07-21-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (07-21-25)

Date Released: July 21, 2025

Hosts:

• John Holmberg
• Brady Bogen
• Brett Vesely
• Dick Toledo (featured occasionally)

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1. Birthday Pranks and Personal Anecdotes

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg sharing a humorous yet controversial story about surprising his friend, Dick Toledo, for his birthday. With the assistance of Brady and Brett, John orchestrates an elaborate prank involving sending unexpected and explicit images to Toledo's phone, causing both amusement and embarrassment.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [03:45]: "There's nothing better than blowing their phone up with unexpected pictures. It's all in good fun."

2. Controversial Take on the WNBA All-Star Game

The hosts dive into a heated discussion about the recent WNBA All-Star Game. John criticizes the league's marketing strategies, player salaries, and the overall engagement of the audience. He expresses disappointment over the perceived lack of effort in showcasing the athletes' talents and laments the financial struggles faced by the league despite high visibility.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [09:58]: "Women don't support the league, and it makes us misogynists."
• Brady Bogen [10:48]: "And having the best opportunity to take advantage in the last year with Caitlin Clark."

3. Experiences at a Japanese Concert and Cultural Observations

John recounts his experience attending a Japanese artist's concert, highlighting issues such as overcrowded merchandise stalls, repetitive performances, and the use of synchronized lighting devices among the audience. He also shares his frustration with traffic congestion caused by concert-goers, particularly criticizing the driving habits of attendees.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [21:23]: "Every single one of them Asians can't drive. It was weird."
• Brady Bogen [28:43]: "If you're going to go to that thing, just recognize traffic is going to be a nightmare."

4. Incident Involving Misbehaving Monks in Thailand

The conversation shifts to a disturbing news story about monks in a Thai Buddhist institution being blackmailed with illicit videos. John expresses his skepticism about the integrity of religious communities, questioning their commitment to peace and discipline.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [60:16]: "The whole Buddhist thing is garbage as well."

5. Critique of Eating Shows and Modern Entertainment

The hosts critique the prevalent format of eating shows on television, describing them as unengaging and commercially driven. John compares these shows unfavorably to other forms of entertainment, emphasizing their lack of substance and overemphasis on promoting specific brands or products.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [51:32]: "I watch eating shows and I don't know what Roblox is. Somebody brought that up to me, and I'm like, what's Roblox?"

6. Addressing Racism in the Workplace

A segment is dedicated to handling racism within the workplace. John shares a listener's dilemma involving a racist co-worker named Mildred, who frequently makes offensive remarks. The hosts discuss potential strategies, including reporting to HR and enlisting support from other colleagues to address the issue effectively.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [160:48]: "She can say anything whether we like it or not."
• John Holmberg [163:46]: "Grab a couple of black guys in there. They'll handle it."

7. Lighthearted Segments and Audience Interaction

Interspersed throughout the episode are lighthearted segments, including news trivia, humorous takes on historical events, and playful interactions among the hosts. They engage with listener-submitted content, such as amusing videos and personal stories, adding entertainment value to the show.

Notable Quote:

• Brady Bogen [105:31]: "I have never heard anything like that."

8. Closing Remarks and Promotions

The episode concludes with the hosts promoting various sponsors and upcoming events. John addresses workplace frustrations humorously, while Brady shares interesting trivia and engages with audience contributions. The final moments involve playful banter and closing statements reinforcing the show's entertaining yet provocative nature.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [157:19]: "That's our best radio show. 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station."

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Conclusion:

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness encapsulates the show's signature blend of humor, controversy, and candid discussions on social issues. While the hosts tackle serious topics like racism and cultural misconduct, they maintain an irreverent and entertaining tone, making the content engaging for their diverse Arizona audience.

Disclaimer: Some discussions in this episode include sensitive and potentially offensive topics. The hosts express personal opinions that may not reflect broader societal views.

Transcript

[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

From Holberg's Morning Sickness for Game Day.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

With Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy.

[John Holmberg]

And focus and now with the help.

[Brady]

Of Game Day's board certified staff, I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Looking at peptide and vitamin therapies as well. In a matter of minutes at Game Day's In House lab, a licensed Game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to help you get back in the game.

[Brady]

You can battle the clock of aging.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

It's Brett and John for action ride shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa.

[John Holmberg]

The new location is your east valley full line bike shop with brands like Pivot, Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain, Giant, Norco and of course Action ride shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus being so close to the Hawes trailhead, they have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and e bikes.

[Brett]

Action Ride shop now with two locations. The brand new Shop of Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out at actionrideshop.com you thought that was funny?

[Brady]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? PD good. Oh my God. I blew my. I blew my voice out this weekend. You have no idea. Good morning everybody. Hello there. How are you? It's bad. I got band rehearsal tomorrow too. I gotta get that fixed. I just. It was too much. A lot of. A lot of goofing around, shoot up the throat and then followed up with absolutely nothing, which was worse. Yeah, I just gotta get. Yeah, just get a bunch of whatever it is. It's 5:45. My name's John. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett. Toledo is not here. That's where I was was yesterday. It was working remote birthday and I may have never had more fun with somebody's birthday via text. And thank you to Brett for that because I just w on our little text thread. The show text thread. Hey, happy birthday Toledo. And then Brett followed up with happy birthday by himself and his happy birthday automatically spawned the balloons. The balloons that flew.

[Brett]

I didn't even know that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you put happy birthday on and if you just write happy birthday and send balloons and Toledo says oh thanks guys but we have to all admit that balloons between us is a little bit Katie kb and that's code for wildly homosexual. So then it started because said you ungrateful pile of whatever. And it began after that with me searching my phone just said I literally put into the search line graphic gay porn money shot pictures. You found it and I found you did well. So every. I don't know. I still 30 minutes hour.

[Brady]

Freddie Mercury.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you broke out of Freddie Mercury was like ahaha gay. And I'm like no, that's not gay enough. To be ungrateful, we need to show him some. Remember that he's on a little three day birthday holiday with some friends. So I want his phone to open up every few minutes in California with, you know, hopefully a waiter looking over his shoulder. Something like that. And people seeing. Son. His son was just people seeing. And then some of the grossest. Like, I've never. I didn't know what a daisy chain was, but wow, that is just nuts to butts across the room.

[Brady]

That was Cole.

[John Holmberg]

That is awesome. Yeah, but I've never had more fun with that because every, like, you know, I'd go about my business, minding my own, and then a couple hours would go by and be like, oh, yeah, Toledo's gay birthday. And then I'd fire that over there and have the time of my life for that. And all I had to do was say that, oh, it's a little gay. And I'm like, the one thing I couldn't do and tried to do was add this. 93:30. I have no clue how to get that on there from this computer because I wasn't here.

[Brett]

I almost sent the video over. I was like, well, I got it on the rosebud.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, just a screenshot.

[Brett]

Yeah, I should. Oh, I was too nauseous looking at the ones you were sending over.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, all right, if at all you have a friend getting on a plane or in a meeting or with. On a date or anything else, there's nothing better than blowing their phone up with graphic gay pictures. Like, there's nothing funnier. And I learned that from Jon Lovitz, because while I was hanging out with Lovitz, he was in my car. Ah, God, not again. And I looked at his phone, and there's a dude just naked in a mirror. And I'm like, what are you doing? And he goes, oh, the guy who started Cameo shoots over these gay pictures when I tell him I'm with a friend. And I mean, it didn't stop. And he goes, he does it on planes. And he calls me. He'll FaceTime me when I pick it up. He's nude. This is great.

[Brady]

Today's the day for.

[John Holmberg]

It's his birthday. Yeah, I should get him too.

[Brady]

Send him a couple of those daisy chains.

[John Holmberg]

I will.

[Brett]

Apparently, Toledo just texts at the beach with a Japanese family behind us. Mission accomplished.

[John Holmberg]

Was. Yep. See, we did it. Even better. Well, his birthday's over, so that's enough of that. But if you have a friend who's celebrating and he's. He's like, oh, the balloons are gay. Like, Brett controls that.

[Brett]

I didn't think. I forgot about it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, you can do that. Or the confetti or fireworks.

[Brady]

I thought it was cute.

[John Holmberg]

I did too. I like it. I'm not gonna lie to you. I like the balloons. I think that's a neat feature. And then I like the fireworks. I don't remember how that. It used to give you an option. Like, it would give you like four or five if you'd shake.

[Brady]

Yeah, it was like a combo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can make an earthquake. I never got the combo, but, like, it gave you like five or six things. And click on the one you wanted it to be. Balloons or fireworks or confetti.

[Brady]

Maybe. The fireworks for sure come out on the Happy New Year.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. And then the slam. But you used to be able to pick it. Like, you could do it no matter what, man. Anyway, happy birthday, Toledo. But he's not here today because of that. He and his wife are marching somewhere against right wing politics. That's today. He had his birthday yesterday. And then today he's been. I think he's down there throwing Molotov cocktails at ice. I'm pretty sure that's. I think that's. Toledo's. That's what he has to do today. He has to go down to Karen Bass's office in Los Angeles and bathe her.

[Brady]

And they were saving whales on Saturday.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. They saved some whales. And then he put his pussy hat on and they did some sort of march for women. And WNBA had their all star game on Saturday. And Toledo had to wear his pay them what they what you owe them shirts. Which hilarious, funniest thing I saw this weekend. And I saw some funny stuff this week. Funniest thing I saw this weekend, the WNBA all Star Game before. You guys probably don't even know. You know what. Cause no one would. You'd have to watch some of it.

[Brady]

When did it happen?

[John Holmberg]

Saturday. Sometime like Matt. Well, the game was on here. Okay, I'm gonna go off now. Here we go. So before the game, all the girls are wearing shirts that say, pay us what you owe us. And again, do the math. Its best year was last year. And as a league, they lost $50 million. That was the best year they've ever had. They've never once had a season where each team wasn't subsidized by their parent NBA team a minimum of $11 million, which covers payroll completely. Cover, like by a lot and everything else. So they. They start their entire product at zero before they've sold the ticket or got any TV or anything else. Because the WNBA says we're not going to make it. So you're struggling to pay people or what? Here's $11 million. That'll cover you for the year. No question about it. Go out there. And they've never. So they wear the shirts that say no one saw the shirts until they went online. As with all the memes and stuff saying the girls are out today. And I just. The first comment I wanted to make was no one would have known this existed by watching the game. And whose fault is that? Whose fault is it, Brady, I'll give you a couple of seconds to answer the question. Whose fault is it that no one saw the girls in their plea. Whose fault is that?

[Brady]

The ladies.

[John Holmberg]

It is the women's fault. They don't support the league and then they make us misogynists. That's exactly right. Oh, men don't watch because it's all women. Why don't women watch? Why don't women watch the WNBA if it's. If it's so good?

[Brady]

Because you got 5%. A little more than that. Enjoy the game of basketball.

[John Holmberg]

Women hate each other. That's why. It has nothing to do with the sport. Women don't like watching other women succeed in piles of women. They like women succeeding like Charlize Throne beating up men. They love that. It's called fantasy. They love that reality. Bunch of women on a court together, they can't even get along there. They're the worst group of people in the world. So they start screaming and then they're going to sell their shirts to the other lesbians that say, pay them what you owe them. And technically, if you want to do the math, after all is said and done financially, percentage of pay that the WNBA gets versus the NBA. The WNBA girls would owe about $400 million. They're upside down.

[Brady]

And earn.

[John Holmberg]

Earn your pay. How about that?

[Brady]

And having the best opportunity to take advantage in the last year with Caitlin Clark.

[John Holmberg]

And they hate her. Hate her. They outwardly fight against it. They don't know how to market. I need to be hired at the wnba. If they want success, call me. Because everything you're doing is wrong. Here's another thing they did wrong. I watch a little of it. They put no effort into the All Star game because as a league, they have none of their own ideas. They just copy the NBA 100% across the board. They look at. What do NBA guys do? Oh, they have a thing where they're walking into the arena and it's all fashioned. We're going to do that too. They lazily wander through and sleepwalk through an All Star game, which, by the.

[Brady]

Way, they have the layup contest, don't they?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they have the skills contest. They have no skills. You can have your three point shooting. Three point, but you know, that's one. Then you're going to do some passing drills and like rolling on the ground drills. I don't know what it is. So what they could have done with all this attention. I keep saying, we've got so many new fans. We've got so many new fans. The league's on fire. League. And Dave Portnoy is a troll. Quit turning to Dave Portnoy on all this stuff. That dude loves trolling about this. But they had, they had their opportunity on a primetime game to go out there and show everybody the talent level the WNBA possesses to show all these new fans to show a bunch because it's now being pushed down your throats everywhere. They could have shown them. Man, watch this. This is a good product. Nope, no defense. Because that's what the NBA does in their All Star game. Let's act like this doesn't matter because that's what the NBA does in their. And the NBA All Star game sucks. And they went out there and acted like they'd earned this and they don't want so in the same argument of saying none of us are paid like superstars, they didn't want anybody to get hurt because they're too big an investment to their team. Like, you guys don't make any money. You're saying it yourselves. Nobody loses if you get hurt.

[Brett]

Angel Reese says it all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's always talking about that. Go out there. I would have been furious if I was the commissioner of the WNBA and I'd have gone into both locker rooms and goes, hey, ladies. What the was that? Well, what did you just do? You know, we've fought for this long, this hard for you guys to go out and loaf like you're Kevin Durant. And yeah, you're not. You haven't earned this. Like nobody's watching you unless that one plays. And I know you hate that, but she got hurt. And the ticket prices went from $160 to 60 to pregame time, $43 to sit in the lower bowl of a WNBA. It seems high and it's still. That was where I would have started. $43, that's about as good as it gets.

[Brady]

Interesting you brought up Port Loyd. Because, you know, there's things sometimes like. Oh, I agree with. He's the one thing he said earlier, it was on Friday, he was talking about Stephen Colbert.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

At CBS. And he's like, it's simple, you know, one, you're losing 40 million a year. CBS is right. According to him, that's how much they.

[John Holmberg]

Were paying Stephen Colbert.

[Brady]

Colbert. 16 million. He has a staff of 200. And CBS loses 50 million a year. And you turn around and you bad mouth the company. What do you think's gonna happen? That's his point. You're gonna get fired.

[John Holmberg]

He was. The whole staff. $50 million, the whole production. They're not losing $50 million. The whole thing cost, according to him.

[Brady]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

And maybe they.

[Brady]

And. But, but then he turns around and says.

[John Holmberg]

And screams about the wnba. Yeah. He's such a troll.

[Brady]

Like, but if you're losing money.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, of course he does. When did this country look at a scraggly Bostonian and say, what's he think? In the past? Since the revolution. Never. We've never done since the revolution. We've never gone. Let's see what people from Boston think. Kennedy might have been the last one. But he didn't. He was in a different part of Massachusetts Mass. Holes is like, like they call themselves. They know. And then Portnoy goes out and get Ms. Peaches and starts parading her around. I'm like, all right, he must be a pretty decent guy. And then he starts yelling at the dumbest stuff. WNBA should be ashamed of itself. Wildly ashamed of itself. It had an opportunity to go out and go, wow, their All Star game is better than all the others because all the other pro sports have quit on their All Star games. They. They don't try. It's just like, yeah, we're. We're superstars. We're not even, you know, you're here to see me. It's like it's this lazy out of all of them.

[Brady]

You know, I can't just say, even though I missed it, majority of it. But the, the last All Star baseball. Oh, I mean, it's some unique stuff that happened.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but they're not trying.

[Brady]

Yeah. And, you know, derby's probably the highlight.

[John Holmberg]

The derby's a blast. They're not trying, but the big stars won't do it. But, like, but baseball has a hard time because some of These guys are $100 million a year. You can't risk a tweaked back. You know, it, it ruins the product going forward. You get your night out. You understand? It's just kind of a parade of stars. The WNBA doesn't have any stars to parade, but they act like we're lucky to see this. I don't know any of these girls names. They had an opportunity to market this, but they're terrible at it. And they deserve exactly what they get paid, which is absolute because they treat the game like we owe them something. Shut up. I'll quote that brought on Fox News from years ago. Just shut up and dribble. Quit it. You haven't earned a civil rights position yet to start barking out needs. No, you're out. I even I didn't agree with the girls soccer team because it was only every four years. And then they started saying, pay us as much as the men get paid. And we're like, well, hold on a second. FIFA World cup for men is a whole lot different than women. Have your own sport. Quit comping against everything else and just stand on your own two feet and see what it is. If you don't like the pay, start your own thing. That's what podcasting did to radio. We don't like this. What else is there? And then everybody leaves and goes and makes their own. Conan o' Brien is making more now than he did with tbs because the podcast, all he has to do is employ seven people. And the thing is huge. It's massive because he didn't have to sit with and make money for another company. He's like, they're killing me with. They're bloated. So anyway, WNBA weekend was awesome. And you know where I watched it?

[Brett]

Title nine.

[John Holmberg]

Title nine bar. That's close. Oh, I. I met Thriller Saturday night.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, that is close.

[John Holmberg]

Over at the Autoo concert. I say Adu because Ado is Adu. I learned that from Shakespeare. And Adu is a Japanese singer. I've never seen security like this in my life. They wanted to take my MetaGlass glasses away. You are not allowed to have anything. I think if you brought a sketch pad in, they'd kick you out. You cannot come close to finding the identity of this woman. In fact, because I took him down to the Rah Rah room, you know, Thriller deserved a night out. Got put him in the suite for the this Weird Ass concert. He likes this. It's Japan. Those screens are all animated. She stands in a cage all night in a box, head to toe, in blackout, like Mr. Orange, only black and without the child abduction.

[Brett]

Oh, okay. I was gonna say.

[John Holmberg]

And so she stands up there and just wails in Japanese.

[Brett]

Oh, that's terrible.

[John Holmberg]

The day before. None of us have ever heard of this person. Nobody down in the rah rah room had ever heard of this. And they were working the night. I'm talking to Drew the bartender. He's like, never heard of it. Looked around up the. The dude the bar back was like, yeah. I looked at him and some of it's okay, but, you know, never heard of it. No one knew who this was. Sold out. The day before the concert, Friday afternoon, 14,000 people stood in line for the merch. They had to open the merch the day before.

[Brady]

A day early.

[John Holmberg]

A day early. You know what? You know what? She sells flashlights and the. And these guys eat them up. And Thrillers. Date this kid named Chris who. God damn it, Chris, if you don't shave your head next time I see you. You. He's got the worst male pattern baldness I've ever seen. He's hanging on to it.

[Brett]

Come over and everything.

[John Holmberg]

It's that weird. It's Cooter from the Dukes of Hazard when he took his hat off. It's just. It's kind of glued. It's all swampy sweat. Glued. Like the seven or eight shirts. Homer Simpson's hair. Oh, it's. And I just like, look, it's. And I. That was the whole hour discussion of, like, it's over. You're talking to a bald guy. Get it? Oh, no, it's still. I'm like, nope, it's long gone. Like. And he. And I said, what do you do for a living? And he's a. A. A chef at a. He's a. One of them secondary chefs at a sous chef. Yeah, kind of. He's had another word for it. I don't know what it was at some steakhouse in. In Chandler, Downtown Chandler. I'm like, oh, good for you. I said, do you know why you're not allowed in the front of the house ever? Like, the reason you work in the kitchen. Oh, it's your hair. You look. You look horrifying. You look like a mechanic that just slid out from under a car. Let's get. Anyway, he. He opens up his little duffel. Because I said, with hair like that, you walking around with a duffel bag. You look like an incel that's about to blow this place to bits. He opens it up inside. And only this item inside his tiny little duffel bag was this flashlight with what looked like a plastic crystal on top. And he turned it on and a blue light started to flash. And he goes, here's the cool part, all of us bought one. So this lady's got 10,000, 12,000 people in this arena with these blue flashlights. She's, you know, screams something in Japanese or that she put them on, put them up and they control through Bluetooth the color.

[Brady]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

So that was kind of neat, I gotta give you that. But she didn't provide them to the fans. You guys participate in my show, you pay for it. And the tickets were twelve hundred dollars.

[Brady]

And they probably have the collector series.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm sure there's higher ends. But 14,000 people show they have to open the merch tents the day before because it gets too chaotic.

[Brady]

They filled the place was the day before, it was the morning.

[John Holmberg]

It's insane. Believe them, Insane. So here's another thing I learned this weekend. She's a Japanese singer, right? And I called my buddy Anthony, who's a rah rah guy, and I said, hey, I want to go get down here and check out this, this, this weirdo festival. And he goes, yes, I do. And he immediately like. He immediately said yes. So Anthony's gonna meet me down there. I had to warn him. I didn't think of this. You go to a Japanese show, you're not gonna make it. You gotta leave an hour before you normally would leave. There were so many accidents, and I'm not kidding, so many car accidents on my drive in. And all I had to go was about 11 and a half miles. I saw four freeway freezing accidents and I. And every one of them included a Nissan with a spoiler. Every. I'm not kidding.

[Brett]

It was like fast and furious. Got in a wreck on the way there.

[John Holmberg]

There was a Tokyo drift.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There was an Asian guy standing on the next to the accident. And every single one of them Asians, that's real.

[Brett]

Were they taking pictures too? I mean, you know, if we're gonna.

[John Holmberg]

Go that far, you know what I'm gonna go to a point of saying? Not all stereotypes are true.

[Brett]

Okay. All right.

[John Holmberg]

That one is though. That one is 100% true. Not all. That's the thing. Not all stereotypes are true. That one is, you guys can't drive to save your asses. It was. It was Saturday at. I left the house at 5:30 to get downtown. On a Saturday. That's plenty of time to beat traffic. The Asians had mucked up the road so badly, I didn't get to the arena until 6:15. At 9 miles, essentially 3 on the 511 right on the transition of like 7th street and the 10 when it kind of 51 merges.

[Brady]

I can see that.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sitting there on that and I'm like, what in the hell is going to drive by? Neat. What are that Niso or whatever is written on the side? I'm like, oh, well, there you go. And he gets out and he's standing next to his. What, what kind of car is that? The Nissan Nismo or whatever. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't even know what kind of car it is. But they, they, they all look exactly. I should say this, the cars all look exactly the same. And they. And they're all kind of the spoiler.

[Brady]

Is it like the gt?

[Brett]

Yeah, it's the gtr.

[John Holmberg]

It's the gtr.

[Brett]

It's the big Nissan. Like, yeah, bad boy.

[John Holmberg]

It's. Well, and they're all. And they're wrecking them like crazy. You shouldn't be allowed to drive those. Morning sickness. 28 Holmberg's morning sickness. I'm not kidding when I say it. And I know it's gonna piss people off. We gotta get you back to just pulling things with your legs. That's enough. We're done with you driving. I've never seen anything like it. I go to Suns games on weeknights. Game starts at 7 and I can leave my house 40 minutes before the game and get comfortably seated before it starts. Go to one Japanese show. That's it. There's the car. They were like. Every one of. Every wreck had one of those facing the wrong way on the side of the road. Road like he spun out. Every one of them. There was a Nissan on the side of the road. Every one of them. It was weird. So don't. If you ever have to go to a Japanese show, just recognize traffic is going to be a nightmare. And it can be Sunday at 3 in the morning. There's going to be four wrecks at least from where you're coming from.

[Brady]

Did you notice, did anything change as far as the downtown area? Were those guys that were running the, the bikes, the rickshaw bikes, were they out there or. They were.

[John Holmberg]

No, there were. Yeah, there was. There were. You know, I don't think I noticed as many, now that you're pointing it out. I think normally there's a lot. There's a Diamondbacks game. There was this Japanese crazy lady.

[Brady]

Dual events.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I didn't see as many as normal. But you know, they coned up the roads by the arena. Like we're not letting them get too close. And like you had to. It was Tough. But they weren't making it all the way to the arena. They're just bashing into the. I've never seen anything like that.

[Brett]

So how was the show?

[John Holmberg]

So I didn't go to the show.

[Brett]

Okay, it sounds like Japanese tool.

[John Holmberg]

No, we sent. No, it was, it was.

[Brett]

Because, I mean, Maynard's always hiding in the back. You can't ever see him, but he.

[John Holmberg]

Shows up here and there. And here's the other thing. No one who works in the arena was allowed to move after the show was over. We didn't stay that long after the show was over. Drew the bartender told me this. He goes, we've been given strict instructions that we cannot leave the Rah Rah room until she leaves the building like Elvis, just in case someone spots her.

[Brett]

And how do you know who it is?

[John Holmberg]

That's what I said. I'm like, well, what if she takes her. Her mask off? No one's gonna know. I don't know. It was the weirdest night ever. It was. And, and, and then we poked our heads out for one song and Yoko Ono is, you know, she's. She's a Dell compared to this broad.

[Brett]

It sounds horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, it was awful.

[Brady]

And I look Godzilla movie.

[John Holmberg]

Well, let's calm down about that. We're allowed to talk about the car accidents because it's true. Let's not bring Godzilla into this. But you're right. You're 100. Right. But let's not. Lordy ruffled enough feathers. Yeah, yeah. The car wrecks that are. That they're. It's what I'm talking about. Undeniably true. I mean, if I was in court and they're like, oh, he's racist. And I'm just throw my arms up like, ask the cops how many. How many wrecks they had to tend to on Saturday with Nissans with spoilers on them on the at 6 o'.

[Brady]

Clock.

[Brett]

Just call Shane Orlando, find out how many got towed in that night.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that's if Shane had a.

[Brady]

Banner in the garage.

[John Holmberg]

Shane's at home going, I don't know what's going on. We made a billion dollars on a Saturday. Yeah. I can stand in the courtroom with my arms in here going, I'm right though. Check the blotter. They're starting with this. But did you say something about Godzilla? I'm like, ah, crap, they got us. Be careful. Yeah. Know your boundaries, sir. He's not wrong. It looked a lot like a Godzilla checkbook, Brady. But it ain't right to say that. Brady bad Bo bad. But yeah. So if you want to go to that thing. So let me tell you what did.

[Brett]

The audience look like?

[John Holmberg]

Corey? Not what I expect. Okay. Every. Every one of them was Corey is Cory's fun. Cory's a blast. And you know you can play and goof around and it was fun to tell people he was. Why his nickname is Thriller. Because everybody's trying to be all proper and stuff and like why do you call him that? And I'm like, Corey, walk over there. And then I'd be, you know, the second I start walking it's close to midnight to something. Oh my God, stop. And I'm like, hey, watch to the be. He doesn't even know it. And so everybody would spin around. But they love the nickname. So. And Cory's a good sport and everything else. He and his buddy are, I'll just say this. Anime fans. And that comes with a certain territory when you're an. When you're an out loud super anime fan. You are also league. Yeah. You're also the type of person that usually ends up on the news for incel stuff. I think that's mostly what I'll say. The involuntary celibate night out was 12,000 strong. It was strange. It was a brand new world. And I. How do things get that popular? I have no idea. No one knew who that was. Turns into just a massive event of just like minded. That's what. Where cults scare me. No one. And I mean, you know, my dad knew what Motley Crue was. Didn't have an interest in it. Actually did he liked a couple of it but he's like I'm not going with this poison. What the hell is this queer stuff? Like he didn't. He looked at it, but he knew it existed. Now people are in a. In a lather over something that 96% of society knows nothing about. And that is scary because that's so like minded and so you know, like it's just such a small sliver of society and they all get in the same room and they all have their cult sticks and everybody's like who is that? And it's like just leave them alone. You got make sure and good lord, they served alcohol. 11,000 Asians who could barely get their sober are gonna try to hop behind the wheel of their Nissan.

[Brett]

Well, I said I have an excuse.

[John Holmberg]

Then maybe it makes them better. Yeah, I don't know. It was a. It's crazy. I've never seen that. The last time I saw something like that I was downtown a Year and a half ago. And I remember sitting in a. At a light, and I'm almost all the way downtown. Was there a lot of traffic? I'm like, there's no game. What's going on? It was probably five. I was getting. I was meeting Matt Coman, actually, at the standup and sitting at a light, and I see a car open, the doors open, and then girls dressed as fairies get up and I'm like, fairies are 12. That one's like 35.

[Brett]

Katie, can you move the studios?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That fairy's like, oh, sorry. No, real fairy. Oh, okay. Well, not to say they're not real. I didn't mean to offend you. Fairies, you guys are real. It's. You know what I mean, the ones with wings. And I'm like, those girls aren't 12. And I thought maybe there was a convention because the fairy. Well, sure. Civic center's right there. Sometimes it's a bunch of people going to a convention. And I'm like, wait a second. There's two more moms dressed as fairies, and that one's got a daughter dressed as a fairy. I'm like, there's fairies all over. It was like Tuesday. Now that does sound like something you'd hear at Katy K. Right? I think that's something we should try. I was like, 93. 3. There's fairies all over her. So a girl named Melanie Martinez had sold out the arena downtown. And tickets for that show were like three grand. Because it was a triple cilla. Exactly. And she dresses as a fairy and sings about sex to kids. And it is. They get them dressing up and doing all sorts of stuff. I've never seen anything. I don't remember anything being. I wish we had this. I wish we had this hiding space for my. My parents and all adults. It was always cool to see the really old people saying, what the hell is this? But when all the bartenders and staff at the raw rooms, like, we never heard of it, and they're all in their 20s, and you're like, you guys don't know. I'm like, who is this for? And then we'd look at Corey and his buddy, like, right, it's an incel con.

[Brett]

So is it safe to say nobody got laid at that show?

[John Holmberg]

No one got laid at that show voluntarily. No one was. Maybe an abuser took advantage of. But no way anybody would. Nobody made a move. Nothing.

[Brady]

Wonderful karaoke went up that night downtown.

[John Holmberg]

That is a great question, I would imagine. God, we should have told that to Matt Coma. But if anybody Even knew who this ADU was. He could have had karaoke night over there at Copper Blues and crushed it and just said, you know, karaoke with the band tonight. Admission is free with your ADU ticket. Oh, my go. God. There would have been a line all. And plus, it's better because they would have had to. They wouldn't have driven over there and caused more trouble just walking. Keep them out until two in the morning so they can only bash into walls and stuff. It's a true thing. It would have been like, say, Peso Pluma was downtown. And I'm like, I couldn't get downtown because of all the leaf blowers in the freeway. It would have been that kind of stereotype. Like, that's wrong, John. And like, if I'd have said it before, you'd have been like, oh, that's terrible. Terrible. Then I lived it. And it isn't terrible. It's real. They just can't drive. And the better one was the fourth wreck I saw was all Asians. And they were laughing. They were having the time of their lives on the side of the road. Right at the Gore point like that. Of course, we. They're so used to it. They're like, I got to a wreckage there. I mean, big deal.

[Brady]

They knew they had enough time still to not miss the cost.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they. And that's what I admired most. That is a very diligent group of people who are, you know, smart with time. They're. They expedite their days beautifully. They're organized, they're disciplined, and they are scheduled. I say schedule oriented, but I think that might offend them. So they. They actually penciled in a few extra minutes for the wreck to get there. Still at seven. I mean, keep in mind, who wants.

[Brady]

To wreck this week?

[John Holmberg]

By the way, keep in mind, Brady, the show didn't start till 8.

[Brett]

Was it on time?

[John Holmberg]

Huh? I figured the thing was dead nuts on time. The second, you know, 7:59 turned to 8, you just start, well, like, what is going on? Oh, she's starting. I'm like, she opened with that song. Yeah, the big one, the hit. But I was blown away at the. The traffic at 5, 5:30. And then I realized they actually account for the accident. They're gonna get in if they go more than 10 miles to get to the arena. You know, that stereotype is real and there's not. I have seen it. The math work. Sorry. You guys should know better than anybody, the math works out here. Brady didn't go to Chance the Rapper and say Took us a little longer to get there because of all the shootings. No, it's not. Because that's an unfair. It's an unfair statement, but not with Asian drivers. I'm telling you, I'm done. I'm done beating around the bush about this one. Y' all can't drive and get mad at me all you want. I'll just go. All right, well, let's go to Saturday between 5 and 9 o' clock and ask the police. Hey, man, how was your night? Dude. No, it's everybody bashing into everything.

[Brett]

There you go. Did you hear this one?

[John Holmberg]

This is why it hurts. She starts screaming and just incels everywhere with their little flashlights. And I told. I asked Cory. I'm like, do you sing along? And he goes, yeah. Like, do you know what you're doing with it? You know? No. How'd you learn the words? You just listen to it enough. I'm like, you listen to Japanese music enough, you'll pick it up. There's no way she ever stop and.

[Brady]

Let the crowd sing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, the crowd's louder than her. Come on. They know everything about this broad. They're going to revolt against us. In fact, I told Corey, I said, I hope you had a good time. I can read you the text. It scared me a little because he was so quick back with it. But I told him basically, like, hey, I hope you had a nice time. I hope your day went well. I hope your friend shaves his head, because it's the worst. It's the worst thing I've ever seen on a human body.

[Brady]

Did you at least give him some. Get him some wagyu tartar.

[John Holmberg]

So he had the opportunity to get whatever he wanted, right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So I said, order some drinks, boys. I stand at the end of the bar. I have my own little space, the end of bar, like Norm. And they're standing next to me and, like, get whatever you want. So I'm like, I'll have a vodka soda. The boys can have whatever they want. They ordered Cokes. So then I'm like, no grenadine? No, that's what I'm like, get a Darth Vader. Do something. And then so Chris, the other one that was with him, goes, no, that's a rum and Coke. I got a rum and Coke. I'm like, yeah, I think you're lying to me, but okay. And then I'm like, you guys want something to eat? And no, no. I'm like, come on. So next time you're never gonna be down here again, like, no offense, but you're not coming back with me.

[Brady]

Take advantage.

[John Holmberg]

Take advantage of this. Get yourself a steak. Do something.

[Brett]

One and done.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this is it, Ben. Yeah, Come on.

[Brady]

Get yourself a steak.

[John Holmberg]

This is. This is the mail. Okay, I'll get it. Get a wagyu. Go nuts.

[Brady]

Bottle of champagne.

[John Holmberg]

Go nuts. You know what they ordered? They looked. And I'm like, hey, that tartar is great. Oh, I don't do raw food. I'm like, all right, well, you're at a Japanese concert. That's all they do. Get used to it. Your cult leader.

[Brady]

Out loud.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Your cult leader is gonna. Yeah. Don't say raw food is bad. They'll beat you with those flashlights. So then, you know, they ordered the one thing on the menu that I always kind of wondered why it's on the menu. It's tasty. Are these little pigs in a blanket. They're cocktail weenies wrapped in this beautiful, like, pastry croissant, but they're the size of your thumb. So Corey goes, just have the pigs in the blanket. And I'm like, even Drew the bartender's like, that's it. The dude's what? And he goes, yeah, we'll grab something out there. Why? Well, it's okay.

[Brett]

Grab a hot dog.

[John Holmberg]

And so he gets the pigs in a blanket.

[Brady]

There's no hot dogs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the two are hammering away the hammering away. Oh, no, no. They were fish and buns. It's disgusting. Little heads everywhere. So then I looked at Cory. I'm like, you're allowed to get whatever you want. He goes, okay, another round of those. He just ended up getting cocktail weenies. That was it. A couple of. And fries. He got some fries.

[Brett]

Cheaper than taking Dale with you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So Anthony and Aaron just sitting there laughing the whole time. Time of our lives, making fun of this thing. But Cory's such a decent, fine, nice person that you're like, you can't be mad. But I text him. I said, so we poked our heads in to see. This is exactly right. We poked our heads in for a second, Corey, to see what the hell was going on. And I will tell you this. Hitler didn't have that kind of support. Everyone looked like they were having a blast. Thanks for exposing me to this. And it's what I'm now calling the uprising of your people. You're inevitably going to wage war on all of us sex havers with your decorative novelty flashlights. And now I fear you as a group. Corey, within a second, answers, now you recognize our power. Is growing. I'll put in a good word for you so you are spared. Okay. He turned it into one of those quest things. They're gonna have like big, you know, like statues of me at the next larping event. And then, you know, they'll probably try to topple it. Weirdest thing I've ever seen. But that's enough Asian people. Enough of fighting back. You just simply can't drive. That's it.

[Brett]

Ramming speed.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brady]

Plan ahead next time.

[John Holmberg]

80% of black guys have big dicks and Asian people can't drive. Those are the two that are like. It just. It's indisputable. Indisputable. I watch F1. That's an international thing. Nobody Asian in there. NASCAR, come on. None. They don't have one they can't get.

[Brady]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

Women drove before Asians in nascar. Am I right?

[Brett]

Man, it's tossing. I mean, you're right.

[John Holmberg]

Name a couple ladies. It's as big a deal to get an Asian driver. And there might be one, but you never heard of him because he's always crashed out in the first three or four laps.

[Brett]

Who'd you rather ride with? One of them or one of the listeners to the I do show or Danica Patrick are on the track?

[John Holmberg]

Well, first off, the answer to that is very easy. If I rode with one of the listeners of the I do show, their very responsible parents would have been driving 30 year old kids sitting in the back. And that's what they said. I'm like, you know, Corey made no bones about it that most people there were dropped off by their parents. And I'm like, Everybody here is 25. And he goes. And his face was like, yeah.

[Brady]

And your point?

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, oh, okay, I get it. You're right.

[Brett]

It's like they had the pickup line out front and everything else. Like the schools.

[Brady]

Yeah, that drive.

[John Holmberg]

Nightmare. And then every once in a while, a Nissan would just blaze into it for a second.

[Brady]

Driveline buckled.

[John Holmberg]

Crazy. But I, you know, I exposed myself to something new and. And I learned why I don't ever do that. It was awful. It was just an awful show. But Cory's fun and his friends was fun.

[Brady]

So Anthony dude comes back next year.

[John Holmberg]

I might want to visualize.

[Brady]

You'll still go.

[John Holmberg]

I'll go to the raha room and. And yeah, just learn more. I don't know what that was.

[Brett]

Let's just wanna know. Was he ordering sake bombers and Kieran?

[John Holmberg]

Nope. They didn't even have like a special. Like nobody at the rah Rah room cared. They were like, we didn't even know what this was tonight. We just knew there was an event. And I'm like, yeah, they didn't have.

[Brady]

Specials like a pint of ink in a collector's cup.

[John Holmberg]

You get some squid ink. Yeah, see, you guys are both being racist. You're just making racist comments. No, no, I was being. I was being factual. Now you're just throwing out about merch. They should have sold ink. Listen to you, you terrible person. I hope you get run over by a Nissan today. It's a good chance they're going to aim at. You know, the good thing is if they tried to run you down, they'd miss. They'd hit something else on the way in. It made me think that maybe Pearl harbor was just an accident. They didn't mean to do that.

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

Until they miss their target or what.

[John Holmberg]

They were trying to land.

[Brady]

We'Re friendly.

[John Holmberg]

Is it too soon to make fun of Pearl Harbor? I think we thought it was an attack. And tora. Tora. Tora means oh, crap. I don't think there's anything. I think they said kamikaze pilots because that's the only thing that actually makes sense to us. But truth of the matter was, Pearl harbor wasn't an accident. There was just an accident. This guy says, at first I thought you meant some weird Hatsune Miku or K pop crap, but Adu is super famous Japanese artist. She started working to make soundtracks to anime movies. I only know because one of the animes I watch, she did the soundtrack. That's catchy, but it is not for everybody.

[Brett]

No kidding.

[John Holmberg]

I also got to say, if I had brought a bitch out there, I'm getting some. Nobody brought a bitch to this unless you consider your mother a B word. Okay, Christopher DeWitt. The only. This is not good. The only one of those I'm going to an arena to see is the Red Effin Panda. And she hurt herself last night. The Red Panda is.

[Brady]

She did.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she fell off. You didn't see that?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

She had a horrible accident. Broke her arm. She fell off her high chair. Juggling plates and doing what she does. By the way, John, you're fine with what you're talking about. The Nissan GTR is often referred to as Godzilla. I didn't know if that's true or not. Not. I'm not going down that road. I'm not like Brady. I only deal in facts. I don't. I don't start spewing out. They should. Should have served some ink squeeze out some octo ink. No, Brady. But it's true. They all do like it. And yes, it did look like a Godzilla movie. But come on. Doesn't mean you can talk about it freely the way you did. We just know. Anyway, if you're with someone who is Asian, you know, get them a Waymo app and take their car away. I saw it this weekend. It ain't pretty. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? God, I have. I'm dying. So much to give this entire audience Toledo's number to send gay pictures to him for his birthday. That was so much fun. I want everybody else to enjoy that. You have to do some searching on your phone, which is no big deal. It's like hardcore.

[Brett]

I can't imagine what your algorithm looks like.

[John Holmberg]

That's hilarious.

[Brady]

Oh man.

[John Holmberg]

And then I forgot and I opened up my Internet app. I had my phone. I just kind of vegged out. Took my phone away from me for a while yesterday. It's kind of decompressed with the beautiful weather. Put it to the side. And then when I went back to open up the Internet late at night, it just dicks. Loads of dicks. Like oh yeah. And then I sent one again. Oh, here we go. Toledo. Happy bright still. It's not midnight yet. Give us a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one, one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KVD. Wake Up. Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station.

[Brady]

You thought that was funny?

[John Holmberg]

Holberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

98. What the hell is wrong with you? PD Olberg's morning sickness. Gotta get up to here and make you laugh until you peel. They might make you come on dark. Make your cock rides with the sun. We'd like to welcome you to this morning's show with John, Brett and Brady and big dick Toledo. They call us Hobbs but we are not worth miles to nowhere. They speak on controversy. Who's Bobby and Johnny's not. They think Duleepa's great for the faint of heart. They're not. Homer's your least sickness. You gotta get get to hear it. Makes them laugh, makes them cry. In all seriousness and fun. Make your cockris with the sun. We'd like to introduce our main host. They say he looks like Squidward with that big huge nose. Ha ha ha. But that's a prereq. They own the mornings airing over 20 years. Like a blue pill they're still going. Brady comes in Shorts to report the news. He knows. But you can't eat at porkop because it close. Homework's morning sickness. You gotta get up to hear it. Make you laugh until you spiel. Wipe you off when they are done. Make your cock rise with the sun. Homework's morning sickness. You gotta tune in and listen. Tap that up. Yeah, don't get screwed in the end. All in good fun. Big red radio's got you, son. Thank you very much. Miles to nowhere. Katie and the Hob taking care of business right there for starting off today. Monday, glorious weekend. Yesterday I grabbed the basketball and said, you don't get these too often in July. And I played basketball for hours, just like I used to when I was a kid. And now I realize.

[Brady]

Were you doing scenarios? Five seconds left.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, no, no, no, I'm not doing game scenarios, but I have invented my own. I used to play one on none. That's what I called it when I was. I loved going to the park. And even if I was there by myself and I did it in the heat, I think that's where I got used to the heat and activities. But I do one on none, which was, you know, game was full court of just me. If the ball hit the ground first, it went the other way. If you got the rebound out of the, out of the air, it's a, you know, it's a me bound so you can put it back. But I would play a game against myself. Teammate versus team be. Now I'm doing around the World and I play music in the back and I have to go around the key all the way and then around the three point line and back and I try to get all that done before the song that I'm listening to ends. So I'll start a song. And I found a great band yesterday called the Messenger Birds. You'd love them. Yeah, they're great. And so I was listening to their music and you don't know, you don't have this thing because especially help that you know these four and a half minute songs, you don't know when they end. So trying to get all the way around the world and back in four and a half minutes. And man, you gotta chase rebounds, you gotta run all over. I realized probably about an hour after I was done doing that, and I did it for three or four hours that I'm 53 on Friday. And that, that is, that is, that is definitely not a great feeling when your body goes, all right, remember I used to be able to do this a couple times a week you're shut down now for a little bit, son. And my legs just decided to lock. My knees were swollen. I'm like, oh right. I sometimes forget. I'm not. I sometimes forget.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And yeah, I can't talk to people about Roblox. I don't know what that is. Somebody brought that up to me and I'm like, what's Roblox? I don't know what Roblox is. It's a. I live in a different world. Yeah, but it was so nice out. I kind of got lost in the idea that you could be out in this stuff all day long and play and have fun around. It was perfect weather. Just absolutely perfect. But in moderation. Dummy does.

[Brett]

And it goes back up to Satan's a hole.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's. Well, you know, we. That is what we're signed up for.

[Brett]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But when we get a little gift like we've gotten yesterday and today again, another one got DJ Khaled doing our weather right now. It's like, what's today like? Dj? Another one. Perfect. We'll go outside three more hours. This one says, John, I was listening to your talk about Edu. I've been an anime fan for years. Not a huge fan of the culture however. But I do have to refute those anime nerds aren't getting laid because usually it's 150 pound feminine male that uses depression and poor me tactics. Until a 350 pound blue haired girl says it's okay and then they sleep together. I think she more absorbs him. Then they sleep together and then they reproduce. I however was cursed with a dick that doesn't like fat and ugly. So I never wanted to partake in it personally. You might be right because you've described most of the audience, 150 pound man girls who are wearing clothes that are for 150 pound girl. But they're literally probably 220, 225. And then yeah, then they absorb the small twink like boy and procreate and make more fans for a day.

[Brett]

I'd rather not get laid.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe that's why they're incels. They look around, they're like. Yeah. And this one says, John, the. What you described from Saturday's show is the first time that the masked singer makes sense to me. Maybe that's how it got started. Or that's how they.

[Brady]

Interesting.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? You might be right. I don't understand the masked singer because they say it's for families. I don't know one dad that would find it entertaining. And I don't know one kid that cares that when you take the ladybug's hat off, it's Anna Gasteyer from 1990's Saturday Night Live. What kid cares about that? Oh, my gosh, it's Anna Gasteyer. Like, who? From Sweaty Balls Kids. No, you don't. Okay, never mind. She looks old. Cause we haven't seen her for 25 years. Like, oh, yeah, I forgot about it. You.

[Brett]

There's times that I'm like, who is that?

[John Holmberg]

No idea.

[Brett]

A few times I've turned it on. I'm like, I have no idea.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It's stars from the 90s that even weed them. Weren't even. Yeah, yeah. Like who? It's Cinemax late night superstar Kari Wearer. I'm like, she's still alive. Yeah. I don't know why you take the hats off. I still. I still don't get the ma.

[Brady]

That's not Bridget Fonda the man.

[John Holmberg]

No. Bridget Fonda wouldn't even wear. She wouldn't even have to wear the outfit. And we're like, who the hell is that? That. What happened to that lady? Like, would you like to reveal yourself? I'm. I'm what Bridget Fonda turned into. Oh, my God. It's Bridget Fonda, everybody. Yeah. I don't. I've never. That one baffles me more than being entertained by eating. Like, I watch eating shows, and I'm like, who's at home going, man, if only I had food in my life and I could eat. Like, that guy does. Like, eating shows confuse me. Cooking shows, little different eating shows baffle me. You don't get a recipe. You don't get anything.

[Brady]

You don't burn out on Fair Foods, Carnival eats.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not going to a fair. No. Here. I'm gonna go eat. Film me eatin'. And people are like, I'll watch that. Like, what masked singer Makes less sense to me than eating shows. We have a whole network on it. Food Network dude's eating, and America laps it up. I'm so. I bet you 80% of people who watch those channels lick their screen on the tv. Just go and lick it the whole time.

[Brett]

Watch the masked singer.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're watching the eating shows. They might lick the masked singer too. Brett. That would be weird. But no, that fair guy that Brady's talking about that runs around goes, here's a corn dog dipped in human. I'm gonna eat. It's not very good. And I just Think, think. There's just fat America just licking the screen. Oh, food. We're all out of it.

[Brett]

My problem is that they never have anything bad.

[John Holmberg]

Of course.

[Brett]

I mean, it's always like, my beef.

[John Holmberg]

With Guy Fury is, yeah, all, all carney food. Everybody says, yeah, oh, I'd love to try that. And I'm like, why? It could be horrible. Yeah. But Guy Fieri liked it. Like, no, he was paid to do it.

[Brett]

He likes everything. He doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

Reviewing it. It's a commercial. You're watching a commercial commercial and you're watching the most annoying man in the world eat something and then tell you it's amazing. It's like, of course he is.

[Brady]

And there's some vetting. Obviously you're going to places that people talk about in the city. So like, oh, you gotta go here.

[John Holmberg]

No, there's not.

[Brady]

Every once in a while you look.

[John Holmberg]

Back and you said, okay, there's nobody vetting anything. It's whoever volunteers, like, to you. And then he seeks out like, we, we're talking about coming to your thing. Most of those restaurants are like begging to be on. On. It's a commercial because they know Guy's not going to go, this sucks. We'll be back with more Triple D in a minute. They're like, what just happened? I'm like, your food's horrible. And he leaves. I'd have more respect for him. He wouldn't do that. He's a. And this one said, john, your show on Saturday said you said they needed all that security so they don't find out what her identity is. Believe me, the identity would remain a secret. I could take a 4K picture of her and still couldn't figure out of a lineup and all right, it's probably true. If ADU just wandered around, you took a picture and go, this is her. Take a picture of any Asian woman and say it's her. And people are going to be like, probably there's a MASH singer, Terry Bradshaw popped out of one of the hats. There's no kid out there going, oh, that's my idol. You got to be like 60 to love Terry Bradshaw enough to go, oh, there he is. On the Masked Singer. This one said, oh, it's Gloria Gaynor. Donovan says, yeah, who? What? Why?

[Brett]

She's already got a singing career.

[John Holmberg]

Says, my seven year old daughter loves that show. And to be honest, when Rudy Giuliani was on it, it was amazing to see the audience, their face a beautiful mix of WTF and anger all at once. When Rudy popped Out.

[Brett]

Didn't one of them walk off?

[John Holmberg]

Sean Spicer was on and Ken Yong left the show.

[Brett]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, because they had to make a political statement on the masked singer, cuz that'll get life. Look, but maybe they're right, because right now, Trump, I don't know what he's up to, but he's trying to get the Redskins back. And I. I don't know if that's the biggest thing on the agenda right now, but I was dying laughing.

[Brady]

That was number four, because it was. Oh, the Indian sugar Coke.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, he got that.

[Brett]

He got their attention, getting things done.

[John Holmberg]

The next thing was the. I don't know what a guardian is. I don't know what that is. Cleveland, I'm very upset. Change it back in. Wow. At it. Redskins. That was great. Was an honorable thing. Very. The tribute to those glorious engines.

[Brett]

I was going to say one of the Indians coming back. Is that one, too.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, I just heard that. I heard the command.

[John Holmberg]

He said guardians.

[Brett]

Oh, I heard the command.

[John Holmberg]

Don't like the guardians. Don't like that. Don't know what that is. Indians, bring it back. That was nice. And while we're at it, let's do the Redskins. We gotta do the Redskins. Bring back the logo at the very least. Call yourself what you want, but what's a commander?

[Brady]

Commander.

[John Holmberg]

What's a commander? It was Biden's dog and it bit everybody. It was an awful name. Yeah. So he's, you know, he's got some. Some world problems, some geopolitical nightmares, a few things going on on the globe that are a little bit messy, but took the weekend to want to change back to the Redskins because I'm all for it, but.

[Brady]

Good timing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Football's about to start. I gotta get. I gotta get the fight. The UFC fight already. Gotta get the lawn ready and the tables and the snacks for the big ufc White House fight and also Redskins. Two things on the agenda right there in the Oval Office that I don't care about. All this Israel stuff, that's over. What about the Redskins Skins? And then we got to go down the list. Brett St. John's you're not the. The Red Hawks. That's dumb. The Red Men. That's what you used to be. That's what you'll be forever.

[Brady]

Will Mike Lindell come out with the Trump compression socks?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's got them puffy veins. Maybe we're Mike Lindo for my sock. Are your veins puffy? Is he okay? His pillow again. I watch Fox News every Once in a while. And all the commercials are about going to sleep. Got my pillow. Bill O'Reilly's talking about some sleep aid. There's another one. It's like, man, I can't get to rest. It's the Huckabee. Do you like your bed? You gotta get a new bed. You gotta get a new bed. I'm Mike Huckabee and you'll listen to me. Get a new bed. I know Riley's on there going, take these pills, you get some sleep. Get some decent sleep. You watch the news all day. You go to bed scared you're not getting good sleep. Go to sleep and then try these pillows. Next commercial is going to be for the pillows in the bed that Hugaby sells and the pills that I sell. Everything about that station is everyone's endorsing a good night's rest. That's it. That's. And it's hilarious. And then every once in a while, Sylvester Stallone and his hair plugs talks to that guy from Tunnel for Towers. That seems reasonably nice.

[Brady]

You guys are doing good things.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, yo. You know, I really like what you're doing. Climbing, handing money veterans. Thanks for being part of it, Sly. Ew. And then it's over. And I'm like, what just happened? That guy's just glad handing stars. And I had my. I had my. I thought I was broken. I thought cynically I couldn't be. I didn't think that I had anyone. I'm like, that's. That's a group of people that, that stick to their guns, you know, I thought for sure that there was a group out there that I don't know.

[Brady]

If that there was rock solid in their belief.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this, this shook me because I thought, oh, I didn't think anybody else could disappoint me anymore. I thought all the people that were going to be disappointing as groups would do it. Like, as you get older, I always say, never meet your hero. Gross. Yeah, all your hairs are. And you start realizing that cynicism kicks in and, and it starts to become like, oh, that's a. Oh, they're stealing from everybody. Oh, I thought I could be in this group, but they're bad. Oh, this is. The church sells babies. You know, every religion that tries it. And I thought the one that was like, you know what, It's a goofy one. But they seem pretty disciplined and they seem true to what they believe. And that's those weirdo monks in the old orange coats, you know, I'm talking about the Thai monks.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They get quiet for a year. They live in some house together. I'm like, never once have I heard news of them being a crooked mess. And Tibetan monks, Thai monks, they're always. They're always seemingly, like, super peaceful and nice and, like, you guys are all doing it wrong. And I'm like, if it wasn't for the outfits and, like, where you live. And it seems peaceful and, like, they get it, and they're comfortable with it. Well, the headline, Thai woman arrested for blackmailing monks with thousands of videos after sex that they had hired some Thai lady to go through. What do they call those things? Monk Monasteries.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they're wandered around in there with their incense and quiet. Nobody. Evidently, they're temples. All those dudes are doing is tie broads on the side. And they brought them in while she videotaped it all. And now she's holding monks hostage with videotapes. It was the last group that you'd ever expect to hear from. Like, you know, Mormons are liars, Catholics are liars, atheists are liars. All of them have these fake beliefs. That guy and his crew, they seemed like they were committed to the idea of whatever it is they do. Nah, they're just out there on the side, too, and stealing money. They're monks.

[Brett]

They got cash. I mean, I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Evidently, it's all. It's all fake. I thought that one was real. It's all fake. Says police have arrested a woman who allegedly had sexual relationship with monks. That phrase right there is weird. And then use the photos and videos to extort money from monks. Now, that is true, Brett. I would have. If I was going to extort a group of people for cash, it certainly wouldn't be oh, monks. The woman that the Police are calling Ms. Golf had sex with nine of the monks. Police at a press conference on Tuesday believes that she received 385 million bot. Care to guess?

[Brady]

50 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

$50. Brady. Brady shows that 385 million. I'm gonna go 300 of 50American dollars.

[Brett]

I'll go 300 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

That is the most. That is so pro American. Brady, that was great stuff.

[Brady]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, you're a nationalist. What did you say?

[Brett]

Oh, 300 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

300. Or is equally racist. I think that these people. Their v. The value of their money is toilet paper. That's $11.9 million.

[Brady]

That's some good bot.

[John Holmberg]

That's decent bot.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it's still absurd that it's almost 400 million to our 11, but.

[Brett]

Monk crank Is worth that much, Monk?

[John Holmberg]

Not only that. Monks had that laying around, man. They said they searched her house and found 8,80,000 photos and videos to blackmail the monks. So she was there a lot.

[Brady]

80,000.

[Brett]

80,000. What a horror.

[John Holmberg]

Monk porn videos which. Search it. It doesn't exist until now.

[Brett]

Have you tried.

[Brady]

How did she set that?

[John Holmberg]

I did it when I read this.

[Brett]

Did you?

[John Holmberg]

I read this. I read this over the weekend. I'm like, monk porn?

[Brett]

Pornhub. Don't have one on it yet.

[John Holmberg]

Looked up monk. They have a couple. Okay. But it's like a dude like me in an orange thing getting seduced by Madison Ivy. It's Johnny sins and Madison Ivy.

[Brett]

Okay, all right.

[John Holmberg]

Just a bald guy that just goes, oh, oh. And then she's like, oh, he's in a vow. Yeah, that's right. That's it. Because it's a vow of sile silence. And he's not allowed to make noise when he's the only one. I found monk porn. I mean, I finished. I know how it ends. Yeah, I was asleep. Says the scandal is the latest. Iraq. Thailand's much reviewed.

[Brady]

Did she hide the camera? It was interesting how, you know, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

They were into it. It says they're Thailand's much revered Buddhist institution, which in recent years has been plagued with allegations of monk monks engaging in sex and drugs. Ah, you guys were the last ones. Police say they first came to their attention in mid June when they learned that they were in Bangkok. Had suddenly left. A guy had left the monkhood because he was extorted by a woman. Mrs. Golf had a relationship with this guy in May of 2024. Claimed she was gonna have his baby. She needed some child support from monk daddy.

[Brett]

Wait, her name is Mrs. Ms.

[John Holmberg]

Golf?

[Brett]

Oh, I tasted Mrs. I was like, oh, now she's more.

[John Holmberg]

Of a. Yeah, she tried to hit him up for 7 million bot, which might be closer to the 50 and 300 you guys were banging around. They discovered that the. When they looked into this, like, did this monk knock this broad up? She's like, yep. And they started to look into it, and they, like, some of these monks look different. And I know that saying something. She goes, oh, yeah, I bang all those monks. Like, oh, no. So they had to go back with videos and go, guys, identify. I'm gonna need some to start talking. And then everybody's like, we don't do that. And you find out their vow of silence is just not to talk to the police. Now she's facing multiple charges, including extortion, money laundering, and receiving stolen goods. They've opened a hotline. This is my. This is the best band name ever. What I'm about to say. If you have a band, change the name. I want to see several marquees in this city that say this. The police have opened up a hotline in the area for people to report. Here we go. Misbehaving monks. I love it. Misbehaving monks live at the Anvil. Morning sickness. Holy sickness. Anyway, so the whole Buddhist thing is garbage as well. And I knew that, you know, when. When women in Paradise Valley start doing Buddhism, you know, no offense to Ronnie.

[Brady]

Those guys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And she starts whipping out the. The singing bowls and their eastern philosophies. And you got Chinese writing on your wife's walls at home. Because she turned 45, she didn't know what to do with herself, so she started thinking that she was a eastern Asian.

[Brady]

Well, there's a little session last night.

[John Holmberg]

You did some bull stuff. Smoking bull.

[Brady]

Not me. Ronnie got invited to the Bulls. And you float in the pool, and then the one lady sits on the deck and does the sound bowls.

[John Holmberg]

She went over to somebody's house.

[Brady]

Floating meditation. Yeah.

[Brett]

Brady had a bowl of ice cream. He didn't have.

[John Holmberg]

I'd have had to, honestly.

[Brady]

And it made a delicious sound.

[John Holmberg]

I would have had to go, like, if she did. If, like, if I hear that, it's like, I'm going over to a friend's house and we're gonna do sounding bowls and float in the pool. I'm like, you're lying. I'm gonna. I'm gonna follow you. I don't.

[Brady]

Almost did.

[John Holmberg]

There's no way I believe that. That's true. I'm going to. You're. You're definitely. You're definitely having sex with, like a strange woman. That's a lie. Nobody. Nobody wants to do that. Do it at home. Just play, you know, Spotify monk sounds. Lay in your own pool. What do you have to go to some lady's house? She's got powers. She lives in Gilbert. She doesn't have that many powers. If she had powers, she'd be in a better sense city. And if she had life figured out with her bowls, she wouldn't be living in a community with you guys. She'd be on a mountain.

[Brady]

I thought about that, cuz I'm like, man, am I buying into this?

[John Holmberg]

You are. You got lied to. That's a lie. Nobody does that for. No, no. On a Sunday.

[Brady]

Through an hour. It's an hour.

[John Holmberg]

That's all it took yeah, there was definitely hose clean off. Go home. There's no way that was real. And you know, kudos to her for coming up with such a grand plan, but that nobody does that like you. And it's so boring.

[Brett]

There's some monk stuff for you that.

[John Holmberg]

You would keep it to yourself thinking, yeah, this, you go and laid in a pool, some lady doing this. No way. Nobody does this. Yeah, I definitely like, I need to see this. I need all of this. Well, you want to go with? Yeah. Because I know this story was designed to make me go bleh. Keep me away from that smartest thing in the world. Imagine trying that on her going over to John's. We're gonna play some sounding bowls and float in the pool. No, you're not. You're having an affair. But what? There's no way that's real. Nobody does this for entertainment. There's no way. Good Christ.

[Brett]

Tibetan monks ohm chanting.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is it working? Does she come home better, different, worn out, I'm guessing.

[Brady]

I don't know. I was just.

[John Holmberg]

I think. Yeah. I gotta tell you, I think my legs after three hours of basketball are probably in better shape than hers today. Woo.

[Brady]

That was a doozy.

[John Holmberg]

After her. She might be going over there and just smoking bowls with ladies. That makes sense. I'm gonna go over to Teresa's house and smoke some balls and float in the pool. I'm like, yeah, that makes sense. That's real.

[Brady]

Went out of her way. I mean, there's the towel and all the stuff that she had.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you gotta keep the towel down. Yeah, you gotta bring a towel to that. She's gonna get coated. This can't come home untoweled.

[Brady]

Like, what. What's on this towel?

[John Holmberg]

She had the nerve to leave for this phoniness to her bukake party and she actually took her own towel. Byot was on the invite. And you're like, that makes sense. But you gotta ask more questions. Brady, the wife of the CEO at Coldplace. Like, maybe he's telling the truth. Brady. No way. Nobody does this. I can't believe it. But then again, the name was the.

[Brady]

Same name as the CEO from which I thought was interesting.

[John Holmberg]

Andy.

[Brady]

Yeah, they're having it at Andy's house. The guy, the CEOs? No, I'm just kidding.

[Brett]

Oh, there's nothing else going on.

[John Holmberg]

It's like, wait a minute. There was a man there. Something men never would do.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Me and the boys are heading to Vegas this week. Weekend. Bring the sounding bowls. Said no man ever. This yeah. You got some questions on your hands. Just throw it out there. I don't believe you. See what? She starts to scramble. There's no way I buy that.

[Brady]

Tell me about last night.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, don't even talk about. She gets stories back. She's seen it online. You can make it. Just. I want to go over there and try it. Can I come? I bet you're not allowed in there.

[Brady]

Probably not. Is it, like, you would probably disrupt the.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. I'll be good at a feng shui.

[Brett]

Or whatever it is.

[John Holmberg]

I want to go to that.

[Brady]

I mean, I've heard the sound bowls before.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's heard that. It was used to be a novelty act on Ed Sullivan. People play glasses, lick your finger, and they just floated in some lady's presidential.

[Brady]

Pool and do some, you know, mantras. I think that's what I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that was some rhythmic chanting, singing.

[Brett]

Bowls just for sleep.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want to go to sleep in the pool.

[Brady]

That's what I said. We were saying there's gonna be some drownings.

[John Holmberg]

Do you remember the hell.

[Brady]

You have the floaties.

[John Holmberg]

The hail. They had to wear arm floaties.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They went out.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. You're being lied. I put the floaties on. I just get relaxed by a bunch of monks. When Ronnie's walking through the house today, go, excuse me, Ms. Golf. And if she turns her head, go, aha. They're banging a bunch of Buddhist monks.

[Brady]

Let me see some videos.

[John Holmberg]

I got my towel. I've got my penis enlarger and my lubricant. It's time for the sounding bowl party.

[Brett]

Why would she go to this?

[John Holmberg]

She's going crazy.

[Brady]

That's why she trained. Trained? She trained for this stuff?

[John Holmberg]

To lay in a lady's pool and listen. I can do that, and I don't need training.

[Brady]

That was something different.

[Brett]

That's like. Because it's like being a life coach or something, man.

[John Holmberg]

I can lay in a pool and listen. I don't need any training.

[Brady]

I can play. Yeah, I could have played that on the. Over the speed.

[John Holmberg]

Found it like this in minutes. Get in the pool, float around outside.

[Brady]

Maybe I'll do that this afternoon.

[John Holmberg]

You should try it. What are you doing? I'm just floating around with sounding bowls. You're not trained.

[Brett]

Fire up the Sonos and go to town.

[John Holmberg]

What's the worst that can happen? You could kill myself. I think it's pretty easy to float. I got this. I don't need training. I got it.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm sleeping in the Pool.

[John Holmberg]

I made it. Wow. Wow. There better be a purpose. There better be like a come home purpose with that.

[Brady]

She better be happy.

[John Holmberg]

No more complaining. If you're pulling that nonsense off on Sundays. You got life figured out.

[Brady]

Fair. I want you to be happy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Be happy doing that too. But just don't lie about it. That's the worst lie I've ever heard. Going to a girl's house for sounding bold.

[Brett]

Oh, man. It's a six hour song.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brett]

Literally six hours and 12 minutes. I can play that Tantric. Yeah.

[Brady]

They did it for about an hour, hour and a half. And then she was home.

[John Holmberg]

Why? In a post. That was it. She came home right after.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Came home. She brought her towels.

[John Holmberg]

Taldov came home. What'd your wife do? That's all right. She got all wet. Tell them. Came home.

[Brady]

I thought for sure it would be the evening like you said. Then they cracked wine open.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then start being girls. But just in hour. Yep, that's it. Gotta go.

[Brett]

Crandall wants. No. Jesus, John. Are we already doing Palladio? This is hurting my head.

[John Holmberg]

Brad's got a problem with bowls in his house. Kirby's smoking them, and Ronnie's listening to him.

[Brady]

I'm the only one eating out.

[John Holmberg]

The only one eating out of bowl. You're the only one doing things with bowls. That is Okay.

[Brady]

I looked at that sound bowl. I'm like, man, you could put a big thing of ice cream in there.

[John Holmberg]

This person's worried that Ronnie has the same diction issues Brady has where, like, you hear something and it's not really what he said. Brady. Brady. I'm pretty sure Ronnie went to an edging bull party, not a singing bull party. A bunch of lesbians just working around the edges. Back in an hour after I towel off. Bye. Bye. That's probably true. True.

[Brady]

God bless you.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't believe that for a second. And maybe it is real, but I just. And I'm not saying she's lying. I just can't believe anybody would do that. You need to go next time. Put the fear of God in her. I want in.

[Brady]

I'm tracking. I'm tracking.

[John Holmberg]

Throw your stupid. I'm sure you got one of them beach towels. It's like a hundred dollar bill or something. Silly. Throw that over your shoulder. Didn't I give you one of that mentally challenged Sean? Yeah, throw Sean over your shoulder and just in a pair of Speedos and like some ducky arm floaties.

[Brett]

I mean, bring your Hooters towel. You always have those for the Calendar shoot. You know, I'm sure the women will appreciate that.

[Brady]

That's right. Underneath Varney towel.

[John Holmberg]

And if she looks at you with pie eyes and goes, you're not trained, you'll be like, I'm going with. The last thing she'll expect is you wanting to be a part of that. And don't women always want you to be a part of their thing? I just want you to want to do some things that I want to do.

[Brady]

Yeah. Interesting. Never got the invite.

[John Holmberg]

We only do things you want to do. I don't like golf, but I'll do it with you. How come you don't float in the neighbor's pool with sounding balls? Cause suicide's wrong. And then it just wraps up and everybody gets out.

[Brady]

Where is it? And she's like, please tell. We're meeting at the Royal Inn. Like I've heard of that place.

[John Holmberg]

The next inn. They closed yours for this very reason. And then an hour. And the lady's like, all right, that's it. Please, please, please tell me. Oh, dear God, please tell me. Brett ready? Yeah. She didn't pay for this, did she?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

That he knows of.

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure? Because it sounds like there was a time limit if she was only on.

[Brady]

I'm pretty sure. But I will double check.

[Brett]

See if she gives this lady she.

[Brady]

Trained with with that does classes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And they try to create new classes that cost money.

[John Holmberg]

This lady's not working for free.

[Brady]

They'll do it to get feedback from other instructors.

[John Holmberg]

So she's practicing.

[Brady]

Yeah. The. The one lady that's doing the sounding.

[John Holmberg]

Polls at the end, you get a review. A Yelper.

[Brady]

Yeah. Do you think this. You think people would like to do this class? Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why she came home right away.

[John Holmberg]

Man, you got. You'd never ask enough questions.

[Brett]

What a grift.

[John Holmberg]

You. And I get it. I don't know that I would on this one either, outside of. Well, that was a lie.

[Brett]

What if Megan came home and did that?

[John Holmberg]

That was a lie. How was the dick? What? You heard me. I didn't. I listened to bulls, and I'm like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You didn't do it. That. And if you did, you're the least interesting human being I know, so I hope you got some dick. I listen to bulls. And I told you I would lie about that. I would.

[Brady]

In fact, if I've been asleep on that thing, even if.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you this right now, laying.

[Brady]

In the pool last night.

[John Holmberg]

I would prefer if I was told I'm gonna go out and take some dick for an hour. I'll be home in a little bit. Like, that's not true. You're gonna listen to them bulls again, aren't you?

[Brett]

Sounds reasonable.

[Brady]

Is this code?

[John Holmberg]

This is code for that bull party you go to. God damn it. No, you get out there and take some dick. Oh, all right, fine. Yeah, Shock the world.

[Brady]

I asked a couple of questions.

[John Holmberg]

What time are gonna be off so you could. Jerk. So the person.

[Brady]

They're just.

[John Holmberg]

Is there a man in that house?

[Brett]

No.

[Brady]

They're not allowed.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Brianny's question normally. Oh, that's a woman who lives alone.

[Brady]

Oh, no, I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

That lady lives alone.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I guarantee you her. Her hand is tan with zero circles. Oh, no. If there is a dude there, he's got a ponytail and he's making tea. He's. And he's just vibing in the. He's Brad from Fast Times in the pool house. Just tugging away the ladies laying there.

[Brett]

He's got Knock anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Comatose while this goes on.

[Brady]

He's got the sweat tent ready to go for him out of the pool. Pool.

[John Holmberg]

Go B. All right, ladies, now we're going to shave Brad's chest. Oh, God. What's happening at the ball party? Do you think everyone would like that class with this obnoxious, like, air raid siren noise in the back while we shave my husband's chest? Mine's a melanoma. He has to go see the doctor on Tuesday. About those. Brett and I both with no ask, though. Did that cost us money?

[Brett]

Only question he had was the spread.

[John Holmberg]

What's the spread look like? Did they feed her?

[Brady]

No, just 7:30 at night. Yeah, well, you could still eat.

[Brett]

7:30. What night was this?

[John Holmberg]

Yesterday?

[Brady]

It was last night.

[Brett]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say 7:30 Sunday night, sunset float, spontaneous bowl party. Oh, spontaneous. No, I was gonna say it wasn't like, let's do this, I'll meet you.

[Brady]

Well, I mean, she was contacted bikini. Few hours before nudity.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Yeah.

[Brett]

All right, now that sounds good.

[John Holmberg]

What are we doing with the outfit?

[Brady]

There are.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're bikini songs. Maybe it starts to get hot after a little bit.

[Brady]

I. You know, I gotta find out.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying.

[Brady]

How many people were there?

[John Holmberg]

Who's there? Yeah, what are we looking at? I'd much rather be completely baffled by a side piece than I would find out this was going on.

[Brett]

I was gonna Google sounding videos, but something Else came up. I didn't want to do that, so.

[John Holmberg]

I'd rather, I'm told I'm gonna go sound with a couple of ladies and male prostitutes we met. Oh, okay. That sounds more reasonable than the creepy culture. Joining this is Hale Bob. These people are chasing comets.

[Brady]

Getting closer.

[John Holmberg]

I never thought that when I started that sentence. Brady, no offense with the sounding bolts, which is weird and we all know it. And you're like, she has parties and I have no question.

[Brady]

There she goes.

[Brett]

This is still the same song playing too. Nine minutes in, we only have five and a half hours more left.

[John Holmberg]

I don't need training. I can play this whole album.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, I'm appreciating it.

[John Holmberg]

I can do this for six hours. I don't know. Maybe that's the. That's the training is to try to remain awake during this noise. Wow. Ronnie, come on. Come up with a better one. Shaggy had a better story. Yeah, wasn't me.

[Brett]

Look, there's playlists for this and everything on Spotify. Here, check this out.

[John Holmberg]

I can hand it to you, Brady. You're one of the most trusting people I've ever met in my life. Because most guys wives leave. I'll be back in an hour and they take a towel with them.

[Brett]

Look at this podcast. Sex, drugs and sound bowls.

[John Holmberg]

There it is. What the hell is this sound bowl? I'd rather go to Adu again than Corey.

[Brady]

Those are the ones that good? Yes. Which ones?

[John Holmberg]

The ones over on the right that light up.

[Brett]

Well, that's what this is.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

That's what's playing. Yeah, because those 10 minutes.

[Brady]

That looks like brass right there. But that's got to be a more of a tone.

[Brett]

How much are these bowls too?

[Brady]

They're not cheap.

[Brett]

Oh, really?

[John Holmberg]

No, he's not happy about that. I told me about that a while ago. So Brady is annoyed Ronnie enough that she's now banging the guy who stole his generator. That's. God, that's the only. That's more reasonable than that. Yeah, I agree. That's a crazy story.

[Brady]

Is that what we're down to now? Floating strangers pool?

[John Holmberg]

It's not even like a good friend.

[Brady]

No, she didn't know.

[John Holmberg]

She didn't even know.

[Brady]

Friend of the instructor that took some classes. She's gonna get traffic of the girls that she trained with trains going over to another girl's pool, and we're doing it there.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to be a jerk, but I gotta ask guy questions because most guys would have this. What's the ROI or long Term results or benefits of paying for bowl playing training.

[Brett]

You're gonna piss Brady off.

[John Holmberg]

I. I don't mean to, but you're right.

[Brady]

I'll just answer it. Well, with wnba, pay us what you owe us.

[John Holmberg]

Did you pay to train her to play bowls?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

So she learned on her.

[Brady]

No, but she. No. Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She doesn't know how to play them.

[Brady]

I think you can just buy the bowl.

[John Holmberg]

I think I can pick it up with a wet finger in a bowl.

[Brady]

You can?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Is there like an Eddie Van Halen of bowls and stuff like that? I mean is there like, you know.

[Brady]

Like if you go to training.

[John Holmberg]

She does the taps.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Player interruption on the bowls.

[Brady]

I mean yoga training is all about.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yoga's anatomy. Sure, sure.

[Brady]

You gotta understand the out the totally get an Alphabet.

[Brett]

Breathing.

[John Holmberg]

Yoga's the thing.

[Brady]

Breathing the body.

[John Holmberg]

Yoga is a thing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's a proven commodity. You can make money on yoga.

[Brady]

300 or 500 level one of the two.

[John Holmberg]

That's awesome. Good for her there because you can actually turn that into a job.

[Brady]

What I know on paper.

[John Holmberg]

Don't. Don't let it out here. We'll do it off there. Don't let it out here. You don't want more trouble. You're going to hit head one of these balls. Yes, you can. Yes, you can that into a job.

[Brady]

Yeah. If you would like to and if you put your mind to it to.

[John Holmberg]

Know there's some ambition behind it. You can do yoga as a job.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Right. I don't think there's a big call for bowl players. I don't think that's going to pay your mortgage with.

[Brady]

You're not going to do. You know, you can do those classes every night and then you change it up.

[John Holmberg]

What classes though? What is like you do yoga but.

[Brady]

You'Ll have the singing bowls.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Brady]

Somebody right now a real. And maybe it's been around a lot longer, but the breathing now breathing's been.

[John Holmberg]

Around the whole time. Ready?

[Brady]

But breathing is, you know, a mantra as meditation.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Yep. The bowls though. An hour.

[Brady]

Then you incorporate the balls.

[John Holmberg]

An hour on a scrap Sunday in someone's pool and the lady's like, do you think people would want to do this?

[Brady]

I don't know about that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what you said the whole point.

[Brady]

Right. Maybe there was. That's how I'm figuring. Maybe they're. They're doing this. But then again they could have just said let's just get the polls and.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn'T it feel a bit abrupt to just make it an hour and say that's it. Everyone out.

[Brady]

Could have been a little bit. 90 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

What? Okay, so you weren't paying any attention. You have no idea. You're just watching Scheffler win again.

[Brady]

Two hour turnaround.

[John Holmberg]

To Brady. Everybody raise your glasses to Brady. Raise your bowls. The world's either smartest, dumbest or most trusting man I've ever met. Where are you going in your bathing suit and towel bowl. Singing party K Bye. Yeah. God damn it. He bought it.

[Brady]

Comes back to my dad. You can't stop a moving train.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you can ask a question like why are we staying on the tracks?

[Brady]

Well, he left that part out.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. Yeah. The whole purpose of standing on the tracks is the bigger thing than the moving train.

[Brady]

I'll find out because I. You know. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And by the way. Yeah, you can. Trains have breaks.

[Brady]

Takes a while.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but with a little gum assumption that train comes to a halt. It's not like Snowpiercer. I just have more questions than you. What's with the towel? You're just leaving? I'll be back in an hour. It just looks. It looks just different than what you're saying is going to happen. If Matthiah left to the bar, we're going to be in the back floating in the walk in freezer. Thought I'd dress.

[Brady]

At least she can go ham. I'm heading to work. I gotta open.

[John Holmberg]

That's again.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Let the bitterness live off the air. You're gonna get yelled at for that. Don't do that. That was painfully bitter. Don't do.

[Brady]

I'm saying as far as to have her.

[John Holmberg]

You know what you're saying. You're not going to make it better.

[Brady]

You know. Got to go to work early.

[John Holmberg]

Don't dig your heels in here. Get off that hill. It's not. It's not going to be good. Just relax. You got seven more minutes. And everybody out. I don't get it.

[Brady]

She's working today and.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And. Oh yeah. And how come you don't say I want in?

[Brett]

This would be Brady.

[John Holmberg]

That's Brady. We beg you.

[Brady]

Let us have the night.

[John Holmberg]

Let him ask it. Yeah. Is she the golden child? Do we not know?

[Brady]

Might be.

[Brett]

There's Brady.

[John Holmberg]

I said I want the knife lady mask again. Okay. Eddie had questions.

[Brady]

He found out.

[John Holmberg]

What were you doing while this was going on? When she left. And you didn't know it was happening?

[Brady]

No, I did.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no. When she left. I'm just saying like this wasn't a part of the weekend plan. It just kind of appeared.

[Brady]

Yeah, it was kind of relatively spontaneous.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they're sitting on the couch.

[Brady]

She goes, you know, it was like five o', clock, four o'. Clock. She's like, you know what? I just got invited. So and so is having this. She's gonna do some the scene bowls.

[John Holmberg]

I want to go.

[Brady]

I think I want to go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just to see your face. Just to see her face. What? It would shock her. You could electrocute her. And she'd have a better looking eyeball than you saying, I want to go to the bowl party. What's in those bowls? Nancy washes and makes a pie and Brady eats it in the storm drain. That's crazy. You're living a crazy life. That's a crazy person's life.

[Brady]

Kirby and I watched a couple episodes of quarterback.

[Brett]

My weekend was boring.

[John Holmberg]

I've never heard anything like this.

[Brady]

Your mom's heading to the bowl party.

[John Holmberg]

Where's mom going with a squeegee and towel? Dad, I don't know. Bowl party.

[Brady]

After Kirby came home from pulling the double.

[John Holmberg]

She's working double time. Kirby's throwing. She's paying the bills. She's chipping in. Where's mom going? My legs are killing me. Somebody get a meal on the table. Bowl party. Dad, are you gonna say anything? Who cares?

[Brady]

Five minutes. Quarterback starting.

[John Holmberg]

The old man's checked out. Wow. Anyway, if she starts coming back and saying things like, I'm going to cold prey. I mean, coldplay. Oh, God. She's getting the accident. She's getting the accent. Fascinating. Brady. All this coming from some lady banging a bunch of monks and crushing my. My naivete, my hope for humanity. Another little. Hate to say it, little chink in that armor is cool. I know. That's the only thing I think of. I'm sorry, man. It's a phrase, though. Yeah, just one little chunk. I'll say. Even that's just a fat one.

[Brett]

Brady, you got to nip this in.

[John Holmberg]

The bud big time.

[Brady]

Shut it down. No more bowl parties.

[Brett]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

No, you just. I. It's just. I want to see it. I want to see it. Oh. There's a thing now called hot wifing, by the way. Maybe you should look at into that.

[Brady]

Is it like hot yoga?

[John Holmberg]

Nope. It's basically where you take your wife who looks good, and you like to watch her have sex with other guys, but it's. It's not kind of cucking. Cucking is more that she brings a dude and then you're not allowed to bang her. I learned this this weekend. Hot wifing is a dude presenting his wife for other people. Like it is cucking. But it's like cucking is usually when she's doing it to you. Like it kind of almost like he's not allowed in. This dude's like, I want. Want to not have sex with her. You do it and then your hot.

[Brett]

Wife, she's a pig. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, she's a pig. All right.

[Brett]

Yeah. I mean go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

Hot wife away. I'm not getting on that.

[Brett]

Please.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

That is so weird. Thanks a lot, you ass hats. I came in mid conversation. That weird ass noise you were playing. Thought I had a vacuum leak in my truck.

[Brady]

It does every now. And the vent and the AC in the car. I love that hum.

[John Holmberg]

It says Brady has no details but was instant and resolute that there was no food there so he would not be attending Empty bowl party is what he calls it.

[Brady]

Why would I go there?

[John Holmberg]

I'm with you. Why would you go there? For all those reasons. My mother in law just started getting into those bowls because she's rich and bored and it's the weirdest thing ever. Expensive as hell. Gigantic. Take up a whole table. Zero benefits so far. Yeah. Yeah. There better not be a single complaint if you're rolling out to bowl nights. Come home and you're like, you're still tense. We're not doing the bulls anymore. It's not working. But you've got her now. You're one of the few men out there that have her. When she starts in those I. Why don't we do this to together or how come you never want to do things with me and then hit her with that bowl party one time. All you have to do is one time go.

[Brady]

I'm going to host one.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Yes.

[Brett]

Can we, can we combine?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I got an idea. I'll buy an orange gown. I'll get some scotch tape and pull these. Pull my papers back.

[Brady]

No, you don't need to do that.

[John Holmberg]

But you, you would be more authentic. Then I'll grow out my mustache. That's a weird kind of thing.

[Brady]

Can't tape the eyes.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, you can. No one will know. I'll put makeup over the tape. If you do makeup, I'll have my makeup lady.

[Brady]

Yeah, get Annie.

[John Holmberg]

Annie will do it. Turn me into an Asian and I'll sit in your backyard kind of in the dark like I do. Please do not bother the bowl master. His identity. His identity may not be Revealed. Yeah.

[Brady]

No makeup needed.

[John Holmberg]

And I'll just go. All right, Miho. Here we go. We'll confuse the house. Out of it is Sam Elliot the ball master. And off we go. Miho. And then next. Yeah, these broads are. And then every once in a while. What happened? That was your thing.

[Brett]

What was that?

[John Holmberg]

That's your deal. Cheryl Crow.

[Brett]

Where it's at, cuz? All I pulled up.

[Brady]

Was that a commercial?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

All. No, I'm sorry. I've summoned Cheryl Crow.

[Brett]

I pulled up the $5,500 sound bowl.

[Brady]

5,500?

[Brett]

That's for an antique one. You know.

[John Holmberg]

That's.

[Brett]

That's the OG Yeah.

[Brady]

We don't have that.

[John Holmberg]

Re. Rack. Radies. Listen up, Miho. Listen up.

[Brady]

Dude juice.

[John Holmberg]

Swallow more dude juice. This isn't hypnotism. Quit bitching about everything. Eat dude juice.

[Brady]

That's the guy we need.

[John Holmberg]

That's me. His identity must remain a mystery. Listen up, Miho. Why does he keep calling us all Miho? The dude abides. The dude abides. Mijo. I don't like this bowl party. It's weird. They're all weird. Sister.

[Brett]

Here's one for you, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

It's cheaper.

[Brett]

It's only 800 bucks.

[Brady]

We got ours. We're good.

[John Holmberg]

What was the most you spent on a singing bowl?

[Brady]

You know, actually, she got a really good deal.

[John Holmberg]

Good.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She heaved them down a little bit.

[Brady]

They look good.

[John Holmberg]

They went full price on that thing.

[Brady]

They look good in the closet.

[John Holmberg]

Are they in the closet? Your bitterness needs to stay away. Yeah. You love the bowls.

[Brady]

They sound fabulous.

[John Holmberg]

Has she played them around the house? Have you pulled them out when nobody's home? Do you play the bowls? Every once in a while.

[Brady]

I have never done that one, but.

[John Holmberg]

I do it all the time.

[Brett]

You need to put some Haagen Dazs in one of them bowls and just go to town. Use it for what it's good for.

[Brady]

I'd be kicked out of the house. You think so?

[John Holmberg]

You bought them?

[Brady]

Yeah. No, that wouldn't.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. A big chocolate sundae with Jimmy. Just a man.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then at the end. Just doesn't make any noise.

[Brett]

14 scoops, whipped cream, cherry on top. Come on, wash it out.

[John Holmberg]

Multitask with these things.

[Brady]

It's not you.

[John Holmberg]

Can you spend a couple grand on a bowl? I better get some. You can put Blue Bell out of that goddamn thing before the end of the day.

[Brett]

Man, these things are expensive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This is nuts. You got duped on this bowl party.

[Brett]

1200 bucks and it's Already sold out.

[John Holmberg]

I'd get my money back, Mijo.

[Brett]

All the expensive ones are sold out. Look at this one. It's 1500 bucks.

[Brady]

Yeah, she. She didn't drop that kind of dough.

[John Holmberg]

They said I'm. Same thing happened to me. It took me 10 minutes to realize that sound was you guys. And that's something wrong with my tires as I barrel down the 101. The hell is going on with my car?

[Brett]

Imagine the line of discount tire right now.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brady]

It sounds like our building after the rain when it's really humid. The vents.

[John Holmberg]

Check your tire pressure, man. Miho. All right, anyway, that's enough of that nonsense. Sorry, Brady. All I wanted to do was talk about ladies. Who Monks. And little did I know, Brady had a followup.

[Brett]

Does she have the Alex Van Halen set here? The Five Bulls?

[John Holmberg]

And it's a set?

[Brady]

Yeah, I think there's like three, maybe three or four.

[John Holmberg]

A crash symbol, some plates up there, something.

[Brady]

And the Caring Case. Very nice.

[John Holmberg]

It comes with a case to tote them from place to place.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Has it ever left the house?

[Brady]

Like you're hauling a drum kit around.

[John Holmberg]

Have they ever left the house?

[Brady]

I think so. Once, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

So she takes them and plays them.

[Brady]

For Other door to the house here.

[Brett]

The singing bowl. Bag carrier.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's like 100 bucks, man. I don't. That's a whole. That's in three days. I've been introduced to all sorts of new things in the world.

[Brady]

Got that pillow, too.

[Brett]

This one?

[Brady]

No, the one just down below. Right there with the leaf on it. Yeah, she's got one of those.

[Brett]

She's banging an Asian that's on sale right now. 50 bucks for a goddamn pillow.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not a private investigator, but if you put me on a fanduel right now and said, what's the end of this story? I'm like, oh, Ronnie's a lesbian with an Asian woman.

[Brett]

She got the meditation shaw?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Well, your world just got so easy for birthday presents.

[Brady]

We had to get a couple of wands to beat the bulls.

[John Holmberg]

I have never heard more disdain from.

[Brady]

Oil is 49 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

We got a whole bunch of that stuff.

[Brett]

Got a case of that sitting in.

[John Holmberg]

The closet and get you some Pennzoil and we'll put it in a.

[Brady]

Got some beads.

[John Holmberg]

Ohm. Oil and Pennzoil are the exact same thing. She won't know. 116 bucks.

[Brett]

You can get those cheaper trails. 28 bucks for incense.

[John Holmberg]

Incense. All right. Anyway, what are they serving over at that bowl party? Ronnie Coors Banquet Beer Crack open a yellow jacket, mijo, pop, on my way. Don't get too close. You'll identify the mystery man.

[Brady]

Oh, I want so bad. Listen up, Mio.

[John Holmberg]

What would they do if I just say, all right, grab your flotation devices and let's get in the pool, Miho. I'm gonna piss myself. This is ridiculous. All right, I'll send you home a list.

[Brady]

We're hosting a party.

[John Holmberg]

Have to. And I'm coming over. That's the only time I'll go to Gilbert. I don't have no intention. But you know what my rule is? When Brady says, come on out here for food, I'm like, you know how many good restaurants I passed to get to Gilbert? Not happening. But if you said, having a floaty bowl party, I'm like, I pass. None of those. Knows it's the only place in town that's happening.

[Brady]

Travel.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta do that. That's a destination. See you in 10, Miho. I gotta go to that. See you in an hour.

[Brady]

You're taking a towel out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that makes sense to me.

[Brady]

Next thing you know, every weekend's taken. Kirby, quarterback's on. Sean, I need you again Saturday after.

[John Holmberg]

We're making a fortune. Sorry, folks. We're gonna quit this show. This me whole bowl party is killing it.

[Brady]

Have you guys heard about Yogi Holmberg?

[John Holmberg]

I got Brady. Got Brett DJing in the corner for when they set up. All right, everyone, the mystery man has arrived. Everyone calm down. I'm gonna turn off the Bruno Mars now. And everyone relax.

[Brady]

We'll buy some acreage somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

Sit in the middle of a field with a microphone. All right, ladies, take your tops off. It's the only way that the Lord Gorlock will understand or hear you. All right, here we go. I wish I was in Land of Cotton. Old times there. Or not. What's he doing? Ladies, don't question the madness.

[Brady]

He's right. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Never question the mystery man. You show me your snitch. Do it. Or the Lord Poas will come down and he'll summon it shut.

[Brett]

Like how? Billy Bob's there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Billy Bob. Elliot look. Me ho. I like that. Anyway, well, good luck with your weirdness, Brady.

[Brady]

Opportunity.

[John Holmberg]

Ask some questions. No, it isn't. There's no opportunity.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I could be the greatest bowl player of all time. I'll still be poor. It's wildly poor. At 741, the monks are having sex. And something else is going on in Gilbert we don't know about yet. But I'm sure that story is not Over. Over.

[Brady]

Bull parties.

[John Holmberg]

Bowl parties is what they're called. Your wife leaves the house in a bikini and a towel and tells you that she's going to some Eastern ritual. Yeah. Just. Just. Either be like Brady and. Go ahead. What's the worst? Can I get two episodes of Quarterback with nobody talking or I start asking questions? Off you go. Crazy. Brett, what do you got on? I don't even care. Let's. We're skipping the Wake up song. What's on there? It can't be better than the Boy bowl party.

[Brett]

Well, we got Godzilla from Blue, I recall for the show the other day. Who the who for? I do Electric 6, gay bar for To's birthday fairies wear Boots for John and Thrillers. Big night.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Deftones. New song. Nine Snails. New song. The Vapors turned Japanese Stupid girl from Cold for the show. And then Ozzy Suicide Solution for Ronnie's bowl playing.

[John Holmberg]

I like that. That one. We might have to go. I think we. That I'll get that out of. Was it Ozzy that did that?

[Brett]

Yeah. If it's not in there, I'll get it.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't. We have the one that Zach did though, right? That. The Suicide Messiah. That's what I'm thinking. Suicide Solution is the different song. Yeah. You got to do it. My brain went Sideways, by the way.

[Brett]

Stop the Bulls.

[John Holmberg]

The fun that I had. Although Godzilla. Blue Oyster Cults is also a good option. All right, we're gonna go with Blue Oyster Cult and Godzilla.

[Brett]

Let me pull that one up, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

No, we got it. But we talked Friday about the guy they dressed up as Hitler in to motivate the staff. And they've got posters downstairs of Hitler this morning that very. Oh, I've got Suicide Solution. The. That very same man. I went down to my bathroom in my office is out of order, so I have to go downstairs to the still. Yeah. Nobody's ever. They're mad at me. They don't like me anymore, so they're not going to fix my bathroom. So I went downstairs to the men's room to. To pee. And I see that Scott Taylor slash Hitler lasso is in the thing. He's in the photos and the motivational posters. And he heard the door open. And he knows that I'm the only one here that goes and uses that bathroom who's a man. And so his. He tried to lift his feet to not expose his shoes real quick. And I saw him in there and he's taking a horrible dump. Now keep in mind, this is 6:40. Scott should have stayed home and taken a dump at home. But he drove to work just to say he gets.

[Brett]

He always does.

[John Holmberg]

He says he gets here early and then he. And he wastes the first 15 minutes unleashing a date deuce and I. So I go, hey, Taylor. And Because I recognized his shoes and he put his feet back down on the ground because I think he thought he was going to get away with that one. And. And I said, hey, Taylor. Something to him and I said, you know I have to do this to you, right? And he goes, yeah, go ahead. And then of course in the bathroom, blackout. So don't touch Scott Taylor's hands. Cuz I turned all the lights out in the bathroom and turned the music up as loud as it goes. He had to wipe in the dark. There's no way it's clean.

[Brett]

Leave Scott Himler alone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I may. I may be. Yeah. But his final solution for cleaning his ass today. Smearing. That's it. He doesn't know when he was done. He's had to assume it all. Probably had his flashlight from his phone out to take a look at the paper to make sure he's still going.

[Brett]

You did that to Toledo the other day too.

[John Holmberg]

Always if you're taking a dump in our public. I'm shutting the. Shutting the lights out because Toledo came.

[Brady]

Out with his flashlight when I walked in after you.

[John Holmberg]

It's opaque. It is. There's no window. Like it is black, dark in there. So if you're going to take a huge. At work when you. When you should. He's not doing anything yet. He should be home wasting those 15 minutes on his family smelling it, not us. You don't wreck the room. Maybe I understand it at like 11 or 12 and you've been at work for a few hours and you're like, all right, but first thing in the morning, like I'll just drive in early and act like I'm the early bird. And then you just take for an hour.

[Brett]

The whole morning show at Castle X used to do that too.

[John Holmberg]

Both of them just stay home off the walls, take you meatloaf. There's no need to be irked early if. If being early includes still some of the rituals of getting ready. Like paid for it. That's stupid. You're getting paid the salaried employee. I understand if you're hourly, I guess to show up early and clock in and drop a deuce, but come on. So I left him in the dark. So if anybody meets Scott Taylor day from our. What is it, the 2610 60. Yeah, just elbow bump that pointless endeavor. Yeah, just elbow bump him. Don't touch his.

[Brady]

Geofence.

[John Holmberg]

He'll find you on you. Trust me. He's very good digitally of chasing down clients and then. And then like knowing where they are so he can run away as well. But his hands are filthy and his asses. He's got rust butt today in a huge way because he wiped in the dark. And I mean the dark suicide solution. That's what we'll go with today. It's Ozzy everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station. Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station. Man. Man oh man. So many. I've got so many questions. It's crazy. Just gets weirder and weirder in your world, kid. But what are you going to do? Brett's response afterwards. Hilarious broad tells me out of the blue at 7:30 on a Sunday she's going to somebo house for a bowl party. She better pack the pots and pans. She can get her ass out of you. Out of your mind. Spontaneous Sunday night party. All right here, watch your ass. There you go.

[Brett]

It's true.

[John Holmberg]

I'd be a little more tolerant than him and I'd have. I'm somewhere in the middle of the two of you. You'd killer. You have no questions at all. I'm somewhere in the middle fascinated by both of you there. Not going to lie. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows unquestioned. And it's brought to you by the BR report. It's brought to you by our friends at all Pro Shade. Man, it's tough selling the all pro shade when everything's been so. This is a good summer. We had the miserable one last year. This is pretty nice. But you know what? It's still hot. And this weekend's going to suck. Coming up this weekend, even when the.

[Brady]

Sun isn't out, the awning was still out. This weekend even better.

[John Holmberg]

70 degrees.

[Brady]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

It just makes everything better.

[Brady]

And then when it would start to.

[John Holmberg]

Sprinkle and she came no.

[Brady]

Oh, you're just out there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It didn't really get windy or nasty.

[Brady]

It sprinkled a couple of times over.

[John Holmberg]

The weekend but it didn't get like so bad that the thing would suck itself back up. That's great. It's cool. Yeah. It just makes everything better. Your backyard, your life, your house. Everything gets better. All pro shade dot com. That's where you go put some shade in your life.

[Brady]

Brady report It Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Junk Food Day. We need that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. We need more of that.

[Brady]

Couple of basic fun facts. The harmonica player I'm Thin Lizzy's 1978 album, Live in Danger was Huey Lewis.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brett]

Wow.

[Brady]

He was credited as the bluesy Huey Lewis. You can hear him on Baby Drives Me Crazy.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know anything.

[Brady]

I don't know that song particularly either.

[John Holmberg]

But that's that weird redneck rock I never really grabbed on to for some reason like that. Seems like that's. Then Lizzy falls into that weird.

[Brady]

Like I like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They get a couple songs. Yeah, I don't know that one.

[Brady]

For the first five US presidential elections, only white men who own property could vote.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, thanks for bringing that up. Make everybody uncomfortable for a minute. Thank you, Brady.

[Brady]

The world record for bench press was £364 in 1916. The current world record.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. 1916. It wasn't like they had a lifetime fitness on every corner.

[Brady]

That's pretty good press.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Most dudes weren't accessing. I bet you it was more than that. It just wasn't an official bench press. I bet you some of those. Those giant farm hands, this is just.

[Brady]

The ones they could get a hold of.

[John Holmberg]

We're chucking up 4, 500 pounds without thinking. Thinking about it.

[Brady]

Well, the current guys, Jimmy COBB, he benched 1401 pounds.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. In 2023, I would have guessed maybe 800-1400.

[Brady]

1401.

[John Holmberg]

That's a half ton. That's more than. That's a. That's three quarters of a ton. Are you kidding me?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. No, I'm not 1400 pounds. My tonal pushed me up to 190 once and I thought my back was going to shoot out of my front. I don't like that repping out big weight. It hurts.

[Brady]

Now there is keeping it together and.

[John Holmberg]

I don't need to hear from you guys. 191. I'm like, yeah, I know. I don't like it. So I don't do much of it. I try to stay toned. I don't try to.

[Brady]

Here's what's interesting though. They also said on the side the raw record without help of a bench shirt.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that means.

[Brady]

I'm not sure what that is, but it. It drops. It's £783. That was set by in 2021 by Julius Maddox. So it must be some kind of.

[John Holmberg]

Shirt that helps you or I don't have. Is It. Shirt.

[Brady]

Shirt.

[John Holmberg]

Reading that right. Skirt shirt.

[Brady]

Bench shirt.

[John Holmberg]

Huh. I'm not sure what that is.

[Brady]

Oh, well, how much for one of them? Brett, I want a shirt. I want to throw some weight around today.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna grab my towel and get out of here.

[Brady]

7:30.

[John Holmberg]

John wants to go. John and Brett want a bench. We didn't expect this, but we're gonna go do it. I'll see you in an hour. I'm gonna do a daisy chain.

[Brady]

We're doing. We're gonna do a bowflex ch. Jam.

[Brett]

Holy Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

Pop on some. Oh, oh, I see. So there's a shirt that actually.

[Brett]

$278.

[John Holmberg]

And it helps you bench by keeping your muscles from exploding out of your super katana.

[Brett]

That's it. Still cheaper than bull.

[John Holmberg]

That shirt will double.

[Brady]

Gave him another £600. Yeah, well, yeah. I wonder what that I could do raw then if that's the case, just topless, without the super katana.

[John Holmberg]

What's it do? That's fascinating. I didn't know what adventure it was till today. All right. Everything about my life is just. I'm learning. I'm learning. For 72 solid hours on this day in history.

[Brady]

164 years ago in 1860, 1951, Confederate troops defeated the Yanks. The battle of Bull Run Creek.

[John Holmberg]

Jerks.

[Brady]

It was the first major battle of the Civil war. More than 50,000 men fought 10 hours where a lot of people just sat up on hill, watched it, and they had a picnic. And that picnic did not last too long after the.

[John Holmberg]

After the bloodshed.

[Brady]

152 years old ago, on this day in 1873, Jesse James held up the Rock Island Express near Adair, Iowa. It was the. His first train robbery. Only $6,000 was reported lost, but it was more like $65,000. The train company didn't want the public.

[John Holmberg]

To know their totem. Oh, wow, he got 65 grand.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That's got to be.

[John Holmberg]

Let me find out. So 65,000.

[Brady]

It's got to be 10 mil.

[John Holmberg]

How much is $65,000 in?

[Brady]

18, maybe 5 mil. 5 mil. I'll go 5.

[John Holmberg]

Use chat GPT to just. It's trying to figure it out. It's doing the math. It's the equivalent of 1.73. Wow.

[Brady]

That's retirement money back then.

[John Holmberg]

It's a pretty good draft. It's a pretty good haul.

[Brady]

Last one's. 53 years ago in 1972, George Carlin was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and profanity at SummerFest in Milwaukee. Wisconsin. Seven dirty words using indecent language in front of wheelchair bound children.

[John Holmberg]

Children.

[Brady]

Which is why we loved him. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Kids, this is what you do with your words. Safe and. And mother.

[Brady]

How about that?

[John Holmberg]

That's what you should call your God who put you in that chair. You just want to go home. If I was you, I would look straight up at God and say, you.

[Brady]

Interesting poll that asks people, do opposites attract? 40% of people in relationships say their partner isn't really their type, at least not on paper. 92% say there's at least one key personality trait that doesn't line up. So they ask people what are the most common. One person is always cold, the other is always hot.

[John Holmberg]

Check temperature. Stuff is that's, that's, you know, one's.

[Brady]

A saver, the other's a spender.

[John Holmberg]

That's a thing.

[Brady]

One's a planner, the other one likes to just go with the flow. Once an early bird, there's a night owl.

[John Holmberg]

Now you're starting to get into the, like, character traits that actually matter. The whole cold thing, you can't help that.

[Brady]

You got a chatterbox and a quiet.

[John Holmberg]

One that's just a boring person and a fun person.

[Brady]

One's tidy, the other's a slob.

[John Holmberg]

One loves sound bowl parties, the other one doesn't ever.

[Brady]

One love ice cream bowls, episodes of Quarterback. The poll also found that 50, 57% of us agree with the statement opposites attract. Thanks, Paul Abdul.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, it isn't Paul Abdul. Didn't invent meant that. But that's how we remember MC Scott Cat. Yeah, he did. Yeah, he knew that was his phrase.

[Brady]

The TSA just announced that they're adding new dedicated family lanes at security checkpoints.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, get those kids out of line.

[Brady]

Airports have already done it. And they said there will be a few more, I mean, added later this year. They'll gradually.

[John Holmberg]

I'll be able to do a kid line at the airport next. Next thing, my dream of a kid's free flight. You pay a little extra. Nothing worse than we went on JSX that time and somebody brought their rat kit on and it was crying. And I'm like, you paid for that? Like, you paid extra to tote him in. Like just go on a regular plane you didn't appreciate.

[Brett]

Spirit was already booked.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's probably true.

[Brady]

The other thing they added was honor lanes for the military community.

[John Holmberg]

I like that too.

[Brady]

Available in 11 airplanes. Reports and it will expand.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's great.

[Brady]

Nationwide.

[John Holmberg]

Put my test there Thursday. Brady. I fly. Did I get the new id. No, I already paid for my ticket though. So I noticed that. If it's so imperative to fly with this new fake ID thing, why do they let me buy a ticket first? They don't ask me when I'm buying, when I'm putting my money on the table. They're like, we don't care. What can I.

[Brady]

It'll be interesting to see how much you know. They'll say, well, you could be delayed a little bit. Going through?

[John Holmberg]

Through.

[Brady]

Okay, a couple of jsx, additional ID check. Okay, but you're doing jsx, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yep. I'll plop it down. They'll be like, yep, like, sorry, don't have the star.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

It's the same goddamn thing as before. You can see. I don't.

[Brady]

You'll be fine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can go through my bags.

[Brady]

Speaking of Spirit Airlines.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

There's a 16 year old kid, I was on a flight, he joked that said he had a bomb. Got arrested, dumbass. All his friends went home. Where was that story I handed you?

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, yeah. Is that this one?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Teen arrested for alleged bomb threat on plane. Mom says it's a joke. He's a good kid.

[Brady]

He's a good kid.

[John Holmberg]

Not that good a kid spirit. He's 16.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And his passengers are probably hoping for it.

[John Holmberg]

Was it Fort Lauderdale Hollywood International Airport. He blurted out, I have a bomb in my pocket rocket. And the plane was about to take off, so they just stopped everything. I think that was real, Mom. 1300 or it was Flight 1332. Broward County Sheriff hopped on board. How much you think the fine was, Brett?

[Brett]

Five grand.

[John Holmberg]

Did you see?

[Brady]

I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brady]

To say I like that number. Five grand.

[John Holmberg]

Thousand dollars. Oh, mother insist the offhand.

[Brett]

Well, it is Spirit. I'm sorry, I forgot to. I forgot to do moms.

[Brady]

That didn't include the luggage.

[John Holmberg]

But in this particular case, the mom says it was an offhand comment, never meant as a threat. Immature slang. He's a good kid.

[Brady]

So mom, if you would have said that.

[John Holmberg]

But no, hold on. Does she not recognize we have to always have a high bar for this? Like we can't just start saying oh.

[Brett]

Stop it with her little cuss.

[John Holmberg]

Cause Al Qaeda will then start using 16 year old kids dressed like skate rats to tell people I got a bomb in my pocket. I'll always just have boys. Boy, your kid is a dick. And you're a dick for allowing that and then defending it.

[Brady]

He's paying the thousand dollar fine. And son, this is why you don't joke no about that. We told you this is. Shut your mouth.

[John Holmberg]

This is why you don't joke. The beating your parents should be giving you instead of telling everybody. Oh, stop it. It was no big deal. It is too.

[Brett]

Kurt Vestly would have left me at the airport.

[John Holmberg]

Thousands of dollars.

[Brett]

Catch another flight and pay for your own tab.

[John Holmberg]

My dad would have written a check for. For $1,000 just to be allowed to beat me that day. He would have given him a check.

[Brady]

How soon can I get.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, when can I just put the pads on the walls? He's getting tossed all over the place. I don't want to kill him, but I'm going to come close. Parents, stop defending your dumb kids when they do stuff that you don't realize have repercussions if it's done by somebody other than your sweet little talon talent says, I got a bomb on a plane. You should be the one on the news going, I'm sorry, everybody. I didn't think he was that stupid. Evidently I'm raising a stupid person. Be embarrassed of your children more. She had the nerve to tell the he's. He's a good boy. It was harmless. How. How does he pose a threat? I don't know. But if he. If we stop paying attention to people that look like him. Some Radicalized little blonde 16 year old gets on with his pal for altar board is that stuff. And he hops on the plane his Logan Earth you. And the next thing you know he's like, yeah, bomb, bomb, bombs. Like he's just a white boy. He's fine. And then the plane blows up.

[Brett]

The mom's just pissed off. She got. She was late to her bowl party.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Son of him.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I'm gonna miss the bowl party. The whole reason we decided to fly out and I took your dumb ass because you didn't want to sit and watch her father stare at Netflix all weekend with half a heart on. I understood it.

[Brady]

That's what.

[John Holmberg]

Why I'm leaving too. Brady asked Ronnie on the phone, how many people were there? And she said, I don't know. Six. Six or so, I guess. Maybe.

[Brady]

I think seven.

[John Holmberg]

Was she not there?

[Brady]

She had her eyes closed the whole time. Yeah.

[Brett]

You have too, apparently.

[John Holmberg]

I need details, sister. How many people went to this? Seven. If it's only seven, it was like 35. You're like. I'd be like 30. 30 people there. That'd be a crowd of seven is easy.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

To be able to fire that number off fast. And if they're friends then. Yeah. Seven of us. There were seven of us.

[Brady]

There was a baseball game happening in Silver Spring, Maryland. High school baseball summer league was happening. And the baseball field is next to a fire department department. One kid hits a dinger and it hits one of the guys on the fire department's his personal car.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The guy gets out there. The firefighter gets out there and cranks up the hose and starts hosing the field off.

[John Holmberg]

He gets the big boy hose out.

[Brady]

Yes. And they have to cancel the football game or the baseball game.

[John Holmberg]

So he parks at the home run fence.

[Brady]

Yeah, well it's. The cars are in the parking lot which.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You know where the home. You know where the line is. You park by a baseball field. What do you should be aware of?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Flying objects.

[Brady]

So he's suspended and they're investigating.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious though. I'd like to have seen that.

[Brady]

But they show the video of the guy just it it pretty far out in the field.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good hit. A towering blast from Juan Soto Jr.

[Brady]

Evidently in the UK two hours outside of north of London. There was a swing a thong.

[John Holmberg]

Swing a thong.

[Brady]

Swing a thumb.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, swing of thong. Swing a thong. He did.

[Brady]

They didn't have thongs on. Almost a thousand people attended.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck.

[Brady]

And it was a swinger bang fest. And the people in the village got a little upset because it was so loud. Moaning 24 7.

[Brett]

It's always those people. You don't.

[John Holmberg]

It's the gross.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So it was the. The between the moaning and the smell of dead fish. It was horse.

[John Holmberg]

Come on man.

[Brady]

So I don't think that sounds like happen again.

[John Holmberg]

It was a lot of moaning. There was a fish smell. I believe that it was sushi catered.

[Brady]

This is totes adorbs. The world's tiniest dad. There's a pig. Have you seen this? The tiniest pig in the world. 15 inches. No long. It just had a litter of piglets.

[John Holmberg]

It's a dad.

[Brady]

Yeah. Well the. It mated with female. That's bigger than. Yes, but not much bigger. Still a dwarf pig. This is the. There's the dad.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well this picture's up close and it looks like it's just in high grass. So I don't know how small this actually I need a 15 inch perspective.

[Brady]

I know I need the like I.

[John Holmberg]

Need it in a hand or something. I mean don't get me wrong.

[Brady]

Guinness World record super aware of what.

[John Holmberg]

15 inches looks like. Trust me.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But mine doesn't have a Snout, sort of, I guess. They are adorable.

[Brady]

Dad's name is Pluto.

[John Holmberg]

They had a little litter. These little tiny. This is like. It's like Danny DeVito and he got.

[Brady]

It on with Venus.

[John Holmberg]

Rhea Perlman. That's cute. Thanks for that adorable little picture, Brady. Two adorable baby pigs. 15 inch pigs.

[Brady]

Let's get to some Brady videos. The first one I call is a WWE power move. This is called the Scissor Chomp.

[John Holmberg]

Turn your bowl.

[Brett]

This one. Oh, the balls are still on. Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Kill the bulls, man.

[Brett]

Is that this one?

[Brady]

No. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Brett's excited about the one. That's going to be interracial. The first picture is up there. Looks like a very uncomfortable thing's about to be announced.

[Brady]

There's one before. Before that.

[Brett]

This one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God, no. Oh, for Christ's sake. Where's Toledo?

[Brady]

Hang on.

[Brett]

Try to send it again.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we'll just do with what you got.

[Brett]

All right, I'm not gonna play this one because I don't know where this is going.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is.

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't know how that is.

[Brett]

We'll go with this one for now, and I'll try to send the other one.

[John Holmberg]

Do you know this one?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, what's this one?

[Brady]

This is a kid celebrating his birthday, and they're pushing his head in the birthday cake.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

You'll see the results.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh, he put his face in there before they pushed. Oh, God. Oh, it's a dong in the cave. So they cooked a dong into the ca. Oh, now he's throwing the dong at people. Yeah, and it's right in his mouth. So he does mouth open the whole way.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that couldn't have gone better for the jokesters, especially because he got so angry. And I love that they're under a grass hut. They don't have homes there, wherever that is. But they have dildos before they decided to build realistic houses with roofs.

[Brady]

That's the party hutch.

[John Holmberg]

No. No, it isn't. That's their house. I'm convinced of it. And even if that's your party hutch, it's still a grass roof, like Gilligan's place. So they have details. Failed dicks before they have quality roofing.

[Brady]

Nice floor, though.

[Brett]

WWE's not coming up.

[Brady]

Okay. Bummer.

[Brett]

And then.

[Brady]

All right, then the last one is the wartman.

[John Holmberg]

Another one. Come on.

[Brady]

It's got an itchy back.

[John Holmberg]

This dude's warts. Oh, he's making him dance. Oh, God, he looks like a one of those shag rugs. You run your hand across, only it's warts. And. Oh, my God, his whole body is warts. And when he's itchy. Oh, and he's very limber, but he's scratching with his. They're making, like, a little bubble moves.

[Brady]

His hair still kind of goes through the back.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it looks.

[Brady]

He's got a beard.

[John Holmberg]

I can watch all sorts of things. That gets me. Oh, turn that off.

[Brett]

The Ado concert.

[John Holmberg]

That's the. That's who's playing.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Good God. By the way, Donovan, who pays attention the show too closely, says they renamed that dwarf pig. They have a different. It's called Scott Haynes now. Yeah, it's our smallest listener. We have a dwarf pig listener. Scott Haynes. He's adorable, too. A little bigger than 15 inches, but not much morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness guy said you had the tiny pig story there. It reminded me. Did you get an update on the guy whose wife last week emailed in about the tiny goat while he was out of town that he. No, we haven't. I haven't heard from yet. Maybe he'll email us. And by the way, Brett just pulled up a picture of Bill Cosby holding the lady at the Coldplay concert that the memes.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

The dude stepped away from his job. He. He can't be CEO of his company anymore. And you know what you. I thought about after. You know, and Friday night, the. You know, the day everybody found out about. You see what the Phillies did?

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Kiss cam. Which was hilarious. The fanatic was holding somebody.

[Brady]

And there was a couple of. That was the biggest one. A couple of sporting, like, the d backs.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody got on this thing. These poor people were. Yes. Having some sort of an affair. But in their minds, they're like, oh, my God, that was so embarrassing. That's crazy, right? We got nabbed at the Coldplay show. They had no idea what was going to happen. Eighteen hours later, even less than that. Their whole lives.

[Brady]

Like, if I didn't flinch, none of.

[John Holmberg]

This would have happened. I started to feel so sorry for you.

[Brady]

Just would have stood there for a second.

[John Holmberg]

I get it. They're back bad. But we treated Luigi Mangione better than we're doing these two. Like, they had a sexual affair. You don't know their story. Maybe the wife's okay with it.

[Brady]

Well, we heard all sorts of different stories.

[John Holmberg]

Right? You don't know.

[Brady]

Oh, you know what? She's married.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Or whatever. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

But we don't know their story.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Horrible. And they're getting treated like they killed people. And it's. It's so sad. At a certain point you're like, I get it.

[Brady]

Also responsible for some great, amazing, great comedy.

[John Holmberg]

There's where I had to. There's where I had to find my moral line because I'm like, these poor people. But this is really funny. I don't know what to lean on here.

[Brady]

Do you? I mean, look at it like, if it happened to you, oh, you would understand.

[John Holmberg]

You're like, dude, suicidal.

[Brady]

You got to make these.

[John Holmberg]

I guarantee you he's suicidal. He's not making jokes. That dude went home.

[Brady]

But I'm saying, if it was top story. If you were that guy, if I'm him, would you be the same way?

[John Holmberg]

You'd kill you. You'd be on watch, I guarantee. Yeah, the dudes lost everything. And again, his own doing. But this is more than just getting caught doing something dumb. This is the world going, oh, I can't imagine the weight that is living on top of him. Plenty of people.

[Brett]

Did you see the full video with Chris Martin talking about it?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

He's just like, what, are they having an affair?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Or they're very shy.

[Brady]

And now they're evidently at the Coldplay concerts.

[John Holmberg]

Just give a little warning. Yeah, give a warning. You might be on the screen.

[Brett]

Just want. You know how many streams of Coldplay get this weekend after all this?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the one I love the most was the Mahomes hugging the referee.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they have one with SGA hugging a ref. And I mean these, these.

[Brett]

There was one with. From Airplane where Otto's grabbing Julie Hagerty's cans and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

It is above and beyond a punishment that's deserved. They deserve to be beaten down by their spouses, maybe their jobs, for sure. But we have no right in there. But they gave it to us. So we took.

[Brady]

Is the mob mentality. You don't. You don't factor that in there.

[John Holmberg]

Do not. With the mob. Their main. And they've. You're just a meme. You're not a human. And I guarantee you that dude is. He's in the guest room and he hasn't been able to talk to the kids for three days. And I guarantee you there's a couple of calls down there, that suicide hotline, like, I gotta. I've got to check out nobody.

[Brady]

And then Brett is capable of that. Like his current wife or something. Oh, yeah, that was her.

[Brett]

She's a smoke show.

[John Holmberg]

It would not surprise me if that guy came, came up Dead in the next few days at all. That's an. It's an awful lot to handle. You know, you've been through a divorce. Yeah, it's a lot to deal with that it was.

[Brett]

Let alone being memes, let alone, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, because of your actions that were gonna embarrass you no matter what and feel like the weight of the world on your shoulders. Then this part is thrown on top. Nobody who's ever been busted in an affair has had that happen.

[Brady]

There's no way to turn that into, like, a talk to a moment for that guy.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if he. Then he. Then he's even worse. People would hate him even more if he capitalized on it. If you get, like, started a podcast and a meme coin.

[Brady]

The Kiss Cam podcast.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hey, I'm the. I'm the philandering CEO, and here's my new crypto.

[Brett]

Joey Buttafuoco dead. I mean, that dude is a psychopath. Hell, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And everybody hated him. After, like, this dude just so show Pat, he's like, what are you gonna do?

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Bitch shot my wife in the face. I mean, everybody wants a piece of the Joey B's. D. Like, he took it as a compliment that two women fought over him. And it made news. I'm famous. I knew eventually. And they made movies. The Long Island Lodita. Poor Mary Joe Buttafuoco was just some lady married to a mobster who got shot by a teenager. He was hammering, and we made her, the idiot.

[Brady]

John Wayne Bobbit.

[Brett]

Yeah, he went on.

[Brady]

It took him a little while, but he kind of went on.

[John Holmberg]

And. No, he didn't. Nothing about his life was good again.

[Brady]

No, I'm not saying it was good.

[John Holmberg]

He did Frank. He tried, but he did Dr. Franken penis. And then everybody's like, okay, I want to see it. And he was the victim. You have an affair on the side, you get your dick cut off. Suddenly. Suddenly the. The balance of who's the bigger dick is swung to wife.

[Brady]

Yeah, he deserved.

[John Holmberg]

No, he didn't.

[Brady]

That's what the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, women were like, your dick off, too. I'm like, all right, well, you ever do it, I'm gonna mutilate your body and slice your off. Oh, my God, you're disgusting. You started it. Those poor people. That is a tough go.

[Brett]

There was even one of me and Katie Hobbs at the show, too. I'll show you that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, damn it.

[Brett]

Made that this weekend.

[John Holmberg]

See? Totally worth it again. But I would not. I would keep my. If I was a friend of his, I'd keep on that phone. I'm like, hey, how we doing? This is. This is more than most people can bear. He didn't ask for it. He wasn't in public. He's not a public figure. He's just brutal.

[Brett]

There's one with Big Mike and Obama.

[John Holmberg]

I saw that. Which I loved. She's holding him ripped. I saw that one. Yeah, she's massive. Oh, there's some good ones. There are some great additional. Did it. Did birth some amazing comedy.

[Brett]

It's. It's probably the new Barry Wood. I mean, everybody's just, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Well, hopefully he's got. He's strong, because at his weakest moment, the world decided to Gallagher him with the big hammer. Oh, yeah. So you're feeling bad about what you've done. Okay, watch this tough stuff. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brady]

All right, hang in there.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna. He's gonna. I, I, I give it three days.

[Brady]

Come out of it. Okay. When the documentary comes out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, he's not start off with a.

[Brett]

Little broad getting hurt.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she was just sawing a piece of wood in half, and then she stepped on it to crack it, and the other half came up and banged her right in the face. Almost cut all the way through. She did the step, and then she takes the baseball bat to the noggin. I like her boots. I like her. I'm cutting stuff boots. I. Oh, God.

[Brett]

Oh, no. Just wait.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a man?

[Brady]

That's a dude.

[Brett]

Just wait.

[John Holmberg]

I think this looks like a fella dressed as a woman. And it's relatively large. You are abandoned at birth. You're a person of color in America. You are a queer person in a Mormon community. Are there any other struggles you faced in life? And the guest has no arms and legs. The person being interviewed has no arms and legs. But their victimization is all about being a trans gay.

[Brett]

And we've seen.

[John Holmberg]

That's hilarious.

[Brett]

We've seen that one already, so we'll just go to this one.

[John Holmberg]

All right. That was hilarious. Okay, Doctor from Scrubs. Oh, God. Oh, Brad. It's milk or something. I. Thank God. I hope that's some sort of. It looks like coconut milk and the lady is farting it out. Yeah. Oh, Jesus God. It's just a straight shot of milk coming out of there. Is that how that lady breastfeeds?

[Brett]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Is there duct in the wrong spot in the kitchen? Come on.

[Brady]

I just noticed the catch and the cat.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's got a cat. Oh, there's a cat in the Kitchen. That's his milk. Cats love milkies. Elgato would go and lap that up. Oh, boy, the society.

[Brett]

Look at this beast.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this is a fat lady.

[Brady]

That's AI that.

[John Holmberg]

There will be a lot of threads. Her fat looks like another person's legs over her legs while her gut rests on those legs. 5x her pants, her shorts are 5x. So she gets mostly fit. No, they don't. But.

[Brett]

They don't fit completely.

[John Holmberg]

Line them both over. Nasty ass. Giant leg. Step by step procedure. She is big. Oh, there she's got. Look at that. Look at those things.

[Brady]

She was able to stand up.

[John Holmberg]

They're violet color. Which is unfortunate because it reminds me of the girl in Willy Wonka that licked the wallpaper.

[Brady]

It is very.

[John Holmberg]

She's still topless. Okay, that's disgusting.

[Brett]

And we'll end with a little chicken and mushroom soup.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. All right, we're in the kitchen. We're gonna make the most delicious, comforting chicken and mushroom soup, okay? Oh, then it just cuts. Lady throwing up into a guy's mouth. Taking soup to the next level. Cozy, deep flavor. Amazing. You thought I was just going to make chicken soup, didn't you? Oh, nobody likes you. Can we get back to the rosebuds? I can't take this vomit thing. All right.

[Brett]

Well, we had the milk coming out.

[John Holmberg]

I know. At least it was a decent looking person. Oh, no, I'm not. If the milk would have come out of that big pig putting on those violent paints. Oh. All right, that's it. There goes your Brady report, everybody. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Brady]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? Thanks, boys. I'm sorry about that. I gotta get rid of my stuff straight. I just went downstairs to use my bathroom. Being broken is brutal. And so I have to use the public thing. And again, Scott Taylor downstairs wrecked it this morning at 6 and it's still bad. It's unusual. Unusual. Like it's just not good. Before we get to what would. Brady, we're going to miss the. The Hitler sales staff again. They're still defending it. And for those who are asking, yes, our motivational pictures of Hitler are still up downstairs. Now for those who don't know what we're about talking, talking about on Friday when I. When we got here, I had note there's an awful lot of this going on in our building right now downstairs to motivate our sales staff with these little 8 by 11 picture, like printed things of that say, you know, just motivational words, effort. And then like the definition of effort. And then it's a bridge and there's a cat or something walking on as these little weird motivational things. And it started all with the slump buster deal, which we made fun of a while while ago. That's still going on, by the way. And then. And then afterwards this. This thing with Hitler shows up. So it's not Hitler, it's our own Scott Taylor who wrecks bathrooms. And he's right up there with Hitler at this point with what he's doing to that bathroom. He's number two in my mind of like. Like, would you go back and kill baby Hitler or baby Scott? Are now questions with time machines. Because what he's doing to bathrooms ain't right. But he's standing, pointing at a poster dressed as Ted Lasso, and out of the corner of your eye, it looks like Hitler. He tried to come up and defend it this morning. He was, no, I'm pointing like this. I'm pointing. No, nobody points. Straight arm. The second you point. Straight arm and you've got a mustache.

[Brady]

Sideways.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he even said it was like upside down. Like, no, look at it again. It's Hitler at first glance.

[Brady]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it just.

[Brady]

It's going to look that way.

[John Holmberg]

Guests of the building walking through go, they've got pictures of Hitler because they're not going to study it. They don't know Scott Taylor. There's going to see a dude with a mustache doing straight on pointing.

[Brady]

Even if it was sideways. If you're. Would you. I'm gonna point something out. Doing a straight karate chop.

[John Holmberg]

Like I told him.

[Brady]

I'm like, finger.

[John Holmberg]

I've seen thousands of hours of video of the World Trade center and not one person goes, look at those planes. And their arms are straight up. Like, nobody. Hitler points, but Scott does. And they took a photo and they put it up there. And then they're so oblivious to it all that they're.

[Brady]

It is supposed to be pointing at the belief. You can't even see that.

[John Holmberg]

Worse. Once you see what's written on the sign. Worse. So after I point out that it looks like Hitler and everybody goes, oh, my God, we didn't see it. It's. It completely looks like Hitler. You'd think the smart thing to do after that would be to remove the Hitler posters. Nope, nope. It's hanging over. Ironically this morning, somebody brought some bagels in. Hitler's pointing away from the bagels, which would make tons of sense to me.

[Brett]

They're holding strong with their beliefs. Down there.

[John Holmberg]

It says believe, and there's bagels, there's bait, there's Hitler. And nobody's. Nobody has any clue what's going on anymore.

[Brady]

If all goes as well, could be on the i10 billboard this morning. They put on that digital board still streaming.

[Brett]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

And then point to the app.

[Brady]

Put that up there. See?

[John Holmberg]

See how that a great idea, though, that, like, instead of taking that down, let's just put some Jewish delights underneath it. I don't understand anything anymore, so I just want to point that out to everybody. Yes. The posters are still up. They're digging their heels in.

[Brady]

Well, it's working.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I don't think anybody in management likes me anymore anyway. I've been going through some stuff here, and now my bathroom's been broken for a month, and nobody seems to want to get on that, so I have to use the public bathroom. Scott comes here early, and running wrecks it. So I think it's all kind of a pointed effort to make me quit. I don't know what's going on. Pretty sure that's what's happened. Almost positive. They all got into a little huddle with the owners and tripping. Let's make them quit. My. I don't. You could just get rid. Like, it's all. It's just bipolar. I don't know what's going on. Fix my toilet. Side story on that. Totally different deal. My toilet's been broken for a month.

[Brett]

We need a plumber.

[John Holmberg]

And someone took a dump in it. When I went in there that one morning, I looked, and I'm like, that's been sitting there for, like, a day. And it won't flush. The dump had no toilet paper.

[Brett]

So somebody rust butted out of there.

[John Holmberg]

So somebody calling it Taylor's revenge? Yeah, I think it's Scott. Taylor dropped it. Well, he's the only one right now that we're. I mean, look, he needs to be shamed. And so then he dumped. And then he pulled his pants up, rust, butted his way into the other bathroom, and then cleaned up in there just to leave me a scarring visual.

[Brett]

Well, who else got keys? Your office?

[John Holmberg]

Well, the cleaning crew. Dom used to do it. I knew that. Dom used to. He have a master. Amy. Amy doesn't. No. Or Larry doesn't. Amy does. Trip does.

[Brett]

Mike does.

[John Holmberg]

Mike does.

[Brett]

He wouldn't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think. No. His. His is identified. It would look like somebody poured cottage cheese into the toilet. It Got me? No, it was. I don't know what. But since then it's been busted. They got all the poo out.

[Brett]

Oh, that was nice of them.

[John Holmberg]

But then somebody just wrapped toilet paper around the seat and then put an out of order sign over it. And it's been that way for a long time. So the whole point. And it's kind of breach of contract because it's in my contract that I have my own toilet. Like it needs to be repaired. I do. And technically I guess a lawyer would say you do have your own toilet. You didn't say it had to be functional.

[Brady]

Gray area.

[John Holmberg]

It is a gray area of gray water. So there you got that. What are you going to do? Inter office politics. We don't need to bore you with that. And again, back to the thing of guys like, who would have ever thought. And you were so right, I forgot. Was it Donovan that said that? Who would have ever thought that? Our nation, which is so divided politically on most topics, you can't even come to an agreement on anything. We, we united this weekend. One beautiful thing that happened over the weekend was we all got on board making fun of that poor CEO and that HR lady at the Coldplay show. That was a uniting moment.

[Brady]

Strong weekend.

[John Holmberg]

When we all unite to dislike something, we are the strongest this nation can be. We try to unite over things that like love and nobody gets it right. But when we all have a common kind of enemy or target and we all kind of find we all get together and are buddies. Nobody. And I'm, I'm like, I think I might be the first person that's on any media saying, hey, we need to pull back or this guy's going to kill himself. It was fun. Don't get get me wrong. Brett and Katie Hobbs just popped up. He showed you. That's very funny. Whoever did that. But this poor bastard and somebody else pointed out he needs to go to like rehab. Do the, do the American walk of shame. It's like, look, I made some bad decisions. But you don't know. Again, you don't know. His wife might be just the biggest alive. Doesn't give him a right to do what he did. But maybe they open marriage. Maybe they're separated. Well, that would. He wouldn't have hidden open marriage. She wouldn't have dove down under the door.

[Brady]

Well, but the job. Job's still on the line even though you're.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's not that dumb. If he's got an open marriage, then he doesn't need to bang the HR lady.

[Brady]

Dumb enough.

[John Holmberg]

Well, open marriage. And he's not going to tag on to an employee. He's got options.

[Brett]

Should have been an Indiana Jones 3. Choose, but choose wisely.

[John Holmberg]

Wisely?

[Brett]

He didn't choose wisely.

[John Holmberg]

You've chosen poorly, Miho. That's the only thing missing from that move anyway. Or he's got this wife, which I just saw, this lady, she didn't real. She was raised Mormon. She was raised so Mormon that she was afraid of sex. Like, she was raised to believe that that kind of pleasure. God hates that. And she had all these sexual repressions. And, like, she was taught to believe that that is between a man and you shouldn't even think about it. And masturbating is bad and dirty thoughts are bad. And don't do it until you're married. Then do it. And so she gets there and she's, like, excited. And then she realizes. Realized that through all this trauma from religion growing up, she was afraid of penises. Well, obviously she married a guy who's a Mormon as well, equally as religious, but he's all forebone in a way.

[Brady]

So she said, they got kids, they gotta produce.

[John Holmberg]

She's not letting that happen. She's got no kids. Never take a wiener. Can't do it. Gotta push him in there. And so she's afraid of it and cannot consummate their wedding. I can't do it. It's like, I don't think I'll ever do it. He tried a little bit. It hurt too much. Push off. Scared me even more. Because she thought that the pain was God's way of saying, this is punishment. So now she's not in. And so she went to the. Somehow or another, it's a news story now that she's like, I. I didn't want to. Now we can't get divorced because Mormons can't. You can't.

[Brett]

Watch me.

[John Holmberg]

Me too. But, like, she's like, but. But her husband's like, no, this is what.

[Brady]

Because they're still.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, very Mormon. So she gave him permission.

[Brady]

Just don't open up.

[John Holmberg]

Just don't be loud about it. Holmberg's morning sickness, and then this. Maybe the Coldplay guy's wife's one of those. She's like, look, I don't want to do this anymore at all. You're allowed to do it. Just don't. Don't be embarrassing. And then Coldplay ruined it.

[Brett]

Hopefully he chooses better.

[John Holmberg]

And how many times have we said that phrase? Coldplay ruined it. Then Coldplay showed up and everything got worse. So, yeah, she's got her fear of sex and penises. She's gone to like a therapist and stuff and realized. She said we finally tried it after I avoided it my wedding night. I cried and screamed. Religion has been so strict and sexuality was so policed my whole life. I didn't even think this was something that could be pleasurable. It all seemed scary. Subconsciously, I knew this wasn't the life for me. We weren't going to use a condom. And I was also scared that I would have kids right away. They still have not had sex a year into it. Can't figure out anything of what she can't even use. Like tampons in case she likes the tickle. So she. She doesn't. I know she's like wads up.

[Brady]

So there's guilt.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's terrible. She can't do it. But she says, I feel bad for him. This is not what a wife should do. I felt like a prisoner and it wasn't his fault. I created a prison. And I'm like, this is where we have to ask religions to knock it off.

[Brett]

How many religions are there out there in the world? Find another one.

[John Holmberg]

Pick one that doesn't do this to you or your.

[Brady]

But I don't. You know, just doesn't match up. Because even her parents would say, you know, there's one thing waiting till you're married, but. And when you're married, you gotta look.

[John Holmberg]

But sexual repression. You have to please your husband, which I love that. But if you've scared kids.

[Brady]

But if you don't have to.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, if you've scared somebody with God and they believe he watches and your pleasure zones are bad. All of them that. Look, sexual repression is religion's fault. The reason people have hang ups is because religion. It's also got a good side to it, which keeps you from being crazy. But it is really like. Especially Mormons. Those folks are. That's a. They got some strict stuff over there with that. Like fear.

[Brady]

Get your money.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. And yeah, you're afraid that the sky wizard will crush you if you touch your pee pee.

[Brady]

Unless it's with the minister.

[John Holmberg]

So this makes. Well, right. And that's my point is a lot of the times they're like. But they do it and they get caught doing stuff. And everybody's supposed to be all right with it. We have to get it to where religion takes the shackles off of this thing completely. Can your God is what I'm asking Brady, come down and like fire into a tablet again and maybe the new tablets, an iPad, modernize God. Why didn't God Send down the Ten Commandments on iPad? IPads. He knew they were coming.

[Brady]

They are now.

[John Holmberg]

But you think originally he went to with what their technology was. That makes sense.

[Brady]

You gotta admit, the stone, I'm pretty impressive.

[John Holmberg]

How much more impressed would they have been if it was on an iPad?

[Brady]

Blown away.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Brady]

There'd be no questions.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it would have been like, whoa, that's God. If he broke out an iPad of commandments and Moses is like, no, what the. This you have to hook up to wi Fi. We don't have it. Hold on. Now you do 5G. Thanks God. How do I explain this to them? Tell them God gave it to you. They'll buy it. And then he shows him an iPad with the commandments. That's a tablet I can get behind. Anybody can carve into a rock. You want to prove yourself? Break out some, some 2025 stuff on those druids back in the day. Can you come down one more time and just say sorry about that iPad.

[Brady]

And a gold chest.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you guys missed out completely. My bad. I didn't mean for you guys to be so afraid of sex. It's awesome. And then like throwing a God thing after.

[Brady]

But that was. I mean even if you're talking about that in the script, he don't even.

[John Holmberg]

He brings it up that way. He brings it up a lot. Saying impure thoughts, swing fest, free marriage. Marriage. Not one forever.

[Brady]

Yeah, but they're getting, you know, wait until you're 12.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was back. Middle aged is basically, basically saying, hold off. It's dirty, it's nasty, it's gross. He covered up Adam and Eve for a reason. But come down and say it. God, I'm asking if you'd come down, throw out a new tablet. Just says, look, you guys missed the boat on my sex talk. I think you took it too far. Calm down. And then say something that God would say, except for you homos, that's gross. And then go back up and be God again.

[Brady]

Down.

[John Holmberg]

Like do it God's way. Come down, make us know your gods. Like, oh, he's. I guess we over interpreted the sex thing where it's. We can loosen up a little bit. Unless it's in the butt, it's an exit only. It jerks. Do it. Read a book. And then God just floats back up to heaven. Like got him. Then like, I think that was God because he added the thing about the gays at the end he hates them.

[Brady]

You can do it. I'm telling you, you're going to prolapse eventually.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, he doesn't say that. The book. The book is.

[Brady]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just saying that's your interpretation. God goes, go ahead if you want. Has never once been in the book.

[Brady]

God.

[John Holmberg]

Do it if you want to. Idiots. Your ass will fall out. That would have been an excellent God. That's a God I could get behind at page four. Ecclesiastes. Hey, go ahead. Weirdos. You want to stick your dick in that, that's fine. Your ass might fall out on the 10th day.

[Brett]

God created the chocolate LeBaron.

[John Holmberg]

I'm telling you, you're gonna have nothing but trouble doing it that way. But you know what? Do what you do. Don't listen to me. I'm only. Only God.

[Brady]

The chocolate chariot.

[John Holmberg]

Early God, pre Jesus, never once said, do what you want. He basically got free will. But I'm telling you right now, turn into salt and stone if you screw around. Especially you homos. And then it floats back up. He hated them lobster shrimp. He went nuts about that. There's, like, rules about it. Don't eat that. It's bad for you. It's crusty stations. What about free will? Oh, you. You're taking advantage right there is what you're doing. Don't eat the shrimp.

[Brady]

He does say in the. And then later the New Testament about the Old Testament. Hey, that's. That's the old way, right?

[John Holmberg]

Because he was wrong. He goes to the New Testament. Jesus, like a little. A little rough on the whole shrimp thing. Those are delicious. Why'd you make it so tasty?

[Brady]

I tried that shrimp.

[John Holmberg]

Why did you make. Say, dad.

[Brady]

Whoever made cocktail sauce.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to be a dick, but I ate some of that shrimp. Shrimp? You might have missed the boat on that one. Really?

[Brady]

Can we lift that?

[John Holmberg]

Can we write a new book and leave the shrimp part out of it? I suppose. Pretty pissed off about shrimp, though.

[Brady]

Wait until you try bacon.

[John Holmberg]

Have you had drawn butter? And lobster? Yeah, that's it.

[Brady]

I told you.

[John Holmberg]

No telling you, man. One bite.

[Brett]

Give it a shot.

[John Holmberg]

You got a new religion. Jesus. You were right. I was way off on how good lobster tastes. All right, blank that out. Let him have tattoos and be a little lighter on the homos. But not too light. First book, kind of a mistake. Kid came along, fixed everything and. Not perfect. Well, actually I am. But still. Anyway, come on down, tell us to lighten up so dudes don't marry some girl who's so afraid of penises that she can't have sex with. With her husband. That's horrible. And then it gets on the news. That's another thing. I don't understand how that happens. Did that happen at Coldplay, too? How do we know about this?

[Brady]

Amazing. With that concert uncovered.

[John Holmberg]

Let's take a look over here. Who's all yellow? Oh, that's a Mormon girl who's sewn a vagina shut because she's so afraid of sex. Sorry.

[Brady]

The virgin cam.

[John Holmberg]

You scoom on your skin and bones. Ah, this virgin cam. Look at that. There's a guy who's been married for a year, can't have sex with his wife. It's all sewn up. She. She has to mop up her menstruation with a sock. She won't even use tampons because it was all yellow. I'm going to Coldplay next time. Just gonna. I'm not. I'm just gonna. Popcorn and just stare at the screen. I don't even care about the songs.

[Brady]

Ready? You ready?

[John Holmberg]

Science and progress. Oh, what's that in the front row there? It looks like it's a guy just as Hitler with Rustbar. Oh, it's Scott Taylor, everybody. It's KPD Scott Taylor from Digital 1260. Kiss 1230. The rhythm of the city. Digital department. Anyway, what are you gonna do? I digress. Stop crapping at work. And that's the other thing. I just argue with Scott. He's like, nobody even knows I'm here, so who am I impressing by being here so early? I'm like, you're making my argument for me. Stay home an extra 15 minutes and take a dump. I don't have to yet. Then wait till you do.

[Brady]

He doesn't realize it. Like, two hours later, people go in the back. The bathroom. Like, oh, Taylor's here.

[John Holmberg]

Taylor's been here for hours. Yeah, gotta be here early. Early bird gets the worm. Better spend about an hour in the bathroom wrecking it before anyone else shows.

[Brett]

By the time he's dropping, there's still nobody here. Nobody's gonna know.

[John Holmberg]

40 minutes.

[Brett]

We're the only ones here.

[John Holmberg]

And he said, oh, you're the only one that would be impressed with me being here early. I'm like, then stop doing it. Right. I gotta get stuck. Stuff done. Stay late.

[Brett]

He's got an iPad. Do it at home.

[John Holmberg]

I know what's really going on. It's that wife of his. He's tired of smelling like he stinks up the house and then runs away.

[Brett]

She kicks him Out.

[John Holmberg]

So she said you're not allowed. She. She did what I'm doing. You're not allowed to take here in the morning anymore because you'd leave afterwards and you'd leaving us with the mess. You do that at work. You go in early and take care of that. No one's there.

[Brett]

Okay, honey, stop a QT or something.

[John Holmberg]

And then they click their heels together. And then you leaves dressed as Hitler again. Anyway, we got a what would Brady do? Coming up in just moments. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny?

[Brady]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? You pd. Sorry, I hit the button a little earlier. We were laughing.

[Brett]

But you're not wrong.

[John Holmberg]

No, Brett just compared to Margot Robbie's baby is compared it to Scott Taylor's deuce this morning. Brett has a thing for kids. That is not healthy.

[Brett]

No. I hate him.

[John Holmberg]

It's time now. I don't hate kids. There's. I'm not a huge fan.

[Brett]

They suck.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. You're very convincing. I like a man who's Tell me I'm wrong. No, it's hard to argue, man. I might be leaning your way. Although I'm nice to him. You're nice?

[Brett]

I'm nice enough. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's a way to get away from him.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing worse than when somebody thinks it's all a joke and they drag their kid over to me. And kids love me for some reason, because a giant one.

[Brett]

It just seemed to wreck everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But then they come by and I'm like, I'll joke with him. Like that kid that came by, Sanjay's daughter that was here. And I just kept saying, like, nobody wants you here. Why do you say that? And she's like, all nervous. I'm like, you're a child. We hate this, by the way. So sit in your chair.

[Brett]

We like Sanjay, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Sanjay knew. I was just concerned that Sanjay had climbed on a plane to go, like, do a mission for Allah or something and left her behind.

[Brett]

He was in Spirit Airlines in Florida.

[John Holmberg]

Your father loves you very much. I have to go do some work. You will stay with Emmy. She's your new mummy. Brady, are you ready?

[Brady]

Ready.

[John Holmberg]

Time for what would Brady Do? It's brought to you by our friends at MMP Guns. Oh, I gotta get over there. Get that steeler stuff inside. Mo money pawn. And they are ready to go. 12th street and Indian School. That's where you have to go. To get in there. They've got all the things you'll ever need as far as weapons and mmp, Guns and bullets.

[Brett]

They're doing some work for me right now.

[John Holmberg]

What do you got?

[Brett]

Improving my AR a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

In what way?

[Brett]

Getting a new trigger put in it and then second ordering a suppressor.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, look at that smirk on his face. Got it all there.

[Brett]

Where else would I go? Why would I.

[Brady]

Someone has plans.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what it sounds like. I'm naive, so don't do this as a. It's like a guy asking who doesn't know anything about engines. Asking anything. Are suppressors. Are there. There's legal and illegal suppressors and I obviously know MFP guns going to go the legal route. Yeah, but what is the difference?

[Brett]

It's got to be. It's got to go through the, you know, one you buy from a dealer and it actually gets registered.

[John Holmberg]

But the suppressors are pretty much technologically all the same.

[Brett]

Yeah, for the most part. There's differences here and there, but they do the same thing, so.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so. No, the reason what I'm asking is one doesn't do something. I was like, oh, we've got to ban that.

[Brett]

No, no, no, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

They just. It's just how they're distributed. Have to be very like, okay, I didn't know that. That's interesting. Well, thank you.

[Brett]

Well, go down to mmp.

[Brady]

They'll.

[Brett]

They'll explain it all to you. They'll teach you how to load your nine. I mean, you know, because we know you need that.

[John Holmberg]

Cannot figure that thing out at all.

[Brett]

Byron will help you out.

[John Holmberg]

It's the strongest spring in the world. Ticker didn't bounce. Like this thing throws bullets back out.

[Brady]

I think.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think the gun will shoot the bullet as fast as the magazine fires it out. When I try to load it, just shoving them in there with my thumb, I'm like, I'm going to smash this bullet before I get it. And it goes down there like, got it. Then to put the second one in there. It's the world's most like, stubborn PEZ dispenser. It's just shoots it. I'm like, well, that bullet's somewhere under the bed. I'm never gonna see that again. Cat comes out with a bullet in its mouth. Like, I'm sorry. They're fired all over the place anyway. They'll explain stuff like that for dumb people like me. Or to Brett, who likes this kind of stuff and does, like, looks into of things. I Understand guns? I don't understand all the rules and stuff. That's why I get nervous about it. They can help you out with all that stuff and then some MMP guns. 12th street and Indian School inside Mo Money Pond Brady. Ready?

[Brady]

Ready.

[John Holmberg]

Let's start here. Dear Brady, I work overnights at a retail store and in our crew there's an older white lady who constantly complains that everyone should speak English. Keep in mind, our crew consists of 13 to 18 people, all Mexican, two black guys and the older white lady that I just mentioned. The shift leads always have the crew meetings in Spanish and then they say it in English. But it seems to bother her. Let's call her Mildred. To the point where she yells out in the meeting, speak English. You're in America.

[Brady]

She's talking to the black guys when.

[John Holmberg]

She is mad at the brothers.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What it is, cuz Stuart, is I don't speak jive. Now I get along with her just fine. I thought she was an irritable person. But one day she kept complaining about, quote, Mexicans ruining our country, taking our jobs, lazy criminals, so forth, so on. And I told her something along the lines of only racist people obsess about race. It's a great phrase, Eddie. Good one. She lost it on me. Called me an a hole racist myself even though I'm Mexican. Mexican. You can still be a racist and Mexican. I've seen it. She said she'll say something whether we like it or not. She's not afraid anymore. I don't know if I should say something to a, to an HR lady or not. What would Brady do in regards of dealing with this potential wildly racist co worker, Eddie?

[Brady]

I mean the only thing to do is if there's an HR or something, play it. I'm. I'm uncomfortable with the situation, situation here. But it sounds like they had their little talk and he knows where she stands. You know, I. It's funny, you immediately, you know, you come across a person similar to that before, like I can't believe this. Why do we have to do this? And right in Spanish. Can't we just do it in English? Because I went to, to a church before, years ago that they would do it both in English and Spanish.

[John Holmberg]

Invite me to the English one.

[Brady]

It was double. They doubled it and then they finally decided let's do them separate.

[John Holmberg]

Right? That's dumb. You're wasting half of everyone's time is being wasted. Yeah, Mexicans and whites or whoever, English speaking. You're wasting everybody's time.

[Brady]

But I don't, I Don't think there's. And the only way to fix it is either. I think the get another job.

[John Holmberg]

No, the better way to fix it out. Go over and talk to the other Mexicans, see if one of them will tell. That way you don't get the rat tag. But you're like, somebody's got to do something. You should hear and just start lying. You should hear what she says about you guys. Like when you're not listening to her. I mean, the stuff she says out loud is terrible. I mean, she's. I think she's. We got to problem her hands. And she especially hates. And then pick like the weakest one and say especially hates you. I think she might attack you and then have that guy. I think you should tell hr like, you there's threats. You think I'm like, I'm pretty sure of it. And then have him go to hr. But you got to make sure that the guy's got documents and stuff too, because otherwise he's.

[Brady]

What does it matter? Does it matter on that factor on the hr? Because isn't the. Isn't the complaint anonymous to begin with?

[John Holmberg]

That's good point.

[Brady]

I never tell you. You, oh, this person completely 13 days unless it was a personal.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you try to get a bam. He's trying to get a bunch of people to write an anonymous letter.

[Brady]

But I think going to HR is the.

[John Holmberg]

Is the route to go sign Chris Valenzuela. What if she's hr, you take her.

[Brett]

To a Coldplay concert.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. You molest her at a Coldplay concert and get her out. That's the best way to. You know what, Start having an affair with her. That's a good idea, Brett. Sleep with the red racist. Take some pictures and go, she's molesting me out on her ass.

[Brady]

If she's hr, encourage her to do social media and just a matter of time before the posts come out.

[John Holmberg]

Good point. That's a tough one. You got a racist co worker who laughs at everything racist or even remotely close to being racist, and you just don't know who to tell.

[Brett]

The hell's everybody looking at me for? Hell's wrong with you guys?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you wouldn't rat on her. You'd get somebody else to do it. Right. You manipulate. You manipulate that. I wouldn't rat on her either. Because if it fails, then you're. Then you've. Now you've lit a racist on fire.

[Brady]

Although she did kind of go after him a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

I got an idea. You know, this is like that moment in life. Serial like, let's get Mikey. You'll do it. The blacks will do it. Tell the two blacks that she's sniffing around the NW when they're not around. Says it a lot, brother. Hol's morning sickness. Hol's morning sickness.

[Brady]

It's a good point, though. He's. He's hearing it from the Hispanic side.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just go over.

[Brady]

Hey, how is her views on the. The two brothers?

[John Holmberg]

Can I talk to you for a second, Homie? Yeah. What's going on, Edgar? Edgar. That's his name. Hey, Mild. Says the N word quite a bit, man. I don't know. I just want to let you guys know. I don't want you to get caught off guard, you know? But I'm hearing her say it a lot. You might hear it. I'm not sure you're going to be happy with that. She's rough on us, too. But. N word. And then go, later, player. And then put that weird cigar in your mouth and ride your bike back to your desk. And they'll be like, Edgar just said, Mildred using the N word.

[Brady]

Nuclear?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, the other one.

[Brady]

Man.

[John Holmberg]

And then they'll. Maybe they'll. They'll handle it. Heard you using the nword. Huh? And. And either Mildred gets fired or she ends up in a black.com video. And either way, we've taken care of Mildred. Tell the blacks. If I hear her say the N word one more time, I might have to take matters into my own little tiny hands. We'll handle this right now, Edgar. Thank you. What did you do?

[Brady]

Did you.

[John Holmberg]

Did you fix it, Edgar? I told the black guys they're gonna handle this. None of us can tell because they'll last for Pat papers. That might be why they're just like, deal with Mildred. We don't need ice rolling in here all masked up. Black guys will handle it. Good luck, Edgar. This one says. He said, I tried to keep this short, but I can't. Been married for 27 years as of a couple weeks ago. Last couple years have not been good. Living mostly out of the house since the first of the year. I do have places to go, kind of in seeing a girl in that last two months or so. Used to be a dancer and cheerleader for an NBA team. She's younger than me by 10 years. She's very pretty and a lot of fun. We always have a great time. And I don't have to whine or a diner much, just drinks here and there. Problem is, she won't let me bang her because the whole marriage thing, I'm guessing. Also there are days in a row and I can't get in touch with her. She says she's been busy. Then she's back on the radar and responsive. She says I need to get through some things. My wife and son and we go out for our annual California trip, couple weeks every July. A couple weeks ago my wife serves me divorce papers at my work. So I'm like, eff it. I'd ask the girl if she wants to go to San Diego with me. Oh my God, this guy's in trouble already. She's all in. We start planning it and I'm thinking maybe this is a thing with her and it's finally gonna happen. A couple days before, though, we're supposed to leave, she disappears again. And suddenly she says she can't go because of work. So I say effort again, last minute, ask the ex wife to be if she wants to go to San Diego and tell her we can just hang out. So she says yeah, let's do that, as long as there's no sex and stuff. So she decides to go. And things are okay till the fourth day when I get copied on an email from her attorney saying that my work and personal bank are being supported. Peanut. So the wife and I have a not so great conversation on vacation. She gets pissed, packs up all of her stuff and leaves. Coming home. So I think. So I'm solo in San Diego, actually having a great time. I have some friends out here, so I'm staying. Brady, should I pursue the new girl? She's the one who started this whole thing. I like her, but some other dude or something going on, I don't know. She claims she was married to an NBA player back in the day. Well, that's why she doesn't want to have sex with you. Yeah, she can't expose that boner garage beast machine. Hello? I still love the wife, but she's crazy. I don't think I could live with her anymore full time after being on my own for six months. Life is easy without her. But I've been having tons of fun. Divorce going to cost me a fortune. Should I run as fast as I can from both? Pick one. You two do it. Signed, the f'd guy. Sorry. For how long that was.

[Brady]

I would say get finished with the the current marriage, get clear of everything. Clear that before you even look at going into another.

[John Holmberg]

Don't start swinging on the two vines at once because it's going to cost you twice as much. You think?

[Brady]

And on the Other side of it is if, you know, he says, still love. Loves her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't know. I. I always feel like, man, if you feel like you've given it 100 that you're doing, you know, given that relationship, it. It's all. It's just not happening, then you're out. But if you don't feel that way.

[John Holmberg]

But he does also feel, I'm sure reading this, he doesn't want to go through the losing of all the stuff.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's a huge part. The other thing is, you know, it's. It's. It's. It's on him a little bit. It's hard, you know, you can't understand how it happens. But you. You tasted a little bit of the other side.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Started having fun with somebody else, but you were probably being more fun yourself, you know.

[Brady]

Right. And that can blur things right now. But just know, yeah. Like, if it's going to be done because the Fed. A couple people I know that went violence, like, it's expensive. That what I have learned at least hearing from other people, like a guy like. Well, I said Titus or whoever that.

[John Holmberg]

Drug it on for me. Didn't drag anything on. She did.

[Brady]

She did.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

If you can just get it done.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's. That's the ultimate. But. Yeah, but like, if. Probably. Right. Clear the. Clear the decks of everything and then start over somewhere else.

[Brady]

But I'll leave it at that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This all stinks. And I'm telling you, tolerate the wife. Keep your stuff. Just keep your stuff.

[Brady]

And there's a lot of people that do that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Tons of them. Maybe there's that.

[Brady]

The problem is you want to. How do you, you know, how do you find the happy medium on that? Because you're still wanting to have that fun.

[John Holmberg]

Jason emails and this asshole deserves every bad thing that happens to him. And I don't know if he's talking about this guy in the email or the guy, the CEO. He's a douche, cheater, douche. Again, we only know this little situation if it's the email you're talking about. He actually started that after they separated. The CEO, we don't know. His whole story looks bad, but he doesn't deserve everything that's happening to him.

[Brady]

It seems like there's more people that are staying in it. Well, for their financial reason, sure.

[John Holmberg]

But there's also the, you know, you got to kind of recognize your world. Where are you? Do you want to stay with this person? Do they want to stay with you? What are you Doing this. Poor bastard. But you haven't even boned the girl.

[Brady]

The other one, it sounds like she's crazier than.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's worse than the other one. She's just seeing if you'll leave for her and she's going to disappear. It's a game to her.

[Brady]

And odds are you probably there's a chance you could be love bombing a little bit. Like, oh yeah, I can save you a good time. Let's go.

[John Holmberg]

For sure. Boy, oh boy. The F guy, man. That's enough. Some real problems today. Racism. And much like the first story I'm going to tell the F guy, I'm going to tell the F guy, much like I, you know, mentioned in the first story. Get a couple of black guys in there. They'll handle this. They'll take care of both those ladies ways. You can't do it. You got HR problems. Lean on Tyrone. Get troubles with a lady, same thing. They'll take care of it.

[Brett]

Officer Blaze.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right. Rico will hang, handle it, and then she'll realize how good she had it with you.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So at least when you were done with her, she could still go to the mall. Two days later, after Rico, she's got a. She's still in traction. You think you're the F guy. There you go, that's interesting. You're also very interesting. There you go. That's it. That's what Brady did. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Brady]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? Yeah, there you go, Nickelback. That's right, you heard me, Nickelback. Crushing it for you right there. Not a bad thing either. Get a bad rap. Like the Nickelback, the guy who has the meetings in both Spanish and English. I just got an email from. From. From. Hang on.

[Brady]

Someone in hr.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's an office meeting here and it. Where the hell was it? Let me find it. Hang on. Can't quite find it.

[Brady]

Did it help him?

[John Holmberg]

No, it's from. It's from Argy. Or. It says that all of our meetings from now on will be also in German. I didn't know if that was signed, Susan.

[Brady]

So South Thomas.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. And she says to the sales staff, don't forget to wear your armband. I don't even know what that means.

[Brett]

But the sales staff, it's required too.

[John Holmberg]

Are they all. It's 10 o', clock, sales meeting. Is everybody ready? Oh, Christ.

[Brady]

Fired up.

[John Holmberg]

She's ready to go again. You can't have two meetings in two languages. Knock it off. This guy says to your FBI listener. Dig a hole for the wife and avoid the gold digging. You're one of many men she's milking. Move on. This guy says that last what would Brady do? Has me feeling really good about being gay because I got 99 problems but ain't one. Rebel Hollingsworth. He's got the best name of all of our listeners. Has he told us he's gay before? I don't know either. I'm Rebel Hollingsworth, homosexual. Anyway, it's time now for Brady to give you all the news entertainment style brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. Self defense training is always a necessity. Whether you have training or not, if you need it, you will learn to defend yourself rather quickly. And a lot of it is based on your aim instincts. So people who say, oh, I don't know anything about it, or I don't know what I'm doing, yeah, that's right. That's the whole point of it. What would you do if something happened and you don't know anything? If you're quick to say the words, I don't know anything about that, why dismiss it? It's called learning and being better at being yourself. They're really great with people who don't know anything. You go from being an absolute nothing to something. After the first class, you're going to go in there, go, okay, I learned something today. And you don't say that too much as an adult. You learn every time you go up there to react defense. So become better at being you. No matter what shape, size, skill level you think you're at, you're ready to go because it's what you present to the world every day. So put something in your back pocket, become a little bit better at being yourself, become a little more confident, get in better shape. It's all available to you and the price is ridiculously low. So hop on that thing. You can also do private one on ones, which is an amazing way to learn this stuff. It's all good. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

There's a new unauthorized biography of Gwyneth Paltrow where she talks about when she was dating Ben Affleck and they used to love a certain sex act. They tried to describe it. They got a little wordy. They could have just easy said how did they say she loved? Okay, well, they say I probably shouldn't name it on the air. Let's just say because she's being interviewed, Right? It involves a man dipping a certain part of his anatomy into a certain part of a woman's anatomy as if they were preparing a certain type of afternoon drink popular in the uk.

[John Holmberg]

Teabag.

[Brady]

Teabagging.

[John Holmberg]

She's teabagging. Gwyneth Paltrow likes teabagging. With Ben Affleck in particular.

[Brett]

Wonder if Chris Martin agrees.

[Brady]

She moved it on to a Brad Pitt.

[John Holmberg]

I wonder if Brett's right. I wonder if that passed on to Chris Martin. I wonder if she asked him if. If he wouldn't mind that or if he tried it first. She goes, I'm totally into it. I don't even know how you. I don't even know how you open that door.

[Brett]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Brady]

I mean, think about the rest of the list, too, of the guys that she dated.

[John Holmberg]

Lights will try. That's beautiful. Beautiful. Chris, put your balls in my mouth. What? You say, I didn't hear you. What? And ignore what you've known. I've written this little song about you, Gwyneth. I will stick my balls in your mouth. Change up that. Change up that last line. I really don't know what to do.

[Brady]

Evidently, Jelly Roll was the guest host of Jimmy Kimmel Live last week. Week. And it was a success.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

During his monologue, he said, if I really suck, remember my name's Post Malone.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good one.

[Brady]

Later in the show, he choke slammed Logan Paul because he's promoting his wd.

[John Holmberg]

They're together. Yeah.

[Brady]

A stampede.

[John Holmberg]

With my balls in your mouth. Where do I put my balls now? I suggest you mouth. I love that song, too. Chris. Is that about me?

[Brett]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

It's all I think about when I see you now.

[Brett]

So I'm gonna think about when I hear Coldplay now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. What's this one? Another words on that one. Let's see what we've got here. Into your open sleeping mouth. I used to keep my balls out of other people's mouths. Then I met Gwyneth Paltrow. Nice. And I stuff my bows in her mouth. Nailed us, too. Is there a reason I can't explain my pools in your mouth making me insane. Sorry. Working on my new Coldplay stuff. Just in time.

[Brady]

Every song ends with Goop, which.

[John Holmberg]

That's where she got the name. Name your product. Goop. Gwyneth.

[Brady]

A stampede broke out at an Atlanta train station last week as fans you to. Not a train station.

[John Holmberg]

I looked at Brett, like, don't they have Tran stations in hot lanta?

[Brady]

This is a train station. Fans were leaving the Beyonce concert. Eleven people injured because someone mentioned there was a bug on the escalator, and the crowd freaked out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. I watched and I survived. Survived where? I don't know how this happened. I'm watching. Like, I survived is usually pretty awesome. Where there's like a. Like, two dudes were captured by Al Qaeda. That was a good episode. A girl who got shot four times in the back, once in her head.

[Brett]

Damn.

[John Holmberg]

By her boyfriend, and laid there, and she's like, the only reason I stayed alive is because I could see my son out of the corner of my eye. I had to stay awake. I just had to. I was like, my God. And then one lady, she pops on and she goes. We were at the. This mall, and somebody fell down and. And kind of bowling balled over about nine more people on an escalator. And they piled up, and she was on the bottom, and it sucked her legs and busted them in half and then took her dad's back because he was on the bottom of the pile before the end, where the major steel teeth are. And when the stairs closed up, you know how they close up the thing, it pinched his back skin and ripped because he was laying underneath all those people. And I'm like, how did no one get up? And then. Oh, yeah, that's the other part. The reason they fell is because the escalator went nuts. They were down on the bottom, and then something happened, and the escalator just said, hey, I got a. I got a gear. Like, I got a Ferrari engine. And just flew up the thing threw everybody back.

[Brady]

Horrifying because someone said, I mean, there's, you know, 11 people injured. One person broke their ankle, but this person lost a leg, began screaming and running, causing a stampede, because they saw a bug. The escalator. It caused it to temporary temporarily speed up and then suddenly stopped.

[John Holmberg]

That's what this one did. Remember the lady in China a few years ago?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Who the. When you step off it, it broke, and she sucked in and it popped her head off.

[Brady]

Yeah. Ask a. I was seeing the one kid, too, with a. The flip flops got caught.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It tears yours. It just keeps going. There's no stopping that monster.

[Brady]

The original bike from Peewee's Big Adventure will be permanently displayed at the Alamo.

[John Holmberg]

I wanna bleed my balls dry. This is for my wife. She's the one over there with the. This Looks like a snake that's detached its jaw. What's this one called? Yellow. Oh, yellow. That's right.

[Brett]

You want me start it over for you?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I got it though. If you want to start it over, you can.

[Brady]

Shannon Sharp.

[John Holmberg]

Look at my balls. Look how they shine for you. And they go in your mouth. Then I cover your face and goo. All right. Chris is throwing me off in the background. I'm gonna sing along for us.

[Brett]

Got nothing on you.

[John Holmberg]

Look at this. Nothing. I got this.

[Brady]

Shannon Sharp settled his 50 million dollar rape lawsuit.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Look. Yep. I told you she didn't. I didn't do it. I wasn't done that. Brett. I wouldn't done that. That he didn't let. Listen. Let them. I didn't do it.

[Brett]

Couldn't skip that payment.

[John Holmberg]

Could not skip, skip, skip that payment. Couldn't do it. R to the A to the P to the E. Wasn't me.

[Brady]

Terms of the agreement weren't disclosed.

[John Holmberg]

A lot. The answer you need, Brady there is a lot. I didn't do it.

[Brady]

It done.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't do it. I gotcha. Yeah, I was trying to take a drink. Look at the stall. How they should time for you. That's called Shannon play. Shannon play. That's what we call that. Now that I haven't raped. I can do it again. Is ESPN hiring back?

[Brady]

I thought he's back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I haven't seen him. So.

[Brett]

I know the podcast Club Sh.

[John Holmberg]

Club Shay. Club Shay mine. That belonged to me. Can't take that. Didn't do that.

[Brady]

That belong him back. He'll have to get approved by Stephen A. Smith and that's right.

[John Holmberg]

Stephen A. Smith. He know what good for my. That's right. That's right. He know what good you couldn't identify. You couldn't identify me. Shannon is actually pretty darn entertaining on the Club Shay Shay. But paying off the girl isn't necessarily better, I don't think. Right. All right. Larry's back, everybody. That's a great thing. Our fearless leader has rolled back in from his vacation. Larry is home and he's said it.

[Brady]

Was a 10 out of 10.

[John Holmberg]

10 out of 10, right? Little family trip. That's right. Right? Larry's back. Right? Look who's back. It's Larry. Larry's gonna give you all the things he didn't give you last week. He's gonna make it up to you that he's been missing in action for a week. So be nice to Larry. He'll be nice back to you. We're done. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Right here in the morning Sickness. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.