07-31-25 - Cobra Killed By 1yr Old Baby In India Has John No Longer Fearing Snakes - Turns Out Women Get Concerned About The Looks And Size Of Their Genitals As Much As Men Are

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: July 31, 2025 Release Date: July 31, 2025

Hosts:

• John Holmberg
• Brady Bogen
• Bret Vesely
• Dick Toledo

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1. Introduction and Personal Banter (00:00 - 03:21)

The episode kicks off with the hosts engaging in their signature humorous banter, setting a lighthearted tone for the morning show. John Holmberg leads the conversation with his characteristic wit, introducing topics ranging from technology mishaps to personal anecdotes.

John Holmberg (00:59): "Nobody has no like looking through like we have no sensitivity training either."

2. Operation Hydration: Community Efforts and Milestones (03:21 - 13:42)

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Operation Hydration, a community-driven initiative spearheaded by the hosts to distribute millions of water bottles to residents. John expresses immense pride and gratitude towards the listeners for their overwhelming support and donations.

John Holmberg (11:00): "Being this little local embarrassment has been kind of a nice thing and the community has benefited and that's just because you guys are awesome."

Bret Toledo (12:19): "There's a lot of sensitivity bouncing around this room."

The hosts discuss the logistics of the campaign, including key drop-off points like Ray and McQueen's Safeway location. They celebrate nearing the one-million-bottle milestone, highlighting the collective effort and encouraging continued support.

John Holmberg (13:42): "Operation Hydration is cruising into August way ahead of schedule. Trying to go over a million bottles today."

3. Viral News Story: Baby Kills Cobra in India (13:42 - 23:05)

The conversation shifts to a sensational news story about a one-year-old child in Bataya, India, who killed a cobra by biting it. The hosts dissect the incident with their trademark humor, debating the plausibility and implications of such an event.

John Holmberg (14:24): "A baby with no teeth had baby teeth. Those one-year-old teeth gummed a cobra to death. How tough are cobras? Not very."

Dick Toledo humorously extends the scenario to suggest that even lions could fall victim to such infant bravery, sparking a playful debate about wildlife and infant capabilities.

Dick Toledo (14:27): "Did you see one-year-old kid bite."

The hosts delve into a broader discussion about India, touching on themes of poverty juxtaposed with cultural landmarks like the Taj Mahal. They humorously critique the reality vs. the picturesque images, emphasizing the chaotic and vibrant nature of Indian streets.

John Holmberg (20:00): "Look at all the water. There's just puddles everywhere. What a dump. I love America. So I can call other countries dumps and not care, but..."

4. Gender-Specific Body Image Concerns (23:05 - 42:23)

Transitioning from wildlife marvels to personal insecurities, the hosts tackle the sensitive topic of body image—specifically focusing on genital appearance. John Holmberg introduces a discussion inspired by advice columns about women's concerns regarding the appearance and size of their genitals, paralleling men's insecurities about penis size.

John Holmberg (26:28): "We have over the years been sensitive as men to the size of our genitals. It's become a very big thing."

Brady Bogen and Bret Toledo contribute to the conversation by highlighting societal pressures and the impact of pornography on self-perception. They explore the dichotomy of public perception versus personal reality, bringing humor and candidness to the discussion.

John Holmberg (29:36): "I'm always that guy. Under Armour came along and changed the game at Dick's and made their mannequins steroid-riddled nightmares."

The hosts share anecdotes about personal experiences and societal expectations, emphasizing the arbitrary nature of beauty standards and the shared vulnerabilities between genders.

John Holmberg (34:09): "Men don't really care as long as it's hygienic and isn't disturbing. So it's the same thing as size doesn't matter unless it's too big or too small."

The conversation remains respectful yet humorous, aiming to shed light on the often-overlooked insecurities that both men and women face.

5. Testosterone Checks and Listener Interactions (42:23 - 48:53)

Shifting gears, the hosts engage in a playful competition over testosterone levels shared by listeners. John Holmberg enthusiastically congratulates Scott Haynes for an impressively high testosterone reading, prompting a humorous exchange about the implications of such numbers.

John Holmberg (42:34): "Dude's a walking boner."

Dick Toledo (43:36): "That's not healthy."

Brady Bogen and Bret Toledo join in the jest, poking fun at the extremes of masculinity and the chaos it can bring to personal dynamics. This segment underscores the hosts' ability to blend humor with personal stories, keeping the conversation lively and engaging.

6. Celebrating Kirby’s 17th Birthday and Fatherhood (46:38 - 48:53)

A heartfelt segment centers around Kirby's 17th birthday, highlighting the challenges and joys of parenting teenagers. The hosts reflect on the rapid passage of time and the bittersweet emotions tied to watching a child grow up.

John Holmberg (47:53): "You're still on the hook for 12 more months of her breathing earth's air and making sure she's okay."

Bret Toledo humorously shares his regrets about not foreseeing the responsibilities of fatherhood, while Brady Bogen and Bret Toledo each add their unique perspectives on raising a daughter nearing adulthood.

John Holmberg (48:07): "He’s done a lot of good work here, Brady. Well done."

7. Final Remarks and Closing (48:53 - 49:35)

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts transition into promoting the day's wake-up song and share lighthearted remarks about upcoming activities and local events. They reinforce the community spirit that underpins their show, thanking listeners once again for their unwavering support.

John Holmberg (49:35): "Happy birthday, Kirby Derbs. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station up day."

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg (26:28): "We have over the years been sensitive as men to the size of our genitals. It's become a very big thing."

• Bret Toledo (12:19): "There's a lot of sensitivity bouncing around this room."

• John Holmberg (34:09): "Men don't really care as long as it's hygienic and isn't disturbing."

• John Holmberg (42:34): "Dude's a walking boner."

• John Holmberg (48:07): "He’s done a lot of good work here, Brady. Well done."

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Conclusion:

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona adeptly balances humor with meaningful discussions, touching on community initiatives, viral news, personal insecurities, and the realities of parenthood. The hosts' chemistry and candid conversations provide an engaging experience for listeners, offering both entertainment and relatable content.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week downtown at Stand Up Live. Justin Willman and Nick Murphy will entertain you in Tempe at the Improv. You have comedy vet Flip Orly doing his thing and then he'll also be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv on the north end of town along with up and coming comedian Amir K. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com come on down to the Ranch House Grill.

[Brady]

Comfort food is your next meal.

[John Holmberg]

Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.

[Brady]

Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix?

[John Holmberg]

Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak.

[Brady]

Pork chili verde and large portions.

[John Holmberg]

Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're.

[Brady]

A family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years.

[John Holmberg]

Come on down to the Ranch House.

[Brady]

Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

At 56th street and Thomas Road. Hey, it's Larry McFeely with Wayne from AMCO. And Wayne, now that it's getting hot.

[Toledo]

Out, I turned on the AC in.

[John Holmberg]

My car and I'm not so sure that it's cool. Uh oh, well, the air's blowing kind.

[Toledo]

Of cool, but it sort of smells a little bit funky.

[John Holmberg]

Larry, your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smells. You know, it takes about an hour and in most cases we can do it while you wait. We also have an online coupon for 25 bucks off.

[Toledo]

Ooh, that's awesome.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say. We're Amco.

[Toledo]

Google Amco for your nearest location.

[John Holmberg]

That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more.

[Katie]

You thought that was funny.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Katie]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?

[John Holmberg]

To you, P.D.

[Katie]

Holmberg'S morning sickness. Gotta get up to here and make you laugh until you peel they might make you come undone make your cock rise with the sun. We'd like to welcome you to this morning's show with John Grant and Brady and big dick Toledo. They call us hobbs but we are not worth miles to nowhere. They speak on controversy. Who's bobbing? Johnny's mob. They think dua Lipa's great for the faint of heart. They're not. Homer's morning sickness. You gotta get up to hear it. Makes them laugh, makes em cry. In all seriousness and fun, make your cockri. We'd like to introduce our main host. They say he looks like Squidward with that big huge nose. Ha ha ha. But that's a prereq. They own the mornings airing over 20 years. Like a blue pill they're still going. Brady comes in shorts to report the news. He knows. But you can't eat at Porkopolis because it closed. Homer's morning sickness. You gotta get up to hear it. Make you laugh until you spew what you want are done. Make your with the sun homework morning sickness. You got to tune in and listen. Tap that app.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Don't get screwed in the end. All in good fun. Big red radio's got you son.

[John Holmberg]

There we go. Thank you very much. Katie and the hobs. That is miles to nowhere. Crushing it once again. Starting the day off beautifully at 6:50 here in the morning. Nobody has no like looking through like we have no sensitivity training either. And I've been told I'm supposed to go. It's a thing that everybody assumes is real. I'm not sure it actually is. CYA videos your boss.

[Toledo]

I feel we've. We've gone through it.

[John Holmberg]

I think we've gone through a video seminar saying don't. But I don't think that's sensitivity training for a mistake.

[Toledo]

More of an intro.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's an introduction if you want to start. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Here you got to go through.

[John Holmberg]

You get hired. You go through their things as we told you about. But I've never seen it additional like while you're working that you had to go. You got in trouble so you have to go watch some videos. I have not done it. I've never heard of it. I don't know what it really is. I don't know what it really is. All right, Brady. This is a big thing here. Here we are. It's the last day of July. It's Kirby's birthday. Happy birthday, Kirby. Seventeen seventy. Figure that one out, huh? Crazy at seventeen. What's the big party for? Seventeen.

[Toledo]

Now you know the tradition it. You'll love it.

[John Holmberg]

There is one.

[Toledo]

Yeah. The last probably. Yeah. It's probably been eight years.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for the family. I thought you meant for like 17 year olds.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah. No, no. There's no. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. You go to, like, Peter Piper or something. Or something close. Red Robin. That's right. You go to the trivia game at. Just the three of you. Just a family. Yeah, and then she wants to go to Red Robin.

[Toledo]

Yeah. And then she'll probably have something with her friends. But.

[John Holmberg]

But you're. No. No nothing. What?

[Toledo]

And I told her, you want to, you know, you want to do something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Let's take some friends out to Red Robin.

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Foot the bill.

[Toledo]

No, I wouldn't allow that.

[John Holmberg]

Get her that. Seven brothers. Maybe get a little freebie on that deal. Not a bad idea. Get seven. Seven meals. You can bring three friends. The birthday, maybe. Yeah, it's not a bad idea. Maybe show the ID. What? So for 16, a car. 17. The gift is much less, I assume.

[Toledo]

Yeah. You wait until graduation, you're not getting a present. Well, 18, I guess, would be a.

[John Holmberg]

Bigger year, but 17, meh. Some clothes, a gift card. Back to the basic gas money. Oh, that's a good present. All right. That's good. Happy birthday, Kirby. A bong. I think to Sunday's best.

[Toledo]

We got our five foot long.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's smart. Yeah. You know what? Let's just call it what it is. She likes this stuff. I had a poster Bob Marley that's like that velvety touch. Changes when the lights are off.

[Toledo]

It's good.

[John Holmberg]

It's a really good one. I'm asked me a week ago. I would have helped you out with this.

[Toledo]

You know what else I got her? The thing to jump your car.

[John Holmberg]

Jumper cables. Oh, the flashlight.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You said yesterday her car battery died.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And she was stranded. Nobody had jumper cables in the car. That's not good. You always have jumper. But those.

[Toledo]

Well, now they got them where you can just. You don't need another car to jump your car.

[John Holmberg]

Best thing I've got in my car. Not the awesome stereo. All the fun stuff. All the. The best thing I have in my car is that awesome flashlight. That is also jumper cables.

[Toledo]

And you can plug your phone in to charge it.

[John Holmberg]

And you charge it through a usb. So you can put. Yeah, it'll charge your phone. It's got. It's amazing. And I keep it in my car at all times. It has come in so handy. And it. And it's a power charge. It'll charge like a big truck. It's not like one of those. It's not charging. You know, a riding mower. Legitimate charge to Your car. My battery died. I had it in there. I didn't have to have anybody else home. I didn't have to have a second car. The. It's the. I don't even know the company. I'm just.

[Toledo]

I got. I got it at Costco.

[John Holmberg]

They sell them at Costco. I got mine online.

[Toledo]

And it's one that, you know, can start an amazing 6 liter diesel engine to a.

[John Holmberg]

And they charge real easy. It's not like they have to sit there for months quick. It's incredible. That is. That is an unsung super invention. 60 bucks and it's. That you don't have to tote it. It's literally a flashlight. You don't have to have like a box or something in the back of your car all the time. It's a flashlight. Keep it in the glove box. It's. It's awesome. That is. That is a under the radar, super invention. Because jumper cables are clumsy and they're. You always got to find a spot for them. They're in the trunk. Take.

[Toledo]

And I had a bigger one at one time. That, like, huge. It looked like a boom box. That was your own.

[John Holmberg]

The towed charger. Yeah, I was worried those would blow up. I'm a little worried the phone would blow up too, because there's, you know, there's. They're having like tons more fires and house fires now because of batteries and lithium chargers and things like that.

[Toledo]

I hear that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're like little calls for them. Not like houses are burning down.

[Toledo]

Because remember, it was the.

[John Holmberg]

The.

[Toledo]

The BMW car. There was like three or four of those fires. The smaller ones.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the. We had that one listener that Their whole house burned down from a remote control car in the garage. It was charging in the battery. I got my. My bike, which has to charge. The. My pivot shuttle, which isn't. It's not a new.

[Toledo]

That's a pretty big battery on the side.

[John Holmberg]

The big chunks. Well, yeah, you keep the. The charger is a big one. And I worry that that's in the. So I charge that outside. If I have it plugged in, I'm worried about that. But these little batteries like this, that's an amazing invention. Towed around a flashlight. And the cool thing is, like, you charge your battery, doesn't suck out all the flashlight juice. You can do it a couple of times. Yeah, I didn't recharge it. And my landscaper, Al was at the house and he goes, john, my battery's dead. You got jumpers. I'm like, I got Something better than that. Pulled the flashlight out, went over there. I'm like, I hope it's charged. If not, I do have jumper cables. And he's like, what is that? Because I bought the pink one and it looks like a huge sex toy. It's awesome. And it's in my jeep right now. If you peer in the windows of my Jeep, you'll see it. It's in the cup holder. I keep it with me at all times.

[Toledo]

The other thing is, I feel like a man.

[John Holmberg]

You do?

[Toledo]

I changed the battery out yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

The whole thing?

[Toledo]

The whole thing.

[John Holmberg]

See, I can't do that. I get too many aftermarket deals. Plus a little word I asked Brett. Oh, yeah. Help you out before I go.

[Toledo]

How hard would it be on this 08 Mustang? He's like, there's a little strap over there.

[John Holmberg]

And that should be nothing.

[Toledo]

It was nothing.

[John Holmberg]

My all new car.

[Toledo]

You still feel like a man?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I got double batteries. I can't find it in one of my cars. I don't even know where it is. The jumper cables are in the trunk and it's just a post. It's not on the battery. Yeah, I don't understand what that is. I don't know where the battery lives.

[Toledo]

I checked out mine. The. The Lincoln and.

[John Holmberg]

Impossible.

[Toledo]

They did a really cool thing. It's in the front and it shows you. You know, it's got a little lid over it and it shows you. There's a post right there. You just flip it up. Boom.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how to change batteries.

[Toledo]

I know the other one didn't have that.

[John Holmberg]

I got wires tied to wires tied to wires. I'm not touching that thing. I will explode myself. But you got it. Is Kirby's birthday. She got a brand new battery for her birthday. That's lovely. Try and keep her safe. But we are now one day away from August, which means we are officially two months into operation. Hydration and again, this pile of garbage show. If you ask the people we work for, has now gotten millions and millions and millions of bottles over the years of water to the community. You guys have been unbelievable as far as every time we've asked for any sort of donation for being part of this little of KUPD listeners and all you guys do. A thank you isn't enough. I don't even know what to do. We have probably today a chance of going over the million bottle mark for this summer. We've never hit a million in one year ever. Last year was our biggest and it was almost 900,000. And that was from Memorial Day all the way. And keep in mind, last year we had 75 days over 110 degrees, right? This year we're at 20. Last year it's. And last year we needed it more than ever. And this year we have. And I think maybe on the heels of last year people are like, ah, last year was bad news. Let's get whatever the reasons are. We are going to hit a million bottles for sure, which was the goal. And it was a fingers crossed probably not going to do it. Goal. Not only are we going to hit it, we're going to obliterate it. And possibly today we won't get the numbers immediately, but I'm thinking that if we're four or five pallets of water away from hitting that mark, I don't know what we have planned for you if and when we hit it, but I am saying we're going to. And you know, that's amazing. Being this little local embarrassment has been kind of a nice thing and the community has benefited and that's just because you guys are awesome when we ask you deliver. And I think that's amazing. So Brett's out this morning.

[Toledo]

You know why? Because they're sensitive.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot of sensitivity bouncing around this room. Chandler is where Brett's going. Ray and McQueen to the Safeway at Ray and McQueen. That's where he is. And he's going to do his work this morning with Chevelle tickets a day to remember. He's going to be handing it. That's a bunch of KUPD stuff, which is great. When I pulled in this morning, I watched the KUPD van leaving. They're going to go scrub it up, put some gas in it and it always looks great driving away. Love the KUPD trucks. I love our logo and all the crap that comes with it and it just looks good. It makes me happy that you guys are part of this and we thank you in advance. I think we can do it today if we get another one of those truckloads from Saya. And I'm not asking if you guys are done. I bet you've done plenty. I'm not saying you owe us. I'm just saying if that truck pulls in this morning, my hair's gonna be real close. And it's weird. Just being a statistics guy, being a kid raised on baseball, hitting that million is like awesome to me. So it's this weird little kind of personal goal to say we can do this and we're doing it. Manning sickness. The 98 KUPD, Holmberg's morning sickness and whatever we do at this point will be gravy. But I think today we can knock it out. Pretty sure today's the day because last week was huge and we were at like 8:30 or something like that. 880 if I remember right.

[Toledo]

And like two more came in. Yeah, either like the next day we were 880 pallets.

[John Holmberg]

It's tough to get to a hundred thousand bottles, but 880 was where we were. And I think last week we had to get close to like at least 60 with all the sire guys and everybody that popped in and dropped off water. So I think today's the day. Great job Everybody. Ray and McQueen, that's where Brett's going this morning and he's going to knock it stiff for us once again out Ron Ray and McQueen. I'm very pleased with that whole deal. It's pretty awesome. Brady, I don't know if you have this in the Brady report, but this came out a couple days ago. I meant to talk about it the other day. I am no longer afraid of cobras because a baby killed one.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Did you see one year old kid bit.

[John Holmberg]

Bit the cobra that was trying to get him. A baby with no teeth had baby teeth. Those one year old teeth gummed a cobra to death. How tough are cobras? Not very. So you know who the big loser is in this? Those dudes with baskets, the charmers. Big deal. So baby ate your snake on the.

[Toledo]

Heel of that story. I did see that one year old kid. Then I see on the same day a video of a lion getting hit by a cobra.

[John Holmberg]

A cobra killed a lion. So babies can kill lions by that? Yes, yes. A baby could.

[Brady]

Rock paper scissors.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Rock paper scissors has any merit at all. If the food chain is anything babies can defeat. If you are in trouble, throw your baby at a lion. It'll handle it.

[Brady]

And maybe that just send it to a contract.

[John Holmberg]

It might just put the lion off that you threw a fragile little baby at it and the line be like.

[Toledo]

What do you did? It was a king cobra still.

[Brady]

And what'd the baby get?

[Toledo]

Not a king monocold cobra I believe.

[John Holmberg]

Which is even too much.

[Toledo]

It's very, it's like the third.

[John Holmberg]

It's the one year old boy identified by his first name of Govinda, bit the cobra while he was playing at his house in the small town of Bataya near the Indio Nepal border.

[Toledo]

Great town.

[John Holmberg]

It is a fun town. A lot of people talk about the. The water park there. Water park and the surfing man, the ladies, the smells. They have a. They have the only shower in all of India. It's amazing.

[Toledo]

They get that fam Punjab and Busters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's fun. With all the video games and the dark. It says we saw the snake in the child's hands and everyone rushed towards him in the meantime, he'd already bit the snake. Killed it on the spot. Child's grandmother told the local news. After biting the snake, the boy fainted. Somehow another still got pulled. I don't know. The kid just freaked out because everybody's running after him. He went to a healthcare center, which ironically is all American doctors shut. Yeah, that's how they roll there. They went to India and all their docs.

[Brady]

So their call center has all real.

[Toledo]

Kevin.

[John Holmberg]

All you hear when he drives him nuts, somebody from India always goes, I hit. I'd known in the doctors. I can't understand the thing they're saying. Hi, my name's Brian. I'm your doctor. Could you please at least try?

[Toledo]

I've got nothing.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what you're saying. Do I have the disease or not? We think you should just shower.

[Toledo]

Never.

[John Holmberg]

What? Shower. Shower. Are you never going to do such a thing, showering in India? Are you out of your mind bringing your western ideas to us? The boy's name, Gobind Kumar, referred here yesterday for primary healthcare, according to the village spokesperson. Always know you're in a good neighborhood when you got one of those. He was rushed by family members because he fainted after chewing on the live snake. He didn't just bite it, he started to eat it. This must be a tough village.

[Toledo]

Or it was a new toy.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. But the venom, when you bite a snake, they don't have to bite you. It's just like evidently they're poisonous all the way through when you just eat them raw. Because he had venom in his system. That's what they say.

[Toledo]

Interesting.

[John Holmberg]

So the treatment saved his life because.

[Brady]

You hear that disappointment.

[John Holmberg]

Venom's effects were reportedly mild, but they knocked him unconscious. For sure, it wouldn't have been fatal. His condition is currently stable. Maybe it's just because it's a baby. Like if you're eating raw. Well, it has nothing to do with raw meat. I eat raw meat. That's fine, you can eat us. But eating a snake raw? Evidently, if you're under £13, dangerous, a little too much of a dose. But the kid's condition is currently stable. Now, they didn't once, in this whole article interview any snake charmers who Are like, well, we're out of business. This is no longer scary. Like, they're. They're like, if I see a snake charmer now, I'm like, bring out the baby. I don't want to see. Yeah, I don't want to see an adult charming cobra's big whoop. Bring out the one.

[Brady]

Well, at his shows now, there'd be no babies a lot.

[John Holmberg]

No, that baby comes out and he just puts his little baby arms out. You've only got a year to do this. He's going to start growing, puts his little baby arms out, and everybody goes, oh. And then snakes. And he just grabs one and then he goes out cold. It's like, oh. He's like, Chris, angel of India. Yeah, it's got to be a thing. But he bit the baby.

[Toledo]

Did he say to the cobra, we've never met before, right.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know me, and I don't know. You're right. This is. This is the first time we've met. I am Punjab in hell. It bit the goddamn snake. Killed it dead. And it wasn't a snake. That was like a pet, which we all assume as Americans. Indians all have. It was a wild one. Got baskets. Yeah, they've got baskets of them. They can't stop. I mean, tell me, right? Close your eyes and think of Indian. Nope, not that one. The other one. And then immediately a basket shows up and a guy with one of those wooden flutes. And he's probably cartoon because you've never really actually experienced. I haven't either. The only time I talked to a doctor once who was working on my eyes years ago. You travel a lot? No, I don't like really traveling too much. Been a couple places. Where you been in Australia, Virgin Islands.

[Brady]

India.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You ever been to India? I'm like, no. I'm like, if you. And he goes, yeah, I just got back. I'm like, oh, how was it? Well, if you love poverty, it's the place for you. Like, that's all you see, just poverty everywhere. And then there's some beautiful stuff, but it's surrounded by poverty.

[Brady]

So it's the poverty tour you want.

[John Holmberg]

He loved. Well, he showed me. He. If you ever look at pictures of the Taj Mahal, it's amazing, but it's.

[Brady]

Always from a distance.

[John Holmberg]

Turn around.

[Toledo]

Go half block.

[John Holmberg]

No, turn around.

[Brady]

I'm going to street view it.

[John Holmberg]

Aim your picture at the Taj Mahal. Oh, turn around. Because right behind it is absolute nonsense. And it's surrounded by.

[Toledo]

I hear that result. The resorts too, in India Yeah. Right outside the.

[John Holmberg]

Just on top of each beautiful.

[Toledo]

And then you just.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, let's not, you know, be too crazy. Kentucky is that way. Yeah, Kentucky's gorgeous. And then you turn left and you're like, kentucky people. But evidently, like, everybody I've talked to said, oh, my God, that is a. What a majestic thing the Taj Mahal is. And then right and left of it, you're like, oh, my God, it's just vomit in the streets. India holds. I have no interest in it at all. It's. It looks crazy. It just looks nuts. The whole thing looks like it's just out of control chaos.

[Toledo]

Who's the comedian that says, I want to have you guys to Veer Das? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Who's like the most.

[Toledo]

You've got.

[John Holmberg]

You'll. You love it. Most famous guy in India, by the way. Like, the dude is a monster. He came over here to get famous too. And it's not working out as well as he'd hope, but it's. He's all right. But he goes back to India. He's like, you know, Justin Timberlake over there and he invited us to India. And I. I don't even know that I had a react. I was involuntary. My head just started shaking. No, I started that.

[Toledo]

I was like, no, you.

[John Holmberg]

You're too nice. You're too nice. Because you always are. Like, sure, accept it. People are asking you to go to Burning Man. I'm like, you have no interest in that. I think you would hate burning.

[Brady]

So to prove your point.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

This is the Taj Mahal at the top.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

See what Google street view won't do.

[John Holmberg]

The rest of it won't go anywhere near it.

[Brady]

The blue is where I can get Google.

[John Holmberg]

So the map is all blue around the Taj Mahal streets. And then just south of that is just.

[Brady]

That's as close as I can get.

[John Holmberg]

Horrible. And it looks awful. Yeah. Oh, there's dumpsters in the road. Why are there dumpsters right in the middle of the road? There are no cars.

[Toledo]

Fencing.

[Brady]

That's a tuk tuk.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is.

[Brady]

And that's construction fencing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for what? Well, for the videos that break building. The shower. Yuck.

[Brady]

There's a shower right there.

[John Holmberg]

Look at all the water. There's just puddles everywhere. What a dump. I love America. So I can call other countries dumps and not care, but.

[Brady]

Yeah, you're right. They won't let you see, they don't.

[John Holmberg]

Show you for about a 3 mile range. All the cars don't get. They probably can't get through because of all the. Those little weird motorcycles and people just standing around. It would take them years to get street views. Yeah, and that's what my doctor said. It's just.

[Brady]

Okay, you're right.

[John Holmberg]

It's poverty on one side and something okay on the other.

[Brady]

Even the stuff you can see that just looks crazy.

[John Holmberg]

So. Yeah, babies eat snakes in India.

[Brady]

Go ahead. People look up the Taj Mahal and try and get street view anywhere near.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta get some street view done around that. What city is it in?

[Brady]

Agra. Agra, India.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know why I asked. You know what city it's in for me? Google.com. the town of Google. India. Because I'm. That's the only time I'm going to India. Unless I'm knocked out by operatives. CIA operatives. And then they stuff me on a plane and fly me to India without me knowing it. Then I'll land in India and wake up there. That's the only time I'm going to India. There's no way. Did you catch that?

[Brady]

Okay, look at the screen. Here's what I'm doing. I'm. I'm scrolling. Guess. Guess what?

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady]

King King Food sees.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you saw a restaurant in the picture. I'm seeing Tasty King. Poverty, poverty, poverty.

[Brady]

I didn't notice a thing about that. I see.

[Toledo]

You gotta try.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Brady's looking at the taste burrito. It doesn't look so bad.

[Brady]

Barriers, mopeds, bicycles.

[John Holmberg]

Tasty King. That road doesn't look as bad, but I'm still not eating there.

[Toledo]

Yeah, you can't get to it. It's blocked off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can't. That's. That's a country. By the way, possible way.

[Brady]

That looks like a rest stop restroom.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it does. It looks like something you'd pull over and pee in real quick in Ohio and not be happy about it. Gross. Not. Not going over there. But now that I think. But again, that's a hell of a show I'd watch on. On YouTube. Baby eats snake. That's put your baby to the test today. You think your baby's put in a room with a cobra and then lock the door and see who comes out? No. No Indian. But look, we got to start toughening up these American kids to swim. Yeah, we've got rolling backpacks and helmets when they walk to school. These Indian kids are eating cobras. I don't want to hear it, man. I don't want to. Like you're. Put your baby in a room a one year Old in a room with a cobra. And just. And then when the kid starts doing this, the end. Got him. I got him. All right. We have one of those. Survival of the fittest. We're gonna lose a war to those people someday. One year olds are crunching on cobras. Your one year olds are afraid of remote controls. We got straps in the backs of television so your dumb one year old doesn't get smashed by a four pound tv.

[Brady]

And that anti tipping cartoon has gotten bigger.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Brady]

Hey, hey, pay attention to this.

[John Holmberg]

The kid's gonna yank this onto himself. You idiot American kid. Meanwhile, this was over. The baby ate the snake. Well, thank God for that baby or we would have all been bitten. It ate the snake and then dropped like a bad habit, like Green Mile dog tired boss. And then he just went right to sleep. John holmberg's morning sickness. The 98kupd holmberg's morning sickness. Loved every second of that. Then I, you know what I've been doing lately? This is fun. This is free time. Fun for Johnny. I've been checking out like these advice columns for women. I think they're funny. That's like a Dear Abby thing. But it has stepped up in a huge way. You know what we've done, gentlemen? Accidentally, in a huge way. I don't even remember what I saw this on. I'm paraphrasing all of it, but I read it yesterday.

[Brady]

Goop.

[John Holmberg]

We have over the years been sensitive as men to the size of our genitals. It's become a very big thing. Men with small penises.

[Brady]

Aware.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Are always worried that a woman thinks that his penis is little. Women always say a phrase that I don't think women realize and they roll.

[Brady]

Their eyes how digging it is.

[John Holmberg]

No, they say size doesn't matter unless it's too big or too small.

[Brady]

So it does.

[John Holmberg]

So size matters a lot. And you just have to fall into the right parameters. But we don't know what you know. So there's a self consciousness that has lived inside all men created by women. Because when a woman breaks up with a guy, a lot of the times you'll hear her start talking about his penis size as a thing that bothered her. Sometimes they don't. But when they want to be extra mean. And we've had it happen in this building. Just gonna bring it up with a guy who was very happy with a girl. They broke up and she started a website about his dick and included pictures way before.

[Brady]

8 page website that was segmented off.

[John Holmberg]

Way before the revenge porn thing. And now everybody. Like, I didn't see it as anything too terrible. But she was saying it was not. It was just couldn't satisfy anybody. Never got hard enough. All her whole argument to their relationship whittled down to it was all about his penis. And I hated it. Which I argue, why'd you stick around that long? You know, if you. If it was just so unsatisfactory, so deep down we've all had.

[Toledo]

Most of the time that happens when they can do that around people if they're staying in the same kind of community.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Toledo]

It's a spearing thing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Toledo]

Like I would know that. A woman that.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Toledo]

I didn't know.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Toledo]

Speaking. So those guys just didn't like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see. Yes. You're trying to get it to his friends and people who will. Who will think less of him. Yep. And tease him perhaps and make it his, you know, badge.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's been a mean thing that mean women have done to men, knowing that it is an insensitive spot or a very sensitive spot for a lot of guys. I'm off the rack. I know what I am. I fall somewhere into that green area whenever I'm the same. Was in high school when those tests came back and he's like, he's falling into the very average category. Okay, I'm fine with that. And sometimes I was either a little above or a little below, but it always went right back to the median. I am middleman. I'm that guy. I go to a store and I look at the mannequins and like, I'll take it. Like, we don't have your size. I'm like, it's the mannequin. It's on him. You have my size. I'm always that now. Under Armour came along and changed the game at Dick's and made their mannequins steroid riddled nightmares. I do not fit into their clothes. I have to actually go to the racks. But I look at this thing, I'm like, if they've got it on a mannequin, they've got my size. I'm average guy. I'm 100% across board, average guy. I'm reading these things where women are writing over the last few years and I think we had a little something to do with this. I saw like three different ones and it sparked this whole Reddit conversation about women being self conscious of their labia being too wibbly, wobbly. And the lady had to answer a bunch. She's like, look, I'm not wrong.

[Brady]

Flippity, floppy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Two.

[John Holmberg]

Flippity floppity. Yeah. Flippity floppity. Maybe that was Brady's thing when he was like, did you ask? We'll get to that in a second. But yeah. So they started to write like, I'm sensitive about the size of my vagina. That's never been a thing before. Women have never. We have. We have made it. We've turned the tables a little to where they're writing letters to, like, Cosmo and stuff and saying, hey, not real. And the one lady's quote was, I'm not real happy with what I'm packing in my panties. Yeah. Because that made me think, it's like a parachute. She's got to fold it and pack it. They're worried about it. They're concerned about it, and they should be. We have been held hostage by that area of a woman so long that our, our forefathers, our ancestors kept it quiet when it was awful. It was just a treat to get one. It was pizza. We didn't care what was on it. We're getting pizza. I'll pick off what I don't like or I'll ignore it.

[Toledo]

And there's different types of pizza, right?

[John Holmberg]

There's always different types of pizza. Some you love, some, but you're getting pizza either way. Pizza is always good. Sometimes it's a little less than what you want. Some people don't like certain toppings. But when there's a pizza in front of you as a man, you're like, I just appreciate that you're giving me pizza. I'll try it. I'll try. I don't like olives, but I'll pick those off. That's it. Vaginas were the same way. Vaginas were the same way. Somewhere along the lines, people started putting Alfredo sauce on pizza. Started doing other things, and they're like, well, this isn't pizza. Something wrong with that pizza. I don't appreciate that pizza. And we made it known. And now the same thing's happening with vaginas. We're not just happy to see one anymore. It has to be a good one. And the ladies are worried. The ladies are worried that it looks like a car wash down there. And damn it all, that's us. We did that. We've been self conscious of our stuff for years. And ladies have been walking around with these Chewbacca kills down there that looked like a gunshot to Chewbacca's head. Haven't had to worry about it 30, 40 years ago.

[Toledo]

It was hidden.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, completely. Well, 30, 40 years ago, a guy was just like, look, I'm not sure if that's normal or not. I haven't seen enough of these.

[Brady]

I think he means by pubes.

[John Holmberg]

You know who we can. Yeah. You know who we can thank for this? You know we can thank for this. Bray's gonna hate it. Once again, porn to the rescue.

[Brady]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

Porn has changed the male mind to go. There's good ones and bad ones. I didn't know that. I thought they're pretty much the same Playboy. Never had a dingly dangly Playboy. Kept it buttoned up. But you never knew if that was normal or not. They are brushed. Nope. Some of these chicks should be self conscious of it. And now we're on even playing fields with our genitals. Ladies, I've seen your letters to the editor. I've seen your letters to dear, help me. I don't like the phrase. I'm not pleased with what I'm packing in my panties. But now you know the pain of it all.

[Brady]

Here's what Gemini gave me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. A whole bunch of pictures. Looks like gum on a wall.

[Toledo]

Holy variety.

[Brady]

It does look like the gum wall.

[John Holmberg]

It's like the gum wall at Rhodes Junior High.

[Brady]

Nine different types.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've read this.

[Brady]

You've read this?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The Indians have different name for each one.

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Not those Indians, the ones from here.

[Toledo]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they have different names for each comic.

[Toledo]

There we go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is that the names of them?

[Brady]

No, they're just describing them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, pretty neat. But you know what they don't do in these drawings? Include the nightmare. The gunshot wound. But we've done it, boys. Proud of ourselves.

[Brady]

Well, they call it prominent outer lips.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what they call what we call it in layman's terms. Ugh, disgusting.

[Brady]

Number seven. You see what they call number seven?

[John Holmberg]

Long dangling outer lips. If your vagina can be described the same way earrings can be described. Oh, those are dangling and long.

[Toledo]

Number nine.

[John Holmberg]

Wrong with it.

[Toledo]

Number nine is the most common, the mainstream type. Small clothes seen on adult entertainment website.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Small closed one. That should be called preferred or platinum.

[Brady]

This study included 600 white women.

[John Holmberg]

What? They only went with the whites.

[Brady]

Ages between 18 and 84.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, 84. Who's volunteering grandma for that? I'll do it. I get it. You want to see my. You want to see my right now? I'll show it to you.

[Brady]

They measured the labia length, John.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. On average, 16 and a half inches. If you're over 80.

[Brady]

True story.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Now I'm not reading those. I don't want to know about that. I'm just saying I don't mind any types. And again, some are pretty, some aren't. But the word long and dangling is. You've got a problem on your hands. Oh, I see. There's more about signature scents. We're not getting into that. They're not writing about that. They've always been concerned. That's just a lady that should be concerned about hygiene. That's different.

[Brady]

Is this the article you read on Cycles.com?

[John Holmberg]

I got to. I got to find it. I got to dig around in my history here and find my old article about it. But it's. It basically was not real confident with what I got going down here. And do Men Really Care? And then. So the answer to it was, men don't really care as long as it's hygienic and isn't disturbing. So it's the same thing as size doesn't matter unless it's too big or too small. We're saying, oh, it doesn't matter unless it's disturbing. And it's very vague to say.

[Brady]

You're looking at the first one here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Take that off the screen. No, that one. No, I don't know what I'm looking at there. I've never seen it. Those are front butts. I don't know what that is. Turn that off.

[Brady]

This is on poosh.com.

[John Holmberg]

That'S gonna make me gay.

[Toledo]

Put that by Kourtney Kardashian.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, she's the one writing about it. I bet you that thing looks good either way. I felt a sense of pride that the ladies now have to keep that thing together. There's nothing you can do about it. It's genetic. You're given what you're given. Some have long danglies, some have small closed. If you're a small closed, congratulations. If you're a long dangly, you got some work to do. You better develop a personality because you can be hot and have a long dangly. And the second we see it, a lot of that personality stops mattering.

[Brady]

Well, there is no shortage of articles. Here's one from the Guardian. Viva lavolva. Why we need to talk about women's genital.

[John Holmberg]

Why we don't need to keep drawing it. What's wrong with them? Look at that. I remember I was sitting. I was sitting at Hillstone once, and I heard the lady at the table next to me talking about her most recent date. And I forget who I was with. And she said something, and she goes. And I told him. I'm like, okay, but I just barely hear. Then I'm like, who are you gonna please with that thing? And I'm like, oh, you broads. You've had us by those balls for a long. And I felt for my brother. I felt for my brother. I've never really had to worry about it. I don't care.

[Toledo]

You just wonder how many types you've been with, right?

[John Holmberg]

And. And I wonder how many times the.

[Toledo]

Nine varieties there that they're.

[John Holmberg]

I had a girl try it on me years ago, and then she came begging for more. Oh, that's all I needed. I never felt it anyway. I'm like, you're lying. You're just lashing out at me. You're fine.

[Brady]

I don't believe a thing you care.

[John Holmberg]

And then a month later, I need you back. I'm like, I thought. I thought you couldn't even feel me. I was just mad. Like, Steve. That's what you do, though. These mean ones will lash out and try to hit you in the, like, the most vulnerable place on your body. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. And it is funny if you've got a small penis. It's hilarious. Like, it's useless only to you. It's useless. It's completely useless. You should be angry. You're walking around mad for a reason. You should be mad. You got gypped, completely jipped. I felt for the guys when I used to cover the NBA that were 6ft 9 inches tall and had my penis on their body. And I'm like, that thing looks terrible on you. It's like wearing one of my shirts. It's just noticeably too small for you. Pathetic. I don't think Shaquille o' Neal has a very big one. You seen the women he's been with? They're midgets. He'd kill him if he was proportionate. Shaq's wife was like, 5:1. If that dude's in proportion, I don't think that's a good combination.

[Brady]

Maybe she was. She just looked 5:1.

[John Holmberg]

No, she was little. No. Yeah, she. No, trust me, she was little. It was shockingly small. Wow. Simone Biles is dating that football player, and she's like, four, eight. He's a professional. He plays for the Bears now. Tight end or Packer or something. One of the. I don't know what he plays. He's one of the. He's one. He's a Packer or Berry? He's one of both. He's switched. I don't know which team he's on now. If that dude's proportionate, he's gonna kill her. Crooked pot, crooked lid. But if you're tiny, it's tough.

[Brady]

Jonathan Owens.

[John Holmberg]

That's the guy. If you're gigantic, it's a badge of honor for a man to go, ah, she hated it. It was too big. It's like a wind sock. I look like I should be taking.

[Brady]

He's safety, so he's not too much bigger than her. But still, that's a pretty good size difference.

[John Holmberg]

If he's proportionate, his daughter looks good. He's a big dude. But I bet in her hands, no matter what. And she's a gymnast, so she's flexible. She got a little bit of different body. Anyway, I just want to point out, ladies, we're onto it. And I've seen your letters. I'm paying attention to you, and I see your letters and you're starting to get concerned about it. It's about time. And it's not pizza anymore. Our palates have changed. You can't just put it in front of us and go eat. Eat your slop. Whatever it is. You're just happy to have food. The male appetite for that is no longer Africa. It's now kind of advanced into the first world. And we're like, no, I don't want to eat that. I want something better. Same as you've always been. Great pride, Bertie. Great pride. And some dudes are into danglers. They're called perverts and weirdos. I never met a girl who's into little ones, though. I've never met a girl. No, that never happens. I never have tiny penis. Have you ever met.

[Brady]

Never seen anyone with a pencil.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right.

[Toledo]

The only time you hear is maybe I've heard the experience that, oh, I ran into one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure. But she's like, man, I come across one, I loved it. It was so small. Never ever said so. This whole lie about. It's like, oh, you never go into fascinations and see the Lil Tykes version. That's what I said. You don't go in there and go, you know, for the lady with a small appetite and these tiny little thumbs.

[Brady]

Doubles as a dildo.

[John Holmberg]

Right Thumb size, little guy. They don't sell those. They would not sell. Same way if they put one on a wall for the men. The one that looks like, you know, an octopus up against a wall. Versus just. Just a piece of. Just a piece of hub above him. Like an octopus has been. Like an octopus is under arrest and he's about to be frisked.

[Brady]

Everything's out.

[John Holmberg]

Everything's out. All right, pat him down. That's what I'm going to call him from the old octopus pat down. Anyway, just thought I'd point that out. I see it later. And don't be too sensitive. Let's just. You know what? Maybe you back off the men. We never really attack with this. But you're starting to feel the sensitivity. And that's porn's fault. Porn did it again.

[Toledo]

Pulled the curtain back.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says, I dated a girl once that her thing was like a horse's mouth. She was super self conscious about it. But luckily I have such a small penis that neither of us talked about our problems. Yeah, small penis guys need to find the horse's mouth. And by the way, that sounds nice. That velvety soft horse's nose.

[Toledo]

That doesn't sound too bad.

[John Holmberg]

Also want to say congratulations to our funniest and smallest listener, Scott Haynes. He did a testosterone check yesterday. I think Scott's like in his late 40s. Yeah, 1500.

[Brady]

What?

[Toledo]

Oh, geez, dude.

[John Holmberg]

Dude's a walking boner.

[Toledo]

Where'd he get it? At the dollar store?

[John Holmberg]

Where'd the test happen? At the little guys. We don't wanna. That's what I thought it was like. Little fell. Yeah. You're the most manly man in the land.

[Toledo]

A little high, my friend.

[John Holmberg]

I want to get my testosterone checked. And they just touch your arm. You're the highest we've ever seen. You're more man than anyone in the world now walk out of here as proud as can be. And then he marched his little 5 foot 2 inch ass out going, I'm a man today. 1500 in your late 40s. That sounds.

[Toledo]

That's not healthy.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you say that cause it's you. You're just jealous. That's an amazing number. He's a super healthy dude. He's a train. I mean, it's easy to lift weights that are play school and stuff. And get in this. Only has to push them 3 or 4 inches to do a bench press. But I mean, that's amazing. Sent me the lab results. Look at that. Like, I can't believe this. They circled it. Jesus Christ.

[Toledo]

That is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Everything was good. Guys in excellent condition and they break out the testosterone at 15. I didn't even know it went that high. It's all packed into that tiny little body of sky Good for you. What a shame about the rest of him. Like, he's got all that testosterone packed in that tiny little backpack of a human. It'd be like. It's like a midget with more testosterone in the world. What are you gonna do about it? So you want to fight all the time? You're gonna lose 90% of those. I'll take you down. You have no idea how much juice is inside me. All right, just flick him away. It'll disappear. Get out of here. It's pretty good, though. We'll check in with Brett in a little bit. He's out at safeway. Ray and McQueen this morning.

[Brady]

By the way, Saya.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Boys have texted in. They're in again.

[John Holmberg]

They're in today. God, you guys are the best. Thank you.

[Brady]

We were planning on it. Not because you asked. We had already planned on it.

[John Holmberg]

They've been. They've been amazing. That has been absolutely unreal. What? They've dropped off week in, week out, and I don't know who's collecting down there, but thank you. Yeah.

[Brady]

Where do you just roll up and get it in the morning? What do you do?

[John Holmberg]

They'll drop it off again today. They're the best. They've really helped us go over the tide. They've dropped a lot off, but Brett's come back every week with that truck full and then some. So it's been everybody. Everywhere we go. It has. There has not been a light stop the whole time. Let's Hope Ray and McQueen are the same. That's where Brett is this morning at safeway. Ray and McQueen. Operation Hydration is cruising into August way ahead of schedule. Trying to go over a million bottles today. That was our goal for September, right? Oh, I think we're gonna. I think if we get it today, we can get that million. That's awesome. Brett's got Chevelle in a Day to Remember tickets, and he's rocking it out there. It's time for the wake up song brought to you by our friends over at Action ride Shop. You get your bike all ready to go watch the night riding last night. A whole pack of guys with their lights. That's the way I'm talking right now. Night rides are the best. This morning coming in, saw a couple of dudes hitting the trails right there. I took the surface streets in 48 street right there. Boom. They're coming down that on their bikes, hitting it. It's beautiful. If people say it's too hot here, but if you get up early enough, which I know is Dumb. Or you stay up late enough like I do, you can ride around at night. The weather's perfect, the roads are yours. So get your bike tuned up, get out there and you can stay in shape that away and still get your rides in those night rides on the trails you haven't lived, you haven't seen Arizona properly until you've gotten on a bike or a hiking trail with lights at night. It's a different world, the desert at night. And they'll sell those lights. The lights are incredible. They got the bikes, they got the lights, they got everything you need to fix up your bike. They got the best bike mechanics you can imagine. And they got two stores right there in Gilbert off the 60 at the OG or you can go out to McDowell and power and check out their brand new spot action ride shop. What do you got on the big board of treats there, Toledo?

[Brady]

Sorry, Brady, but a couple of requests for winger 17.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's it. It's done when you're 17 for Kirby's birthday.

[Brady]

All right, I won't go on.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it. I love this audience so much. We should leave and do something together, all of us. 17 by winger. That's glorious. Did you ever think you'd have a 17 year old daughter Brady in your life? Did you ever think, wow, I'll have this girl who's about to graduate from high. It's just mind blowing, isn't it?

[Toledo]

I. Well, to be safe, I never thought about even having a daughter at certain ages.

[John Holmberg]

But even, even when she was 5, you're like, it's going to be forever before she's forever. And there it is sitting right in front of you.

[Toledo]

It happened in 24 hours, it seems.

[John Holmberg]

Like, even to me. And I'm outside of it. I haven't spent every but 17. Remember as a kid how long it felt like 17 took? Oh, yeah, forever to get to 17 years old. My gosh, there she is, 17. Soon she'll be at your grave with her granddaughter and talking about all this time that's passed. We love you, Brady. That's what you'll say. I'm proud of you for sticking around the whole time too. Unlike Toledo's dad. Toledo's dad didn't do anything.

[Brady]

Yeah, you'd have loved your grandfather. He was really into food.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo's dad's like, did you ever imagine having a son? Ever imagine having a son who's 17 and his dad's like, nope. And he didn't. He never couldn't imagine. He had a couple of them, ran one over by the bus.

[Toledo]

Three of them.

[Brady]

Ran one over with a bus. Yeah, three others.

[Toledo]

Three other boys.

[John Holmberg]

So he's done a lot of good work here, Brady. Well done. Just one more year of keeping her alive, and then she's on her own. You don't have to worry about another thing. That's it. You're still on the hook for 12 more months of her breathing earth's air and making sure she's okay. After that, whatever she does, state's problem. Sure, you'll have emotion about it. You'll be sad if it happens, but at least you're not responsible for it anymore. Also, if she starts committing crimes, you're off the hook again. You did your job, my friend.

[Toledo]

Oh, I don't get blamed for it.

[John Holmberg]

Not after 18. One more year. Oh, I'll blame you for raising a bad daughter.

[Brady]

Yeah, unless you're harboring her still in your house.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. She's 18. Starts committing crimes, she's tried as an adult. They're not bringing the parents in unless. Yes, they covered it up. If she just living there, that's nothing. So one more year. Fingers crossed that she just stays on the straight and narrow lives the whole time without doing anything stupid. You can't get sued anymore. That's got to be a glorious feeling as a father. 18 years. That's why dads are so happy when. When their boys turn 18. I can't get sued for this jackasses behavior anymore. Great stuff. Great stuff. And what a song. You ready? Yeah. This is for you, Kirby.

[Brady]

Keep your headphones on.

[John Holmberg]

Happy birthday, Kirby Derbs. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station up day.