07-17-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: July 17, 2025

Hosted by John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo

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1. Morning Chat and Charity Initiatives

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg introducing the day's slight deviation due to the presence of the station's owners in town. He mentions that the temperature will soar to 100 degrees, leading to a more subdued show to avoid scrutiny from the owners.

A significant portion of the discussion centers around the ongoing Operation Hydration, a charity drive supporting the Phoenix Rescue Mission. John proudly announces that the team has raised over 500,000 bottles of water so far and aims to reach 1 million bottles by Labor Day. He emphasizes the collective effort and encourages listeners to contribute:

"We are halfway to a million bottles. If we can get to 500,000 from here till Labor Day, bam, we do this, we get a million bottles."
[Release Date: 21:38]
— John Holmberg

Brett Vesely provides updates from the field, reporting substantial donations and thanking contributors:

"We got envelopes showing up like crazy. Somebody from some lady from the city of Tempe dropped by 10 cases for us."
[Release Date: 22:02]
— Brett Vesely

2. Interactive Segment: "What's That Sound?"

The hosts engage in their popular game, "What's That Sound?" where listeners guess peculiar noises. In this episode, the sound was humorously identified as someone trying to extract the last bits of mustard from a jar. The segment is filled with playful banter and laughter:

"Somebody trying to get the last little bits of mustard out of the jar."
[Release Date: 08:00]
— John Holmberg

3. Relationship Advice: Navigating Friends with Benefits

John reads an email from a listener, Marcus, seeking advice on managing a friend with benefits relationship that’s getting complicated. The discussion navigates the challenges of setting boundaries and the emotional turmoil involved:

"A friend with benefits is somebody you can say out loud, that's enough. We're done. Go."
[Release Date: 12:06]
— John Holmberg

Brady adds insights on maintaining boundaries:

"You gotta play by the rules. And if you start seeing a Neil Armstrong situation, it's time for a talk."
[Release Date: 14:21]
— Brady Bogen

4. Skepticism Towards Paranormal Claims

The hosts express their disbelief and critique of paranormal activities, particularly targeting the infamous Annabelle doll. They debunk myths and question the validity of ghost-induced incidents:

"A ghost has been responsible for absolutely zero deaths."
[Release Date: 32:23]
— John Holmberg

"Psychics aren't real. Life coaches are thieves. People who chase ghosts for a living are idiots."
[Release Date: 35:30]
— John Holmberg

5. Giant Babies and Social Media Trends

A humorous yet critical discussion ensues about the resurgence of "giant babies" as a social media trend. The hosts reminisce about similar phenomena from the past and express skepticism about their authenticity and societal impact:

"You can go check it out. I think that's the same one I'm looking at. Is it okay? The football, the fat babies, the giant babies are back now."
[Release Date: 52:33]
— John Holmberg

"They're back, and there was like a whole thing yesterday, and you click on one and you get 25 different stories about."
[Release Date: 53:34]
— Brady Bogen

6. Health Awareness: The Dangers of Choking on Steak

An informative segment discusses the "Steakhouse Syndrome," highlighting the risks of choking on steak, especially among the elderly and young children. John shares anecdotes and emphasizes the importance of proper chewing:

"Chew your food thoroughly or just skip the steak altogether."
[Release Date: 46:48]
— John Holmberg

"It's incredibly dangerous. And I can tell you from experience of what I do deal with."
[Release Date: 46:51]
— John Holmberg

7. Critique of the ESPYs and Sports Awards

The hosts critique the significance and execution of the ESPY Awards, questioning their relevance and the authenticity of the awards. They express frustration with the show's format and the perceived disconnect between sports excellence and entertainment:

"Nobody, no sports fan I know wants to watch that."
[Release Date: 72:03]
— John Holmberg

"Simone Biles getting best. Like, do you think that she won that gold medal and said, I'm definitely getting an ESPN."
[Release Date: 73:35]
— Brady Bogen

8. Casual Banter and Listener Interactions

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in light-hearted and often irreverent banter. They discuss personal anecdotes, poke fun at each other, and interact with guest Mike Vecchion, who updates on the charity efforts and shares his experiences at Safeway:

"It's a lot for Brett. This is truly what charity looks like."
[Release Date: 82:03]
— John Holmberg

"We got envelopes showing up like crazy. Somebody from some lady from the city of Tempe dropped by 10 cases for us."
[Release Date: 82:03]
— Brett Vesely

9. Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

As the show wraps up, John reiterates the importance of the charity drive and thanks the listeners for their contributions. The hosts emphasize their commitment to Operation Hydration despite the chaotic and humorous nature of the show.

"We're running through Operation Hydration this year. And you guys have really jumped in that Saya group just dropped off another giant truck of water here in our lobby."
[Release Date: 133:13]
— John Holmberg

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Notable Quotes:

• "We are halfway to a million bottles. If we can get to 500,000 from here till Labor Day, bam, we do this, we get a million bottles."
  — John Holmberg [21:38]

• "A ghost has been responsible for absolutely zero deaths."
  — John Holmberg [32:23]

• "Chew your food thoroughly or just skip the steak altogether."
  — John Holmberg [46:48]

• "Nobody, no sports fan I know wants to watch that."
  — John Holmberg [72:03]

• "You're still doing adult stuff."
  — John Holmberg [110:07]

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness blends charity work with humorous and candid discussions on various topics, from relationship dilemmas to critiques of paranormal beliefs and sports awards. The hosts maintain an engaging and entertaining dynamic, ensuring listeners are both informed and amused throughout the show.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holberg here and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins dot com. If I told you I had an idea for a project and said to you in order to finish the project, We've got about 10 steps to go through and seven or eight of them are time consuming and could ruin the entire thing. Doug Hopkins, he offers you cash for your home as is right now, and that process is over. He doesn't change that price or you get $5,000 guaranteed, your house is sold. Start the purch process online right now@dough hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing. Call Doug Hopkins. 1800 sale now. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. For crying out loud. Here we are on Thursday already. It's 5:45. Yes, the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. Our owners are in town. It's. The temperature will be 100 degrees and we're not gonna do too much today. We're not going to do much of a show today because when the owners are in town, they look at you and they watch and they nitpick and then it's so. It's annoying. We don't really. Next thing you know, you're in a room, you're getting talked to, lawyers, God knows what else. It's gonna be a real bland show this morning. Yeah.

[Brady]

Can we play Mack the Knife?

[John Holmberg]

We might play a little Mac. The Bobby Darren coming up in just a few minutes. To appease this morning, we're gonna play a game. What was that noise anyway? We're having a great time in here, folks. Wasn't that fun? Brett, what's that noise? Coming up at 7:00'. Clock. You're crazy. What's traffic look like this morning? Traffic's out there this morning. All the roads have cars on them. Be careful. Watch out for other cars. Yeah. You never know when the big bosses are in town, if they're in a good mood or a bad mood. And I'm not giving them any ammunition. So we'll just do something real. Bo. Ah, go listen to something else. I think. Come on the van with me. You know what? What the hell, I might. We'll just leave this thing running. Yeah, that's fine. And every once in a while, Toledo, answer the phone and be like, all right, it's 7:30 a. It's time for you to watch out for other cars. If there's cars on the road, if it's slow, if there's brake lights, you hit yours too. Okay, that's traffic.

[Brady]

Sales area is very clean.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. It's spotless. Yeah, it's awful. And you never. Yeah, they could come in all, you know, wild hares and they could come start going. Didn't like that thing Brady said. Give me your shoes. Like what? That's the fine of shoes again. Yeah. Gotta give up your shoes. I don't care for this Brett character. Give me your car keys. Start.

[Dale]

You know.

[John Holmberg]

There we go. Randomly making you do stuff. Stuff you did. I don't want to make a mad start pulling that ultimate power nonsense. And crazy. So how was your night last night, Brie? I had a pleasant evening.

[Brady]

It was delightful.

[John Holmberg]

Did you. Did you have a family event?

[Brady]

Slept most of the evening.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, did you? That sounds nice. Let's recreate that real quick, shall we? Go ahead. Yeah, let's. What did that.

[Brady]

Oh, no, there's no storm.

[John Holmberg]

Well, not anymore. Oh, that's right. Yeah. There's that CPAP just making you breathe. Oh, he's in heaven. You can see it, Brad. It's wonderful.

[Brady]

It's total bliss.

[John Holmberg]

It is bliss. And that's what we shoot for. Here is bliss. That's nice. That was nice, Brady. Thanks for sharing.

[Brady]

You got it.

[John Holmberg]

I enjoyed it.

[Brady]

It was crazy.

[John Holmberg]

What's the time? Oh, yeah, it's 5:48 here. There's still traffic and probably more people are gonna be waking up and getting on there. Watch out for other cars. Always. The John Holmberg reminder is watch out for other cars. Hey, does anybody like whiskey? Do you have a fave? I'll express my favorites at 8am this morning. And then on the tens, we'll do your top five things later. Morning letters from Mom. We're gonna read the letters that my mom sent. It's gonna be great.

[Brady]

And what about the math question?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we're gonna have. That's right, 10th caller. Well, I see the old me almost popped up and said, it's time for the Asian celebration. But I'm not gonna do that this morning. We have the math game on Thursday. Everybody does that when they're. When their owners and bosses come to town and you just get that. That weird little smile from the one who's like, second or third in charge. Not ever the big wig, but the second and third in charge. You know, the little stoolies that wander around with the owner and act like they've got just as much juice. You gotta kinda like look at them. Like, ugh. And they heard that thing you did this morning. A lot of great stuff. Scott Farkas and his buddy. Yeah. From a Christmas store. Yeah, Toadies. All owners carry like two toadies with them at all times.

[Brady]

A posse.

[John Holmberg]

There's one toady who's always loud. Hey, what's going on everybody? The handshake guy and the finger guns. Oh yeah, there's that toady. And then the other toady who's just. He looks like he just crawled out of a shire or something. And he's like. He's. If it wasn't for the suit, you'd think maybe he might be a monster. I should keep the. Oh, by the way, it's 5:40 and 5:50. The seconds just clicked over another minute as. As life barrels on like a runaway train. And speaking of, the freeway has cars on it. Be careful. Be careful out there, folks. We don't like cars. And the worst thing. We can hear another car hitting a car. Oh my. That means traffic slows down for all the other cars. Traffic, Traffic and weather on the ones. Should we phone a friend? We should. Yeah. You know what? If you've got a friend to meet this morning, we'll definitely talk. Robert says today's show just do fireside chats on the hour, every hour. Today's special. Good God. Nice. Not turning this thing over to you morons. Batman said we should just pull a Beth and just play Christmas music the whole day. Great idea. That is a great idea. Can't get in trouble for Christmas music, can you? No. Ratings juggernauts. And when they hate you and they got their eye on you, you get really weirded out. So it's 5:51. I'm just gonna keep giving you the time. I'm just basically your. Watch out loud. I'm just gonna. I'm your phone. Hey, looks like you got a. Hey, Brady. This morning at about 6:08. Cause we can time things that well. It's the only business in the world that actually does that besides airlines. But we're actually staying at 6:08 this morning. We're gonna take a look at the front of your phone. What? What's John talking about? The front of your phone? Hey, let's take a look at that message. The messages that you get for your emails and for your text. Oh my. Is there a little red? How many messages do you have? Which one are you? A guy who's got 300,000 emails. He hasn't looked at. Or a guy who keeps it clean.

[Brady]

It's time for phone hacks.

[John Holmberg]

Phone hacks. We're gonna have a mom on this morning. Gives us some kitchen hacks. The things you can do with dish towel. You've just scratched the surface, my friend.

[Brady]

Next five minutes, let's just watch the sun rise.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do it together. Phoenix. Time for the sun to come up. That's nice. There it is. And again, a reminder that we're one day closer to dying. Okay. Yeah. Every time the sun comes up, it's another day. You're closer to the end. Which side of the hill are you on, the down or the up? All right, we'll discuss that at 8:03. It makes me realize how much I hate radio. That that's actual thing. There's shows that do that.

[Brady]

Hold your hand out. That's the lifeline right there.

[John Holmberg]

By the by, you're gonna meet somebody. Oh, wow. We're doing palm readings. That's even beneath my fake me. Fake me. Might even turn into a prick about that. I'm not doing any palm reading on the air.

[Brady]

No lifeline. You're gonna die.

[John Holmberg]

The funny thing is, all the things that I just joked about are things I've actually heard on the radio within the last month. Letters from my mom. What. What was that noise? And leave it to a girl show to do. What was that noise? Cause they're the first ones to start shaking you in bed going, what was that? What was that? Here's a sound that happens in your house every day. And it's not gonna be gross. It's okay. It's just some dude, a hammer. And, like, nobody does that every day.

[Brady]

Let's see. You're broad. That's a vacuum.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Brad, Brad, you're not playing along. It's broad. It's a broad vacuuming. Oh, it's just a vacuum, sir. It's not a broad vacuuming. Well, then what kind of vacuum is it? A twin? No, no, no. It's just a vacuum. Anybody can use a vacuum. Not. I got this. This is an immediate question for us. The first email I read this morning, it came in at 5:37am wow. No, no. This is it. We're off at. We're off at. Damn it. Now we're gonna play what's that sound? I had one ready to go. Oh, you got a sound for us? Okay, well, screw it. I'll get to that email a little bit. Even those guys in peril. It's time to play Brett's Watch that sound. Okay, are we ready? 5:53. We gotta do traffic and weather real quick. Traffic at 5:53 is more cars. Here's that sound. Oh, no, Brett. Oh, no. That's not. Boo to Brett. Boo. Somebody trying to get the last little bits of mustard out of the jar.

[Brady]

That was gross.

[John Holmberg]

And evidently they're frustrated by the mustard there. Let's hear that sound again and we'll give you tickets to go see Black Flag. Oh, yeah, that's nice. They're still going. Come. There's that nut boys out of mustard. Frustrating when you're trying to have a ham sandwich. I don't know what. Yeah, I know. And the guy's squeezing his. Listen to the effort he's putting in. Oh, man. Ice tells you what, Brett, you just lost a pair of shoes anyway. All right, Just. Just know that we've got owners in town and it changes everything. And then all the other people. Everybody gets. We've talked about it before. We get so fake and weird. I'm going to collect water. Stand around for this. I'm jealous. They might find you some water on that one. If you start that fart sound again, you're gonna offend. That wasn't a fart, by the way. No, it was. Let's go back to what's that sound? Brad? Let's play it one more time. The folks seem to be struggling with it.

[Dale]

I lost my sound, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

I thought for sure it was the ketchup bottle. Brett. Brett tells us it's the Dijon.

[Brady]

Play it again.

[John Holmberg]

There's something else. I don't know what. We gotta. Let's just clear it up. Brady and I are at a loss over here with what's that sound? This morning at 5:56. There, there. Sandwich. She's clearly getting the knife out to spread the mustard. And then spreading something here I can't quite place. Well, my goodness. I.

[Brady]

Is it reaching into a jug of Mighty Putty?

[John Holmberg]

What's that sound? It almost sounds like the mustard is breathing. Oh, hey, let's. Let's confuse the owner if we say something stupid today. Let's just confuse him and do every. Anyway, that's what that said. And Twinks are always wrong. We'll be right back. 933 get Izzy in trouble. Anyway, we frame.

[Toledo]

We frame her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I heard on what's that? Something John wouldn't play.

[Toledo]

What's that sound?

[John Holmberg]

That must have been. That sounds like a stupid radio bit that dumb radio shows do. What's that sound? Letters consultants.

[Toledo]

At the end of the day, what a Great bit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that watch that sounds gonna take over the nation. People are playing it at home. I was at home. I watched the guy blindfold his wife and then tried to get some mustard. What's that? Are they playing at home, Brady? They play it at home.

[Brady]

We'll take it to the next level.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we'll do something. This is the email. It's. It's time. It's time sensitive. Says that. Boys, I have my friend with benefit here at the house right now as we speak. As I email you. I just told her I had to get to work at 7 so it's time for her to get up and go. Now keep in mind he sent this at 5:36. So he gets up really early to be to work at 7. It says she said she was gonna sleep in and rolled over and I got a little upset because that's not what this relationship is. A friend with benefits is somebody you can say out loud, that's enough. We're done. Go. I went in the bathroom, I took a shower and when I came out, she had an amazing black thong on. So I immediately wasn't mad. And I smashed again. Then I climbed back. I climbed back in the shower, came out, she's asleep again. She thinks she can stay. How do I handle this, Marcus? Well, first off, when you want to put your foot down and you say hey, you gotta go and she doesn't leave and then can you come back in and she, she just. She just hostage negotiated you. She put that song on and said if I give him some smash then and I can stick around, I don't have to worry about.

[Brady]

You want your friend with benefits still do happen or you want to.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you can't get you. That is a deal with friends with benefits.

[Brady]

Yeah, right on that bubble. She's getting comfortable enough.

[John Holmberg]

She's starting to become like she's. She's staking her claim. She's Neil Armstrong and they call that. She's Neil Armstrong in your house. She's about to put a flag in. It's like you at your purple leaf umbrella. Yeah, my purple leaf umbrella. Yeah, yeah. Stick it in the ground because you don't have a base. That's what she's. She's got a hammer on top of that, by the way. It's 558. I don't like talking about this dirty stuff. God knows what could happen. So old me would say, you can't kill her so you got to be nice to her. But stop smashing her when you're trying to put Your foot down because you just gave her the green light to stick around that black thong, though. You know the black thong's tough. Come on. Yeah, you go back here, you come out and go. That's enough. I'll take a shower. And I want you dressed and out of here when I'm done. Comes out of the shower. Whoa. I'm gonna smash that. You just told her everything's fine. And you allowed Neil to put the flag in a little deeper.

[Brady]

You just get him by the shower.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we're done. Let's go, let's go. Let's go, toots. By the way, the bed ain't gonna make itself. I'm hungry too. That was offensive. Anyway, we'll be right back.

[Dale]

93.

[John Holmberg]

3. I'm not gonna not stop playing. Every time we say something dumb. Today, that's happening again. Let's try to play what's that sound? My goodness. Still haven't figured it out. Looking for caller number 300. It's awful. Anyway, you got a friend with benefits. You gotta. You gotta play by the rules. And if you start. If you start seeing a Neil Armstrong situation, it's time for a talk. Don't you think she know that it.

[Brady]

Was comfort level benefits, though, or.

[John Holmberg]

It's been ages since I've had friends with benefits. That didn't last long for me anyway. Cuz I hated her. She hated me. We hated each other. At last. It was a Tony Romas thing and she hated me and I hated her. But for whatever reason, we hooked up and it was fantastic and it was just awful. But once it was done, it's like, oh, it was like somebody poured bleach on my face afterwards. I was like, I just want. This is like painful. I want away from you. I hate you.

[Brady]

And you never had the crossroads of I'm leaving my. You know, it's at your place or whatever and you're leaving.

[John Holmberg]

There was no issue with either sticking around. She hated me too. That was awesome.

[Brady]

So he's at that level where.

[John Holmberg]

And by the way, my place was my mom and dad's house. House. So there was never that.

[Brady]

Your dad had to go.

[John Holmberg]

She had a cruddy apartment. My dad would have been like, my turn, boy, get out of here. You're making everybody uncomfortable. You don't bring your house. Anyway, that was not right to say I'm sorry. 93 3. Sorry about that. No, no, no. Not time for that. Not time for that. Yeah. So she hated me and I hated her. We ended up at a Burger King parking lot. Oh, you are nothing but clowns not to do that. I was taking her to dinner. What are you, Humpty Hump over here?

[Toledo]

I was taking her to dinner.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we made it in a Burger King batch. Let me give you a Whopper. Stop it. You guys are taking it too far. No. So we were in the. We parked in the Burger King. We were gonna. We were gonna leave, and I looked at her and we're going back to her apartment. And I just remember her looking at me like, ugh. And I'm used to that. Most people look at me like that. But then I just said, no, I don't think we should. And she goes, me neither. And I'm like, all right. And she got out and I left. I, to this day, don't know what she did the rest of that night because her car wasn't there. I took her over there. We stopped off to get. I was going to get a chicken sandwich. I was just starving. Today it was after work and we were going to go back to replacement. We would out out loud, say we hate each other. Why do we keep doing this? I mean, I have no idea. But you couldn't be more right. Like, your personality is the worst. She smacked me at work once. Whoa. Oh, I know. What are you doing? Oh. She was like, if you were. Put it into today's terms, it would be like. And I'm not this. But it would have been the equivalent of a full on maga hat wearing person and like an AOC supporter and. Toledo. Yeah, yeah, Toledo. And a woman who loves Trump. Like, loved Trump. He can't do anything wrong.

[Toledo]

And.

[John Holmberg]

But the sexual chemistry happened once and they. They didn't want to put that down. But every time they were in a room together, they just like, everything she said was stupid. And I felt the same way because she thought she was so smart. Oh, she was in. She was from Portland. And this was before we knew Portland. Like, this is back in the 90s when we didn't know Portland was awful and filled with weirdos. I mean, it wanted to let us know, but we weren't paying attention to it and she was horrible. So I just left in the Burger King. We stopped off at Burger King, grabbed a quick snack, and I was like, I don't want to go to your house because I don't want you to come to my house. I'm like, that's it. And then she just got out of the car. No, Uber? No, there was none of that yet. Just dropped her off and I have no idea. She was at work. The next time I saw her, she quit a couple weeks later. Not because of me. She didn't want to be there anymore. And I think she moved back to Oregon. I don't know.

[Brady]

Trees were calling her.

[John Holmberg]

We hated each other. Hated each other. But it kept going. But we had a very clean rule of like, no, no, no. And she. There was no threat of her, Neil Armstrong and me. And she had no threat of me doing it to her. It's weird.

[Brady]

If you'd like to try again, we'll pay for it.

[John Holmberg]

No. Yeah. It's only gonna cost us a chicken sandwich, for Christ's sake. No big deal. Careful, careful. Language. Oh, sorry.

[Dale]

93.

[John Holmberg]

3. I like this. I like this a lot. Anyway, so. Yeah, so if you've got that going on, you're not supposed to bring her to your house anyway. There's that rule. Go there. Then you can leave one guarantee. Way to make it so she can't Armstrong your house, right? You don't show it.

[Brady]

Parents house. So he's safe there.

[John Holmberg]

Well, not me. We're talking about the guy on the email. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never took that girl to my. My mom and dad's. That was weird.

[Toledo]

Dad.

[John Holmberg]

I was like 22. 3. Something like that. And the tail end of being at mom and dad's. My dad was, you know, he. He was out of town most of the time. Just say. Was he up weightlifting already? No, he was. He's still doing that. But I was lifting weights and I saw you brought in a. No, she's not. You're right. You'd hate her, dad. She's awful.

[Brady]

She had to spot him on the way out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she was a. Like, you would take pictures of this one and send it to TMZ today. This was one of those. I. It wasn't Skittles girl, right? Oh, no, no. Skittles was different. Skittles was a little bit hotter. Oh, right. But of course, Skittles wiped back the front and we. Well, let's not discuss that. Let's not talk.

[Dale]

93.

[John Holmberg]

3. Stop it. Stop it. What time is it? We'll be right back. It's a 604. Traffic, traffic, traffic. And the sun is up anyway, so. Yeah, Skittles was a bad one. And her nickname rhymed with Skittles because of all the little toilet paper balls. That was. Yeah, that was weird. You only find that out the hard way. Way you find that out the hard way. That's no fun. Anyway, hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[Toledo]

98 HBurg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

I got a text late last night from one of our sales ladies that thinks it's okay to text me whenever she wants. And it was like 11, 11:30. Heather just goes. By the way, I just heard from the Phoenix rescue mission on tech. Like, you didn't just hear from anybody. This was like hours ago. You're probably three bottles of wine in and you decided to start spewing out what happened at work today at midnight. And she's lucky because I'm one of those people that stays up on. So we are. It was good information. It just happened to be at the weirdest time. We are halfway to a million bottles. No kidding. We are halfway to a million bottles of water for the. It's gotta be a record this early. Well, we're almost ex. Halfway through it. Next. Next week we'll mark the exact halfway part. So we are ahead of the game. If we can keep this together and do another half. I mean, that's amazing because I. Last year we only did like 790, and it was a huge year. But I don't think we got off to the start. Last year we got over five.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We're over 500,000 bottles of water thanks to you guys out there and all the businesses and stuff that have helped out. That's amazing. 500,000 bot water for the Phoenix Rescue mission. Because again, as I always say, fifth largest city in the nation should never have people who can't get a glass of water and it. And it harms them physically or kills them. And that's just what's been counted for so far. We got a ton in our lobby. Dr. J. Schwartz has a bunch. Local legends has a bunch that we haven't turned in yet. I mean, out there. He's absolutely right. Yeah. Dr. J. Schwartz hasn't turned his. But that doesn't count for ours because that's his by himself. Oh, okay. I got yelled at by the sales department for that. Oh, okay. Okay. They're not going to participate without, like, they're participating. I don't care about charity.

[Brady]

They're in, but we can't include it.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't count towards our numbers. Water will, and it absolutely will. Yeah. And I don't care if Dr. J. Schwartz is like, I want nothing to do with you. I'd still talk about them helping out because it's all going to the same charity. So why are we competitive about sales and money when it's about charity? I never understood it. If you're trying to be Decent people. It shouldn't matter if your biggest competitor is helping you out. Talk about him. And Dr. J. Schwartz. Isn't that he. I love that guy. He's awesome. And that whole operation up there is great. So they're doing it. If you have anything to drop off, go to them. And don't listen to people here who are bean counting. This has everything to do with. With doing the right thing. And you guys have done it in a huge way. So that's massive. 500,000 bottles. Brett goes out again this morning, and we get another 500,000 started. So let's just cut it off here. We hit our 500,000 at the halfway point. We got to do it again. So it doesn't sound as daunting, Right? So if we can get to 500,000 from here till Labor Day, bam, we do this, we get a million bottles. And there's absolutely nothing at the end of that other than, yay, we did it. But that's a pretty nice feeling of yay, we did it. Goals are awesome. So haven't hit that. Or if we can. I still say, and this is just me being an idiot, we're going to fall short. It is a massive task. You don't realize. We got 500,000 now, though. Over 500. It's insane. We'll do it.

[Brady]

Brett, where are you going today? Cottonwood.

[John Holmberg]

I'm close today. Yeah, I think I gotta look, double check, but I'm pretty sure I'm on rural and over there at that Safeway on rural and Apache. Move that I believe. Or Broadway. Look at you. Yeah, you're right down the road. That's not so bad. East side, show up. Let's do this. You get to stand out in this beautiful weather that we're not used to. All right, well, there you go. Yeah. I'm just saying thank you early, because this is awesome. And I went on that little walkabout with the guys from the Phoenix rescue mission and. And saw them in action handing this water to people who needed it. And, man, I'm telling you, it was. You've been to Bass pro shops. When they do the feeding, when they want water, their hands go up. Like, they just start to. Like when babies ask for juice, their hand starts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Water, water, water, water. It's amazing. And that should not happen, but it does. And these. These amazing human beings go around and give this stuff out and help the people that they're giving it to. They don't just throw water at them and leave. They talk to them like, Anybody wants anything extra, some more help. And there's a couple of these dudes like I gotta get out of here. I gotta get off the streets. I got. It was. It was pretty amazing. So thank you to who's going over. That's amazing. Now back to guess that sound and let's.

[Brady]

They're hanging wallpaper. That's the page.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that what that is? Yeah. Well, Brady might be right. They might be digging deep into the wallpaper. Hanging the wallpaper. Guess that sound. Well, we'll play that later. Brady digging into cane sauce.

[Toledo]

That's my guess.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says it's brady after a 12 pack of taco Bell chalupas in a hotel bathroom with a 16 year old girl in the bed. Now that's. That has to be explained 93. 3 otherwise it sou. But yes, Brady did take a teenager across state lines and. And do horrible things to the bathroom. But not to the girl. Although she's. She would argue that her. Her nose and her body have never been the same since. You don't take teenagers across state line.

[Brady]

You did go to Taco Bell, but that was on the way home. So it was in Healer Bend, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Did you have to pull over at any point and finish that? The shark made it with Taco Bell in his belly.

[Brady]

We.

[John Holmberg]

We.

[Brady]

We stayed at the T Bell.

[John Holmberg]

Did you close shop at the T Bell?

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no.

[Brady]

I'm just saying we didn't eat it in the car.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm asking you. You ate Taco Bell and you made it all the way home from Gila Band.

[Brady]

I can handle pretty.

[John Holmberg]

You couldn't make it from the table to the bathroom at Spinato's once things have changed, John. I guess so. And I am. Look, I'm impressed that you've decided to use your sphincter once. Like it took a long time for you to understand how that worked. I'm not buying it. There's a loves on the way home. There's no way he's stopping at the. You've seen it, bro. This meal. It's quicksilver through his system. It comes pouring.

[Brady]

It was risky, but it's fine.

[John Holmberg]

It comes flying out. That's why he left the casino so early the other night. That lobster Mac and cheese is not holding back. And he had the. The cream corn or whatever he ordered he had to get to in the car when he had to get to five guys and dip the burger in the cream corn that he forgot to eat at dinner. I don't buy It. I think that was a struggle for you head.

[Brady]

It happened.

[John Holmberg]

I'm impressed. I have been with him. His name is the shark for a reason. Because the Bobby, he's a big Bobby Darin fan. But also because that food, I've never seen somebody eat and go, that's right, that gotta find a bathroom. Sometimes you just can't help it. And that's when I kept. For years I've said you've got a sphincter. Use it. Your God built your body to hold it. It's not good for you. No, this isn't. Look, since when are you a health maven? Not good for you. Tell me why you got 14 pounds of butter buttery chalupa in you. That, that's not good for you.

[Brady]

Suddenly I'm looking at what plate?

[John Holmberg]

A boot? Yeah, you're Dr. Oz now. Oh, that would be unhealthy. Look, what you ate was unhealthy. That's why it's trying to escape so fast. But I'm impressed. You pulled over a Taco Bell, untied that teen hostage, let her have a chalupa too and then put her back in the car. You know what it was? It was a gun to her head. After all the feces she had to smell in that little three day deal. One last little fear based move to manipulate her brain. Brain is take her to Taco Bell on this. Now we're gonna ride in the car for another hour and a half after Taco Bell. Caitlin, you sit up front with Big Daddy.

[Brady]

Don't you tell anybody.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's brewing. Caitlin, at any minute now you might be smelling some of the insides of big Daddy. Oh, sir, drop me off here. Nope, I get you all the way home. Kirby didn't try to stop it at all.

[Brady]

She was masked up.

[John Holmberg]

Kirby.

[Brady]

Kirby.

[John Holmberg]

Did Kirby on that trip ever say dad, you're embarrassing me?

[Brady]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't hear it. She said it. But to you she never said it out loud. Yeah, she said it a few times. No 16 year old is, you know, totally like my dad. 60s or he's just awesome. You guys are gonna be.

[Brady]

I kept feeling cool.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, so cool. Yeah, that's all you kept hearing. He's like that guy is follow him teens is what people say about you because you all the latest contraptions.

[Brady]

Best vacation I've ever been.

[John Holmberg]

I imagine that she said, oh my God, I'm so sorry, Caitlin. It's so embarrassing. Like at 2 in the morning when you're in there just crushing that bathroom chalupa. Chalupa Anyway, I gotta get sleep.

[Brady]

Where are the Tums?

[John Holmberg]

I guarantee you. Kirby rolled over and looked at her friend, said, so sorry. So embarrassing. And then she wiped the tears from Caitlin's eyes. We're gonna have to get up at 4 in the morning, I guess, aren't we? That's when he gets up. That's when he starts stirring around the room with us in it. At 4 in the morning, I'm getting up, starts brewing, starts farting. It's terrifying. Anyway, so I don't believe you that you didn't struggle. I'm happy that you choked one back there from Gila Bend all the way to the house. But I have a feeling once you got to the house, the luggage stayed in the car and you ran in real quick.

[Brady]

Pack later, unpack later.

[John Holmberg]

I'll get to that. It was like OJ in the old commercials. Just jumping over luggage and everything's. I gotta get to the bathroom. I gotta go. Oh, I should have put this one on Caitlyn. She'd have hated it anyway. What are you gonna do? 6:14. Brett's going out in a little bit. We'll give you all the information about what he's carrying with him for operation hydration. As we strive now for the second half a million. We are at zero. Let's get to 500, 000 bottles before Labor Day and pop this thing off to a million. We'll throw some champagne in the air. Not on the air. Not on the air. That's illegal. Don't want to do anything like that. Pop that cork. We'll pop a cork and let the. Really let the. He's not wrong. Let the bubbly flow. Oh, no, no, no, not that. You give us a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up. It's out of control now. 88K.

[Toledo]

Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. It's miles to nowhere. Thank you, Katie and the Hobbs for everything you've done so far. Guy says, just listening to your story, John, you said you used to have sexual chemistry with a girl. Isn't that like Brady saying he used to be able to do 100 unbroken pull ups? Yeah, I know it's hard to believe that there was at one point in my life sexual chemistry with some. Someone. And I don't know if you asked her if it would be the same. I'm speaking from my point of view. I just know when two people hate each other very much, you can make Magic. That's all I'm saying. You never know. People play. Now look. Hey, by the way, guys, it was kind of a one off. There is no real reason to guess that sound that we're not actually playing the game. My emails are loaded. I'm loaded with guess. It's just. It's the prolapse. You already know what it is. Yeah, it's the joke. Prolapse 93. 3. That's what they do. Anyway, it's still funny, especially because we know what it actually is. And it is awful. It's fun, but it's awful. We got to get to this thing. First and foremost, it's time for the the John Homberg annual reminder to knock it off. Off. When it comes to paranormal nonsense and anyone on television, this Dan Rivera guy, it's sad. He died unexpectedly, but he died because his heart stopped. He died because of something. His body was not functioning at 100% as something was wrong and his heart stopped. That's a guess. But they found him unresponsive in a hotel room. It had nothing to do with the doll. Please stop.

[Brady]

It was the COVID show.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we could have that. That's more reasonable. There we go. Go then. It is the doll. Annabelle, the doll he toured around did not move on its own. They have all these things, these stories that I was reading and it's like, oh, they're pretending the thing moved around on its own and had like, you know, it caused car crashes. This man's dead, right? And in his eulogy, Annabelle, the doll may be responsible. You know, it's caused car like, stop talking about that stupid doll. And if that's the case.

[Brady]

Is it? I didn't find brave enough to step up and continue the tour.

[John Holmberg]

Burned the doll to the ground. If you really believe this, why are you toting a doll that that can cause car wrecks and starts moving around the room, but there's tons of them out there going, oh yeah, on tour with us. And it's the doll. The doll had something to do with it. And it's so cool. It's such a strange coincidence. No, it's not. Evidently, the guy was complaining for a couple of days that he couldn't catch his preference breath. He had some. It was sweating profusely. He's like, I really don't feel great. He was telling everybody, my heart's stopping. I'm having a heart issue. My friend Marty, who ended up having one, we were at lunch and he didn't know and he goes, man, I just can't get a good breath in. I feel like worn out all the time. Like I said, I'm getting checked out this week. It turned out he needed triple bypass. You know it. But had he stuck around another day, we wouldn't have gone, oh my God, that lunch we had with him, we magically killed him with paranormal activity. It's never happened. I'm going to throw the stat out there again. That's going to blow the mind of the believers. A ghost has. As we have up to today's evidence, a ghost or ghosts have been responsible for absolutely zero deaths. None except their own. Zero deaths. Not one ghost has ever stepped in and killed anyone. And again, I'll go to to my philosophy on this. Thank God for my philosophy classes at MCC because this is the way my brain works because of that. I know you don't truly believe in this because if anything was robbed from your home, your car got stolen, and the police chief came out and said we'd look into this, but we're pretty sure a ghost stole your car. Even if you're one of the weirdos who has the TV show that believes in ghosts and goes cursed crazy, you would turn to that guy and go go yourself. We both know it was a Mexican guy. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. 93, you would never ever, ever say that to somebody. It's like, who you think the officer thinks a ghost did it. He'd lose his job. His. Deep down we all know that's not a thing. But for some reason, this Annabelle doll is. That's caught fire. Fire. It's on. It's on every major news source. Like every single thing that pumps out news is like, did you hear about that guy that got killed by his doll? No, that's irresponsible reporting that didn't happen.

[Brady]

Or how many people went checked out the movie during this whole thing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, it's great sales for Annabelle because I didn't even know about that movie. And I'm looking at it, I'm like, this is a dumb movie. Like, and it could have been that great a movie or everybody would have gone, oh, Annabelle, Annabelle did it. I didn't hear about till Brady mentioned it yesterday. No idea. But. And then he's touring it around, but they keep saying, you know, he's the lead investigator here. I got to give this dude a tip of the cap though. He made a career out of starting the Connecticut based New England Society for psychic research. He's 54, he's in the middle of heart Attack land. That's what 54 starts being if you've got and you're not getting checked out. But they're dying for the idea that anything they do has validity, and it just doesn't. So once again, a reminder. Psychics aren't real. Life coaches are thieves. People who chase ghosts for a living are idiots. Ghosts never did it. That's like you say. You go to that. The haunted hotel in Jerome and trash the place. Trash the place. Place when they're. Because they give you a speech when you check in. Now you've got the room where old Jacob McGilly is. Oh, he's trouble up there. And he. He was a minor in the area and he went. He's very angry that someone stole his gold. And room 305, which is what you're getting. He sometimes shows up and he does some things to your luggage and ooh. And you know, the wife's like, go up there and trash that room and come down and go, McGillage, get in the room. He's gone mad. Like, no, you asshole. You owe us money. You broke the tv. You did it. We all know it's not real. Tr anybody that says it's harmful.

[Brady]

Is there a framed picture of Zach Baggins in that place too? They go there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, up in that. Well, of course. It's the Guy Fieri of dumb. It's like, Guy Fieri even rolls his eyes at that, going, I'm not even as big a shyster as that and I can barely cook cereal. If you've ever had Guy Fieri's food, you realize he's a fraud, right? Oh, I see. You pulled the wool over everybody's eyes with your hot tamale on a flip flop nonsense and your catchphrases. You got fat America interested because you're eating cheeseburger burgers and you're, you know, it's porn to them. And you've got tipped hair and you're kind of fat like them, and you're bright red like your heart's about to stop like them. So you're so much like the ones that love you. And then you eat a burger and you're just like, oh, oh, hot tiddly winks. And he says something stupid and everybody's like, that's a new cat phrase I'm gonna use when I bite food. The only people food shows should be impressive to are Africans. That's it. Show Guy Fieri's TV shows over Ethiopia. That is the only time when somebody eating on TV should make the audience go, oh, God, that's awesome. What? Oh, that's a utopia. We have so much. Just go to your fridge and eat. You don't need to watch somebody else do it. And get. And start beating off. Oh, geez. I shouldn't say that. I'm sorry.

[Dale]

93.

[John Holmberg]

3. What's the time? 6:47. Traffic is more of it, it seems as the. As the morning hour lingers on into the late 6 o' clock hour. Seems like more cars are on the road. And always be careful whatever road you're on to, watch out for the other cars. Traffic. Sun's up. That means the temperature's gonna start rising. It's 91 right now. Probably gonna be about 1:01 a little later. If you haven't figured that out by now, you should probably just drive off a cliff or something because you're an idiot.

[Brady]

Oh, don't say that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I shouldn't have said that. That's right. 93.3. Nuts. Every time I say something bad, just if you're gonna make. If you're gonna make a complaint while the owners in town, always remember we here at 93.3KdKB. Sorry. I'll never forget that. Remember when Joe Arpaio got mad at us and he had. It was on a rampage time. Well, the big time. Well, when we realized he was adult, and we're like, he's not very bright at all. Like, he's.

[Toledo]

You know.

[John Holmberg]

And his friend was having sex with that sheep, and he got caught. And then we realized that Joe couldn't do. He, like, tried to help his buddy. It was a fire chief.

[Brady]

Someone pointed out, hey, on the books, there's nothing.

[John Holmberg]

There's no law against that. Because Mr. Arpaio, who was the toughest sheriff in the world, had never, like. And he had his buddy start banging a lamb. So then he got mad at us to try to distract. We'll get you, Brett. Brett's on his way out to the beautiful weather. Watch that traffic. Don't hit other cars. Yeah, we'll give you a traffic report, get you out there. There's cars out there. Be careful of those. But then he comes back, and then he. He started yelling at our sales manager, Bob Weaver.

[Brady]

Well, no, stemmed from when Ralphie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Ralphie brought his dog in, but. Yeah, but he was trying to be an active guy to distract from his friend having sex with a lamb.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And getting caught. Yep. And he told our guy, Bob Weaver, and he goes, you guys are in big trouble. And Weaver's like, what? And he goes, yeah, that show you got over there at Katie KB is to get all sorts of trouble. And I'm like, yep, that's right. That's exactly it. He didn't know who.

[Brady]

He shut those guys down.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't know who he was mad at. Which was hilarious when he was trying to get him. Like, really? Me? You're coming after me for animal abuse? Are you out of your mind?

[Brady]

We had to sit down with two guys from the MCSO that came in the building.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right.

[Brady]

And they like, we got to do this interview. You do? Yeah. You do. Did anything happen here? No. Okay. Hey, thank you for the interview.

[John Holmberg]

They left and even they're like, we got. The only one that was better was the time that that guy threatened to kill George Bush at one of our events.

[Brady]

That was wild.

[John Holmberg]

And within like three seconds, we had Secret Service in the building, men in black. Never in my life have I met more serious human beings. There was no. No haha button on either. Dude.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

And we were like, okay, hang on. Give me two seconds. I gotta go in the bathroom. We're take a. Oh, I gotta pee. And make sure that it's all buttoned up. And we'll be in your office like Jesus Christmas. This is.

[Brady]

Nice to meet you, Agent Smith.

[John Holmberg]

Mr. Anderson. Like, oh, no, your Matrix guys. It was creepy, but yeah. So if you ever get mad at us, do it the proper way. No more with the gun, ghost stories. Annabelle didn't kill that guy. End of story. And if you know anybody who's like that, I think the doll had something to do with it. I've heard the doll moves around. If you get a doll in your house that's getting up and walking around, slaughter it. It's. That's not good. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? 98.

[Toledo]

Can you be Holmberg's morning sickness or.

[Brady]

Take it on the road?

[John Holmberg]

No, that's what. That's what people said. And look what happened to him. Brady. No, if you've got one.

[Brady]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Take it on the road to Sweden. And again, as I always say, when you've. When you've breached a brand new. When you. When you're no longer on the frontier, you are the frontier. Go get your Nobel Prize. Go get it immediately. When you've got a doll that you've managed to bring to life, like Frankenstein. Otherwise, shut up.

[Brady]

Yeah, I was. I was thinking about Michigan. Michigan J. Frog more.

[John Holmberg]

Right. It's. And that was a real frog that had human tendencies only in the presence of that one guy, and he tried to show the. He tried to take it on the road, and what he ended up doing. I think he ended up getting buried in cement. Right. He went crazy. It drove him nuts. It's just so dumb. This guy says the Annabelle movies are pretty well known. It's part of the whole Conjuring series. Is that what that is?

[Brady]

I just looked it up.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I know.

[Brady]

I didn't know there was. There's. I don't remember because I know I remember. I've seen parts of the Conjuring.

[John Holmberg]

I just don't remember the doll.

[Brady]

Remember the doll being involved.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think it's nine movies. I don't necessarily think it's in the Zeitgeist. I think there's a group of people that know about it. I don't think you can just. I don't think it's a reference that people are gonna be like, all right, I get it. Maybe now that one of the dollies they sold at Toys R Us killed a paranormal. Of course it killed a paranormal. Now give it to a guy like. Like me. Let me have Annabelle because I'm completely. I'll feel completely safe with this doll, knowing that absolutely no powers exist. And I'll tour it all over the cons and everything else, and everybody like you in your hotel room.

[Brady]

Does it turn?

[John Holmberg]

Lights go on and off? Yeah, when I flip the switch. You dumb. Of course they go on and off. That's. That's the design.

[Dale]

But on their own.

[John Holmberg]

Lights don't go on and off on their own. Unless the bulb isn't in tight enough. You're an idiot. Move on. Next. Who wants to meet Andy? Annabelle. Did she ever move anything in the room? No, that's impossible, you idiot. It's a doll. It's like stuffing. Yeah, but you might have come to life through ghosts. All right, you need to do me and society a favor and lock yourself in a room. Never come outside. This was cool. I watched this girl online yesterday who has. She's a. An autopsy technique technician, and I think she's trying to be viral. She's kind of like. She's got tattoos and she's pretty.

[Brady]

Trying to be like that Polly Parrot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's kind of that. Only she's prettier than that girl. But. Yeah, the NCIS girl was the. She dabbled with the dead bodies, but she was kind of. She was a little Morticia. Yeah, but she was hot. Like, she's kind of hot, but she dabbles with the. Yeah, here's A picture of her. She's pretty, right? That's a good one. Yeah, she's very pretty. She said the thing that she sees more and what she says is, here's what I want society to be part of, and we could, you know, prolong your life a little bit. This is what she sees the most. She says elderly people and children under the age of nine stop eating steak. What? She sees more choke jobs on steak than she does. Oh, was that a bad thing? Is that she sees dudes choking on meat too much. Oh, man. 93.3. Speaking of dudes choking on me. 93. 3. Anyway, I mean, they thrive on that stuff. Now, look, I. I can't turn it off in a day, baby. I'm trying out here, Rich. Anyways, yeah, she said that. Anybody, like, if you're over 60, start considering no steak. And I know Brady's, that's gonna be a tough one, but no more steaks for you. Old people choke on steaks a lot.

[E]

Brady will just do a salad like he did at the kitchen.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, salad just covered in steak. Steak, meat. But she said, yes. She said, please, elderly people avoid steak. I see multiple patients every week died choking on the meat. Stop it. Glad Brett's not here and says, you can't chew like you used to when you're older, and you'll choke and die and you'll end up in the morgue with me. She goes, I have to retrieve it from your esophagus. And it's gross. It's the grossest thing I do. Steak in an advanced age or a very young age is incredibly dangerous. And I can tell you from experience of what I do deal with. Chew your food thoroughly or just skip the steak altogether. She's 32, and she's like. She also says avoid getting into altercations. That's another thing she sees. There's a lot of people that could have just avoided and they get killed dicking around in a bar or something. She goes, that's another thing I see all the time. Unnecessary deaths.

[E]

Brady, are you having trouble chewing your food?

[John Holmberg]

I guarantee you don't chew like you used to. You think no of us, do we? We can every. Like a rabbit.

[E]

You eat fast.

[John Holmberg]

I do eat fast. Yeah. I'll end up choking to death. I've almost done it. Right? But yeah, I guarantee as your body. Your body's weaker everywhere as you get older. Very true. Like, your esophagus isn't as strong, Your stomach's not as strong, your jaw is probably not as strong like you probably. And you're probably just. I've done this a million times. So you're not thinking about chewing it. It's just like, that's enough, I guess. And you. Hey, look, she's the one in the morning. Is such a second nature. But you take it for granted when you're older. You're like, I'm chewing like I've always chewed, and you're not. This is a quarter. Hey, look, it's not me. This is the lady. That's.

[Brady]

What's that syndrome called? The steakhouse being old.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, steakhouse syndrome. What happened? He. They didn't leave him keys to the car. Yeah. What do you mean? How are you going to get there? I don't know. I'm not. They're gone. All right, It's. You don't have any way to get at 55 in the morning?

[E]

No, he does, but he doesn't have any way to bring the water back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Where's the truck? It's down there, but they have the keys locked up in the promo closet. Where are they? They're at the promo.

[E]

They always leave before us.

[John Holmberg]

This is a Mickey Mouse operation. Hey, hey, hey. I'm done around here.

[Toledo]

When does.

[John Holmberg]

When do we start the podcast? Is anybody paying attention? Did they not hear that we have 500,000 bottles of water raised through this event and we don't get. We were gonna make it.

[E]

It's not because us.

[John Holmberg]

This is. This is a. This is a Mickey Mouse operation. Sorry, Brett poster. Like, they're close. So they're gonna set up the promo crew, and then they're gonna take one of the trucks back, give me the keys to the other truck, and then I'm head out. So otherwise you wouldn't have any way to get the water back, right? Yeah. Who's. Who's the mentally challenged nimrod in charge of today's action promos department? Who. Who's calling you? Well, I called. I called Braden, and Unbelievable. Kaden and Alan was out there. Yeah. So he called the Gilbert goons. I don't know why. Pretty much. Yeah. So I'm hoping Mike shows up at the master key soon, but crying out loud. And you know, promo don't show up here till eight, nine o' clock. Something. Eight was after smoke break. Put your ears on and wander through the magic kingdom of this Mickey Mouse non.

[Brady]

Perfect timing, too. Oh, can we create owners in town?

[E]

Create mouse ears.

[John Holmberg]

No, they don't need to know about this. They come in and they'll see the building's clean and we all seem happy and the money's rolling in and then they'll be like, oh, but this is a. This is a disaster.

[Brady]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

And they're always barking about charity events and like, we gotta be better and we gotta. You guys do a ton. Let's be better. Let's do more. We'll win awards. We gave it a shot. No keys for you. We're not gonna actually. Well, we're not gonna let people donate and have a way to get it to you. That's ridiculous. Save money on gas. Lock up those keys. Well, anyways, good to have you, Brad. Thanks. Stop eating steak. You don't chew like you used to. I mean, we're all. It's all over the road.

[E]

Oh yeah, you missed that. More steak for any of us. We're over 50.

[John Holmberg]

Well, 60 is the one. She said, yeah, you're still a viable human being until you're 60. Sorry. But yeah, you're. You're still like a pretty decent person until 60 and then 60. Three years left. So that Brett's always saying that women expire at 40 and that's rude. But it's true. Men expire around 60, we stop and we still look. We look, look good. Gray hair, silver, you know, looking pretty sharp and keeping it together. But you don't. You don't function like you used to. You start getting those weird crepey arms and it's. Yeah. 60s the end. How about lobster Mac? Well, how like can you get that? That's smooth. That goes right down. Trust me, I watched it happen. Yeah.

[E]

How much of it? Most of it.

[John Holmberg]

Now I don't think that 35 year old Brady would have been so cavalier with his own fork to reach across into the community bowl and start eating. You know that 60 year old dad.

[Brady]

That would have been on my plate. Only at bull.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe you would have ordered your own. There's very possible scenario where you order your own sides and nobody's allowed to touch them, which I get. But you didn't do that. But when you're older, you just start. That's happens to old people. They start reaching onto other people's plates and like they just don't care anymore. And that goes with chewing. This girl says it. You got to stop. Stop doing that. This. This girl did an autopsy on a guy who got under a steam. Steamroller. Yikes. And she was like choking on steak. Yeah, he had a steak in his esophagus. She's like, that's what did it. He was. He couldn't run away. Because he was dying on the steak. He had meat in his throat. Damn it. How many times do I have? 93. 3. But she's like my biggest question with that one was why does the family want an autopsy? I think we kind of know what happened here. You get steamrolled and you're like, we want to know the truth. Oh well, flat Stanley or over there. I don't think he. I don't think you need to have gone to school to know exactly why he's dead. Did he suffer by a steamroll? Well, we got to cut him open, find out what's inside. Nothing. It's flat. Whatever it is, is flat now. So yeah, just a little. Yeah, it's a little PSA there. So be careful chewing steak. This, this pretty mortician has said that's what she sees most often. That's a pretty surprised her is that people in, you know, their advanced years choked to death on meat. And also people who listen to kdk. Sorry I have time to see. So sorry your reflexes trying to be better. But I'm not a good person. I've signed letters that say I'm not a good person. Trust me, I'm not a good person. And then another thing I saw. They're back. By the way, one of my favorite things in humanity is back. Giant babies. Remember giant babies of the 90s? Giant babies.

[Brady]

Three pounder.

[John Holmberg]

Maury had the giant babies and then Jerry took notice of giant babies. And then Sally Jesse had. And there was plenty to go around in the early 90s, from 1990 to 1995, six, maybe seven kind of bled into that. We got tired of them. Gigantic babies were on TV pretty much somewhere every day. And I mean by gigantic, gigantic like 8 month old 40 pounders like you couldn't figure out. And they're just heaping masses of humanity sitting at the end of Maury's stage and diapers just, just looking like, you know, King Kong's babies. Huge babies. There's another one. Look at this one. They're back. Brady. This kid's on tour. On tour. He's like four months old. He's 23 pounds. He's just a monster. And mom's like. And so people. But the difference now is that there's social media. So every time she posts a picture of their gigantic super there they just, just a quick look at that thing. Wow. I like when Brett turns into poly walnuts. About that. Look at that.

[E]

NFL teams are scouting this 33 pound baby.

[John Holmberg]

Where are they today? Dead. You think they don't yeah. There's no way they blew up. Yeah. If you're Baby January.

[E]

This one's from January.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They're back. I'm telling you, man. You can go check it out. I think that's the same one I'm looking at. Is it okay? The football, the fat babies, the giant babies are back now. I don't know. What is he holding?

[Brady]

Dumbbells? He is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He' trying to turn that fat into size. It's amazing. And so for the longest time, from like 97 to 20, 24, nobody had a fat, giant super baby. But they're back, and there was like, a whole thing yesterday, and you click on one and you get 25 different stories about. No, they're still out there. We lost interest. I've never seen one in person.

[Brady]

23 pounds at birth.

[John Holmberg]

20 at birth.

[Brady]

Is that what it said?

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

What? No, she'd be dead. Brady.

[Brady]

Oh, he's gay.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

23 pounds. I was gonna say. Jesus Christ. The story is no longer about the baby. It's about the mom and the super sperms. Like Charlotte from smoking a bandit too, given the birth to that.

[E]

My husband is 6 foot 3. His brothers are 6 8, and 6.

[John Holmberg]

9, and they pump.

[E]

She's 5 3.

[John Holmberg]

So she was dead, by the way. I said that. Oh, no. Yeah, I'll play it in a second. By the way, super sperms is the new afternoon guy. Katie.

[Dale]

93.

[John Holmberg]

3. Amazing show collection. Russell from Vegas. No, no, no. It's a different guy. The snake.

[Brady]

Heaviest baby ever birthed. £22.

[John Holmberg]

That's a large. That's a large infant. But, man, oh, man, these giant babies are back. And that means TV shows will start paying attention to them again, or at least the Internet. And if you've got a giant baby that would have been on Mori 30 years ago, please, by all means, send me photos of this gigantic baby child. I love the giant babies. And it's another reason Brett not having kids was awesome. High five. Because I don't know what I'd have done if I'd end up with one of those. And there weren't TV shows to go, like, capitalize on this. I would. If I've got a giant. If my baby's on high blood pressure medicine, like the day he's born, or he's got Ozempic and not for. For weight loss. For the actual diabetes.

[E]

Yeah, the diabetes monitor.

[John Holmberg]

He's got one on his arm when he's born. He's like, I got the patch. I got the stamp. Because I'm Glucose levels are through the moon. He comes out and his foot needs to be removed the first day. I'm definitely gonna say, all right, I'm gonna try to make money off of this thing. Cause there's no possible. This kid's gonna be living at my house forever. I'm gonna have to cut a wall out eventually to get him into the bariatric ambulance and get him home. So I would definitely wanna monetize that giant baby. And there's nowhere be to do that anymore. So if you've been stuck in this post giant baby, you know, era when. For a while there, it looked like that was the future. I don't know what happened to all those giant babies. And I think Brady or Brett is right that we didn't. They didn't make it. No. Yeah.

[Brady]

Or they're used to it now.

[John Holmberg]

What giant babies. Yeah, but we wouldn't be. We'd be used to it if we. Because now I'd be used to it if I saw it out of. In front about. I don't see gargantuan babies any, like, fat.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

But, you know, ones I'm talking about, they need their own chair. Like on Mori. They'd sit on the end of the stage and you're like, that's just a. Like an 8 year old in a diaper. But it was a infant. Mori did one where he didn't believe the kid wasn't like six. And I remember he was going on, going, I just don't believe this thing's five months old. 204 pounds. Like two.

[Toledo]

Jesus.

[Brady]

And he's smoking a cigar.

[John Holmberg]

Get on with it, Povich. I gotta get to work. I got a Philly waiting for me over at the bar. Yeah. So the giant babies are back. And I for one, could not be happier. And if you've got giant babies at home, please, for God's sake, bring it in. Yeah. Yes. Show our owners. They're here today. Show our owners Phoenix collection of gargantuan oversized infants. Because I want to say, remember, Brady, we had the plea for a conjoined twin, and you happen to know one. And they brought in their conjoined twins. And that seemed neat until it was in the room with you and you're like, gotta do something about this. And they did. That was weird.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That was not. You think? It's like when you see it on tv, you're like, oh, that's kind of a neat.

[E]

Here's one from this week.

[John Holmberg]

That's the one I'm looking at. That's the One I was looking at Macy, Mugal. Look at the size Oklahoma. Of that gargantuan kid. And it's not all fat. Look at his just hands. He's got hands like my grandmother. He's huge. He's as big as she is.

[Toledo]

He's.

[John Holmberg]

What is he, six? Six months? Four months. He says four months old and he's as big as his mother. She can't lift that. I want these back. I want this super race of giant babies back. But we need a TV show that's total. But again, I thought it was neat when the. When the conjoined twins came in the studio.

[E]

But that's her pregnant at three weeks. No kidding.

[John Holmberg]

She's eight months pregnant. Brett, you weren't around for that. You didn't stick around that morning we had the conjoined twins. No. And Brady and I both. I'm glad. It was interesting then. And then it sat on my lap.

[E]

They were very sweet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. But it was just like it sat on my lap and one of them smelled funny and the other one was okay. Well, one of them wasn't as good as the other. Like, it was. They had to get rid of it. Right. I don't know if that's always. They tried to separate. They knew one would go. They pretty much knew that was a horrible story. And then you realize, like, the mom and dad. Dad have to walk around with this stuff. You couldn't help it. If I had conjoined twins, I think I'd show it to everybody. Like, this is. Look what I made. Not me. You leave it at home. I'd leave it somewhere else. I would. Not my house. Toledo's dad, though. Yeah. Going for a pack of smokes. I'm going for a pack of smokes. You wouldn't even. Because it's different than what Toledo's dad just didn't want. Toledo. There was not a whole lot wrong with him.

[Brady]

I mean, he didn't have option.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[E]

My mom said, hey, you want to be in his life or not? And he said, nope.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So Toledo had.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady]

It wasn't like. It's like I'm dropping them off.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But he may mean drop him off with Matthia and her broken ovaries that make twisted.

[Brady]

No, I think he's just leaving him in a field.

[John Holmberg]

They got that deposit box at the fire stations and stuff right there. I mean, if I'm driving down the road and I see a stray conjoined twin, I'm hitting the. The brakes I'm picking that up. Sure not cuz I'm moral. Because it's a great story. Y, y, I'm taking it somewhere good. But like Brett would just put a hobo sack between its heads.

[Brady]

Hit the road.

[John Holmberg]

Peace out. You're on your own, kids. You're, you're one of God's mistakes. I got to leave you here by the side of the road. Oh boy. This, doing this thing going the wrong way. 93:3. Yeah, but yeah, I, I, I, I would keep one of those. I would keep. You're keeping two at that point. If they're conjoined. I'd keep conjoined twins before I'd keep Toledo. If I, if I'm Toledo's. Yeah. If I'm Toledo's dad, I'm keep one's a lot. Yeah. One's interesting, one's a drain. I'm keeping the conjoins. That's fun. You get in People magazine, you have all these stories written about you. People are paying attention. If you're smart, you get online, you become an influencer for other conjoined twin parents. Toledo, basic baby. Yeah, that's, that's a infant for basic. That's the same thing. You're basic baby. Your dad did the right thing. Now if you had two heads, I bet you, I bet you he'd have stayed. I don't know.

[E]

He being a rancher and a farmer, he'd probably want two able bodied somehow.

[John Holmberg]

Joined at the hip. The hell with that. Joined at the hip. Down. But it's one tummy. Yeah. Still got to feed both. Yeah, you got to feed both kids. But it goes to one tummy. You don't know. Heads don't double down on the meal. I don't know. I don't know. I would have left the damn thing. No, no. Why would I? Why would I? So in the world of Brett, in the world of Brett, in the ultrasound, they're like, oh, look at that. Looks like, well, I guess twins. And then you hear, oh my own. No, exactly. And then they're like. And they joined. Joined up. I think they joined up. I'm sorry. And I'm like, no, the out. That's exactly what I would say. John.

[E]

How is Brady not more interested in this conversation? You know what goes along with giant babies?

[John Holmberg]

Breastfeeding. Yeah, that's true. Well, breastfeeding goes along with all babies. Yeah. I would bring my conjoined twins over to Brett's house every day at about 6 o'. Clock. Every day about 6 o'. Clock. Just So I could hear. Oh, the man's trying to eat. Mr. Vesley, we've looked at the ultrasound and evidently you have conjoined twins coming. Oh, my God. Yep.

[E]

Guy says my brother squirted out at 10 pounds, 8 ounces. Yeah, Ephraim is now 6, 9 and 350.

[John Holmberg]

It's wrong. I was a month and a half late. I came out around ten pounds, too. And you did. Yeah, same day my. I was born in the Hammond, Indiana hospital. There's a Korean lady who gave birth to a 14 pounder. I believe it's still the state record in Indiana. July 26, 1972. Right around the corner. We're celebrating a birthday together. Me and that giant Korean kid.

[Brady]

Are the ones still alive. Corey or Dory and.

[John Holmberg]

No, the country singer and. Yeah, the one that got married with. I don't think so. Lori and Dory. Laurie. I think they're. I think they're gone. Maybe. I don't know.

[E]

But wasn't one of them gay?

[John Holmberg]

I think one of them. Oh, man. One of them swapped out for gay. Yeah, yeah, you're right.

[Toledo]

That.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say it again. What the is there to think about? That would be me in the room. I love Sopranos. Italians. Getting the news of a conjoined twin on the way. It's just. You're going to be a father with conjoined twins. I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart. I think it's great. Anyway, you got all this going on. Toledo's head was probably a little off putting. The guy might have thought he had conjoined twins. They just hadn't separated quite yet. They probably looked on the back of Toledo's head and thought, there's got to be another face on here somewhere.

[E]

And then Alex got that huge head on.

[John Holmberg]

Alex.

[E]

Hey, you remember passing him around at the Padres game?

[John Holmberg]

Boy, do I ever. People are like, hey, Mr. Matt. Like, no, it's a baby. That's Mr. Matt. Come over here inside. No, it's just an infant. It's not Mr. Matt. Well, the guy sitting next to him is Mr. Matt. No, that's his dad. They just have huge heads, sir. That's what you should go for is Halloween this year.

[Brady]

Okay?

[John Holmberg]

You should shave your head and just paint it like a baseball. D. Mr. Matt. No one would know. No, you come up in a golf cart, people will actually ask for autographs. Cranium your size keys finally get here. Mike thinks he can do it from his computer from his house. So I'm going down there to wait. We'll see. Maybe I'll. You can jump start a car from Mike's house? No, to get the keys. He's got a operation. We have the key keys in. It's the. It's the fob thing like we have for the front doors. But our fobs don't work on the promo closet, so I can't. Where the keys are? Yeah, where the keys to the truck are. Because we don't trust any employees not to go hot dogging around. Somebody's been here 28 years too. I mean, you had to ask for the keys. Well, at least I asked and they gave them to me. I didn't realize that I had to go through, like a nuclear code and people had to crack the football. All right, good luck down there, Brett. Brett's gonna try to leave again, but it's not looking good. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[Toledo]

Hberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Is a second guy there to hit the second?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We got to have the two keys at the same time simultaneously. Open up, cuz we don't trust any of the employees. Let's go down to KUPD and steal the truck and do donuts.

[E]

On three. Turn left.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And now Brett can go somewhere anyway. Well, there he goes. Brett finally. Maybe we don't know if it's gonna work. Well, he's got to go downstairs first. But when Brett finally gets going and I guess they're there. They're there, but there's no. You're just going to stack water next to them. They didn't take the truck themselves.

[Brady]

Yeah, no.

[John Holmberg]

They're down a truck. We need the load up truck.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Because we've gotten so much. We need both trucks.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes a third truck. Now nobody thinks Lock it up. Broadway and rural. That's where we're going. Safeway for operation hydration. No matter how goofy this whole place has gotten and is running off the rails, we're still doing nice things for an awesome organization like the Phoenix rescue mission. And you guys have been amazing. I'm wearing the hat today of those guys from s. They dropped off hats and stuff. And I had great hats, by the way. And they've dropped off probably 10 or 12 pallets of water for us over the last few weeks. We've gotten tons of people that have helped out. Can't say thanks enough to keep it up. We hit 500,000 in July trying to get to a million by Labor Day. I think we can do it. And you guys are killing it. So start today Broadway and rural. And as always, you can drop an envelope off for Brett if you just want to pop by a couple bucks inside that envelope, Brett will do the shopping for you. And down there at the Safeway from 7 until 9, even though it is 7:15, he was supposed to be there 15 minutes ago, but people stole his car. So get on over there. He's got Volbeat tickets, which is coming up July 26th. Mine and that big fat Korean baby birthday and a day to remember October 25th. He's going to give you tickets to that as well. Easy peasy. Let's get right through that. Nice job. Go visit Brett, do nice things. And plus, it's beautiful out today. So these are the days where it doesn't register that, you know, people will struggle with hydration, stuff like that, because it's so nice. But it'll be right back up there tomorrow. And the next day it's just going to get hotter and hotter. And that's when people who are out on the streets and not necessarily even that, people who just struggle. We have a lot of people, people from out of town. Our owners are from Minnesota. If they start tooling around outside, even today, they might start getting dizzy. And if the folks from Phoenix Rescue Mission happen to be out or they're at one of the water stations, they'll be fine. The beautiful thing. So well done. Well done. KUPD ghouls. Proud of you. What do you got on the big board of musical Treats, Toledo? It's brought to you by our friends at Action Ride Shop over there on. Was it power and McKellips? McDowell. Power. Howard McDowell.

[E]

No McDowell.

[John Holmberg]

McDowell. I always confuse those. Howard McDowell. You want to get out there at the brand new shop and get your bike all worked on. This is a great day to bike, too. If you're up tonight or even at night, get a bike light. Last night, glorious, beautiful. I have my bike light. They have the coolest bike. Better lights on my bike than I have on my cars. These LED super lights they've got, and they're great and they sell all that stuff there. It's an amazing, beautiful thing. So hop on that deal. Go out there and get your accessories for your bike and night ride. Night riding is a blast, especially with all the trails we've got, changes the game. So head on out there. Action Ride Shop, the original store right there on gilbert just off 60. And of course, the brand new beautiful store up there on McDowell and Power, Toledo.

[E]

What's on the board lot? Be ready with your sound effects. Lots of Suggestions for the corporate overlords. Sweat of my balls from CB4. My balls by Snot. She Sells. Sanctuary from the cult. Superstitious from Stevie Ray Vaughan. For Annabelle.

[John Holmberg]

By Stevie Ray Vaughan. Yeah. Yeah, Superstitious.

[E]

He does.

[John Holmberg]

He does a version of the Stevie Wonder song. Yeah. Why would we play that version?

[E]

You just said for what was suggested.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, okay.

[E]

Mexican radio. Apparently, they think that's what we're.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what we've become. I got an email from a guy named J.R. he goes, John, radio is done. The BS happening with the trucks is a prime example of what's going on in your business. I've been in IT hiring dumbass people with no understanding of anything. I feel sorry that you have to deal with these idiots. Retire immediately and start a podcast. We'll come with you. Oh, trust me, it's. It's. It's out there.

[E]

Victor says, hey, isn't your owner's name Jenny? Can we have 867-5309?

[John Holmberg]

That's not a bad idea. Welcome her. Own it back into town.

[E]

Cypress Hill can't get the Best of Me for John and the Big Wigs. Audio slave Cochise. I Glue My Balls to My Butthole again by the Obscurist.

[John Holmberg]

We don't want to do that. That's not a song. Don't you get all nervous about? I'm like, calm down.

[Brady]

It's got to be a great song.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta be kids with their purple hair.

[Brady]

Snow Max and knife.

[John Holmberg]

No, it is not. All right, you pick one. Make it a good. Make it a good one. All right. The cult. This guy says no context of what? The first thing I heard when I got in my car and turned the radio on. Quote, I'd keep conjoined twins before I'd keep Toledo with zero context. I completely agreed with context. I agree even more. It's not a tough one. When given choice a Toledo or conjoined twin, one of them's immediately more interesting. Like, immediately, you want a story from Toledo or you want to talk to conjoined twins? I mean, come on. And speaking of interesting, got a tip to cap to Shane Gillis last night for making what I consider to be the most manufactured strange event that has taken hold. The ESPYs have been shoehorned into our lives. No one's interested in any of the awards. You can't.

[Brady]

No, it has. It's been removed from our lives.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady]

No one knows when it's going well.

[John Holmberg]

No one's ever known. It's never been appointment television ESPN has acted like the ESPYs are up there with the Oscars and award shows. Nobody watches those anyway. But the ESPYs were on last night. They got the hottest comedian going, Shane Gillis. And he. He managed to make some of it entertaining. I don't understand any of the awards. No one knows, like, what the big award is.

[Brady]

And people were mostly, you know, feedback, like, wow, Disney, let this fly.

[John Holmberg]

Of course team of the year is the big award. But I mean, doesn't every sport honor that already? And then you gotta compare which is the best team. Dodgers, Chiefs, Eagles, whatever it is.

[Brady]

I mean, best championship performance, best play.

[John Holmberg]

What does that mean, best championship performance? How do you judge that based from basketball to football?

[E]

Who won it?

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't.

[Brady]

Biles.

[E]

Championship performance.

[Brady]

Best championship performance. Yeah, all around.

[Toledo]

Great.

[John Holmberg]

Good for her. We already gave her a gold medal for that.

[Brady]

Like, I don't think Saquon Barkley's backwards hurt.

[John Holmberg]

That was pretty cool. So Simone Biles getting best. Like, do you think that she won that gold medal and said, I'm definitely getting an espy. It's not important to athletes at all to win an espy. It's like winning Employee of the month at, like, best by. It's nice, but it's no big deal.

[Brady]

Best breakthrough athlete.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it, Brady. Nobody cares.

[E]

Manufactured for social media.

[John Holmberg]

It's probably sga. Who was it?

[Brady]

Alona Mar. Rugby player. USA Rugby player.

[E]

That girl, that truck to come.

[Brady]

That's why I.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, she's trucking people. And then she has her Instagram page where she tries to be pretty and funny at the same time. And the more you look at her, the more you realize she's neither pretty or funny. If you have to start out, everything in your Instagram feed was with, I don't care what the haters think of my body. You're already setting us up to look at it funny.

[Brady]

SGA got the best athlete.

[John Holmberg]

Men's sports, there's no. But anyway, the best performance was Shane Gillis. And the joke he told last night that stood out above and beyond all of them was he said, when Caitlyn Clark of the WNBA retires, she's going to go work at a Waffle House to continue doing the things she loves to the most, which is fist fighting black ladies. And. And I died laughing. I'm like, that's. There it is. That's the. That's the moment of the night.

[E]

Guys from Barstool sports.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they had to love every second. Well, they're from Boston. Anything that's Mildly racist is brilliant. But, yeah, I don't get the ESPYs. Nobody, no. No sports fan I know wants to watch that. It's. I think it's for people who hate sports and like fashion. I think that's. I don't know who watches that, going, yeah, but I've never been in a discussion with sports people. Dale will be in here later this morning where we'll argue who deserved the ESPY more, right? Or like, yeah, but he won an ESPY for it. You've never known. Like, I can sit with people who watch movies and debate whether or not Shakespeare in Love should have won Best Picture over Saving Private Ryan, because it did. And people are like. Like, people remember that because it's art and it's kind of. There is no award for the them other than that. There's no championship movie that you're striving for, and then you get a stupid award later from a TV station. It's strange. So weird. But the ESPYs are there, but they do have great guests. And I remember two years ago or.

[E]

Whatever, like, the Met Gala for sports, it kind of what everybody's wearing.

[John Holmberg]

A couple years ago, LeBron went on there and told everybody that we were lucky because he was going to bless us with a couple more years. I'm not retiring. I'm like, did you just say on TV that we're lucky that you're going to keep playing and, like, we owe you something. There's plenty of guys playing that we like just as much or more. I'm not done yet. I'm going to bless y' all with a couple more years. Oh, my God. And then his wife said, it's tough to be the goat. Yeah, I said it. He's the goat. And he just put his head down like, oh, it sucks. I am the goat. Go like. He's a. LeBron's such a. It just made me hate LeBron more. The ESPY? Yes. Every time you hear him talk again, it's like meeting your heroes. Outside of what they do up there in the tuxedo, feeling himself, talking about how great he is, LeBron can do that without the ESP. And then they always try to manufacture some moment to try to make you cry, because Jim Valvano did you get it once. And they try to. They do tragedy porn, and they'll bring up somebody who's either sick or dying or in a wheelchair, and they'll talk about their sports life and what a fighter they. They are. And within a year, they're dead. So they don't. It's almost always somebody who was about to die. Stuart Scott. They did it to their own people.

[E]

Oh, they just. They've milked Stuart Scott and Valano.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God.

[E]

I mean, not that their causes aren't great, but the way that they bring them up every year.

[John Holmberg]

The grandstand on these guys illnesses.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's the Jimmy the award, the Val Award.

[Brady]

High confidence award this year. John.

[John Holmberg]

That's what LeBron got a couple years ago. Name one who's won.

[Brady]

Alex Morgan. And of soccer. Diana Tausi got this year.

[E]

They had to split it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh God.

[Brady]

Oh, they had to split it. And they went up there together and.

[John Holmberg]

They had the scissors. They get the scissors out, Diana, and stop it.

[Brady]

This picture.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady]

No, they're just holding the awards.

[John Holmberg]

Never once with my. My friends on Steeler Sundays at my home house going, that's awesome. You know he won an ESPY for that. Who remembers that? It's. It's such a weird. It should have the word sponsored ad written on it like they do for stories in the news that. That aren't real. I feel like I'm watching like they're going to sell me pots and pans or it's like the QVC or something. It just doesn't feel right. But Shane Gillis killed it. He's great. Good job. I find that whole thing to be so strange. Let's do it. It's your wake up song. It's Kill Switch engage. I like this one. My curse. You're talking about Toledo's head or being a conjoined twin and your curse and.

[E]

Bearing the brunt of the station.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, I don't. That's not. I'm not saying that. No, no, the listeners are.

[E]

And the suggestions.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure. Yes. Well, it's not my curse that we can't unlock a box.

[Brady]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

It's the curse of stupidity that surrounds us at all times. It's my curse. It's. Yeah, it kind of works. I guess you're right. It's 98 KUV. It's out of control now. 98 mud shovel that's stained. I love that one right there. That's good stuff. Mud shovel. Holy smokes. That song's 30. I just look at that and see that holy Moses that just popped up on my screen. 1996. 29 years old. Wow. Brett, did you. Would you have guessed mud shovel is 29 years old?

[F]

I would have guessed maybe 20.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe.

[F]

But no, not. Not that old. Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. I would have thought. Yeah. I'd have thought maybe 2002 or 3. Yeah, yeah. Wow. No. 96. How about that? Suck on that one time. Ah, got it. Got. I got. I gotta suck.

[Dale]

93.

[John Holmberg]

3. Those phrases you hear over there quite a bit. So it's gonna normalize when the owners here suck on that one time. If it's Katie kb, They're like, oh, yeah, that makes sense if I'm saying it. Next thing you know, there's meetings and all sorts of stuff. Gotta be careful. I gotta be on our. On our toes today with the ownership group in town. Safeway is where Brett is this morning doing wonderful philanthropic things.

[Brady]

How was the traffic, Brett?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, how was it? This one. Give us a traffic report.

[F]

Well, thank God I got a traffic report from you guys that got me here that much faster. My late start.

[John Holmberg]

Did you see other cars?

[F]

Traffic was great on the 101.

[John Holmberg]

What? That you saw other cars? Because that was our traffic report was. There's going to be cars out there. Watch out for. For those.

[F]

Yeah, I saw a couple of them. Thank you so much for that. It got me here in, like, no time at all.

[John Holmberg]

Did you take my advice that when the other cars slow down, you should too?

[F]

Yeah, Yeah, I did, actually. It made the drive so blissful.

[John Holmberg]

How do we not have a traffic report sponsored with this kind of awesome information that we're handing? It's amazing.

[Brady]

Any broad alerts?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, do you have any hot broad alerts? It's time for Brett's broad alert.

[F]

No, they're all. They're all still sleeping. I did drive through ASU to get here, but, yeah, they're still all sleeping. I didn't see any walks of sh.

[John Holmberg]

Shame either. Yeah, you didn't. You didn't look over at one of the cars and go, whoa.

[Dale]

Oh, the man's trying to eat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no one knows. All right, Just checking. Yeah, because you're right. And you make a good point there, Brett. Accidentally even that the really hot girls aren't getting up right now. They don't have to work if you're really hot. You don't have to work right now. If you're. If you're already at work, you're like a five. You may think you're not, but you're like a five or six. Look, trust me. I'm taught. I'm speaking from experience. I get up at 4 in the morning to go to work. I'm a 2 at best, maybe. So if you're.

[Brady]

It's still summer break for the walk of shame.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

In the fall.

[John Holmberg]

You start seeing them. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. If you're, if you're at work right.

[F]

Now, you're from the strip clubs closed already.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Yeah. Maybe you're heading home from work. It could still be like an 8. But if you're at work right now, you're, you're a five or a six.

[F]

And every morning when you wake up, you're like, why do I get up this early?

[John Holmberg]

And you look in the mirror, you're.

[F]

Like, oh, yeah, that's why.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my fat face. That's keeping me from success. I get it now. Oh, it's me. It's that damn head of mine. It's all of us. Well, I'm surprised, honestly. I look in the mirror and I'm surprised. I, I, I, I'm not at work at 2 in the morning. Nosferatu or something. Anyway, Brett's out there this morning at Safeway, killing it. This year so far for Operation Hydration, Just clobbering. All the records are falling. Halfway through the year of Operation Hydration, and it's just from Memorial Day to Labor day, we have 500,000 bottles donated. That's incredible. Now we have to get another 500,000 to hit our goal, which I stupid, I stupidly brought this up in one of the meetings when we first talked about, like, you know, this, this year and what we're going to do. And they're like, let's hit a million. And everybody's like, oh, my God, could we do it? And then they spewed up the numbers from last year. We're at 500,000. So we got halfway through the summer and we're right on target. But we have to, to do what seemingly was impossible for the first six weeks, the last six weeks. So, Brett, it's up to you. How's it looking out there at Rural and Broadway today?

[F]

It's looking good. No broads yet, but we are getting tons of donations. I've had envelopes showing up like crazy. Daniel swung by, threw me 100 bucks. I ain't got time for this. There go you go shopping. Nice shopping for him. Somebody from some lady from the city of tempe dropped by 10 cases for us. I mean, so it's, it's a good start. A late start, but a good start out here. So we'll be hanging out here till, I don't know, almost, almost 9 o', clock right here at Rural and Broadway at Safeway.

[John Holmberg]

So.

[F]

And of course we got to thank our sponsors, obviously, Safeway and Albertsons learner row, and of course, Amco for helping us make all these shenanigans happen out here. But we'll be signing you guys up for all kinds of concerts. I don't know. I just got here, so I'm not even sure what tickets we have to sign up for. I'm figuring out as I go. But we are collecting the water. That is the important part of me being out here.

[John Holmberg]

Glorious. Yes, that's a fact. And you'll be out there for a little while longer, even though you were delayed by st. Stupid stuff that happens around here quite a bit. Safeway, you got. You figured it out, because you're not an idiot. You figured it out, and you found a way to get the truck that actually loads the water to the water site so the promotion guys didn't load it up in an ultima and make a mess of things Broadway and rural. And you're out there with Vol be day to remember. Brett, we'll check in with you in a little while. Oh, all right. There you go. Thanks, man. There you go. There's Brett Presley doing what he does best. Well, not what you can tell.

[Brady]

The. The weather's better, too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's happy today. He doesn't like standing out there in 100 degrees. He is not. This is a lot for Brett. This is truly what charity looks like. He's. He's braving misery to do this. He doesn't like being in that weather at all. He makes no bones about it. But you know what? He does it. It's just standing that swampy weather. But he's. You know what? He's. And when he comes back, he's super happy. Like, he's killing it. Like people like meeting Brett and hanging out with him and bringing him stuff. And I think that envelope idea he had was a good one. So he has to do all the work. It's great. So awesome job by Brett. That's why we like Brett. You know, in about a week and a half, we'll be celebrating five years of Brett. That's hard to believe, too. Five years of Brett being on with us. That zoom bite.

[Brady]

And it's been two days.

[John Holmberg]

Is that what it feels like to you?

[Brady]

Yeah, it feels like two days.

[John Holmberg]

Just 48 hours.

[Brady]

That's how quick it's gone.

[John Holmberg]

I was going to say it's gone quick, but that seems extreme. Not going to lie to you, but maybe a little. Yeah, it seems. It seems a lot longer than two days. I don't think we've packed in 48 hours of Brett in five years, man. It feels awesome. It does. Go quick. It's time for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at all Pro Shade Concepts. If you are looking to get like, Brett don't want to stand in the heat, you put some shade on that thing. The house that you have right now is probably missing shade somewhere. A patio you could be using more often. Something off the front of the house or the sides. Maybe even when you don't have to.

[Brady]

Deal with a base.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't deal with that stupid base that I'm dealing with. With the purple leaf umbrella I bought. You got the best options ever. Maybe even want to just kind of create a little space that you didn't know could be, you know, side of your house is getting no use. Put that, that up there. You can block your neighbor's view of your patio. All sorts of options and they're all good. And the shade is incredible. Blocks up to 95% of the sun's UV rays with what they do and the, and what the. The stuff they use and it cuts down the dust and the wind and the temps drop up to 20°. And we all love that. So get on board right now. I've heard from them and evidently you guys have attacked all Pro Shade over the last few months. And, and it's a good idea. They're great business. Allproche.com that's where you go. Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Lottery Day. Oh, and National Tattoo Day. All right, Google Trends did a map of the most searched tattoo designs in every state over the past 12 months. And it's pretty basic. Hearts, crosses, flowers and roses. I think they'd put the roses in the flowers, but it's different. I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe flowers in bunches and roses seem to be the. Yeah.

[Brady]

Their own category. Rose buds names are number one in 13 states. We're not in that.

[John Holmberg]

Not necessarily, necessarily.

[Brady]

Arizona, along with nine other states. Hearts are the number one.

[John Holmberg]

We like hearts the most, by the way. Channel 3's Ian Schwartz has just texted and he said F word. I get up at 3:30 in the morning. I must be a negative one. Yeah. Ian, it's not good. If you're waking up that early and you're on tv, they're hiding you.

[Brady]

He makes up for it with all the happy hours. He goes, goes to.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy. That's fact. Ian's good with his hands, so he makes up for it in a big way.

[Brady]

The Internet has also ranked Ranking of the worst tattoo trends ever. Number one, super long quotes.

[John Holmberg]

Terribly stupid. Number two, tribal bands.

[Brady]

That was number. Well, you got. Number three is the barbed wire.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

Brand. But number two was born bows on your calves or thighs?

[John Holmberg]

Bows like a. Oh, like ribbons. Yeah. I was thinking like a bow and no arrow. I'm like, why bows? As in presents like on your calf? Yeah, because they're supposed to be like.

[E]

As part of a like, hosiery that has the little bows on the back. Like women have them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. But I didn't never see.

[Brady]

Yeah. I don't know if I've seen apple.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I've never hung out with meth addict whores before, so I guess that would be we.

[E]

Have we done the super bowl party any normal?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I didn't pay attention to their bodies that way.

[Brady]

Number four was manual DIY stick and poke tattoos. Were you doing it yourself?

[John Holmberg]

The. Is there any normal woman out there with bows tattooed to her legs like she's just making an announcement to unwrap her legs and spread them open. That's essentially like, unwrap this. There's a present inside.

[E]

This isn't exactly the same thing I was talking about, but it's close.

[John Holmberg]

That's bows on thighs.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And then those are ribbons looking like that. Yeah. Oh, most of them are. The poor bows are stacked in cellulite in all these pictures. Oh, God, this is disgusting. Don't untie that. She'll leak out.

[E]

For every one of Those, you get.

[John Holmberg]

10 of the others. Hot one there and then. Yeah. The other ones are. The majority of them are unappreciated, appealing.

[Brady]

Number five was Chinese characters.

[John Holmberg]

I told you. My friend drew a little action figure of a man. Got a cool Chinese character that was supposed to say courage or something on his stomach. And then a Chinese guy told him a couple years later that it was the logo in China for Coca Cola. The dude just carved him so he's got Coca Cola across his his stomach.

[Brady]

Finally. Tramp stamps.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't matter what it is.

[Brady]

I thought that would have been been higher, but well.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they were a big deal for a while. And now people who love tramp stamps are 50. It's tough. Saturday Night Live did that thing a long time ago. And 50 years from now, the word cherry bomb above your ass is not going to look as good as you thought back when you had a waist o morning sickness. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[Toledo]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. If you rolled 1000 dice. The odds of rolling exactly 500 even numbers and 500 odd numbers is only 2.5%.

[John Holmberg]

Seems about right.

[E]

Thousand days chance.

[John Holmberg]

Chance is a. Chance is a very strange mathematical thing.

[Brady]

You might know this baseball fun fact. Okay, a pitcher named Mike Baksic Sr. Pitched against Hank Aaron. In the game where Aaron hit his record 755th home run. Baksic got him out. Another one of his teammates gave up the home run. Later in the game, 31 years later, his son Michael Mike backs Junior through the pitch where Barry Bonds hit his record breaking 756th homer.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? I didn't know that at all either. How about that? Wow. I wish I could have called that game, but I didn't because it was the Giants and we all know they're a bunch of. Anyway, welcome back Altay. Z9003 3.

[Brady]

The average dog creates 274 pounds of poop a year.

[John Holmberg]

Average dog is what, 40 pounds? If we're going average. Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what I'm saying. If you're averaging between a Chihuahua at.

[Brady]

550 pounds or 200 pound Mastiff, most.

[John Holmberg]

Of them are probably 40 or 50, 60 pounds.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they create 270 pounds of poop a year.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, what Brady does.

[E]

Come on now. You gotta.

[John Holmberg]

If a 50 pound dog drops 270.

[E]

Pounds of poop a year, what sound does it make?

[John Holmberg]

John? Well, there's a specific sound we don't like. Let's not play. What's that sound? That's not what we're doing. That's a mustard bottle. Stop it.

[Brady]

Coco set a record last night on the walk.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

She went four times.

[John Holmberg]

She had a four drop. Yeah.

[E]

Did you bring four bags?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Okay, that was probably.

[John Holmberg]

How many pounds do you think you've. And now the new you that says he holds it for hours, which I don't believe.

[E]

The new you.

[John Holmberg]

That's a new Brady. I'm not talking about Coco anymore, buddy. We're on you. The new you says you clamp it up and maybe go.

[Brady]

Well, it's, it's not necessarily clamping up. It's going once a day.

[John Holmberg]

Day. Once a day. This was a four times a day guy.

[Brady]

Three at least.

[E]

So let me ask you this. Do you think going from four times a day to once, is that better for you?

[John Holmberg]

Is it unexplained?

[Brady]

There's a little less volume of consumption.

[John Holmberg]

So eating less.

[E]

Oh yeah, I do. I don't, I don't eat near as much.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Is it glps? Are you doing those? Are you firing. That does make you more. Anymore. No, they stop your digestion. Shut up. Really?

[E]

I thought they made you just get rid of it.

[John Holmberg]

No, it sits in your belly longer. Keeps you full.

[Brady]

I'm not doing a glp, okay.

[E]

Oh, he was mad about.

[John Holmberg]

No, I just. It. You do whatever you want, but I.

[Brady]

Have been taking the last month for my kidneys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. You're doing some different Sarsiga.

[E]

Which one is that? I've seen that.

[Brady]

Which is supposed to help the kidney function, but it also can help. They say one of the effects also helps appetite.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a suppressant. Yeah. So you're not eating as much. So you don't poop as much.

[Brady]

Well. And I. And. But I had been doing that for a little while.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. What is the pounds you think that your peak a day?

[E]

Yeah. Say ten years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Ten years ago. What do you think when you're four. At least four. Four times a day and then once in the middle of the night for no reason.

[Brady]

What is the.

[John Holmberg]

What do you think? What do you think the weight of each volume? I think you were dropping 10 pounds a day.

[Brady]

Generally the afternoon one was the heaviest payload.

[E]

Because he had two lunches.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he would sometimes have. I got a second lunch was mentioned. Second.

[Brady]

The biggest meal of the day.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? Yeah, because it was multiple times. Lunch never had an end date.

[Brady]

It was just the appetite was the highest right around lunch. You could tell the end of the show you could start getting hangry a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

So let's say you dropped 10 pounds of poo.

[Brady]

Well, we have the. And that's what I was trying to remember.

[John Holmberg]

We.

[Brady]

They also did the fun fact or I did it not too long ago about that human. The average human lays so much a year. I think it was. I thought it was like £1,000 or something in there.

[John Holmberg]

Well, maybe they did the lifetime if you're doing four. And each one's a pound and a half.

[Brady]

No. Yeah, each one would be no. A. A probably pound less than a pound each one.

[John Holmberg]

If dogs. I don't know.

[E]

That seems light even for me.

[John Holmberg]

That seems like. Seems light. I.

[Brady]

I can tell you. I've weighed myself multiple times.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you don't. That has nothing to do with anything. You can't get on the scale before and after a poo.

[Brady]

Just out of curiosity.

[John Holmberg]

No. 1460, let's say two pounds.

[E]

Two pounds a day.

[John Holmberg]

Two pounds a day. Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

That's 700 pounds a year.

[John Holmberg]

721 pounds on my math in the leap year. That's terrifying.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's what I was saying. Like people there. So they're saying.

[John Holmberg]

So think of it. When we.

[Brady]

You were going at what, how much volume?

[E]

Well, if I did it right, 366 days in a leap year.

[John Holmberg]

366 times 30. Well, if you did two times equals times three pounds, we'll say a day, you're 2100. What?

[Dale]

21.

[E]

Oh, yeah, I guess it would.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Now if he's saying what he's saying, if, like, if you want to buy his lies, there's five times two times one pound a day. And they call Cal Raleigh the big like 7:30. But if you're right about that and you're only doing a pound of volume a day, and you do that twice a day, 365 days a year.

[E]

Yeah, because I guarantee the input is.

[John Holmberg]

More than £700 every year. You crap the same size of what we first met Ralphie May.

[Brady]

Ralphie May.

[John Holmberg]

Ralphie was £720 when we first met him. And at the end of the year, if you collected it all, you could build a poop statue of Ralphie accurate to weight. That's not fighting, Halberg.

[Brady]

That's disgusting.

[John Holmberg]

Besides that, I'd step.

[Brady]

Chocolate Ralph.

[John Holmberg]

Chocolate Ralphie. Which doesn't sound so bad at all. £730 of chocolate Ralphie. Put that in my belly.

[Brady]

A new poll asked people, would you leave your partner for a million dollars?

[E]

Yes. And she should too.

[John Holmberg]

Millions low.

[E]

Yeah, millions.

[Brady]

43 of the people tax free. 43 of Americans said they would.

[John Holmberg]

Is it tax free? Well, that's what divorce. Divorce is. Yeah, exactly. You figure out how much it costs to leave the person. The wives are figuring out how much they're going to get in retirement and the guys are figuring out how much they're going to lose.

[Brady]

Same poll, 40 of Americans said they'd accept 33 million.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa.

[Brady]

Even if it meant financially ruining someone.

[John Holmberg]

Else to leave their spouse.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You give me $33 million. I.

[Brady]

And, and, and, and someone else you're financially ruining the spouse.

[John Holmberg]

Someone totally unrelated someone.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So I get 33 million and I can leave. That's fair.

[Brady]

You know, someone's going to be.

[E]

Angel gets burned his wings.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right. I'll just cut that. Do the check for 4 million and be like, sorry about that. I didn't want to leave you in the lurch.

[Brady]

46% said they'd consider it, depending on who gets destroyed in the process.

[John Holmberg]

33 million on beer.

[Brady]

Hitman 46 would enter a real life version of Squid game for a shot at 33 million. Despite the game's 99.8 death rate, there's.

[John Holmberg]

Only one winner and he's the only survivor. Would you do Squid games for. No, you wouldn't. The. The amount of money that. Because in Squid Games they're always like 46 billion. Then I'm like, how much is that in American money?

[E]

I've had a couple got paid, did leave. I know.

[John Holmberg]

Not.

[E]

Not dead.

[Brady]

You're given your choice.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

In the first one, I thought that's.

[John Holmberg]

What they have the option that the whole team can agree to keep going if you agree to keep going. Or you stop and they'll stop and split it if everybody agrees.

[Brady]

Even though 90 wanted to go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They knew that there'd be a couple greedy ones.

[Brady]

48% would embarrass them themselves up on live TV for a million bucks.

[John Holmberg]

I do it every day.

[Brady]

But 13 would do it just for 5,000. 4% would do it for 500.

[John Holmberg]

500.

[E]

Ruin their spouse.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. Humiliate themselves that for $500? Yeah. Wow. No, that's. You're dead broke. You're already humiliating yourself by saying you'll take 500 to be a booze hound. Dancing booze.

[Brady]

41 would give up sex entirely for $1 million.

[Dale]

Dumb.

[John Holmberg]

That's women. We only ask women that.

[Brady]

Broads.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Man said, yeah, that sounds great.

[Brady]

59 would give up technology and live off the grid for a million bucks.

[John Holmberg]

I. I'm. Yes, in a second. Oh, in a second.

[Brady]

Fifteen would frame it. Friend. For a crime they didn't commit. For a million bucks?

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Wow. I would for a million. What's the crime?

[E]

Yeah, that's.

[John Holmberg]

What. Petty theft. What are we getting? Like murder? No. They don't go away forever. Do they? Murder million dollars. Well, murder you would. I'm just saying, what's the crime? Depends on the crime. The price would move with the crime. If I've got a frame Brady for murder, that's like seven or eight million dollars. A million dollars. I'll frame Brady for a robbery or grand theft auto or something.

[Brady]

21% would pass on a million if it meant they'd lose access to social media.

[John Holmberg]

That's insane.

[Brady]

Crazy.

[John Holmberg]

To me. It's just not that important to me at all.

[Brady]

How about this one? 54% would reject a million dollars if their parents controlled the money.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting.

[Brady]

Give you a million bucks, but your parents will control that money.

[John Holmberg]

You have to ask over half. No. No, I wouldn't. I don't think I'd do that either. Yeah, I don't think I want my mom and dad in charge. You have to ask permission for that money.

[Brady]

The last one was 38. Would pause the deal if accepting it meant their enemy would also profit.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, my enemy. If you're making Pratt richer, why is he automatically my enemy? He's been vanquished. I know. I don't know that I have an enemy right now. Well, maybe I can. I don't know. Yeah, I have enemy. I have enemy light. I don't have anybody that I can be light.

[E]

Who's in the movie.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, I'm just saying, like, if people are like, ah, I hope that.

[E]

Person loses their job.

[John Holmberg]

You just don't care about them enough to like. Like, it's not like you don't want.

[E]

To see them for them, but you're not against them.

[John Holmberg]

If they move on and they have a decent life, you're fine. You just. It just don't like them. You. You're happy when you hear bad news about them, but you don't care if you hear bad news about it. The enemy is somebody you, like, actively want to hear bad news about and you celebrate.

[Brady]

Every year, we get the list of the most popular baby names. It's pretty standard that the last 10 years, like Olivia, Liam, Emma, Noah, Hayden, Caden, all those. Could this be added to the new.

[John Holmberg]

We have a new annoying, maybe a trend.

[Brady]

Yeah. Lady shared a text online line where her older cousin told her she settled on a baby name for her girl. Vaselinea. The woman sent back a photo of Vaseline and asked, like, this thing, but her mother said, I like that, but I wanna NIA on the end of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this didn't happen in Gilbert.

[Brady]

Doesn't say where it happened.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we all know where it happened. We're not allowed to say completely where it happened, but there was a lot of bass in the area, and somebody screamed World Star right after the lady sent the picture.

[Brady]

It was actually in the Hamptons.

[John Holmberg]

Was it really? No, it was on Fire Island. One of the gays named their kids Vaseline. And now that makes some sense. Why? Man.

[Brady]

Okay, we got a love triangle that went. Went the other way. It. There's trouble because this is in West Virginia. You got two women and a. And a man. Clarissa Moser, Maggie Denham, and Chaz War Suarez.

[John Holmberg]

Chaz Suarez, Chucky Suarez living up in West Virginia. That's a long walk.

[Brady]

Chaz goes about 6:1. I got a mug shot of him.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Anyway, they all three hooked up at one time, and then the one girl says she's pregnant. That angered the other girl and Chaz as well.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So they basically pinned her down and said, prove it by taking a pregnancy test. And she wouldn't. But the one girl was carrying pink Glock. Camouflage. Camouflaged Glock. It's like camouflage if it's red brass knuckles.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

To enforce camouflage.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's pink camouflage. Yeah. It's camouflage to nothing. I see. It's just that pattern. Yeah.

[Brady]

So then when the police showed up, the one girl says, yeah, I had.

[John Holmberg]

The clock and trying to scare the.

[Brady]

Piss out of her, but I. They're in my pocket the whole time.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady]

The other girl claimed she had. She yelled it up against, take this pregnancy test.

[John Holmberg]

Right. P. Or else.

[Brady]

And Chaz was holding her down as well. The cops decided after everything said and done, we're gonna charge all three of you with murder, with wanton indictment, endangerment of the baby.

[John Holmberg]

What's happening in West Virginia?

[Brady]

Well, here's a three. Here's. Here's Chaz.

[John Holmberg]

So who's holding the stick?

[Brady]

I'll let you guess.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. You had to hold the stick down by the urethra.

[Brady]

Well, not. Not only stick, but who has the. The Glock in the brass?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, which of the girls? Yeah. Okay.

[Toledo]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Which one has which one's pregnant and which one has the Glock?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Going to hand me the picture now. All right. Number one is an unattractive, lumpy lady with very greasy hair. And number two is a relatively attractive Kristi Noam type. Yeah, sort of. I would say. Yeah. The pretty one's got the gun, and the fat ugly one's pregnant. Other way around. No kidding.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting. And now I can put it on altogether. So the fat ugly one and also.

[Brady]

Charged with unlawful detention and conspiracy to commit a felony.

[John Holmberg]

And Chaz Suarez. They were in cahoots to pin down the hot girl and say, get rid of that pee on this thing.

[Brady]

Chaz was upset.

[John Holmberg]

Did they want the baby?

[Brady]

I'm thinking that Chaz is upset that he's.

[John Holmberg]

She.

[Brady]

She's. She's trying to cut one one out of it by saying, I'm pregnant.

[John Holmberg]

Why would that cut her out?

[Brady]

He's got responsibilities.

[John Holmberg]

He's still bang the fat one.

[Brady]

I mean, again, I'm throwing that out there.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna throw out that the hot pregnant one was saying, I'm not gonna keep it. And Chaz and The fat one were.

[E]

Like Chaz and the fat one's a great police.

[John Holmberg]

Chaz and the fat one is an awesome. This fall on Fox. Chaz on the fat one. Mystery solved.

[Brady]

Interesting thought about band name too, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, by the way, I just got an email that said Vaseline has a cousin named Ky Jelia. So yeah, there's a lot. Kyelia is a really.

[E]

Would it be Kia Jellia yet?

[John Holmberg]

Kylia Kagelli and Vaselinea. Or Vaseline, as my ex girlfriend used to call. She called, well, baseline Vaseline, but she was also one that thought the word vineyard was vineyard and K Chaos was chaos. She had some phonetic errors.

[E]

When I first moved here and saw baseline, my first thought was Vaseline.

[John Holmberg]

It looks like Vaseline. Yeah. And why one is? Why isn't. Why isn't it Vaseline? Right.

[Brady]

Police in Boise, Idaho are looking for a serial butt slapper.

[John Holmberg]

All right?

[Brady]

He's been going around on a dirt bike smacking or grabbing women's butts. And he rides by. Several women have filed reports over the past month. All of the butt slaps occurred between June 18 and July 3. They described him as white male and dark clothing, often wearing all black. He also wears gloves and a ski mask for safety. Cops think it's the either a skull mask from Call of Duty or a venom mask from Spider man, but he.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of stopped after the third. He hasn't been at it since. Yeah, it's a little window of ass slap and opportunity. And he took advantage of it and then he's. Now he's quit.

[Brady]

Gone.

[John Holmberg]

He might have gotten away with it.

[Brady]

Be a tough one.

[John Holmberg]

Perfect caper. I don't know anybody in the area who has a cruddy dirt bike. Hey, a big deal.

[Brady]

Oh, good saya. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. The Sia gang is back again for more water drops. This is beautiful.

[Brady]

By the way. A little hack. If you're not not wanting to go through the AI ordering at Taco Bell.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Brady]

Evidently they've started doing AI ordering and the drive thru.

[E]

How does that work?

[Brady]

It detects your cars up front and says, can I take.

[John Holmberg]

Or you just tell a robot and it rings it in for you? Oh, I haven't seen that.

[Brady]

And this guy discovered that you can get a real person by ordering a thousand bottles of water.

[John Holmberg]

Because AI will be like, all right, wait a minute. It's like hitting zero on the operator. Yeah, 1,000 bottles of taco water, please. Okay, sure. Hold on just a second. Why are you Doing this. This is a terrible order. I wish we'd have kept the Stephen Hawking voice for all of it. I don't need it to sound realistic. Welcome to Toggle Belt, and I will be helping you with your order. A thousand bottles of water, please. No, no. I am actually a real human being.

[E]

Sorry, where's my water?

[John Holmberg]

Damn. A real worker. In the window. Oh, I thought you were one of those AI guys, because you sound. Anyway, did you still really want 1,000 bottles of water?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Just a chalupa, please.

[Brady]

Oh, two radio videos. This one's a construction fight. This is a real throwdown.

[John Holmberg]

A fight on site. A site fight. All right. In Malaysia, all the hard hats and sticks. Oh, they're going at it. Oh, one. And it's all out there. Everybody hates one employee. Oh, they just threw him to the floor and his head hit the ground. All right, break it up there.

[E]

You follow the safety rule.

[John Holmberg]

Honestly, this is how I feel at work here. At any given time, the whole place is going to start hitting me with sticks. Oh, my God.

[E]

Still going. Look at. They're looking for implements.

[John Holmberg]

They left a dead guy. That first. First guy got thrown down on his head.

[Brady]

That slab hit. He should have known better. He took his helmet off.

[John Holmberg]

That's his head hitting the ground. Wow, man. Did they say why this happened?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Amazing. Okay, next.

[Brady]

Is a guy that's gonna ride a donkey.

[John Holmberg]

This always sounds like a good idea. Is this Mexico?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, John, this looks heavy. Mexico to me.

[E]

It's aj.

[Toledo]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

It could be. I know. There they go, riding a wild donkey out into a. Oh, the donkey doesn't care about fences. The donkey dropped its head and ran square into a fence. There was no turning. He knew. Donkey's all calm in the pen. He's sitting there like, all right, you want to ride me while. Watch this.

[Brady]

The funniest thing is the guy gets up afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, of course.

[Brady]

I thought he'd be down pretty hard.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't even buck him. He just runs right into the donkey.

[E]

Kind of turns to the side before donkey knows.

[John Holmberg]

He knows he had a plan. Oh, donkeys are so much smarter than we give him credit for. That's a great one. I like that. And because it's Thursday, Brett doesn't have any videos today, which is a nice little day off and good since our. Our owners are here. All right, we'll talk to Brett in just a little bit. He's out there at the Safeway on Broadway and rural. He's hanging out there for Operation Hydration helping out the Phoenix rescue mission. He's giving out volbeat tickets. He's got himself data, remember tickets, all sorts of stuff for you guys if you'd come by, drop an envelope of cash or even some water, go in there and get a case. Or just like these guys from saya trucking that keep dropping off tons and tons of water back again. And we're getting closer and closer to our million bottles for the year, which is outstanding. Thank you all. We're not done yet. We're only halfway there. That's beautiful. There goes your Brady report. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? 98.

[Toledo]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

It's a beautiful thing. There you go. It's Lincoln stinking park right there. Crawling. Brett's out this morning. We are not crawling. We are running. And I mean running through operation hydration this. This year. We've been at it for a long time, and you guys have really jumped in that Saya group just dropped off another giant truck of water here in our lobby. Our lobby is just packed full, which is so great. You love when you put something together and you're like, maybe people will respond, maybe they won't. I think it's awesome you guys jump on this and that. That means that you. You're. You kind of agree with the stance that's taken. And it's also been proven over the past however many years We've done this 20 plus with the Phoenix rescue mission that they're a standup operation. So it's even better to have good people in your corner. You guys have been great. Brett is doing his job out at Safeway this morning for operation hydration on rural. Rural and Broadway. Brett, how's it going for you this morning?

[F]

It's going great, man. We got pretty much the truck, the bed full. I'm working on the cab next. We've been getting slammed out here. A lot of people rolling in, you know, hey, man, I don't got any cash on me or I don't got any. I don't got time to up shut. So here's an envelope. Here's. Here's 100 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Here's.

[F]

You know, here's 20 bucks. Here's 40 bucks. Everybody's just slamming some money. Of course, I gotta thank our buddies over at Paul Bunyan firewood over in the old guad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I forgot about those guys.

[F]

Yeah, no, they're great. So, yeah, it's going great out here. So come on out here, you know, grab some water, donate it's all for a good cause. I mean, a city this big, nobody should go thirsty, as you always say. And, you know, again, if you don't have time, I'll go do the shopping for you.

[John Holmberg]

Not a problem.

[F]

And while you're out here, we'll sign you up for volbeat tickets and I believe, a day to remember. And of course, we got all KPD swag. So again, it is Broadway and Rural right here in front of Safeway. And we got to thank our friends over, obviously over at Safeway and Albertsons Amco, and of course, learner and row.

[John Holmberg]

Beautiful. Excellent job, Brett. Bring it back all full up. And then we'll start unloading this truck that's in our parking lot now and fill that lobby up some more as we. Our quest for a million bottles continues. Nice job, man. We'll take. Talk to you in a bit. Thanks, man. See you. There you go. It's Brett Vesley out there this morning. Safeway, Broadway and rural. For another 25 minutes or so. You can go hang out with Brett. Go get your ticket chances and drop off some cash or some water for the Phoenix rescue mission Mike Vecchi owns. Coming in. I wish Brett was here. He get Vecchion and Vesley in the same alphabetically. These guys are twins. Mike Vecchion is here. We're going to chat with him next. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98. Well, this is your fault, Mike. It was too entertaining. Off. Yeah. And now we gotta try.

[Brady]

Thanks for coming in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this is Mike Vecchion. Everybody is a great guy.

[Dale]

Thanks for having me and thanks for it being a hundred.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's nice today. You got a good day?

[Dale]

Oh, is it good?

[John Holmberg]

Yesterday and today are as good as this gets. Beautiful. I mean, we're going outside playing like this is outdoor weather for us.

[Dale]

Well, it's. I love it because it's 110 outside and then it's 50.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

In here and everywhere you go. So you got to bring a sweater when it's 110, walking around like a psycho.

[John Holmberg]

It is kind of weird.

[Dale]

Good climate that you guys chose.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we do. Well, you know, it's kind of chosen for us, really, in most cases. I don't think anybody just landed.

[Dale]

Well, you start a town in a desert, what do you expect?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you should. You should be aware of your surroundings. Yes, that's better.

[Brady]

We did find out more concrete adds.

[John Holmberg]

To the heat a little bit. Yeah, we're adding tons every day, so it works out. Mike, where. Where are you playing this weekend? I don't even know nobody.

[Dale]

10Pm Prov.

[John Holmberg]

10Pm Prom. Okay. Mike's. 10pm Way to go. Nice job, Cardless. 10p improv this weekend. You want to go out there? 10p improv.com is how you do it. We were talking, of course. Because you won't stop talking about it. About Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah. Yeah. First thing you said. What do you guys think? Like, immediately. We didn't say hello to each other.

[Dale]

Well, I came in hot. I said, I'm pro Epstein. Are you guys. Are you guys not, like, to party?

[John Holmberg]

Who's with me? Because. Because I'm not doing this interview unless you're on my team.

[Dale]

Yeah, Yeah. I came in hot. I came in hot on the abstain.

[John Holmberg]

Your shirt says Jeffrey rules. I didn't know what it meant until then, but, yeah, it's a weird time. We were just talking off there about how, like, all these people. I got into it, what, two days ago when I mentioned that my theory about the Epstein case is not to tell the masses everything you don't want to know. We're terrible with information, especially if some of it was lies.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you pull that sweater thread, and the next thing you know, there's no more royal family. There's no more political. You know, three houses are gone.

[Dale]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Everything goes away because of this one thing. Because we acted a fool.

[Dale]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

When we got the truth. Right. Or.

[Dale]

Or musical theater students. Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody should get a Today. Yeah.

[Brady]

It's made the comment that we're a young country.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

We're kids compared to Europe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they're. And they could fall from anything that goes from this. So I think it's best. And I got a ton of emails from people.

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Like you said, citizen, we need to know the truth.

[Dale]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you want. I don't think anybody needs the truth.

[Dale]

Right. The truth is that 27 people overdosed in Baltimore last weekend. So maybe we should look at that. But no.

[John Holmberg]

No. Were any of them famous? Was Tupac family involved in that?

[Dale]

Unless Bill Gates had sex with him.

[John Holmberg]

Before they died, we don't care.

[Dale]

We don't care.

[John Holmberg]

That is so true.

[Brady]

In the picture, he's in the background.

[John Holmberg]

We scream and yell at stuff like that. I always said that when co. Covid was going on people, I would look at people who were wildly overweight and, like, uncomfortably red. Right. Like, they're about to die, and they're like, you're putting a vaccine in me. I don't know what's in that stuff. And I'm like, wait a minute. When did you become Dr. Oz? Now you're all of a sudden. You won't put this. Your temple. It doesn't get. You have to look into every ingredient.

[Dale]

I love that. It's the same thing where I'm not gonna let him put it in me. Guys, drinking a scotch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Scotch poison and two blood pressure pills. That's saving my life. I didn't look into the ingredients. We're so dumb. Generally.

[Dale]

Yeah. I don't think. I think a lot of it is like, comes from a place where it was like, we need to get to the bottom of this. It's like none of it's really in good faith.

[Toledo]

No.

[Dale]

If we're really looking at ourselves in.

[John Holmberg]

The mirror, you know, then there's one.

[Brady]

Or two particular people that I think people want to see. I want to see this guy fall.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And I hope he's in this thing. But you don't realize, oh, it's going.

[John Holmberg]

To drop everything now. Would you have gone to Epstein island had given the chance.

[Dale]

Well, let me tell you what I think is on the tapes that the department of just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the test.

[Dale]

Do you want to know?

[John Holmberg]

I would love to know.

[Dale]

Pickleball.

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Dale]

I think it's just pickleball. And. And that's worse than any sex that you could watch on a tape. I think it's just bad pickleball. Middle aged men playing pickleball.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of pulled hamstrings. A lot of guys whose Achilles hurt. Yeah. And they're bent over.

[Dale]

You want to wade through all of that video, then you go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe that's all they did. They got through about 40 hours of pickleball. Where's the. Where's the sex? I need to see. Yeah, you're probably right. He had to have a pickleball. Probably at least one.

[Dale]

People were doing other things. It wasn't just. You think it was molesting all the time. It's like molest, molest, molest. We encourage you to molest. But you know what? No smoking.

[John Holmberg]

It's like, what?

[Dale]

I can't even smoke after I molest. It's like, look, dude, that's a disgusting habit. And you need to go outside 50ft from the building and also wear your seatbelt because if you get into an accident, you hurt your arm, you're not going to be able to molest.

[John Holmberg]

And eventually with that much molesting, you're going to get bored and want to do something else. That's Enough molesting for today.

[Brady]

I see signs on the beach. Beaches. That's all it says.

[John Holmberg]

Did they have an activities card? Like on a. On a cruise? Like 8 to 8:35? We molest. Yeah. Breakfast.

[Dale]

Yeah, I know it wasn't on the itinerary. I didn't expect to molest three times today. I gotta. God, I gotta hydrate.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not ready for the third molesting. I'm gonna skip this one and maybe try some pickleball.

[Brady]

We have to leave because you were molesting during the nap.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That is. You woke up a lot of people.

[Brady]

You broke the rule.

[Dale]

Wasn't that the thing I was supposed to do? I was supposed to molest people in their sleep? I thought that was part of it. No, you gotta actually let them sleep sometimes.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I think you've broken record for me of me finding the word molest funnier each time you say it. And I really never thought that day would come, but here it is. And I appreciate Mike Vecchion has done something I didn't think was possible. Make me love how funny molest is.

[Dale]

Well, yeah. I'm not. We're not. None of us are comics anymore. We're all now investigators and Internet sleuths getting to the bottom of stuff. Epstein's on our list.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he has.

[Dale]

This is my idea for pedophiles, though. We make them all wear shirts. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

As if they weren't before.

[Dale]

Well, the. Instead of, like, the ankle or going to the houses and saying that I moved into the neighborhood and I'm a sex offender, they just wear a shirt. They're required to wear it at all times in public. And on the front it says, I'm a registered sex offender. So everybody knows. And on the back, my other car is a van. Because we can make stuff fun, too. It doesn't have to be all.

[John Holmberg]

Why is it all modeling? Yeah. I.

[Dale]

It's like, you know what? I know that that guy's dangerous. I'm gonna keep my kid away from him. But that's pretty funny, too, you know?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it's funny when he's walking away and that's the way you like him leaving a room.

[Dale]

That's a great point. That's a great point.

[John Holmberg]

You want him out, you want him going that way. And at least he made me. Left me with a smile.

[Dale]

That's great.

[John Holmberg]

And he didn't molest anything along the way. That's great. We're getting to the bottom of stuff. That is fixing the world. That's a scarlet letter with a little bit of a wink and a smile, which I really like. Yeah, that's it. What other ideas do you have?

[Dale]

Segregated cemeteries.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, go on.

[Dale]

You don't have to be those people anymore.

[John Holmberg]

You mean you spent your whole life trying not to live in their neighborhood? Right.

[Dale]

And then you want them out and you get. Now you got to spend eternity with them. No, not on our watch. Segregated cemeteries.

[Brady]

So easy.

[Dale]

Yeah, it's just people with just. Cemeteries are untapped, segregated. And there should be food trucks.

[John Holmberg]

Food trucks at the cemetery.

[Dale]

Food trucks at the cemetery. You go to visit your father and then you get a sausage and peppers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

It's like. It's what he was have wanted.

[John Holmberg]

And a lot of people would leave those for the tombstones, which I'd never understand. They look like a magazine or something.

[Dale]

Well, here's my other idea. I have a lot of cemetery ideas. You put a QR code on this on the headstone, and it's a documentary about the person.

[John Holmberg]

Phenomenal.

[Dale]

So it's like a museum. Like, you're going around, you see your father, and then you go around to the wine.

[Brady]

Like the 19 crimes.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Dale]

The background story of it. And you like, you know, that's pretty cool. You go learn about everybody. He was a World War II. He had a short temper. It's like, we're all just not gonna have jobs anyway because of AI. We might as well do content.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I love it.

[Dale]

All content.

[John Holmberg]

I have a friend who passed away 10 years ago, and he was a huge football fan, big fantasy football guy. And every year one of our friends goes and drops off the new fantasy football right around now, August, usually the fantasy football preseason guide. And I told him last time, I'm like, you can stop doing that. Because he doesn't know who any of these college players are. And, like, you're just confusing him. If he is actually capable of picking that up and reading, going.

[Dale]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't even know Boise State had a guy like he.

[Dale]

Hopefully he videos himself doing it and puts it on TikTok. Because if he doesn't do that, did it really even happen?

[John Holmberg]

It's the tree in the forest at this point. That's all. TikTok is Mike Vecchion at the Tempe Improv this weekend. Tempe improv.com how's your personal life? Everything good?

[Dale]

It's great. But please come to the shows because we're going to be looking into things. It's not just comedy.

[John Holmberg]

Is there molesting at any point? In your show?

[Dale]

It could be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

Yeah. If you're in the front.

[John Holmberg]

You might.

[Dale]

If you're in the front. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a Gallagher show in a weird way. Instead of fruit chunks.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We replace.

[Dale]

We replaced that with aggressive sexual behavior.

[John Holmberg]

That is the modern Gallagher. We all knew it was going to go that road, and that was the path he was naturally on.

[Dale]

Unfortunately. Forget the watermelon's an important part.

[John Holmberg]

It's nostalgic. That's why people want to get molested with nostalgia. I say that's why grandpa was so memorable.

[Dale]

Do you think Jesse Smollett is behind all of it?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. I. I.

[Dale]

Wouldn't that be the ultimate hoax?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. I dream that. That's true.

[Dale]

Here's my idea for the Jews. They leave Israel and they all go to Epstein island. And that's their new home. And they wouldn't even have to change the name. Epstein Island. It's available. It's there. Get ourselves out of multiple wars.

[John Holmberg]

It's a Jew island to begin with. Epstein, come on. You are saving the planet.

[Dale]

The president should run for office.

[John Holmberg]

You should. Normally I ask a comedian at the end of the interview, Change the world. Leave us with words of wisdom. But that's all you.

[Dale]

I'm changing it in the interview.

[John Holmberg]

You're doing it while we chat.

[Dale]

Let's go to traffic and transit. On the ones.

[John Holmberg]

There's cars out in the road. Be careful. Car in front of you hit your brakes, you hit yours. I've never understood traffic on the radio. I won't do it. I've thrown it away. If you're too dumb to know traffic rules, tap of the brakes. Yeah. If a guy in front of you is doing it, you should too. That's a rule. Like, I don't want to make radio entertainment a driving class. Also, when the sun's up, it's going to start getting hotter. I need to give you the weather. And you've got phones now. Don't get me started.

[Brady]

Pops up on your screen most of the time. If you have the accident.

[Dale]

Right.

[Brady]

So enough.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we. We have everything. We don't need some guy going, hey, on the W on the Red Mountain Freeway, there's people tapping their brakes. I would hope so. Then they'll run it. Try not to hit anybody. And they got a guy in a chopper from over.

[Dale]

Yes, and all of that interruption is cutting into our Epstein news.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. We don't know what's going on. Now when you got some jackass in a helicopter telling you somebody got in a wreck and it was. That's all I care about. Let me ask you this, because this has been my theory all week. And now that you've theorized and everything, and I want to hear your take on it. I have an answer the audience already knows.

[Dale]

The answer is yes. We should bomb Iran.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly what it was.

[Dale]

I thought that's where you were going. A good guest anticipates.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Glass factory Iran or not. That was my question. My God, the man's genius. I was going to ask you this, and I don't know how old you are. You're younger than me. You look great.

[Dale]

Oh, thank you. No, I'm actually 52.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we're the same exact age. I'll be 53 next week.

[Dale]

Class of 91.

[John Holmberg]

90 for. All right. A little smarter than you.

[Dale]

Yes, you were.

[John Holmberg]

I got out of it.

[Dale]

You look great, too.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you, sir.

[Dale]

But you know what? Not to. Not to. Just everybody here kind of looks great. You think in Arizona.

[John Holmberg]

You think we're happy?

[Dale]

Everybody looks good. Pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Where's the place that you go? Whoo. This isn't working out for anyone.

[Dale]

The Midwest is rough.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And the people.

[Dale]

The Midwest are great people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale]

But it's like. I get you. Just like it's cold.

[John Holmberg]

You're saying they have to have personalities to make up for how terrible they look.

[Dale]

I think they just get. I think they just get into hard life, eating and, and, and kids. And I don't have kids. So it's like.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't it great?

[Dale]

It's, it's good. It's really good. I, I, I, I might want to have them, though, so.

[John Holmberg]

It's too late.

[Dale]

It is too late.

[John Holmberg]

It's too late. You will be 70. Too late. Look at him. He is terrible. And he's only 44. The man looks absolutely just drained by.

[Dale]

What about Al Pacino and Dairo?

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Dale]

They're in their 80s.

[John Holmberg]

And Dairo has to do Bad Grandpa, too. Like his life is over. Like he's the Dairo we used to.

[Toledo]

We remember.

[John Holmberg]

Remember the good De Niro, Right? The last few De Niro things.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He's just doing it to pay for babies.

[Brady]

You need someone to take care of both you.

[Dale]

Yeah, well, I would kill to get into Bad Grandpa, too.

[John Holmberg]

Would you like to be.

[Dale]

I would love to be just in that movie for five seconds, so.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I guess for the stories. I would also like to be in Bad Grandpa, too. But I don't want to be this. That's actually my goal is.

[Dale]

You're killing you're almost bad Grandpa too.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want to be the star of bad. You just want to be like a guy who shows up.

[Dale]

I want to be in any movie, in any capacity at all. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You would do any movie ever?

[Dale]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Porn.

[Dale]

Not the main character, but I would be the guy who comes in shocked, so to speak. Yes. I don't. I don't have the equipment to be.

[Brady]

Stuck in the dryer.

[John Holmberg]

When you say comes in shocked. Is she a new artist? I don't know who shocked is. Let me ask you my question here. We're the same age, so this works out. Out even better. You grew up at the same time. I grew up where there was plastic on furniture.

[Dale]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And then somewhere along the line with no inter. Same with the waterbed with no announcement or anything else, it just disappeared.

[Dale]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Dale]

I think we got. We have a thing on our couch. We just moved and we have a thing on our couch. That is a cover.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Dale]

That's a reusable cover. My wife got it. She's like, you could pull it off and wash it.

[John Holmberg]

Do ever do that?

[Dale]

We just got it.

[John Holmberg]

So give us some time to dirty it up a little. You got to filter down a little bit. Need a little work. I have.

[Dale]

That was a big. Italian. Italians did that a lot. Where they just left the plastic on there. Yeah. My family never did it, but Italian. Older Italians. So with like your grandparents would leave the plastic on the furniture.

[John Holmberg]

You protect point for me now. That's the last generation that did not have feminine height hygiene products.

[Dale]

Oh, wow. You're making a connection here.

[John Holmberg]

You're making the connection. So grandma from the 30s, 40s. Wow. Was not into maintenance. Right. Grandpa said, we're not wrecking another couch. Wow. They make it quite a case. You're gonna sit on this thing. Wow.

[Toledo]

You're not.

[John Holmberg]

I'm tired of it. Right. So we put plastic down. And then somewhere in the 80s, women are like, no, we're. This thing's clean. We're keeping this thing pristine. They invented sprays and all sorts of things.

[Dale]

That's what women on their period. What they an ultimatum.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not saying the period, but saying general.

[Dale]

It's like, we're not doing this anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Right. We're not wrecking couches anymore. We have to do something about this. And they put plastic on to protect it from. I believe Grandma. That was against maintenance.

[Dale]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's.

[Dale]

That's very interesting.

[John Holmberg]

Or grandma was a squirter. I haven't decided where to lean on this quite yet. But they just disappeared.

[Brady]

Most of it was really protecting the back cushion. More so than.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Don't know how big your grandma was, but I'm just saying, it's just a weird thing. Waterbeds, the other thing.

[Dale]

Right. Well, waterbeds are not a thing anymore. Anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Gone. Yeah, but nobody ever had, like a. That's it. These have to go away. They just did. And I grew up, every house had water. But you could come in and smell it. Like people.

[Dale]

I think you had to have a little bit of money to have a water bed. My cousin, their family had a little bit more, and I was like, did.

[John Holmberg]

You not have one?

[Dale]

No, no, we didn't have the money for that. But I asked my cousin, how'd you sleep? He was like 25 knots per hour. Yeah, it's. Everything is nautical. Because.

[John Holmberg]

Nautical nighttime.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's interesting. Gotta go to bed.

[Brady]

Tides in.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't go to bed. I had 1 7th grade until I was about 20. And then I'm like, well, this is not a thing anymore. And I don't know where all the bladders of the beds have gone.

[Dale]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where did it all go?

[Dale]

Yeah, waterbeds are not a thing anymore. But, I mean. Because back support. I mean, they were really. I don't know. You slept on. How were they to sleep on it?

[John Holmberg]

Didn't bother. It was great.

[Brady]

Was heated.

[John Holmberg]

I had one. Awesome. I was a slinky. Like, I could. It didn't matter how I slept. I sleep hanging off. So back then, it didn't matter. Like now, I don't think I could do it. But they were comfortable. They were fine. But everyone had them.

[Brady]

I had bumps.

[John Holmberg]

Water beds. Yeah.

[Dale]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Is that the guy that built it before? It was in the fraternity house I lived in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And this guy built it probably four years before I got there. He was an engineer.

[John Holmberg]

But, yeah, it's a beautiful thing.

[Brady]

And I was on the bottom.

[John Holmberg]

That's how Brady learned the term. You're a bottom.

[Dale]

I've never heard of that before. A bunked water bed. You need an engineer for that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, absolutely. I don't trust that I'm not hanging out in that room too often.

[Brady]

Two years.

[Dale]

Forget bridges and the roads and infrastructure. That's where our engineers should be focused on. Bunk waterbeds.

[Brady]

Walt Spear.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Make the bed on top of you a thousand pounds. That's a smart idea.

[Dale]

Well, hopefully the. My pillow guy will bring everything back. Maybe he can make it.

[John Holmberg]

Mike. Mike Lindell.

[Dale]

He's our sleep guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Mike Vecchione. You are. Again, I ask this because it's habit, but if you could give us words of wisdom or if you had one thing to do if you were president, to change the world, the first thing you'd change about society.

[Dale]

I think our society is changing already, and I think that we should all be investigating each other all the time. And then also sending migrants to each other. Oh, we send them investigating each other and then sending migrants. Did you get the migrants I sent you? Christmas? Okay. I'm gonna be investigating you. It's like, that's our society, sending migrants to each other and investigating.

[John Holmberg]

We make them fruitcake. We make migrants like fruitcake. You just get one, it shows up, and then you can use it until you don't need it anymore and you send it to someone else. Yes.

[Dale]

Did you notice that about golf? Like, my friends love golf, and I was never into it. I understand the concept, that basic concept of getting the ball in the hole, but I don't understand bogey and birdie and back nine, all that stuff.

[John Holmberg]

But it's like, where the terms are the terms.

[Dale]

But I do notice that there's a guy just walking around carrying other people's stuff. It's like, well, are we not noticing the slavery that's happening here, this sport? We're overlooking the rules, but we have slavery happening in real time.

[Brady]

Perception. And just get rid of that term and just call them caddies.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Slaves.

[Dale]

Yeah. Labeling is half the battle.

[John Holmberg]

So when you say in the early days, the African American caddies of the field. Yeah. It sounds a lot.

[Dale]

It sounds better.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That makes me feel less guilty. I'm over it. I'm over it, people. I'm done with that. No, that's a great idea. You guys have both helped me today a lot. Well, mostly you.

[Dale]

We're a think tank.

[John Holmberg]

We're a team.

[Dale]

It's a team of ideas.

[John Holmberg]

It is. And you know what? We walk out of here feeling better about ourselves. Whether they're implemented or not. It's the world's problem.

[Dale]

That's the world's problem.

[John Holmberg]

We're.

[Dale]

We're a think tank.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Dale]

We came up with the ideas.

[John Holmberg]

And you can listen to all of your ideas. And I can't imagine how many more you've done. Scott. Tonight, tomorrow, molested. Tonight, Saturday, molestations for the front two rows where it's free. And you head on out there. 10pmprof.com Mike, it's a good pleasure.

[Dale]

Thank you so much for having me in, guys. It was a blast.

[John Holmberg]

Always Mike Vecchio. And everybody. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98K.

[Toledo]

Exploding second. What is that?

[John Holmberg]

Quiet down.

[Toledo]

And you please end it.

[John Holmberg]

Shut up. You be quiet. The amazing award winning Smashing Pumpkins picked up two ESPYs last night. Amazing.

[Brady]

Best sports song ever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right. It is time now for our our sports guru, Dale. Hello. Three time world champion with the Dallas Cowboys. And zero without anyone else after a 16 year career.

[Toledo]

17.

[John Holmberg]

17. Even better. That puts you at about a 17% success rate through your career. And that's higher than most. Nice job.

[Brady]

They added on the last year was a bonus because he made it 16.

[Toledo]

Add to my pension, Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's pretty good. Actually. You're probably around 22%. That's pretty good. That's actually very good.

[Toledo]

Oh, I bet you 17 years have put me in the top 5 to.

[John Holmberg]

6% with three championships in 17 years. I'm not talking about your time.

[Toledo]

I'm just saying longevity anybody can milk. Nobody can.

[John Holmberg]

Anybody?

[Toledo]

Nobody.

[John Holmberg]

Anybody decent can throw.

[Toledo]

Roethlisberger couldn't build well.

[John Holmberg]

He was an actual. Like he had a position.

[Toledo]

Oh really?

[John Holmberg]

He had an important position there.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, let's not get back to standing there throwing the ball. I mean the holder was as important as you. Cuz he had a second job.

[Toledo]

I didn't even need a holder. I was so good.

[John Holmberg]

John, you just snapped it and the guy kicked it through the upright. Yeah, he could. Basically it would set up. Oh, I would like to see that held for me. Oh my gosh. Soft hands. Perfect. I'd have been a good holder. Dale Series brought you by our friends at prestige billiards. AZ.com get on out there and get that game room going. Help Meathead make the summer great by going in there and saying I want this, I want that, I want this. I'm going to try to get Meathead involved in Fitz's charity for the Phoenix Children's Hospital. You should get involved in that.

[Toledo]

Well, you gotta tell me about it.

[John Holmberg]

You like I am right now.

[Toledo]

What's wrong you with you? Fitz?

[John Holmberg]

Fitz is our afternoon guy. Who?

[Toledo]

Is there anything else on here besides you?

[John Holmberg]

No. I mean technically all the time. Technically. No, I mean Fitz is. He shows up and like he dusts and keeps the thing operational until 5 tomorrow. Oh, he plays a lot. Yeah, he's good at it too. Fitz is doing nice. You take it back. He's doing nice things for the Phoenix Children's Hospital. Trying to build like an awesome game room for him. So when the kids are Done with treatment or they're going through their stuff, they have a place to go.

[Toledo]

That's awesome.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm trying to get. I haven't talked to Meathead about it. I'm doing it now. I'm putting a lot of people pressure on him now. Get Meathead from Prestige Billiards to help us out and, you know, put that game room together. So these kids have, like, you know, air hockey or. It would be awesome. Right?

[Brady]

One of our buddies has a professional.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Bryce emailed and said, I got a pro air hockey table and I'd love to give it to the hospital. And I said, is it pro? And he said, yeah. And I'm like, I'll take it. So it's at my house.

[Brady]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

I'll give him mine. Mine's the step down from the real good one, I think.

[Toledo]

I think the way you get Meathead involved, you say, I'll. You'll carry the slate wherever.

[John Holmberg]

I will help him carry some slate. No, no, you'll carry the slate for the children. The children's table is much smaller. Definitely handle the slate on that. But, yeah. Thanks in advance, Meathead. I don't know if you've known, but you are now involved. Prestige Billiards, helping us out. And they got grills and all sorts of stuff. Dale. So we'll just put that together. And by the way, Meathead, where's my grill? Anyway, we'll get into that a little bit. Whoa. Well, let's talk. Because he. We were. I made a deal with him to come out and put it in, and then he's been like, going. Doing other stuff, and I'm not really putting.

[Brady]

He's busy.

[John Holmberg]

He's very busy. But I'm like, where's my grill?

[Toledo]

You're not grilling in the summer anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I grill. I love the summer grill. Oh, I love it. That's the only time. Nothing better than the heat outside. Oh, yeah. And then you put this. There's no flies. There's no bugs. The steak goes in the air, and the heat makes it smell even better.

[Brady]

You don't grill in the summer.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's the only time I will.

[Toledo]

But I'd rather grill in the spring and fall.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no. That's when everybody's doing it. Be unique. Try it. Try something. Such a sheep. Such a sheep do it when the. Do it when the shepherds are grilling like me. Let's talk about this. You and I had dinner last night with Kevin Ray at a place called Brody. So thanks to Brody's for dropping the price a little bit. We didn't know why we met there. Like, we were going to just go have a couple drinks and hang out and talk to Kray for a bit. Chris Harris. Harris was there.

[Brady]

K. Ray. Morning cupped it. Nice.

[John Holmberg]

K. Ray. Big time. Morning cupped it because as we were saying, Trevor's and cold beers and cheeseburgers in the kind of the middle ground. He goes. And he always starts every sentence with.

[Toledo]

I did gauge over, like, 12 years. It's like.

[John Holmberg]

But he never does it on the air. Just when he's talking. Well, let me tell you, I get on this. If he for some reason, fires off, well, let's all meet at Brody's.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And Brody's is like a nice Italian restaurant with a nice bar. And it's kind of like a restaurant. And the us four, we're zips. Yeah, we are. We're dudes who should be in zips. And even then, we're. We're pushing the boundaries. I shouldn't.

[Brady]

It's like, what is. Just walked in the door.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. They were looking at us like, wow, these aren't our normal gays. And. And so we walked in there, and we had our. And. And Dale. Every time Dale opened his mouth, it was offensive and vulgar. Dale. And it was only when this poor man who kept refilling our waters was at the table. And Dale didn't know he was there. And I mean. Well, you should have just. In her mouth like, what in the world? And this poor guy. The poor guy's pouring water.

[Brady]

I don't believe.

[Toledo]

What did he say right before we came on there? I don't ever out anybody.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not telling your real story. These are the fun ones. I'll keep your private stuff private. This wasn't private. This was you telling some poor immigrant every dirty thing you've ever thought of in your mind. You were talking to Kevin when you said it. And I looked at Harrison, I'm like, that's the third time that poor man has had to hear. I know. He kept coming over, kept refilling those waters.

[Toledo]

Okay, so I. I did bring this up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And we'll keep it kind of anonymous. Yeah, it's some guy. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's a friend of a friend. We know that.

[Toledo]

Yeah, we. We don't. We don't really know this guy.

[John Holmberg]

But this was an interesting story Dale heard on the golf course.

[Toledo]

But maybe you have had this happen to you. I mean.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

All right. You're.

[Toledo]

You're sexy human being.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Kind of A what would Brady do?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, what are you guys in a fun house mirror or something sexier.

[Brady]

Dale's right.

[Toledo]

He's awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Toledo]

He lost some weight.

[John Holmberg]

He looks okay. I agree.

[Toledo]

Give him credit.

[John Holmberg]

I do. He lost some weight. Doesn't make him sexy. It just makes him a bit little lighter.

[Toledo]

So. So this person that I heard about through a friend of a friend took his grandkids to a play. Play area. Indoor play place.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And the grandkids, let's say they're five and three and. And. And they're having a good time and all that. And all sudden there's a very pretty woman who comes up to sit said friend.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the reason why, though, is because the dude's grandkid started to fight another grandkid. And so he went over to reprimand the grandkid. Right.

[Brady]

To knock it off.

[John Holmberg]

We don't do that. Yeah. And he was. He was showing, I guess, a male trait, a manly male trait that some people still. Some people. Some people consider archaic and some people consider, like, the way it should be.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So he's kind of the way we.

[Toledo]

Were raised, the way the kids now.

[John Holmberg]

Which are just let. Let them run wild. And.

[Toledo]

And this said woman came over and was very impressed with the way it was handled.

[John Holmberg]

Right. The beating. The beating. The beating this man gave that child was a big thumbs up. And.

[Toledo]

And so she came over and all of a sudden a.

[John Holmberg]

A.

[Toledo]

A flirtation started and you're in the. And they were in the middle of a bunch of kids, and they. Girl's putting her hand on him and she's. According to him, wow, very pretty, very handsome. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Very handy.

[Toledo]

Has that ever happened to you? Number one.

[John Holmberg]

Number two, yes, it has.

[Toledo]

And the other thing is, supposedly this guy's a grandpa.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

But not at a play area.

[Toledo]

A grandpa. And she's. And this girl asked him, your kids are very well behaved.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Toledo]

How old are they now that the guy. The guy that I know said, now I have a quandary. Do I tell her that they're my grandkids?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Or that they're my kids?

[John Holmberg]

Do you let her live the fantasy?

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Do you actually use your own grandkids, is the big question, to try and get laid? That's what Dale's buddy was asked.

[Brady]

Single.

[Toledo]

What's that?

[Brady]

Is grandpa single?

[Toledo]

Grandpa could be.

[John Holmberg]

For a day. Anybody single for a day? This guy tells Dale, you should talk.

[Toledo]

About that on the show tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Like, all right. So Dale asked me last night, like, if you want to bring it up, that's up to you.

[Toledo]

And there's rooms in the back.

[John Holmberg]

You know, part of the play area.

[Toledo]

You are.

[John Holmberg]

This is right when the guy would pour our waters. You could at the play area.

[Toledo]

There's a first time for everything.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, that's disgusting. So do you use your own grandkids as.

[Brady]

As leverage, like a dog at a park?

[John Holmberg]

Well, dog at a park is. Grandkids are even different than kid kids.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[Brady]

It's interesting.

[Toledo]

First, do you tell the truth?

[Brady]

First of all, attracted to him to begin with?

[Toledo]

Yes.

[Brady]

I don't know. I don't think the. The granddad factor would change the fact that these are my grandkids versus kids.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't. Would it to you if you walked up to a woman you found very attractive and said, oh, you're doing a wonderful job with your children. And then she goes, those are my grandkids. You're like, like immediately would change.

[Toledo]

I, I thought you were younger.

[Dale]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Okay. Was she a lot younger than him to begin with?

[Toledo]

I, I, I think she was in her early 40s, is what I was.

[Brady]

I think you're okay.

[John Holmberg]

You think it's okay to lie and use your grandkids as sex bait?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We'll be right back.

[Brady]

No, no, no. First of all, I'm saying no to begin with on the.

[John Holmberg]

That's offensive. And since the owners are in town, I want to remind everyone of who you're listening to. 93. 3. That's right.

[Toledo]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

Just a reminder of who you're listening to for your complaint letters of.

[Toledo]

Yes, I did notice a different atmosphere when I walked in.

[John Holmberg]

Did you?

[Toledo]

I mean, Tripp was, like, walking. There's a lot of time attention, and, and everybody's nodding, and everybody looks.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody looks clean.

[Toledo]

Yes. I, like, took a shower this morning.

[John Holmberg]

A couple of them people saluting. Yeah. There was a lot of. There's a lot of. It's very phony. It's awful. And nobody actually, nobody behaves.

[Toledo]

How many. How many days are they in here?

[John Holmberg]

Too many.

[Toledo]

Really. One's too many.

[John Holmberg]

Too many. And again, if they're listening, remember you're listening to 93. 3. The owners right now. Let's play guess that sound. I'm just kidding. All right.

[Toledo]

Okay. So we went to dinner last night anyway. So you would say.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Toledo]

I would say, grandpa, come clean.

[Brady]

I don't think he needs to lie.

[John Holmberg]

By the way. Worst phrase Dale's ever said is, should grandpa come clean? And then talking about this situation, the kitties were, yuck.

[Brady]

I think he overreacted.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it's an Age thing. I think it's more of like, oh, she thinks I'm like 40.

[Brady]

You are hung up on it. More so than she would.

[John Holmberg]

And he's.

[Brady]

That's Michael.

[John Holmberg]

Does this guy look good?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. He's a handsome guy.

[Toledo]

I don't hang around ugly guys.

[John Holmberg]

Well, thanks, Dale. That's awesome. I appreciate hearing that. That's true. You don't. We were at dinner. Yes. Everybody at the table last night was like, dale, this is ridiculous. Like, there's no. And. And so now we all want to go back to this play area. All of us want to go see grandpa try to make. Make some moves on some lady. And all Dale has to point him out. There's my guy. And then he's just trying to roll.

[Toledo]

And I think her name was Nikita.

[John Holmberg]

Or something like that. He's trying to roll at the clay area. How old were her kids?

[Toledo]

She. She had like a three year old.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for fresh. Yeah.

[Toledo]

And I mean, the conversation supposedly opened up quite. Quite like how she became pregnant.

[Brady]

Well, I'm gonna say even now.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

According to him, he didn't know how she became pregnant.

[Toledo]

No. But the process.

[Brady]

What's involved.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

We all know how it happened. Right?

[Toledo]

There's different ways of doing that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. There's different positions. She got into that.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Holy smokes.

[Toledo]

According to. Wait.

[John Holmberg]

And he had a question of whether I should. He should have married her on the spot. This girl is. She's a conversationalist. Dale, this is a. This is an orator. She's.

[Brady]

Frankly, Maya, Angela got right into it.

[Toledo]

He said it was the first time it's really ever happened to him in.

[John Holmberg]

A situation like this.

[Toledo]

So my advice to him, Johnny, is what?

[John Holmberg]

Bone in the playhouse.

[Toledo]

Hey, kids. Play around for about 20 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

They're busy. Yeah. Grandpa met a new friend.

[Toledo]

The bathrooms are big.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Pop. Pop's gonna take a Viagra. I'll be back in 12 minutes. Wow. Well. Yeah. So. Well, tell us how that follow up with this at the very least. And hopefully your friend is listening and he's like, ah, you guys gave solid advice. I am the normal one that says, I don't think it's kosher to use your grandkids to pick up.

[Toledo]

Really? I thought you would use any.

[John Holmberg]

I think you can pretend to have. Have kids and pick up women because that's okay because you're already a jerk. But if you're using your real like down the line, even an adopted one is okay. But a real bloodline. Yeah, bloodline. Grandkid to get laid. I have to. I have to stop the vote right now. It's.

[Brady]

It's gonna happen. Because if it worked that one time, he's gonna have the grandkids out.

[John Holmberg]

More like it worked at one time. I'm gonna rent these kids.

[Toledo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but maybe you should try. John.

[John Holmberg]

It's not even worth it. Getting laid isn't worth having kids around you for a couple hours. I. I could have Sofia Vergara. Like if you had. If only you had a kid nearby. I'm like, it's. That's too much.

[Toledo]

Dua Lipa is at the play. At the play area.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it. It's so hard to bring her into the next if she's at the play area. She's got a kid. So she's.

[Toledo]

And you can't walk in and she.

[Brady]

Goes, do you have a kid?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

You can't walk here by yourself.

[John Holmberg]

Why not? You can't.

[Toledo]

You're a creep.

[John Holmberg]

I need to stop doing that.

[Brady]

I'm just hanging the player.

[John Holmberg]

Swing the door.

[Toledo]

Hey, who's that guy over there?

[John Holmberg]

Just love watching. So if Dua Lipa was there, that means she has kids and that means she's got an std, so I'm not interested.

[Brady]

You bring up a good point on the three year old. That's pretty fresh.

[John Holmberg]

What are you.

[Brady]

She's looking for stability.

[Toledo]

Hold on. A kid means an std.

[John Holmberg]

A kid is an std. It's a sexually transmitted disease. They never go away. It's for life.

[Brady]

It's permanent.

[John Holmberg]

It's incurable. Oh, AIDS is easy.

[Toledo]

Easier.

[John Holmberg]

You can. You don't have to live with AIDS very long.

[Toledo]

Oh, my goodness.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta live with the kids until forever. But Dua Lipa has a child. I'm out.

[Toledo]

Oh, that. So that knocks her off.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, out.

[Toledo]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's done. Yeah, She's. They're caring for an infant, which is.

[Brady]

Gonna happen here soon with her new.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. She's getting. She's engaged. Hopefully that guy screws it up. Keeps a hope alive. Keep hope alive. You never know. And it lasts. I want to. If I'm picking up chicks at Kindred play areas, there's a lot wrong with me anyway. Dua Lipa or otherwise.

[Toledo]

There's enough wrong with you already.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Why add to it? Why add to it by saying, you know, where I met her, I. I had pretended I had grandkids and it's horrible.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Your dick shouldn't work anymore. You're all dick.

[Toledo]

So he also listened to the show and he said so. So now you know, because we've talked about the 60s, 160 year old women, 50 year old women, whatever. How many would look at you? Yeah, well, I mean, now we're down on the fourth floor with my buddy here, you know that, you know, he's.

[John Holmberg]

An attractive man with grandkids. Yes. And he's been, you know, maybe he should tell his. Now if he starts getting a little too, like I need those grandkids again, like he starts abducting them and running over the thing, then he's got a problem.

[Toledo]

Hey, can I take care of the kids?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I need to take care of those kids again. It's two in the morning. I need to take care of the guy. Goddamn kids. Get him.

[Toledo]

You just did it yesterday. Grandpa.

[John Holmberg]

I can't get enough. Why is grandpa wrecked and dying to have the kids in the car? Anyway, all right, so.

[Toledo]

So last night we go to dinner.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And. And you didn't speak real highly of the place you went to. So we won't mention it.

[John Holmberg]

No, it was good. I already mentioned it was fine. It just. It was too much butter. It's too rich food. And it made me.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Volatile.

[Toledo]

Yes, it did.

[Dale]

So.

[Toledo]

So to pay the. The pictures, Chris Harris and, And John are sitting there. Kevin Ray and I are sitting there and we're in the middle of a conversation and all of a sudden John goes, I gotta go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I had to leave.

[Toledo]

What do you got going on?

[John Holmberg]

It was time to go.

[Toledo]

Time to go. As we're. So we walk out behind him. We're a tad bit behind him. What are we looking at?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Brady, stop it. You're distracting. Brady can't have windows.

[Toledo]

You don't understand.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Brady can't have windows. He starts moving around. If there's, if there's. Anything to read or see, he's going to distract.

[Toledo]

Oh, that's a big wig down there, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

Just pay attention to us, Brady.

[Brady]

We're on a discussion right now.

[John Holmberg]

Both of you have attention deficit. You stay with your story and you pay attention to this room. Go ahead. Yeah.

[Toledo]

And. And we walk out, we get to the front door and we're going to yell goodbye to Johnny. Johnny's flying down already in the car about six.

[John Holmberg]

The buttercake. It was a buttery, rich meal.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And we sat after I ate it for about an hour and a half.

[Toledo]

Was it that long?

[John Holmberg]

Listening to. To Dale talk about his perverted grandparent friends and Kevin talking about work and jobs and we all had our, you know, our say about that. And then my stomach started to like, oh, this is brewing. We got something bad. It's that butter. And I remember looking at the meal going, there's too much butter in this. It's swimming in butter.

[Brady]

And I knew that he's trying to. I want to go to this place.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was good. But it's for a guy that doesn't, like, drown butter.

[Brady]

Second hitch.

[John Holmberg]

There's a rich factor, and I'm like, I'm gonna have a rough night.

[Toledo]

Right up Brady's alley. You like butter when you get a.

[John Holmberg]

Meal of basically rice and vegetables, and at the end, you can drink it like you had cereal milk because there's so much butter in there. Yeah, you like it. For me. For me, it's an escape. It's ex lax.

[Brady]

It's like tea.

[John Holmberg]

So I got in the car. I'm like, I know what's gonna happen in about 20 minutes. I have to get this out, and it's not gonna be good. And I want to shower afterwards. I want to be clean. And so you guys were going and you were telling another terribly boring. Like, that's it. I gotta go. And I just jumped up.

[Brady]

It only takes so much.

[John Holmberg]

I, I. Larry David said, let's go. I've got to get out of here. I got something to do, so.

[Toledo]

So you made it home.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And no accidents?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, I don't have accidents. I've got a sphincter.

[Toledo]

You've never had an accident.

[John Holmberg]

I could take coal and make a diamond with it.

[Toledo]

You are.

[John Holmberg]

I have had accidents, but more so just because I'm like, let's see what's going on here. And I didn't expect it, but it's never been. Oh, I can't. I can't hold it. I can hold it forever.

[Toledo]

Let's see what's going.

[John Holmberg]

It's the fart that you thought, and then it turns into, like, the whole. Next thing you know, you're, uhoh.

[Brady]

It produced.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've had mo. Everybody's had those moments, but I've never had a.

[Toledo]

You act like you're normal. You're not normal.

[John Holmberg]

Completely normal.

[Toledo]

You shower after every bowel movement. Yeah, it's weird.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's weird to not do it.

[Toledo]

Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Don't ask him. Captain Russ butt over here loves that. He loves.

[Toledo]

Two showers this morning.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I had to double down. I took one, and then I.

[Toledo]

Hey, you got in the car and started.

[John Holmberg]

I thought I was going to throw up. I was going to make myself throw up because my stomach was just rich Food makes me feel bad. I did. So I was like, ah, this isn't good. And then I was like, I think I'm gonna throw up. And then I just spun around and I'm like, no, I can. I can make this go away in a different direction. And I did it. And then I got in the shower and I cleaned up, and then I got in the car and I started to leave, and I'm like, no, we're not done yet. And I turned back around.

[Brady]

Peekaboo.

[John Holmberg]

And I went back in. That was a little later than normal this morning. And I went back in and I clean. I did it again and hopped back in the shower and I spread them.

[Brady]

Open right in the office this morning.

[John Holmberg]

No, no rust. But I tell you right now, if you guys wanted to eat some more of that risotto. But he. It's spotless.

[Brady]

He said, I'm the reason I'm late.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Double down. Yeah.

[Toledo]

So does Megan know that you, like, there's no.

[John Holmberg]

There's no reason to bring other people into it. It's my life and it'.

[Toledo]

Anus.

[John Holmberg]

Like, why is that a thing? I treat my anus like. Ladies bark about abortion. My body, my. Right. Yeah. My choice. I do what I want. It's. No, no, she doesn't need to know. No one needs to know. But you're the one who constantly brings it up.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but she wonders why you come back in.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. I go to. I go in through the garage. I'm not.

[Brady]

There's options.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not. Yeah, there's nothing about that that seems.

[Toledo]

There's not a shower in that one in the garage.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, no. Well, in the Steelers one there isn't, but there's a spare bedroom back there. Oh, that's got a whole bathroom. No, you do not need to find that. It's a low flush toilet. I do worry because this morning I went in there and it's one of those low flows. It's not designed for a, you know, heavyweight fight. Like, it's Manny Pacquiao in there. Pacquiao and Tyson Fury. This is an unfair battle. But then the shower right away, afterwards.

[Toledo]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll have to find that next time.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you can go in there, but it's. It's awful. It's broken. I'll take the toilet out.

[Brady]

You have to replace it.

[John Holmberg]

Look, first off, there was a guy who took a dump at my house, and I demanded if everyone to come back. He brings me a new toilet. What? Because that one was ruined and he Did. His name is Ted Huffman, and he. And he didn't know the rules that you can't dump at my house. If I find out you dumped at my house, you're banned until you bring me a new toilet. Ask Paul Sura. He pooped at my house. And I said, you're out.

[Toledo]

In the Steeler bathroom.

[John Holmberg]

In any bathroom at all in my home, if you take a dime dump, you're out.

[Toledo]

There's a Taco Bell that's not very hospitable.

[John Holmberg]

What's not hospitable? What's not hospitable is the guest. While you have people over sharing a.

[Toledo]

Bathroom, It's a normal body function.

[John Holmberg]

No, there's a Taco Bell a quarter mile away. Good. Go.

[Toledo]

You gotta buy something.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't. Okay, find a place. You don't go in, wander in, sit down for a second, then run to the bathroom. Fool them. They're Taco Bell employees.

[Brady]

Chalupa while you're doing.

[John Holmberg]

If I. Oh, that's disgusting. That's too far. You've gone too far.

[Toledo]

It brought back a quick story. My brother, when he used to go to the bathroom when he was younger, he literally bring a Kool Aid drink or something to eat. I'm like, what the hell are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

That's disgusting. I stopped. Our old receptionist at the old building, she went into the ladies room with two strawberry Pop Tarts. And I'm like, that's it. No, Jillian stopped walking. She goes, I'm going, it's my lunch hour. I'm like, we eat lunch.

[Toledo]

She's killing two birds at one stomach.

[John Holmberg]

No, she's killing me is what she's doing.

[Brady]

She's got time.

[John Holmberg]

She's killing me, and she's killing my dream to live a couple more years. I don't want to know that she's in there just going, strawberries good.

[Toledo]

She needs a bigger break.

[John Holmberg]

She needs a bigger brain is what she needs. By the way, out of all this today, the one thing people are getting is that Sex Bait Grandkids might be the best band name of all time. Sex Bait Grandkids. It's great. All right, let's talk about something sports related for. But first off, congratulations to the fans, Phoenix Suns, for the existence of the Los Angeles Clippers. Because without the Los Angeles Clippers, the Suns are the dumbest team and management, the Clippers. When there's a bad deal to be made, we'll make it. And they took the Suns, and they said, you're off the hook with Bradley Beal. Congratulations. We'll pay for a third of that. You kick it, it's a buyout. And the Suns are like, good. We don't have the full price. We're done with this. He's gone. Nobody can yell at us anymore. We eat this for a year or so and the extra and it's unbelievable. But this team is now just Devin Booker. The.

[Toledo]

The. The Clippers are the Browns of the NBA. If there's a bad deal to be made, they're. They're going to do it.

[John Holmberg]

Holber's morning sickness. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[Toledo]

98K u p d Holmberg's morning sickness. But here's the thing. We were talking about almost my other show with Steve. The main event.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, the main event on Robat TV. Robat TV.

[Toledo]

Yes. After we scoured the ESPYs last night.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

Gotta go see that War by award. But here's the thing, Johnny. What happens if next year he's in a position to where he's going to play 60 games and he's going to start at the two guard and he averages 25 points a game?

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what you got him for here, right? And he just got. Couldn't stay healthy. Like what Kevin Ray said last night, there is absolutely nothing about his past that tells me you're getting 60, 70 games out of him.

[Toledo]

Exactly. But. But why? Why?

[John Holmberg]

It's worth the risk statistically.

[Toledo]

Everybody talks about. Okay, now that Durant and Beal are gone, did the Suns really screw up? Durant trade. I said it's a once in a lifetime thing. Take a shot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I loved the trade.

[Toledo]

It didn't work out. Nobody take a shot. But the Beal thing, again, it's a. I think I said it's like they read all the addendums.

[John Holmberg]

But H. Yeah.

[Toledo]

And H is no trade. It's like, oh, we didn't know that was in there.

[John Holmberg]

And they didn't pay attention to. On paper. Statistically, this looks great. Except for games played. Hovers around 35.

[Toledo]

And by the way, we got a guy on our team that kind of does what this guy does.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you have two of them.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And one's better than the other. And by the way, you have no point guard. And when you did get a point guard, you're hardly used them. And we're right back where we were.

[Toledo]

And here you are getting good news.

[John Holmberg]

Is there's the Clippers. Yes, they will do this. They will do this to. To be just as dumb as the dumbest team. And the Suns currently, in my opinion, are the second dumbest team as far as trying to scramble out of something.

[Toledo]

Tell me this, how are you going to be feeling next April? May, as the season comes to an end, The Suns are trying to get to 30 wins.

[Brady]

You got to cut your check for the tickets.

[Toledo]

And the clippers are the 4.4seed, and so they're playing the Western Conference finals.

[John Holmberg]

Man, it feels. It feels. It feel kicks ass. You just have to assume that's only going to happen there. If he was here, he'd have gotten hurt. Like, you just, like you have to give. You have to understand that all the pressure to get rid of him was there. And now that they got rid of him, everybody's like, but what if he's great now? It's like, you can't win this fight.

[Toledo]

I think I said it on here before. It's like, can the Valley have. Have anything nice? We can't have anything. You just know ASU football is going to fall flat on his face.

[John Holmberg]

You think?

[Toledo]

Don't you have that feeling in the pit of your stomach? I don't.

[John Holmberg]

I think they ran Scatter Boo so hard that they didn't realize all he offered, like, how many first downs he got because it was him.

[Toledo]

I saw a highlight. Packer.

[John Holmberg]

He's incredible.

[Toledo]

You know, I mean, it was amazing. I could just see. And I. And I love asu. I love the coaches down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

But in the pit of my stomach, when's the last time he. You had two really good back.

[John Holmberg]

And they're leaving it on Levitt, the quarterback.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That starts in, what, three weeks?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So you're leaving it on. On. On Levitt to be this Heisman hopeful.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he's good. But was he good? Because you had the battering ram. Did. You had that escape route every play. And they took advantage of it.

[Toledo]

We. We watched that Texas game together last year. Yeah. My friend John Levitt came over with Lovett.

[John Holmberg]

Lovett's not Levitz. Sam Levitt.

[Toledo]

Levitz. Love it.

[Brady]

You love it?

[John Holmberg]

I love it. It. Love it.

[Toledo]

How do they get back in that game? Sam Levitt didn't all of a sudden throw four touchdown passes.

[John Holmberg]

No, they.

[Toledo]

Yeah, they started.

[John Holmberg]

Cam. Cam started wearing them. Yes. And in the first half, he couldn't do anything. And then he did.

[Toledo]

Yeah. And.

[John Holmberg]

And how many games last year did Scatter Boo get that extra yard that kept drives alive, that actually won close games? And they don't have that guy now. I don't think they fall Apart because I think Dillingham actually, actually is the real deal. Yeah, I think what they've done there.

[Toledo]

But John, I've been here since I was born in 62. History tells you after they left the WAC and went to the Pack.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

That they have one good year.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. 87. 97. And then it took until 2024. Yeah, that's true. All right, well, thanks for that uplifting news. That's great. Dale. Dale, the sports genius. Now, when you played football, there was.

[Toledo]

Well, what about your. What about your boy at the golf tournament this past weekend?

[John Holmberg]

I didn't see any of it.

[Toledo]

You see Aaron Rodgers?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Toledo]

Completely act like an imbecile.

[Brady]

I read one of the things I watched.

[Toledo]

I saw that.

[John Holmberg]

What did he do?

[Toledo]

Obviously, at that Pro Am up in, In Tahoe. Tahoe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

There's tons of fans there. They got auto one autographs. Yeah, It's a screw around tournament.

[Brady]

He's throwing footballs. He's throwing passes.

[John Holmberg]

That sounds fun.

[Toledo]

No, but. Yeah, but a couple guys, couple kids asked for autographs. He said, don't bother me right now.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. That's too much.

[Brady]

He asked the kid, didn't he ask one of them, who's your favorite? I'm a big fan. Who's your favorite player? And the kid couldn't name one.

[John Holmberg]

He's like, you don't get it out. And also, he probably saw their mom like your friend and thought, she's not hot enough to deal with these kids.

[Toledo]

Get them out of my face, John.

[John Holmberg]

I know. If that's true or if it's an.

[Toledo]

AI Girl buried his idea.

[John Holmberg]

It may be an AI G. I don't know what's going on there. Oh, we don't talk about that yet. Hopefully football's coming. No, we're in for a. We're in for a big long. Yeah, real long year. All the way to February, I think. When you played football, did you. What time? Getting close. All right, well, then come in. When? What's this distraction? Toledo coming in, a smile on his face, pointing to his watch. I know. That's all I needed to be distracted. Jesus Christ. Has anybody seen an entertainment show? It's like a cuckoo clock. It is. Toledo comes in. We closed the door for the first time. So when you played football, There was no ESPYs, but if the Dallas Cowboys at the end of the 94 season. And that was the one you lost. 93 season. Right. You guys win an award for best.

[Brady]

Team, you think you would have gotten it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, probably because it Was a hell of a team because you would have. Well, you'd have gone up against the Bulls in 93. It was the strike season in baseball or not 94. Either way. Either way it was the Blue Jays. They probably. It wouldn't. They wouldn't have won anything.

[Toledo]

SB it had been Bulls, Cowboy.

[John Holmberg]

And hockey was. I think. I don't know. The 93 was probably the Michael Scotty Penguins.

[Toledo]

I think Michael Scotty.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It would have been Bulls, Cowboys. So you guys. Yeah, you guys are the same. I often that breath falls right out of me. Hella straight Pip and Jordan. But it wouldn't have mattered to you.

[Toledo]

Not one bit.

[John Holmberg]

Not at all. Because you don't care if you're better than the dad Dodgers. No. Or anything. You get best. You're the champions of what you went for. And nobody would ever say, I hope we get an SP for that. Oh, you're gonna win an sp.

[Toledo]

I have mixed emotions about it because again, this is. If you're in sports talk.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

This is the worst week. Other than. There's some stuff going on now.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Toledo]

But usually it's the deadest. I mean the be locally and whatever. But usually that's not happening. And it's a. A dead ass week.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And ESPN kind of capitalized on that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

And they get all their frumpy frumps together.

[John Holmberg]

They shoehorn this weird thing into our lives and they act like it's important and for some reason over time we just allowed it to become important. And so the aspects people. But no one's ever.

[Brady]

I found out about it this morning.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I had no idea what happened.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

You didn't want to see a. Simone Biles won.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No. She got a gold medal. I saw the thing she wanted.

[Brady]

What's going on?

[John Holmberg]

But like three sports guys last night and Dale sat at a table and none of us cared that the ESPYs were on Kevin Ray.

[Toledo]

I thought that's why you run it off. You wanted to see the esp.

[John Holmberg]

I had to leave to see who won best team. Chris Harris is a sportscaster. I am a sportscaster of high regard. Kevin Ray.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Well known NFL, NBA. Yeah. He does it all. And then Dale was there a guy who gives advice to Chris Grandpa's. But no one was. We didn't. We didn't mention it once as I. As I drove home. Fully clinched. I thought we didn't mention that the ESPYs were a thing at all.

[Toledo]

We did not.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's not.

[Toledo]

It really is. But it won't stop Other than the fact that. Seriously, that it's the only night of the year that they're not a sport on.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Toledo]

You know, and they've kind of hoodwinked themselves.

[John Holmberg]

But wouldn't this be a better opportunity to have the. The greatest WNBA day ever and start at noon and have their games just showcased on ESPN all day? Nobody'd watch.

[Toledo]

No. But guess what they did yesterday. The Mercury played like, at. At noon. There's a ten o' clock game.

[John Holmberg]

That's just. It's just dumb. They're just so poorly marketed.

[Toledo]

Noon on a. I know you and Sophie Cunningham go way back.

[John Holmberg]

We do. We're good friends.

[Toledo]

She is. She's taking a world by snow. It might last for a month. It might last for a week.

[John Holmberg]

She's beautiful, but people are going to watch that blonde hair flip around no matter what it's doing.

[Toledo]

But when she was here, she didn't have that national appeal. Is it all because she.

[John Holmberg]

Because she got no fight for Caitlin? Well, because there's no national appeal to the WNBA until Caitlin Clark's in your town.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

So once she was standing next to the one person that people pay attention to.

[Brady]

Tarasi didn't lift her up, and then.

[John Holmberg]

She got into a scissor fight on the court. We were all like, this has a chance to be more than just Subarus. This could actually turn into a big sex.

[Toledo]

You could beat her in a fight. I mean, she knows Sophie. She's a black belt.

[John Holmberg]

She's a black belt. When she was six years old, that's when she got her black.

[Toledo]

So she hasn't gotten better at it.

[John Holmberg]

She stopped at 6. And look, she knew what to do as far as getting somebody, but it was a little sloppy. It was a girl fight. It was a girl fight.

[Toledo]

Well, she's backpedaling, John.

[John Holmberg]

It was a girl fight and the other girl had no skills at all.

[Toledo]

So you're saying you'd have a chance against Sophie if you and her got in scuffle?

[John Holmberg]

You mean sexually? I don't know. What do you mean by chance? Well, if I'm in a fight with her, she had a couple of grandkids. Yeah, go. If I had two grandkids, you might be like, hey, this guy looks good for his grandkids. Anyway, Dale Hell is here. He's done nothing for sports today. Nothing at all. To let us know what's going on.

[Brady]

He's like the s beast.

[John Holmberg]

He is. He's the ass beast. But we got. Do you like that comedian Shingulus is very funny. And he had a couple of good jokes.

[Brady]

He was.

[John Holmberg]

But that's the whole thing. The host is the. Peyton Manning did a good job. They just turn it off and they start handing out awards for, you know, best shoe. Or.

[Toledo]

Are you sad that Lee or you don't like college football?

[John Holmberg]

I hate it. How do you hate. I don't want to watch your kids doing things.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but you don't have to hate it.

[John Holmberg]

You can say now that they're getting paid. Now that they're getting paid, I do like it a little bit better. Because it's. It. Because it was all such a. Because it was all a lie. It was all a fixed rigged mess. And now it's even more fixed and rigged.

[Brady]

But now that they're getting paid publicly.

[John Holmberg]

Right, Exactly. Now that they're not hiding behind this whole amateur sport nonsense.

[Toledo]

And you know, if this was back in 1981, then SMU never got the death penalty.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. And that's a little bit of our time. You guys were. You guys were. You had figured out how to pay players. The. You had the. What do they call it? The LIN or whatever. The. Whatever that thing. Rli. I don't know what it is. Mci tmz. But they have the. Yeah, the nil.

[Toledo]

Nil.

[John Holmberg]

They give the nil out. You guys were doing that way before it was even invented. Yes. It's impressive.

[Toledo]

And it's in. It's. And it was actually. You got paid on production and again.

[John Holmberg]

We'Ve talked about this. Your school got the death penalty for paying players some money. Ohio State won a national championship. They've raped over 3,000 people and.

[Toledo]

And paid people illegally.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's. That's nothing.

[Brady]

That's how you win champions.

[John Holmberg]

That's how you get it.

[Toledo]

Have you come to grips? Yep. With this whole.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, has he? Yeah. Yeah. He's rose colored glass. He's got the scarlet and gray right back on.

[Brady]

We're just a little over a month away from kickoff.

[Toledo]

You're becoming a Ohio fan this year.

[John Holmberg]

You should.

[Brady]

The Bobcats.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I've never left the Bobcats. All the way the Bobcats.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, you have. You don't even know who plays for the Bobcats.

[Brady]

They open up.

[John Holmberg]

Who was the quarterback last year?

[Brady]

It was Frank Solich. And then replace him with 2002.

[John Holmberg]

Frank Solich died like eight years ago.

[Brady]

Dennis Erickson, he's been.

[John Holmberg]

He came up with two coaches names that could very potential actually be there. They're not Dale Hell streets here. Courtesy of our friends at prestige billiards. Az.commention meathead, get 10 off and do something nice. And then put the heat on meathead to help out with the Phoenix children's hospital with Fitz's deal. We'll do an entertainment drill with Brady and Dale next. It's out of control now.

[Toledo]

Holberg's morning. S. Morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

It's gnr. Dale, actually. You didn't mind? Jesus Christ. Wow.

[Toledo]

Makes you want to beat somebody up. Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

That took me by surprise. Jesus, man, he got amped up.

[Toledo]

You listen to this all day long. Look, I. I be. I'd be. Beat people up.

[John Holmberg]

You're so suggestible as a former football player. They would play a song. Oh, the whole building is. Yeah. Because Frankenstein's mad. Yeah. And remember who you're listening to when the screams like that happen. Of course, you're always locked in on ALT AC9833. Always remember that. That's where you are. Owners. Yeah. Dale just scared us all. I don't even know where to go with this. I'm horrified. I just want to run. And now I do. Now I am. Yeah. I got to defend myself. Reactdefense.com if a Frankenstein in your office loses his cork over a song, Jesus, my heart. Learn where the exits are. Have a drop ladder like Batman. Get the hell out of there. Frankenstein's lost it. Where are the torches and pitchforks? That's what they teach [e-mail] they got it ready to go. And if you're a person who's not in shape and you're working worried about that? Don't worry about it. They take care of beginners better than anywhere else. It's not like a gym that makes you go in there.

[Toledo]

Oh, you got to be, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Immediately awesome at this. You'll be good at it day one, because that's how this program works. It's for people who hop in there, learn the basics on day one, and then just meld in. It's a moving train. You jump on board and you're part of the program and everyone's there to help you. Beginners especially do great. So if you're not in great shape, this is a great way to get in shape and not feel like you're behind the eight ball. You hop in, and it's awesome right away. And plus, you start becoming that sheepdog you should be. And stop being a sheep. Nobody wants to be a victim. Don't present yourself as one. Reactdefense.com it's the home of Tactical Black.

[Brady]

Brady Entertainment, the second most expensive piece of movie memorabilia has just sold.

[Toledo]

Say that again.

[Brady]

Movie memorabilia.

[John Holmberg]

That's a big word. Give him a break.

[Brady]

It just sold. It's 14 point. 14. 0.75 million.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, you just didn't look at the paper. You just. You just said a number. I don't. I don't trust that you were accurate or that you just said a number. It was even looking at the report.

[Brady]

It was a sled from Citizen King.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, rosebud. Okay, aren't they selling Darth Vader's lightsaber now? That's up.

[Brady]

They are, but that. The most expensive is Rosebud. That's the second most.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, what's the most expensive? Yeah, yeah. That's what I would say. Correct.

[Brady]

From the wizard Oz.

[John Holmberg]

Rose buds are that expensive these days, huh?

[Brady]

What do you think the ruby slippers went for?

[John Holmberg]

That's the actual. Did we show Dale? I don't think so. Let's find that.

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Get that up for Dale.

[Toledo]

Go back.

[John Holmberg]

That's your punishment for that scream that you let. I actually had that happen to me when you yelled the ruby slippers went for 32.2. God. Wow.

[Toledo]

That's ridiculous.

[Brady]

Pete Davidson's girl's pregnant.

[John Holmberg]

I saw that. Good for Pete.

[Brady]

Elsie Hewitt is her name.

[John Holmberg]

He's had so many stable relationships that locking this one down with a child is a great idea. At least I never said.

[Toledo]

Here you go. That dude's ugly, isn't he?

[John Holmberg]

He's not normal looking, but he's actually got.

[Toledo]

He looks like he's got down. I don't want to see that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, look.

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you got to get back to the Eric Brady.

[Toledo]

I'll look if you look. Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Toledo]

I don't need to wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. This is the good part. Dale.

[Brady]

Dale, look. You gotta see this. If I had to see it.

[Toledo]

Turning even thinking about Lucky. You guys are sick and wrong.

[Brady]

There's Pete Davidson's girlfriend, Elsie.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, look at that thing.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but he's ugly.

[John Holmberg]

He looks like movie from the Simpsons. And well, so.

[Toledo]

So what's the. He's got money. Is he famous?

[John Holmberg]

He's got a big wiener. And that's well known. And he's also a comedian who was on Saturday Night Live and I didn't find him that funny. I've seen a standup. It's okay.

[Brady]

Previous relationship, stale. Kim Kardashian, Ariana Grand Grande, Kate Beckinsale, Margaret Qualley.

[John Holmberg]

He's got a list. Good one, RA. His kill list is amazing. It's in.

[Toledo]

It's the guy.

[John Holmberg]

No, she's got standards. She's waiting for that special someone. But. Yeah. I. I don't get it. But I got. After a while I just have to go. You know what? You gotta tip your cap.

[Brady]

Dale's got a scoopy story.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Go ahead. Try not to yell it.

[Toledo]

No, just stop playing that music.

[John Holmberg]

Jeez.

[Toledo]

Emma Watson has received a six month driving band.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. In England. Six months Girl from Harry Potter. You don't know?

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know.

[Toledo]

I've never seen. No, I don't.

[John Holmberg]

You don't.

[Toledo]

I've heard of her. She's cute and she.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Okay. She was driving 38 and a 30. John.

[John Holmberg]

38 30.

[Toledo]

When you were. When you're driving home last night.

[John Holmberg]

Definitely going faster than that. 38 30.

[Toledo]

She received a fine of basically 1400 dollars. But it was her fourth driving offense in less than two years. UK drive back comes when you rack up 12 or more penalty points within three years. So. Poor old Emma. She's getting her doctorate from University of Oxford.

[John Holmberg]

Smart girl. I. I almost. She's got the Hogwarts degree. And now this. This. Cuz you totally employable.

[Toledo]

I. I almost went.

[John Holmberg]

Doctor. Were you a recruit?

[Toledo]

Yeah. I got a football scholarship.

[John Holmberg]

Did you? The rowing team.

[Brady]

Quidditch is what you went for.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. He's good at that.

[Brady]

Steve Miller band cancels all their tour dates due to the recent weather disasters. He's saying because of the rain.

[John Holmberg]

Was it rolling through that area?

[Brady]

In that area. But he also attributes it to the global warming.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He's canceling because of global warming. So he's got to not drive those semi trucks anymore.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Cuz we're. We're fools. And we are polluting the earth.

[Brady]

Canceled all 31 dates.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That he was going to tour around with trucks and stuff. And it's our fault he's not driving. That's true. But he's riding a. That's right. He's in a bus. Right. And. And he's got another bus.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The. The hypocrisy of global warming nonsense. Drives me nuts. Cuz it's probably very real. But they don't know why. And that. And everybody who gets mad at you is the biggest hypocrite in the world. Because you can't help but be. Stop driving. If you mean it. Stop driving.

[Toledo]

Or how about flying a Lear? You know your Lear jets.

[John Holmberg]

Right. If you're. If you truly are meaning this. Knock it off.

[Toledo]

Become. Become Amish.

[John Holmberg]

I give that weirdo little doom troll, Greta Thunberg. All the credit in the world because she sails places.

[Brady]

Doom goblin.

[John Holmberg]

Doom goblin. Yeah, she's a Swedish doom goblin. And she sails all over the world. She doesn't fly. She. But they flew her back when they arrested her for going into Gaza. Like, that's enough. She looked pretty happy in that first class seat, by the way. It's like, oh.

[Brady]

Black Sabbath's final show set a new record for the highest grossing charity concert of all time. Raised over 190 million.

[John Holmberg]

These windows, these guys in these windows. You cannot point to a window and everybody turns closer up. Ready?

[Brady]

Springsteen wrapped up up his tour. 729.7 million.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes strokes are hard to get sales. Be empathetic, you guys.

[Toledo]

Is Biden in here?

[John Holmberg]

No. Biden. No. We would understand what was happening. That noise threw us all, like. All right, well, this is the most.

[Brady]

Tickets sold, amount of money, basically $729 million. The boss.

[John Holmberg]

We heard you. It's just like us. Yeah. Limit your words. Take a break. Big breath.

[Brady]

Sales. The Boss, right?

[Toledo]

Do you like.

[John Holmberg]

Do you like Bruce Springsteen?

[Toledo]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

You're wrong about that, too.

[Toledo]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Why?

[Toledo]

Black Sabbath is better than Bruce Springsteen.

[John Holmberg]

Black Sabbath is miles better than Bruce Springsteen. Bruce Springsteen pretends to be a mechanic with his leather or his stupid denim jacket.

[Toledo]

I like his songs, though.

[John Holmberg]

When I was riding around on my daddy's laugh and turn, talking about being blue collar, just sold his music library for $400 million and then did in that podcast, and I was never like them. I lied about it the whole time. It was.

[Toledo]

Hold on, you're doing Jerry Jones?

[John Holmberg]

Nope. Jerry Jones is like this. Gotta pull him back. 2, 3, 4.

[Toledo]

Hey, you gonna watch that cowboy thing?

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[Toledo]

Netflix is coming out with how the Cowboys were built.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I don't care how they were built. No.

[Toledo]

Do you don't want to see some of this nonsense that Jerry and Jimmy this year? No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, back then, I've watched all that stuff where Jerry and Jimmy.

[Toledo]

This is Netflix, Johnny. This is new stuff.

[John Holmberg]

So they'll be cussing. I've watched the 30 for 30 with Jimmy and him getting into their fight, and essentially I agreed with Jimmy Johnson.

[Brady]

Did you, quarterbacks?

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Jimmy was right to say, hey, you know, he was in an interview with Bob Costas in this thing I saw. It's Jimmy, Jerry and Bob. And Bob says, do you. You know, you have more football knowledge than him and do you respect his knowledge of football? And Jimmy goes, no, no. Like, I've done this for 30 years. I. There's. I know more than he'll ever imagine.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And you see Jerry's like just that. Smiles on his face, but he is not happy. No.

[Toledo]

It was so perfect the first four years with. With Jerry doing business, Jimmy doing football.

[John Holmberg]

And you noticed as a player, when Jerry started to interject a little.

[Toledo]

Start to interject. And the other thing about Jimmy that bothered me was the fact that he said, hey, when you win, there's enough credit to go around. That's why he sold like Troy Michael Emmett on. Hey, you know, Troy. Troy stats always get banged a little bit. But if you look at his games, he threw 200 yards in the first half.

[John Holmberg]

A lot. A lot.

[Toledo]

And then we're ahead and we run.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Toledo]

Okay. So again, you're not going to get the huge stats. But Jimmy kept on telling us that. And then when it came down to it, it was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's essentially what it was.

[Toledo]

But Jerry doesn't need to be sitting around a bar telling, I could get 500 people.

[John Holmberg]

And he said that I could get five or 10 guys to coach this team. They say 500.

[Toledo]

Oh, I thought he said five to the talent I put together.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I didn't see that, though. Now. Yeah, screw your old Cowboys all the way around.

[Toledo]

Well, you'll watch it.

[John Holmberg]

I might. That actually sounds pretty interesting. That's it for us. Larry's out of town. Shan man's in for him. Thanks, Dale, for popping by here and let us know how Pop Pop's Grandpa Raping goes. Grandpa raping. Not a bad name. And remember, when you hear that, those phrases, you're listening to 93. 3. All right, we're done. See you guys tomorrow. So long. Powerful rock. It's out of control now.