figure out who it was, identify that person.

[Brady]

Oh, so it cleaned it up.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[Brady]

They were moving around so fast with the twerking that they were all blurry, like they were in Jacob's ladder.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, and the AI recognition technology slowed.

[Brady]

It down, identified them. And the ladies twerking on the cop car in jail. For what?

[Dick Toledo]

Felony.

[Brady]

Oh, wow, that's rough.

[Brett Vesely]

Watch op live. You'll find it.

[Brady]

Opie. I can spot it.

[Dick Toledo]

Actually, they have to pay for the damage of the.

[Brady]

There's a dent on the hood on Saturday. Oh, yeah, sure. On Saturday, there was a. Cops had their AR15s out, and they're in a. I'll call it a twerking neighborhood to sound, but you know what I mean. A lot of twerking going on. Maryville. And they are in a. They're in AR15s. They're walking around. There's cop cars everywhere. Right. All the cops are carrying assault rifles. It's nighttime. Dude's around, and I see a car go by, and the driver's eyes are right on the camera, like, what? And he just looks right in. You hear that car, like, still there. When the. And he's out of the frame. And then in the background, you're just here. Are y' all on tv? I'm like, oh, we got a twerker. He's totally not worried that there are multiple cops walking around with AR15s. Not at all.

[Dick Toledo]

Followed by cameras.

[Brady]

Yeah, he just. Is this on tv? All he cared about was, I was just on television. It was crazy. I love that show. I love when they go to twerking neighborhood twerking parties where they have to bust it up. Oh, well, the best.

[Dan]

As you see, there's a reason.

[Brady]

Oh, here's the video of them twerking. Wild scene caught on camera. Some people are in some twerking trouble and identify her. See, in this video, the provocative dance has been around for decades, but I better probably never seen it done like this. Gilbert mom reporting.

[Dan]

Never seen it like, that's shaking.

[Brady]

Nightmare. That only the blacks do. My little daughter would never do this. Of course, we're best friends, so we go clubbing together. Gilbert News.

[Dick Toledo]

Got a Florida man named Jeffrey laforge. He was arrested last Friday after stealing a long list of adult toys from Walmart. They sell adults? Yeah, I didn't know that either. Here's the list he stole from the store. Two separate occasions included a G spot suction vibrator, vibrating pocket wand.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

A Tush toy. Tush or Tush Toy flavored lube.

[Dan]

You're so pure.

[Brady]

Put it in my touch.

[Dick Toledo]

A dual vibrating massager, Omega massager.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Dick Toledo]

Vibrating bullet massager and an oral stroker.

[Dan]

Which one's that?

[Dick Toledo]

Along with the Reese's peanut butter cup ice cream half gallon.

[Dan]

Yeah, it's Walmart.com.

[Brady]

Wow. Yeah, go to Walmart.com. get all that stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

Are they in stores?

[Dick Toledo]

Let's check. The cost of the merch was under a thousand dollars. But Jeffrey. His charges were enhanced to felonies because he has a prior theft.

[Brett Vesely]

Store.

[Brady]

They have him right there in the store. Yeah, Apparently I have. Is it in the electronics? Oh, no. Huh.

[Dick Toledo]

There's our perp. Picture of him twerking.

[Brady]

No. This dude is mad about his male pattern baldness. It's not going well.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, he needs all the help he can get.

[Brady]

By the way, I just got shopping, pal. I just got a text from your mom and said we did put plastic on the furniture. But not at our house. Brady. It was over at Uncle Jack's. Yeah, Remember Uncle Jack was the one that was banging the landscaper. They caught him on the couch. And was it embedded on the couch? On the couch.

[Dick Toledo]

Couch.

[Brady]

That was on the couch. Spooning the landscape.

[Dick Toledo]

Was there plastic on that couch after?

[Brady]

I bet you there was Afterwards. I bet you get plastic down every time Jack came over with his new friends. Or on Wednesdays when the landscapers.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at that. It's on sale now.

[Brady]

Is that.

[Brett Vesely]

It was 28 bucks. Now on sale for 1159.

[Brady]

That's the suction. The suction one.

[Brett Vesely]

Esthero's Toys Sex toy vibrator for a woman's.

[Brady]

You sound uncomfortable too. Yeah.

[Dan]

What he turned into Brady.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Available in multi color.

[Brady]

Yeah. And it just latches on like a lamprey.

[Brett Vesely]

I guess so.

[Dick Toledo]

Let's see here.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you can. It's portable too. You can take it with you anywhere.

[Brady]

Show a lady putting it in your bag in case she wants to put bozo's nose on her clitoris. There you go.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at that. 10 strong suction features, man.

[Dan]

Wow.

[Brady]

It's a clown nose on a woman's private.

[Brett Vesely]

Two hours out of it.

[Brady]

Well, sure. That's what you. Pretty good deal. She plops it on there for lunch. When does this happen? This is why we had plastic on the furniture.

[Dick Toledo]

Must have eight layers because it's octmom.

[Brett Vesely]

You can use it in the car, bathroom, office, cinema, and even walking around.

[Brady]

That's right. Oh, it. It stays attached. Oh, yeah, like a barnacle. Yeah, a vagina barnacle. That's getting it done. That looks kind of neat.

[Brett Vesely]

It's on sale right now, and it's.

[Brady]

Got a quiet mode, so it doesn't just go while you're trying to do a business mode. All right, Susan, come on in here for a little bit. We got a meeting. And how's that noise? Anybody else hear that? I don't know what you guys are talking about. All right, Susan, you have the minutes from last meeting? Oh, yes, of course. She's got the Alzheimer's or Parkinson's or something.

[Dick Toledo]

Finally, it looks like Starbucks is stepping up and doing a similar thing that Lays potato chip does every year. But you can't win as much money. Lays did it, like, for a million.

[Brady]

Dollars for a new flavor, make your new thing.

[Dick Toledo]

So if you go to secret menu contest, Dot Starbucks.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You can submit a new flavor for their secret menu that they always have at the store.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

There's like five, four or five drinks on a secret menu. You come up with a new flavor.

[Dan]

How does this.

[Dick Toledo]

If your first round is your. If you're a finalist, you get five grand. And if they pick your drink, you get 25,000.

[Brett Vesely]

Cheapskates. Brett ain't doing that as much as that coffee is.

[Brady]

I mean, by the way, hire somebody to come up with new drinks. Starbucks. It's like when TV was like, submit your videos. If you see a news story, it's like, no, that's your job.

[Brett Vesely]

Lay's giving you a million bucks. And Starbucks is only 5. 20, 25K.

[Brady]

Here's the difference. Lay's just made you come up with an idea. You just fired over going, I don't know, peanut butter and jelly. And they're like, all right, you've been submitted the Starbucks one. You have to do ingredients. Yeah, I've seen this yesterday. You got to give them. You got to give them your mix. I didn't realize the lay's one was like, you know what? I want my chips to taste like agave. Okay. Submitted.

[Dick Toledo]

We like that idea.

[Brady]

Yeah. That was all you had to do is write a dummy letter to saying, here's something that I don't taste on chips. KitKat. All right, we'll try it. We'll see if it's any good, and we'll put it to the test. And they did it. It's crazy. All right, ready?

[Dick Toledo]

Got some radio videos. Hopefully we're up today. We're rolling. All right, first one's a parkour injury.

[Brady]

In the Middle East.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm gonna say death. Parkour death.

[Brady]

This might be Al Qaeda pushing a guy off a building, too. He just does a backflip and misses and then he falls about 18 stories. Wow. And they filmed the whole thing? Yeah, he tried to do a little backflip on the ledge of a building. And then, of course, Allah's involved. What was the music change?

[Brett Vesely]

Look at the writing on Brady's page.

[Brady]

Why are they playing that?

[Dick Toledo]

It's appropriate.

[Brady]

Is it? If a white guy dies in the Middle east, watches it on a video, do they just play My God is an awesome guy?

[Dick Toledo]

No free falling?

[Brady]

Well, no, because that's not their religious crap. That's dumb. Don't. They don't play Tom Petty. We play some of their religious music. They don't play any of, like, how great thou art maybe. I don't know.

[Dick Toledo]

Next one's the rugby version, the Oklahoma drill. But it's just one on one, these things.

[Brady]

I saw this.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Two dudes, they go head to head about 10, 12 yards to the center. So it's a 20 yard field. They meet in the middle, and this giant dude just kills a man. They. They collide in the center of the track, and one dude stays upright and the other one's dead.

[Dick Toledo]

And they are both giant.

[Brady]

Yeah, they're huge. Top speed, heading into each other. And the bigger of the two breaks the neck of the little one.

[Dick Toledo]

They do rounds of it.

[Brady]

Wow, that guy doesn't. That dude, he's out. He does rounds of. You know, hospitals and doctors.

[Dan]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness. They do rounds on him. Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

A new droopy face.

[Brady]

This is an African person that's here. Yeah, some. Some disease that's melting half of her face. It's the most. Yeah, it is. It's the end of Indiana Jones. Oh, my God, look at her hand. Why do you do this to yourself?

[Dan]

All it takes is one, John.

[Brady]

Yeah, no, it doesn't. Because I've seen a few of them. I don't have an algorithm of hundreds like him. You have more. And you know what? It's never. Americans it's like the most ever. It's the most Trumpy Zionist thing I've ever seen in my life. But he's just far hot. Zohan, he hates.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, most of the time. There's something going on though. Going to a hospital.

[Brady]

Huh?

[Dick Toledo]

It seems like countries don't.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's. They're. They're not Americans. They suck. So they let their dying die in the streets. Is what. Correct? Exactly. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

If you're.

[Brady]

If you're melting and you're chocolate, we film it.

[Dick Toledo]

You made. You made the news.

[Brady]

Yeah. You're going on American news because you are. You're. You're like a bowl of M M's out there.

[Dick Toledo]

Last one's the European sport of paddle. It's like racquetball. It's got glass walls.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

A net.

[Dan]

I thought it was.

[Dick Toledo]

It's a great smell. No, it's a P, A D E, L. Okay. And it's picked up big time.

[Brady]

It's just a big glass wall. Two people stand on the other side of it.

[Dick Toledo]

And she's trying to hit it off the wall.

[Brady]

Oh, and she hits herself square in the face. But she's so insanely hot. Billie Eilish Meow Meow song wow. Is this a sport for only spectacular women?

[Brett Vesely]

Billie Eilish sings Meowmake yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. She's like Morris now. Wow. Well, this evidently should motivate all women to play whatever sport this is. Because if that's the body you get from it, I mean, you're still not smart. She hit herself in the face with a paddle.

[Brett Vesely]

She looks like good. She'll need to be smart.

[Brady]

No, she doesn't. She's got 10 years of not having to care about how smart or dumb she is.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm gonna sit out again.

[Brady]

That is spectacular.

[Dan]

Maybe she had a Walmart rose on.

[Brady]

That's right.

[Brett Vesely]

She gets two hours of use out of it.

[Brady]

I'd watch that girl smack herself in the face over and over. She knows what she's done wrong and she takes care of it without us. I should have never said that. Smack. She does it. She's self sustaining. I'm sorry. I got a big mouth. I've smacked myself. Holy cow. Slap. You're the greatest woman of all time, Brett. Go ahead, people. Ask if we have a sponsor for. For Brett's videos and yeah, we do. 93. 3.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, so I'm not playing.

[Brady]

All right, here we go. What's this?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you'll see. F around and find out.

[Brady]

Somebody's opening a screen with Their finger. They're looking out onto a very terrible little porch.

[Dick Toledo]

Brick to the head, little courtyard.

[Brady]

There's a little tiny guy in a tank top out there. Oh. Hits the guy right in the head with a brick. Once, twice, right in front of the kids. Three times. Nobody stopping it. Oh. Hits him in the hip, aiming for the head. The guy's trying to block. He's still alive. Oh, he dropped the brick. Can go get that. All right. That pile of garbage. And now a whole bunch of people who haven't showered in months come out to help, and they're fine. Now, a day in the life of Mumbai.

[Brett Vesely]

My God, you can already see where this one's going.

[Brady]

Dude standing on a train track. He's putting his hand. Putting his hand out to stop the train. And now he's just standing there doing nothing. This happened. This happened on the 8th of July. Wow. That's suicide.

[Dick Toledo]

Nothing be a little quicker than that.

[Brady]

Well, I think the train was trying to slow down. Wow. Guy just killed himself by getting hit by a train.

[Brett Vesely]

Watch closely.

[Brady]

All right, are we on ATVs? This guy's got his helmet came on. He's riding as the passenger on the atv behind the driver here. Horse holding on Worse. Oh, my God. The shotgun just went off.

[Dick Toledo]

No, he caught a cable.

[Brady]

Ied.

[Dan]

It's war.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Dick Toledo]

Why?

[Brady]

The dude got an ied. They blew up their machine and his head popped off. Right?

[Dick Toledo]

Well, he's still roaming around.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, but was that hit? He just got shot. It's not an ied. Somebody just shot the driver. Yeah, that's not like an IED would blow up the whole thing. That's a road. Wow. All right, thanks for that, Brett.

[Dan]

Yikes.

[Brady]

I've never seen a guy's head explode like that before.

[Brett Vesely]

Come on.

[Brady]

Head.

[Dan]

It was like, a whole half of his.

[Brady]

Yeah, whatever.

[Dan]

What a transition.

[Brady]

All right, this guy's got his. What? Where are these balls? Penis has been removed.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what's going on here.

[Dan]

Why keep.

[Brady]

It's got a scrotum, and it's been cinched up by, like, some sort of a clamp.

[Dan]

Why keep your berries if you've got.

[Dick Toledo]

I. I don't.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't get that.

[Brady]

There's no crank there.

[Dan]

Is it gone?

[Brett Vesely]

I think so, yeah.

[Brady]

I don't know what's going on. It's just a dude. Just balls.

[Dick Toledo]

AI.

[Brady]

Yeah. Brady doesn't like that. It might be real. I think it's stuffed inside him. Looking at the lump, I think he's turned his penis Inside out. See, it's in his hand. I think he pushed it in, and then he cinched it up by pushing it in there. Wow. So there's that. Is that a baby bird? Oh, he's hollowed out his scrotum.

[Dan]

Tell me this is gonna.

[Brady]

That's my favorite one. That's my new favorite one. Oh, this is awesome. Oh, it makes me want to try it. So he carved a hole in his scrotum from the base of his penis down to the. He. Well, he took the seam and he opened it up. And evidently, when you do that, you can get in there to where your ejaculate lives and you can put a pinhole in that. And then when you pleasure yourself, it comes out of the new mouth you've formed in your scrotum. It doesn't.

[Brett Vesely]

Play it again.

[Brady]

Yeah, it cut off. Oh, that's too good. 93. 3. Wow. All right. I didn't know you could do that. So he just basically disconnected the tube that from your balls to your urethra.

[Dan]

Short circuit.

[Brady]

Yeah, I shorted it out. He opened it up, and then. And then it shoots out of his scrotum. Out. It was sort of neat.

[Brett Vesely]

I guess it works.

[Brady]

Yeah. Hey, he's still getting pleasure. Somehow. You think you disconnect that, the whole shebang's going south, but no. How about that? How about that? You know, Mel Allen never called that in. This week in Baseball, here's Pete Rose. Chopped up his own nut sack. And look at. How about that? And you know, I'm glad Vin Scully's dead, too, because the old stories he would have. His father invented a brand new technique of ejaculating by cutting his own scrotum open. That one's low and inside. Teosco didn't know what was going on, but his dad showed him the hippo mouth he'd made on his own testicles. And when it fired out the goo, there's a line drive to left. I'll finish that story in a second when I'm done puking. It could happen. Wow.

[Dan]

So.

[Brady]

Man, what you guys are up to out there is it blows my.

[Dan]

Mind every day you think we've had someone like that.

[Brett Vesely]

Any of our events, guaranteed.

[Brady]

Yep. A hundred percent. Yep. Brady shook hands with him. Good to meet you, chief.

[Dick Toledo]

How's the hungry hippo?

[Brady]

I got plastic on my furniture. Guaranteed I'm right about that plastic. Nobody's ever given me a good excuse as to why it's stopped at all. At all. Except for mine. Female hygiene ramped up in the 80s got real good in the 90s. Is excellent now. No more need for plastic on the furniture, cuz Grandma's Clam is clean. Grandma's Clam is clean. It's a great album. There. There you go. Clean, clean, Clam.

[Dan]

Full name or is just is clean.

[Brady]

He hates like it is permeating off of you because. Making you think of Baboo's Clam and you might have seen it and you're like repressed memories are pushing it away.

[Dan]

Flashbacks.

[Brady]

You hate this fever dream. Yeah. And there should have been plastic on a couple of relatives homes at your place too. For sure. Your grandparents were born in the early 1900s, which means stink box city, man.

[Dick Toledo]

Pristine.

[Brady]

No, it wasn't. Oh, you can think of your grandma's Clam that way.

[Dan]

Dust bowl.

[Brady]

That makes you the weirdo. I'm. I'm the realist. You're the weirdo for thinking I. I beg to differ. My grandma's. My grandma's spotless.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Cause think about the defense you're making.

[Brady]

I prefer to think of my grandma's Clam dirty anyway. Yuck. The whole world's gone disgusting.

[Dan]

So I texted Steve Byrne this morning. He wants to call in.

[Brett Vesely]

What the hell?

[Brady]

Get your ass in here.

[Dan]

He says, I'm here in Tampa. My father is in a bad way in the hospital.

[Brady]

Jeez.

[Dan]

It's trending better, which is good. So I'll still be there this weekend, obviously. So can I call in? I said. Well, John said he had some questions for you. Let me check and see if he's okay.

[Brady]

The phones never work.

[Dan]

We can call him.

[Brady]

They never work. He's not coming in. We'll talk. This is off the air conversation.

[Dan]

Yeah, so I just let you know in case you were.

[Brett Vesely]

Go back to Grandma's time and we'll go.

[Brady]

We'll talk more about Grandma's claims then Steve's. You know his family's dying so he can't come in to be funny. It's going to be tougher now.

[Dan]

He says he would welcome the distraction.

[Brady]

Oh for Christ's sake. Now we gotta fix his problems. Who arranged this? There was no way he was gonna be in town on a Tuesday.

[Dan]

It was set up a few weeks ago because they asked me ahead of time.

[Dick Toledo]

We could get the Rocky music going and try to draw tears.

[Brady]

No, I don't want to make a comedian cry. It's the worst. The phones never work right. Yeah, we'll try. There you go. That's your Brady Report. It's 98 Kupda's most powerful rocket.

[Dan]

It's out of control now.

[Brady]

98 K U PD.