07-30-25 - BR - WED - Listeners Coming Up w/WNBA Marketing Ideas - Fun Facts On Evel Knievel And More - Poll Of Popular Pet Names Reveals Brady's Winky Nickname - Giant Tarantula Migration Underway

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: July 30, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: July 30, 2025

---

1. WNBA Marketing Ideas: The "Green Dildo" Campaign

[01:08 - 04:25]

The episode kicks off with an engaging and humorous brainstorming session about innovative marketing strategies for the Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA). The team delves into the concept of using unconventional items to capture audience attention, particularly focusing on a "green dildo" themed promotion.

• Caitlin:
  "The WNBA needs to jump on this green dildo thing. My emails are exploding with green dildo. Like this is the most attention they've ever gotten."
  [01:30]

• Eli:
  "You definitely want to wrap it in a T-shirt for a softer landing."
  [02:06]

The hosts discuss wrapping the promotional items in T-shirts to make the giveaway both fun and compliant with league rules. They propose offering prizes such as an annual WNBA player salary of up to $7,500 for fans who successfully catch the "green fairy" T-shirts during games.

• Caitlin:
  "If your T-shirt has a dick in it and you unwrap, then it's the prize. Then you get an annual salary of a WNBA player, which is upwards of $7,500. That's pretty amazing."
  [02:14]

The conversation evolves into playful banter about incorporating elements like free hot dogs with the promotional items and tying the campaign into LGBTQ+ events, highlighting their creative and irreverent approach to marketing.

2. Fun Facts on Evel Knievel

[06:10 - 07:16]

The hosts shift gears to share intriguing and lesser-known facts about Evel Knievel, the legendary stunt performer.

• Eli:
  "Evel Knievel was fired from his mining job after high school for attempting a motorcycle type wheelie and a large earth mover. In the process, he accidentally hit the main power line for Butte, Montana, causing a citywide power outage."
  [06:10]

• Brett:
  "That was a field trip we took in school. We got to go see Butte. Evel Knievel's house."
  [06:29]

They reminisce about a school field trip to Evel Knievel's house in Butte, Montana, emphasizing the lasting impact of Knievel's legacy on their childhood memories.

3. Poll of Popular Pet Names Reveals Brady's "Winky" Nickname

[09:25 - 13:53]

A discussion ensues about a recent poll involving 25,000 Americans and their preferred pet names for their partners. The poll reveals that traditional pet names like "Honey" and "Babe" are declining in popularity.

• Eli:
  "Honey is still popular, but trending down. Sweetheart was number four. Love is number five."
  [09:34]

• Caitlin:
  "Do you guys do it, Honey? You do it, darling. Honey, sweetheart, sticky biscuit. Do you call her? Do you have a name? No, I don't. You don't call her like baby butts? Honey? No, no, nothing."
  [09:54]

The conversation takes a personal turn as Brady is teased about his unique nickname, "Baby Winky," leading to lighthearted teasing and camaraderie among the hosts.

• Caitlin:
  "Can you imagine if someone called you 'Baby Winky'? That's hilarious."
  [10:45]

This segment highlights the hosts' playful dynamics and personal anecdotes related to the topic of pet names.

4. Tarantula Migration Underway in the Southwest

[18:00 - 25:12]

The hosts delve into an alarming natural phenomenon: the massive migration of tarantulas across the Southwest United States. This segment provides listeners with both factual information and humorous takes on dealing with the influx of these large arachnids.

• Eli:
  "We have 29 described individual species of tarantulas in the United States. Arizona has a brown transfer tarantula and another one with a red belly."
  [19:11]

• Caitlin:
  "If you wake up with a tarantula in your bed, I'm gonna take the biggest I've ever taken in my life. You want to talk about hemorrhoids? Ain't got nothing on me."
  [21:17]

The discussion covers identification of tarantula species, their behavior during mating season, and personal strategies for handling unexpected encounters, blending biological insights with the hosts' signature humor.

5. The Closing of Phoenix's Last Sizzler

[28:37 - 29:51]

In a poignant segment, the hosts mourn the closure of Phoenix’s last Sizzler restaurant, reflecting on its significance in the community and sharing nostalgic memories.

• Eli:
  "Sad, sad day in Phoenix yesterday. The last Sizzler closed."
  [28:37]

• Caitlin:
  "John Gordon won't have anywhere to take his lady."
  [28:45]

They recount notable locations of former Sizzler restaurants and lament the loss of a beloved local establishment, underscoring the emotional connection listeners may have with such community staples.

6. Miscellaneous Discussions and Listener Interactions

[30:43 - 41:51]

The latter part of the episode is a mix of current events, listener interactions, and light-hearted banter:

• Cryptocurrency Scam:

  • Eli:
    "A pastor from Denver named Eli Religallo and his wife Caitlin have been accused of running a cryptocurrency scam, soliciting $3.4 million for Index Coin, which has zero value. Investors lost all their money, and the couple used most of the funds for personal expenses."
    [29:51]

• Alien Footage in Compton:

  • Eli:
    "A woman in Compton shared a video allegedly capturing an alien, but many believe it's just a rabbit misidentified on camera."
    [31:48]

• Wild America Segment:
  The hosts react to various Wild America clips, including encounters with wildlife and extreme scenarios, infusing their trademark humor and skepticism.

• Flipper the Dog:

  • Caitlin:
    "Flipper just wandering on his own... He's doing Desert Ridge, I think, on the weekends."
    [41:02]

Throughout these segments, the hosts maintain a lively and humorous tone, engaging listeners with a variety of topics ranging from scams to alleged alien sightings.

Notable Quotes

• Caitlin on WNBA Marketing:
  "Make lemonade. WNBA. Have some fun with this."
  [03:09]

• Eli on Tarantula Handling:
  "If you think about hiking or camping in the Southwest right now, in our area... It's the Southwest Tarantulas."
  [18:01]

• Caitlin on Pet Names:
  "Pet names are the worst. Do you guys do it, Honey?"
  [09:54]

• Brady's "Winky" Nickname Tease:
  "You're up to something. What was it?"
  [13:12]

---

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of creative marketing discussions, fascinating trivia, relatable personal anecdotes, and humorous takes on current events. The hosts' chemistry and engaging dialogue ensure that listeners are entertained while being informed on a variety of topics. Whether brainstorming wild marketing ideas for the WNBA or sharing fun facts about Evel Knievel, the show maintains its reputation as Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show by balancing humor with insightful conversations.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

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[Caitlin]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? PD all right, there you go. It's a little Vol beat for you. Cruising right through. That's post concert psyching rock my friends coming in after the fact. Not a bad thing. People are just the WNBA needs to jump on this green dildo thing. This My emails are exploding with green dildo. Like this is the most attention they've ever gotten. Caitlin Clark be damned. Their best player is that guy 30 rows back that just dropped that bomb on him. Again, I don't encourage this, but make lemonade. Wnba. Have some fun with this. Have a. You know that thing that shoots T shirts. One lucky fan catches the green fairy and they win like $5,000.

[Eli]

You definitely want to wrap it in a T shirt for softer landing.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Caitlin]

Yeah. You definitely. If you're okay if your T shirt.

[Eli]

Has one out there.

[Caitlin]

Oh yeah. But if your T shirt has a dick in it and you unwrap, then it's the prize. Then you get an annual salary of a WNBA player, which is upwards of 7, $500. That's pretty amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Or used out.

[Caitlin]

Yeah, that's not. That's not bad. Brett. A used Outbacker. $7,000. Your choice. But you got to catch it and if you drop it, it's out. It's like a Savannah Bananas.

[John Holmberg]

Subaru needs to be all over this.

[Eli]

You should do a bunch of them. Yes, just a bunch of little ones and then you can redeem it at the concessions for a glizzy.

[Caitlin]

Hey, not a bad idea. Get a free hot dog with every green fairy that you catch. Yeah. And we can do it and still honor what they're for. It can be LBTQ night, and we're focused in on the tea. So a bunch of dismembered cranks are flight. You know, like, we got rid of these dicks. Let's celebrate. We don't have our dicks anymore, and they shoot those all over. They're just not smart marketers. They're gonna get mad about this.

[Eli]

We used to fire out hot dogs.

[Caitlin]

Yeah, well, you'd shoot those hot dogs in the silver packages taped up. Yeah, I've been on the other end of that. I didn't catch one. Had one bounce off me, and the dude behind me got it and he ate it. I've had the steaming hot wiener fly at me from the court.

[John Holmberg]

Careful.

[Caitlin]

It's true. WNBA is going to get all mad. We already have rules not to throw things on the court, so it doesn't really matter what the thing is that's thrown. But the fact that this got you so much, if somebody threw a quarter, no one would be paying attention. But because it was a big green wiener, the WNBA's got to go. All right. This is the most attention we've gotten in a long time. We don't want to encourage throwing stuff out there. Let's have fun with this. Make some lemonade. We'll shoot the wieners back at the crowd. You want to throw wieners at us? We'll throw them back at you. So green wiener night, maybe? Hot dogs, Brady. They're wrapped up in green foil. Then you shoot them at the crowd.

[Eli]

Throw a logo on it.

[Caitlin]

You don't throw wieners at us. We throw wieners at you. Hilarious. But it would cost them too much money. And then April Reese would be like, Angel Reese. They shooting out $7,000 worth of hot dogs every night. You all make $7,000 in a week. I make that in seven days. Actual quote. Actual Angel Reese quote. You make seven. Fourteen. She said fourteen.

[John Holmberg]

Fourteen hundred.

[Caitlin]

You make fourteen hundred dollars in a week. I make fourteen hundred in seven days. Take that, Angel Reese. She's going to take over at the fed soon. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by friends at all Pro Shade Concepts. They're Arizona's best patio shades. Putting in a call today, Brady. I mapped out. I mapped out my measurements My plan. I got something. Oh, I got something. It's going to be cool. I'm building myself a little shady spot there at my tee box. No, it's going to be so neat. I can't wait. And I'm getting the best in the business to come. Do it. 20 years of shade means two decades of quality, custom installed patio shades, awnings and sunscreens. That, my friends, is where it's at. And if you guys need some shade like I do, there's only one place to go. Brady already did it. His place looks amazing. The best quality product you can imagine. All pro shade dot com. That's where you go to get yourself some shade. Be cool this summer. Allproched.com Brady report it.

[Eli]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Caitlin]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Eli]

Happy National Cheesecake Day. National Father in Law Day.

[Caitlin]

Focker in law.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Caitlin]

This Thanksgiving.

[Eli]

You'Re gonna finish it in three weeks.

[Caitlin]

Magically. And kind of ironically. Remember the good. The big joke about how milking a cat. How he could get milk from a cat.

[Brett]

I have nipples, Greg.

[Caitlin]

25 years later, we realized they've been. They're gonna suck the milk out of this premise, too. And they were gonna milk this thing like they're milking a cat. Nipple. Could you milk me? Could you milk me, Greg? No, but I can milk a movie franchise for 30 years. And one joke. Focker in Law is real. It will be happening in Thanksgiving.

[Eli]

Couple of basis fun facts. Evel Knievel was fired from his mining job after high school for attempting a motorcycle type wheelie and a large earth mover. In the process, he accidentally hit the main power line for Butte, Montana, causing citywide power outage.

[Brett]

That was a field trip we took in school. We got to go see Butte. Evil Knievel's house.

[Caitlin]

What?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Caitlin]

Cool. Did you get to go in it?

[Brett]

No, just.

[Caitlin]

Just drive by?

[Brett]

Yeah, just the property.

[Caitlin]

So much like your dad. It was occasional drive by of a house the guy was in.

[Eli]

Was that original one or was it a gigantic spread?

[Brett]

It wasn't gigantic, but it was. It was a compound. Pride of Butte.

[Caitlin]

No kidding. And the whole school just got in.

[Brett]

A bus, went to Butte, which is.

[Caitlin]

90 miles away, drove by his house and went home.

[Brett]

No, we were there. We also went to the mining.

[Caitlin]

It was a museum. They just pointed it out along the way.

[Brett]

They made a big deal of it. Well, yeah, for us kids it was huge because half of us had that toy.

[Caitlin]

It's the best thing in Montana ever.

[Brett]

The wheelie motorcycle.

[Eli]

Never pulled a wheelie Florida is the flat flattest state in the us. Kansas has the reputation of being the flattest state, but it came in seventh. English is the most common language used on webs, on websites by far. It currently is around 49%. Spanish is second 6%.

[Caitlin]

No kidding. Because you got to learn to speak English to deal with me, that's for sure. I'm in India today. They're speaking English.

[Eli]

The last some Volkswagen cars in 1959 had coffee makers built into the dashboard.

[Caitlin]

No, kid, that's horribly dangerous. Hot coffee, like a maker. To get a pot of coffee, how much coffee do you need on your drive to work?

[Eli]

It had to been a like just for a cup or something.

[Caitlin]

That was before they had places to stop.

[Eli]

59. When did the Mr. Coffees come out?

[Caitlin]

It was later now because Mr. Coffee was like Joe DiMaggio and he was playing.

[Eli]

Had the stainless steel thing on that.

[Caitlin]

No, they have those hot pad teapots.

[Eli]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like a pot.

[Caitlin]

How much coffee are you serving on the drive to work? Those Germans a new. Heating up everything there for a while. Look at that. There it is.

[Eli]

Yeah. So it's a little mug, but it's a full maker.

[Caitlin]

That's a whole pot of coffee right there with a cup next to it. The mug is the. Is receiving coffee from the thing above it that's holding a couple cups of coffee. That's the spigot 40 watt. Look at that. Piping hot coffee at the ready. That was before they invented like Styrofoam and stuff too. Right. So you just had to have a glass cup like a hot mu. They invented that before they invented anything else for the dashboard.

[Brett]

No AC news, no radio.

[Caitlin]

There's nothing.

[Eli]

A new poll of 25,000Americans looked at the most popular pet names used by couples.

[Caitlin]

By couples.

[Eli]

Yeah. Honey is still popular, but trending down.

[Caitlin]

Pet names for each other. I thought dogs and cats.

[Eli]

No, pet names each other.

[Caitlin]

Sweetie. Sweetheart.

[Eli]

Yeah. Sweetheart was number four. Love is number five. Babies number three.

[Caitlin]

Pet names are the worst. Do you guys do it, Honey?

[Eli]

Number two.

[Caitlin]

You do it, darling. Honey, sweetheart, sticky biscuit. Do you call her? Do you have a name? No, I don't. You don't call her like baby butts? Honey? No, no, nothing. Do you? No, I don't think any of us do. It's so weird.

[Eli]

Babe is number one.

[Caitlin]

Babe is so babe.

[Brett]

We don't even use babe.

[Caitlin]

Babe is such a tribal tattoo every now and then.

[Eli]

Every now I call Ronnie Bay.

[Caitlin]

Bay.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Caitlin]

I only. I only Go with what Willis used to say to Janet Jackson on Different Strokes. You upset with me? I didn't mean to ruffle your feathers, little bird. And that's as far as I'll take that. Try to laugh about when somebody said, I know pet.

[Eli]

You know, if there's pet names, it's for Kirby.

[Caitlin]

I mean, Curbs or Kirby Durbs.

[Eli]

And that's kind of funny because now that she's older.

[Caitlin]

Yeah. It's embarrassing and awful for.

[Eli]

My sister did that to me, being the youngest.

[Caitlin]

Look how you turned out. That's not because you were the youngest.

[Eli]

Just because she. I was so adorable.

[Caitlin]

Right. When you were 20, she thought you were retarded, so she's just trying to make you feel specialer. What did she call you?

[Eli]

Flippity? Floppity? Baby Fifi?

[Caitlin]

Flippy Floppity?

[Eli]

Yeah, she'd come up with these.

[Caitlin]

But why?

[Eli]

Then I was just Flip Flippy.

[Caitlin]

Why?

[Eli]

Because when I was. You know.

[John Holmberg]

Why would he.

[Eli]

And second or third grade. It bothered me, you know? Stop it.

[Caitlin]

But why did she call you that?

[Eli]

To torment me.

[Caitlin]

But why did the. What? What was. Where did it come from?

[John Holmberg]

The origin of the name. I told you.

[Caitlin]

It tormented you. And you didn't know the Winky.

[Eli]

Baby Winky.

[Caitlin]

Why? Where are these names coming from?

[Eli]

I think she just created them.

[Caitlin]

Well, yeah, that's exactly what you did.

[Eli]

The idea, obviously, something. Something you were doing.

[Caitlin]

No, not from you.

[Eli]

No, nothing from me. She just.

[Caitlin]

You were perfect. She just decided to.

[Eli]

I'm gonna call you Baby Winky now.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to take a lap.

[Caitlin]

That's not it. I guarantee you she's got a different answer than that. She didn't get that out of Cosmo.

[Eli]

Tiger Beat.

[Caitlin]

Okay. She read a magazine and called you the name that she saw. Why did it bother you?

[Eli]

Just the fact your sister's calling you these baby names.

[Caitlin]

Another repressed memory, Brady. She was hitting you.

[Eli]

It worked the other way. I started liking it.

[Caitlin]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What's Izzy doing right now exactly?

[Caitlin]

I just. I need to.

[Eli]

Call me with your favorite baby name.

[Caitlin]

Yeah, that's what she's doing. But your sister didn't just out of the blue call you Baby Winky. You did something. Otherwise it wouldn't have made you mad. It's not how the human body works. She reads, sees Baby Winky on TV and calls you Baby Winky. You're not gonna care.

[Eli]

I think she was just chapped and I was the golden child.

[Caitlin]

And then you had a nickname for later in high school, right? Hey, Baby Winky. What's up, Fat Brady? Hey. Hug it off.

[Eli]

Who's F.B.

[Caitlin]

Yeah, see? And that would have been because you read it or saw it in a Cheech and Chong movie or something. Wouldn't have made sense. You were doing something that caused flippity floppy that you won't tell us. What was it?

[Eli]

I have no idea.

[Caitlin]

That drives me crazy.

[Eli]

I'll ask her, of course.

[Caitlin]

Finally, before you two both die of old age, would you please ask what's going on?

[Eli]

Because I can't say. You know, calling Kirby Kirby d'. Herbs.

[Caitlin]

Well, that's easy. That's rhyming.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Caitlin]

Curba d' herbs is. Yeah, that makes sense that you would call somebody Kirby d'. Herbs. It's Kirby is her name. So Kirby. Anything after that makes sense. We can figure that one out. That's math. Flippity floppity for Brady. You have no curiosity. You were up to something. You had something going on.

[Eli]

You guys making pancakes?

[Caitlin]

That's probably.

[Brett]

Definitely.

[Caitlin]

And then, of course, that would piss you off mightily if someone called you flippity floppity after watching you make pancakes. Ask some questions. God damn it.

[Brett]

Never gonna happen.

[Caitlin]

Yeah, doesn't occur.

[Brett]

It's not right now.

[Caitlin]

I can't believe you don't have any curiosity right now. Just like, why didn't I ask questions? John holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 kupd. It's john holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com if I told you I had an idea for a project and said to you, in order to finish the project, We've got about 10 steps to go through, and seven or eight of them are time consuming and could ruin the entire thing. Doug Hopkins, he offers you cash for your home, as is right now, and that process is over. He doesn't change that price. You get 5,000 doll thousand dollars guaranteed. Your house is sold. Start the process online right now@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing.

[Eli]

New York magazine's website called the Cut, just did a in depth feature titled Everyone has hemorrhoids Now.

[Caitlin]

Now.

[Eli]

They went deep on the hemorrhoid talk. They talked to the chief of colon and rectal surgery at Mount Sinai Hospital. Hemorrhoids have apparently been on the rise for years, and young people are dealing with them more and more. It's all the rosebuds you have to have that uncomfortable surgery.

[Caitlin]

Brett's right. They're playing with their butts more than they used to. We never played with our butts.

[Eli]

There's four reasons that they're saying.

[Caitlin]

And also wiping.

[Eli]

Sit too much. There's that sitting too long puts added pressure on the veins down there, restricts blood flow. We sit on the toilet too long. That's because in A survey in 2021 found 73% of the people and 93% of folks under 30 bring their phone in the bathroom with them. We're not eating enough fiber. It's number three. And the fourth ones were dehydrated. Not drinking enough fluids slows down your digestion, makes you constipated.

[John Holmberg]

Number five is rosebuds.

[Caitlin]

Yeah. Number five is kids are playing with their buds more. Also, they don't wash their asses. Dry paper causes more problems with Uranus.

[Eli]

But on those rosebuds, you're not really seeing hemorrhoids.

[Caitlin]

That's like the ultimate.

[Brett]

That's a giant.

[Caitlin]

It's like it's gonna blow up some blood vessels. No, you're definitely not in good shape after that. There's hemorrhoid issues.

[Brett]

You rose buds are not good back there.

[Caitlin]

I'm venturing to guess when that thing sucks back in, you got some bubbles. You probably don't feel them, because if you can, rosebud hemorrhoids are your second biggest problem.

[Brett]

I don't think you should have that kind of control over that thing.

[Caitlin]

Well, they do. I think your body's like, whoops. Suck that back in. Sorry. You're gonna have a couple bumps popping an eye. What gays do to their bottoms. Hemorrhoids. They don't. It's nothing they don't feel. It's like dudes with calloused hands. That's all a hemorrhoid is just a couple calluses on the way in. It's like getting a hand job from a guy who does roofing. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Brat sandpaper.

[Caitlin]

But that's what they get, you know, you gotta have some traction. I believe the gays call those speed bumps. I think that's the old joke of the hemorrhoids. Or.

[Eli]

And if you don't, you're like city folk.

[Caitlin]

Right? Right. They like those pristine ones. But trauma to the anus, Trust me.

[John Holmberg]

It'S a good band name.

[Caitlin]

But Trauma to the anus is a great band name. Solid anal trauma, maybe. Just fixed it when I fell on that rock and it hit the money shot. Bam. That bubble came the next day to my anus, and it was humongous and hilarious. Man. Brady hemorrhoid.

[Brett]

Your lack of questions has the Textures.

[Caitlin]

They go crazy about that.

[Brett]

Everybody's asking me about Flippity Floppity. Was that about his wiener bouncing around as he ran naked through the house?

[Caitlin]

Yeah. Why Winky?

[Brett]

You know what? Winky is right.

[Caitlin]

You did something with your dinky. You did something with your penis. And your sister's like. You got caught outside with your penis. Baby Fifi, Maybe that was. This is. This is nudity related.

[Brett]

They knew Brady's secret fish fetish. Flippity floppity.

[Caitlin]

Oh, that could be your sister. You. You've repressed it and you won't tell us. And your sister, you think she read it in a magazine and just pulled it out of thin air?

[Eli]

No, I don't.

[Caitlin]

You did something.

[Eli]

We'll find out.

[Caitlin]

Guessing it's PP related. Yeah. Texture.

[John Holmberg]

There's one here.

[Eli]

And now it's time for some Wild America.

[Caitlin]

Hold on. We gotta print. I got a lot going on over here now. Because everybody's curious about Flippity Floppity. Print it. Yeah. Hello.

[Eli]

My friend Brady Bogan here with your Wild America.

[Caitlin]

It's not. There's plenty of paper in there. Sorry.

[Eli]

If you think about hiking or camping in the Southwest right now, in our area.

[Caitlin]

Nope.

[Eli]

In our area, on top of Arizona, California, Colorado, Kansas, New Mexico and Texas.

[Caitlin]

It'S the Southwest Tarantulas.

[Eli]

It's the mating season.

[Caitlin]

They're coming north.

[Brett]

I saw this.

[Caitlin]

A massive migration.

[Eli]

Well, they've been here, but this is the time of year that they start and when all the males are looking for females.

[Caitlin]

They said on the news the other day there's hundreds migration from Mexico that are all going into the Southwest. They're already here. Yeah, but tons of them come. Yeah. Build a little tarantula. While the worst of the worst tarantulas.

[Brett]

Are letting the tarantulas in.

[Caitlin]

Ms. 13, Ms. 8 legs. They're all heading towards us.

[Eli]

We have 29 described individual species of tarantulas. And United States. Arizona has a. A brown transfer tarantula. And then we have another one that has kind of a red belly.

[Caitlin]

Those are the Indian.

[Eli]

There's the Mexican red leg.

[Brett]

Look at you off the top.

[Caitlin]

The Mexican red leg. That's the one.

[Brett]

I want out the knowledge of Arizona spiders.

[Eli]

I want to see it. I've seen. I've only seen it on like the animal programs. Whether it's that geo or something where they show. It's just like thousands that are crossing the highway.

[Caitlin]

They had it on the news the other day.

[Brett]

Have you seen one here?

[Eli]

No, I haven't seen it. Live or been there. But have I seen a tarantula here?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Eli]

Just one time.

[Caitlin]

Yeah.

[Eli]

Yep.

[Caitlin]

That's it for me. That's for TV only.

[Brett]

That's it.

[Caitlin]

You're not interested in a tarantula migration. I don't want to see one in my house, let alone hundreds on a road coming at me. No interest in it. That's for. That's. That's Attenborough stuff right there. I'm mighty. Mighty tarantula coming across the board said.

[Brett]

They'Re going to Colorado, so they're going the entire length of the state.

[Eli]

And yeah, they're all the way. They cover five or six states. Texas.

[Caitlin]

Colorado's up there pretty good.

[Eli]

Got a guy in British Columbia that.

[Caitlin]

Brady. Let me ask you this.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Caitlin]

Tarantula in the house. Squash it.

[Eli]

And I'm picking it up and putting.

[Caitlin]

It outside and squashing that because now it's somebody else's problem. Squash it. Oh, me too.

[John Holmberg]

A heartbeat.

[Eli]

It's a mess.

[Caitlin]

All right.

[Eli]

It's pretty big.

[Caitlin]

It's a bigger mess. Waking up with a tarantula in your bed.

[Eli]

It's easy. Just put a leash on them.

[Caitlin]

And I'll tell you right now, if I wake up with a tarantula in my bed, I'm gonna take the biggest I've ever taken in my life. You want to talk about hemorrhoids? Ain't got nothing nothing on me. Yeah, I would. I'd rose butt out a turd.

[Eli]

And then they're buried in a massive grumpy.

[Caitlin]

And then. And then I have the nerve to say it would be too messy to stomp that thing out. Even standing there wide awake, if I see a tarantula, I might take a shit on the floor.

[Eli]

So this guy from British Columbia suffered minor injuries after fending off.

[Caitlin]

By the way, if cougar. I don't give a crap anymore. If you let a tarantula go. If you tell me I found a tarantula in your house and then you let it go. I'm gonna rent Saving Private Ryan and we're gonna watch it together. Cause you know what happens? That thing comes back and kills one of us. They don't kill ya. I don't want to get bit by a tarantula and find out. Do you?

[Eli]

It won't happen.

[Caitlin]

Why?

[Eli]

It won't bite you.

[Caitlin]

Yes, they do. That's what they do. Their defense mechanism. What do they do if they're threatened? What do they do?

[Eli]

Run.

[Caitlin]

What do they do? What do you do if you roll over?

[Eli]

Yeah. Worst case scenario. They'll bite you, try to hit you.

[Caitlin]

They bite you. That's it. I don't want to find out that Brady's freed tarantula comes back and kills the Jew.

[Eli]

I'll brand them so you know that. I let him go.

[Caitlin]

I don't care. Circle B. I'm telling you right now, if you tell me I found one in the house and put it out, all tarantula bites are responsible. You are your thing. Because that's one more.

[Eli]

I'm not going to tell you.

[Caitlin]

Good.

[Eli]

Maybe I heard yes.

[Caitlin]

Okay, well, then now I'm gonna blame you anyway. Now maybe I already blame you. I was seeing that thing on TV the other day that was horrifying. Thousands of them just walking around. I'm like, where's the flamethrower? Knock this problem down. I can tell you right now if there's that many of them on the.

[Eli]

Road, how many are in that, you know, picture when you see that. And then you like Toledo saying, I've seen it one time.

[Caitlin]

No, we don't need.

[Eli]

Really.

[Caitlin]

See, we don't have a population problem with tarantulas from what I saw on TV the other day. Yeah, flame throw that mess down the second you see it.

[John Holmberg]

That is Byron up having.

[Caitlin]

Bring that with you. And we got. If I got two of them.

[Eli]

Not right now.

[Caitlin]

Yeah, no, right now.

[John Holmberg]

Right now.

[Eli]

Dry.

[Caitlin]

Nope. I got a hose. I'll deal with it. Two and a hose.

[Brett]

I agree.

[Caitlin]

Trust me, I'll. This will be covered. And by the way, I don't want to live anywhere. I'd rather burn it down than have a tarantula infestation. Tarantulas are nice weirdos Said and four of them in my terrariums. They're so gentle with a terrarium.

[Eli]

Yeah, they like to snuggle, right?

[Caitlin]

They're neat on tv, not in the.

[John Holmberg]

Wild like those jerk offs on Mill Avenue walking around their big boa constrictors.

[Caitlin]

Can't wait for that thing to pop your head off.

[Eli]

Bow on one shoulder and you know on the other.

[Caitlin]

Although, and I've said this a million times, that all they are are people with no personalities that are using a snake is the only interesting thing about them.

[Eli]

You guys like my snake?

[Caitlin]

No, I like them better than you because I guarantee you don't have a personality. You wouldn't need the.

[Eli]

Yeah, Monty Python is really great.

[Caitlin]

What a name. How did you come up with Monty Python? Oh, here's the other guy with Monty Python also. Mine's called Anaconda. Awesome. Nice job. You're so original. All of you. And your personalities are aces or you wouldn't need this accompaniment.

[John Holmberg]

Tarantula.

[Caitlin]

It's like having a midget giving him a piggyback ride all the time. What's wrong? I don't have a personality? So this is my only interesting trait. Wolves. Snakes in public. You can have them at home. That's fine. The minute you start toting them around malls. Notice those dudes. Never have like three or four people.

[Eli]

Run with Iggy on my shoulder. Iguana.

[Caitlin]

Yeah. But you know. I guarantee you. Guarantee you right now. Yeah. Those people. Anything with a reptile on your body. Yeah. And two things are guaranteed. You have no friends with you at the time. And you're walking through the mall all alone with your snake. And you're. You're not going to any stores. You're just looking around. Does anyone notice me? Does anyone notice me? You're an incel.

[Eli]

Yes. That's a gecko on my shoulder.

[Caitlin]

Right? That was an accident. You see me brush it off and stop.

[Brett]

People have tails. Man. We had. We rented a cabin in Prescott. They'd climb the outside walls.

[Caitlin]

Tarantulas all over. Horror movie. It's a horror movie. I'd leave.

[John Holmberg]

I turn into Gallagher. I'm just. I'm smashing everything around.

[Caitlin]

I'm bringing this leg. You're damn right.

[Eli]

Breaking holes in the wall.

[Caitlin]

It's a great Italian song.

[Brett]

This guy's related to Brady somehow. Jesus Christ. You pansies. We get them all around our property every time it rains. My kids pick them up. Toughen up.

[Caitlin]

Talking about toughening up. Move. You live in bug infested mess. If I told you I loved ants and had a house full of them, you'd think I was crazy. It's the same thing. I got bugs all over my house. Why don't you toughen up? Why don't you live in the 21st century? Call up Hunter pest control and get. Get rid of them. I love spiders and bugs and stuff all over the house. We leave food on the ground just for them. We're pigs. Where do you live that every time it rains you have spiders everywhere.

[Brett]

That's weird. I haven't seen that ever.

[Caitlin]

The dump. You know? If you've got. If you've got. Not that store. If you've got tarantulas at your house, that means you've got a ton of bugs. Because that's what they eat. Right?

[Eli]

They gotta have. Yeah.

[Caitlin]

Their house is filthy. You just.

[Eli]

I have noticed there's been a lot of crickets lately.

[Caitlin]

That guy that just emailed in. His kids have licensed and.

[Brett]

Oh, they're living with everything.

[Caitlin]

Yeah, they're running outside, picking up bugs off the ground. They got licensed mites.

[Eli]

Back to this dude that got attacked by the cougar. He just had minor injuries because he punched the cougar in the face multiple times.

[Caitlin]

He started it.

[Eli]

Recommended by the do not play dead with a cougar.

[Caitlin]

Fight it.

[Eli]

You want to be big?

[Caitlin]

Yeah. I watched the. I survived where the cougar got that guy and he. He plucked the cougar's eye out with his thumb and just pissed the cougar off more. End up killing him with a pocket knife. But he couldn't get the pocket knife through The. The leathery skin of the cougar thing just tore him to bits. He lived, but he. He had his thumbs in the cougar's eyes, and he was popping them. The cougar got furious. You pissed a cougar off when you try to pop its eyes out.

[Eli]

That's your wild America.

[Caitlin]

I don't think I'd play dead with a cougar. Pretty sure I'd just be dead. I don't think I'd make it through. But this guy Lee. Mail. My kids wrestle cougars all day long. Grow up. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Eli]

Kraft Mac and Cheese is unleashing a new pizza flavor for limited time. You can order your Mac and cheese for delivery this weekend only if you're in New York City, Chicago, Detroit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that'll do us a lot of good.

[Caitlin]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Okay. You planning on taking a road trip?

[John Holmberg]

He might. We haven't heard the. The flavor yet.

[Brett]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

And that's the end.

[Caitlin]

Yeah.

[Eli]

It's a Mac and cheese.

[Caitlin]

It's pizza flavored. Okay.

[Brett]

It was a pizza, all right.

[Caitlin]

I was waiting for the end of that myself.

[Eli]

Scoop. Seller sent us a little article. Sad, sad day in Phoenix yesterday. The last Sizzler closed.

[Caitlin]

They closed it.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Caitlin]

I17 Sizzler?

[Eli]

Yep.

[Caitlin]

Oh, no. Well, John. John Gordon won't have anywhere to take his lady.

[Brett]

Flagstaff.

[John Holmberg]

There's one up there.

[Brett]

It's the last one, I think, in the state.

[Caitlin]

Is that right?

[Eli]

They say this is the Valley's last location. Yeah, and maybe that one up a flag is still open.

[Brett]

It is.

[Caitlin]

Be a gentleman to that and drag her up to the Sizzler. John Gordon used to always take her to the Sizzler over on Southern and Alma. School or extension?

[John Holmberg]

Well, there was one on Country Club.

[Caitlin]

Too. That's the one.

[John Holmberg]

That country club in Southern. That's the one that burned down. But there was one over on Extension in Southern as well, years ago.

[Caitlin]

Then it turned into like a faux.

[Brett]

Pocket that close to, wow, popular place.

[John Holmberg]

Then there was one on baseline. And like McClintock, if you go back.

[Caitlin]

With your current palette to a Sizzler that used to think was great in the 80s and take a bite of that food, like eating the bottom of a Nike. Sizzler closed for a reason.

[Eli]

A Tender Nike.

[Caitlin]

Oh, no, it wasn't a Tender Nike. Nikes are. I prefer the n.

[Eli]

A pastor from Denver named Eli Religallo in his wife Caitlin. They've been accused of running a cryptocurrency scam. They solicited 3.4 million from friends and associates to buy something called Index Coin. The crypto has zero value, and the investors lost all their money. Instead, the couple used most of the money on personal expenses, including home renovation, airline tickets, motel rooms, luxury retail purchases. They targeted the Christian investors, told them to have faith in their investment in the Index Coin and it would lead to an abundance of blessings, part of investing. The Lord told him to do it.

[Caitlin]

Sure. Sometimes the Lord is a bad advisor for finance. By the way, there's you. That weird face you make in all the pictures covered in tarantulas.

[John Holmberg]

Batman strikes again.

[Caitlin]

That's a good one. By the way, Scott Haynes has fired back. He said that's funny. Burt's defense for a tarantula is the same as his deal with flaming barrels. Grab the hammer and smash them.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, whatever works.

[Caitlin]

It's true.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. They got unlimited cheese toast at Sizzler now?

[Caitlin]

Well, not too much. It's limited because we're about to shut it down. This guy says you guys are bitches. Tarantulas are delicious. They're a delicacy. Signed all of your listeners in Djibouti. And I'm not so sure if I'm a listener of the show that I'm gonna fire off a quick email saying that I have an infestation of bugs and spiders. As a brag point, I don't want to necessarily flex on the idea that my house is coated in spiders.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Flagstaff and Gallup, New Mexico is where we got to go for Sizzler.

[Caitlin]

Man. Looks like I'm never going to Sizzler again.

[Eli]

I got a couple of pretty videos.

[Caitlin]

All right.

[Eli]

You ever find that one?

[Brett]

Yeah, I got that.

[Eli]

Yeah. This is a ring. Camera in la was released the video and said it caught a alien on Video.

[Caitlin]

Oh, cool.

[Eli]

Woman post an illegal one footage last.

[Caitlin]

Month just doing her yard work. I don't know why she's so surprised.

[Eli]

Woman in Compton shared the vid the footage last month and now they say of course it's not in high def.

[Caitlin]

Is that I have to keep it down because I'm sure there's a what the is in my yard?

[Eli]

It's pretty freaky. It happens really quick. You'll see it. The alien right there in the corner.

[Caitlin]

Started over. I missed it. That's a rabbit. That's a rabbit.

[John Holmberg]

That scene in Signs was a lot more scarier.

[Caitlin]

Hit pause on that. It was 1:00am well, don't do that. Hit pause.

[Brett]

Trying to hit it before you hit play. That blacks out when you pause it, huh?

[Caitlin]

Oh, rabbit to me some just where was in Compton.

[John Holmberg]

That's some crackhead.

[Caitlin]

Yeah, some crackhead doing a military.

[Eli]

You know, someone said, oh, it could be a costume.

[Caitlin]

But maybe Little Chris fell out of his wheelchair. It's an alien. Like an alien would land in Compton first.

[Brett]

What if it's accidental accident?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he jumped back in the spaceship and go somewhere else.

[Caitlin]

He'd have gotten shot walking around from that spaceship. No way he's getting through Compton untouched. Into somebody's yard. Blast his ass. ET doesn't. ET's ET gets found in Compton. And that movie's totally different, man. Of course you could have dressed him up like a cholo. He would have fit in because he's the same height.

[John Holmberg]

But even walk around.

[Caitlin]

I gotta get out of la. Get the F out of la. They falling from the skies. Why don't you give me them skins, alien? You've been having sex with them aliens. Trey.

[John Holmberg]

Give me some skins.

[Eli]

Elliot.

[Caitlin]

Give me some skins. Elliot. Elliot. Phone home. You ain't using my minutes. Who this new phone? Phone home. You wasted my minutes, man. It's the 30th of the month. I'm in C O M P T O N.

[Eli]

Next one's a messy. Arrest that.

[Brett]

I think we've seen this one.

[Caitlin]

Sorry. I'm up in the cpt. I'm in the cpt. Phone home. Phone home. Elliot. I'll be right here. You gonna make me cry, little mother? Get your ass out the hood.

[Brett]

Get on over to Crenshaw.

[Caitlin]

They'd kill and eat that thing the first day. There's no way white people keep it in their closet. Dress it up. I shot Where Star.

[John Holmberg]

Off to the Sizzler we go.

[Caitlin]

I killed some ugly in my house last night. I don't know what to do. And then. And then. Boys in the hood. You guys want to see a dead body? What is that.

[Brett]

Again?

[Caitlin]

Yeah, that's. What is that a. That's a fat little.

[Eli]

I think I shot a leprechaun.

[Caitlin]

I got me a leprechaun. Alien in Compton. I'm calling the Wayans brothers that. They're gonna make that movie. He lands in Compton, and they just. That would be great. Anyway.

[Brett]

Mess around with an alien in Compton.

[Caitlin]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Eli]

You see the arrest. They're cuffing them.

[Caitlin]

He's got it. Oh, he just takes a poop on these cops that are coughing. Oh, he's spraying diarrhea. Oh, my goodness. Just some hillbilly relief on his face. Oh, he's just standing there with a. He's naked. So they tied a shirt around his middle.

[Brett]

He got his hands in that.

[Caitlin]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

I' go.

[Caitlin]

Oh, my. Cops just start running. Just start shooting. Diarrhea. Oh, humans. Maybe the aliens are better. All right, next one's a.

[Eli]

From a train.

[Caitlin]

Oh, yeah, that I'm okay with. If the cops break out the night sticks and work that guy into the ground, nobody goes to jail for that.

[Eli]

This guy gets vaporized.

[Caitlin]

Oh, he's standing on train tracks. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Oh, wow. Almost two. One more step parted. Oh, my God. Trains are undefeated, I think. Oh, my God.

[Eli]

Last one's a little. Little nail to the cheek.

[Caitlin]

Guy's got a nail in his. Just under his temple on his left eye. Yeah, they've got some vice grips or pliers, and they're pulling the nail on this, isn't it? No, it's a good. Oh, that's a full on, like, holy cow.

[Eli]

Five inch nail, @ least.

[Caitlin]

Oh, get right into the bone under your temple. Pretty much. Yeah.

[Brett]

It's like in his science.

[Caitlin]

So right in that. That cavern in your face behind your sinuses and under your brain, behind your eye.

[Eli]

No blood.

[Caitlin]

It's just all bone. That is horrifying. What'd he do? Does it say what he did? Obviously mess around with a nail gun.

[Brett]

Actually, nail guns have five inch nails. I don't think.

[Caitlin]

Yeah, that's a good man. That is awful.

[Brett]

Maybe that's AI.

[Eli]

All right, that's what I was wondering, like. Or is it a magic trick?

[Caitlin]

I don't know what that is. It's not easy to watch. Looks real to me, man. Yeah, I believed it. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[John Holmberg]

All right, we'll start off with a little mountain bike action here.

[Caitlin]

Okay.

[Eli]

Oh, no, I remember the ones.

[Caitlin]

The ones that turn into Something else.

[Brett]

No, it's not.

[Caitlin]

He's flying down the path fence. Wait, wait. More guys on the fence.

[Eli]

It's the other angle.

[Caitlin]

Oh, the guy behind him was filming it too. Yeah. Oh, he went. Shot his head. Went.

[Eli]

His buddy opened it for him.

[Caitlin]

It's like a cattle guard. Yeah. First dude just smashes it. Gate opens for the next guy, and he gets right by. That's what the good second riders do. Don't follow that tire too closely. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

All right, how about this party?

[Caitlin]

All right. Or somebody's house on the second story, there's a guy banging a girl. Very attractive coup. Definitely getting it going. Is that gonna. That's at a party. That's just the second floor. People just went outside on the balcony and had sex for hundreds of people. Why are they playing this song? 1. Of course the girl's worried about this soundtrack. Wow. There. They look good too, by the way. I've watched this. She's going for it.

[John Holmberg]

She's working it.

[Caitlin]

She's going for it. There's a guy inside. Film. It's a porno. That's good. That's good stuff. Hopefully I run into that some night. Just hanging around, bored.

[Eli]

You guys mind if we fill a scene?

[Caitlin]

Saw the behind the scenes on this one.

[Brett]

You never saw that at the old pornhouse in your old neighborhood or whatever? Or was it just a.

[Caitlin]

They weren't outside.

[Brett]

I'm something.

[Eli]

They're not in the front yard.

[Caitlin]

No, they were. They bought the house next door that they lived in and they used it to film porn.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a happy marriage.

[Caitlin]

Oh, guys peeing on us. Oh, they're peeing on each other. Crossing streams at the same time, for crying out loud. Listen to that sense. Cut it out. Cut it out. You two pronounce. That is. That's keeping the magic alive, though. That's spicing things up in the bedroom.

[Brett]

Spicing things.

[Caitlin]

He's got a wire whisk, that is. Yeah. And his foreskin. His foreskin is over the edge of a wire whisk for, like, eggs and stuff. And it's all the way around, and it looks like a really nice umbrella. I don't know how he did that.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a little John's crunk cup.

[Brett]

I'm actually impressed.

[Caitlin]

It is a cup. It looks like a chalice. Oh, now he's eating. He dipped it in the peanut butter, and now he's eating. He's eating the whole. Not only that, he can fit his whole mouth around the wire with. Dude got some skills around the kitchen. All right.

[John Holmberg]

And then we'll just end with this one.

[Caitlin]

That was neat. Okay, here's a girl. She's behind a naked lady. And the naked lady's butt has something in it and it looks white and she's about to. Okay, she just farted out a bunch of whipped cream. I mean, it's a lot. Oh, one play is worth another. Whose idea was this? Genius. It's like when you don't shake up the ready whip enough and it makes that noise. Oh, man. She had a ton in there all day. Three.

[John Holmberg]

Well in there.

[Caitlin]

Good stuff. There you go. Flip Orly's here.

[Eli]

Yes.

[Caitlin]

See outside?

[Brett]

Yeah. They're waiting.

[Caitlin]

Oh, Brad brought him.

[Eli]

Yeah.

[Caitlin]

But Flipper just wandering on his own. All right. Flips here. He's going to be doing tonight and tomorrow, I believe, down in Tempe. I might have it back here the whole weekend.

[Brett]

He is two spots.

[Caitlin]

He's doing Wednesday, though.

[Eli]

Yep.

[Caitlin]

So he's gonna. Yeah, he's doing Desert Ridge, I think on the weekends or vice versa. We'll find out from Flip. Flip joins us next. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

It's Brett and John Fraction Ride shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa.

[Caitlin]

The new location is your East Valley full line bike shop with brands like Pivot, Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain Giant Norco. Of course, Action Rideshop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus, being so close to the Haas trailhead, they have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and E bikes.

[John Holmberg]

Action Ride shop now with two locations, the brand new Shop of Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out at actionrideshop.com.