07-30-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 07-30-25 | Release Date: July 30, 2025

Hosts:

• John Holmberg
• Brady Bogan
• Bret Vesely
• Dick Toledo

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1. WNBA Incident: Dildos Thrown onto the Court

Timestamp: [01:08] - [17:05]

The episode kicks off with a heated and humorous discussion about a bizarre incident at a WNBA game where a fan threw a large green dildo onto the court during a game between the Valkyries and the Atlanta Dream. Bret Vesely leads the conversation, expressing both amusement and astonishment at the event.

• Bret Vesely: "They threw this giant wiener out at the Valkyries and Atlanta Dream game right onto the court. And I mean it's Google is a throw like no other." ([02:57])

The hosts delve into the potential safety hazards and the inappropriate nature of the act, while simultaneously finding the situation hilariously entertaining. They debate the reaction of security, the possibility of copycat incidents, and the overall impact on the WNBA's reputation.

• Big Dick Toledo: "The officials will say they will continue." ([01:45])

Vesely emphasizes the athleticism required to make such a throw, highlighting the improbability and humor of the situation.

• Bret Vesely: "Look at the arm on whoever threw this. This thing comes out of... It's 15 rows deep into that angled section behind the backboard." ([04:17])

The conversation transitions into a mockery of the WNBA's sensitivity towards such incidents, with the hosts suggesting exaggerated consequences and lampooning the league's handling of the event.

2. Teacher Funding and Classroom Supplies Debate

Timestamp: [25:03] - [92:07]

A substantial portion of the show is dedicated to critiquing the current state of teacher funding, particularly the expectation for teachers to purchase their own classroom supplies. The hosts adopt a satirical tone, encouraging teachers to quit their jobs if they are dissatisfied with their compensation and to stop complaining about the lack of resources.

• Bret Vesely: "Teachers, enough of you. I... First thing, you should have to even." ([65:03])

They mock the frustrations voiced by educators, suggesting that teachers' complaints about having to buy supplies are unwarranted and that teachers should take personal responsibility for their classrooms.

• Brett Vesely: "You need to be less fragile." ([26:40])

The hosts extend their satire to propose outlandish solutions for teacher grievances, further emphasizing their disdain for the current educational funding model.

3. Eastern Russia Earthquake and Tsunami Warnings

Timestamp: [93:00] - [86:58]

Shifting focus, the hosts discuss a significant 8.8 magnitude earthquake that struck eastern Russia, triggering widespread tsunami warnings. They express skepticism about the effectiveness of the authorities' communication and the public's understanding of potential natural disasters.

• Bret Vesely: "Nobody has any idea what happens after an earthquake with tsunamis." ([38:26])

They critique the global response, emphasizing the unpredictability of tsunamis and the dangers of inadequate warnings, while also pointing out the seeming lack of actionable information provided to the public.

• Brady Bogan: "Cover your ass. Nobody cares about the lives of the people in Hawaii. They're doing a cya." ([44:03])

The conversation highlights the frustration with governmental preparedness and the challenges of responding to large-scale natural disasters.

4. Tarantula Migration and Infestations

Timestamp: [113:07] - [167:21]

In a more lighthearted segment, the hosts address the unusual migration patterns of tarantulas moving into the Southwest United States. They share personal anecdotes and humorous strategies for dealing with sudden tarantula invasions.

• Bret Vesely: "If you see a tarantula in your bed, I'm going to take the biggest I've ever taken in my life." ([116:58])

The discussion includes exaggerated fear tactics and comical recommendations for managing tarantula encounters, blending humor with genuine concern.

5. Personal Stories and Anecdotes

Timestamp: [141:43] - [168:09]

Throughout the episode, the hosts share various personal stories, including John Holmberg reminiscing about past experiences and Brett Vesely recounting humorous mishaps. These anecdotes serve to entertain and provide a relatable touch to the show's dynamic.

• Brady Bogan: "I went to bed fine, woke up, double vision." ([142:14])

These stories often segue into broader topics, maintaining an engaging and conversational flow that keeps listeners entertained.

6. Advertisements and Promotions

Skipped per user instructions.

7. Concluding Remarks and Final Segments

Timestamp: [168:30] - [126:57]

The show wraps up with a mix of ongoing jokes, final thoughts on the discussed topics, and promotional segments for upcoming shows and events. The hosts maintain their humorous and irreverent tone, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.

• Brady Bogan: "I'm transitioning to theaters. My show's going to be better there, and I'm making it happen." ([157:53])

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Notable Quotes:

• Bret Vesely: "Look at the arm on whoever threw this... the most athletic thing to happen on that entire series." ([04:17])
• Big Dick Toledo: "The will say, look at where this thing comes from." ([04:13])
• Brady Bogan: "Cover your ass. Nobody cares about the lives of the people in Hawaii. They're doing a cya." ([44:03])

---

Conclusion: This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivered a blend of sharp humor, controversial opinions, and engaging discussions. From mocking the WNBA's handling of fan misconduct to satirizing the educational system's funding issues, the hosts provided a provocative and entertaining take on current events and personal experiences. Their unique blend of humor and irreverence continues to resonate with listeners, ensuring the show's position as Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Brady Bogan]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Brady Bogan]

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[Brett Vesely]

To make your summer unforgettable.

[Brady Bogan]

Download them today and let the adventures begin.

[Brett Vesely]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45 this the morning sickness and we're off and running, ready to go. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. Let me just cut to the chase of what's my favorite thing that's happened so far in the year 2025. Here we go. Hayes gets blocked by my Caldwell. Something flies on the car actually from the crowd.

[Big Dick Toledo]

The officials will say they will continue.

[Brett Vesely]

Play as that goes off the fingertips of the Valkyries and you can see the object, the block there and the object comes. That green thing bounces and it goes to the sideline. We're not exactly where we're not sure where it came from. Let's get a close up green thing. Any of that type of activity. Yeah, and no one's picked the object up yet. They chucked a green dick.

[Flip Orley]

Not a wig.

[Brett Vesely]

No, it was a green dick. At the WNBA game they chucked a huge green dildo. And I'm telling you what the the most athletic thing I've seen in a WNBA game was this giant green dick flying from what appears to be 15 to 16 rows. This dude had a cannon. He can chuck a dick. But they threw this giant wiener out at the Valkyries and Atlanta Dream game right onto the court. And I mean it's Google is a throw like no other. Like you. They did it in Buffalo. Second time I've seen this.

[Flip Orley]

200 people.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[Flip Orley]

We're escorted out for laughing.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. You can't. You can't make jokes about it after. Because the wig thing we learned. But just a couple these. This is my favorite part of this story. There were dudes who said, I have an idea. That awful WNBA. We can get tickets pretty close for like 20 bucks. Let's take a dick, go to the grocery store, let's stuff one in our pants. They're not going to check us there. Nobody at that thing. Oh, you had it already. Yeah. And you've got it ready. And let's just. Let's chuck a green dick onto the court. That's the. Brett sees the. After you go to. Go to the beginning of when they show the actual toss. Like now, you guys. No, no, you got it. Oh, no, you do have the. After you have the actual throw. I just wanted you guys to hear it first, as would the listeners, and then take a look for yourselves at this incredible throw. Don't pay attention to the vulgarity of the dick throw. You know, behind the meaning and all the stuff that it is. Look at the arm on whoever threw this. This thing comes out of. It's 15 rows deep into that angled section behind the backboard. I mean, look at the. Look at the distance. Oh, man. You see that thing? Back it up, Bret.

[Big Dick Toledo]

The will say, look at where this thing comes from.

[Brett Vesely]

Now that you know, watch this. From God knows where this gets plucked by Maya Caldwell.

[John Holmberg]

It's like Otani throwing someone out at home.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm going to say it. That's the farthest. Lorena Bobbit, John Wayne Bobbit's wife, never threw a dick that far. She had one. The Buffalo Bills fans that chucked him onto the field, never. This is from way back there, top of the key. And he throws it. He throws it to the top. They don't know what it is. They don't. The best part, the second best part is the. No, women recognize what it is. Like something's been thrown onto the court. It bounces all the way to half court.

[Flip Orley]

You've replayed it, Brett, or they keep showing up three times. I just realized the three point attempt was blocked so easily.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, she got no hops. Don't watch the basketball, brain. What are you doing?

[Flip Orley]

Well, I'm looking for the.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at this. Now, the dangerous thing is if one of these women would have been killed by a dick, Matt, it would have injured someone. That' hilarious giant dick. They get the cops out onto the Court.

[Flip Orley]

Look at that.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't recognize this. What is this? Every girl in the crowd's like, what is it? We don't know what. It's some sort of alien form. They have no idea what it is. And then there's one black guy standing front. Ladies, that's a dick. What? Why would we. And then they want to kick him out immediately where it came from. Look at the throw. No room.

[John Holmberg]

Security guys, even kind of smart.

[Brett Vesely]

No room for any of that at a WNBA game. No dicks allowed at a WNBA game. You think they'd celebrate a dismembered dick at one of those games? Inappropriate. Inappropriate, indeed. Get him out of here, whoever it is. That's right. Get them out. Get those dick tossers out of there. And guess what? They'd be fine to leave.

[John Holmberg]

Did they catch the guy?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know, but I. I don't know. And that I didn't follow up. I was laughing too hard, and I watched it too many times to actually do any. I. I braided this story. I saw the video. It's worth it. That's enough for me. I don't need to know what happened to that guy. He's a hero. I can imagine. It's like, all right, you guys have to go. Oh, no, you're. You're never allowed in a WNBA game again. Ah, not that there probably will get some. Oh, if they catch real charges, that's dangerous. And these women will, like, prosecute to the fullest extent because, I mean, there is no question that could have hurt someone. But the headline flying dick hurts WNBA woman is kind of almost worth it in a way. You'd never expect any of them to be associated with a dick injury. Brady. I'm not saying I'm for the idea of doing it again. I'm just saying had it. Look, I'm telling you, from my perspective, you can go on yours. If a dick. If a dick hit a WNBA lady in the game and hurt her, you know, I'd be laughing.

[John Holmberg]

The headlines are great. Neon green Dildo gets launched from fans throws Dildo on four. Dildo thrown on court.

[Brett Vesely]

The irony of a dick injuring a woman in the WNBA is too rich not to laugh. And now that in hindsight, Brady and I know you're trying to be nice, but you'd laugh too. Nobody got hurt. And when a flying dick goes onto a WNBA court, no one's hurt. That's good. But it had it hit one on the shoulder and, like, took her out for a couple weeks. All right, I'm Dying, laughing.

[Flip Orley]

I'm still laughing.

[Brett Vesely]

Dick injures wnba, NBA player. That headline can't happen.

[Flip Orley]

Hilarious now that you present it like that.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. I mean, come on. If you had the head. If you had the brave headline. Of course we have to play pretend in all sports. This is just an abomination and things like this can't happen and yada blah, blah, blah. Yes, it shouldn't happen, of course, but it did, and that makes it funny.

[John Holmberg]

The best part is the. The copycat people that are going to be throwing dicks on the.

[Brett Vesely]

On the floor. The best part is, is now security has to keep an eye out for dicks coming in, which has never been a problem in the past. I mean, if you're gonna get a rogue now, you know who's gonna be really pissed? Real WNBA fans when they search through their purses and find that all of them have dicks in there for their own personal pleasures later. Can't bring that in, ma'. Am. What are you talking about? I can't bring that in. That's my. That's my wooby. That's my. That's my emotional support animal.

[Flip Orley]

Every game now, there's gonna be a couple of 55 gallon drums.

[Brett Vesely]

Ladies, ladies, ladies, I'm sorry, you can't bring this in. What are we supposed to play with when the halftime we don't get no red panda? I'm sorry you can't bring them in. You got to use your rabbit. Oh, that thing's all worn down. Call me a jerk, but I don't care. It's hilarious. And even better, they didn't recognize what it was. Remember when it happened in Buffalo?

[Flip Orley]

It's a WNBA player injured by ufo.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. UNIDENTIFIED oh, ufd. Unidentified Flying with people are calling it a dick. We don't know what that is. They chucked one at him. And this on the heels of the day before, which we didn't talk about, is the lady who had her wig pulled off in the game. And you know what? If you've seen. Everybody's seen the video at this point, the two, the two things that she. She cuts around a terrible screen. I mean, fundamentally one of the worst screens ever. But the defense is so bad that it actually turned out to be a decent screen because the girl ran right into the terrible, terrible play, and she reaches up and grabs the other girl by the hair and rips her weave off. Or her wig pops right off, throws it on the ground like roadkill. In the middle of the game, the girl goes back and grabs. Nobody thought it was best cut was.

[Flip Orley]

Getting off the floor.

[Brett Vesely]

She took off and left. That's delay of game. Then you've got illegal substitutions. The other team should be shooting free throw. If a dude ever wore a toupee, oh, it's total. You can't just leave. She wasn't injured. She just ran away. She was embarrassed, so they ripped her wig off. And instead. And I don't understand why you're playing with all that anyway. And they call it, like, you know, they want to try to say it was a wardrobe malfunction, which it's not. It's equipment. It's a fashion faux pas. It's not equipment. Your hair is not your equipment. And in football, Troy Palomales get tackled by his hair and have ripped out all the time. They throw in a fit, hurt him. He was the dummy who did it. He never just ran off the field in the middle of the play to go get his. That's. But so they do all this stuff, and you're laughing. You're like, okay, girls. And then someone in the crowd. It was a Phoenix Mercury game, and so it was in Washington, but someone in the crowd made fun of the girl from behind the bench. And they're like, they stopped the game again. And instead of doing what is right, which is okay, one of the broads just ran away. You can't do that. You can't have your feelings hurt and run off the court. You can't do it. That's called quitting. You're disqualified. You can't do it. The guy that made fun of him behind the thing, they spent more time searching out who made the joke. And God, I want to know the joke. And had that guy removed for making fun of a girl's wig falling off. I've been to games where a dude's shoe fell off and he never heard the end of it. For a men's basketball game, his shoe popped off or like something had happened, and you get injured, and people will start yelling at you that you're a baby or how's your back? Or Anthony Davis street clothes. They wouldn't stop making fun of a man who actually had real injuries. Nobody got kicked out for that. You just can't use slurs and start, like, you know, verbally attack him. If you do and you take a risk that that dude's gonna come over there and pop you. But the guy got removed. That's why this was where I hear.

[Flip Orley]

The audio on that saying, it's this guy right over here. He was laughing.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you Hear that? That's actual real audio. Where the. Where the. Where the referee.

[Flip Orley]

Which one was it?

[Brett Vesely]

Referee's talking. They said what happened. They said someone was laughing and making jokes about that and made fun of her. Yeah. And like, okay. And they. And they went to go get him out. This is why the league can't survive. You're risking being outed in public. Like, they'll find him and you'll lose your job because you were the guy who made fun of the weave situation. Like, they'll. They'll. They'll tattle on you if you don't. If you don't fall in line at a wnba. I've been to baseball games. Harassment from the. From the crowd and, like, jokes and whatever. They'll make jokes about the visiting. She's a visiting team player. You're up for harassment from the crowd if your wig falls off. That's what you're going to be known for in that game. No, no, no, no. No one's allowed to talk about what happened on the court. Just play. Pretend that this is a good game.

[Flip Orley]

Imagine if a player around that screen and that the weave came out and the other player slips on it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. And then she bust her leg. Yeah, that would have been great. You're right, Freddie. That would have been hilarious. Pretty scenario is funny. That's good stuff.

[Flip Orley]

You got to put a.

[Brett Vesely]

And then a dildo hits her restriction. God, if it was the perfect storm where a wig fell off and dicks flew in at the same time, it was like, oh, I never thought I'd.

[John Holmberg]

Say this, but I'm almost ready to go to.

[Brett Vesely]

I want to go to that game.

[John Holmberg]

Just if there's stuff that's happening now, this is great.

[Brett Vesely]

Wigs are flying. It's like, wigs, dildos, everything.

[Flip Orley]

Brilliant marketing.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's like a World Star video. They're not that smart. They're 30 years in. They've never come up with the idea of. Of wigs and weaves flying off. I love it. I thought it was the funniest thing I've seen in sports in a long time. Not the dildo. That's not good. Don't do that. All right, kids, no playing in the house. You're going to hurt somebody with that. I hope we learned. I hope we got it out of our system. Nobody was hurt. We're all laughing. And now let's just move on. It's been done. Let's don't go for bigger is better either. And chuck one of those 20 inches. I know.

[John Holmberg]

King Dong's gonna be flying out of the stands next.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, if it. If it does, give it to that dude. Give it to the Tom Brady of WNBA crowd members. That dude has a rocket for an arm. They placed that thing to dead center. Beautiful throw. I don't even know how you throw a dildo leg, but that thing had. Had some speed. It had a nice bounce. Awesome.

[Flip Orley]

At least 30ft past the landing point.

[Brett Vesely]

Neon green again.

[Flip Orley]

It's a mid court.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they're chucking dicks at us. They had. They had to sit in the huddle and go, they're chucking dicks at us. When will we get what we deserve? But that's why the league isn't. I mean, the dildo thing is too far, but the league is no fun. They make. They make everybody who says anything critical about it a misogynist or a horrible person just for not liking the product I make fun of. You know what? Kudos to the Phoenix Rising and soccer. I think your product sucks, too. I think it's horrible. But that's just one man's sports opinion. Jerry Colangelo, years and years and years ago, he wrote down a letter to the media and said, good, bad or otherwise, when you talk about the Diamondbacks, you're still talking about us. We appreciate it when you're critical of us, we're fine with it. When you're making fun of us, we're fine with it. You're talking about us and that's it. And you know, obviously there's going to be a line where you're just not making a dude's family or outing him publicly on something. Has nothing to do with the game. If you're talking about the game. Talking about the game. I'm talking about the game. I think the WNBA is the worst professional sports quote. I'm using quotes professional sports product that has ever existed, ever. And they can't handle the criticism. They can't handle a show that would. Could you imagine a show on, like ESPN that was honest about this? The way they are about the NBA? If you're bad in the NBA, they wreck you. They should. They wreck you and they should. The wnba, they can't do it. These girls are fragile. Their hair falls off. Why would you play basket? I have a. I play basketball a lot again. And I've never once thought, I better get dressed up for this. I never once thought I should. Look, I gotta go comb my hair.

[John Holmberg]

And we'll see you put a Bootsy Collins weave.

[Flip Orley]

I mean, you mentioned it earlier. A lot of people were Saying that early on about the extensions in the NFL, like, why would an extension.

[Brett Vesely]

Right?

[Flip Orley]

I mean, yeah. Tail back there. And you see there's a handful of tackles that happen. Throwing the strands out that turd that.

[Brett Vesely]

Derrick Henry has shooting out of the back of his helmet, I don't know what that is, but he ties his hair up into what looks like a giant dread cow pie turd. People try to hold it, they get hold of that turd, but he's just too strong. And it doesn't hurt him if it gets pulled, it gets pulled. But if a man in the NBA decided, like, I'm self conscious of my baldness, I'm gonna wear a toupee out there. And it fell off. Nobody's getting kicked out of the game for teasing the dude for running away when his toupee gets knocked off.

[Flip Orley]

His entire team would be laughing.

[Brett Vesely]

He's legend for wearing the.

[Flip Orley]

Legend Jimmy Butler.

[Brett Vesely]

Looking forward to Jimmy Butler. Yeah. What's your hair gonna look like at media day when you come out with your wacky hair and Golden State? It's. Look, they're just babies. That's the biggest problem. They want the world to like their product and never mention the truth. I don't think you should throw dicks at them, but it happens. So there's nothing I can do. It's not the new plane.

[Flip Orley]

It's not the new glider on the court.

[Brett Vesely]

I can't stop laughing about it. I'll tell you this. Yes, it again. Don't throw dicks at the WNBA anymore, but to the dude who did it. You're a pioneer and you did a great thing, but other than that, that's where it ends. We can't have that. And it's awesome that you snuck a dick in. They weren't looking for those. Nobody had one of those. If they did, it was for like. They're not getting rid of it. Ah, the W. We in the wood. Skip that line. I peed my pants when I saw that last night and it was right on. Like, I've been watching that wig thing for a couple of days.

[Flip Orley]

They should have a hair tent.

[Brett Vesely]

They shouldn't.

[Flip Orley]

They shouldn't wear wigs and just put it over eyelashes and they can fix it.

[Brett Vesely]

Like they put eyelashes on those big ass weird eyelashes. They're wearing them during again. They don't. They're more about how they look than how the performance of the game is. They don't care about the product. They got to have their hair did before the hair ain't the hair's Got to get did. Dudes who have dumb hair in the NBA are ridiculed. There was that dude there for Charlotte for a little while that had that weird. Like, he looked like Darth Vader's ship. He had the sides up and the front down. And I was like, you look like an idiot. I forgot his name, but it was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. I mean, you can still have your hair done in a way that's performance ready. But if you've got, you know, you don't see a whole lot of dudes.

[Flip Orley]

Headbands are fine.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. But there's a whole lot of dudes out there with long hair. They bundle it up. They keep it together. No dude is putting his weave on or his wig on and saying, if it comes off, I'm. Guys, if it comes off in the middle of this game, I'm running back. I can't be seen without my hair.

[John Holmberg]

What's going to happen tonight at some WNBA game? This is going to be great again.

[Brett Vesely]

So I don't have to get in trouble by the company I work for. Don't go chucking dildos at him. It's already been done. We have the video. Let's just love.

[John Holmberg]

Come up with something new.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, let's. No, no. Because the next thing would be scissors, and that's really dangerous. Maybe kindergarten scissors. How about a Nerf dildo? That can't hurt.

[John Holmberg]

Brought to you by Fleshlight.

[Brett Vesely]

Those dudes, they had bad intentions with that thing, too. That was good. They threw it at them while they were down on that end of the court.

[Flip Orley]

I think the next thing will be wigs.

[Brett Vesely]

Chucking wigs.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[Flip Orley]

Like squids.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that's the thing. I hope that when. When a girl hits a three, it turns into what happens at the Red Wings games. They just chuck things all over the court, and they have to. Patrick, you get three threes in a game. Look. Yeah, Everybody chucks a dick onto the court. I'm with you guys on this. It'll never happen. You have to hit three threes in a game, and I don't think that's ever occurred. How about three me bounds? Three missed shots by person? Very possible. And they get their own rebound three times off the same play. That's a hat trick in the wnba. And then let's let the dick. Dildos. Dildos and wigs. I'll give you missing three.

[John Holmberg]

Missing three threes.

[Brett Vesely]

We're going to run out of dicks. Tie the. Tie the wig to the Dildo. Like it's dread pubes. And throw the whole thing out there. And then it would like parachute down. It wouldn't hurt anybody.

[John Holmberg]

Like those army men used to throw up.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah. With the parachute. Throw them as high as you could. And then we do that with. With the pube wigs to make a parachute. So the dicks just slowly float down from the sky. But again, whoever the dude is who threw it, you're a bad man, but you need a euro. I want the Cubs to go out and grab hold of you and put you on the hill. That dude can throw that distance. You don't even see. Just comes from off camera. It's out of frame. And it's. It's already middle 20. Yeah, it's 20. It's. It's 20. 20 rows deep. My seats are 15 rows back in a size. Let's take a look. Let's. Let's try to end it. Let's try to pause it right on the. Like right after this. She shoots it three from her chest. Look at that. Look at where it's coming from.

[Flip Orley]

An upper deck.

[Big Dick Toledo]

It was according to the article. They said it was from.

[Brett Vesely]

No one's sitting in the upper deck.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I know.

[Brett Vesely]

I forgot. This is the Atlanta. They. They only have like a 5,000 seat.

[Flip Orley]

Stadium because now I look at the.

[Brett Vesely]

There is no way. Timeout.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's Washington. Missed.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it is Washington. No, this is Atlanta. This is Atlanta.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Oh, it is.

[Brett Vesely]

They don't have an upper deck. That's. It's like the Mullet arena, the officials will say.

[Flip Orley]

I mean, because it's coming on a sharp angle, so it's pretty heavy.

[Brett Vesely]

He might have thrown it from the concourse. That is a chuck, man. Actually from.

[Flip Orley]

Or he could have just put it way up in the air.

[Brett Vesely]

Still a hell of a throw.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, it's even more.

[Brett Vesely]

It's the best. It's the most athletic thing to happen on that entire series. And you can first off, the girl shooting the chest 3 has it blocked before she even gets it to her face. I've never seen a shot blocked from three where no one jumps.

[Flip Orley]

I know.

[Brett Vesely]

I like in slow mo. Go back to that. Now it's getting funnier. The girl shooting. The girls shooting the three. Brady's right. There's actually. Nobody jumps and the shot is blocked. No one jumps and the shot is blocked as she tries to chest chuck a three. And then another girl throws an air ball. I didn't even see this. Look at the basketball that's going on while dicks are flying Around.

[John Holmberg]

I like the replay in slow mo. Here comes the dick.

[Brett Vesely]

It's hilarious. Oh, my God. All right, sorry, ladies. That's bad. That's terrible behavior.

[Big Dick Toledo]

See the ref signal?

[Brett Vesely]

Nope.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Continue playing.

[Brett Vesely]

Keep playing. But there's a dick on the floor. Nobody's. Don't worry about it. Nobody's even gonna come close to that. It's the wnba. They're gonna avoid that like they have all their lives. I like to get a close up of it and they get a lady like hovering above it like, I got this. It can't hurt anybody so long as I'm standing over it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Give me a towel and a garbage bag.

[Brett Vesely]

There's a dude in the front row explaining what it is. You see, this is what a male's male genitalia looks like. Ladies. We're not familiar. I understand that. That's why I'm here.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Have Atlantis finest take care of that for us.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that first block three. Brady's right. I didn't watch any of the basketball because why then the next three is just a wild air ball and it bounces off at two people. God knows who's at it.

[John Holmberg]

She's complaining about she threw an airball.

[Flip Orley]

Of the three people underneath, two of them didn't even see the ball.

[Brett Vesely]

Basically threw an airball and it bounced off the two people facing her that could. They're there for rebounds. This big dopey white broad chucks up an airball. There's the dick. I can't get enough. Oh, there's 52 seconds left in a tied ball game.

[Flip Orley]

Why can't the security guy just sweep it out?

[Brady Bogan]

Just pick it up?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, in case it's a bomb. I don't know. That blocked three. No one leaves the ground. Never seen it before in my life. My entire life.

[Flip Orley]

No one sees.

[Brett Vesely]

And the girls down for the rebound get hit by the airball. Cuz, you know, it's supposed to hit a rim.

[John Holmberg]

In fairness to sister Jesus.

[Brett Vesely]

In fairness to them. Oh, that is the best.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, they were avoiding it because they didn't want to be the last to touch it, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. I mean, the one that was boxing out was the one who ended up hitting it. Oh, my God. Boxing out.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Brett Vesely]

Sorry. Well, that's what it's called, Brett. And then it's a different game. Oh, and then they call the cops out. You know, the cops laughing. Of course he's laughing. Like, first time at it. Yeah.

[Flip Orley]

Here's my Jack Ray.

[Brett Vesely]

Put your gloves on. Pick that up. And the reason why they took so much time is because they had to cover it up. Look, the lady's got it all covered up, so they can't just walk off holding a dick. And that's more.

[John Holmberg]

I want to be stopped out of there.

[Brett Vesely]

What is that? She want to be accused of leaving the tribe. That dude chucks it.

[Flip Orley]

The block was so hard, she almost fell down.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. No. Well, you shoot from the chest like you're. Like you're a. Like, she's. It's like a shot put. I don't know why she's here. The coach needs to tell that one not to shoot from three anymore because she shoots from her hip like it's an 1880s Western. Anyway, that's. That's good stuff there. Thanks, WNB. I've never been more entertained in late July by basketball in my life. Awesome stuff. And again, pay them what they're worth, because, man, oh, man, if they're bringing this kind of comedy to the tv.

[Flip Orley]

That'S a bonus game.

[Brett Vesely]

You got their hair falling off, Dick's flying around. I mean, in that sweet Georgia Brown right there. I mean, that's good stuff. I'll be watching tonight. And the Valkyrie taking on the dream. I mean, everybody know. Name, name all the players that have. Have graced the courts of the Valkyrie and dream he got. Anyway, remember when that dick flew out there on that game? I do. That was the best thing ever happened. I loved it. I loved it, Loved it. Good stuff. Sorry about that, everybody. The wig thing is awful, though. The wig thing was the one where everybody kind of goes, all right, every normal person. Like, this is why we won't go. Your wigs fall off. We should be allowed in the crowd to laugh at that. That's a funny moment. You need to be less fragile.

[Flip Orley]

Some of the best moments in tv.

[Brett Vesely]

But think of male sports. They want to be treated the same, but these dudes just get barraged by fans. I mean, like, it's. It's some people. The heckling that happens to road teams, the booing, the teasing, the making fun, the. It's a. It's part of it. Like, you have to deal with a hostile road crowd. John Holmberg's morning sickness, the 98 KUPD. It's John Holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins dot com. If I told you I had an idea for a project and said to you, in order to finish the project, We've got about 10 steps to go through, and seven or eight of them are time consuming and could ruin the entire thing. Doug Hopkins. He offers you cash for your home as is right now. And that process is over. He doesn't change that price, you get $5,000 guaranteed. Your house is sold. Start the process online right now@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. If a guy's hair falls off at a Sun's game and he's planned for Charlotte, you will never hear the end of it. The crowd will laugh. What we did to Giannis Antsacumpo during the finals because he takes too long is to ridicule him constantly and then count down his free throw things. It was on the fan's mind the whole time. Get in that guy's head. If you give us the gift of your hair falling off and we gotta get in your head now we've got something, you're going to attack with it. Can't do it and get kicked out of the game.

[Flip Orley]

Of shame on an airball.

[Brett Vesely]

They completely have to absolutely loosen up and grow some thicker skin in the wnba. Not like that. Brent, stop it. Do have to loosen up.

[John Holmberg]

You want a little music?

[Brett Vesely]

You got some of that. The Atlanta Dream. I had a dream that one day there'd be a basketball team named after a woman. Smash. Why? I didn't ask for that. Hair and dicks all over the court. I had a dream today. It's dishonoring the memory of mlk. And I'm not talking about the dick flying out there. I'm talking about naming a women's basketball team after him. He never wanted that. It was in fact, I looked in his will. It said, just don't name any women's sports after me. That's all. Is that right? Yeah, it's around. He was on that balcony up there in Memphis. One thing, Jesse Jess Jackson. Just don't name anything terrible after me. Statues are beautiful and streets name streets after me. One thing I don't want. I had a nightmare. 35, 40, 50 years from now, team in Atlanta playing some sort of pseudo basketball would name themselves after my dream. They was all women. It was disgusting. Green dicks flying everywhere. Green dicks hair. I had a nightmare. Jesse had to tell him, like, you don't want that named after him. This is not an honor. Name it after a woman. That's another thing name. I know Atlanta's heavy on that.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Here's how the NFL handles a object.

[Brett Vesely]

They had the pee. Pees getting thrown out. There's a dick that got tossed onto the Bills game. That's just a. Nobody reacted. Kick it off the court.

[Big Dick Toledo]

There's another one here.

[Flip Orley]

Hang on.

[Brett Vesely]

Kick it off the field. Yeah, the bill's got. Yeah, there's a few angles. This is how the referee dealt with it when he went out and picked it up. It looks like crowd just laughing. Oh, my God. All the players walk right by it like they left it alone.

[Big Dick Toledo]

This ref finally calls timeout.

[Brett Vesely]

Get the ball, boy. Truck can't get enough of this boy. Oh, there we go. Listen to that. Listen how much fun the NFL is. Nobody went into the crowd. Nobody stopped the game. Let's go. I'm sure there's an announcement a few minutes later. Please refrain from tossing crap onto the field, you idiots. We serve you beer. We know this is the risk.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Don't we have a stadium voice guy? We need to have him.

[Brett Vesely]

Paul, please refrain from throwing dicks at the ladies, please. It is funny, but don't. Anyway, so that happened last night and that made my. That made my months. I mean, I had a great time in Vegas, but, I mean, there's nothing better than what just happened there. And somebody will. You can. Cause women's sports. Kids, shut up. That's hilarious. Nobody got hurt. We move on. But God damn it, that's funny. This guy said, I heard when it hit the court, Brittney Griner plays for the dream. Said, that ain't nothing compared to mine. That's probably true. Britney probably looked at it, said, who threw the little tiny dick out here? Who you pleased with that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just give Brittany your dick back.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, somebody just hand that over. I agree. I'm getting corrected that it isn't a wig, it's a weave. I don't know the difference. I don't care. But when hair flies off on a court, I find it hysterical. And you can tease that. You can make fun of that. Kurt Rambis had those dumb glasses and people like, you know, would make fun of that all the time. Wear those weird. Strapped them up. Watched a game the other day where Antoine Carr is a monster. He was a journeyman, but he was playing for the Jazz at the time. Had these Oakleys on them, strapped up. He looked crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Horace granted that.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. He had those goggles. Kareem, of course. And people would make fun of him. You go to the, you know, the opposing teams and the fans would be in, like, joke versions of those glasses or goggles. John.

[John Holmberg]

Never in my life I thought anyone could have a 20 minute conversation about a dildo.

[Brett Vesely]

Especially the WNBA game. We can do that. Trust me. You challenging me, I can make that happen every day. Anyway, it was fun. It was fun. So I will leave that be as it is because the WNBA will, they will contact the station and they will say, you know, it's just misogyny. Because that's the problem with the league, that anytime you talk about exactly what you saw, they get upset. They want your eyes to be fooled. They're like the wizard of Oz. Don't pay any attention to what's really going on here. Close the curtain. But when you actually talk about what happened, you have to fall in line with them or they'll start calling your bosses. And that's why the league can't make it. They don't have. They're so thin skinned that they need everybody to be Dave Portnoy. They need everybody to be like, see? Dave Portnoy gets it. He's a real man. Then they insult you for being something. And just because their product sucks, they won't admit it when someone says it does. They're a bad person. And you say, you say the Suns suck. The Sons are like, yeah, we're trying, but we do suck right now. Because when they suck, you can say, so it's not like I'm going to a little league game going, these kids suck. Because most of the times they do. But they're kids. These are women who are screaming. They want millions of dollars. They want equal. They want to be treated like, no, then we're allowed to. There's a Brett's looked up neon green dildos. What are those things for 20 bucks?

[John Holmberg]

You can get one for 10 bucks. Oh, it's got a suction cup and everything.

[Brett Vesely]

More than the cost of a ticket to the game. Yeah, hilarious.

[Flip Orley]

You know, I was thinking about the, the Folly films they used to do. The NFL the entire season. You can put one together in one game.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you could put together on one player in one game. Like, let's focus on Angel Reese and do a Folly video tonight. And you don't have to say like, tonight might be a bad. No, let's. I guarantee you you'll have a one minute reel. Pick a girl out of a hat, one of the starters and say, we're gonna follow her tonight and just do a funny reel of all her mistakes. You'd have a four minute video. It's great. I came up with this idea and I think it's brilliant. I was talking to a guy about the WNBA the other day and he was defending a little bit. Like a lot of companies don't make money and still pay their employees more, as they call it an investment. It's not that they're like, NBA teams aren't subsidizing to keep it afloat. They're investing in the future. I'm like, okay, fair enough. I'm like, but how about this? Like a comedian down at stand up live sometimes won't get a fee. He'll get the door. Give him the door. Let the lady split the door. Ticket sales. There you go. Let them split the door. That's your. That's what you get tonight. And it's a. That's your bonus. You'll get the entirety of the door or a percentage of the gate. Like you have anything. Do it with a lot of bands. Like, a lot of the bands will be like, we'll. We'll clear out what the costs are. You give us tickets and Live nation will make a deal with them where we get this. You get that. Live nation most times says, we get tickets, we pay you a fee, and then we try to make up on that. So, like, let's say a band is 100 grand. They have to set the ticket prices accordingly.

[Flip Orley]

We'll get a third of the ticket, right?

[Brett Vesely]

So if we're going to pay this team, you know, if the payroll of our team's going to be a million dollars, we have to make a million dollars. So the ticket prices have to go up to, like, six or seven bucks for the season. Because you got like 12 home games. And you gotta hope that you load up to a million and cover your cost plus your. And give them the door. If you give them the door, that's a million. Really? No, that's it. That's if they want their money. As if you've got, like, two amazing players.

[Flip Orley]

They change out the floor, right? It's a different floor.

[Brett Vesely]

What do you mean? For then the sun.

[Flip Orley]

For the. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. Suns have, like, five floors. Mercury has one, and it's horrendous. And give them the. Give them the gate if. And look, the girls in Indiana would be like, we're killing it. We're flat out killing it.

[John Holmberg]

They take that deal.

[Brett Vesely]

Absolutely. They're selling out the big arena. If the Suns girls got the door, you know what? They'd start screaming because it's how much they care about the fans. Raise the prices. That those girls on the court would be like, raise those prices. Let's get some more coming in. What are we charging? $20 ahead. Let's get 35. And you'd start alienating the fans because those women are in it for themselves and themselves only. They're not trying to make a better product. They're not trying to.

[Flip Orley]

Right now. They got the floor. They'd be shopping for a new city.

[Brett Vesely]

What do you mean?

[Flip Orley]

The attendances.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's not very good. Yeah, but you'd have to change the arena. You know, concessions would be less. They'd cut back and make more for themselves. They're not trying to make Rising.

[Flip Orley]

Did I mean Rising Session has crowds, dollar beer.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. I never hear the Rising guy screaming, they want what the dudes in European soccer make. We want our fair share. The Rising guys are like, we got to get to the bigs. We got to make this product worth it. I don't want to hear it from them anymore.

[John Holmberg]

I'll hear it.

[Brett Vesely]

The rising gives, and then they start drumming and screaming. I don't know what's going on. Those caballeros or whatever they call themselves in the. I don't know what it's called the end zone. Yuck. I hate that game. But you know what? I tip my cap to them because they can hear. They're popular and good enough at what they do to hear someone not like their game without losing their minds. Soccer's for sissies. I say it all the time, but that's my opinion. I don't like soccer. It's boring. I'm. I'm an American. We were raised that way. Go ahead and watch it if you want.

[Flip Orley]

At least they admit the flop is part of the game.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, the flop. There was plenty of bad NBA basketball this year. It's terrible product.

[John Holmberg]

Well, before Dixon weaves. Would you rather go to a WNBA game or soccer game?

[Brett Vesely]

Man, people have asked me that before. Is it a men's soccer game? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm going to men's soccer. Okay. Watch women flounder around. But now I. You know, now with dildos and weaves, well, that. That changes it. If their hair and their stuff's gonna start falling off, I don't want their clothes start coming off. Off, man. The only reason I say that is not because I'm a misogynist, is because the men are. There's no chance they're going to start crying for more money in the middle of the game. I don't want to hear your political nonsense. They started doing that. I don't want to go to that either. But the MLS guys, they just go out there and play soccer. I hate soccer. But I'd watch that because they're out there to just play the game. They don't have some agenda. They're just trying to better the team then move on to another level. At 6:22. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one maybe in honor of Dixon. Weaves. Is there a song called Dixon? There's boats and hoes.

[John Holmberg]

I will find one.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I'm sure it's gotta be out there somewhere. Check world star because that's the whole thing's turned into a world star. Women are fighting. There's weaves flying around, dicks in the air. Give it to us good and strong. 585 9, 800. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? All right, it's miles to nowhere. Katie and the Hobbs getting us through the morning. It's Wednesday. And yeah, enough of the wnba. All the emails are very funny. You're being very funny today, people. I appreciate that. Nice job. But it is. We should talk about a little bit the gigantic Russian earthquake that happened yesterday that had Everybody on edge. 8.8 magnitude earthquake that happened in eastern Russia. And they had one thing after another coming up on the news saying Hawaii is going to get washed. Washed out and Japan's going away. Here's what I learned yesterday. Nobody has any idea what happens after an earthquake with tsunamis. They, I mean all of the, all of the Pacific Ocean was on alert. They're just like, we don't know. There should be some waves coming in up to 10. Yesterday was the most. Cover your ass government, world agency thing just in case they all got on the same page, by the way, with the idea if you're gonna die and if we don't tell you, you'll sue. So whoever is in charge of the world's earthquakes, you didn't have one government saying anything different. They were all like, yep, science all got together and said, war in Japan, war in Indonesia, war in Hawaii, war in Alaska, war in the west coast of the United States. Warn everybody. The Pacific Ocean just might tip over and start spilling so we don't know where. So to me, that was a prime example of them saying, all right, get. If you're in Hawaii and they say, we've been in Hawaii, been there a couple of times. You were there for an earthquake once.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And they're go to higher ground. What's there? Like climb the volcano. Where do I go?

[Flip Orley]

How high?

[Brett Vesely]

What's. Yeah, What? We'll just follow the animals. That's what you have to do. The scientists may think they know what's going on. Keep an eye on the animals. If all the wildlife just starts running for no reason. Katie, bar the door. They don't care about roads, cars, or you or anything else. They're just running.

[Flip Orley]

And at Kona, the odds of you finding a mongoose running for high country is right.

[Brett Vesely]

But if you see them just all of a sudden, just like, we're going high, it's like, okay, those guys know something we don't. That happened in that Indonesian 2004, when people were like, it was weird. Like they. Elephants and things that just started.

[Flip Orley]

Even the running trained once.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah, they knew like, get out of here. Like, this is not good. Get higher. So just follow them. Because the scientists are clueless when it comes to that. And they showed it yesterday. They did a great job though, because it was Japan on pace and on the same page as Russia, Alaska, Canada, United States. Everybody was like, just tell them it's bad because if this thing hits anywhere and we didn't say anything, they're gonna go nuts and sue and whatever else. Let's save as many lives as possible. That we don't know what's gonna happen. They still don't. But I guarantee you with an 8.8 quake, there's gotta be a few aftershocks popping around up there, around. So they're, you know, the fact nothing happened was. Is pretty amazing. But I watched though, like they had. It's the disgusting tragedy porn yuck. Of cameras on the coast of Hawaii. Let's watch it come in. And they kept cutting it to it in the news. Like we're taking a look. Here's a oahu. Here's Honolulu. 10 o'. Clock. This thing might all just disappear. And they started to talk about wave surges of a foot. Like I don't know what that means. And then they tried to explain it to you. That was like, look, if you have a wave surge of a foot and it's all the way across and it's all the ocean coming in from that direction. That's the. There's more to that than like a 20 foot wave that just happens on its own, that'd cause some trouble. But a wave surge, like if all of a sudden it just went up a foot and the whole ocean moved towards a foot, it would be bad. I guess that's what it was. But they don't know for sure.

[John Holmberg]

So we had some good friends that moved to Hawaii. And they were. He was texting me last night and about. I don't know, it was about 10:30 or something. He's like, what a joke. I'm watching people on live feed sitting on the beach and the water didn't even touch their feet.

[Brett Vesely]

It's. And there's the other.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't know if something else is coming or what.

[Brett Vesely]

Cover your ass. Nobody cares about the lives of the people in Hawaii. They're doing a cya. Get up on top of a building. We told you, if you don't do it, don't get mad at whoever you can sue later. You can't do it. Don't get mad at the government for not warning you. Don't get mad at, you know, anybody. Your. Your house builder, you know, for not being compliant with tsunami. I don't know what the hell they build out there.

[Flip Orley]

Make sure you have flood insurance.

[Brett Vesely]

You're on an island. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Don't get in. Don't get mad at your insurance company for. We warned you. You should have picked up all your stuff and lifted it up to the second floor. That's horrifying. So I learned yesterday that earthquakes, a. They still. Obviously no scientists have ever said we can predict. They're getting better at it, but like we can't predict the winds, the where's the hows, you know, they just have no idea. They've got a few buoys out there that'll tell you. The water's acting funny. We don't know what that means either. Is there deep quakes and stuff like that? Has there been a split and a tectonic plate moves and it slip. You don't know. So they warned Earth, a Western Earth. Keep your eyes open. We told you about it. Oregon, all the way down to San Diego, Mexico. You know what? I didn't really notice. I got to be. They never really worn Mexico. They don't care about Mexico. It kind of stopped around San Diego. It's that Pacific Rim, that thing they teach in high school about like that. The ring of fire that goes all the way around the Pacific Rim. And it's just everywhere. Just where there's land, that thing's ready to. Ready to crack and explode. Horrifying. So to all our listeners in Hawaii, sorry about last night. We had nothing to do with it. I hope you're okay. But I watched a little bit like, well, what's going to happen? You see those videos of that thing in Indonesia in 2004 where people just stand on the beach and the water Goes away. Like completely and utterly goes away. Like 80ft. Where the beach go. Like it's huge now. And then they look up and it's a movie wall of water. And one guy's like run. And everybody else is like, from what? That's a pretty big wave. Pretty far away. It's like run. The ones that knew was when the water super receded, like it just went away and the smart one started running. I know what this is. This is. It's like. It's like moving a bowl of water. You tilt it one direction, it all kind of leaves one side and then it comes back. It's horrifying. And why I would never live on an island ever. It's never appealed to me. You can't get anywhere. It's beautiful. You can't go there. You were there when the earthquake happened in Hawaii and they did, they just said leave. And you go. Stood on the golf course.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, get up on the golf course. And then of course some idiot yells tsunami.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Because they're scared.

[Flip Orley]

People just started running.

[Brett Vesely]

Where do you go?

[Flip Orley]

They were running to the green. It was an elevated green.

[Brett Vesely]

Nice elevated green. Like What? Like a 15 foot up. That's a tough chip right there. Yeah. I'll tell you. Where do you go? Like islands are a thing.

[Flip Orley]

People, you know, started hoarding toilet paper and stuff. Electricity was out in the resort and we went to the later a couple hours left the hotel. I had a rental car and it was cool seeing the road.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure.

[Flip Orley]

Like in a movie. It's four feet higher than the other. That crack. Yeah. Like a split.

[Brett Vesely]

I was seeing that last night on the news and they kept showing people in their cars. Like, look at the traffic jams. Where are they going? Yeah, we're an island. How do you. Nobody even knows what's coming. Where do you go? Like, how do you hide from something you don't know?

[Flip Orley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

This guy said there's been over a hundred five plus magnitude earthquakes in the same location. So it's not over. Be ready for another big one.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I. I can't. Yeah. When there's that many fives. I was in a 44 once and I didn't know it till it was over. What was going on? That was a scary. I think when you were in was like a 47 or 4 8.

[Flip Orley]

It was a 6.

[Brett Vesely]

Was that a 6 down there? That was that big? That's big. Yeah, that's a good one. And they're weird. I've been a few like minors, like low fours, high threes. When I lived in California ever. And then you get used to it. You're in LA and stuff and your house just goes for like seven seconds. Like, okay. And the ones that are scary are the ones you think a truck went by. You think a big truck goes by, like, what the hell's going on? And then you realize, oh, earthquake.

[Flip Orley]

And a lot of laying in bed.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You weren't doing anything. And the whole world starts to move and you're like, what's going on here? It takes. It takes a few seconds and then you stand in a doorway. Like, I suppose this is.

[Flip Orley]

Didn't even do. Didn't have time to do that. You know, I was just laid in bed. Yeah. It seemed like it was about maybe two minutes, but I didn't think minutes. Yeah, but I, you know, at the same time didn't know, you know, didn't dominate to get into a door frame or something like that. Because you've never been.

[Brett Vesely]

I guess when I was. It was like 40 seconds. And that was evidently just really my 2 minutes problem because I've been in a couple that are like six, seven seconds long.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And they feel like an eternity. But then you're like, man. But by the time I realized what it was, I had already.

[Flip Orley]

And then you have the after. The little bubbles, the shocks, the after many weird.

[Brett Vesely]

So, yeah, but I watched and the news was all about it. Cameras real high. They got. They got them built in, real high cameras to say if this starts coming at us, we'll be live broadcasting the carnage. But yeah, I think so too. If we've got all those aftershocks. And I think another one.

[Flip Orley]

Price Coupe wasn't in the air in the black deep V T shirt. Anderson Cooper covering it somewhere.

[Brett Vesely]

He's probably flying over there and he's going to. They'll have him on a high mountain or in a cherry picker or something. He's going to be way out there. He'll stick Anderson Cooper in the middle of anything. He flies everywhere. He bombs over Tel Aviv and I'm like, oh, that's rough. And like eight hours later, I don't know how they did it. He's standing on top of a hotel in Jerusalem and I'm like, what in the world? Bombs flying and weren't you just in what supersonic tunnel do you know about? It's that weird. Drill a hole through the earth, you can get anywhere in 90 minutes. I think Anderson Cooper knows where that is.

[John Holmberg]

John, I bet Pratt's been in a 10.8 earthquake.

[Brett Vesely]

Buddy. I told it to stop. And it's a great idea, Meyer. I used to have earthquakes on the show all the time. Advent of the earthquake. One time we had an 8.7 just sex machine band played over at. It was over at o'. Grady's.

[Flip Orley]

He wasn't there. He's at his good buddy's funeral right now.

[Brett Vesely]

No, he's at Ozzy's funeral. He's talking. Yeah. He's one of the people speaking at the Aussie funeral, I'm sure. Yeah. That's on a live stream if you're interested in watching them parade Ozzy around Birmingham. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're showing pictures all over Social now.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a royal funeral. Like, they have it, really. Procession and it's. There are people everywhere there. There's, you know, flowers and junk laying all over the ground, and it's pretty amazing. So that might cause an earthquake. Yeah. Fresh probably on his way out there to eulogize Ozzy because every. And the place will go crazy too. Because in his brain, Dave. Yeah, in his brain, that's exactly what's happening. Yeah. There's Ozzy's funeral procession and the streets are jammed packed. There's Sharon and the family and. I mean, this is. Look at that. Unbelievable.

[Flip Orley]

That would be overwhelming for them, too.

[Brett Vesely]

Just.

[Flip Orley]

I mean, the outpour to see that.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Oh, ridiculous. They have. They have a thing there. I saw that. That's. I knew that about this. I didn't realize where it was that they named a bridge there. Black Sabbath Bridge. Because Ozzy is from there there or live there. It is crazy. And all the stuff and the people just pouring stuff out at the car and the roads. It's amazing. Yeah. Ozzy's funeral, it. He. He tapped into something that's weird.

[Flip Orley]

It is wild when you again, you hear the Prince of Darkness.

[Brett Vesely]

Prince of Darkness and the bat. He bit a bat's head off. He snorted ants off. He's like, man, we love that guy. Like everything he was to people that. All the people that hated him died. I guess that's probably it.

[Flip Orley]

Majority of those walls were knocked down when the Osbournes came.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I think that happened, but I think most of the people that hated Ozzy early on died off. They were all 60 and they're like, what is happening? It's never been different. There's always old people yelling at the world's falling apart.

[Flip Orley]

You don't think Tipper Gore ever came around on that?

[Brett Vesely]

Tipper Gore was never really bad about Ozzy. She just hated bad words. She. She was mad at Blacks. Tipper Gore was a racist is all that was. And that's weird because she's a super Democrat. She hated blacks. Hated them. And proof, by listening to one album and then making everybody say they say dirty words like we don't like, when they're. They seem very angry, they're gonna start getting mad at us. Tipper just didn't like black people. That was. That's all that came down to. If Kanye can say it about Bush and he's not 100% wrong, it. I can say it about Tipper. Tipper hated the blacks. Holmberg's morning sickness, the 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. And she's dead too, right? I think Tip was dead. They got divided. I think she's dead. Her and Mike Ditka died same day. Yeah. Yeah, pretty sure. Tipper. She almost killed me with that one yesterday. Either way, she. Every whole theory died off when the old people and their. The march of people against heavy metal died because they were all old, old when they were mad at it. So 10, 15 years later, they just went away and heavy metal lived on.

[John Holmberg]

Pur and Dick are still alive.

[Brett Vesely]

She's alive now. Once Gore got rid of her, I. I was done with her. I just got rid of her because she didn't give the good puss no more.

[John Holmberg]

Can't blame them.

[Flip Orley]

They're living in their solar house.

[Brett Vesely]

Not together, we're not. I got rid of that.

[Flip Orley]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Brett Vesely]

I dumped her.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't he invent the Internet, too?

[Brett Vesely]

Invented the Internet and global warming. Then I fixed it. Yelp, this one for no reason. Talking about the wnba. Hey, Johnny the Jew knows Holmberg. Someone threw a green dildo on an NBA court. Finally, a tool with more penetration than most of the players. All right, we already covered all this, jackass.

[John Holmberg]

Still funny.

[Brett Vesely]

And then I see this one, too, and this is a sign of one of the seven seals that's been broken. Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson are banging each other. All right, but they're still doing it. Yeah, and all I'm thinking is that Liam Neeson has to just think to himself, man, 30 years ago, I didn't know I had a shot. He's 70 something now, and he's banging Pamela Anderson after she says, I'm not gonna try anymore. No more makeup, no more effort. That's it. And now Liam Neeson gets to hit it. I guarantee you, sometimes at home, she's gone. The opposite of most wives. She doesn't try when she's out. But I Bet at home she puts makeup and slut stuff on and performs for her man. You know, because when she's out and stuff, she still looks good. Look, she's 60 something years old and she's still without makeup. You're like that. She's okay, I get it. I liked you better when you tried. But she doesn't try when she's out. She might as well just have the sweatpants and the dirty zeppelin T shirt on. And then when she in the bedroom, she comes out as barbed wire again. She's like, oh, that has to be it. She has to be in makeup and hot clothes for someone special. And Liam Neeson is now that guy. I guess that's good.

[Flip Orley]

She must have watched Rob Roy.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, well, she's into it.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, look, displays his piece on that.

[Brett Vesely]

The dude is, he's, he's Liam Neeson, for God's sakes. Who would have ever guessed Academy Award winner Liam Neeson from Schindler's List would be boning a chick from Baywatch? That's almost as hard to believe as the Bill Cosby rape thing or OJ killing people or Bruce Jenner turning into a lady. If I'd have told you back in the early 90s, you know Liam Neeson is going to end up with CJ from Baywatch. That's going to happen.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody thought CJ from Baywatch was going to turn the way it did either.

[Brett Vesely]

Nobody thought she'd be an Academy award winning movies or nominated. I just wanted to get inside of her at one point or another in my life. It took me 72 years to finally bed barbed wire. And he did it. That's a weird one. And now the rumblings of the what I'm now calling the WNBA of employment. It's back to school time. And you know what that means. Teachers start crying about having to buy supplies for their kids. Quit your jobs. My annual screen Stop telling us how much you hate your job and quit your job. If you're a public school teacher and you're gonna go to the news and we gotta buy our own supplies and these kids can't bubble. You knew that going in. Stop crying about the cruddy job you took. It's your fault. Now you got this big thing. Should teachers, should parents pay for classroom supplies? Teacher sparks, back to school debate. I had to buy crayons for all 28 of my kids. No, you didn't. You skip crayon day and you tell the kids, hey, look, I'm not buying you crayons. Your parents can do it. And if they can't afford it, then borrow. But I ain't doing it. And that's how it works.

[Flip Orley]

164 crayon box. They share it. They're down to two colors here.

[Brett Vesely]

Any of the knobs, you got to learn to share.

[Flip Orley]

That's a good skill.

[Brett Vesely]

Any of the knobs throw a burnt umber in their nose? That's their parents problem. Now you got 63 crayons. And look, it's going to cost you $9 a month to go get a 64 pack. And sure Hannah and Braden are going to fight over. I need the peach coloring in a white guy. I need peach. That's the color for white people. And then you got to wait or you skip crayon day. I have to buy supplies. No, you don't. I can't get my lessons done unless. Quit your job. They don't pay me. Quit your job. Stop it. Go teach at a private school. Do something good. I don't want to see this again. Start marching around again. We paid you more. Teachers a few years ago, that red for red thing, we paid you more, and you slipped from 47th to 49th. You started losing some more. You. You actually did worse. There's burnt umber. No, that's not Indian red. Is that still a thing? No.

[John Holmberg]

You can buy it on ebay right now for 17 bucks.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Nostalgia crayons.

[Brett Vesely]

15 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Get that Indian red.

[Brett Vesely]

It discontinued it because it's. But the people that hung on to it.

[Flip Orley]

Low in stock, pristine. Only one left.

[Brett Vesely]

Barely used indian red crayon. $16. That's gone well. No teacher can afford that. Every time I go in, the class is too full. I only make. Shut up. Quit your job. I'm a. But I want. This is my passion. No, it's not. Your passion is making more money or you'd shut up. Your passion is your bank account like everyone else. Shut your mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Leto staying out of this conversation.

[Brett Vesely]

She's one of them. She told me that I should be taxed. More jokingly. When the red fret thing said, well, they should tax people who make money more. I'm like, not much. And she did thank me after they got their money back and then plummeted Arizona schools down almost to the worst ones in the nation. That should have been contingent. That little raise if you guys jump up. Want your money back? Yeah, I want my money back. You went from 47th to 49th and you're still bitching.

[Big Dick Toledo]

So her first day back was last Friday.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

And so I've Been just around this malaise for the last three days.

[Brett Vesely]

She's been miserable. She hates it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

She spends too much time there. She comes home and it's like, I had to work hard today.

[Brett Vesely]

And I'm like, oh, they call it work.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Nine weeks off.

[Brett Vesely]

That was pretty good.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Where you went to California five times.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's a few times.

[Big Dick Toledo]

We had some good times. Now get back to work.

[John Holmberg]

But you know what she's gonna say? Well, all you guys do is talk about dildos flying out on the courthouse.

[Big Dick Toledo]

She does say that.

[Brett Vesely]

And I'll tell you this.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I haven't said, isn't it glorious?

[Brett Vesely]

I have the perfect answer for people who say that. Let's switch jobs. Yeah. You couldn't do this and maintain ratings for more than a week. End of the week of teaching by the. I'll have some. I'll have both. Semblance of a plan. I'll have some stuff going on. I'll teach them some things. Not only that, I'll be good at it. I'll be good at your job.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You will open some parents eyes that she cannot.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. I would sit in a classroom and it would take me about three weeks.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Pure level of honesty.

[Brett Vesely]

Three weeks each. You do my show for three weeks and tell me. All you do is fart jokes. Come in here and do this one day and you'd be blown away. It's like, holy crap. And I'll do your job. The first few days of teaching, I'm just gonna do some standup for the kids. I'm gonna get them on my side.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Then I'm gonna shock em, Bring a lot of candy.

[Brett Vesely]

Fourth day, it's gonna be like bipolar Holmberg. This guy's fun. And they start talking and they're gonna get louder.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You can dress differently.

[Brett Vesely]

No, the screaming and the discipline will show up and they'll be like, I don't know what to expect. Then they're on point. And now I'm the meanest teacher they know. And then I'm fun again. Then I'm mean. Keep them guessing. I tell them, you don't have crayons. What? Your dad doesn't have a job. I haven't seen my. My dad in years. Pathetic. Well, does your mom's boyfriend have a couple bucks? I'm not buying you crayons.

[Big Dick Toledo]

What do you notice about Johnny? He's got crayons.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, he's got a dad and he's got a dad and he's got crayons. You go home and tell your mom, saying, hey, what are we doing wrong? Because the teacher said that he taught me something today. Is that because you couldn't tolerate dad is why I can't have crayons.

[Big Dick Toledo]

How come Johnny's dad doesn't give extra crayons?

[Brett Vesely]

Take me a month. I'd be a pretty good teacher. I can tolerate that.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Well, the thing in this state now is they need so many teachers.

[Brett Vesely]

You do it, they take me. You could do it. Don't ever tell me all you do is talk about dildos. Oh, contraire, mon frere. And that's French. That's at 1:00 o' clock until 1:30 in the classroom.

[Flip Orley]

You're doing French at the elementary school?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. I'm gonna teach him some French. Some real good French. Try my joke. Don't ever tell me. All you do is. Let's swap out. I can wear a suit and sit in the desk and answer some phone calls. I'm the CEO. Look at me, Brett.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I like this.

[Brett Vesely]

Try this crap for four hours every day. It's not easy.

[Big Dick Toledo]

One of the things they started dealing at the end of last year, and it's gonna happen this year. There's a prevalence of Deez nuts jokes going around the elementary school.

[Brett Vesely]

I love it. That's hilarious. I would help them.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Hey, Ms. Montgomery, do you like Wendy's? You like Wendy's? Nuts are on your face.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God, that's happening. Yeah. Then you just. You discipline. Yeah, it's a little sick for those kids.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's the parents that are teaching them that.

[Brett Vesely]

I remember hearing in elementary school the joke when the song Come On Eileen was so popular. And I heard the joke and what's worse than a Bloody Mary? And then the name of the song was the Answer and my dad lost his mind. I. I told him the judge stopped him from mowing the grass. Hey, dad. What? Want to hear a joke? Nah. What? How old were you? 11? 10.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Oh, well, it had to be at that time, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Midnight runner is probably 82, 83. What's worse than a Bloody Mary? I don't know what. He's standing in the backyard. I remember the green shorts with the white piping cowboy boots. Because he always mowed in cowboy boots. He was afraid the blade was gonna fly off and chop his legs off. And a tank top. What? This is worse than mercy. He, like, immediately told on me. My mom and him had a talk. Like, where'd you hear that, Dan? I blame my sister. Like, she's told it. It wasn't her. It was terrible. So, yeah, you get in trouble for that?

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Brett Vesely]

But here's what I want to hear. Any complaining from teachers. You took the job. I don't want to hear from Lisa at all.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Well, tomorrow's day one, so, yeah, she's got to get her complaining out.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no. No complaining, Joy. This is your passion. You get to go back to your passion. You got to love it. You can't sit and cry and whine to the news about how you don't get paid enough. I gotta buy supplies. Like, this is not a. This is not a surprise to any of them. And yet every year in August, we've gotta hear them go, oh, buying supplies. And we don't have enough money. You don't save. Well, then, because you know how much you make, and you know you have to buy supplies. Why do I have to hear about this every year?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Alex came into the kitchen last night, and she's like, I worked really hard all day. It's been really rough. And Alex looked at me, and I looked at him. I'm like. Like, yeah, year 15 of this, dude. This is the 16th of August. We've gotten this hate.

[Brett Vesely]

August is always a thing. And again, no, you don't get paid enough. I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm on your side. I'm on the teacher's side. Quit. Go get jobs at bank of America or Merrill lynch or something. Quit your jobs and stop it. And put the public schools in the lurch. If you guys all quit, what about the children? Not your problem. You know, when Covid happened, you were all too quick to go. Not my problem. You do it. You had a chance to give them back to the parents, and the parents lost their minds when you guys weren't available. I'm on your side. Quit your jobs if it's too much for you. Now for the few weirdos that are still involved that don't mind buying crayons and making 27 grand a year, well, then that's just fine. But I don't want to hear you crying anymore. We gave you your raise. You're still mad about buying supplies. You sound like a bunch. I'm just gonna.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I knew we were gonna get a few of these. John. Flat rate mechanic here. Nobody advocates for us having to buy our own tools and do our own jobs. Or advocates for any tradesman, for that matter.

[Brett Vesely]

Have you ever tried to buy snap on tools? The good ones.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Jesus Christ. It's a year's salary.

[Big Dick Toledo]

More than that. It's insane Taking out a car loan it's insane. Our buddy Dave had one of those gigantic snap on.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, the toolbox.

[Big Dick Toledo]

The rolling toolbox.

[Flip Orley]

How much that thing cost?

[Brett Vesely]

It's insane. Oh, and then they deliver it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you can spend ten grand on a box and more.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it's crazy. Nobody ever screams out. These guys, you know, you get. I get no money and I've gotta pay my own way. We all do. So, teachers, enough of you. I. First thing, should we have to even. Who else is gonna do it? In the 15 years that Lisa's been complaining about this, has anyone stepped up and said, here's some money. Shut up about the supplies. You're screaming into the void. Nobody's ever gonna do it. It's like when Megan tried to get on that plane and asked to can somebody move? I don't fly well, and I need to sit with my husband. And everybody's laptops and everything went in front of their face like only middle seats were left. And then what'd she say? Nobody go f yourselves. We almost got on a no fly list, and it was terrifying. It's the same thing when teachers complain. Everybody puts the newspaper in front of their face like it's 1953. I didn't hear that. Nobody's going to help you and you aren't getting paid enough, period. End of story. But that's what you're getting paid. And you know, it's. So set aside a couple of bucks for pencils and crayons and shut up. That's my PSA to the teachers. Shut the up, period. Go to, like, Brady. Brady's got a school that just constantly just dings him.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. 7,000 for this list, 10,000 for that.

[John Holmberg]

Here's what you got.

[Brett Vesely]

And you know what? The teachers never, ever say, we have to buy those supplies for those kids. They just go to you and go, your kid needs a laptop. Are you guys going to give them one? No. You buy them a laptop.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Hey.

[Brett Vesely]

And they do it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

District bought the laptops for every student.

[Brett Vesely]

Good.

[Big Dick Toledo]

From second grade through high school.

[Brett Vesely]

And they didn't give the teachers any money. No. Brady school demands. He buys their kids stuff. Like, they'll call you and go, you know, your kids. Your kids clothes suck. Let's get some new clothes for that kid. What do you say? All right. By the way, it's a principal of Gilbert Christian.

[Flip Orley]

It was probably yourself three years ago. Was shocked by, like, we had to buy a calculator. Oh, okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, $500 calculator.

[Flip Orley]

200 bucks. I thought that's what I think turn it side. Use a phone. Nope. You gotta have to have the graphic one.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You gotta have the graphing instrument, the Apple. The iPhone One doesn't graph.

[Brett Vesely]

You can't download that.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You can't probably.

[Brett Vesely]

There's no apple like app.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I'm sure there is, but every school will tell you. Like Alex in high school, Mountain View, you had to buy the like. And I was like, 250 bucks for the graphing calculator.

[Flip Orley]

I'm like, Texas Instruments still making calculators.

[Brett Vesely]

TI still keeping it together. Well, they're in cahoots then, with private schools.

[Flip Orley]

And the day she came home, I lost my calculator. You watched.

[Brett Vesely]

She did.

[Flip Orley]

Nope. Luckily, it was lost, but someone picked it up and borrowed it. And then borrowed it.

[John Holmberg]

You can get an app for it now.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it's a graphing calculator right there. You can app. Brett found that app in two seconds. Lazy sons of.

[Flip Orley]

It might not be the right setup.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, either way, we had to.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Bigger thing is that the schools don't want you using your phone. That's probably true, so.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, then stop making me buy calculator.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Calculator can't text, so I was just.

[Flip Orley]

Shocked at how much calculator need to do.

[Brett Vesely]

That's pricey. All right, bottom line, be a better teacher and walk through and make sure they're not texting Brady school every five minutes. He's telling.

[Flip Orley]

And here's our wish list.

[Brett Vesely]

We got to do this. Got to set up an ice cream social. It's $53,000. Social. That's a good ice cream.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Like the one time they asked you for something, Was it a day later? Oh, by the way, tuition's due.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they knock you stiff on everything. Probably gonna raise that next year, liking the looks of these.

[Flip Orley]

Last year, it's the last year. Then we get into the real fees.

[Brett Vesely]

Nah. College. If she's smart enough, if this school did their job, she gets into a college for dirt. How we looking?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Is she smart enough?

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, she's getting some.

[Brett Vesely]

Good. She's gonna get a scholarship because Alex wasn't.

[Flip Orley]

She chooses whatever school. The three that she's looking at. She does get some scholarships. To what amount? We'll find out.

[Brett Vesely]

Because it's. Because the Christian ties.

[Flip Orley]

There's that.

[Brett Vesely]

So it's some sort of a weird.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Expensive school, even.

[Flip Orley]

Look at you. No, not.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no. They're cheaper because, like, Grand Canyon will suck up all these Christian kids.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Expensive. Grand Canyon's more expensive than.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no, no. They'll take the Grand Canyon kids. The Christian thing. And it's kind of. It's not really racism, but it's like they'll. They'll look past. They'll look past those super A student who go to like Dobson for like a C student who's already Christian. I don't have to deal with their nonsense. So they'll bring in a Christian kid who's not as smart as a. Like, you know, C stands for Christian. One of these street urchins. Yeah. That went to a public school. But look what the public schools did. They're begging for more money. And I look at Toledo's kid and I'm like, product of. Product of public school.

[Big Dick Toledo]

He'll find his passion, John.

[Brett Vesely]

Someday I hope it's teaching. Then you get two of them. How appropriate would that be?

[Flip Orley]

They need teachers.

[Brett Vesely]

Brady School right now is thinking, when school starts in a couple weeks. We haven't hit Brady. Call him up and get him to pay for some stuff and then threaten him if he doesn't.

[Flip Orley]

They've already put out stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I'm sure there's going to be more. You're not done yet.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Alex worked the after school program when he was a senior. He got paid for it. And I'm like, dude, you should do that.

[Brett Vesely]

Be a PE teacher.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You have like one class a day.

[Brett Vesely]

PE teacher. Yeah, yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

They still have those.

[Brett Vesely]

But you have to. You have to actually be qualified for it. Be a pet. No, I think there's like a. I don't think so. I don't think so.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I think you just roll out some balls.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

War ball.

[Flip Orley]

Kickball.

[Brett Vesely]

Allowed to play any of those.

[John Holmberg]

The parachute and everything else.

[Brett Vesely]

Do parachute every day.

[Big Dick Toledo]

It hasn't changed in 40 years.

[Brett Vesely]

Either way.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Calisthenics, teachers.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm telling you right now, go old jitterbug. Bring back the Zip it. And then go over to Brady School and say, I'd like to work here. Here. I'm sure they'd hire you. Just play pretend you're Christian. Love of God's lambs. And they'll be like, hired. We love it. Get paid 75,000 more a year teaching a Brady School.

[Flip Orley]

Today we're going to play Smear the.

[Brett Vesely]

Straight because we have no queers in a Christian school. That's gross. You've all learned something today. Queer is gross. The eyes of your Lord. And if you believe it, Grand Canyon will take it real quick. That's what Christian schools do. And they're smart. Kids come out of Grand Canyon smart because they take them and they say, you're already in the system. It's a smart thing to do. I don't know. They go to Brophy. It's kicking down doors into colleges. It's like having a resume.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Smart. I'm just tired of it. Teachers are so loud about this every year. And here we go. I didn't even realize it was back to school, of course, until I flip on the news or I'm going through and scrolling through some stuff. My teachers are mad again. I'm like, oh, it must be August. And I'm telling you, I'm on your team. You guys yell at me every. I'll get a couple people. How many emails have I read of teachers? Like, I finally listened and I quit my job. I've never been happier. Dude got a job at Home Depot. Another dude got a job at a construction site managing paperwork and drafting things because that's what he was qualified to do after all those years of, you know, I don't know what he taught. Architecture or something. Smart things. Geometry. I'm not sure what he did. He's like, I'm doing work for construction. Couldn't be happier. Yeah, you're getting paid a fair wage. You don't have to worry about buying your co workers things. Brady figured out a long time ago. Ago. You start paying for your kid in high school, you don't have to pay for college. It's genius.

[Flip Orley]

You hope.

[Brett Vesely]

Just as long as they're not idiots. And that's still your fault if she is. I mean, if she rolls out of there after all this. Yeah. No. Toledo's proof. Proof he's the idiot. Like, he just pushed his kid. Oh, boy. You want to sell pants for a living? Okay. And you. You were, too.

[Big Dick Toledo]

And you have to encourage it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's great, dude. You don't have to.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Awesome.

[Brett Vesely]

Look. What. Look where that encouragement got you. You. You stamp that, and you stamp his dreams down.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah, they should have done that.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, if you spend all that money and Kirby rolls out D's and then doesn't get into a college, that's your fault.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. But you got to tell them.

[Flip Orley]

And that's what. You know, it's always been two. Two Cs.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. We're.

[Flip Orley]

We're moving out.

[Brett Vesely]

Pick it up, sister. Yeah. Keep your B's and A's. And the reason why you allowed the.

[Big Dick Toledo]

One C, it's the second one that.

[Flip Orley]

The second one you got, and it finishes a C, but you close the.

[Brett Vesely]

Door on that, and the next thing you know, this. This Grand Canyon. And I don't know Other Christian schools. There's probably a couple others they'll start calling you.

[Flip Orley]

Oh, yeah, Every.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Every school in Mesa, I think, is another one.

[Flip Orley]

She gets Colorado, Iowa.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, all over. They like it.

[John Holmberg]

Hell, my dad would have been thrilled with C's.

[Brett Vesely]

Same. Really? Okay, good.

[John Holmberg]

You're passing.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Especially my senior year.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, it was great. Cs were great. Oh, yeah, that was the A.

[Brady Bogan]

I.

[Brett Vesely]

Didn'T save them any money on college.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, I'd have been accused of cheating.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll tell you this. They didn't. Didn't spend a penny on me all through school. As far as paying for my school. You're making an investment in hopes that their college is cheaper because you paid for their high school. And it's gonna work, Brady, this is smart. You won't be driving back and forth to Tucson or Oracle to try to figure out how to get those cinder blocks out from under your kid's table to move her back home. Yes, it's exactly what Toledo had. Cinder blocks and boards. Multi. Multi trips to Tucson to go, you know, get him a new 2x4 to balance out his kitchen table.

[Big Dick Toledo]

One more left. Because all his crap's in storage down there.

[Brett Vesely]

Why?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Because he was gonna go back, John.

[Brett Vesely]

For what?

[John Holmberg]

You knew he wasn't.

[Brett Vesely]

You should just packed it up.

[Big Dick Toledo]

No, no, no. I told him, that's fine. I said, but you're paying for it.

[Brett Vesely]

It. And so you're paying for it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

When he realized that and he didn't have a job in three weeks, I told him, I'm like, where you going?

[Brett Vesely]

Where are you going? So you're still paying for a storage facility?

[Big Dick Toledo]

He's paying Richard. He's been paying Richard. Trust.

[Brett Vesely]

You're going to get a letter.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Whatever doordash money. I told him I like. You lose your stuff, you lose your stuff. That's it.

[Brett Vesely]

If you're on stuff you want to.

[Big Dick Toledo]

If you're on Storage wars, then that's it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Did he keep it?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Good luck to that guy, by the way. For winning that unit.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a bunch of cinder blocks and a piece of plywood. Must be a table.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Good IKEA stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's kids table and a Billy.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You don't want the mattress?

[Brett Vesely]

No, you don't want the mattress. That, my friend, is a barn. Just squirts everywhere. Talk about a tsunami warning. Turn that mattress over once. This sounds like a waterbed. It's not. Oh, my God.

[Flip Orley]

There's a light on the bedroom door. At least you know when it's on. Like you're on. On the air here, you can tell the light likes.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. When it's.

[Flip Orley]

When there's.

[Brett Vesely]

When he's got. Do not open the door on the bed. Yuck. Yeah. Anyway, back to what I was originally talking about before we got off on Toledo's, you know, kit. What were we talking about? His slow child. You'll get there.

[Flip Orley]

Alex Kirby got to paint her parking spot.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Excuse me.

[Flip Orley]

That's a money maker form.

[Brett Vesely]

You have to buy a singular if you want to.

[Flip Orley]

If you. Basically, your senior year, you get to pick your parking spot, and if you want to pay it, you'll want to paint it. You pay a fee, and then it's brilliant.

[Brett Vesely]

Hold on. Quiet down. Tell me what. I don't care about Alex anymore. This is ridiculous. How much is that? That?

[Flip Orley]

I think 100 bucks for the spot.

[Brett Vesely]

$100 for the spot?

[John Holmberg]

For it.

[Brett Vesely]

For the year?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah, for the year.

[Flip Orley]

For the year.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not bad.

[Flip Orley]

And then you buy the paint?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, if you want to.

[John Holmberg]

What a grift.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you have to include God or something in it? Like, you have to. Is it approved?

[Flip Orley]

Oh, here's.

[Brett Vesely]

Can I paint the devil in this place? You can put Slayer right there.

[Flip Orley]

Kirby went with Pete the cat. That's not finished, but there's a start. There's a book about this cat that can play guitar and.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Flip Orley]

It was a. One of her favorite childhood books growing up.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Flip Orley]

And the next one over, who's doing the painting?

[Brett Vesely]

That's not bad.

[Flip Orley]

She did. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And then so she's got her car, and then so she goes down, and she's allowed to paint whatever she wants in there.

[Big Dick Toledo]

So they're teaching vandalism at that school?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Can I also.

[Flip Orley]

They can tag. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Can I also, like, in the middle of the year, change it? I own that space.

[Flip Orley]

No, they. You do it at the beginning of the year, and then that's your space.

[Brett Vesely]

But I can't take a weekend later and repaint something new.

[Flip Orley]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, if I went in there right now and did the CEO and the Coldplay concert in the middle of the screen. I just redid, like, current events. I was really good at art. I think he could maybe better. It's your spot. They have to.

[Flip Orley]

Well, so they submit. They submit what? They want to paint in the spot first and get approval.

[John Holmberg]

Green dildo, right?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Big green day.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not a bad idea. Oh, you have? Yeah, because they have to approve it. Yeah. So you can't.

[Flip Orley]

She got approved for Pete the cat, and then the Other one was a Kanye album cover.

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[Brett Vesely]

Can't do that.

[Flip Orley]

Oh, that got approved.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. Gilbert. Of course it was.

[John Holmberg]

And Gilbert.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, he's a Nazi. Can't go painting Nazis in the middle of a parking lot.

[Flip Orley]

I. I persuaded pizza cat.

[Brett Vesely]

Are you. You go one way or the other. You can go with a Nazi or the cat.

[Flip Orley]

But you look at it like. I would have never known that's a Kanye West. I don't know what's on the, you know, animated spaceship.

[Brett Vesely]

Right. Big Kanye fan. You have to talk with her about that. Sit back.

[Flip Orley]

She laughs at that. The fact that he's gone into a meltdown, sure. But she likes. Liked the music before.

[Brett Vesely]

You know who the blame for all that is, daddy? The Jews. Where are you learning this? Curves school. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Let's go get high, Daddy Chronic. Yeah, she should have. They're not gonna allow you to put a spliff in the parking lot. You're not painting a joint.

[Flip Orley]

Oh, yeah. No. None of that stuff gets approved.

[Brett Vesely]

Kanye hates the Jews. Can't do that. He's off limits. That's like paint no J's jersey in there.

[Flip Orley]

I think it probably slipped by because they had no idea. That looks like a cartoon.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure. But then they're dumb. What is. They didn't ask. What the hell is this?

[Flip Orley]

What is it? Kanye West's second alien when he was a genius.

[Brett Vesely]

We're not putting any Kanye Nazi stuff down there, you nut bags. I don't know what the cat is, though, but good. See, that's a good thing. You're just throwing a few bucks for paint.

[Flip Orley]

150.

[Brett Vesely]

She goes out there, and now you.

[John Holmberg]

Know the exact 150 for paint.

[Flip Orley]

Paint brush, roller supplies. Yeah, maybe even a little more.

[Brett Vesely]

Base coat.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, he had the base coat. Ran a little low on that.

[John Holmberg]

I just went to Home Depot, hired some guys to do it. Screw that.

[Brett Vesely]

Kirby.

[Flip Orley]

Who's. Who's your. She did have a couple of friends help her.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, Sir Juan and Hazy. These are two new. Better than some white girl from Gilbert.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

Lord bless you. It's written in old English.

[Flip Orley]

That is a brilliant idea.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. Kirby's name in old English and a painting of Tupac or something.

[Flip Orley]

What's with the letter cream? Cash rules everything around me.

[Brett Vesely]

We didn't know what Butyr cat was, so we painted peso pluma. He's the Mexican murder artist. Yes. Yeah. I don't understand that at all, but there it is. Congratulations. Toledo's kid's still at home. Brady's daughter. No teachers complain. Never here ever have I seen Gilbert Christian on TV crying about their pets. Never once. Never once. So teachers go get a job at one of these schools.

[Flip Orley]

They disappear.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, because they show up and they're like, we'd like to teach here. And like, we're all full up. It's like a great place to work. We have to go work at the public schools. Well, you're not good enough. You're not good enough to get into the good schools.

[Flip Orley]

Bend the knee.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I tried. Exactly. I tried to work a great hard. They didn't hire me. Then you're not good enough. You're in the triple A of teaching. Get into the pros of. Go be a good teacher somewhere. Now. The super Nintendo of schools. I'm sure Shelly Boggs is gonna text me any second now and start screaming at me about it. I don't. You know, I'm not wrong. Quit your jobs. You get paid plenty. You get paid plenty. You don't have to buy supplies for those kids. I don't wanna hear you telling yet. A Gibson's beautiful hair. We had to buy supplies. No, we didn't have to do anything. If you're a good teacher, you don't need supplies. How about that?

[Big Dick Toledo]

I remember going back school shopping, but it was always for like a glue stick, some pencils, and that was about it.

[Brett Vesely]

You bought the stuff. Yeah. Your parents bought it.

[Flip Orley]

You'd buy your notebook.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's what I mean.

[Brett Vesely]

And the poor kids didn't get anything. The problem was the poor kids would come to school with nothing and they wouldn't get to play. And then they remained poor. And that's the way it should be.

[Big Dick Toledo]

There was a. There was a box of pencils that Mrs. Snow kept on her desk for the poor kids.

[Brett Vesely]

You teach ambition. Yeah. You don't coddle the ones who don't have it. Say sorry. You got to figure out a way to, you know. You got to borrow from Brady and you know, DJ Lisicki would borrow from me. Was broke. There were smelly. The smelly kid, Seth, I think his name was. He'd come over. He's dead. Poor Roosevelt Elementary School. Just dirty. Every day is like pig pen. And he sat next to me and would borrow my stuff. I would loan it to him because I wasn't going to say no. I didn't care.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You were taught to.

[Brett Vesely]

But you teach ambition.

[Flip Orley]

I handed so many generators out in elementary school.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. Brady gives stuff to People, you were a kid. You didn't have that problem at your school where the dirty poor kid would roll into upright, killed and eaten him for lunch.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Kirby could have made that 100 bucks back by taking the generator with her and helping people use it. Could be a great idea.

[Flip Orley]

Missed another opportunity.

[Brett Vesely]

Bottom line was, back in the days the teacher didn't buy you anything. You borrowed. You found your way around when you were broke and you didn't have it. Can I borrow a pencil? Was like something I said every day. Oh, I forgot my pen. Do you have a pen? And somebody would either say yes or no. Give it back to me. That was the big phrase. Give it back when we're done. All right, you're right. No, no, I won't steal your stuff.

[Flip Orley]

And you learned.

[Brett Vesely]

And you learned.

[Flip Orley]

Can you get it back?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Not gonna borrow that. Dude's off the list.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You still owe me a penny. Teachers stop buying stuff. Teach ambition. The poor kids stay poor if they sit in the corner with their arms folded. That's their life. That's they've chosen that I hate the teacher argument so much. I hope 10 of you quit today. And I hope you throw my name around when you do it. When you see those ugly little kids walk into your classroom today, first day of school, and you look around, you go, this isn't for me anymore. Don't melt down. Just leave. And start the whole thing with, how many of you are poor? And I'm like, what? I'm not buying any of you this year. Figure it out. You better have good memorization skills, because I ain't buying you. Your parents don't do it. Why should I? I'm poor, too. I'm a teacher, idiots. And then spend the next week teaching them what jobs not to get in the future and start off with yours. Do not pursue public education at all. Let me just drill this into your heads, kids.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Chris figured it out. Year one up at nau.

[Brett Vesely]

He was trying to teach.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Well, he was going to be a music teacher because he was. He liked his music teacher a lot.

[Brett Vesely]

Thought it was poor for sure.

[Big Dick Toledo]

He went up there and we started telling him, like, dude, you don't like kids. Like you.

[Brett Vesely]

You.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You don't like them.

[Brett Vesely]

What are you gonna do?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Go to an elementary school?

[Brett Vesely]

You're going to hate it, and you're gonna be poor. And he.

[Big Dick Toledo]

And he finally was like.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, you're right.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Said, go for the music degree, but figure out what you want to do.

[Brett Vesely]

Write a song or something. Learn to rap. Do something, but don't teach kids if you don't like kids. That's a bad idea to start with.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Exactly. So he changed his major.

[Brett Vesely]

Is he living at home again?

[Big Dick Toledo]

No, no, Chris on his own.

[Brett Vesely]

He's still in Flag. Still working at the Sip and Go. Yep.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Stopping Rob.

[Brett Vesely]

Smoking weed every day. Oh, yeah. I love that kid. Yeah, yeah, he's got it figured out. Yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Bought a ten thousand dollar instrument with his own money.

[Brett Vesely]

Hear that, Alex? How is it that two people that didn't smoke weed at all just raised two Wheaties? Beyond good God, I don't know. Those kids. Can't they smoke everything?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Chris was pure until like his senior year. I think he did it at first time. And then when he hit nau just loved it.

[Brett Vesely]

It was off the.

[Flip Orley]

It's just a natural feeding program.

[Brett Vesely]

I guess he loves it. But the other one too.

[Flip Orley]

Oh, yeah, that's college too.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I think they've both settled a little bit on that. But when Alex first moved back, I'm like, dude, you cannot bring that into the house. I don't do it in the house. So then you gotta air out outside.

[Brett Vesely]

You stink, man. Yeah. High five. This is awesome. I have to buy paint supplies. So some stupid cat gets painted in a parking lot or weed supplies.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I told. I think I told you guys. I think it was Christmas last year. Chris comes down and we're doing like a family dinner. And we get back from Lisa's sister's house and boys are getting along. They're like, wow, this is great. And we get in the house and Lisa and I turn around, both boys are gone. Like, where'd they go? Check their location there at the park, in the neighborhood, crushing the dope, coming back and I'm like having, like, really? You couldn't. Like you. You were just jonesing the whole time.

[Brett Vesely]

At family dinner, crushing the dope. Like, what? What? Don't.

[Brady Bogan]

What?

[Brett Vesely]

Came back all pie eyed, looking at you like, I'm hungry, old man. Only way I can tolerate those two. Get back in that house. I got to be so high to look at Toledo.

[John Holmberg]

Got any Doritos?

[Brett Vesely]

How do you think I feel, man? That's my dad. I'm with you, bro. Let's just go get caked and forget that we exist.

[Flip Orley]

How many times you catch him in the wood shop making a little dugout one hitter?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Oh my God. I'm sure he was whittling something.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You know, I usually agree with John, however. Here we go.

[Brett Vesely]

Here we go.

[Big Dick Toledo]

No kid chose to be a poor. That piece s parents.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, look they're still poor. Doesn't mean you chose it or not. You're still poor, so you gotta learn ambition. Can't stay on your toes. Nobody's gonna hand you everything. That's the worst thing that can happen to a poor is everybody starts giving them stuff. You get a poor in a classroom that says everybody else has pens. You make him feel like he's got to figure out how to get pension. He's either gonna start stealing them like his dad did and that's why he's in jail, or he's gonna ask nicely like his mom's trying to teach him. Either way, quit handing him free stuff. You don't have to buy anything. There, I've said it. That's my annual speech to the teachers. Quit your jobs.

[John Holmberg]

Good God. There's nothing worse than poor person needs to borrow everything.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. No. Down with the poor. That's an email. Brett just didn't. That's not me. No, no, that's me. From his heart. That wasn't from Brett's heart. Well, I mean, I don't think he's disagreeing with us.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not arguing.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Other words. That a poor person get borrowed. My teachers used to charge 10 cents a pencil if you needed one.

[John Holmberg]

I had one that did that too.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, you could learn. You'd learn that way.

[Brett Vesely]

We also got a list of supplies we had to bring on day one of school. That's what we had.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah. We had that.

[Brett Vesely]

Bring this in to figure it out. If your parents didn't give you lunch money or food you didn't eat. That was true too. You got your lunch. That was pretty much. They have little programs we had to kick in for those. If you didn't have the tickets or whatever. But then you borrowed.

[Flip Orley]

It's like one or two times. They'll cover you.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Flip Orley]

At the school, like, if you're missing. Well, but then there's programs.

[Big Dick Toledo]

School, they have. They have like. I mean, it's basically the poor kids lunch.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

It's a. It's like an uncrustable and a water so that you're getting something and you. They're in a brown bag. So you see the kids with the. With the one brown. It's a label, you know.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Walking around with a. A stick or a tattoo.

[Big Dick Toledo]

But they got it. They got to feed them something.

[Brett Vesely]

They don't have to. They've chosen that. Hungry kids are hungry kids. That's what you get. Nothing you do about it.

[John Holmberg]

Go the Sheriff Joe route.

[Brett Vesely]

The green baloney and the ostrich. Ostrich food and the couple of pieces of old bread.

[Flip Orley]

The food isn't satisfactory.

[Brett Vesely]

We get a better job then. How's that, my friend? Bottle of water.

[John Holmberg]

There's a hose right over there. You hit that up.

[Brett Vesely]

That's exactly right, Brett. Kids drink it out of spigots more often. Makes you tough. What do you got on the big board of musical treats? Hopefully it's schools in for summer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no kidding. Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Well, if you need to buy the kids a bike to pedal their asses to school, well, no better place than Action Ride Shop, of course. What, you don't want a bike?

[Flip Orley]

I wish more would pedal to school. Oh, yeah, with the drive lines and all that stuff. That's why it's kind of cool in the neighborhood there that in our hood, you just see the flock of bikes just heading out.

[Brett Vesely]

They ride bikes.

[Flip Orley]

That's good to see.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, those are the missionaries, actually. In your neighborhood.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it's combo. They're escorted. They're all 21 years old and in short sleeves and helmets.

[John Holmberg]

But actually, Ride Shop's going to take care of those bike needs for you at two locations. The brand new one right there on Power Road. McDowell. And of course the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern on the list. You knew this was coming. Surfing USA for the Beach Boys. For Hawaii.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Drowning Pool. Step up where the River Flows From, Collective Soul. And then of course, for the Green Dildos, Detachable Penis is on the list. Dickeye from Jerry Cantrell, My Dick from Mickey Avalon and GNR Filter. Pantera dragged the waters. And then Ozzy, Miracle man and Hellraiser for the big funeral.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, let's do a little Miracle Man. One more thing for Ozzy and then we'll say goodbye to him. We've done plenty of tributes to Ozzy and he deserves every one of them. But today's the day they. They finish off Ozzy. I don't know if he's going in a mausoleum or if he's in the ground. I don't know what the final resting place is for Mr. Osborne, but.

[Flip Orley]

And what I didn't see anything about, like who's eulogizing.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. That'll be. Well, it's Live Stream. Check it all out. I'm sure some desperate for clicks radio station has that going on and you can find it everywhere.

[John Holmberg]

It's across the way.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it? Are they? I wouldn't be sure. It would not shock me. The tragedy porn stations that don't have enough. Ninth caller gets the list, gets a freebie. Yeah. They don't have enough skill or talent on the air to get ratings, so they have to try to find other ways. It's depressing.

[Flip Orley]

Is Alice about the most amazing funeral you went to?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Oh, man. No kidding. They would do it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, you should really talk more about dead celebrities.

[John Holmberg]

There's one for you before you.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, boy. Which. Which DJ emailed this one in, says, hey, Toledo. How much it was. How much you make fun of your son in the air. Do you think he wishes you left him like your dad left you? I think that kid wishes that no matter what the Toledo tradition died with Rich and unfortunately.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I can answer that. There were times. Yes, 100.

[Brett Vesely]

That you wanted to leave. I'm sure there's plenty of times he wished. Yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

On both sides.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, exactly.

[Big Dick Toledo]

We've come to a place where things are better. There's a date.

[Brett Vesely]

Stop Toledo. I'm playing a song. Post it. My friend Ozzy is his final day on the planet. Now he's gonna be in the planet. And this is the last one for Ozzy's funeral. It's Miracle man. Go back to 1988. It's 98 KUPD. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock. Rad. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? All right, there you go. It's a little Vol beat for you. Cruising right through. That's post concert psyching rock, my friends coming in after the fact. Not a bad thing. People are just. The WNBA needs to jump on this green dildo thing. This. My emails are exploding with green dildo. Like this is the most attention they've ever gotten. Caitlin Clark be damned. Their best player is that guy 30 rows back that just dropped that bomb on him. Again, I don't encourage this, but make lemonade. Wnba. Have some fun with this. Have a. You know that thing that shoots T shirts? One lucky fan catches the green fairy and they win like $5,000.

[Flip Orley]

You definitely want to wrap it in a T shirt for softer landing.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You definitely. If you're okay. If your T shirt has one out there. Oh, yeah. But if your T shirt has a dick in it and you unwrap, then it's the prize. Then you get an annual salary of a WNBA player, which is upwards of $7,500. That's pretty amazing. Or used Outback. Yeah, that's not. That's not bad, Brett. A used outback or $7,000. Your choice. But you got to catch it. And if you drop it, it's out. It's like a Savannah bananas.

[John Holmberg]

Subaru needs to be all over this.

[Flip Orley]

You should do a bunch of them.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[Flip Orley]

Just a bunch of little ones. And then you can redeem it at the concessions for a glizzy.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, not a bad idea. Get a free hot dog with every green fairy that you catch. Yeah. And we can do it and still honor what they're for. It can be LGBTQ night, and we're focused in on the tea, so a bunch of dismembered cranks are flight. You know, like, we got rid of these dicks. Let's celebrate. We don't have our dicks anymore. And they shoot those all over. They're just not smart marketers. They're gonna get mad about this.

[Flip Orley]

We used to fire out hot dogs.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, well, you'd shoot those hot dogs in the silver packages taped up. Yeah, I've been on the other end of that. I didn't catch one. I had one bounce off me, and the dude behind me got it, and he ate it. I've had the a steaming hot wiener fly at me from the court.

[John Holmberg]

Careful.

[Brett Vesely]

It's true. WNBA is going to get all mad. We already have rules not to throw things on the court, so it doesn't really matter what the thing is that's thrown. But the fact that this got you somebody. If somebody threw a quarter, no one would be paying attention. But because it was a big green wiener, the WNBA's got to go. All right. This is the most attention we've gotten in a long time. We don't want to encourage throwing stuff out there. Let's have fun with this. Make some lemonade. We'll shoot the wieners back at the crowd. You want to throw wieners at us? We'll throw them back at you. So green wiener night, maybe. Hot dogs, Brady. They're wrapped up in green foil. Then you shoot them at the crowd.

[Flip Orley]

Throw a logo on it.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't throw wieners at us. We throw wieners at you. Hilarious. But it would cost them too much money. And then April Reese would be like, Angel Reese. They shooting out $7,000 worth of hot dogs every night. You all make $7,000 in a week. I make that in seven days. Actual quote. Actual Angel Reese quote. You make seven. Fourteen. She said fourteen.

[John Holmberg]

Fourteen hundred.

[Brett Vesely]

You make fourteen hundred dollars in a week. I make fourteen hundred in seven days. Take that, Angel Reese. She's going to take over at the fed soon. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. And it's brought to you by friends at all Pro Shade Concepts. They're Arizona's best patio shades. Putting in a call today, Brady. I mapped out. I mapped out my measurements, my plan. I got something. Oh, I got something. It's gonna be cool. I'm building myself a little shady spot there at my tee box. No, it's gonna be so neat. I can't wait. And I'm getting the best in the business to come. Do it. 20 years of shade means two decades of quality custom installed patio shades, awnings and sunscreens. That, my friends, is where it's at. And if you guys need some shade like I do, there's only one place to go. Brady already did it. His place looks amazing. The best quality product you can imagine. All Pro shade dot com. That's where you go to get yourself some shade. Be cool this summer. Allproched.com Brady report it good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world. Hi.

[Flip Orley]

Happy National Cheesecake Day. National Father in Law Day.

[Brett Vesely]

Focker in law. Yeah, this Thanksgiving.

[Flip Orley]

You'Re gonna finish it in three weeks.

[Brett Vesely]

Magically and kind of ironically. Remember the good the big joke about how milking a cat. How he could get milk from a cat.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I have nipples. Greg.

[Brett Vesely]

25 years later, we realized they've been. They're going to suck the milk out of this premise too. And they were going to milk this thing like they're milking a cat. Nipple. Could you milk me? Could you milk me? Greg, nobody can milk a movie franchise for 30 years. And one joke. Focker in Law is real. It will be happening in Thanksgiving.

[Flip Orley]

Couple of basis fun facts. Evel Knievel was fired from his mining job after high school for attempting a motorcycle type wheelie and a large earth mover. In the process, he accidentally hit the main power line for Butte, Montana, causing citywide power outage.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That was a field trip we took in school. We got to go see. See Evil Knievel's house.

[Brett Vesely]

What?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Cool. Did you get to go in it?

[Big Dick Toledo]

No. Just drive by? Yeah, just the property.

[Brett Vesely]

So much like your dad. It was occasional drive by of a house a guy was in.

[Flip Orley]

Was that original one or was it a gigantic spread?

[Big Dick Toledo]

It wasn't gigantic, but it was. It was a compound pride of Butte.

[Brett Vesely]

No kidding. And the whole school just got in.

[Big Dick Toledo]

A bus, went to Butte, which is.

[Brett Vesely]

90 miles away, drove by his house and went home?

[Big Dick Toledo]

No, we were there. We also went to the mining.

[Brett Vesely]

It was a museum. They just pointed it out along the way.

[Big Dick Toledo]

They made a big deal of it.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, for us kids it was.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Huge because half of us had that toy.

[Brett Vesely]

It's the best thing in Montana ever.

[Big Dick Toledo]

The wheelie motorcycle that never pulled a wheelie.

[Flip Orley]

Florida is the flattest state in the U.S. kansas has the reputation of being the flattest state, but it came in seventh. English is the most common language used on webs, on websites by far. It currently is around 49%. Spanish is second 6%.

[Brett Vesely]

No kidding. Because I gotta learn to speak English to deal with me, that's for sure. I'm in India today. They're speaking English.

[Flip Orley]

The last some Volkswagen cars in 1959 had coffee makers built into the dashboard.

[Brett Vesely]

No, kid, that's horribly dangerous. Hot coffee, like a maker to get a pot of coffee. How much coffee do you need on your drive to work?

[Flip Orley]

It had to been a. Like just for a cup or something.

[Brett Vesely]

That was before they had places to stop.

[Flip Orley]

59. When did the Mr. Coffees come out?

[Brett Vesely]

It was later than that because Mr. Coffee was like Joe DiMaggio and he was playing.

[Flip Orley]

Had the stainless steel thing on that.

[Brett Vesely]

No, they had those hot pad teapots.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like a pot.

[Brett Vesely]

How much coffee are you serving on the drive to work? Those Germans heating up everything there for a while. Look at that. There it is.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah. So it's a little mug, but it's.

[Brett Vesely]

A full maker of coffee. That's a whole pot of coffee right there with a cup next to it. The mug is receiving coffee from the thing above it that's holding a couple cups of coffee. That's the spigot 40 watt. Look at that. Piping hot coffee at the ready. That was before they invented like Styrofoam and stuff too. Right? So you just had to have a glass cup, like a hot mug. They invented that before they invented anything else for the dashboard.

[Big Dick Toledo]

No AC news, no radio.

[Brett Vesely]

There's nothing.

[Flip Orley]

A new poll of 25,000Americans looked at the most popular pet names used by couples.

[Brett Vesely]

By couples.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah. Honey is still popular, but trending down.

[Brett Vesely]

Pet names for each other. I thought dogs and cats.

[Flip Orley]

No, pet names each other.

[Brett Vesely]

Sweetie. Sweetheart. Yeah.

[Flip Orley]

Sweetheart was number four. Love is number five. Babies number three.

[Brett Vesely]

Pet names are the worst. You guys do it. Honey.

[Flip Orley]

Number two.

[Brett Vesely]

You do it, darling. Honey. Sweetheart.

[Flip Orley]

Sticky biscuit.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you call her? Do you have a name? No, I don't. You don't call her at like. Like baby butts? Honey? No, no, nothing do you? No, I don't think any of us do. It's so weird.

[Brady Bogan]

It is.

[Flip Orley]

Babe is number one.

[Brett Vesely]

Babe is so Babe.

[Big Dick Toledo]

We don't even use Babe.

[Brett Vesely]

Babe is such a tribal tattoo.

[Flip Orley]

Every now and then. Every now I call Ronnie Bay. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I only. I only go with what Willis used to say to Janet Jackson on Different Strokes. You upset with me? I didn't mean to ruffle your feathers, little bird. And that's as far as I'll take that. Try to laugh about when somebody said I.

[Flip Orley]

We do you know if there's pet names, it's for Kirby.

[Brett Vesely]

I think Curbs or Kirby Durbs.

[Flip Orley]

And that's kind of funny because now that she's older.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. It's embarrassing and awful for her.

[Flip Orley]

My sister did that to me being the youngest.

[Brett Vesely]

Look how you turned out. That's not because you were the youngest. Just.

[Flip Orley]

It's cuz she. I was so adorable.

[Brett Vesely]

Right when you were 20. She thought you were so. She just trying to make you feel specialer. What did she call you?

[Flip Orley]

Flippity? Floppity? Baby Fifi?

[Brett Vesely]

Why? Flippy Floppy.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, she'd come up with these.

[Brett Vesely]

But why?

[Flip Orley]

Then it was just Flip Flippy.

[Brett Vesely]

Why?

[Flip Orley]

Because when I was. You know.

[John Holmberg]

Why would he.

[Flip Orley]

And second or third grade. It bothered me, you know. Stop it.

[Brett Vesely]

But why did she call you that?

[Flip Orley]

To torment me.

[Brett Vesely]

But why did the. What was. Where did it come from?

[John Holmberg]

The origin of the name.

[Brady Bogan]

I told you.

[Brett Vesely]

It tormented you. And you didn't know the Baby Winky. Why? Where are these names coming from?

[Flip Orley]

I think she just created them.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, that's exactly what she did.

[Flip Orley]

The idea. Obviously something. Something you were doing.

[Brett Vesely]

No, not from you.

[Flip Orley]

No. Nothing for me.

[Brett Vesely]

She just. You were perfect. She just dec call you Flippity.

[Flip Orley]

I'm gonna call you Baby Winky.

[John Holmberg]

Now I'm going to take a laughing.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not it. I guarantee you she's got a different answer than that. She didn't get that out of Cosmo Tiger Beat. Okay. She read a magazine and called you the name that she saw. Why did it bother you?

[Flip Orley]

Just the fact your sister's calling you these baby names.

[Brett Vesely]

Another repressed memory, Brady. She was hitting you nerve.

[Flip Orley]

It worked the other way. I started liking it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What's Izzy doing right now?

[Brett Vesely]

Exactly? I just. I just. I need to know.

[Flip Orley]

Call me with your favorite baby name.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's what she's doing. But your sister didn't just out of the blue call you Baby Winky. You did something. Otherwise it wouldn't have made you Mad. It's not how the human body works. She read, sees Baby Winky on TV and calls you Baby Winky. You're not going to care.

[Flip Orley]

I think she was just chapped that I was the golden child.

[Brett Vesely]

And then you had a nickname for later in high school. Right, Right. Hi, Baby Winky. What's up, fat gr. Hey, hug it off.

[Flip Orley]

Who's F.B.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, see? And that would have been cuz you read it or saw it in a Cheech and Chong movie or something. Wouldn't have made sense. You were doing something that caused flippity floppy that you won't tell us. What was it?

[Flip Orley]

I have no idea.

[Brett Vesely]

That drives me crazy.

[Flip Orley]

I'll ask her, of course.

[Brett Vesely]

Finally, before you two both die of old age, would you please ask what's going on?

[Flip Orley]

Because I can't say. You know, calling Kirby Kirby d', Herbs, well, that's easy.

[Brett Vesely]

That's rhyming.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Curba d' Herbs is. Yeah, that makes sense that you would call somebody Kirby d'. Herbs. It's Kirby is her name. So Kirby, anything after that makes sense. We can figure that one out. That's math. Flippity floppity for Brady. You have no curiosity. You were up to something. You had something going on.

[Flip Orley]

Everybody's making pancakes.

[Brett Vesely]

That's probably.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Definitely.

[Brett Vesely]

And then, of course, that would piss you off mightily if someone called you flippity floppity after watching you make pancakes. Ask some questions. God damn it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Never gonna happen.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it doesn't occur.

[Flip Orley]

I'll ask if I hear.

[Brett Vesely]

I can't believe you don't have any curiosity right now. Just like, why didn't I ask questions? John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Flip Orley]

New York magazine's website called the Cut, just did a in depth feature titled Everyone has hemorrhoids. Now, now. They went deep on the hemorrhoid talk. They talked to the chief of colon and rectal surgery at Mount Sinai Hospital. Hemorrhoids have apparently been on the rise for years, and young people are dealing with them more and more. It's all the rosebuds you have to have that uncomfortable surgery.

[Brett Vesely]

Brett's right. They're playing with their butts more than they used to. We never played with our butts.

[Flip Orley]

There's four reasons that they're saying.

[Brett Vesely]

And also wiping sit too much.

[Flip Orley]

There's that sitting too long puts added pressure on the veins down there. Restricts blood flow. We sit on the toilet too long. In A survey in 2021 found 73% of the people and 93% of folks under 30 bring their phone in the bathroom with them. We're not eating enough fiber. It's number three. And the fourth ones were dehydrated. Not drinking enough fluids slows down your digestion, makes you constipated.

[John Holmberg]

Number five is rosebuds.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Number five is kids are playing with their buds more. Also, they don't wash their asses. Dry paper causes more problems with Uranus.

[Flip Orley]

But on those rosebuds, you're not really seeing hemorrhoids.

[Brett Vesely]

That's like the ultimate hemorrhoids.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's a giant.

[Brett Vesely]

It's like it's gonna blow up some blood vessels. No, you're definitely not in good shape after that. There's hemorrhoid issues. You rose buds are not good back there. I'm venturing to guess when that thing sucks back in, you got some bubbles. You probably don't feel them, because if you can, rosebud hemorrhoids are your second biggest problem.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I don't think you should have that kind of control over that thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, they do. I think your body's like, whoops. Suck that back in. Sorry. You're gonna have a couple bumps popping an eye. What gays do to their bottoms. Hemorrhoids, they don't. It's nothing they don't feel. It's like dudes with calloused hands. That's all the hemorrhoid is just a couple calluses on the way in. It's like getting a hand job from a guy who does roofing. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Sandpaper.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but that's what they get, you know, you gotta have some traction. I believe the gays call those speed bumps. I think that's the old joke of the hemorrhoids, Roger.

[Flip Orley]

And if you don't, you're like city folk.

[Brett Vesely]

Right? Right. They like those pristine ones. But Trauma to the anus, Trust me.

[John Holmberg]

It'S a good band name.

[Brett Vesely]

But Trauma to the Anus is a great band name. Solid anal trauma. Maybe just fixed it when I fell on that rock and it hit the money shot, bam. That bubble came the next day to my anus, and it was humongous and hilarious.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Man.

[Brett Vesely]

Brady hemorrhoid.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Your lack of questions has the textures.

[Brett Vesely]

They go crazy about that. Everybody's asking me about flippity Floppity.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Was that about his wiener bouncing around as he ran naked through the house?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Why winky?

[Big Dick Toledo]

You know what winky is right.

[Brett Vesely]

You did something with your dicky. You did something with your penis and your Sister's like you got caught outside with your penis, baby. Fifi, maybe that was. This is. This is nudity related.

[Big Dick Toledo]

They knew Brady's secret fish fetish. Flippity floppity.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that could be your sister. You. You've repressed it and you won't tell us. And your sister, you think she read it in a magazine and just pulled it out of thin air?

[Flip Orley]

No, I don't.

[Brett Vesely]

You did something.

[Flip Orley]

We'll find out.

[Brett Vesely]

Guessing it's PP related. Yeah. Texture.

[John Holmberg]

There's one here.

[Flip Orley]

And now it's time for some wild America.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, hold on. We gotta print. I got a lot going on over here now. Because everybody's curious about flippity floppity. Print it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sure.

[Flip Orley]

Hello, my friend Brady Bogan here with your Wild America.

[Brett Vesely]

Do it again. It's not. There's plenty of paper in there. Sorry.

[Flip Orley]

If you're thinking about hiking or camping in the Southwest right now. In our area.

[Brett Vesely]

Nope.

[Flip Orley]

In our area, on top of Arizona, California, Colorado, Kansas, New Mexico and Texas.

[Brett Vesely]

It's the Southwest. Yeah.

[Flip Orley]

Tarantulas, it's the mating season.

[Brett Vesely]

They're coming north.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I saw this.

[Brett Vesely]

And a massive migration.

[Flip Orley]

Well, they've been here, but this is the time of year that they start and when they. All the males are looking for females to.

[Brett Vesely]

They said on the news the other day there's hundreds migration from Mexico that are all going into the southwest. They're already here. Yeah, but tons of them come. Yeah. Build a little tarantula. While the worst of the worst tarantulas.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Are letting the tarantulas in.

[Brett Vesely]

MS.13 MS.8 legs. They're all heading towards us.

[Flip Orley]

We have 29 described individual species of tarantulas in the United States. Arizona has a. A brown transfer tarantula. And then we have another one that has kind of a red belly.

[Brett Vesely]

Those are the Indian.

[Flip Orley]

There's the Mexican red leg.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Look at you off the top.

[Brett Vesely]

The Mexican red leg. That's the one.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I went out the knowledge of Arizona spiders.

[Flip Orley]

I want to see it. I've seen. I've only seen it on like the animal programs. Whether it's that geo or something where they show. It's just like. Like thousands that are crossing the highway.

[Brett Vesely]

They had it on the news the other day.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Have you seen one here?

[Flip Orley]

No, I haven't seen it live or been there, but have I seen a tarantula here?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Flip Orley]

Just one time.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Flip Orley]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

That's it for me. That's for TV only.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's it.

[Brett Vesely]

You're not interested in a tarantula? Migration. I don't want to see one in my house, let alone hundreds on a road coming at me. No interest in it. That's for. That's. That's Attenborough stuff right there. Mighty mighty tarantula coming across.

[Big Dick Toledo]

The board said they're going to Colorado, so they're going the entire length of the state.

[Flip Orley]

And yeah, they're all the way. They cover five or six states. Texas, Colorado.

[Brett Vesely]

I was up there pretty good.

[Flip Orley]

Got a guy in British Columbia that Brady.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me ask you this.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Tarantula in the house. Squash it.

[Flip Orley]

And I'm picking it up and putting.

[Brett Vesely]

It outside and squashing that. Now it's somebody else's problem. Problem. Squash it. Me too.

[John Holmberg]

A heartbeat.

[Flip Orley]

It's a mess.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Flip Orley]

It's pretty big.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a bigger mess. Waking up with a tarantula in your bed.

[Flip Orley]

It's easy. Just put a leash on them.

[Brett Vesely]

And I'll tell you right now, if I wake up with a tarantula in my bed, I'm going to take the biggest I've ever taken in my life. You want to talk about Emirates? Nothing on me. Yeah, I would. I'd rose. Butt out a turd.

[Flip Orley]

And then they're buried in a massive grumpy.

[Brett Vesely]

And then. And then I have the nerve to say it would be too messy to stomp that thing out. Out. Even standing there wide awake, if I see a tarantula, I might take a. On the floor.

[Flip Orley]

So this guy from British Columbia suffered minor injuries after fending off.

[Brett Vesely]

By the way, if Cougar and I don't give a crap anymore. If you let a tarantula go. If you tell me I found a tarantula in your house and then you let it go. I'm gonna rent Saving Private Ryan and we're watch it together because you know what happens? That thing comes back and kills one of us. They don't kill you. I don't want to get bit by a tarantula and find out. Do you do?

[Flip Orley]

Yeah. It won't happen.

[Brett Vesely]

Why?

[Flip Orley]

It won't bite you.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, they do. That's what they do. Their defense mechanism. What do they do if they're threatened? What do they do?

[Brady Bogan]

Run.

[Brett Vesely]

What do they do if they're tactical, what do you do if you roll over?

[Flip Orley]

Yeah. Worst case scenario, they'll bite. Try to hit you.

[Brett Vesely]

They bite you. That's it. I don't want to find out that Brady's freed. Tarantula comes back and kills the Jew.

[Flip Orley]

I'll brand them. So you know know that I let him go.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't care. Circle B. I'm telling you right now, if you tell me I found one in the house and put it out. All tarantula bites are responsible. You are your thing. Because that's one more.

[Flip Orley]

I'm not gonna tell you.

[Brett Vesely]

Good.

[Flip Orley]

Maybe I already have.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, well, then, now I'm gonna blame you anyway. Now maybe I already blame you. We're seeing that thing on TV the other day that was horrifying. Thousands of them just walking around. I'm like, where's the flamethrower? Knock this problem down. I can tell you right now, if there's that many of them on the.

[Flip Orley]

Road, how many are in that, you know, picture when you see that. And then you like Toledo saying, I've seen it one time.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, we don't need. Really. See, we don't have a population problem with tarantulas. From what I saw on TV the other day. Flame throw that mess down the second you see it. That is Byron. I'll have him bring that with you. And we got. If I got two of them.

[Flip Orley]

Not right now.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, no, right now.

[John Holmberg]

Right now.

[Flip Orley]

Hi.

[Brett Vesely]

Nope. I got a hose.

[John Holmberg]

I'll deal with it.

[Brett Vesely]

Two and a hose.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I agree.

[Brett Vesely]

Trust me, I'll. This will be covered. And by the way, I don't want to live anywhere. I'd rather burn it down than have a tarantula infestation. Tarantulas are nice weirdos Said. And four of them are my terrariums. They're so with a terrarium.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, they like to snuggle.

[Brett Vesely]

Right. They're neat on tv, not in the.

[John Holmberg]

Wild like those jerk offs on Mill Avenue. Walk around their big boa constrictors.

[Brett Vesely]

Can't wait for that thing to pop your head off.

[Flip Orley]

Bow on one shoulder, you know, on the other.

[Brett Vesely]

Although, and I've said this a million times, that all they are are people with no personalities that are using a snake is the only interesting thing about them.

[Flip Orley]

You guys like my snake?

[Brett Vesely]

No, I like them better than you because I guarantee you don't have a personality. You wouldn't need the.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, Monty Python is really great.

[Brett Vesely]

What a name. How'd you come up with Monty Python? Oh, oh, here's the other guy with Monty Python. Also. Mine's called Anaconda. Awesome. Nice job. You're so original, all of you. And your personalities are aces, or you wouldn't need this accompaniment tarantula. It's like having a midget giving him a piggyback ride all the time. What's wrong? I don't have a personality. So this is my only interesting trait. Wolves. Snakes in public. You can have them at home. That's fine. The minute you start toting them around malls, notice those dudes. Never have like three or four people.

[Flip Orley]

Run with iggy on my shoulder and iguana.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. But you know, I guarantee you. Guarantee you right now. Yeah. Those people. Anything with a reptile on your body. Yeah. And I. Two things are guaranteed. You have no friends with you at the time. And you're walking through the mall all alone with your snake. And you're. You're not going any stores. You're just looking around. Does anyone notice me? Does anyone notice me? You're an incel.

[Flip Orley]

Yes. That's a gecko on my shoulder.

[Brett Vesely]

Right. That was an accident. You see me brush it off and stop.

[Big Dick Toledo]

People have tails on. We had. We rented a cabin in Prescott. They'd climb the outside walls, tarantulas all over.

[Brett Vesely]

Horror movie. It's a horror movie. I'd leave.

[John Holmberg]

I turn into Gallagher. I'm just. I'm smashing everything around.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm bringing this leg.

[John Holmberg]

You're damn right.

[Flip Orley]

Breaking holes in the wall.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a great Italian song.

[Big Dick Toledo]

This guy's related to Brady somehow. Jesus Christ, you pansies. We get them all around our property every time it rains. My kids pick them up. Toughen up.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm talking about. Toughen up. Move. You live in a bug infested mess. If I told you I loved ants and I had a house full of them, you'd think I was crazy. It's the same thing. I got bugs all over my house. Why don't you toughen up? Why don't you live in the 21st century? Call up hunter pest control and get. Get rid of them. I love spiders and bugs and stuff. All over the house. We leave food on the ground just for that. Them. We're pigs. Where do you live that? Every time it rains you have spiders everywhere.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's weird. I haven't seen that ever.

[Brett Vesely]

The. The dump. You know, if you've got. If you've got. Not that store. If you've got tarantulas at your house, that means you've got a ton of bugs. Cuz that's what they eat, right?

[Flip Orley]

They got to have.

[Brett Vesely]

Their house is filthy. You just.

[Flip Orley]

I have noticed there's been a lot of crickets lately.

[Brett Vesely]

And that guy that just emailed in, his kids have licensed and. Oh, they're living with everything. Yeah, they're running outside picking up bugs off the ground. They got licensed mites.

[Flip Orley]

Back to this dude that got attacked by the cougar. He just had minor injuries because he punched the cougar in the face multiple times.

[Brett Vesely]

He started it.

[Flip Orley]

Recommended by the do not play dead with a cougar.

[Brett Vesely]

Fight it.

[Flip Orley]

You want to be big?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. I watched the. I survived for the cougar. Got that guy and he. He plucked the cougar's eye out with his thumb and just pissed the cougar off more. End up killing him with a pocket knife. But he couldn't get the pocket knife through the. The leathery skin of the cougar thing just tore him to bits. He lived. But he had his thumbs in the cougar's eyes and he was popping them. The cougar got furious. You piss the cougar off when you try to pop its eyes out.

[Flip Orley]

That's your wild America.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't think I'd play dead with a cougar. Pretty sure I'd just be dead. I don't think I'd make it through. But this guy will email it. And my kids wrestle cougars all day long. Grow up.

[Flip Orley]

Kraft Mac and Cheese is unleashing a new pizza flavor for limited time. You can order Mac and cheese for delivery this weekend only if you're in.

[Brett Vesely]

The.

[Flip Orley]

New York City, Chicago, Detroit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that'll do us a lot of good.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You planning on taking a road trip?

[John Holmberg]

He might. We haven't heard the. The flavor yet.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

And wait, that's the end.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The special Mac and cheese pizza.

[Flip Orley]

Mac and cheese.

[Brett Vesely]

It's pizza with pizza. Flavored. Okay.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I thought it was a pizza, too.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I thought, too.

[Brett Vesely]

I was waiting for the end of that myself.

[Flip Orley]

Scoop Sellers sent us a little article. Sad, sad day in Phoenix yesterday. The last Sizzler closed.

[Brett Vesely]

They closed it.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

The i17 Sizzler?

[Flip Orley]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, no. Well, John. John Gordon won't have anywhere to take his lady.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Flagstaff.

[Brett Vesely]

There's one up there.

[Big Dick Toledo]

It's the last one, I think, in the state.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that right?

[Flip Orley]

They say this is the Valley's last location.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Flip Orley]

And maybe that one up on Flag is still open. Open it is.

[Brett Vesely]

Be a gentleman to that and drag her up to the Sizzler. John Gordon used to always take her to the Sizzle over on Southern and Alma. School or Extension? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there was one on Country Club, too.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's the one.

[John Holmberg]

Country Club in Southern. That's the one that burned down. But there was one over on Extension in Southern as well, years ago.

[Brett Vesely]

Then it turned into like a Faux pocket that close to each other. Wow. Popular players.

[John Holmberg]

Then there was one on baseline. And like McClintock, if you go back.

[Brett Vesely]

With your current pallet to a Sizzler that used to think was great in the 80s and take a bite of that food, like eating the bottom of a Nike. Sizzler closed for a reason.

[Flip Orley]

A Tender Nike.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, no, it wasn't a Tender Nike. Nikes are. I prefer the Nike.

[Flip Orley]

A pastor from Denver named Eli Religallo in his wife Caitlin. They've been accused of running a cryptocurrency scam. They solicited 3.4 million from friends and associates to buy something called Index Coin. The crypto has zero value, and the investors lost all their money. Instead, the couple used most of the money on personal expenses, including home renovation, airline tickets, motel rooms, luxury retail purchases. They targeted the Christian investors, told them to have faith in their investment in the Index Coin and it would lead to an abundance of blessings, part of investing. The Lord told him to do it.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure. Sometimes the Lord is a bad advisor for finance. By the way, there's that weird face you make in all the pictures covered in tarantulas.

[John Holmberg]

Batman strikes again.

[Brett Vesely]

That's a good one. By the way, Scott Haynes has fired back. He said that's funny. Burt's defense for a tarantula is the same as his deal with flaming barrels. Grab the hammer and smash them.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, whatever works.

[Brett Vesely]

It's true.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. They got unlimited cheese toast at Sizzler now?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, not too much. It's limited because we're about to shut it down. This guy says you guys are bitches. Tarantulas are delicious. They're a delicacy. Signed all of your listeners in Djibouti, and I'm not so sure if I'm a listener of the show that I'm gonna fire off a quick email saying that I have an infestation of bugs and spiders. As a brag point, I don't want to necessarily flex on the idea that my house is coated in spider.

[John Holmberg]

Flagstaff and Gallup, New Mexico is where we got to go for Sizzler.

[Brett Vesely]

Man. Looks like I'm never going to Sizzler again.

[Flip Orley]

I got a couple of pretty videos.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Flip Orley]

You'll be able to find that one.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I got that.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah. This is a ring. Camera in LA was released a video and said it caught a alien on video.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, cool. Woman posted footage last month just doing her yard work. I don't know why she's so surprised.

[Flip Orley]

Woman in Compton shared the vid. The footage Last month and now they say of course it's not in high def.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that I have to keep it down because I'm sure there's a what the is in my yard?

[Flip Orley]

It's pretty freaky. It happens really quick. You'll see it. They take the alien right there in the corner.

[Brett Vesely]

Started over a minute, missed it. That's a rabbit. It's a rabbit.

[John Holmberg]

That scene in Signs was a lot.

[Brett Vesely]

More scarier than this. Hit pause on that. It was 1:00am well, don't do that. Hit pause.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Trying to hit it before you hit play. That blacks out when you pause it, huh?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, rabbit to me some.

[Flip Orley]

Where was it?

[John Holmberg]

Compton. That's some crackhead.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, some crackhead doing a military from Friday.

[Flip Orley]

You know someone said oh it in.

[Brett Vesely]

A costume but maybe little Chris fell out of his wheelchair. It's an alien. Like an alien would land in Compton first.

[Big Dick Toledo]

What if his accidental accident.

[John Holmberg]

No, he'd jump back in the spaceship and go somewhere else.

[Brett Vesely]

He'd have gotten shot walking around from that spaceship. No way he's getting through Compton untouched. Into somebody's yard. Blast his ass. E.T. doesn't E T he's E.T. gets found in Compton. And that movie's totally different.

[John Holmberg]

Oh man.

[Brett Vesely]

Of course you could have dressed him up like a cholo. He would have fit in cuz he's the same height but even walk around. I got to get out of la. I got to get the F out of la. They falling from the sky. Why don't you give me them skins, alien? You've been having sex with them aliens. Trey, give me some skins.

[Flip Orley]

Elliot.

[Brett Vesely]

Give me some skins. Elliot. Elliot. Phone home. You ain't using my minutes. Who this new phone. Phone home. You wasted my minutes, man. It's the 30th of the month. I'm in C O M P T O N.

[Flip Orley]

Next one's a messy.

[Brett Vesely]

Arrest that bitch.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I think we've seen this one.

[Brett Vesely]

Sorry. I'm up in the cpt. I'm in the cpt. Phone home. Phone home. Elliot. I'll be right here. You gonna make me cry, little mother? Get your ass out the hood.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Get on over to Crenshaw.

[Brett Vesely]

They'd kill and eat that thing the first day. There's no way white people keep it in their closet. Dress it up. I shot Where Star off to the Sizzler we go. I killed some ugly in my house last night. I don't know what to do. And then. And then Boys in the hood. You guys want to see a dead body? What is that.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Again?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's that's. What is that? That's a fat little.

[Flip Orley]

I think I shot a leprechaun.

[Brett Vesely]

Alien. And Compton. Compton. I'm calling the Wayans brothers that they're gonna make that movie. He lands in Compton and they just. That would be great.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Anyway, don't mess around with an alien in Compton.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Flip Orley]

You see the arrest. They're cuffing him.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got his. Oh, he just takes a poop on these cops that are coughing, spraying diarrhea. Oh, my goodness. Just some hillbilly.

[Big Dick Toledo]

The relief on his face.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, he's just standing there with a. He's never naked. So they tied a shirt around his.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Middle, got his hands in that.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man, I'd let him go. Oh, my. Cops just start running. Just start shooting. Diarrhea. Ah, humans. Maybe the aliens are better.

[Flip Orley]

All right, next one's a vaporization from a train.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, that I'm okay with. If the cops break out the nightsticks and work that guy into the ground, nobody goes to jail for that.

[Flip Orley]

This guy gets vaporized.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, he's standing on train tracks. Oh, come on. On. Oh, come on. Oh, wow. Almost two. One more step parted. Oh, my God. Trains are undefeated, I think. Oh, my God.

[Flip Orley]

Last one's a little. Little nail to the cheek.

[Brett Vesely]

Guy's got a nail in his. Just under his temple on his left eye. Yeah, they've got some vise grips or pliers, and they're pulling the nail on this is way in it a. No, it's a good. Oh, that's a full on, like, holy.

[Flip Orley]

Cow, five inch nail at least.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, got right into the bone under your temple.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah, it's like in his.

[Brett Vesely]

So right in that. That that cavern in your face behind your sinuses and under your brain behind your eye.

[Flip Orley]

No blood.

[Brett Vesely]

It's just all bone. That is horrifying. What do you do? Does it say what he did? Did obviously mess around with a nail. Nail gun.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Actually, nail guns have five inch nails. I don't think.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's a good man. That is awful.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Maybe that's AI.

[Flip Orley]

All right, that's what I was wondering like. Or is it a magic trick?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what that is. It's not easy to watch. Looks real to me, man. Yeah, I believed it. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[John Holmberg]

All right, we'll start off with a little mountain bike action here.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. Oh, no, I remember the ones that turn into something else. No, it's not. He's flying down the path fence. Wait, wait, more guys on the Fence.

[Flip Orley]

It's the other angle.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, the guy behind him was filming it too. It's like a cattle guard. Yeah, first dude just smashes it. Gate opens for the next guy, and he gets right by. That's why what the good second riders do. Don't follow that tire too closely. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

All right, how about this party?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, we're at somebody's house on the second story. There's a guy banging a girl. Very attractive couple. Definitely getting it going. Is that gonna. That's at a party. That's just the second floor. People just went outside on the balcony and had sex for hundreds of people. Why are they playing this song? 1. Of course the girl's worried about this soundtrack. Wow. There. They look good too, by the way. I'd watch this. She's going for it.

[John Holmberg]

She's working it.

[Brett Vesely]

She's going for it. Or not. There's a guy inside. Film. It's a porno. That's good. That's good stuff. Hopefully I run into that some night. Just hanging around. Boy board.

[Flip Orley]

You guys mind if we fill a scene?

[Brett Vesely]

Saw the behind the scenes on this one.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You never saw that at the old pornhouse in your old neighborhood or whatever? Or was it just a.

[Flip Orley]

They weren't outside.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I didn't know. Something.

[Flip Orley]

They're not in the front yard?

[Brett Vesely]

No, they were. They bought the house next door that they lived in, and they used it to film porn.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a happy marriage.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, guy's peeing on us. Oh, they're peeing on each other. Crossing streams at the same time. Ah, for crying out loud. Listen to that nonsense. Cut him it out. Cut it out. YouTube pronounced. That is. That's keeping the magic alive, though. That's spicing things up in the bedroom.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Spicing things.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got a wire whisk and his foreskin. Okay. His foreskin is over the edge of a wire whisk for, like, eggs and stuff. And it's all the way around, and it looks like a really nice umbrella. I don't know how he did that.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like Little John's crunk cup.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I'm actually impressed.

[Brett Vesely]

It is a crunk cup. It looks like a chalice. Oh, now he's eating. He dipped it in the peanut butter, and now he's eating. He's eating the whole. Not only that, he can fit his whole mouth around the wire with that. Dude's got. Got some skills around the kitchen.

[John Holmberg]

All right, and then we'll just. We'll end with this one.

[Brett Vesely]

That was neat. Okay, here's A girl. She's behind a naked lady. And the naked lady's butt has something in it and it looks white. And she's about to. Okay, she just farted out a bunch of whipped cream. I mean, it's a lot. Oh, one play's worth of. Shoot. Again. Whose idea was this? Genius. It's like when you don't shake up the ready whip enough and it makes that noise. Noise. Oh, man. She had a ton in there all day. 933. We'll end there. Good stuff. There you go. Flip. Or here.

[Flip Orley]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

See outside?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah. They're waiting, I think.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, Brad brought him.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

But Flipper just wandered on his own. All right, all right. Flips here. He's going to be doing tonight and tomorrow, I believe, down in Tempe. I might have it back here the whole weekend.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Two spots.

[Brett Vesely]

He's doing Wednesday, though.

[Flip Orley]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

So he's going to. Yeah, he's doing Desert Ridge, I think, on the weekends. Or vice versa. We'll find out from Flip. Flip joins us next. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is. What's wrong with you? All right, stop cussing, Flip. Here we go, everybody. Flip Orley is with us. He's at the Desert Ridge Improv tonight and tomorrow. And he's at the Tempe Improv Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. For some reason, they got you working a Wednesday.

[Brady Bogan]

I love working.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I know you like working, but Wednesday?

[Brady Bogan]

Dude, I. In the day. In the day. It was the comedy club week. Started on Monday and ran through Sunday. Used to be seven days a week.

[Brett Vesely]

Why?

[Flip Orley]

Why?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, because that. They were selling tickets back then.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh. They used to be able to do it. I see. It's like the wnba. You didn't demand more money. They just stopped giving you those nights.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, well, yeah, but honestly.

[Flip Orley]

And people were going.

[Brett Vesely]

It's lucrative.

[Brady Bogan]

If we were selling tickets Monday and Tuesday, I'd do the. I'd do seven days.

[Brett Vesely]

You would?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I love too much.

[Brady Bogan]

I love what I do.

[Brett Vesely]

I know you do.

[Brady Bogan]

You think I'm kissing your ass, which I am, but I actually do. Sincerely, the only thing that I would prefer to do over being on stage is being in here with y' all every morning.

[Brett Vesely]

Stop that. Well, you're not gonna have it happen. Thanks for coming, Flip. It's a pleasure, Flip. Early this week and he's getting you.

[Brady Bogan]

I caught myself.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. This is. This is When a girl tells you she loves you too soon, it's like, oh, we gotta cut this dog.

[Brady Bogan]

I've been known you for 30 years.

[Brett Vesely]

I know it's still too soon. Especially when Flip says I love you. That's trouble for everybody.

[Brady Bogan]

Dude, that's a house for you. What, are you kidding?

[Brett Vesely]

That's a good point. I win a house, you've given away.

[John Holmberg]

Four or five houses and a tattoo. You'll get tattoo on his body.

[Brett Vesely]

So he's gonna ask you have the. I see the name is still Pistachio. What about the other five tattoos I believe of that last girl's name all over your body.

[Brady Bogan]

They're 12.

[Brett Vesely]

12. And the penis was one of them.

[Brady Bogan]

I got that one fixed.

[Brett Vesely]

And that's fixed. Which, which else is. But did they. Did they chuck it out onto the WNBA floor? Is that how you fixed it?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Flip Orley]

Green.

[Brett Vesely]

Where. What else? Have you fixed them all?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I've. I've fixed nine. I've got three.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. Three to go. And there's no new girls thinking maybe be tattoos for her.

[Brady Bogan]

No. You know what I think? I think the last divorce. Hard to believe.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I think the fifth one really broke me.

[Brett Vesely]

It finally no more dating, no prostitutes from here on out.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, and this, ladies. I know this is horrible. This is not you. It's not you, it's me. It's not you, it's me.

[Brett Vesely]

That is so true.

[Brady Bogan]

But like I'll see an attractive woman like walking down the street, right? And I'll think to myself, oh, she's really attractive. But in a nanosecond, like my thoughts with you. I bet she wants my house. She wants to take all my stuff.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, it's like a Zillow screen comes.

[Brady Bogan]

Up and it's just like. It is such a sort of self control mechanism that has so I'm. I'm. And it's not even that I've got good stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a defense mechanism to ever losing more of your things.

[Brady Bogan]

Honestly, I can't tell you how many divorce attorneys kids I put through college.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, that's terrible. And so you got to stop it. And you're happier this way.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm. I'm happy as a piece.

[Brett Vesely]

Look at how. Look at how happy he was.

[Flip Orley]

He's glowing.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. By golly, I believe the man close. Flip is we're gonna take a break and bring it back because I was late. That's my fault. It's my fault. So we're gonna take a little break and we're gonna. You're Staying, though?

[Brady Bogan]

As long as you want me.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that's all right. Well, then you're going. Kidding? It's 8:56. Flip Orly is here this weekend. Desert Ridge and the Tempe Improv. Get it at Desert Ridge improv.com or Tempe improv.com. more flip coming up in a second. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. This flip's, right. We're talking about Flip. Orly is here. Desert Ridge Improv tonight, which is weird, but a Wednesday. Why not fill your Wednesday with fun, with Flip tonight. And if you miss them tonight, tomorrow, August 1st is Friday. And then you're gonna do the whole weekend.

[Flip Orley]

Something on your lip.

[Brett Vesely]

Tempe row. That's. We're just watching those videos.

[Flip Orley]

Rosebud.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. I was kissing flips Rose.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't even know I could make one.

[Brett Vesely]

We just showed Flip some rosebud videos. You didn't know that was a thing till.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't know that. I didn't know it was part of the human and anatomy.

[Brett Vesely]

And you're from New Orleans.

[Brady Bogan]

Lafayette, but close enough.

[Brett Vesely]

Close enough. That stuff's going on there constantly.

[Brady Bogan]

All the time.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I went to. There's. There's a place that serves, like, donuts. They're called beignets.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You heard of them?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't even know if I told the story before.

[Brett Vesely]

I think you brought us Ben.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah. You brought me a king cake.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Flip Orley]

Sent me one.

[Brady Bogan]

So there's a place called Cafe Dumont.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Which serves coffee and donuts.

[Flip Orley]

World famous.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, absolutely world famous. And. And beignets. So the last time I was there, I.

[Brett Vesely]

Idiot.

[Brady Bogan]

I ordered. I ordered a plate of beignet and a cafe olay. And then I asked the server for a straw, and she goes, you want to. You want a straw? And I go, yeah. She goes, you might burn yourself. And again, I'm pretty. Pretty used to using a straw. And then we started discussing the use of my tongue.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh.

[Brady Bogan]

Which was weird. And then it was a cold winter night, so she goes, would you like to stay?

[Brett Vesely]

I swear she's French. Sort of.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm pretending I'm pretty.

[Brett Vesely]

I can't tell.

[Brady Bogan]

She goes, would you like. Would you like to warn me? Warm up your. Your hands in my armpits? Yes. And I said, really? That that would be the place you would offer? And then she's like, ooh la la. Right.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

And the next thing I know, she's telling me that she's In a committed relationship with a really good man. A good man. He's a good man and he's really open minded. Would I like to go home with her? He'd be fine with it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Really. Was it Toledo or producer? He's a. Who knew? I didn't know that.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't tell you the part.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you close up?

[Brady Bogan]

So no. I was thinking, okay, best case, worst case scenario. Right?

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Best case scenario, I end up with a venereal disease and I'm robbed.

[Brett Vesely]

That's the best case. You could.

[Brady Bogan]

Worst case scenarios, I'm in a bathtub of ice missing a kidney and I just thought there's no good upside.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. They didn't see the upside. No. The best case would have been you made a new friend and you get to bang his wife in your world. Well, you've done it before.

[Brady Bogan]

No, actually not. No, I've. No.

[Brett Vesely]

You have had a friend's wife.

[Brady Bogan]

No, not. Never.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought the one that you were. You ended up almost marrying. Oh, I guess it wasn't his wife.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a way different deal.

[Flip Orley]

That's a whole different.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. You're right. I forgot one of them was your good friend's daughter. I forgot she was for a while.

[Brady Bogan]

She was of age.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I didn't say she was. But everybody's of age and play here. I'm just saying I got confused that you took another man's wife and then had that. You're right. No, that's. That's off limits. You draw that line.

[Brady Bogan]

I do draw that line. And I will have everyone listening know she was of age.

[Brett Vesely]

Of course. Yes. I'm not trying to implicate you in any crime.

[Brady Bogan]

She was not hypnotized. And there were. There was. There was no pharmaceutical.

[Brett Vesely]

I was just saying this was my friend's daughter. Yeah. And then you guys fell in love when she was properly aged.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. Like a good steak.

[Brady Bogan]

All true.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. And that's fine.

[Brady Bogan]

But I never worried about missing a kidney with her.

[Brett Vesely]

That's true. You know what? You make a strong point. I stand corrected. Flip Orly. I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You wouldn't do that.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

Off limits.

[Brady Bogan]

I just went to. I just went to the doctor about 10 days ago for just an annual. My doctor combined with a bunch of other doctors for a bigger practice. And that's really impersonal. It's a really big building and so they call me back and they're going to draw blood. So I'm waiting in this big waiting room with other People table and. And all of a sudden, waiting 15, 20 minutes, and I hear this gal come out of the. The phlebotomy room.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And she's like, felipe. And I'm on my phone, felipe, Felipe. And nobody's moving. Nobody's looking up. So I stand up and I walk behind her, and I look at the chart, and the name on there is Flip.

[Brett Vesely]

Your name.

[Brady Bogan]

My name?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So I go, I think you're. I think you're calling me. She goes, are you Felipe? I go, nope. She goes, what? I go, no. I go, see the chart? She goes, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I go.

[Brady Bogan]

I go, read the first name. She goes, philippe. I go, no, Felipe.

[Brett Vesely]

I've never seen this word.

[Brady Bogan]

And I won't. I won't tell her. I go. I go, what are the. What are the first. What are the letters of the first name? She goes, flip. I go, right. Say that, Felipe. No, this is going on for literally, like, three minutes, right? I go, okay, okay. I'm not going to tell you how to pronounce it, but I'm. I'm going to give you hints.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

She goes, okay. I go, have you ever tossed a coin in the air to see if it goes heads or tails?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And she's. Yeah. I go, what do you call that? She goes, well, you flip a coin. I go, that's it. She goes, philippe. I go, no, no.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Have you ever jumped off a diving board and you turned a circle in the air?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And she goes, yeah. I go, what do you call that? She goes, it's a flower flip.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, here we go. She still doesn't know how to say.

[Brady Bogan]

And I think you all know that I'm not exaggerating. I'm not kidding.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no, no. You've seen people listening.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

So.

[Brady Bogan]

So I go. I go, okay, let's try it one more time. Have you ever made a pancake? She goes, yeah. I go, you know how it's done on one side but not on the other side? She goes, yeah. What do you do to make it done on the other side? She goes, well, you're Flip. And then I proceed to tell everyone in the office about the story. Story. Anyway, I thought she was just some gal reading my name. Turns out she was my phlebotomist.

[Brett Vesely]

She's taking the blood, so. Oh, my God. It's completely bruised up from 10 days. How did you survive this?

[Brady Bogan]

And, oh, my God.

[Flip Orley]

She used the biggest needle possible, by the way. Is that a pipeway off target?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Vein isn't even there.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think that she was trying hard.

[Brett Vesely]

She's hitting you in the elbow. Who showed him? Oh, you've made a mockery of her.

[Flip Orley]

Put the needle in and started fishing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't know she was the phlebotomist. Otherwise I would have. I would have given better hints.

[Flip Orley]

I just got with Felipe.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I just gone.

[Flip Orley]

See, let's go back.

[Brett Vesely]

Blood. Yeah. Oh, my God. Flips. Terrifying.

[Brady Bogan]

The doctor.

[Brett Vesely]

You married her, of course.

[Brady Bogan]

Of course.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

She's getting my house.

[Flip Orley]

She got a house.

[Brett Vesely]

She got a house. She took your blood. She's getting a key. Cheese.

[Brady Bogan]

So. So I, I like to mess with the doctor just because he's got a decent sense of humor.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So it's a full, you know, annual exam. So he does the prostate thing.

[Brett Vesely]

He had to go in the back door. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

There was no rosebud.

[Brett Vesely]

You might have been happy.

[Brady Bogan]

So. So when they're all done with that, right, he hands me like some, some like, toilet tissue to clean up, right? And I go, I go, excuse me. He goes, yeah. I go, moments like this, I'm looking for something a little bit more industrial and I pull out of my pocket, I go, bounty. The quicker.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, God, you brought props. You like the carrot top of a colonoscopy. Thanks a lot, Carrot Top. Yuck. Did you, ah.

[Brady Bogan]

He responded the same way.

[Brett Vesely]

I called you carrot top and then left. Yeah, he did. He walked out.

[Brady Bogan]

He actually told me right after that, after the bounty thing. He goes, by the way, I'm retiring and I don't know if that's true or if it's just true for me.

[Brett Vesely]

Because of your ass. You're the last ass I ever want to say. I'm not going in any man's ass anymore.

[Flip Orley]

That's it.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm done.

[Brady Bogan]

I looked him, I go, I got prostate of a 16 year old boy. And he goes, honestly? I go, yeah, yeah. 25 year old man.

[Brett Vesely]

That's.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll take it. I will, I will take it.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm the same. They did a ultrasound on me and saw that all my organs are like.

[Brady Bogan]

They came back, they did an ultrasound.

[Brett Vesely]

It's awesome. All over. They can check your bladder and your.

[Brady Bogan]

I got a, I got a digital rectal.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't. I won't do those. I'm convinced, and I've said this for years, that they've kept that exam alive, delaying it. The technology we can shoot, we can catch a rocket. You still have to use your fingers. There's nothing you can probe from the front and I've got this other thing that can see all my organs. I think it's a power move by doctors just to finger us.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, you know, it could be a power move by the patient.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, if the patients like it. I don't know your game, but I just don't.

[Flip Orley]

Robot finger on the way.

[Brett Vesely]

We don't need to do it that way. There's got to be like a. You could poop in a box and send it to a place and they're like, oh, we'll do it.

[Brady Bogan]

I could, but I won't.

[Brett Vesely]

But I don't want to do that either. Look, I don't want to know anything's wrong with my anus because that just means more visits to the doctor where they got to take a look at my anus. If that, if that breaks down on me, I'm all done here. Right? I'm, I'm. And good luck to you and yours.

[Brady Bogan]

I've had really bad medical experiences over the last year or two.

[Brett Vesely]

With your anus?

[Brady Bogan]

No, just with the whole. I, I, I woke up one day with double vision. Did, did I.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, this. I just out of the blue, I went to bed fine, woke up, double vision. And I had to go, I had to drive 1200 miles to go to Virginia. So I get an appointment with an ophthalmologist. And I go, I'm here because I've got double vision. And he put his nose like about three inches from mine. And he goes, yep. I'm like, wait, was, was that, was that the exam? And he goes, yeah. I go, but, but he goes, I can see it.

[Brett Vesely]

I go, no, I can see. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So I go, what happened? He goes, you want my medical, like, professional opinion?

[Brett Vesely]

I want a truck driver to tell.

[Brady Bogan]

And I go, yeah, what happened? He goes, bad luck. I go, what? I go, is it an injury? He goes, no, just bad luck. I go, what caused it? He goes, are you not listening? Bad luck.

[Brett Vesely]

You caught bad luck?

[Brady Bogan]

I caught bad luck.

[Brett Vesely]

That's your medical diagnosis, was bad luck. How do you fix bad luck?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, he told me to go to Walmart and get a pair of non prescription glasses and then bring them back back and they put like a sticker over, over one.

[Flip Orley]

Oh, you patched an eye?

[Brady Bogan]

No, it wasn't a patch. It was like a prism kind of a thing. Because the next day I had to drive to Virginia. I had shows in Virginia. So I call up the club in Virginia and I go, I may not be able to make it. I've got this double vision thing. And even if I can drive there, which I don't think I can, but if I can, I'm afraid of falling off the stage.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Comedy club people write. He goes, oh, don't worry, we'll put up baby gates. You'll be fine.

[Brett Vesely]

People love that. Did you do it? Yeah, you made it. And this is. And people are listening going, just fly. Fly. That flip doesn't fly.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't fly. But I drove like a pirate.

[Brett Vesely]

Double vision makes sense. With one eye, that's vision.

[Flip Orley]

The other eye was like looking like a fly.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah. Did you have. So you're still driving everywhere?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that. And you're still in the truck with no electronics?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I'm doing rental cars, which I.

[Brett Vesely]

Hate them because they can trace you.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I mean, I don't do anything illegal. It's just more a matter of principle.

[Brett Vesely]

You rent a car from your house, drive it to here.

[Brady Bogan]

Here, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

So you drove from Louisiana to here, 1400 miles, and you left Monday?

[Brady Bogan]

No, I did. I worked Stand Up Live in Phoenix.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Memorial Day weekend.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you did? So you've been staying here?

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, I didn't stay here. They, they contacted me. They had had the guy that was supposed to do the shows at Stand up got sick and so they called me like Wednesday and they go, can you do shows starting Friday? And I'm like, all right, I'll figure it out. So I got in the car Thursday, I drove. Drove 24 hour. A 20 hour drive in 24 hours. I got to Phoenix at like 3 or 4 o' clock in the afternoon and was on stage that night at like 7.

[Brett Vesely]

What is wrong with you? Trains. Ever think of trains?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, what a good idea. No.

[Brett Vesely]

Greyhound.

[Brady Bogan]

Now, now you're talking stupid.

[Brett Vesely]

At least you could sleep a little. I mean, you're gonna lose a kidney there too, but at least you could sleep a little bit. I've heard there's room free prostate exams on a Greyhound town, by the way.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, you know what? I, I got a colonoscopy once. And it's the only reason why I got one once is because I had met my deductible and I thought, what can I get for free?

[Brett Vesely]

And you got a freebie, but you're healthy. Just a double vision. And an occasion.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, no, now I, now. So I, I, I, so I ended up with a fluid in my left ear.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay?

[Brady Bogan]

And so I go to, I go to an ent, by the way, and I was talking to Brad. Hey, Brad, from the 10pm Prophet.

[Brett Vesely]

That's that's right. And you're gonna be there. Yeah. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

So I. By the way, hi, Debbie Keller.

[Brett Vesely]

She's here too.

[Flip Orley]

Shout out.

[Brady Bogan]

So. So I like, I got fluid my ear, and I got an ear infection. So I went to the ENT and I go, I can't hear out of my left ear because I have. I flew in my ear. And so that ENT goes, let's do a hearing test. And I go, for who? And he goes, what? I go, well, I just told you I can't hear, so I don't think I need the hearing test.

[Brett Vesely]

Test.

[Brady Bogan]

And if you miss that part, maybe you should check yourself out. I can't. I can't hear. And he goes, how about mri? And I go, dude, don't upsell me.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And he's like, mammogram. I'm like.

[Brett Vesely]

Just put the drops in.

[Brady Bogan]

I swear to you.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I said to the doctor, I go, look, I'm a patient, not a customer. Stop upselling me.

[Brett Vesely]

That's good stuff right there.

[Brady Bogan]

It didn't work out.

[Brett Vesely]

No. And then he just jammed something in your ear too.

[Flip Orley]

He did all things.

[Brady Bogan]

Then when I left, they tried to charge me for the hearing test.

[Brett Vesely]

But they didn't give you. Yeah, because you already gave him the results when you got there. I can't hear.

[Brady Bogan]

I go, here's the hearing test. I plug up my right ear, and I go talk. And I can see his lips moving. I'm like, yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Nothing. I got nothing. Test over. I can't hear. Write that on your chart. That's gold. We were talking about global warming, too. Because we were talking yesterday. You live in New Orleans. You survived a couple of hurricanes.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, well, Lafayette. I don't need to go. Correct. But whatever.

[Brett Vesely]

I always say that nobody knows where.

[Brady Bogan]

South Louisiana, Southern Southern Louisiana.

[Brett Vesely]

But the earthquake yesterday in Russia, and then everybody on the tsunami watch, and I start wondering that. Doesn't it, like. Because hurricanes you can kind of predict. Like, you get a gate, there's at.

[Brady Bogan]

Least a three day. Like, heads up.

[Brett Vesely]

Didn't it worry you yesterday that the. The idea of a tsunami is basically all of the Pacific Ocean is.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe that doesn't bother me at all.

[Brett Vesely]

Because you're never going to. To go.

[Brady Bogan]

I honestly can't drive to Hawaii. I. I. Yes, right. I. There's. There's. I won't go to the West Coast.

[Brett Vesely]

Really.

[Brady Bogan]

I won't go to Washington State, Oregon, or.

[Brett Vesely]

Or California because of the Democrats.

[Brady Bogan]

I won't say why. I just.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. I'm taking a Shot in the dark there. Is that it?

[Brady Bogan]

You know what?

[Brett Vesely]

It could.

[Brady Bogan]

It's. It's one of the life's little mysteries.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it gun laws because you're toting around in arsenal. I know that. I've known you long enough to know that.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's just see, I've got the three be.

[Brett Vesely]

But you don't go into those states just because it's a hassle.

[Brady Bogan]

It is a hassle.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Is that why, though, you can say it's okay, everybody, a little bit.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it's a hassle. I just, I don't. It's a hassle.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not worth the pay.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

Certainly isn't worth the. Of it.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what? So, so.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, did I mention you'll never go to the coast? So you never have to worry about. You have no empathy or anything for the tsunami warnings because it's never going to affect you. I'm the same way.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, for the radio, I have a lot of empathy, sure.

[Brett Vesely]

But like, people are listening, but often air, you know, off air, it's like, what do I care? I mean, I'm in Phoenix and we, we. Global warming, tsunamis.

[Brady Bogan]

There's an upside.

[Brett Vesely]

There's a silver lining. I like to think of silver linings and everybody, everybody calls me the pessimist. But no.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God, you're. You're definitely glass half full.

[Brett Vesely]

That is right, because glass half full means if that water shows up, our temperatures drop like 15 degrees, we become the Inland Empire.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[Brett Vesely]

And somewhere out around Gila Bend is a beautiful beachfront. Our property values are going to skyrocket.

[Brady Bogan]

Buy real estate now.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brady Bogan]

By the way, I'm not a professional and you don't take investment advice.

[Brett Vesely]

Right. But if you were gonna plan for it, because yesterday was proof to me that they have no idea how to tell anybody a tsunami with any sort of accuracy when the swath of their guests was Alaska to Hawaii.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. No, I mean, honestly, the cone of uncertainty with, with hurricanes is much more accurate.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Than the western hemisphere.

[Brett Vesely]

Right. Yeah. You better get higher ground. Western hemisphere of planet Earth.

[Brady Bogan]

But you know what? People are stupid.

[Brett Vesely]

That's true.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, and compared to like animals, I've seen tsunamis. You know what happens first? You have no one.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I was gonna say tell me that story. Talk about bad luck.

[Brady Bogan]

No, but like have with tsunamis, I believe, like the ocean first of all goes away, it disappears. Right. And so animals run for higher ground. People like, where'd the water go? Let's go investigate. And they literally go like, into what.

[Flip Orley]

Gets you good shells.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Follow an elephant and then you see.

[Brady Bogan]

Like a 50 foot wave come. They're like, I don't think I can outrun that.

[Brett Vesely]

There were people on the beach in Hawaii yesterday watching, just in case. Yeah, they deserve it. But. But that's weird though, that they can. They're like 10 o' clock tomorrow, Pacific time, 7 o', clock, Hawaii time. It just might all go away.

[Flip Orley]

How many people are there also?

[Brett Vesely]

Might not, you know, we don't know it, but isn't that true every day?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Something may or may not happen.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. It's the worst warning ever. Something bad happened in Russia. Russia. Has anyone told Hawaii August 13, someone's.

[Brady Bogan]

Gonna slip and fall in the bathtub? Maybe, sort of.

[Brett Vesely]

We don't know, maybe not. But we're pretty sure it could happen. So seek higher ground. It's the craziest thing in the world. You just don't know. And I always said that, like, you live in hurricane country.

[Brady Bogan]

I do.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd never live on an island. And one of the biggest reasons why is if I lived here. And they pointed Camelback Mountain, they say every October or so that thing gets up and starts running around unpredictably. Right. I'm not living here. No, but you, but there you are right there.

[Brady Bogan]

The thing of it is, is the thing of it is most, not all, but most hurricanes come from, like, the coast of Africa.

[Brett Vesely]

It's their fault.

[Brady Bogan]

It is their fault. But.

[Brett Vesely]

But like Africans.

[Brady Bogan]

So you can, you can track them. And then, and then when it gets to the point where it's like towards the U. S, you go, oh, this is going to go up the East Coast.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Not going to affect me.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Or it's going in the Gulf. And you go, if it's going in the Gulf, I'm going to start paying more attention.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

By the time it gets in the Gulf, there's still three to five days before.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

So like on two or three days out, if it looks like it's come to Lafayette, it's like, oh, time for a road trip. Yeah, I'm out.

[Brett Vesely]

You get a job here in Phoenix, you start hypnotizing folks over at the Stand Up Bard. Pick up your dog. You're working at KUPD every morning your dreams have come true.

[Brady Bogan]

But like, you know, tornadoes, earthquakes, there's no warning.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

If you have to be in a natural disaster region, I think your best.

[Brett Vesely]

Bets are the hurricane, I would guess. Yeah. I would go hurricane, tornado quaking, earthquake, tsunami. Because they're kind of hand in Hand. I think that's my order. I think you're right.

[Brady Bogan]

So, I mean, I'm lifting in the. In the best of the bad worlds.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Of all the crap, that's the. Probably the one you can run from fast.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, yeah. I mean, I've got time to go ahead and get, you know, my arsenal and put it in the car.

[Brett Vesely]

Essentially. You're saying hurricanes are like bad guys in wheelchairs. You can get away from them.

[Brady Bogan]

Exactly.

[Brett Vesely]

But you know what?

[Brady Bogan]

If I ran prison Roller.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

If I were in prisons, I would take away all the weight equipment and the entire diet would be Twinkies. Make them fat and make them fat and diabetic so that when they get out and they're paroled, they're not going to be a menace to society.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not a bad idea.

[Brady Bogan]

I have a plan.

[Brett Vesely]

Why are we getting them in such great shape? We should just be feeding them nothing but sugar and starch.

[Brady Bogan]

First of all, you're getting all the criminal mind. Right, like, together so they can become better criminals where they plot together and then you're putting them in good shape and then you're setting them out on Gordon Brady.

[Brett Vesely]

Wouldn't be a bad idea. Is he just kind of like five meals a day? Five hots and a mattress.

[Flip Orley]

Five hots.

[Brett Vesely]

We're taking that. You a queen size. We're gonna make you guys so happy here. Fat and happy. That's not a bad idea for prison.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it would work.

[Brett Vesely]

All the tattoos would be like cakes and, like, they'd come out. Culinary experts have more chefs than we know what to do with. Send them to Africa world and start having them cook.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my God.

[Brett Vesely]

You changed the world accidentally right here, my friend. Nice job. Now let's get to what you're doing tonight. Tomorrow, Both nights you get to Desert Ridge. Improv is where you had go see Flip Orly is going to hypnotize people. And then Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the 10pm Prep, you're covering five days this week, which is huge. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, one tonight, one tomorrow. And we. I just gave you the suggestion question to have the hypnosis go. Ozzy Osborne is being buried today. I. Well, let's do an Aussie tribute.

[Brady Bogan]

I wasn't going to. I knew he died, obviously.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

But to do a tribute would be really fun.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. To have the people do all the work and have everybody can do kind of a terrible Aussie impression. So have him up there knock out a couple of tunes.

[Brady Bogan]

I may just try to figure out that's nothing. It's a nice Wednesday. It's fine.

[Brett Vesely]

You've got. It's basically an open mic test some stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Tonight I'm in.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I like about Flip.

[Brady Bogan]

No material Wednesday.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's see what you've got Wednesday. What are you good at now? I won't even hypnotize you. Just grab the mic and go crazy. Flip Orly tonight and to tomorrow. Desert Ridge improv.com is where you get tickets. Grab those and we'll keep you up on the weekend as well. Change the world again. Give us some words of wisdom, Flip. Tell us what you got.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm transitioning. Are you into other than here? In. In the Phoenix area? I'm getting out of comedy clubs.

[Brett Vesely]

Why?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm moving to theaters.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you're gonna start doing theaters.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm transitioning to theaters.

[Brett Vesely]

Is this because they've asked you or you've just. You've decided? I'm going to start booking theater.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm forcing myself on them.

[Brett Vesely]

No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

It's forced love.

[Brett Vesely]

So you're going from these places to one night onlys at theaters? I feel like 1500, 2000 people.

[Brady Bogan]

It's gonna be 500 to 2,500.

[Brett Vesely]

How do you hypnotize 13 people?

[Brady Bogan]

Talk louder.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[Flip Orley]

And another 700.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't be a dick.

[Flip Orley]

Plus in the audience.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I'm just saying because you basically you say is, if you want to get hypnotized, come up here.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm looking for a donnybrook.

[Brett Vesely]

You're gonna have a tsunami of idiots.

[Flip Orley]

Let alone the people out in the audience.

[Brett Vesely]

The first hour is going to be just getting people off the stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to have like. Okay, I only need 13 or 14 of you.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm. I'm doing four hour shows. Two hours is just stage management clearing.

[Brett Vesely]

How in the world are you going to do that? This. You don't know?

[Brady Bogan]

I. I've done theaters before.

[Brett Vesely]

I know, but I mean, how does it work?

[Brady Bogan]

It's just. What? Yeah, you know, you figure it out.

[Brett Vesely]

Man, oh, man, that sounds like a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm excited.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that's too much.

[Brady Bogan]

You said I was glowing when it first came in.

[Brett Vesely]

That's why.

[Brady Bogan]

Because I'm transitioning.

[Brett Vesely]

When's your first theater show coming?

[Brady Bogan]

Let's see. September 13th at the Marion Theater in Ocala.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

September 17th at the Arts theater in Hobart, Indiana.

[Brett Vesely]

In Hobart?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. September 19th. Which is, I believe, Believe our Pirates Day.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

In the Park Theater in Holland, Michigan.

[Brett Vesely]

So you're doing Midwest stuff here right now.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. But I've got a bunch plan.

[Brett Vesely]

And these are 1500 seaters.

[Brady Bogan]

A little bit 500 to 220.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. That's pretty. Well, geez. Our stand up here is the 600, right at Tempe. We got some big spots here.

[Brady Bogan]

The difference is it's going to be one show, and if I do like three hours, nobody's going to be upset. No, it's really hard to do three hours on a Friday first show when you have to go ahead and do another. Yeah, do another one. So. Well, how about that?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, well, good luck with that. A lot more money in that.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know yet.

[Brett Vesely]

Fingers are crossed.

[Brady Bogan]

It could be less good money, I don't know. But you know what?

[Brett Vesely]

It's fun.

[Brady Bogan]

I. You know what? Like all the cool kids are transitioning. I wanted to also.

[Brett Vesely]

You're tired. You're tired of these club owners. It's the real thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Not. Not these.

[Brett Vesely]

Not these guys here, but most all.

[Brady Bogan]

So I was doing. I was doing a club in. In Maryland, and they were horrible.

[Brett Vesely]

No kidding.

[Brady Bogan]

They were horrible. I hadn't even started hypnotizing people, and. And some woman in the audience started screaming, screaming, I love my family.

[Brett Vesely]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm afraid for my children. And the club did nothing. They did absolutely nothing.

[Brett Vesely]

Was she like an evangelist? She was afraid of your powers?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. So they forced me because it kept going on. It was like five, 10 minutes. I had to leave the stage to go check on her. Her eyes were closed. I hadn't started hypnotizing people yet. Just so you know. And. And I go to the guy, go, do. Do you know this woman? He goes, yeah, it's my wife. I go, go, do you have kids together? He goes, yeah. I go, are the kids okay? He's like, yeah, they're fine. I'm worried for my children. Ruined the entire show. The club never did anything. She eventually left. Now I get volunteers up on stage. I'm doing the hypnosis. The club sends me a note. She's on the lawn in a, like, light, misty rain. Like, I need to go. I need to go check.

[Brett Vesely]

It's your job to take a look at her.

[Brady Bogan]

I had to stop my show. Leave the.

[Brett Vesely]

Why did you say yes to that? I don't know. Is she kind of hot?

[Brady Bogan]

No, she was.

[Brett Vesely]

She sounds like a pig.

[Brady Bogan]

She was. Well, it's almost like you have a psychic moment.

[Brett Vesely]

So you went out and checked on the pig. How was she doing?

[Brady Bogan]

So I go to the feeding Yeah. I go to the husband. I go. I go, is she hypnotized? It's like, no. And she goes. She goes, you can't leave me. I'm like, are you talking to me or your husband? She's like, you. You have to hypnotize me. So I'm not embarrassed. I'm like, ma', am, I'm not that good. And even if I were, I wouldn't do it. Because you need some shame.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

You need to make better decision before going out. I go, what's going on with you? And she goes, I'm drunk ass. And then she dropped the F bomb.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm like, yeah, yeah. But no, like, what's going on with you? She goes, I did too many edibles.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh. She was high and messed up. Oh, my God. And did you have your mic outside talking to us?

[Brady Bogan]

No, but I went. I went back in after, because the guy goes, honey, the car's here. And she goes, okay, let's go. And she jumped up and she left. So I went back in on stage. 80% of the audience said stayed.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

So I go, do y' all want an update? And they go, yeah. So I told them the whole thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And then I go, I've never done this before, but y' all want to start over? And they're like, yeah, we really do. So I had to get volunteers on stage. The show ran, like, three and a half.

[Brett Vesely]

You started all over. You like Ralphie May. You're running four hour shows you don't care about. And then you told the club, go after yourselves.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, then the. The. The server for that table walked up to me, and she goes, could you believe that woman? I go, no. She goes, by the way, she was passed out of the table about 20 minutes before he asked for volunteers. I'm like, and you did. Nobody booed him out.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. This is terrible. What's the name of this club? I. Come on, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. I'm gonna treat you like a phlebotomist.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, Felipe.

[Brady Bogan]

Felipe, what happens when a band does their entire set? They leave the stage, but the audience wants encores.

[Brett Vesely]

Encore. And kura. It's called Encore in Maryland, and it sucks. You're getting sued. That's all right. You're not going back.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't say anything. You're getting sued.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I. I could get sued up there. Trust me. I'll just ignore it. Just ignore it like a bill. Big deal. Pay those things. That's weird. All right, Flip. What. What could happen tonight?

[Brady Bogan]

So you know what? But but the Tempe Improv and Desert Ridge Improv and Stand Up Live group, they take care of business. They make sure the audience is doing the right thing and has fun and they make sure the sh. Shows work. But, like, it's getting worse around the country and I just. I had made the executive decisions, like I'm. I'm moving to theaters. My show's going to be better there, and I'm making it happen.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Very excited.

[Flip Orley]

Pretty awesome. The comedian's leaving. He'll be. He's got to step outside.

[Brett Vesely]

I've never had the club just go. We don't know what to do. Maybe Flip will. He's busy right now. Yeah, but he's the only one that will know what. How to handle this mental basket case.

[Brady Bogan]

So the gal who took too many gummies. Yeah. And who drank to oblivion in. And it's the hypnotist.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Let's. Let's make sure it's you that can fix. They thought maybe you could snap her out of her spell.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm. I. My snapper doesn't work like that.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, no, I've. I've seen you do it. Yeah.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah. Well, she took a nap before the show.

[Brett Vesely]

This is terrible. On course, I've never been and I'm never going, that's for sure. Flip, always a pleasure.

[Brady Bogan]

Thanks.

[Brett Vesely]

Enjoy your way. If you want to stay for the entertainment drill, you can too. You want to stick around for a little bit? He's already screwed up the whole day.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, I've got the headphones on. I'm sticking.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. He's got some people you need to talk to. We'll do some. Yeah, we got a couple people. Brady's got a rash he wants you to look at. Also, Dr. Flip Orly this weekend. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? Holmberg's morning sickness. You laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Flip Orly sticking around today? We skipped over rock wars, which is fine because Flip was here today. Hypnotized us into doing the whole show with him. I don't know how this happened. The Flip Orly show continues this morning at 9:15 and you can see it tonight as well. Now, you have anything special planned for your Wednesday show? Outside of my incredible Aussie idea?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, Ozzy's going to take up a good part of the night.

[Brett Vesely]

You think so? Yeah. Are you really gonna do it?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna try.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. Do you have any premise ideas that you can tease us?

[Brady Bogan]

Not yet, but I'm putting the. I'm putting the thinking cap on when I get back to the hotel.

[Brett Vesely]

I like that it was this funeral day, so you can think of, like, maybe Ozzy eulogizing you at your funeral.

[Brady Bogan]

Ooh.

[Brett Vesely]

I just like the idea of people trying to do impressions. They can't do impressions of obvious characters like him.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, it's funny, like, a lot of times when I have people doing accents or whatever while their eyes are closed, I'm giving the suggestion I will do a bad example of that. Of that voice.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

So they know what it is. Right. You know, it's like when you're asking me and you'll be from England, and they'd be talking like, you're from England, and they still can't get it.

[Brett Vesely]

They can't do it. And the worst parts is when they try to. And it's sort of.

[Flip Orley]

Which makes it hilarious.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, the ones who do it good.

[Brady Bogan]

It'S actually less good when it's good, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Exactly. When they do it good, it's like, oh, this stinks. This person's supposed to fall on their face. That's the fun of it.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it's like Chuck Barris when they made the Gong Show. He goes like he wanted a bad talent show because he goes, what's interesting about decent people doing decent?

[Brett Vesely]

Right. That's just a regular show, right? Yeah. You see the people goofing around thinking they're good. That was the best part of American Idol.

[Flip Orley]

And then go kill people after recording the shows.

[Brett Vesely]

Chuck Barris had us. That's pretty awesome. And I wondered about that when I watched Chuck, you know that he was a CIA operator.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Of course you know that. Because I wondered sometimes if that's you.

[Brady Bogan]

I can neither confirm nor deny.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if you had that secret. What is a secret that you can't tell us?

[Brady Bogan]

Like, let it out now.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's. Those. It's up.

[Brady Bogan]

My silence should speak volumes.

[Brett Vesely]

That's all I say. I'm pretty sure you've done something for the government before.

[Brady Bogan]

Probably not the government, you know, MK Ultra, but whatever, you know?

[Brett Vesely]

What's your favorite conspiracy? Do you have one that you're like, oh, that's definitely my.

[Brady Bogan]

My favorite one. And this will get me in trouble.

[Brett Vesely]

Go.

[Brady Bogan]

This will get me in trouble.

[Brett Vesely]

We never went to the moon.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I like that one.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

I bet Michelle Obama's. Dude.

[Brett Vesely]

We say that all the time. You're not gonna Get Big Mike. Wait a minute. That's a conspiracy. That was just known.

[Brady Bogan]

I, I just, I'm desperate for it.

[Brett Vesely]

To be true to me for the laughs and how hysterical that would be.

[Brady Bogan]

For no other reason.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, for a while there, there was that guy that Obama used to know that said he was gay. Him. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And he explained that Obama would bang on his door at night, in the middle. Not when he's president, but before. And he was just lamenting.

[Brady Bogan]

He loved when he was president. The Secret Service banged on his door.

[Brett Vesely]

Obama had to give.

[Brady Bogan]

Obama gave up that, that job to.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. And then he realized, hey, I got this pretty. But yeah. I, I. For the sake of hilarity, I want that to not only be true, but revealed.

[Brady Bogan]

What, what people, I think sometimes fail to recognize is that people who have a comedic job.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of times want something horrible, not because they. They think it's a good thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

But because they think it's a funny thing.

[Brett Vesely]

It's just hysterical.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And.

[Brett Vesely]

And so the dildo getting tossed at those girls at the wnba, but could be potentially damaged.

[Flip Orley]

Very dangerous.

[Brett Vesely]

Hilarious. And. And I laughed because nobody got hurt. I probably would have laughed a little harder if somebody took one in the back.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. In the back. You know, what if I don't want head drama? Well, I was thinking something lower is like, you know, if it's.

[Brett Vesely]

But see, right there, I'll tell you that. Yeah. But here's another thing. I just thought of it when I said it. How funny is it, though, if it did hit her in the head and it said head trauma?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, because it is kind of. Yeah. See, there's always an angle of funny.

[Brady Bogan]

But, like, if we didn't go to the moon.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I honestly would. Would laugh every day the minute that came out.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. That we didn't go, oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

That would be the best.

[Brett Vesely]

My, My conspiracy theories are conspiracies against the conspiracies, which is. Is Lee Harvey Oswald was nuts and by himself.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, really?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Like, yeah, he was mad about some stuff and probably hung out with bad dudes, but he decided to take it into his own hands. I'm almost positive that's true because nobody wants to believe that a single lunatic can change the course of history. They want to believe it's much bigger than that because it scares us if it isn't true.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, the guy who shot Ferdinand.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That was a dude, wasn't it?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it was a fella.

[Brady Bogan]

I was a fellow.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, it wasn't like A CIA backed or. I think he. No, he was an angry guy with a.

[Brett Vesely]

And started World War I.

[Flip Orley]

Son of one of the higher ups.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't even know who did it, but I know it was the. They were upset about a ton of different things, and he just took it in his own hands and started World War I.

[Brady Bogan]

And according to the docudrama I watched.

[Brett Vesely]

So, you know, it's true.

[Brady Bogan]

I think he missed initially and he had to run around to refine the.

[Brett Vesely]

Car to find him again. Yeah, he left an alley, right. It was a certain spot. He wanted to do it. Yeah. Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Ferdinand. Now we. We toy with it. It's a band.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Archdiocese. There's a. There's a Franz Ferdinand band. Come on. We don't care that much.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it's not that anything's inappropriate. It's just how long you have to wait before it becomes appropriate.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And for me, exactly zero minutes.

[Brett Vesely]

Zero. Yes. The. The wait time for you is not long. It's time now for Brady to give you all the entertaining news he knows. It's called the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail], the home of tactical black self defense training. You should go with me to do the gun retention thing. I've told you that before.

[Brady Bogan]

I just beg people to leave my gun alone.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that's. That's. That's a start. But there is a thing where you just like, holy cow, there's so much you can do when somebody actually taps it or tries to get it right. Bad guy ever feels that you've got one and he's trying to wrestle you. All sorts of gun retention things. They do all sorts of things to make you more aware of your surroundings. For crying out loud. People get off your phones and look around, know where you are at all times. Because a dude walked past a bunch of people two days ago with an AR15 next to him and no one did a thing. Got 33 floors up.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't believe that's true. Because of the gun laws in New York. I know that it's illegal.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. They have gun laws that says you can't do that, Right? That could be a conspiracy. This all is fake. 33 stories. He got up in an elevator and nobody did a thing about it. You have to be aware of your surroundings. They teach you that becoming a sheepdog, not as hard as you think. Plus, you learn how to punch, you learn how to fight, you learn how to get in great shape. And you feel Better about yourself. Yourself. Do it right now. The price is unbelievable. Two months training. 199 bucks. And that's all they offer. Every class. Everything they can bring you is right there on that price. And you're not getting personal training like that anywhere else for that price especially. Check it out. React defense.com the home of tactical black Brady entertainment.

[Flip Orley]

Happy Gilmore 2 just set a new record for Netflix for the biggest US opening weekend of all time for an original movie.

[Brett Vesely]

Absolutely nothing happens in this place. Movie.

[Brady Bogan]

How could they call it an original movie when it's the same movie from 30 years ago?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, Happy Gilmore 2. Yeah. The new one.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[Brett Vesely]

Is not an original idea. But it's a brand new movie.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, you understand that they're both older.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. The new thing is it's just the old. It's older Happy. It's late term Happy Gilmore.

[Brady Bogan]

It's now Grumpy Gilmore.

[Brett Vesely]

It's crotchety Old Gilmore. But it is not.

[Flip Orley]

46.7 million views over the three days.

[Brett Vesely]

And then.

[Flip Orley]

Then the original Happy Gilmore made it to number three on Netflix. Netflix global top 10 people trying to.

[Brett Vesely]

Figure out what this is. And this is the reason F in Law is happening in November.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait, are you kidding me?

[Brett Vesely]

No. Because we watch it. Society. And I'm guilty of it. I wanted to watch that terrible movie and I was not disappointed. It's worse than I thought it was going to be.

[Flip Orley]

Well, here's a spin off. You might.

[Brett Vesely]

Awful.

[Flip Orley]

Like, is the spin off from Once Upon a Time? Time in la.

[Brett Vesely]

In Hollywood.

[Flip Orley]

In Hollywood.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. It's a different spin off.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that Quentin?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[Flip Orley]

They're taking Brad Pitt's character. Is he.

[John Holmberg]

Is Quentin involved in this?

[Flip Orley]

The Adventures of Cliff Booth.

[Brett Vesely]

His question is most important. Yeah. Is Quentin involved in this? Because he's only got one movie left to make.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because I don't think. I don't think he's involved in this. But I'm not sure.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it's a Harvey Wednesday.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm gonna. It could be. I'm gonna guess what this is. Is a prequel involved. All right. But that's not Quentin Tarantino.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And this will be a prequel. None of the people who are in Once Upon a Time will be in it. But this character, Young Fincher's the guy.

[Flip Orley]

Behind the killer, is going to be awful. 7.

[John Holmberg]

I'll probably still see it.

[Brett Vesely]

But I will too.

[Brady Bogan]

You are the problem.

[Brett Vesely]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And with this one. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I watched Happy. I. I hate watch Sandler movies because I just can't believe they still get made. I. I just don't get it. And this one is not going to disappoint you. Absolutely nothing happens. And he kills. Look, I'm tell you right now, he kills someone in the first three minutes. And the way he kills this person. Yeah, you heard Happy Gilmore too.

[Brady Bogan]

Really?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. Someone. Well, that's how Happy Gilmore started. In the first three minutes his dad got hit in the head with a hockey puck and died.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[Brett Vesely]

It. It as a character does not bother him at all that a loved one of his is killed with a golf ball. In fact, later, later there's a hilarious scene where he's hitting golf balls at people. It's like you'd think that would trigger you to go, guys, this is a bit of. But then we're supposed to believe he's triggered constantly by this horrific death that he caused, but yet he continues to do the exact same things. It doesn't make any sense.

[Brady Bogan]

The more you talk, the more respect I have for Mike Myers.

[Brett Vesely]

Mike Myers has some gems.

[Brady Bogan]

No, he eventually got it. He's like, I should probably. Should probably go away.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. If we see Austin powers in his 60s. These just get rid of Mike Myers completely. Let's launch him into space.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, you got some celebrity romance going on. We talked about Liam Neeson Anderson.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that true?

[Flip Orley]

They're supposedly smitten over doing a Naked Gun reboot.

[Brett Vesely]

They're a naked Gun together. Because that's another reboot that's coming out in a couple of weeks. You didn't know about that either? No, that's happening in two weeks.

[Flip Orley]

And then it. Tom Cruise and Anna De Armas. Yeah, the third one is Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they were at dinner the other night. Is he still. He's not Canada's anything anymore. He's just a dude wandering around.

[John Holmberg]

He's running his mouth.

[Flip Orley]

He's just wandering around running his mouth. That's all he does.

[Brady Bogan]

Are they making a Casa Blanca 2 yet?

[Brett Vesely]

They should. Cuz it's time.

[Brady Bogan]

It is time.

[Brett Vesely]

You know what? People see it. Yeah. They could do it with AI.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh honestly.

[Brett Vesely]

And I'd watch it.

[Brady Bogan]

Of course you would.

[Flip Orley]

According to the Raleigh Police Department, officers responded to reports 9:30pm Saturday evening. Multiple vehicles broken into at the Wiz Khalifa concert. Police said 13 vehicles, majority of which were Dodge brand vehicles. Mostly guns and cash stolen.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that true? No. No kidding.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Brett sh. Shocked.

[Brady Bogan]

I am suspicious.

[Flip Orley]

I knew you'd be shocked by that.

[Brett Vesely]

Man, those Hellcats got a better alarm systems. They Put that in the news. They got to just keep that quiet. The Wiz Khalifa guns and money theft. Come on. You're just going to make people like Brett laugh for hours. That's funny because it's true. You get a Uber to the Wiz Khalifa. Come on. It's terrible. He's terrible. He. Anytime it's close, he laughs. Flip Orley is going to be at Desert Ridge Improv tonight hypnotizing all of you. Tomorrow, doing the same. And then he's going to move over to Tempe and get the rest of this town. You're going to. You're going to get us all Flip Tempe Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Tempe. Improv.com is where you get tickets for those nights. Desert Ridge improv.com for tonight and tomorrow. That's it. Thanks for hanging around, man. Thank you for bring your hellcats. Always nice to have you. Yeah. And when you go to Flip show, if your cars get broken into, it's flip. Usually you're asleep at a show. It's.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, he does special ops. He's got a burner phone.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what it's my side hustle.

[Brett Vesely]

You got a side hustle? You know, getting out there. I'll be right back.

[Brady Bogan]

I could hit half the volunteers, right? Send them off stage to. To rummage through cars. Will I do the show with the other half of volunteers? Another good idea.

[Brett Vesely]

Great idea to have six of your 13 hypnotized people go on a scavenger hunt in the parking lot and bring back stuff and then say, whose car was this from?

[Brady Bogan]

I love that idea.

[Brett Vesely]

They go out and say, I want you to find me like a duck from a jeep. Because we all have ducks on our cash reward.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm bringing. Let's make it up tonight. Tire irons.

[Brett Vesely]

Give me a tire iron.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, so they can break the glass and get in.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody wins one and then go get something out of your car, find an unlocked door and bring me what's in the car.

[Brady Bogan]

No, that's what the tire ends for. You don't have to wait for the unlocked door.

[Brett Vesely]

How about this? This is a great idea.

[Brady Bogan]

I love this.

[Brett Vesely]

You hypnotize the few people and you go. I want you to go out into the parking lot. But Desert Ridge is tough because there's that mall, right? There's a lot of other stuff going on. But go out in the parking lot and find an unlocked car door and get the title of the car or the registration, bring it back in. And if that person's in this audience, they get a thousand dollars. Then nobody'd be mad at the car getting broken into.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, there's that, but where's the thousand coming. Coming from?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, we'll talk to Brad in the club. How about lunch with Flip the next day then? How about.

[Brady Bogan]

I did once have a hypnotized volunteer leave the. The club. Do you have like 30 seconds?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm plenty good. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, So I got mad at. At a cocktail server at the DC Improv because he kept nudging hypnotized people in the audience to wake him up to see if they wanted another cocktail. So I, I sent the most deeply hypnotized volunteer off stage with the suggestion that he was the supervisor of the. Of this one cocktail server.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And he was going to follow him around barking orders at him because I thought it'd be funny.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't know that the server would be a wussy with a P. And. And the cocktail server literally ran out of the club and started running down Connecticut Avenue.

[Brett Vesely]

He just quit.

[Brady Bogan]

And, and the volunteer went running after him, screaming at him all the way down Connecticut.

[Brett Vesely]

One of your hypnotized people got looted loose.

[Flip Orley]

Yeah, that was one of the better shows.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that dangerous?

[Brady Bogan]

It's not good.

[Brett Vesely]

Hypnotized person on the loose is not.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't think that. I didn't think the server was gonna leave the club.

[Brett Vesely]

You gotta go to his shows. You never know, especially if somebody gets upset. My favorite. Yeah. Keep it together, Flip. Always good to have you here. Flip. Early tonight at Desert Ridge. Friday, Saturday, Sunday at the 10:00pm Pro. We're done. Larry's coming up next. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness, Allah's most powerful powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

It's Brett and John for Action Ride Shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa.

[Brett Vesely]

The new location is your east valley full line bike shop with brands like Pivot Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain Giant Norco. And of course Action Ride Shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus being so close to the Hawes trailhead, they have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and even ebikes.

[John Holmberg]

Action Ride shop now with two locations. The brand new Shop of Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out at actionrideshop.com.