08-01-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: August 1, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogan, Brett Vesley, Dick Toledo
Station: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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1. Unexpected Weather Phenomenon

Timestamp: 04:08 - 08:21

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg sharing a personal anecdote about an unexpected storm that hit his area despite forecasts predicting clear skies. This leads to a broader skepticism about climate science and weather forecasting.

• John Holmberg (04:08): "If we can't figure that one out, we certainly don't know what's happening 100 years from now."

• Brady Bogan (07:56): "Scientists believe that Atlantis was actually above the water, submerged, and they called it there."

The hosts discuss the discovery of underwater pyramids near Cuba, debating theories about ancient civilizations like Atlantis. John expresses frustration with fluctuating weather predictions, questioning the reliability of climate models.

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2. Listener Emails: Relationships and Personal Issues

Timestamp: 10:43 - 19:39

The show transitions to reading listener-submitted emails, focusing primarily on relationship challenges and personal issues.

• Listener (12:10): "Can you please mention that Mike Tanner can no longer get an erection? He works for an AC company in Tucson..."

• John Holmberg (14:36): "There's no reason, Ben, to tell everyone that Mike Tanner can't get an erection..."

The conversation takes a critical and often mocking tone towards relationship problems, particularly targeting the female partner as the cause of male sexual dysfunction. The hosts discuss societal norms around masculinity and the stigma associated with erectile issues.

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3. Discussions on OnlyFans and Incestuous Content

Timestamp: 20:39 - 37:34

Brady Bogan introduces the topic of OnlyFans, highlighting its saturation and the emergence of unconventional content, including incest-themed material.

• Brady Bogan (34:59): "There are brothers now who are joining in, saying, is it... It's incest, but what's the harm?"

• John Holmberg (37:31): "We'Re just doing it to make money. It's not sexual."

The hosts delve into controversial areas, discussing the blurred lines between content creation and ethical boundaries. The conversation includes insensitive remarks about incest, reflecting a lack of sensitivity towards such topics.

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4. Violent Street Fight and Racial Biases

Timestamp: 52:55 - 78:45

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing a viral video of a violent street altercation. The discussion centers on racial biases and mob mentality.

• John Holmberg (62:07): "You escalated it now. It's dumb versus smart. That's it."

• Brady Bogan (75:45): "But what you're saying it is racial."

The hosts critique the portrayal of the incident, arguing that both parties involved acted unwisely. There's a debate on whether racial tensions influenced the violence or if it was purely a result of individual actions. The conversation touches on societal issues like tribalism and the media's role in framing such events.

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5. Guest Segment with Amir K. from Desert Ridge Improv

Timestamp: 118:04 - 148:33

Amir K., a comedian from Orange County, joins the show to discuss his experiences and cultural background.

• Amir K. (135:27): "When you'd hear the sirens and stuff and you go down. I remember it was like, you'd look at the adults and see the horror."

Amir shares his journey from Iran to the United States, highlighting the cultural shocks and challenges faced during his upbringing. He also touches upon his role in the film Argo and his experiences in the comedy scene. The conversation emphasizes themes of immigration, cultural integration, and overcoming adversity through humor.

• John Holmberg (141:10): "Being friends with Todd was detrimental to my life at that point."

• Amir K. (147:35): "We're free to go. Like, you'll never know, man."

Amir discusses the importance of representation and challenging stereotypes, using his platform to educate listeners about Iranian culture and dispel misconceptions.

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6. Science and Random Segments

Timestamp: 156:43 - 175:28

The hosts introduce various light-hearted and random segments covering quirky science facts and humorous takes on pop culture.

• Brady Bogan (160:50): "He can be."

• John Holmberg (165:07): "You're gonna walk through a giant rock into that crap."

Topics range from peculiar scientific studies to playful banter about movies and celebrities. While these segments aim to entertain, they occasionally stray into inappropriate humor.

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7. Wrap-Up and Announcements

Timestamp: 175:03 - End

The episode concludes with promotions for upcoming events, including Amir K.'s performances at Desert Ridge Improv, and humorous interactions between the hosts.

• John Holmberg (178:08): "You thought it was great, right? It was like a wave of joy..."

The hosts reiterate sponsor messages and tease future content, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and candid discussions.

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg (04:08): "If we can't figure that one out, we certainly don't know what's happening 100 years from now."

• Brady Bogan (07:56): "Scientists believe that Atlantis was actually above the water, submerged, and they called it there."

• John Holmberg (14:36): "There's no reason, Ben, to tell everyone that Mike Tanner can't get an erection..."

• John Holmberg (62:07): "You escalated it now. It's dumb versus smart. That's it."

• Amir K. (135:27): "When you'd hear the sirens and stuff and you go down. I remember it was like, you'd look at the adults and see the horror."

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness traverses a wide range of topics, from personal anecdotes about unpredictable weather and skepticism towards climate science, through listener relationship issues and controversial content discussions, to in-depth analysis of violent incidents with a focus on racial dynamics. Guest appearances like Amir K. add depth by sharing personal immigration and cultural integration stories. The hosts maintain a humorous yet often provocative tone, engaging listeners with candid and sometimes contentious dialogues.

Please note: The content discussed in this podcast includes sensitive and potentially offensive topics. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. At Native Grill and Wings we bring the big flavors to match the big moments. Our fresh never frozen wings come in over 20 bold flavors served up hot and ready for every game winning Play Football is back. Kick back with an ice cold beer or handcrafted cocktail and catch all the action at Native Grillin. Wings. Need to feed the fam? Get two large pepperoni or cheese pizzas for just 20 bucks. It's a whole lot of flavor for one unbeatable price. Cold drinks, great food, even better deals. Visit nativegrillinwings.com to find the restaurant nearest you. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughopkins.com I tell you about the house down the street from me that has had a for sale sign in the yard for three months now. In fact, it's the fourth different sign. They've got a new realtor all the time. I do know this though. They wouldn't be dealing with all this stress if they'd have just called TVs Doug Hawkins because he's more than a guy buying your house. He makes an offer for your house. Cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. The deal is over. So all you got to do is start the process online@doug hopkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-Sale Now. We're here with Byron from M and P Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to M P Guns?

[Brady Bogan]

The choice is simple Brett.

[John Holmberg]

M and P Guns is your one.

[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

Ammunition, accessories and even training.

[Brady Bogan]

In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a fact.

[John Holmberg]

You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th Street Indian School or [e-mail] this is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside and the political climate is just as hot. If you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore my civil rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results. To book a free consultation, call 855- GUN RIGHTS or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's restoremycivilrights.com It's Brady from the HMS.

[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It's fast. It's 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady Bogan, there's Brett Vesley, and there is big Dick Toledo. And we are off and running for a day where I no longer again, I'm going through that thing. You can't tell me about global warming if you can't tell me about a surprise storm. Last night somebody started tapping on the window. What in the world is going on? It's perfectly clear night. Look out the window a little bit. It's rain is hitting the window. There are no clouds. It was like Charlie Brown went outside. Clouds sitting over the house, pouring rain, looking around. And I'm like, I just watched the weather. All the guys said was no chances of rain at all for days. If we can't figure that one out, we certainly don't know what's happening 100 years from now, 50 years from. Stop it. Ian Schwartz f du on that one man. His buddy scene did it. If you can't. If you can't figure out 10 minutes from now, don't tell me what's going to happen 20 years from now. I'm back on that train now.

[Brady Bogan]

It was science that someone created a storm.

[John Holmberg]

Chinese store storm clouds. Yeah, I've heard about those. The rain seeds. They tell the seed they seed. But why my house? Why me? What was going on at my place that needed to happen? It was crazy. So, yeah, I got back on that pretty hard. Yeah, it was crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

It was like.

[John Holmberg]

And it was one cloud about the size of my house. It was weird and poured rain and then it went away. And then they're like, well nobody knew that was gonna happen. And I'm like, well then what is your job, Ian Schwartz? Explain to me what you do. Guess. You guess that's it. You look at some computers, they're like eh, probably not going to pretty easy to do. But again now I'll swing back to all you people that are, you know, you're tribal about the global warming. I believe two things can be true at once. We don't know what the hell we're talking about and we're also screwing stuff up. That's it. That's all there is to me. I don't know what we're talking about. And we're using a lot of information, we don't know what we're talking about to screw things up. I just, I'm back on the bandwagon of these scientists now. I've met Ian Schwartz. I think he's one of the most wonderful human beings on the planet. He's no scientist. He's as much scientist as I am. Now. He science of a few things he understands like his way around a man's thighs. That's a science that man. I would take all the like the wisdom he can impart on me through that. Ian knows his way around that. He knows when it's gonna rain there. Oh damn you Ian Schwartz and your weather team. Yeah, so I, yeah, I just don't, I don't. I'm back off the. And I've never been much of a we're gonna fix it thing. I just saw a special the other day about that. They have a city they found off. We talked about it the other morning about a city they found like 600 meters beneath the ocean by Cuba. They found this thing a long time ago. And initially they're like, ah, some jackass went down there and started a range and stuff. Well there's pyramids, like there's. And it's a few thousand years older than the ones in Egypt they think and they've gone down, they've looked around like this is a. Why would this be 600 meters underwater? The sea level hasn't risen this far. Like how in the world did this happen? And they don't. They have no explanation for it. And they're like, we're going to look deeper into this. This could change everything. And I'm not sure we want it to change everything. But you know we don't know what the hell's going on. Then they're like, it's Atlantis. And I'm like, okay, now. And we're still nuts. We're still bananas.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, Atlantis is alive.

[John Holmberg]

They found it again. Well, they find it every once in a while. But this one. This one they've had for a while. But it's neat. I mean, the pictures are neat. Are they. I don't even know. Are they real?

[Brady Bogan]

And I heard that what's even more baffling is that those. The. The pyramids that they're seeing, they're saying it. Those weren't underwater ever.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no. Yeah, they know.

[Brady Bogan]

So the water was over it.

[John Holmberg]

So, yeah, that's what they're. They're saying in the thing. They're like, how in the world did this go 650 meters below the surface of water if the sea levels have risen? Yeah, just a little. Not enough to do that. Like, what. What was this? Where was this? And why is it here? And then, like, it changes the course of everything where their underwater aliens did. At one point, was there a civil civilization underwater that was doing this kind of stuff that managed to get up to Egypt and do the same thing where they fish people, I think, is what they're saying. I'm not. Nobody knows anything. We don't know anything. This Atlantis west, then, like, Sun City West. I don't know. For me, it's like they keep finding it. Well, there were maybe. There were several thriving underwater cities, Brett. Maybe possibly the fish. If the fish got up on land and looked around, went, whoa, there's a city. And another guy's like, what? Over here, too? Like, there'd be. The fish would be shocked at what they saw up here.

[Brady Bogan]

I think they. Scientists believe that Atlantis was actually above the water, submerged, and they called it there.

[John Holmberg]

Submerged above the water.

[Brady Bogan]

It was originally above the water.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And then it got buried and it got some right. And they've now they've pulled up stuff from there.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they haven't taken a thing out of this one.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, they guess spots, like, they feel this is Atlantis where it was one.

[John Holmberg]

Off the coast of Greece. That's not that far under that they can kind of understand. Yeah, they never thought it was, like, a city where we had, like, underwater. Qui Gon Jinn was down there with his breathing tank and found Jar Jar Binks in his crew. Leave him there. Yeah, yeah. If we found that, nuke it. Yeah. If we found Jar Jar's house with King Boss and all that nuke it explode that I don't know. If I have to write checks for Nuke and fake things, I don't know. But we'll nuke that. Even the green people, Thunberg and all that be like, that's fine. Use that nuke over there. We're good. I wonder if the Thunberg would be interested in Nuke and Jar Jar's house. I bet I don't always against destroying the atmosphere unless it means Jar Jar is dead. Even gratis for it. Let's do this. Anyway, so yeah, I get. I get weirded out by the whole, you know, we've got this all figured out. You know, go buy your stupid hybrid car or do something like that. We're not fixing any of that. We can clean it up. I've always said that we can clean our act up a little bit. We can be a little bit cleaner. It's like a house. You know, you go to some people's houses and there's. You haven't swept or vacuumed in weeks or months. Like how do they live like this. We can do that. Sweep it up. I don't know that it changes the whole house. But you can't tell me it's gonna rain. You just told me it's not gonna rain. Then it rains on my house. And the studio that he was in is close to my house. Probably got rained on too. That thing probably passed over them. How can you tell me it's never going to rain again and it's raining on you as we. Larry David had the greatest theory about weathermen ever. They all love golf and they tell you that it's going to rain on days they're golfing. But they lie to you and say, oh, it looks like rain at 7 o' clock on this. It's going to pour rain Saturday at 7:00am so everybody. And then they get the whole course to themselves. So if you follow that, if you go see if the weathermen are always wrong about the morning rains or whenever they've got something to do outside. Don't believe it. Then my day starts even stranger as I get an email from Bruce who's he emails quite a bit, says, good morning, John. Do you have any desire to go see Caitlin Clark play next Thursday against the Mercury? Oof. As a veteran vet takes his offering tickets to me like, man, haven't you been through enough? You're a veteran. You're a veteran of war. This is what they do. This is.

[Brady Bogan]

She's in the lineup. She will play.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't Want to see that? I don't care. I still. Sophie will be there. Look, I understand that. I never went to a Sophie game when she was with the Mercury. We had a chance to look at her. There's Instagram, there's videos. If I want to see Sophie doing stuff, it isn't basketball. She's fine, but it isn't basketball. And also, you got to remember Caitlin Clark. Yes, she's out on the court, but there are nine other people out there that don't know how to play basketball that you would have to stomach and sit through. It's like seeing a movie where you're. It's Swordfish. The movie's horrible, but there's one thing in it you kind of want to see, but you got to sit through the rest of it. Halle Berry's boobs came out in Swordfish for the very first time, remember? But the movie's so dreadfully bad that you almost are kind of like, oh, it's Harley Quinn in the first. What was that one? Where they had all those? The seven or eight characters? Yeah, Suicide Squad. And you're like, I want to see this. Harley Quinn looks hot. And the movie's so bad that you get tired of looking at her. Same thing with Caitlin Clark, although not sexual in any way whatsoever. You just go there and realize, oh, the product. She's really good against a bunch of. It's like watching me play a bunch of basketball like 5 year olds.

[Brady Bogan]

I've got it. Or correct you, though. You're not watching the highlights. They're called Follies.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. The Follies. The WNBA Follies. They're very funny. But watch out for flying green dicks, too. If you go. And I wouldn't watch highlights of basketball. I'm talking about highlights of Sophie's life.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, gosh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm not. I would never go look and go, well, let's see what happened in the W tonight. No, that's crazy talk. No, when I say highlights, I'm like, her hair. Like, what she have on? She goes, club. And who's she wearing? What she. I'm all interested in that, but I have no interest in watching women play basketball. Not that there aren't a couple of good players. There's just so many bad ones. But thank you, Bruce. The offer is very kind, but I think as a veteran, you should call vet ticks and tell them you don't know. You weren't there. Stop offering me these horrible.

[Brady Bogan]

Any other options?

[John Holmberg]

I did not fight for. This is what I would tell them I'm like, I didn't nearly die for my country. So this. So I would have to wake up to vet tips giving me tickets to the Mercury. Caitlin Clark is very good at basketball. It's the other ones that are the problem. And you got to remember she's one of 10 on the floor at any given time. Now, Bruce, if you want to bring green dildos, I'm not going to throw one, but I'll definitely be adjacent to that hilarity. Try to hit one in the legs. Lame. Look, Joe Biden. That thing just hit him in the legs. Can't hurt him that way. I got. And then my emails were awkward. I get that. And then this one, this is a solid one. And I don't know if I should read it all the way through, but I'm gonna. Says dear John, my sister in law has recently confided in me that my brother can no longer get it up. She sort of threw it out there that she hasn't had sex with him in a couple of years and their marriage is a little bit in trouble. I'm not sure if she was trying to roll with me. I think she would, but I don't have any interest in that. She's fat. Manifest. It gets worse. Can you please mention that Mike Tanner can no longer get an erection? He works for an AC company in Tucson. He's my brother and his dick broke. Evidently two years ago she confided to me. Not knowing that my brother and I have that kind of relationship. We're brutal to each other. Thank you very much. He listens to you. Signed, Ben. Don't do that to Mike Tanner. He's worked hard enough his whole life. He's fixing AC units in a Mike Tanner. Probably too worn out to get a hard on anymore.

[Brady Bogan]

Game Day Men's Health.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, go to Game Day Men's Health. They can fix it. But there's no reason, Ben, to tell everyone that Mike Tanner can't get an erection and it's embarrassing. So no, I won't do that. It's bad enough the man lives in Tucson. I refuse. Yeah, exactly. Jesus. Hasn't he been through what? Is he going to get tickets to the Mercury next year?

[Brady Bogan]

That's part of the problem.

[John Holmberg]

Could be. Brady has a point. That is an excellent point. I think one of the leading causes of erectile dysfunction is the women of Tucson. I think that's probably true. If I was down there in Tucson, I'd be interested in Toledo's son. He's the best looking Woman down there. Yeah, that's probably get your brother out of Tucson, Ben. But I will not, I don't know, Mike Tanner. So why would I ever go and use our platform on the air to say that Mike Tanner can't get a hard on anymore? In two years, he hasn't satisfied his wife. That's pretty rude. But I can tell you what. It's her fault, Ben. Ben announced why Mike's not getting hard. That's fat. Yeah, she got big. Wife let herself go. Probably putting moo moos on and stuff. It's her fault. I bet you, you know, drop a few of those LBs, get a couple linebackers off your back, roll into the bedroom, and suddenly Mike's junk's gonna work again. Nothing you can do about that. Maybe through Jerk made up on the screen because it's free right now. Maybe. Maybe that it would happen. Is it free again? I think so. It always is. That or Brazzers is always free. You know, Brazzers celebrates it. And then I'm like, well, I have to go over there now. That's a good deal. But it's always free. It's pornhub. I know if I'm watching pornhub and they're telling me that porn's free, I don't understand it. Everything I'm watching on pornhub is free. And then. But I gotta watch an ad that goes, brazzers is free. And I'm like, move the thing I'm watching is free. I don't understand it, but it is exciting. And then I do go to browsers. Brett's right. And I've never been to Jerk Mate. I haven't either. I don't even know what that is. You're looking for somebody to put it on.

[Brady Bogan]

Chicken.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. It's Jamaican chicken. Hey, Brady, go look in the corner. The adults are talking. I think we had one listener say he did click on one of those one time and just got inundated with everything. But there's just chicks sitting there waiting for me. I don't know. That's what they say. There's lonely housewives in my area actually waiting for me to click on it so we can tug one out together. Let's get our IT guy up here so we can get on the website. Check it out. We'll get Mike up here and see if he'll run through Jerk Mate to tell us what it is. We need you to do a favor here. Mike Tanner can't get a hard on anymore. We need to get some jerk made Action going. Poor Mike Tanner. I would never. That's just rude.

[Brady Bogan]

We got a. Another couple. This woman caught her husband cheating.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady Bogan]

And she. How she caught him was she noticed the digital scale had additional weigh ins. When she looks at the record, you go to your phone app and it says someone else has been weighing in numerous times. Like at 120 pounds.

[John Holmberg]

Oh her, her. No one else scale knows how often it's been used. Yes, that means she's a track. No, it means that there's another lady in there. Oh, oh yeah. Oh yeah, I know he's cheating. Oh boy. With 120.

[Brady Bogan]

Well there's 120 and the others weights are 189.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's see what this beast looks like. They don't know. So. And she's weighing in at 609. At 189, at 551 she, she put on a pound and the. It's going backwards sometimes. So yeah, the day before fluctuated. Day before she hopped on the scale. At 3 o' clock she was 192. Then hopped on again at 3:42 and had dropped 6/10 of a pound. So she was down a she then. Then at midnight someone £120 got on the scale. So she's not only 190, she's running the, she's. She's working the cash register at the quick trip overnights. Then at midnight, at midnight 25 and even 120. Midnight 26 and even 120. Then at 6:21am 1 92, she had a rough night in the churro department. She put on a couple. She had to eat those, those flaming hot Cheetos because, you know, the night was dragging on.

[Brady Bogan]

Or she's saying, no, that's her husband.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but that could be. But Brady then. Well, that could be her husband. But she's not 120 or she wouldn't be.

[Brady Bogan]

No, that was my first incident.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good man though.

[Brady Bogan]

How could you? You would say, oh that's my husband. But who else is 120?

[John Holmberg]

Then that's a good man. Weighing her in ahead of time. Everybody on the comments is basically saying you're looking for a sign that she's having some trouble. This chick weighed herself twice within a minute. She's looking for any chance she has after seeking confirmation of her 120 pound friend. That's really all you need. Yeah, you're not getting those kind of results, those 72 pounders. But evidently it's just her scale for Assuming my husband, someone over at our condo. After I saw 120 pound weigh in when I was there. Maybe now I've done this on a scale where I try to see how much one leg weighs. You know where I put.

[Brady Bogan]

Tough to do.

[John Holmberg]

It is. That's why it's sort of fun. I do it on the toilet a lot and I'll kind of balance myself up and I'm like, I drop a leg on the scale and see if I can get up an accurate. I can't. But you know, that would be like somebody like 80 pounds. It's not gonna be. Somebody's gonna be worried about me. I didn't know scales could. I didn't know they would. I guess that's a good technology. Like they keep up with where you're at. That would just be depressing though if you were 190 pound woman. Is she saying that's her husband that hops on the scale that often?

[Brady Bogan]

Don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Because a dude 190 can pull. Yeah. A guy 190 looking sharp can 120. But I'm assuming that too, Brett, that she's on the scale. She wouldn't have noticed the other. She. She's avoiding that scale. Yeah. If there's that many 190s on there and that's her husband, only 120 comes up there twice. That lady hasn't gone on the scale for a long time. Well, he wants to make sure that she's not going to turn into 190. So he's all, you know, he's weighing her in ahead of time. Good thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Do the digital Toledo scale. The old school.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe the bariatric hospital can come by and load her up for her truck. Sc I like that. Yeah, well, look, you know, he's faxing his girlfriend back and forth because she's nice and thin and you're just laying there in your lump of whatever it is. So yeah, who knows? Watch out for the scale. Just like in Brett's world.

[Brady Bogan]

There's an Italian boxer weigh in for his Kumar.

[John Holmberg]

Of course there is. Right. Italian Kumar, if you're gonna. Why he's having one Italian rule he's breaking is bringing her over to the house. Who shows the goomar the actual house. I watch the Sopranos. The goomar always loses it and shows up with a prosthetic leg or something. She can't know where you live, but yeah, weigh her in. Yeah. It's a way. Absolutely. Gumar's put on 14. Time for a new goomar in this bed. We have weighing in at £120. Fighting. It'd be out of the red corner. It'd be like Rocky and Thunder Lips. Your wife is the Thunder Lips size? Yeah, she's the big one. That's it. Except for fighting. It wouldn't be fighting. Would be. Come here, meatball. Dang. Out of the left bed. Weighing it at £192, she makes it so Mike Tanner can't get a hard on. 120 pound goomar. Stay off the scale and don't leave fingerprints. Well, anyway, it's wrong either way. And what I'm saying is, you being a giant lady and checking the scale all the time, that's just terrible. Stop it. Don't you want your husband to be happy? I thought you were all about his happiness. Talk about selfish, Braun. That's what I think, too. Brett. Didn't you say at one point, I just want him to be happy? Well, he's trying. Nobody is happy. He's trying to be happy. He's got to keep running over here. You keep Sherlock Holmes in the scale, how's he going to achieve your ultimate goal, which is his happiness? I don't understand couples. They want. Everybody wants each other to be happy. And then when they start getting real happy, they get mad at, like, you can't be not that happy. Nobody really wants happiness. They want you to be happy with what they're happy with. They don't want your happiness. That's true on both sides.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't let them know. Do not let them know what makes you happy.

[John Holmberg]

I just want to make you. It's the biggest lie in weddings. I just want to make you happy. Oh, don't tell them anything that makes you really happy. I just want you to be happy. Do whatever it takes to be happy. Okay. Women, too. They go out and ride some. You know, they're on black stock, getting banged around as I come home like, oh, you seem happy. I am thrilled. Better not be doing stuff that I don't like. Well, then you don't really care about my happiness. Yes, yes, it's important not to do that kind of stuff. But again, stop that in weddings. Stop saying two things. You make me a better man. No, she doesn't. That's dumb. You make me a better man. No. And I want to do whatever it takes to make you happy. Oh, yeah, Lies. That's not lies. John holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 kupd. Hey, you want to win $979. Well, check this out, Handel. The heat is back with another Chance to win. And another chance to check out a Holmberg special on the menu at Native Grill and win. That's right. Join the HMS Crew at Native Grill and Wings during one of our 4U brews for a chance to participate in Handle the Heat. That's Holmberg's hot wing eating contest. For details on all the contest rules, head to 98kupd.com think you can handle the heat? Well, bring your appetite and find out. It's all brought to you by Native Grill and Wings. Hey Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett. I sure do.

[Brady Bogan]

It's M and P Guns Customs. M and P Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser.

[John Holmberg]

Engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and upgrades.

[Brady Bogan]

We do everything in house with our master trained craftsman. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun? We can do it to nearly any firearm.

[Brady Bogan]

Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP Guns customs.com it's John Holmberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. A very close friend of mine had his knee surgery at the Core. He's not going to be back on the court immediately, but in a few months time he will be. He's got some rehab in front of him and that's. That's all you need to worry about. Get to work and get feeling better. Get rid of the pain. You've been living with the Core Institute celebrating 20 years because they've been changing people's lives for 20 years and you don't last that long unless you're great. Stop living with your pain and say yes to the things you love to do again. Go to the Core Institute.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. You look at the other person go, you're a good one. I like you. You're fun. Let's hang out. Like, okay, okay. Let's do that forever. I'll clamp it down if you clamp it down. Deal. I want you to be happy, Brett. As long as it doesn't mean punching me or banging away on the side. That should be at all weddings. And I'd be, keep it at a buck twenty and we're good. And then you'd be like, I want to be happy. And if you want my true happiness where you Are right now, there's a five pound fluctuation. Outside of that. I didn't marry somebody to expect. Banned. It's like dinero and casino. Weighing in the showgirls. Yes. Send her back to France. They used to do that with airlines. We had to walk down, walk down the aisle, shoulders square to the, to the seats. And I remember my friend was a guy. Oh, they weighed him in early days, but then they just went down to the. Can you make it through? That was a pretty low bar. And my buddy who I used to work with years ago named Ryan worked for Southwest Airlines. He was a man steward. Straight as an arrow, too. Shocked everybody, really. Yeah. And he. And he's like, I. He was a wider. He was a wrestler and he couldn't get through without turning a little bit. They made an exception because it wasn't much, but he's like, I'm banging it. Like, if people were sitting there, he'd bump them. And then they just, then they just said, screw that. You don't even have to fit. We'll just throw you peanuts.

[Brady Bogan]

But even. You know what's amazing? When they were doing the weigh ins, like, like Pan Am and back in the days there, they weren't. They didn't figure out, we can cram more people in the plane. They just had two seats on each side.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So the aisle was actually.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they didn't have to have called cargo like they did a lot more.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a lot more space.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, look at this. This is the good old days. Oh, the Pan Am models. I told you on that little kite. I flew back on that beach craft private jet. I flew back on last Sunday when I tried to add my friend Mark Stebbings to the flight ops. They're like, we've talked to the pilots. We're not sure that's a good idea. I'm like, oh, you know Mark? And like, yeah, we've seen him around. You know, he eclipsed the moon once. So I said, yeah, he can't get on the plane. I went, mm, it's hot out. And that was basically what they said. It's too hot for Mark to fly.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a nice way of putting it.

[John Holmberg]

They couldn't do it. Oh, come on, Kyle. First email subject, Mike Tanner and his limp penis. Don't do this. How dare they call out that guy's brother, Mike Tanner. Mike Tanner can't help it. Of his tiny limp penis can't get it up. Mike Tanner can't help that he has low T. And his Giant wide wife put on extra £50. Poor Mike Tanner. Your brother's a jerk for outing him. Don't do it, John. Kyle, that's why. Did you say small, though? Nobody ever said his penis was tiny. It's assumed or she wouldn't have started eating all sorts of other stuff. She'd have been working out on that. Anyway, we won't do it to Mike Tanner. Ben, you're. No, I will say to you on the air, live. No, we won't do that to your brother, Mike Tanner, AC repairman in Tucson who hasn't got enough gigs. Yeah, that man. Of all the gigs to take. I admire those guys just as much as just about anyone in the world. Seeing those AC guys. I had the guys from Diamond Coating come over yesterday and they're wandering around measuring things. Yeah, they're in the backyards. They never go in. They're in garages and backyards and. Oh, I was talking to him like, it is miserable out today for you guys. Yeah, you get used to it. The tough part is getting in and out of the truck because it's nice and cool in the truck. Then you get out and you get back in. That's the thing. Got to stay consistent. Like Mike Tanner and his limp penis. It hasn't done anything different for two years. Consistency, that's the key. Anyway, you've got a scale at the house that is monitoring. Like, take Brett's advice, the goomar at the house. No, you don't do that. What's the thing you do with a goomar? You get her an apartment. Right? That's what Tony Soprano always had a place for him, at least. Very minimum. You go to their place. Yeah, that's what he did with that one. One leg. Yeah. Bring your own scale. You know, it's. It's calibrated correctly. Have them down at Satrial, they got a scale. Sit him down in that meat scale. All right. She's 122 pounds. That's pretty good. Good goomba work. Hey, Tone, why should get your wife up in that thing? Oh, Myron, we couldn't fit her up inside of this. He never let Carmela get big though, either. Carmela stayed pretty good. A couple of kids. Yeah, she was all right. Jenny Sax or that. Oh, man, Sax. Wife got huge and all they did was make fat jokes about it. Oh, yeah. God, that was a great show and taught us so many things. So many things. Anyway, sorry to go on and on about that, but it's very, very true. But that scale thing's scary. Because you can get in trouble, not be doing anything. If somebody just comes over and weighs themself and they're like, you know what I mean? You can't even. You can have it like a worker there. Like, if Scott Haynes came over to the house, he's £150. Your wife might. Yeah, you're right. 118. 118. I wanted to make. I want to make it more of a man. But he. When you talked about that 10 ounce baby that was born, he text over, he's like, what's the big deal with that? I was born 10 ounces. I was fine. Like. Yeah. And he wasn't even a preemie. He was full nine months. He's the smallest man I've ever met. But if he came over and we were, you know, doing whatever you do with a little person and he hopped on the scale and left, it would look like somebody decent sized was in the. Who's this at 138, I go, that's my buddy Scott. No man weighs 138 pounds. If Larry came over, I don't know if the scale registers. Larry. Larry's in the 130s. Larry's like 135 pounds, which I can't even grasp.

[Brady Bogan]

Dale was blown away. Saw Larry's legs for the first time.

[John Holmberg]

He thought he was SpongeBob. Hey, Larry, never seen you with shorts on before. Where are your legs? They're in there. Larry does have very thin legs. Speaking of brothers like Mike and Ben, Mike's the one who can't get it up. Ben seemingly. Okay. Worst part of that thing, the biggest thing Ben's gonna get in trouble for with that is that he called his sister in law fat. So right. You banging me on the radio about my dick, whatever. Can't believe she told you that. Don't call her fat. I'm never gonna hear the end of it. What, is she gonna take sex away? You're welcome. You're welcome. Is he gonna rub up against your useless knob for. Don't worry about it. I saved you. I saved you. £180. Says grinding up against your. It's not working. It's not working. Just, you know, it's a favor. He did your favor. I did see on. This is horrifying. It's brothers. You want to get into the philosophy of this? It's very strange. Only fans is getting to the point now or, you know, fetishes are everywhere, right? So you can go and see feet or people stomping on spaghetti or whatever. Somebody's doing something weird on OnlyFans all the time, and you have to do something weird now to differentiate yourself. It's just been so saturated with people. Girls from their boobs. You can see those everywhere. Nobody cares. I don't know what the guys are looking for, but if it's wieners, they're all over the only fans, too. You got to pay for it. I don't understand any of that. I'd never pay for it. So much free stuff. But there is a guy out there. Oh, I'll just read it. All right. And then you start thinking about it. You're like, there's really no harm in this. Partner of Amanda makes adult content. Has explained what she thinks of the peculiar situation she's in. You're nodding affirmatively. Do you know?

[Brady Bogan]

I think I know. Maybe the story.

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure? One of his neighbors in Gilbert. Yeah. Says adult content has exploded over the years. Like I was saying, sexual photos. Often the safety of your own home is the place you do it. Thousands, even millions of people doing this. The market's so saturated, users are having to be extraordinary, try to stand out. And a woman in Scotland who made content out there, remember she was a school teacher and got permission, and she started to do it. And then the school's like, well, you're getting a little far with that. She started making so much money, she's like, I don't need to be a teacher. Highly recommended for all teachers who think they're not getting paid enough. Still look okay, but. Ugh, this is tough to talk about. Ryan Lee is a guy who opted to go down a different route. Ryan is with his, you know, his wife and said his older brother Andy. Ryan was going on only fan showing his wiener and stuff. His older brother Andy said, I want to get in on this too. And they said, you know, what's not on only fans at all is a couple of brothers each other. All right, that's enough of the story. And his brother somehow went, okay, these two, they're pulling in 20 grand a.

[Brady Bogan]

Month, and his wife is fine.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she knew. Most gay sex performers consider it cheating. Most gay sex performers have wives or girlfriends. Like, it's the something they do on the side is like, not and. Yeah. And their wives don't care. Yeah. And they're like, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. This wasn't Mike Tanner, was it? It is Mike Tanner. Yeah. It was Mike and Ben Tanner, Tucson repairman. This is how many people make content without it being weird in the first place. It's no big deal. We're in a group stance. Can be on either end, so it's not strange. But they do it with his wife, and his wife is very hot. But they'll brother up and they'll bang on her for a little bit. And then, you know, her name, Gigi, Patsy. And they're.

[Brady Bogan]

They're banging each other.

[John Holmberg]

It says that they have gay. They make gay videos together. And I don't know what that entails. That's all this article says. But we don't. A lot of times we don't touch each other. We just do it with her. But there are brothers now who are joining in, saying, is it. It's not even incest. It's incest, but what's the harm? Yeah, well, I mean, you can't get anybody pregnant, right? No. A couple of dudes wrestling. Wrong. All right. It's all. Well, Brady, the whole thing's wrong. When I'm talking to you about gay guys, brothers or otherwise, you think the whole thing's wrong. Anyway, I'm not, you know, thinking it's right for me, but I, you know, I'm not the type person who thinks they're all going to hell because of this abomination to God, that they're performing on a regular basis. But, you know, when you kind of put it into a basket, I know Brett's going to sleep when you put it in a little basket there. No, I'm nauseated. If Ben and Mike Tanner wanted to do this. So you're saying that would get Mike back up again? Maybe. Oh, I'm just saying. Where's the. Why is that line drawn?

[Brady Bogan]

I just think the fact that, I mean, it's effective, the lines drawn, it's just a weird.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a hundred percent weird. But so's the gay thing to us, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Well, on top of can't do it.

[John Holmberg]

With your sister, that's just right.

[Brady Bogan]

So does that mean now people start doing that? Well, it's okay.

[John Holmberg]

So you'd rather do it with your brother?

[Brady Bogan]

No fans.

[John Holmberg]

But.

[Brady Bogan]

We'Re just doing it to make money. It's not sexual.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, we all know it is wildly against nature, homosexuality, but it's fun for people. They seem to be enjoying it. They call it gay. They took the word happy and attached it. Dump. Whatever. The brother thing, I've never understood that. The girl that wrote me the letter, the Brian Adams girl, she was at a party once, and a brother, twins were working on her. And she said. And the next thing you know, the Brother's in there, and he's fine with it. And I'm like, I can't. That's. You know, my rule of one boner per room is very big, but, you know, is it a. Is it. His brother's doing it.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think my brother Tom and I could work on something.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. But if you were both gay. I'm the only child. Why not? What the hell? It's for money, right? It's 20 grand a month. That ain't bad. You and your brother, knock it off. You can have some jokes in the middle, you know, fist fight a little in there. You can tell them the Uranus stories and all that kind of stuff. Brady would have his puns. Well, his brother rails him. And you're a bottom. Tom's the top. Now, just to recap for all the listeners, the only reason I'm telling this story is to make Brady wildly uncomfortable. He's the only one with a brother in the room. We all know how wrong it is to do it with a sister, but. And he's picturing it, which is even better, is that Tom is just like, come over here for. So let's make 20 grand. Come on. Knock it off, Tom. Yeah, you'd be gagging, that's for sure. Make that noise again. He ain't heavy. He's my. Ow. Ow, Ow. All right, where's the money? Of course it's wrong. I think going on onlyfans to have sex is wrong, so why draw that line? The gay thing is weird to a lot of people. Add that in. I don't want to hear it, Brett. The Holly's playing in the background. Sound like a tennis match. Hey, Tom. What is it? Remember that time that mom found me down at the. The drugstore?

[Brady Bogan]

Stop. We're not making enough money.

[John Holmberg]

You keep talking about our parents, people are going to get. Quit it. Okay, he ain't hit it. He's tombog.

[Brady Bogan]

That's my flippity floppity.

[John Holmberg]

That's why they called you flippity Floppy. It was all designed to make Bray really uncomfortable. I think we did it. Corset's wrong. Disgusting. Yuck. And I always ask religious people what was going on with that whole Sodom and Gomorrah thing that made your God go, that's it. Flood the whole lot. That was so bad compared to what's going on today that he says, no, we're still not there yet. The bar's still not. We haven't hit it yet for the big flood. Come on. If There is a God. He should be looking down at these stories, going, brothers making money.

[Brady Bogan]

Sodom and Gomorrah. And one more thing.

[John Holmberg]

Flood it. Don't look back if you look at it. Yeah, yeah. Don't turn around. Make eye contact.

[Brady Bogan]

I gotta check it out. Don't do it.

[John Holmberg]

Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Yeah, that was his threshold back in the day. A little too heavy. Party. And they had the golden calf. That's it. They've lost control down there. Start to flood. And he turned this picket on, and he flooded the whole thing, save for Noah. And he said, that's it. Starting over. Lost control of my thing to bring the goddamn dinosaurs back. They were more fun. At least they were predictable. Didn't have minds of their own. When God was a teenager and all he wanted was a big sandbox filled with dinosaurs, it still didn't make any sense why he started there and then just made them disappear.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why they're awesome. Is it love playing with dinosaurs?

[John Holmberg]

Of course we did. But it was such a strange thing that God's like, I invented all this dinosaurs. That's what I want. And then people, why? I want to put some blondes out there. Cody says two brothers is nasty, but hot. Twin sisters. That's what's up. See, I think that's gross. I. I find that to be worse than the brothers. You do? I think so. Gross. Nope. I think twin girls. I get twin girls over two hairy asses. I'm not watching. Not watching either one. I find them equally appalling. I just think it's gross to have sex with your family. Color me crazy. That's where I'm like, you're putting him having sex with his brother. Hilarious. Yeah. I said with my family, Brett. With my family. His family, okay? His family can each other all they want. They're grown and not me. I have a standard. Brady is. Ah, brother. How long is this song? Ow. When do I turn? Shut up.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna run next time I hear this song.

[John Holmberg]

We have ruined the Hollies for a lot of people. The whole song's a lie, too, because I am heavy. Isn't this song about a mentally challenged brother? I don't know where we pull the lyrics up. Yeah, it's like, I think he's, like, toting around his mentally challenged brother. He's telling everybody, hey, he ain't heavy. He's not a burden.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I just thought he was down and out.

[John Holmberg]

No, he. He's not. He's not. Maybe he's got the Downs. Yeah, I think he's got the downs. You don't do that. Oh, if your brother's got downs, don't put him on only fans. Although what's stopping us? If we'll put brother's doing it on only fans, what's stopping the downs? Fetish weirdos. Freaks. Yeah, I thought. I think it was just about him having a. Mentally. I don't know, man. That's my interpretation. Mentally challenged. His welfare's Mike turned. He's got to take on his challenged brother. And everybody's like, isn't that rough? He's like, it ain't heavy. He's my brother. You gotta remember it was the 60s word heavy. It's like, hey, man, that's heavy. That. Like, it was a burden.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought, no matter what we go through, he's my brother.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's a. He's a. Everybody else sees the guy as a burden, and he's like, no, my brother. And that's what everybody listening is. Try not to make that noise on to the beat. Anyway. Not getting that on the Beth show. Yeah. You might actually be careful. You might get one up after you just pass out. We know.

[Brady Bogan]

Top on that one.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good stuff. But the good news is Mike Tanner can't do that to anybody. So though. All right, I'm getting all these. There's the lyrics. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's about having his brother is sort of R word. And I won't use the R word. I'll just call them ed strong. Strong enough to carry him. He ain't heavy. He's my brother. So we go on. His welfare is my concern. No burden is he too bear. He would not encumber me. He is if I'm laden at all. Laden with sadness to heart, blah, blah. Yeah. It's basically about having a. And the load doesn't weigh me down. Careful. That's his brother at the end there. Brady, it says, and the load doesn't weigh me down at all. The neighbors are like, there's a sick bird next door.

[Brady Bogan]

A tortoise.

[John Holmberg]

The load doesn't. We're doing this at the next show. Oh, yeah, we'll do that. Some of the hollies have to be dead. We'll have Brady on all fours fly Tom out. Anyway, there's evidently brothers doing that and people paying to watch. I don't want to watch a threesome with brothers. I don't want to watch a threesome with sisters. Color me the most moral man in the world. If that's where I'm drawing lines. But it seems kind of easy to not have brothers in a room together. There's friendly fire when that happens. That's gross. Anyway, society's disgusting. You're always gone. Always said, don't cross the streams. So, you know. Yeah, never. Yeah, cross streams, family streams. I'm pretty sure you hit those together in like a small fire. Shouldn't be at 6. 27. Let's get a wake up song. 585-9-800. What a way to start before 7am that's the kind of stuff you get from us. That is how you wake up. And I'm. You're welcome, by the way. That was free. 585-9800. Give it to us good and strong like Brady's brother. It's 98K Upd, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. Hey, Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock.

[John Holmberg]

And ready to ship. Wait, there's no backorders? Nope.

[Brady Bogan]

We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal.

[John Holmberg]

In your state, we can get it.

[Brady Bogan]

To a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always, always go to mmpguns.com it's Brett and John for Action Ride Shop in their brand new location on the northwest corner of power Road and McDowell in Mesa. The new location is your East Valley full line bike shop with brands like Pivot, Ibis, Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain, Giant Norco. And of course, Action Ride Shop has the best wrenches in town to keep that bike on the trail or the road. Plus, being so close to the Hawes trailhead, they have a huge rental fleet with gravel bikes, mountain bikes and E bikes. Action Ride shop now with two locations, the brand new Shop of Power and McDowell and the OG on Gilbert Road in Southern. Check them out. Action rideshop.com It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk again about my friends at Trajan Wealth. I always talk to you about the will and trust. The estate plan that I put together with Kent at Trajan Wealth. Kent was unbelievable and man you want to make sure medical power of attorney and power of attorney are established. Because if something bad happens and you don't have anybody speaking for you, somebody you don't know will keep control of your life even when you're not in control. All you have to do is get it done. Today at Trajan Wealth, 489-903-3300, trades and wealth legal services are offered through trades and estate Law firm llc. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, they suck so bad. Not Miles to Nowhere People. The people we work with. We have some people we work with we're talking about. Oh, they're the worst. What's for lunch today? I don't know. There's a lot of options. I want a grilled wiener anyway. How dare you? It's a lot of people. Want to see bottom Brady family? Bottom Brady there. Squares there. That's probably gonna happen.

[Brady Bogan]

More than likely Only Fans.

[John Holmberg]

Although there's my set up.

[Brady Bogan]

My.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Brady on Only Fans would be fun. Just you just tugging it. Wonder how much we could raise for charity if you just went on Only Fans once and ripped one off. Even with your back turned, where you don't even show anything. Just your back.

[Brady Bogan]

Not doing it for charity.

[John Holmberg]

All right, do it for you then. I don't blame him. That's fine. Do it for just you then. Do it for profit. Right in front of the aquarium. Just people would watch. Just out of curiosity. Yeah, they would. I would. I think it'd be hilarious. Is to hear your little. The sad tears crying. Sorry. Jesus. Can't believe I'm doing this. Oh, that's good stuff. Janet has emailed in about our Mike Tanner and his lack of an erection. Okay, this is from a woman says you're home birth. Maybe he can't get an erection because of his big fat wife. We need to hear his side. Maybe she's taking dumps with the door open. Farting around him. He sees all these repulsive acts, like she's just wandering around like a sister. Mass consumption of food from a trough. She probably can't clean herself very well because she's gotten so big so her nethers are dirty. Maybe if she slimmed down, he'd start wooden up again. Brother in law even says he doesn't find her attractive. Poor Mike Tanner's penis might just be scared. Or he's got something on the side and he's wearing it out over there. Check the scale. Love you, Hallberg as always, thanks for the laughs, viewpoints and woody banter. That's from Janet. That's a woman basically saying it's a woman's fault if a guy can't get it up. If I wasn't an only child, that would be my sister Janet's, I think my long lost sister. Just the way she thinks, you know, she's sort of the Brett. Her verbiage Lady Brett. Yuck. And only child should be a website too where you just sit there and like what Brady's gonna do. Back turned all by yourself. This says. Sorry to hear. Oh, this is from our blind listener, Sean Rockefeller. So sorry to hear the news about Mike Tanner. It's sad when your brother who you look up to can't get an erection. My brother James Rockefeller has never had that problem. Every time my brother James, seasoned attractive man, he's rock hard. Oh, that's nice to know. Thanks. Sean. Outing your brother, outing your family on the radio, that's very smooth. This is sort of a, an emergency. What would Brady do? And possibly going to take over the bottom Brady in the center square later this morning with this one says good morning. Being that my husband is a listener to the morning show every day, I would like to know what you guys would do with my situation. Maybe black lady Brady can chime in for some reason, characters opinions are now, my husband had the morning show playing in the background as we finished the deed and he started to chuckle in my ear. And I think it's going to be something cute or romantic and I'm like, what happened? Homeburg just said dot, dot, dot. So he's listening while he's humping me. This happens a few times a week and sometimes gets real bad when the squares are on. Sincerely, a concerned wife. Amanda, are we getting blamed for this?

[Brady Bogan]

So they're going in around the.

[John Holmberg]

We're paid for nine. Nine. So it's a black family because they're getting ready for work at 10. What's happening? You caught on late. Yeah, sorry, I was, I was typing something. Okay. Brent did the math very late on that. That. All right, so you're having sex before work at 9:50. I mean. Oh, and that's not our fault. We're paid to be hilarious and we're winning it and your husband can't turn us off.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, and do you want him kiss 1230?

[John Holmberg]

Don't come on that early in the morning. You ain't gonna get any of that funny stuff here on Kiss 1230. That's for sure. And Amanda, your left leg Isn't open as much as it needs to be. It's kind of fighting the system right now. We at KISS 1230 are looking out for our brother. We gonna make you laugh, but we just might make you all over your wife. Kiss 12:30 is gonna be live this weekend at a cold hot dog factory. One of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Just 12:30. Yeah, turn it on. Kiss 12:30. Amanda, what are you. What do you people listen to the someone who 98 KUPD for their morning show? Yeah, the morning show is not even last long. I guess that's your fault. Amanda, don't go emailing me that your husband is whispering funny things in your ear that we're saying while he's humping you. You're allowing him to have this show on. I mean, how could you be in the throes of passion and not hear Brady and not get a chuckle out of that? Come on. Amanda and her husband will love what I have to say now. Well, let's. I'll do that later. By the way, I loved the stuff yesterday. Somehow or another, Lizzo, still standing like, still wants to be known as sort of the fat. Like, she trolling. She trolled the sid. She's involved in the Sydney Sweeney thing, and she's not wrong. But there's a weird little tie to this, if you haven't seen it. Lizzo, the formerly humongous, now still big, but not humongous singer who was really body positive and said she was all happy about being fat and skinny. People were awful. This was the thing. And then she lost weight. Now she wants credit for that for being healthy. And it's like, good for you. Finally, someone got into your ear saying what you were doing is not healthy. She put out a tweet that said if Democrats won the election, and then put herself in an all denim suit as if to say, this is Sydney Sweeney. And then she said, my jeans are black. Right. So what she's essentially saying is, had the Democrats won the election, we would never have had the American Eagle ad that Sydney Sweeney is in. And again, way to go, dummies. American Eagle is getting all the free advertising you could ever imagine. So they're mad about Sydney Sweeney being hot. That's essentially all this comes down to. They're mad about her being hot and saying, I've got good genes because she's white. I suppose nobody cares. No. No male human being thinks I'm on a kick for that. Winnie Harlow. I told you guys about that. She's both. She's like literally a white person breaking out of a black person or a black person breaking out of a white person. I can't tell. But she's hot as hell. She's got great cheek. But she's basically saying, if Democrats won the election and she put a picture of herself in the denim. And I think that's insinuating that. I'm not saying it. I think she said it. Republican women are hotter that are thinner and better looking. Brett clearly agrees with that. His face is full of. He's just beaming with you. But you say if Democrats won't. Unattractive, unhealthy people would have been in that ad. Well, let's just look at it the way it is. Sydney Sweeney cans or Lizzo cans. Well, I mean, come on. Yeah. I want to live.

[Brady Bogan]

The point of being able to do that. You wouldn't be you. You. This would happen. It's still happening. What they put Sydney Sweeney on and they're still catching heat.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, they're basically saying.

[Brady Bogan]

You're saying you would even think about that if the.

[John Holmberg]

She's saying, in my opinion, the Democrats would have stopped the Sydney Sweeney at. They would have. Because they tried. Even now they're trying.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

But that's my point. If they were in, like, politics would have somehow another stepped in and said, it's racist. It's. I don't know how we're getting raced about anything. And by the way, every black guy I've talked to would bang Sydney Sweeney. They don't disagree with this. Like, yeah, I mean, she's a little narrow in the back, but okay. Over Lizzo. So she's basically saying politically that if Biden or Kamala were president, that you wouldn't have. We wouldn't have been allowed to see Sydney Sweeney being hot. That would have been. That would have been stopped in its tracks, which is why they lost the election. That's why the Democrats didn't win my vote. Yeah. If you said, if we're elected, no hot white women are allowed in ads, I'd be like. Like, that's no good. I want all. I don't care what color it is. I'm the Martin Luther King of hot. Whatever color it is, if it's hot, I'm into it. So she posts that and thinks that she made some sort of point against the Trump world. But what she did was basically say all Democratic women are fat and unattractive, and that's what we want to be. Okay. And backfired that's why Trump got 80 million votes. We don't want that. That's why toxic masculinity, as they call it, sort of won out. I don't understand that at all. And I think she feels like she made some sort of poignant statement. But are they basically saying she missed on the ad?

[Brady Bogan]

The denim needs to be.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's a lot of denim.

[Brady Bogan]

He said black jeans on.

[John Holmberg]

Right. She's wearing the blue jeans. Just, my jeans are black.

[Brady Bogan]

Point of the end.

[John Holmberg]

But she's saying that her. Like, she didn't take it as a double. Yeah, she did it as her G E, N E. I don't get it. I don't get how this caused so much trouble, you know? And again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You may not. I think a guy even emailed me the other day, said, I think Sydney Sweeney looks a little downsy, but she's got great cans. I see what you see. I'm not saying she's the hottest girl in the world, but she's, she's, she's, she draws the eye. And again, like I said yesterday, you look at her like, whoa. But wait, that's exactly what you said. Sydney Sweeney is not like top to bottom. Holy cow, the Gisele Buncheon factor. I always said, Tom Brady's wife. She's so hot. She's so hot. But wait, her nose, it's got my nose. That's not good. But, Lizzo, I guess the Republicans are gonna wrap their arms around you saying, if Democrats won the election, you'd have just seen big women in jeans. We don't want to see that. You can see that at Walmart every day. What you don't see at Walmart every day is someone who looks like Sydney Sweeney walking around in a pair of tight jeans. That's very rare. And that's okay, too. The other thing that's going on with race and I'm going to take it. I'm going to go the other. Like, I might have made some people. I'm going to go the other way with this one that. Have you seen the beat down in Cincinnati? So there was a, there was a street fight in Cincinnati where a white guy, and it was a lot of black people and a white guy and a few other others were at, I don't know where they were, a club or something. They're down in Cincinnati. And it turned into an absolute down beating of this white guy. Multiple people kicking, throwing blows, kicking him in the head, stomping him. Women got involved and A couple other white guys tried to stop. They took a couple of shots and everybody's calling it like, oh, this is terrible. Only one person out of probably 100 called 911 and they're like, this is awful. This is a terrible, what a tragedy. And it is. And I'm like. But then you watch and you realize the white guy took a swing first. And they say it's just a one on one confrontation. I'm going to tell you this, there's no audio of it. I haven't heard it. And if it has been out, I don't know it yet. There's no way that that group of people didn't hear the N word at one point. Nuclear? No, the other one. Because there's no reason and white guy a little bit to blame in this thing. You escalate that. If you're surrounded by a bunch of people of any race, it doesn't matter. And yeah. And you're the one outlier. Don't pick a fight. It doesn't make any sense. Now. It's bad and it's terrible that they just, they just wail on this. Have you seen the video? Brett, grab the video if you haven't seen the video. It's terrible to watch. This dude takes a beating, but everybody's trying to make him a victim. I think he might have asked for it. I hate to say that nobody asked for a beating like that, but if you look, I get it. In a perfect world, nobody should ever have to deal. You drop the wrong word in that crowd. If you're with a bunch of Mexicans and you start mouthing off and take a swing at one, you're getting stabbed, stabbed multiple times by multiple people. You're with a bunch of white supremacists.

[Brady Bogan]

Take different.

[John Holmberg]

It's a whole bunch of people when you're out types of action when you're outnumbered and you're escalating and you decide, I'm going to take, I'm going to take this on, you are asking for it. It's the escalation of a situation. Yes. In hindsight we should all say never. It should never happen. None of us should ever behave this way. Someone should have called 911. What about human? This one, it goes out the window when the mob mentality takes over. And I watch that video and the first thing I see is the dude smacking.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, well, he's got one case where the person that he swung at, right. Everyone else is assault.

[John Holmberg]

Everyone else is assault. Yes. They're probably gonna go to jail for it. However, I don't think it will. His beat down might have been his fault. It's not right. But if he. If it turns out he dropped a bomb in that crew, everyone. Everyone there is gonna kick his ass. You just don't do it. You walk away from that situation. You stand in that. I watched that whole thing, and I'm like, this poor. I don't feel sorry for him. He's doing stuff to escalate this. You can get a verbal altercation with one dude. If Brett and I are. If I'm at the 12th Street, Maryland, and I'm over at that Italian center with Brett, Brett. And I'm like, go. It's a deal with all the tank tops. The spaghetti sucks. And then Brett's like, oh, watch your mouth. I'm like, you watch your mouth. And he sees Brett. The whole place sees me, and Brett get up and I'm bowing up to Brett and I give him a smack. There's a bunch of Italians that are going to come over and take care of me. It doesn't matter what group you're in. When you're outnumbered by that group, if it's a bunch of Chargers, if it's a bunch of Charger fans, Dodger fans. Yeah. And a Bronco decides to take a swing at one, you're asking for trouble. I'm not saying here's what's going to happen. I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying you're asking for trouble. Here's the Beatdown. I don't know if it's clean. So this was on the news. So they're going to get in trouble for it because you're not allowed to fist fight in public. But this dude kind of asked for it. This is way after the beginning, but this is. This was the beatdown. You tell me right now that the reaction of that group of people didn't hear something they didn't like. There's no reason for the women to get involved in anything else. If it was just two dudes arguing. That dude said something really dumb. But I. I will say that the news that wants to sway it one direction is not showing him take the first swing, which he did. There we go. This is the one slap. And so he throws a slap at the guy. But I guarantee you. And then somebody else comes over and starts hitting me. He stays in it. He should have just turned and started running. What occurred? And I think that these people are going to be brought to justice. There are also several. Yeah, they should but the problem is, you started this. You have to recognize your surroundings. I don't care what it is I got up. Dodger fan. You're absolutely right. You wear a Giants thing to a Dodge. Then a bunch of alcohols in the mix, too, because I think they were coming out of a club. I think so. And they're coming out of a club. You know, it's different. Well, back. Back when they were up in Oakland. Go to the Raiders game. Anybody else? I worked for the Cardinals at that time. I didn't get to go in the road games, but I sat in that meeting that said, do not wear your Cardinal stuff. You will be attacked. Oh, it's terrible. The stuff that happened to some of those people is awful. Well, that guy knocked her out. But it's situational awareness also to be in a situation where you're outside of a club. Club, you're outnumbered by a group of people. No matter if they're. It's a color, if it's a. If it's a T shirt, if it's a group, if it's anything. If that was a. If that was one black guy and a bunch of white people. I'm not saying anyone deserves it. I'm saying you brought it on. That lady got trounced stepping into it. And what, she. She needed to step away, too?

[Brady Bogan]

Was she stepping away?

[John Holmberg]

Was she. No, she was right in the middle the of it pulling on people. It's horrible. It's a. The guy just picked her up and threw her down because, look, he jacks her right in the face. Oh, he does hit, right? Yeah, yeah, the dude hits her. But again, I'm. I'm assuming words are being said that shouldn't be said. You're asking for this escalation of a situation. It doesn't matter if it's right, wrong, or otherwise. You escalate it now. Yeah. The people who are in this video that are going to get caught, they're going to jail. That's good. And that doesn't. That doesn't matter what color anybody is. But I'm telling you right now, don't do it. It's a warning to all of us if you find yourself in a situation where, like, I am the fish out of water here. There is no reason for me to get into an argument with this Italian guy surrounded by dudes with zoot suits on and listening to Frank Sinatra. I should know my area better. That's dumb. And everybody wants to make this some, you know, race thing. It isn't a race thing. It's a dummy in and amongst a bunch of people where he's outnumbered. Doesn't matter what color it is. I've seen it happen at sporting events. Tribalism is a thing. One dude, and he says the. My guess is the N word happened. My guess is somebody spewed out a slur. Because for everyone to get mad, that isn't just about. Well, you know, you could see a few dudes jumping a guy. That's one thing they'll go to jail for. That ain't right. But that's bigger than they're making it out to be. That's a rough story, too. We do that at the Tactical black all the time. Do that de Escalation seminar. And then they put them in a scenario. And I've been the. And you don't realize you're in a bar by yourself. That's the scenario they put you in. You're in a bar by yourself. Bunch of drunks are over in a corner. They're trying to get you to come. Get over here. Come on. I'm by myself. I'm good. Come on. What, are we not good enough for you? And then you're like, oh, the answer to it every time is leave everybody time. That's biz nasty. That wasn't biz nasty. It wasn't a bunch of black guys either that was outnumbered by a bunch of drunk golfers. And he got involved. No, he was harassing the staff. All right? Next thing you know, you're running through a Walgreens parking lot with five drunks chasing you, and they don't know you, and you don't know them, and nobody knows who's carrying a gun or who has a knife or whatever. Tommy says maybe they were just mad at the white guy for having good genes. Now, see, that is not. That is. That is not. There's where Sydney Sweeney ruined it. Right? All. Yeah, I. I'm. We got to stop making everything racial and start making everything like, well, what was going on? Why was that guy doing that? I know. Looking at him.

[Brady Bogan]

But what you're saying it is racial.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm looking. I'm saying.

[Brady Bogan]

I bet you it started because the guy says.

[John Holmberg]

I'm saying it's. That's stupid on the white guy's part. And it becomes racial when you make it in bomb. Then it becomes racial. Then it becomes racial. But what it was, was stupid white guy standing in a group of people that were mad at him, and he. What are you. What are you going to do about it? I'll Fight. I'll fight all of you. Okay. You're running for mayor of Maryville. Look at you. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not defending the people who did the beating. I'm saying that it's. It's just in my mind now to sit back and recognize where you are. If I'm with a group of homeless people. Yeah. And I'm picking on one, they're gonna. They're gonna band together. We don't like to say that. You would hope someone would emerge and say, everyone, stop. But mobs don't listen. Groups don't listen. They get together. Look, it's truth of all of it. It's a fact. Don't do that. It's dumb. And everybody. You know, this is great for TV, great for news, and Fox is loving it, and CNN's loving it, and they just love it. The video is violent and it's got all the wrong answers. There's a one guy doing what. Everyone in this video is wrong. That's what I'm saying. Every single person in this video is wrong. Not calling 91 1's wrong. The White guy's an idiot for. For starting this thing. The black guys are dumber for all jumping in and getting filmed. The filming is the worst part. You're gonna. You're ratting everybody out unintentionally. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. It's John Holmberg here from 98 KUPD. And I've got Bodhi from Newac.unit.com. this guy is flipping the H vac world upside down. Bodhi, tell him what you're doing. We've cut out the process, so you're not paying for sales commissions or showroom markups. Just go online, pick the brand name unit you want, and boom. We show you the real price with install right there. A 100% money back guarantee. And we only work with a plus rated licensed contractors to complete the installation. We're local, we're honest, and we're all about saving you Money. Visit new ac unit.com and see your price before you buy. New ac unit.com. no pressures, no surprises, just savings. It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness. Thrilled to tell you about my friends at Turf Monsters Backyard Living Space. You either have it or you don't. It doesn't matter if you've got a huge yard or a little one. Making outdoor living space a priority is great for you, your home, your pets. The turf they put in looks amazing. 365 days a year they added in a putting green. I have a beautiful backyard space. My dogs love that I love. And the script has been flipped. So if you see your yard as a job, stop it. Go to turfmonstersaz.com, say Homebrew Extension. Get 10% off your vision. Turfmustersaz.com hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number won best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming, and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu.mo. and don't just study tech. Live it. Holmberg's morning sickness. I'm down there in South Phoenix, and I get into a verbal altercation, and I happen to notice there's 14 other dudes standing there dressed like the one I'm mad at. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. There's nothing more important to winning an argument than surviving. You know? Like, how in the world is that a thing that people think, well, I need to stand up for myself, be a man? No. See what happens when you try to be a man and you're in the wrong spot and people will go to jail. But let's just analyze ourselves for a second because it's going to create, like, a racist thing. Oh, the black guy's just all attacked. I'm like, no, something happened in there. That guy was an idiot. Everyone in that video is wrong. There's no hero, and there's kind of no victim. You were in the. You were in a dumb place doing dumb things. You know what? Play dumb games, win dumb prizes.

[Brady Bogan]

Other than that one lady just waiting for her husband to finish up, finish.

[John Holmberg]

Up with a fight. Just wait.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's get back in the car.

[John Holmberg]

Boom. Yeah. Yeah. When my husband's done fighting the Globetrotters, we're gonna go home. Hang on, let me see how long, honey, how long it's. And she's out. Recognize your area. Everybody's got that. Nobody's saying the right thing about this. Everybody's like, isn't this terrible? Somebody. No, what's terrible is a street fight broke out. Out. And everyone was wrong. Especially if you're adult. You know what should never happen when you're an adult? If you want to get into the real thing, you should Ever get into a street fight? If you're a grown up, you should never get into a fist fight with another grown up ever. At a bar just because of what someone said or. You looked at my girls like you're the. You're just dumb. Walk away. It's more manly to leave.

[Brady Bogan]

Relax. It was just the screening of the Naked Gun.

[John Holmberg]

You don't need to get. It's true. People got a little upset. Why were you talking through the whole movie? You guys, you wouldn't say that. I'm not going to a black movie theater and going, shh. I know better. And you know what? A black guy isn't going over to the Biltmore movie theater and going, come on, Liam. Come on now. Excuse me. Will you please be quiet? Excuse me, Holmes. Yeah. That dude recognizes. I better be quiet. It. It's. I think it's from sports. I think I recognize it from sports. I watched that when I was seven years old. That dumb Dolphins fan at Three River Stadium unfurling that pennant at Three River Stadium in a playoff game in the snow. Rip. My dad just grabbed me. He goes, here, hold on a second. That was back in the day. There was nobody in security at. They beat the crap out of that guy. Guy like 8 Steeler fans. It was a close game. It was a frustrating game. I'm a little kid and I was frustrated. These adults watch some dude rub it in their face for half a second. The beatdown was fat. It was swift. When you're outnumbered and you can tell by the uniforms walk away. But I'm watching the news last night and they're trying to make us all go crazy, easy. Everyone in this video is wrong. Everyone. And all he did was say the N word. Nuclear. I'm sure that's what he said. That's exactly what he said. Bread. Nuclear. He called someone nuclear and it went nuclear quickly. Yeah, I don't. I don't watch those things and think to myself, golly, everybody's this side's wrong or that side's wrong. Whenever I see grown ups fighting, I assume, everyone wrong. It's like in prison, you know, it's not that different out here than it is in prison, except for they admit it. We're in groups. You don't wander over to the Aryan Nation and start calling names unless you got backup. And if you don't shut your mouth.

[Brady Bogan]

It just seems like maybe it's me, but it seems like these fights escalate a lot quicker.

[John Holmberg]

I know why dumb people realize I'm a. I'm A man up, they escalate quicker. Because dumb guys won't just go, sorry about that. The real manly thing, the real thing a man would do is go, I'm sorry, this is out of hand. I apologize. You don't know that guy. What's the harm in saying, I'm sorry and letting him walk away going, ah, scared like, you bet I am sorry about that. And you walk away. No, you bow up, you take a swing at him, and what happens next? You're laying in the road and Fox News is calling you a victim. Something you did is in there that nobody's talking, talking about. I said, by the way, John, I think you might be right. It was a jazz festival highlighting black artists and culture. Boy, did those white people learn the hard way about the culture. That's true. It must have been like modern jazz. This guy just says, f you. You're a white hating f tard. Why would a white guy pop off in front of a group of Bloods and Crips? Nobody said they were Bloods and Crips. It was a jazz festival. Then these racial slurs were probably harassing the white man and he stood his ground and got beat down. Because racial slur mentality is to kill first and ask questions later. You're truly a worthless moron. Thank you, John Bissonnette. Off you go. Go listen to something else. I don't want people that talk like that listening to me anyway. So you think he's John Bissonnette? You think he's a smart white man who stood his ground in that group? When. If what you're saying is true, that a black person's mentality is to kill first and ask questions later, you still think the white guy's smart for standing in there. If that's a well known fact, you dumbass. If that's a thing. You're calling me a white hater because I'm trying to say this white guy should have walked away. And you're saying, oh, black people kill first, ask questions later. And you still think it was a good idea to stand your ground. You're a dumb. Period. End of story. Go listen to something else, dude. Nobody wants you around. You're. You're. You're an idiot. All I'm saying is when you stand up to a group of people that are not the same and you're the only one there, bad things can happen and bad odds. The odds are not stacked against you. Especially when you believe what this idiot believes, that there's an entire group of people that'll kill first and ask questions later. So it's real important to make sure you stand your ground. Are you. Are you listening to me? Walk away. You can still be racist and alive and walk away, dumbass. Gotta stand my ground against an entire group of people that will kill first and ask questions later. I hope you do that someday.

[Brady Bogan]

On principle.

[John Holmberg]

Now, I do believe there's a hypocrisy with the way it would be handled if it was reversed. I do believe that the news would make this a full on like marches in the streets thing. And that's also wrong. Everyone's wrong in that video. White hating. Come on. I love being white. It's amazing. Idiots.

[Brady Bogan]

My friend Tom Brannaman had a good time that night. No fight.

[John Holmberg]

That's right out in the natty. I wonder if Tom was at the jazz festival. Boy, oh boy. I'm not getting involved in that. That. That's the dumbest email I've ever gotten. 25 years. Congratulations, John. You have the dumbest email I've ever received. That is saying something. Come down here.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's fight.

[John Holmberg]

And I knew talking about this. No, I'm not. I know. Look, if you came up and wanted to fight him, like, calm down. You want to bow up, you're going to go to jail. You're an idiot. He probably would. I knew talking about this would make people mad because you have to take your tribal side, which is my point. If I said as a white man, hey, he probably did something wrong, Suddenly I hate whites. If you stand up for anything that you look at and you go, that's not my tribe. But I could like, this is a bad situation. Oh, there's going to get so many people like, no, it's white versus black. It isn't. It's dumb versus smart. That's it. And there are hypocrisies and there are all sorts of stuff. Maybe he asked a brother to do an only fans that could be. And that's a different kind of brother. Onlyfans that we're talking know. Yeah, says John. There's a party of people going down Saturday and it's a bunch of crazy people who will kill you. And you believe that to be true. Are you going to go to that show? No, I wouldn't. If I truly believe that. Idiots. Too many.

[Brady Bogan]

Stay away from my hellcat.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. There's a lot of hellcats that are going to get scrapped. Yes. Common sense is lost on idiots. John, preach. I'm not trying to preach. I'm trying to say smart versus dumb. Is more important than black versus white. And we've lost that completely. Yeah. When you go to a show, check the parking lot out and see, you know, what's parked out there. What did I tell you about the time my black friend Todd pissed off the Hell's Angels, accidentally stepped on the toe of a Hell's angel at Webb Theater at a cult show. And Todd ran down or was going down the stairs. And everybody got up. And I said, todd's in truck. And I turned to go help him, thinking at the very least I could de escalate by talking. And when I realized I was on the staircase with about 45 Hell's Angels chasing a black guy, I joined the Hell's Angels immediately. It had nothing to do with white and black. It had everything to do with preservation of self. And I remember standing down there with Todd going, we gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go. And the one.

[Brady Bogan]

What'd you do?

[John Holmberg]

We left. Well, the black security guard at the bottom him screamed, run. And Todd did, and he did. And that became very. But what Todd didn't do is bow up because he thought he had backup. With me, I was running. I saw the writing on the wall. Being friends with Todd was detrimental to my life at that point.

[Brady Bogan]

But the whole reason that started is he stepped on the toe. And the guy was like, reacting. And Todd's reaction could have been much.

[John Holmberg]

He said, I'm sorry. The guy goes, watch it. And then he goes, f you. And Todd goes, f me. F you. Had no idea. Good day. Just thought this old man got pissed off and then. And evidently stepped on the leader's toe. Everyone backed it up, and they couldn't wait to get down those stairs to be both. Both. There were two staircases. They. They covered both sides. Oh, horrifying. But what Todd didn't do is go. You want to go? It would have been the end of him. The end of him. It's terrible. Now let's see Johnette have himself the same situation and see if he's that badass when he's waking up in the ER for standing his ground. Yeah, be smart. That's all I'm saying. I don't care what race it is. Be smart. If you're a black guy and you're in and amongst a bunch of angry white dudes and you start mouthing off the. I'm not saying it's the right thing, but it's very possible. Guys telling me I hate white people. I love white people. Not all of them. Them ton of who are white. I don't like any race. I've said that before. I. I hate all races. I like people. Individuals. Now he's taking a beating. Hey, Bisnet. You're that dumbass that goes and punches the coach because your kid in a little team. Little League team sucks. Everyone else's fault but yours. Grow up. Hey, Bisson. That. Go eat a cold hot dog. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I can't believe they went there.

[John Holmberg]

That's funny. Enough of this race talk, John. That's gay. Let's hear more about Brady taking the ass from his brother. Yeah, that's true. That's where this show really thrived. Smart as going to a Slayer concert decked out in Redskins gear and handing out blankets. Exactly. Thank you for understanding. Put it in terms our listeners can understand. I'm the one person that's not making this about race. And they'll. And it's still impossible for people not to see it. And the what if crew will come out. Well, what if it was reversed? It wasn't. What if it was? We don't know. You don't know for sure. You want to play the what if? That's what wives do. When you said it reminded me of the time. And what if I said it's like none of this actually happened? Happened? You're comparing it to something that isn't real. So just go with what you know and be smarter.

[Brady Bogan]

If it was reversed, there would have just been a missing person.

[John Holmberg]

Very possibly true. Look, it's a thing. All I'm saying is. And you can yell at me all you want. Be smarter. This guy said it. Dude. Simple phrase. Read the goddamn room. Exactly. So it's the Internet's fault. Being able to call people slurs from 3,000 miles away has crippled the ability to people to read the effing room. You want to drop a hard R in the privacy of your own home? Hell yeah, brother. Go nuts. But don't shout it in Compton. Nope. It's the funny line in the vacation. Roll them up. They knew they weren't supposed to be there. Mind your P's and q's. That's why it says red tip. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna talk to my cousin. He's down there. Torino with no wheels. And what happened? What you would expect to happen when a fish out of water starts swimming around in the wrong spot. You get honky lips painted on your car. And you deserved it. I never forget being a little kid. My dad accidentally crossed the border. First white man to illegally break into Mexico ever. At Juarez. He somehow found a Fast lane. And we zipped right. He goes, jesus Christ, we're in Mexico. And that was like, immediately. We weren't supposed to. He got on the wrong road and he popped in this little. It was late at night and we're going. And he didn't know anything. We. We went to Mexico. So unprepared as easterners who had just moved to Albuquerque, my dad couldn't wait to see the old west. Boy, was he disappointed. He thought Mexico was just going to be tumbleweeds. Guys with hats pulled down in these blankets. Hola. The three amigos, basically. Exactly. We get into Juarez and it was like, oh, my God. And I just remember him screaming, what the hell is all this? Alto. What does that mean? And he wanted stop signs to. They stop and people are blowing through him. Does that mean stop? It's the same shape as us. What the. Is Alto Lost his mind. We gotta get out of here. He knew where we were. He knew we didn't know what we were doing. And we were possibly in peril because you present yourself as a victim. Be smart. Somebody said, hey, John Bissonnette, Go slob on Mike Tanner's flaccid knob. Yeah, I don't want to attack the guy. Too bad. He's Mike.

[Brady Bogan]

Or callback.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Mike Tanner with his placid winner. No, the dude that's all angry. John Bisson. I'm a white hating f tard. And then he goes on to slur away. Well, if that's representation of the white race, maybe I am. If you're the. If you're the guy holding the mantle for white. I'm not sure I'm too proud of it. I happen to think that all races suck. All of them. People prove themselves individually. Races are. The worst thing that's ever happened to society is that we banded together and had to agree with each other based on one thing. Come on. Stupid. And that's another thing about sports being awesome. I can go to a store and see a white supremacist in a Steeler shirt. Not know it fist bump. A black guy who hates me. Not know it fist bump if he's in a Steeler shirt. We unite over that. It's a weird thing that all of your strange hangups about society kind of go away when you see a guy who cheers for Jerome Bettis, too. It's weird. And then we take those jerseys off and we become these strange monsters that are trapped in the skin that makes us one thing or the other. I am Martin Luther King. I am amazing, right now it's like women going to the Middle east with no beekeeper outfit, John. Eating pork, showing their ankles. Whores are gonna get hunger stoned, and then they're gonna try to say it's Brittney Griner going to Russia, saying, well, my rules are different. No, you knew. You knew what you were doing. I knew it would be trouble to even bring it up. I ain't scared. Most of the people I'm talking to are probably on the same page. Page. This guy says, come on, John, Hell's Angels, they all ride Harley's. And you know, Harley riders would have just held the dude down and kissed him. I don't know. I don't know if that's a guy who's tribal about Indian. You can go f yourself. He said Harley riders are all gay. Is that a thing? Is that a battle between Indian riders and Harley all the way around? No, it's the. It's Harley. Think Indians. Oh, that's. Any other riders? Yeah. Well, yeah, they ride Hondas and Suzuki's and things like that. I don't know if that's a bike, but. Yeah, I understand that. Yeah, good old American Harleys. But the Harley and Indian guys get along. That's what I figured. What do you. American made bikes. That's what I thought. The American guys. Yeah. If you've been to a Slayer concert, the last thing you want to do is start going back to the reservation. Everyone. You jerks ain't gonna end well. Your new nickname is going to be Custer. It's Friday, John. Can you talk about farts or cans or something, for God's sakes, man? Yeah, no, I just wanted to bring this up. And the crazy thing is, I've probably gotten that video sent to me about 10 times. Did you see this? See this? Yeah. What do you think? I'll tell you what I think. I think everybody in the video is wrong. Every single person in. Isn't racist. It's stupid. Everyone is dumb. Be smarter. That's all I'm saying. Now back to Brady taking one of the astronomy. It is Friday afternoon. It is Friday. I got a little heavy on a Friday. But Brady ain't heavy. Tom's his brother. What do you got on the big board of musicals?

[Brady Bogan]

Good brother.

[John Holmberg]

He's a good brother. What do you got there? All right. Wake up. Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Pedal your way away from the trouble and no better way to do it than on a brand new bike from. From Action Ride Shop. Brand new pivots in stock as well as Santa Cruz and Rocky Mountain. You name it, they got it. If they don't, they'll get it. And if you got that old bike in the garage, you don't want to pick up a new one. Best wrenches in town. They'll fix whatever you got. From huffies to pivots, they got you covered. It's Action Ride Shop. Two locations right there. The brand new one at power Road and McDowell, which is a really cool store off the Haas trailhead. And of course, the OG On Gilbert Road in Southern. It is Action Ride Shop. All right, what do you got on the list? Got concerts I can rock from, shine down the shows tomorrow, Fly from the Inside, and then Diamond Dies, Bullet for My Valentine, Primus, Kenny Logan, Celebrate Me Home for your, Brady and Tom Brady and Tom. Theme songs are my.

[Brady Bogan]

I am going to that show tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Are you? You going to see Primus tonight?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You and Kirby?

[Brady Bogan]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Who you going with?

[Brady Bogan]

Jimmy Bon Jovi.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. You two are gonna go together now. All right, Two Primus guys. You're gonna. That'll work. You like the Primus?

[Brady Bogan]

I've never seen him, but my. The last time they were in town.

[John Holmberg]

They're good lives. Oh, they're fun. Yeah, man, it's amazing.

[Brady Bogan]

You gotta see them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I wasn't real excited to see the. The one time the. When they were doing the Willy Wonka.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, I was. That's one time I wanted to see him badly. They're loud, man. Turn down those miracle ears like you.

[Brady Bogan]

I want to hear songs that I know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, the ones you don't know get weird fast. And they are allowed.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That is a loud man. He plays with instruments you've never seen or heard of. I just want to hear him do the south park theme song. That's all I care about. That's awesome. He's got that. That machine that he made out of his guitar. It's awesome. What else? We got the Hives Countdown and shut down for the D backs. Trading pretty much everyone over. Metallica, Deftones, White Zombie. Welcome to planet Mother Ear Refer, which is kind of what's going on. Manson, Paparo, Body count, manslaughter for the toxic masculinity that's going on. And Slipknot People equals S. Yeah, boy. That's a good one, too. People equal us. So true. So true. Andre's a black listener and he says if you hear the phrase stay away from my hellcat, stay away from it is do not turn and stop, say, I'm going to fight you, mother effer It's a bad idea. Brady's a racist. I blame you, John. I'm like, I don't know what happened there, but stay away from. Listen to Andre. He knows. He said, I'm on my way to fight you, Brady. I can't believe you said, stay away from my hellcat. Hellcat's a nice car. I don't know why that would be considered a bad thing to own, but it is a. It's called the eye of a certain group of people. Let's do it. People equal crap. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. It's John Holberg here. Sh away for my friends at New Vision Autoglass. Brady just had his windshield replaced. Toledo just had his windshield replaced. And Brett evidently got jealous because his windshield got cracked on his drive to work the other day. New Vision Auto Glass, they're your best friends. They'll fix that ugly busted glass, then give you up to $300 back and you'll get dinner at the world famous Brazilian steakhouse Rodizio Grill. Go to New Vision autoglass.com, see what you qualify for, then get it fixed. Call 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondback. All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week downtown at stand Up Live. Justin Willman and Nick Murphy will entertain you in Tempe at the Improv. You have comedy vet Flip Orly doing his thing and then he'll also be performing at the Desert Ridge Improv on the north end of town along with up and coming comedian Amir K. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempe improv.com It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness for Life. Changerloan.com A guy I know is going through a divorce, which stinks for him. He's trying to figure out how much it's going to take to pay off the future ex wife. You got bills you want to consolidate. You got some stuff you want to take care of, Go ahead and do it. Or if you're just really good with money and you want to get out of that mortgage as fast as possible, Life Changer loan is the way to do it. Average customer saves about 250, 000 in interest. House is paid off in about 5 years. Life changer loan. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com. you thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? All right, there you go. Foo right there. No way back. They got their new drummer name. Do you know who was switched out out? Yeah, they know.

[Brady Bogan]

They had was at Nine Inch Nails.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the nine Inch Josh Freeze. And then they switched out to the guy that was in Nine Inch Nails. And now he's with Nine Inch Nails. And the dude from Nine of Snails is drummer swap. Well, it's kind of a drummer swap because it was a firing. And then that dude left and he's now that. Now that Nine Inch Nails guy is going to the food. This dude just got it. He saw the opening and went in. They didn't just say, we'll trade you because they got rid of their drummer a while ago. Got rid of a couple of drummers. One not such a pleasant way. Other Spinal Tapping drummers over there at the Foo. It's no way back. 7:53 Here in the morning sickness. And it's time now for Brady to climb up off the bottom and give you all the news that he knows. We call this the Brady Report brought to you by All Pro Shade Dot com. The guys at Diamond Coatings came by yesterday and they told me, oh, you want coatings AZ Desert or Diamond desert? Diamond desert. Huh? What?

[Brady Bogan]

I call it Diamond.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that wrong?

[Brady Bogan]

Diamond coatings Az.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's what you said. Desert.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I got them all.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're a mess. Stop it. I was telling my story, damn it. Anyway, they came over and they saw this thing. They gave me another idea for All Pro Shade that I'm going to do. This is amazing when you start seeing, oh, I can do this and I can do that. And I think it was Sean that told me. He said, oh, yeah, you can get this here. Robert will do that over at All Pro. And I'm like, oh, oh, amazing. So, yeah, you start looking around at things, you're like, oh, I didn't even think of that. They can kind of do everything. They're coming to my house to get that done. I got to get them all lined up and started because I've got an area. I can't even walk at night without shoes. It's so hot on the pavers and it'll drop those temperatures down. And that's what you want. All Pro Shade can make it so your backyard area is more inhabitable, more livable, more beautiful, Beautiful than it ever has been. And it's all tied to your house in ways that make it look good. It's not just strapped on there and sticking out. It benefits your home. It's great for resale as well. It's a benefit. It's a. It's an addition. It's a gonna make your property values go up too. Plus you can block your neighbors if you want. Drop one of those shields down. Those look good too. Check it all out. All their pictures [e-mail] as well. And see if you've got a spot in your yard you'd like. A little more shade. All Pro Shades aid they bring you this Brady Report. Brady reporter.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Friday morning to you. Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello world. We made it. Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy National Girlfriend Day.

[John Holmberg]

Kumar Day.

[Brady Bogan]

Nope. It's girlfriends.

[John Holmberg]

That's. Oh for friend. For ladies.

[Brady Bogan]

Not the. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Not the goomar.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Or not. Dude with girlfriend. It's for girls at Postino's Day. Well, congratulations to the manufacturer's charcuterie boards. Because they're going to be floating around all day drinking those weird. Like those drinks that come in fish bowls.

[Brady Bogan]

You might have saw this. The world's oldest baby was born.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not sure how that works.

[Brady Bogan]

From an embryo from 1994. I like the way they lead that. So it was a 30 year old.

[John Holmberg]

Cool.

[Brady Bogan]

30 year old embryo. Frozen. Thawed it out.

[John Holmberg]

So that thing should have been been thrown out by Sloughed off lady bits through a period years ago. And they saved it in a freezer since the Clinton administration.

[Brady Bogan]

Lindsay.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Term one.

[Brady Bogan]

His nickname should be Slough.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's what we're calling him.

[Brady Bogan]

The kid's name is Thaddeus Daniel Pierce.

[John Holmberg]

No. Wait a minute. His. His mother. Yeah. Is still the same mom. Or is this? She just froze her eggs and then sold them to somebody original.

[Brady Bogan]

The woman who originally froze the embryo made it a veil. Available.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

She's no longer needed.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna say because she's got to be 60. Yeah. At least.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. The new mother said we didn't just go into it thinking we'd break any records. We just wanted to have a baby.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever egg they gave her, she was taken. She didn't ask the age of it. One of them Civil War eggs she'd have taken that come out with a little racist.

[Brady Bogan]

She said it was a rough birth, but we're doing well now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. His first words were the south shall rise again. She had the little Mountain Dew man. Excuse me. Could I ask you where these eggs came from? Oh, it was a experiment back in 1863.

[Brady Bogan]

It was in 2022. There's twin babies were born to an Oregon couple after they were frozen for 30 and a half years. But this one's Oregon long.

[John Holmberg]

We want to name your baby. We want to name him Braden. I'm sorry, but I believe my name will be Tiberius F. Stone Jr. I am an 1860s embryo and I will live life as such. You, my friend, will call me as such. Tiberius F. Gotta say, quite an attitude. Well, he's over 200 years old.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple of baseless fun facts. The majority of people in Canada don't use the term colored pencils. Oh, they call them pencil crayons.

[John Holmberg]

Pencil crayons.

[Brady Bogan]

There's only one actor besides Harrison Ford who is in all three of the original Indiana Jones movies.

[John Holmberg]

Only one other actor was in all of them?

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Was it the little. The fat little. What was his name? Salah Jonathan. Is that right? No, he's not at all. He's not the first one.

[Brady Bogan]

It was a guy named Pat Roach.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brady Bogan]

Was killed by the airplane propeller.

[John Holmberg]

The big Raiders.

[Brady Bogan]

And a bad guy in Temple of Doom. And a Nazi in the Last Crusade.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. Was he any cruddy ones that even followed that? The Ice Box. Box of aliens. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't Just in the original three.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

The longest streak of sold out games and sports for a minor league. Minor league baseball team. It's in Ohio. The. The Dayton Dragons. They've sold out every game for the past 25 years. Which is a total of more than 1612 games in a row.

[John Holmberg]

And now still got going.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Have you been to a Dragons game?

[Brady Bogan]

I have no. Billy Bob Thornton has a phobia of antiques. Refuses to stay in a room that has furniture from earlier than 1950.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly why I don't like being in a room with you, Brady. You're feeling a little ancient.

[Brady Bogan]

And his ma and his brother Billy.

[John Holmberg]

I just met a baby that's an antique. It's Tiberius F. Stone. He calls him himself. That's a deal with sandwiches. And you, Brady. And get more of them than that kid from Bad Santa.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a woman in Ohio named Tia McCrary. And she went to a Taylor Kia dealership in February last year. She bought a 2022 Kia K5. They helped her finance it through a lending company and Tia was pre approved for the loan. But a month later the company decided they didn't want to finalize the loan.

[John Holmberg]

They changed their mind about her.

[Brady Bogan]

So the dealership went out and repoed the car while Tia was at work.

[John Holmberg]

So wait. She Left the. The center without a loan. And they let her have the car for 30 days. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Waiting for the loan to happen.

[John Holmberg]

I've gotten a loan in the past. And you just sit and wait to get approved. Yeah. Then you're not letting you go home. This. She blew somebody for this car. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Pre approved.

[John Holmberg]

No, she wasn't approved. She was not approved, John, Just not credit wise. Well, then you're not pre approved what you're saying? Yeah, yeah, pre approval. She gurgled on that.

[Brady Bogan]

So evidently what they're saying, it was approved. And then the company that was doing the loan decided, no, we're not going to do this.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Matt Penfield. But she already had the car, so they repoed the car back. Tia was looking into her legal options. She discovered that the car dealership failed to renew the registration of their business name. Tia Kia of Lima. Or Lima, Ohio. Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

That's okay.

[Brady Bogan]

So she registered under her own name. Then she went to the dealership.

[John Holmberg]

I'm so lost.

[Brady Bogan]

Like she basically said didn't register their name name. She registered it under the key. The. The Taylor Kia dealership.

[John Holmberg]

What does she got any control over the registration of?

[Brady Bogan]

Because it was up. They didn't renew.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

The name. So she renewed. She stole the name.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand any of this.

[Brady Bogan]

She stole the name of the dealership.

[John Holmberg]

I could say I own Bill Luke. And it doesn't matter where. How do you steal the name of the dealership?

[Brady Bogan]

They didn't trademark the name.

[John Holmberg]

Like she went and got it legally. Yep. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

And so then she gave him a cease and desist letter saying you can't call it Taylor Kia.

[John Holmberg]

It's hers now. Yep. So she got him back over ikea?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, lady. Yeah. Have some standards. Christ. Called Carvana. Get yourself a Kia and you're. You're creating a stink for no reason. It was a 2022 Kia. Her credit score was so bad that they offered her 30 days later. Later. You need to go to Tia Ferrari or something. Not Kia. What are you doing? I know you're mad at the Kia. A used one at that. They'll just. They'll just change it to something else. What a loony story that was over.

[Brady Bogan]

A Kia and it's still in court. They haven't.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Cuz why not fight over a $22,000 car for years on end.

[Brady Bogan]

Give us our dealership name. This is kind of scary. There was a radioactive wasp nest found in South Carolina.

[John Holmberg]

Wasps nest? Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

Savannah river site, just across the border of Augusta, Georgia. The US Military Made plutonium there. During the Cold War. Officials found a wasp nest.

[John Holmberg]

A what?

[Brady Bogan]

A wasp nest.

[John Holmberg]

Wasps nest. How many wasps? Say it again. I'm going to hear this. That again.

[Brady Bogan]

And test showed that the nest was radioactive.

[John Holmberg]

What kind of nest?

[Brady Bogan]

A wasp nest.

[John Holmberg]

Solid. What is in a wasp.

[Brady Bogan]

But usually insects.

[John Holmberg]

Well played.

[Brady Bogan]

It was a moderate amount.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. Like a wasp. Is it a white Anglo Saxon Protestants nest or. I just want to hear you say it again.

[Brady Bogan]

One of my favorite bands.

[John Holmberg]

Without paper wasp. Yeah, they're good. You know, they added. They had a family. They all lived together in one house. You know what the house is called?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, the wasp house.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's plural. We're going over to the.

[Brady Bogan]

The wasps.

[John Holmberg]

You told me you almost defend Brett every time you say it. The WAPS house. Damn it.

[Brady Bogan]

Nest only tested for a hundred thousand.

[John Holmberg]

What Nest.

[Brady Bogan]

DPN disintegrations per minute.

[John Holmberg]

Never letting it go. It's 24 years. We found one. He can't do it all. Wasps. That was a lot of work. Get a new microphone.

[Brady Bogan]

And now it's time for some science moves.

[John Holmberg]

He's running from that. Running from a lot of my friends.

[Brady Bogan]

Professor Brady, Poker with your science.

[John Holmberg]

Nuclear wasps.

[Amir K]

Please be some wasps News.

[John Holmberg]

What's this? What? Yeah, he said it wrong too. Don't you chime in with the. If you're gonna mess it up yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

A study found the smell of woman's armpit. The BO can be relaxing for men and relieve stress. But only during certain times of the month.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Every 20 days. We avoid you.

[Brady Bogan]

You just stick. It's when they ovulate. That's when we're.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's every day. It's the opposite. We don't like them at all when they ovulate.

[Brady Bogan]

The study. Another study found it might be possible to vaccinate people using dental floss. Researchers try it out on mice. They clean their tiny teeth using floss coated with an inactive flu virus. And it worked.

[John Holmberg]

Women's armpits smell like Corn Nuts to me. When they're getting going. It's kind of universal. I was. One of the grossest things that happened at the Rah Rah room was Kinsey the waitress walked by and she goes, I'm gaming. I'm like, let me see. And she came over and I just gave her a whiff. And I'm like. Maybe she lifted her arm a little and I kind of got close. And I'm like, yeah, that's Corn nuts. You're having trouble today. Wow. I'm working hard and they dress them in tuxedos. It can't be. Be easy, but it's. That's what I realized. Kind of like they all sweat. Corn nuts stink. Original flavor. None of that dirty powder. And it wasn't bad. Like, you think about it. It's like, I like corn nuts. I don't want to smell like corn nuts.

[Brady Bogan]

Another study found humans might have the genes needed to hibernate. We just have to tweak them a little bit. Experts say it could unlock all sorts of new treatments for things like diabetes and obesity. Hey, animals that hibernate can lose weight quickly without affecting their health because they're not eating. Put you down, put you asleep for two weeks.

[John Holmberg]

Sleep for a couple weeks. You wake up and you got abs.

[Brady Bogan]

John, you heard without papers from Brady.

[Amir K]

I heard Cardi B.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Wet ass. I want to hear Brady sing that. Damn it. Big bees.

[Brady Bogan]

In the wilderness. News.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

Wildlife news.

[John Holmberg]

We have a segment you. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, no, no, no. This is science.

[John Holmberg]

Science.

[Brady Bogan]

Researchers found a type of European songbird that they thought they. It would make the birds mate for life. Found out. No, they're. Some of them are getting divorced now.

[John Holmberg]

Good.

[Amir K]

Earth shattering, this.

[Brady Bogan]

What's happening?

[John Holmberg]

Wait. Adele got divorced, but they didn't know that.

[Brady Bogan]

It always thought these birds were basically monogamous.

[John Holmberg]

They caught one with a goomar.

[Brady Bogan]

They're catching multiple. In the name of the bird.

[John Holmberg]

The goomar. Oor hooah.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think I can say it.

[John Holmberg]

If it's wasp, give it a shot. Give it a shot. He's got a button. Go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

You got a button.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what you're gonna say.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you're gonna have to dump that.

[John Holmberg]

We'll see.

[Brady Bogan]

This is the name of the bird.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you toy with it?

[Brady Bogan]

This is the legitimate name of the bird.

[John Holmberg]

Play with the vowel to where it's not the curse.

[Brady Bogan]

Great teats.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. There you go. Oh, yeah. Those are real birds. Yeah. You can say it, but it's dangerous to try to say say it. And you don't need trip calling you up going, I need to talk to you and your banker. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

So the point is, even a set of great te can't keep a marriage together.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, if they're. But Brady, if they're all great, it's tough for the male great to wander around and not see them.

[Brady Bogan]

The first Australian made rocket launched Queensland on Wednesday immediately crashed. It barely got off the ground. It was in the air for 14 seconds. The company behind it called. Called a strong Result.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they expected 10 seconds Rocky. It had Foster's written on the side. Just a big can.

[Brady Bogan]

And they scrapped. Netflix and NASA joined force forces yesterday to broadcast the launch of the SpaceX Crew 11 mission to the space station. They called it off a minute before it launched.

[John Holmberg]

You're missing a lot of words in your sentence.

[Brady Bogan]

What am I missing?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. It's not coming across real clean today. And that's saying something. Brett and I looked at each other. I don't know. There was cohesion. Yeah, yeah, you got it.

[Brady Bogan]

We got Netflix and NASA joined forces.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yesterday to broadcast the launch of the Space SpaceX Crew 11 mission.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, there it is. The periods and the commas were all screwed up. In the last one, they're heading to the space station because the word mission.

[Brady Bogan]

They scrapped it a minute before lifting.

[John Holmberg]

Gotcha. Okay. It's going off today sometime because an Australian rocket.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a picture of the great teeth.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, thanks. Right on time. It's good looking bird. And now they've. Now they're swingers. They swing now? Yeah. They used to be maybe. Maybe one of them, you know, drifted from the. Maybe like Mormons. And they're like, you know what, let's give this a try. And then it went from this whole everybody's on the same page to one guy drifting out. Next thing you know, they're all kind of into it. Like great teats are now swinger. Yeah, that's how religion works. Religion used to be like, no, we only do this. We're monogamous. Then one guy goes, but I'm not like, how's that working out? Pretty awesome. And then another guy did it. Next thing you know, everybody's doing.

[Brady Bogan]

That's your science news. Got a guy in California, Freddie Salario. He was arrested for burglarizing a Little league facility, stealing over $4,000 worth of equipment.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, that's a lot of equipment.

[Brady Bogan]

He wasn't stealing old gear and baseballs. He got into the storage areas and had the power tools.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all the lawn equipment.

[Brady Bogan]

Wanted to basically pawn those off cuz.

[John Holmberg]

You can't sell old Little league helmets and hats and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

He was caught on surveillance camera was recognized due to his criminal history. The did a story on it and one kid asked, why are you stealing from this local little league League? We're just trying to have fun here.

[John Holmberg]

And he's saying, I have a criminal history. You guys hired me. That's your mistake.

[Brady Bogan]

There's four grand worth.

[John Holmberg]

You put a guy with a criminal history in charge of something and left him alone. And the best job I could get was maintaining the shed of the stuff the Little League had. I'm gonna steal some of that. It's just gonna happen.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's get to a couple of radio videos.

[John Holmberg]

And I have to say, I don't think he was recognized because of his criminal history. He's probably recognized because of the camera. His face said. Brady, you're making me feel drunk this morning with your words, son. Paige.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, sorry, Paige.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Come on, Step it up, kid. People are gonna crash. Get DUIs listening to you.

[Brady Bogan]

First Raider video. This guy doing a. An impressive push up. Oh, right off the bat because he was. Basically has a beer bottle and he's balancing two plates. Plates on the top of the beer bottle. Okay, you'll have to. You have to see what.

[John Holmberg]

Right. That's the point of the video. We'll get there. Come on, Rich. So he's got it on his head. Oh, no. I said. Oh, geez. Okay, now I understand what you're saying. He's holding the plates in his hands and he's got them in a V formation onto the top of the bottle. Yeah, he's on top of the bottle and he's doing a push up. Oh. And the bottle gives way and he hits.

[Brady Bogan]

And there's a finish.

[John Holmberg]

All right, he gets. He hits his face on the floor.

[Brady Bogan]

But that.

[John Holmberg]

That's what got you the finisher. Oh, yeah. This is what. There's a picture at the end of a guy with no chin. Jesus. And, well, hey, hold on, hold on. No, it is not. That's not. That looks like Beaker from the goddamn Muppets. How's that up his alley?

[Brady Bogan]

Not that guy.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know it's not that guy. I didn't fall.

[Brady Bogan]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

AI. Yeah, thanks for the explanation. You gotta remember, just in case you fell. Floyd. Oh, yeah. He spent the evening with Kirby. His humor fell down to that level. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD planning a summer getaway. The App Store has everything you need to elevate your travels and outdoor experiences. Start with ChatGPT to plan the perfect itinerary. From destination recommendations to unique activities. Learn the local lingo with duolingo and organize your trip with tripsi your all in one travel planner for nature lovers. Alltrails is your personal guide to hikes and secret spots. Impress your friends with night sky by identifying constellations and track every step of your adventure with Strava. Turn your journey into a cinematic story with relief because that epic mountain view deserves a soundtrack. And for those long flights or spotty connections, don't worry. Download offline games like Farm Hero, Saga, Wordscapes, or Retro bowl before you go from planning to exploring. The App Store has apps and games to make your summer unforgettable. Download them today and let the adventures begin. Lowe's knows that more projects mean more tools for a limited time. New and existing Mylo's rewards credit card members can get 12 months special financing on purchases of $299 or more in store and online. Don't wait to get the things you need. Get special financing today. Lowe's we help you Save now through August 27th. Choose 12 months special financing and purchases of $299 or more offer subject to credit approval and cannot be combined. Minimum monthly payments required. See store@lowe's.com for details. Searching for a romantic summer getaway Escape with Rich Girl Summer. The new Audible original from Lily Ch. Lily Chu, the exquisitely talented Philippa Sue. Returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chu title, this time Philippa is joined by her real life husband, Steven Pasquale. Set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, AKA the Hamptons of Canada, Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down on her luck event planner posing as a socialite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to reach Reed and infuriatingly handsome family assistant Nico. Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels. Listen to Rich Girl Summer now on audible. Go to audible.com richgirlsommar Holmberg's Morning Sickness. He's been impressed. Did Kirby bring a friend to dinner year last night?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so then Kirby was.

[Brady Bogan]

And we changed it up.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't go to Red Robin?

[Brady Bogan]

She wanted to.

[John Holmberg]

She want something worse.

[Brady Bogan]

Seven brothers Hillstone.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you took her to Hillstone. That's a drive to Hillstone. Good job, Kirby. Kicking daddy's ass for 17. I had to figure, man. You gave me a car last year. You give me a good dinner, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Next one. Since his first day of school for Kirby.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

A little school fight here.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Walked up to a big fat kid. Little kid. He grabs the fat kid, throws a punch. Couple punches at Fatty. Fatty has attacked. And you do not want the bad end of Fatty. He's got the little. Oh he slams him to the ground like a football. Do not pick on fat. Oh, the. The little kid is staggering dry drunk. He has got a bum wheel and something's wrong with his head. That's an oldie, but goody fatty. Don't pick on the fat kid. He's huge, too. That kid's not just fat, he's super tall. Yeah. Oh, man. He picks that kid up and says, no more of you. You don't realize every day I wake up and carry £355 on my calves. I'm strong. Wrong. That's crazy, dad. He's getting laid at that school. Now he's strutting. Yeah. Look at Boy Lizzo walking away. That's impressive.

[Brady Bogan]

Got another bull fight, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Just had a guy say. Hey. I got worried about Brady's report, and I just drove by the WP Nest on 12th Street. It's empty right now, but be careful. Columbus's statue. Yeah, they misunderstood the story. It was Wasp's nest, not a WP nest like Brady said. And there are no nuclear wops. Oh, I was listening to radio this morning saying we're made of the uranium or something. Let's go kick that guy's ass with a nuclear ops. We're live at the Mason Jar this Friday.

[Amir K]

Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

They sing with the accent.

[John Holmberg]

2, 3, 4.

[Brady Bogan]

Got a bull fight game over for this guy real quick, okay?

[John Holmberg]

You get a lot of bull fights in your algorithm, O. He's trying to run credit to him. He's trying to run from a speeding bull and into a giant. The great Taurasu smashes him into a tractor tire that's jammed into the earth in this cruddy country. He's dead. Nobody knows what to do. Not one person in that country knows cpr. They just all have Ronaldo T shirts on. Mess. Yeah, the great Taurasi took that kid and chucked him into that tire at the end. Look at this. I mean, that's the end of it. Fast forward to the end of this. There is a. A hot girl sighting briefly at the very end. Right as this thing's about to stop, there's a. A really hot girl pops into frame for half a second. Not him. Not him. Ronaldo comes back to the thing and then he leaves. And then hot girl shows up right here. Hold on. Here she comes. There she is. Oh, yeah. How about that? What's she doing at the Taurasi bull run? That was her boyfriend. Oh, yeah. She's single now. She's got to date a new Ronaldo. I just Like a guy in a Ronaldo shirt.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a pick him one last impressive push up. Two nails. One nail in the mouth, and the other is in the board. And he balances.

[John Holmberg]

So he's got a nail in his mouth. He's got a nail sticking out of a block, and in the block, he has balanced the tip of two nails. If his hands come off the ground, he's the dumbest man alive. This is going right through his face. Please. Gun. Oh, it didn't work. It didn't work. Of course it didn't work. Why would you think that would work? He's balancing nails over his face, and when that. His right hand gets off the ground, his left hand leaves the ground, and the nails give way, and. Oh, it goes right. That is so hard to watch. We can put that up on Facebook.

[Brady Bogan]

Work on finishing the electrical in your place.

[John Holmberg]

There's wires all over it. And give me a door frame or something. Something. You know, I'm coming.

[Brady Bogan]

Frame him out.

[John Holmberg]

I'm coming home from this, and I've hired this crew. I'm like, guys, enough around with the tricks. Put a door frame in and get these wires off the ground. I can't watch that again. That's a tough one. All right, Brett. Go Straight from the W's nest. It's Brett Vesley.

[Brady Bogan]

That'll get rid of your allergies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All right. Well, if you ever wonder what 500 dudes can do. What? Huh? They can fill an entire glass. 500 guys filled a pint. Filled a pint pint mug. I don't know. Look at it. There's an. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. She's taking a swig of a pint of man juice. Pint. Yeah. That's bigger than a pint. I'm saying a pint because I just ounce mugs. She's taking it all like egg batter.

[Brady Bogan]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

She's not pixelated. She's very pretty. She's a pretty Asian lady, and she's all the way down to the bottom of the mug. Oh, there it is. Pretty. Look, the big finish. That's like when Rocky drank the eggs.

[Brady Bogan]

Two pints.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. Oh, God. Did you say 500 guys? That's what it says. That's what's at 500 different guys filled with dude juice. I knew that. Here's one for you. Oh, man. All right. There's a lady squatting over a sidewalk. Oh, she's pulling her tampon out. She's got it in her hand. It seems clean now. She's putting her hand in there. I don't know what's going on. Digging around for a class ring or something. Okay, there's. Drum roll. THX music. Oh, God. What's coming out? She's found something. Time out. Hold on. We can do that. She inverted her penis all the way. Put a tampon in the hole where the. She turned it inside out. Right, Brady, at this point. She, not she. Sure. It's got no testicles, so it's trimmed up like it's a she. Yeah. And then it. And then when it pulls the penis out of the hole, it's still got itself.

[Amir K]

Look at your balls right there.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I think they're on the side.

[John Holmberg]

Are those tucked over or that's just giant laby. Because that looks like a hermaphrodite. It has no balls. It's got a hole. And it pulls a penis out of its own self. That is something. And then it tugs up for a second. That may be something I'd watch on television. It was like America's got Talent or something. Better than watching kids sing. Oh, yeah. Wow. That I didn't expect at all. What did you guys think was coming out? I certainly didn't think her own penis. She was getting another tampi out of there. Yeah. I thought it was a rogue one that she was chasing with a good one. Sometimes that'll happen. That good one will chase. Well, yeah, the rogue one.

[Brady Bogan]

And then it was a cold hot dog.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. Yeah, it could be. Could be. It ended up being a cold hot. Speaking of cold hot dogs, let's just go to cold hot dogs here. There's nothing wrong with this Toledo except for it's two dudes. It's changed. What in the world? All right.

[Brady Bogan]

What is happening?

[John Holmberg]

All right, let me explain this to the. Let me explain this to the listeners, please. That's AI. I don't know. What. I don't think so. I don't know. But nice music, too. Wow. All right, so what we're seeing here is two women in the first shot with their vaginas, and they are sharing a sex toy in what is a traditional scissor form. As the camera pulls back, we realize it's two twink boys with vaginas. And we can't figure out exactly how this is working when George Michael is. It's a great soundtrack. He helps it. Yes, I know. All right, well, there you go. Speaking of which. 20. Thanks. This one's entitled Average Tuesday on the streets of San Francisco. Okay. Oh, God. Guy in the middle of the road. Blowing himself. He's all balled up, and he's got himself in his mouth, and he is having the time of his life. I think I would too. If I could do that. I'd be doing it right now. Well, he's got action with the hips. He's giving himself big business. Wow. He's. He's earning a free ride from himself. And then we'll just finish for this. This is. This is one of those. Wait for it videos. So. Okay, here we go. All right. We're watching a heterosexual couple join sex. Yep.

[Brady Bogan]

After everything we've seen and.

[John Holmberg]

Calm down. I'll just call it as it is. He's finishing. He's finishing up. He's a seemingly enjoyed it all. And it's just really having the time of lives. And this is what people do when they love each other very much. And now. Oh, sweet Jesus. He went down and he cleaned his own mess. He's cleaning his own mess with his mouth. That's against God. I didn't know that was gonna happen either, Brett. You still managed to amaze. He cleaned his own mouth, Bailey. So there you go. That wouldn't do with that. Went down there and I made a mess on you. I apologize. Let me just. And he. And he roomba'd his own lady. Wow. Hot diggity. Okay, let's just regroup. Amir K. Is at Desert Ridge this weekend. We're gonna talk to Amir in just a few minutes.

[Brady Bogan]

First time in. Welcome in.

[John Holmberg]

Is it his first time here? Yeah. Okay. Amir Kay is gonna be a Desert R. Ridge this weekend. We'll chat with him next. It's 98 KUPD. There goes your Brady report. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Pd? No, we just meet people. We do that. Amir K. Is here. Desert Ridge Improv. Pop those headphones on and let's go. Amir is at Desert Ridge Improv tonight, tomorrow and Sunday. Desert ridgeimprov.com we just showed him some. It's Friday, so I don't know if.

[Amir K]

I can make it after watching what I just watched. Who needs coffee?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we got this. And AI, who needs you and me or anybody else anymore? Just sit at home and walk Wally out. When we all watch Wally, did we realize that everybody was getting fat and happy off of these videos? No. So we always on a Friday, have the worst of the worst videos show up. And unfortunately, you were the Friday comedian. Flip Orley didn't get this treatment. It's just the Friday guy.

[Amir K]

Yeah. Night tears.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Forever. It's gonna be rough. It's gonna be rough. Now, we showed you some prolapsing anus videos. Oh, man. Unfamiliar with it. Familiar with it. At that point. Experienced it.

[Amir K]

No, I haven't.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Amir K]

But I hope I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Now, what do you think that you, like, are you. Are you now going to be a little more conscious of that as a possibility?

[Amir K]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I think so, too. Crazy objects in the area anymore? Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Cold turkey.

[John Holmberg]

Pop that up closer to your face.

[Amir K]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It just echoes. There you go. That's it.

[Amir K]

But if you check out, my only fans. You could probably check out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Amir K]

Some prolapsing, you think? Yeah, I usually do it on Wednesdays.

[John Holmberg]

Prolapse Wednesday. I like that. You didn't go with the typical alliteration. Yeah, yeah. You just threw it on a Wednesday. It's like, you know why I'm more original than that. Amir K. Is at the Desert Ridge Improv this weekend. You said you're from Orange County, California?

[Amir K]

That's correct.

[John Holmberg]

I asked you the number that you think in a. In a. What is a region, a county, or an area of about 20 million people? This is a commonality we see two times a week, three videos a week, brand new, at least. Yeah, this is going on a lot.

[Amir K]

But you said 1 or 2%.

[John Holmberg]

That's way more than 10 in that town. 1. I think 1% of any major metropolitan area has something like that going on. 1% of the population's playing around back there like that.

[Amir K]

Oh, I think they're playing around back. I don't know, to that level where it's. It's coming out like that.

[John Holmberg]

If it's true that 10% of the population is gay, and then another, probably 15 is freaky, and they're all playing back door games, it's pretty reasonable to think that 1% of the population has an issue with that. Anyway, Amir, thanks for popping in. We just want to show you those videos.

[Amir K]

Out of 10 people, you're saying one person has it?

[John Holmberg]

I'm saying. Yes, I would say.

[Amir K]

I think that's too much.

[John Holmberg]

Out of 10 people, one person. Yes. I would say out of Tempe, one person is capable of doing that at any given time.

[Amir K]

That's 10.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's 10. You're right. So out of 100. Yeah. You and I both the same. I followed right with you. Yeah. One out of 100. One out of 100 will have a. A game with their butt.

[Amir K]

That could be right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think so.

[Brady Bogan]

That might be closer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Amir K]

Just saying, in this room, it's one out of four.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. All of us. All of that's Brad. That's five. That's.

[Amir K]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He counted, but. Yeah. So welcome to the show. We've introduced you to our Fridays. And I don't even know where to go after that. How have you been?

[Amir K]

Yeah, how do you start with that?

[John Holmberg]

What have you been up to?

[Amir K]

I've done so much radio in my career. I've never walked in and watched Prolapse Butthole immediately.

[John Holmberg]

The opener. Yeah, the opener. Hey, how are you? I remember us. We got it from the Bauman show in Pittsburgh. He's been doing this for years. Year. No. Yeah. It's a. It's a weird thing to. To introduce people. It is. You know what? I think it makes you more comfortable.

[Amir K]

It does.

[John Holmberg]

Like, because it brings it to where. Like, okay, we're. We're free to do anything.

[Amir K]

Little trauma bonding in the morning.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. And now you're comfortable saying, okay, what can I get away with? Don't worry about it. Okay, we've got you. This. This is a disgusting society.

[Amir K]

We're free to go.

[John Holmberg]

Are you a religious man?

[Amir K]

I'm not a religious man. I am an Iranian man.

[John Holmberg]

Are you okay? I'll tell you that right now. How's that working out?

[Amir K]

Pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what it's supposed to.

[Amir K]

What happened is World War iii, man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What happened? I wanted to activate. What do I do? Get to activate. I'm just chilling now. You never got the call? No. You're supposed to, like, scream Allah Akbar at an airport Persian. Is that a thing?

[Amir K]

I don't even tell you straight to your face.

[John Holmberg]

I am afraid of.

[Amir K]

I'm not ashamed.

[John Holmberg]

You went away. How did that happen? We were like, World War III ready.

[Amir K]

And then all of a sudden it's over. And they had one guy out. One more guy to take out. And then we have bunker blasters, and they couldn't take out that last dude.

[John Holmberg]

You know what stuck? Stopped it. Coldplay. Yeah, Coldplay stopped World War III accidentally. We stopped astronomers. Yeah, we stopped paying attention to World War III because some dude was nailing his HR rep, Man.

[Amir K]

That was. That's how dumb society hot the guy's wife was.

[John Holmberg]

I know. We all saw that. What an idiot. Well, still. She had those three kids there too. She did have three STDs running around. Do you have any kids? You guys are sick. I'll be. Did you have two children?

[Amir K]

I don't have children.

[John Holmberg]

Have any children now. Did you. Are you like. Are your parents from Iran?

[Amir K]

Yeah, I was born there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you were born. Oh, no kidding? Yep. So when I said, where are you from? You lied to get away with it. Cuz I said, where you from? You said, orange County. Oh, you guys. All right, that's it. Bring in the authorities.

[Brady Bogan]

See your papers.

[John Holmberg]

We knew when you wouldn't give us your last name.

[Amir K]

I don't have the paper.

[John Holmberg]

Good.

[Amir K]

I don't have the paper.

[John Holmberg]

Good. Do you. Did you have trouble, like with people as an Iranian when you were a kid or anything? No, it was pretty easy. Nobody knows. That's the thing. Like, you can't really identify an Iranian until you tell us, right?

[Amir K]

And I think maybe, yeah, maybe, you know, somewhere along the lines there was some, you know, maybe some comments made or something. You know, I never.

[John Holmberg]

And your parents. I got in a cab with an Iranian once and he just started yelling at me about how awesome America was. And I better appreciate it. I'm like, I do. I didn't say a word. It was like what we did to you just. He bombarded me. We have just met and he's like, I come in front of my hand screaming at me like, how great America is. I'm like, I'm so. Is that.

[Amir K]

That's the sentiment? I think. I mean, we're so appreciative to be, you know, in a country that's this free and get to do what we want. I mean, I can't imagine, like my alternate universe would have been living in Iran. I don't know what that guy.

[John Holmberg]

Why did your parents leave?

[Amir K]

Because of the Iran Iraq war. So they wanted to bring us somewhere safer, which I'm so grateful they did.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because.

[Amir K]

Yeah, it was. I mean that. Because it's war. War there. You know, it's like here when we're in war and you just don't even know it.

[John Holmberg]

TV war.

[Amir K]

Yeah, this TV war over there, it's like bombs are actually land. I remember my dad would take my brother to roof and they would see that Iraqi planes coming over and dropping the bombs and stuff. So it was like everyone had bomb sheltered. It was pretty gnarly.

[John Holmberg]

And when. How old were you when you left?

[Amir K]

5.

[John Holmberg]

So you kind of remember some of it?

[Amir K]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I do. I mean, the traumatic moments. And then you'd go down in these like little, you know, everyone had these little shelters that you go in the basement, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Amir K]

And when you'd hear the sirens and stuff and you go down. I remember it was like, you'd look at the. The adults and, you know, they were acting like it was fun, you know, like a game or something. Like, come on, let's go. It's time to go down. And then. But you look at their face and you see the horror. And I remember seeing. Seeing, like, the concern on their face. It's a pretty traumatic thing, and it probably screwed me up in some way.

[John Holmberg]

That's why you're a comedian. Yeah, there's definitely something.

[Amir K]

And then you come here and go straight to Orange County.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Take me back to Iran. Yeah.

[Amir K]

Southern California, like, straight from Iran, you know? And then I'm like. I'm, like, sitting. So I didn't even speak English. I'm, like, learning how to speak English by mimicking the kids and my neighbor. So I'm. I had a Mexican accent for the first three years.

[John Holmberg]

You were an Iranian, you know, so just try to fit in here.

[Amir K]

Yeah, you try to fit in. You know, I live. Yeah, I grew up with a lot of, like. Like, you know, Latinos and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Do your parents talk about the culture shock they felt?

[Amir K]

You know, it's. I. I haven't really talked to them too much about that, but I think my dad had already been here. That's why we came when we. Why we came back. He had gone to school at Cal State Fullerton.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Amir K]

So that's why we went back to California, which I'm so grateful for, because some of my cousins. I have two cousins and aunt and uncle that moved to California. Texas.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Amir K]

And they. They moved to Houston.

[John Holmberg]

And I've.

[Amir K]

You know, I've been there a few times.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Amir K]

I'm just so grateful we went to California.

[John Holmberg]

You like California by the beach? You know, I don't agree with Houston. It's crazy.

[Amir K]

It's crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So that's. It's just such an interesting thing to me because I've been just such homegrown, and I'm just like, this is. This is all I know. And that kind of frustrates me when you hear somebody who's come from somewhere else and you tell that story of watching planes go over your house to go bomb, and we're like, lizzo's fat Sydney Sweeney shouldn't do commercials.

[Amir K]

Actually, as I got older, I realized how grateful I am to. You know, like, you start to realize, like, holy crap, like, I could have been in Iran, and I could have been. You know, I have family there that I don't really communicate with as much anymore. And it's like, man, I can't imagine their life. They just want to be free. Like, we are here. You know, there's government there.

[John Holmberg]

They just won't stop it. Yeah.

[Amir K]

So ridiculous. But then you wonder, like, why are we not doing, you know, I mean, like, that we had to chance to take out the last dude.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Amir K]

One guy left.

[John Holmberg]

He's still standing around and he's still.

[Amir K]

Standing around and they're like, what? We have the Bunker Blasters. Yeah, My nickname in high school, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

With Bunker Blaster, John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. So you've got a business, but what about a brand? The difference, more of a wix gives you the freedom to create your website, own your brand, and do it on your own, exactly how you envisioned it. Experience limitless customization. Boost your creativity and efficiency with AI tools for every part of your business journey. Scale up with built in SEO, E. Com and scheduling features. Put more of you in your business. Go to wix.com and do it all yourself. Holmberg's morning sickness. Nice.

[Amir K]

But like, you know what I mean? Like, why?

[John Holmberg]

Why not?

[Amir K]

But like, okay, what the heck's going on that we don't know about?

[John Holmberg]

So it's like, yeah, there's a lot we don't understand. I think we're better dumb. Yeah. I think as a group, we're just better dumb. You tell us too much and we start getting mob mentality.

[Amir K]

Like, you'll never know, man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, let's just be upset at Sydney.

[Amir K]

Sweeney and watch prolapse.

[John Holmberg]

But watch buttholes falling out of dudes. That's freedom right there. That isn't happening in Iraq. Dudes are filming that in a parking stop. That. That's outside in a parking lot.

[Amir K]

I thought that was filmed in Iran.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, they do have that one section of Tehran that's like all goes here. Whatever. This is a free for all from this spot to that.

[Amir K]

You're sick. Listen, man, this is the butt area and that's it. You guys want to play with your butt, you can play over here. That is a safe zone.

[John Holmberg]

It's the butt safe zone of Tehran.

[Amir K]

And by the way, 20% of our.

[John Holmberg]

Population is playing with their butt problem. That's insane. Well, I'm glad. I'm glad you're here. And it's weird because I have a friend who is one of the lost boys of the Sudan. Okay. Like, he was literally one of the kids walking across Africa back and forth, trying to figure out how to get away from this War torn nightmare. And he was the oldest of 500 and he was. I think he said he was 11 and he was kind of in charge of the whole thing. When they were done in his group, there were 13 left. Oh, my God. Right. And so I've had dinner with him where he's complained about the appetizer. He's American now. Man, you've changed. These are too much enchiladas sauce. I'm like, are you really bitching about the appetizers? The food before the food?

[Amir K]

You didn't even have food from a refugee.

[John Holmberg]

The lost boy. Yelp reviews would be. Everything was delicious. No one tried to steal. Was awesome. Amir K is a Desert Ridge improv tonight. Tomorrow on Sunday. Are you a. Are you a married man?

[Amir K]

I'm not. I have a girlfriend.

[John Holmberg]

You do have a girlfriend and she travel with you?

[Amir K]

She is, yeah. She's actually here with me now.

[John Holmberg]

Is she really? She's enjoying the wedding.

[Amir K]

She's a CrossFit and stuff like that. So she was working out with a couple friends that she has a of couple competition with.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, nice.

[Amir K]

Out here.

[John Holmberg]

Across. Does she force you to do a lot of working out?

[Amir K]

She beats me up from time to time.

[John Holmberg]

Are you abused? Do you want to blink twice if.

[Brady Bogan]

You need help, actually with self defense.

[Amir K]

I'm here for help. Yeah. If you guys see me out in public.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know, the hair covers a lot of the bruises. Yeah, I understand.

[Brady Bogan]

Blink twice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is she. Does she push fitness on you a lot?

[Amir K]

From time to time, yeah. When I'm starting to get out of.

[John Holmberg]

Shape, she's like, yeah, you're in shape though. You're not.

[Amir K]

I guess so. But I, you know, it's hard to. When you're traveling so much to eat right and all that stuff, you know.

[John Holmberg]

And she comes with you to make sure.

[Amir K]

No, not all the time. Just, you know, on like, shorter, shorter.

[John Holmberg]

Trips, she'll come and. Does she. She does that for a living.

[Amir K]

She used to like, do. She's a firefighter.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, how about that? Yeah. You got a go getter? She's a go getter, man. Yeah, she's after it and can she lift you? Oh, yeah. She thinks I make her carry me up the stairs. I just.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just fun with an ax.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You give her the excuse like staying up with her job, like you're helping her out. That's good.

[Amir K]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

That's amazing. Wedding bells. What doing we. Are we talking about putting a heat on you?

[Amir K]

We'll see what happens. You know, she's great. So far, so good. How long been like a year.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Amir K]

Sweet. Yeah, she's very, very. I really, really like her.

[John Holmberg]

As your career takes off, do you think that she's going, oh, I'm leaving her behind? Yeah. I was going to say that was kind of what I was. I was going to delicately ask a.

[Brady Bogan]

Couple of months here.

[Amir K]

I love you, Chloe Spray. Listening.

[John Holmberg]

Like, if it popped, if it just exploded for you.

[Amir K]

Oh, I'm going, gay man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Amir K]

Prolapse city over here.

[John Holmberg]

Giving it up. Right. You don't know. I always won, though. When, like when. If you're going to become super famous and you don't expect it. Yeah. And then you look over and like, she's there. Like, I guess you're going to go on this ride with me for a while, right?

[Amir K]

And I think it's better that way, though, don't you, like?

[John Holmberg]

No, not at all. She's an anchor, man. An anchor.

[Amir K]

To a cold.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Yeah. But it's. You're right in one way. It's like, okay, you got a little insulated group keeps you there.

[Amir K]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But also it's just such a world. And it's. The reason isn't because of them. It's because you're going to experience a new world of trouble. Right.

[Amir K]

You could be like, Conor McGregor, just put it out there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just.

[Brady Bogan]

There's just more of them.

[John Holmberg]

There's just more of them and they're everywhere. And then the temptations get weird. And then it's like, man, I'm putting myself in a lot of spots here where I'm. I'm going to damage people.

[Amir K]

Have you seen the Conor McGregor stuff? Like, where he's just cheating on some?

[John Holmberg]

Like, he's just constantly just like, with.

[Amir K]

Some random, like, person out on a beach. And then like a week later, he's just posting photos with his wife.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And he's. He's the one, like, filming it. It's a selfie.

[Amir K]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna make out with this girl proper. And then he does. It's a problem. He marches out. I just closed the door on that broad right there. See you in a minute, honey. Heads right home. Yeah, it's weird. I had an Irish boxing trainer for a while and he. He lives in my brain. He. He would occasionally. He. I went to Vegas with. With him once and he goes, joni, we're gonna watch a Ricky Hatton fight off Darren. Oh, that's the guy in Las Vegas. Gonna watch Ricky Hatton and he gets. And some at the time, I'm like, fine, I'll go with you. And. And we got a room at Treasure island, which I would have never done normally, but I didn't want to lose track of this guy.

[Amir K]

And you like pirates and I love pirates.

[John Holmberg]

He tells me right before he. I gotta let you know something. I'm like, what? He goes, I have night screams. And I'm like, what? I got to night scream. So just in case, don't worry about him mucking around. Hurt you. And then. And sure enough, in the middle of the night, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. Like, oh, my God. He starts flipping out in his side of the room like, I'm getting the hell out of here.

[Amir K]

Wait, can we talk about what that, like, stemmed from?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, there's a couple options.

[Amir K]

Catholic, the Catholic Church, loads of dude. I went to Ireland, I'm telling you right now.

[Brady Bogan]

He was Northern Ireland, wasn't he?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. But he would occasionally scream about the.

[Amir K]

Ira, the level of drinking you see in Ireland.

[John Holmberg]

And him. You.

[Amir K]

No, but I'm saying I feel like it's really tied to what happened to people when they were younger. And you see like these guys in these. These bars just drink, but it's like they're dealing with something. Like they're by themselves, like, way drunk. Drunker than.

[John Holmberg]

Plus, they're Irish. So.

[Amir K]

Yeah, they're Irish. And that's a whole different.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they never ever stop being attractive to priests. They're all like. They all look like little kids. This is the right show. Thank. Bring it in. God, I met poor group of friends. I mean, what have you guys been all my life? Just sounded like a crazy person. It's like being in a green room at any comedy. This is. This is where you're safe. That's why we showed you those videos, to let you know. Yeah, yeah, we can bash the Irish here all you want. I know the Iranians hate it.

[Amir K]

We're actually in cahoots.

[John Holmberg]

Alphabetically. It's close, but no, you are you. Iran and Ireland.

[Amir K]

Ireland, they're like pretty close.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Amir K]

Yeah, I believe so.

[John Holmberg]

How'd that happen?

[Amir K]

I have no idea, to be honest with you.

[Brady Bogan]

But potatoes.

[John Holmberg]

Like a super Catholic country.

[Amir K]

Protestant Catholic, but I think they have, like, some sort of ties. I honestly.

[John Holmberg]

I know Scotland has ties with. Was it the king of Scotland? What was he when he ran down. Oh, with a lot of African dictators. Like, they had that for long because IDI Amin was the.

[Amir K]

Yeah, I'm of geopolitics. Not My.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know, clearly I just made it so clear when I was explaining I would have never known Iran and Ireland were pals.

[Amir K]

Yeah, I had no idea. I think I've heard it mentioned a few times.

[John Holmberg]

Interesting. What's one Iranian tradition or trait that we don't know? That you're like, this is something that we'll never get rid of because it's awesome.

[Amir K]

Oh, the beheadings are just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's just a thing that we. Expecting a food. No, no, no. Maybe it is. Maybe it's just.

[Amir K]

No, the food. There's a place here. I'll give it a plug, man. It's called the House of Persia or something. Or maybe I messed up that I'll.

[John Holmberg]

Give it a plug. It's not even a restaurant. All I know is you see me speeding by it. Yeah, you're a jerk. You're a jerk. You're a jerk, and everybody knows.

[Amir K]

No, man. It's really good. If you get a chance, check it out. It's like, really Persian Room or the House of.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds great.

[Amir K]

Something like that. It's really good food. I'm telling you. They got like, a fountain in the middle.

[John Holmberg]

It's cool. What is the food? I don't know.

[Amir K]

It's mainly, like, you know, kebabs and rice and, like, there's some different stews and stuff like that.

[John Holmberg]

That sounds okay, but it. No, I. I feel like.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it is the Persian room.

[John Holmberg]

It's the Persian room.

[Amir K]

Thank you very much. Yeah, it's very good. It's so good. I'm gonna go there. As a matter of fact, this. This trip.

[John Holmberg]

I fear foreign. Foreign foods. Do you? Yeah, I just. I'm not.

[Amir K]

Yeah. My girlfriend's kind of like that as well.

[John Holmberg]

I just don't trust it. And I don't trust that anybody that moved here and hung on to it gets it right.

[Amir K]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't think it's authentic. Yeah.

[Amir K]

You're missing out.

[John Holmberg]

I'm scared. Oh, that's.

[Amir K]

What do you eat? Hot dogs.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of hot dogs. Hot dogs. And I know. And I still don't trust those altogether. You know, I have to do it myself. That looks beautiful. Is that it? That is it.

[Amir K]

But it doesn't look like the freaking Titanic.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm on the Persianroom dot com.

[Amir K]

Well, it is actually very cool. I don't think it's. I mean. Yeah, you walk in there and they've made it kind of like, real extravagant.

[John Holmberg]

That's stunning.

[Brady Bogan]

That's. Yeah.

[Amir K]

But you go in there. And they got these, like, real. Yeah, it's a. It's like, you know, I'm a pretty. It's the one and only, like, place that I've been here that I. That I think is pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

I've lived here forever. I didn't even know.

[Amir K]

Check it out. It's really good. They have everything.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Amir K]

Super Iranian.

[John Holmberg]

So other than beheadings, this is the thing to hang on to. Yeah. I just don't know a lot about, like, Iranian traditions and stuff. As an American. We grew up just thinking. Thinking. Yeah. That's what they teach you. You know, that's where they're like, oh, they're. They're bad, and they're always this. And everybody's dressed up in the clothes, and they hate us, and we got. But you never. And then you meet people. You're like, no, no, it's gonna be farther from.

[Amir K]

Honestly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then you meet people from there, and you're like, Tehran is like a college town, right? And it's got a ton of people and everybody's friend.

[Amir K]

They just want to be like, here. I'm telling you. Like, they just.

[John Holmberg]

I.

[Amir K]

The amount of messages I got. And every so often, there's like, a revolution that almost happens.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Amir K]

And then the government kills a bunch of kids in the streets, and then they. They, you know, squash the revolution, and the parents don't want the kids to go out in the street because they're going to get sure killed.

[John Holmberg]

So it.

[Amir K]

And they always. And it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's.

[Amir K]

You know, they need some sort of help from the outside to come, and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they can't do it alone, but they.

[Amir K]

But I'm telling you, there's something that we don't know that there. There's a reason they want those guys there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Amir K]

You know, I mean, why.

[John Holmberg]

Keeping them kind of.

[Amir K]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that is true.

[Amir K]

Yeah. There's something.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, while you were telling that story, did you notice how long it took for Brady to spin his chair away from the menu that's on the tv?

[Amir K]

You knew the place?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Filet kebab. No, I haven't been there.

[John Holmberg]

Name an intersection. He can name two restaurants in the whole town. It's amazing.

[Amir K]

I got to get some pointers from you on.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it'll never end. Don't say that. This is a long, long day for you. Amir K. Is at the Desert Ridge Improv. What do you think does fix this? What do you think? Like, the image America has of the Middle east and of Iran. Like, what what can you do?

[Amir K]

I think I'm doing it doing standup and showing people that we're not like, you know, terrorists and we don't hate America. And I actually talk about it quite a bit in my act about, you know, the. The alternate universe I'd be living in if I was over there, and how grateful I am to be here and how grateful most Iranians are to be in this country.

[John Holmberg]

What did your dad do?

[Amir K]

He was a civil engineer.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Amir K]

And then he. He came here and moved. Worked for Caltrans.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. California Transportation.

[Brady Bogan]

They just had a. There was a store on Caltrains earlier. Caltran. The Caltrans. They had a employee.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Amir K]

Transsexual cows.

[Brady Bogan]

And they had a stripper.

[John Holmberg]

You're fitting in too well.

[Brady Bogan]

13 employees got fired because they. This guy was retiring. No, they threw a party.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And they're using the. Well, I'm sure you get his money.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Amir K]

You can tell when you pull up to a strip club with 14 orange trucks.

[Brady Bogan]

They brought her to the office.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my gosh. Well, sure. It's the Coldplay thing again. Yeah. I find it fascinating because as I get older, I just realize so much of what I've seen, been taught, has led me to believe a certain thing, and it's just not real.

[Amir K]

It's not.

[John Holmberg]

And then you. Have you ever been back?

[Amir K]

I haven't since we came because the. The situation wasn't, like, the best for us. Because when you go back, if you're over 18, you have to have served military service. If you're, like a citizen, if you were born there two years. So you have to, like. Yeah, it's two years or something.

[John Holmberg]

Like, even if you visit.

[Amir K]

Even if you visit. Yeah. They're going to ask for. You have to pay all this money to, like, buy out of it or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

So they'll nab you at the airport and say, you were born here. You got to serve in the military.

[Amir K]

Yeah, something like that. So I just never. And then I started doing stuff, like, as I got older, you know, like little. You know, I would do sketches where I play Iranian thing, or I was in the movie Argo, you know, like, about the hostage crisis. So, like, it was just too risky for them to pull because they'll do that. They'll just, like, take a guy that, you know, if you're coming from the States and say, hey, man, what is this? Like, show you a video of, like, a comedy sketch where I'm, like, playing an Iranian consulate.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Amir K]

And they'll be like, you know, what is this? You're a spy and then they'll just throw you in jail for. They were doing it all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Did you say you were in Argo?

[Amir K]

Yeah. That's a very small party.

[John Holmberg]

What did you play?

[Amir K]

First things. I was the passport official that, like, when they come into the country, you.

[John Holmberg]

Were giving them the heat.

[Amir K]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The sweatiest part of the movie.

[Amir K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it was like I was the passport checkpoint. It's funny.

[John Holmberg]

Like, they.

[Amir K]

They cut the scene down a lot, but it was like one of the first roles I ever got.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Amir K]

First year into doing anything in LA.

[John Holmberg]

And you showed up and.

[Amir K]

I don't know, I auditioned for Ben Affleck and. Yeah. Grant has love. Who's like the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you were in an Academy Award winning film.

[Amir K]

Dude, I got a Sad Gag Award. Like, my first thing. I'm like, oh, man, I made it. I thought I was gonna be like Tom Cruise.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Did you get it? Here you. Here you are. Oh, yeah, this is your scene.

[Amir K]

That's literally Fred founded immediately.

[John Holmberg]

This is the sweatiest movie scene ever.

[Amir K]

Yeah, this is it.

[John Holmberg]

You put the headphones on.

[Amir K]

They just passed my. My station.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're already out. Well, this one. It gets real good. Let me rewind a little bit. There you are.

[Amir K]

Actually, no, this is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this is. This is where you're up front there.

[Amir K]

Yeah, hold on.

[John Holmberg]

And these are all Canadian pads. This is a great, great movie.

[Amir K]

Yeah, this.

[John Holmberg]

That's not you.

[Amir K]

No, no, they just passed. They just passed my station. So they come through and then I hold up. I hold up his passport for a while and then we wave him through.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, I remember. That was a great M. That's crazy. And you'd only been in LA for a little while.

[Amir K]

Yeah, just a year. But it was crazy to be on this sort of, like, this sort of. It's funny, when we were doing the. When we were doing the. When we were doing like a rehearsal.

[John Holmberg]

For it.

[Amir K]

Ben Affleck comes through. You know, we're doing like kind of like a blocking rehearsal. And he gives me his passport and I go, are you traveling with Matt Damos? Like, he didn't think it was funny because you wasted.

[John Holmberg]

You know what?

[Brady Bogan]

Give this guy all the sad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Amir K]

I was like, oh, I'm a comedian. Maybe I'll make these guys laugh. He didn't think that was funny.

[John Holmberg]

Were all the guys who were playing Iranian. Iranian, yeah.

[Amir K]

Oh, my gosh. It was probably the most difficult set because Iranians are so hard to deal with. Everyone's looking right down the barrel of the camera.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Staring right at us.

[Amir K]

Remember Ben Affleck would get so frustrated, he goes, guys, you're looking right at the camera. You can't. And then like, guys like. Cuz your audience don't care, man. They're like, I want to be in the movie. I want to be like. So one guy would be like, they already saw him down the way and now in a new scene, he's way. Yeah. He like ran over to get in the camera again. Like it doesn't make sense. You can't be here.

[John Holmberg]

And here I blind in. Is this you? That's me right here. That's okay. This is your seen.

[Amir K]

That's me.

[John Holmberg]

That's you? Yeah. Look at the beard on this guy.

[Amir K]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I had some lines and stuff and they cut everything out, but that's.

[John Holmberg]

Just how you're just staring at Rachel.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like one of those enough lines to get the sag.

[Amir K]

Yeah, he actually taff hardly mean the sag. So I got the sack card.

[John Holmberg]

Do you get a little mini best picture award?

[Amir K]

I got no, I didn't get a best, but I got on. We won ensemble cast. So I have a award for that.

[John Holmberg]

Did that win best Picture? I don't remember. Argo, he won best director.

[Amir K]

He won best Picture, Best Direct.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Amir K]

Did he get the director?

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember.

[Amir K]

It was like the best picture though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You won best. You didn't get like a little plaque?

[Amir K]

I didn't get anything.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Amir K]

I'm sure the main like staff, like the.

[John Holmberg]

You are main staff. I just saw you on the screen. That counts. Like you got a credit, right?

[Amir K]

No, but it was so funny. So I actually, you know, you like book this role and like I said, the Iranian like extras, they're so, you know, like they don't care. They're just like Iranians in la. They want to be on the movie.

[John Holmberg]

In the movie.

[Amir K]

They're like, oh, just get in front of the camera, man. So I like went to the bathroom, I like left my little stand where I'm filming the scene, right. And I leave and there's another guy there, he's like, no, I can't do it.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't do it, dude. I've booked this role.

[Amir K]

Like you can't.

[Brady Bogan]

And didn't you have to. You have to pay right away? I mean order because stuff. Yeah.

[Amir K]

You want me to put in a word for you?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm sag. Oh yeah, I have it. I actually basically refunded it back.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Because here you weren't in our work outside.

[Amir K]

Oh, being non. Non. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

What are the movies you've been in?

[Amir K]

What have I done? I don't even know. You don't know what movies are in? I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

There's like little. Little bougie to say that. No, I. I don't know.

[Amir K]

No, I honestly haven't done that many. I haven't. So I don't. Yeah, it's not like I.

[John Holmberg]

What's the one you're least proud of that we could find real quick? Least proud of like Lizzie McGuire or something?

[Amir K]

Oh, no, I can't. I mean, it was this movie, the Pyramid I did. I was like a lead in it and it was just like.

[John Holmberg]

It was bad.

[Amir K]

I mean, it's one of those horror movies where you get like trapped in a pyramid, you know, Like, I wasn't. I'm actually not ashamed of it or anything.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's cursed, right? Is the p. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The Pyramid. Brady, you've got too much time.

[Amir K]

It was like Dennis o' Hare was in it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wow, you've had some people around.

[Amir K]

Yeah, it was a Fox feature. It was like a.

[John Holmberg]

It was like, look at this. Vengeance against adventurers.

[Amir K]

No, but it was like. And this all happened like within two years of me being in la, you know, like two, three years, I'm like, oh, man, everything's moving.

[John Holmberg]

And then I never. Sitting in here with us. I'm sitting with three Prolapse videos. Amir K. Don't say a bunch of bald guys. That's rude. He's got hair. I got hair.

[Amir K]

He doesn't have hair.

[John Holmberg]

I can't even see it. It's got loads of it in.

[Amir K]

Oh, here it is.

[John Holmberg]

There's you again.

[Amir K]

Yeah, it's one of these. And then we get stuck in the thing. One of my favorite reviews news was this movie's about four people getting stuck in a pyramid, which is what I felt in the movie theater.

[John Holmberg]

Behind me. Has only. That's cool. All right. Stuff like this radio. Watch that. Well, there you go. Well, I hope it goes. Do you want to be an actor more than a comedian? No, not at all. Always.

[Amir K]

And they always hated that. When I would go to these meetings and they'd be like, oh, so what do you. You know, they want to. The agents and managers and they always want to hear you, like, have these aspirations to be this like money making actor. And I was always like, I want to do the comedy clubs. They're like, yeah, yeah. So I think that kind of that's.

[John Holmberg]

What people do when I say, oh, I do radio. Because you've met other radio people and they're. They're not wrong. No, absolutely. Yeah. It's a tough. It's a tough business. Thank you. We appreciate. We hear that a lot. Yeah, we do video that fast.

[Amir K]

And you guys don't do the voice, which I like.

[John Holmberg]

Good morning. Good morning. I was about to get into that. Amir. It's 8:59 Desert Ridge improv is where Amir K is playing tonight, Tomorrow and Sunday. Desert ridgeimprov.com Leave us with words of wisdom, sir. As if you haven't already.

[Amir K]

Be kind to the people next to you, man.

[John Holmberg]

That's beautiful, isn't it? But not the people far away.

[Amir K]

Bomb them.

[John Holmberg]

Bomb them.

[Amir K]

People close to you. Be nice because you have to deal with those people.

[John Holmberg]

It's beautiful. It's good to meet you, man.

[Amir K]

It was great to meet you guys, man. Thanks for having me on and I hope to see you guys all at the show.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, this weekend I'm busy, but maybe a show. I'll watch Argo. I'll get you some residuals. It's a mere k, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? I've lost interest in your story. It is time. Look, Frank Caliendo is here, everybody. Frank comes in right on the heels. You've just met Amir K. Yeah. Super nice guy. He's really nice. He was fun. Fits right in. Yeah. They said he was crushing in here. Yeah, he did great. You're not gonna be able to follow it. No, you're. It's a mess. Typical. Your opener was a killer. We'll bring Cantor in and fix it. I like George. That's a joke. But you do use him for. Brady and I were just describing. Discussing Italy because I was in Italy over the summer and Brett could.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, yeah, unfortunately.

[John Holmberg]

And Brady was pretending to know the geography of Italy. Sure. Yeah. That's in northern south.

[Brady Bogan]

I got Milan mixed up with Naples.

[John Holmberg]

Naples south.

[Brady Bogan]

Home of Alpha Romeo.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, stop it.

[Brady Bogan]

I've been there. I've been there.

[John Holmberg]

Home of Caesar. Romero played the joker. I'm. I'm Bradapedia and I'm gonna tell you everything I know. Yeah, it doesn't matter if, you know. So enjoyable it is because he takes us out of time. That's exactly it. There you go. Here's Milan, Brady. It's up Here. Don't show him a map. He's going to start here in Naples. Were they even close? No. Here's what Amir said on the way out. Is it like Stephen A. You have to call him Amir K. Amir K. Yeah. Don't watch the videos they show you. I'm like, I. No, trust me, I've done it. I know you've been here enough. If you'd like to see a video, a new style, something new. Like, let's play the one where it's like, guess. Come guess what comes out of this lady. Okay. Just check. And if you wanted to play. I started to throw up already. Hit the button and we'll stop everything. I love when somebody thinks they're not. How would he know? But when he's like, trying to help me with you guys, like, there's no help. He's from Iran, so he's used to, like, helping hostages out. Hey, I'll tell you. Tell you what. This kid over here. It is time for the. You're going to be here for the entertainment. And Frank, you have a show, which is. Yeah. You're not here out of the kindness. I did that last time. Didn't work out at all. You tried to promote this upcoming date. No, it wasn't there yet. It wasn't? No, no, I just came. No, I came in just to hang out one time specifically. No, no, no, not true. Done on purpose. And. And it was. There were multiple other ones planned and I never showed up for those. But the one I did. So Amir K. Is at Desert Ridge. That's right. This weekend starting what, tonight? Tonight, tomorrow and Sunday. And I am there August 22nd, 23rd. Couple weeks away. Yeah. There you go. Desert Ridge improv. And you get tickets for that now. Desert ridgeimprov.com for Frank show, which will sell out, by the way, very quickly. So you want to hop on that now. I'm going with Frank C. That's smart. What is your middle initial? L. My name is Frank Lee. My name is Frank. Frankly, Franklin, your dad is hilarious. Probably have gone over that. I have been a while. I don't think I remember. I would venture back to. In Guadalupe. I don't know. I think I'd remember. Frankly. Calient. Frankly give a damn. And your. Yeah. Your dad is Frank Henry. Frank Hank. I don't think he knows he's Frank Hank. Or frankly, I think I'm not sure. He doesn't know you're an antler. My mom thinks we all have the same middle name. And I'm Frank Frank Lee. Rico is Rico Lewis and Terry is Terry. Lee. They just went with Lee again. Rico and Terry. Hey, Frankie Rica. Terry's coming too.

[Brady Bogan]

What happened?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that can't be the. Frank and Rico will be here in a minute with her brother Terry. Terry, you ain't got to worry about that guy. Make Terry sound tough. Terry, you drive. Don't get out of the Terry Brady, entertain us. Yeah, that's right. It's time for Brady to do the entertainment drill. It's brought to bear [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. And you can get up there and learn how to be a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. We saw that video. I talked about it this morning. Best defense in the world is leaving. Being a man means staying alive for the people you care about afterwards. Getting involved in that scuffle just to prove your manliness and then getting the crap kicked out of you. And Fox News won't stop talking about it is not manly at that's stupid. Best self defense is Nike Defense de escalation. They teach you that before they teach you any fighting. It's awesome. And then you get in great shape while you're there. Reactdefense.com that's where you go. It's the home of tactical Black Brady entertainment.

[Brady Bogan]

Adam Carolla was on a podcast yesterday and he talked about going on Ellen show in 2012 and how terrified her staff was.

[John Holmberg]

It's almost as if, like, it's like, look, hey, Frank, how are you? It's almost as if there were, I don't know, a podcast with my name on it. I wasn't on any podcast. Brady was on my own podcast and I used to work for a guy named Tripp Reeb. Now, a lot of people know Tripp Reap. You know, Frank, you know Tripp. What do you think of Tripp Re? Yeah, that's what you think. And then you work for him anyway. I was the highest paid, low level employee in Los Angeles. Angeles. What was the question? I'll go on for hours.

[Brady Bogan]

He basically talked about, I have a slideshow. Ellen is a horrible person.

[John Holmberg]

Terrible lady. Horrible one.

[Brady Bogan]

He goes, you could tell by the way the staff was running around terrified.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, man. He's just now saying it, though.

[Brady Bogan]

No, he's just backing it up because they somehow they got on the topic and they were talking about all these stories in the past the same. Ellen's a mean person. It was like, oh, she is.

[John Holmberg]

I'd heard stories about Ellen all the way back to her doing Stand up. Being mean to. She was always just rough on everybody all the time. I'll say this though, and I don't know, but I've defended Ellen on this because her name's on that show. I agree. And, and if you're not getting it done, the person whose name's on the show has to step up and say, hey, you can, you can think I'm a dick or whatever. I'm the one in the end who gets all the credit and all the blame. There were people at Mad TV that I was told were really tough on the staff and whatever. And so I got there. I go, no, no, no. They're just defending their own product. They're not just going with the flow like me and accepting all these terrible ideas. Exactly. They fight for themselves a lot of the time. So I agree, there is a lot. There's Ellen's dream. Yeah, she has her own dollar. She did this to get that show and she's gonna basically. But there is a, there is a thing where I think people cross a line too far and maybe I've seen it here and oh yeah, you be quiet down. I was. The men, the men are having a conversation right now. Frank, please. Me, Terry. And no, I always look at that and there is a line to cross. But also, you know, if you worked there and you stayed there and then after the fact you bitched, you know, you know what you're in, you know what you're into. And some people are jerks. And you might work for a jerk sometimes.

[Brady Bogan]

But he said he talked to one of the former writers who said Ellen is the worst person. Not the worst person. I worked for the worst person I've ever, ever met.

[John Holmberg]

Because we had Jeff from curb your enthusiasm. Why am I blanking on? Garland.

[Brady Bogan]

Garland.

[John Holmberg]

And he evidently said, you know, he was a horrible person for the longest time and he didn't realize how he was rubbing everybody the wrong way. So he's recently had to change that. Another terrible person, Rosie o'. Donnell. Terrible on the show. Irish Rosie. Yeah. Bad person. One of the worst people I've ever seen. I had. Remember she used to shoot the koozies. She'd shoot the koozies. You know what those were made of? Rosy pieces. Pubes. She expired her pubes at her tight weeds. Roasty cousins, take Ellen to Jenners. You take Ellen to Jenner's and bump her up. Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Dig dug, dig dug. Oh, no. Fire breathing dragon. Guess what flame retardant sleeve that could have get me. He remembers. Dig Dug down to the sleeve. That was what he's saying. And Trump is right, is that Rosie is just the dig dug blown up for version of Ellen. But when you're, when you're. That when you're good, when you're like, if you had the Frank Caliendo show and you saw your staff was not getting things done and they're crushing your dream, you're probably going to step up and say, I said nothing and got canceled. Yeah, you did nothing. And people walked over. You have to. You have to assert yourself, defend your body. But I think sometimes people just get stuck in it. It's like when I always talk about a car salesman. You ever go to dinner with a car salesman and they start doing deals to pass the butter. It's just like, just pass the butter. But they can't get out of that mode. And I think people defending themselves constantly just. You said that to me years ago and I still use that today. It's like you fall into the mode of your job. Yeah. And it would be as if a Carson was like, can you pass the salt? He goes, tell me what you're gonna give me. What are we gonna do for the salt? And you can't turn that switch off. You see it all the time. Whenever you go to like dinner with.

[Brady Bogan]

Somebody in a different.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry. That's tremendous. It's very good. Look at him.

[Brady Bogan]

He's digging and dugging and there's a dragon.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna shoot the arrow. Shoot the arrow at him. I loved. And what's gonna come out of that dig dug? Probably just dropped a rock on them like we are dropping rocks. Can I do. I'm gonna make you do. Do a John Madden calling dig dug. I mean, I mean, take a look. You're digging a hole and then you're pumping guys up. I mean, and they just got a little balloon guy. Boom, he's gone. And they found another balloon. One guy, boom, he's gone. I mean, now you're gonna go invade him underneath a rock to see if he got. So you gotta get close, open it up, boom, it's another dragon. You know, people think dragons didn't exist. They did dig. Doug just got to him before you saw it. So we owe our safety to dig Madden's Game of Thrones. A guy needs a throne. I mean, you know, if you got a throne and it's got a lot of thorns coming out of it, you gotta make sure you sit on the part that doesn't have the thorns. And you gotta have a little person you Gotta have a little person that seems like a good guy, but might be a bad guy. But I'll tell you what, he's always talking about his wiener, but.

[Brady Bogan]

But he's no Jon Snow. Jon Snow's like he's king of.

[John Holmberg]

Football season is coming. I mean it is. It's a Hall of Fame game that defense built the Wall. You know, winter is coming, football season is coming. And you got the other side of the Wall. There's a whole different world. So you got the Targaryens. Yeah. You got the Maddens. Yeah, yeah. You got the snow or the. What are they. What would that. What are the families again? Oh, I love think they're worthy. I just want to hear John break them all down. Yeah, I mean that's a great. That's we'll do. Should plan something, I think. And there's the. There was the Italian family. I don't remember. Oh yeah. Well, of course you guys remember that. There was Frank and Rico and Terry. Only the names have been changed here. Lannisters. The Lannisters. Yeah, Terry and Lannister. I mean Terry Lannister. T land. T land they call it. Yeah. I mean Terry, wasn't that a landline or that was some sort of computer thing? The T land T. A T1 line. That's a T1 line. We had this kind of Internet stuff when dig dug started those Dig dug. He used to dig them to dig the holes, get rid of the dragons. So we could have fiber optics. Yeah. And I think that was about the time that it all began right there. I think that is the beginning of time. A lot of people say, hey, what happened to dragons? And I said they're there. You just gotta look far enough for them. Find a dig dug. So you're saying Adam from Adam and Eve possibly was. Was dig Duck. Because that was the beginning. He had to get rid of it. Let me put that together. Yeah. Mainly I never thought of that because he was. They said that was where it all began. So the all began. But there's different beginnings for different people. I mean, different people look at things differently. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And are the rocks and dig dug. Is that dragon glass?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, oh, yeah. It is dragon glass. Yeah. That's a great call there. I mean a lot of people, you know, we weren't thinking about that. But when you put that together, if you can, it takes millions of years for that for those boulders to become dragonglass. And when they drop on a dragon, boom. Can I ask John, why would you need dragonglass when you got yourself a Dig Dug. Yeah, because there's only one Dig Dug. I mean, there's only one Dig Dug. If there were just like, there was only one Brett Favre. That's right. If you got one Dig Dug. Dig Dug was the Brett Favre of underground video gameplay. That is true. Look at. I mean, he had a cannon. Yeah, he did an arrow cannon. He's a gunslinger. Gunslinger. Yeah. All right. Didn't really look. Know what. How to read the defense, but it didn't matter. He just fired. That's. There's a lot of strategy in Dig Duck. Brett Favre would use none of it. He's diagonal. Well, thank you. That's a great breakdown of all things. Oh, the other fan, the Carly owns that one. They were. That's a meatball for us all. I don't think they were actually in that. Yeah, I think they were. Adam Corleone. I'm sorry, I got nothing. Go ahead. No, that's okay. I like that music that you play. Play that while you got a spoon and a fork and you're twisting spaghetti. That's right. Most people don't use spoon. But you use a spoon. Boom. I mean, that's a tight. That's a tight spiral, right? Real tight. Brady, keep entertaining. Come on, Brady. Go.

[Brady Bogan]

There's in Happy Gilmore.

[John Holmberg]

Thriller. It's here. All right, go ahead. Sorry.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a rumor in Happy Gilmore 2 that Taylor Swift was in it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

She played Happy Gilmore when Travis.

[John Holmberg]

She was. Yeah, she was the Adam Sandler of the movie.

[Brady Bogan]

But she wasn't. Adam said. No, she wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

She was not in the bear suit. Yeah, no, no, she was not in the bear suit. She was in a bunny suit. And Travis. Kelce. Spoiler alert. She was dressed as bad bunny. Yeah. But she was dressed as a nice job. And they were in the cotton patch. Here comes Peter Cottontail. Yeah. Cotton pads shooter.

[Brady Bogan]

Someone asked.

[John Holmberg]

You said that movie was okay. I like. I like the beginning. Horrible fun with it. No, no, no, no. Stop it. Stop it. Not one joke was written. It was nut kicks and fights It. Slapstick comedy. It might as well have been black and white and Buster Keaton. It might as well have been my act. It might as well been Frank's act. I didn't laugh once. Maybe my favorite part was. Was Nick Swardson in black and white walking in with his hairdo. The only amusing part was the sepia tone. And then they had to go to the. He had a shoe shoved in his ass. And I'm like, jesus, did they have. Have any Jokes. Are there any clever moments in this? No, it wasn't. Johnny the Sandman so bad. Getting it wrecked. I was getting upset at the whole thing. Don't get mad. Yeah. I couldn't help it. Don't get mad. You wanted empathy. We only had 50 million streams yesterday. I know. And that's where I'm more. Maybe you're not in touch with entertainment. You know what? That's scary because that's exactly how I feel. A poopy. Exactly. A poopy. Boopy. And people download. Click, click, click, click, click. Oh, yeah. That just got another 100,000 streams. And the shoe will be shoved up a button. America will download. It's crazy. I hate it. I hate it. I hate that. That. I hate people like you trying so hard and not succeeding at all. And then he does this with poopies. And it's okay to use low brow humor but write a joke. Yeah. Johnny, how come. How come you never go low? I never go low. It's always highbrow. Hey. Hey, man. Eyebrow run. I'm classy. Frick.

[Brady Bogan]

The big movie this week in the Naked Gun.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's on. Do you think Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson are really a couple? I hope so. Yeah. I do. I actually want to see that. And do you think that's. I don't know who you are. Promotion. I don't know what you want. That's right. Raggy.

[Brady Bogan]

When they were doing the junkets and Liam was talking about Taken.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry. We can't hear you. We're motorboating. Pamela.

[Brady Bogan]

I've got a particular set of skills. He wanted that out of me.

[John Holmberg]

I couldn't hear you. I was using thighs as earmuffs. That's my new movie. Motorboat. Motorboat. Yeah. I will find you and I will take you. I have found you. Barbed wire 2. Who would have ever guessed that 35 years ago Schindler's List and barbed wire would be a thing? Oscar Schindler bangs barbed wire. Do you think I should shave my eyebrows as well? It might work. She does have a propensity for guys with huge dorks. And I have that. I look like Tommy Lee's. He's got a. I have Tommy Lee's dick hanging from my thighs. No, I just am it. No, I'm saying I have. I am the entire Am. The entity that is. Yes. We joined fists and said Wonder Twin powers activate to create animated Tommy Lee's dick with personality and face. No, my dick has a dick bigger than Tommy Lee's. That's how big it is. It's like putting Mount Rushmore on Mount Rushmore. Oh, man. I don't know. It still seems like a. Like, if you're 70, that's still a kill. Pam Anderson. Crushing it. No, killed it. Still not bad either, by the way. It's not what it was, but I closed my eyes and I know.

[Brady Bogan]

Helen Murin.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's still a good one. Just, you know, it's a thing. I wonder how much of it is promotional. Like they're just to get people to talk. I feel like a lot of it is. I think so, too. Will they stay together after the movie flops? Do you want to see it? I want to see it. Out of curiosity, because I love the Naked Gun movies. I think the timings wrong. Everything I've seen, the timings wrong. Well, they keep moving it on. No, no, no. The timing of the jokes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When you showed me Life's Too Short. Oh, my God. With Liam Neeson on. With Warwick Davis. Yeah. That's how that movie needed to be. Where he's completely serious. Yeah. The whole time trying to be funny. Yes. Like, aware that he's not that funny, but he's doing funny lines. Would be the Frank Drebin. Perfect. Yeah. I don't know what this is. And it was. It needs to have that camera moving and awkward looks. Yeah. It's got to be that. I didn't. Yeah. I didn't see in the previews and all the clips I've seen anything more than just like a. We're gonna swing at every pitch. Every line's gonna be just Seth McFarland. It's. Every line's gonna be a swing. And some will go and some won't. I don't know. But it was supposed to come out in June. Oh, really? Which always makes me worry for a movie that's like, let's not. Let's put it out on a weekend.

[Brady Bogan]

Push it back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Anyway. All right. Frank's here for the Squares. How about that? Ah, no, you don't. Thrillers. I am, too. Thriller will host the Squares. We need two people to play the squares. 585 9, 800. That's the phone number. We need a girl. We need a boy. What are we giving away? I don't know. All right. Something good. We'll figure it out. Brett will look it up. We got maybe even Shinedown this week. I could throw. I could throw a pair of tickets to Desert Ridge. That's right. And Frank's tickets are on the line as well, for winner or loser, you choose. August 22nd, 23rd. Not this weekend. Desert Ridge Improv. Yeah, it's a beautiful thing. So Frank's tickets are in it. We'll give you tickets to something else. Everybody wins something. We need a girl. We need a boy. The Squares are coming up next. It's 98, Arizona's most power, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Of course Frank Caliendo has joined us. And that means the Caliendo Squares are here. Which also means that Frank must have a show coming up. And yes, he does. Desert Ridge. August 22nd, 23rd, 24th. You want to go now? Go to Desert Ridge improv.com or win. You can win tonight, Eric. This morning. You win the Guadalupe Squares. And you can do it. Hi, Thriller. How are you? Hey there. How you doing? When did you turn to a cartoon rat? Told you. He changes whenever I'm here. I was happy to be here. It's been nice.

[Brady Bogan]

That was really.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, gang, how you doing? Everything's great on my end. I'm Thriller. Woohoo. As long as you don't try to be funny, you're fantastic. That's the problem. That's the biggest problem. Just be serious. I have not seen you since our date. Yes, we went to a thing called Adu. Yes, sure. And it's a Japanese performer who lives in like, blackface and gets in behind this cage and they show cartoons the whole time. And she sings in Jap. She screeches. Yes, in Japanese. And they filled the Footprint center with a bunch of thrillers. Sold out. Sold out. And so I said, here's tickets to that. And then I took them to the. The Rah Rah Rah room before. And that was great. It was nice, right? And he ordered hot dogs in a blanket. Pigs in a blanket. I didn't want to cost too much. I wanted a nice small bill for you. Well, that's not a. Well, either way, I appreciate that you were looking out for me, but him and his friend bought merchandise. Yes. Which is this. This is a thing you're actually a fan of 1000%? Yes, legitimately. What makes you a fan of the. It's just. It's just a band. So it's a popular. It's a band. Yeah. Okay, but. But it's weird. Mostly a vocalist. Here, listen to this. He always buses out the screeching 9. This is the whole thing? Yeah. So it's the cage, the impression entire time. You don't see any visuals. It's just a. They tried to take away my glasses cuz they have cameras on them. Yeah, you can't record any of. Cuz nobody's allowed to even see or. Or know who she is. And then she. Yoko owners her way right there. That's when it gets good.

[Brady Bogan]

That's not even her.

[John Holmberg]

That's the dig dug moment right there. There's lightsabers. It's a two hour set and I loved every minute of it. Did you get lucky? No, not with that guy. Not. No. I thought he was all in. No. Did he shave his head yet? Your friend has the worst baldness I've ever seen. I don'. So why don't you be more of a friend and tell him I've. Wait. I've told him for years. I tried. He's hanging on to the worst hair. It's terrible. All right. Anyway, sorry, I just wanted to catch up with you for a little bit. Here's the host of your Guadalupe Squares, the Caliendo Squares thriller Wall Street. Thank you, Chancellor. Let's begin. Top left square. We got Adam Sandler starting off. Hey guys, I just checked my phone. Another 500 million streams. Congratulations. And oh, I'm getting that text from asap. Says John Holberg doesn't know crap. He doesn't know good comedy until he. I missed the Hulkster and Ozzy. They were going to be in the movie, but we had to cut them out and we couldn't keep them in. Yeah, we couldn't put them in that. That graveyard of everyone you've ever known.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe Hubie Halloween 2.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, could be. Yeah, that would be pretty good. We got it. Kept everybody in the movie except for Calendo. Don't want him. Even Rob Schneider on a tricycle there. Can't even tell if you're being honest or not. Was he actually on tricycle? Yeah, you can do it. You can do it. I don't know, I. I just say get the guy in the movie and then pay him. Hey, Thriller. You ever seen that Japanese lady who screeches? Not officially, no. That's pretty good. Oh, no. What does she sound like? Adam? She stole your act. It's the same noise. Well, were those two cats that used to be in that Disney movie, the Chiamise Cats? Yeah, I am going on now. That's that. He just made $100 million. Oh, hold on. Just got a text from the CEO of Netflix. Yeah. Ooh, 3 billion. Oh, Elon Musk is way behind E my Dusk Musky. We were going to have him in the movie, but he was busy digging holes. All right, now, top middle score, we got Liam Neeson up next with his new girlfriend. Or at least talk about her. My new girlfriend? Yes. You're talking about Pamela Anderson. Yes. Well, she is actually here. Oh, she's under the. Oh, she's playing a little dig down. She's down underground. There's some fire. I learned my career wasn't going the direction it needed to go as I chased Academy Awards. Then I saw Adam Sandler made $500 million on nonsense remaking movies today in theaters. Naked Gun is back. And now a new remake we're doing. My new girlfriend and I have decided to write a new film. Well, Brady did. It's called Gag Wire. Might be one of us. Tell her it is very good. Tell. Tell. Tell the crew about it there. Pamela, you jump in the tank and go get ready. Wait a second. I might have mixed that up with Tank Girl. That's right. Tank Girl was about the same time as Pauly Sword and Adam San are very familiar. Yeah, they get them mixed up, all right. That's funny, though, you know, I would have loved to have had a cameo. Cameo, cameo, cameo, cameo. Great musical artist, by the way. Cameo. Word up. That's the code. Word up. Everybody say. What are you looking at? What's the word? Word up. He has no idea what. No, I'm way too young for that. All right, calm down. Way too. You're not too young for that young lady who was on the stage there. That's true. Over now to me at top right square. Got President Trump joining us. Yes. And it's going to be very good. We're going to probably have one of the best square sessions. Yeah. You always deliver. Are you combining syllables? Sometimes, yes. Cuz it sounded a D. Liver. Cuz it sounded like liver. And I don't like that. I want you to use all your. I want you to articulate. Okay, I'll be sure I will. Rubber baby buggy bumpers. Rubber baby bub. You're struggling. You're struggling. I don't know how you can host a game show when you can't get through that. That's fair. Deliver with the apostrophe. Okay. Deliver. Deliver. Always liver. Deliverance. Deliverance. Always deliverance. I could see you're the banjo, but I know for a fact you wouldn't catch me. No, I probably get away from you. Get outrun that. You want to play Pulp Fiction? Same thing. I would be on my hands and knees crawling Away from Thriller like this is easy. The gimp is a great guy. The gimp hosting match game Oh, I also. He's got. He's got a great mouth. Very pretty mouth. I keep hearing that. One of the prettiest. I've never seen a lot of pretty mouths. A very pretty mouth.

[Amir K]

He can be.

[John Holmberg]

You hear that a lot in his circles. I just lost all air dig dug. Okay, now over to the middle of square. Shannon Sharp and Stephen A. Alongside us. Steven, Steven, Steven. Why you got to fire me? Because Skip, listen, let's. Why you got to find me on what goes on on the show? Come on, man. The hyperbolic effervescence of what's going on in this situation. I know what you're talking about. Cordiality. What are you talking about? Come on. Bring me back on the show. I'm ready. Rape nobody. That's clear. Skip. I had to remember who I was for a second. It took me a second. Skip a. Skip a Steven Skip a hard phase. Hard to remember. Hard to remember your name. Skip, listen. Strong enough for a man but made for a woman. Secret pH B8 balance I'm glad you called. Step in. Step in. Skip. It took. I just. I now I. I decided that I was my job. That's all I want. I want my job back. Neither of us know give me my job. That's first take. First take always. I want my job back. Skip. Skip a Skip a Skippy peanut butter and you complain about my mov to the middle highbrow. He's my brother. My brother Sterling. Oh, Sterling here. I'm Sterling Sharp. How are you? I don't know how. We were raised in the same house. Yeah. We had the same parents. That's right. He did diction class and I did dix in class. Yeah, he showed us what right. I showed my dick. He did diction. We got him confused. But Skip A hired me back now. Come on.

[Amir K]

I don't have.

[John Holmberg]

I don't have those powers hours.

[Brady Bogan]

We.

[John Holmberg]

We never we. It's like being Aquaman at the hall of Justice. I just can't pull it off. We never going to have you on club. Club Shay. But I could talk to some Aquarius. Can't be on no Club Shay Amphibious if I can't be on skip a show give you a club Shay shay. People accuse of never listening to each other. Yep. I think. I think it might be better that way over now to be a middle square. We got only fans Brady. What do you sell? Well, I'm starting a new only fans. My Brother. I learned that from John this morning. Sometimes. Hi, Frank. Hey. Sometimes on Only fans, the gay guys are brothers. And not like Sherlock, Shirley and Stanley next to me. Oh, wow. Stanley and Sherman. What were their names? Only fan, the gay guys are brothers. Like what? Me and my brother Tom are gonna do the gay thing. The thing he's gonna say of like this. On Only fans, you at least switch positions. No, I'm a bottom. Okay, wait a second. What's going on in that square below me? You got a real pretty mouth. Did someone say below me? I'm going to get to work. A below me sash. 9.95amonth. That's not a terrible rage. That's not a terrible. You got one member. See, it's reasonable. Adam made 50 million in his movie. I made 11 bucks last month. I don't know how. Over now to the middle right square. We got Gruden and Cowboy joining us. It's the hall of Fame coaches. That's right. Wait a second. You're just in a Century 21 jacket. Not all. You have to get the yellow jacket from the actual hall of Fame. Yeah, it's on the way, man. It's on order. Layaway. I tell you what, hold on. I got a box coming, man. When they. When. When they come to your house and they give you that code, I'm telling you right now, the emotions, they get out of control. I'm telling him. I talked to my wife, V. Oh, no, he's doing this again. And I said, I'm in the hall of Fame. All my time he talks about he. He starts. I start weeping a little bit and they get a little emotional about it. Then I thank the Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh Steelers. That's a good team. I'll tell you what, family at cbs, this guy is making Dick Vermeil seem like John Madden right now. Can't help but get a little emotional. I talked to my daughter, Megan. Hey, Bill, you do any. You know what? You know, you should open up a box of Kleenex. That's right. After a box of clean. You open boxes. I open boxes, but I open boxes of manly stuff. You should open a box. I open boxes. Tissues. I've been opening boxes since Schindler's List. There's a box. I'll open it. Telling you right now, we're wearing that Century 21 jacket. You're not in the hall of Fame. Yeah, man, I got. I'll be there, man, because I just got back. Ring of Honor. Ring of Honor, man. That probably brought a tear to your eye. That would have sucked. I man through it. I didn't. Thinking about your family. Johnson and Johnson, by the way. Johnson Johnson, baby shampoo, man. No more tears. Tell you what, it's actually tears. Tears doesn't tear in the hair. That's tearing the hair. Yeah. What are you talking about, man? You're probably one of those guys who likes those awkward Japanese shadow singers. Ah, how'd you know? Yeah, I could tell. Ah, I tell you why I feel bad for Thriller. You know, he's gotten a tough break in his life, and occasionally I think about my kids. Come on, man. Just like getting a little emotional thinking about Thriller hobbling around the hallway. So I don't even want to be in a hall of fame with struggling. They put a tear in my bust. I know my bus crash. So does the one underneath me. I can make it look like her bust has been crying. Now to the bottom left square. Britney secret square. Give us a hint. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

How's everyone doing today? I. I've got vocal problems. I'm 62 years old. I'm the lead singer of Metallica.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's very, very impressive. That was actually dead ringer there. What a great actor. One to one, I hope we could get him in the movie. Over now to the bottom, middle square. We have the Freemans joining us. Well, here we go back again, the Freemans. Freeman and Freeman, good to see you both. And just moments ago, yes, the talk of a box. There was a time where we. We all involved in a box. What's in the box, man? Tell me what's in the box, man. What's in the box? Oh, no. What's in the box, man? Oh, I wondered. Got confused as to who it was. Hold on, here it is. Nope, got nothing. John was cycling through that Rolodex of characters in his head, some of them coming out two at a time. It had happened to Frank many times as well. He was just happy to see it happen to John. John. Still not sure how I'm gonna get it back, but there it is. We're home again. John Holmberg, human after all. No debating. Did somebody say debating? I know about that guy. They're very close voices. I never really realized where they came from. They're all the same. The same guy, isn't it? That's right. Morgan Freeman, Forest Gump and Mar and Freeman. Hey, I never knew that one. All right, those are two. All right, keep going. All righty now. Our Lord and savior. Bottom right square, tripp weave. How you doing, sir? I Frank, I always like when you're here, John. Oh, no. Wrong. No, I. Into my head. I was three steps ahead. Working on your impression. I don't have it yet. You'll get it. It's John doing it. Hey, what do you do in the mornings? Do you. Are you busy in the morning at all? What are you. What are you looking for? Well, kind of sick of somebody. And I know you and Brady get along. Did you say L. Cara? Luke Carnesa and I. Well, I was going to hire him to do morning, but Luke can't. He's dead. Leukemia. Like. Let me tell you something, brother. Yeah, I was just going to see if you were. You know, I could never do. I could. No, no, no, no. This is like. What if there was an opening? No, I. Did someone say opening? He's good. I like that guy. Yeah. So, you know, keep it up. Keep in mind, you know, you. You never know if somebody got hit by a Jeep. Rubicon in the park. Rubicant make it into work? Maybe. I don't know. Just asking. If you want a job, it's available. That's all certain people. Come on. Yeah. Come to my office. Now, for the last time, why is Morgan's music still on? Because it's an escape from Shawshank. Yeah. All right. Who do you got on the. Patrick and Fraz. Fraz, are you there? Yes, I am. Patrick, are you there? Yes, I am. All right. Welcome to the Caliendo Squares. Fraz, pick a square. Go. I would like the secret square, please. I think she knows that one. Good luck. What do you think it is, Downy? James Hetfield. That's exactly. Ex. Gets the square right now, over to Patrick. Make your selection. Adam Sandler. Yeah, There we go. It's so great to be in this room. All this talent and Brady. That's the funniest thing you've said in a long time. It's a good one. A real joke. Yeah, a real joke. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Good one, Sam.

[John Holmberg]

Unfortunately, we just had it cut. It cut from the moon. And it was replaced with you getting hit in the nuts by something. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, God. Just got hit in the nuts with a number. Huge number from Netflix. 50 gazillion streams. It's gonna be okay. Oh, I just bought an island. 50 gazillion streams. Yeah, a gazillion man. Pretty big. It's a lot. And prehistoric. I got a question for you. Yeah. Thriller. Take it. All right on after average, true Men spend 19 hours per year hiding from their family in the bathroom. Oh, yeah. That's. On average. How much time? 19 hours a year. 19 hours. You know it's way more than that. I'm gonna say false. What are you gonna say? The family hides from me in the bathroom. Oh my nut stack. $20 trillion comedy. All right, so you're saying false. Oh, look, there goes my pride. It's out the window. That left only 40 years ago. I just dropped segments long. False for me, false for him. We didn't answer this on a whim because we know it's a happy Gilmore 3 is coming out. I've been pooping on screen for two hours. For two hours I'll be poopy. 50 million. I'm sure you will. All right, so you're saying falls Now, Patrick, do you agree or disagree? Go ahead, Patrick. I agree. Correct. Circle gets a square. All right, we hop on over, back to fraz, make choice. Ah, how about Morgan Freeman? All right, the Freemans are back. That's what you think. And they were here. We were once again confused as all get out. Just waiting for Dick Toledo to step away from the wall that was holding him up. He just leans and makes people uncomfortable. Well, I. I do the same thing. Don't even. You have to lean or you'll tip over. You're like a two wheel bike on a four wheel car. This doesn't make sense. You're gonna leave. We thought about getting a cane and called it a kickstand. His nickname should be Schwinn. Guess his little league works like a kickstand. Hobbling around with a flat tire in the hallways, sometimes tipping over. I actually did fall recently. Yeah, of course you did. Now give us a time where you didn't fall. Fall. And we also know that Brady likes lean sizzling. So long as it isn't sizzling and it's real bacon. That's right. You can tell who writes the jokes for himself and who's happy to deliver. He wrote down sizzle. Lean. Cuz he heard the word lean. I was like, where are you from? That's from the mind of Bogan. And that's when it all made sense. It all made sense. But he heard the word lean and immediately heard the pop and the gristle snaps of sizzling in the pan. A lot of times they tell you to just be yourself. This is not one of those times. Never ever be yourself. All right. Do you know how to spell my name? Thriller. Do you know how to spell it? Yeah, Morgan. M O R G. A big M. Little organ.

[Brady Bogan]

Other way around.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. That's not how it works.

[Brady Bogan]

Little M. Big organ.

[John Holmberg]

I understand that, but that would look stupid on paper. Misses its point on the double entendre there, Sydney Sweeney, follow along. All right, question for the two of you here. Yes. All right. 3% of all men alive today are direct descendants of Genghis Khan. True or false? I am. He probably is a descendant of a Genghis Khan, and I think maybe we are, too. Morgan. I have a hard time believing that, Sonny. I don't know. We should do a DNA test right now. I'm doing one right now. We're gonna need samples. Test it. It's the right DNA. Well, there he goes again, shooting his DNA all over. I kicked it out of him. And you do. Brady's a direct descendant of Chaka Khan. Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan. That's all I want to do. Rocky. Chaka Khan. Let me rock your Chaka Khan let's let me rock for you I feel for you. I'd say that's probably true. 3% of the world to get this over with. I'd say just to get through the square. Probably that's true. All right, so you're saying true now. Fraz, do you agree or disagree? Did you say 3%? The question is 3%, and they're saying. Saying true. Disagree. Correct. X gets the square done. Nice. You can go to Patrick here. You can go to Trip for the block. Yeah, we'll go for the block. All right. Good to hear. Yeah, Maybe Patrick and Frank and Pat. Oh, I like the sound of that. That's got good old radio vibes to it. Yeah. The Frank and Pat Show. I think you took away from my. I do. I'm Tripp Sandler. Yeah. Yeah. How about the Frazz and Frank Show? I like that. Frank Lee and the Patty Whacker. Yeah. Yeah. Frankly speaking. Yeah. With Frank L. And Frazzy Frazzlock. That's good old fashioned. Ding, ding, ding. It's the new zoo on kupd. I got a question for you, sir. K Zoo. Pete. Yeah. I'm sick of the one guy, so maybe. Oh, just plop you in here? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, go. Can you keep it clean? No. A little dirty. All right, all right. No woman has ever been awarded the Medal of Honor. Thank God. Trip. Trip. Yeah. True or false? Okay. Not. Not your personal opinion. No, I was just. Because that would mean we put a woman in charge of something. Oh, yeah. Have you seen our sales department helping Trip? I'll say true, okay. Because. Well, Wait a minute. Did Obama's wife. No, that's a man. I'll say. True. Okay. No woman has ever deserv deserved or won the Medal of Honor. All right, you're saying Trina for the block here. Patrick, do you agree or disagree? Disagree. Correct. Circle blocks it. Oh, no. Next one wins. Next one wins. Back to fraz here. Make a choice. How about middle square, please? Middle square. Only fans, Brady. All right, Only fans, Brady. I don't want to interrupt you and Tom there, but. Yeah, my brother Tom. Tom's behind me. Need a moment of your time. And you're all cleaned up. That's my brother. Please, after you clean up. Sounds like a turtle mating. Thanks, Thriller. I just saw another donation from Thriller. I was told by Tripp to do this. Ah, thanks to Brett for that. And you're right. That is a big piece. I can feel it in my chest. How come it's not accepting mine? Liam? Niece. Schindler's coins. Here's an icon. It's a fist. Schindler's. Wow. Okay. Feels like a guy's bowling back there. That thing. All right, go ahead. All right, all right. Humans are better at smelling rain than sharks are at smelling blood. Type something into this and see if they take suggestions. Get that in there. Get. Enter. I don't know if they saw it. Sir, something called DJ247 has suggested that you pee on me, Tom. Okay. We'll do golden showers. Yes. It's exactly what I wanted for my only fans. My gay only fans. I like to watch guys doing that anyway. I'll say that's true. Fake news. All right, Fake news, you're saying. True here. Now for the win. Fraz, do you agree or disagree? Frady, I'm going to agree with you. Correct. Clean it up. It's all finished. Clean up. I've got a spare towel. No, I don't. Never mind. It's all used up. It's gone. It's not as absorbent as it should be either. It's more just a slop rag at this point. Oh, it's very dirty squares, frankly. You've been offered my job through that twice. No, no, I did. Told you could have it. No, you're good. I pop in. I don't think you'd want to get up this early. No way. Yeah, let's get here at five. That's good. That's when I get here. Still too early. No, we'll discuss it later. John. John, I heard something that seemed like it might have been aimed toward me. No, nothing's aimed towards target. Hit stopper. We'll never stop. That's it. We're done. Thanks. Thriller. You doing anything this weekend? Oh, yeah. We got Phoenix Rising this weekend. Oh, boy. Soccer on the radio. Up against Birmingham, Alabama. Yeah, Redneck soccer. That's a thing. Okay. No, thanks. You all right? Frank's got a show. August 22nd, 23rd, 24th at Desert Ridge. Desert Region. I'm gonna go see it. Amir K. He's great. I'm gonna go see Amir. He's there at Desert Ridge this weekend. This weekend? That's right. Go see Amir this weekend. Frank's on the 22nd through the 24th and go 22nd, 23rd. Only fourth. He's there. By the way, when I shook hands with whoever it was, I don't know if it was the guy from the improv whose name I can never. Brad or Brad pitch. Yeah, Brad or Amir K. Yeah. Somebody has the best smelling. It's amazing, right?

[Brady Bogan]

He gets an oil at Whole Foods.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Yeah. Trip like that. All right, we're done. Let's get the hell out of here, shall we? Thanks, Frank. Tickets to Frank are available to whoever wants them on the win. She won, so she gets choices. Yep. And then we'll give the other guy something too. We're done. Thank you, Frank. You come back again before the 20th. Multiple times. Pour it out, my friend. That's it for us. We're done. We'll see you guys Monday in the morning. Sickness Hollow, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. Can recruitment be beautiful? At lhh, we believe it can when it's rooted in purpose, not just process. We don't just match resumes to roles. We uncover once in a lifetime talent. We understand the skills you need so we can connect you with people who align with your vision and can deliver lasting impact. Discover a more human approach to hiring. Visit LHH.com beautiful recruitment development career Transition A beautiful working world. Running a business is hard work. Building your website shouldn't be. With wix, you can express your ideas, give direction, then leave the heavy lifting to AI. From site creation to branded content and images. Have fun with the details, customize what you want the way you want, and manage your whole business from a centralized dashboard with expert AI tools. Build, scale and enjoy the incredible results. You can do it all yourself on wix.