07-16-25 - Swing Off Settles All Star Game - Woman In Brazil Has Rare Condition That Makes Her Boobs Grow - Only Fans Girl Wants To Surgically Replace Her Hymen To Rejoin Mormon Church - Testosterone Cream Warnings After Dad Transfers Cream To His Baby

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Released: July 16, 2025

Hosts:

• John Holmberg
• Brady Bogen
• Byron
• Brett (Advertising Segment Contributor)

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1. Swing Off Settles All-Star Game

The episode kicks off with a discussion about the recent All-Star Game, highlighting the innovative approach of mic'ing up players for a more engaging broadcast experience. John expresses enthusiasm about the interaction between the pitcher and catcher, noting,

"It was like, all right... Kershaw was awesome. He's... 22 was great." [02:22]

Byron agrees, adding that such initiatives make the game more entertaining, even for those who aren't typically baseball fans. The hosts commend the representation of the Diamondbacks, mentioning standout performances by Marte and Corbin Carroll, as well as Kyle Schwarber's impressive three home runs.

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2. Gigantomastia: A Rare Condition in Brazil

A significant portion of the episode delves into the story of Thinara Marcondes, a 22-year-old Brazilian woman diagnosed with gigantomastia—a rare condition causing excessive breast growth. John presents the case with a mix of humor and concern:

"She’s Brazilian. Has a new lease on life after surgeons removed... 22 pounds of booby meat." [12:33]

The discussion covers the severe physical and emotional toll the condition has had on Thinara, including difficulties in daily activities and societal attention. John humorously critiques the medical terminology and the dramatic presentation of her condition:

"Gigantomastia needs to be a Wrestler. Just a giant can." [16:12]

Brady and Byron join in, adding their own takes on the challenges faced by Thinara, such as the need for specialized clothing and the stigma attached to her condition. John wraps up this segment by reflecting on the uniqueness of the story compared to typical news headlines.

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3. OnlyFans Star Seeks Hymen Restoration to Rejoin Mormon Church

Transitioning to a more sensitive topic, the hosts discuss Holly Jane (name approximated from the transcript), an OnlyFans creator who desires to surgically restore her hymen to return to the Mormon Church. John approaches the subject with a blend of skepticism and humor:

"She wants to have a Frankenpuss and sew this thing back together and then like see if God notices." [21:37]

The conversation touches on the controversial nature of hymen restoration surgeries, questioning their authenticity and the motivations behind them. Brady and Byron contribute by comparing the procedure to car repairs, emphasizing the unnaturalness of the process:

"It's a vaginal do over. But is that... lab produced?" [27:35]

John continues to mock the concept, likening it to cheating and expressing doubt about its legitimacy within religious contexts. The hosts collectively highlight the absurdity they perceive in the idea, while also acknowledging the personal struggles such individuals face.

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4. Testosterone Cream Warnings: Accidental Exposure to a Baby

In a humorous yet cautionary segment, the hosts narrate a bizarre incident where a father unknowingly transferred testosterone cream to his baby, leading to unexpected consequences. John recounts his personal experience with testosterone overuse:

"My testosterone levels got to 1200, which I think is the max. It felt like I had my penis feels like it's a baked potato in the microwave..." [34:08]

Brady interjects with a punchline:

"All right, I'll do it. Jesus Christ, leave me alone." [34:08]

John humorously discusses the effects of excessive testosterone, including mood swings and physical changes. The conversation then shifts to the specific incident involving the baby:

"Stark warning to parents exposing their children to potent products after a baby girl bizarrely grew a micro penis with cut after cuddling with dad." [36:05]

The hosts debate the plausibility of such a situation, mixing factual warnings with comedic exaggeration. Byron and Brady join in with witty remarks about the absurdity of the reported case, underscoring the importance of proper medication handling.

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, and Byron navigate a blend of serious topics and comedic interludes with their trademark humor. From critiquing traditional baseball broadcasting to delving into sensational medical stories, the hosts maintain an engaging and lighthearted discourse. While highlighting extraordinary medical conditions and controversial personal decisions, they infuse the conversation with memorable quotes and relatable humor, ensuring listeners are both informed and entertained.

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Notable Quotes:

• "If you've got some time to kill and you're awake and you're one of those people that just wanders around at 5:45 in the morning with nothing to do rather than sleep more... get outside. Do something rare." — John Holmberg [00:59]

• "Gigantomastia needs to be a Wrestler. Just a giant can." — John Holmberg [16:12]

• "She wants to have a Frankenpuss and sew this thing back together and then like see if God notices." — John Holmberg [21:37]

• "My testosterone levels got to 1200... It felt like I had my penis feels like it's a baked potato in the microwave..." — John Holmberg [34:08]

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Note: Advertisements and promotional segments related to MMP Guns have been omitted from this summary to focus solely on the content discussed in the episode.

Transcript

[Byron]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John]

Morning sickness. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It's 5:45. It's the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's Toledo. Cruising into a glorious July day. What's this? Nice outside. Get out there. Should have rode my bike today. Rode it yesterday. This is amazing. Outrageously perfect out there. So if you've got some time to kill and you're awake and you're one of those people that just wanders around at 5:45 in the morning with nothing to do rather than sleep more on, first of all. Second, get outside. Do something rare.

[Brady]

Do some day trading.

[John]

Oh, yeah, it's rare, man. It's rare to get up at 5 in the morning and realize it's like 78 degrees outside or whatever with a nice breeze. Can't do day trading outside. Why would you do that? Why would you go, are you all right? Have we started off worried about you already? Your first words make me go, what's he talking about?

[Byron]

546. What the hell?

[John]

He's already confused me. It's his goal, day trading. I guess he could. He'd wander around outside and day trade, but then, you know, get a cool cloth for your head and move forward anyway, perfect outside to stand in it. Raining a little bit up north, too, so. Like Deer Valley.

[Byron]

You get any on your side?

[John]

Not yet. Okay. I17 in Deer Valley. They were saying it's raining and then a little bit north of there, so that's good.

[Brady]

Two nights ago, woke up in the car. Had the little spots.

[Byron]

Enough to piss you off.

[John]

Yeah, just enough to. God damn, I'm not gonna wash your goddamn car. Yeah. Nobody else had it. Just you. Somebody just turned a hose on your car. Anyway. Yeah. So I'm just letting you know we don't get this in July too often. We're having kind of a good summer. This is a great way to start today. And it's not even going to break 100 today, which is awesome. Hopefully. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see. I also realized, you know, as I. I look through all that goes on in the world, last night, the All Star Games going on, that was actually pretty fun.

[Byron]

Wasn't bad.

[John]

Kind of cool. I like the. I like the thing that they do when they've got the catcher and the pitcher miked up and they can talk to the guys broadcasting the game. It Was. That was like, all right.

[Byron]

This is like, Kershaw was entertaining.

[John]

Kershaw was awesome. He's.

[Byron]

Yeah, yeah.

[John]

22 was great. And. And, yeah, I mean, it was just such a neat kind of. John is 12 again. It made me feel like, oh, these guys are, like, awesome. I love baseball. I loved hearing what they said. And it's, you know, pretty interesting to have them, the catcher and pitcher able to talk to each other was neat. And, you know, big dumper back there talking to the. To Scoble. It was. It was a cool thing. So they had some cool stuff. And at the end, the, you know, the homer off, which I thought was kind of a. It took too long to get to it. But if you watch it, you're like, this is just flat out entertaining. Even if you don't like baseball, this is just a fun game. It was a blast. Diamondbacks well represented. Marte had a couple RBIs. Corbin Carroll went deep dive. Players that were there showed up. Kyle Schwerber hits three home runs. I'm entertained.

[Brady]

Maybe they're moving more towards, you know, the Savannah Bananas doing.

[John]

If you've been to the Savannah Bananas, you have, you have. Baseball has a long way to go.

[Brady]

Incorporating one or two things.

[John]

You know, even the Savannah Bananas have a better way. Like, you just have to go to one of their games. You realize, oh, baseball, like, even the little tiny things that baseball thinks they're being creative with is like a one tenth of what the Bananas do. And that's the reason why the Savannah Bananas go into Boston's Fenway park and sell it out three nights in a row, no problem. As they do it, it's just such a different animal. And they make baseball fun. Baseball's done everything it can to be stodgy and old manish and boring in a time when everybody wants stuff moving fast. And they did it last night. I think they should incorporate that thing. If it's a tie game after the 90s to get into a home run derby, nobody wants to watch.

[Brady]

I've been to, like, a soccer game when they.

[John]

Yeah. Kicks. Yeah, yeah. It's hockey did it. They went to shootouts after one. You do one inning of, you know, all right, we'll go to a 10th inning if. If nobody. If. If it's tied after that, we're going to do a home run derby. I was at a Cubs and Diamondbacks game in 2019. I went 16 innings. It was the most boring thing I've ever been to in my life. And. But you're just kind of committed to the idea of, like, well, I'm stuck here. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I'm like, well, might as well see how it ends. And it just wouldn't. It just. Ref refused to. And it was bad baseball. It was just bad everything. Bad sports. So, yeah, a little home run derby in the middle of the game, that would be fun.

[Byron]

That's what I loved about Kershaw. He's like, what should I throw here?

[John]

All right, I'll throw Kershaw. I loved when. When Smoltz told me, he goes, what do you want me to do, Smoltz? He's asking the booth, what do you want me to throw? And he goes, why don't you give him a cutter inside? I don't have a cutter, Smoltzy. And he just. He goes, throw him another change up. And he was great. That was so fun and. And hearing that was a blast. So, yeah, they had some innovative ideas, but they weren't, you know, it was just kind peeking in to guys who don't care. They wouldn't do that during a regular game and whatever, but it was neat. It was a neat thing. So baseball, tip of the cap. It was a fun game. And you know what's great about it is that it's everything that a regular game isn't. The stuff that made it fun was stuff that you don't get in regular baseball. So hopefully they incorporate some things. See the difference? You're right, Brady. The Savannah bananas thing, they need to take a look at that and go.

[Brady]

Take one or two things.

[John]

Oh, to take six or seven things, there's a bunch of stuff the bananas do. After every home run, the whole team runs through the crowd. I mean, interaction with the. It's. It is so cool. Now you have to have like a, you know, like a little. A pathway that's. But they can do high fives to that front row, and they're right there. It was. I didn't know that's what they did. But after a home run, the whole team goes. Instead of a tip of the cap from the dugout, they're always so distant.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Major league baseball players. When I sit in those dugout seats, Hopkins will occasionally get the one that's right next to the dugout. And there's a guy that just stands there. Basically. Basically makes you feel like, don't look at him. Don't. Don't look at him. And you're like a foot from a.

[Brady]

Guy, and he's looking at him the whole time.

[John]

Yeah. Cattel Marte had A cruddy first at bat and came back in. There's like three or four little kids. From me to you, Brady, four feet. He's chucking his helmet into the fence. The kids are standing on screaming stuff. I don't even know if it was in English. I don't know what the words were. It was like, you know, it was like Qbert was mad and he's furious, and I'm like, that's awesome. Immediately, some guy goes, don't look in it. Don't look in here. Like, he's not. Don't have these seats. What am I supposed to do? You're not allowed to put your fingers through the little holes, then. Don't make little holes. Of course a kid's gonna put his hands in the fence and, like, get your fingers out. Why? Just do it. You're too close.

[Byron]

Was he worried the guy from Chicago was gonna show up again, start breaking.

[John]

His balls or what? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, Marte. And then he started crying. Cuz Patel's got a but. Yeah, it was. But the. You know, the bananas do a thing where the crowd's. You're in it. We. We appreciate you guys being here. Instead of just, like, waving to us like the queen or the Pope from some sort of protected space. It's. It's rough. But yeah, then. And then all of a sudden, in a game that matters, they like, oh, let's get fan friendly real quick. The bananas also do a thing that would ruin baseball statistically and start it all over. But you win innings. The innings over. Like, if it's one to nothing, like Brett. The White Sox come up top of the first score, too. And the Cubbies in the bottom of the first score, three. No matter how many outs there are, that's it. And Cubs win the innings one to nothing.

[Brady]

It's like a boxing. Like a period. A ring. You know, in a boxing match, you win a.

[John]

Well, you win rounds. But. Yeah, but it just. It just ends when you win it. Unless the. If you're the team that's. If you're the top of the inning and you score three and the other team doesn't score, they get three outs to try to top it. Otherwise, it's one to nothing. You don't get, like, the. And the game flies by, and then, you know, you could eliminate the. You know, the choreograph dances like, we don't need that. But the bananas are fun for a reason, and people are flocking to it because baseball's still cool. It's Just how it's played isn't. It just isn't. And these dudes are doing great stuff. And it kind of did a little bit of it last night without going bananas. Bananas. They did it. That said, as I, you know, keep my eyes open for things for the show, and I'm always 24 hours a day looking, observing, checking out news stories, thinking about something, doing that, I realized that no matter what happened, even last night, I kind of looked around like, maybe, maybe the show we could tackle. We could tackle more political things with, you know, more gusto. And I'm like, I don't really, you know, I had this little inner debate last night looking at some stories that are political, and I think to myself, I don't want to go down that road because people get weird about it and you can't make jokes, and then you get. And then people miss the point. Then you start getting emails about Trump or Biden and whatever. It's like, John Gordon, the other day, they said, I have an email that said, I've gotten so liberal, it's out of control, can't listen anymore. You're so liberal. And John Gordon said, my girlfriend thinks you're a wild Republican. I'm like, that's what I want. I want people to not know and just think that at any given time I can take, you know, a logical side. But this dude went nuts. You're so liberal now. I mean, what are you? You're gay. You support the Jews. And I'm like, wait a second. That's a liberal stance. I don't know what this is. He was going crazy on me about, and he just had this bullet point list of things that I've said. Transvestites, this. They should have no rights. This guy's Genghis Khan. And I just emailed back and I'm like, see, you don't even know me. But I appreciate you paying attention. Because he knew everything I've ever said that said, I realized that no matter how serious I try to take this show and how I think to myself, well, let's. Let's drive the ship this way. I will never, ever be able to ignore the headline. My breasts grew uncontrollably due to a rare condition. That's the show that's immediately. I could think about what Bill O'Reilly's in trouble for. I can think about what Chris Cuomo said, what Hannity said, what Rachel, I could go down the roads that no, my breast grew uncontrollably due to a super rare condition. Is Going to be what I pay attention to from here until forever.

[Brady]

How do you get that?

[John]

I don't know. But I want more women to have it. Man, look at the size of these things. You can't escape. It's ridiculous. It's insane. She's 22. She's Brazilian. Has a new lease on life after surgeons removed. Take a guess at how many pounds.

[Brady]

Looking at those jugs.

[John]

Yeah.

[Byron]

5.

[Brady]

I'm saying pretty strong.

[John]

It's a solid amount of breast meat. Yeah, Got a little booby meat at five pounds. Think about a five, five pound booby meat. Pull. I'm going 15, 22 pounds. Combine it. 22 pounds of booby meat. It took 10 hours to pull out 22 pounds, 11 pounds of booby meat. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[Byron]

98 Ku PD Hey Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Brett]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[Byron]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Brett]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Byron]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmp.guns.com.

[Brady]

That'S a lot of meat.

[John]

That's. She had two of them.

[Byron]

There is a God.

[John]

There is a God. I am Brady. We've been wrong. And occasionally he goes, watch this. Her name is Thinara Marcondes. Her chest ballooned to an extreme, extreme size in just months in the rare and debilitating condition only a few people have in the world. Now in this picture of her and look her up, everybody on your phones, it says Thynara. T H A Y N A R A.

[Brady]

That's 88 quarter pounders.

[John]

That's right, Brady. Well done. Can you imagine? Now you can put it in two bags. It's just like stuffing it inside your body. You do it. 88 Quarter Pounders. She's a teaching student. She's always worn medium sized shirts. Until her breast started growing as 750 grams, which is a pound and a half a month. She couldn't figure it out fast. She had to buy all new Clothes multiple times. She said, I couldn't even wear a bra anymore. They don't make them. One day I tried eight shirts and none of them fit. I realized I have to go buy clothes again. Her aunt said, somebody's finally said something like, looks like you're kind of out of control there. Tharnaya started getting to the point in the street where people were stopping and just pointing at them. I would have been one of those people. Oh, my God, what's that? She said, once I went to the supermarket and people started to think I was stealing stuff, I was frisked. They didn't think you were stealing stuff. They wanted to feel this. It soon took a toll on nearly every part of her life. She said her oversized chest made everyday tasks impossible. I'll tell you what, you've what is called an oversized chest. I'm thinking maybe you find a guy, you're never gonna have to do a task again. The only thing you're gonna need to do is just kind of sit still, maybe shower in front of me every once a while.

[Brady]

In a month, you say a pound and a half.

[John]

In a month, a day or month? Yeah, every month, a pound and a half.

[Brady]

Three pounds. You get three pounds of breast meat. That something's changed about you.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

In the last two months.

[John]

People aren't going to pay too much attention at first because it's awesome. After about, I don't know, six, seven months, when you start to realize we've hit that 18 pound mark and it's not stopping, she said it bothers me. It was hard to cut my toenail. They got places for that. Yeah.

[Byron]

Be an Asian lady. Happy to do that.

[John]

I can't run. I stopped going to the gym because of my back. Lay down. You're gonna be fine. Just lay down.

[Brady]

Morgana did it back in the day.

[John]

My back hurts a little bit sometimes. You know what I do? I lay down. You never have to work. Your God gave you income right there now. Yeah. The payoff for that income, which is extraordinary. We'll be laying down a little bit and, you know, being a little uncomfortable occasionally, as usual. Never mind. I'm. I was in pain so much, I needed to get a. I had to get a wheelchair. I don't know how that's helped. They're still pulling down your shoulders. Wheelchair doctors initially thought it was cancer, but she ultimately was diagnosed with the greatest word I've ever seen. I trumped it. The greatest word maybe ever invented. Gigantomastia. Yeah. Gigantomastia needs to be a Wrestler. Just a giant can. Sounds like a mastodon album or something. Gigantomastia. And the artwork is just one giant milker. Oh yeah. It can strike randomly, ladies. So I don't know, go stand under a light pole or something and see if you can get some of this.

[Brady]

Does it say how many people suffer from it?

[John]

Yeah, it says that it happens during.

[Brady]

Puberty or benefit from it.

[John]

Pregnancy, medications. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Obesity, autoimmune disorders. It said some cases are slow, others like hers, escalate in a matter of weeks to months. You jump several cup sizes in a couple days. Along with pain and poor posture, symptoms include numbness in the nipples, infections. Now we're talking. Like somebody's not cleaning them. I would spend all day in the bathtub just rubbing them, cleaning them. It would be like having a somebody just gifted you. Like you go out in your garage and there's a 68 GTO. It's like, what's this? I don't know. It just grew here. Oh my God. I'm never gonna stop washing. In some cases, the medication can slow the growth, but most patients require surgery like this lady did, and they take care of it. It says at their biggest point, they.

[Brady]

Wait so they could once they remove it. Like she got this removed. It's. It's done. It doesn't come.

[John]

I don't know. I don't know about that. 26 pounds were what her cans weighed before the 22 pound removal. So she kept five. That's still a hefty set of cans. I'm thinking of all the cans I've seen in my life. Never once did I have five pounds of meat. Yeah. No, no, no. I'm going to checklist. No, never. Yeah. Do I know how it works, Brady? I don't. And do I? She had it October 25th last year. She got the 22 pounds pulled somehow or another. And this was all women. I'm guessing she raised $7,200 to help pay for the procedure. Now you know how fast she would have raised million dollars to get £22 put in. Every guy in the world I would have donate to that Anyway, so I'm sorry for her and her issues, but every picture I see of her with the 22 pounders, the 26 pounders, she's all smiles. Here she is at the lake, just loving every second. Now, is it attractive? No, no, it's clown.

[Byron]

Oh yeah.

[John]

But you want definitely she's got. That's a payday, cuz she's a pretty girl.

[Byron]

I would sink the Titanic.

[John]

Oh, my God, they're ridiculous. But, yeah. So as serious as I ever want to get, as much as I'm like, you know what? This. We can go down this road and do that road. Nah. A lady's going a pound and a half a month on her cans.

[Byron]

How does it.

[John]

I'm going to pay attention back. That's. That's what Brady asked. And a lot of times, like, that's. I had. I knew a girl in high school who had triple J breasts. She was very pretty.

[Byron]

All right.

[John]

I know. And she got breast reduction surgery down to Cs. And they grew back to double Ds, like, before the end of the year. Like, they wanted to be huge.

[Byron]

There is a God.

[John]

There is. Yeah. He's like, nope, nope, that's too small. And they, they, they boomed back up to double Ds. In a great way. Except for they had scars then.

[Brady]

In a great way.

[John]

No, it was in a great way. I don't know what you're talking about. Those are some great big Brazilian lady. If I was you, she gets free citizenship. We're gonna go. We're gonna have ICE go down to Brazil and pick her up and deport her right into alligator Alley, and we're gonna bring up to Florida where she belongs. I mean, it's amazing. It's just flat amazing. And then, you know, I'm like, ah, well, John, you're distracted because you're kind of a teenage boy. You gotta understand that. And then the next story I saw, I'm like, well, no, there's just. It's just. It's just who I am. Lady says, I want to restore my hymen, my Mormon roots. So I'm leaving only fans. I'm like, wow, I will read every one of these stories forever.

[Brady]

Rejuvenation.

[John]

I don't need politics in my life. I don't need any of this stuff. I find the good. They find me good stories. Just find me Pat McMahon. She's in Texas. She's an only fan star, and she under. She wants to go undergo hyman restoration and then become a good Mormon again. I'm not a religious man, but is Mormon Jesus okay with that? Like, you hammered out your hyman for so long, you got paid for your cans and your honey hole. And then you're like, I'll have a doctor surgically put it back, and we'll just ignore that that ever happened.

[Brady]

You're asking if he's that for. He can forgive that much, Brady.

[John]

I mean, is it legitimate, though? I mean, why Wouldn't everybody do this? Like, I just live my life like crazy and then at the end have my hyman put back.

[Brady]

I know, I, I remember there was celebrity, but they did it.

[John]

Oh, it was their marriage. Tony Braxton.

[Brady]

Braxton.

[John]

Tony Braxton, the singer in the 90s. But she did it the old fashioned way and read some stuff even before the Internet that if you don't like, there's a chance it'll grow back on its own if you just pardon the pun, clam up for seven years or so and then the next thing you know, you've re virginized. And it doesn't happen to everybody, but it can. If you go completely celibate for seven to eight years, your junk will grow back to like, oh, okay, okay. You back to Showroom Cleanliness. Like zero miles on the odometer. She's 42, she looks great. But she said she's a mother of three. Describes herself on her website as your favorite next door milf. She was kicked out of her church when they found out about her side hustle. Well, yeah, but now she's like, I want to wipe the slate clean. I want to sew it back on.

[Byron]

What's the source name? I mean, what's this woman's name?

[John]

I don't remember her name. I find her name, I gotta look her up. Her name is Jane something. Hang on, where's the name? Did they ever not give the whole name? Oh, come on. Holly Jane. Holly Jane. Oh, I think I Holly Jane. And she wants to have a Frankenpuss and sew this thing back together and then like see if God notices, which I find hysterical. I abused it. It looks like a big Montana now. I'm going to a doctor, I'm gonna make it a Frankenpuss and it'll, it's it. And she's doing it. And I think it's a trick. I don't think it's for Mormon Jesus. I think it's for her when she gets back on Onlyfans so we can see this thing in its new form.

[Brady]

It's a good fallback program.

[John]

Pretty bad good looking lady. It's not. Is it a good fallback plan is that you're presenting. Has that ever happened?

[Brady]

Like, if it doesn't work, I'm the born thing.

[John]

I can go back and yeah, just sew one on. It's a do over. It's a vaginal do over. But is that. Does anybody ever say that in a confession booth? There's like say 10 hail, hail Marys and Then go have your hyman sewed back on. I didn't know doctors had like spare hymens laying around to put back on.

[Brady]

I don't think, you know, I think it's like a car. Once those miles are put on there, you can't, you know, it's rolling.

[John]

It's cheating, right? It's like sawdust in the thing to.

[Brady]

Make necessarily putting in a new engine.

[John]

No, it isn't. It's. It's degreasing and then rolling the numbers back.

[Byron]

It's just going to junkyard and getting one there and putting it in the car.

[John]

Yeah, something new bondo on there and.

[Byron]

Yeah, call Shane Orlando, you know, get it all fixed up.

[John]

You got a bent frame and you're not being super honest about it that this is a salvage title. It looks good. Man, oh man. Have you ever driven this? Not what wow. But inside the gate it's like just a trash compact.

[Brady]

Yeah, you need to check the CFAX on that.

[John]

Yeah, that would be a good idea. The facts is a good idea. Check the camera facts. How many miles these broads will go to the doctor to fool men and even to fool. To try to fool the Jesus.

[Byron]

Well now since she, you know, she's doing it for the Jesus now, does she got to give all that money back? All the money she. She made whoring around? I mean, I'm just saying if you.

[John]

Want to do it, you want to do it the proper way before she spent it. Well, that she may have already donate.

[Byron]

Your house to the church, then you.

[John]

Make a solid point. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? 98, can you PD?

[Byron]

Hey, Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[John]

I sure do.

[Brett]

It's MMP Guns. Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Byron]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Brett]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[Byron]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP. MMP Guns customs.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John]

That's a very cogent and thoughtful moment.

[Brady]

The church might.

[John]

But of course he's not going to.

[Brady]

Give that money and the church might suggest. You know 10 of the only fans is going to be a lot more.

[John]

Than does the church want 10% of.

[Byron]

Only want 10% of everything.

[John]

They kicked her out. That's my point.

[Brady]

They're missing out.

[John]

So are ill gotten gains still something they want you to tithe from or only future she has to.

[Brady]

Yeah. Time can't do the only fans.

[John]

Well, I know she can't but I mean do they want her old money because it came from dirty.

[Byron]

Yup. I guarantee they do.

[John]

Oh, of course they do. Mormons don't care. Sell your hymen back on. Where's our cut? Right. Yeah. I wonder if go to one of.

[Byron]

Our doctors so we can have a.

[Brady]

Tithing before and she was out of the church. Maybe she stopped tithing.

[John]

So I don't know. But those headlines will grab my attention every time. Way over for Trump talks to Putin. Ukraine does this. Biden yells about the auto pen. AOC is yelling at something else. That Schumer's all over the place. Schumer's nuts. That weird Indian socialist is running New York. And I'm like, wait a minute.

[Brady]

Grand Canyon?

[John]

Yeah. Well that's. That's different. That's not political. That's. Who cares? Fires happen.

[Brady]

But you'll look, you'll look into that.

[John]

A little bit, maybe for 10 seconds. Like do I know the places that burn down? But it's not.

[Byron]

It's like Playboy.

[John]

You just look at the pictures exactly on the. That's perfect. That's exactly what it Fire at the Grand Canyon. AOC expose on Trump. And here we go. Cans and ass. Wait a minute. This is why I came to the party. Maybe Epstein a little bit. But even then you can't talk about that because it's tribal. I'm just. I'm into the basics and I'm, you know, I'm a basic fella. It gives me hope that. See, and there's another one just popped up on my phone. Onlyfans start rushed to the hospital after 583 man sex scene stunt. I'm reading that. I'm clicking on it. Trump talks to Putin. Like, are we at war? No.

[Brady]

All right.

[John]

I'm not going to understand that. Give me stuff. I get pretty awesome when you got that going. And then the other stuff that I'm interested in, I like the frivolous. I'm here for the last. Wait a minute. This guy's got a. Is the honey hole part of the organ donor program? I don't. There's a great question. Where do you get a New honey diamond. I need a doctor.

[Brady]

Synthetic flap. Is it a.

[John]

Is it. Is it. Is it lab produced, so to speak?

[Brady]

Kevlar?

[John]

Did they just fold it over and shoot in some like.

[Byron]

You botox it up like the. Like the gays do with the B hole.

[John]

Yeah, but you gotta add the spray pouch. I mean, you know what I mean? You gotta break it open and have the Juicy Juice or it's not authentic. Is that like Sunny D in there?

[Byron]

On there?

[Brady]

Philip, throw a little rain bird in there.

[John]

Yeah, you got to make it active like a. Like Vesuvius. All right, it's ready to go. Be careful. Don't do any teeter totters or anything. You might blow this thing up. It's fragile. You put a hymen back on. Are you in the Hyman? It's a great question. Michael Betts, Are you in a Hyman donor program? Do you watch TV and wait for hear about car accidents and call and go, Anybody donate their hymen? Like I want that. Vaginal do overs are. That's mad. It's possibly a great band name, but also, I don't know. I don't think that's like gay guys don't have anal do overs, do they?

[Byron]

I mean, what that Botox thing is.

[John]

No, that's so you can take it back. That's so it doesn't hurt as much.

[Byron]

I thought it put back into shape for the prolapsing.

[Brady]

Can they help?

[John]

They can mesh it up, I suppose. But I mean, that's not a do over. That's a repair. That's just full out. Like, you know, structural repair. That's what they're doing to the Diamondback Stadium next year. Upgrades. This is just flat out. Let's just pretend it's new. You're right. It's a kit car. You guys, you nailed it. It's basically rolling back the numbers on the odometer. I had my hyman put back together. Like, what the hell? What were you doing? Aaron said it's actually just flex seats stuff does everything. Yeah, it's true. Flex seal is an amazing product. Not so much the tape. The spray's okay and the glop is good, but the tape don't. Don't bother with the flex seal tape. That stuff doesn't work at all. Not even a little bit. I tried it on a hose that the dog took a. When bus was a puppy. Bit through a hose and I flex sealed over it. It just gooes under the tape and washes the tape away. That stuff doesn't work. For that.

[Brady]

Mine's still in the package. Good to know.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. Don't you have the tape?

[Brady]

Tape someone gave to, you know, a stocking stuffer.

[John]

Gloop. The. The GOP glove stuff. That gluey goo. That's good. And then the spray works good, but not on hoses and stuff. I do have the tape stuff. Yeah. The tube's really there. That stuff's good. I found that that is actually for PVC or sprinklers. Excellent stuff. It doesn't last forever. I'll say that. And in the sun, it dries up really. So I don't think it's built for Phoenix, but is Flex Seal the one where that guy sits in that house and screams about the water?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah. You can't do what he says. You can't make a boat out of tape and float around in it with. With a grown man in it. It's. There's no way I've used that stuff. It doesn't work. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. But flooding the house, he floods an entire home. Flex sealed home outside, not a drop gets inside. And there's fish and stuff hanging out in the windows. And it's like, no, I flex sealed it. It's all this water. And I'm like, there's no way. And actually read about that that he actually did flood a house. But it was a specifically built home that they put in this tank that was designed to not look like a submarine house. So they're like, of course. So it was more than just flex sealed. It was. The construction of this home was pretty impressive. And then to have truth in advertising, they flex sealed the windows and put some tape on the door and they're like, see, it's all Flex Seal. But really it was. It was Red October that they put, you know, a porch on. Either way, just a side note, Flex Seal not a great thing. Rebuilding Hyman. Give it a try, ladies.

[Byron]

And Ocean Gate should have bought some of that Flex Hill.

[John]

It been fine. Oh my God. They had a little bit of that inside and heard a couple of those crackers cracking. I got it. I got it. Just put it up there. Anyway, I was. I was. I was trying to be more advanced in life. I was trying to understand the world a little bit better. I was trying to say, you know what? Maybe tackle a topic or two. That. And then I see the boob thing and the Hyman thing and I'm like, nah, this is. This is what I do. This is where I. This is where I live. And I'm happy to live here. It's a nice escape from all that other stuff. Stuff you can't get away from anything. I don't even know what's going on anymore because it's all so fast. Remember we were mad two weeks ago and Iran. I don't think I. Like, I don't hear anything about it anymore. Like, we were, like, furious on whether or not this happened. I don't even know if that's still a thing.

[Byron]

Are they still around? I know they're still a country.

[John]

It seemed like that quieted everything down. Like, even Israel and Iran. Every day I'd go home and I'm looking at bombs thrown one where just kind of stopped.

[Brady]

It just. It's.

[John]

Well, and now we're on to something else. Well, I don't know. I don't.

[Brady]

For 24 hours. And then more drones come out.

[Byron]

Fans unite the world.

[John]

Yeah. Because we're paying attention to something else. It doesn't matter. I don't know what's going on over there. Nobody's telling me for. For a little bit, it was like everyone was over there. Anderson Cooper was. There were people just standing outside in Tel Aviv going, this is awful. Like, and we're going back now. Epstein like, okay. Puff Daddy, like, okay, so I'm no different.

[Brady]

Protesting is mellowed out a little bit.

[John]

He's that mad at the Palestinian Jew thing as much like, I'm pretty much, it's too hot here. We'll never know. But I'm like, yeah, there were marches and ice and people. Ah. And now they're kind of like, ah, it's too hot. I'm gonna go to the lake. I don't know what's going on.

[Brady]

Vacation.

[John]

So I think. I think I just kind of. I'm gonna pay attention to what I want to. Does it get all riled up for a week about, like, nuclear facilities? And you think, ah, nuclear. They've got to stop these nuclear facilities. What's that? Her boobs grew to £26. I don't care about nukes. Where's that? Has she been standing by that facility?

[Byron]

We've had nukes for years.

[John]

We'll get to it. We'll get to it. Where did these come from? Does she live by Palo Verde? What in the world causes that? Here's another one that caught my eye last night. You and I talked about it a little bit yesterday. I was warned, and a lot of guys are doing this, and it's a. It's a good thing. It's actually good now. I Have the testosterone levels of a 17 year old boy. It's dangerous. And that explains why these stories appeal to me. But at one point a few years ago, a guy said, you should try testosterone, see if you can get it to like its max. And we did. And then you realize that, that everything that testosterone does to your body when you're 17, your body wants it. When you're 50, your body doesn't. And it feels like you've got your penis feels like it's a baked potato in the microwave set on 11 minutes because it'll wake you in the middle of the night angry. It might as well have a turban on and an AK47. It's furious. Like it is when, when you've overdone your testosterone. It's furious. Like you'll just get these raging, angry Al Qaeda erections for no reason at all. My testosterone levels got to 1200, which I think is the max. And they're like, you're firing at 1200. This is like what a 16 year old doing like. Yeah. In the middle of the night. There was a third person in my house and it was a horrible creature who was like planning bombings and buying airline tickets and it was, he was awful. It felt like he was just gonna.

[Brady]

Riding in your pants.

[John]

I thought for a while he was good. Yeah, yeah. I was at, I was at the door and like, like Jesus, that's a big box the Amazon guy's bringing. He bought a paraglider and he had tickets to a show. I'm like, this thing is out of control. He was hateful, he was mean, he made me upset, he hurt me. I wake up in the middle of the night with just like, what the hell is going on down there? Hated it. But I was warned like if you got a lot of testosterone going and I was using the cream and I'm like, I don't need this. I don't think. But I was told, don't touch your dogs. Don't touch that wife of yours if you haven't thoroughly washed your hands and give it like 20 minutes after you've even washed your hands or you go touching anybody. No oral sex with Al Qaeda Boner. What? That dude is going to kill her. And cuz some girls will react and grow like a mustache. Like tomorrow, five o' clock shadow. Yeah, they'll get, they'll start. I got all these weird hairs going on my chest and yeah, that's me and Al Qaeda. That's me and Osama dick laden down there. So then you see a Dude on testosterone had just had a baby and the infant he was holding her, she.

[Brady]

Grew skin to skin.

[John]

She grew a wiener. The little dog infant baby grew a micro penis. Because dad, like she's developing constantly. A baby's always like everything's in motion. They're constantly growing stuff. Stark warning to parents exposing their children to potent products after a baby girl bizarrely grew a micro penis with cut after cuddling with dad.

[Brady]

So that's what they thought it was. Yeah, the doctor went in and said it, it, it in fact it's not. It just swelled up because of the female bits. And they made it look like a micro penis. They said, oh, what's going on and what's happening?

[John]

Well, that's what you think has happened? That's what the parents asked the doctors to say publicly. Since this story went public, somehow our doctors, like I'm telling the news because if your daughter grew a dick, the last thing you want is that on the newyorkpost.com yeah, especially if you're in Stockholm. Somebody leaked this information. So yeah, of course the parents are telling the doctors, get out there and tell them that didn't happen or daughter doesn't have a dick, you jerks. And fix, fix this.

[Byron]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Brett]

The choice is simple, Brett. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. And we have Ammo Inc. 9 millimeter hollow for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Byron]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Brett]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

Well, according to them, they figured out it was the testosterone gel.

[John]

Sure.

[Brady]

And so they got rid of it.

[John]

Right.

[Brady]

Micro went on way again.

[John]

You're buying it because why would the news know any of this? Yeah, why would the news know any of this? Suddenly they're like, look at this little girl grew micro penis because of testosterone. The parents are like stop telling the people all about that. And then they went, oh, sorry about that. No, we fixed it. That little girl doesn't have a dick. Don't bother that family. That's exactly how that happens. Because if, you know, God forbid, your daughter grew a dick and it made the news, you'd fight tooth and nail to tell that news. We fixed. Fixed it. It wasn't at all what you were saying. Yeah, it was. She grew a little dick and that's exactly what happened. I know we fixed that. Don't worry about it too. But why, why put out the warning then? We were wrong. They were. They put out a warning saying, don't touch your kids. I was told that. Don't touch babies, don't touch dogs.

[Byron]

No problem with that.

[John]

Don't, don't bother your wife on this stuff. It'll help grow things. Well, even people have already developed. Developed, can imagine with a baby, like with a dog?

[Brady]

A ten month old baby.

[John]

Yeah, with a dog. They said, don't touch the dog if you've got any of that stuff on your hands because it'll make them super aggressive. It can change their personality like in a heartbeat. And I'm like. And I know that to be true because this cream has made my dick the number two in Al Qaeda. It was the meanest penis on the planet. It was like Mike Tyson in my pants. He was angry all the time and furious. Like nothing was pleasurable. It wasn't enough. You couldn't please him. All right, I'll do it. Jesus Christ, leave me alone. He threw up all over the place. And he'd look back and he goes, do it again. I can go away for five minutes. Give me ten minutes without you. No. I run this place now. I am the captain. Oh, crap. And every morning I'd get up and he'd be asleep and I'd rub that stuff on my balls and I'd see that eye open up. Lazy. Yes, more juice, please. And the next thing you know, I got Barry Bonds down there. He was furious. If you've got erectile issues where it's not what it used to be, then your testosterone still, you know, it would be low. They'd bring it back. Don't go to 1200 if you're, trust me. Get up to 7 or 8 where you belong. That's high. That's still good. 12 is scary. I had a buddy who was at 40, like his dick was droopy dog. And I had Mike Tyson going, it was terrible. He's like, Yeah, I got 40, I don't know what to do. And stressed out at work and all this. And he went to testosterone. Got it to like 300, 350 and stuff. He goes, it works again. It's good. I'm like, dude, you don't want anything to do with 1200. That's a roller coaster ride for pros. I wasn't prepared for it post middle of the night ones. Oh, I'm telling you, it, it was. It hurt nothing. But I didn't touch dogs. I didn't touch people. Like, I. It was like a doctor going into surgery for like 15 minutes after I applied everything. Soap and water, Lava soap. I'm doing it like I was just cleaning an engine. Go out of there and walk away. Man oh man trouble. So just a warning. And also it'll. You know, I read between the lines of these news stories. I can recognize a couple cover up pretty much better than anybody. End of. The doctors say they may have been wrong. Well, then why are we still talking about it? Nothing to do with that. The little girl just puffed up a little bit. The penis. The penis is gone. That little girl over there in Sweden doesn't have a dick. That's crazy.

[Brady]

The beard is natural, right?

[John]

Meanwhile, she's Italian and now they just put grew micro penis in quotes and grew a little dick for a day or two. No big deal. No, she grew a dick. You guys effed up. You tried to correct it. You took some of the swelling down with a couple shots of, you know, some sort of NSAID or something. You popped in there and ibuprofen. The micro penis went down to manageable size. And he told, don't touch your daughter anymore with that stuff on your hands. And that's it. If you've got a baby and you're on testosterone, don't touch it. It'll grow a dick. It happened in Sweden. It didn't happen in Sweden. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you guys were in the three days. It was a mistake. Then sue everyone. No, we can't sue because it's true that for three days she had a dick. Your daughter had a dick. Oh, that's a good band name right there. Your daughter had a dick. But these are the stories that catch my attention. You guys go ahead and waste your time with Putin and Netanyahu. I keep my eye on it, but mainly just headlines. I'm those news stories I reading head to toe. I'm going top to bottom on that. Brady, you can believe the COVID up all you want. That makes it a more beautiful thing. But that ain't real. There's no way that's real. We in two days figured out the how to get the penis to Go away. No, you didn't. Just stop asking the question. Leave it at the familiar beat. Misses A Tad Ball, we've got a problem. I think it's hilarious. And what's worse is you had to notice it. Honey, have you cleaned the baby? Yeah. Why? I don't know.

[Brady]

There's a dangly.

[John]

There's a dick on her now. Have you seen that? What? My God, she's right. That's a dick. Oh, daughter of mine will have a dick. Daughter. Take her to a Swedish hospital immediately. Doctor, we've noticed a dick growing off our daughter. What? Even the doctor be like, let me see it. What? You're right. Get everybody in here. Call the news.

[Brady]

What caused this?

[John]

We know what caused it. Yeah, Troy's in there. The news just called. Said daughter had a dick. Grew it, like, overnight. And then they're like, oh, we shouldn't have called the news. We gotta. We gotta lie and make this right. Her Daughter has a Dick. The Daughter Has a Dick is a great band name. That is a great band. Anyway. And if your daughter has a dick, I apologize, because some of your daughters. Daughters do. I've seen the China video. Some of them grow one. And if you're out there right now driving, going, jesus Christ, that's me. Hey, I'm not making fun of all of them. I don't want to see it. And if you ever whipped it out, I'd be like, you're good. There's like, websites you can go to to watch ladies have the whole thing reshaped. One lady was on there talking about, like, she can't run because it hurts too much because it's hanging down through. It's chafing. So she's getting a whole bunch cut off.

[Byron]

She's gotta get a little, like a jock strap type thing up there to hold it up or what?

[John]

Yeah, I mean, gotta jock up. Otherwise that thing will flop out and start banging in like, two. It's like two tortillas in the sun. And after a while it's gonna dry up and just crust. Oh, you heard me. And I don't know, ladies, I need to hear from one of you. Email me holmberg0pd.com when you got them hangers, downers. Do you flap it up like a burrito at Chipotle and then put underwear over it? How do you. How do you encase it? Is it a swaddle? Do you swaddle it?

[Brady]

I think it just. I don't know, Pack it in there.

[John]

You gotta. Yeah, you gotta.

[Byron]

Like a burrito supreme. Talk about.

[John]

You ever see those people, that Taco Bell, they roll the end and then they get the two sides over and it never breaks. Like I think that's what these ladies have to do when they've got the, the. The, you know, flour tortillas.

[Brady]

Much different from us, you know, putting on underwear.

[John]

Yes, it is.

[Brady]

You know, outside exposure.

[John]

Do you. Have you seen women's underwear?

[Brady]

It's tighter.

[John]

It's a little. It's thin too. If you've got try putting your balls in there. That's what they'd have to do.

[Brady]

Yeah. I don't know if they're thonging up necessarily. Yeah, I guess they could.

[Byron]

Or what.

[John]

Think of your balls going into a regular lady underwear. It's not even the thongs. And then tuck it in there. It's tight so it doesn't fall out. So it's a bathing suit.

[Brady]

I mean the.

[John]

Tuck it in with a bathing suit. Give it a run. These poor ladies with this thing. They've got a lot of work to do to. Every time they pee they got to do a fold over and it's like they're folding shirts at the Gap.

[Brady]

It's got to be just right. Can't wear that.

[John]

You're not the most experienced man in this regard. But I think Brett may be able to back stuff I have been and have seen at as have you. I assume a girl who in underwear seems fine, but when the underwear is off, I don't know. It looks like it was smoking a joke cigar. The thing just blew up. It was everywhere. But in bathing suits and stuff. It's not like she didn't show up in a pair of men's underpants and go, wait till you see this. Like it was. It was packaged nicely. Have you seen that?

[Byron]

Oh yeah.

[John]

You've seen the.

[Byron]

Oh yeah. I want a beef wet dip.

[John]

It the reveal of the Portillo's that falls off of this girl's underwear. And for a while there it looked flat and normal and everything was okay. And then there's. There's like sarlaccs and like weird things coming out of it. I don't even know what that is. Tony Romas. I won't even give her name because it's not fair. But man, oh man, that thing was everywhere and I wasn't even like having sex with her. She decided that to reveal it to all of us at an apartment pool party. Drop dropped him and out came the thing. It was horrible. But in the bathing suit, why did.

[Brady]

She want to reveal that?

[John]

She. I don't think she thought it was unusual. She was hot and she had her chipotle burrito all packed into this. It was a red bathing suit and it looked great. Everything about her was great. Let's get naked. One of the drunk girls, probably the girl I was dating, like okay. All the girls took their clothes off and she was like 23 and it looked like she had just given birth that day.

[Byron]

So it had to take her 10 minutes to pack it all in that suit.

[John]

We didn't want your pack it in. But yeah, there was a pack in. It's like a parachute. Oh, pack your own. I mean it was.

[Byron]

Gotta call Ron Capps up to sit.

[John]

There and start rolling that thing. Roll his own. Make sure that this thing works. It was. And she wasn't in Speedos. It was a totally normal thing. She had the. It was all good to. It wasn't. I feel for those ladies and they're on. And the ones that'll agree for the discount to get it fixed to go on like YouTube. There's videos of them. They have like tik tok pages dedicated like hey, take a look at this. If you got one of these we can fix it. Like wow.

[Byron]

Definitely had the Portillo's.

[John]

Oh, the wet dim. Yeah. And it was oddly enough. Oh, this is going to make people's breakfast. It was the same color. No. Come on in this morning. 6:31.

[Brady]

Go in and get it hemmed.

[John]

There you go. Yeah. It's like taking in jeans that you borrowed. These are too long. Brady's had to hem a lot of pants. Hen I bet you did as a kid have to hem all your pants. Oh yeah, yeah. Hemming was important to you. Now imagine that's attached to back, you know.

[Brady]

And then you went through the phase where cuffs were in.

[John]

No, you, you had to cuff up to you knees though. Those. They didn't make pants for you. Like there's no way they made 40 22s. They didn't happen.

[Brady]

I've never seen those on the shelves.

[John]

No. Yeah, those are. Yeah, but if you did you'd have been like finally. Yeah, go to Walmart for that or something. I think these are shorts but I don't know. Bermuda shorts. And then cuff them. Brady's. Brady's legs are so short. He had to hem his shorts. He was stepping on. On him. Let's get a Wake up song. 585-9800 a good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 Kup Wake Up. It's out of control now 98.