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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
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Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg from the Morning Sickness talking to Shane Orlando from Orlando Auto Body. Now, Shane, I take great pride in saying I stand with someone when I tell a listener to go to their shop. I know why. You tell me what's different for a KUPD listener to go to Orlando Auto Body than anywhere else? Well, first of all, we've been in the valley here for over 34 years. We do a quality job. We work for you, not the insurance companies. So we can work together to make sure your listeners are getting the customer service they deserve. If your car's been wrecked and you need that thing fixed the right way, get on over there now. Orlandoautobody.com you thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Burning this chair. There you go. Thank you very much, Soundgarden. Well, that's another one we lost. They're everywhere.
Brady
I share a birthday with him.
John Holmberg
Chris Cornell. That was. Yeah, just last week. I got people.
Stephanie
By the way, it's Stephanie Seymour's birthday.
John Holmberg
Oh, what is she, 53?
Stephanie
57.
John Holmberg
She's 57, says John, you know, love the honoring Ozzy. Hopefully it says, please, please, please tell Larry not to pander to the same Remembering Ozzy cut for more than a day. I totally agree. You can't pander because it started a certain point. You're like, all right, guys, enough.
Brady
Well, he's got seven of them and I think they were all played out.
John Holmberg
Yesterday, five years ago and that. Well, that's fine, but you give it 24 hours and then maybe an Aussie weekend. I think that would be kind of neat. That's a pretty good idea. And then Alex says, who do you think the next metal legend who dies will get this kind of treatment? The only one I could think of was James Hetfield. Maybe because he. I don't think so either. Close. Because he didn't have the personality.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Ozzy was tv, he was entertainment, he was impressionists, he was comedy, he was music, he was all of that. James is just Metallica. So, I mean, it would be like, holy crap, the guy from Metallica died. And it would be a day on the air.
Brady
Simmons isn't really.
John Holmberg
Maybe start getting into the Kiss thing, but I don't think it falls. It's not going to do this. They weren't as. They weren't as.
Brady
We're not doing a Kiss weekend.
John Holmberg
No, Nobody. If he goes, why not?
Brady
I mean, sorry, sir.
John Holmberg
I mean, the world will be doing a Kiss weekend. In fact, much like Brady, I've already called ahead to heaven letting. No, I'm going to be there. They have a spread ready for me. And you got Brady telling us.
Dick Toledo
I didn't have it.
John Holmberg
I didn't.
Dick Toledo
It was just an impromptu.
John Holmberg
There's like 30 pictures of him with the owners on there and the food in front of him and him posing.
Stephanie
Yeah, I forgot I posted something on boss.
Brady
And why did you post it for.
John Holmberg
For mentions? Because you were getting a spread like that. Yeah. Why did they do that? And then we. And then there was this sound. Yeah, the guilty Brady. The old guilty Brady. Say, Brady, did you go for free food? Yeah, that's right. That's what I'm thinking. You didn't pre plan this? This was all just kind of like, oh, they knew I was there. No, no, don't argue with me. Somebody said, he goes, this is the picture Brady. Brady doesn't look at pictures of. Of. You don't look at pictures the way normal people do. Because if it's a picture of you at a restaurant you do the close up to see if the food looks good. Cuz there's a picture of you and your mouth is half open. You've got a napkin, your hand, you look mentally retarded. Yeah, the food looks great. You didn't care about how you looked at all. Because Kyle text me and he goes, this is from Instagram. Brady looks terrible, but the food looks amazing. Like, hey, he's not one of those guys that he's not thinking about how he looks. He doesn't care about that. Is that right, Brady? Brady, are you lying to me? Are you lying? It's fun. I was wrong earlier too. And I was pointed out on emails. It said, john, you're wrong. Brady's not just lying to himself. Jesus hears him. That's very true. Your Lord Jesus knows.
Brady
Another texter says, hey, John, I heard. Didn't you say you guys are going to the game today? Was that preceded by a call? Hey there, D backs.
John Holmberg
It's true.
Brady
Hey, better I'll be over over tonight.
John Holmberg
Did you call his Drew? Hey, better to get us. God damn it. Did you know you're making it awkward for everybody. Stop it.
Stephanie
If I mentioned that they wouldn't let.
John Holmberg
Me in if you were Drew. Hey, better they'd be like, they don't even know what that is. Yeah, I remember when Ozzy called Brady and said, well, you should probably go do rock radio and stop being Drew. Hey, battery. And he was the one who encouraged you much. He used to call Phoenix local celebrities all the time and say, make that move. Hey, Dave Pratt, I've called you at home. It's Aussie. I know who it is, buddy. All right, you should probably move on from your alternative afternoon show over to country music, not letting anybody bother you with it. All right, Ozzy? All right, buddy.
Stephanie
I'm the biggest douchebag on the planet. All right?
Dick Toledo
Cancer caught me, cured itself of Pratt.
John Holmberg
Ugh. Blech. Grimy. Just thinking about the guy.
Brady
John, don't you think that in Brady's world he wishes that there were a Brady alert broadcast where he would just post something and glitter would fall from the sky and everybody would go. Would know where to go.
John Holmberg
Brady, is that something you want? He's got evidence of the whole morning cupping going on. He's trying to tell us it was just some accident.
Brady
So you're telling me Kirby's at work and all of a sudden she's getting. Ah, crap, here comes my dad again.
John Holmberg
Hey, Curbing herbs pop ups back in, by the way. Nothing worse. When I worked at a restaurant when mom and dad came in. Horrible. Nothing worse. So don't do it.
Stephanie
She had endure it at least once.
John Holmberg
Yeah, just once. Yeah, but you could go when she's not working, too. But there's nothing worse than proud papa, big smile, staring at you, CLE and tables and. Oh, it's awful. Let her live.
Stephanie
Get. Hey, this isn't clean.
John Holmberg
Yeah. No. My dad and mom came to Tony Romas once. I went over to my dad, goes, jesus, how dirty is that rag? I turned to the table, I'm like, you guys need to go. What? Get out. I don't need you coming here eyeballing everything I do. I don't like this. And they did. To their credit. They ordered and took it home. Because I knew, like, do you want me staring at you? I hate this. We just thought we'd come by and support. I'm like, we don't. Your support isn't gonna make or break this place. Go home. And they did. I hated that. Oh. I hated when my parents would show up to stuff. Like, they were helping. You're not doing it. I'm working. Get out of here. It would be the same as if your dad and you're mowing the grass and he's just standing in the backyard watching. Like, pick something up and get to work or get out the way you would treat me. It's time for Brady to tell you all the news that he knows. Well, up to a certain point. I called the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by All Pro Shade Concepts. 20 years of shade. 2 decades of quality custom installed patio shades, awnings, and sunscreens. That means they are good at what they do. 20 years of doing something. You're not screwing around. You're getting it done right. And they do it right. Free installation, all the products, free estimates. And you can choose a manual or motorized version of each thing. Brady got the motorized one, which is really cool. The colors, the fabrics, everything match your outdoor space. They've got people that'll help you plan it. And it's all just kind of. That's. That's complimentary. Come out. Let's take a look. Let's see what you got. You got a place. You want shade in your backyard, there's only one place to go. Allprochade.com Brady report it good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. Hi.
Stephanie
Happy National Gorgeous Grandma Day.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Stephanie
And National Vanilla Ice Cream Day.
Brady
There it is.
John Holmberg
Look. Gorgeous, Grandma. What is like five of those? The whole planet. Five. Five. I'll give you that. There's always something.
Brady
Yeah, because they're in their 40s.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Mexican grandmas can sometimes be really hot because they're 28.
Stephanie
A couple of basic fun facts. The opening scene in Saving Private Ryan, where the American troops storm the beach at Normandy, cost $12 million, which was one fifth of the movie's entire budget.
John Holmberg
It was worth it. Legendary cinema.
Stephanie
I think we've done this one before, but a word. The word for a group of pugs.
John Holmberg
Puggle.
Stephanie
Grumble.
John Holmberg
A grumble. All right.
Stephanie
The oldest evidence of humans in North America is from 130,000 years ago in the San Diego area. This archaeologist, Steve Holman, is one who discovered some mastodon bones and human bones there and end up dating along. It used to be the thought was 13 to 20,000 years.
John Holmberg
130,000. They'll find more because I would imagine that we were traipsing around here before that, too, because they did. This continent just didn't show up. It's not like a Hawaiian island.
Stephanie
Sure it did.
Brady
Ask the Mormons.
John Holmberg
It's millions years. Well, that's true. Yeah.
Stephanie
Well, whether at one time people, I guess, were underwater. And then.
John Holmberg
Oh, no, it's Pangea. Yeah. I mean, where you can see the clear markings of Pangea. If you believe it because it's real. And then you look. It was land for a long time. Whether people were on, it's a different story. But yeah, it was. Of course it was underwater.
Stephanie
In a new millions of years ago, 53% of Americans admit they've peed in a pool as an adult. Only 53, 48 don't wash their swimsuits with soap after they swim.
John Holmberg
What do they wash them with? I guess they just put it back on later. Yep.
Brady
Use that spinny thing that the hotel has.
John Holmberg
Huh?
Brady
They have that little. Oh, yeah, washer thing.
John Holmberg
That's for cleaning your shoes, man.
Brady
No, no, no, no. You put it and it dries it because it spins it, like at a high speed.
Stephanie
Where they had them at the. They had them at the. The Village Athletic. It was a. In the locker room. You open the lid up, it's like a dryer.
Brady
Small washer.
John Holmberg
And it's in a hotel? Yeah. In your room?
Brady
No, it's in the pool area.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's community.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh, you're putting your drawers in a community drawer. Washer. And there's. And it's heat.
Stephanie
It takes a bacteria farm. It takes all the water.
Brady
It's like a salad spinner. Like you're ringing the water out of it.
John Holmberg
So there's Absolutely.
Stephanie
Oops.
John Holmberg
So it's just sperms and feces of other people spinning around with your pants.
Stephanie
Blasted into your shorts at high speeds?
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah. Supersonic. Like sperm collider at the Red Roof Inn. That Toledo dropped his pants in here. Let me put my dry, used pants in here with your pants, and let's spin them together with no heat regulation or soap or bleach or anything, really.
Brady
Just meant to damp dry it.
John Holmberg
Just get back in the pool, go in your room, and hang them out the window like all other poor people at Red Roof indoors.
Stephanie
That speeds it up by about.
John Holmberg
Does it? You need your swim trunks back that fast?
Stephanie
No, because I think the reason why they did that is people put. They take it home with them. What, their swim trunks.
John Holmberg
Right.
Stephanie
That's what you're supposed to do. Yeah. Well, now it's not as wet if they don't have a. A bag to put. Separate bag.
John Holmberg
So you went swimming and then packed immediately and left. Put them on the outside.
Stephanie
You mean at the club that you're swimming at, or if you're swimming at.
John Holmberg
The club, you pack it and you go home. How far is it?
Stephanie
If you're swimming at the club, it's nothing but Speedos.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
And also if you're swimming at the club, you got a free day on your hands. I'm gonna go swimming for a little while, then I go back to work with your lunch latch with my wet pants. That's the risk you take when you take a break and get in water in the middle of the day. You don't dump it in there with Brett's grundies. It's disgusting.
Stephanie
The best is when you're waiting. You know, the person ahead of you has it and they pull it out. And then the guy goes in with.
John Holmberg
His underwear, of course, because rust butts got to get all the. All the squishings off. That is disgusting. I've never seen that in my life. I don't spend a lot of time in locker rooms like YouTube, but I'm. I do not like that at all. Or public. I've washrooms by the pool at the Red Roof Inn. I make a commitment to my shorts. A, that they stay on, and B, if I'm getting in the water, I anticipate moisture. So they go back to the room. Flop those around a little bit, and put it down. If I'm swimming at the gym, I might be a pedophile. What are you doing? Get a job. Gotta dry these up. Oh, can't have wet pants.
Stephanie
Rinse off in the open shower room.
Brett Vesely
All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Eastsiders the Tempe Improv has two two very funny guys in Mike Vecchione and comedian CP Downtown at Stand Up Live, you've got the always entertaining John Dela Cruz, AKA Nurse John. And up north at Desert Ridge features comedy vet and friend of the show, Steve Byrne. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com It's.
Brady
Dick Toledo from Holmberg's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focus. And now with the help of Game Day's board certified staff, I'm looking at peptide and vitamin therapies as well. In a matter of minutes at Game Day's In House lab, a licensed Game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging and it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's Health locations in the valley. Take that first step now at gameday.
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John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness they're $2,000 to just.
Brady
Put your yeah, they just look like this. You just drop one suit in it, you press down on a lid and it spins.
John Holmberg
Suit me weird. And then they don't come through and like pour some sort of bleach or diatomaceous earth or something in there to kill out all your sperms. Nope, they're gonna get on the next guy's pants. I think it's gross to even use like laundromat dryers because nobody ever throws a thing in there that disinfects whatever the hell was going on there with the last guy. Blood and like a tampon in a pocket or something. I know.
Brady
There you go. Here's it in action.
John Holmberg
That's the weirdest thing. Swimsuit.
Stephanie
Water extractor.
John Holmberg
Look how dirty it is.
Stephanie
A really cool unique.
John Holmberg
No, you're a gross person. Look how dirty that thing is. I wouldn't touch the lid of that.
Stephanie
It's a hard water market.
John Holmberg
Oh, Brady, why aren't you wearing any pants right now? Get wear your goddamn pants. Oh, then you got to hand eff it in that tiny little garbage disposal sized hole. This is disgusting. When did this get invented?
Brady
Oh, it's been around for a long.
John Holmberg
Oh, again. I'm just glad I don't have that at the aria.
Stephanie
Look at the. Look at the drippings on the side.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's all covered in gooey drippings. Oh, what is that? You know what? I'd have walked right by that and gone. No, it's just a big tampon dispense. I would have never thought that was for yuck suit mate and kids. That's the reason. That's the reason I hate it is because I know kids are putting their stuff in there and all they do is crap and pee in the pool the whole time. So they're just smooshing into that mesh fake underpants of gross.
Stephanie
An electrical engineer.
John Holmberg
If you got time to swim in the middle of the day, you got time to go home and change.
Stephanie
Well, they do. They change in the lock.
John Holmberg
I know. If you've got time, then you don't need to. I know enough of you. There's no reason for you to swim and carry around. If you. Okay, if you're at the gym all day, then. And you got time to swim, you probably have a locker there. So just hang it up and let them dry in your locker. You don't wad them up and put them in a bag anyway. Oh, that is. That's worse than a food truck.
Stephanie
Oh, an electrical engineer.
John Holmberg
Poor people. What in the. Oh, this is why I'd rather walk to Las Vegas than get on poor people there.
Stephanie
Got this electrical engineer in Vermont. He's been fixing up old pay phones and installing them in spots where there's no cell service. He buys them for a few hundred bucks, adds a gadget that connects them to the Internet and installs them outside of businesses. And since they're online, you don't need a quarter. The calls are free. Kids can call their parents for rides. Each phone costs around 10 bucks a month for administration fees. And he's paying for it all.
John Holmberg
That's pretty good.
Stephanie
Yeah, if you dial 0, it connects to his phone. He's the operator.
John Holmberg
That's too much connecting with that guy. I get it that he's trying to be philanthropic and kind in there, but the second it's, dial me first.
Stephanie
What are you looking for, kid?
John Holmberg
You need a ride? I mean, I paid for your stuff, so. Where are your pants? Put them in my salad spinners. Your mom will be fine. She's good. Father Dale would have used something like that. Don't tell your mom and dad you're in a hot tub. I'm gonna dry your pants. Take them off.
Stephanie
A travel site called Upgraded points pulled over 2,000 people in Europe to find out how they really feel about tourists in the U.S.
John Holmberg
From the U.S. tourists from the U.S. oh, not in the U.S. okay.
Stephanie
And it turns out, yes, we're annoying.
John Holmberg
Oh, they hate us.
Stephanie
But not all tourists. They said around a thousand Americans were polled and 40% of us, the American side of it, that believe that we're more annoying than people in other countries. But 36% of the people in Europe say they're more annoying.
John Holmberg
So really we feel we're more annoying to me pronouns.
Stephanie
We feel we're more annoying to the European countries that we're visiting. Yeah, but the people that were visiting in Europe.
John Holmberg
Right.
Stephanie
Don't feel worse. Knowing is as annoying as we do.
John Holmberg
Can you break out the Madden chalkboard?
That's a bad sentence. We say we think we are bothering them more than they think we are bothered. Like, we assume they're very bothered by us. And they're like, you're bothersome but not as bad as you think.
Stephanie
Right?
John Holmberg
Right. They're wrong. We're.
Stephanie
But across the board. Yeah, we're louder.
John Holmberg
And here's the other.
Stephanie
Loud.
John Holmberg
Here's the other thing. Who asked the Europeans that question?
Stephanie
Upgraded points. The travel.
John Holmberg
Was it a. Was it a person or was it.
Stephanie
A online phone survey? Online. Don't know.
John Holmberg
Because if the person on the phone or in front of you is an American, he's asking, do you think Americans are nervous or annoying? It changes the entire deal.
Stephanie
It was a guy who's like, what do you frogs think about us?
John Holmberg
Right? Yeah. That's the thing. If you have an American accent, you're like, do you find American tourists sucky? Most non confrontational. Yeah. Most non confrontational Europeans. But of course I do not. You're wonderful. Grateful the economy.
Stephanie
In Bellevue.
John Holmberg
Do you think we are annoying? Why do you ask?
Stephanie
I'd like to.
John Holmberg
What do you hesitate for?
Stephanie
In Bellevue, Illinois, a McDonald's manager is under arrest, facing a felony charge after he sent an employee home because the employee refused to take the trash out.
John Holmberg
That's his job.
Stephanie
Teenage employee said, no, I'm not taking that out.
John Holmberg
And it's like, all right, well you're done.
Stephanie
Get out.
John Holmberg
Right. That's insubordination. You don't talk back to the boss.
Stephanie
The teenager goes home, tells mom what happened. Mom comes back and confronts the manager.
Dick Toledo
Not my little Braden.
John Holmberg
Why is he not allowed to take the trash out? Does he have an allergy or a drug that he needs to take before he takes trash or did she.
Brady
An allergy to trash?
John Holmberg
Talon doesn't need that.
Every one of your prick kids has something wrong with him that he can't do something pe. I can't do that because I've got an ingrown toenail problem and every time.
Dick Toledo
I put weight on my left foot.
John Holmberg
I get, all right, you're not going to do anything. Why can't he take trash out?
Stephanie
Well, nobody tells Kathy Bledsoe, the manager. The mom comes back to cover for Kaden. You're taking a shot in the leg.
John Holmberg
Oh, no kidding. She plugged her. Yeah, good, that'll. That'll learn you to defend that little rat.
Stephanie
Both you get out now.
John Holmberg
And I like that she took the Biden approach. You shot him in the leg. Bad can happen after that, she learned. Yeah, you just have to be a little interested. Let me just get in a thing here. You have to be introspective about why you were fired. Otherwise you'll go on for years and years wondering and blaming and blaming everybody else for why you were too drunk to take the trash out at work.
Stephanie
This is something for you. A group of tech nerds in Amsterdam came up with a new gadget called the dream recorder that turns your dreams into videos. It doesn't actually scan your brain waves. You have to remember your dream, describe what it was, and it turns your description into a video, why it's going to be graphic.
John Holmberg
That's what I've.
Stephanie
I've had this slightly bigger than an alarm clock clock.
John Holmberg
I, I've had the fantasy that AI is just our dreams trying to find a way to talk to us. Or there is a spirit world and they're breaking through through computer AI stuff because it's just so Weirdly real. But a lot of that thing that Larry sent me, that lady sitting on that guy's head. And then his head spun. Did I show you that? I'll show you the thing Larry sent me. It is. It goes haywire like a dream would, and it doesn't. It's. It's so creepy.
Stephanie
I've seen a bunch of them on. But it's grim where the.
John Holmberg
Like, it's so real. But watch it. Like, this is exactly what a dream would be like. It's a lady sitting on a guy's head. And then the dude gasps for air.
Stephanie
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And his whole head inverts and turns into that.
Brady
Whoa.
John Holmberg
Which is like what your dreams would do. And then the dude's mouth got really big and he started to eat the room, and it was like that kind of thing. So I think AI taking over could very much make your dreams look like. But if you're just describing them, it's.
Stephanie
Built on top of an AI video app called Luma. The total cost, around $330.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Because it's. It's garbage technology now. It's just basically the same thing as having AI. You type in your dreams details, and it builds something back. Soon, hopefully. We talked about it yesterday, with technology and stuff, we'll have something that does record our dreams. Yeah, that would be pretty cool to go back. Apple, what did I dream about last night? And you will. There will be no safe marriages.
Brady
No, no.
John Holmberg
You think going through somebody's phone.
Brady
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Let me see your things. Well, they won't be asking. They're gonna find your dream chip, and the next thing you know, when you're kind of asleep on the couch not paying attention, they're going to go through your dream chip. Going through the phone is child's play compared to going through Brett's dreams. Because Brett's dreams are just riddled with hellcats and animals you've never met before. A lot of that going on. Airplanes, biplanes. Dropping bombs on poor nations.
Dick Toledo
Brett, what's going on in your mind?
John Holmberg
What are you talking about?
Stephanie
Strangest dream.
Dick Toledo
I went through your dream chip.
John Holmberg
Oh, I thought we had an agreement.
Dick Toledo
I couldn't help it. I had to know what your dreams were about.
Stephanie
Grab your dishes and get out.
Dick Toledo
Why did you kill that big blonde lady over and over?
John Holmberg
Oh.
Stephanie
Got a couple of pretty videos.
John Holmberg
And you know what would really suck? If you went through your wife's dream chip. And it turns out she does dream about you like crap. She's going to be furious because I'm doing It.
Stephanie
I wonder if neural link will have that possibility.
John Holmberg
Too bad you soon extend your dreams. Like, you ever wake up, like you're having a great dream and all of.
A sudden it's like, oh, yeah.
And you try to go back, and.
Then you can't try to get Margot.
Robbie was just about to, you know.
Brady
And then, like, you could put him on.
John Holmberg
Goddamn alarm goes, yeah, I've done that.
A million times where you go, oh, my God, I'm about to do it. And I get back to it. And then you can start to kind of dream it again. It takes on some weird, right, acid trip move. And then we like, let's.
Dick Toledo
Let's go through each other's dream chips.
John Holmberg
I don't think that's a good idea.
Dick Toledo
I had a great dream value last night I wanted to show you.
John Holmberg
And then it's just you as an Adonis giving her all she's got.
Dick Toledo
Let's see yours.
John Holmberg
And it's you and a liger and Natari from Avatar just pounding away on some planet. You guys have mated tales with signs that say I hate Megan all over the place. Like, why'd you dream that? I don't know. I'm not in control of it. Told you we shouldn't have gone through this. And then Ronnie would go, brady, what did you dream about?
Dick Toledo
What's wrong?
Stephanie
Interpret that.
John Holmberg
Yeah, morning sickness.
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John Holmberg
Holmberg's. Morning sickness. Brady's just got his dick and a triple cheeseburger goop.
Brady
Not the seven brothers.
John Holmberg
Why does that say special sauce?
Stephanie
Everyone, the first Brady video is. This is a. An early day of work. Got the shift over really quick.
John Holmberg
Okay, we're tearing down a building.
Stephanie
Yeah, let's take down the building.
John Holmberg
Oh, geez. They took down the. Oh, they accidentally. Yeah, that was a mistake.
Stephanie
Let's call it a day.
John Holmberg
They hit a load bearing wall on a seven story building with the backhoe.
It's Miller time.
And. Yeah, we tipped it over.
Stephanie
Why are they not.
John Holmberg
Yeah, why are they. Why are they taking that down? Like Jenga? They're doing it the low end. Maybe they were playing real Jenga. Like, I can get this last block, I swear.
Stephanie
Your turn.
John Holmberg
No, you can't. The rule is you can't go past the first floor until. Oh, man.
Brady
It didn't take much.
Stephanie
This next one is a door window compilation. Here. I. I would. Would want to work at this place for a week because I can imagine how many times this would happen.
John Holmberg
Oh, we got glass windows and doors next to each other. Yeah, that one is confusing.
Stephanie
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Wait a minute. No, it's not. It' a left turn door handle right there. Okay, I thought that was all straight. It is not.
Stephanie
This guy's coming in.
John Holmberg
Oh, he's coming in hot. Oh, face first. He's trapped in a glass cube of death. It's too funny. Watching people walk into windows is hilarious.
Brady
Can confirm.
John Holmberg
Oh, when Toledo did it. And that yard sale has keys fell out of his pocket. He hit so hard that stuff fell out of his pocket. Yeah. Oh, he had his thermos. Thermos and a cup of cupo pancakes. And he's doing that thing where you're like hugging all your items. He had his forearms were pinning the cup of pancakes against his chest.
Brady
Flash into the scene right at the perfect moment.
John Holmberg
Just.
Brady
Just went.
John Holmberg
Because I heard the Tom Hanks in Money Pit. It was great. And there was stuff everywhere. It was when. When Lucy hit the ball back to Charlie Brown and all clothes. His clothes came off. Arg. All right, Brett, what do you got?
Well, didn't we have the. The chalk line on the stairs too?
Yeah, when Jolene fell upstairs, we did a chalk outline of a woman who fell upstairs. It's hard to do.
I will start off with a little dirt bike action here.
Oh, boy. All right, an official dirt track. You hit the jump. Oh, he fell off. He's off into the crowd.
Dick Toledo
Into the crowd.
John Holmberg
The bike goes rolling into the crowd. Here comes the jumpers for the rest of it. They're gonna land on him, aren't they? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. What is that? Here comes. This is a different dude. This is the slow mo. Slow mo. He just falls off his bike and then the bike tickles and lands on the crowd. Wow. All right, well, enjoy the rest of the events today. We'll clear that area out.
There you go.
Okay, here we go. So a pretty woman squeezing her buttocks in the shower. In the shower. She's got B cups. She's the puffy nipple type. But she's got a very nice bottom.
Brady
She's got a wing.
John Holmberg
I have a feeling I'm gonna be like, I saw it. I saw it. She's got a dick.
Stephanie
I saw.
John Holmberg
It's a little tiny, too. Pixelate. That is a terrible. Come on, man. How did she have those? Nice. She had a great butt. She had a girl butt. Yeah. Here's somebody with a. What is that, a squash? That's.
Brady
Whoa.
John Holmberg
That's a lady gourd. Squash is pleasing herself.
Brady
You don't know what that is.
Stephanie
That is a gourd.
John Holmberg
Oh. Now she's pulled the gourd out and she's opened herself up with her fingers and shown us the inside of the sarlacc pit. And it's abused. That's the sound of Thanksgiving. That's how they make pumpkin spice.
Stephanie
It's out now they're rolling out.
John Holmberg
Of course. It's July. Gotta get you ready for the Halloween spirit. Good Lord.
Stephanie
The signs are up for Halloween.
John Holmberg
I haven't seen that yet. My God. All right, Glizzy's in a. We got hot dogs. Oh, wait, no, that's a different thing. Here's a lady hovering over. What? It's just a. It's a. Oh, it's ball sack cam. And she kicks it. The guy's got a camera right under his balls. And this lady's foot comes flying in out of nowhere. And you get to see an up close shot of slow motion. Justin Tucker's worst nightmare. Oh, my God.
That was a CEO from the Coldplay concert when he got home.
How happy is that guy? Ozzy died, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
That dude's thrilled that Ozzy passed away.
There you go.
All right, here's a lady all folded up. She's peeing in her own Mouth on the beach. She's naked, hydrating herself. She's got her butt in the air and her head underneath. She's folded herself up and now she's urinating straight from her right from the tap into her own onto her own face. She seems like she's not enjoying it, but she's really the only one that can control whether this stops. She's got a flow problem. A lot of stops. I mean, everybody can do that. That's not like an achievement. It's just whether you would.
All right, let's go for this one.
All right, here's another. Oh, geez. There's a guy with his hand all the way up to the mid forearm in a lady. Is that a hand? Oh, it's a foot. His foot is inside a woman and he's moving it around in her belly. And you. It's a lady, and she's moving her. She's moving her foot around in this Asian girl's guts. Yeah, me. And you can see it moving around like man. Like aliens trapped in her tummy. I don't remember this scene in Ferris Bueller.
No, me neither. This is the director's cut.
Was this before or after they did the parade?
Stephanie
Rooney.
John Holmberg
And then we'll just.
That never happened. One word memory of the entire movie.
We'll end with this.
All right, go ahead. Oh, Jesus God. There's a lady with a wiener.
Brady
Two ladies with wieners.
John Holmberg
All right, there's two ladies. There's three, by the way, because the one underneath is a lady with a wiener. And she is doing something to the lady on top of her with a wiener. While another lady puts her mouth on the wiener of the lady on top of the lady with the wiener.
That sounds like a Brady star.
Oh, my God. Yeah. Brady will be right back to. Yeah, okay. All right. There's a lady with a weenie. She's on her back sitting down. And another lady with a weenie is sitting on top of that weenie. And then the top lady with the weenie is putting her weenie in the mouth of what appears to just be a woman.
Stephanie
We can't confirm yet it's AI.
John Holmberg
I'm gonna let you go with that. But it's not. AI wouldn't have admitted made a big fat redhead with bad tattoos as the last lady. Blowing the lady with a weenie on.
Top of, like the Fender sisters from yesterday.
Fat redhead lady blows lady with a weenie. While that lady with a weenie is on another lady with a weenie.
I need a flowchart.
For that or need a scorecard? Now batting. That's a toughie. Well, there you go, everybody. There goes your brain report for this glorious Wednesday. It's 8:39, John. Yep.
Brady
I'm a divorce lawyer. Please talk to your friends. Bring on the dream chips.
John Holmberg
Oh my God.
Brady
I'll be printing money.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. You won't be able to keep up. All I. I want to be a secretary. I'll make a million and a half dollars a year. Just being your taking calls for you.
Dick Toledo
Another dream chip problem.
John Holmberg
Just keep them flowing, baby.
Brady
The ads will be great.
John Holmberg
Do you have dream dream chips? They're gonna invent something like that. And eventually. Look, this phone. Going through a phone.
Dick Toledo
Who's this number? What's that?
John Holmberg
Oh, geez. No, I had to call that person to work with them. And I was like, aha. Everybody's been through the phone thing.
Brady
And like you said, the texts will be more damaged.
John Holmberg
Every email started it. When you left an email open and somebody saw an email, and you're like, I saw this. What's this? And you gotta start doing the dream chips. It's the end of it. Because it didn't really happen, so you can't really lie your way out of it. But all you're saying, it's just a dream.
Dick Toledo
Why did you kill me?
John Holmberg
I don't know. I can't control. But if you try to take me for half. The dream chip was more of a harbinger than it was a dream. Dream chips. We're in trouble if we start recording our thoughts. Can you imagine? I tried to explain that to Megan the other day of what was going on in our text thread for Toledo's birthday.
Dick Toledo
What are you looking at?
John Holmberg
Cause it was just out of the corner of her arm like a bunch of dicks.
Brady
Isn't it clear why?
John Holmberg
Well, don't worry. I haven't made like a swap a roo or anything. I'm just sending daisy chains to Toledo. You don't want to know what's in here. What's that? You've seen that meme of that guy sitting with his phone? And she goes, who are you texting? I'm just texting the dudes in my thread.
Dick Toledo
Let me see your phone.
John Holmberg
I don't believe you. You think I'm. I'm having an affair?
Dick Toledo
Let me see what that is.
John Holmberg
He goes, baby, you don't want to see what we're talking about.
Dick Toledo
Let me see it.
John Holmberg
He goes, fine. I'm cheating on you. I am having an affair. You cannot. I am. You think I'm with it. I don't believe you.
Dick Toledo
What are you guys talking about?
John Holmberg
You don't want to know. It's very rarely anything having to do with reality. Our text threads very, very rare. In fact, what I text you guys last night that you all woke up to.
Brady
Yes.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Literally involved. It literally involved the abuse.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Of another human being. Like it was too Ra and his family. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I believe I wished the entire family charred in a car accident. Not sure I typed that close.
Okay, right between lines.
I was rooting for a massive domestic violence nightmare in this person's home and you guys all said, yeah.
Dick Toledo
Awesome.
John Holmberg
Brady did. At least Brady got up to pee at 3 in the morning and stepped over Kaitlin's dead body in the bedroom.
Dick Toledo
Sorry, Caitlin. Yeah, John's right. I hope that. Oh, that family burns.
John Holmberg
You don't want to read that out of context. It doesn't make any sense. Leave each other's phones alone. And if we come up with a dream chip, you're allowed. What would we have to allow? One day a week, randomly. You get to pick and watch one dream. We'd have to come up with a lawyer's rule.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
On Sunday nights instead of like the way the families to gather around the TV and have dinner together. Instead it's dream night Red zone. Dream night red. You're allowed to pick out of a hat one dream through the week. Otherwise you want you. How many times you'd be changing your dream chip password just to keep her out.
Dick Toledo
Did you change your dream chip password again last night?
John Holmberg
Were you gonna go through my dream chip?
Dick Toledo
I just noticed that it said you changed it.
John Holmberg
I don't ever want to see your dreams.
Dick Toledo
But you'd love my dreams. They're all about how we walk and frolic.
John Holmberg
Oh, crap. Well, mine aren't.
Dick Toledo
You had sex with a standard poodle.
John Holmberg
I did not. It was a dream.
Stephanie
No. You'll find out. Their dreams are not frolicking.
John Holmberg
No. No. They're probably dark. Like.
Stephanie
That would probably be the biggest eye opener.
John Holmberg
I wonder if they'd want. They'd be all right with that. It's just a random draw into the dream. But you know what? But dudes would be cool about it because it's just a dream. Some guys would be weird, but for the most part, I don't care what you dream about.
Stephanie
You're at school again with no pants on.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah. Like if you're having those types of. This is dumb. I was rooting for one of your dirty sex dreams. I wouldn't care. I would think it's great. I would look at it as porn. There she is, hammering away on Brad Pitt again. Can I use this tomorrow? I want to keep this.
Dick Toledo
You're not even mad?
John Holmberg
No, that's never gonna happen. It's never gonna. It didn't really happen.
Dick Toledo
But you're not upset that I think it?
John Holmberg
No. You think about him and you bang me. I'm still winning here.
Brady
Am I involved?
John Holmberg
Yeah. I'm doing it like you're on top of me. Close your eyes. Think about whatever you want because I'm not thinking about you.
Dick Toledo
You're not?
John Holmberg
Occasionally I open my eyes and look at your cans bouncing around. But other than that, I'm not thinking of, like, our trip to Disneyland or anything. I'm just kind of in the moment of. Haven't you ever seen the movie Singles? I'm thinking of Xavier McDaniel. Don't yet. There goes your Brady Report, everybody. It's 98 KUP. No Dream Chip, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station in the time it takes you to actually board a flight from Group 8 now boarding Premier Altitude Elite club members. You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-603 for more details. Limited availability pickup through participating Hyundai dealer in select markets.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Release Date: July 23, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Station: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio
The episode kicks off with the hosts reminiscing about recent losses in the music world. John Holmberg pays tribute to Chris Cornell, sharing a poignant moment when a listener mentions, "I share a birthday with him" (Brady, 02:00). This segue leads to discussions about Ozzy Osbourne's enduring legacy and the potential memorials for future music legends. Brady muses, “He’s got seven of them and I think they were all played out” (02:25), critiquing the repetitive nature of tribute segments. The conversation shifts to comparing Ozzy's multifaceted persona to other artists like James Hetfield, highlighting Ozzy’s unique blend of entertainment and music.
Notable Quote:
"Ozzy was TV, he was entertainment, he was impressionists, he was comedy, he was music, he was all of that." — John Holmberg (02:52)
Stephanie Seymour introduces a segment highlighting quirky national days and intriguing facts. Celebrations such as National Gorgeous Grandma Day and National Vanilla Ice Cream Day are mentioned, sparking light-hearted banter among the hosts.
A fascinating archeological revelation is discussed, where Stephanie shares that "the oldest evidence of humans in North America is from 130,000 years ago," challenging the previous belief of 13 to 20,000 years (09:47). This leads to a playful debate about human migration and ancient continents, with John humorously noting, “We were traipsing around here before that, too” (10:07).
Notable Quote:
"A group of tech nerds in Amsterdam came up with a new gadget called the dream recorder that turns your dreams into videos." — Stephanie (23:37)
The hosts delve into a recent study revealing that “53% of Americans admit they've peed in a pool as an adult,” and “48% don't wash their swimsuits with soap after they swim” (09:12). This sparks a heated discussion about pool hygiene practices, with John expressing disgust over public washing methods:
Notable Quote:
"It's just sperms and feces of other people spinning around with your pants." — John Holmberg (11:40)
Brady attempts to defend the practicality of communal pool washing machines, but the hosts collectively ridicule the idea, emphasizing personal responsibility in maintaining swimsuit cleanliness.
Stephanie brings attention to a local news story where a McDonald's manager in Bellevue, Illinois, is under arrest for sending an employee home for refusing to take out the trash (22:15). The discussion highlights issues of workplace authority and employee rights, with John critiquing the manager's decision:
Notable Quote:
"You're taking a shot in the leg. Bad can happen after that, she learned." — John Holmberg (23:10)
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to exploring the innovative "dream recorder" device developed by tech enthusiasts in Amsterdam. This gadget transforms dream descriptions into videos, though it relies on users recalling and describing their dreams rather than actual brainwave scanning (23:37).
The hosts engage in a playful yet critical conversation about the implications of such technology. John Holmberg shares his skepticism, saying, “AI taking over could very much make your dreams look like” (24:36), while Brady humorously envisages the commercialization of dreams:
Notable Quote:
"It's a terrible Come on, man. How did she have those? Nice. She had a great butt. She had a girl butt." — John Holmberg (32:04)
The segment evolves into a comedic exchange where Dick Toledo and Brady discuss the humorous and often bizarre nature of dream recordings, leading to imaginative scenarios about the potential misuse and privacy concerns surrounding "dream chips."
The co-hosts introduce various comedy bits, including video clips of humorous accidents and mishaps. From people walking into glass doors to exaggerated dream scenarios, the segment is filled with laughter and lighthearted teasing.
A particularly entertaining part involves the hosts imagining how their dreams would appear through the dream recorder, leading to exaggerated and fictitious dream narratives:
Notable Quote:
"I have a feeling I'm gonna be like, I saw it. I saw it. She's got a dick." — John Holmberg (32:15)
The playful banter continues as the hosts pretend to access each other's dream chips, creating fictional and outrageous dream sequences that highlight the absurdity and limitless creativity of the technology.
As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reflect on the day's discussions, emphasizing the blend of humor and seriousness that characterizes their show. They ponder the ethical implications of technology like dream chips and the importance of maintaining personal privacy in an increasingly digital world.
Notable Quote:
"We're in trouble if we start recording our thoughts." — John Holmberg (37:20)
In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, listeners are treated to a blend of engaging discussions ranging from music tributes and quirky national facts to societal behaviors and groundbreaking technology. The hosts skillfully weave humor with insightful commentary, making complex topics accessible and entertaining. Through their dynamic interactions and candid conversations, John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo deliver a rich and comprehensive exploration of diverse subjects, ensuring that both regular listeners and newcomers find value and amusement in their morning broadcast.
Highlights:
Listeners are encouraged to tune in weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 98 KUPD or visit 98kupd.com to join the lively conversations and stay entertained throughout their morning.