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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
John Holmberg
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Brett Vesely
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John Holmberg
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Brady
What the hell is wrong with you?
John Holmberg
PD Good. Oh my God. I blew my. I blew my voice out this weekend. You have no idea. Good morning everybody. Hello there. How are you? It's bad. I got band rehearsal tomorrow too. I got to get that fixed. I just. It was too much. A lot of. A lot Goofing around, shoot up. And then followed up with absolutely nothing, which was worse. Yeah, I just gotta get. Yeah, just get a bunch of whatever it is. It's 5:45. My name's John. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brad. Toledo is not here. Where I was as yesterday. It was working remote birthday. And I may have never had more fun with somebody's birthday via text. And thank you to Brett for that because I just wished him on our little text thread. The show text thread. Hey, Happy birthday toled. And then Brett followed up with happy birthday by himself. And his happy birthday automatically spawned the balloons. The balloons.
Brett Vesely
I didn't even know that.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you put happy birthday on. And if you just write Happy birthday and send balloons and Toledo says, oh thanks guys, but we have to all admit that balloons between us is a little bit Katie kb. And that's code for wildly homosexual. So then it started because I said, you ungrateful pile of what? And it began after that with me searching my phone just said I literally put into the search line graphic gay porn, money shot pictures. You found it and I found you did well. So every. I don't know, I. 30 minutes hour.
Brady
Mercury.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You broke out of Freddie Mercury was like gay and like no, that's not gay enough to be ungrateful. We need to show him some things and remember that he's on a little three day birthday holiday with some friends. So I want his phone to open up every few minutes in California with you know, hopefully a waiter looking over his shoulder. Something like that. And people seeing son. His son was just people seeing. And some of the grossest, like I've never. I didn't know what a daisy chain was, but wow, that is just nuts to butts across the room.
Brady
That was cold.
John Holmberg
It is awesome.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
But I've never had more fun with that because every like, you know, I'd go about my business minding my own and then a couple hours would go by and be like, oh yeah, Toledo's gay birthday. And then I'd fire that over there and have the time of my life for that one. And all I had to do was say that, oh, it's a little gay. And I'm like the one thing I couldn't do and tried to do was add this 93 3. I have no clue how to get that on there from this computer because I wasn't here.
Brett Vesely
I almost sent the video over. I was like, no, I Got it on there.
John Holmberg
The rosebud. Oh, just a screenshot. Yeah, I should. Oh, I was too. Naugh.
Brett Vesely
Looking at the ones you were sending.
John Holmberg
Over, I'm like, all right. If at all you have a friend getting on a plane or in a meeting or with. On a date or anything else, there's nothing better than blowing their phone up with graphic gay pictures. Like, there's nothing funnier. And I learned that from Jon Lovitz, because while I was hanging out with Lovitz, he was in my car. Ah, God, not again. And I looked at his phone, and there was a dude just naked in a mirror. And I'm like, what are you doing? And he goes, oh, the guy who started Cameo shoots over these gay pictures When I tell him I'm with a friend. And I mean, it didn't stop. And he goes. He does it on planes. And he calls me. He'll FaceTime me when I pick it up. He's nude. This is great.
Brady
Today's the day for.
John Holmberg
It's his birthday. Yeah, I should get him too.
Brady
Send him a couple of those daisy chains.
John Holmberg
I will.
Brett Vesely
Apparently, Toledo just texts at the beach with a Japanese family behind us. Mission accomplished for us.
John Holmberg
Yep. See, we did it. Even better. Well, his birthday's over, so that's enough of that. But if you have a friend who's celebrating and he's. He's like, oh, the balloons are gay. Like, Brett controls that.
Brett Vesely
I didn't think tonight I forgot about it.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah, you can do that. Or the confetti or fireworks.
Brady
I thought it was cute.
John Holmberg
I did too. I like it. I'm not gonna lie to you. I like the balloons. I think that's a neat feature. And then I like the fireworks. I don't remember how that. It used to give you an option. Like, it would give you like, four or five, but you'd shake.
Brady
Yeah, it was like a combo.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You can make an earthquake. I never got the combo, but, like, it gives you, like, five or six things, and click on the one you wanted it to be. Balloons or fireworks or confetti.
Brady
Maybe the fireworks for sure come out on the Happy New Year.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, yeah. And then the slam. But you used to be able to pick it. Like, you could do it no matter what. Anyway, happy birthday, Toledo. But he's not here today because of that. He and his wife are marching somewhere against right wing politics. That's. That's today. He had his birthday yesterday, and then today he's been. I think he's down there throwing Molotov cocktails at ice. I'm pretty sure that's. I think that's Toledo's. That's what he has to do today. Has to go down to Karen Bass office in Los Angeles and bathe her.
Brady
And they were saving whales on Saturday.
John Holmberg
That's right. They saved some whales. And then he put his pussy hat on and they did some sort of march for women. And WNBA had their all star game on Saturday. And Toledo had to wear his pay them what they what you owe them shirts. Which hilarious, funniest thing I saw this weekend. And I saw some funny stuff this week. Funniest thing I saw this weekend, the WNBA all star game before. You guys probably don't even know. You know what. Cause no one would. You'd have to watch some of it. What?
Brady
When did it happen?
John Holmberg
Saturday. Sometime, like Matt. Well, the game was on here. Okay, I'm gonna go off now. Here we go. So before the game, all the girls are wearing shirts that say, pay us what you owe us. And again, do the math. Its best year was last year. And as a league, they lost $50 million. That was the best year they've ever had. They've never once had a season where each team wasn't subsidized by their parent NBA team a minimum of $11 million, which covers payroll completely, cover, like by a lot and everything else. So they. They start their entire product at zero before they've sold the ticket or got any TV or anything else. Because the WNBA says we're not going to make it. So you're struggling to pay people or what? Here's $11 million. That'll cover you for the year. No question about it. Go out there. And they've never. So they wear the shirts that say no one saw the shirts until they went online. As with all the memes and stuff saying the girls are out today. And I just. The first comment I wanted to make was no one would have known this existed by watching the game. And whose fault is that? Whose fault is it? Brad, give you a couple of seconds to answer the question. Whose fault is it that no one saw the girls in their plea? Whose fault is that?
Brady
The ladies.
John Holmberg
It is the women's fault. They don't support the league and then they make us misogynists. That's exactly right. Oh, men don't watch because it's all women. Why don't women watch? Why don't women watch the WNBA if it's. If. If it's so good because you got 5%.
Brady
Maybe a little more than that. Enjoy the Game of basketball.
John Holmberg
Incorrect. Women hate each other. That's why it has nothing to do with the sport. Women don't. Watching other women succeed in piles of women. They like women succeeding like Charlize Throne beating up men. They love that. It's called fantasy. They love that reality. Bunch of women on a court together, they can't even get along there. They're the worst group of people in the world. So they start screaming and then they're going to sell their shirts to the other lesbians that say, pay them what you owe them. And technically, if you want to do the math, after all is said and done financially, percentage of pay that the WNBA gets versus the NBA. The WNBA girls would owe about $400 million. They're upside down.
Brady
And earn.
John Holmberg
Earn your pay. How about that?
Brady
And having the best opportunity to take advantage in the last year with Caitlin Clark.
John Holmberg
And they hate her. Hate her. They outwardly fight against it. They don't know how to market. I need to be hired at the wnba. If they want success, call me because everything you're doing is wrong. Here's another thing they did wrong. Watch a little of it. They put no effort into the All Star Game because as a league, they have none of their own ideas. They just copy the NBA 100% across the board. They look at. What do NBA guys do? Oh, they have a thing where they're walking into the arena and it's all fashioned. We're going to do that too. They lazily wander through and sleepwalk through an All Star game. Which, by the way, they have the.
Brady
Layup contest, don't they?
John Holmberg
Well, they have the skills contest. They have no skills. You can have your three point shooting. Three point, but you know, that's one. Then you're going to do some passing drills and like rolling on the ground drills. I don't know what it is. So what they could have done with all this attention. They keep saying, we've got so many new fans. We've got so many new fans. The league's on fire. League. And Dave Portnoy is a troll. Quit turning to Dave Portnoy on all this stuff. That dude loves trolling about this. But they had, they had their opportunity on a primetime game to go out there and show everybody the talent level the WNBA possesses to show all these new fans, to show a bunch. Because it's now being pushed down your throat everywhere. They could have shown them, man, watch this. This is a good product. Nope. No defense. Because that's what the NBA does in their All Star Game. Let's act like this doesn't matter because that's what the NBA does in their. And the NBA All Star Game sucks. And they went out there and acted like they'd earned this and they don't want. So in the same argument of saying, none of us are paid like superstars, they didn't want anybody to get hurt because they're too big an investment to their team. Like, you guys don't make any money. You're saying it yourselves. Nobody loses if you get hurt.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Angel Reese does it the time.
John Holmberg
Yeah. She's always talking about that. Go out there. Holberg's morning sickness. Morning sickness. Holg's morning sickness. I would have been furious if I was the commissioner of the wnba. And I'd have gone into both locker rooms and goes, hey, ladies, what the was that? Well, what did you just do? You know, we fought for this long, this hard for you guys to go out and loaf like you're Kevin Durant and you're not. You haven't earned this. Like, nobody's watching you unless that one plays. And I know you hate that. But she got hurt. And the ticket prices went from $160 to 60 to pregame time. $43. They sit in the lower bowl of a WNBA seems high. And it's still. That was where I would have started. $43. That's about as good as it gets.
Brady
Interesting, you brought up Portnoy because, you know, there's things sometimes I agree with. He's saying. And the one thing he said earlier, it was on Friday. He was talking about Stephen Colbert.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
At CBS. And he's like, it's simple, you know, one, you're losing 40 million a year. CBS is right.
John Holmberg
According to him, that's how much they were paying.
Brady
They're paying Colbert 16 million. He has a staff of 200. And CBS loses 50 million a year. And you turn around and you bad mouth the company. What do you think's gonna happen? That's his. You're going to get fined.
John Holmberg
He was. The whole staff cost $50 million. The whole production. They're not losing $50 million. The whole thing cost.
Brady
According to him.
John Holmberg
He.
Brady
And. But. But then he turns around and says.
John Holmberg
And screams about the wnba. Yeah. He's such a troll.
Brady
Like, but if you're losing money.
John Holmberg
Oh, of course he does. When did this country look at a scraggly Bostonian and say, what's he think? In the past? Since the revolution. Never. We've never done since the Revolution. We've never gone, let's See what people from Boston think. Kennedy might have been the last one, but he didn't even admit it. He was in a different part of Massachusetts Mass. Holes is like. Like, they call themselves. They know. And then Portnoy goes out and get Ms. Peaches and starts parading her around. I'm like, all right, he must be a pretty decent guy. And then he starts yelling at the dumbest stuff. WNBA should be ashamed of itself. Wildly ashamed of itself. It had an opportunity to go out and go, wow, their All Star game is better than all the others because all the other pro sports have quit on their all star games. They. They don't try. It's just like, yeah, we're. We're superstars. We're not even, you know, you're here to see me. It's like, it's this lazy out of.
Brady
All of them, you know, Like, I have to say, even though I missed it, majority of it. But the. The last All Star baseball.
John Holmberg
Oh, we go.
Brady
I mean, it's some unique stuff that.
John Holmberg
Happened, but they're not trying. Yeah.
Brady
And, you know, probably the highlight.
John Holmberg
The derby's a blast. They're not trying, but the big stars won't do it. But, like, but baseball has a hard time because some of These guys are $100 million a year. You can't risk a tweaked back. You know, it. It ruins the product going forward. You get your night out. You understand? It's just kind of a parade of stars. The WNBA doesn't have any stars to parade, but they act like we're lucky to see this. I don't know any of these girls names. They had an opportunity to market this, but they're terrible at it. And they deserve exactly what they get paid, which is absolute because they treat the game like we owe them something. Shut up. I'll quote that brought on Fox News from years ago. Just shut up and dribble. Quit it. You haven't earned a civil rights position yet to start barking out needs. No, you're out. I even. I didn't agree with the girls soccer team because it was only every four years. And then they started saying, pay us as much as the men get paid. And we're like, well, hold on a second. FIFA World cup for men is a whole lot different than women. Have your own sport. Quit comping against everything else and just stand on your own two feet and see what it is. If you don't like the pay, start your own thing. That's. That's what podcasting did to radio. We don't like this. What else is there? And then everybody leaves and goes and makes their own. Conan o' Brien is making more now than he did with tbs because the podcast, all he has to do is employ seven people. And the thing is huge. That's massive because he didn't have to sit with and make money for another company. He's like, they're killing me with, with. They're bloated. So anyway, WNBA weekend was awesome. And you know where I watched it?
Brett Vesely
Title nine.
John Holmberg
Title nine bar. That's close. Oh, I. I met Thriller Saturday night. Oh yeah, that is close. Over at the auto concert. I say Adu because Ado is Adu. I learned that from Shakespeare. And Adu is a Japanese singer. I've never seen security like this in my life. They wanted to take my meta glasses away. You are not allowed to have anything. I think if you brought a sketch pad in, they'd kick you out. You cannot come close to finding the identity of this woman. In fact, because I took him down to the Rah Rah room, you know, Thriller deserved a night out. Put him in the suite for the this weird ass concert he likes. It's Japanime. Those screens are all animated. She stands in a cage all night in a box, head to toe in blackout. Like Mr. Orange, only black and without the child abduction. Oh, okay.
Brett Vesely
I was gonna say.
John Holmberg
And so she stands up there and just wails in Japanese. Oh, that's terrible. The day before. None of us have ever heard of this person. Nobody down in the Rah Rah room had ever heard of this. And they were working the night. I'm talking to Drew the bartender. He's like, never heard of it. Looked her up, the dude the bar back was like, yeah, I looked at her and some of it's okay, but you know, never heard of it. No one knew who this person was. Sold out. The day before the concert, Friday afternoon, 14,000 people stood in line for the merch. They had to open the merch the day before. A day early. A day early. You know what? You know what? She sells flashlights. And the. And these guys eat them up. And Thrillers. Date this kid named Chris. Who, godamn it, Chris, if you don't shave your head, next time I see you. He's got the worst male pattern baldness I've ever seen. He's hanging on to it.
Brett Vesely
Comb over everything.
John Holmberg
It's that weird. It's Cooter from the Dukes of Hazard when he took his hat off. It's just. It's kind of glued. It's all swampy sweat glued, like, the seven or eight shirts. Homer Simpson's hair. Oh, it's. And I just like, look, it's. And I. That was the whole hour discussion of, like, it's over. You're talking to a bald guy. Get it? Oh, no, it's still. I'm like, nope, it's long gone. Like. And he. And I said, what do you do for a living? And he's a. A chef at a. He's a one of them secondary chefs at a night, kind of. He's had another word for it. I don't know what it was at some steakhouse in Chandler, downtown Chandler. I'm like, oh, good for you. I said, do you know why you're not allowed in the front of the house ever? Like, the reason you work in the kitchen. Oh, it's your hair. You look horrifying. You look like a mechanic that just slid out from under a car. Let's get. Anyway, he opens up his little duffel because I said, with hair like that, you walking around with a duffel bag, you look like an incel that's about to blow this place to bits. He opens it up inside, and only this item inside his tiny little duffel bag was this flashlight with what looked like a plastic crystal on top. And he turned it on and a blue light started to flash. And he goes, here's the cool part. All of us bought one. So this lady's got 10,000, 12,000 people in this arena with these blue flashlights. She's, you know, screams something in Japanese or that. Put them up, Put them up. And they control through Bluetooth the color.
Brady
Oh, wow.
John Holmberg
So that was kind of neat. I got to give you that. But she didn't provide them to the fans. You guys participate, you pay for it. And the tickets were $1200.
Brady
Probably have a collector series.
John Holmberg
Oh, I'm sure there's higher ends. But 14,000 people showed they have to open the merch tents the day before because it gets too chaotic. They filled the place.
Brady
The crater was the day before. It was the morning.
John Holmberg
It's insane. Insane. So here's another thing I learned this week in Weekend. She's a Japanese singer, right? And I called my buddy Anthony, who's a rah rah guy, and I said, hey, wanna go down. Go down here and check out this, this, this weirdo festival. And he goes, yes, I do. And he immediately, like, immediately said yes. So Anthony's gonna meet me down there. I had to warn him. I didn't think of this. You Go to a Japanese show, you're not gonna make it. You gotta leave an hour before you normally would. There were so many accidents, and I'm not kidding. So many car accidents on my drive in. And all I had to go was about 11 and a half miles. I saw four freeway freezing accidents and I. And every one of them included a Nissan with a spoiler. Every. I'm not kidding.
Brett Vesely
It was like Fast and Furious. Got in a rack on the way there.
John Holmberg
There's. There was a Tokyo drift.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
There was an Asian guy standing on the next to the accident. And everybody, every single one of them Asians. That's real.
Brett Vesely
Taking pictures too.
John Holmberg
I mean, you know, if we're gonna go that far. You know what I'm gonna go to a point of saying? Not all stereotypes are true.
Brett Vesely
Okay. All right.
John Holmberg
That one is though. That one is 100% true. Not all. That's the thing. Not all stereotypes are true. That one is, you guys can't drive to save your asses. It was, it was Saturday at. I left the house at 5:30 to get downtown. On a Saturday. That's plenty of time to beat traffic. The Asians had mucked up the road so badly, I didn't get to the arena until 6:15. At nine miles, essentially three on the 51. One right on the transition of like 7th street and the 10 when it kind of 51 merges. I'm sitting there on that and I'm like, what in the hell is going on? Drive by. What are that Niso or whatever's written on the side. I'm like, oh, well, there you go. And he gets out and he's standing next to his. What kind of car is that? The Nissan Nismo or whatever? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't even know what kind of car it is. But they, they, they all look exactly. I should say this, the cars all look exactly the same. And they. And they're all kind of the spoiler.
Brady
Is it like the gt?
Brett Vesely
Yeah, it's the gtr.
John Holmberg
It's the gtr.
Brett Vesely
It's the big Nissan. Like, yeah, bad boy.
John Holmberg
It's. Well, and they're all. And they're wrecking them like crazy. You shouldn't be allowed to drive those. Holmberg's morning sickness. Holiday morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness. I'm not kidding when I say it. And I know it's gonna piss people off. We gotta get you back to just pulling things with your legs. That's enough. We're done with you driving. I'VE never seen anything like it. I go to sons games on weeknights. Game starts at 7 and I could leave my house 40 minutes before the game and get comfortably seated before it starts. Go to one Japanese show. That's it. There were. There's the car. They were like. Everyone, every wreck had one of those facing the wrong way on the side of the road. Like he spun out. Every one of them. There was a Nissan on the side of the road. Every one of them. It was weird. So don't. If you ever have to go to a Japanese show, just recognize traffic is going to be a nightmare. And it can be Sunday at three in the morning there's going to be four wrecks at least from where you're coming from.
Brady
Did you notice, did anything change as far as the downtown area? Were those guys that were running the, the bikes, the rickshaw bikes, were they.
John Holmberg
Out there or they were not there? Yeah, there were. You know, I don't think I noticed as many, now that you're pointing it out. I think normally there's a lot. There's a Diamondbacks game. There was this Japanese crazy dual events. Yeah. And I didn't see as many as normal. But you know, they coned up the roads by the arena. Like we're not letting them get too close and like you had to. It was tough. But they weren't making it all the way to the arena. They were just bashing into the. I've never seen anything like it.
Brett Vesely
So how was the show?
John Holmberg
So I didn't go to the show.
Brett Vesely
Like Japanese tool.
John Holmberg
No, we sent. No, it, it was because, I mean.
Brett Vesely
Maynard's always hiding in the back. You can't ever see him, but he.
John Holmberg
Shows up here and there. And here's the other thing. No one who works in the arena was allowed to move after the show was over. We didn't stay that long after the show was over. Drew, the bartender told me this. He goes, we've been given strict instructions that we cannot leave the Rah Rah room until she leaves the building like Elvis, just in case someone spots her.
Brett Vesely
And how do you know who it is?
John Holmberg
That's what I said. I'm like, well, what if she takes her mask off? No one's gonna know. I don't know. It was the weirdest night ever. It was. And then we poked our heads out for one song and Yoko Ono is, you know, she's, she's a Dell compared to this broad.
Brett Vesely
It sounds horrible.
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, it was awful.
Brady
And I look like a Godzilla movie.
John Holmberg
Well, let's calm down about that. We're allowed to talk about the car accidents because it's true. Let's not bring Godzilla into this. But you're right. You're 100. Right. But let's not. Morty ruffled enough feathers. Yeah, yeah. The car wrecks that are at that, they're. It's what I'm talking about. Undeniably true. I mean, if I was in court and they're like, oh, he's racist. And I'm just throwing my arms up and like ask the cops how many. How many wrecks they had to tend to on Saturday with Nissans with spoilers on them on the at 6 o'.
Brady
Clock.
Brett Vesely
Just call Shane Orlando, find out how many got towed in that night.
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, that's if Shane had a banner night. Shane's at home going, I don't know what's going on. We made a billion dollars on a Saturday. Yeah. I can stand in the courtroom with my arms in the air going, I'm right though. Check the blotter. They're starting to know. They're saying, but did you say something about go Godzilla? I'm like, ah, crap, they got us. Be careful. Yeah. Know your boundaries, sir. He's not wrong. It looked a lot like a Godzilla checkbook. Brady. But it ain't right to say that. Brady bad boy. Bad. But yeah. So if you want to go to that thing. So let me tell you.
Brett Vesely
What did the audience look like, Cory? Not what I expect. Okay.
John Holmberg
Every. Every one of them was Corey is. Cory's fun. Cory's a blast. And. And you know, you can play and goof around and it was fun to tell people he was. Why his nickname is Thriller because everybody's trying to be all proper and stuff. And like, why do you call him that? And I'm like, corey, walk over there. And then I'd be, you know, the second you start walking, it's close to midnight. There's something. Oh my God, stop it. I'm like, hey, watch to the beat. He doesn't even know it. And so everybody would spin around, but they love the nickname. So. And Corey's a good sport and everything else. He and his buddy are, I'll just say this, anime fans. And that comes with a certain territory when you're an. When you're an out loud super anime fan. You are also in a new league. Yeah. You're also the type of person that usually ends up on the news for incel stuff. I think that's mostly what I'll say. The involuntary celibate night out was 12,000 strong. It was strange. It was a brand new world. And how do things get that popular? I have no idea. No one knew who that was. Turns into just a massive event of just like minded. That's where cults scare me. No one. And I mean, you know, my dad knew what Motley Crue was. Didn't have an interest in it. Actually did. He liked a couple of it, but he's like, I'm not going with this poison. What the hell is this queer stuff? Like, he didn't. He looked at it, but he knew it existed. Now people are in a. In a lather over something that 96% of society knows nothing about. And that is scary because that's so like minded and so, you know, like, it's just such a small sliver of society and they all get in the same room and they all have their cult sticks and everybody's like, who is that? I was like, just leave them alone. You got make sure and good Lord, they served alcohol. 11,000 Asians who could barely get there sober are gonna try to hop behind the wheel of their. Their Nissans.
Brett Vesely
I said, I have an excuse.
John Holmberg
Then maybe it makes them better at it. I don't know. It was. It's crazy. I've never seen the last time I saw something like that. I was downtown a year and a half ago, and I remember sitting in the. At a light, and I'm almost all the way down to. There's a lot of traffic. I'm like, there's no game. What's going on? It was probably five. I was meeting Matt Komen actually at the Stand up and sitting at a light, and I see a car open, the doors open, and then girls dressed as fairies get up and I'm like, fairies are 12. That one's like 35.
Brett Vesely
Katie, can we move the studios?
John Holmberg
Yeah, not fairies like that.
Brett Vesely
Oh, sorry.
John Holmberg
No, real fairy. Oh, okay. Well, not to say they're not real. I didn't mean to offend you. Fairies, you guys are real. But you know what I mean. The ones with wings and. Yeah, and I'm like, those girls aren't 12. Like. And I thought maybe there was a convention because the civic fairy. Well, sure. Civic center's right there. Sometimes it's a bunch of people going to a convention. And I'm like, wait a second. There's two more moms dressed as fairies and that one's got a daughter dressed as a fairy. I'm like, there's fairies all over. It was like Tuesday. Now that does sound like something you'd hear at Katy K. I think that's something we should try. I was like, 93 3. There's fairies all over. So a girl named Melanie Martinez had sold out the arena downtown. And tickets for that show were like three grand because it was a triple seller. Exactly. And she dresses as a fairy and sings about sex to kids. And it is. They get them dressing up and doing all sorts of stuff. I've never seen anything. I don't remember anything being. I wish we had this. I wish we had this hiding space from my parents and all adults. It was always cool to see the really old people saying, what the hell is this? But when all the bartenders and staff at the robbery rooms, like we've never heard of it and they're all in their 20s and you're like, you guys don't know. I'm like, who is this for? And then we'd look at Corey and his buddy, like, right, it's an incel con.
Brett Vesely
So is it safe to say nobody got laid at that show?
John Holmberg
No one got laid at that show voluntarily. No one was. Maybe an abuser took advantage of. But no way anybody would. Nobody made a move. Nothing.
Brady
Wonder if karaoke went up that night downtown.
John Holmberg
That is a great question, I would imagine. God, we should have told that to Matt Coman. But if anybody even knew who this ado was, he could have had karaoke night over there. Copper blues and crushed and just said, you know, karaoke with the band tonight. Every admission is free with your adu ticket. Oh my God, there would have been a line. Oh, and plus it's better because they would have had to. They wouldn't have driven over there and caused more trouble just walking. Keep them out until two in the morning so they can only bash into walls and stuff. It's a true thing. It would have been like, say, peso Pluma was downtown. And I'm like, I couldn't get downtown because of all the leaf blowers in the freeway. It would have been that kind of stereotype. Like, that's wrong, John. And like, if I'd have said it before, you'd have been like, oh, that's terrible. Then I lived it. And it isn't terrible. It's real. They just can't drive. And the better one was the fourth wreck I saw was all Asians and they were laughing. They were having the time of their lives on the side of the road right at the Gore Point Point like that. Of course we. They're so used to it, they're like, I got to a wreckage there. I mean, big deal.
Brady
I knew they had enough time still to not miss the cost.
John Holmberg
Oh, they. And that's what I admired most. That is a very diligent group of people who are, you know, smart with time. They're. They expedite their days beautifully. They're organized, they're disciplined, and they are scheduled. I say schedule oriented, but I think that might affect. So they. They actually penciled in a few extra minutes for the wreck to get there. Still at seven. I mean, keep in mind, who wants.
Brady
To wreck this week?
John Holmberg
By the way, keep in mind, Brady, the show didn't start till 8.
Brett Vesely
Was it on time?
John Holmberg
Huh? I figured the thing was dead nuts on time. Holmberg's morning sickness. The second, you know, 7:59 turned to 8, you just heard. I'm like, what is going on? Oh, she's starting. I'm like, she opened with that song. Yeah, the big one, the hit. But I was blown away at the traffic at 5, 5:30. And then I realized they actually account for the accident. They're gonna get in if they go more than 10 miles to get to the arena. That stereotype is real and there's not. I have seen it. The math work. Sorry. You guys should know better than anybody, the math works out here. Brady didn't go to Chance the rapper and say, took us a little longer to get there because of all the shootings. No, it's not, because that's an unfair. It's an unfair statement, but not with Asian drivers. I'm telling you, I'm done. I'm done beating around the bush about this one. Y' all can't drive and get mad at me all you want. I'll just go right? What? Well, let's go to Saturday between 5 and 9 o' clock and ask the police. Hey, man, how was your night? Dude, no, just everybody bashing into everything.
Brett Vesely
There you go. Did you hear this one?
John Holmberg
This is why it hurts and just incels everywhere with their little flashlights. And I told. I asked choreo. I'm like, do you sing along? And he goes, yeah. Like, do you know what you're doing with it? You know? No. How'd you learn the words? You just listen to it enough. I'm like, you listen to Japanese music enough, you'll pick it up. There's no way she ever stop and.
Brady
Let the crowd sing.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, the crowd's louder than her. Come on. They know everything about this broad. They're going to revolt against us. In fact, I Told Corey. I said, I hope you had a good time. I can read you the text. It scared me a lot, little, because he was so quick back with it. But I told him basically like, hey, I hope you had a nice time. I hope your day went well. I hope your friend shaves his head, because it's the worst. It's the worst thing I've ever seen on a human body.
Brady
Did you at least give him some. Get him some wagyu tartar.
John Holmberg
So he had the opportunity to get whatever he wanted, right?
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
So I said, order some drinks, boys. I stand at the end of the bar. I have my own little space, the end of bar, like, dorm. And they're standing next to me and, like, get whatever you want. So I'm like, I'll have a vodka soda. The boys can have whatever they want. They ordered Cokes. So then I'm like, no grenadine? No, that's what I'm gonna get. A Darth Vader. Do something. And then so Chris, the other one that was with him, goes, no, that's a rum and Coke. I got a rum and Coke. I'm like, yeah, think you're lying to me, but okay. And then I'm like, you guys want something to eat? And coaches, no. No. I'm like, come on. So next time, you're never gonna be down here again. Like, no offense, but you're not coming back with me.
Brady
Take advantage.
John Holmberg
Take advantage of this. Get yourself a steak. Do something.
Brett Vesely
One and done.
John Holmberg
Yeah, this is it, Banya.
Brady
Come on, get yourself a steak.
John Holmberg
This is. This is the meal. Okay, I'll get. Get a wagyu. Go nuts.
Brady
Bottle of champagne.
John Holmberg
Go nuts. You know what they ordered? They looked. And I'm like, hey, that tartar is great. Oh, I don't do raw food. I'm like, all right, well, you're at a Japanese concert. That's all they do. Get used to it. Your cult leader. Out loud. Yeah. Your cult leader is gonna. Yeah. Don't say raw food is bad. They'll beat you with those flashlights. So then, you know, they ordered the one thing on the menu that I always kind of wondered why it's on the menu. It's tasty. Are these little pigs in a blanket? They're cocktail weenies wrapped in this beautiful, like, pastry, croissant, but they're the size of your thumb. So Corey goes up, just have the pigs in the blanket. And I'm like, even Drew the bartender's like, that's it. The dude. What? And he goes, yeah, we'll Grab something out there. Why push?
Brett Vesely
Okay, grab a hot dog.
John Holmberg
So he gets it. He gets the pigs in a blanket.
Brady
There's no hot dogs available.
John Holmberg
Yeah, the two are hammering away. The hammering away. Oh, no. They were fish and buns. It's disgusting. Little heads everywhere. So then I looked at Cory. I'm like, you're allowed to get whatever you want. He goes, okay, okay. Another round of those. Oh, wow. He just ended up getting cocktail weenies. That was it. A couple. And. And fries. He got some fries.
Brett Vesely
Cheaper than taking Dale with you.
John Holmberg
Well, yeah. So Anthony and Aaron just sitting there laughing the whole time. Time of our lives, making fun of this thing. But Cory's such a decent, fine, nice person that you're like. You can't be mad. But I text him. I said, so we poked our heads in to see. This is exactly right. We poked our heads in for a second, Corey, to see what the hell was going on. And I will tell you this. Hitler didn't have that kind of support. Everyone looked like they were having a blast. Thanks for exposing me to this. And it's what I'm now calling the uprising of your people. You're inevitably going to wage war on all of us sex havers with your decorative novelty flashlights. And now I fear, you as a group. Corey, within a second. Answers now you recognize our power is growing. Going. I'll put in a good word for you so you are spared. Okay. He turned it into one of those quest things. They're gonna have, like, big, you know, like, statues of me at the next larping event. And then, you know, they'll probably try to topple it. Weirdest thing I've ever seen. But that's enough Asian people. Enough of fighting back. You just simply can't drive. That's it.
Brett Vesely
Ramming speed.
Brady
But plan ahead next time.
John Holmberg
80% of black guys have big dicks and Asian people can't drive. Those are the two that are like. It just. It's indisputable. Indisputable. I watch F1. That's an international thing. Nobody Asian in there. NASCAR? Come on. None. They don't have one. They. They can't. They can't get. Unbelievable. Women drove before Asian in nascar. Am I right?
Brett Vesely
Man, it's tossing. I mean, you're right.
John Holmberg
A couple ladies. It's as big a deal to get an Asian driver. And there might be one, but you've never heard of him because he's always crashed out in the first three or four laps.
Brett Vesely
Who'd you rather ride with? One of Them or one of the listeners to the I Do show or Danica Patrick around the track.
John Holmberg
Well, first off, the answer to that is very easy. If I rode with one of the listeners of the ADU show, their very responsible parents would have been driving, driving. 30 year old kid sitting in the back. And that's what they said. I'm like, you know, Corey made no bones about it that most people there were dropped off by their parents. And I'm like, Everybody here is 25. And he goes. And his face was like, yeah.
Brady
And your point?
John Holmberg
I'm like, okay, I get it. You're right.
Brett Vesely
It's like they had the pickup line out front and everything else.
John Holmberg
Like the schools. Yeah.
Brady
Drive line.
John Holmberg
And then every once in a while, a Nissan would just blaze into it for a second.
Brady
Second, Driveline buckled.
John Holmberg
Crazy. But I, you know, I exposed myself to something new and. And I learned why I don't ever do that. It was awful. It was just an awful show. But Cory's fun and his friend respond.
Brady
So Anthony dude comes back next year.
John Holmberg
I might want to visualize. You'll still go, oh, I'll go to the Rahu Room and. Yeah, just learn more. I don't know what that was. Was.
Brett Vesely
Listeners want to know, was he ordering Saki bombers and Kieran?
John Holmberg
Nope. They didn't even have like a special. Like, nobody at the Rah Rah Room cared. They were like, we didn't even know what this was tonight. We just knew there was an event. And I'm like, yeah, they didn't have.
Brady
Specials like a pint of ink in a collector's cup.
John Holmberg
You get some squid ink. Yeah, see, you guys are both being racist. You're just making racist comments. No, no, I was being, I was being factual. Now you're just throwing out about merch. They should have sold ink. Listen to your. You, you terrible person. I hope you get run over by a Nissan today. It's a good chance they're going to aim at it. You know, the good thing is if they tried to run you down, they'd miss. They'd hit something else on the way in. It made me think that maybe Pearl harbor was just an accident. They didn't mean to do that.
Brett Vesely
No intended miss their target or what.
John Holmberg
They were trying to land.
Brady
We're friended.
John Holmberg
Is it too soon to make fun of Pearl Harbor? I think we thought it was an attack. And Torah Tora. Torah means oh, crap. I don't think there's anything. I think they said kamikaze pilots because that's the only Thing that actually makes sense to us. But truth of the matter was Pearl harbor wasn't an accident. There was just an accident. This guy says. At first I thought you meant some weird hot Suni Miku or K pop crap. But Adu is super famous Japanese artist. She started working to make soundtracks to anime movies. I only know because one of the animes I watched, she did the soundtrack. It's catchy, but it is not for everybody.
Brett Vesely
No kidding.
John Holmberg
I also got to say, if I had brought a bitch out there, I'm getting some. Nobody brought a bitch to this. Unless you consider your mother a B word. Okay, Christopher Dewitt. The only. This is not good. The only one of those I'm going to an arena to see is the red effing panda. And she hurt herself last night. The red panda is.
Brady
She did.
John Holmberg
Yeah, she fell off. Didn't see that. No, she had a horrible accident. Broke her arm. She fell off her high chair juggling plates and doing what she does. By the way, John, you're fine with what you're talking about. The Nissan GTR is often referred to as Godzilla. I didn't know if that's true or not. Not. I'm not going down that road. I'm not like Brady. I only deal in facts. I don't. I don't start spewing out. They should. Should have served some ink. Squeeze out some octo ink. No, Brady. But it's true. They all do like it. And yes, it did look like a Godzilla movie. But come on. Doesn't mean you can talk about it freely the way you did. We just know. Anyway, if you're with someone who is a. You know, get them a Waymo app and take their car away. I saw it this weekend. It ain't pretty. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? God, I have. I'm dying so much to give this entire audience Toledo's number to send gay pictures to him for his birthday. That was so much fun. I want everybody else to enjoy that. You have to do some searching on your phone, which is no big deal. It's like hardcore.
Brett Vesely
I can't imagine what your algorithm looks like.
John Holmberg
It's hilarious.
Brady
Oh, man.
John Holmberg
And then I forgot and I opened up my Internet app. I had my phone. I just kind of vegged out. Took my phone away from me for a while yesterday. It's kind of decompressed with it. Beautiful weather. Put it to the side. And then when I went back to open up the Internet late at night, it just.
Brady
Dicks.
John Holmberg
Loads of dicks. Like oh, yeah. And then I sent one again. Oh, here you go. Toledo. Happy bright still. It's not midnight yet. Give us a wake up song. Five eight five nine, eight hundred. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KVD. Wake up Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: July 21, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Air Date: July 21, 2025
Platform: 98KUPD (97.9 FM, 98KUPD app, www.98kupd.com)
Time Slot: Weekdays 5:30 AM - 10:00 AM
The episode opens with a humorous and somewhat controversial segment revolving around celebrating Dick Toledo's birthday. John Holmberg shares how a seemingly innocuous birthday text thread spiraled into an elaborate prank targeting Toledo.
Prank Execution:
Reactions:
A significant portion of the episode delves into a critical examination of the recent WNBA All-Star Game, focusing on financial struggles, marketing issues, and overall league performance.
Financial Struggles:
Marketing and Promotion Issues:
Host Opinions:
John Holmberg recounts his unusual experience attending a concert by the Japanese artist Ado, accompanied by his colleagues. The segment is filled with anecdotes about the event's logistics, security measures, and overall atmosphere.
Concert Logistics:
Traffic and Safety Concerns:
Interactions with Attendees:
Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in conversations that include controversial stereotypes and offensive remarks, particularly targeting Asian drivers and making generalizations about different demographics.
Stereotypes Discussed:
Hosts' Dynamics:
The episode concludes with reflections on the events discussed and a return to lighter banter among the hosts.
Closing Remarks:
Humorous Conclusion:
John Holmberg (02:47): "If you have a friend getting on a plane or in a meeting or with on a date or anything else, there's nothing better than blowing their phone up with graphic gay pictures."
Brady Bogen (05:42): "Apparently, Toledo just texts at the beach with a Japanese family behind us. Mission accomplished for us."
John Holmberg (09:02): "Women don't watch. Why don't women watch? Why don't women watch the WNBA if it's so good because you got 5%."
John Holmberg (27:52): "80% of black guys have big dicks and Asian people can't drive."
Team Camaraderie: The episode highlights the close-knit relationship among the hosts, marked by playful pranks and candid conversations.
Critical Perspectives: John Holmberg provides strong opinions on the WNBA's challenges, critiquing their financial management and marketing strategies.
Cultural Events Commentary: The hosts share unconventional experiences, such as attending a Japanese singer's concert, offering listeners a glimpse into unique cultural events.
Controversial Content: The episode includes discussions that touch on sensitive topics and stereotypes, which may be offensive to some listeners. It's essential to approach such content with awareness and understanding of its impact.
Note: This summary aims to encapsulate the episode's content objectively. The views and statements expressed by the hosts do not reflect endorsements or agreements from the summarizer.