07-30-25-FlipOrley-TempeImprov-DesertRidgeImprov-InStudio-seg-01

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 07-30-25-FlipOrley-TempeImprov-DesertRidgeImprov-InStudio-seg-01
Release Date: July 30, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Guest: Flip Orly
Location: In-Studio

---

1. Welcoming Flip Orly

Timestamp: [01:12 - 02:09]

John Holmberg kicks off the episode by introducing Flip Orly, a comedian performing at Desert Ridge Improv and Tempe Improv. The banter begins with Holmberg teasing Flip about working on Wednesdays, leading to a lighthearted exchange about Flip’s dedication to his craft.

Notable Quote:
John Holmberg [01:12]: "You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you, pd?"

---

2. Flip Orly’s Tattoos and Past Relationships

Timestamp: [02:09 - 08:22]

The conversation shifts to a humorous discussion about Flip’s extensive tattoos, many of which are names of past relationships. Holmberg jokes about Flip potentially winning houses and getting more tattoos, including an inappropriate one, which Flip clarifies he has mostly fixed.

Notable Quote:
Flip Orly [02:16]: "I actually think sincerely, the only thing that I would prefer to do over being on stage is being in here with y' all every morning."

---

3. Medical Mishaps and Health Anecdotes

Timestamp: [08:22 - 15:28]

Flip shares a series of amusing yet relatable medical stories. From a confusing interaction with a phlebotomist who misheard his name as "Felipe," leading to comical hints about the word "flip" (relating to flipping a coin), to his disastrous experience with a prostate exam where he humorously interacted with his doctor.

Notable Quote:
Flip Orly [09:15]: "I think you all know that. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not kidding."

John Holmberg [12:01]: "You a queen size. We're going to make you guys so happy here. Fat and happy. That's not a bad idea for prison."

---

4. Natural Disasters and Global Warming

Timestamp: [15:28 - 23:50]

The discussion takes a turn towards global warming and natural disasters. Holmberg and Flip debate the unpredictability of tsunamis compared to hurricanes, with Flip expressing skepticism about the accuracy of tsunami warnings and sharing his lack of concern due to his location.

Notable Quote:
John Holmberg [19:26]: "Is it gun laws because you're toting around in arsenal. I know that. I've known you long enough to know that."

---

5. Transitioning to Theater Performances

Timestamp: [26:15 - 27:57]

Flip announces his plan to transition from club performances to theater shows across the Midwest. Holmberg questions how Flip plans to handle larger audiences and longer shows, to which Flip responds with enthusiasm and outlines his upcoming tour dates.

Notable Quote:
Flip Orly [26:15]: "I'm transitioning."

John Holmberg [26:34]: "How in the world are you going to do this? You don't know?"

---

6. Challenges in the Comedy Scene

Timestamp: [27:57 - 32:51]

Flip recounts a challenging experience at a Maryland comedy club where a woman had a negative reaction during his performance. He shares how this incident affected his relationship with the club and his approach to future shows. The segment highlights the unpredictable nature of live performances and audience interactions.

Notable Quote:
Flip Orly [28:48]: "I'm a patient, not a customer. Stop upselling me."

John Holmberg [31:35]: "Well, I could get sued. Trust me. I'll just ignore it like a bill."

---

7. Upcoming Shows and Final Thoughts

Timestamp: [32:17 - 32:51]

In the final segment, Holmberg and Flip discuss Flip’s upcoming theater shows in various locations, emphasizing his excitement and determination to make the transition successful. Holmberg wraps up by encouraging listeners to attend Flip’s performances.

Notable Quote:
Flip Orly [27:50]: "September 13th at the Marion Theater in Ocala."

John Holmberg [32:24]: "But you don't go into those states just because it's a hassle."

---

Conclusion

John Holmberg and Flip Orly engage in a humorous and candid conversation covering Flip’s career, personal anecdotes, health issues, and his transition to theater performances. The episode showcases Flip’s comedic resilience and Holmberg’s supportive hosting style, making it an entertaining listen for fans of Arizona’s #1 morning radio show.

---

Disclaimer: The episode includes humorous and exaggerated accounts for entertainment purposes. Listeners are advised to consult professionals for medical and legal advice.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Flip Orly]

You thought that was funny?

[John Holmberg]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you, pd? All right, stop cussing, Flip. Here we go, everybody. Flip Orly is with us. He's at the Desert Ridge Improv tonight and tomorrow. And he's at the 10pm Prov Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. For some reason, they've got you working a Wednesday.

[Flip Orly]

I love working.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know you like working, but Wednesday?

[Flip Orly]

Dude, I. In the day. In the day. It was the comedy club week. Started on Monday and ran through Sunday. Used to be seven days a week.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Flip Orly]

Well, because they were selling tickets back then.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Used to be able to do it. I see. It's like the wnba. You didn't demand more money. They just stopped giving you those nights.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah, well, yeah, but honestly, people were going to. That's lucrative. If we were selling tickets Monday and Tuesday, I'd do the I do seven days.

[John Holmberg]

You would?

[Flip Orly]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I love too much.

[Flip Orly]

I love what I do.

[John Holmberg]

I know you do.

[Flip Orly]

You think I'm kissing your ass, which I am. But I actually think sincerely, the only thing that I would prefer to do over being on stage is being in here with y' all every morning.

[John Holmberg]

Stop that. Well, you're not going to have it. Thanks for coming, Flip. It's a pleasure, Flip. Early this week and he's got seeing.

[Flip Orly]

You, I caught myself.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. This is. This is when a girl tells you she loves you too soon. It's like, oh, we got to cut this dog.

[Flip Orly]

I've been known you for 30 years.

[John Holmberg]

I know it's still too soon. Especially when Flip says I love you. That's trouble for everybody.

[Flip Orly]

Dude, that's a house for you. What? Are you kidding me?

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point. I win a house. You've given away four or five houses. And a tattoo. You'll get. You'll get tattoo on his body. Just gonna ask. You have the. I see the name is still pistachio on the arm. What about the other five tattoos I believe of that last girl's name all over your body?

[Flip Orly]

No. 12.

[John Holmberg]

12.

[Flip Orly]

I remember that.

[John Holmberg]

And the penis was one of them.

[Flip Orly]

I got that one fixed.

[John Holmberg]

And that's fixed. Which. Which else is. Did they. Did they chuck it out onto the WNBA floor? Is that how you fixed it? It's green. What else? Have you fixed them all?

[Flip Orly]

No, I've fixed nine. I've got three.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Three to go. And there's no new girls Thinking maybe tattoos for her?

[Flip Orly]

No. You know what I think? I think the last divorce. Hard to believe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

I think the fifth one really broke me.

[John Holmberg]

Finally, no more dating. No prostitutes from here on out.

[Flip Orly]

You know, and this, ladies. I know. This is horrible. This is not you. It's not you, it's me. It's not you, it's me.

[John Holmberg]

That is so true.

[Flip Orly]

But like I'll see an attractive woman like walking down the street, right? And I'll think to myself, oh, she's really attractive. But in a nanosecond like my thoughts with you. I bet she wants my house. She wants to take all my stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's like a Zillow screen comes up.

[Flip Orly]

And it's just like. It is such a sort of self control mechanism that has so. And it's not even that I've got.

[John Holmberg]

Good stuff to defense mechanism to ever losing more of your things.

[Flip Orly]

Honestly, I can't tell you how many divorce attorneys because I put through college.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's terrible. And so you got to stop it. And you're happier this way.

[Flip Orly]

I'm happy as a pee.

[John Holmberg]

Look at how. Look at how happy he was. Glowing. Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

By golly, I believe.

[John Holmberg]

Golly, the man glows. Flip is. We're gonna take a break and bring it back because that's my fault. It's my fault. So we're gonna take a little break and we're gonna. You're staying though?

[Flip Orly]

As long as you want me.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's all right. Well then you're going. Kidding. Take 56. Flip Orly is here this weekend. Desert Ridge and the Tempe Improv. Get [e-mail] or tempeimprov.com More flip coming up in a second. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD. It's John Holmberg here and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com if I told you I had an idea for a project and said to you in order to finish the project, We've got about 10 steps to go through and seven or eight of them are time consuming and could ruin the entire thing. Doug Hopkins, he offers you cash for your home as is right now, and that process is over. He doesn't change that price or you get $5,000 guaranteed, your house is sold. Start the process online right now@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing.

[Flip Orly]

In.

[John Holmberg]

The time it takes you to actually board that flight. From Group 8. Now boarding Premier. Altitude Elite club members. You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Yes, that Amazon, where you buy everything else. Mid tier Altitude Elite. Feel free to board now. So while you're waiting for them to make up new boarding groups, you can order your dream car and the dealer will have it ready in no time. Now boarding groups one through seven. So close. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Limited availability pickup through participating Hyundai dealer in select markets. Holmberg's morning sickness. Flip's right. We're talking about Flip. Orly is here. Desert Ridge Improv tonight, which is weird, but a Wednesday. Why not fill your Wednesday with fun with Flip tonight. And then if you miss them tonight, tomorrow, August 1st is Friday. And then you're gonna do a whole weekend some. On your lips. Tempevro. That's. We're just watching those videos. Rosebud. Yeah. I was kissing Flips Rose.

[Flip Orly]

I didn't even know I could make one.

[John Holmberg]

We just showed Flip some rosebud videos. You didn't know that was a thing till.

[Flip Orly]

I didn't know that. I didn't know. It's part of the human anatomy.

[John Holmberg]

And you're from New Orleans.

[Flip Orly]

Lafayette, but close enough.

[John Holmberg]

Close enough. That stuff's going on there constantly, all the time.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah, I went to. There's a. There's a place that serves like, donuts. They're called beignets.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

You heard of them?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Flip Orly]

I don't even know if I told the story before.

[John Holmberg]

I think you brought us Ben. Yeah. You brought me a king cake.

[Flip Orly]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Sent me one.

[Flip Orly]

So there's A place called Cafe Dumont.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Flip Orly]

Which serves coffee and donuts.

[John Holmberg]

World famous.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah, absolutely world famous. And. And beignets. So the last time I was there, I. Idiot, I ordered. I ordered a plate of beignets and a cafe au lait. And then I asked the server for a straw. And she goes, you want to. You want a straw? And I go, yeah. And she goes, you might burn yourself. And again, I'm pretty. Pretty used to using a straw. And then we started discussing the use of my tongue.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Flip Orly]

Which was weird. And then it was a cold winter night, so she goes, would you like to stay?

[John Holmberg]

I swear to you, she's French. Sort of, I'm pretending retarded, I can't tell.

[Flip Orly]

She goes, would you like. Would you like to warm up your. Your hands in my armpits? Yes. And I said, really? That that would be the place you would offer? And then she's like, ooh la la. Right, Right. And the next thing I know, she's telling me that she's in a committed relationship with a really good man. A good man. He's a good man and he's really open minded. Would I like to go home with her? He'd be fine with it. Yeah. Really?

[John Holmberg]

Was it Toledo or producer? He's a cuck. Who knew? I didn't know that.

[Flip Orly]

I didn't tell you that part.

[John Holmberg]

Did you close up?

[Flip Orly]

So, no. I was thinking, okay, best case, worst case scenario.

[John Holmberg]

Right, Right.

[Flip Orly]

Best case scenario, I end up with a venereal disease and I'm robbed.

[John Holmberg]

That's the best case. You could tell.

[Flip Orly]

Worst case scenarios, I'm in a bathtub of ice missing a kidney and I just thought there's no good upside.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they didn't see the upside. No. Well, the best case would have been you made a new friend and you get to bang his wife in your world. Well, you've done it before.

[Flip Orly]

No, actually not. No, I knew.

[John Holmberg]

You have had a friend's wife.

[Flip Orly]

No, not never.

[John Holmberg]

I thought the one that you were. You ended up almost marrying. Oh, I guess it wasn't his wife. His daughter.

[Flip Orly]

That's a way different deal.

[John Holmberg]

That's a whole different. That's right. You're right.

[Flip Orly]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

I forgot one of them was a good friend's daughter. I forgot for a while she was of age. Oh, I didn't say she was, but everybody's of age in play here. I'm just saying I got confused that you took another man's wife and then had that. You're right. That's. That's off limits. You Draw that line.

[Flip Orly]

I do. Draw that line, and I will have everyone listening know she was of age.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. Yes. I'm not trying to implicate you in any crimes.

[Flip Orly]

She was not hypnotized. And there were. There was. There was no pharmaceutical.

[John Holmberg]

I was just saying this was my friend's daughter.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then you guys fell in love when she was properly aged.

[Flip Orly]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Like a good steak.

[Flip Orly]

All true.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. And that's fine.

[Flip Orly]

But I never worried about missing a kidney with her.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. You know what? You make a strong point. I stand corrected. Flip Orly. I'm sorry. Right. Yeah. You wouldn't do that.

[Flip Orly]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Off limits.

[Flip Orly]

I just went to. I just went to the doctor about 10 days ago for just an annual. My doctor combined with a bunch of other doctors for a bigger practice, and that's really impersonal. It's a really big building. And so they call me back and they're going to draw blood. So I'm waiting in this big waiting room with other people and. And all of a sudden, waiting 15, 20 minutes, and I hear this gal come out of the. The phlebotomy room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

And she's like, felipe. And I'm on my phone, felipe, Felipe. And nobody's moving. Nobody's looking up. So I stand up and I walk behind her, and I look at the chart, and the name on there is Flip.

[John Holmberg]

Your name.

[Flip Orly]

My name?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

So I go, I think you're. I think you're calling me. She goes, are you Felipe? I go, nope. She goes, what? I go, no. I go, see the chart? She goes, yeah. I go. I go. Read the first name. She goes, philippe. I go, no, Felipe.

[John Holmberg]

I've never seen this word.

[Flip Orly]

And I won't. I won't tell her. I go. I go, what are the. What are the first. What are the letters of the first name? She goes, flip. I go, right. Say that, Felipe. No. This is going on for literally, like three minutes, right? I go, okay. I'm not going to tell you how to pronounce it, but I'm going to give you hints.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

She goes, okay. I go, have you ever tossed a coin in the air to see if it goes heads or tails?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

And she's. Yeah. I go, what do you call that? She goes, well, you flip a coin. I go, that's it. She goes, philippe. I go, no, no. Okay. Have you ever jumped off a diving board and you turned a circle in the air?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

And she goes, yeah. I go, what do you call that? She goes, it's a flip Flop.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, here we go. She still doesn't know how to say.

[Flip Orly]

And I think you all know that. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not kidding.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. You've seen me before.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah, so? So I go. I go, okay, let's try it one more time. Have you ever made a pancake? She goes, yeah. I go, you know how it's done on one side but not on the other side? She goes, yeah. What do you do to make it done on the other side? She goes, well, you. You flip. And I go, yeah. And then I proceed to tell everyone in the office about the story. And anyway, I thought she was just some gal reading my name. Turns out she was my phlebotomist.

[John Holmberg]

She's taking the blood, so. Oh, my God. Is completely bruised up from 10 days ago. How did you survive this?

[Flip Orly]

And, oh, my God, she used the.

[John Holmberg]

Biggest needle possible, by the way. Is that a pipeway off target? Yeah. The vein isn't even there.

[Flip Orly]

I don't think that she was trying hard.

[John Holmberg]

She's hitting you in the elbow. Who shoots? Oh, you've made a mockery of her. Put the needle in and started fishing.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Flip Orly]

I didn't know she was the phlebotomist. Otherwise, I would have. I would have given better hints.

[John Holmberg]

I just gone with Felipe. Yeah, I just gone. See? Let's go. Blood. Yeah. Oh, my God. Flip. So it's terrifying.

[Flip Orly]

The doctor.

[John Holmberg]

You married her, of course.

[Flip Orly]

Of course.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

She's getting my house.

[John Holmberg]

She got a house. She got a house. She took your blood. She's getting the keys.

[Flip Orly]

So. So I like to mess with the doctor just because he's got a decent sense of humor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

So it's a full, you know, annual exam, so he does the prostate thing.

[John Holmberg]

You had to go in the back door. Yeah, yeah.

[Flip Orly]

There was no rosebud I'm aware of.

[John Holmberg]

You might have been happy.

[Flip Orly]

So. So when they're all done with that, right, he hands me, like, some. Some, like, toilet tissue to clean up, right? And I go. I go, excuse me. He goes, yeah. I go. Moments like this, I'm looking for something a little bit more industrial, and I pull out of my pocket. I go, bounty. The quicker.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God, you brought props. You're like the carrot top of a colonoscopy. Thanks a lot, Carrot Top. Yuck. Did you. Ah.

[Flip Orly]

He responded the same way.

[John Holmberg]

He called you carrot Top and then left.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah, he did. He walked out. He actually told me right after that, after the bounty thing, he goes, by the way, I'm retiring. And I don't know if that's true or if it's just true for me.

[John Holmberg]

Because of your ass. You're the last ass I ever want to see. I'm not going in any man's ass anymore. That's it. I'm done.

[Flip Orly]

I looked him, I go, I got prostate of a 16 year old boy. And he goes, honestly? I go, yeah, yeah. 25 year old man. That's like, I'll take it, I will, I will take it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm the same. They did a ultrasound on me and saw that all my organs are like.

[Flip Orly]

They came back, they did an ultrasound.

[John Holmberg]

It's awesome. All over. They can check your bladder and your.

[Flip Orly]

I got a, I got a digital rectal.

[John Holmberg]

I don't, I won't do those. I'm convinced, and I've said this for years, that they've kept that exam alive, delaying it. The technology we can shoot, we can catch a rocket. You still have to use your fingers. Like there's nothing you can probe from the front. And I've got this other thing that can see all my organs. I think it's a power move by doctors just to finger us.

[Flip Orly]

Well, you know, it could be a power move by the patient.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, if the patients like it. I don't know your game, but I just don't. Robot finger on the way. We don't need to do it that way. There's got to be like a, you could poop in a box and send it to a place and they're like, oh, we'll do it.

[Flip Orly]

I could, but I won't.

[John Holmberg]

But I don't want to do that either. Look, I don't want to know anything's wrong with my anus because that just means more visits to the doctor where they got to take a look at my anus. If that, if that breaks down on me, I'm all done here.

[Flip Orly]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

I'm, I'm. And good luck to you and yours.

[Flip Orly]

I've had really bad medical experiences over the last year or two.

[John Holmberg]

With your anus?

[Flip Orly]

No, just with the whole. I, I, I woke up one day with double vision. Did, did I.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah, this. I just out of the blue, I went to bed fine. Woke up double vision. And I had to go, I had to drive 1200 miles to go to Virginia. So I get an appointment with an ophthalmologist and I go, I'm here because I've got double vision. And he put his nose like about 3 inches from mine and he goes, yep. I'm like, Wait, was that the exam? And he goes, yeah. I go, but he goes, I can see it.

[John Holmberg]

I go, no, I can see. Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

So I go, what happened? He goes, you want my medical, like, professional opinion?

[John Holmberg]

I want a truck driver to tell.

[Flip Orly]

And I go, yeah, what happened? He goes, bad luck. I go, what? I go, is it an injury? He goes, no, just bad luck. I go, what caused it? He goes, are you not listening? Bad luck.

[John Holmberg]

You caught bad luck?

[Flip Orly]

I caught bad luck.

[John Holmberg]

That's your medical diagnosis, was bad luck. How do you fix bad luck?

[Flip Orly]

Well, he told me to go to Walmart and get a pair of non prescription glasses and then bring them back and they put like a sticker over. Over one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you patched an eye?

[Flip Orly]

No, it wasn't a patch. It was like a prism kind of a thing. Because the next day I had to drive to Virginia. I had shows in Virginia. So I call up the club in Virginia and I go, I may not be able to make it. I've got this double vision thing. And even if I can drive there, which I don't think I can, but if I can, I'm afraid of falling off the stage.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Flip Orly]

Comedy club people write. He goes, oh, don't worry, we'll put up baby gates. You'll be fine.

[John Holmberg]

People love that. Did you do it? Yeah, you made it. And this is. And people are listening going, just fly. That flip doesn't fly.

[Flip Orly]

I don't fly. But I drove like a pirate.

[John Holmberg]

Double vision makes sense. With one eye, that's vision. The other eye, I was like looking like a fly. Yeah, yeah. Did you have. So you're still driving everywhere?

[Flip Orly]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is that. And you're still in the truck with no electronics?

[Flip Orly]

No, I'm doing rental cars, which I.

[John Holmberg]

Hate them because they can trace you.

[Flip Orly]

Well, I mean, I don't do anything illegal. It's just more a matter of principle.

[John Holmberg]

You rent a car from your house, drive it to here? Yeah. So you drove from Louisiana to here, 1400 miles, and you left Monday?

[Flip Orly]

No, I did. I worked Stand Up Live in Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Flip Orly]

Memorial Day weekend.

[John Holmberg]

You did. So you've been staying here?

[Flip Orly]

No, no, no, I didn't stay here. They contacted me. They had. Had the guy that was supposed to do the shows at Stand up got sick and so they called me, like Wednesday and they go, can you do shows starting Friday? And I'm like, all right, I'll figure it out. So I got in the car Thursday. I drove 24 hour. 20 hour drive in 24 hours. I got to Phoenix at like 3 or 4 o' clock in the afternoon and was on stage that night at like 7.

[John Holmberg]

What is wrong with you? Trains. Ever think of trains?

[Flip Orly]

Oh, what a good idea. No.

[John Holmberg]

Greyhound.

[Flip Orly]

Now. Now you're talking stupid.

[John Holmberg]

At least you could sleep a little. I mean, you're gonna lose a kidney there too, but at least you could sleep a little bit. I've heard there's really prostate exams on a Greyhound, by the way.

[Flip Orly]

Well, you know what? I got a colonoscopy once. And it's the only reason why I got one once is because I had met my deductible. And I thought, what can I get for free?

[John Holmberg]

And you got a freebie. But you're healthy. Just a double vision. And an occasion.

[Flip Orly]

Well, no. Now I. So I. So I ended up with fluid in my left ear.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Flip Orly]

And so I go to. I go to an ent, by the way, and I was talking to Brad. Hey, Brad's from the 10pm property.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. And you're gonna be there.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Flip Orly]

So I. By the way, hi, Debbie Keller.

[John Holmberg]

She's here too. Shout out.

[Flip Orly]

So. So I like. I got fluid my ear, and I got an ear infection. So I went to the ent and I go, I can't hear out of my left ear because I have. I've fluid my ear. And so that ENT goes, let's do a hearing test. And I go, for who? And he goes, what? I go, well, I just told you I can't hear, so I don't think I need the hearing test. And if you miss that part, maybe you should check yourself out. I can't. I can't hear. And he goes, how about mri? And I go, dude, don't upsell me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

And he's like, mammogram. I'm like.

[John Holmberg]

Just put the drops in.

[Flip Orly]

I swear to you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

I said to the doctor, I go, look, I'm a patient, not a customer. Stop upselling me.

[John Holmberg]

That's good stuff right there.

[Flip Orly]

It didn't work out.

[John Holmberg]

No. And then he just jammed something in your ear. He did all three.

[Flip Orly]

Then when I left, they tried to charge me for the hearing test.

[John Holmberg]

But they didn't give you because you already gave him the results when you got there. I can't hear.

[Flip Orly]

I go, here's the hearing test. I plug up my right ear and I go talk. And I can see his lips moving. I'm like, yes. Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

I got nothing. Test over. I can't hear. Write that on your chart. That's gold. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD, Holmberg's morning sickness. We were talking about global warming too. Cause we were talking yesterday. You live in New Orleans. You survived a couple of hurricanes.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah, well, Lafayette, I don't need to correct. But whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I always say that nobody knows.

[Flip Orly]

Where south Louisiana, southern Louisiana.

[John Holmberg]

But the earthquake yesterday in Russia and then everybody on the tsunami watch and I start wondering that doesn't it like. Because hurricanes you can kind of predict, like you get a gate, there's at.

[Flip Orly]

Least a three day, like, heads up.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't it worry you yesterday that the idea of a tsunami is basically all of the Pacific Ocean is.

[Flip Orly]

Maybe that doesn't bother me at all.

[John Holmberg]

Because you're never gonna go.

[Flip Orly]

I honestly can't drive to Hawaii. I, I, yes, right. I, there's, there's. I won't go to the west coast.

[John Holmberg]

Really.

[Flip Orly]

I won't go to Washington State, Oregon.

[John Holmberg]

Or, or California because of the Democrats.

[Flip Orly]

I won't say why.

[John Holmberg]

I just, I don't know. I'm taking a shot in the dark there. Is that it?

[Flip Orly]

You know what it could be? It's, it's one of the life's little mysteries.

[John Holmberg]

Is it gun laws because you're toting around in arsenal. I know that. I've known you long enough to know that.

[Flip Orly]

Let's just say I've got the three bears with me.

[John Holmberg]

But you don't go into those states just because it's a hassle.

[Flip Orly]

It is a hassle. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is that why though, you can say it's okay, everybody a little bit.

[Flip Orly]

No, it's a hassle. I just, I don't. It's a hassle.

[John Holmberg]

It's not worth the pay.

[Flip Orly]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Certainly isn't worth the of it.

[Flip Orly]

You know what, so, so.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, did I mention you'll never go to the coast? You never have to worry about. So you have no empathy or anything for the tsunami warnings because it's never going to affect you. I'm the same way.

[Flip Orly]

Well, for the radio, I have a lot of empathy, sure.

[John Holmberg]

But like people are listening.

[Flip Orly]

But off air, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Off air it's like, what do I care? I mean, I'm in Phoenix and we. Global warming, tsunamis.

[Flip Orly]

There's an upside.

[John Holmberg]

There's a silver lining. I like to think of silver linings and everybody, everybody calls me the pessimist, but no.

[Flip Orly]

Oh my God, you're definitely glass half full.

[John Holmberg]

That is right. Water shows up. Our temperatures drop like 15 degrees. We become the Inland Empire, right? And somewhere out around Gila Bend is a beachfront. Our property values are Gonna skyrocket.

[Flip Orly]

Buy real estate now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly.

[Flip Orly]

By the way, I'm not a professional and you don't take investment advice.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But if you were gonna plan for it, because yesterday was proof to me that they have no idea how to tell anybody a tsunami with any sort of accuracy when the swath of their guess was Alaska to Hawaii.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah. No, I mean, honestly, the cone of uncertainty with, with hurricanes is much more accurate.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Flip Orly]

Than the Western hemisphere.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Yeah. You better get higher ground. Western hemisphere of planet Earth.

[Flip Orly]

You know what? People are stupid.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Flip Orly]

You know, and compared to like animals, I've seen tsunamis. You know what happens first? You have no on.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I was going to say, tell me that story. Talk about bad luck.

[Flip Orly]

No, but like with tsunamis, I believe, like the ocean first of all goes away, disappears. Right. And so animals run for higher ground. People like, where'd the water go?

[John Holmberg]

Let's go investigate.

[Flip Orly]

And they literally go like into.

[John Holmberg]

Get some good shells, follow an elephant.

[Flip Orly]

And then you see like a 50 foot wave coming. They're like, I don't think I can outrun that.

[John Holmberg]

There were people on the beach in Hawaii yesterday watching, just in case. Yeah, like they deserve it. But, but that's weird though, that they can, they're like 10 o' clock tomorrow, Pacific time, 7 o', clock, Hawaii time. It just might all go away. How many people are at their hotel? It also might not, you know, we don't know. But isn't that true every day?

[Flip Orly]

Yes. Something may or may not happen. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's the worst warning ever. Something bad happened in Russia. Has Anyone told Hawaii August 13, Someone's.

[Flip Orly]

Going to slip and fall in the bathtub? Maybe, sort of, we don't know, maybe not.

[John Holmberg]

But we're pretty sure it could happen. So seek higher ground. It's the craziest thing in the world. You just don't know. And I always said that, like, you live in hurricane country. I'd never live on an island. And one of the biggest reasons why is if I lived here. And they pointed Camelback Mountain, they say every October or so that thing gets up and starts running around unpredictably.

[Flip Orly]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not living here. No, but you, but there you are right there.

[Flip Orly]

The thing of it is, the thing of it is most, not all, but most hurricanes come from like the coast of Africa.

[John Holmberg]

It's their fault.

[Flip Orly]

It is their fault. So you can, you can track them. And then, and then when it gets to the point where it's like towards the U.S. you go, oh, this is going to go up the East Coast.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Flip Orly]

Not gonna affect me.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Flip Orly]

Or it's going in the Gulf, and you go, oh, if it's going in the Gulf, I'm gonna start paying more attention.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Flip Orly]

By the time it gets in the Gulf, there's still three to five days before. Right. So, like, on two or three days out, if it looks like it's come to Lafayette, it's like, oh, time for a road trip. Yeah, I'm out.

[John Holmberg]

You get a job here in Phoenix, you start hypnotizing folks over at the Standup Life. Pick up your dog. You're working at KUPD every morning your dreams have come true.

[Flip Orly]

But, like, you know, tornadoes, earthquakes, there's no warning. No. If you have to be in a natural disaster, it's a good one region. I think your best bets are the.

[John Holmberg]

Hurricane, I would guess.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I would go hurricane, tornado, quaking, earthquake, tsunami. Because they're kind of hand in hand. I think that's my order. I think you're right.

[Flip Orly]

So, I mean, I'm living in the. In the best of the bad worlds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Of all the crap, that's the. Probably the one you can run from.

[Flip Orly]

Well, yeah. I mean, I've got time to go ahead and get, you know, my arsenal and put it in the car.

[John Holmberg]

Essentially, you're saying hurricanes are like bad guys in wheelchairs. You can get away from them.

[Flip Orly]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

But you know what?

[Flip Orly]

If I ran.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

If I ran prisons, I would take away all the weight equipment, and the entire diet would be Twinkies. Make them fat and. Make them fat and diabetic so that when they get out and they're paroled, they're not going to be a menace to society.

[John Holmberg]

That's not a bad idea.

[Flip Orly]

I have a plan.

[John Holmberg]

Why are we getting them in such great shape? We should just be feeding them nothing but sugar and starch.

[Flip Orly]

First of all, you're getting all the criminal minds, right, like, together so they can become better criminals where they plot together, and then you're putting them in good shape, and then you're setting them.

[John Holmberg]

Out on Gordon Brady wouldn't be a bad idea. Is he just kind of like five meals a day? Five hots and a mattress? Five hearts. We're taking that. You a queen size. We're going to make you guys so happy here. Fat and happy. That's not a bad idea for prison.

[Flip Orly]

I think it would work.

[John Holmberg]

All the tattoos would be like cakes and, like, they'd come out. Culinary experts have more chefs than we know what to do with. Send them to Africa. We're all. And start having them cook.

[Flip Orly]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

You changed the world accidentally right here, my friend. Nice job. Now let's get to what you're doing tonight. Tomorrow. Both nights you get to Desert Ridge. Improv is where you had go see. Flip Orly is going to hypnotize people. And then Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the 10pm Prep. You're covering five days this week, which is huge. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, one tonight, one tomorrow. And we. I just gave you the suggestion to have the hypnosis go. Ozzy Osborne is being buried today. Well, let's do an Aussie tribute.

[Flip Orly]

I wasn't going to. I knew he died, obviously.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Flip Orly]

But to do a tribute would be really fun.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. To have the people do all the work and have everybody can do kind of a terrible Ozzy impression. So have him up there knock out a couple of tunes.

[Flip Orly]

I may just try to figure out that that's nothing. That's a nice Wednesday. It's fine.

[John Holmberg]

You've got. It's basically an open mic test some stuff tonight.

[Flip Orly]

I'm in.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I like about Flip. He'll do it all.

[Flip Orly]

No material Wednesday.

[John Holmberg]

Let's see what you've got Wednesday. What are you good at now? I won't even hypnotize you. Just grab the mic and go crazy. Flip Orly tonight and to tomorrow. Desert Ridge improv.com is where you get tickets. Grab those and we'll keep you up on the weekend as well. Change the world again. Give us some words of wisdom, Flip. Tell us what you got.

[Flip Orly]

I'm transitioning.

[John Holmberg]

Are you into.

[Flip Orly]

I'm other than here in. In the Phoenix area. I'm getting out of comedy clubs.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Flip Orly]

I'm moving to theaters.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're gonna start doing theaters.

[Flip Orly]

I'm transitioning to theaters.

[John Holmberg]

Is this because they've asked you or you've just you've decided? I'm going to start booking.

[Flip Orly]

I'm forcing myself on them.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Flip Orly]

It's forced love.

[John Holmberg]

So you're going from these places to one night only at theaters?

[Flip Orly]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Feel like 1500, 2000 people.

[Flip Orly]

It's going to be 500 to 25.

[John Holmberg]

How do you hypnotize 13 people?

[Flip Orly]

Talk louder.

[John Holmberg]

And another 700. Don't be a dick in the audience. No, I'm just saying because you basically you say is if you want to get hypnotized, come up here.

[Flip Orly]

I'm looking for a donnybrook.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to have a tsunami of idiots, let alone the people out in the audience. The first hour is going to be just getting people off the stage.

[Flip Orly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You have to have like. Okay, only need 13 or 14 of you.

[Flip Orly]

I'm. I'm doing four hour shows. Two hours is just stage management clearing.

[John Holmberg]

How in the world are you going to do this? You don't know?

[Flip Orly]

I. I've done theaters before.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but I mean, how does it work?

[Flip Orly]

It's just. What? Yeah. You know, you figure it out.

[John Holmberg]

Man, oh, man, that sounds like a lot.

[Flip Orly]

I'm excited.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's too much.

[Flip Orly]

You said I was glowing when it first came in.

[John Holmberg]

That's why.

[Flip Orly]

Because I'm transitioning.

[John Holmberg]

When. When's your first theater show coming?

[Flip Orly]

Let's see. September 13th at the Marion Theater in Ocala.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Flip Orly]

September 17th at the Arts Theater in Hobart, Indiana.

[John Holmberg]

In Hobart, yeah.

[Flip Orly]

September 19th. Which is, I believe, our Pirates Day.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Flip Orly]

In the Park Theater in Holland, Michigan.

[John Holmberg]

So you're doing the Midwest stuff and you're.

[Flip Orly]

Right now. But I've got a bunch planned.

[John Holmberg]

And these are 1500 seaters. A little big.

[Flip Orly]

500 to 225.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. That's pretty cool. Geez. Our stand up here is the 600, right? At Tempe. We got some big spots here.

[Flip Orly]

The difference is it's going to be one show, and if I do like three hours, nobody's going to be upset. No, it's really hard to do three hours on a Friday first show when you have to go ahead and do another room and. Yeah, do another one. So how about that?

[John Holmberg]

All right, well, good luck with that. So a lot more money in that.

[Flip Orly]

I don't know yet.

[John Holmberg]

Fingers are crossed.

[Flip Orly]

It could be less good money. I don't know. But you know what?

[John Holmberg]

It's fun.

[Flip Orly]

I. You know what? Like, all the cool kids are transitioning. I wanted to also.

[John Holmberg]

You're tired. You're tired of these club owners is the real thing.

[Flip Orly]

Not.

[John Holmberg]

Not these, not these guys here, but most all.

[Flip Orly]

So I was doing. I was doing a club in. In Maryland, and they were horrible.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Flip Orly]

They were horrible. I hadn't even started hypnotizing people and. And some woman in the audience started screaming. I love my family.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Flip Orly]

I'm afraid for my children. And the club did nothing. They did absolutely nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Was she like an evangelist? She was afraid of your powers?

[Flip Orly]

I don't know, as a warlock. So they forced me because it kept going on. It was like five, 10 minutes. I had to leave the stage to go check on her. Her eyes were closed. I hadn't started Hypnotizing people yet, just so you know. And. And I go to the guy, go, do. Do you know this woman? He goes, yeah, it's my wife. I go, do you have kids together? He goes, yeah. I go, are the kids okay? He's like, yeah, they're fine. I'm worried for my children. Ruined the entire show. The club never did anything. She eventually left. Now I get volunteers up on stage. I'm doing the hypnosis. The club sends me a note. She's on the lawn in a, like, light, misty rain. Like, I need to go. I need to go check.

[John Holmberg]

It's your job to take a look at her.

[Flip Orly]

I had to stop my show.

[John Holmberg]

Leave the. Why did you say yes to that?

[Flip Orly]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Is she kind of hot?

[Flip Orly]

No. She was.

[John Holmberg]

She sounds like a pig.

[Flip Orly]

She was. Well, it's almost like you have a. A psychic moment.

[John Holmberg]

So you went out and checked on the pig. How was she doing?

[Flip Orly]

So I go to the feeding. I go to the husband. I go. I go, is she hypnotized it? Like, no. And she goes. She goes, you can't leave me. I'm like, are you talking to me or your husband? She's like, you. You have to hypnotize me. So I'm not embarrassed. I'm like, ma', am, I'm not that good. And even if I were, wouldn't do it because you need some shame. Like, you need to make better decision before going out. I go, what's going on with you? And she goes, I'm drunk ass. And then she dropped the F bomb.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Flip Orly]

I'm like, yeah, yeah. But no, like, what's going on with you? She goes, I did too many edibles.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she was high and messed up. Oh, my God. And did you have your mic outside talking to us?

[Flip Orly]

No, but I went. I went back in after. Because the guy goes, honey, the car's here. And she goes, okay, let's go. And she jumped up and she left. So I went back on stage. 80% of the audience had stayed.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Flip Orly]

So I go, do y' all want an update? And they go, yeah. So I told them the whole thing. Yeah. And then I go, I've never done this before, but y' all want to start over? And they're like, yeah, we really do. So I had to get volunteers on stage. The show ran, like, three and a half.

[John Holmberg]

You started all over. You like Ralphie May. You're running four hour shows you don't care about. And then you told the club, go f yourselves.

[Flip Orly]

Well, then The. The. The server for that table walked up to me and she goes, could you believe that woman? I go, no. She goes, by the way, she was passed out of the table about 20 minutes before. Yes. Volunteers. I'm like. And you did. Nobody booed out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This is terrible. What's the name of this club?

[Flip Orly]

I.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Okay, going back.

[Flip Orly]

I'm going to treat you like a phlebotomist.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Philippe Leap.

[Flip Orly]

What happens when a band does their entire set? They leave the stage, but the audience wants encores.

[John Holmberg]

Encore Encoura. It's called encore in Maryland, and it sucks. You're getting sued. That's all right. You're not going back.

[Flip Orly]

I didn't say anything. You're getting sued.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I could get sued. Trust me. I'll just ignore it. Just ignore it like a bill. Big deal. Pay those things. That's weird. All right, Flip. What could happen tonight?

[Flip Orly]

So you know what? But. But the Tempe Improv and Desert Ridge Improv and Stand Up Live. This group, they take care of business. They make sure the audience is doing the right thing and has fun and they make sure the show's work. But, like, it's getting worse around the country. And I just. I had made the executive decisions. Like, I'm. I'm moving to theaters. My show's gonna be better there, and I'm making it happen. Wow. Very excited.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty awesome. The comedian's leaving. He'll be. He's gotta step outside. I've never had the club just go. We don't know what to do. Maybe Flip will. He's busy right now. Yeah, but he's the only one that will know what. How to handle this mental basket case.

[Flip Orly]

So. The gal who took too many gummies. Yeah. And who drank to oblivion. And it's the hypnotist. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Let's. Let's make sure it's you that can fix. They thought maybe you could snap her out of her spell.

[Flip Orly]

I'm. I. My snapper doesn't work like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, I've. I've seen you do it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, she took a nap before the show. This is terrible. On course. I've never been and I'm never going. That's for sure. Flip, always a pleasure.

[Flip Orly]

Thanks.

[John Holmberg]

Enjoy your way. If you want to stay for the entertainment drill, you can too. You want to stick around for a little bit? He's already screwed up the whole day.

[Flip Orly]

Well, I've got the headphones on. I'm sticking.

[John Holmberg]

All right, He's. We've got some people you need to talk, we'll do some. Yeah, we got a couple people number on him. Brady's got a rash he wants you to look at. Also Dr. Flip Orly. This weekend it's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. It's Brett and John for Action Ride Shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa. The new location is your east valley full line bike shop with brands like P at Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain, Giant Norco. And of course Action Ride Shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus being so close to the Hawes trailhead, they have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and E bikes. Action Ride shop now with two locations, the brand new Shop of Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out at actionrideshop.com.