07-30-25 - WNBA Player Lost Her Hair During A Game And Kicked Out A Fan For Laughing And In Another Game A Dildo Was Thrown Onto The Court Halting Play

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode Summary: July 30, 2025

In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Big Dick Toledo delve into some of the most bizarre and entertaining incidents that unfolded during recent WNBA games. The discussion is marked by humor, sharp commentary, and a candid take on the events that shook the basketball courts.

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1. The Green Dildo Incident at the WNBA Game

The episode kicks off with a detailed recounting of an unusual event that took place during a WNBA game between the Valkyries and the Atlanta Dream. A massive neon green dildo was thrown onto the court, halting the game and sparking a flurry of reactions from both players and fans.

• Bret Vesely enthusiastically describes the incident:

  "At the WNBA game, they chucked a huge green dildo... It had some speed. It had a nice bounce. Awesome." (02:18)

• Big Dick Toledo adds context about the object's origin:

  "We're not exactly sure where it came from... Any of that type of activity." (01:39)

The hosts discuss the athleticism required to have thrown such an object from approximately 15 rows away, highlighting the impressive throwing arm of the individual responsible.

"Look at the arm on whoever threw this. This thing comes out of... It's the most athletic thing I've seen in a WNBA game." — Bret Vesely (02:17)

Despite the humorous take, Bret acknowledges the potential danger:

"The dangerous thing is if one of these women would have been killed by a dick, it would have injured someone." (05:04)

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2. The Wig-Pulling Incident

Following the dildo incident, the conversation shifts to another peculiar event where a player's wig was forcibly removed during the game, leading to further chaos on the court.

• Bret narrates the event with a mix of amusement and critique:

  "She rips her weave off... throws it on the ground like roadkill." (09:35)

The hosts express their discomfort with the treatment of the player, contrasting it with how such incidents are typically handled in men's sports. They argue that while similar mishaps in male sports often result in ribbing, the response in the WNBA is disproportionately severe.

"Nobody got hurt. We move on. But God damn it, that's funny." — Bret Vesely (07:12)

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3. Comparing Reactions Across Sports

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to comparing the reactions to similar incidents in different sports leagues. The hosts criticize the WNBA's handling of these events, suggesting that the league is overly sensitive and struggles with criticism.

• Bret shares his frustration:

  "The league can't survive. They're too thin-skinned and need everybody to be like Dave Portnoy." (33:09)

• John Holmberg echoes this sentiment, highlighting the disparity between male and female sports in handling such disruptions:

  "If a man's hair falls off at a Suns game, you will never hear the end of it." (38:50)

The discussion extends to how incidents like these could tarnish the league's image, with Bret envisioning a future where absurd objects like dildos and wigs become commonplace disruptors in games.

"Wigs, dildos, everything. They come out all over the court." — Bret Vesely (13:19)

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4. Security Measures and Fan Behavior

The hosts debate the adequacy of security measures at WNBA games, questioning why objects like dildos and wigs are allowed to disrupt play without swift removal.

• Bret critiques the ineffective response:

  "Why can't the security guy just sweep it out? Just pick it up?" (24:52)

• Big Dick Toledo offers possible explanations for the security's inaction:

  "Maybe they're worried it's a bomb." (22:43)

This segment underscores the hosts' belief that better security protocols are needed to maintain the integrity of the game and ensure player safety.

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5. The Hosts' Predictions and Future Incidents

Looking ahead, the hosts humorously speculate on future disruptions, suggesting that more unconventional objects will be thrown onto courts to wreak havoc.

• Bret forecasts:

  "Maybe kindergarten scissors. How about a nerf dildo?" (20:07)

He further imagines scenarios where a combination of incidents, such as falling weaves and flying objects, could create chaos on the court.

"Wigs and dildos... they can't hurt anybody as long as I'm standing over it." — Bret Vesely (23:25)

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6. Critique of WNBA's Management and Fan Engagement

Towards the end of the episode, the discussion shifts to a broader critique of the WNBA's management and their relationship with fans. The hosts argue that the league's inability to handle criticism and maintain a robust fanbase is detrimental to its survival.

• Bret makes a pointed observation:

  "They got to have their hair done before. The hair ain't got to get dead." (19:38)

He suggests that the league prioritizes aesthetics over performance, which alienates fans and leads to unfavorable incidents.

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7. Concluding Thoughts

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on the absurdity of the events discussed and reiterating their stance on the need for better management and security in the WNBA. They conclude with a humorous yet critical tone, emphasizing the entertaining yet problematic nature of the incidents.

"Nobody was hurt. We're all laughing. We're all laughing." — Bret Vesely (20:34)

John Holmberg signs off by teasing upcoming segments and advertisements, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and commentary.

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Notable Quotes

• Bret Vesely on the athletic throw:

  "Look at the arm on whoever threw this. This thing comes out of... It's the most athletic thing I've seen in a WNBA game." (02:17)

• Bret Vesely on league sensitivity:

  "The league can't survive. They're too thin-skinned and need everybody to be like Dave Portnoy." (33:09)

• Bret Vesely envisioning future disruptions:

  "Maybe kindergarten scissors. How about a nerf dildo?" (20:07)

• Bret Vesely on player safety and humor:

  "Nobody was hurt. We're all laughing." (20:34)

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a candid and humorous take on some of the most unusual happenings in recent WNBA games. Through sharp commentary and engaging banter, John Holmberg and his co-hosts shed light on the challenges faced by the league, the reactions of fans and players, and the overall state of women's professional basketball. Whether you found the incidents amusing or concerning, the hosts ensure an entertaining and thought-provoking discussion for all listeners.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[Brett]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[Brett]

PD Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45 this the morning sickness and we're off and running, ready to go. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Big Dick Toledo. Let me just cut to the chase of what's my favorite thing that's happened so far in the year 2025. Here we go.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Hayes gets blocked by my Caldwell. Something flies on the car actually from the crowd. The officials will say they will continue play as that goes off the fingertips of the Valkyries and you can see the object, the block there. And the object comes. That green thing bounces and it goes to the sideline. We're not exactly where we're not sure where it came from.

[Brett]

Let's get a close up green thing.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Any of that type of activity. Yeah, and no one's picked the object up yet.

[Brett]

They chucked a green dick.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Not a wig.

[Brett]

No, it was a green dick. At the WNBA game they chucked a huge green dildo. And I'm telling you what the the most athletic thing I've seen in a WNBA game was this giant green dick flying from what appears to be 15 to 16 rows. This dude had a cannon. He can chuck a dick. But they threw this giant wiener out at the Valkyries and Atlanta Dream game right onto the court. And I mean it's Google is a throw like no other. Like you. They did it In Buffalo. Second time I've seen this.

[Unnamed Speaker]

200 people. Oh, yeah, we're escorted out for laughing.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. You can't. You can't make jokes about it after. Because the wig thing we learned. But just a couple these. This is my favorite part of this story. There were dudes who said, I have an idea. That awful WNBA. We can get tickets pretty close for like 20 bucks. Let's take a dick, go to the grocery store. Let's stuff one in our pants. They're not going to check us there. Nobody at that thing. Oh, you had it already. Yeah. And you've got it ready. And let's just. Let's chuck a green dick onto the court. That's the. Brett sees the. After you go to. Go to the beginning of when they show the actual toss. Like now, you guys. No, no, you got it. Oh, no, you do have the. After you have the actual throw. I just wanted you guys to hear it first, as would the listeners, and then take a look for yourselves at this incredible throw. Don't pay attention to the vulgarity of the dick throw. You know, behind the meaning and all the stuff that it is. Look at the arm on whoever threw this. This thing comes out of. It's 15 rows deep into that angled section behind the backboard. I mean, look at the. Look at the distance.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

You see that thing? Back it up, Bret. The will say, look at where this thing comes from. Now that you know, watch this. From God knows where.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Gets plucked by Maya Caldwell.

[John Holmberg]

It's like Otani throwing someone out at home.

[Brett]

I'm going to say it. That's the farthest. Lorena Bobbit, John Wayne Bobbit's wife, never threw a dick that far. She had one. The Buffalo Bills fans that chucked him onto the field, never. This is from way back there.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Top of the key.

[Brett]

And he throws it. He throws it to the top. They don't know what it is. They don't. The best part, the second best part is the. No, women recognize what it is. Like something's been thrown onto the court. It bounces all the way to half court.

[Unnamed Speaker]

You've replayed it, Brett, or they keep showing up three times. I just realized the three point attempt was blocked so easily.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, she got no hops. Don't watch the basketball, brain. What are you doing?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Well, I'm looking for the.

[Brett]

Look at this. Now, the dangerous thing is if one of these women would have been killed by a dick, Matt, it would have injured someone. That' hilarious giant dick. They get the cops out onto the Court. Look at that. I don't recognize this. What is this? Every girl in the crowd's like, what is it? We don't know what. It's some sort of alien form. They have no idea what it is. And then there's one black guy standing front. Ladies, that's a dick. What? Why would we. And then they want to kick him out immediately. Look at the throw. No room.

[John Holmberg]

Security guys, even kind of smart.

[Brett]

No room for any of that at a WNBA game. No dicks allowed at a WNBA game. You think they'd celebrate a dismembered dick at one of those games?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Inappropriate.

[Brett]

Inappropriate, indeed.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Get him out of here, whoever it is.

[Brett]

That's right. Get them out. Get those dick tossers out of there. And guess what? They'd be fine to leave.

[John Holmberg]

Did they catch the guy?

[Brett]

I don't know. But I. I don't know. And that. I didn't follow up. I was laughing too hard, and I watched it too many times to actually do any. I. I braided this story. I saw the video. That's worth it. That's enough for me. I don't need to know what happened to that guy. He's a hero. I can imagine. It's like, all right, you guys have to go. Oh, no, you're. You're never allowed in a WNBA game again. Ah, not that there probably will get some. Oh, if they catch real charges, that's dangerous. And these women will, like, prosecute to the fullest extent because, I mean, there is no question that could have hurt someone. But the headline flying dick hurts WNBA woman is kind of almost worth it in a way. It's like, you'd never expect any of them to be associated with a dick injury. Brady. I'm not saying I'm for the idea of doing it again. I'm just saying had it. Look, I'm telling you, from my perspective, you can go on yours. If a dick. If a dick hit a WNBA lady in the game and hurt her, you know, I'd be laughing.

[John Holmberg]

The headlines are great. Neon green dildo gets launched from fans throw Dildo on four Dildo thrown on court.

[Brett]

The irony of a dick injuring a woman in the WNBA is too rich not to laugh. And now that in hindsight, Brady and I know you're trying to be nice, but you'd laugh too. Nobody got hurt. And when a flying dick goes onto a WNBA court, no one's hurt. That's good. But it had. Had it. Hit one on the shoulder and, like, took her out for a couple weeks. All right, I'm dying, laughing. I'm still laughing. Dick injures NBA player. That headline can't happen. Hilarious now that you present it like that. Yeah. I mean, come on. If you had the head. If you had the brave headline. Of course we have to play pretend in all sports. This is just an abomination and things like this can't happen and yada blah, blah, blah. Yes, it shouldn't happen, of course, but it did, and that makes it funny.

[John Holmberg]

The best part is the. The copycat people that are going to be throwing dicks on the.

[Brett]

On the floor. The best part is, is now security has to keep an eye out for dicks coming in, which has never been a problem in the past. I mean, if you're gonna get a rogue now, you know who's gonna be really pissed? Real WNBA fans when they search through their purses and find that all of them have dicks in there for their own personal pleasures later. Can't bring that in, ma'. Am. What are you talking about? I can't bring that in. That's my. That's my wooby. That's my. That's my emotional support animal.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Every game now, there's gonna be a couple of 55 gallon drums.

[Brett]

Ladies, ladies, ladies, I'm sorry, you can't bring this in. What are we supposed to play with when the halftime we don't get no red panda? I'm sorry you can't bring them in. You got to use your rabbit. Oh, that thing's all worn down. Call me a jerk, but I don't care. It's hilarious. And even better, they didn't recognize what it was. Remember when it happened in Buffalo?

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's a WNBA player injured by ufo.

[Brett]

Yeah. UNIDENTIFIED oh, ufd. Unidentified Flying with people are calling it a dick. We don't know what that is. They chucked one at him. And this on the heels of the day before, which we didn't talk about, is the lady who had her wig pulled off in the game. And you know what? If you've seen. Everybody's seen the video at this point, the two, the two things that she. She cuts around a terrible screen. I mean, fundamentally one of the worst screens ever. But the defense is so bad that it actually turned out to be a decent screen because the girl ran right into the terrible, terrible play, and she reaches up and grabs the other girl by the hair and rips her weave off. Or her wig pops right off, throws it on the ground like roadkill. In the middle of the game, the girl goes back and grabs.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Nobody thought it was best cut was getting off the floor.

[Brett]

She took off and left. That's delay of game. Then you've got illegal substitutions. The other team should be shooting free throw. If a dude ever wore a toupee, oh, it's total. You can't just leave. She wasn't injured. She just ran away. She was embarrassed, so they ripped her wig off. And instead. And I don't understand why you're playing with all that anyway. And they call it, like, you know, they want to try to say it was a wardrobe malfunction, which it's not. It's equipment. It's a fashion faux pas. It's not equipment. Your hair is not your equipment. And in football, Troy Palomales get tackled by his hair and have ripped out all the time. They throw in a fit, hurt him. He was the dummy who did it. He never just ran off the field in the middle of the play to go get his. That's. But so they do all this stuff, and you're laughing. You're like, okay, girls. And then someone in the crowd. It was a Phoenix Mercury game, and so it was in Washington, but someone in the crowd made fun of the girl from behind the bench. And they're like, they stopped the game again. And instead of doing what is right, which is okay, one of the broads just ran away. You can't do that. You can't have your feelings hurt and run off the court. You can't do it. That's called quitting. You're disqualified. You can't do it. The guy that made fun of him behind the thing, they spent more time searching out who made the joke. And God, I want to know the joke. And had that guy removed for making fun of a girl's wig falling off. I've been to games where a dude's shoe fell off and he never heard the end of it. For a men's basketball game, his shoe popped off or like something had happened, and you get injured, and people will start yelling at you that you're a baby or how's your back? Or Anthony Davis street clothes. They wouldn't stop making fun of a man who actually had real injuries. Nobody got kicked out for that. You just can't use slurs and start, like, you know, verbally attack him. If you do and you take a risk that that dude's gonna come over there and pop you. But the guy got removed. That's why this was where I hear.

[Unnamed Speaker]

The audio on that saying, it's this guy right over here. He was laughing.

[Brett]

Did you Hear that? I thought it's actual real audio. Where the. Where the. Where the referee.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Which one was it?

[Brett]

Referee's talking. They said what happened. They said someone was laughing and making jokes about that and made fun of her. Yeah. And like, okay. And they. And they went to go get him out. This is why the league can't survive. You're risking being outed in public. Like, they'll find him and you'll lose your job because you were the guy who made fun of the weave situation. Like, they'll. They'll. They'll tattle on you if you don't. If you don't fall in line at a wnba. I've been to baseball games. Harassment from the. From the crowd and, like, jokes and whatever. They'll make jokes about the visiting. She's a visiting team player. You're up for harassment from the crowd if your wig falls off. That's what you're going to be known for in that game. No, no, no, no. No one's allowed to talk about what happened on the court. Just play. Pretend that this is a good game.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Imagine if a player around that screen and that the weave came out and the other player slips on it.

[Brett]

Yeah. And then she bust her leg. Yeah, that would have been great. You're right, Freddie. That would have been hilarious. Pretty scenario is funny. That's good stuff.

[Unnamed Speaker]

You got to put a.

[Brett]

And then a dildo hits her restriction. God, if it was the perfect storm where a wig fell off and dicks flew in at the same time, it was like, oh, I never thought I'd.

[John Holmberg]

Say this, but I'm almost ready to go to.

[Brett]

I want to go to that game.

[John Holmberg]

Just if this stuff that's happening now, this is great.

[Brett]

Wigs are flying. It's like, wigs, dildos, everything.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Brilliant marketing.

[Brett]

Oh, it's like a World Star video. They're not that smart. They're 30 years in. They've never come up with the idea of. Of wigs and weaves flying off. I love it. I thought it was the funniest thing I've seen in sports in a long time. Not the dildo. That's not good. Don't do that. All right, kids, no playing in the house. You're going to hurt somebody with that. I hope we learned. I hope we got it out of our system. Nobody was hurt. We're all laughing. And now let's just move on. It's been done. Let's don't go for bigger is better either. And chuck one of those 20 inchers. I know.

[John Holmberg]

King Dong's gonna be flying out of the stands next.

[Brett]

Hey, if it does, give it to that dude. Give it to the Tom Brady of WNBA crowd members. That dude has a rocket for an arm. John Holmberg's morning sickness the 98 KUPD KUP. It's John Holmberg here and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com if I told you I had an idea for a project and said to you in order to finish the project, We've got about 10 steps to go through and seven or eight of them are time consuming and could ruin the entire thing. Doug Hopkins, he offers you cash for your home as is right now, and that process is over. He doesn't change that price. You get $5,000 guaranteed. Your house is sold. Start the process online right now@doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins 1-800-sale Holmberg's Morning Sickness they placed that thing to dead center. Beautiful throw. I don't even know how you throw a dildo leg, but that thing had had some speed. It had a nice bounce. Awesome.

[Unnamed Speaker]

At least 30ft past the landing point.

[Brett]

Neon green again.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's a mid court.

[Brett]

Yeah, they're chucking dicks at us. They had to sit in the huddle and go, they're chucking dicks at us. When will we get what we deserve? But that's why the league isn't. I mean, the dildo thing is too far, but the league is no fun. They make everybody who says anything critical about it a misogynist or a horrible person just for not liking the product. I make fun of. You know what? Kudos to the Phoenix Rising and soccer. I think your product sucks, too. I think it's horrible. But that's just one man's sports opinion. Jerry Colangelo. Years and years and years ago, he wrote down a letter to the media and said, good, bad or otherwise, when you talk about the Diamondbacks, you're still talking about us. We appreciate it. When you're critical of us, we're fine with it. When you're making fun of us, we're fine with it. You're talking about us, and that's it. And you know, obviously there's going to be a line where you're just not making a dude's family or outing him publicly on something. Has nothing to do with the game. If you're talking about the game. Talking about the game. I'm talking about the game. I think the WNBA is the worst professional sports. I'm Using quotes professional sports product that has ever existed, ever. And they can't handle the criticism. They can't handle a show that would. Could you imagine a show on like ESPN that was honest about this? The way they are about the NBA? If you're bad in the NBA, they wreck you. They should. They wreck you. And they should. At wnba, they can't do it. These girls are fragile. Their hair falls off. Why would you play basket? I have a. I play basketball a lot again. And I've never once thought, I better get dressed up for this. I never once thought I should. Look, I gotta go comb my hair.

[John Holmberg]

And we'll see you put a Bootsy Collins weave.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I mean, you mentioned it earlier. A lot of people were saying that early on about the extensions in the NFL.

[Brett]

Like, why don't I do that? Right?

[Unnamed Speaker]

I mean, yeah, yeah. Tail back there. And you see there's a handful of tackles that happen.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Throwing the strands out.

[Brett]

That turd that Derrick Henry has shooting out of the back of his helmet, I don't know what that is, but he ties his hair up into what.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Looks like a giant dread cow pie turd.

[Brett]

People try to hold it, they get hold of that turd, but he's just too strong. And it doesn't hurt him if it gets pulled, it gets pulled. But if a man in the NBA decided, like, I'm self conscious of my baldness, I'm gonna wear a toupee out there and it fell off. Nobody's getting kicked out of the game for teasing the dude for running away when his toupee gets knocked off.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Entire team would be laughing.

[Brett]

He's legend for wearing the toupee. Legend Jimmy Butler.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Looking forward to it.

[Brett]

Jimmy Butler. Yeah. What's your hair gonna look like at media day when you come out with your wacky hair and Golden State? It's. Look, they're just babies. That's the biggest problem. They want the world to like their product and never mention the truth. I don't think you should throw dicks at them, but it happens. So there's nothing I can do.

[John Holmberg]

It's not the new airplane.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's not the new glider on the court.

[Brett]

I can't stop laughing about it. I'll tell you this. Yes, it again. You don't throw dicks at the WNBA anymore, but to the dude who did it. You're a pioneer and you did a great thing, but other than that, that's where it ends. We can't have that. And it's awesome that you snuck a dick in. They Weren't looking for those. Nobody had one of those. And if they did, it was for, like, they're not getting rid of it. Ah, the W. We in the W. Let's get that line. Oh, I peed my pants when I saw that last night. And it was right on. Like, I've been watching that wig thing for a couple of days.

[Unnamed Speaker]

They should have a hair tent.

[Brett]

They shouldn't. They shouldn't wear wigs.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Just put it over eyelashes and they can fix it.

[Brett]

Like, they put eyelashes on those big ass, weird eyelashes. They're wearing them during the game. They don't. They're more about how they look than how the performance of the game is. They don't care about the product. They got to have their hair did before. The hair ain't. The hair's got to get dead. Dudes who have dumb hair in the NBA are ridiculed. There was that dude there for Charlotte for a little while that had that weird. Like, he looked like Darth Vader's ship. He had the sides up and the front down. And I was like, you look like an idiot. I forgot his name, but it was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. I mean, you can still have your hair done in a way that's performance ready. But if you've got, you know, you don't see a whole lot of dudes.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Headbands are fine.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. But there's a whole lot of dudes out there with long hair. They bundle it up. They keep it together. No dude is putting his weave on or his wig on and saying, if it comes off, I'm. Guys, if it comes off in the middle of this game, I'm running back. I can't be seen without my hair.

[John Holmberg]

What's going to happen tonight at some WNBA game? This is going to be great again.

[Brett]

So I don't have to get in trouble by the company I work for. Don't go chucking dildos at him. It's already been done. We have the video. Let's just love.

[John Holmberg]

Come up with something new.

[Brett]

Yeah, let's. No, no. Come on. What? Because the next thing would be scissors, and that's really dangerous. Maybe kindergarten scissors. How about a nerf dildo? That can't hurt.

[John Holmberg]

Brought to you by Fleshlight.

[Brett]

Those dudes, they had bad intentions with that thing, too. That was good. They threw it at them while they were down on that end of the court.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I think the next thing will be wigs.

[Brett]

Chucking wigs.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Like squids.

[Brett]

Well, that's the thing. I hope that when. When a girl hits a three, it turns into what happens at the Red Wings games. They just chuck things all over the court and they have to. Patrick, you get three threes in a game. Look. Yeah, everybody chucks a dick onto the court. I'm with you guys on this. It'll never happen. You have to hit three threes in a game. And I don't think that's ever occurred. How about three me bounds? Three missed shots by the same person. Very possible. And they get their own rebound three times off the same play. That's a hat trick in the wnba. And then wigs. Let the dick. Dildos. Dildos and wigs. I'll give you missing three.

[John Holmberg]

Missing three threes.

[Brett]

We're going to run out of dicks. Tie the wig to the dildo like it's dread pubes and throw the whole thing out there. And then it would like parachute down. It wouldn't hurt anybody.

[John Holmberg]

Like those army men used to throw up.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. With the parachute. Throw them as high as you could. And then we do that with. With the pube wigs. Make a parachute. So the dicks just slowly float down from the sky. But again, whoever the dude is who threw it, you're a bad man. But you need a euro. I want the Cubs to go out and grab hold of you and put you on the hill. That dude can throw that distance you don't even see. Just comes from off camera. It's out of frame and It's.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's already mid 20.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's 25th. It's 20. 20 rows deep. My seats are 15 rows back in a size. Let's take a look. Let's try to end it. Let's try to pause it right on the right after the. She shoots a three from her chest. Look at that. Look at where it's coming.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That might have been upper deck.

[Brett]

It was according to the article they said it was from. No one's sitting in the upper deck.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I know, I forgot.

[Brett]

This is the Atlanta. They. They only have like a 5,000 seat.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Stadium because now I look at the. There is no way.

[Brett]

Timeout. That's Washington. Missed the. Oh, it is Washington. No, this is Atlanta. This is Atlanta.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, it is the draw.

[Brett]

They don't have an upper deck. That's. It's like the Mullet arena, the officials will say.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I mean, because it's coming on a sharp angle, so it's pretty heavy.

[Brett]

He might have thrown it from the concourse. That is a chuck, man.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Or he could have just Put it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Way up in the air.

[Brett]

Still a hell of a throw.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, it's even more.

[Brett]

It's the best. It's the most athletic thing that happened on that entire series. And you could. First off, the girl shooting the chest 3 has it blocked before she even gets it to her face. I've never seen a shot blocked from three where no one jumps. I know, I like in slow mo. Go back to that. Now it's getting funnier. The girl shooting. The girls shooting the three. Brady's right. There's actually nobody jumps and the shot gets blocked. No one jumps and the shot is blocked as she tries to chest chuck a three. And then another girl throws an airball. I didn't even see this. Look at the basketball that's going on while dicks are flying around.

[John Holmberg]

I like the replay.

[Brett]

In slow mo.

[John Holmberg]

Here comes the dick.

[Brett]

It's hilarious. Oh, my God. All right. Sorry, ladies. That's bad. That's terrible behavior. See the ref signal? Nope. Continue playing. Keep playing. But there's a dick on the floor. Nobody's. Don't worry about it. Nobody's even gonna come close to that. It's the wnba. They're gonna avoid that like they have all their lives. I like to get a close up of it and they get a lady, like hovering above it like, I got this. It can't hurt anybody so long as I'm standing over it. Give me a towel and a garbage bag. There's a dude in the front row explaining what it is. You see, this is what a male's male genitalia looks like. Ladies, we're not familiar. I understand that. That's why I'm here. Have Atlantis finest take care of that for us. Oh, that first block three. Brady's right. I didn't watch any of the basketball because why then the next three is just a wild air ball and it bounces off at two people. God knows who's at it.

[John Holmberg]

She's complaining about she threw an airball.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I mean, of the three people underneath, two of them didn't even see the ball.

[Brett]

Basically threw an airball and it bounced off the two people facing her. That could. They're there for rebounds. This big dopey white broad chucks up an airball. There's the dick. I can't get enough. Oh, there's 52 seconds left in a tied ball game.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Why can't the security guy just sweep it out?

[Brett]

Just pick it up? Yeah, in case it's a bomb. I don't know that block 3. No one leaves the ground. Never seen it before in my life. My entire life.

[Unnamed Speaker]

No one sees.

[Brett]

And the girls down for the rebound get hit by the airball. Cuz, you know, it's supposed to hit a rim. In fairness to them.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus.

[Brett]

In fairness to them. Oh, that is the best.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah. They were avoiding it because they didn't want to be the last to touch it.

[Brett]

All right. Yeah. I mean, the one that was boxing out was the one who ended up hitting it. Oh, my God. Boxing out. Nice. Sorry. Well, that's what it's called, Brett. And then it's a different game. Oh, and then they call the cops out. Even the cops laughing. Of course he's laughing. Like, first time out of there. Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Here's my jack rat.

[Brett]

Put your gloves on. Pick that up. And the reason why they took so much time is because they've had to cover it up. Look, the lady's got it all covered up, so they can't just walk off holding a dick. And that's more.

[John Holmberg]

I want to be stopped out of there.

[Brett]

What is that? She want to be accused of leaving the tribe. That dude chucks it.

[Unnamed Speaker]

The block was so hard, she almost fell down.

[Brett]

Yeah, no, I see. Well, you shoot from the chest like you're. Like you're a. Like she's. It's like a shot put. I don't know why she's there. The coach needs to tell that one not to shoot from three anymore because she shoots from her hip like it's an 1880s Western. Anyway. That's. That's good stuff there. Thanks, WNB. I've never been more entertained in late July by basketball in my life. Awesome stuff. And again, pay them what they're worth, because, man, oh, man, if they're bringing this kind of comedy to the tv.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That'S a bonus game.

[Brett]

You got their hair falling off, dick's flying around. I mean, in that sweet Georgia Brown right there. I mean, that's good stuff. I'll be watching tonight. And the Valkyrie taking on the dream. I mean, everybody know. Name, name, all the players that have. Have graced the courts of the Valkyrie and dream he got. Anyway, remember when that dick flew out there on that game? I do. That was the best thing ever happened. God, I loved it. I loved it, loved it. Good stuff. Sorry about that, everybody. The wig thing is awful, though. The wig thing was the one where everybody kind of goes, all right. Every normal person. Like, this is why we won't go. Your wigs fall off. We should be allowed in the crowd to laugh at that. That's a funny moment. You need to be less fragile.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Some of the best moments in tv.

[Brett]

But think of male sports. They want to be treated the same, but these dudes just get barraged by fans. I mean, like, it's. It's some people. The heckling that happens to road teams, the booing, the teasing, the making fun, the. It's a. It's part of it. Like you have to deal with a hostile road crowd. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. If a guy's hair falls off at a Suns game and he's playing for Charlotte, you will never hear the end of it. The crowd will laugh. What we did to Giannis Antsacompo during the finals because he takes too long is to ridicule him constantly and then count down his free throw things. It was on the fan's mind the whole time. Get in that guy's head. If you give us the gift of your hair falling off and we got to get in your head, now we've got something, you're going to attack with it. Can't do it and get kicked out of the game.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Minute of shame on an airball.

[Brett]

They completely have to absolutely loosen up and grow some thicker skin in the wnb. Not like that. Brent, stop it. Do have to loosen up.

[John Holmberg]

You want a little music?

[Brett]

You got some of that. The Atlanta Dream. I had a dream that one day there'd be a basketball team named after a woman. Smack. But I didn't ask for that. Hair and dicks all over the court. I had a dream today that's dishonoring the memory of mlk. And I'm not talking about the dick flying out there. I'm talking about naming a women's basketball team after him. He never wanted that. It was. In fact, I looked in his will, it said, just don't name any women's sports after me. That's all. I was like, is that right? Yeah. He was on that balcony up there in Memphis. One thing. Jesse. Jesse Jackson. Just don't name anything terrible after me. Statues are beautiful. And streets. Name streets after me. One thing I don't want. I had a nightmare. 35, 40, 50 years from now, team in Atlanta playing some sort of pseudo basketball would name themselves after my dream. They was all women. It was disgusting.

[John Holmberg]

Green dicks flying everywhere.

[Brett]

Green dicks. I had a nightmare. Jesse had to tell him, like, you don't want that named after me. This is not an honor. Name it after a woman. That's another thing. Name. I know Atlanta's Heavy on that. Here's how the NFL handles a object. They had the peepees getting thrown out. There's a dick that got tossed onto the Bills game. That's just a. Nobody reacted. Kick it off the court.

[Unnamed Speaker]

There's another one here. Hang on.

[Brett]

Kicking off the field. Yeah, the bill's got. Yeah, there's a few angles. This is. The referee dealt with it when he went out and picked it up. It looks like. Crowd just laughing. Oh, my God. All the players walk right by it. They left it alone. This ref finally calls timeout. Here's how. Get the ball, boy. Truck can't get enough for this, boy.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Kick it. Oh, there we go.

[Brett]

Listen to that. Listen how much fun the NFL is. Nobody went into the crowd. Nobody stopped the game. Let's go. I'm sure there is an announcement a few minutes later. Please refrain from tossing crap onto the field, you idiots. We serve you beer. We know this is the risk. Don't we have a stadium voice guy? We need to have him, Paul. Things like that. Please refrain from throwing dicks at the ladies, please. It is funny, but don't. Anyway, so that happened last night, and that made my. That made my month. I mean, I had a great time in Vegas, but, I mean, there's nothing better than what just happened there. And somebody will. You can. Because women's sports get so many. Shut up. That's hilarious. Nobody got hurt. We move on. But God damn it, that's funny. This guy said, I heard when it hit the court, Brittney Griner plays for the dream. Said, that ain't nothing compared to mine. That's probably true. Brittany probably looked at it, said, who threw the little tiny dick out here? Who you pleased with that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just give Brittany your dick back.

[Brett]

Yeah, somebody just hand that over. I agree. I'm getting corrected. It isn't a wig, It's a weave. I don't know the difference. I don't care. But when hair flies off on a court, I find it hysterical. And you can tease that. You can make fun of that. Kurt Rambis had those dumb glasses. And people like, you know, would make fun of that all the time, wear those. Weird. He strapped them up. Watched a game the other day where Antoine Carr is a monster. He was a journeyman, but he's playing for the jazz at the time. Had these Oakleys on them, strapped up. He looked crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Horace Grant did that all through the 90s.

[Brett]

He had those goggles. Kareem, of course. And people make fun of him. You go to the, you know, the opposing Teams and the fans would be in like joke versions of those glasses or goggles.

[John Holmberg]

John, Never in my life I thought anyone could have a 20 minute conversation about a dildo.

[Brett]

Especially the WNBA game. We can do that. Trust me. You challenge me. I can make that happen every day. Anyway, it was fun. It was fun. So I will leave that be as it is because the WNBA will, they will contact the station and they will say, you know, it's just misogyny. Because that's the problem with the league, that anytime you talk about exactly what you saw, they get upset. They want your eyes to be fooled. They're like the wizard of Oz. Don't pay any attention to what's really going on here. Close the curtain. But when you actually talk about what happened, you have to fall in line with them or they'll start calling your bosses. And that's why the league can't make it. They don't have. They're so thin skinned that they need everybody to be Dave Portnoy. They need everybody to be like, see? Dave Portnoy gets it. He's a real man. Then they insult you for being something. And just because their product sucks, they won't admit it when someone says it does. They're a bad person. You say, the Suns suck. The Sons are like, yeah, we're trying, but we do suck right now. Because when they suck, you can say, so it's not like I'm going to a little league game going, these kids suck. Because most of the times they do. But they're kids. These are women who are screaming, they want millions of dollars. They want equal. They want to be treated like, no, then we're allowed to. There's a Brett's looked up neon green dildos. What are those things for 20 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

You can get one for 10 bucks. Oh, it's got a suction cup and everything.

[Brett]

More than the cost of a ticket to the game. Yeah, hilarious.

[Unnamed Speaker]

You know, I was thinking about the, the Folly films they used to do the NFL the entire season. You can put one together in one game.

[Brett]

Oh, you could put together on one player in one game and a half. Let's focus on Angel Reese and do a Folly video. And you don't have to say like, tonight might be a bad. No, let's. I guarantee you you'll have a one minute reel. You pick a girl out of a hat, one of the starters, and say, we're gonna follow her tonight and just do a funny reel of all her mistakes. You know, if you'd have a four minute video it's great. I came up with this idea, and I think it's brilliant. I was talking to a guy about the WNBA the other day, and he was defending a little bit, like, a lot of companies don't make money and still pay their employees more as they call it an investment. It's not that they're like, NBA teams aren't subsidizing to keep it afloat. They're investing in the future. I'm like, okay, fair enough. I'm like, but how about this? Like a comedian down at Stand Up Live sometimes won't get a fee. He'll get the door. Give him the door. Let the lady split the door. Ticket sales. There you go. Let them split the door. That's your. That's what you get tonight. And it's a. That's your bonus. You'll get the entirety of the door or a percentage of the gate. Like you have anything. Do it with a lot of bands. Like, a lot of the bands will be like, we'll. We'll clear out what the costs are. You give us tickets and Live Nation will make a deal with them where we get this. You get that? Live Nation most times says, we get tickets, we pay you a fee, and then we try to make up on that. So, like, let's say a band is 100 grand. They have to set the ticket prices accordingly.

[Unnamed Speaker]

We'll get a third of the ticket, right?

[Brett]

So if we're going to pay this team, you know, if the payroll of our team's going to be a million dollars, we have to make a million dollars. So the ticket prices have to go up for, like, six or seven bucks for the season because you got, like, 12 home games and you gotta hope that you load up to a million and cover your cost plus your. And give them the door. If you give them the door, that's a million. Really? No, that's it. That's if they want their money. That's if you've got, like, two amazing players.

[Unnamed Speaker]

They change out the floor, right? It's a different floor.

[Brett]

What do you mean? For. Then the Suns?

[Unnamed Speaker]

For the. Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. Suns have, like, five floors. Mercury has one, and it's horrendous. And give them the. Give them the gate if. And look, the girls in Indiana would be like, we're killing it. We're flat out killing it up there.

[John Holmberg]

They take that deal.

[Brett]

Absolutely. They're selling out the big arena. If the Suns girls got the door, you know what? They'd start screaming because this is how much they care about the Fans raise prices. Those girls on the court would be like, raise those prices. Let's get some more coming in. What are we charging? $20 ahead. Let's get 35. And you'd start alienating the fans because those women are in it for themselves and themselves only. They're not trying to make a better product. They're not trying to.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Right now, the floor. They'd be shopping for a new city.

[Brett]

What do you mean?

[Unnamed Speaker]

The attendances.

[Brett]

Oh, it's not very good. Yeah, but you'd have to change the arena. You know, concessions would be less. They'd cut back and make more for themselves. They're not trying to make.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I mean, Rising Sessions has crowds, dollar beer.

[Brett]

Yeah. I never hear the Rising guy screaming, they want what the dudes in European soccer make. We want our fair share. The Rising guys are like, we got to get to the bigs. We got to make this product worth it. I don't want to hear it from them anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you hear at the Rising Gives orderly.

[Brett]

And then they start drumming and screaming. I don't know what's going on. Those caballeros or whatever they call themselves in the. I don't know what it's called. The end zone. Yuck. I hate that game. But you know what? I tip my cap to them because they can hear. They're popular and good enough at what they do to hear someone not like their game without losing their mind. Soccer's for sissies. I say it all the time, but that's my opinion. I don't like soccer. It's boring. I'm an American. We were raised that way. Go ahead and watch it if you want.

[Unnamed Speaker]

At least they admit the flop is part of the game.

[Brett]

Oh, the flop. There was plenty of bad NBA basketball this year. It's terrible product.

[John Holmberg]

Well, before Dixon weaves. Would you rather go to a WNBA game or soccer game?

[Brett]

Man, people have asked me that before. Is it a men's soccer game? Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to men's soccer. Okay. Watch women flounder around.

[John Holmberg]

But now I'm, you know, now with dildos and weaves.

[Brett]

Well, that. That changes it. If their hair and their stuff's gonna start falling off, I don't want their clothes to start coming off. Man. The only reason I say that is not because I'm a misogynist, is because the men are. There's no chance they're going to start crying for more money in the middle of the game. I don't want to hear your political nonsense. They started doing that. I don't want to go to that either. But the MLS guys, they just go out there and play soccer. I hate soccer, but I'd watch that because they're out there to just play the game. They don't have some agenda. They're just trying to better the team, then move on to another level. 622. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one maybe in honor of Dixon Weaves. Is there a song called Dixon? There's Boats and Hoes.

[John Holmberg]

I will find one.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'm sure it's gotta be out there somewhere. Check World Star because that's the whole thing's turned into a world star. Women are fighting. There's weaves flying around, dicks in the air. Give it to us good and strong. 585 9, 800. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KVD. Wake up Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[John Holmberg]

It's Brett and John for Action Ride Shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa.

[Brett]

The new location is your East Valley Full line bike Shop with brands like Pivot, Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain Giant, Norco. And of course, Action Ride Shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus being so close to the Hawes trailhead, they have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and E bikes.

[John Holmberg]

Action Ride Shop now with two locations, the brand new shop at Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out at actionrideshop.com.