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Brett
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Michael
This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. This fourth of July, as we celebrate freedom and the birth of our nation, ask yourself, are you truly free if past convictions are still holding you or a loved one back? It's time to reclaim independence. At Restore My Civil Rights, our attorney helps Americans like you reclaim what was lost. I did it. And so can you. To fight for your rights, visit restoremycivilrights.com or call 855-gun- rights and book a free consultation.
John
Today.
Brett
We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?
Byron
The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection, handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12. 90 and much more.
Brett
Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.
Byron
That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online@mmpguns.com.
John
Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It's 5:45, the morning sickness. My name's John, there's Brady, there's Bret. Big Dick Toledo, off and running. And if you're on the kiss cam, make sure that's not your HR lady. Tripp, Susie, don't go to the game together.
Brady
How many people put their combo together at the company that they're at?
John
Oh my God. Well, everybody's done it. This, if you haven't paid attention, this is a great one At Coldplay of all places. At Cold Play, you go to a, you go to a concert and you're thinking to yourself, well, this is a harmless. Nobody's gonna pay attention to me at Coldplay show and the CEO.
Brady
You've seen it, Brett.
Brett
Yeah.
John
Oh, that's great.
Brett
God damn you, Chris Martin.
John
Yeah, Chris Martin. And they have these big beautiful clear screens. I mean the worst part is like if you were to go to concerts 10 years ago, this never would happen. It would have been like, I don't know who that is. That's like the pixelated Digital with those 8 bit screens. And then they put those beautiful super clear Screen. The CEO of Astronomer. His name's Andy Byron. He put out a letter immediately like, ah. But his chief people officer, Kristen Cabot. Yeah, it's great. HR Chief Kristen Cabot and CEO Andy were in a. Got her from behind, across her breasts, hug. Listening to it was all yellow. And maybe she slipped when they put him on camera. That dude hit the dirt. He didn't Shaggy for a second second he hit the dirt and then afterwards, Shaggy. It wasn't me. But it's pretty funny.
Brady
She covers her face.
John
Yeah, it makes you wonder. Well, cuz she's worried that employees. She probably has reprimanded in the past for having inappropriate relations or instant termination. Yeah, yeah, they have. You cannot date another. What are you guys doing? Having social time. You're. You know. And there she is getting up by her. By her owner of the company at the Coldplay show. Was the whole. See, that's the thing. What the. Like, that wasn't a staff party. Was it like a group of people from the company?
Brady
I was wondering because I was looking at people around them reacting and it looked like, oh, maybe there were a couple other people in the office there. But I don't know.
John
It's so good. And we all, deep down, we all look at our HR lady. Or it's almost always, if you're an HR man, you're a lady. And the HR man. Oh, that's like being a nurse back in the 70s, it was cool to be a nurse of the man now.
Brett
But identify as hr.
John
I mean, exactly. It's a. It's one of the genders you choose out of the 70s. I'm an HR. LGBTQ. It's. Anyway, it's kind of funny because, you know, we all deep down kind of root for them to slip up because they're the Gestapo. The HR is the one that.
Toledo
Did you say that Jill had a nice blouse on this morning? You know, she's more than just an outfit and a look. She's a human being who deserves your respect.
John
All right, so she was ugly.
Toledo
Why do you have to make it about her?
John
Look, Lux, okay, I'm not gonna talk to anybody at work ever again. You guys have ruined it.
Brady
And it's their job. It's. Now I gotta say something. Now I gotta record. I think if you.
John
I think if you're in that business, you like it. I think like Brett says, and I'm not a full 100% not rat. But when you are a rat and you just take that job, you are a full rat. Like you're a gossip. Rat.
Brady
License to rat.
John
Yeah, you are. You are the one. Like, if you want that job, you're one of those people that can't wait to get into somebody's business or send out the email going, gotcha. Yeah, I think. Okay, we have that rule here that you're not supposed to bone each other. Right. That's like, in paperwork, though. You don't bone each other. And yet midway through the, you know, one of the bosses hired his wife. So I guess you can pre bone them and then bring. Yeah.
Brett
Oh, is that what it is?
John
Okay, I don't think you're allowed to.
Brett
Start bone bone ahead of time.
John
Yeah, you get it. Yeah, you get the bone in first. It's the bone and rump roast kind of deal. It's the. You got to get it in there, and I think you have to consummate something and then go, I've been boning this, but I want to hire her. Well, as long as you were boning her when she was. We can bring her in. I don't know what the rules are, but I know for a fact that if you go hugging up on the HR lady, you're gonna make a lot of employees go, gotcha, gotcha. We got you. But that video, if you haven't seen it yet, it's everywhere. Hilarious. Because that dude is guilty of whatever it is. If it's the guy that says, hey, it wasn't me, it wasn't me. We were just messing around. I didn't do anything. Boy, you can't have a more guilty response to being on the kiss cam ever.
Brett
She spilled her drink and. And slipped backwards into me.
John
I don't know.
Brady
What was it supposed to do?
John
Perfect time.
Brady
That was the thing. Someone made the point. What if that camera just goes by and they. They don't react?
Brett
It just, Hell yeah.
Brady
Shows him and goes by. There's no reaction. That's. You know, someone in the stadium would have to recognize that.
John
Yeah, yeah.
Brady
But since they reacted that way, it goes.
John
It looks 10 times worse. And especially because Chris Martin from Coldplay was like, oh, evidently they're having an affair. I hope we didn't do anything wrong. And he'. He saw it, like, immediately. He saw the oops. That's an. That's a bad thing.
Brett
He's in the middle of clocks and just starts apologizing.
John
So. Good. I could fix you anyway. Coldplay, awesome stuff, awesome stuff.
Brett
I think of a better show to get caught at.
John
Well, I mean, the good thing is you can claim you're gay. If you're at a Coldplay show, it's like a woman gross. And everybody be like, well, that is true. You did go to a cold.
Brady
We were posing.
John
Yeah, you did. You did go to a Coldplay show. So you being interested in women is very questionable to begin with. I'm sorry. I'm saying that I gotta be careful. I forgot 93. 3 if you have any complaints. What's in the matter? The bosses are in town so they can. They'll get mad at me when I start doing things that somebody might make a complaint call. So I always remind you who you're really listening to is. I'll do it again just for all tasty 933. That's not my station. It's station Brad. I can't. I can't help with the bumper sound.
Brady
So.
John
Yeah, if you're gonna go hugging on somebody, make sure that you're not in a wide open. You know, you're the CEO of a pretty big company. You're gonna have good seats. You're not. You're not in the riff raff. So it's easier for the cameraman to find a couple of people huggy hugging.
Brett
Was he in a suite?
John
I couldn't look like one of those types of things. He didn't have anybody around. He had enough room to duck. I don't think you're doing that in your chair. He had enough room to like lay down, so. Oh, awesome stuff. Hilarious. It's hilarious. It's sa for the dude. But, you know, you took your HR lady to a concert and started grabbing her cans and Coldplay caught you. I mean, and that's a good story, actually. It's like, yo, when he comes home.
Toledo
How was your work trip in Boston, Andy?
John
You paid attention to the news at all?
Toledo
Is there something I should be paying attention to?
John
And then she starts playing Coldplay in the background. And.
Toledo
Did you have fun? Did you go to do anything at nighttime?
Brady
Evidently she deleted her social media.
John
The HR lady?
Brady
No, the wife.
John
The wife. Oh, yeah, she was getting it. Like.
Brady
Yeah, she started getting some heat.
John
Oh, dude, you can't.
Brett
Yeah, he's going to Kobe up.
John
He's.
Brett
She's going to have a ring the size of this room.
John
That's a good thing about being a CEO.
Brett
A new Range Rover, you know, you definitely got that.
John
They say that the statement that he put out was false because it has a whole bunch of like little connect the dots things that say penis and like, like, like these little joke things that are in it. And he's like this. I didn't do this. This. This. The account was from Peter. Enos. P. Enos. And they're like. So they're trying to get him to double down, but he's. He's claiming that he wasn't even. That's not me. It's not me. I got to put out a real statement. So his real statement is going to be a Probably a pretty sad mea culpa to I've made a mistake. I'm a man. There's a deep drive by Castellano, so it's like, gonna be one of those deals. He's got nothing. He's got nowhere to go outside of.
Brett
Oh, he's toast.
John
I. I'm. Yeah, he's got nowhere to go besides. I. Up. I'm a mess. I gotta clean my. This was bad. This was dumb. I boned the HR lady, and the HR lady can't get fired because she's gotta turn to herself and say, you can't fire me for this. That's sexual harassment. This dude's done so out there. If you got any power at all, and you currently are boning your human resources department, stop it. Well, yeah, Just stop it. Bone Brady. Brady's now.
Brett
There you go.
John
Nobody's gonna believe that.
Brady
Give those Pantera tickets to someone else. Don't plan on.
John
You're gonna bone an employee, nail Brady, and then when it comes out, you're like, no, he's not doing that. That's disgusting. Always bone the grossest employee you've got if you're a manager. And then when people come a call and you're gonna still be there, it's like, nobody's gonna actually believe that happened. Like, wait a minute. This is the one. You. This hot air balloon. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I did make that mistake. Wow. We're not gonna fire you at all. We feel sorry for you, so. Yeah, you always. That's why we have the slump buster contest going on down there in the sales department right now. Is. That's essentially what it is. If management has to get its pickle tickled, by all means. The grossest employee you can find down there, the farting lady, that's who you gotta bone. And it's not fun, but if you're gonna do it, that's the one you gotta do. Because when she comes clean, everybody's gonna be like, we're. We're looking into this there'. Way. And if you're a boss, deny it until the pig quits. That was a. That's terrible advice. What the hell station is this alt? AC93.3. I'm so sorry. What a. What a mess.
Brett
We're going to walk downstairs today and Coldplay's going to be.
John
Tripp's going to be like, oh no, I've got a heart on. Where's Moynihan? I gotta nail Moynihan real quick. Nobody would believe it.
Brett
All right, Ed, you'll do.
John
Ed, come here for a second. Moynihan's at lunch. Go. Thanks. No, no problem, boss. That was interesting. Can we talk about that? We'll never talk again. Ed's morning sickness. Hear the words you say sometimes? I mean, who talks like that? 98K Upd Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Yeah, go ahead. Try to tell H. Nobody will believe it. Have you seen yourself at. Geez, you're lucky Moynihan's here. Everybody'd be nailing you. Anyway, off I go.
Brady
Hehehe.
John
Yeah. Bosses don't do it. It's another thing about Larry being a boss too. We never have to worry about that. We never have to worry about Larry in a sex scandal. Yeah, it's bad news.
Brett
I think this guy could have done better.
John
You didn't like her? It's all right. Really.
Brett
For CEO kind of money. He could have bought. He could have bought. He could have bought up. Could have upgraded.
John
Yeah, that's doing some.
Brett
Why riding coach, you know, he's calling pull it up again. Pull it up.
Brady
I gotta finally see him.
Brett
I mean, he's all right, but I mean, for CEO money, that. That's like. That's. That's Ed money.
John
Is she worth the risk? No, I. I'll go with you on that. But I mean, Coldplay things to your brain. I didn't even find you attractive till the song started, but now I want to put this in hr. Yeah, you know what, Brett? I'm looking too. That is not hr. Quality kill.
Brett
That's not CEO money or.
John
Yeah, CEO money, but again, that magnificent bastard Chris Martin. Yeah.
Brady
Was it Boston?
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
Yeah.
Brett
I don't know if it was a.
John
Fenway or was it got the Boston sun? He was on the Ducks earlier, throwing fingers in HR. Oh, Jesus. Who said that? What was stop at 933? Who's that? Gillette got to keep the boss played the football stadium and they. They're saying that the people that were in the suite with him clearly knew. Cuz you see their reactions on the Kiss game. They were like. You guys, they're like gone. Okay? It's.
Brady
It's.
John
It's the same as when people in Nagasaki looked up and said, oh, yeah, this is the same thing happened in Hiroshima a couple days ago. They knew immediately. Cheryl, we told you. Yeah, he's the CEO.
Toledo
What am I supposed to do?
John
I don't know. Did you think you're gonna get married? You don't have a CEO wife face.
Toledo
But I could get one with his money.
Brady
That might go away if he's the CEO, technically the owner of the company. I know it's the policy, but don't worry. You're Stan.
John
Brett, come here and sit on my laugh for a minute. I don't know what's going on with this song, but just. Just kind of come here for a minute. Go get Susie downstairs. I'm gonna rub up against. Oh, the video is fantastic because when Chris Martin does it, it's just. It's, you know what? And it's salacious and it's bad, and you wouldn't root for anybody to have this happen, but damn it all, when it does, it's hilarious. And this. This Coldplay. Brady, I think I need you to. To come over here for a minute and just touch my thigh for a second. Just help me out. Here we go. There it is. You got to turn Coldplay off or we're going to lose our minds. This is good stuff. Here's the video of them doing. Oh, they got it on the news plays. Chris Martin accidentally exposed what is an affair live during a concert. That's a responsible report. His camera panning to a couple swaying to the song and then instantly hiding when they realized they were busted. Now, the Internet sleuths out there have found more information on these folks, naming them.
Brady
She's cheering.
John
She put her arms.
Brett
Probably because she got passed up for this.
John
You know what? Because the. Because that weird hag got the job she wants.
Brady
That's mine. I'm the new leader of hr.
John
Maybe she hates the issue. You know, she always said it was like the psycho bitch that runs hr. Someday she's going to get caught. We all know they're doing it.
Brett
Yeah, that. That's. That's not CEO type quality there.
John
And that's the other thing. No, I. You know what? Brett's talked me into this. Brett's incredible misogyny and misery is talking into this. You're not wrong. That is not a woman that CEO.
Brett
Should be risking at all to get halved for that.
John
Come on. He's going to get halved and have his company swiped. He's going to get Papa John and halved. There's going to be an apostrophe on his. On his company. He's not going to be part of it and at least halved.
Brett
Yeah. And at some point he's got it nup so tight.
John
Oh. And it's just. And idiots like us thousand miles away just can't get enough of laughing at and for, you know, hey, could it happen to us? That's why you always hire someone that's, you know, unable with hr, which is something that would get you sent to hr. If you said the HR lady. No one will. The HR lady is something that ironically gets you sent to hr. But that's the truth. And that's how a good HR department runs.
Brady
I can remember. I mean, a couple of companies that.
John
The guy had get Coldplay back up.
Brady
Just their, their assistant was just beautiful. And the Internet couple of wives are like, why are you doing this? It's like hiring the hot nanny.
John
The hot nanny. The hot nanny always ends badly. It's never. Oh, man, this one. Guys, come here for a second. I'm gonna pull your pants out. I'm gonna give you a bj.
Brady
Film it, Brett.
John
You can't have it. Yeah, film it. And you know what? You're fired if you don't let me do this hr. Oh, that's good stuff. But you know what, Brett? In the beginning, I just had a good laugh at it. And now I'm thinking from his perspective. You're gonna run the risk. It's like if that was, you know, if it was Halle Berry or Margot Robbie. All right, Hugging on a girl. He's like, my God. I mean, if she's coming onto him, how does he stop himself? He's on the. He's. He's got this in the background. He's paying for everything. He's the king of the world. He's got all the power. And HR is like, I won't tell. Uh, oh, and who's gonna tell on him?
Brett
I think even the board of directors would give you a pass. If it's like Margot Robbie or something, like, yeah, you're good, don't worry about it.
John
But you're right. That skeleton headed toast face. Gret's right. She's too ugly to risk it for. I'm gonna be like those people that were on Luigi Mangione's side free. This CEO mistake when he's one of the few guys that goes out and says after he gets busted, it was a mistake, I made a mistake. Now we see it. We, we admit it. You were. It's all in see? Nothing.
Brett
I don't know what that was.
John
Anyway, hilarious. And everybody's out there doing the exact same thing with their bosses, who's our hr. And then you're like, boom, boom. Oh, that would be just like if Blank banged blank. What would we do about it?
Brady
That's what's amazing too. At that show. Yeah, there might be.
John
Might be.
Brett
I got that song on my head.
Brady
What do you mean? 8, 10 other couples in the same scenario. Oh, well, if the size Gillette Stadium.
John
Oh, oh. If you're doing percentages of how many people are the 50, 60,000. Wipe their forehead. Sweat. Mole my flop sweat. Oh, yeah, because I'm here with my mistress and they didn't put us up on Kiss Cam.
Brett
All right, we gotta go. We gotta go right now.
John
Let's go.
Toledo
What happened?
John
Just run. Run away. By the way, you're fired.
Brett
And run that way.
John
You go away from me, I'm gonna claim rape. I'm gonna say it looked like you. If you get caught to play the.
Brett
Game, I'll call you a goddamn ammo. You're not riding with me.
John
Run. And if you know what's good for you, run fast. Cuz bullets move quickly. I'm not saying. I'm just. Oh, boy, here we go again. Yeah. What's playing in the back of that?
Brett
Well, this is like the album version.
John
Oh, man. When I ruled the world, the poor CEO. And where did he sleep? Like what Couch. He's. His back hurts today. That dude's couch is probably pretty nice.
Brady
But he went back to the room they already had booked.
John
Yeah, that could be. Did it finish?
Brett
We're already in.
John
There's a better question. There's like, well, alone. No, I mean, did he get that? Did he call her up? She's two rooms over at the hotel there. They didn't stay at separate hotels. She got used to the penthouse suite. Oh, yeah. She's down there in that two bed ride with the little baby fridge. And he's upstairs. He's got a bar, a living room. He probably text goes, we're in trouble now. Cat's out of the bag know.
Toledo
But that Coldplay song's got me like Niagara Falls.
John
Oh, don't think I'm that hard as a rock. Thinking about boning you one last time.
Toledo
Maybe we should just say goodbye.
John
Yeah, that's a good idea. You should come on up. Great stuff. Bone the fat ladies in the office. What is wrong with you CEOs? God damn it.
Brady
Honey, we were just posing for the Kiss cam. It didn't mean it. And I just.
John
Oldest trick in the book. You boned the pig. No one believes her. Mark Grace taught us this in the 1990s. That's what a slump bust. Oh, forget it. I'm. Get over here.
Brady
Brett from Boston. Ray Allen top.
John
It's been years and years. Mark Grace came clean with it on the Jim Rome show. Thanks. On the phone you just get a slump buster and you try to get out of your slump. I do not know what that is. What is a slump buster? That's when you're. You can't get a hit and you go out to a bar and you pick the fattest, grossest girl in the city or in and you nail it. And how much worse can life be? And then you go out there the next day a little free and easy and get a couple of hits. Look at the star. It's a great move, Grace. It's a great move. The slump buster. Fast forward 30 years. Our company uses it as motivation to sell. We got posters all over downstairs with a dude holding ice cream. Slump buster. Summer softened up. Trying to. It's a predator on a beach with ice cream trying to lure a fat girl so we can get better sales. Stupid. No, it's good. And have you also noticed the one we've got downstairs? The other motivational poster that they've put up downstairs in a never ending effort to lower the bar to where my brain just goes. Really? They have a picture of Ted Lasso pointing to believe with his right arm straight out.
Brett
Oh yeah, I saw that.
John
But he's got his little mustache and his arm straight up and it looks just like Hitler. It's a Hitler picture that just says believe and that's supposed to motivate ourselves. Wanna know what's even better? Oh, no, that's Scott the bot. Yeah, it's our guy for Halloween. They didn't even trademark in French. It's got the bot. The mustache isn't quite right. And Scott's pointing.
Brady
I didn't even know that. I looked at it.
John
I just oh, I saw Hitler. And I'm like, oh, Scott got a short mustache off Amazon. Go down and look at it again. And that arm movement. I'm like, they put a picture of Hitler up next to the word believe or else. What is going on with Susan in the sales department? Swamp busting Hitler pictures.
Brett
Just showing that off, you know, it.
John
Makes me ashamed to work it alt ac93even. Go another day here. Crazy.
Brett
How do we work under these conditions?
John
It's impossible. But it's fun. Hol's morning sickness. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? 98 KUPD. Holg's Morning Sickness.
Brady
Friday's Later Hose. A day for the staff leisure. Later hose.
John
Yeah, we're going to have beer steins and the St. Pauli girl running around. Lederhosen everywhere, those accordions and all sorts of just German stuff while we celebrate the big Believe poster we've got downstairs.
Brady
If you're in sales, you wear an armband.
John
It's an unfavorable pose and I don't know why I'm the only one who sees that kind of stuff and how the person who printed it still gets the tape, gives it to another person and Emily, who's probably all for it. Q and I probably loved hanging those Hitler posters downstairs. And Post put them up all over the place.
Brett
I saw him, I walked by and.
John
I'm like, yeah, yeah, of course. You going? Yeah. Anybody in the building? Brett's gonna walk by and go, oh, I guess that's the route we're going now. Like, Brett didn't even know it was Ted Lasso. He just thought, no, I didn't. Is this official? Is this official now? Okay. And I'm the one who gets yelled at. But I mean, they're hanging Hitler posters in the building. I didn't do that. Somebody should. Somebody should catch a little financial problem for that one. Can I point out some of the flaws in the building and see if there's some checks that start flying around?
Brady
Put two and two. It says Super Sales.
John
It's the ss. It's the. It's the summer super sale. The summer SS Believe. Look at our posts, everybody. All you listeners are invited to take a tour today. And you'll walk in and go, oh, that's the Hitler poster Homberg was talking about. Yeah, we got them hanging all over next to the Predator. Looking for a fat girl on the beach with ice cream. Says slump buster over his head. What's going on down there anyway? It makes me laugh hysterically that there's that much oblivion.
Brady
I didn't realize. The winner of the sales contest gets a retreat in Argentina.
John
Yeah, you get your choice, Argentina or Brazil. And you also get a Doberman. You get a couple incredibly well trained Doberman Laurence Olivier picture. And yeah, a trip to Brazil. And it's amazing. And your own lab for experimenting there. Oh, no, I'm just gonna start whacking.
Brett
If I know this one.
John
It's a hell of a concert. I remember when they first came out. What was it 99, thereabouts. And it was 2000 because I was living in LA and yellow had just hit. And they did a show in Los Angeles, and the crowd was singing the song song with him. And Chris Martin stopped, and I don't know how real the performance was, but he started to cry. And he goes, I had no idea you guys knew the song yet. It was like. That was such a moment. I don't remember. It was. I think it was at the weenie roast. KROC was in charge of it. Yeah. I didn't know Tripp then, but. And. And he stopped and he goes, I. I didn't know you guys knew the song.
Brett
Did he bring. Did he bring his HR girl to that one?
John
Yeah. Is he the OG or what? And all of us mailed HR and we left. It's a Coldplay tradition. I think I might be gay for real. I know every Coldplay. Wow.
Brett
I didn't know this one.
John
This is the one that Chris Rock went on that when he hosted the. I don't know if it was the Oscars or the Grammys. When he goes, I don't know how white people haven't cut their wrists open if this is a hit song. He's like basically saying, this is the most suicidal hit song of all time. This is the scientist. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
Brett
Good call.
John
Oh, thank you. I was fooled by this band for a little more.
Brett
Thought they were straight.
John
Yeah.
Brett
I mean, for straights.
Brady
No, they were. It did come out that way. And then they kind of turned a little bit.
John
They came out gay as hell. Super gay. And you're like, oh, these little ballads are. They're good, but they're a poor manu too. And then. And then they got more and more colorful. We'll say Clocks is a great song. There's a couple. You can't. You can't deny. This one's good. It's just boring as. Anyway, get on it. And if you're gonna go to a Coldplay show, take the fat girl from the office. They're grateful. Fat girls don't tell. They don't tell. They fall in love. You gotta be careful. The fat girl gets confused by the attention, but they don't tell. And when they do tell, no one believes them. It's the perfect maneuver. Have we not learned a thing since we were apes?
Brady
Answer.
John
No. The answer is no. We've learned math. That's a about it.
Brett
Now we're getting Coldplay requests.
John
Are we? Oh, this is a. I am gay. I forgot about this one. If HR Was a guy, I'd have been hugging him. This one will get you. This was on the Garden State soundtrack, which is also kind of a gay gay. But it's really good.
Brady
Good. Good when it came out.
John
But it's still good. It's just. It is gay if you. You turn it down. If you're at a streetlight with your windows down and this would play, you're like, oh, oh, geez. The dude in the Hellcat's gonna kill me if he sees me. Especially if you're singing top of your lungs. Or you do like I do and you turn the vocals off on Apple itunes. Singing it.
Brett
Just you and then you know this song.
John
Hey, hey, brother. Hey, what's going on over there? You gonna kill yourself? You're gonna blow a dude? What's happening at this stoplight now? Sorry about that, DeAndre. I didn't see you.
Brady
He rolls down the window and looks at you on your scooter. Y.
John
Hey, hey. Homosexual. Keep it down. I'm not gay. What? Oh, I guess I see. I see the confusion. Sure about that? Thank you, Lamont. Is that a V6? Hell, yeah, it's a V6. Hellcat. V8's $100,000. Nice. Hellcat.
Brett
Excuse me, Holmes.
John
A queer Jewish boy. Please stop screaming that incredibly annoying song. It sounds like you got cats in your trunk fighting. No, no. Just sound that to people who aren't me. Get trouble going to find yourself a fat girl anyway, man.
Brett
They got some suicide music here.
John
That's the thing. And after a lot. But then you realize the entire catalog of Coldplay will make you slit your wrist wide open. Bleed out in a bathtub.
Brady
They sell bathtubs at the Merch Shirts.
John
Bathtub.
Brett
They learn from Jean Simmons.
John
Yeah. Subscriptions to A Dollar Shave Club. And Bathtub tubs at the Pick up the Cold Plume. Let me just say, before there's the owners in town, I don't encourage you to kill yourself because you'll listen to Coldplay. Well, maybe. Maybe it's a better idea. You seem kind of depressed. Anywho. Yeah. It just doesn't make sense, man. Doesn't make sense to me. And Brett's right. I didn't see it. I didn't look at that. I was looking at the hilarity too much. Brett was looking at the details. Good on you, Brett. Well, well.
Brett
That's the first thing I looked at him. Oh, man.
Brady
We're fine.
John
Dude's gonna lose it all.
Brady
Stadium show.
John
Yeah.
Brady
There's 100,000 people.
Brett
Coldplan is sweet. He Couldn't find something better.
John
Yeah.
Brett
I mean, whoa. Come on. Hire out of it.
John
Yeah. Looking at her again.
Brett
Yeah.
John
In Boston, all I'm seeing is one of the old Kennedy sisters. Like, she's in her. This is Brett's, right. Bad choice.
Brett
And, you know, she's got that Boston accent, too, which is even worse.
John
I don't know if she's from there. She looks like it. Pocket in my ass. Poc. Yes. Like, oh, God, he's losing his company for this, Sally. Yeah. At least the fat girl just sits there and eats the cake you give her while you do it and then goes, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Brady
I think I see Tommy.
John
Tommy pounded into me like, Grank. Give me some grant dick. Shut your mouth, please. God, I should have nailed the fat lady downstairs. Anyway, we've all been idiots before, but not on tv.
Brett
At least make it worth it.
John
Jesus. And if you're gonna do it, there's two. Two. You have to either either do it high, super high, and overachieve.
Brett
Absolutely.
John
Or down in the depths of hell of Mordor, in the depths of murder.
Toledo
I met a girl.
John
So get down there with them flopping hogs that gets on tv, and it'll look like, oh, no, he wasn't hugging her. He got caught in her gravitational pull. There's nothing could do. Anyway, have fun with that one.
Brett
Move your trough of nachos over, please.
John
I was. I was trying to move her. It was nearly impossible as a team of us. No, it's. He fell in love with a HR lady that. The more I look, the more she's like just a human embodiment of the Subaru Outback, and I don't like this at all anymore, Brett. You've ruined it. Poor guy. And the other news that I was reading, and this is another thing that just. Again, management's terrible to say Stephen Colbert like his show, hate his show. Do whatever you want to do. This hurts me a little, because David Letterman was the guy who started CBS's Late show, and I was a big Letterman fan when I was a kid. And then in the 90s, and then late 90s, he started to get a little weird. And then 2000s, he became wildly political and strange, which all those shows did and kind of changed the landscape of late night night. However, it was CBS's most successful. It was. It was the number one broadcast television late night show. Gutfeld kills, if you count cable. And I think the Daily show is right there with them, too, sometimes. But for a consistent basis, it was the number one late Night Talk show and CBS announced yesterday for budget reasons because they're doing such a poor job managing the entity of cbs, they went over and took a successful, successful thing and chopped it up from under itself because they'd rather have a little more money in the bottom line than they would ever have make, make the product better, ever have a successful show. So Stephen Colbert, who I think is brilliant but politically has let himself be so exposed. It's, it's not for everybody. If you go back and watch the old Colbert show, the Colbert Report, it was biting, hilarious no matter which side you're on. And he was definitely, he was making fun of reporting Republicans, but in a way that was just hysterical. Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? 98 Holmberg's Morning Sickness. And if you go way back to the original Stephen Colbert stuff, the Dana Carvey show that was on, he was, one of the writers was Steve Carell, Louis C. This, this group of people was unbelievable. And they put this eight weeks they had a show, the Dana Carvey show. And it was so far gone. If you ever want to watch something that I guarantee makes you laugh hard, it's too funny to fail on Hulu. It's the story of the Dana Carvey show. And it, they didn't, you know, and Robert Smigel was the head writer. I mean it is a, it is a call of the funniest people on the planet. Stephen Colbert was there. Anyway, CBS decides in, in May they're going to kill all of their late night programming will go away for budgetary reasons because. Not because Stephen Colbert's bad at his job, not because they weren't getting results, is because it's expensive and the rest of the network sucks. So instead of trying to make the rest of the network better, they take their powerful thing and they pull it down to the lower level of the rest of the network. And.
Brady
Well, the other thing is there is a trend that the late night show shows aren't pulling what they used.
John
They're not.
Brady
And they're doing nothing but going down.
John
However expensive to run, they make money.
Brady
The other thing they're throwing in is evidently he's been relentless on the. Yeah, but that's one of the $16 million settlement.
John
Yeah, they're trying to say that he bashed over Paramount. Yeah, he bashed CBS for the settlement with Trump over the 60 minutes.
Brady
I just think you got to figure out something in late night. I mean, why something to the form. Maybe there's. What if they take him back because he, he kind of said it sounded like they're going to retool, like they got something else.
John
No, he said, I'm going to enjoy doing the show with these people going forward for the next 10 months. Yeah, that's it. And they will retool something. Conan o' Brien has a staff of seven and is making three times as much for himself than he did when he was at TBS making money for other people. These TV executives seem to think there's no other game in town. Like, yeah, sorry, we got to let you go. Your career's over. No, it's just beginning. Why make money for CBS when they're, when they're going to cut you for good performance? Late night TV isn't what it used to be, but it makes money. Morning shows on TV are. They crush it bonanza. So eventually it'll all just be news. But you know, Stephen Colbert, if they were mad at him for a political thing, you don't see it because that's all they allowed him to do forever. So if that's the cost of doing business with Stephen Colbert is that you get into politics, you let him go crazy with him, and then you can't get mad when he drifts off what you've been making money off of the whole time. He gets paid an exorbitant amount of money to be that because it's a, it's a money maker. But the network sucks so bad. Broadcast television has been absolutely destroyed by television executives who put on Scrubs. The reunion. Yes, The Night Court reboot. They don't know what they're doing. And it's clean, clear to even laymen like me. But you see that kind of stuff and it makes you realize, oh, the talent, the actual quality of product, none of that matters. It all comes down to whether or not they can have. They can save their assets, future, you.
Brady
Know, that audience that they're going after.
John
It doesn't matter anymore. It's. None of.
Brady
It's like, I can't.
John
None of it matters. They see, how do we make that bottom line look a little better for now? Because it's. They're not doing anything to make the. Make the network better. No, nothing about their networks getting better. It's actually getting. Getting worse. But for a second, they'll have a spike. So shareholders and the board and everything. Oh, nice job. That's it. We had a nice little 10, 2% growth this last because we killed Stephen Colbert show. Now what? Well, you better figure it out.
Brett
They'll just replace it with Infomercials or they'll reboot Cheers with George Wentz Kid playing him or something. Something stupid like that.
John
They're gonna do. I would watch that. I would watch that stupid show.
Brady
They're gonna do CSI Detroit.
John
Yeah.
Brady
They've had a spin off.
John
Well, I've made no bones about it. Radio executives and television executives are stepping over each other to see who can ruin traditional media faster with terribly stupid ideas. And I don't know if they've noticed absolutely nobody banging on the door to be in your industry, either one. There's. There's. There's this thing called podcasting and computers that everybody's like, why would I work for you? Why would I sit here and have you tell me to shut up and play the songs or listen to some consultant tell me I'm not funny when I can just find that out on my own? They just don't get.
Brady
It's just pure numbers that. That's based on. There's no.
John
Oh, boy. I didn't even think about that. The only. I'm going to. For this.
Brett
Uhoh.
John
Definitely going to get yelled after this. 933. Maybe they'll. Maybe they'll take it to Izzy.
Brett
Yeah, now we're safe.
John
I made. I made no secret of that. And. And for them to defend it is hysterical. Yeah. It's like O.J. saying, you know, you know, I. I don't know what murder is. What. You're like the king of it. Like, you wrecked it, you killed it, and now you're trying to say there were some other. You know, then why is it failing? That's just, you know, habits change. We gotta find the real killers. Why is this industry dying? Like, I don't know, maybe you. But to cut Colbert, which means soon. And you saw it yesterday. Jimmy Kimmel immediately tweeted out, you, cbs, take all your Sheldons and stuff and up your ass. Because basically they're like, we've got one thing, this Sheldon thing. And once we burn out how to, you know, suck the bone marrow out of all the Sheldon shows, we don't have any ideas.
Brett
Is that still on?
John
Well, they have young Sheldon. I think that one's off. But then they're running. They're trying. They'll get another. They'll get like, teenage Sheldon and then Sheldon. The Jesus years. I don't know what they're doing.
Brady
Matlock.
John
Matlock's back. They just made him a woman. They don't have any clue what to do. None. And then they're like, why is our network sucking so bad? I. I don't know you.
Brett
Wow.
John
Then why can't we. Why do we have a downturn in every single aspect of this thing? I don't know. You fired Colbert. You could have like nurtured that, I guess.
Brady
Well, the funny thing is, like you said, they said this has nothing to do about performance. It's great. This is all budget cut.
John
He makes like 35 million a year. I mean, the budget cut makes sense though. You look at it from that point.
Brady
He was great. We really enjoyed working.
John
We had to get rid of something that was incredible. We really enjoyed. What a talent. Great. We gotta it of get rid. It's a budget thing. You couldn't just renegotiate money. No, we're too stupid to do that. We gotta. We gotta hire a Sheldon show. So Kimmel saw the writing on the wall. ABC's gotta be looking over at him going, juice worth a squeeze with you? For God's sakes, Fallon, it's a matter of time before that dude's out on his ass. Those numbers are terrible. And then you look at Greg Gutfeld, that little tiny person killing it, and realize.
Brett
That it must have skipped over.
John
The Goo Goo doll spread. I. The Twinkl Sorry.
Brett
No, I put on the Twinklist. Sorry about that.
John
But yeah, those guys will all get canned and then. And then what? It's going to be news and live events for broadcast television soon, guaranteed. Because those are the only ones that cost them nothing. News costs nothing. It happens. You don't have to write anything. Just shows up.
Brett
Well, the Matlock thing is on just because it's familiar for old people and they don't know how to stream.
John
They don't. So they just.
Brett
Yeah.
John
No clue how to appeal to the younger generation with something that's been free and branded beautifully for hundreds of years.
Brett
Perry Mason will be coming back too soon, right?
John
I mean. That's right, Mr. Ed.
Brett
And what else.
John
Could we do that again without animal abuse?
Brady
Oh, man.
John
Mr. Ed's a great. Brett. You should be a TV executive. I think you're gonna.
Brett
Well, hell, I couldn't do any worse.
John
No, you couldn't at all. At Colbert's. Pretty good. It's doing pretty well. Highest rated late night show. We should probably cut that. We should probably get rid of that. That'll be. That'd be a nice chunk of change in our pocket. We can save our ass by getting rid of that Colbert show. Writing's on the wall tonight on Benji pd. Well now, Brady, Benji PD is a new idea. Sure. You're breaking Benji out. But Benji PD sounds pretty good. Yeah. They would do something dumb like that.
Brett
Eric Castrato is going to straddle the bike again and get back out there. Yeah.
John
Elderly Chips. And he's just, he's on like a three wheel scooter at Walmart. He's, he's running the security over at Walmart.
Brett
Chips.
John
Where's the chips? Aisle.
Brady
He's yelling at the mechanic in the garage cuz his rascal's broken.
John
Get it fixed. I'm no fan of Stephen Colbert's show. I think he's really funny, but I didn't like it cuz he used to get so. It used to be so personal. Like it was almost malicious and intent. I don't like did change a little bit intentional comedy to be malicious or mean. Like I can be mean but it's usually tongue in cheek, man. I'm never trying to be malicious. That's the one rule I've always said. It's the reason you can get away with all what we get away with is because people look and go, he's, he's a dick. He's getting away because he's a dick and he knows it. And it's never been an attack, you know, he's never, he's never meant it. Sometimes I have and when I do, I always remind you you're listening to all day Z9003 3. I'm not gonna get in trouble for that. Anyway, it's 6:26. Brett, what do you got in the big board of musical treats this morning before we get fired for being too successful?
Brett
Was it that time already?
John
You never know. No more cold play though because that got me half hard and started looking around for places I could roll Brady, where there's no cameras. Here comes Toledo. I hadn't even thought about banging him. He'd be, he'd be quiet. Oh yeah, you'd be grateful.
Brady
Yeah, absolutely.
John
He'd be one of them. You want to go now? Yeah. See, now you're too anxious. You're, you're going to let, you're not, you're not discreet enough. You're going to be standing in the hallways, your ass spread open going, hey boss. I'm like, all right, you're making everybody know. Yeah.
Brett
Wake up. Songs this early?
John
No.
Brett
Aren't we learning?
John
Oh, did I say. Oh Jesus. That's why you looked at me like that. I'm like, what's wrong with you? Look, I'm trying to get through the day faster. I want to go home. Sorry. You're Right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. 585-9800. That is the number you call us. You give us the wake up sleep. Yeah, Brett.
Brett
I mean, I'll pick something.
John
Brett's busy analyzing ladies that you can have affairs with.
Brady
He's deep in the cold.
John
If you're thinking about having an affair with a woman at work, send Brett the picture. He'll tell you if she's worth having.
Brett
Or be vesley98kupd.com be vesley is the yeah.
John
@98Kupd.Com he'll help you out through that stuff. And if you're gonna slump bust, let's see her. We all want a good laugh. Send those to dtoledo98kupd.com and always remember as is. You know, all over our building downstairs. And real motivational. Always remember what Hitler said. Believe.
Brett
Oh, wow.
John
That's what our sales staff has to deal with every day.
Brett
Should we post that? I'll go get a picture of it.
John
Yes. It's in our first glance. First blush. Before you actually eyeball it. If you don't see it, you're not seeing what I see. Give us that Wake up song. 585-9800. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUP. Wake Up, Arizona's most powerful rock radio stat. It's out of control now.
Summary of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona" Episode 07-18-25
Title: Can't Get Enough Of The CEO Whose Affair Was Outed On The Kiss Cam At Coldplay Concert - CBS Announces End To Late Show w/ Stephen Colbert
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Release Date: July 18, 2025
In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg sets the stage for a day filled with candid conversations and sharp humor. Joined by co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, the team dives into two major news stories shaking the corporate and entertainment worlds: a CEO's scandalous affair caught live on camera during a Coldplay concert and CBS's unexpected decision to cancel the Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
The episode opens with the hosts dissecting the sensational news of Andy Byron, CEO of Astronomer, whose indiscretion with Kristen Cabot, the company's Chief People Officer, was prominently displayed on the Kiss Cam during a Coldplay concert.
John Holmberg remarks on the clarity of modern concert cameras:
"Chris Martin and the clear screens at Coldplay concerts made this possible, unlike the pixelated cameras of the past." (02:11)
Brady Bogen questions the prevalence of workplace romances:
"How many people put their combos together at the company they're at?" (01:46)
The conversation swiftly moves to the role of HR in such scenarios. The hosts humorously critique the HR department's policies and effectiveness in preventing workplace affairs.
John comments on HR's likely response:
"If you go hugging on the HR lady, you're gonna make a lot of employees go, 'Gotcha, gotcha. We got you.'" (05:00)
Dick Toledo adds a layer of satire regarding management's approach to workplace relationships:
"Should be risking at all to get a half for that." (16:20)
The fallout from the incident is a focal point, with Andy Byron issuing a public apology caught on camera, further igniting discussions about corporate accountability and personal responsibility.
John highlights the CEO's reaction:
"He hit the dirt and then afterwards, said it wasn't me. That's the most guilty response you can get." (06:10)
The hosts speculate on the potential impacts on Astronomer's reputation and internal dynamics, blending humor with critical analysis of corporate culture.
Shifting gears, the hosts delve into CBS's surprising move to end the Late Show with Stephen Colbert, a staple in late-night television.
John expresses his disappointment:
"Stephen Colbert was brilliant, and CBS pulling his show is a misstep driven by budget cuts." (34:00)
Brady discusses industry trends impacting late-night shows:
"They're not doing anything but going down. Late-night shows aren't pulling their weight anymore." (35:08)
The hosts explore the broader implications of this decision for the late-night genre and the entertainment industry.
John laments the loss of quality content:
"Broadcast television is being destroyed by executives' poor decisions, ignoring successful talents in favor of short-term savings." (37:11)
Bret speculates on potential replacements:
"They'll just replace it with Infomercials or reboot classic shows like Cheers. Something stupid like that." (37:47)
The discussion also touches on Stephen Colbert's evolution as a host and his impact on late-night television.
John reminisces about Colbert's earlier work:
"If you go back and watch the old Colbert Report, it was biting, hilarious, no matter which side you were on." (34:00)
Brady notes the challenges networks face in balancing political content with entertainment:
"If they're mad at him for being too political, they can't pet astral B on him drifting off what they've been making money off." (37:28)
Throughout the episode, the hosts interweave sharp, satirical commentary on office culture, HR policies, and motivational strategies within corporate environments.
John critiques the sales department's posters:
"We have posters with Hitler-like imagery next to 'Believe,' which doesn’t help morale at all." (22:32)
The team humorously discusses the ineffectiveness and absurdity of certain corporate incentives and motivational tactics.
John jests about the stereotypical role of HR:
"HR is like the Gestapo. The HR lady is the one that, ironically, gets you sent to HR." (04:24)
Dick Toledo and Bret Vesely contribute exaggerated office scenarios that highlight the dysfunctionality often present in corporate HR departments.
Adding to the episode's dynamic, the hosts share personal anecdotes and engage in playful banter that underscores their camaraderie and comedic timing.
John recalls a memorable Coldplay concert moment:
"I remember when they first came out around 1999-2000 in LA, and Chris Martin started to cry during a song. That was such a moment." (25:41)
The team mocks their own office environment, blending personal stories with broader societal observations to keep the conversation engaging and relatable.
As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the chaotic blend of corporate scandals and shifts in the entertainment landscape, reaffirming their ability to find humor amidst the absurdities of modern media and workplace dynamics.
John Holmberg sums up the day's discussions:
"Whether it's a CEO caught on the Kiss Cam or CBS canceling iconic shows, it's all part of the chaotic media landscape we navigate every day." (44:14)
The team encourages listeners to stay tuned for more candid conversations and humorous takes on current events in future episodes.
"Chris Martin and the clear screens at Coldplay concerts made this possible, unlike the pixelated cameras of the past." — John Holmberg (02:11)
"How many people put their combos together at the company they're at?" — Brady Bogen (01:46)
"If you go hugging on the HR lady, you're gonna make a lot of employees go, 'Gotcha, gotcha. We got you.'" — John Holmberg (05:00)
"Stephen Colbert was brilliant, and CBS pulling his show is a misstep driven by budget cuts." — John Holmberg (34:00)
"We have posters with Hitler-like imagery next to 'Believe,' which doesn’t help morale at all." — John Holmberg (22:32)
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends current events with comedic insights, offering listeners a nuanced yet entertaining take on significant news stories. From dissecting a high-profile corporate scandal to critiquing shifts in late-night television, John Holmberg and his co-hosts deliver a captivating and humorous analysis that resonates with Arizona's #1 morning radio audience.