07-24-25 - Billy Gardell - Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary Featuring Billy Gardell

Release Date: July 24, 2025
Location: Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio
Host: John Holmberg
Guest: Billy Gardell

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg welcomes comedian Billy Gardell to the Desert Ridge Improv studio. The conversation delves deep into Billy's personal journey, his experiences in the entertainment industry, and reflections on contemporary societal issues.

---

Navigating the Digital Age and Social Media

Billy Gardell opens up about his perspective on the overwhelming influx of information on the internet:

Billy Gardell [03:04]: "My hope is that the Internet just gets so full of crap to the point where no one believes anything, it'll collapse on itself and we can go back to movies and record stores."

John Holmberg resonates with Billy's sentiment, highlighting the challenges of keeping up with the rapid pace of digital content:

John Holmberg [03:27]: "It's sort of almost the Sodom and Gomorrah thing that it would be so disgusting that it will eventually collapse."

The duo discusses the potential consequences of misinformation and the loss of genuine human connections in the digital era.

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Humor Amidst Chaos: Handling Disturbing Content

Billy addresses the nature of radio and television content, emphasizing his choice to steer clear of overly disturbing material to preserve his empathy:

Billy Gardell [04:27]: "I purposely avoid stuff like that because I don't want to lose my empathy nerve."

John shares his discomfort with excessively graphic content, illustrating the fine line comedians and hosts tread between humor and sensitivity:

John Holmberg [05:03]: "My line got really weird... Like, what the hell is wrong with you?"

---

A Passion for Comedy and Resilience in Showbiz

Billy recounts his hiatus from stand-up comedy during the COVID-19 pandemic, citing health challenges as a catalyst for change:

Billy Gardell [16:58]: "I was like, I can't go out and tour. So we were working without an audience and... I realized I had to make a big change."

Inspired by friends and witnessing vibrant live performances, Billy found the motivation to return to the stage, leading to a renewed passion for comedy:

Billy Gardell [17:48]: "There was a weird itch in my shoulder. I was like, well, let me see if there's anything left in the tank here."

---

Weight Loss Journey and Personal Transformation

A significant portion of the conversation centers on Billy's battle with weight and his journey towards better health. He shares candidly about his struggles:

Billy Gardell [21:13]: "I had to... my presence was different on stage. I went from, like, a minivan to a coupe."

Billy details his medical interventions, including bariatric surgery, and the profound impact it had on his life and career:

Billy Gardell [22:08]: "I elected to get bariatric surgery, which comes with some risks... It was four years ago, July 17th."

John expresses admiration for Billy's determination and the positive changes it brought:

John Holmberg [22:20]: "170 pounds gone. And logic."

---

Career Aspirations and Future Projects

Billy shares his ambitions beyond stand-up comedy, expressing interest in acting and potentially rebooting classic TV shows:

Billy Gardell [18:51]: "I'm really interested in doing some drama. You know what? I'd really like to reboot the Rockford Files."

The discussion highlights Billy's desire to explore diverse roles and his proactive steps towards achieving these goals, including signing with Levity Entertainment:

Billy Gardell [19:45]: "I just signed with Levity Entertainment. Judy Marmel has been a lifelong friend..."

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Reflections on Society and Personal Beliefs

Towards the end of the episode, John and Billy engage in a lighthearted yet thought-provoking conversation about societal preparedness and personal philosophies:

Billy Gardell [25:21]: "You want to be the rebel. Lame and kind is the way to go."

This segment underscores the duo's mutual belief in kindness and empathy as foundational societal values.

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Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Billy leaves listeners with a nugget of wisdom, encouraging personal growth and adaptability:

Billy Gardell [28:51]: "You can't change nouns, people, places or things. Yeah, you change your approach, your reaction, and your proximity."

John thanks Billy for his candidness and shares details about Billy's upcoming performances at Desert Ridge Improv, ensuring fans know where to catch him next.

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a heartfelt and humorous exploration of Billy Gardell's life, his resilience in the face of personal and professional challenges, and his thoughtful takes on modern societal issues. Listeners are treated to an authentic conversation that balances laughter with meaningful insights.

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Notable Quotes:

• Billy Gardell [03:04]: "My hope is that the Internet just gets so full of crap to the point where no one believes anything, it'll collapse on itself and we can go back to movies and record stores."

• John Holmberg [05:03]: "My line got really weird... Like, what the hell is wrong with you?"

• Billy Gardell [21:13]: "I had to... my presence was different on stage. I went from, like, a minivan to a coupe."

• Billy Gardell [28:51]: "You can't change nouns, people, places or things. Yeah, you change your approach, your reaction, and your proximity."

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Tune In:

Catch Billy Gardell live at Desert Ridge Improv on Saturday and Sunday. For more information and ticket bookings, visit desertridgeimprov.com.

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness continues to deliver insightful and entertaining conversations with Arizona's top talents, making your mornings both enjoyable and thought-provoking.

Transcript

[John]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Mike Vecchione]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Eastsiders the Tempe Improv has two very funny guys in Mike Vecchione and comedian CP Downtown at Stand Up Live you've got the always entertaining John Dela Cruz, AKA Nurse John, and up north at Desert Ridge features comedy vet and friend of the show, Steve Byrne. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Planning a summer getaway?

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You thought that was funny?

[Billy Gardell]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John]

What the hell is wrong with you? Billy Gardell is here. He's at Desert Ridge Improv tonight. Or actually tomorrow, a Saturday and Sunday. You're here early. You came in on Thursday.

[Billy Gardell]

I came to see you.

[John]

That can't be true.

[Billy Gardell]

Dropped by the backyard. Listen, I'm from Earth one. I need to be on TV and The radio.

[John]

All right.

[Billy Gardell]

I'm from Earth One.

[John]

I'm with you on that.

[Billy Gardell]

Most of the folks who follow me are. I'm trying to get the younger folks in with the social. I just started that, like, seven months ago. But social media, I'm tried and true. Radio and tv.

[John]

Yeah. It's the way it works. You.

[Billy Gardell]

It's got.

[John]

It's got some results.

[Billy Gardell]

Back when we weren't insane exactly. Kind of enjoy the written word.

[John]

It's gone a little quick for me, too. And what I love is when I hear somebody who's like 25 going, I can't keep up. Like, good, because then I don't feel like I'm an idiot.

[Billy Gardell]

My hope is that the Internet just gets so full of crap to the point where no one believes anything, it'll collapse on itself and we can go back to movies and record stores. That's my dream.

[John]

That is a beautiful dream. That's a beautiful dream.

[N/A]

That's all it takes is lack of power a little bit. You know, you need.

[John]

But I don't know. So it's sort of almost the Sodom and Gomorrah thing that it would be so disgusting that it will eventually collapse. And then we have to go back to.

[N/A]

We've reset before.

[Billy Gardell]

If we just don't believe. If it gets to the point where nobody believes anything, we might start talking to each other again.

[John]

But again, I just explained to you. Yesterday, I talked to a Browns fan, and I realized there's a reason not to engage.

[Billy Gardell]

I'm counting for Browns fans.

[John]

I mean, there's certain times when you're engaging.

[Billy Gardell]

You have to show compassion. They know not what.

[John]

It's like talking to animals. It's like in the woods talking to, like, a small. Like a squirrel. I'm like, why am I engaged? This brainless creature and I are now. But it. It learned the power of speech.

[Billy Gardell]

Somehow. It learned to leave the house.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

And got out somewhere and talk.

[John]

It had its bowl of water in front of him.

[N/A]

Struggle.

[John]

It was weird. But, yeah, there's. Yeah. I. I think if the Internet's gotten to where it is today and this still isn't enough to collapse it, I'm not sure your dream can come.

[Billy Gardell]

No, I think it will. It'll be. It'll be the point of misinformation, I think.

[John]

I hope you're right.

[Billy Gardell]

It gets to the point where nobody can believe anything. We're going to have to rely on each other again. I just hope we make it to that point.

[John]

That's a beautiful thought, but We've literally spent day after day in this room getting sent videos of people whose anuses.

[Billy Gardell]

Fall out of their video thing you guys do, and I could never do that.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

God bless you for being able to wade through it. I purposely avoid stuff like that because I don't want to lose my empathy nerve. I think if you.

[John]

That could be.

[Billy Gardell]

If you bang on that too long, nothing affects you. And I still want to be like, oh, man. Hey, whoa.

[John]

You like being affected by disgusting.

[Billy Gardell]

I like to have. I like to know where my line is.

[John]

Yes. You have a gauge.

[Billy Gardell]

I got no line for anybody else. But I personally don't want to lose my empathy.

[John]

See, my weird one was, it got to the point where bodies doing things to each other were like, well, that's their choice. And then a lady ate flies off of flypaper and it couldn't stop throwing up.

[Billy Gardell]

Wow.

[John]

My line got really weird.

[Billy Gardell]

How bad?

[N/A]

Which surprised me.

[Billy Gardell]

Out of all the stuff, how bad do you want to be famous?

[John]

Right?

[Billy Gardell]

Yes. That's what it is, you know?

[John]

Yeah. And I couldn't tell if I was being, like, a bigot or not because it was an Asian lady. And I'm like, is that what I'm upset about? Like, is it because it's some poor country? Maybe this is her meal? And I'm like, now your brain's just being mean.

[Billy Gardell]

Well, you just know what to do. That's the thing. It just splinters your perception. And you're like, what should I be thinking? What should I be thinking? You should be thinking, that lady shouldn't be eating that.

[John]

That's exactly.

[Billy Gardell]

It's that simple. No mystery. Yeah.

[John]

You get down to the base of it. It's like, this is probably.

[Billy Gardell]

Shouldn't be licking flies off fly pit.

[N/A]

That one. I saw a guy make bat stews.

[Billy Gardell]

I'm not a scientist. I've done no research. That's where I would fall on this.

[John]

And you know what? Next item, next on the docket. We got a guy who' penis fell out. Probably shouldn't be doing that either. It falls out and it looks like a beehive.

[Billy Gardell]

And I've lost my keys. Good Lord.

[John]

And speaking of losing.

[Billy Gardell]

And how do you go back in and talk to somebody? Yeah.

[John]

And he says, oh, I die. Like, that happens to me.

[Billy Gardell]

I die just laying in the corner.

[John]

No doctor is ever going to know, hey, this happens. It's like, well, you're going to die then, because you're not. I'm not touching it. What doctor says, I got this. Like, who's trained for that. Nobody should. And that's the thing. They shouldn't even train because it'll keep us. We'll be more careful. If doctors are like, there's one thing we won't do is put that back in.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

That's a very. You'd have to go to school for a long time. That's a very. You'd have to. If I would charge so much, I'd only have to do, like, one of those a year as a doctor. Just like one cost you 3.5 million.

[John]

It's a special.

[N/A]

Get you fixed up.

[John]

I would imagine that in doctor school, the anus collapse is probably the last year because you'd lose so many students if you started there. Like, this is going to be something you guys see a lot.

[Billy Gardell]

You got it. That's got to be like.

[John]

That's one of the last terms. Midterms, you're wearing the hat with the tassel. And then I go, oh, yeah, I forgot something. And then they hit you with that.

[Billy Gardell]

Start with the eyes. Like, better. Worse. Okay, next chapter is going to get a little weird, guys.

[John]

Same. Same exact contraption, though, to figure it out. Billy Gardell's at the Desert Ridge Improv for my birthday, by the way. Saturday.

[Billy Gardell]

Happy birthday.

[John]

And here's the thing. I don't believe you.

[Billy Gardell]

What?

[John]

Well, now, we talked about this twice, okay? First time you were here, you came over the house, watched Steelers and Bengals.

[Billy Gardell]

The Steeler Vortex. That's right. You know, the most impressive thing to me, all that stuff, the fact you had the Enzo music, It's literally like going to a sports bar to see a game. But the thing that blew me away, that I told some of my buddies back in Pittsburgh, is he actually had a rack of Steeler jerseys and different sizes. God forbid somebody forgot their colors. You could choose a number off the rack and wear that. Yeah. Unbelievable.

[John]

It's up to about 80 jerseys.

[Billy Gardell]

Seriously. That is a Yinzer Batcave. You have a Yinzer Batcave.

[John]

You have no idea how much that means to me.

[Billy Gardell]

You do.

[John]

That's an amazing thing. And it's better than. It's like, where you were was the.

[Billy Gardell]

So you've added on.

[John]

Oh, it's disgusting.

[Billy Gardell]

Pretty big when I saw it.

[John]

Well, you got to see it now. It's indoors, so it's, like, much better.

[Billy Gardell]

The bathroom. The bathroom.

[John]

The bathroom has been upgraded to. Yeah, the bathroom.

[Billy Gardell]

The Steeler bathroom.

[John]

It is pretty awesome. Yeah. Look, Billy, you're. You're making me love you a little more. Thank you. But when you were here, you didn't realize I was this type of Steeler fan?

[Billy Gardell]

No, I didn't realize how hardcore you were.

[John]

I don't know. That you knew, being from Pittsburgh, that we existed elsewhere in this form, right?

[Billy Gardell]

Of course I do.

[John]

But here in Phoenix, you were like, yeah, he says he's a Steeler fan. You're probably a little bit taken back, like, oh, no, this is legit. And plus, the group of people I've got are equally as into it as I am. And then you had a lot of faith. I realized, good Steelers. Midway through, you said to me, I'm going to do something for you. What did I say? We've talked about you. Oh, yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

I'm sorry if I don't. I'm sorry I'm getting reduced for you. And you said, how can I make my amendment?

[John]

You said that you cried openly when you saw the. The Chief. The play.

[Billy Gardell]

I did. The video.

[John]

The video.

[Billy Gardell]

I still owe you.

[John]

And you said you're sorry. I talked to you on the phone two years later, and I said, where's my video?

[Billy Gardell]

All right.

[John]

And you. You know when it's on the way.

[Billy Gardell]

And it never came.

[John]

And of course not. And then after.

[Billy Gardell]

Not, of course. I'm usually really good about this stuff. I'm so sorry.

[John]

Oh, it's all right. And then afterwards, I start seeing it available, and I'm like, I'm gonna get that. No, Billy's gonna get me that.

[Billy Gardell]

I am gonna. I'm gonna make that right. I'm gonna make my amends.

[John]

That's right.

[Billy Gardell]

I will get Gene Collier, who wrote it, to sign it.

[John]

Oh. And I thought that's why.

[Billy Gardell]

Gene's a great guy. I know. That's why I wanted to do it for. I'm so sorry.

[John]

I thought that's why you were here on my birthday. I thought this was a big surprise. The remedy. No, it's fine.

[Billy Gardell]

No, no, no, no. But it was a. I owe that plus a vig.

[John]

Okay.

[Billy Gardell]

I will make that right.

[John]

All right. And you got to come back during football season and hit one of these things because the games have gotten.

[Billy Gardell]

How you feeling about that?

[John]

Well, you know, it's. You know, I'm not like the typical. It's a train wreck. I think they. Here's the thing, though. Nobody's paying attention to it. Everyone else will tune out, and I don't care. You and I will talk about. This is more interesting to me. What they have done is plan for next year because they got six compensatory picks through their little moves. They have 13 picks next year we do. In a quarterback heavy draft.

[Billy Gardell]

We do.

[John]

So we're probably going to move all that to get up.

[Billy Gardell]

Well, how, how. What are your thoughts on Will Howard?

[John]

I think we're all. I have a problem with Ohio State quarterbacks.

[Billy Gardell]

Oh, really? Well, the last time we put an Ohio kid behind center that was big and had a big arm and could be a little mobile, it worked out pretty well.

[John]

An Ohio kid, not an Ohio State kid.

[Billy Gardell]

Well, it's still championship.

[John]

Ohio State had five.

[Billy Gardell]

We got Grandpa Simpson. What are we doing? He's out in space. He's looking at star charts.

[John]

Yeah, no, that is. He's a little off. It's tough to root for a guy.

[Billy Gardell]

And he's full of it.

[N/A]

You hated it from the get go.

[Billy Gardell]

Okay, I, I don't care for. I don't see what the point of this is.

[John]

Things to have.

[Billy Gardell]

I love that we got Metcalf because we need a big DK's great like that.

[John]

Love that. Like the draft.

[Billy Gardell]

I'm not sure. I'm not sure that is it. Miles? No. Who's our third receiver? Second.

[John]

Oh, we've got. Well, we got two. Well, Robert woods and then Calvin Austin. Austin.

[Billy Gardell]

Austin I really like, but I don't think he's a number two. I think he's a number three.

[John]

Roman Wilson is another one.

[Billy Gardell]

I don't know.

[John]

Nobody knows. So we don't have a good receiver room except for John. Who? Smith. Good trades. We've had good moves. I like the team. It's another 10 and 17. Who do.

[Billy Gardell]

You think is going to start as running back? Warren?

[John]

Oh, Jalen will start. I like the rookies coming in. So do I.

[Billy Gardell]

He's four yards a carry, but can he go that? Can he run like that the whole game? Is the question.

[John]

We'll see. And that's what this.

[Billy Gardell]

Because he runs hard.

[John]

The kid we got from Iowa is supposed to be like he's going to take the starting job. Like this guy fits the zone scheme and all this other stuff. But I, I look at this and I'm kind of like, yeah, this is all a play for next year.

[Billy Gardell]

I told my wife when they signed Rogers, I said, I wonder if I can get an app where I could just watch defense. Can technology help me out?

[John]

So you're struggling, even cheering for it.

[Billy Gardell]

I just. This is the guy that beat us in the super bowl last. I'm supposed to go root for this guy now.

[John]

But what were the better option? Oh, go back to Will Howard though. The Ohio State quarterback problem I have is he wanted. He won a national championship with Ohio State in the games that mattered leading up to the playoffs. He was not good. And also he was behind a professional line. All five of those guys are going to. The receivers are going in the NFL, the tight ends going to the NFL. Both running backs are in the NFL. And he was okay. So in a college system where your entire offense is going pro and you were just average. That's why he's a sixth round pick.

[Billy Gardell]

And I think there's a little more to him than that.

[John]

I hope you're right.

[Billy Gardell]

I don't know what Rogers was thinking either. Like, I mean you want to spend the last couple years or last year.

[N/A]

Why was it strung out so long?

[Billy Gardell]

Well. But why? Because he's a drama queen. But why. But why come to the AFC north for your last year like the beat down division. Cleveland since he's got a Cleveland Cincinnati. Like those are not nice games.

[John]

If they sign Hendrickson, he's going to hit you three times. The Browns have Miles Garrett.

[Billy Gardell]

That's a tough division to finish your season.

[John]

Yeah. You're saying he should have come out here to been a Cardinal and played against these patsies.

[Billy Gardell]

Go to Miami or. You know what I mean. Somewhere. But you know.

[John]

Yeah. It is a. It is hard. It's fingers crossed.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah.

[John]

That it all works. But. Yeah. Wouldn't it be great? Would we. Let me ask you this. He. Let's say he takes you to the promised land.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah.

[John]

And Aaron Rodgers is now in Steeler lore as one of our championship quarterbacks. Pipe dream. How do we feel?

[Billy Gardell]

Not me.

[John]

You don't like it.

[Billy Gardell]

No. No.

[John]

Even if he's. He's hoisting the Lombardi.

[Billy Gardell]

The guy he's. I can't get over watch. He beat us in a circle.

[N/A]

What about you?

[John]

I'm fine with it. All of those.

[Billy Gardell]

Just wants the hardware. He just wants the hardware.

[John]

I'll give Omar whatever it takes. And Mike Tom won the credit at that point. I'm like, these guys got us.

[N/A]

If it was a couple of years ago.

[Billy Gardell]

Mike.

[N/A]

Mike Vick.

[John]

I didn't. That's the only time I didn't watch Steeler games in the last 25 years when Vic was the starter because I'm a big animal dog guy. And I'm like, there's no reason for me to cheer for this. Yeah. I couldn't do it.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah.

[John]

So I walked away from those games and my friends were like, you're not even opening the bar for us. I'm like, nope. Steeler Games are out. Bar is closing her down.

[Billy Gardell]

We're closed.

[John]

I'm going to play with my five dogs and I'm going to have fun back there with them because I read the book about Michael Vick, and that is not hardcore. It's rough.

[Billy Gardell]

Really bad.

[John]

Now, let's talk about you. Yes, you were. Of course, you're doing your comedy stuff. You were on Mike and Molly. Bob Hart's Abishola is. That's off. Yeah. No, you're not doing that. Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

Bob Hart's Abbasola just wrapped last year and it's. It got into what's left of syndication. You know, that's much smaller now.

[John]

What is that like now?

[Billy Gardell]

Well, and it's not like it was where you would make a lot of money like Mike and Molly. God bless that show went monster ever, and it paid great forever. And residuals, very, very blessed.

[John]

Morning sickness. Morning sickness.

[N/A]

With the American Express Gold Card, I can earn four times membership rewards points at US Supermarkets. So I'll grab some chili oil points and fish packed with points. Bucatini. That's a lot of points. Heirloom tomatoes, perfectly ripe and packed with points. Get more than just your groceries with the American Express Gold Card. Learn [e-mail] US Explore-Gold terms and points cap apply.

[John]

Morning sickness.

[Billy Gardell]

Nowadays with TV shows, you get a little trickle of that because there's not as many markets. So the advertising dollar isn't as high because of the streamers. And the streamers are. You know, they worked it pretty smart, slyly. They. They. First they said it was new media, and then, you know, then they were like, we don't have any commercials. And then it's like two bucks less and we'll give you commercials and. But the thing was, the residuals don't work the same way streamers do. So it cut that down to.

[John]

So it killed it. So, Mike and Molly, if I went back and tried to download it. Your numbers are minuscule.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah. For. For downloads, we don't really get much.

[John]

No kidding.

[Billy Gardell]

We don't get much on streaming. And we lost that in the strike.

[John]

I was going to say.

[Billy Gardell]

Okay, I. I'm pretty sure Sir Isaac Newton could explain that side contract to me. Still would not.

[John]

Because you do. There are people standing outside in the heat striking for this very reason.

[Billy Gardell]

We did, and we struck for months. And it just still is not clear to me how any of that.

[John]

Do you want to do TV again or is it because of this?

[Billy Gardell]

I do. You know, man, now that I have, I've changed my Entire appearance you have. I did. I. You know, I, I. About the third year of Bob Hart, Sabbath Shoal. I stopped touring because Covet hit.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

And it was the first. Did they have Covid?

[John]

No, we didn't do it.

[Billy Gardell]

We skipped it.

[John]

We skipped it. We went right past, like, what are.

[Billy Gardell]

These things where I let that happen? And I was, you know, when the first wave hit, when it was really bad, you know, the most dangerous earmarks that they put up, like sleep apnea, obese, type 2 diabetes. Like, I had them all.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

So I was like, I can't go out and tour. So we were working without an audience and, you know, just testing before work. And I realized then that coupled with the fact that I had developed type 2 diabetes and my heart was, you know, I think my resting heartbeat was like 135 that was sitting.

[John]

Wow.

[Billy Gardell]

So the warranties were running off.

[John]

Oh, yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

So I had to make a big change. And with that came a lot of cool things. I thought I was done with standup, and then I finished the show. And then I had some buddies kept annoying me to get back up on stage in the best way. Ian Bagg and Titus, probably Steve Burn, Titus Leno, Alonzo Bowden, Ryan Reese. And these guys kept saying, get back up here. And I was like, nah, I think I'm done. And then I actually went down and saw Ian Bagg with my wife. We went down to see him in Irvine, and he was having one of those nights where you're just slicing the audience.

[John]

Yeah, he's great.

[Billy Gardell]

And I got that weird itch in my shoulder. I was like, well, let me see if there's anything left in the tank here. So I started messing around with open mic nights, and before I knew it, I was back out on the road working on a new island.

[John]

What's that like when Billy Gardell hits the Wednesday night crowd?

[Billy Gardell]

You know, man, it's very weird, but it's. It's got a very Gen X feel to it, which kind of appeals to me. It's kind of like being in a great band.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

Now your band's broken up, but you can still play guitar. But you gotta figure out what the new thing's gonna be. So that, to me, that's inspiring. And now I'm going out for roles. I'm starting to audition for different roles, which I would have never got to play before. I'm older and I look completely different, but now I can slide in, hopefully to those roles of, you know, like the. The Chief of the police or the Bad Guy or the. The crooked politician or the, you know, or maybe, you know, the dad or so. But I also. I'm really interested in doing some drama. You know what? I'd really like to reboot. And I'm gonna start talking about this to see if it's possible. I would love to reboot the Rockford Files.

[John]

Oh, my God.

[Billy Gardell]

Just for the car, right?

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

Theme song.

[John]

Oh, the theme songs.

[Billy Gardell]

Jim Rockford. Leave a message at the beep. And I would like to play Rockford.

[N/A]

Such a good show.

[Billy Gardell]

That would. That standing idea. See what happens.

[John]

We're rebooting stuff.

[Billy Gardell]

Why not?

[John]

Why not?

[Billy Gardell]

Everybody loves nostalgia. And. And that's a great one. You could update it, make it a little darker.

[John]

Except the same car.

[Billy Gardell]

Oh, you gotta.

[John]

You gotta have 77.

[Billy Gardell]

77.

[John]

Yeah, something like that. It was a beautiful. Yeah, gotta have that one. Yep. The Firebird.

[Billy Gardell]

The gold.

[John]

An angel is his kind of annoying comedic release partner.

[Billy Gardell]

Sleep on the beach.

[John]

Who do we cast there? Who are you looking at? Who's in it with it?

[Billy Gardell]

I don't know yet, but I'm in Billy.

[John]

That's it. You don't have to get me that.

[Billy Gardell]

What would be a fun show, I would love to do, but I'd like to. To do an hour long, I think is what.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

I don't know what's going to happen, but I'd like to try to do that.

[John]

That's cool. That would be awesome. And do you have, like. Do you want someone to, like, just. You pitch the idea and somebody runs with it.

[Billy Gardell]

I'm working. I'm gonna. I'm talking to my manager and we're gonna. You know, I just signed with Levity Entertainment. Judy Marmel has been a lifelong friend my manager has stepped on because he's 75 now.

[John]

Yeah. It's time to quit.

[Billy Gardell]

It was time.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

And. And we're still like. That guy was like a second father. Me, I still talk to him every day. But Judy is this amazing force. And I said, I think I'd really like to do this. So we're gonna explore who has the rights and then what kind of writer. That's awesome to do it. Right. But look, you throw stuff against the wall. You see what happens.

[John]

Yeah. And it's kind of scary. At a certain point, you get to an age where you're like, I don't start anything new.

[Billy Gardell]

No. Well, I. I just. I go the other way with that. I like that because it feels like I'm still growing.

[John]

You're starting new. Yeah. See, I struggle with that.

[Billy Gardell]

If I'm unsure of it and if it scares me a little, then I think that's kind of what I go.

[John]

You run to it.

[Billy Gardell]

Not. Not like the. Not like when I was young. You just run towards danger like a moron.

[N/A]

You learn to differentiate, but you're chasing it more.

[Billy Gardell]

I think the things that you follow passionately sometimes tend to bloom.

[John]

Interesting. Yeah. Because I have things where if I see something that scares me, I run into the wall.

[Billy Gardell]

Go the other way.

[John]

No, I run towards it. I just miss and I smash into the wall. Yeah. There's, like, my shoulder goes in. I get smashed into the frame. Yeah. But I think that's kind of the fun of it. But also I found that, you know, I get complacent, and those things kind of make me.

[Billy Gardell]

Complacency feels like safety.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

Like, I was. When I got back up on stage, like, you know, I lost 170 pounds.

[John]

I was just gonna ask you. I had. Wow.

[Billy Gardell]

I had to, like. I, like, my presence was different on stage. I went from, like, a minivan to a coupe, and I'm like, you know. So I had to get used to that, too, because I was. At one point, I was the get out of the way guy. Now I'm like, I'm sorry, did I bump you? So, like, I had to downshift.

[N/A]

You're fragile.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah, I'm fragile now, so. But I. I've really enjoyed embracing.

[John]

So you used to use your way to mow people over fairly regularly, and now you're.

[Billy Gardell]

When you're a big force, you can just kind of, you know, people see you coming, you know, but nowadays, a different presence. I feel like Jason. I'm Jason Bourne now. I just disappeared.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

And I just. So. But that's been the fun of rebuilding.

[John]

What's better about being bigger?

[Billy Gardell]

I don't know if any of it's better. I was just lucky enough to be able to carry my weight for a long time because I played sports in high school, and that's probably the reason I could car the weight that I did for as long as I can. But you can't outrun the clock.

[John]

No.

[Billy Gardell]

At some point, those numbers start climbing, and you're like, I either make a change or no.

[John]

Did you ever get to that point where, like, I'll never be £305. I'll never be 310.

[Billy Gardell]

Oh, God. Yeah, man. I. I think I topped out at 385.

[John]

Holy smokes.

[Billy Gardell]

And I'm 212 this morning. We're the same, isn't that crazy.

[John]

That's incredible. And it was all just like, life changes.

[Billy Gardell]

I did. Well, no one heavier than you. Yeah. I'm sorry. You know, it starts with loving yourself.

[John]

Brady also yesterday told us seven burgers for lunch the other day, which was not.

[Billy Gardell]

Cut it down to four baby steps a little at a time. No, I. What I did was I did bariatric surgery.

[John]

Oh, okay.

[Billy Gardell]

I actually. I went on ozempic for type 2 diabetes the first year it was out.

[John]

Oh, okay.

[Billy Gardell]

And I was their spokesperson for a while.

[John]

I remember that.

[Billy Gardell]

And last time I saw your car, they didn't. That's right, they didn't. They didn't know that it was going to be a weight loss drug then. They were. So the dose I was on was just to help. I think I lost, like, £15 in a year on it. But then they started increasing the dose and finding that, oh, this is a weight loss drug now they're seeing that it helps with forms of OCD and addiction. It's pretty amazing. But I didn't know that. And so I did it to manage it for a year. And then I just got to the place where my knee and my hip were hurting so bad. My blood numbers were so bad, I had to do something drastic because I was at the point where I couldn't exercise. I hit that point.

[John]

Wow.

[Billy Gardell]

So I elected to get bariatric surgery, which comes with some risks. You know, you really have to maintain this thing. And I got that done. It was four years ago, July 17th.

[John]

It's £170.

[Billy Gardell]

173, but who's counting, right?

[John]

By the way, Billy, you're going to be here for breaking news.

[Billy Gardell]

Well, what do we got?

[John]

Hulk Hogan just died.

[Billy Gardell]

No rip Hulk. He got a little weird at the end there. Did get a little strange, but, boy, was he fun in the 80s.

[John]

Yeah. As a eulogy, an immediate eulogy. I think you nailed it. Nailed it. But was he. Wasn't he weird the whole time?

[Billy Gardell]

I. I think we found out he was weird.

[John]

Yeah. I think.

[Billy Gardell]

I think I just always remember him from Rocky. Yeah. It got weirder as it went. Yeah. But Rocky 3, I thought thunder Lips.

[John]

Yeah. So that's. Sorry. Thunderlips was the best.

[N/A]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah. Was he the one that killed Apollo? No, he beat up Rocky.

[Billy Gardell]

But the best line is. Is it when they're introing him And Rocky goes, what do you think he eats? And Mickey goes, about 232 pounds. Weighing in at 232 pounds, Rocky Balboa.

[John]

That's hilarious. Yeah, it's a. Wow. That's weird that that popped up right as you were talking. I'm sorry, that interrupted. That's a fun thing to do. Talk to the comedian, tell him about who's recently.

[Billy Gardell]

Hey, man, whatever. We're still here, right?

[John]

We're still standing still here. But I always think of that. You said that. And it struck me as he was a little weird at the end. But, I mean, we watched a man in, like, red Speedo tights for 40 years and never once said he's weir weird until he started getting political.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah.

[N/A]

And then that was so.

[Billy Gardell]

Well, no, he had all that weird stuff in Florida.

[John]

Oh, all that got weird.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah. It just got so, like, what is going on?

[John]

His wife was doing stuff with his friends.

[Billy Gardell]

Very glad I'm lame.

[John]

Yeah. Is that something you're proud of?

[Billy Gardell]

I tell my son now, you want to be punk rock today? You want to be a rebel? Be lame and kind?

[John]

Yeah, it's different.

[Billy Gardell]

You want to be the rebel. Lame and kind is the way to go.

[John]

That is a really good rebellious move at this point.

[Billy Gardell]

Always going the other direction.

[John]

Completely boring. And just hanging around the house. Say thank you and please.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah.

[John]

Hey, how you doing today, sir and ma'? Am? What do you mean by that?

[N/A]

What are you going with, bro?

[Billy Gardell]

I tell everybody, man. Keep. Keep lying to your kids. But I think we're almost done here.

[John]

Yeah. Do you want to be here to watch it all check out? That's been my goal.

[Billy Gardell]

No, I don't want to. If something horrible happens, I hope it hits my house.

[John]

Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

Oh, I'd like to go nuclear bomb or somebody close. You'? I've realized I'm too lazy to be foraging for water.

[John]

Yeah. Oh, I'm not doing that.

[Billy Gardell]

I can't. I'm not. I don't need to know which plants I can eat. Just. I'll go out in the pool.

[John]

My dad says that he's always like, you know, he's in Texas now and that changed his mindset. That the whole thing. Oh, it's just, it's. And he's always like, you need. You need to get ready for. For this. That there's going to be a civil war. And I'm like, I'm not dead. I don't know how to do.

[N/A]

Get ready for an extra 30 days.

[Billy Gardell]

Have you ever thought about how insane that sounds, though? We're all American. Yeah. And there's not going to be civil war because what are you going to do? Go door to door looking for people? I mean. Yeah, it's Going to be like, yo, Samity Sam. When he yells, charge. And they run down the street and nobody's there. And then they go back the other way. Charge.

[John]

But like you said, if somebody comes to my house, like, I'm going to kill you unless you feed me. I'm like, come on in. Yeah, I got soups, whatever you want. When that runs out, I'm closing my own shop.

[Billy Gardell]

So first thing I say to people when they're in house. You hungry?

[John]

Yeah. I'm not going to start shooting at you.

[Billy Gardell]

When I says, whoa, dragon, I means, whoa. Whoa.

[N/A]

Doors open.

[John]

And my dad's trying to train me for the apocalypse.

[N/A]

And I'm like, I think people enjoy that, though.

[Billy Gardell]

They.

[N/A]

They love the prepping and that crap. They get in.

[John]

Do you have a skill in the end of the world that you would.

[Billy Gardell]

I have nothing.

[John]

You'd be.

[Billy Gardell]

Doing anything. Rocks in your pocket, you know, that's all.

[John]

Yeah, I kind of feel the same. I do kind of want to watch the credits roll. Like, watch Earth. Like it's.

[Billy Gardell]

Just see the final scene, just to see the last. I wonder if there'll be a cut scene. It'd be like a guy popping out of the water, a little nude or something. What's that?

[John]

Oh, it's setting up for a sequel.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, I see. I want to see if there's anything after the credits, like bloopers. And then I'll just check out with it.

[N/A]

But I hope I vaporize.

[Billy Gardell]

That's what I'm saying. Just a little outline of me on the ground.

[John]

I have an image of me sitting on that mountain on top with a drink, just watching it all unfold. Not what I thought. Yeah.

[Billy Gardell]

The other school of thought that we. We. We actually wake up and start, I don't know, taking care of each other.

[John]

You're crazy. You're sound like Hulk Hogan.

[Billy Gardell]

Now I guess I'm gone.

[John]

You've lost your mind.

[Billy Gardell]

Get out of here with that crazy talk.

[John]

Yeah. 100 there.

[Billy Gardell]

You and your people should have health care. The middle class should have a working wage, and unions are protected. Get out of here. You crazy?

[John]

No. 170 pounds gone. And logic.

[Billy Gardell]

Get him on again.

[John]

He's nuts. Billy Gardell is here. Desert Ridge Improv. Tomorrow, Saturday, my birthday. And Sunday. I guess it's the balance of power because I'm not going to be in town.

[Billy Gardell]

Where are you going?

[John]

I'm going to Vegas. Excellent. We're doing a thing. So we had to replace the ultimate Steeler fan with another one to keep it from. Yeah, we bounce out.

[Billy Gardell]

If he's out of town, you're filling in for me. We don't want the vibration.

[John]

Perfect. Exactly.

[N/A]

It'll be a lot kinder.

[John]

It'd be terrifying. Billy, leave us with words of wisdom. Something nice. Change the world.

[Billy Gardell]

I don't know if I could change the world. But you can change your storefront. Remember this, you can't change nouns, people, places or things. Yeah, you change your approach, your reaction, and your proximity.

[John]

It's like you had that plan. That's beautiful.

[Billy Gardell]

You bring the best out of it.

[John]

That's Billy Gardell, everybody. Thank you, sir. Billy Gardell, everyone.

[Billy Gardell]

Man, great to see you.

[John]

Awesome. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.