← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
07-18-25 - It's Stephanie Seymour's BDay Sending John Down A Time Travel Scenario Back To His 80s Self BO
00:16:47
Loading summary
Transcript7 lines
- [00:00]
A
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
- [00:08]
B
Planning a Summer Getaway? The App Store has everything you need to elevate your travels and outdoor experiences. Start with ChatGPT to plan the perfect itinerary, from destination recommendations to unique activities. Learn the local lingo with Duolingo and organize your trip with Tripsy, your all in one travel planner for nature lovers. AllTrails is your personal guide to hikes and secret spots. Impress your friends with Night sky by identifying constellations and track every step of your adventure. With Strava, Turn your journey into a cinematic story with relief because that epic mountain view deserves a soundtrack. And for those long flights or spotty connections, don't worry. Download offline games like Farm Heroes, Saga, Wordscapes, or Retro bowl before you go from planning to exploring. The App Store has apps and games to make your summer unforgettable. Download them today and let the adventures begin. At Energy Trust of Oregon, we understand that energy isn't just what happens when you flip a switch, it's what happens afterwards. It's a home that can provide both shelter and peace of mind. It's a business that can run more efficiently and keep their dream alive. And it's communities that can thrive today and flourish tomorrow. That's energy. And that's why we partner with local utility companies to help you save energy and lower costs. For cash incentives and resources that can help power your life, visit energytrust.org.
- [01:39]
A
Do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The rest of Home Birth's Morning Sickness this is the big Red radio and then I saw that it is Slash's birthday from Guns n Roses. Interesting fact about Guns n Roses I learned just last night watching a Bob Newhart special. Bob Newhart had the record for a an album that is at number one that was replaced by the very same artist's number two album. So he had Button down man and Return of Button down man as number one and number two. Then number two took over number one and had that and then they switched again. So then number one became number one again. So he did that. The only other act to do what Bob Newhart did with the number one album in the country, Guns n Roses, which is phenomenal when they did and that was a double release because they had user illusions. One and two went first and second flip flop spots and then flip flop back so it's his birthday and then on the list also 80s and 90s supermodel Stephanie Seymour, which I talk about time travel a lot and I don't believe it can ever happen because I think if it ever did, it would be available at all times. It's just kind of a. That might be a quantum thing. Once it's invented, it always existed. So then we, it would be like the. In philosophy they tell you we've never seen anything perfect. We don't know what anything perfect actually is. Nothing exists that's perfect. Why do we have a concept of perfection and that leads to the creator conversation? We must have some sort of innate concept of that. Same with time travel. If you travel through time at any point in time, it becomes a reality to all time. So then it wouldn't just exist in the day it got invented to where he goes, it would then exist at all times. You can go anywhere. So it eventually would start showing up all over. If I had a time machine, which I don't believe in, I always say maybe I'd go back and slap baby Hitler around a little bit. I don't know. There's a few things I'd do, but one that I. For a personal use that I always think about and I. The parade of ass that walked through my house when I was a kid because of my sister was unbelievable. I've told the story several times of that girl Lisa who sold my dad a vacuum that was $1200 in 1990. Think of that. 34 years ago he spent $1200 because an 18 year old girl sold vacuums door to door and she was so hot he parted with 1200 bucks. Now keep in mind, I was once almost beaten to death for buying a $300 diamondback bike. He didn't understand that the money he gave me was going to a down on a Diamondback that he was going to end up having to pay off because I made a deal and signed papers. And then it was a percentage on what was left. I put it on layaway. $300 going to his son was like the most ridiculous birthday present of all time. $1,200 to the account of Lisa the vacuum salesman. So my mom could have no problem. An Electrolux. Because if you'd seen her, you would also know this might be the hottest girl you've ever seen in your life. Prior to that, lived in Poway, California for a little bit. About five years after this. This is my time machine moment. Five years after this event happened in my home on El Segundo Court. My sister had friends over a Couple of them were older and a couple of them were younger. Two, three years. They were just kind of a hot girl friend network. A big haired hot girl friend network in the early 80s. And I think my sister was probably about. I don't know, she had to be like 13 or 14. And a couple of her friends were 15 and 16 driving. And a couple of them were 13 and younger, but they were hot girls. And in my house there was a discussion on this big trip going to Disneyland. And I remember thinking, another parade of hot girls that aren't gonna be interested in this. So I'd walk up and be the hard man. It's good to find. It didn't. The joke didn't work anymore. It never worked anymore. So I walked up to. That's when he threw the T shirt away to the ladies. And one of the girls at the table said, you. And rubbed her hands through my then thick, sultry blonde California hair. You're gonna be so cute. Ah. No, she was wrong. But she liked me. And I was just young. You'll grow under that nose one day. Someday, the rest of you. She was so wrong. Someday. It's gonna take years, but someday your body will catch up with whatever's going on there. Now go get me some Froot Loops too. Can't stand. The girl rubbing her hand through my hair was Stephanie Seymour. Oh, I know, man. She had a friend named Erica that also used to tickle me and kiss me on the cheek. I had to act like I was gonna throw up. My dad's like, let her kiss you, you little. Jesus Christ. Gross. Quit it. I'm punching her. Erica was as hot as Stephanie Seymour. She may turn out to be Erica Christensen or whatever that one model's name was. I don't know another one. But Stephanie Seymour was in our kitchen in El Segundo Court planning a trip to Disneyland with my friend and her hot girlfriend or my sister and her hot girl friends and took me aside. I remember what I had on. Brown corduroy op shorts, socks that were blue and yellow pulled up to my knees, and a shirt the color might be like a Dr. Pepper can. It was maroon. It was. I remember that I had it on because I went and stared in the bathroom and any logo on it or anything on the shirt. The shirt was a Zog Sex Wax. Yes. It had like a sunset kind of thing going on. Probably a wolf howling at the sun. It didn't make any sense. Oh, look, he's special. He's. But I remember the outfit. It had like a I dressed like him, full on. It was airbrushed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Might have been a Mexican at the beach made it for me. But I remember going to the bathroom and looking in there going, I'm never not wearing this. Evidently, this is the cutest I can be. I am adorable. That was a go to outfit for a while. So if I heard that the hot girl parade was coming over again, and I had a thing for Stephanie Seymour, not knowing that Stephanie Seymour she wasn't. Yet she went to Twin Peaks Junior High. Poway High School, right there in my hood, coming to the house, playing. Now, I don't think she liked my sister because as we've all come to learn from me, that bitch is hard to like. But eventually they had a falling out. Like most girls, she rubbed her hands through my hair and said, you're gonna be so cute. And I just melted. Then her friend Erica, equally as hot. Tickles, Tickles. The cute little blonde boy starts kissing his giant ass nose. Which I was a killer. Fast forward. About three months later, Stephanie's not on the trip to Disneyland. Nobody knows why I didn't get to go on this, the hot girl trip. I don't think my sister went either. And because she had to go to Paris for something. So she took that poem you wrote her about November rain. Yes. And yeah. Yep. I wrote a few of them for her. And I had a guitar solo all planned out. If I had a time machine, I'd go back there and I'd stick my tongue in her mouth, knowing what I know now, I would get after that. Yeah, that's. That's big time supermodeling. But I'm an. Yeah, we didn't know that. Axl Rose's wife. And it was just maybe once or twice she came to the house again. My sister being. I'm pretty sure all of those girls were, like, just using her house as a meeting point. And they're like, we gotta get rid of this one. They might have been there for me. She liked me. And I remember not knowing that that was Stephanie Seymour and then hearing little stories later, as you know. You remember that was Stephanie that came out. That was who that hot girl was. Stephanie Seymour. Yup. So happy birthday, Stephanie. And you. You rubbed all my hair off, by the way. Something toxic in those supermodel hands that make her go bald. But Holmberg's morning sickness. Hey, Byron, I was looking@mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible. Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's stock and ready to ship. Wait, there's no back orders? Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up. Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmpguns.com man, she was hot. So I found out that Stephanie Seymour was that Stephanie Seymour when she married Axl Rose. That's what my sister said. Do you remember her? No. That was the girl in the kitchen. She used to come by the house in San Diego. She was a friend of mine. I'm like, wait a sec. And I still remember. And the other time that I thought she was coming over, I immediately went and put that outfit back on. The wolf howling at the sun. You didn't burn that? I mean, Jesus Christ. Oh, that's. You get a compliment in that you're wearing that shirt. And that was the dumb me. It's like if I were the exact same. She didn't like it. You don't think she's gonna think I'm filthy and only have one shirt? Yeah, of course. Blue and yellow tube socks up to the knees, which was a go to for me. The brown corduroys and this maroonish Dr. Pepper can colored. I would have been in my anchor and crab shirt. Oh, yeah. That probably would have pulled some ass. She would have been for sure thinking I was retarded. If you were my friend there, and this is my friend Brady. Oh, they travel in packs. What are you talking about? She's hot. Yeah, she is. You're so strong. Yeah. He picked up a Volkswagen. I do also remember the guy that lived next door to us on El Segundo Court. Had a collection of Datsun 240 z's. Sweet. And then the 260s and 280s came out and he got. The 280s was the last thing I saw. I think it was brand new when they came out, when he got. But the 240s and 260 had like six of them. And he was outside washing his car, 1981 style, with his shirt off and a pair of jean shorts and the hair feathered back. Oh, yeah. The hot girl brigade. His name was Jeff. The hot girl brigade went out and Saw Jeff washing that 280Z and they're like, oh, he's got me. And I'm pretty sure Stephanie squirted for that guy. I'm watching my Diamondback bike over here. No, I didn't have the Diamondback. Then I had a Sears and Roebuck banana handle. Nice. Like 470. Not nice. The ridicule of all children of the area. That's when I learned what Redline and Diamondbacks were. Sean Orr and Tony Richards had Diamondbacks and Redlines. And I'd come, come strolling up on my Sears and Roebuck. And you want to know what else was cool about my dad since we're after it and a time machine to change everything. He's like, I'm crying. I'm like, I got the gayest bike in this. In the neighborhood. Yeah, well, seems fitting. No, I need to change it up. Like they have snake belly tires on their bikes. I've got this Sears and Roebuck, you know, electric blue banana seat with the ape hanger handlebars and tassels and a bell. And I was the worst basket up front. Might as well. Real cool dirt bikes. And so my dad thinking, yeah, the boy does need to cool it up a little bit, goes out and puts two light blue snake belly tires on this awful Sears bike. And I go rolling up to the boy's house. Like I. Like I've made changes and they made fun of me. It was endless because it was now it was gay and stupid. Oh, I got the car beat out of me. So. Time machine. Happy birthday, Stephanie Seymour. I hate it when it's your birthday because I get reminded that and little things start to kind of come back up. I remember we had that wallpaper in that bathroom that was like old 1920s red sort of. It had a cushy. The velvety type. Yeah. And it was like a 1920s girl. It's like being a Durant hat. Yes. Very, very similar bathroom. And I remember standing in that bathroom, looking in the mirror in that shirt and it wasn't a wolf. Helen at the sun. It was just a big sunset. Like a multi color. Like a surf shirt. Yeah, kind of a surf. I was going for the San Diego thing. Yeah, it was very popular. It was very spicoli ish. And man, oh man, just staring in that mirror going, this is it. This is the best day. This is the best day a boy can have. It's the hottest girl I've ever seen. And she's like six years older than me. You got this figured out, son. Yeah, you got the look. And I probably sang a song. You got the look. You are the man. And then. And then I turned into this. Not far out here. She's four years. Just four years? Yeah. Oh, was she only four years? So she's my sister's age. Exactly. Did you pull a Brad from Fast Times and just sit there in the bathroom? Just. Anybody effing knock anymore? I wasn't beaten off yet, but I was getting close. Man, oh man, that should have started you. Stephanie Seymour, man. I'm sure I had a hairless direction, looked down at that thing and went, wow, look who came to play that. I didn't know what to do with it. Go away. Yep. So if I had a time machine, I'd go back to that. Hitler would be fine. I'd never get rid of Pol Pot. I would take no responsibility for the earth and making it better. I'd go back and I would. I'd take a chance on Stephanie Seymour. I'd at least grab a boob. Which she didn't have, by the way. She was so tall, lanky, longer. I blew it. Not like I had a. Could you imagine though, how different life might have been if I'd have stuck around there and like made a move? I had no game. I had no 8 year old game. But she was only like 13. If I was only 8. And then on our way to Paris, months later. Yeah, she had to go to Paris. And then whoever she was dating, if I remember. Oh yeah, some 30 year old dude, it says some Jeff from next door with his 280Z. But she came back and went to high school. I remember she had dance stuff. That's what I do remember about her. She was. She had. I don't know if it was ballet or something. She had like recitals and people paid attendance. Like the news knew about her before we left. The news knew this girl like for some reason, like she was a local. Something like she was doing like JCPenney ads when she was 8. God, she was hot. Anyway, sorry, I didn't. Did I just. Was that all on the air? I thought we were just chatting. Sorry about that. Oh, I was gonna do a Sebastian man of Scalco. We'll just give tickets away to the eighth caller while I sit here. I'm gonna go toss one. Reminiscent. Now the only hair she can go through is the hair I didn't have then. Because where I was bald when she touched my hair, I now have hair. And where I had hair, I have none. You know, whose fingers she could Run through on the hair. Doug Hopkins. Oh, yeah, I don't think that's accurate. She might have touched the back and cursed. Involved there. God damn it. I gotta do. I gotta go see Katrina. I gotta go talk to her about something. So close. God, I felt I was on top. Why do I want a time machine? Yeah, can you give me some EDMR stuff? Like, I need to do the vibrating padd and go back in time here for a second. Ah, top of the world, Brett. That's where I was and I didn't even know it. And then years later, I recognized. Was told during the video. That was the girl in the kitchen. She used to think you were really cute. I'm like, oh, pull my butthole out and throw. I gotta go take a nap. I gotta lay down for a bit. And then I. Eight years later, I dig through my old clothes and put that really tight shirt back on and some OP shorts and pull some socks up to my knees and throw one down in honor of Stephanie. Anyway, he was in my kitchen. You should wear that for your birthday this Friday. Find that outfit? Yes. OP shorts, the socks. Well, what if I still look really hot? Well, let's see. Well, let's find out. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna order up some op shorts. They make those in 34. I'll look. Yeah, find me a pair of 34 op shorts, some blue and yellow tube socks. I had a pair. By the way, I also had a pair of red Skips tennis shoes. I don't know. You remember Skips? They were the worst. I think they were Tom McCann's. Like, they were bad Zips or Skips. Skips was Zips. The older version of the. I mean, the Skips are the older version of what? Like, Zips were like, kids shoes. Skips were kids shoes. Yeah, they were cheap, dad Kids shoes. Bought nice Adidas for himself. I got Skips gonna outgrow them in a couple weeks anyway. Probably get gay all over him. All right, I get it. It's out of control now.
- [18:53]
B
Wherever you go, whatever they get into, from chill time to everyday adventures, protect.
- [19:03]
A
Your dog from parasites with Cridellio Guattro.
- [19:06]
B
For full safety information, side effects and warnings, visit cordelioquatrolabel.com consult your vet or call 1-888-545-5973.
- [19:15]
A
Ask your vet for Cordelio Cuatro and visit quattrodog.com.