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Brett
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
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Brady
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John Holmberg
It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughns.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new Realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd just called TVs Doug Hopkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house. Cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process on online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1, 800, now you thought that was funny. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Can you PD.
Amir K
Just enough?
John Holmberg
We just meet people. We do that. Amir K is here. Desert Ridge Improv Pop those headphones on and let's go. Amir is at Desert Ridge Improv tonight, tomorrow and Sunday. Desertridgeimprov.com we just showed him some. It's Friday so I don't know if.
Amir K
I Can make it after watching what I just watched. I'll be honest. Who needs coffee?
John Holmberg
Yeah, we got this. And AI, who needs you and me or anybody else anymore? Just sit at home and wally out. When we all watch Wally, did we realize that everybody was getting fat and happy off of these videos? No. So we always on a Friday have the worst of the worst videos show up. And unfortunately, you were the Friday comedian. Flip Orley didn't get this treatment. It's just the Friday guy.
Amir K
Yeah. Night tears.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Forever. It's going to be rough. It's going to be rough. Now we. We showed you some prolapsing anus videos.
Amir K
Oh, man.
John Holmberg
Unfamiliar with it? Familiar with it at that point, Experienced it?
Amir K
No, I haven't.
John Holmberg
No.
Amir K
But I hope I don't.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Now what do you think that you. Are you. Are you now going to be a little more conscious of that as a possibility?
Amir K
I think so.
John Holmberg
I think so. Too many crazy objects in the area anymore.
Amir K
Yeah.
Brady
Cold turkey.
John Holmberg
Pop that up closer to your face.
Amir K
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
It just echoes. There you go.
Amir K
But if you check out, my only fans, you could probably check out. Yeah. Some prolapsing, you think? Yeah, I usually do it on Wednesday.
John Holmberg
Prolapse Wednesdays. I like that. You didn't go with the typical alliteration. Yeah. You just threw it on a Wednesday. It's like, you know, I am more original than that. Amir K. Is at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend. You said you're from Orange County, California?
Amir K
That's correct.
John Holmberg
I asked you the number that you think in a. In a. What is a region, a county or an area of about 20 million people? This is a commonality we see two times a week, three videos a week, brand new. This is going on a lot.
Amir K
But you said 1 or 2%.
John Holmberg
That's way more than 10 in that town. 1. I think 1% of any major metropolitan area has something like that going on. 1% of the population's playing around back there like that.
Amir K
Oh, I think they're playing around back. I don't know. To that level where. Yeah, it's coming out.
John Holmberg
It's true that 10% of the population is gay. And then another, probably 15 is freaky, and they're all playing backdoor games. It's pretty reasonable to think that 1% of the population has an issue with that. Anyway, Amir, thanks for popping in. We just wanted to show you those videos.
Amir K
Out of 10 people, you're saying one person has it?
John Holmberg
I'm saying yes.
Amir K
I would say I think that's too much.
John Holmberg
Out of 10 people. One person. Yes. I would say, out of 10 people, one person is capable of doing that at any given time.
Amir K
That's 10%.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's 10. You're right. So one out of 100. Yeah. You and I both the same. I followed right with you. Yeah. One out of 100. One out of 100 will have a game with their butt.
Amir K
That could be right. Yeah, I think so.
Brady
That might be closer.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
Just saying in this room, it's one out of four.
John Holmberg
Yeah. All of us. All of that's Brad. That's five. Yeah, I counted, but yeah. So welcome to the show. We've introduced you to our Fridays, and I don't even know where to go after that. How have you been?
Amir K
Yeah, how do you start with that? What have you been up to? I've done so much radio in my career, I've never walked in and watched Prolapse Butthole immediately.
John Holmberg
The opener.
Amir K
Yeah, the opener. Hey, how are you?
John Holmberg
We got it from the Bauman show in Pittsburgh. He's been doing this for years. No.
Amir K
Yeah.
John Holmberg
It's a. It's a weird thing to introduce people.
Amir K
It is.
John Holmberg
You know what? I think it makes you more comfortable. It does, because it brings it to where, like, okay, we're. We're free to do anything.
Amir K
Little trauma bonding in the morning.
John Holmberg
Exactly. And now you're comfortable saying, okay, what can I get away. Away with. Don't worry about it.
Amir K
Okay.
John Holmberg
We've got you. This. This is a disgusting society.
Amir K
We're free to go.
John Holmberg
Are you a religious man?
Amir K
I'm not a religious man. I am an Iranian man.
John Holmberg
Are you okay? How's that working out?
Amir K
Pretty good. I don't know what it's supposed to. What happened is World War iii, man.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
What happened? I wanted to activate. What do I do? I didn't get to activate. I'm just chilling now.
John Holmberg
You never got to call.
Amir K
No.
John Holmberg
You're supposed to, like, scream Allah Akbar at an airport.
Brady
Persian.
John Holmberg
Is that a thing?
Amir K
I don't even Iranian, but I'll tell you straight to your face, I am afra. I'm not ashamed it went away. How did that happen? Like, World War 3 ready? And then all of a sudden, it's over. And they had one guy out. One more guy to take out, and then we have bunker blasters, and they couldn't take out that last dude.
John Holmberg
You know what stopped it? Coldplay. Yeah, Coldplay stopped World War III accidentally.
Amir K
We stopped astronomers.
John Holmberg
Yeah. We stopped paying attention to World War III because some dude was nailing his HR rep. Man, that was.
Amir K
That's how dumb society hot the guy's wife was.
John Holmberg
I know, we all saw that.
Amir K
What an idiot.
John Holmberg
Well, she had those three kids there too. She did have three STDs running around. Do you have any kids? You guys are sick. Did you have children?
Amir K
I don't have children.
John Holmberg
Have any children now, did you. Are you, like. Are your parents from Iran?
Amir K
Yeah, I was born there.
John Holmberg
Oh, you were born? Yeah. Oh, no kidding.
Amir K
Yep.
John Holmberg
So when I said, where are you from? You lied to get away with it. From. You said Orange County. All right, that's it. Bring in the authorities.
Brady
See your papers.
John Holmberg
We knew when you wouldn't give us your last name.
Amir K
I don't have the paper. I don't have that paper.
John Holmberg
Do you. Did you have trouble, like, with people as an Iranian when you were a kid or anything? No, it was pretty easy. Nobody knows. That's the thing. Like, you can't really identify an Iranian until you tell us, right?
Amir K
And I think maybe, yeah, maybe, you know, somewhere along the lines there was some, you know, maybe some comments made or something. But, you know, I never.
John Holmberg
And your parents. I. I got in a cab with an Iranian once and he just started yelling at me about how awesome America was. And I better appreciate it. I'm like, I do. I didn't say a word. It was like what we did to you just bombarded me. We have just met and he's like, I come from screaming at me how great America is. I'm like, I'm. So is that.
Amir K
That's the sentiment? I think. I mean, we were so appreciative to be, you know, in a country that's this free and get to do what we want. I mean, I can't imagine, like my alternate universe would have been living in Iran. I don't know.
John Holmberg
Why did your parents leave?
Amir K
Because of the Iran Iraq war.
John Holmberg
Oh, okay.
Amir K
They wanted to bring us somewhere safer, which I'm so grateful they did.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
Because. Yeah, it was. I mean, because it's war war there, you know, like here when we're in war and you just don't even.
John Holmberg
TV war.
Amir K
Yeah, this TV war over there, it's like bombs are actually land. I remember my dad would take my brother to the roof and they would see that Iraqi planes coming over and dropping the bombs and stuff. So it was like everyone had bomb sheltered. It was pretty gnarly.
John Holmberg
And when. How old were you when you left?
Amir K
5.
John Holmberg
So you kind of remember some of it?
Amir K
Oh, yeah, yeah, I do. I mean, the traumatic moments and then you'd go down in these, like, little. You know, everyone had these little shelters that you go in the basement, you know.
John Holmberg
Wow.
Amir K
And when you'd hear the sirens and stuff and you go down, I remember it was like, you'd look at the. The adults and, you know, they were acting like it was fun, you know, like a game or something. Like, come on, let's go. It's time to go down. And then. But you look at their face and you see the horde. I remember seeing, like, the concern on their face. It's a pretty traumatic thing, and it probably screwed me up in some way.
John Holmberg
That's why you're a comedian. Yeah, there's definitely something.
Amir K
And then you come here and go straight to Orange County.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. Take me back to Iran. Yeah.
Amir K
Southern California, like, straight from Iran, you know? And then I'm like. I'm, like, sitting. So I didn't even speak English. I'm, like, learning how to speak English by mimicking the kids and my neighbor. So I'm. I had a Mexican accent for the first three years.
John Holmberg
You love. You were an Iranian who loved King T.
Amir K
You know, so just try to fit in here. Yeah, you try to fit in. You know, I. Yeah, I grew up with a lot of, like. Like, you know, Latinos and stuff.
John Holmberg
Do your parents talk about the culture shock they felt?
Amir K
You know, it's. I. I haven't really talked to them too much about that, but I think my dad had already been here. That's why we came. When we. Why we came back, he had gone Cal State Fullerton.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Amir K
So that's why we went back to California, which I'm so grateful for, because some of my cousins. I have two cousins and aunt and uncle that moved to Texas.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
And they. They moved to Houston. And I've. You know, I've been there a few times.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
I'm just so grateful we went to California. Yeah. I mean, I moved by the beach, you know.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
I don't agree with the humor.
John Holmberg
It's crazy.
Amir K
It's crazy.
John Holmberg
Yeah. So that's. It's just such an interesting thing to me because I've been just such homegrown, and I'm just like, this is. This is all I know. And that kind of frustrates me when you hear somebody who's come from somewhere else and you tell that story of watching planes go over your house to go bomb, and we're like, ugh, Lizzo's fat Sydney Sweeney shouldn't do commercials.
Amir K
Actually, as I got older, I realized how grateful I am to you. Know, like, you start to realize, like, holy crap. Like, I could have been in Iran and I could have been, you know, family there that I don't really communicate with as much anymore. And it's like, like, man, I can't imagine their life. They just want to be free. Like, we are here. You know, there's government there.
John Holmberg
They just won't stop it. Yeah.
Amir K
It's so ridiculous. But then you wonder like, why are we not doing, you know, I mean, like, that we had a chance to take out the last dude.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
One guy left.
John Holmberg
He's still standing around and he's still.
Amir K
Standing around and they're like, what? We have the Bunker Blasters.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
My nickname in high school, by the way.
John Holmberg
Bunker Blaster. Yeah, nice.
Amir K
But like, you know what I mean? Like, why? Why not? But then you were like, okay, what the heck's going on that we don't know about?
John Holmberg
So it's like, yeah, there's a lot we don't understand. And I think we're better dumb.
Amir K
Yeah.
John Holmberg
I think as a group, we're just better dumb. You tell us too much and we start getting mob mentality.
Amir K
You'll never know, man.
John Holmberg
Yeah, let's just be upset at Sydney.
Amir K
Sweeney and watch Prolapse, but watch buttholes.
John Holmberg
Falling out of dudes. That's freedom right there. That isn't happening. Dudes are filming that in a parking. That's outside in a parking lot.
Amir K
I thought that was filmed in Iran.
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, they do have that one section of Tehran that's like all goes here. Whatever. This is a free for all from this spot to that.
Amir K
You're sick. Listen, man, this is the butt area and that's it. You guys want to play with your butt, you can play over here.
John Holmberg
That is a safe zone, but safe zone of Tehran.
Amir K
And by the way, 20 of our population is playing with their butt problem.
John Holmberg
That's insane. Well, I'm glad. I'm glad you're here. And it's weird because I have a friend who is one of the lost boys of the Sudan.
Amir K
Okay.
John Holmberg
He was literally one of the kids walking across Africa back and forth, trying to figure out how to get away from this war torn nightmare. And he was the oldest of 500 and he was, I think he said he was 11 and he was kind of in charge of the whole thing. When they were done in his group, there were 13 left. Right. And so I've had dinner with him where he's complained about the appetizer. He's American now, man, you've changed. He has Too much enchilada sauce. And I'm like, are you really bitching about the appetizers? The food before the food.
Amir K
You didn't even have Food from a refugee.
John Holmberg
The lost boy Yelp reviews would be. Everything was delicious. No one tried to steal. Was awesome. Amir K's at Desert Ridge Improv tonight, Tomorrow and Sunday. Are you a. Are you a married man?
Amir K
I'm not. I have a girlfriend.
John Holmberg
You do have a girlfriend?
Amir K
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And she travel with you?
Amir K
She is, yeah. She's actually here with me now.
John Holmberg
Is she really?
Amir K
She's enjoying the CrossFit and stuff like that. So she was working out with a couple friends that she has a competition with.
John Holmberg
Oh, nice.
Amir K
Out here.
John Holmberg
Across. Does she force you to do a lot of working out?
Amir K
She beats me up from time to time.
John Holmberg
Are you abused? Do you want to blink twice if you need help?
Amir K
I'm here for help. Yeah. If you guys see me out in public.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You know, the hair covers a lot of the bruises. Yeah, I understand.
Brady
Blink twice.
Amir K
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Is she. Does she push fitness on you a lot?
Amir K
From time to time, yeah. When I'm starting to get out of.
John Holmberg
Shape, she's like, yeah, you're in shape, though. You're not?
Amir K
I guess so, but I. You know, it's hard to. When you're traveling so much to eat right. And all that stuff, you know?
John Holmberg
And she comes with you to make sure.
Amir K
No, not all the time. Just, you know, on, like, shorter, shorter trips.
John Holmberg
She'll come and. Does she. She does that for a living.
Amir K
She used to, like, do. She's a firefighter.
John Holmberg
Oh, how about that? Yeah, you gotta go get her.
Amir K
She's a go getter, man.
John Holmberg
Yeah, she's after it and can she lift you, do you think? Yeah, she thinks that I make her.
Amir K
Carry me up the stairs. I just.
Brady
It's just fun with an ax.
Amir K
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You give her the excuse, like, staying up with her job, like you're helping her out. That's good.
Amir K
That's right.
John Holmberg
That's amazing. Wedding bells. What are we talking about, putting a heat on you?
Amir K
We'll see what happens. You know, she's great. So far, so good. How long been, like a year.
John Holmberg
Well, okay.
Amir K
Yeah, she's very, very. I really, really like her.
John Holmberg
As your career takes off, do you think that she's going, oh, I'm leaving her behind? Yeah, I was gonna say that was kind of what I was. I was gonna delicately asking right now.
Brady
A couple of months here.
Amir K
I love you, Chloe. Spray. Listening.
John Holmberg
Like if it popped. If it just exploded for You.
Amir K
Oh, I'm going gay, man.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah.
Amir K
Prolapse city over here.
John Holmberg
Giving it up, right? Yeah.
Amir K
You don't know.
John Holmberg
I always wonder that, though, when, like when if you're going to become super famous and you don't expect it. It.
Amir K
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And then you look over and like, she's there. Like, I guess you're gonna go on this ride with me for a while, right?
Amir K
And I think it's better that way, though, don't you? Like.
John Holmberg
No, no, not at all. She's an anchor, man. An anchor, exactly. Yeah. But it's. You're right in one way. It's like, okay, you got a little insulated group keeps you there.
Amir K
Right.
John Holmberg
But also it's just such a whirlwind. It's. The reason isn't because of them. It's because you're going to experience a new world of trouble.
Amir K
Right. You could be like, Conor McGregor, just put it out there.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Just.
Brady
There's just more of them.
John Holmberg
There's just more of them and they're everywhere. And then the temptations get weird and then it's like, man, I'm putting myself in a lot of spots here where I'm going to damage people.
Amir K
Have you seen the Conor McGregor stuff? Like where he's just cheating on some, like, he's just constantly just like with some random, like, person out on a beach. And then like a week later he's just posting photos with his wife.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And he's the one, like, filming it. It's a selfie. He's gonna make out with this girl proper. It's marches out. I just closed the door on that broad right there. See you in a minute, honey. Heads right home. John Holmberg's morning sickness, the 98 KUPD.
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John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness. Yeah, it's weird. I had an Irish boxing trainer for a while and he, he lives in my brain. He. He would occasionally. He. I went to Vegas with him once and he goes, joni, we're gonna go watch a Ricky Hatton fight up there. And, oh, that's the guy in Las Vegas. Gonna watch Ricky Hatton. And he gets. And some at the time, I'm like, fine, I'll go with you. And we got a room at Treasure island, which I would have never done normally, but I didn't want to lose track of this guy.
Amir K
And you like pirates and I love pirates.
John Holmberg
He tells me right before he's, I gotta let you know something. I'm like, what? He goes, I have night screams. And I'm like, what? I got tonight's cream. So just in case. Don't worry about it. I'm not gonna hurt you. And then. And sure enough, in the middle of the night, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. Oh, my God. He starts flipping out in his side of the room like, I'm getting the hell out of here.
Amir K
Wait, can we talk about what that, like, stemmed from?
Brady
Oh, there's a couple options.
Amir K
Catholic, the Catholic Church, loads of dude I went to Ireland. I'm telling you right now.
Brady
He was northern in Ireland.
John Holmberg
Was he? I don't know. But he would occasionally scream about the.
Amir K
Ira, the level of drinking you see in Ireland, and him.
John Holmberg
You know.
Amir K
But I'm saying, I feel like it's really tied to what happened to people when they were younger. And you see, like, these guys in these. These bars just drink, but it's like they're dealing with something. They're by themselves, like, way drunk. Drunker than.
John Holmberg
Plus, they're Irish, so.
Amir K
Yeah, they're Irish. And that's a whole different.
John Holmberg
Well, they never, ever stop being attractive to priests. They're all like. They all look like little kids. This is the Right.
Amir K
Thanks for bringing in God. I met my core group of friends. I mean, where have you guys been all my life? Just sounded like a crazy person. It's like being in a green room at any comedy.
John Holmberg
Yeah, this is. This is where you're safe. That's why we showed you those videos, to let you know. Yeah, we can bash the Irish here all you want. I know the Iranians hate them. We're actually in cahoots alphabetically. It's close. But are you. Iran and Ireland.
Amir K
Ireland, they're, like, pretty close.
John Holmberg
Is that right?
Amir K
Yeah, I believe so.
John Holmberg
How'd that happen?
Amir K
I have no idea, to be honest with you.
Brady
But potatoes.
John Holmberg
Like a super Catholic country.
Amir K
Yeah. Protestant Catholic, but I think they have, like, some sort of ties. I honestly.
John Holmberg
I know Scotland has ties with. Was it the king of Scotland? What was he when he ran down. Oh, With a lot of African dictators. Like, they had that for long. Because IDI Amin was the.
Amir K
Yeah, I'm. Of geopolitics. Not my.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You know, clearly. I just made it so clear when I was explaining. I would have never known Iran and Ireland were pals.
Amir K
Yeah. I had no idea. I think I've heard it mentioned a few times.
John Holmberg
Interesting. What's one Iranian tradition or trait that we don't know? That you're like, this is something that we'll never get rid of because it's awesome.
Amir K
Oh, the beheadings are just.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Amir K
That's just a thing that we. It's something that.
John Holmberg
I was expecting a food. No, no, no. Maybe it is. Maybe it's just.
Amir K
No, the food. There's a place here. I'll give it a plug, man. It's called the House of Persia or something. Or maybe I messed up that I go, I'll give it a plug. It's not even a restaurant.
John Holmberg
All I know is you See me speeding by it. Yeah. You're a jerk.
Amir K
You're a jerk and everybody knows it. No, man, it's really good. If you get a chance, check it out. It's Persian Room or the House of.
John Holmberg
Sounds great.
Amir K
Something like that. It's really good food, I'm telling you. They got, like, a fountain in the middle.
John Holmberg
It's cool. What is the food? I don't know.
Amir K
It's mainly, like, you know, kebabs and rice and, like, there's some different stews and stuff like that.
John Holmberg
That sounds okay, but it. No, I feel like.
Brady
I think it is the Persian Room.
Amir K
It's the Persian Room. Thank you very much. Yeah, it's very good. It's so good. I'm gonna go there. As a matter of fact, this. This trip.
John Holmberg
I fear foreign foods.
Amir K
Do you?
John Holmberg
Yeah, I just. I'm not.
Amir K
Yeah. My girlfriend's kind of like that as well.
John Holmberg
I just don't trust it. And I don't trust that anybody that moved here and hung on to it gets it right.
Amir K
Really?
John Holmberg
No, I don't think it's authentic.
Amir K
Yeah. You're missing out.
John Holmberg
I'm scared. Oh, that's.
Amir K
What do you eat? Hot dogs and hamburgers.
John Holmberg
A lot of hot dogs and hamburgers. Hot dogs and. I know. And I still don't trust those altogether. I have to do it myself. That looks beautiful. Is that it?
Amir K
That is it. But it doesn't look like the freaking Titanic.
John Holmberg
I don't know.
Brett
I'm on the Persianroom.com.
Amir K
Well, it is actually very cool. I don't think it's. I mean. Yeah, they've made it kind of, like, real extravagant.
John Holmberg
That's stunning.
Brady
That's.
Amir K
Yeah, but you go in there and they got these, like, real. Yeah, it's a great. It's like, you know, I'm a pretty. It's the one and only, like, place that I've been here that I. That I think is pretty good.
John Holmberg
I've lived here forever. I didn't even know that was.
Amir K
Check it out. It's really good. They have everything.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Amir K
This isn't super Iranian.
John Holmberg
So other than beheadings, this is the thing to hang on to. Yeah. I just don't know a lot about, like, Iranian traditions and stuff. As an American, we grew up just thinking, yeah, that's what they teach you. You know, that's what they're like. Oh, they're. They're bad. And they're always this. And everybody's dressed up in the clothes, and they hate us, and it. We got you never. And then you meet people, you're like.
Amir K
No, no, it's going to be farther from the truth, honestly.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And. And then you meet people from there and you're like, Tehran is like a college town, right? And it's got a ton of people and everybody's free.
Amir K
They just want to be like, here. I'm telling you. Like, they just. I. The amount of messages I got and every so often there's like a revolution that almost happens and then the government kills a bunch of kids in the streets and then they. They, you know, squash the revolution and the parents don't want the kids to go out in the street because they're going to get. Sure kills. So it. And they always. And it's. It's, you know, they need some sort of help from the outside to come.
John Holmberg
And yeah, they can't do it alone.
Amir K
But they. But I'm telling you, there's something that we don't know that there. There's a reason they want those guys there.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
You know, I mean, why would.
John Holmberg
Keeping them coming.
Amir K
Yeah, exactly.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that is true.
Amir K
Yeah, there's something.
John Holmberg
By the way, while you were telling that story, did you notice how long it took for Brady to spin his chair away from the menu that's on the TV.
Brady
Filet kebab? No, I haven't been there.
John Holmberg
Name an intersection he can name two restaurants in the whole town. Really made.
Amir K
I gotta get some pointers from you on.
John Holmberg
Oh, it'll never end. Don't say that. This is a long, long day for you. Amir K. Is at the Desert Ridge Improv. What do you think does fix this? What do you think? Like the image America has of the Middle east and of Iran. Like, what. What can you do?
Amir K
I think I'm doing it. Doing stand up and showing people that we're not like, you know, terrorists and we don't hate America. And I actually talk about it quite a bit in my act about, you know, the alternate universe I'd be living in if I was over there and how grateful I am to be here and how grateful most Iranians are to be in this country.
John Holmberg
What did your dad do?
Amir K
He was a civil engineer.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Amir K
And then he. He came here and moved. Worked for Caltrans.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Amir K
California Transportation.
Brady
They just had a. There's a store on Caltrains earlier.
John Holmberg
Caltrans.
Brady
The Caltrans. They had an employee.
Amir K
Yeah, the same transsexual cows.
Brady
And they had a stripper paper.
John Holmberg
You're fitting in too well.
Brady
13 employees got fired because they. This guy was retiring. No, they threw a Party.
Amir K
Yeah.
Brady
And they're using the.
Amir K
Well, I'm sure you get his money.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Amir K
You can tell when you pull up to the strip club with 14 orange trucks.
Brady
They brought her to the office.
Amir K
Oh, my gosh.
John Holmberg
Well, sure. It's the Coldplay thing again. Yeah. I find it fascinating because as I get older, I just realize so much of what I've been taught. Thought has led me to believe a certain thing, and it's just not real.
Amir K
It's not.
John Holmberg
And then you. Have you ever been back?
Amir K
I haven't since we came because the. The situation wasn't like the best for us. Because when you go back, if you're over 18, you have to have served military service. If you're like a citizen, if you were born there two years. So you have to like. Yeah, it's two years or something.
John Holmberg
Like, even if you visit.
Amir K
Even if you visit. Yeah. They're gonna ask for. You have to pay all this money to like, buy out of it or something like that.
John Holmberg
So they'll nab you at the airport and say, you were born here. You got to serve in the military.
Amir K
Yeah, something like that. So I just never. And then I started doing stuff like, as I got older, like little, you know, I would do sketches where I play Iranian thing, or I was in the movie Argo, you know, like about the hostage crisis. So, like, it was just too risky for them to pull because they'll do that. They'll just like, take a guy that, you know, if you're coming from the States and say, hey, man, what is this? Like, show you a video of like a comedy sketch where I'm like, playing at Iranian consulate, and they'll be like, you know, what is this? You're a spy. And then they'll just throw you in jail for. They were doing it all the time.
John Holmberg
Did you say you were in Argo?
Amir K
Yeah. Were you a small party? Yeah.
John Holmberg
What did you play?
Amir K
First things, I was the passport official that, like when they come into the.
John Holmberg
Country, you were giving them the heat.
Amir K
Yeah.
John Holmberg
The sweatiest part of the movie.
Amir K
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it was like I was the passport checkpoint. It's funny, like, they. They cut the scene down a lot, but it was like one of the first roles I ever got.
John Holmberg
No kidding.
Amir K
First year into doing anything in la.
John Holmberg
And you showed up and.
Amir K
I don't know, I auditioned for Ben Affleck and. Yeah. Grant Heslov, who's like the.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And you were in an Academy Award winning film.
Amir K
Dude, I got a SAG award board. Like, my first thing, I'm like, oh, man, I made it. I thought I was gonna be like Tom Cruise.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Did you get it? Here you. Here you are.
Amir K
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
This is your scene.
Amir K
That's literally Fred founded immediately.
John Holmberg
This is sweatiest movie scene ever.
Amir K
Yeah, this is it.
John Holmberg
You put the headphones on. You guys.
Amir K
They just passed my. My station.
John Holmberg
Oh, you're already out. Well, this one. It gets real good. Let me rewind a little bit. There you are.
Amir K
Actually, no, this is.
John Holmberg
Yeah, this is. This is where you're up front there.
Amir K
Yeah. Hold on.
John Holmberg
And these are all Canadian pads. This is a great movie.
Amir K
Yeah, this.
John Holmberg
That's.
Amir K
No, no, they just passed. They just passed my station. So they come through and then I hold up. I hold up his passport for a while, and then we wave them through.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, I remember. That was a great.
Amir K
Man.
John Holmberg
That's crazy. And you'd only been in L. A. For a little while.
Amir K
Yeah, just a year. But it was crazy to be on this sort of a. Like this sort of. It's funny, when we were doing the. We're doing the. We're doing, like, a rehearsal for it. Van Affleck comes through. You know, we're doing, like, kind of like a blocking rehearsal. And he gives me his passport, and I go, are you traveling with Matt Damon? Like, he didn't think it was funny.
John Holmberg
You know what?
Brady
Give this guy.
Amir K
Yeah. I was like, oh, I'm a comedian. Maybe I'll make these guys laugh. He didn't think that was funny.
John Holmberg
Were all the guys who were playing Iranian? Iranian, yeah.
Amir K
Oh, my gosh. It was probably the most difficult set because Iranians are so hard to deal with. Everyone's looking right down the barrel of the camera.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You know, staring right at us.
Amir K
I remember Ben Affleck would get so frustrated. He goes, guys, you're looking right at the camera. You can't. And then, like, guys, like. Because your audience don't care, man, they're like, I want to be in the movie. I want to be like.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
So one guy would be like, they already saw him down the way.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Amir K
And now in a new scene, he's in front of him. Yeah. He, like, ran over to get in the camera again. It doesn't make sense. You can't be here and here.
Brady
I blanked in.
John Holmberg
Is this you? Okay. This is your scene.
Amir K
That's me.
John Holmberg
That's you?
Amir K
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Look at the beard on this guy.
Amir K
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it had some lines and stuff, and they cut everything out.
John Holmberg
But that's just how you're just Staring at Rachel.
Amir K
It's like one of those enough lines.
Brady
To get the sag.
Amir K
Yeah, they. He actually t hardly mean the sag, so I got the SAG card.
John Holmberg
Do you get a little mini Best Picture award?
Amir K
I got. No, I didn't get a Best Picture, but I got on. We won ensemble cast. So I have an award for that.
John Holmberg
Did that win Best Picture? I don't remember. Argo. He won best Director.
Amir K
He won best Director direct.
John Holmberg
No.
Amir K
Did he get the director?
John Holmberg
I don't remember.
Amir K
It was like your Best Picture, though.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You won best. You didn't get, like a little plaque?
Amir K
I didn't get anything. Come on. I'm sure the main, like, staff, like the.
John Holmberg
You are main staff. I just saw you on the screen. That counts. Like, you got a credit, right?
Amir K
No, but it was so funny. So I actually, you know, you, like, book this role. And like I said, the Iranian, like, extras, they're so, you know, like, they don't care. They're just like Iranians in LA that are like, want to be on the. In the movie. They're like, oh, just get in front of the camera, man. So I like, went to the bathroom, I like, left my little stand where I'm filming the scene, right. And I leave and there's another guy there. He's like, no, I can't do it. No, you can't do it, dude. I've booked this role. Like, you can't.
Brady
And didn't. You have to. You have to pay right away? I mean, order because stuff. Yeah.
Amir K
You want me to put in a word for you?
Brady
I'm sagged.
Amir K
Oh, yeah, I have it.
Brady
I actually basically refunded it back.
Amir K
Right, Right.
Brady
Because here you get work outside of being non.
Amir K
Non. Okay.
John Holmberg
What are the movies you've been in?
Amir K
What have I done? I don't even know. You don't know what movies you're in? I don't know. There's like little.
John Holmberg
Little so bougie to say that. No, I. I don't know.
Amir K
No, I honestly haven't done that many. I haven't. So I don't. Yeah, it's not like I.
John Holmberg
What's the one you're least proud of that we could find real quick? Least proud of, like Lizzie McGuire or something?
Amir K
Oh, no, I can't. I mean, it was this movie, the Pyramid I did. I was like a lead in it, and it was just like.
John Holmberg
Like it was bad.
Amir K
I mean, it's one of those horror movies where you get, like, trapped in a pyramid, you know? Like, I wasn't. I I'm actually not ashamed of it. Or it's cursed.
Brady
Right. Is the pir.
Amir K
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Themed the pyramid? Brady, you've got too much time.
Amir K
It was like Dennis o' Hare was in it.
John Holmberg
Oh, wow. You've had some people around.
Amir K
Yeah, it was a Fox feature. It was like a. It was like a pharaoh.
John Holmberg
Look at this.
Amir K
Vengeance against adventurers who are the sacred tombs. No, but it was like. And this all happened like within two years of me. Me being in la, you know, like two, three years. I'm like, oh, man, everything's moving.
John Holmberg
Then it ended. Now you're sitting in here with us. Prolapse videos. Amir K. Don't say a bunch of bald guys. That's rude. He's got hair. I got hair.
Amir K
He doesn't have hair.
John Holmberg
I can't even see it. It's got loads of it.
Amir K
Oh, here it is.
John Holmberg
There's you again.
Amir K
Yeah, it's one of these. And then we get stuck in the thing. One of my favorite reviews was this movie's about four people getting stuck in a pyramid, which is what I felt in the movie theater. Pyramid behind me has only.
John Holmberg
That's cool.
Amir K
Like this radio.
John Holmberg
Watch that. Well, there you go. Well, I hope it go. Do you want to be an actor more than a comedian?
Amir K
No, not at all. Always. And they always hated that when I would go to these meetings and they'd be like, oh, so what do you, you know, they want to. The agents and managers and they always want to hear you, like, have these aspirations to be this like money making actor. And I was always like, I want to do the comedy clubs or like, like, yeah, yeah. So I think that kind of.
John Holmberg
That's what people do when I say, oh, I do radio. Because you've met other radio people and they're. They're not wrong. No, absolutely. Yeah. It's a tough. It's a tough business. Thank you. We appreciate.
Brady
We hear that a lot.
John Holmberg
Yeah, we do video that fast.
Amir K
And you guys don't do the Voice, which I like. Good morning.
John Holmberg
Good morning. I was about to get into that. Amir, it's 8:59.
Amir K
8:59 on the app.
John Holmberg
Desert Ridge Improv is where Amir K is playing tonight, Tomorrow and Sunday. Desert Ridge improv.com. leave us with words of wisdom, sir. As if you haven't already already.
Amir K
Be kind to the people next to you. Man, that's beautiful, isn't it?
John Holmberg
But not the people. Bomb them. Yeah.
Amir K
People close to you. Be nice because you have to deal with those people.
John Holmberg
It's beautiful. It's good to meet you, man.
Amir K
It was great to meet you guys, man. Thanks for having me on and I hope to see you guys all at the show.
John Holmberg
Absolutely. Well, this weekend I'm busy, but maybe a show. I'll watch Argo. I'll get you some residuals. It's a mere k, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. It's John Holmberg here. Shannon away from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. Brady just had his windshield replaced. Toledo just had his windshield replaced. And Brett evidently got jealous because his windshield got cracked on his drive to work the other day. New Vision Auto Glass, they're your best friends. They'll fix that ugly busted glass, then give you up to $375 back and you'll get dinner at the world famous Brazilian steakhouse, Rodizio Grill. Go to New Vision autoglass.com, see what you qualify for, then get it fixed. Call 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamond Pass.
Brett
It's Brett and John for Action Ride Shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa.
John Holmberg
The new location is your East Valley full line bike shop with brands like Pivot, Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain, Giant, Norco. And of course Action Ride Shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus being so close to the Hawes trailhead, they have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and E bikes.
Brett
Action Ride shop now with two locations. The brand new shop at Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out at actionrideshop.com hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.
Byron
Brett, I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.
Brett
Well, can you do this to my gun?
Byron
We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.
Brett
Well, there you have it. MMP guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian or online at mmpgunscustoms.
John Holmberg
Com.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 08-01-25 - Amir K - Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio
Release Date: August 1, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Guests: Amir K
Station: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio
In this engaging episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, host John Holmberg welcomes comedian Amir K to the studio for an entertaining and insightful conversation. Throughout the show, John, along with his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delve into Amir K’s background, his experiences as an Iranian immigrant, his journey in comedy and acting, and his perspectives on cultural perceptions. The episode is punctuated with humor, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions, providing listeners with a rich and entertaining experience.
The episode begins with John Holmberg introducing Amir K, highlighting his upcoming performances at Desert Ridge Improv. John humorously sets the tone by mentioning their Friday tradition of sharing the "worst of the worst videos," which serves as a comedic icebreaker.
John Holmberg [01:09]:
"...They wouldn’t be dealing with all this stress if they’d just called Doug Hopkins because he makes an offer for your house. Cash. As is, you don’t have to do anything. The deal is over..."
The conversation takes a personal turn as Amir K shares his background growing up in Iran during the Iran-Iraq War and his subsequent relocation to Orange County, California. This segment offers listeners a glimpse into the challenges and cultural adjustments Amir faced as an immigrant.
Amir K [07:03]:
"...what happened is World War III, man. What happened? I wanted to activate. What do I do? I didn’t get to activate. I’m just chilling now."
John Holmberg [08:12]:
"How old were you when you left?"
Amir K [08:14]:
"5."
Amir recounts traumatic memories from Iran, such as witnessing bombings and living under constant threat, which have profoundly shaped his worldview and comedic material.
Amir K discusses his path into comedy and acting, emphasizing his desire to bridge cultural gaps and challenge stereotypes about Iranians. He highlights how his experiences inform his stand-up routines, aiming to showcase that Iranians are not terrorists and that they appreciate the freedoms found in America.
Amir K [22:41]:
"I think I’m doing it. Doing stand-up and showing people that we’re not like, you know, terrorists and we don’t hate America..."
John Holmberg adds to the discussion by reflecting on his own limited understanding before meeting Amir, illustrating the importance of personal interactions in dispelling misconceptions.
John Holmberg [09:46]:
"So when I said, where are you from? You lied to get away with it. From. You said Orange County. All right, that’s it. Bring in the authorities."
Amir K shares anecdotes from his acting career, including his minor role in the Academy Award-winning film Argo. He humorously describes the challenges of filming as an Iranian character and the dynamics on set with stars like Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.
Amir K [24:53]:
"I remember Ben Affleck would get so frustrated. He goes, guys, you’re looking right at the camera. You can’t. And then, like, guys, like..."
John Holmberg humorously engages with Amir's story, highlighting the awkwardness and comedic elements of Amir’s experiences in the film industry.
John Holmberg [25:00]:
"Did you say you were in Argo?"
Amir K [24:45]:
"Yeah. Were you a small party?"
The dialogue shifts to broader cultural issues, with both hosts and Amir K addressing the stereotypes and misconceptions that exist about Middle Eastern cultures. They discuss the impact of media portrayals and the importance of personal storytelling in altering public perceptions.
Amir K [22:41]:
"...do stand-up and show people that we’re not like, you know, terrorists and we don’t hate America..."
John Holmberg [21:31]:
"And then you meet people from there and you’re like, Tehran is like a college town, right? And it’s got a ton of people and everybody’s free."
Throughout the episode, humor is a key element, with both John and Amir K exchanging witty remarks and playful banter. They tackle sensitive topics with levity, making the conversation both entertaining and thought-provoking.
John Holmberg [17:21]:
"This is your scene."
Amir K [25:00]:
"Yeah, this is it."
Their interaction about Amir’s scene in Argo exemplifies their dynamic, blending humor with personal insight.
As the episode winds down, Amir K shares his final thoughts on kindness and community, leaving listeners with a meaningful takeaway.
Amir K [30:45]:
"Be kind to the people next to you. Man, that’s beautiful, isn't it?"
John Holmberg humorously twists the message for comedic effect, maintaining the show's light-hearted nature.
John Holmberg [30:49]:
"But not the people. Bomb them."
Amir concludes with sincere appreciation for the opportunity to share his story, reinforcing the episode's blend of humor and heartfelt dialogue.
Amir K [30:58]:
"It was great to meet you guys, man. Thanks for having me on and I hope to see you guys all at the show."
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a balanced mix of humor, personal storytelling, and cultural discussion. Amir K’s candid sharing of his experiences as an Iranian immigrant and his journey in comedy provides listeners with both laughs and valuable insights. John Holmberg and his crew facilitate a conversation that is as entertaining as it is enlightening, embodying the show's mission to entertain, question, and engage listeners.
Notable Quotes
Additional Information
Listen to the Episode
To catch this episode and more, tune in to 98 KUPD (97.9 FM) or listen via the 98KUPD app. Join the conversation and stay entertained with Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show.