07-30-25 - Russian Earthquake Spawned Tsunami Warnings On West Coast - Ozzy's Funeral Taking Place Right Now In England - Back To School Time Brings About John's Annual Plea For Teachers To Quit If They're Frustrated

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: July 30, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: July 30, 2025

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Overview

In this engaging episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo navigate through a mix of serious news and lighthearted banter. The episode delves into the repercussions of a massive Russian earthquake, the ongoing funeral of rock legend Ozzy Osbourne in England, and the perennial back-to-school challenges faced by teachers. The hosts employ their signature humor to entertain, question, and disturb their audience, maintaining a lively and dynamic atmosphere throughout the broadcast.

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I. Russian Earthquake and Tsunami Warnings

The episode opens with a discussion about the colossal 8.8 magnitude earthquake that struck eastern Russia, raising concerns about potential tsunami warnings along the West Coast, including Hawaii and Japan.

Katie:
"Nobody has any idea what happens after an earthquake with tsunamis... They just don't know where."
[02:00]

Katie expresses skepticism about the accuracy and necessity of the broad tsunami warnings issued by multiple government agencies. She criticizes the lack of precise information and the resultant public panic, highlighting the unpredictability of tsunami events even after significant seismic activity.

Katie:
"If you see animals just all of a sudden it's like we're going high... They know something we don't."
[03:15]

Referencing the 2004 Indonesian earthquake, Katie underscores the unreliable nature of animal behavior as indicators of impending tsunamis, suggesting that official warnings might be more about legal safeguarding than scientific certainty.

John Holmberg:
"So we had some good friends that moved to Hawaii and they were... watching people on live feed sitting on the beach and the water didn't even touch their feet."
[05:03]

John shares anecdotal evidence from friends in Hawaii who observed the earthquake in real-time, noting the minimal immediate impact despite the initial fears of massive waves.

---

II. Ozzy Osbourne's Funeral in England

Shifting gears, the hosts discuss the high-profile funeral of Ozzy Osbourne, emphasizing its grandeur and public significance.

Katie:
"It's a royal funeral, like, they have... flowers and junk laying all over the ground, and it's pretty amazing."
[12:16]

Katie paints a vivid picture of the funeral procession, highlighting the widespread public participation and the ceremonial aspects that honor Ozzy's legacy.

Katie:
"He's the Prince of Darkness and the bat. He bit a bat's head off. He snorted ants off."
[13:32]

The hosts humorously recount Ozzy's notorious antics, blending factual references with exaggerated storytelling to celebrate his larger-than-life persona.

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III. Back to School and Teachers' Plea for Supplies

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the back-to-school season, with Katie delivering her annual critique of the educational system's expectations placed on teachers regarding classroom supplies.

Katie:
"If you're going to go to the news and we gotta buy our own supplies... Stop crying about the cruddy job you took. It's your fault they got this big thing."
[19:39]

Katie vents her frustration over the recurring issue of teachers having to purchase their own supplies, using sharp humor to underscore the financial strain and systemic neglect within the education sector.

Katie:
"If you do this, then you're gonna just leave and start the whole thing with how many of you are poor? ... Quit your jobs."
[26:19]

Advocating for extreme measures, Katie sarcastically suggests that dissatisfied teachers should quit, thereby highlighting the unsustainable expectations placed upon educators without adequate support or compensation.

Bret Vesely:
"Nobody advocates for us having to buy our own tools and do our own jobs... It's insane."
[28:11]

Bret echoes Katie's sentiments, extending the critique to tradesmen and other professions, drawing parallels between the struggles faced by teachers and those in other fields who also bear out-of-pocket expenses.

Throughout this segment, the hosts employ a blend of satire and candid commentary to discuss the challenges facing teachers, critiquing both the systemic issues and the societal attitudes that perpetuate these problems.

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Conclusion

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, the hosts skillfully navigate through a variety of topics, balancing serious discussions with humorous insights. Their dynamic interplay and candid perspectives offer listeners both entertainment and a critical lens on current events and societal issues. Whether dissecting the uncertainties surrounding natural disasters, celebrating a rock legend's legacy, or lampooning the educational system's shortcomings, John Holmberg and his co-hosts deliver a compelling and multifaceted narrative that resonates with their Arizona audience.

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Notable Quotes:

• Katie: "Nobody has any idea what happens after an earthquake with tsunamis... They just don't know where."
  [02:00]

• Katie: "If you see animals just all of a sudden it's like we're going high... They know something we don't."
  [03:15]

• Katie: "If you're going to go to the news and we gotta buy our own supplies... Stop crying about the cruddy job you took. It's your fault they got this big thing."
  [19:39]

• Katie: "If you do this, then you're gonna just leave and start the whole thing with how many of you are poor? ... Quit your jobs."
  [26:19]

• Bret Vesely: "Nobody advocates for us having to buy our own tools and do our own jobs... It's insane."
  [28:11]

---

Tune In:
Don't miss out on Arizona's top morning radio show! Listen to Holmberg's Morning Sickness weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), via the 98KUPD app, or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Katie]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? All right, it's miles to nowhere, Katie and the Hobbs getting us through the morning. It's Wednesdays and yeah, enough of the wnba. All the emails are very funny. You're being very funny today, people. I appreciate that. Nice job. But it is we should talk about a little bit the gigantic Russian earthquake that happened yesterday that had Everybody on edge. 8.8 magnitude earthquake that happened in eastern Russia and they had one thing after another coming up on the news saying Hawaii is going to get washed out and Japan's going away. Here's what I learned yesterday. Nobody has any idea what happens after an earthquake with tsunamis. They, I mean all of the, all of the Pacific Ocean was on alert. They're just like, we don't know, there should be some waves coming in at 10. Yesterday was the most cover your ass government world Agency thing just in case they all got on the same page, by the way, with the idea if you're going to die and if we don't tell you, you'll sue. So whoever is in charge of the world's earthquakes, you didn't have one government saying anything different. They were all like, yep, science all got together and said, warn Japan, warn Indonesia, warn Hawaii, warn Alaska, warn the west coast of the United States, warn everybody. The Pacific Ocean just might tip over and start spilling so we don't know where. So to me, that was a prime example of them saying, all right, if you're in Hawaii and they say we've been to Hawaii, been there a couple of times. You were there for an earthquake once?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Katie]

And they're go to higher ground. What's there? Like climb the volcano. Where do I go?

[Toledo]

How high?

[Katie]

Yeah, we'll just follow the animals. That's what you have to do. The scientists may think they know what's going on. Keep an eye on the animals. If all the wildlife just starts running for no reason, Katie, bar the door. They don't care about roads, cars or you or anything else. They're just running.

[Toledo]

And at Kona, the odds you find in a mongoose running for high country is right.

[Katie]

But you'll. If you, if you see them just all of a sudden it's like we're going high. It's like, okay, those guys know something we don't. That happened in that, that Indonesian 2004 when people were like, it was weird. Like they elephants and things that just started.

[Toledo]

Even the running trained ones.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah. They knew like, get out of here. Like this is not good. Get higher. So just follow them. Because the scientists are clueless when it comes to that. And they showed it yesterday. They did a great job though, because it was Japan on pace and on the same page as Russia, Alaska, Canada, United States. Everybody was like, just tell them it's bad because if this thing hits anywhere and we didn't say anything, they're going to go nuts and sue and whatever else. Let's save as many lives as possible. That we don't know what's going to happen. They still don't. But I guarantee you with an 8.8 quake, there's got to be a few aftershocks popping around up there, around. So they're, you know, the fact nothing happened was, is pretty amazing. But I watched like they had. It's the disgusting tragedy porn yuck. Of cameras on the coast of Hawaii. Let's watch it come in. And they kept cutting it to it in the news. Like we're taking a look. Here's a oahu, here's Honolulu, 10 o'. Clock. This thing might all just disappear. And they started to talk about wave surges of a foot. I don't know what that means. And then they tried to explain it to you. That was like, look, if you have a wave surge of a foot and it's all the way across and it's all the ocean coming in from that direction, that's the. There's more to that than like a 20 foot wave that just happens on its own. That'd cause some trouble. But a wave surge, like if all of a sudden it just went up a foot and the whole ocean moved towards your foot, it would be bad. I guess that's what it was. But they don't know for sure.

[John Holmberg]

So we had some good friends that moved to Hawaii and they were. He was texting me last night and about. I don't know, it was about 10:30 or something. He's like, what a joke. I'm watching people on live feed sitting on the beach and the water didn't even touch their feet.

[Katie]

It's. And there's the other thing.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't know if something else is coming or what.

[Katie]

Cover your ass. Nobody cares about the lives of the people in Hawaii. They're doing a cya. Get up on top of a building. We told you if you don't do it, don't get mad at whoever you can sue later. You can't do it. Don't get mad at the government for not warning you. Don't get mad at, you know, anybody. Your. Your house builder, you know, for not being compliant with tsunami. I don't know what the hell they build out there.

[Toledo]

Make sure you have flood insurance.

[Katie]

You're on an island. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Don't get in. Don't get mad at your insurance company for. We warned you. You should have picked up all your stuff and lifted it up to the second floor. That's horrifying. So I learned yesterday that earthquakes, a. They. They still. Obviously no scientists have ever said we can predict. They're getting better at it, but, like we can't predict the winds, the where's the hows, you know, they just have no idea. They've got a few buoys out there that'll tell you. The water's acting funny. We don't know what that means either. Is there deep quakes and stuff like that? Has there been a split and the tectonic plate moves and it slip. You don't know. So they warned Earth. A Western Earth. Keep your eyes open. We told you about it. Oregon, all the way down to San Diego. Mexico. You know what? I didn't really notice. I got it. They never really worn Mexico. They don't care about Mexico. That kind of stopped around San Diego. It's that Pacific Rim, that thing they teach in high school about like that, the ring of fire. That goes all the way around the Pacific Rim. And it's just everywhere. Just where there's land, that thing's ready to. Ready to crack and explode. Horrifying. So to all our listeners in Hawaii, sorry about last night. We had nothing to do with it. I hope you're okay. But I watched a little bit like, well, what's gonna happen? You see those videos of that thing in Indonesia in 2004 where people just stand on the beach and the water goes away? Like completely and utterly goes away. Like 80ft. Where'd the beach go? Like, it's huge now and then they look up and it's a movie wall of water. And one guy's like, run. And everybody else is like, from what? That's a pretty big wave. Pretty far away. It's like, run. The ones that knew was when the water super receded, like it just went away. And the smart one started running. I know what this is. This is. It's like moving a bowl of water. You tilt it one direction, it all kind of leaves one side and then it comes back. It's horrifying. And why I would never live on an island ever. It's never appealed to me. You can't get anywhere. It's beautiful. You can't go anywhere. You were there when the earthquake happened in Hawaii and they just said leave. And you go. Stood on the golf course.

[Toledo]

Yeah, get up on the golf course. And then of course, some idiot yells tsunami.

[Katie]

Yeah. Because they're scared.

[Toledo]

People just started running.

[Katie]

Where do you go?

[Toledo]

They were running to the green. It was an elevated green.

[Katie]

Nice elevated green. Like what, like a 15 foot up? Yeah. That's a tough chip right there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Katie]

I'll tell you. Where do you go? Like islands are a thing.

[Toledo]

People, you know, started hoarding toilet paper and stuff. Electricity was out in the resort and we went to the later a couple hours left the hotel. I had a rental car. And it was cool seeing the road.

[Katie]

Sure.

[Toledo]

Like in a movie. It's four feet higher than the other.

[Brett]

That crack.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Like a split.

[Katie]

Also seen that last night on the news. And they kept showing people in their cars, like, look at the traffic jams. Where are they going? Yeah, we're on Highland. How do you. Nobody even knows what's coming. Where do you go? Like, how do you hide from something you don't know?

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

This guy said there's been over a hundred five plus magnitude earthquakes in the same location. So it's not over. Be ready for another big one.

[Katie]

I can't. Yeah. When there's that many fives. I was in a 44 once and I didn't know it till it was over. What was going on? That was a scary. I think when you were in was like a 47 or 4 8.

[Toledo]

It was a 6.

[Katie]

Was that a 6 down there? That was that big? That's big. Yeah, that's a good one. And are weird. I've been a few like minors like low fours, high threes when I lived in California. Ever. And then you get used to it when you're in LA and stuff and your house just goes for like seven seconds like okay. And the ones that are scary are the ones you think a truck went by, you think a big truck goes by like what the hell's going on? And then you realize, oh, earthquake. And a lot of laying in bed. Yeah. You weren't doing anything and the whole world starts to move and you're like.

[Toledo]

What'S going on here?

[Katie]

It takes, it takes a few seconds and then you stand in a doorway like I suppose this is.

[Toledo]

Didn't even do. Didn't have time to do that. You know I was just laid in bed. Yeah. It seemed like it was about maybe two minutes but I didn't.

[Katie]

Two minutes.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but I, you know, at the same time didn't know, you know, didn't Domini to get into a door frame.

[Katie]

Or something like that.

[Toledo]

Because you've never been.

[Katie]

I guess when I was in was like 40 seconds and that was evidently just really my 2 minutes problem because I've been in a couple that are like six, seven seconds long.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Yeah. It was feel like an eternity. But then you're like. But by the time I realized what it was I had already.

[Toledo]

And then you have the after, the.

[Katie]

Little bubbles, the shocks, the after Mini weird. So yeah, but I watched and the news was all about it. Cameras real high. They got, they got them built in real high cameras to say if this starts coming at us we'll be live broadcasting the carnage. But yeah, I think so too if we've got all those aftershocks and I.

[Toledo]

Think another one Price coupe wasn't in the air and the black deep V T shirt Anderson Cooper covering it somewhere.

[Katie]

He's probably flying over there and he's going to. They'll have him on a high mountain or in a cherry picker or something. He's going to be way up there. He'll stick Anderson Cooper in the middle of anything. He flies everywhere. He bombs over Tel Aviv and I'm like oh, that's rough. And like eight hours later, I don't know how they did it. He's standing on top of a hotel in Jerusalem and I'm like, what in the world? Bombs flying in. Weren't you Just in. What supersonic tunnel do you know about? It's that weird. Drill a hole through the earth, you can get anywhere in 90 minutes. I think Anderson Cooper knows where that is.

[John Holmberg]

John. I bet Pratt's been in a 10.8 earthquake buddy.

[Katie]

I told it to stop. And it's a great idea, Mayor. I used to have earthquakes on the show all the time. I've been in the earthquake. One time we had an 8.7 just sex machine band played over at. It was over at o'. Grady's.

[Toledo]

He wasn't there. He's at his good buddy's funeral right now.

[Katie]

No, he's at Ozzy. He's talking. Yeah, he's one of the people speaking at the Ozzy funeral, I'm sure. Yeah, that's on a live stream if you're interested in watching them parade Ozzy around Birmingham.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're showing pictures all over social right now.

[Katie]

It's a royal funeral, like, they have. It really is a procession and it's. There are people everywhere. There's, you know, flowers and junk laying all over the ground, and it's pretty amazing. So that might cause an earthquake. Yeah. Press probably on his way out there to eulogize Ozzy and the place will go crazy too, because in his brain. In his brain, that's exactly what's happening. Yeah. There's Ozzy's funeral procession and the streets are jam packed. There's Sharon and the family and I mean, this is.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that.

[Katie]

Unbelievable.

[Toledo]

That would be overwhelming for them too.

[Katie]

Just.

[Toledo]

I mean, the outpour to see that.

[Katie]

Yeah. Oh, ridiculous. They have. They have a thing there. I saw that. That's. I knew that about this. I didn't realize where it was that they named a bridge there. Black Sabbath Bridge, because Ozzy is from there or live there. It is crazy. And all the stuff and the people just pouring stuff out at the car and the roads. It's amazing. Yeah. Azie's funeral, it. He. He tapped into something that's weird.

[Toledo]

It is wild when. When you again, you hear the Prince of Darkness.

[Katie]

The Prince of Darkness and the bat. He bit a bat's head off. He snorted ants off. He's like, man, we love that guy. Like everything he was to people that all the people that hated him died. I guess that's probably it.

[Toledo]

Majority of those walls were knocked down when the Osbournes came.

[Katie]

Well, I think that happened, but I think most of the people that hated Ozzy early on died off. They were all 60 and they're like, what is happening? It's never been different. There's always old people yelling at the world's falling apart.

[Toledo]

I don't think Tipper Gore ever came around on that.

[Katie]

Tipper Gore was never really bad about Ozzy. She just hated bad words. She. She was mad at blacks. Tipper Gore was a racist is all that was. And that's weird because she's a super Democrat. She hated blacks. Hated them. And proof, by listening to one album and then making everybody say they say dirty words like we don't like when they're. They seem very angry, they're going to start getting mad at us. Tipper just didn't like black people. That was. That's all that came back to if Kanye can say it about Bush and he's not 100% wrong, I can say it about Tipper. Tipper hated the blacks. John holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 kupd. It's john holmberg here, and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com if I told you I had an idea for a project and said to you, in order to finish the project, We've got about 10 steps to go through and seven or eight of them are time consuming and could ruin the entire thing. Doug Hopkins, he offers you cash for your home, as is right now, and that process is over. He doesn't change that price or you get $5,000 guarant. Your house is sold. Start the process online right now@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Holmberg's morning sickness. And she's dead too, right? I think Tipper's dead. They got divided. I think she's dead. Her and Mike Ditka died same day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, pretty sure. Tipper, she almost killed me with that one yesterday.

[Katie]

Either way, she. Every whole theory died off when the old people and the march of people against heavy metal died because they were all old when they were mad at it. So 10, 15 years later, they just went away and heavy metal lived on.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, Pur and Dick are still alive.

[Katie]

She's alive now. Once Gore got rid of her, I. I was done with her. I just got rid of her because she didn't give the good puss no more.

[John Holmberg]

Can't blame them.

[Toledo]

They're living in their solar house.

[Katie]

Not together, we're not. I got rid of that.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Katie]

I dumped her.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't he invent the Internet too?

[Katie]

Invented the Internet and global warming and then I fixed it. Yelp this one for no reason. Talking about the wnba. Hey, Johnny the Juno's Holmberg. Someone threw a green dildo on an NBA court. Finally, a tool with more penetration than most of the players. All right, we already covered all this, jackass.

[John Holmberg]

Still funny.

[Katie]

And then I see this one, too. And this is a sign of one of the seven seals that's been broken. Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson are banging each other. All right, but they're still doing it. Yeah, and all I'm thinking is that Liam Neeson has to just think to himself, man, 30 years ago, I didn't know I had a shot. He's 70 something now and he's banging Pamela Anderson. After she says, I'm not gonna try anymore. No more makeup, no more effort. That's it. And now Liam Neeson gets to hit it. I guarantee you, sometimes at home, she's gone the opposite of most wives. She doesn't try when she's out, but I bet at home she puts makeup and slut stuff on and performs for her man, you know, because when she's out and stuff, she still looks good. Look, she's 60 something years old and she's still without makeup. You're like that. She's okay, I get it. I liked you better when you tried. But she doesn't try when she's out. She might as well just have the sweatpants and the dirty Zeppelin T shirt on. And then when she in the bedroom, she comes out as barbed wire again. She's like, oh, that has to be it. She has to be in makeup and hot clothes for someone special. And Liam Neeson is now that guy. I guess that's good.

[Toledo]

She must have watched Rob Roy.

[Katie]

Yeah, well, she's into it. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Look, Blazes piece on that.

[Katie]

The dude is. He's. He's Liam Neeson, for God's sakes. Who would have ever guessed Academy Award winner Liam Neeson from Schindler's List would be boning a chick from Baywatch? That's almost as hard to believe as the Bill Cosby rape thing or OJ Killing people or Bruce Jenner turning into a lady. If I'd have told you back in the early 90s, you know, Liam Neeson is going to end up with CJ from Baywatch. That's gonna happen.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody thought CJ from Baywatch was gonna turn the way it did either.

[Katie]

Nobody thought she'd be an Academy Award winning mov or nominated. I just wanted to get inside of her at one point or another in my life. It took me 72 years to finally bed barbed wire. And he did it? That's a weird one. And now the rumblings of the what I'm now calling the WNBA of employment. It's back to school time. And you know what that means. Teachers start crying about having to buy supplies for their kids. Quit your jobs. My annual screen. Stop telling us how much you hate your job and quit your job. If you're a public school teacher and you're gonna go to the news and we gotta buy our own supplies and these kids can't bubble. You knew that going in. Stop crying about the cruddy job you took. It's your fault they got this big thing. Should teachers. Should parents pay for classroom supplies? Teacher Sparks, back to school debate. I had to buy crayons for all 28 of my kids. No, you didn't. You skip crayon day and you tell the kids, hey, look, I'm not buying your crayons. Your parents can do it. And if they can't afford it, then borrow. But I ain't doing it. And that's how it's your kids.

[Toledo]

164 crayon box. They share it. You're down to two colors here.

[Katie]

Any of the knobs learn to share? There's a good skill. Any of the knobs throw a burnt umber in their nose? That's their parents problem. Now you got 63 crayons. And look, it's going to cost you $9 a month to go get a 64 pack. And sure Hannah and Braden are going to fight over. I need the peach coloring in a white guy. I need peach. That's the color for white people. And then you got to wait or you skip crayon day. I have to buy supplies. No, you don't. I can't get my lessons done unless. Quit your job. They don't pay me. Quit your job. Stop it. Go teach at a private school. Do something good. I don't want to see this again. Guys start marching around again. We paid you more. Teachers few years ago, that red for red thing. We paid you more and you slipped from 47th to 49th. You started losing some more. You actually did worse. There's burnt umber. No, that's not Indian red. Is that still a thing? No.

[John Holmberg]

You can buy it on ebay right now for 17 bucks. Yeah. Nostalgia crayons. 15 bucks.

[Katie]

Get that?

[John Holmberg]

Indian red.

[Katie]

It discontinued it because it's. But the people that hung on to it, low in stock, pristine.

[Toledo]

Only one left.

[Katie]

Barely used indian red crayon. $16.

[Toledo]

That's gone.

[Katie]

Well. No teacher can afford that. Every time I go in, the class is too full. I only make. Shut up. Quit your job. I'm. But I want. This is my passion. No, it's not. Your passion is making more money or you'd shut up. Your passion is your bank account like everyone else. Shut your mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Lito's staying out of this conversation.

[Katie]

She's one of them. She told me that I should be taxed more jokingly when the red fret things were. They should tax people who make money more. I'm like, not much.

[Brett]

You can thank you.

[Katie]

And she did thank me after they got their money back and then plummeted Arizona schools down almost to the worst ones in the nation. That should have been contingent, that little raise. If you guys jump up much of money back. Yeah, I want my money back. You went from 47th to 49th and you're still pitching.

[Brett]

So her first day back was last Friday.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And so I've been just around this malaise for the last three days.

[Katie]

She's been miserable. She hates it.

[Brett]

She spends too much time there. She comes home and it's like, I had to work hard today.

[Katie]

And I'm like, oh, they call it work.

[Brett]

Nine weeks off.

[Katie]

That was pretty good.

[Brett]

Where you went to California five times.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's fun.

[Brett]

A few times. We had some good times. Now get back to work.

[John Holmberg]

But you know what she's gonna say? Well, all you guys do is talk about dildos flying out on the corridor.

[Brett]

She does say that.

[Katie]

And I'll tell you this.

[Brett]

I have said, isn't it glorious?

[Katie]

I have the perfect answer for people who say that. Let's switch jobs. Yeah. You couldn't do this and maintain ratings for more than a week. End of the week of teaching by the. I'll have some. I'll have both. Semblance of a plan. I'll have some stuff going on. I'll teach him some things. Not only that, I'll be good at it. I'll be good at your job.

[Brett]

You will open some parents eyes that she cannot.

[Katie]

That's right. I would sit in a classroom and it would take me about three weeks.

[Brett]

Level of honor, three weeks each.

[Katie]

We do this. You do my show for three weeks and tell me. All you do is fart jokes. Come in here and do this one day and you'd be blown away. It's like, holy crap. And I'll do your job. The first few days of teaching, I'm just gonna do some stand up for the kids. I'm gonna get them on my side.

[Brett]

Then I'm gonna shock Them bring a lot of candy.

[Katie]

Fourth day, it's gonna be like bipolar Holmberg. This guy's fun. And they start talking and they're gonna get dressed differently. No, the screaming and the discipline will show up and they'll be like, oh, my God. I don't know what to expect. Then they're on point. And now I'm the meanest teacher they know. And then I'm fun again. Then I'm mean. Keep them guessing. I tell them, you don't have crayons. What? Your dad doesn't have a job. I haven't seen my. My dad in years. Pathetic. Well, does your mom's boyfriend have a couple bucks? I'm not buying you crayons.

[Brett]

What do you notice about Johnny? He's got crayons.

[Katie]

Yeah, he's got a dad and he's got a dad and he's got crayons. You go home and tell your mom, saying, hey, what are we doing wrong? Because the teacher said that he taught me something today. Is that because you couldn't tolerate dad is why I can't have crayons?

[Brett]

How come Johnny's dad doesn't give extra crayons?

[Katie]

Take me a month. I'd be a pretty good teacher. I can tolerate that.

[Brett]

Well, the thing in this state now is they need so many teachers.

[Katie]

They take. Do it. They take me.

[Brett]

You could do it.

[Katie]

Don't ever tell me all you do is talk about dildos. Oh, contraire, mon frere. And that's French. That's at 1:00 o' clock until 1:30 in the classroom.

[Toledo]

You're doing French?

[Katie]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna teach him some French. Some real good French. Try my joke. Don't ever tell me all you do is. Let's swap out. I can wear a suit and sit in the desk and answer some phone calls. I'm the CEO. Look at me, Brett.

[Brett]

Like this.

[Katie]

Try this crap for four hours every day. It's not easy.

[Brett]

One of the things they started dealing with at the end of last year, and it's gonna happen this year a lot. There's a prevalence of deez nuts jokes going around the elementary school.

[Katie]

I love it. That's hilarious. I would help them.

[Brett]

Hey, Ms. Montgomery, do you like Wendy's? You like Wendy's? Nuts are on your face.

[Katie]

Oh, my God. That's happening. Yeah. Then you just. You discipline. Yeah, it's a little sick for those kids.

[Brett]

That's the parents that are teaching them.

[Katie]

That I remember hearing in elementary school. The joke when the song Come on Eileen was so popular and I heard the joke, and my. What's worse than a Bloody Mary? And then the name of the song was the answer, and my dad lost his mind. I told him that I stopped him from mowing the grass. Hey, dad. What? Wanna hear a joke? What? How old were you? 11, 10.

[Brett]

Oh, well, it had to be at that time, right?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Dexy's Midnight Run.

[Katie]

Dexy's midnight runner. Probably 82, 83. What's worse than a Bloody Mary? I don't know. What. And he's standing in the backyard, and I remember the green shorts with the white piping. Cowboy boots, because he always mowed in cowboy boots. He was afraid the blade was gonna fly off and chop his legs off. And a tank top. What? It's worse than mercy. He, like, immediately told on me. My mom and him had a talk. Like, where'd you hear that? Dana. I blame my sister. Like, she told it wasn't her. It was terrible. So, yeah. You get in trouble for that?

[Toledo]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Katie]

But here's what I want to hear. Any complaining from teachers, you took the job. I don't want to hear from Lisa at all.

[Brett]

Well, tomorrow's day one, so, yeah, she's got to get her complaining out.

[Katie]

No, no. No complaining, Joy. This is your passion. You get to go back to your passion. You got to love it. You can't sit and cry and whine to the news about how you don't get paid enough. I got to buy supplies. Like, this is not a. This is not a surprise to any of them. And yet every year in August, we've got to hear them go buying supplies, and we don't have enough money. You don't save. Well, then. Because you know how much you make, and you know you have to buy supplies. Why do I have to hear about this every year?

[Brett]

Alex gave me to the kitchen last night, and she's like, I worked really hard all day. It's been really rough. And Alex looked at me, and I looked at him. I'm like, shh.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Year 15 of this, dude. This is the 16th of August. We've gotten this eight.

[Katie]

August is always a thing. And again, no, you don't get paid enough. I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm on your side. I'm on the teacher's side. Quit. Go get jobs at bank of America or Merrill lynch or something. Quit your jobs and stop it. And put the public schools in the lurch. If you guys all quit, what about the children? Not your problem. You know, when Covid happened, you were all too quick to go. Not my problem. You do it. You had a chance to give them back to the parents, and the parents lost their minds when you guys weren't available. I'm on your side. Quit your jobs if it's too much for you. Now for the few weirdos that are still involved that don't like buying crayons and making 27 grand a year, well, then that's just fine. But I don't want to hear you crying anymore. We gave you your raise. You're still mad about buying supplies. You sound like a bunch.

[Brett]

I knew we were going to get a few of these. John, Flat rate mechanic here. Nobody advocates for us having to buy our own tools and do our own jobs. Or advocates for any tradesman, for that matter.

[Katie]

Have you ever tried to buy snap on tools? The good ones.

[Brett]

Oh, my God.

[Katie]

Jesus Christ. It's a year's salary or net. It's in ridiculous.

[Brett]

Taking out a car loan.

[Katie]

It's insane.

[Brett]

Our buddy Dave had one of those gigantic snap on.

[Katie]

Yeah, the toolbox.

[Brett]

The rolling toolbox. You know how much that thing costs?

[Katie]

It's insane. And then they deliver it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you can spend ten grand on a box and more.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Katie]

Nobody ever screams out. These guys, you know, I get no money and I've gotta pay my own way. We all do. So, teachers, enough of you. First thing, should we have to even. Who else is gonna do it? In the 15 years that Lisa's been complaining about this, has anyone stepped up and said, here's some money. Shut up about the supplies. You're screaming into the void. Nobody's ever gonna do it. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. It's like when Megan tried to get on that plane and asked to could somebody move? I don't fly well and I need to sit with my husband. And everybody's. Everybody's laptops and everything went in front of their face like only middle seats were left. And then what'd she say? Nobody go f yourselves. We almost got on a no fly list and it was terrifying. It's the same thing when teachers complain. Everybody puts the newspaper in front of their face like it's 1953. I didn't hear that. Nobody's gonna help you and you aren't getting paid enough, period. End of story. But that's what you're getting paid. And you know it's. So set aside a couple of bucks for pencils and crayons and shut up. That's My PSA to the teachers. Shut the up period. Go to like, Brady. Brady's got a school that just constantly just dings him.

[Brett]

Oh, my God.

[Katie]

Yeah. $7,000. It's $10,000 for that. Here's what you got. And you know what? The teachers never, ever say, we have to buy those supplies for those kids. They just go to you and go, your kid needs a laptop. Are you guys going to give him one? No. You buy them a laptop. Hey.

[Brett]

And they do it. District bought the laptops for every student.

[Katie]

Good.

[Brett]

From second grade through high school.

[Katie]

And they didn't give the teachers any money.

[Brett]

No.

[Katie]

Brady school demands. He buys their kids stuff. Like, they'll call you and go, you know what? Your kids, your kids clothes suck. Let's get some new clothes for that kid. What do you say? By the way, it's a principal of Gilbert Christian. It was probably yourself.

[Toledo]

It was probably three years ago. I was shocked by like, we had to buy a calculator. Oh, okay, let's.

[Katie]

Oh, $500 calculator.

[Toledo]

200 bucks. I thought that's what I think.

[Katie]

Turn it.

[Toledo]

Side phone. Nope. You gotta have to have the graphic one.

[Brett]

You gotta have the graphing one instrument, the Apple, the iPhone one doesn't graph.

[Katie]

You can't download that.

[Brett]

You can't probably.

[Katie]

There's no apple like app.

[Brett]

I'm sure there is, but every school will tell you. Like Alex in high school, Mountain View, you had to buy the like. And I was like, 250 bucks for the graphing calculator.

[Toledo]

I'm like, Texas Instruments still making calculators.

[Katie]

Ti still keeping it together. Well, they're in cahoots then with private schools.

[Toledo]

And the day she came home, I lost my calculator. You watched.

[Katie]

She did.

[Toledo]

No, luckily it was lost, but someone picked it up and borrowed it and didn't tell.

[Katie]

Borrowed it. That's stole it.

[John Holmberg]

You can get an app for it now.

[Toledo]

Yeah, he held.

[Katie]

It's a graphing calculator right there. Brett found that app in two seconds. Lazy sons of.

[Toledo]

It might not be the right setup. Well, either way, we had to.

[Brett]

The bigger thing is that the schools don't want you using your phone. That's probably true, so.

[Katie]

Well, then stop making me buy calculator.

[Brett]

Calculator can't text, so I was just.

[Toledo]

Shocked at how much calculator need to do.

[Katie]

That's pricey. All right, bottom line, be a better teacher and walk through. Make sure they're not texting Brady school every five minutes. He's telling.

[Toledo]

And here's Our wish list.

[Katie]

We got to do this. Got to set up an ice cream social. It's $53,000. Social. That's good ice cream.

[Brett]

Like the one time they ask you for something was a day later. Oh, by the way, tuition's due.

[Katie]

Yeah, they knock you stiff on everything. Probably gonna raise that next year. Nothing. Liking the looks of this.

[Toledo]

Last year. It's the last year. Then we get into the real fees.

[Katie]

Nah, college. If she's smart enough, if this school did their job, she gets into a college for dirt. How we looking?

[Brett]

Is she smart enough?

[Toledo]

Yeah, she's getting some good.

[Katie]

She's gonna get a scholarship because Alex wasn't.

[Toledo]

She chooses whatever school, the three that she's looking at, she does get some scholarships. To what amount? We'll find out.

[Katie]

Because it's. Because the Christian ties.

[Toledo]

There's that.

[Katie]

So it's some sort of a weird stuff too.

[Brett]

Expensive school even.

[Toledo]

No, not cheaper.

[Katie]

Because like, Grand Canyon will suck up all these Christian kids.

[Brett]

Expensive. Grand Canyon's more expensive than.

[Katie]

No, no, no. They'll take the Grand Canyon kids. The Christian thing. And it's kind of. It's not really racism, but it's like they'll look past. They'll look past those super A students who go to like, Dobson for like a C student who's already Christian. I don't have to deal with their nonsense. So they'll bring in a Christian kid who's not as smart as a. Like, you know, C stands for Christian. One of these street urchins.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Katie]

That went to a public school. But look what the public schools did where they're begging for more money. And I look at Toledo's kid and I'm like, product of. Product of public school.

[Brett]

He'll find his passion, John.

[Katie]

Someday I hope it's teaching. Then you get two of them.

[Brett]

How appropriate would that be?

[Toledo]

They need teachers.

[Katie]

Brady School right now is thinking, when school starts in a couple weeks, we haven't hit Brady and call him up and get him to pay for some stuff and then threaten him if he doesn't.

[Toledo]

They've already put out stuff.

[Katie]

Yeah, I'm sure there's going to be more. You're not done yet.

[Brett]

Alex worked the after school program when he was a senior. He got paid for it. And I'm like, dude, you should do that. Be a PE teacher. You have like one class a day.

[Katie]

PE teacher.

[Brett]

Yeah, they still have those, but you have to.

[Katie]

You have to actually be qualified for it. You can't just be a PE Teacher. I think there's Like a. I don't think so.

[Brett]

I think you just roll out some balls.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

War ball. Kickball.

[Katie]

I love to play any of those.

[John Holmberg]

The parachute and everything else.

[Katie]

Do parachute every day.

[Toledo]

It's.

[Brett]

It hasn't changed in 40 years.

[Katie]

Either way.

[Brett]

Calisthenics, teachers.

[Katie]

I'm telling you right now, the whole jitterbug. Bring back the zip it. And then go over to Brady School and say, I'd like to work here. I'm sure they'd hire you. Just play pretend you're Christian, love of God's lambs. And they'll be like, tired. We love it. Get paid 75,000 more a year teaching a Brady School.

[Toledo]

Today we're gonna play smear the straight.

[Katie]

Because we have no queers in a Christian school. That's gross. You've all learned something today. Queer is gross. The eyes of your Lord. And if you believe it, Grand Canyon will take it real quick. That's what Christian schools do. And they're smart. Kids come out of Grand Canyon smart. Guess they take them and they say, you're already in the system. It's a smart thing to do. I don't know. They go to Brophy. It's kicking down doors into colleges. It's like having a resume. Yeah, Smart. I'm just tired of it. Teachers are so loud about this every year. And here we go. I didn't even realize it was back to school. Of course, until I flip on the news or I'm going through and scrolling through some stuff. My teachers are mad again. I'm like, oh, it must be August. And I'm telling you, I'm on your team. You guys yell at me every. I'll get a couple of people. How many emails have I read of teachers? Like, I finally listened and I quit my job. I've never been happier. Dude got a job at Home Depot. Another dude got a job at a construction site managing paperwork and drafting things because that's what he was qualified to do after all those years of. Of. You know, I don't know what he taught. Architecture or something. Smart things. Geometry. I'm not sure what he did. He's like, I'm doing work for construction. Couldn't be happier. Yeah, you're getting paid a fair wage. You don't have to worry about buying your co workers things. Brady figured out a long time ago. You start paying for your kid in high school, you don't have to pay for college. It's genius.

[Toledo]

You hope.

[Katie]

Nah, just as long as they're not idiots. And that's still Your fault if she is. I mean, if she rolls out of there after all this. Yeah, no, Toledo's proof. Proof? He's the idiot. Like, he just pushed his kid. Oh, boy. You want to sew pants for a living? Okay. And you. You were too.

[Brett]

And you have to encourage it.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's great, dude. You don't have to.

[Brett]

Awesome.

[Katie]

Look. What? Look where that encouragement. Gotcha. You stamp that and you stamp his dreams down.

[Brett]

Yeah, I should have done that.

[Katie]

Like, if you spend all that money and Kirby rolls out D's and then doesn't get into a college, that's your fault.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Yeah. But you got to tell them.

[Toledo]

And that's what.

[Katie]

You know.

[Toledo]

It's always been two. Two Cs.

[Katie]

Yeah, we're.

[Toledo]

We're moving out.

[Katie]

Pick it up, sister. Yeah, keep her B's and A's. And the reason why.

[Brett]

The one C. It's the second one that.

[Toledo]

The second one, and it finishes a.

[Katie]

C. But you close the door on that and the next thing you know, there's Grand Canyon and, I don't know, other Christian schools. There's probably a couple others they'll start calling you.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah. Every.

[Brett]

Every school in Mesa, I think, is another one.

[Toledo]

She gets Colorado, Iowa.

[Katie]

Yeah, it's good all over. They like it.

[John Holmberg]

Hell, my dad would have been thrilled with these.

[Katie]

Same. Really? Okay, good.

[John Holmberg]

You're passing.

[Brett]

Especially my senior year.

[Katie]

Well, it was great. Cs were great. Oh, yeah. That was an A. I didn't save them any money on college.

[John Holmberg]

A. I'd have been accused of cheating.

[Katie]

I'll tell you this. They didn't.

[John Holmberg]

That's not.

[Katie]

You didn't spend a penny on me all through school. As far as paying for my school, you're making an investment in hopes that their college is cheaper because you paid for their high school. And it's going to work, Brady. This is smart. You won't be driving back and forth to Tucson or Oracle to try to figure out how to get those cinder blocks out from under your kid's table to move her back home. That's exactly what Toledo had.

[Brett]

Cinder blocks and boards.

[Katie]

Multi. Multi trips to Tucson to go, you know, get him a new 2x4 to balance out his kitchen table.

[Brett]

One more left. Cause all his crap's in storage down there.

[Katie]

Why?

[Brett]

Because he was gonna go back, John.

[Katie]

For what?

[John Holmberg]

You knew he wasn't. You should just packed it up.

[Brett]

No, no, I. I told him. That's fine. I said, but you're paying for it.

[Katie]

And so you're paying for it when.

[Brett]

He Realized that, and he didn't have a job in three weeks. I told him, I'm like, where you going? Where are you going?

[Katie]

So you're still paying for a storage facility?

[Brett]

He's paying Richard. He's been paying Richard trust. With what? You're gonna get a letter, whatever doordash money. I told him I like. You lose your stuff, you lose your stuff. That's it.

[Katie]

If you're on storage stuff you want.

[Brett]

To keep on storage wars, then that's it.

[Katie]

Yeah. Did he keep.

[Brett]

Good luck to that guy, by the way, for winning that unit.

[Katie]

It's a bunch of cinder blocks and a piece of plywood. Must be a table.

[Brett]

Good ikea stuff.

[Katie]

College kids table and a Billy.

[Brett]

You don't want the mattress?

[Katie]

No, you don't want the mattress. That, my friend, is A barn. Just squirts everywhere. Talk about a tsunami warning. And turn that mattress over once. Wow. This sounds like a waterbed. It's not. Oh, my God.

[Toledo]

There's a light on the bedroom door. At least you know when it's on. Like, you're on. On the air here. You can tell the light likes.

[Katie]

Yeah, when it's.

[Toledo]

When there's.

[Katie]

When he's got. Do not open the door on the bed. Yuck. Yeah. Anyway, back to what I was originally talking about before we got off on Toledo's, you know, kid. What were we talking about? His slow child. You'll get there.

[Toledo]

Alex Kirby got to paint her parking spot.

[Brett]

Excuse me.

[Toledo]

That's a. That's a money maker form.

[Katie]

You have to buy a singular spot.

[Toledo]

If you want to. If you. Basically, your senior year, you get to pick your parking spot. And if you want to pay it, you'll want to paint it. You pay a fee, and they paint.

[Brett]

It's brilliant.

[Katie]

Quiet down. Tell me what. I don't care about Alex anymore. This is ridiculous. How much is that?

[Toledo]

I think 100 bucks for the spot.

[Katie]

$100 paid for it for the year.

[Brett]

For the year.

[Toledo]

For the year.

[Brett]

Okay.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Katie]

That's not bad.

[Toledo]

Then you buy the paint.

[Katie]

Well, yeah, if you want to.

[Toledo]

All.

[John Holmberg]

What a grift.

[Katie]

Do you have to include God or something in it? Like you have to. Is it approved?

[Toledo]

No. Here's.

[Katie]

Can I paint the devil in this?

[John Holmberg]

You can put slayer right there.

[Toledo]

Kirby went with Pete the cat. That's not finished, but there's a star. There's a book about this cat that can play guitar and.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Toledo]

It was a. One of her favorite childhood books growing up. All right, and the next one over.

[Katie]

He'S doing the Painting. That's not bad.

[Toledo]

She did nice. Yeah.

[Katie]

And then so she's got her car, and then so she goes down and she's allowed to paint whatever she wants in there.

[Brett]

So they're teaching vandalism at that school?

[Katie]

Yeah. Can I also.

[Toledo]

They can tag. Yeah.

[Katie]

Can I also, like, in the middle of the year, Change it. I own that space.

[Toledo]

No, they. You do it at the beginning of the year, and then that's your space.

[Katie]

But I can't take a weekend later and repaint something new.

[Toledo]

I don't know.

[Katie]

Like, if I went in there right now and did the CEO and the Coldplay concert in the middle of the screen. I just read it like current events. I was really good at art. I think you could maybe better. It's your spot.

[Toledo]

They have to. Well, so they submit. They submit what? They want to paint in the spot first and get approved.

[John Holmberg]

Green dildo, right?

[Katie]

Hey, that's not a bad idea. Oh, you have to. Yeah, because they have to approve it.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Katie]

So you can't.

[Toledo]

She got approved for Pete the Cat, and then the other one was a Kanye album cover.

[Brett]

What?

[Katie]

Can't do that.

[Toledo]

Oh, that got approved.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah. Gilbert. Of course it was.

[John Holmberg]

And Gilbert.

[Katie]

Yeah, He's a Nazi. Can't go painting Nazis in the middle of a parking lot.

[Toledo]

I persuaded Pete the Cat.

[Katie]

You can go one way or the other. You can go that Nazi or the Cat.

[Toledo]

But you look at it like, I would have never known that to Kanye West. I don't know what's on the. You know it's an animated spaceship, right?

[Katie]

Big Kanye fan. You ever talk with her about that?

[Toledo]

She laughs at that. The fact that he's gone into a meltdown, sure. But she liked the music before.

[Katie]

You know who the blame for all that is, Daddy? The Jews. Where are you learning this? Curbs school. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Let's go get high.

[Toledo]

Daddy the Chronic.

[Katie]

Yeah, she should have. Well, they're not gonna allow you to put a spliff in the parking lot. You're not painting a joint.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie]

No.

[Toledo]

None of that stuff gets approved.

[Katie]

Kanye hates the Jews. Can't do that. He's off limits. That's like Peyton OJ's jersey in there.

[Toledo]

I think it probably slipped by because they had no idea. That looks like a cartoon.

[Katie]

Sure. But then they're dumb. What is. They didn't ask. What the hell is this?

[Toledo]

What is it?

[Katie]

It's Kanye West's second alien when he was ingenious we're not putting any Kanye Nazi stuff down there, you nut bags. I don't know what the cat is, though, but good. See, that's a good thing. New to throw in a few bucks for paint.

[Toledo]

150.

[Katie]

She goes out there and now you.

[John Holmberg]

Know the exact 150 for paint.

[Toledo]

Paint brush, roller supplies. Yeah, maybe even a little more.

[Katie]

Base coat.

[Toledo]

Yeah, he had the base coat. Ran a little low on that.

[John Holmberg]

I just went to Home Depot, hired some guys to do it. Screw that, Kirby.

[Toledo]

Who's it? Who's your. She did have a couple of friends help her.

[Katie]

I'm easier.

[Brett]

See Juan and Haiti.

[Katie]

These are two new.

[John Holmberg]

Better than some white girl from Gilbert. Come on.

[Katie]

Lord bless you, Hood.

[John Holmberg]

It's written in old English.

[Toledo]

That is a brilliant idea.

[Katie]

Yes. Kirby's name in old English And a painting of Tupac or something.

[Toledo]

What's with the letter cream? Cash rules everything around me.

[Katie]

We didn't know what. But their cat was. So we painted Peso Pluma. He's the Mexican murder artist. Yes. Yeah, I don't understand that at all, but there it is. Congratulations. Toledo's kid's still at home. Brady's daughter. No teachers complain. Never here ever have I seen Gilbert Christian on TV crying about their pay. Never once. Never once. So teachers, go get a job at one of these schools. They're not allowed, right?

[Toledo]

They disappear.

[Katie]

Well, because they show up and they're like, we'd like to teach here. And like, we're all full up. It's like a great place to work. We have to go work at the public schools. Well, you're not good enough. You're not good enough to get into the good schools.

[Toledo]

Bend the knee.

[Katie]

Yeah, I tried. Yeah, exactly. I tried to work at Great Hearts. They didn't hire me. Then you're not good enough. You're in the AAA of teaching. Get into the pros of. Go be a good teacher somewhere. Now. The super Nintendo of schools. I'm sure Shelly Boggs is going to text me any second now and start screaming at me. But I don't. You know, I'm not wrong. Quit your jobs. You get paid plenty. You get paid plenty. You don't have to buy supplies for those kids. I don't want to hear you telling yet. A Gibson's beautiful hair. We had to buy supplies. No, we didn't have to do anything. If you're a good teacher, you don't need supplies. How about that?

[Brett]

I remember going back to school shopping, but it was always for like a glue stick, some pencils. And that was about it.

[Katie]

You bought this stuff. Yeah. Your parents bought it.

[Toledo]

You'd buy your notebook.

[Brett]

That's what I mean.

[Katie]

And the poor kids didn't get anything. The problem was the poor kids would come to school with nothing and they wouldn't get to play. And then they remained poor. And that's the way it should be.

[Brett]

There was a. There was a box of pencils that Mrs. Snow kept on her desk for the poor kids.

[Katie]

You teach ambition. Yeah. You don't coddle the ones who don't have it. Say sorry. You got to figure out a way to, you know. You got to borrow from Brady. And you know, DJ Lisicki would borrow from me. He was broke. There were smelly. The smelly kid. Seth, I think his name was. He'd come over. He's dead. Poor Roosevelt Elementary School. Just dirty. Every day is like Pig Pen. And he sat next to me and would borrow my stuff. I would loan it to him because I wasn't gonna say no. I didn't care.

[Brett]

Or you were taught to.

[Katie]

But you teach ambition.

[Toledo]

I handed so many generators out in elementary.

[Katie]

That's right. Ready to give stuff to people. You were. You were a kid. You didn't have that problem at your school where the dirty poor kid would roll into upper. They killed and eaten him for lunch.

[Brett]

Kirby could have made that hundred bucks back by taking the generator with her and helping people use it.

[Toledo]

Great idea.

[Katie]

Nice.

[Toledo]

Missed another.

[Katie]

Bottom line was, back in the days a teacher didn't buy you anything. You borrowed. You found your way around when you were broke and you didn't have it. Can I borrow a pencil? Was like something I said every day. Oh, I forgot my pen. You have a pen. And somebody would either say yes or no. Give it back to me. That was the big phrase. Give it back when we're done. All right. You're right. No.

[Brett]

No.

[Katie]

I won't steal your stuff.

[Toledo]

And you learned.

[Katie]

And you learned.

[Toledo]

Can you get it back?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Not gonna borrow that.

[Katie]

Dude's off the list. Yeah. You still owe me a pen. Teacher. Stop buying stuff. Teach ambition. The poor kids stay poor if they sit in the corner with their arms folded. That's their life. That's. They've chosen that I hate the teacher argument so much. I hope 10 of you quit today. And I hope you throw my name around when you do it. When you see those ugly little kids walk into your classroom today, first day of school, and you look around, you go, this isn't for me anymore. Don't melt down. Just leave and start the whole thing with how many of you are poor? And I'm like, what? I'm not buying any of you this year. Figure it out. You better have good memorization skills because I ain't buying you. Your parents don't do it. Why should I? I'm poor too. I'm a teacher, idiots. And then spend the next week teaching them what jobs not to get in the future and start off with yours. Do not pursue public education at all. Let me just drill this into your heads, kids.

[Brett]

Chris figured it out year one up at nau.

[Katie]

He was trying to teach.

[Brett]

Well, he was going to be a music teacher because he was. He liked his music teacher a lot.

[Katie]

Thought it was poor for.

[Brett]

So he went up there and we started telling him, like, dude, you don't like kids like you, you, you don't like them. What are you gonna do? Go to an elementary school?

[Katie]

You're going to hate it and you're gonna be poor.

[Brett]

And he. And he finally was like, you're right. Said, go for the music degree, but figure out what you want to do.

[Katie]

Write a song or something, learn to rap, do something. But don't teach kids. If you don't like kids, that's a bad idea to start with.

[Brett]

Exactly. So he changed his major.

[Katie]

Is he living at home again?

[Brett]

No, no, he's on his own.

[Katie]

Still working at the Sip and Go? Yep.

[Brett]

Stop and Rob.

[Katie]

Smoking weed every day. Oh, yeah, I love that kid. Yeah, yeah, he's got it figured out. Yeah.

[Brett]

Bought a ten thousand dollar instrument with his own money. Hear that, Alex?

[Katie]

How is it that two people that didn't smoke weed at all just raised two Wheaties? Beyond good God, I don't know. Those kids can't smoke everything.

[Brett]

Chris was pure until like his senior year. I think he did it at first time and then when he hit nau, just loved it.

[Katie]

It was off the.

[Toledo]

It's just a natural feeding program.

[Katie]

I guess he loves it. But the other one too.

[Toledo]

Oh yeah, that's college too.

[Brett]

I think they've both settled a little bit on that. But when Alex first moved back, I'm like, dude, you cannot bring that into the house. I don't do it in the house. So then you gotta air out outside.

[Katie]

You stink, man. Yeah, this is awesome. I have to buy paint supplies. So some stupid cat gets painted in a parking lot. Or weed supplies.

[Brett]

I think I told you guys. I think it was Christmas last year. Chris comes down and we're doing like a family dinner and we get back from Lisa's sister's house. And boys are getting along and like, oh, this is great. And we get in the house, and Lisa and I turn around, both boys are gone. Like, where'd they go? Check their location. There at the park in the neighborhood.

[Katie]

Crushing the dope.

[Brett]

Coming back. And I'm like, having.

[Toledo]

Like, really?

[Brett]

You couldn't. Like, you. You were just jonesing the whole time.

[Katie]

At family dinner, crushing the dope.

[Brett]

Like, what?

[Katie]

Don't. What? Came back all pie eyed, looking at you like, I'm hungry, old man. Only way I can tolerate those two to get back in that house, I gotta be so high to look at Toledo Gunny Doritos. I think I feel, man, that's my dad. I'm with you, bro. Let's just go get caked and forget that we exist.

[Toledo]

How many times you catch him in the wood shop making a little dugout?

[Brett]

Oh, my God. I'm sure he was whittling something.

[Katie]

Oh, my God.

[Brett]

You know, I usually agree with John, however. Here we go.

[Katie]

Here we go.

[Brett]

No kid chose to be a poor. That piece of s. Parents is.

[Katie]

Well, look, they're still poor. Doesn't mean you chose it or not. You're still poor. So you gotta learn ambition, stay on your toes. Nobody's gonna hand you everything. That's the worst thing that can happen to a poor is everybody starts giving them stuff. You get a poor in a classroom and says everybody else has pens. You make him feel like he's gotta figure out how to get pens. He's either gonna start stealing them like his dad did and that's why he's in jail, or he's gonna ask nicely like his mom's trying to teach him. Either way, quit handing him free stuff. Stuff. You don't have to buy anything. There, I've said it. That's my annual speech to the teachers. Quit your jobs.

[John Holmberg]

Good God. There's nothing worse than poor person needs to borrow everything.

[Katie]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Down with the poor.

[Katie]

That's an email. Brett just didn't. That's not me. No, no, that's. That wasn't from Brett's heart. I mean, I don't think he's disagreeing with us. I'm not arguing Brett's heart. Yeah. Other words that a poor person got a borrow. My teachers used to charge 10 cents a pencil if you needed one.

[John Holmberg]

I had one that did that, too.

[Toledo]

Yeah, you could learn. You'd learn that way.

[Katie]

We also got a list of supplies we had to bring on day one of school. That's what we had.

[Brett]

Yeah, we had that.

[Katie]

Bring this in to Figure it out. If your parents didn't give you lunch money or food you didn't eat, that was true too. You got your lunch that was pretty much out. They had little programs you had to kick in for those if you didn't have the tickets or whatever, but then you borrowed.

[Toledo]

It's like one or two times. They'll cover you.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

At this school, like if you're missing. Well, then there's programs.

[Brett]

School. They have. They have like. I mean, it's basically the poor kids lunch.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It's a. It's like an uncrustable and a water so that you're getting something and you. They're in a brown bag. So you see the kids with the. With the one. It's a label, you know.

[Katie]

Yeah. Walking around with a stick or a tattoo.

[Brett]

But they got it. They got to feed them something.

[Katie]

They don't have to. They've chosen that. Hungry kids are hungry kids. That's what you get. Nothing you do about it.

[John Holmberg]

Go the Sheriff Joe route.

[Katie]

The green baloney and the ostrich food and the couple of pieces of old bread. The food isn't satisfactory. We'll get a better job then. How's that my fault? Bottle of water.

[John Holmberg]

There's a hose right over there. You hit that up.

[Katie]

That's exactly right, Brett. Kids drink it out of spigots more often. Makes it tough. What do you got on the big board of musical treats? Hopefully it's schools in for summer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no kidding. Wake Up. Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Well, if you need to buy the kids a bike to pedal their asses to school, well, no better place than Action Ride Shop. Of course. What you don't want to buy.

[Toledo]

I wish more would pedal to school.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

With the drive lines and.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's terrible.

[Toledo]

That's why it's kind of cool in the neighborhood there that in our hood, you just see the flock of bikes just heading out.

[Katie]

They ride bikes.

[Toledo]

That's good to see.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Those are the missionaries, actually. In your neighborhood.

[Katie]

Yeah, it's combo. They're all 21 years old and in short sleeves and helmets.

[John Holmberg]

But actually, Ride Shop's gonna take care of those bike needs for you at two locations. The brand new one right there on Power Road. McDowell. And of course, the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern on the list. You knew this was coming. Surfing USA for the Beach Boys. For Hawaii. Yeah. Drowning Pool. Step up where the river flows From. Collective Soul. And then of course, for the green dildos, Detachable penis is on the list. Dickeye from Jerry Cantrell, my dick from Mickey Avalon and GNR filter. Pantera dragged the waters. And then Ozzy, Miracle man and Hellraiser for the big funeral.

[Katie]

Yeah, let's do a little miracle Man. One more thing for Ozzy and then we'll say goodbye to him. We've done plenty of tributes to Ozzy and he deserves every one of them. But today's the day they. They finish off Ozzy. I don't know if he's going in a mausoleum or if he's in the ground. I don't know what the final resting place is for Mr. Osborne, but.

[Toledo]

And what I didn't see anything about, like who's eulogizing.

[Katie]

No, no, that'll be. Well, it's livestream. Check it all out. I'm sure some desperate for clicks radio station has that going on and you can find it everywhere.

[John Holmberg]

It's across the way.

[Katie]

Is it? Are they? I wouldn't be sure. It would not shock me. The tragedy. Porn stations that don't have enough. Ninth caller gets the list, gets a freebie. Yeah. They don't have enough skill or talent on the air to get ratings, so they have to try to find other ways. It's depressing.

[Toledo]

Tell us about the most amazing funeral you went to.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Katie]

No kidding. They would do it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Katie]

You know, I should really talk more about dead celebrities.

[John Holmberg]

There's one for you before you.

[Katie]

Oh boy. Which. Which DJ emailed this one in, says, hey, Toledo, how much with how much you make fun of your son on the air? Do you think he wishes you left him like your dad left you? I think that kid wishes that no matter what the Toledo tradition died with rich and unfortunately.

[Brett]

I can answer that.

[Katie]

There were times, yes, 100% that you wanted to leave. I'm sure there's plenty of times he wished. Yeah.

[Brett]

On both sides.

[Katie]

Yes, exactly.

[Brett]

We've come to a place where things are better. There's a date.

[Katie]

Stop Toledo. I'm playing a song. Post it, my friend. Ozzy is his final day on the planet. Now he's gonna be in the planet. And this is the last one for Ozzy's funeral. It's Miracle man. Go back to 1988. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock rad.

[John Holmberg]

It's Brett and John for action Ride shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa.

[Katie]

The new location is your east valley full line bike shop with brands like Pivot, Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain. Giant Norco. And of course Action Ride Shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus being so close to the Hawes trailhead they have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and E bikes.

[John Holmberg]

Action Ride shop now with two locations, the brand new Shop of Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out at actionrideshop.

[Katie]

Com.