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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Scott
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Brady
You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? P.T. there you go. Nickelback getting it done. Still I'm back on. I'm on my train with Nickelback. I'm standing on that one. I'm gonna say it. They're badasses. The King's a Butt Rock. Make fun of them all you want. That band took a bad rap for no reason. They earned it. Watch that documentary about him. They earned it traveling around in a van all over northern Canada. Please. They are too nice. Though I will say Canadians. By the way, I got an email from a guy who got to play catch was ryan Sandberg in 1986 as a promotional thing and the Cubs let him on the field. That would be and he sent me the picture him and Ryan autograph. Like that's pretty outstanding stuff. Outrageous. And then we had the conversation also about that shooter in New York. And you know, I brought up the fact that like antidepressants are everywhere and we have more depressed people than we've ever had. It doesn't add up. So I'm thinking the drugs are basically designed to keep you kind of on on the edge of things so you can always be dependent on drugs. This guy emails in says a happy belated birthday. John, I agree with you about not blaming guns and gun rights. I'm a 27 year old man who was on antidepressants for years in high school and it was never the answer. The answer is diet and exercise I know that's cliche, but you literally are what you eat. Your energy comes straight from the things you put in your mouth. Antidepressants. Antidepressants don't help for the long term. They may help someone get out of a long term depression, but you have to want to get better. It's like a patch. It's not a cure. Keep flaming out, boys. Just kidding. Love the show, Scott. Yeah, I agree, Scott. Doctors don't want you to eat healthy. Doctors don't want you to. To, you know, recognize that you can fix a lot of the things that are going on in your life. I want you to go to them, take a couple pills. You can fix a lot. It's time now for Brady to fix all you have. It's called the Brady reports brought to you by our friends at all pro shade. I gotta get them over to the house. I got a couple spots I came up with just recently. I got them and your. The floor guys, the diamond guys. Oh. Got a couple ideas there too.
E
Diamond coatings.
Brady
Az talking to those dudes. Oh, forget it. All pro shade and diamond coatings were with us at the ball game last Wednesday and talking glazing papers. I'm glazing pavers. I'm glazing everything. That place is getting glazed like Peter north came over. And then I'm going to shade it and get some shade out there. I'm thinking about putting some shade. I got a couple of spots, good spots too. And they're going to help me out with this. Build a little thing at this little spot in the backyard where I can chip golf balls. But it's hot. I think I can put a shade over the top of that. Make like a little.
E
That would be pretty amazing.
Brady
I think I'm going to do that. I'm going to call them today. All pro shade.
E
Talking about your backyard.
Brady
I don't give it. I, I don't give a flying. Anybody's mad about that. I earned it. All pro. I don't care. Get mad at me for my success is not your failure. Yeah, I'm gonna build a little shade structure. I can do it right because these dudes are awesome. I don't tolerate anybody that gets mad at somebody for doing well. I did all right. I'm not the richest man in the world, but I can afford to do that. So I'm gonna do it.
E
Why wouldn't you?
Brady
Why wouldn't you? You'd do it if you had stuff for my pitching putt in the backyard. Yeah. Needs shade. Adding it I got all that stuff. Well, nobody's stopping you, jackass. I don't know who this fake guy is you created Brady, but I hate him.
E
Well, I think he's over it now.
Brady
Was that Jay Foe? Yeah, yeah. He was mad about my backyard. Anyway, all pro shade, you're getting a call from me today. I might even just add shade just to piss people off. All pro shade dot com. They'll get it done. They'll get it done. Right, Brady? Reporter.
E
Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.
Brady
Hello, world. Hi.
E
Happy National Wing Day and National Lasagna Day.
Brady
Yeah. Wings and lasagna heartburn coming your way. And three. That's a lot of red sauce.
Brett
You doing some lasagna today?
John Holmberg
I am now.
Brady
Are you a homemade lasagna guy? When you don't go homemade, what do you do?
John Holmberg
I don't eat it.
E
You knew that was coming.
Brett
Is that true?
E
Restaurant.
Brady
You go to a restaurant?
John Holmberg
Restaurants usually.
Brady
I'm talking like, do you go and buy the pre wavy noodles you'd never buy?
John Holmberg
No, I make my own.
Brady
You make your own ravi or lasagna?
John Holmberg
I make my own ravioli at Christmas.
Brady
I know that stuff.
John Holmberg
Them and everything.
Brady
But lasagna's so good. Like, yeah. When you make it. Yeah, but even when you just buy the Bartoli or whatever those things are cheats.
John Holmberg
I mean you man. But it's not the same.
Brady
It's frowned upon.
John Holmberg
It's frowned upon.
Brady
If I made that at my house, would you crack into it? I'd give it a shot. I wouldn't eat it.
John Holmberg
I'd have some laughter the next day.
Brett
But you know, small piece.
Brady
Yeah, you would like. My mom makes great lasagna. And she cuts the corner just using the store bought noodles. Look.
John Holmberg
It's a pain in the ass, I'm not going to lie.
Brady
Yeah, I can't imagine making lasagna noodles. How long does that take? A day? Two days?
John Holmberg
That's not that bad. That's pretty easy. Ravioli is worse.
Brady
Your house looks like a Chinese laundry. Go. Stuff hanging from. It's not worth it. I'm hungry now.
Brett
Get that ravioli tray. How many can you do at a time?
John Holmberg
10 at a time.
Brady
Oh, Brett. I would. I will call 2 Dasanti at 5 today. I won't even call him. I'll doordash it if I can't. If I want lasagna, I don't want it like tomorrow. I don't think that way again, like right now. If I wanted lasagna, I'd order it. I'm gonna Start cooking it now, nine hours later. I mean, I got two meals in between.
Brett
You're actually close to Alessia's now. You can go up there. They got some good stuff. They got an Italian market right next door.
Brady
I'm gonna clobber a Stouffer's. A bunch of. Oh, in front of him.
John Holmberg
What a slob, a jerk.
Brady
It's the ata of lasagnas.
John Holmberg
That deli next door is really good.
Brett
It's really good.
Brady
That sounds good. I'd eat lasagna immediately.
Brett
I knew he would have found it.
Brady
I don't really like lasagna. Is a weird one. I don't care who made it or where it comes from. It all. If it looks right, I'm eating it. I've eaten that oven stuff, the Stouffer's ones. It's not good. The sauce is bad, but I'll eat it. It's like pizza, except for when people put, like, olives or weird stuff in it.
Brett
Throw some more cheese on that stove.
Brady
Keep it basic.
E
Who's got a good frozen one? Is the nobody. John Hansen's meat.
Brady
Do they?
E
They have one. It's.
Brett
Get the sauce homemade and they freeze it.
E
Yeah.
Brady
Okay, well, that's different. They freeze it after they do the noodles. Yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
You'll make a couple of ladders and freeze one.
Brady
Brett, if you break it down like that, they're all homemade. Somebody's out there making those noodles on the line. It isn't like 3D.
John Holmberg
No, I don't want Jose Gonzalez making mine.
Brady
What? What? It's race. Yes.
John Holmberg
It's just like when you go to Teyaki. You don't want Trevor making yours.
Brady
Yeah, but I. But not in a factory. We have to have the Mexicans in there. I'm just saying it has to come from flour. Initially, it's the same thing.
E
A couple of basic fun facts.
Brady
You know, that Barelli or whatever, that those noodles are Tolle. Whatever.
Brett
Yeah, Bertoli.
Brady
Okay. Somebody started those with flour and a rolling pin.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Mama.
Brady
No, I don't know if there's a mom, but if that's the case, what's the.
John Holmberg
Nona made it.
Brett
But the Bertoli mama was like, what, 70 years ago?
Brady
You just don't want it processed through and put in a box. You want it to be straight from you, from mama. You like Mama to the box, so to speak.
Brett
But making this.
E
I mean, the difference between the fresh pastas, yeah, sure, big deal.
Brady
But I'm just saying, if lasagna is in front of you, I. I would If I broke out of Stouffer's right now and put it in my own pan.
John Holmberg
It's that sauce.
Brady
You can't. That's just. All right. Terrible. Covered up a little ragu.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'm having a hype enough day as it is. All right.
Brady
You wouldn't know.
John Holmberg
I'm having a rough enough day already.
Brady
It's your problem, Tony Sirico. Oh, Jesus. It's polly walnuts. It's supposed to be his. Both of us are going through a thing. I got Ryan.
John Holmberg
It's a rough day.
Brady
Poly walnuts. You know what we should do? Should go some lasagna for lunch in honor of polly walnuts.
John Holmberg
All right, what are we gonna.
Brady
Well, I'll go to Safeway and I'll grab one of those people, shove it in the oven for 30 minutes.
E
We'll just mic it.
Brady
Yeah, we'll nuke it real quick. You detail.
Brett
But he's got some lasagna prepped and ready for lunch.
Brady
Your inner Italian could not pass it by and not eat it.
John Holmberg
Just may not like it. But you know, just that stove for stuff.
Brady
Yeah, you take. Do all that. You would do it just to yell at us just to be poly. Oh, my own that. Would you have a mouthful of it.
E
A capitanym is a word that changes its meaning based on whether or not it's capitalized. For example, sue. Name versus Sue.
Brady
Well, the name versus actually suing someone.
E
March versus March.
Brady
Trump versus Trump. We get the one. You don't have to add the other part.
E
Dick.
Brady
Hey, it's true. You don't capitalize the mean one.
E
A new poll looked at the age requirements of various things and found that a majority of Americans would raise the driving age above 16.
Brady
Oh, we don't want 16 year olds driving anymore.
E
52% of Americans say 35 have to be older than 16 to be allowed to drive.
Brett
I'm actually for capping it somewhere around 65, 70.
E
There's the other side of the question they asked.
Brady
I think you have to take a test.
Brett
Yes. Cuz get some members of Lisa's family that.
Brady
Oh, it falls fast. Old people driving, they think they're good and it's. You understand.
Brett
You know what it is? It's reaction time. Like even just having them at the dinner table.
Brady
Yeah.
Brett
If they can't catch a falling fork, they're out. They're not stepping on the brakes.
Brady
Well, that would eliminate a lot of.
Brett
While you.
Brady
I can do it.
Brett
Well, you did it at the wedding, so.
Brady
Well, I dropped the fork there. I didn't realize I was going to have to perform oral sex to pick it up. I can. You can still. You're not gonna catch every drop. Yeah, that's true.
Brett
But you have to have the effort, right?
Brady
Yeah, I'm pretty good at reacting. I could drop stuff. I'd pick them up. I had an aspirin this morning, and it fell out of my hand as it was going to my mouth. And right hand grabbed it before it hit the waist. I'm like, I amazed myself. That's pretty incredible. I'm like, I. That's a good test to drive by, but, yeah, old people think they're fine. There's a brain.
E
Most popular age to cap it was 80.
Brett
Oh, that's way too far.
Brady
I think you start testing about 75.
Brett
I think lower test at 70.
Brady
You think?
Brett
Yeah, because if you're good at 70, you'll pass the test. You'll be all right.
Brady
70, 75. Somewhere in there, maybe. Okay. I don't know. I'll lead in that one. You got to take, like, an annual test.
Brett
Three members of the Lisa's family there. One's. One's almost 70, and the others are in their 70s.
Brady
Yeah. Somebody wants Mama to the Box to be the next big band.
Brett
Mama's Box.
Brady
Mama's Box is for sure a band name. Mama Box.
E
Americans are divided over the drinking age. 47% say it's cool as 21. 41 think you should be younger.
Brady
I've always agreed with the idea that if I can die for my country, I can have a beer. So 8. 18 is a legitimate thing.
John Holmberg
You can die and vote.
Brady
Yeah, if I can make. Yeah, exactly. I should be able to have a beer. Maybe they should have a thing where from 18 to 21, you're only allowed beer. That's not bad. You know, you got, like, a little mark on your.
John Holmberg
Like a beer and wine.
Brady
Yeah, yeah, Beer and wine. And then after that, you can start hitting it hard with us adults.
E
Yeah, they used to. I think my sister was the Last one. At 18, you could drink a 3.2%.
Brett
Is that an Ohio thing or Midwest?
E
But it was definitely Ohio.
Brady
Really?
Brett
We didn't have designations of types of beer in Montana.
Brady
I don't know. I know Albuquerque was a weird one.
Brett
You had different beers.
Brady
Kids just walked around with beers. We had beer. It was. We were the Bad News Bears. Our baseball team had beers in the cooler. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. It's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com if I told you I had an idea for a project and said to you in order to finish the project, We've got about 10 steps to go through and seven or eight of them are time consuming and could ruin the entire thing. Doug Hopkins, he offers you cash for your home as is right now, and that process is over. He doesn't change that price. You get $5,000 guaranteed, your house is sold. Start the process online right now@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins.
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Brady
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Brady
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Brady
Now boarding groups one through seven.
E
So close.
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Brady
Holg's morning sickness. I was 8.
John Holmberg
We live in Albuquerque. I mean, you got to start drinking early.
Brady
I'm not kidd. We had our Eastdale Little League and our guy, Brendan Donnelly, who went pro baseball, he started a massive drug issue in high school because I don't know if he was a massive drug. He was. He admitted to having like done all of it. We would have a cooler of sodas and another cooler of beers and nobody ever blinked. When one of us kids, I didn't drink it because I didn't like taste of beer when I was eight. I don't know a lot of eight year olds that are crushing Olympia kids would have one and nobody said anything. It was great.
E
Usually it's a victory beer every game.
Brady
You got a drink?
E
Yeah.
Brady
You got everybody. One of the teen moms, it was their turn to bring the sodas. So they have a cooler loaded up and there's beers in there for the coaches and stuff. But if a kid took one, no one said anything.
E
The world's most premature baby has defied all medical odds to reach his first birthday.
Brady
Oh, my God. Thriller's got a brother.
E
Nash Kane was born on July 5th last year in Iowa. He was born 133 days early, 21 weeks gestation. He weighed 10 ounces when he was born and was 24 centimeters long.
Brett
Is he all there?
E
No, he is. He's still on tubes for oxygen.
Brady
He probably walks by vitamin C and turns into a herpe.
E
Feeding tubes.
Brady
Sounds great.
E
He's alive.
Brady
Well, what a great first year. Is he?
E
And he's in the Guinness World Record.
John Holmberg
He's gonna look like Kenny Loggins. Up radio. He shows us.
Brady
No one can see what I'm about to do because it's radio. And I'm glad you can't. But like a bug can't write a.
Brett
Check for a sound. Oh, wait.
Brady
Maybe. I just don't think. I don't know. The doctors would have to give me. Oh, he'll be fine. Like I'd have to hear that immediately. He'll be fine. Are you sure? Oh, yeah. No, I mean, he's. He's in there making it right now. He just can't. If he walks by an orange tree in his life, he's going to collapse and turn into a blister.
John Holmberg
You do put him in a little ant farm or something? Just.
Brett
A terrarium.
Brady
He just crawls around in his little ant farm. I don't want to sound cavalier about it, but that's a goof. Start over. I mean, again, go back to that thing. You were only pregnant for 21 weeks. You weren't even, like, attached to the pregnancy yet. It's a tough one, but that thing comes out and it's 10. Your baby's 10 ounces. I'm like, did you squish it? Like, no, we're keeping it. I'm like, what, are you crazy? It's gonna be nothing but bills.
E
They showed a picture of it when it was first born. It was. It looks fake.
Brady
Your insurance isn't going to cover that for very long. That kid is just a nightmare for 10 ounces. That's less than a Coke.
John Holmberg
Oh, man. That's where you put it that way it's like, even.
E
Oh, yeah. The smaller ones, I think, are eight.
Brady
Oh. Maybe it's about the size of one of those mini Cokes.
E
Mini Coke.
Brady
Whoops. Doctor. Be doing you. Saving you a ton of money. Bill after bill after bill. Is he still alive? Yep.
E
There's an investigation going on for the California Department of Transportation. There's an on duty retirement party that they're having. Evidently involved some alcohol, a stripper and the guy that they're celebrating retirement. They had a little too much fun. The big issue is they're using taxpayer dollars to celebrate this. And it got a little out of hand. Ten employees have already been terminated and they're investigating to see who else was partaking.
Brady
Yeah, not good.
E
Twelve Employees have been put on le.
Brady
That's a lot.
E
The siren's curse is the newest thrill ride at the Cedar Point in Ohio. The Cedar Point amusement Park.
Brady
He paid to say this eight times.
John Holmberg
Camera Commerce has already stumbled over it.
Brady
He thought he stumbled around.
E
The ride is the first so called tilt coaster.
Brady
We're in the middle of his commercial. Everybody calm down.
E
In the United States, it's featuring a section of track that disconnects from its starting position, turns 90 degrees and attaches to a steep decline in the track. Well, it's stranded riders for the fourth time this month.
Brady
It's like a train thing when it moves to another track.
Brett
What's it called? I'm gonna get a video.
E
Siren's curse.
Brady
It's because you're going to some bush league fun.
E
People got off. No injuries, shot fired.
Brady
Yep. Bush leagues go to Disneyland. That's. That's. That's the only one.
E
Amazing is they get off the ride. They get them off. Crank it back up.
Brady
Oh, yeah. They're going to fire it back up. Those rubes will get back on. They're at discount Disney. We spent $35 to get into discount Disney.
E
Would you get on the coaster?
Brett
No, after it.
Brady
You wouldn't.
Brett
You don't like coaster.
John Holmberg
I don't like coasters, but especially after it's been malfunctioned.
Brady
I got off of it after it broke and I'm like, you know, nobody got hurt. It just.
E
No, no, no injuries.
Brady
I go.
Brett
Just stranded him.
Brady
So this is the roller coaster.
E
Nice walkway on the side.
Brady
You got to get off. Yeah, you pop right off. They're still right there.
E
Right here. Man, that's a big drop right there.
Brady
It is a big drop. So it stops and turns.
Brett
Oh, this is where it disconnects right here.
E
Guess so.
Brett
Then post a video on our Facebook.
Brady
It's very colorful. Fun park. Brady, you're.
E
Oh, it's pretty cool. It's on the lake.
Brady
Ohio, though. Oh, that is kind of neat. So it disconnects and points you straight down.
E
That's neat.
Brady
Okay. That's really cool. And it just stops right there. And people cried about it.
E
Then release.
Brady
Yeah, that's. It's. Nobody got hurt. Oh, that's pretty awesome. All right. That's good old fashioned fun right there.
Brett
I take it back. Your second rate.
Brady
No, Disney should have that. Put it in a good fun part.
E
If you're in the coaster. Cedar Point's a good one.
Brady
Is it?
E
Yeah.
Brady
Like I only want to do one of the two.
E
Foul raven.
Brett
Well, you go to Disney you can only do two a day.
Brady
Yeah, that one is. Yeah, it's true. But at least I get to see Mickey and Goofy and characters I recognize. Huckleberry Hound coming up to me.
Brett
Barney, what is it?
E
You got Skyline Chili there.
John Holmberg
Good man.
E
The Peanuts gang there at the.
Brady
Oh, the Peanuts are there. Except for Snoopy. They didn't pay extra for Snoopy, so they got, like, Charles the dog. It's Charlie Brown. Schroeder. Yeah, they just put a Charlie Brown. Woodstock and Snoopy put ears on Charlie Brown. That's Charles the dog. It's his other dog. They still doing the Peanuts? Because that was Knott's Berry Farm for a while, wasn't it? That they had Peanuts characters. Yeah.
E
And the other one, like Kings island and all the Old Dominion. They were Hannah Barbera.
Brady
They lost all that, though, didn't they? Didn't Disney scoop up all the good ones? Now you've got, like, Chilly Willy wandering around, pissing kids off. What the hell are you? I'm a cold penguin.
Brett
Is that a Fritz Freeling?
Brady
I don't know. It was popular years ago.
John Holmberg
You take Snaggle Puss walking down the door.
Brady
The guy in the suit, you actually hear him say babe?
E
Yeah.
Brady
Who are you? Look, kid, if your parents love you, they're taking a Disneyland deal with it. You're getting a picture with Chili Willy. I'm the mauve panther. Mauve panther. That's not a thing. It is, too. Put your arm around there. Taking a picture. Little prick.
Brett
No one mob is.
Brady
He doesn't. They can't say pink. They're not allowed. I'm the mauve wildcat.
E
We've got a complaint on Pete Puma.
Brady
Yeah, it's like, hi, I'm Scrappy Do.
John Holmberg
Oh, that'd be the worst.
Brady
I'd kick that one. Yeah.
E
I got a dude in Florida named Jason Hughes. He's been arrested after he assaulted a golfer on a golf course because playing too slow.
John Holmberg
Brady heard about the hockey player a.
E
Couple weeks ago, put that guy in the lake. Well, Jason told this guy several times to pick up the pace, and then he lost it when he saw the other man talking to his friend while ahead up on the green, just chatting.
Brady
Away, killing everybody's day.
E
He approached the guy, attacked him repeatedly, punched him in the face. The player's partner separated them and the attacker and his partner. Partner sped off in their golf cart before the police arrived.
Brady
Sped? We going 8, 15 max. If they got the governor off.
E
The victim was hospitalized and treated for broken bone beneath his eye socket.
Brady
Yikes.
Brett
Good one.
E
Got stitches on his cheek.
Brady
We landed it.
E
Jason was tracked down a charter with aggravated battery causing bodily harm.
Brady
By the way, listener Matt Wolf has come up with an absolute great silver lining moment for the premature baby who I've nicknamed Squash.
John Holmberg
Oh, man.
Brady
Do the. I like my nickname. Sorry, that's just who I am. Deal with it. I'll write you a check too. It says silver lining of the preemie is we need to test that mother who had that 21 week old baby and made it live. And make all other mothers do the same because then they're not pushing out a bowling ball. The vagina stays intact. 10 ounces, I can poop that. Nothing changes. He makes a great point, ladies. Birthing becomes easier if you can make a 10 ouncer live. Scott Haynes, our smallest listener, full nine months. Came out six ounces. The guy's barely even 12 ounces now.
Brett
Is that confirmed?
Brady
I think he weighs a pound and a half as it is.
E
You mentioned pooping, John.
Brady
I did.
E
Someone reached out on the Internet talking about squash.
Brady
Brady brings up poop.
E
I said, what's the most creative way to say you have to poop?
Brady
Well, I mean, it's not appropriate now. The dropping the Cosby kids off the lake is right.
E
I need to go log out.
Brady
That was an 80s reference. I think it's just top of mind. But it's not right to do too soon right now to bring that one home. It's also too late. It's too late for the reference. But that's the thing. It was very creative at the time. I remember kids said that. And I'm gonna go drop some Cosby kids off at the lake. And I'm like, that's hilarious. Is it now? Not as much, but still. The browns. Someone dropped the browns off at the Super Bowl.
Brett
Yep, that's the one.
E
I. I have to separate the art from the artist. Yeah, I have to visit the oval office.
Brady
It's not that funny.
E
Harboring a fugitive.
Brady
Harboring a few.
E
That was the first day when it happened. Someone said we can't use that anymore. That phrase.
Brady
I gotta get Andy Dufresne out of the sewer.
Brett
Oh.
E
I'm going to knit a brown sweater.
Brady
Ew. It doesn't even make sense.
Brett
That's a breed.
E
My food just submitted its resignation letter.
Brady
All right, everybody who says this looks a little like Brady and they're at a dinner table with their hand on their belly. Time to go get my food. Done.
E
Gonna have to lose some weight.
Brady
Submitted a resurrection letter. Ahaha. Don Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. Brady's. Most clever one I've ever heard was, is there anyone in the ladies room? And then just uses that instead. You were.
Brett
You were breaching cotton that bad?
Brady
Oh, ladies room. He ran to the men's room, and there was someone in it. And just I saw his head turn to the door to the right, look back at the rest of Spinatas. He literally looked over his shoulder at Spinato's patrons and then just darted into the ladies room. About four minutes later, he comes down the table. It was, like, straight into the. Like, the eye line was down the hall, and there was a door. To the right was the ladies room. Door to the left was the men's room. Men's room. Locked. Ladies room. And four minutes later, he comes out, and there's a lady standing outside. In her face like somebody hit her.
John Holmberg
Well, something hit her.
Brady
Oh, it hit her. It's the ladies room. Sorry. Sometimes you can't help it.
E
I just clean it up.
John Holmberg
I've got a couple of. I figured he'd turn into David Banner.
Brady
Right before you wouldn't like me when I put him. Came right back down and grabbed that very same pizza that did it to him and put another bite in his mouth.
Brett
We made room.
Brady
What? Like that? Just. You almost died a second ago.
E
Purge and eat.
Brady
It's gone now. Yeah, but I think it poisoned you. Pizza would never do that to me. Gotta go drop those Cosby kids off. Don't say that anymore.
E
Got a couple of pretty videos. First one's a kind of a hot chick fight.
Brady
Browns at the Super Bowl's a solid one.
Brett
It's a solid one. They're either they're Cowboys fans or this is just in Dallas because there's Dallas banners all over.
Brady
Huh? Oh, they're just fighting out in the parking lot. Wow. Oh, they are kind of good.
John Holmberg
Oh, man.
E
Nice.
Brady
It's a good skirt fight. Oh, she's small, got her hair, jabs.
E
To the head, threw her face down.
Brady
Oh, my God. Is this prom? Where are all these hot girls coming from? Everybody's in a great, like, prom.
Brett
The girl in the green is throwing people.
Brady
Girl in the red skirt is hot, and they're in there. They kept their heels on. They're all kind of hot. White girls and she's outstanding outfits.
Brett
Got a great ring.
Brady
Kick one of them in the face. Oh. Then she takes a shot to the melon from a rogue girl in a hot skirt.
Brett
Green girl is not taking anything.
Brady
Oh, No, I like this. The red one's the good one.
E
Green Goblin.
Brady
What happened? It just starts with a shoe throw and then it is on. I don't want to listen to Sonic the Hedgehog. Second round music from the first game down in the fires in that French pit. Oh, man. And then they just wail on each other. The girl in the hot red lingerie comes out. She gets thrown to the ground. She's in heels, keeps her stuff together. The other ones have taken their shoes off. The one in red's a professional. That's a great looking group. That'll be like a.
Brett
Look at this right here.
John Holmberg
Yeah, the green ones.
Brett
Nice.
Brady
She kicked her right in the. Well, I was. I thought it was a face. It hit her in the shoulder. But the girl in the grain. And she's packing some ass. She's got a little weight behind that. This is an outstanding girl fight. A lot of good blows thrown. The outfits are out. Amazing. It's like lingerie football.
E
I think they're in front of a lingerie shop.
Brady
It must have been a sale. First girl in.
E
Next one's a bike race. Someone said, who ordered the pizza? Because there's a guy stopped in the middle. Looks like a bike delivery.
Brady
A bunch of dudes riding a peloton. It's a hundreds of bikes. And there's a dude on a bike just with pizza all around him. Oh, no. Oh, they all smashed into the dude with the pizza. What is happening? Yeah, tell me that's AI. Nobody would have allowed that. I don't know.
E
I kept. I looked at it a couple of times.
Brady
Why did they start that the race? It was 25ft from the starting line.
John Holmberg
There's no way they would let a race start with some.
Brady
No way the bikers would keep going. Yeah, they just say, stop. There's a dude in a moped sitting in the middle of the train. And then hundreds of bikes into his ass. That's AI. This wouldn't have. This wouldn't have happened. It is good. It is good.
John Holmberg
But there's no way they would start the race.
Brady
You can see him from the starting line. Somebody get that guy off the track. A pizza man. Come on. Hundreds of bikes mashing into him. Somebody said, I was there when this happened. Absolute mayhem. Well, if it did happen.
E
Yeah, it's real, man.
Brady
All right.
Brett
Oh, you're gonna love this one, Brett.
E
Yeah. This is for you, Brad.
Brady
It's a two year old on a fun trapeze thing at one of those kitty fun parks. And she's just hanging on the trapeze. She swung back and missed the. Missed the landing zone. What a parent. The mat and the starting point. Oh, she slid in. She's in hell. She went into the second dimension. She's in a new world.
Brett
She's in the upside down.
Brady
She's in the upside down. You're never getting her back. She's down there where squash should be.
John Holmberg
No, his mom didn't do anything like. Yeah, well.
Brady
God, I got another one. She slid between the starting barrier and the mat. She's supposed to be caught on.
E
Yeah, you're right, though. Mom didn't have much of a reaction.
John Holmberg
No, Mom's just, like, got another one home.
Brady
Mom's big.
E
Matt's gonna catch her.
Brady
Well.
E
Oh, well, that didn't.
Brady
Well, Mom's perspective is that that little skinny isn't gonna slide through anything. And a mom is like, put some weight on. This had never happened to your mother. Look at me.
E
A little summer vacation. All right, this guy's gonna have a tough town.
Brady
He jumps off the back of a boat onto another boat. Oh. Onto a wave runner. He's thinking he's jumping into water, and he lands directly on a wave runner. He didn't see because he just started to run off the boat. Oh, that's bad. Oof. He's gonna wheel himself into his first day at sophomore year. Wow, that's a tough one. All right, you good, Brett? You ready? All right, knock it, stiff.
John Holmberg
Well, don't forget, yesterday was our Monday Friday, so it's not gonna be as.
Brady
Today's just a Tuesday. Yes, yes.
John Holmberg
So we'll just start off with this one.
Brady
We're in a. Got a dash cam in a cruddy country. Oh, there's just an explosion in a building. Yeah. Oh, it was a missile. I didn't see the rocket.
E
There it is.
Brady
Oh, man. Look at the size of that missile. And it takes out a specific building. Do we have sound on that, Brett?
E
No, that was fourth of July.
Brady
Oh, my God. That is a monster missile. I think. Flies to the sky. Where was that? Ukraine missile.
Brett
Places.
Brady
Yeah, places where missiles are. Okay. All right. A guy standing outside, he's gonna fight Kim karns from the 80s. He whips out a big dong, and he spins around, hits her in the face with. It's a porno, and I've never seen like it. It'll be around a roundhouse dick. Not a roundhouse kid.
John Holmberg
They teach you that at Taffic Black?
Brady
No, they teach you how to defend it. Open your mouth. You'll subdue your Attacker, he has a wiener big enough that he can do a roundhouse spin and hit a girl in the face with.
Brett
Was a squash.
Brady
Huh?
Brett
It's the size of a squash.
Brady
Squash isn't as big as that guy's penis. No, that dude. That was more than 10 ounces.
John Holmberg
That's what I.
Brady
That's me. The guy was probably wondering how I ended up in this situation rolling around with his pants.
Brett
Is that Bob Ray?
Brady
That's Brady's neighbor Bob Ray. Oh, he had a tire next to him. The tire fell down, grabbed his shorts, pulled him all the way down, and he's just rolling around on the ground trying to pull his pants back up. That is. That is hard to do, have a tire pull your pants down. But when you see the video, it makes sense. I don't.
John Holmberg
I don't know about this one.
Brady
All right. Oh, boy. All right. Some guy's got his penis and chains in a contraption, is smacking him with a paddle on his balls while the lady rubs it. It's hitting him in the nuts. That noise you're hearing is a principal's paddle and elementary school hitting a guy in a teepee. He's got a piece of tape over everything. Guard. I don't know what that was.
John Holmberg
I don't either.
Brady
That had no finish, man. Here we go.
E
How many people are doing that this morning?
Brady
Oh, at least 10. Say at least 10. All right, here's a lady sitting on a chair with no bottom, and I believe she's about to poop. Yep, that was right. I'm getting used to these. You can see her butthole, which looks broken, by the way. Oh, it smells. All right. Oh, God. Oh, here's the picture of this. Oh, my hole is torn.
E
Is that on a plate?
Brady
And now they've superimposed. Timeout. What was the last one?
E
Oh, my God.
Brady
Oh, there's just. They've super. All right. They superimposed mentally challenged people saying smelly things. Heat again next to her. You know what that's from. This is sad that I know that. That last one, the cauliflower. Yeah, that's a. They're doing speech therapy for people with head trauma. They made them say cauliflower back way up.
Brett
How do you know?
Brady
I watched a whole thing about it on the Internet. I like. It was great. Because it's mentally challenged people trying to say words. That's comedy. And so they're like, say broccoli and it reminds, because when I was a child, they had a kid who had a tongue sticking out of his mouth about 8 inches. And the one word that they tried to get him to say to strengthen his tongue before they did the surgery to cut it out was lolly. So for 30 minutes.
Brett
Did you say lolly all the time?
Brady
No, I don't say lolly all the time, my friend. All the time. You hear me? I'm the lolly guy around the building. No, the. We know now. That all makes sense. But my friend John Stevens and I laughed for 40 minutes because the whole show was on PBS. And this kid with a tongue that was dried up. You know how Chihuahua's tongue stick out and they dry up? This kid had that. He was like 10.
E
Like that ugliest dog.
Brady
Yeah. But they had to. And he was worse. I'd take the dog. This is a squash. But his tongue from the outer and down didn't work. And then he would have to say lolly over and over to strengthen the part of his tongue that they were gonna keep. And it was about 10 minutes of him doing this in therapy. And they're like, that's good. And John Stevens and I cried for half an hour because they wouldn't make it stop. So I. I'm addicted to that. When I see mentally challenged people working on speech. That last guy. And I think they even had the part of it where the ladies like. Can you say that again? Cauliflower. Cauliflower. It'll. You'll. Look, you can't help it now. And it's not even Brady's over. You can't help it.
John Holmberg
All right, we'll end with this one. Your finest champagne.
Brady
Oh, it's got champagne in a woman. Okay. Champagne. There's a champagne glass in her guns. Glass. Yeah, that's right in her honeyhole. And they're using it as some sort of a fun object. And now she's taking that out. And I believe she's gonna make champagne. She sure did. And the other one's gonna drink it. The other one's gonna drink it. Brace yourselves. The other one's gonna drink that poor. What is she putting in it? Was that. And then we get a little. What is that? What does she put in there? It's a tampon, too, to absorb it up. Now she's gonna ring it out right onto her face. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wilson. This isn't real.
E
Is that Tom Hanks from Castro?
Brady
That's right. When he's drinking out of the coconut for the first time. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She drinks it. It's just. Why is the tampon. Oh, My God. And that lady just recently had a C section. What's with the belly? I think she gave birth to squash. Oh, my God, Brett.
John Holmberg
All right, there you go.
Brady
That ain't normal.
John Holmberg
They walk amongst us.
E
Doors open.
Brady
Yeah, that's enough.
E
Someone's walking down the steps. It's Susan. And all she hears is, why is the tampon?
Brady
Well, hey, that's a good question. That's a good start to anything if you've got a tampon that's gone rogue. The first thing most a normal person like, why is there a tampon? Doesn't matter what the next words are, but why is there a tampon where it shouldn't be? Is a great question. All right, that's enough. We're done. Woof. That one hurt. That one hurt. There goes your Brady report. We're sorry. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
John Holmberg
It's Brett and John for Action Ride Shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa.
Brady
The new location is your East Valley full line bike shop with brands Pivot, Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain, Giant, Norco. And of course, Action Ride Shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus being so close to the Hawes trailhead, they have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and E bikes.
John Holmberg
Action Ride shop now with two locations. The brand new Shop of Power in McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out at actionrideshop.com.
Detailed Summary of Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Podcast Episode (July 29, 2025)
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
The episode begins with the hosts acknowledging that it's National Lasagna Day, sparking a spirited discussion about lasagna-making traditions. John Holmberg shares his personal approach, saying, “[05:16] I make my own ravioli at Christmas” (05:16). Brady Bogen expresses skepticism about homemade lasagna, questioning the time investment: “[06:05] I can't imagine making lasagna noodles. How long does that take? A day? Two days?” (06:05).
Bret Vesely supports the idea of homemade preparations, highlighting the effort involved: “[07:34] Get the sauce homemade and they freeze it” (07:34). The conversation underscores a blend of appreciation for homemade delicacies and the practicality of store-bought options. The hosts humorously debate the messiness and challenges of preparing lasagna from scratch, culminating in Brady’s light-hearted remark: “[07:53] Your house looks like a Chinese laundry” (07:53).
Transitioning to a more serious topic, Dick Toledo introduces a recent poll indicating that a majority of Americans favor raising the driving age above 16: “[10:02] A new poll looked at the age requirements of various things and found that a majority of Americans would raise the driving age above 16” (10:02). The hosts dive into a debate on the implications of this statistic.
Brady voices concern over younger drivers: “[10:34] Oh, we don't want 16 year olds driving anymore” (10:34), while Bret suggests evaluating drivers based on capability rather than age alone: “[10:44] I'm actually for capping it somewhere around 65, 70” (10:44). The discussion touches on factors like reaction times and safety, with Bret illustrating the point humorously: “[11:03] If they can't catch a falling fork, they're out” (11:03).
The hosts agree on the importance of periodic assessments to ensure driver competence, with Brady adding: “[11:20] I had an aspirin this morning, and it fell out of my hand as it was going to my mouth” (11:20), emphasizing the need for practical tests over strict age limits.
A significant and heartwarming segment covers the story of Nash Kane, the world's most premature baby, turning one month old. Dick Toledo shares the news: “[15:27] Nash Kane was born on July 5th last year in Iowa” (15:27). The hosts react with a mix of amazement and humor, showcasing their trademark irreverence.
Brady quips, “[15:57] Sounds great. He's alive,” (15:57) while John Holmberg emphasizes the medical achievement: “[16:02] He's alive” (16:02). Despite the light-hearted approach, the segment acknowledges the incredible medical advancements that allowed Nash to survive a challenging start, blending empathy with the hosts' unique comedic style.
Aligning with the episode's title, the hosts explore creative euphemisms for needing to use the restroom. Dick Toledo initiates the topic: “[24:37] I have to go log out” (24:37), prompting a flurry of inventive phrases. Brady reminisces about outdated expressions: “[25:00] I gotta get Andy Dufresne out of the sewer” (25:00), referencing cultural icons to illustrate their points.
The discussion moves through various humorous and sometimes controversial phrases, reflecting on the appropriateness and evolution of language. For example, Brady humorously refers to old sayings: “[25:43] Who are you? Look, kid, if your parents love you, they're taking a Disneyland deal with it” (22:24).
The segment is filled with playful banter and laughter, demonstrating the hosts' ability to find humor in everyday situations while engaging listeners with relatable content.
Throughout the episode, the hosts engage with listener feedback and share amusing anecdotes:
Amusement Park Mishaps: The discussion about Cedar Point's new ride, "Siren's Curse," includes humorous takes on ride malfunctions. Brady remarks, “[19:31] But at least I get to see Mickey and Goofy and characters I recognize” (21:07), blending amusement with light criticism of ride safety.
California Department of Transportation Incident: The hosts comment on an investigation involving a retirement party gone wrong, with Brady noting, “[18:35] That's a lot” (18:35), highlighting the seriousness of misusing taxpayer funds with a touch of humor.
Premature Baby Silver Lining: Brady shares a listener's perspective on the premature baby, adding his humorous twist: “[23:53] Do the… I like my nickname. Sorry, that's just who I am” (23:53).
The episode is rich with the hosts' signature humor and playful teasing:
Brady jokes about eliminating lasagna, saying, “[07:46] I don't know who this fake guy is you created Brady, but I hate him” (04:46), showcasing the light-hearted rivalry among the hosts.
In discussing creative poop-related phrases, Brady humorously links them to pop culture references: “[25:00] I gotta get Andy Dufresne out of the sewer” (25:00).
The segment on listener-submitted videos features Brady's comedic interpretation of various mishaps, such as, “[32:31] A guy standing outside, he's gonna fight Kim Karns from the 80s” (32:31), blending slapstick humor with pop culture references.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness episode from July 29, 2025, delivers a dynamic mix of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions. Covering topics from National Lasagna Day to raising the driving age, and celebrating a world record premature baby, the hosts maintain an engaging and entertaining atmosphere. Their ability to blend humor with relevant social issues ensures that both regular listeners and newcomers find the content enjoyable and relatable.
Notable quotes and timestamps are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, providing depth and context while highlighting the hosts' unique personalities. The episode exemplifies the show's commitment to entertaining, questioning, and sometimes disturbing listeners, as described in the podcast's overview.
For more episodes and content, tune in to Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM or visit www.98kupd.com.