Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode Summary: July 30, 2025

In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Big Dick Toledo delve into some of the most bizarre and entertaining incidents that unfolded during recent WNBA games. The discussion is marked by humor, sharp commentary, and a candid take on the events that shook the basketball courts.

1. The Green Dildo Incident at the WNBA Game

The episode kicks off with a detailed recounting of an unusual event that took place during a WNBA game between the Valkyries and the Atlanta Dream. A massive neon green dildo was thrown onto the court, halting the game and sparking a flurry of reactions from both players and fans.

• Bret Vesely enthusiastically describes the incident:

  "At the WNBA game, they chucked a huge green dildo... It had some speed. It had a nice bounce. Awesome." (02:18)

• Big Dick Toledo adds context about the object's origin:

  "We're not exactly sure where it came from... Any of that type of activity." (01:39)

The hosts discuss the athleticism required to have thrown such an object from approximately 15 rows away, highlighting the impressive throwing arm of the individual responsible.

"Look at the arm on whoever threw this. This thing comes out of... It's the most athletic thing I've seen in a WNBA game." — Bret Vesely (02:17)

Despite the humorous take, Bret acknowledges the potential danger:

"The dangerous thing is if one of these women would have been killed by a dick, it would have injured someone." (05:04)

2. The Wig-Pulling Incident

Following the dildo incident, the conversation shifts to another peculiar event where a player's wig was forcibly removed during the game, leading to further chaos on the court.

• Bret narrates the event with a mix of amusement and critique:

  "She rips her weave off... throws it on the ground like roadkill." (09:35)

The hosts express their discomfort with the treatment of the player, contrasting it with how such incidents are typically handled in men's sports. They argue that while similar mishaps in male sports often result in ribbing, the response in the WNBA is disproportionately severe.

"Nobody got hurt. We move on. But God damn it, that's funny." — Bret Vesely (07:12)

3. Comparing Reactions Across Sports

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to comparing the reactions to similar incidents in different sports leagues. The hosts criticize the WNBA's handling of these events, suggesting that the league is overly sensitive and struggles with criticism.

• Bret shares his frustration:

  "The league can't survive. They're too thin-skinned and need everybody to be like Dave Portnoy." (33:09)

• John Holmberg echoes this sentiment, highlighting the disparity between male and female sports in handling such disruptions:

  "If a man's hair falls off at a Suns game, you will never hear the end of it." (38:50)

The discussion extends to how incidents like these could tarnish the league's image, with Bret envisioning a future where absurd objects like dildos and wigs become commonplace disruptors in games.

"Wigs, dildos, everything. They come out all over the court." — Bret Vesely (13:19)

4. Security Measures and Fan Behavior

The hosts debate the adequacy of security measures at WNBA games, questioning why objects like dildos and wigs are allowed to disrupt play without swift removal.

• Bret critiques the ineffective response:

  "Why can't the security guy just sweep it out? Just pick it up?" (24:52)

• Big Dick Toledo offers possible explanations for the security's inaction:

  "Maybe they're worried it's a bomb." (22:43)

This segment underscores the hosts' belief that better security protocols are needed to maintain the integrity of the game and ensure player safety.

5. The Hosts' Predictions and Future Incidents

Looking ahead, the hosts humorously speculate on future disruptions, suggesting that more unconventional objects will be thrown onto courts to wreak havoc.

• Bret forecasts:

  "Maybe kindergarten scissors. How about a nerf dildo?" (20:07)

He further imagines scenarios where a combination of incidents, such as falling weaves and flying objects, could create chaos on the court.

"Wigs and dildos... they can't hurt anybody as long as I'm standing over it." — Bret Vesely (23:25)

6. Critique of WNBA's Management and Fan Engagement

Towards the end of the episode, the discussion shifts to a broader critique of the WNBA's management and their relationship with fans. The hosts argue that the league's inability to handle criticism and maintain a robust fanbase is detrimental to its survival.

• Bret makes a pointed observation:

  "They got to have their hair done before. The hair ain't got to get dead." (19:38)

He suggests that the league prioritizes aesthetics over performance, which alienates fans and leads to unfavorable incidents.

7. Concluding Thoughts

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on the absurdity of the events discussed and reiterating their stance on the need for better management and security in the WNBA. They conclude with a humorous yet critical tone, emphasizing the entertaining yet problematic nature of the incidents.

"Nobody was hurt. We're all laughing. We're all laughing." — Bret Vesely (20:34)

John Holmberg signs off by teasing upcoming segments and advertisements, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and commentary.

Notable Quotes

• Bret Vesely on the athletic throw:

  "Look at the arm on whoever threw this. This thing comes out of... It's the most athletic thing I've seen in a WNBA game." (02:17)

• Bret Vesely on league sensitivity:

  "The league can't survive. They're too thin-skinned and need everybody to be like Dave Portnoy." (33:09)

• Bret Vesely envisioning future disruptions:

  "Maybe kindergarten scissors. How about a nerf dildo?" (20:07)

• Bret Vesely on player safety and humor:

  "Nobody was hurt. We're all laughing." (20:34)

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a candid and humorous take on some of the most unusual happenings in recent WNBA games. Through sharp commentary and engaging banter, John Holmberg and his co-hosts shed light on the challenges faced by the league, the reactions of fans and players, and the overall state of women's professional basketball. Whether you found the incidents amusing or concerning, the hosts ensure an entertaining and thought-provoking discussion for all listeners.