
Loading summary
Byron
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Michael
This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. This fourth of July, as we celebrate freedom and the birth of our nation, ask yourself, are you truly free if past convictions are still holding you or a loved one back? It's time to reclaim independence. At Restore My Civil Rights, our attorney helps Americans like you reclaim what was lost. I did it. And so can you. To fight for your rights, visit restoremycivilrights.com or call 855 GUN RIGHTS and book a free consultation today.
Byron
Hey, Byron. I was looking@mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.
Toledo
Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.
Byron
Wait, there's no backorders?
Toledo
Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.
Byron
Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmpguns.com.
Brett
Make you laugh until you peel they might make you come undone make your cock rise with the sun we'd like to welcome you to this morning's show with John Brett and Brady and big dick Toledo they call us hobs but we are not worth idols to nowhere they speak on controversy who's bobbing? Johnny snob they think dua lipa's great for the faint of heart they're not Homeberg's morning sickness you gotta get up to hear it Makes them laugh makes em in all seriousness and fun make your cockris with the sun we'd like to introduce our main host they say he looks like Squidward with that big huge nose Ha ha ha but that's a prereq they own the mornings airing over 20 years like a blue pill they're still going. Brady comes in shorts to report the news he knows but you can't eat at Porkopolis because it closed Homework's morning s gotta get up to hear it make you laugh until you spiel wipe you off when they are done make your cockri with the sun Homework's morning sickness you gotta tune in and listen Tap that up yet. Don't get screwed in the end. All in good fun. Big red radio's got you, son.
John
There you go. That is miles to nowhere. It is Katie and the hots. We all know that. Once I got my button broken. Huh?
Byron
Nothing ever gets fixed.
John
It'll never fix it. I don't think it's fixed.
Brady
This weekend, maybe.
John
Yeah, I think it might be. Oh, no, it's not responding. It's the. This. I have to move it over here anyway. Yeah, Interview we'll figure out. I guess one of the guys on vacation wanted to watch. They wanted to cuck the experiment and then they forgot to talk.
Byron
That was the funniest part.
John
Yeah, I can't fix that until Dave comes back. He's on vacation. Like, oh, does he. Is he the only one who knows how? No, he just likes to watch that. Can't you videotape it for him and we can.
Byron
We can livestream that.
John
I'll wait another couple weeks to get some equipment fixed so dudes can watch each other engineer. Creepy freaking weird. People want to send you pictures of their side squish if you're interested. Well, we'll have. They want to. They have like a scoring system that they're interested in. Brett Vess scoring system and just basically say, william Levinson has sent over what he considers to be a potential side squish. Brett, what do you think of this picture? The out. Okay. No, don't do it, William. Don't do it. I'll send it. How about this one here? She's a slump buster and he thinks maybe he can get away with a few without her telling. What do you think he should do here, Brett? Oh, the man's trying to eat. So if you want to send your side squish pictures to Brett to see if she's worth half, you get response. Yeah, Dolores emails and says, hi, boys. Got in the car. First thing I heard this morning was we're putting up Hitler posters. Did I miss something? Well, evidently our sales staff thinks that Hitler's a good motivator for better sales in the summer. The slump buster thing, all those posters downstairs, I may have ruined that by telling them what it was and having a predator. And again, did you notice that the predator with the ice cream in the poster that she put up also, little mustache. It's predatory. He's got his ice cream. He's on the beach. He's looking around for a big girl to feed ice cream to slump busting in the summertime. And then for some reason, a whole bunch of, like, weird things are downstairs that say, hello, Summer. Have you seen those?
Dave
No.
John
Loads of things down there. They just turn a corner and it's in like. Like, there's just so many posters. Oh, there's a lot now, but there's one that just is on the wall that looks like it should say just Married. And it should be hanging off the back of a car, but it says, hello, Summer.
Dave
You gotta check it out. And then right next to that motivational poster's next.
John
Well, right next to that is Hitler pointing to a sign that says believe. And that's. Boy, we're getting serious with our sales staff.
Byron
So, like, American History X teenage room down there. I don't know all the posters.
John
I have not taken a look.
Dave
Why'd they put a curb down there?
John
And they do have TVs now with American History X running that scene with the curb.
Susan
Mr. Moynihan, step into my office, please.
Dave
That's what the bench is out front.
Susan
Let's take a look at some of your.
John
Yes.
Susan
Let's go out to Alice. Let's go out to. Welcome to Alice in Chains, our friendly motivational bench.
Byron
Some bench stomping.
Susan
So it looks like your budgets are down 10%, Moynihan.
John
I'm trying.
Susan
Yes, you're suddenly trying. But this is the noise I hear when you try. So what are you going to do about it, Moynihan? Believe, perhaps. Have you not seen our posters? Shouldn't you believe? Cell staff, do you believe? That's what I thought. Why don't you believe? Steve Moynihan, Cell staff, do you like my posters? Thank you. Are we out searching for slump busters? Are we all oblivious to the meanings of the Urban dictionary? Y' all be in my office if you need me, being Susan.
John
Ami, we need more posters.
Susan
Get me one of a town, a big bustling city, perhaps even Phoenix's skyline. Ami, are you listening? And I want above that town, dollar signs everywhere in the form of a mushroom.
Byron
My shit is really taking shape over there.
Susan
We have to motivate these people. If Hitler posters won't do it. Vatville.
John
Oh, Christ, am I in trouble.
Byron
Well, go for the savior there.
John
Yeah. You know what I'm looking for? I gotta search around the earners.
Dave
Jill is the desert fox. She goes out there and really, the.
Susan
Nicknames are a little touchy. Brady, let's not go crazy and always remember who we are selling for.
John
In case you're angry. Hitler posters I walk into this morning. What happened?
Byron
Apparently somebody just sent this over. This is the CEO's wife.
John
That's the guy that was at the Coldplay show. That's his wife. Yeah, yeah. But you see what's wrong with her.
Byron
Well, yeah, the three kids.
John
You see what's wrong with her?
Byron
It's like a television commercial, man.
John
She's orbited by her tds. Oh, that's a much prettier lady. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, that's something. Whoops. Those kids have big heads, though. I will say that. Toledo. She got three Toledo babies. But she's keeping it together. Yes, she is. He might have gotten. There might have been some surrogates involved there. I don't think that gave birth to three.
Byron
No giant head to babies like that. Or maybe that's the kids from his previous marriage. And this is it could be the mulligan.
John
Let's hope. Yeah, let's hope. Maybe she's the old HR lady.
Byron
Yeah.
John
That's a great story. It is just flat out great. Anyway, sorry to go on about our Hitler posters, but it's off putting. When you walk into work and you try to. You know, when my job is to make sure you don't step over the lines too much and sales is allowed to hang pictures of Tafira, it makes you kind of wonder.
Byron
Cody wants Adolf Susan in the squares today.
John
Adolph. Okay, Adolf Susan. I don't even. I'm putting Susan in this. I don't know if she's responsible for the posters, but I have to imagine because it's her department that, you know, the buck stops there. There's Hitler posters and she doesn't know about it. That's just her having her eye off the ball.
Susan
We have a problem in the mornings over at the Red station. The boy, he keeps bringing up that my posters are not motivational. Maybe he needs a little fire lit under his bottom.
John
Ah, the sales staff agrees. Remember how excited she was when the police were here? When the Gestapo was outside? Yes. She was the one telling me that she can sexually harass anybody she wants. Cause it's her turn. Literally, what she said to me, I didn't go to HR. She was busy having sex with the CEO. That's how HRs work. I don't know what's going on in the world. People are emailing me like crazy about. Oh, by the way, just popped in my head. Did you see that? The dude who leapt from space died in a hangar. Fearless Felix. One of the most paragliding. Yeah. Unreal. One of the most amazing things I've seen as a human being in my time on this. Exactly, people. Well, no, he didn't. He liked jumping from a lot higher than paragliding.
Byron
Well, I mean, you know, paragliding, when.
Dave
He did the jump off the arm of.
John
Yeah.
Dave
Jesus in Brazil.
John
Leaping off that. Yeah. The redemption statues.
Dave
The other stuff that he's done.
John
The Redeemer. Yeah, he. He loved leaping off of things. Dying in a paraglider is like, you know, an Evil Knievel dying on a.
Dave
Schwinn that has been on a skateboard to this.
John
I have never seen something more amazing than a man in outer space without a ship jumping back here. I know he wasn't crazy out there, but he was out there, and he had to re. Enter the atmosphere. Remember all that?
Dave
He either frostbite or. What happened to his hand? He had a leak or a.
John
No, I think he had a seal.
Dave
Frostbite froze the fingers.
John
Well, if he had a hole in his gloves coming back cold up there through atmosphere. If he went through the atmosphere of the hole.
Dave
He didn't go through the atmosphere.
John
He did. He jumped out from outer space.
Dave
But I remember there was some, like, involved with Frost.
John
I don't know. Well, he might have froze up, but it wouldn't. If he had a hole in his glove, we wouldn't be talking about Felix dying on a paraglider. But, yeah, that. That, to me, was the most amazing thing I've ever watched on tv. I think it happened while we were in the room. We're like, let's watch this. And there he was, just kind of hovering around in space for a second. You're like, that's just weird to look at. And I don't know how you have the courage to do that. I. I'm 52 years old, soon to be 53 in a week. And I stood up on a ladder three. Three rungs up the other day to hang something on the. Putting nails in the wall to get to the ceiling where I had to hang these things.
Dave
Yeah.
John
And I turned around. I was just gonna bounce off. There ain't no bouncing off from three rungs up anymore. That's scary. I was horrified. You ever stand on a chair at this age? It's nightmarish. Get up on your chair right now and think about jumping off this dude. This dude was in space. And he goes, I'll do it. Nope. And he made it. Then he hops in a paraglider. He's like, this is nothing. I don't even have to be careful. And he died.
Dave
Quick spin.
Byron
John Denver's.
John
Yep. Yeah. Don't take that thing out for a spin. Stupid. What can happen? I jump from space. I can make it hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? Holmberg's morning sickness, paragliding in Italy. You know, eventually, you dick around with enough of that stuff, you're gonna end up dead. But man, it's insane. So, yeah, that guy died. That was. That's tough to watch. It's still. And. And in the day and age where we're not impressed with anything, nothing impresses us as a society, you know, know at all. Everything that gets invented is like, yeah, well, sure, I've seen that. And it's because. And I, Neil Degrasse Tyson taught me this. The reason no one's impressed with anything anymore at all is science fiction movies and cartoons. We've been exposed to the Jetsons. We've been exposed to science. Everything that we, we see come to reality, we've already seen, we expect. Isn't that it is ridiculous. It isn't that it's an invention. People back in the day when light bulbs were invented didn't see them in science fiction book or, you know, whatever, on cave walls or whatever the hell they'd been reading up to that point. And then Edison comes in and he goes, look. And he puts this piece of cardboard in a glass ball and he lights it on fire. And you're like, you got light now. It's like, that's the devil's work. I'm not doing. Of course they were impressed back then. The first time they ever saw a light bulb was the first time they ever saw a light bulb. Never even a concept of it before. No one ever talked like, you know what they should do is have these glass balls with fire inside them so we don't have to light our Christmas trees with candles. It's incredible. But this, like, we're not impressed by anything. This dude went into space in the last decade as a human body and just jumped off. And people are like, yeah, that'll happen. No, it won't. So then he dies in a paragliding. Anyway, I understand a slump buster. A slump buster. Question. Hey, Brett, it's to you.
Byron
Shocking.
John
I understand a slump buster being some hog if the bone to feel better, but do women have them? And if a woman has a slump buster, is it somebody like Toledo? Yeah, you get it. You're following. Women don't need slump busters. Men are the ones who get into sex slumps. Women choose to be in sex slump. A woman can have sex anytime she wants, which is why the Existence of a slump buster is reality is because even the grossest ones, if they say, I want to have sex with you can have sex with somebody eventually. Just have to throw the odds out. We as men can't wander into bars going, well, tonight's my night. I'm just going to ask a lady to have sex with me in the bathroom. That happens to a guy. You know, a lot of us would be like, I can't do that. I would, but you don't understand. Like, I'm the CEO of a company. My wife's right over there. But this is intriguing. And then she'd be like, point me out to a single friend. I'm like, there's Brady. He'll do it. And even if a woman decides she's going to go into a bar and have sex, she's going to have sex that night.
Byron
Oh, yeah.
John
If a man goes into a bar and decides he's going to have sex, the odds are exactly the same. They're exactly the same as a guy who decides he is not going down.
Byron
Now they're sending me this.
John
What's that?
Byron
Girl from work I want to bang. I need your thoughts. I like blondes and she's a looker, but not sure I want to lose the family for a pink street picture.
John
Of Brady with blonde hair drawn on his head with a pink streak. What?
Byron
I'm talking about boys.
John
Well, if you did work with that, that's your slump buster.
Byron
Oh, man.
John
And she is a grateful woman. Women don't need slump busters. Women don't get into slumps because they. You. You know how horribly ugly you have to be as a woman to be in a slump and not want to be in one.
Byron
Just go to any bar at 145. You're good.
John
Sit down.
Byron
Yeah.
Dave
It's the opposite of the man that walks in and wants to pick up a woman and they just come to him. The 1%.
John
It's. It's. Whoa. It's. If 1% is a massive number, it's 0.0004% of guys who can just walk in and go, sex. And then have women go, okay, women. Totally different. If you're not having sex and you're in a slump as a woman, it's because your standards are too high or you stink. Those are the only two things that'll stop. And even then go to Casino Arizona and walk around there at one and just lean over to a guy who smells a little funny and just goes, do you want to have sex? He'll be like, you bet, baby. And he'll get past your. Women don't need slump busters. That's not a thing for them. Just absolutely not a thing for them. But I do like the big news yesterday with all this other stuff going on.
Brady
We're putting sugar back in Coke, baby.
John
Trump threw all the Epstein stuff and all the Iran and nukes and all this. Ukraine is like, no, his big move yesterday was, let's get some real sugar back in Coke. And Coca Cola's like, think about it.
Brady
I talked to some executives at Coca.
Dave
Cola, talked them into it.
Brady
I talked them into. Brady, I don't know if you read the CEO's letter from Coca Cola. He didn't really say what I wanted him to say. He just said, we're looking into it. But I said, no, it's better this way. Gotta have sugar in the Coke. Get it back in there.
Byron
Yeah, I'm with him on that.
John
So am I. That's one of the best presidential moves I've ever heard. He likes Coke, I like, but put sugar back in it. Did you know, and I read this yesterday. I did not know this when Coca Cola switched to New Coke back in the 80s. Remember that debacle?
Dave
Yeah.
John
And it turned out to be a giant marketing move, which was really smart. It was to reset the entire factory to stop using sugar and use high fructose corn syrup.
Byron
Oh, I didn't know that.
John
So they couldn't do it right away. So to get the original formula back cheaper, they killed it, gave us something disgusting, and so drink this and see if it's better. And we're like, oh, yuck, bring back it. Made us forget what real Coke tasted like, and then gave us something real darn close.
Dave
So what about the. I mean, because they were saying, you know, they did a market survey, they did a taste test, and they rolled this one out, and people were like.
John
Oh, yeah, we like this. It was a complete lie.
Dave
Well, it was a big mistake.
John
It wasn't a mistake. It was the. It was the most brilliant marketing move in the history of marketing. It turns out to be the smartest thing that's ever been done. Take away something everyone loves, replace it.
Dave
A one year blip.
John
Three months where it moved in all. It was three months, give them something they hate. And by the way, New Coke sold out of the box. It was an insane win. Everybody had to taste it. Everyone bought a six. Huge win. Then that number starts to fall. People like, we're not gonna keep buying this. They're like, all right, we'll Bring back the old one. It was 90 days. They didn't lose anything. They gained, knew exactly what was coming. And then reintroduced original formula. Although it wasn't original formula. It was high fructose corn syrup. Now it was a brand new thing that was replacing the sugar.
Byron
What was Crystal Pepsi's excuse?
John
Because that was just. That was Crystal Pepsi having some bad executives.
Dave
They still market it as one of.
John
The worst market what? New Coke? Yeah. It's because if it was real, that's just dumb people trying to act like that. The smart person would recognize, oh, what an incredible move. Because they never intended to leave New Coke to. To us. They always were going to bring back the other ones. Do you remember the craze over New Coke Classic? But New Coke came out though. When New Coke came, everybody had it. And you didn't just try one, you drank a few going, do I like this? Is this okay? Everybody was buying New Coke. Coke sat back laughing at us with their puppet strings just running around. What a mistake. No, they sit and snicker. It's a marketing gentleman genius. Good God. Come on, man. You can't even walk.
Dave
He looks for it.
Michael
You can't.
John
No, he hears it.
Susan
I, I didn't even know.
John
That's enough of you. He can't even walk down the candy aisle. Yeah. Dumb people call that a bad marketing move. Smart people realize it was a long play and everybody thinks it was for. It was 90 days. 90 days. Didn't even have time to lose money. 90 days when the Coke Classic came back and then everybody went out and rushed out and bought Coke Classic.
Dave
I always heard it was like a. A year because they didn't roll it out there.
John
Oh, New Coke stuck around.
Byron
Yeah. They had both for a while, didn't they?
John
Yeah. They didn't get rid of New Coke one.
Dave
Sure. How soon they brought back Classic Coke.
John
Like a summer. It was like a summer. It was so fast. And we all feel like we had our lives stripped out from under us and they just manipulated us like toys. And then brought back the Coke Classic with hype. Trust me, I know about soda pop. And course it's coursing through my veins more than blood. Wow.
Byron
Yeah, it was. It was brought out in 85.
John
Yep.
Byron
And discontinued in 2002.
John
They kept running I Coke for a long time. I didn't know that you couldn't get it.
Dave
When did they bring back Classic Coke?
John
That's what I was. It wasn't. Wasn't I. I would imagine it's a summer, maybe a little bit into Fall. It wasn't long at all. And we felt like it was forever. What's happening happen? They knew. They put out a product they knew that was inferior to the one we loved. And they.
Byron
They took it from 79 days.
John
Two and a half months, man. And everybody, if you think about it, if you lived through that, you thought it was like, they killed us, they took away our soda forever. It was all a plan. That's crazy. Was all a plan.
Byron
Never thought that.
John
And it was a great plan.
Dave
So what did they change on the. So the new Coke kept the. Well, it all went to the high for new.
John
New Coke was a mess. New Coke was just a formula. They knew it was probably. It was a soda that they call something else. And like, you know what we could do? Let's make it taste a little like Coke, but it's not good. They duped us and they duped us and they said just, let's just take Coke away. Pepsi is. They did it just to ram it in Pepsi's ass too. Pepsi's like, we're catching you. We're right on your heels. And they're doing that Pepsi challenge everywhere and going on TV saying everybody loves the flavor. If they made Coke taste more like Pepsi and made you realize you love Coke, you're being dicks. You love Coke. And then they took it away like, all right, you want to say Pepsi's better, we'll bring you a Pepsi like product. And Pepsi celebrated. They blinked.
Byron
See on their Wikipedia page they say it's sweeter than Pepsi and Coke, the new one.
John
And was awful.
Byron
And taste testers in the South, Southeast were Coke's based. Preferred new Coke.
John
They said love diabetes in the South. Yeah, they loved it. Of course those people like add sugar to Coke. It was a scam.
Byron
I didn't know that.
John
It was a scam to put high fructose corn syrup into the product and then say, this is the way it is from now on. That was the flip over from. They had. They had to kill Coke. They couldn't just take it off the shelves.
Dave
But I was wondering before that was the Coke cane sugar.
John
It was sugar. It wasn't. It wasn't like the Mexican high end sugar. It was traditional real sugar sugar. And then high fructose corn syrup was then, then. And occasionally they would have high fructose corn syrup and sodas. But that was when they said, no more sugar in any of it. It's all this cheaper, easier stuff to build and manufactured it from there on. And we sat back, I've Heard thanks.
Dave
For bringing back the levels of the. The corn syrup, too. Like lower grades.
John
Well, that's what. Yeah, you can buy a higher grade creative in mass. It's dirt cheap. Sugar takes. You gotta grow my corn just flies in enough. Corn's easy. It's crazy. Crazy story. It's a crazy manipulation. Marketing over the people and how we sit back and they want us to think what a terrible mistake that was. All just a well thought out and incredibly well executed plan. Incredibly. But Donald, yesterday.
Brady
You know what they should do? Put coke back to where it was. Let's make coke great again. Put sugar back in that bitch, and I'm gonna suck it down.
Dave
What about the Epstein files?
Brady
They don't exist, but we'll release them tomorrow. I'm tired of hearing about it.
John
Holmberg's morning sickness.
Toledo
Hear the words you say sometimes?
John
I mean, who talks like that? 98k u p d. Holmberg's morning sickness. He got mad, said it wasn't a thing. It's not even real.
Brady
It's a democratic scam. No, I looked at the list. I saw the list, Brett. I looked at the list. There isn't a list. I looked at it.
John
I'm like, this isn't a list.
Brady
Schindler knows lists. I had Liam Neeson come. He looked, he said, this isn't a list. I said, I agree. We threw it away. But now we're going to release the not a list list.
John
And I think it's nothing. Now they're trying to get him for a letter he wrote to Epstein back in the 90s where he drew a dirty picture.
Dave
Wall Street Journal. This was, like, while he was in jail.
John
No, this was in 1997.
Dave
Because I heard another one that was. Okay.
John
Yeah. His 50th bir. Donald Drew him a picture of a naked lady and then scribbled his name, Donald, where the pubes go. And wrote, may every day be another wonderful secret.
Dave
And he came out fake.
John
Yeah. And it may be because actually there's people, but you ain't. Look, Democrats need to back off of this letter. He ain't getting down for this. If, If. If you want to try to attack him for this. This is a dude who actually survived a court hearing where he was found guilty of sexual assault. You think a letter where he drew a lady on its back. Don't worry about it.
Brady
I'm getting away with that. That' Remember when I was grabbing people by the. I mean, I got. I was elected president because of that. Then later convicted of sexual assault. What did they Do Elected me president again. It's amazing.
Byron
I think you're right, though. You don't want to pull that string on the sweater because it doesn't matter what side you're on, everybody's going down.
John
There's a reason why the Biden camp had access to all this stuff for four years and didn't touch it.
Byron
Yeah.
John
It takes everything. But I am interested in it. I want to see that letter. I want to see Donald's name when he signed his name, because he's got the big squiggly signature and he made it. Some lady's pubes.
Brady
I've never drawn a naked lady in my life.
John
I. I do not believe that at all.
Brady
When he said that I don't draw ladies. That's weird. I don't do that. That wasn't me. Fake letter.
Byron
Fake big D Trump.
John
Yeah. I have a feeling you've drawn a couple naked ladies in your life. I have not. Good. But I have.
Brady
Never done it. I never have to draw them. They just show up. If I would have drawn it, there would have been a yellow crayon. It would have been pissing on my name. It would have been great. Jeffrey would have loved that. Jeffrey would have loved that. Jeffrey died doing what he loved, being well hung and exposed to the masses. It was a thing.
John
And in 19. What was it? It was 2002 when he wrote this letter. The guy didn't go to jail or even get arrested for anything until 2006. And he was the darling of the New York social scene at the time.
Byron
So it was ran with everyone.
John
Everybody loved old Jeffrey and knew he had some stuff. Same with Harvey Weinstead. We all know he's a little bit weird, but he's a money machine. So let's keep him alive until we can.
Brady
Let's put that coke there. Let's fix that.
John
What's going on in Iran?
Brady
I don't know. Do they have sugar in their coke in Iran?
John
That's.
Brady
That's one thing Iran has over. Over us.
John
But it was. That's how greedy and weird we are as a society is that we've got all this stuff going on and I'm on one side or the other of all of it. But when he said, let's put real sugar back in Coke, I'm like, yeah, that's a great idea. I think that's a good idea. I don't drink regular Coke, but I might have a sip or two here and there. If there's real sugar in it.
Dave
Buy that case. Mexican. Go Get.
John
People bring you the bottles of Mexican coke. It's. I don't like opening them. Like, ooh, that's precious gold. I'm gonna keep that.
Byron
It's like the light comes out.
John
Yeah. I'm not messing with that.
Dave
And then they all went through. I don't know if they still do it, but both Pepsi and. I mean Pepsi started to roll out with their products with cane sugar.
Brady
Yeah.
Byron
They throw back Pepsi.
Dave
Did they stop? Yeah, it's expensive with Mountain Dew.
Byron
I think it's, like a seasonal thing. I think they put it out every so often.
John
If you do that, you're. And you're not making sales. You're. It's expensive. Expensive.
Byron
Brought back the hillbilly, too.
John
Yep. Yeah, the toothless hillbilly. We added sugar. You're gonna look like this, John.
Byron
Old coke, new coke, who gives an S? The only coke worth talking about comes from Colombia.
John
All right. It's a coke addicting thank you to the cocaine addicts that listen. 7, 19. You've been up for four days. Good for you.
Brady
Let's put coke back and cook. You know, originally the original recipe, if you want to be, you know, stick had actual cocaine in it. Coca. The leaf. Epic cocaine.
Byron
He'd fix the tariffs there.
Brady
Let's make. Let's go crazy and make coke. Amazing. I had a Coke. It's gonna keep me up all night. I'm snorting my soda.
John
Yeah.
Dave
So it's good for his veins.
Brady
And now my swollen veins. I'm all puffy bread. He got swelly veins, but it's totally normal.
Byron
Ryan wants to. He's starting a new motivational poster company. Wants to know if KUPD be interested in buying this one.
John
1. It's a picture of Ed Norton stomping out a person curbside from American History X with the word persuasiveness over the top. Yeah, that's how you get somebody to buy. You want to buy?
Susan
K. Peny.
John
You want to buy? You want to buy, huh? You like. You like buying stuff? Oh, what do you mean, no? Oh, whoa. I think you're hungry for a buy over here. Did you like to do it? As Susan so, Jill, did you persuade.
Susan
The client who said no?
John
Susan, I was.
Susan
Did you not see the Hitler poster on your way out?
John
Did you not believe?
Dave
I'll show you how to persuade.
John
I had a bad night with my.
Susan
Husband last night, and I. I guess I wasn't as confident as I could be. So you're telling me you've brought your home to work, and it has gotten in the way. Does your husband need to be rectified?
John
No, no, please don't.
Susan
Does Andy need to be taught a lesson? Look at the posters on the way out the door. Isn't that what we do? Sell stuff? We take a look at the posters, we go to the client, we persuade them that the best jobs that they can possibly get are through us here all day.
John
Z 9003.3.
Susan
Then we persuade.
Dave
There's no sleeping. There's all those bulls with the pills in the.
John
Take your baby.
Susan
Have you taken your crystal methamphetamine?
John
Staff. Then we are 24 hours a day sales staff. Exactly as planned.
Byron
Moynihan.
John
Moynihan. I look at you, you make me want to puke.
Brady
Moynihan.
John
Schlobbing around the office, not believing, not persuading.
Dave
I know nothing.
Susan
Tell me, Moynihan, are you out looking for slump buster or are you slump buster?
John
You're one or the other. There is no in between. Mona.
Susan
Isn't that right? Sam Stuff.
John
I like Susan Hitler. I think that's a fun character. And she.
Byron
I would go to those sales.
John
But if she's gonna hang. Yeah, if she's gonna hang up pictures of Hitler, I'm changing her. I'm changing her. And I'll get the thing today where, you know, you can't talk about Hitler on the wall. So I gonna put him up. Well, it wasn't. That's Ted Lasso. Yeah, but he's doing the salute. You guys don't pay attention to anything and I'm the bad guy.
Dave
Just hope I don't. Walking down the hallway and you're Bogan.
John
That's that lazy Brady boy. Non believer.
Susan
Doesn't even look at the posters. John tried to show him and he said, I never even saw the poster. Isn't he disgusting? Sales staff.
Brady
I agree. Brett Presley is Italian.
John
He's on our side. One of two.
Susan
We need to hire a yellow person.
John
They tend to get on board.
Susan
Anyway.
John
Here's some tape. Jill, put your eyes back and make me feel comfortable. So anybody who doesn't believe, doesn't know how to persuade, won't be part of the sales staff of this glorious operation that we call Altac933.
Brady
That's right. Take that.
John
I'm having too much fun. Stop putting up pictures of Hitler in your office.
Byron
Our office, John. Well, that puts a new spin on alternative radio.
John
Alt lives here for now. They were so oblivious when they started kdkb, they put up billboards that said alt lives here. But I Was like, I was in on a couple of those meetings in the beginning, and I'm like, oh, this is going to be a station made directly for homosexuals. And that's fine. But when you read it and you know that I saw the billboard pop up, and I'm like, alt lives here. You guys are taking it too far. And Tripp said he didn't even recognize it as he drove. And God damn it. And why did he have to recognize that? No, that changes everything. Ooh, Alt lies here. Well, that's what they got.
Dave
It worked.
John
It worked. This is exactly who they got. What do you got on the big board of Musical Tree Tournament?
Byron
All right, Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop.
John
Of course, the boys, they're payers.
Susan
Hell, every month their bills are paid. Thank you, Josh.
Byron
Josh is one of us.
John
Josh is one of us for sure.
Byron
But Action Ride Shop, taking care of you guys, getting you out on the trail or on the streets or whatever you got a bike need. They got a bike for you. Then Pivot, Santa Cruz, Ibis. You name it, they got it. And we'll get you the gear to get on those trails. And they got two locations right now over there on power Road and McDowell, right off the PAWS trailhead. And of course, the OG right there on Gilbert Road and Southern. Actionrideshop.com Josh, the boy is going to.
John
Take care of you, okay? Ryan Howell's gone crazy.
Byron
Oh, his new poster.
John
Motivational posters. There's another one of Hitler that says, reach for the stars. You can only imagine the post, the one with one of the planes going into the Trade center just says Mondays. It was a Tuesday. Oh, my God. And then. Persuasive. Thank you, Ryan. You're wasting too much of your valuable company time on our nonsense, Ryan. But we appreciate it. All right.
Byron
On the list, a lot of it goes back to the CEO giving the dog a bone from AC dc. Pantera, the Love Shaggy. It wasn't me. Black Sabbath, Heaven and Hell, Holland Oats, Rich Girl for his. His. Well, soon to be ex wife, Ramstein in the list, Judas Priest, Turbo for our alternative station stp. But Terror, you're Caught is pretty much about where it is.
John
Incredible song. I like it. I got a thing from Kyle that took us. Scott, what's that guy's name who hosts Red Zone on NFL. And it's a picture of the CEO hugging on that lady, but where the lady is, he's put in that Scott guy from Red Zone. NFL Channel, it says, is it football season yet? Because I'm ready. Seven hours of red zone football my way. That dude hugging on people. Yeah, that's a good one there. That's the true man. Side piece is football and it's right around the corner.
Brady
Scott Hansen, Hanson.
John
That's our guy. Yeah. Let's go with a little Terror. I like that song.
Byron
Toledo's got it. I'll pull it up, though.
John
If we don't, that'll be a poster down there. Later, Terror. KTAR has outbuild us. You build feels of terror.
Susan
Unacceptable.
John
I like that. For a while there, she was just crazy sexual harassment lady. And then she puts pictures of Hitler up and we get a brand new character out of her. I love it. Oh, this is Terror. It's your. I got it right here. No, it's clean. We get. Okay, good. Okay, cool. It's 2 minutes and 13 seconds. That's what's great about Terror.
Byron
The big bosses are going to love hearing this.
John
Oh, yeah. They're going to punch us square in the face. And they'll be done in two minutes. Fight is fat. It's like a Mike Tyson fight. You're caught, Terror. It's your wake up song. It's 98, Terror's most powerful rock station. It's out of control now. 88K, you PD.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (07-18-25)
Release Date: July 18, 2025
Host/Author: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Introduction
In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, host John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo delve into a variety of engaging and controversial topics. From bizarre office decor choices to major corporate decisions influenced by political figures, the team provides humor, critical insights, and lively debates. This summary captures the key discussions, notable quotes, and the overall flow of the conversation.
1. The Hitler-Like Posters in the Sales Department
The episode kicks off with a heated discussion about the sales department's questionable choice of motivational posters. An emailer highlights that the department has been displaying posters of Ted Lasso that ominously resemble Adolf Hitler, sparking concern among employees.
Emailer's Concern:
"Got in the car. First thing I heard this morning was we're putting up Hitler posters. Did I miss something?"
— Emailer (02:46)
John Holmberg's Reaction:
"That's the guy that was at the Coldplay show. But you see what's wrong with her."
— John Holmberg (08:41)
The hosts scrutinize the inappropriateness of such imagery in a professional setting, questioning the judgment of the sales staff and the implications for workplace morale.
Insight:
The conversation underscores the importance of mindful and respectful workplace decorations, highlighting how insensitive choices can lead to discomfort and controversy among staff.
2. Defining and Handling 'Slumpbusters'
The term "slumpbuster" is examined, particularly questioning whether women experience slumps in the same way men do. The hosts debate the existence and necessity of such concepts in personal and professional contexts.
John Holmberg's Inquiry:
"I understand a slump buster being some hog if the bone to feel better, but do women have them?"
— John Holmberg (15:31)
Brett Vesely's Response:
"Women don't need slump busters. Women don't get into slumps because..."
— Brett Vesely (17:14)
Notable Quote:
"Women can have sex anytime they want, which is why the existence of a slump buster is a reality..."
— John Holmberg (16:32)
Insight:
The discussion challenges traditional notions of slumps, suggesting a gender disparity in how such periods are experienced and addressed, and advocating for a more nuanced understanding of personal challenges.
3. Major News: Trump and Coca Cola's Return to Sugar
A significant portion of the episode focuses on President Trump's announcement that Coca Cola is reinstating sugar in its soda formulas, reversing a decades-old change.
Brady Bogen on Coca Cola's Decision:
"We're putting sugar back in Coke, baby."
— Brady Bogen (18:08)
John Holmberg's Analysis:
"That's one of the best presidential moves I've ever heard. He likes Coke, I like, but put sugar back in it."
— John Holmberg (18:37)
The hosts dive into the historical context of Coca Cola's transition to high fructose corn syrup with the introduction of New Coke in the 1980s, praising Trump's strategic move as a masterstroke in marketing.
Notable Quote:
"They took away something everyone loves, replaced it, and then reintroduced the original formula with hype."
— John Holmberg (19:55)
Insight:
The team lauds the decision as a savvy reversal that capitalizes on consumer nostalgia and dissatisfaction, positioning it as a strategic win against competitors like Pepsi.
4. Extraordinary Feats and Safety Concerns: The 'Fearless Felix' Incident
The hosts recount the tragic death of Felix, a paragliding enthusiast known for his daring jumps, emphasizing the fine line between thrill-seeking and safety.
John Holmberg's Reflection:
"I have never seen something more amazing than a man in outer space without a ship jumping back here."
— John Holmberg (12:00)
Brady Bogen's Caution:
"Don't take that thing out for a spin. Stupid."
— Brady Bogen (25:18)
Notable Quote:
"If you do that, you're... you're not making sales. You're. It's expensive."
— Byron (29:56)
Insight:
The conversation highlights the allure and risks of extreme sports, drawing parallels to societal desensitization towards impressive feats due to overexposure in media.
5. Controversial Discussions: Epstein Files and Political Scandals
The episode touches upon the ongoing discourse surrounding Donald Trump and the Epstein files, with the hosts expressing skepticism about the legitimacy and motives behind certain allegations.
John Holmberg on the Epstein Letter:
"And I want to see that letter. I want to see Donald's name when he signed his name, because he's got the big squiggly signature and he made it."
— John Holmberg (27:22)
Brady Bogen's Denial:
"I'm getting away with that. Remember when I was grabbing people by the..."
— Brady Bogen (25:27)
Notable Quote:
"Fake big D Trump."
— Byron (27:43)
Insight:
The hosts express a dismissive stance towards certain political scandals, questioning their authenticity and the intentions behind publicizing them, thus reflecting a broader skepticism towards media narratives.
Conclusion
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humor, critical analysis, and candid conversations on workplace etiquette, marketing strategies, personal challenges, extreme sports safety, and political controversies. John Holmberg and his co-hosts effectively engage listeners with their dynamic discussions, providing both entertainment and thought-provoking insights. Whether dissecting the absurdity of office decor choices or applauding strategic corporate decisions influenced by presidential announcements, the show maintains a balance of levity and seriousness, making it a compelling listen for both regular followers and newcomers.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
"We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available."
— Dick Toledo (00:56)
"Women don't need slump busters. Women don't get into slumps because..."
— Brett Vesely (17:14)
"That's one of the best presidential moves I've ever heard."
— John Holmberg (18:37)
"It was the most brilliant marketing move in the history of marketing."
— John Holmberg (19:24)
"If you do that, you're... you're not making sales. You're. It's expensive."
— Byron (29:56)
"Fake big D Trump."
— Byron (27:43)
Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments to focus solely on the meaningful discussions that drive the episode's narrative.