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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. It's John Holmberg here, shilling away from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. If you're driving around with a damaged windshield, you're playing with fire. Who knows what dominoes fall just from not calling New Vision Auto Glass and getting that glass replaced? It's really easy. You can get up to $375 back just for using New Vision Auto Glass. Go to new visionautoglass.com and see what you qualify for. And of course, you'll get dinner at the Brazilian steakhouse Rodizio Grill. I couldn't mean it more when I say get your windsh shield repaired, call them now. 480-210-9090 New Vision Auto Glass. Proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health. I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focus. And now with the help of Game Day's board certified staff, I'm looking at peptide and vitamin therapies as well. In a matter of minutes at Game Day's In House lab, a licensed game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging and it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's Health locations in the valley. Take that first step now at gameday phoenix.com Prestige Billiards has everything you need for your game room from top of the line pool tables to billiard balls and everything in between. This includes game room furniture, air hockey dartboards, ping pong tables, arcade games and much more. Prestige Billiards is family owned and operated and is dedicated to providing the very best quality products and service. Prestige Billiards has five star ratings on Yelp and financing is available. Check them out at Prestige Billiards AZ.com or in person at one of their three locations in Mesa, Scottsdale and now Glendale. Prestige Billiards delivers statewide and tell him John Holberg sent you. You thought that was funny. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Yeah, there you go, Nickelback. That's right, you heard me. Nickelback. Crushing it for you right there. Not a bad thing either. Get a bad rap like the Nickelback, the guy who has the meetings in both Spanish and English I just got an email from. From. Hang on.
Dick Toledo
Someone in hr.
John Holmberg
Well, it's an office meeting here and it. Where the hell was it? Let me find it. Hang on. Can't quite find it.
Dick Toledo
Did it help him?
John Holmberg
No, it's from. It's from our guy. It says that all of our meetings from now on will be also in German. I didn't know if that was signed Susan.
Dick Toledo
So south time.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's. And she says to the sales staff, don't forget to wear armband. I don't even know what that means, but sales boots required too. Are they all. It's 10 o'. Clock. Sales meeting. Is everybody ready? Oh, Christ.
Dick Toledo
Fired up.
John Holmberg
She's ready to go again. You can't have two meetings in two languages. Knock it off. This guy says to your effed listener, dig a hole for the wife and avoid the gold digging whore. You're one of many men she's milking. Move on. This guy says that last what would Brady do? Has me feeling really good about being gay because I got 99 problems but ain't 1. Rebel Hollingsworth. He's got the best name of all of our listeners. Has he told us he's gay before? I don't know either. I'm Rebel Hollingsworth. Hermersexual. Anyway, it's time now for Brady to give you all the news entertainment style. Brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com the home of tactical black self defense training. Self defense training is always a necessity. Whether you have training or not. If you need it, you will learn to defend yourself rather quickly. And a lot of it is based on your instincts. So people who say, oh, I don't know anything about it, or I don't know what I'm doing, yeah, that's right. That's the whole point of it. What would you do if something happened and you don't know anything? If you're quick to say the words I don't know anything about that, why dismiss it? It's called learning and being better at being yourself. They're really great with people who don't know anything. You go from being an absolute nothing to something. After the first class, you're going to go in there, go, okay, I learned something today. And you don't say that too much. As an adult. You learn every time you go up there to react defense. So become better at being you. No matter what shape, size, skill level you think you're at, you're ready to go because it's what you present to the world. Every day. So put something in your back pocket. Become a little bit better at being yourself. Become a little more confident. Get in better shape. It's all available to you, and the price is ridiculously low, so hop on that thing. You can also do private one on ones, which is an amazing way to learn this stuff. It's all good. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
Dick Toledo
There's a new UNORT authorized biography of Gwyneth Paltrow where she talks about when she was dating Ben Affleck and they used to love a certain sex act.
John Holmberg
Mm.
Dick Toledo
They tried to describe it. They got a little wordy. They could have just easy said.
John Holmberg
How did they say loved?
Dick Toledo
Okay, well, they say I probably should name it on the air. Let's just say because she's being interviewed, Right. It involves a man dipping a certain part of his anatomy into a certain part of a woman's anatomy as if they were preparing a certain type of afternoon drink. Popular in the uk.
John Holmberg
She's Teabaggin. Gwyneth Paltrow likes love with Ben Affleck in particular. Wonder if Chris Martin agrees.
Dick Toledo
She moved it on to a Brad Pitt.
John Holmberg
I wonder if Brett's right. I wonder if that passed on to Chris Martin. I wonder if she asked him if. If he wouldn't mind that or if he tried it first. She goes, I'm totally into it. I don't even know how you. I don't even know how you open that door. Yeah. I don't know.
Dick Toledo
I mean, think about the rest of the list, too, of the guys that she dated.
John Holmberg
Lights will try. That's beautiful. Chris. Put your balls in my mouth. What you say, I didn't hear you. What? And ignore what you've known. I've written this little song about you, Gwyneth. I will stick my balls in your mouth. Change up that. Change up that last line. Yeah. I really don't know what to do.
Dick Toledo
Evidently, Jelly Roll was the guest host of Jimmy Kimmel Live last week, and it was a success.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
During his monologue, he said, if I really suck, remember my name's Post Malone.
John Holmberg
That's a good one.
Dick Toledo
Later in the show, he choke slammed Logan Paul because he's promoting his wwe.
John Holmberg
They're together. Yeah.
Dick Toledo
A stampede.
John Holmberg
Coming up. Tails with my baby balls in your mouth. Where do I put my balls now? I suggest your mouth. I love that song too. Chris, is that about me? It is. It's all I think about when I see you now. So I'm. I think about. Want to hear Coldplay now. Oh, no. What's this one? Another words on that one. Let me see what I've got here. My balls into your open sleeping mouth. I used to keep my balls out of other people's mouths. Then I met Gwyneth Pace, and I stuffed my buzz in her mouth. Nailed them to. Is there a reason I can't explain the balls in your mouth making me insane? Sorry. Working on my new Coldplay stuff. Just in time.
Dick Toledo
Every song ends with Goop, which.
John Holmberg
That's where she got the name. Name your product.
Dick Toledo
Goop.
John Holmberg
Gwyneth.
Dick Toledo
A stampede broke out at an Atlanta train station last week. As fans, you heard it, too. Not a trance station.
John Holmberg
I heard that. So I looked at Brett, like, don't they have tram stations in Hotlanta?
Dick Toledo
This is a train station. Fans were leaving the Beyonce concert. Eleven people injured because someone mentioned there was a bug on the escalator, and the crowd freaked out.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. I watched and I survived. Where? I don't know how this happened. I'm watching. Like, I survived is usually pretty awesome. Where there's like a. Like, two dudes were captured by Al Qaeda. That was a good episode. A girl who got shot four times in the back, once in her head by her boyfriend, and laid there, and she's like, the only reason I stayed alive is because I could see my son out of the corner of my eye. I had to stay awake. I just had to. I was like, my God. And then one lady, she pops on and she goes, we were at the. This mall, and somebody fell down and kind of bowling balled over about nine more people on an escalator. And they piled up, and she was on the bottom, and it sucked her legs and busted them in half. And then took her dad's back because he was in the bottom of the pile before the end, where the major steel teeth are. And when the stairs closed up, you know how they close up? It pinched his back skin and ripped it because he was laying underneath all those people. And I'm like, how did no one get up? And then. Oh, yeah, that's the other part. The reason they fell is because the escalator went nuts. They were down on the bottom, and then something happened. And the escalator just said, hey, I got a. I got a gear. Like, I got a Ferrari engine. And just flew up the thing.
Dick Toledo
Interesting.
John Holmberg
Threw everybody back.
Dick Toledo
Horrifying because someone said, I mean, there's, you know, 11 people injured. One person broke their ankle, but this person lost a leg, began screaming and running, causing A stampede. Because they saw a bug the escalator. It caused it to temporary. Temporarily speed up and then suddenly stop.
John Holmberg
That's what this one did. Remember the lady in China a few years ago?
Dick Toledo
Yes.
John Holmberg
Who the. When you step off it, it broke and she sucked in and it popped her head off.
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh, escalators.
Dick Toledo
I was thinking the one kid too, with a. The flip flops got caught.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And it tears yours. It just keeps going. There's no stopping that monster.
Dick Toledo
The original bike from Peewee's Big Adventure will be permanently displayed at the Alamo.
John Holmberg
I wanna bleed my balls dry. This is for my wife. She's the one over there with a. This looks like a snake that's detached its jaw. What's this one called? Yellow. Oh, yellow. That's right. You want me to start it over for you? No. Okay. I got it though. If you want to start it over.
Dick Toledo
You and Sharp.
John Holmberg
Look at my balls. Look how they shine for you. And they go in your mouth. Then I cover your face and goo. All right. Chris is throwing me off in the background. I'm going to sing along for Chris has got nothing on you. Look at this. Nothing. I got this.
Dick Toledo
Shannon Sharp settled his $50 million rape lawsuit.
John Holmberg
Yep. Look, I told you she didn't. I didn't do it. I wasn't done that. Brett. I wasn't done that. She didn't listen. Let them. I didn't do it. Couldn't skip that payment. Could not skip, skip, skip that payment. Couldn't do it. R to the A to the P to the E. Wasn't me.
Dick Toledo
Terms of the agreement weren't disclosed.
John Holmberg
A lot. The answer you need braided there is a lot. I didn't do it.
Dick Toledo
It done.
John Holmberg
I didn't do it. I gotcha. Yeah, I was trying to take a drink. Look at the stall. How they shine. Fold you. That's called Shannon play. Shannon play. That's what we call that. Now that I haven't raped. I can do it again. Is ESPN hiring back?
Dick Toledo
I thought he's back.
John Holmberg
I haven't seen him. So. I know the podcast club Shade. Club Shay Shay. Club Shay Shay Mine that belonged to me. Can't take that. Didn't do that.
Dick Toledo
If they hire him back, he'll have to get approved by Stephen A. Smith and that's right.
John Holmberg
Stephen A. Smith. He knew what good form I call McAfee. That's right. That's right. He knows what good you couldn't identify. You couldn't identify me. Shannon is actually pretty darn entertaining on the club Shay. Shay. But paying off the girl isn't necessarily better, I don't think. Right. All right, Larry's back, everybody. That's a great thing. Our fearless leader has rolled back in from his vacation. Larry is home.
Dick Toledo
And he said it was a 10 out of 10.
John Holmberg
10 out of 10, right? Little family trip. That's right. Right. Larry's back. Right? Look who's back. It's Larry. Larry's gonna give you all the things he didn't give you last week. He's gonna make it up to you that he's been missing in action for a week. So be nice to Larry. He'll be nice back to you. We're done. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 07-21-25 - *Entertainment Drill - MON - Gwyneth Paltrow Says She And Ben Affleck Liked To Tea Bag During Sex
Release Date: July 21, 2025
Introduction to Entertainment Drill
In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, hosts John Holmberg and Dick Toledo dive into a variety of entertaining and sometimes controversial topics, delivering a blend of humor, celebrity gossip, and current events. The segment, titled "Entertainment Drill," serves as the centerpiece, offering listeners a lively discussion led by the dynamic duo.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck's Personal Life
The primary focus of the episode centers around revelations from a new UNORT-authorized biography of Gwyneth Paltrow. Dick Toledo introduces the topic, highlighting a particularly intimate detail about Paltrow's relationship with Ben Affleck.
Dick Toledo [04:50]: "There's a new UNORT authorized biography of Gwyneth Paltrow where she talks about when she was dating Ben Affleck and they used to love a certain sex act."
John Holmberg humorously deciphers the insinuated act, leading to a lighthearted yet explicit discussion.
John Holmberg [05:31]: "She's Teabaggin. Gwyneth Paltrow likes love with Ben Affleck in particular. Wonder if Chris Martin agrees."
The hosts continue to riff on the topic, blending satire with pop culture references, creating a humorous atmosphere while touching on the personal lives of high-profile celebrities.
Celebrity News and Parodies
Transitioning from Gwyneth Paltrow, the conversation shifts to other celebrities and their antics. Dick Toledo mentions Jelly Roll’s guest appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live, highlighting a memorable moment where Jelly Roll quips:
Dick Toledo [06:28]: "Evidently, Jelly Roll was the guest host of Jimmy Kimmel Live last week, and it was a success."
John Holmberg adds his take on the interaction, emphasizing the comedic timing of Jelly Roll’s remarks.
John Holmberg [06:39]: "During his monologue, he said, if I really suck, remember my name's Post Malone."
The hosts humorously imagine fictional song lyrics inspired by the earlier discussion about Gwyneth Paltrow, further showcasing their comedic chemistry.
Atlanta Train Station Stampede Incident
Shifting gears, Holmberg and Toledo report on a recent incident at an Atlanta train station that caused significant chaos and injuries. The conversation delves into the specifics of the event, painting a vivid picture of the dangers posed by malfunctioning escalators.
Dick Toledo [08:14]: "A stampede broke out at an Atlanta train station last week. As fans, you heard it, too. Not a trance station."
John Holmberg provides a detailed account of the incident, recounting eyewitness descriptions of the escalator malfunction that led to the stampede.
John Holmberg [09:45]: "The escalator just said, hey, I got a. I got a Ferrari engine. And just flew up the thing. Threw everybody back."
The hosts compare the incident to a previous tragic event in China, underscoring the perils of defective public infrastructure.
John Holmberg [10:00]: "Remember the lady in China a few years ago? Who the. When you step off it, it broke and she sucked in and it popped her head off."
Shannon Sharp's Lawsuit Settlement
The discussion takes a serious turn as the hosts address recent legal developments involving Shannon Sharp. Toledo reports on the settlement of a substantial rape lawsuit, though specifics remain undisclosed.
Dick Toledo [11:40]: "Shannon Sharp settled his $50 million rape lawsuit."
John Holmberg humorously navigates the sensitive topic, maintaining a balance between levity and the gravity of the news.
John Holmberg [12:03]: "The answer you need braided there is a lot. I didn't do it."
Host Updates and Conclusion
As the episode wraps up, the hosts share lighter moments about the return of their colleague, Larry, from vacation. This segment highlights the camaraderie among the team and sets a friendly tone for the conclusion.
Dick Toledo [13:24]: "Larry is home."
John Holmberg [13:26]: "Larry's back. Larry's gonna give you all the things he didn't give you last week."
The episode concludes with Holmberg affirming the show's commitment to delivering engaging and powerful content to their Arizona listeners.
John Holmberg [13:51]: "We'll see you guys tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station."
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness adeptly balances humor with current events, providing listeners with an entertaining yet informative experience. From celebrity gossip to serious news stories, the hosts maintain a dynamic and engaging dialogue, making complex topics accessible and amusing. Whether you're a regular listener or new to the show, this episode delivers a comprehensive snapshot of the vibrant discussions that define Arizona’s #1 morning radio show.