07-31-25 - Nick Murphy - Stand Up Live - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona | Episode: July 31, 2025 | Guest: Nick Murphy

Published on July 31, 2025

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Introduction

In the July 31, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg welcomes stand-up comedian Nick Murphy for an engaging in-studio conversation. The episode delves into Nick's experiences in the comedy scene, his interactions with audiences, handling sensitive topics, and his perspectives on modern technology and sports.

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Stand-Up Comedy Career

John Holmberg kicks off the discussion by highlighting Nick Murphy's active presence in the Arizona comedy circuit. Nick shares his involvement with Stand Up Live and performances at venues like the Desert Ridge Improv, emphasizing his commitment to entertaining audiences in Tempe and across the state.

• Nick Murphy [02:18]: "I'm at Stand Up Live tonight and tomorrow, and then you're off and run."

He discusses the evolving landscape of comedy, noting the shift from traditional hubs like New York and Los Angeles to cities like Austin, where he's also performing at the Mothership venue.

• John Holmberg [02:07]: "That's a great phrase. Nick Murphy is at Stand Up Live tonight and tomorrow, and then you're off and run."

---

Memorable Performance Incidents

Nick recounts a particularly intense experience during one of his performances where his jokes on sensitive topics led to a confrontational reaction from an audience member. This incident underscores the fine line comedians often navigate when addressing controversial subjects.

• Nick Murphy [10:16]: "A guy did try to fight me one time with the gay jokes."

• John Holmberg [10:25]: "Oh, no kidding."

Nick details the altercation, describing how the situation escalated but ultimately concluded amicably, highlighting the unpredictable nature of live comedy.

• Nick Murphy [11:33]: "And that's where I got herpes."

---

Handling Sensitive Topics in Comedy

The conversation delves into how Nick approaches sensitive issues like abortion and STDs in his routines. He shares his strategy of addressing these topics with humor while maintaining respect, ensuring his jokes resonate without crossing lines.

• Nick Murphy [05:00]: "She didn't want me to pay, you know, she paid for it."

• John Holmberg [05:07]: "That's a beautiful statement. Are you dating anybody? Are you a married guy?"

Nick emphasizes the importance of authenticity and personal experience in crafting relatable and impactful comedy.

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Tipping Culture and Charities

John and Nick explore the modern tipping culture, discussing the challenges and frustrations associated with mandatory tips in various service industries. They debate the effectiveness and fairness of tipping systems, sharing personal anecdotes and opinions.

• John Holmberg [14:13]: "I call it terrorism. It's charity terror."

• Nick Murphy [15:00]: "They know, like, the billboard's gonna light up."

The duo scrutinizes automated tipping systems and the pressure they place on consumers, highlighting a growing sentiment against compulsory gratuities.

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Technology and AI in Comedy Promotion

Nick introduces his innovative use of artificial intelligence in his promotional efforts, specifically mentioning the creation of AI-generated personas like Peyton Manning to enhance his marketing strategies. He discusses the blend of humor and technology in expanding his comedic reach.

• Nick Murphy [16:18]: "I'm embracing it. I've been using artificial intelligence. Peyton Manning in a lot of my promo videos."

• John Holmberg [17:50]: "It would be great to just call Peyton Manning, give him whatever he asked for, and take him over to mom and Dad's."

This segment underscores the intersection of comedy and digital advancements, showcasing how comedians leverage AI for creative promotion.

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Sports and Personal Interests

The conversation shifts to sports, with both John and Nick sharing their passion for football. They discuss team loyalties, the emotional rollercoaster of supporting local teams like the Atlanta Falcons, and the broader impact of sports on personal well-being.

• John Holmberg [17:56]: "Are you excited about football? You're a football guy."

• Nick Murphy [18:03]: "You don't have to be loyal to Atlanta."

Nick candidly talks about his flexible approach to team support, valuing personal happiness over unwavering allegiance.

• Nick Murphy [18:14]: "I wouldn't say pointless. But it's pointless to get to it because they just break your heart."

---

Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Nick Murphy offers words of encouragement to aspiring comedians and listeners alike. He emphasizes the importance of self-expression and authenticity, urging individuals to share their unique voices without fear of judgment.

• Nick Murphy [21:39]: "Nobody cares as much as you do. This is what I've been telling people. It doesn't matter. Post your thing."

John Holmberg wraps up the episode by promoting Nick's upcoming shows at Stand Up Live, encouraging listeners to attend and support local comedy talents.

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Notable Quotes

• Nick Murphy [05:00]: "She didn't want me to pay, you know, she paid for it."

• John Holmberg [14:13]: "I call it terrorism. It's charity terror."

• Nick Murphy [16:18]: "I'm embracing it. I've been using artificial intelligence. Peyton Manning in a lot of my promo videos."

• Nick Murphy [21:39]: "Nobody cares as much as you do. This is what I've been telling people. It doesn't matter. Post your thing."

---

Final Thoughts

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a candid look into the life of a contemporary stand-up comedian navigating the challenges of the modern entertainment landscape. Through humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions, Nick Murphy provides listeners with both laughter and insights into the evolving world of comedy, technology, and personal passions.

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Tune in or visit 98KUPD to catch more episodes of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought.

[Larry McFeely]

To you by MMP Guns.com, your most.

[John Holmberg]

Trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Larry McFeely]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week downtown at Standup Live. Justin Willman and Nick Murphy will entertain you in Tempe at the Improv. You have comedy vet Flip Orly doing his thing, and then he'll also be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv on the north end of town along with up and coming comedian Amir K. For the complete lineups and for take tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com come on down to the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal. Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.

[Wayne]

Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde, and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road.

[Nick Murphy]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely with Wayne from Amco. And Wayne, now that it's getting hot out, I turned on the AC in my car and I'm not so sure that it's cool. Uh, oh, well, the air's blowing kind of cool, but it sort of smells a little bit funky.

[Amco Representative]

Larry, your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smells. You know, it takes about an hour, and in most cases, we can do.

[Nick Murphy]

It while you wait.

[Amco Representative]

We also have an online coupon for 25 bucks off.

[Nick Murphy]

Ooh, that's awesome.

I'll say.

[Amco Representative]

We're Amco.

[Nick Murphy]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and.

[John Holmberg]

A whole lot more.

[Nick Murphy]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Nobody.

[John Holmberg]

This whole thing.

[Nick Murphy]

Nobody. Guys, where are your interns, man? Let's get this going.

[John Holmberg]

You're too big to pull your own mic down, man. That's how good it's gotten for Nick.

[Nick Murphy]

Mer, I'm too big to notice my microphone. That's what it was.

[John Holmberg]

You're so well known, you don't even need to have your voice amplified.

[Nick Murphy]

I'm waiting on my guy to put the microphone in my face.

[John Holmberg]

Why is this not in my face? That's. That's a great phrase. Nick Murphy is at Stand Up Live tonight and tomorrow, and then you're off and run. We were just talking about y'. All. You're tied in down there in Austin at the Mothership.

[Nick Murphy]

Yeah, a little bit. The guys out there. But, yeah, I've gotten to do some shows out there, so we're gonna go there right after this.

[John Holmberg]

And you're loving that place.

[Nick Murphy]

Oh, it's the best.

[John Holmberg]

It's. And. And how did you get all. Just go there as. Because it's. It's a weird thing now that comedy kind of, like, has, like, you said, off the air. New York, L.A. used to be like, you have to go there now it's Austin.

[Nick Murphy]

Yeah, man. It's a big, big old spotlight over there.

[John Holmberg]

So.

[Nick Murphy]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So, like, when you're sitting in your hometown. Where are you from?

[Nick Murphy]

I'm from Atlanta.

[John Holmberg]

Atlanta, Georgia. I'll talk slower. When you go to. When you go to Austin, was that first, like, okay, that's the one I'm gonna knock out. Like, I'm in la, I'm in New York.

[Nick Murphy]

No, no, I just want. I wanted to check it out. I mean, you see all the clips going, and, you know, Rogan's out there, and you see all these guys. And so, you know, I wanted to go see it and obviously, a little more my taste, if you want to say that. I mean, as soon as I came back to Atlanta, everybody's like, what'd you do, Call everybody gay for an hour? Yes, a little bit. But actually, I found that, you know, if most of the lineups already doing that, then if I do that at the end, then it's sort of redundant.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Nick Murphy]

But call them something else.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

Well, come up with new words.

[John Holmberg]

Like, what else do you get now?

[Nick Murphy]

Brought back some old ones. Yeah. That are no longer in the rotation, except in the Mothership. Small room.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The HOF Mothership.

[Nick Murphy]

What's that?

[Unknown Comedian]

How did that work out?

[Nick Murphy]

Oh, who contacted it? So I had a couple of vouchers just because I know some people that have worked there or have done the festival in Austin, and so they knew the booker got me a sort of an audition, a tryout spot, and those went well.

[John Holmberg]

So.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah. So it's just.

[John Holmberg]

That's taken off, which is so cool.

[Nick Murphy]

Yeah, it's very cool. I really like going out there. And again, I'm not one of the, you know, head honchos out there, but they give me some spots when I. When I pass through 10 along the way.

[John Holmberg]

And you've been on Kill Tony?

[Nick Murphy]

I have not been on.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't been on Kill Tony?

[Nick Murphy]

No, that's not happening. Well, hey, man, I know Tony's listening right now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's on right now. He's in the back room. We keep him here. He's up every morning.

[Nick Murphy]

One of the king of podcasters listening to the radio. Yes. It happens.

[John Holmberg]

It's weird. Yeah. Tony come in here a lot before Tony did what he does.

[Nick Murphy]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he's always just so fun. Like, just the second he comes in a room, it's a different room.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He's just one of those energies present.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it's one of those things, you see, you're like, I'm so happy that he just blew up this way.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hey.

[John Holmberg]

Although didn't expect it. And he almost caved in.

[Nick Murphy]

Well, that was a fun roller coaster ride to watch as well.

[John Holmberg]

What's your closest moment?

[Nick Murphy]

Oh, to the Caven.

[John Holmberg]

Like, what's the moment like? Oh, geez, I didn't see that.

[Nick Murphy]

Well, we'll see if we can find it.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do it right now. I'm all in. Yeah, let's go. What do you think of abortion?

[Nick Murphy]

What do I think of abortion? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Before it or against it?

[Nick Murphy]

I had. I got one done right before the show.

[John Holmberg]

Such a great technology.

[Nick Murphy]

She didn't want me to pay, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, she paid for it.

[Nick Murphy]

I'm telling you, man.

[John Holmberg]

What a progressive lady.

[Nick Murphy]

I don't get my own microphone. I don't get my own abortion. This is how I operate.

[John Holmberg]

You make sure she's got her own funding.

[Nick Murphy]

She was supposed to put the microphone in my face. I guess she's still on the operating table.

[John Holmberg]

You know what that makes you? A feminist. Yeah. You let her stand on her own two feet.

[Nick Murphy]

Well.

[John Holmberg]

And lay down for the abortion, yes. But on her own two feet.

[Unknown Comedian]

No.

[Nick Murphy]

You got to stand up for that, too.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly what you pay for it.

[Nick Murphy]

Glass ceiling here, man.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. We're tired of paying for those. You stand on your own two feet, ladies. Don't let a man support you all the time.

[Nick Murphy]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

That's a beautiful statement. Are you dating anybody? Are you a married guy?

[Nick Murphy]

I'm a single guy, man. Yeah, single guy. Just out here killing it.

[John Holmberg]

You're worried about STDs or anything?

[Nick Murphy]

No, I think they're it's too hot out here for that.

[John Holmberg]

They don't survive in the heat.

[Nick Murphy]

They get burned out.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

Sunburn them off.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know what?

[Unknown Comedian]

That.

[John Holmberg]

I never thought of that it might be true because it happens. Like, people use that back acne.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they would go out in the sun. It would burn it off. I wonder if that's same awards.

[Nick Murphy]

Well, there's only one way to farm RFK Jr is that what that is?

[John Holmberg]

I think you are. I think you're the next one.

[Nick Murphy]

By showtime, I'm gonna be sounding like, yeah, that's not a good sign.

[Unknown Comedian]

We don't want that to be true, though, that more people move out here.

[John Holmberg]

Well, more people with warts move out here. That's the weird. Yeah, I don't want that.

[Nick Murphy]

Because they want the cure.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. The lay in the sun.

[Nick Murphy]

It's your fault.

[John Holmberg]

It's your fault. You started this. I just agreed with you.

[Nick Murphy]

I just said the abortion stuff. Let's not get into it, okay?

[John Holmberg]

I might have brought the warts into the party.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But you did say it was too hot for him, so.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. It would be. Yeah. You have any STDs? I might. I'm not hitting a nerve or anything.

[Nick Murphy]

What if I just did? What if we just laid all that out?

[John Holmberg]

Let's do it. Are you okay?

[Nick Murphy]

I'm single. I have hpv. We just found the chlamydia as well. That's why I'm doing two shows. That's why I'm doing two shows. We're taking care of both.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you ever have anybody tell you that? Any girl that, like, warned you before?

[Nick Murphy]

No, but I have wondered about that because then what's the move?

[John Holmberg]

You know, he just left years and years ago.

[Unknown Comedian]

I didn't leave.

[John Holmberg]

He cuddled with her and he wouldn't finish.

[Nick Murphy]

Did you, Irish. Did you even say goodbye?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. No, No, I said, goodby down. And the weekend.

[Nick Murphy]

He popped one. And he goes, oh, yeah, that's the real stuff.

[John Holmberg]

That's the real.

[Nick Murphy]

It was a weekend get together.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

It was your rekindling.

[Nick Murphy]

Okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then. But it'd been a couple of years. And she said, before we go, that's further, I want to let you know.

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

What was it? What was the. Can you say her full name and address?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

It was cool on the radio.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

Was it not hpv. But it was basically.

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She had the warts, right? Yeah, yeah, that's.

[Nick Murphy]

She did have wars.

[John Holmberg]

She had the war.

[Unknown Comedian]

No, she didn't have anything.

[John Holmberg]

You know, he's basically saying he's clean. He's worried now.

[Nick Murphy]

I don't think he's okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

You just got to be careful when it, like, it flares up.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't an out.

[Nick Murphy]

That sounds like herpes or something. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she had herpes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

And you can take a lot of stuff for that now, too.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not afraid of herpes.

[Unknown Comedian]

She got married as a kid.

[John Holmberg]

Two kids.

[Nick Murphy]

She's still lovable, guys.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Let's not forget she's fun to talk to.

[Nick Murphy]

She has a husband who just found out she has herpes, probably. If he's listening.

[Unknown Comedian]

Junior's 17 years old right now.

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He's missing a couple hands, and he looks a little like an oak tree, but it's okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, it's. Maybe.

[Nick Murphy]

Maybe the husband would be less mad that she has herpes and he's found out she slept with Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she didn't sleep with Brady.

[Nick Murphy]

She's like, we just cuddled. Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The worst thing is that the husband followed through and it wasn't good enough for Brady. That's the real disappointment, is that he turned his wife down.

[Nick Murphy]

Oh, no.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it had to be rough because, like, you guys were rolling around pretty good, and she breaks out the news. You're like, we're done here.

[Unknown Comedian]

How about this?

[Nick Murphy]

How bad would this be?

[Unknown Comedian]

Not intentionally, but I just lost direction.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Yeah, I understand.

[Nick Murphy]

If you did just do the cuddle and then you still got herpes, wouldn't that suck? If you were like, man, then I didn't even get my money.

[Unknown Comedian]

Why not? Why exactly.

[John Holmberg]

She was that infested.

[Nick Murphy]

I rolled over to something.

[Unknown Comedian]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Cuddle. Herpes.

[Nick Murphy]

We were trying to cuddle. Adorable. Is that a thing?

[John Holmberg]

I think it might be. Now, that is an adorable std.

[Unknown Comedian]

Why would it turn on me?

Yeah.

I was being so nice to it.

[John Holmberg]

Like a little Care Bears.

[Nick Murphy]

That's your joker origin story? If you get herpes just from cuddling, that's. That's how you go to the dark side right there.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

That's INEL Central. That's a manifesto waiting to happen.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Nick Murphy's at Standup Live tonight and tomorrow.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

As we've covered it, you're clear of STDs.

[Nick Murphy]

Clear of STDs.

[John Holmberg]

What else?

[Nick Murphy]

We sit in the front row.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's not like a Gallagher show of STDs. They're not just going to go popping.

[Nick Murphy]

Your blisters and it expl. That's pretty gross, John. That's way to put that in the audience's head. Well, you're.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, but bring the Visqueen and.

[Unknown Comedian]

It won't touch you.

[Nick Murphy]

I was going to say I would do it with a hammer.

[John Holmberg]

Hammer.

[Nick Murphy]

If that's. What if they want to see that? I would still use the Gallagher hammer to smash my.

[John Holmberg]

I would go to that show in a second. He's gonna smash. His words. The jokes are, okay, wait till the end.

[Unknown Comedian]

Does 20 minutes on whiteheads.

[Nick Murphy]

It wasn't that good of a show. He wasn't in the middle of an outbreak. We had to wait.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We had to stand there and hope. Saw the old scars. Big deal.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're not dating anybody. You're going around the country just hosing as many. Clean.

[Nick Murphy]

Hosing as many people as I can. That's what it's all about.

[John Holmberg]

Calling people gay.

[Nick Murphy]

Calling people living the American dream.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's what a lot of people are talking about.

[Nick Murphy]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

Well, it's not hard, guys. This isn't a hard American dream.

[John Holmberg]

Why. Why are people humping it so hard out there on rooftops and in the sun and everything else when they could just be doing what you're doing?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just. Just running around just free and easy.

[Nick Murphy]

You asked me the closest I got to win it. I don't think I'm big enough to be canceled. But a guy. A guy did try to fight me one time with the. The gay jokes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no kidding.

[Nick Murphy]

He was pretty big. Pretty muscular.

[John Holmberg]

A big homosexual.

[Nick Murphy]

Well, here's where we got into trouble, John, because I was starting to imply these things about him and his buddy. Well, then he stands up at his table.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

And he starts, like, doing the bull heels into the ground. You know, he's kicking the ground behind.

[Unknown Comedian]

Him, but then he's gonna ram you.

[Nick Murphy]

Like he's gonna charge me.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

But then he starts licking his lips.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh.

[Nick Murphy]

And at that point then I said, I can't tell if you're trying to fight me or blow me or.

[John Holmberg]

Or sleep with her.

[Nick Murphy]

I'd use the F word. I don't know if we can say that.

[John Holmberg]

You can't say that, but yeah, I get you.

[Nick Murphy]

Well, then he gets really angry, if you can imagine that. And his buddy had to sort of bear wrestle him back into. It was pretty gay how they rescued each other from fighting. It seemed like they'd done this before. Well, here's the craziest part. By the end of the night, it turned out he just had a bad day. And I just. You Know hit the wrong nerve, right? But we were. We were buddies by the end of the night. He was a bodybuilder. He's showing me pictures of him in the 80s in a Speedo at the end of the show, which also gayer.

[Unknown Comedian]

It got gayer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

And that's where I got herpes.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly how you get that. You snuggled.

[Nick Murphy]

Yeah. It was just a snuggle. That's it. He spotted me.

[John Holmberg]

John Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Unknown Comedian]

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[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Nick Murphy]

It is weird, though.

[John Holmberg]

Like, I've never seen anybody, like, almost fight and do the bull.

[Nick Murphy]

It was crazy.

[Unknown Comedian]

That is.

[John Holmberg]

And it was in the club.

[Nick Murphy]

You're almost in the club. It was like a rotary trying to be funny.

[Unknown Comedian]

That was like.

[Nick Murphy]

No, he was ready to fight.

[John Holmberg]

How many people were in the audience?

[Nick Murphy]

Over a hundred. I mean, 150 maybe.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he gets up. He's done with you.

[Nick Murphy]

He was done with me.

[John Holmberg]

And he starts gonna charge you or. Or bang you.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you were on stage. Like, could you have taken him either way?

[Nick Murphy]

Well, I don't know, man. This guy's pretty muscular. Yeah, he was short, so I had the high ground.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Nick Murphy]

But they're low to the ground.

[John Holmberg]

That's a tougher fight.

[Nick Murphy]

Yeah, it's. It's center of gravity thing. I'm in better shape now too. I was. I was getting fat back then. No, I probably would have lost.

[John Holmberg]

You think he'd have gotten you in both cases. God knows what happens after he pins you.

[Unknown Comedian]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

This fight gets ugly fast.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then it just becomes all pleasure for him.

[Nick Murphy]

And then I still have to finish the show.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't even done your end yet.

[Nick Murphy]

I start smashing my horse, I'm going to this show.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You fight people in the crowd. You're squirting stuff on them.

[Nick Murphy]

Come on, guys.

[John Holmberg]

What's the most tender thing about you, Nick Murphy?

[Nick Murphy]

The most tender thing about what?

[John Holmberg]

Is something about you that's like the.

[Unknown Comedian]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

What would people say? Oh, he's like a teddy bear.

[Nick Murphy]

Ah, man, I don't know. I. I donate sometimes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Do you.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have a favorite charity?

[Nick Murphy]

No, I just hit the button at CVS.

[John Holmberg]

$5 to whatever you want to get around up.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you round up sometimes?

[Nick Murphy]

Well, I think that's. That's the button, right?

[John Holmberg]

I don't do it.

[Nick Murphy]

You don't?

[John Holmberg]

I call it terrorism.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's charity terror.

[Nick Murphy]

Well, that's the new. What I don't like is the tipping thing that. The spin the screen around, and then you gotta give them 12 extra dollars because they gave you.

[Unknown Comedian]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

I was in Vegas this weekend, and they have a kiosk at the thing at the Aria for the big food place, and you order your own food, and then one of the things starts at 18%, 20 or 25. Doing everything.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

You did the whole thing.

[John Holmberg]

I'm literally. No one help helped me.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And what am I giving the cooks the money? I don't understand. Like, no one served me.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

It's not going to sick children.

[John Holmberg]

But then there's one that just says, no.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I hit it and it went back to the home screen.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

My whole order was gone. And I'm like, I think you have to tip.

[Nick Murphy]

They're like, thanks a lot, John.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, thanks.

[Nick Murphy]

You get my name and then the order.

[John Holmberg]

John, your order's ready. I'm like, oh, boy. That's just filled with.

[Nick Murphy]

At exactly $12 sometimes on the screen.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

They know, like, the billboard's gonna light up.

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's terrorism, man.

[Nick Murphy]

I get with food, I always don't want to because they're gonna spit in it. Right. If I don't. If I hit zero. Now they're rubbing it on their warts before they give it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Do they see it on the ticket? They're gonna hammer this food.

[John Holmberg]

And it's got to be like. Yeah. A separate section of no tip orders that come through. So they know when to dip it into there.

[Nick Murphy]

But it's starting to get crazy on Twitter. I'll see people go, why are we still doing this? Yeah, I don't wanna. I don't want to do the tip.

[John Holmberg]

Carry Out Carry out's a tough one because it's a 10 percenter. You gotta give them something.

[Nick Murphy]

Well, that's if they're delivering. But if you like. If you go get it.

[John Holmberg]

If I go get it.

[Nick Murphy]

But they want the tip, too. They want the tips.

[John Holmberg]

We're a tip crazy nation.

[Nick Murphy]

I don't like it in Ubers. Ubers are crazy now because they're so expensive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we have Waymo here. If you've been in a Waymo.

[Nick Murphy]

I have not been in a Waymo ride in Waymo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Like a third of the price.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't tip anybody.

[Nick Murphy]

You don't have nobody there to talk to anybody. Nobody's there.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's there.

[Nick Murphy]

They're very realistic. I saw a lady in the passenger seat. She was bobbing her head up and down. Oh, my God. But there's nobody there.

[Unknown Comedian]

It was her favorite.

[John Holmberg]

It.

[Nick Murphy]

They're getting realistic. Yeah, they have now. It's crazy.

[John Holmberg]

That's an amazing, real automated ride.

[Nick Murphy]

I guess she didn't have enough money, so.

[John Holmberg]

AI scare you at all?

[Nick Murphy]

No, man, not at all.

[John Holmberg]

Are you embracing it?

[Nick Murphy]

I'm embracing it. Oh, yeah. I've been doing. I've been using artificial intelligence. Peyton Manning in a lot of my promo videos.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

You can make them say anything. Yeah, it's very funny. And here's the craziest part, because I'm. I'm 33, so, like, I'm. I thought it was pretty clear that it was fake.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

My mother comes up to me and she's like, so, did Peyton Manning reach out to you? Did you reach out to Peyton Manning? I'm like, why would you think Peyton Manning would agree? I mean, did you see what I had him say? It's like I have him telling a story about how he got drunk and naked and threw his super bowl ring at the housekeeper, and now he can't find it. Not the ring, the housekeeper. Like, it's gone, you know? He's like, please help.

[John Holmberg]

And your mom's in on it.

[Nick Murphy]

And my mom thought that was really Peyton Manning.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, society's way too stupid.

[Unknown Comedian]

What does that cost you?

[Nick Murphy]

So here. Here's the craziest part. So my dad, he's. He's qanon. I don't know if I don't want to get into all that.

[John Holmberg]

That's all right.

[Nick Murphy]

But you can watch it in my. My half hour. But he's. I thought his thing was, like, memes. They couldn't handle the memes falling forth. They couldn't tell what was fake. So now they think we got to go to the White House on January 6th. You know, we gotta save the country. That's like 13 guys in a parking lot getting hammered, you know? Well, I had this long conversation with him finally, like, a serious one about life and all these things. And then at the end, he goes, so, did Peyton Manning reach out to you, or did you reach out to Peyton Manning? I'm like, how is none of you guys getting this? Man, this is nuts.

[John Holmberg]

It would be great to just call Peyton Manning, give him whatever he asked for, and take him over to mom and Dad's and have him explain it to them that it's not real, and get real inception with this.

[Nick Murphy]

Yeah. They get remarried. He would get my parents back together. Peyton Manning saving the marriage.

[John Holmberg]

Are you excited about football? You're a football guy.

[Nick Murphy]

I am a football guy, but the Falcons are so stuck in the mud, it's like, I don't know. You know, there's other teams.

[John Holmberg]

You can just ditch it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have to be loyal to Atlanta.

[Nick Murphy]

And I appreciate you saying that, because I'm not a. I am okay with bandwagoning in the right situation.

[John Holmberg]

If you don't have something.

[Nick Murphy]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Then you got to jump on something.

[Nick Murphy]

I'm not one of those guys that wants to be hardcore, like, oh, you weren't there from the beginning. Right. It's like, well, I don't care. I don't want to die in my 40s because I'm so stressed out every season.

[John Holmberg]

I have been a Steeler fan since I'm a little kid. So it's.

[Nick Murphy]

You guys had a great run.

[Unknown Comedian]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And we're still fine. It's not like an embarrassing team, but I'm with you. If you didn't have a team.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not jumping on the jets bandwagon. Of course I'm picking who I think is going to win a Super Bowl.

[Nick Murphy]

I don't be a Jets bandwagon.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Well, you'd be the only one. The jets rickshaw, I guess, is what we'd be shooting for, but, yeah, I mean, it's.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Pick something good. Get out of Atlanta, though. What are you doing?

[Nick Murphy]

Well, here's the deal. We did, like, we make it last, so we got a World Series 20, 21.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

That's going to ride for us for 50 years.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We're good.

[Nick Murphy]

We're good for a little while, but.

[John Holmberg]

Even on the Falcon and you got Georgia and then there's UGA as well. That's what they went back to World.

[Unknown Comedian]

Cup action next year.

[Nick Murphy]

Oh, man. That's going to be. We're going to be getting hammered and not knowing what Portugal is.

[John Holmberg]

Awesome. That's all you need to scream. All you need to do. Yeah. Being a fan of Atlanta is a point that's pointless. You're right. Tires in the mud.

[Nick Murphy]

I wouldn't say pointless. But it's pointless to get to it because they just break your heart.

[John Holmberg]

It's pointless to be emotional about the Atlanta Falcons.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

Emotional is the perfect word. You have to be sort of a. Just chill. Because, like, I was at the Home Run Derby.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh.

[Nick Murphy]

And that was. That was All Star Game. Was. With us, Matt Olson. I mean, listen, we love you, pal, but good Lord. One, he didn't get out of the first round.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

And there was a. It was a rock home. Here's the deal. You can feel how the stadium was rocking because he hit, like, seven in a row. And you think he's gonna do it. That's what it is. We think they're gonna do it. And he. And he blew it.

[Unknown Comedian]

And he didn't get out of the.

[John Holmberg]

First round in Atlanta.

[Nick Murphy]

Then we had to watch the Mariners take over the stadium.

[John Holmberg]

The big dump.

[Nick Murphy]

Savage.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That fat pig knocking home runs.

[Nick Murphy]

I mean, it was pretty cool.

[John Holmberg]

It was amazing. It makes us feel good as people who don't try either.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is that. You know, you can still achieve something.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And eat all the pasta you want.

[Nick Murphy]

That's what it is, man.

[John Holmberg]

But you still have to stay in the path, too.

[Unknown Comedian]

He's just a Masters fan.

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And are you a golf fan?

[Nick Murphy]

Because growing up in Atlanta, trying to get into golf because that's the final frontier for white.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. That's it.

[Nick Murphy]

You have to be. To be able to do, you know, any kind of business talk.

[John Holmberg]

And then pickleball showed up. For people who are like, golf is too hard.

[Nick Murphy]

You talk about games.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

That's a gay one.

[Unknown Comedian]

I don't know, man.

[Nick Murphy]

I don't know if I'm ready to do that. That micro tennis or whatever. You know, it's giant ping pong. Well, that's. Look at the other one. Ping pong was for. I thought, now we're doing a middle ground.

[John Holmberg]

No, Ping pong's for Asians. This is. This is for. Yeah, this is for us to feel. Ping pong's too small for us.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And pickleball.

[Nick Murphy]

Normal people.

[John Holmberg]

Us normal sizes.

[Nick Murphy]

And then the Asians, they.

[John Holmberg]

That's their pickleball. It feels the Same to me.

[Nick Murphy]

I did find out that the up. The up close part of pickleball on the court is called the kitchen.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

And I did remark at one point, that's why. That's where the women' hand. That's the women's tease. But it's just called the kitchen.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The bad thing is, is that it's hard to scream get out of the kitchen.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

To a woman, it's like, we don't really want to start that trend.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

Well, she was in the way. She had the ball hit her right in the goddamn face.

[Unknown Comedian]

And I'm not good on those directions either.

[John Holmberg]

No, Brady. Brady went there. Didn't even know it was a sport. Just heard about the kitchen.

[Nick Murphy]

I saw Brady cuddling with someone in the kitchen.

[Unknown Comedian]

It happened.

[John Holmberg]

It was gay.

[Unknown Comedian]

I lost.

[John Holmberg]

Who cares? It was in the kitchen. Nick Murphy's at Standup Live tonight and tomorrow. Standuplive.com is where you get tickets. And Nick, leave us with words of wisdom. Save the world.

[Nick Murphy]

Nobody cares as much as you do. This is what I've been telling people. It doesn't matter. Post your thing. You know, you might be embarrassed about it, whatever it is, but nobody's thinking about it. You're nobody. You're not.

[John Holmberg]

Go on. I like this. This is exactly what I would be saying.

[Nick Murphy]

All of you suck.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Nick Murphy]

Someone come get my microphone.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're 100% right now. Move the mic. Don't drop it. Get it out of.

[Nick Murphy]

I think people think there's going to be this whole scandal. I mean, you were talking about Tony with the Puerto Rico stuff. It's like, who's still talking about that?

[John Holmberg]

Nobody.

[Nick Murphy]

That was world news for until the.

[John Holmberg]

Election and they didn't even use his name. Yeah, Comedian at Trump rally. It was the best thing that ever happened to him.

[Nick Murphy]

That's how high you make it where they still won't even say your full name.

[John Holmberg]

You don't even get a billing now.

[Nick Murphy]

I'm just the Puerto Rico guy. Come on, man. I did 10 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

They're calling Sydney Sweeney a Nazi. For God's sake.

[Nick Murphy]

Right now she's doing some jeans commercial. That's what they're talking about now. So the cycle too with it. You talk about AI. Everything moves so quickly.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Nick Murphy]

You're going to be. You're going to have to crawl in a hole for three days.

[Unknown Comedian]

Number two hot on KISS Camp.

[John Holmberg]

Two weeks ago.

[Nick Murphy]

KISS Camp. We didn't even mention that.

[John Holmberg]

Ozzy dies. Ozzy dies and Sydney Sweeney goes Nazi.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

God knows what's next. But you're right, you're not that big a deal.

[Nick Murphy]

Yes, you're not that big a deal. But the good news is I am that big deal.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. And he's going to tell you about.

[Nick Murphy]

It tonight at 7:30.

[John Holmberg]

Perfect.

[Nick Murphy]

@ stand Up Live.

[John Holmberg]

Nick, pleasure to meet you, man.

[Nick Murphy]

Absolutely. You guys too. This was a great time.

[John Holmberg]

Awesome. Nick Murphy, everybody. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock ra station. It's John Homer here shilling away from my [e-mail] Here we go. It's going to be hot from here until Halloween. That AC unit of yours is on for the next five months non stop. That means if your AC unit is 10 or older, it ain't gonna last much longer. Proactive, that's what you need to be. Get that AC unit replaced. Newacunit.com inspects that order. Then the best pros in the business install that system and it is a done deal. You're gonna save thousands of dollars. They've changed the game. New acunit.com save and save time. Buy online at newacunit.com.